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the akratic socratic

@etirabys / etirabys.tumblr.com

radical skepticism bot; fandom crone; meme junkie; code monkey; bayesian asian "I have never in my life loved any people or collective – neither the German people nor the French nor the American nor the working class or anything of that. I indeed only love my friends, and the only kind of love I know of or believe in, is the love of persons." - Hannah Arendt "keep forgetting that you're not American originally and that makes the Amish fetishism so much funnier" – tumblr user discoursedrome

Walked dazedly into my room where there's an air purifier running loudly. Bright daylight, but I turn on the light.

Blink. Examine mental backtrace for why.

"My sensory clarity seemed low (due to the white noise) so I did the sensory clarity increasing thing".

Thanks, brain.

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Outer space is impossibly vast, but it’s really not that difficult to learn all the important types of objects that are out there (kinds of stars, kinds of planets, kinds of galaxies, whatever), which sort of weirds me out. There’s a lot of complexity within that, and a fair amount we still don’t know, but it’s eminently plausible to get the gist of it. A precocious preteen could handle it all. We aren’t there yet, but I find it very easy to imagine a future in which space is well understood and seen as nothing but a dull, endless repetition of the same few dozen building blocks. There should be more variety to it!

Hard disagree (says the planetary geologist). Almost every planetary body in our solar system is the only known object in the universe that does [x], and a good chunk of the larger moons too.  Some of these are probably common in a larger extrasolar framework, and we can expect to see them in many solar systems; but others may be very rare, and very precious.  Consider the hemispheric dichotomy of Mars, which places its northern hemisphere kilometers below the southern half of the planet, or the equatorial ridge around Iapetus that circles it like the seam from a cheaply molded plastic toy.  Consider the sulfur raining down on the surface of Europa as its orbit trails in the shadow of Io’s volcanic emissions, gently mixing water ice with potentially bioavailable nutrients from two worlds.  Consider the plumes of Enceladus, the ice of Mercury, the shining salt domes of Ceres. This is true in time as well as space; Mars had a hydrological cycle and surface weathering processes unlike anything we ever saw on Earth (which is causing all kinds of trouble trying to pick up the pieces here in the present, let me tell you); I myself participated in some research not long ago suggesting that mountains on Mars might have grown from the top up.  Earth has had several major climate regimes with a radically different character, none of which exists elsewhere in the solar system.  Venus almost certainly had a very different surface and atmosphere than it does today; whatever that looked like, it’s a safe bet that something unique was lost forever. We have models of planetary formation with some granularity; within broad strokes, planets will evolve along certain pathways and within certain limits.  Yes, the cosmos is ordered.  But those limits are broad enough to encompass literally everything you have ever experienced, and we have not begun to exhaust even the simpler possibilities of worlds that are barren of life.  Other systems with other worlds will do things we never imagined, and probably never will imagine without first going to see what the universe has to offer. In a sufficiently vast universe, all of these will come again.  But then, in a sufficiently vast universe, so will you.  Below that threshold, these things really are incredibly interesting.

I've never succeeded in having an art sketchbook and googled advice on how to approach it. the answers I'm seeing are very process oriented (don't worry about how it looks, you're here to experiment and play) and that's the thing that's never worked for me, so I'm going to reverse the advice. every single page has to look good. I'm here to fucking compete. I'm here to win at having an art sketchbook

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If you lead a sufficiently sinful life there is exactly one shot at avoiding perdition—if your dreamself was sufficiently virtuous, you might still be in the clear. Unfortunately, this doesn't help me much, but I encourage you all to learn lucid dreaming before it's too late

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the sharpest bitterest nail in the coffin of this hell class is that I woke up at 7:20am for the final, interrupting a tender truth pollen dream about a rarepair incest ship I have, and instead of turning over in bed and holding it to my heart for a few more minutes I immediately had to get dressed and leave. Biking to my exam on a frigid morning, I felt the last tendrils of it slip away from me, replaced by boring facts about networking protocols that I’ll probably never care about again after this day.

almost 9 years on: indeed I remember nothing about networking protocols (I’m baffled to learn I even took a class on it) but did immediately remember the dream was Francis/Richard

I never got any good at networking - I don’t know whether to blame the class (it wasn’t very good), the book (it wasn’t very good) or me (it wasn’t very good) but it felt like, instead of picking between low level details or high level abstractions, we were taught the exact midpoint and got the worst of both worlds.

I still have no idea how networking works.

I enjoyed Severance but would not recommend it. S1 was enjoyable, but much of the enjoyment was the promise that arcs would get resolved that did not get resolved in S2, which was worse in every way.

however. S2 contained the weirdest, most awkward, gay failpoly old man dinner. it means so much to me. tfw your not-successfully-pretending-to-be-chill Christian sorta-metamour is getting too drunk and saying New Sentences about the theological circumstances of the mutual partner's employment

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the sharpest bitterest nail in the coffin of this hell class is that I woke up at 7:20am for the final, interrupting a tender truth pollen dream about a rarepair incest ship I have, and instead of turning over in bed and holding it to my heart for a few more minutes I immediately had to get dressed and leave. Biking to my exam on a frigid morning, I felt the last tendrils of it slip away from me, replaced by boring facts about networking protocols that I’ll probably never care about again after this day.

almost 9 years on: indeed I remember nothing about networking protocols (I'm baffled to learn I even took a class on it) but did immediately remember the dream was Francis/Richard

I took some melatonin to sleep last night. This never keeps me down for long, but I’m trying to be sparing with gabapentin during pregnancy. “Oh well, at least I might have cool dreams, melatonin does that sometimes."

At 3am I slowly woke up from a dream where I was reading a POST request line by line. It was fine. Obviously I wasn’t enjoying this, but it was an unobjectionable way to exist for a while.

Then I finished and was immediately “handed by reality” another request, this time a GET.

“Am I… am I a web server?” I thought, horror setting in.

Then I realized I was awake.

Every time I see a duck I think to myself that I want to pick up that duck. There is a sort of quality of the duck that makes it feel like the act of picking up the duck would somehow be analogous to those strange videos where people use knives to cleanly cut through multilayered cakes. There would be a sort of accumulative act even without taking permanent possession of the duck. It would rather be more like pulling the lever on some ancient machine which makes a counter increase by one. The duck is the lever. I hope my meaning is clear to you all?

refollowing argumate because my productivity dropped enough that tumblr now funges against blankly staring at a wall rather than fungeing against coding or being in woman laughing with salad stock photos, and I should therefore have more tumblr to read. finally blacklisting 'immigration' with a beatific smile on my face wondering why i didn't do this 10 years ago

partner CJ, who got me into partner dance last year, said "he has great body isolation" the first time Mr. Milchick danced on screen. I hadn't noticed but suddenly did. and every subsequent scene where Milchick danced was zero percent about the tension & emotional resonance of anything else going on, and one hundred percent about his moves. to me

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