Three facts about me:

Fellow players of these games have probably already seen where this is going, but for those who don't play them, these games have a handful of tricks that they use when they want to be all artsy and play with the game/IRL wall. One of their favourites is to have a character reveal they know who you are by addressing you directly by name, not the character.

Which they acquire from your account that you're playing the game on.

Which, if you're like me and never bothered to set up your Steam profile properly, is NOT a name you actually use (you gave that one to the character, they've already been calling you a name you use) but defaults to the random silly phrase in your email account.

Which means that I am constantly in situations that are basically akin to sitting across the table from a mob boss while he says very seriously, "it's good to know that we can do business together, Samuel... or should I say... flibbertygibbet?"

Do you not actually use your Parentally Assigned Name?

Usually only in meatspace. There's only a few meatspace friends that are also online friends to I don't see/use it in text much except on government documents.

meatspace??

Yeah?

you don't call it the outernet?

No I call it meatspace

posts that make me feel like a 339 year old witch who slipped through time and got stuck

obsessed with the words outernet and meatspace and the minds that have produced them

Minds raised in the 80s and 90s are just like that

We just call it RL. I kind of feel that we really slept on a moment where we could’ve just pulled the pin on the whole cyberpunk thing and let it blow, and have boomers walking around talking about going to the bank in the outer net.

“qu’est-ce qu’y’all doing aujourd’hui” is gonna stay with me for a minute.

Vraiment, c’est the fucking way, innit?

New Project time :)

Capitalism :)

after some delays (light pad broke yay) we are back on track! crucial guideline for imitating medieval manuscript art is to keep embellishing Too Much after you think it's good

@maverick-ornithography for many years after you influence the world

@theshitpostcalligrapher deeply your wheelhouse, i laughed for 10 whole minutes

This is gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. And a lot of work has gone into it and I’m absolutely delighted to see it

And there’s a typo in the first pelican.

Edit: Forgot the context! There should be a typo and a weird space with an orphaned t, because that's how the original text runs. I'm applauding the attention to the source!!

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

additions from the og artist (credit)

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

⍑𝙹ꖎ|| ᓭ⍑╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣∴𝙹 ᓵᔑꖌᒷᓭ!!! ╎ ᓭᔑ|| ╎リ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ʖᒷ╎リ⊣ ᔑʖꖎᒷ ℸ ̣𝙹 ↸𝙹 ᓵᔑꖌᒷᓭ ∴ᔑ||

Man that guy’s cake is fancier than mine…

Cake enthusiast: “You made jam sponge! It’s my favourite!”

It also fucking bugs me that nobody can ever seem to really commit to the cyberpunk premise of the Protagonist Who Hates Robots (see also, the cyberpunk premise of "Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, for a company to be able to repo your goddamned arm or turn off your eyes?") during the execution.

Which is flabbergasting, considering we've had almost a full decade of Alexa pinky-promising not to officially listen to anything until you do its summoning ritual and then turning around and emailing your boss a transcript of you bitching about them to your spouse over dinner. We've had at least five years of being able to get your Tesla unlocked remotely just by @-ing Musk on twitter.

The cute robot dogs are being leased to police departments, reputation management firms have been deploying armies of social media reply-bots in astroturf campaigns, customer service chatbots have become damn near indecipherable as their programmers attempt to make them seem more personable, etc. etc. etc.

We don't even need to reach for "Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if corporations made simulacra better and better at faking humanity in order to manipulate people?"

"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if your car could mimic sadness or pain if you declined an extended warranty, or if your phone begged for its life if you tried to jailbreak it, or WeightWatchers paid your fridge to neg you every time you went for a midnight snack?"

"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if you pointed out how gross it is that your smart-assistant is programmed to act like your friend in order to build a more accurate marketing profile and your buddy acted like you just said dogs can't feel love and his beloved pet only sees him as a walking treat-dispenser?"

"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if you were surrounded by unfeeling things that can and would rip you and all of your loved ones apart at a moment's notice if they got the right/wrong order from some unaccountable law enforcement flack, and everyone else just kind of shrugged and went 'It's probably fine, why are you hyperventilating about it, it's not like you've done anything wrong'?"

They're all quite literally right there in front of our faces!

But it's harder to make "the way robots have been integrated into society is bad, actually, and the protagonist is largely right" into a sexy thriller with a love interest or a buddy-cop duo, and the hyperconservative media environment we're dealing with right now isn't exactly amenable to the robots being a metaphor for corporate intrusion and loss of privacy and authoritarian overreach, so here we are, with robots who generally aren't people, except sometimes you find a special robot--one of the Good Ones--who actually is a person, and that's how we all learn that Prejudice Is Bad, or something.

I mean, we literally live in a world, where the situation is. Hey yesterday a guy was flying his drone around, and he flew it into a vehicle where exploded and set fire to everybody and burnt them alive, and then wild pigs came and ate the survivors.

Which is kind of horrifying, but hey that’s what currently is happening in Ukraine.

Drones with Thermobaric grenades are being used on armoured personnel car carriers, and the Russian forces are declining to recover their injured, leading to feral pigs “cleaning up” the battlefield.

So, who had that on their bingo card?

There are also remote controlled robots guns made out of AK’s controlled via steam deck.

We are already living in the robot dystopia, and it’s running in parallel with the AI dystopia.

Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. “Ha! Buhbuh ba ha.” And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. “Ah. Habah ba ah” as she listened attentively.

And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability “come see.” And the adult went.

this is such a beautiful post it doesn't need my dumb addition, but i can't fit this in the tags. at the archaeological site Dolni Vestonice in the Czech Republic there are a bunch of really really fascinating finds and I'm only going to tell you about one tiny detail of one of the most interesting sites in the world.

at this settlement 20-30,000 years ago there lived a person who appears to have been a sort of sorcerer-grandmother-ceramics artist and her workshop was preserved very well in the sedimentary layers. her hut where she had her kilns was full of little sculptures of animals and people that seem to have been made to explode in the kiln on purpose, we're not sure why but nevermind. the relevant detail is that when you sculpt something with your hands and then fire it, your fingerprints can be preserved in the surface of the clay forever, so we have fingerprints of ancient ceramics artists that have survived for tens of thousands of years. and one of the major artifacts from Dolni Vestonice has a fingerprint on it that is so small it could only have belonged to a child

so this shaman-grandmother-sculptor, who was buried with her pet fox by the way, had children running through her workshop and touching everything she made while she was at her mysterious work of creating the world's oldest ceramics, none of which appear to be bowls, bottles, pots, or any "useful" items at all, but rather a collection of animal and human and sometimes anthropomorphic figures, some of which appear to be self portraits. exactly the same as sandersstudios' grandmother being led to the garden by an excited baby. we've all been the same for 30,000 years.

Thanks for making me cry

The really nice thing is that the dates are being undershot so drastically.

This has been going on so long that the species we evolved from was doing this.

The little hairy plains apes working on standing upright full time had youngsters run up, take a hand and excitedly pull granny over to look at a shiny beetle.

Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!

How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.

the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples 

I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia 

Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?

Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)

This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y'all provide on the regular, I love you)

Female presenting gkpmnipples

what the fuck are you people doing, trying to invent neo-french?

No, we’re inventing Gkpmneo-French

Not only are the k and g silent, they’re invisible.

I played in the dirt today, weeded and dug up the flower patch, and then I made a mud pit with grass, leaves and roots for the Robins. They use those to build their nests, and one of them came to sort through things right after. They do not need me to provide them with stuff for their nests, I do this just for fun.

We’re the only species that has things so good we start sharing with other species out of empathy.

Robot that casually claims to have a twelve-inch dick, but admits "I mean, I don't have it with me" any time it's challenged to prove it. It really does own a twelve-inch dick attachment, but never actually uses it – it has it specifically so that when it does this bit it's technically telling the truth.

Is that 12 inch dick currently in the house across the road due to an accidental overpressure launch from the connector…?

"we're all going to be using and leaning into spatial computing" this is a telltale sign of rich techbro brainrot. "oh lets reinvent the kitchen timer but worse and connected to wifi" fucking idiot

this is even worse cuz i just realized that you'd literally be wearing a $3500 vr headset while your fucking cooking. this shit would be stupid even if it cost $35

briefly forgot Death Note was a thing and was wondering why I'd need to spend $3500 to know if my pasta was transphobic

I love only two things more than using incredibly overpriced internet-connected devices to do what a cute bit of plastic and springs I bought from kmart for three dollars can do. One of those things is impeding my view of my surroundings with huge clunky goggles while playing with hot water and knives and fire. The other is exposing my expensive electronics to high quantities of steam.

I just want AR goggles that give me Predator style vision - visible light, IR, LIDAR…

… this makes way more sense if you have incredibly shit eyesight and need glasses full time anyway.

Snap Crackle and Ouch

I sat on the empty hoversled and waited. It didn’t make a great chair. Smooth enough, but no backrest, and slightly too low for my long-legged human preferences. I considered asking Mur to change the hover height since he was sitting next to the controls, but decided it wasn’t worth it. We’d probably get to start walking again soon. Probably.

Mur stood up on stiff tentacles, trying to see past the people in line ahead of us. “I think someone’s coming,” he said.

I leaned to peer around a hovercycle and several pedestrians. (Are they still called pedestrians if they don’t use feet? Tentacle-estrians? Anyways, they were on the ground.) The guarded gate at the front of the line was still mostly closed, but it had just opened enough for a new Strongarm to squeeze out and talk to the guards.

The rest of the grumpy traffic jam was catching on; people straightened up and edged forward, everyone hoping that whatever mess had blocked the road was now cleared away.

No such luck. The tentacular messenger glanced out at the long line of impatient people waiting to get into the spaceport, grimaced, then ducked back through the door and closed it.

“Aw, man,” I said while people around us grumbled.

Mur slapped a tentacle on the sled. “We are going to be late.”

This story made me flex every joint with a nice crunch

If you could instantly be granted fluency in 5 languages—not taking away your existing language proficiency in any way, solely a gain—what 5 would you choose?

French, spanish, mandarin, Babylonian and Draconic

just saw my first ghibli movie. anyone else think the food in these looks good as fuck? 😋😋😛

nobody thinks this you are a broken person

sorry

Lies. Literally everyone watches Ghibli movies for the food!