THE ERPAT

MODULES
COMMUNITY BASED
ERPAT TRAINING
BELINDA A. TAGBAR
Social Welfare Officer III
CSWDO-Field Office IV
 ERPAT stands for:
E EMPOWERMENT and
RREAFFIRMATION of
P PATERNAL
AABILITIES
T
 The community based training is the heart and soul
of the ERPAT service. This is where and when we
engage the fathers in a controlled environment.
Needless to say, much of ERPAT’S objectives
(increasing father’s knowledge, skills and values /
attitudes on parenting) are achieve.
 This chapter contains easy-to-follow sessions and /
or activity plans pedagogically arranged to ensure
competency build- up among your father- trainees.
METHODOLOGY:
 Group Sharing/
Discussion
SITUATION OF FILIPINO FATHERS
 Key Learning Points:
 There are basic attributes between a man and a woman. There are also prevailing expectations as to
how men and woman should think and behave. These expectations from the gender roles.

 Sex refers to biologically determined differences between men and women.

 Gender roles are the set of social norms that dictate what is socially regarded as appropriate female
and male behavior.

 Gender roles are learned behavior in a given society/ community or other social group that condition
which activities, tasks and responsibilities are perceived as male and female.

 Gender roles are affected by age, class, race, ethnicity, religion or other ideologies, geographical,
economic and political environment.
 Men and women differ from each other physically, emotionally and socially. Physical differences are
referred to as “Gender”.

 Gender likewise are the values and norms that support and perpetrator the belief in men’s dominant
status and natural aggressiveness and in women’s subordinate status and role in the family and in the
society as a whole.

 Fathers are perceived as symbols of strength and power in the family. Fathers are the family’s main
source of authority. The breadwinner, the decision-maker and the foundation of the family. They are
the disciplinarians and the ones who commit more forms of abuse as inherent to their characteristics as
they exercise their power and authority over their family members.
 Mothers meanwhile are perceived more a weak but loving persons. They are more emotional and do
support the decisions of the fathers as the head of the family. Their roles are confined in the
household responsibilities including that of the care of children and other family members. Because
of their inherent characteristics, they are more prone to be abused in the family including the very
young children.

 To create a wholesome and positive family life, the parents, the father and the mother have
collaborative roles to perform. In performing responsibilities at home or in the family, one should
look at more on one’s capabilities rather than on one’s biological characteristics to achieve a shared
familial roles and responsibilities, shared decision-making and a shared vision and hope for the
family.
 SESSION 1
UNDESTANDING MYSELF
METHODOLOG
Y:
 Collage- making
• What do you think is man made of?

• What makes you happy?

• What makes your life meaningful and complete?

METHODOLOG
Y:
 Individual Reflection

SINO AKO???
METHODOLOG
Y:
 Lecture- Discussion
 Key Learning Points:
 You are a rationale being. You have the capabilities to think and recognize what is right and wrong.
You use your capability in honing your qualities. You have right and freedom to act to improve and
fulfil your aspirations in life. But this right and freedom has accompanying responsibilities towards
yourself, others and God.

 Your values, personality traits, childhood experiences, personal and family goals one’s characteristics
as a person and more important of your role as a father. You are a unique person and able to relate
with others.
 You have specific purpose and mission in life and that purpose and mission provides meaning and
direction in your life. You may be more of spiritual, you may be a man of knowledge, you may be a man
of values, and you may be a man of love. All these dimensions in life affect your course of action in life.
Defining that purpose and mission in life provides meaning in one’s existence as a person and as a
father.

 Knowing yourself and knowing your own strengths and weakness is your own limitations helps you
consider things that will affect you in performing your roles as a father. You build yourself by
enhancing your strengths and working on your limitations and weaknesses.
 SESSION 2
BUILDING POSITIVE SELF-
ESTEEM AS A FATHER
METHODOLOG
Y:
 Structured Learning Exercise (River of Life)
• When are my happiest moments in life?
• How do early experiences affect me now as a father?

• How significant is my own father in influencing the river of my

life?
• How does the flow of the river affect my self-esteem and me
as a person?
METHODOLOG
Y:
 Lecture- Discussion
 Key Learning Points:
 Self- esteem is how a person feels and thinks about himself. It may be positive and it may be
negative.

 Self- esteem develops overtime. However, it constantly changes. Positive experiences and fulfilling
relationships can help raise self- esteem. Negative experiences and troubled relationships contribute
to low self-esteem.

 Factors that influence one’s self- esteem are our early childhood experiences, personal relationships in
the home, school. Community, jobs and patterns of social life.

 Self- esteem is very important because it has a direct bearing on one’s life particularly as a father.
Fathers with high self- esteem are more productive and fully functioning than those who have low self-
esteem and have no directional in life.
 A person with high self- esteem has a quiet of self- respect. He knows his value. However, a person
with low self- esteem is an insecure person. He doesn’t see his value or worth.

 To consider one’s self- esteem, one must start to look first at himself, and build on one’s self- esteem,
one’s strengths. The more positive attributes and attitudes, one has to his children and other members
of the family, the more positive one’s relations will be in his own family.

 To improve one’s self- esteem, one must begin at accepting oneself- one’s weaknesses and strengths.
There is a need to praise oneself and nurture the feeling of love and trust.

 Learn to value your abilities and be realistic in assessing yourself.

 SESSION 3
IMPORTANCE OF A
FATHER IMAGE
 Key Learning Points:
Definition of Fatherhood
Fatherhood means becoming an active partner in assuming the major
educational role in child growth and development. It means getting to know
them and sharing who you are as a person. It means spending time and
making the most of the time you spend with them. It means taking an active
interest and improvement in all the aspects of your child’s growth – social,
emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual, and language development.
Importance of father Image in the Child
A father image is important to the child because…
 Primary source of influence to children
 Father’s special participation contributes to the well- rounded development of their children

 Sows the seeds pf wholesome masculinity in his son

 Teaches healthy acceptance of the male gender identity to son by learning to acquire positive
acceptance of himself as masculine

 Provides the unique kind of stimulation that only fathers can offer. His distinct intellectual, social,
spiritual and emotional styles.
Importance of father Image in the Child
A father image is important to the child because…
 Vital factor in/and enhancing intellectual development of children

 Girl- child interactions with fathers teaches how to react to males and she expects male will react to
her femininity.
 Provides a model of manhood or male gender which to base son’s emerging identity.
 SESSION 4
DEVELOPMENT OF
PATERNAL IDENTITY
METHODOLOGY:
 Group Sharing
 Lecture Discussion
 Key Learning Points:
 Fatherhood is a lifelong process.

 Fathering is not the same as parenting. While either parent can do parenting, children still have
different experiences with their fathers than with their mothers.

 The kind of experiences that children have with their fathers will greatly depend on the kind of
relationship that they have with one another. This emotional attachment is established as the
father becomes involves during the exploration and integration stage of the children
throughout their development cycle.

 Development of attachment starts as early as during pregnancy period where the father becomes
emotionally engrossed with his newborn baby.

 Psychological- emotional bonding is deepened with the child as the father becomes more involved
with his child’s growth and development.
 Fatherhood means spending more of his vacant with the child. There is a shift of values and
priorities. Fathers now stay more at home and spend time alone with the child to meet the demands
of childcare instead of saying outside friends. He shares his true self- making know to his children
his strength and vulnerabilities as well as his hopes and aspirations.

 Fathers also need to insure that they still have a momentary space, peace and quiet hour for himself
to nurture his own sense of individuality.
 SESSION 5
KNOWNG AND
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
ROLE AS A FATHER
METHODOLOGY:
 Individual Reflection
 Group Sharing
 Lecture Discussion
 Key Learning Points:
Fatherhood is becoming an active partner in assuming the major educational role in child growth
and development.

Roles of Fathers in the Family

Article 46- Child and Youth Welfare code (PD 603)

 Affection, companionship and understanding

 Moral guidance, self- discipline and religious instructions

 Supervisions, activities and recreation

Roles of Fathers in the Family
Article 46- Child and Youth Welfare code (PD 603)

 Inculcate positive in civic affairs

 Set a good example

 Provide adequate support

Liabilities of Parents:
 Conceal or abandon the child with intent to make such child lose his civil status

 Sell or abandon the child to another person for valuable consideration

 Neglect the child by not giving him the education which the family’s station in life and financial
conditions permits.

 Fail or refuse to enroll the child as required by Article 72 of PD 603

Liabilities of Parents:
 Cause, abet, permit the truancy of the child from the school where he is enrolled

 Improperly exploit the child by using him for purpose of begging and other acts which are inimical
to his interest and welfare

 Inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon the child which causes or encourage the child to lead an
immoral or dissolute life

 Permit the child to possess or carry deadly weapons

PENALTY: 2-6 MONTHS FOR LIGHT OFFENCE!

 SESSION 6
UNDERSTANDING THE
DIFFERNECES BETWEEN
MEN AND WOMAN
 Key Learning Points:
Differences between Men and Women
Sense of Self:

 Men’s sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results.

 To offer a man unsolicited advices is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it
on his own. Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to “help” a man, she
has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him,

 A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationship. A woman
being able to share all her feelings to her interrupt this stress releasing activity of a woman by
offering immediate solution to her problem.
Differences between Men and Women
Coping with Stress:
 To feel better Men go to their caves to solve problems alone

 To feel better woman get together and openly talk about their problems.

 A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but
rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. At times, to forget her own painful
feelings, a woman may become emotionally involved in the problems of others.

 Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is
fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.
Differences between Men and Women
Ways of Motivating:

 Men are motivated and empowered what they feel needed and women are motivated and empowered
when they feel cherished. Therefore not to be needed is a slow death for men.

 A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. Therefore it is difficult
for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure.

 Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

Differences between Men and Women
Speaking Different Language:

 Both men and women language have the same words, but the way they were used gave different
meanings.

 To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors
and generalizations.

 The number one complaint of women in a relationship is: “I don’t feel heard! But men
misunderstand even this complaint.

 The biggest challenge for women is correctly t interpret and support a man when he isn’t talking.
Differences between Men and Women
Man Intimacy Cycle:

 When a man loves a woman periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. They are
like rubber bands. All times they need to pull away again to regain back their sense of autonomy and
independence.

 When a man physically pulls himself away, she physically follows him.

 When a man emotionally pulls himself away, she emotionally follows him more. She may also try to
pull him back mentally by asking him guilt- including questions.
Differences between Men and Women
Mood of Women:
 A woman’s self- esteem rises and faiths a wave. When she hits bottom, it is a time for emotional
housecleaning.

 In relationships, men pull back and get close, while women rise and fall in their ability to love
themselves and others.

 Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman, she may become even more upset. The
negative feelings of women should not be suppressed otherwise the positive feelings become
suppressed well.

 Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space
while woman want understanding. Therefore by supporting her need to be heard, she could support
his need to be free.
Differences between Men and Women
Emotional Needs:
 Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to receive and appreciate the other kinds
of love.
 A woman needs care and a man needs trust.

 She needs understanding and he need acceptance

 She needs respect and he needs appreciation.

 She needs devotion and he needs admiration.

 She needs validation and he needs approval.

 She needs reassurances and he needs encouragement.

THANK YOU!!!