Communicating With Children

WITH
CHILDREN
 Good communication is
an important parenting skill.
the key to building self-esteem &
mutual respect
 Parenting can be more enjoyable when
positive parent-child relationship is
established.
 Listening & talking is the key to a healthy
connection between parents & children.
 Parent-child communication is both
the: - Verbal
- Non-verbal
inter-action between a parent & child
within a family system.
 It takes place throughout the child’s

ages & developmental stages.
 Communicating with children

regularly ensures that they
continually absorb a wealth of
language.
VERBAL INTERACTION
Words of encouragement & praise:
- Yes - Good job
- Good - I noticed that you ___
- Fine - Keep it up
- Very good - You’re the best
- Excellent - Now you’ve got it
- Marvelous - That’s beautiful
- That’s right - I like your _____
- Correct - I like the way you do that
- Wonderful - I’m pleased with you
- Wow - You’re doing better
- Very nice - Good idea
- O. K. - Good remembering
- That’s the way - You are great at that
- Much better - I’m sure glad you are my child
- That’s perfect - I LOVE YOU
NON-VERBAL INTERACTION
We can SHOW & TELL them how we feel:
-Smile
-Nod
-Pat on the shoulder, head, back
-Wink
-High Five
-Touch cheek
-Tickle
-Laugh with (not at)
-Big Hug
-Signal or gesture to signify approval
BASIC
PRINCIPLES
TO
GOOD PARENT &
CHILD
COMMUNICATION
I. LET THE CHILD KNOW THAT WE
ARE INTERESTED & INVOLVED &
WILL HELP WHEN NEEDED
Show Interest By Observing the Following:
 Face the child
 Look directly to his eyes (Eye Contact)
 Avoid distractions
 Put aside whatever we are doing at that very
moment
 Be physically close to the child
II. BE AVAILABLE
Noticetimes when children
are most likely to talk:
- at bedtime
- before dinner
- in the car
EXPRESS OUR EMOTIONS
TO CHILDREN
Express, reveal
our feelings to
children to know
more about us as a
person, aside from
being a parental
figure.
Learn about children's interests —
for example, favorite music &
activities, show interest in them.
- Play games with our
children.
- Children often reveals
many things during the
course of play they
might not otherwise talk
about & this varies by
age level
- By listening to these
signals its possible to
learn more than just by
talking with them.
lll. The best communication
between the parents &
children occurs when nobody
is around.
Hold conversations
in private,
with privacy.
lV. Embarrassing children or
putting them on the spot in front
of others will lead only to
resentment & hostility, it is not
good communication.
V. If very angry about a
behavior or incident:
- don’t attempt communication
until you regain your cool
- it is better to stop
- compose yourself
- talk to
the child
later
VI. If we are very tired, make an
extra effort to be an active
listener. Genuine active listening
is hard work & very difficult
when our
mind & body
are also
tired.
Vll. Listen carefully &
politely. Don’t interrupt
children when trying to
tell their story. Be as
courteous to them as we
would
be to
our
best
friend.
Vlll. DON’T ASK WHY,
BUT DO ASK WHAT
 Initiate HAPPENED
conversations.
 Share what is on
top of our mind
rather than
starting a
conversation with
a question.
lX. If we have
knowledge of the
situation:
- confront children
with the information we
know or
have been
told
 Listening carefully is how we gather
information about what's going on in
our children's life & ahead of them.
 Listening attentively builds strong
relationships.
 Listening thoroughly shows respect.
 Listening is always the first step in
solving problems.
 Listening to children‘s perspective
will teach us a lot. Listen to them &
they will teach us how to raise
them.
 If we want children to listen to us,
listen to them first.
 Children who are listened to learn
also how to listen.
 Soften strong reactions;
- children will tune us
out if we appear
angry or
defensive.
 Express our opinion without putting theirs
down; acknowledge it's ok to disagree.
 Speak & listen with calmness &
compassion.
- express a
dissenting view
with sensitivity
and consider
children’s
feelings.
 Resistarguing about who is
right. Instead say, "I know
you
disagree w/
me but this
is what I
think.”
 Focuson the children's
feelings rather than on
our own during
conversations
with
them.
REMEMBER:
 Ask children what they may want /
need from us in a conversation–--
advice, suggestion, etc.
 Simply listening helps

deal with feelings or
solve a problem or
whatever concern.
 Children learn by imitating.
 They will follow our lead in how
they deal with anger, solve
problems & work through
difficult feelings.
(Role
Modelling)
 Talkto children —
- don't lecture
- never criticize
- do not
threaten
- never say
hurting
words
 Childrenlearn from their
own choices. As long as
the consequences are not
dangerous, don't feel we
have to
step in.
Listen carefully to what
they say, encourage them to
talk & they
may share the
rest of the
story.
 I LOVE YOU
 I’M PROUD OF YOU
 I’M SORRY
 I FORGIVE YOU
 I’M LISTENING
 THIS IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY
 YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES
The C
omma
Chief nder
in
The The
Moral C ri ti c
i
The K st The ologist
now- h
It-All syc
P
The Co nsoler
The
Judge
“Kind words can be short
& easy to say, but their
echoes are truly endless.”
- Mother Theresa
Thank
You for
listening!

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WITH

 It takes place throughout the child’s

 Communicating with children

 Simply listening helps

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