Peer Leadership

PEER PRESSURE & BULLYING

 It’s hard to say “no”

 Questions for discussion
 Peer Pressure Quiz
 Put a Positive Spin on Peer Pressure
 Friendships, Peer Influence, and Peer Pressure During the Teen
Years
 Feeling Peer Pressure
 Peer Pressure Bag of Tricks
 Top 10 Refusal skills for teens
 Definition: School Bully
 Bullying is an Adult Problem
 My Heart Feels Your Pain (teaching empathy)
 IT’S HARD TO SAY “NO”

Objectives:

1. To look at a common problem that people face from childhood to adulthood.

2. To better understand what makes it so difficult to say no.
3. To look at acceptable ways to say “no”

Directions:

1. First, discuss what situations we all face where it’s hard to say “no” (sharing,
homework, studying vs. being with friends, going farther sexually than is
comfortable, drinking in social situations, borrowing clothes, iPods, etc.)
2. Then, select one of these situations and frame a role-play with one person
pressuring, several friends pressuring, and then someone of the opposite sex
pressuring.
3. Discuss the role-play.

Discussion questions:

1. What was the hardest thing about saying “no”

2. Which ways to say “no” are acceptable and make people want to back off?
3. What are we afraid of if we say “no” to our friends?
4. How do we feel about our friends who pressure us?
5. When are we most vulnerable to this kind of pressure? (when we are depressed?
Low self-esteem? Need to be liked? Etc.)
6. When do our parents have trouble saying “no”?
7. How do we feel when we ask for a favor or want a friend to do something with
us and he/she says “no”?
8. Share experiences where we did or didn’t say “no” and what it felt like. (Look at
feelings of guilt, regret, hurt, anger, as a result of not saying “no” in some
situations).
9. Is not saying “no” habit forming?
 QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

Is it possible to have friends that are very different from me – different backgrounds,
races, personality, interests, and values? What can make this difficult?

Have I ever experienced rejection? How do I handle being ignored, left out, or
rejected? Do I ignore or reject others?

Describe circumstances where we have felt left out or different from others, i.e., in the
classroom, at lunch, in the halls at school, at a party, shopping in town, at a restaurant
…

When you perceive that someone is in a group, what effect does that have on your
attitude about that person?

What kinds of groups are there at our school? How comfortable do we feel in these
different groups? What are the positive effects of groups? What are the negative
effects?

Are there groups of people who feel invisible in this society? Can anything be done
about this?

When have we been in situations where we wanted to say or do something but we

didn’t? What has stopped us?
 Peer Pressure Quiz
http://library.thinkquest.org/C0117922/activities/peerpressurequiz.htm

1. You're at the mall and you see one of your friends slip a pack of gum into his pocket.
You:

A) Decide that since he didn't get caught, what's the harm in stealing one for yourself?
B) Pretend you didn't see him.
C) Tell him that stealing is wrong and he should go put it back.

2. You're having a huge sleepover with a bunch of friends. While playing truth-or-dare,
you are dared to drink a can of beer. You:

A) Go for it! You can't back down from a dare.

B) Open the can but at the last minute you decide to say no.
C) Say no and try to change the activity.

3. While sitting at your lunch table, everyone starts making fun of one of your friends.
You:

A) Join in. Your friend won't find out and you might be mad fun of if you don't.
B) Sit there and eat your lunch.
C) Stick up for your friend. How would you feel if your friends made fun of you?

4. You really want to go to a party at your crush's house. Your parents said "NO WAY."
Your best friend says she will help you sneak out. What do you do?

A) Accept and start getting ready. What an awesome friend!

B) End up staying home but fight with your parents the whole time.
C) Stay home and make the best of it. Who knew you could have fun with your parents?

5. You're skating with some friends when one of them lights a cigarette. Do you:

A) Ask him for one- It looks cool.

B) Decline the offer. You don't need to smoke to have fun.
C) Give him a look of disgust as you go find other people to skate with.

6. Have you ever given in to a peer-pressure situation?

A) Yes
B) Maybe
C) No
 7. Would you ever drink before the age of 21?

A) Yes-I already have.

B) Maybe.
C) Definitely not.

8. It's Friday night. All of your friends are going to a party but you promised your dorky
cousin you would go to a movie with her. You:

A) Ditch your cousin- You want to have fun!

B) Go to the movie but meet up with your friends later.
C) Tell your friends a promise is a promise and go with your cousin.

9. Someone offers you weed. Your first reaction is to:

A) Say, "Sure!"
B) Shrug and say, "I don't know."
C) Say, "Absolutely not."

10. In history class, Jamie wants to look off your test. You:

A) Let him, because someday you might want to look off his.
B) Let him, but tell the teacher after class.
C) Cover your paper so he can't see it.

Peer Pressure Scoring

Mostly A's You have not learned to stand up to peer

pressure. You continually make bad
decisions because of other people's
influence on you. You need to decide who
you really are. Don't just go along with the
crowd.

Mostly B's You are still learning. Sometimes you make

your own choices, but sometimes you still
let other people pressure you. Instead of
just letting an issue pass by, try taking a
stand and tell everyone how you feel. You
will go a lot farther if you stand up for what
you believe in.

Mostly C's You know how to resist peer pressure. You

are comfortable with what you believe and
don't mind being different and not following
what is popular. Keep your strong morals
and your good choices. You will need them
as you continue through life.
 Put a Positive Spin on Peer Pressure

Where there are people, there will be peer pressure. And your classroom is no exception. However, while
we're used to thinking of peer pressure as something negative, it often has the potential to be a powerfully
positive force.

By leading students through some self-awareness activities, you can help create a group of peers who
value individualism, practice it in their own lives, and encourage it in others.

Peer pressure awareness activities

1. Define it *
Write the following definition on the board and then ask students to expand it by sharing their personal
experiences. Jot brief notes on the board that capture the students' examples.

Peer pressure: social pressure from members of your group to accept certain beliefs or act in certain
ways in order to be accepted.

2. Brainstorm it
Write the following questions as column headers on the board. Ask students to brainstorm answers to
each question. In the spirit of the subject (peer pressure), make it clear that all answers are acceptable –
students are not allowed to laugh or make negative responses to others' answers.

What evidence of peer pressure exists in this classroom? Possible answers might include
the way kids dress, the kinds of backpacks or notebooks they carry, where kids sit, or hairstyles.
How do kids communicate messages of peer pressure? Possible answers might include
giggling, talking about other kids, using put-downs, ganging up on someone, starting rumors,
leaving kids out, or laughing at someone.
How can peer pressure get kids into trouble? Possible answers might include by forcing kids
to do something they shouldn't just to be accepted, by excluding kids who may have good things
to contribute, or by setting up situations of "them vs. us" instead of teamwork or community.
When is peer pressure a good thing? Possible answers might include when it keeps kids out of
trouble, when it encourages kids to participate in healthy activities, or when it works toward
unification instead of divisiveness.

3. Summarize it
Based on the activities above, ask students to summarize peer pressure by completing the following
sentences. Write the sentences and students' answers on the board.

Peer pressure is POSITIVE when...

(Possible answers: it encourages kids to have healthy values, positive attitudes and actions, a
spirit of supportive teamwork, etc.)
Peer pressure is NEGATIVE when...
(Possible answers: it encourages kids to get into trouble, have bad attitudes, alienate other kids,
etc.)

http://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-management/peer-counseling/4737.html
 Friendships, Peer Influence, and Peer Pressure During the Teen
Years
Friendships are very much an important aspect of the teen years. Understanding the
nature of peer influence can help support youth as they enter into this period and follow
the path towards close friendships that are hallmarks of adolescence.

Maria R. T. de Guzman, Extension Adolescent Specialist

Facts About Friendships, Peers, and Adolescence

Effective Strategies for Coping with Peer Pressure
Summary
Selected References
Acknowledgment

Adolescence is a time when peers play an increasingly important role in the lives of youth. Teens
begin to develop friendships that are more intimate, exclusive, and more constant than in earlier
years. In many ways, these friendships are an essential component of development. They provide
safe venues where youth can explore their identities, where they can feel accepted and where
they can develop a sense of belongingness. Friendships also allow youth to practice and foster
social skills necessary for future success.

Nonetheless, parents and other adults can become concerned when they see their teens becoming
preoccupied with their friends. Many parents worry that their teens might fall under negative
peer influence or reject their families‟ values and beliefs, as well as be pressured to engage in
high-risk and other negative behaviors.

In actuality, peer influence is more complex than our stereotype of the negative influences from
friends. First, peer influence can be both positive and negative. While we tend to think that peer
influence leads teens to engage in unhealthy and unsafe behaviors, it can actually motivate youth
to study harder in school, volunteer for community and social services, and participate in sports
and other productive endeavors. In fact, most teens report that their peers pressure them not to
engage in drug use and sexual activity.

Second, peer influence is not a simple process where youth are passive recipients of influence
from others. In fact, peers who become friends tend to already have a lot of things in common.
Peers with similar interests, similar academic standing, and enjoy doing the same things tend to
gravitate towards each other. So while it seems that teens and their friends become very similar
to each other through peer influence, much of that similarity was present to begin with.
 Facts About Friendships, Peers, and Adolescence

Friendships that emerge during adolescence tend to be more complex, more exclusive, and more
consistent than during earlier childhood. New types (e.g., opposite sex, romantic ties) and levels
(e.g., best friends, cliques, and “crowds”) of relationships emerge, and teens begin to develop the
capacity for very close, intimate, and deep friendships.

The adult perception of peers as having one culture or a unified front of dangerous influence is
inaccurate. More often than not, peers reinforce family values, but they have the potential to
encourage problem behaviors as well. Although the negative peer influence is overemphasized,
more can be done to help teenagers experience the family and the peer group as mutually
constructive environments.

Facts about the teen-parent relationship during the teen years:

Parent relationships are not necessarily undermined by peer relationships. During

adolescence, relationships between parents and teens are more often re-negotiated rather
than rejected. During adolescence, teens become increasingly autonomous and take on
more adult roles. They also develop their own ideas and start mapping their own lives.
They begin to spend more time with and value their friends more than they used to. Thus,
it might seem as if they are starting to cut ties with parents and reject their ideals. In fact,
rather than cutting off ties, teens are just renegotiating the parent-child relationship. What
this means is that they are beginning to shift the relationship to incorporate their
increasing independence and maturity. As teens become more mature, the type of
relationship they have with their parents naturally begin to shift as the teen begins to
mature.
While it seems that teens are influenced by their peers, parents continue to be the
most influential factor in their lives. Despite fears parents have about their teens
rejecting their values and beliefs, parents continue to be of significant influence. Teens
report having political, religious, and general beliefs similar to their parents, and consider
their parents as being highly significant and influential in their lives. Positive
relationships between parents and teens also equip youth to have healthy relationships
with friends. Teens who have high quality relationships with parents also report having a
positive relationship with their peers.
Parent-adolescent conflict increases between childhood and early adolescence;
although in most families, its frequency and intensity remain low. Typically, conflicts
are the result of relationship negotiation and continuing attempts by parents to socialize
their adolescents, and do not signal the breakdown of parent-adolescent relations. Parents
need to include adolescents in decision-making and rule-setting that affects their lives.
Parents who continue to communicate with their teens, even when there are
conflicts, actually maintain closer relationships. While it might seem futile to talk to
teens when it leads to conflicts and disagreements, most teens continue to report having a
close relationship with their parents, and as mentioned earlier, they still report parents as
being a significant influence on their lives. So parents need to continue talking to their
teens and maintaining an open line of communication, rather than simply trying to avoid
disagreements.
Facts about peer friendships:

Teens often have multiple layers and groups of friendships. Unlike in childhood,
when friendships usually meant two or more close friends, teens often have multiple
friends and belong to multiple groups. They might have intimate and close relationships
with one or a handful of individuals, and might also belong to one or more „cliques‟ or
groups of friends that have similar demographics (sex, race, socioeconomic status),
orientation towards school, and other interests.
Peer friendships are dynamic. This simply means that peer friendships may change. For
instance, while teens can have friendships that are long term, they often move from one
clique to another, and they might develop new friendships and lose others.
Peers tend to choose those who are similar to themselves. Whether it is gender, age,
socioeconomic status, ethnicity, or interests, teens tend to gravitate towards those who are
more similar to them.
Peer friendships can be a healthy venue for positive youth development. Peer
friendships can be a safe place for youth to explore their identity, learn about social
norms, and practice their autonomy. Healthy friendships provide youth with social
support for dealing with some of the challenges of adolescence, and can also provide
youth with some of the most positive experiences during those years. Many teens report
having some of the happiest and most fun moments with their peers, likely due to shared
interests as well close relationships.

Effective Strategies for Coping with Peer Pressure

While the point has been made here that peer influence and peer pressure do not necessarily have
to be negative, peer pressure can lead youth towards unhealthy and unsafe behaviors. To
minimize the negative effects of peer pressure, youth, parents, school and community leaders
must come together to establish workable and effective strategies to guide teen behavior and to
support their transition from children to mature, responsible adults. Here are several strategies to
consider (partly based on Brown, 1990):

1. Nurture teens’ abilities and self-esteem so that they are equipped to foster positive
peer relationships and deflect negative pressures. Adolescents with positive self-
concept and self-worth will be less likely to be easily swayed to follow others‟ negative
influences. It is essential that these aspects of positive development should be encouraged
in youth.
2. Encourage positive relationships between significant adults and teens. Parents,
teachers, school counselors, other relatives and professionals should try to have
constructive and positive relationships with teens. These can serve as good models for
healthy relationships, and can be a venue through which the teens can feel valued and
where they can develop positive views about themselves. Youth should know that they
can go to these caring adults for help or advice about their peer relationships.
3. Encourage diverse relationships. Parents, teachers, community leaders, and clergy can
model appreciation for ethnic, gender, socioeconomic status, religious, and other
differences and support cross-group friendships. Schools and youth organizations can
assist by encouraging youth from diverse backgrounds to work and play together.
 4. Support parent education programs for families with teenagers. Parents need to be
better informed about the dynamics of adolescent peer groups and the demands and
expectations teenagers face in peer relationships. Information is available through various
sources including books, some parenting magazines, and other publications such as this
one. Keep your eye out for programs particularly targeted towards families and teen
issues that might be available. Seeking information is not a sign of weakness, and
showing interest in these issues might actually show your teens that you are concerned
about them.
5. Equip youth with the skills necessary to resist negative behaviors, as well as to make
good decisions. Teens will inevitably be confronted with situations where they will have
to make a decision whether or not to engage in certain behaviors, whether to give in to
peer pressure, and also to make other difficult decisions. It is essential that youth are
given the necessary skills to analyze the situation and make the appropriate decision. This
includes helping youth develop the skills for „costs vs. benefits‟ analysis — teaching
them to look at both the negative and positive sides to making a decision. For instance, if
being pressured to smoke, the teen should be able to think about what the possible desired
outcomes are (e.g., peer acceptance, looking “cool,” feeling excitement about trying
something new) with the possible undesirable outcomes (e.g., becoming hooked, the
health issues, smelling bad, the financial costs).
6. Teaching youth exit strategies or ways to say ‘no’ to negative pressures. It is best to
try to deal with peer pressure before it even happens. Talk to youth about potential
scenarios, and think through strategies together on how to deal with those scenarios if
they arise. This could be done by discussing hypothetical scenarios or even role-playing.
It is helpful to think about these things ahead of time rather than dealing with situations
as they occur or trying to recover after they happen.

Summary

During adolescence, peers play a large part in a young person‟s life even while the family
continues to be significant. In general, peer friendships offer youth with many positive
opportunities despite the negative connotations that peer relationships have to many of us. Peer
relationships are actually important for healthy development and essential for youth to develop
into healthy adults.

Nonetheless, peer relationships also have the potential to encourage problem behaviors.
Although the negative influence of peers is often over-emphasized, more can be done to help
teenagers experience the family and the peer group as mutually constructive environments. To
accomplish this, families, communities, churches, schools, 4-H and other youth groups can all
contribute to helping youth develop positive peer relationships, and deflect negative peer
pressures and influences.

http://www.ianrpubs.unl.edu/epublic/pages/publicationD.jsp?publicationId=837
 Feeling Peer Pressure

Lesson Objectives:
Students will be able to identify the aspects of peer pressure to which
they may be most susceptible.

Grade Level and Subject Area:

9-12: Health Education.

Materials:
Masking tape

Activities and Strategies:

Make a long line on the floor out of masking tape. Put a sign on one end that says "10:
Feel strongly for the issue" and a sign on the opposite end saying, "1: Feel strongly
against the issue." You may also want to put a sign with "5" on it in the middle of the
line.
Explain to the class the sometimes it takes a strong will and a lot of courage to go against
one's peers.
Ask for a volunteer to "take a stand" on a controversial issue. For example:

"The school should allow students to leave during lunch."

"A woman should be able to hold down ANY job a man can hold down in the
work place."
"This school should have uniforms."
"Teens shouldn't need their parents permission to buy CD's with explicit lyrics on
them."

Have the volunteer stand at the point on the line that indicates his/her position on the
issue.
Have the rest of the class try to pressure the volunteer into moving by making compelling
arguments for or against the issue. Encourage them to be persistent. Let them make
promises, etc.
After a few minutes, stop the class and discuss the activity.
o How did the volunteer change his/her mind?
o How did it feel to be under so much pressure?
o How did it feel to give the pressure?
o What arguments would convince you to move? Why?

This activity should be followed by information about decision-making and coping skills.

http://www.drugstats.org/tt/v3i3/peerpress.html
 PEER PRESSURE BAG OF TRICKS

*Don’t fall for one of these* …

Rejection: Threatening to end a friendship or a relationship. This pressure can be hard to resist
because nobody wants to lose friends. Some examples of pressure by rejection are:

Who needs you as a friend any way?

If you don't drink we won't hang out any more.
Why don't you leave if you don't want to drink with us?

Put Downs: Insulting or calling a person names to make them feed bad. Some examples of put
downs are:

You're never any fun.

You're such a baby.
You're such a wimp.
You're so uncool.

Reasoning: Telling a person reasons why they should try something or why it would be OK if they
did. (Nobody said these were good reasons.) Some examples of pressure by reasoning are:

It won't hurt you.

Your parents will never find out.
You'll have more fun.

Unspoken Pressure: This is something you feel without anyone saying anything to you. You feel
unspoken pressure if you want to do the same things others doing. Some unspoken pressure tricks
are:

The Huddle: A group of kids standing together in which everyone is talking and
maybe looking at something you can't see, laughing and joking.
The Look: Kids who think they're cool give you a certain look that means we're cool
and you're not.
The Example: A group of popular kids decide to get the same backpack and you
want one too.

http://www.thecoolspot.gov/peer_pressure5.asp
Top Ten Refusal Skills for Teens
Teaching Kids to Respond Assertively to Peer Pressure
Teens face many situations where others are encouraging them to do something risky, illegal, or
unhealthy. How can teens develop the ability to stand up for themselves?

Unfortunately, many teens wind up “going along” not because they want to, but simply because
they don‟t know how to respond in these situations. They are afraid of losing a friend, looking
uncool, or being left out of the crowd. The trick is to get kids to practice “saying no” in a variety
of ways and in a variety of situations, so they are prepared for anything.

Here are ten ways kids can reply to peer pressure. By learning a range of possible responses, kids
are more likely to be able to come up with one that fits the situation when the time arises. Role
play some typical situations with teens, and have them practice using each one. You will help
kids develop assertiveness skills as well as confidence.

1. Make a joke. Sometimes humor is the best way to respond to a situation, as it can lighten
a serious mood. It can also divert attention away from you and onto something else.
2. Give a reason why it’s a bad idea. Maybe you can‟t smoke because you want to be able
to run the mile for the track team. Maybe you don‟t want to drink because you know
someone who is an alcoholic and you can see how drinking has messed up their life.
Backing up your refusal with evidence gives it more power.
3. Make an excuse why you can’t. Maybe you have something else to do that will
interfere. Or you have to be somewhere at a specific time. Or your mom will kill you.
Whatever. But say it and stick to it.
4. Just say no, plainly and firmly. In some situations, just saying no without a lot of
arguing and explaining is the best response. Just make sure you‟re “no” is a strong and
determined one.
5. Suggest an alternative activity. Lots of kids wind up doing stuff they shouldn‟t because
they lack other options. They‟re bored. By thinking of something better to do, you‟re
offering everyone an “out.” You just might be surprised who might take you up on it.
6. Ignore the suggestion. Pretend you didn‟t hear it, and change the topic to something
else. Act like you don‟t think the idea was even worth discussing.
7. Repeat yourself if necessary. Sometimes it takes more than once, on more than one
occasion. Just because someone asks more than once, that doesn‟t mean you have to
cave.
8. Leave the situation. If you don‟t like where things are headed, you can take off. It might
seem risky, but with you leading the way, other kids who really don‟t want to do it either
just may follow you.
9. Thanks, but no thanks. You can be polite, but you still aren‟t interested. It just isn‟t
something you‟re into.
10. The power of numbers. Make a pact with your friends to stick to your guns. Often,
knowing that your friends will back you up can help you feel more comfortable being
assertive. Sometimes “we” feels stronger than “I”.

http://www.suite101.com/content/top-ten-refusal-skills-for-teens-a29626
 Definition: SCHOOL BULLY
Refusal (not inability) to think rationally about themselves and
others; Small scale Terrorist, with behavior mostly taking place
during school time; Justifies terrorist activities towards his/her
targets or victims with self-psychological excuses ("I want to appear
tough and in control");
Enjoys enforcing power on others and causing extreme fear;
Over-bearing person who tyrannizes the non-violent and
physically less strong;

To rule by intimidation, terror;

Threatens or acts violence on others; Calls an assault a "fight,"

"disagreement" or "justice."

New Legal Definition in NJ

http://www.njleg.state.nj.us/2010/Bills/A3500/3466_R1.HTM

A definition of harassment, intimidation, or bullying that at a minimum includes any gesture, any
written, verbal or physical act, or any electronic communication1, whether it be a single incident
or a series of incidents,1 that is reasonably perceived as being motivated either by any actual or
perceived characteristic, such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual
orientation, gender identity and expression, or a mental, physical or sensory disability, or by any
other distinguishing characteristic, that takes place on the property of the institution of [higher]
education or at any function sponsored by the institution of [higher] education1, that substantially
disrupts or interferes with the orderly operation of the institution or the rights of other students1
In our Schools…
Bullying is an Adult Problem
There Must be an Attitude of Change

By Brenda High, Director, Bully Police USA

Contrary to what many people believe, bullying is an adult problem, not a child’s problem. Adults are
entirely to blame for bullying in our schools because they do not stop it. Bullies bully because they can,
and because they can get away with it and adults decide when, and who will get away with bullying.

Bullying is not a “part of growing up” or even “boys will be boys” problem. Bullying is an adult believing
that its “part of growing up” and an adult believing “that boys will be boys”.

Adults who did not experience severe bullying may excuse a bully by saying, “Back in my day, bullying
was just something we all had to go through to make us tougher.” These adults show a lazy or
uneducated attitude towards bullying. The children under their care are living in a risky and unsafe
environment where bullying will be excused and tolerated.

Some others might say, “Back in my day, bullying wasn’t that bad.” There is some merit to this belief.
Thirty-five years ago, we did not have “classes” on how to bully, by way of violent television and movies,
raunchy comedy, sexually degrading pornography, violent video games and cyberbullying on the internet.

We adults need to change our attitudes about bullying. Whatever is unacceptable behavior in the adult
world is unacceptable behavior in a child’s world. If an adult were bullied at work, for example, there
could be repercussions for that type of behavior, which may include the bully being fired, disciplined, or
even a lawsuit. In addition, if the bullied worker chooses not to do anything, they could leave their job and
go to work somewhere else. Under the same conditions, could a bullied child have his or her bully fired
or easily decide to leave school? This has proven to be unlikely.

At some time in our life, we will all be touched by an act of bullying or the aftereffects of bullying.
Suicide, (“bullycide”), depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorders, serious emotional and
physical illnesses; these are just some of the things that can be caused from bullying. Bullying is leaving
a wake of victims, (who become bullying survivors), all over the country. In addition, many of these
survivors will suffer the emotional consequences of bullying all their lives.

Bullying and abuse in our schools will only be removed from our schools by the combined effort of many
concerned and compassionate individuals, through parental teachings, social education (inside the
classroom) and financial means.

Education is the key to every successful action we achieve in our individual lives, but when a group is
educated, they gain synergy in a powerful movement. Communities, teachers, parents and students
must build a consistent, planned program to educate schools and classrooms about the dangers of
bullying because all children deserve to go to school to learn in a peaceful and safe environment.

Some of the things we must do as educators and parents are to:

• Have a plan of action to educate students and communities about bullying
• Select programs to teach about the consequences of bullying
• Prepare students to react and take action when they see bullying
• Focus attention on good behavior – Seize the teaching moments
• Teach that bullying will not be tolerated
• Be consistent, persistent and diligent in the resolve to stop bullying
• Teach victims of bullying that they have the power to empower themselves, and
• Teach bullies that they have the power to change, thus empowering themselves

http://www.jaredstory.com/adult_problem.html