Finding Meaning in Life,

at Midlife and Beyond

Wisdom and Spirit
from Logotherapy

David Guttmann

Social and Psychological Issues: Challenges and Solutions

Albert R. Roberts, Series Editor
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Guttmann, David.
Finding meaning in life, at midlife and beyond : wisdom and spirit from logotherapy /
David Guttmann.
p. cm. — (Social and psychological issues : challenges and solutions, ISSN 1941-
7985)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-313-36017-6 (alk. paper)
1. Life. 2. Meaning (Philosophy). 3. Aging—Philosophy. 4. Aging—Psychological
aspects. 5. Existential psychology. 6. Logotherapy. I. Title.
BD435.G89 2008
128—dc22 2008020079
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data is available.
Copyright © 2008 by David Guttmann
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be
reproduced, by any process or technique, without the
express written consent of the publisher.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2008020079
ISBN: 978-0-313-36017-6
ISSN: 1941-7985
First published in 2008
Praeger Publishers, 88 Post Road West, Westport, CT 06881
An imprint of Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc.
www.praeger.com
Printed in the United States of America

The paper used in this book complies with the

Permanent Paper Standard issued by the National
Information Standards Organization (Z39.48-1984).
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is dedicated to Michal Yahalom, my partner for life, with a sense of
gratitude for all the help she has given me in preparing the manuscript. This book
is also dedicated to Mrs. Eleanor Frankl, Mrs. Frankl's family, and to the hundreds
of students and practitioners I was privileged to teach about social work, geron-
tology, ethics, and logotherapy in many parts of the world during my thirty years
of teaching, conducting research, and writing in the academe. I am glad to note
that many of them became leaders in their fields of practice and serve with dedi-
cation and devotion in various services for the aged and other population groups.
I also wish to dedicate this book to my children, family, and friends.
I wish to express my gratitude to the staff of the Library of Congress and the
University of Haifa, Israel, for their kind and helpful suggestions and guidance,
and for sharing their time and knowledge about using the most appropriate and
relevant resources for this book. Ms. Elizabeth Yodim assisted me generously with
the initial editing of this book before the submission to the publisher. My heart-
felt thanks are due to the late Professor Albert R. Roberts, Series Editor, for his
trust and encouragement. I am and will always be grateful to Professor Roberts.
His death is a tremendous blow and loss to the entire social work profession, to
his family and friends, and to me personally. He was particularly interested in the
subject of this book because of his love of logotherapy and because of a family his-
tory that was full of hardship. Despite his family’s hardship, he never lost interest
in pursuing education and in transmitting knowledge to others.
My heartfelt thanks are also due to Debora Carvalko at Greenwood Publishing
Group for all the help she has given me in the preparation of the manuscript for
printing, and especially to Susan Yates for the excellent professional work she did
in editing this book. I am truly grateful to all of you!
I wrote this book as part of a moral debt to my spiritual mentor and most
esteemed friend, the late Professor Viktor Emil Frankl. He was during his life, and
continues to be for me, a model of meaningful living in old age. Professor Frankl
often expressed his wish to see his “brainchild”—logotherapy—expanded into many
fields of science and therapy. I hope that with this book I have managed to fulfill his
wish. I also hope that anyone who reads this book will find in it helpful suggestions,
ideas, attitudes, and ways to make life meaningful in his or her second half of life.
This page intentionally left blank
 Contents

Introduction xiii
Meaningful Living as a Central Challenge in Life xiii
The Question about the Meaning of Life xiv
Uniqueness of This Book xiv
My Way to Logotherapy xvi

PART ONE. THEORETICAL AND PHILOSOPHICAL APPROACHES

TO MEANINGFUL LIVING

1. On Old Age That Steals on Us Fast 3

The Need to Find Meaning for the Second Half of Life 4
Meaningful Living 6
On the Shortness of Time 7
Ingratitude for the Generosity of the Aged 8
Lack of Respect for the Old 9
Why Aging Is Perceived as Troublesome 10
On the Necessary Renunciations in Old Age 11
viii Contents

2. Spiritual Development 13
Freedom of the Spirit as an Advantage in Aging 13
On Weakening of Bodily Strength and Lack of
Sensual Pleasures 14
The Best Defense against the Troubles of Old Age 15
Preparations for Old Age 16
3. The Search for Happiness 19
The Secret of Happiness 22
The Search for Happiness as a Search in Our Hearts 23
Living for Others as Happiness 24
4. Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 27
Psychology of the Heights 28
What Is Logotherapy? 29
Freedom of the Will 30
The Influence of Alfred Adler on the Development of
Logotherapy 32
Jung's Approach to Meaning in Life 33
What Life Demands from Me: Meaning of the Moment 35
Supra-Meaning and Mental Health 36
5. Guiding Principles of Logotherapy 41
The First Principle: Freedom of Will 41
The Second Principle: The Defiant Power of the Human Spirit 42
The Third Principle: The Three Human Dimensions 43
The Fourth Principle: The Human Spirit Is the
Healthy Nucleus in Each Human Being 44
The Fifth Principle: Man Can Rise Above and Beyond Himself 44
The Sixth Principle: We Have the Capacity for
Self-Detachment 44
The Seventh Principle: We Live in the Present
and Should Look Forward to the Future 44
Contents ix

The Eighth Principle: Each Man Is Unique and Irreplaceable 45

The Ninth Principle: Meaning Is Subjective and Changing 45
The Tenth Principle: The Meaning of the Moment 46
The Eleventh Principle: We Are Responsible for
Our Choices 46
The Twelfth Principle: Spiritual Tension 47
The Thirteenth Principle: Discovering Meaning in Life
Is Not a Gift, but an Achievement 48
The Fourteenth Principle: A Positive Attitude toward Life 49
The Fifteenth Principle: Happiness Is a By-Product
of Meaning in Life 49
6. The Courage to Be Authentic: Philosophical Sources
of Logotherapy 51
Nietzsche and Logotherapy 51
Freedom to Choose 53
The Courage to Be Authentic 54
On Following a Cloud 56
Pain, Boredom, and Happiness 56
Struggle for Saying “Yes” to Life 59
The Impact of Scheler on Logotherapy 61
Choosing One’s Unique Way in Life 63
Buber’s Philosophy and Influence on Frankl’s Logotherapy 63
7. The Concept of Meaning in Religion and Literature 65
Jewish Religious Attitudes toward Meaning of Life 65
Great Writers’ Attitudes toward Meaning in Life 68
8. Life as a Task 71
Importance of the Task 72
Personal Responsibility in Task Fulfillment 73
The Functional Dimension 75
x Contents

9. On Fate and Meaningful Living 79

Biblical and Literary Attitudes toward Fate 79
Fate in the Theory of Szondi 81
Szondi’s Scientific Work 83
Szondi’s Mental Picture of the Human Being 85
Logotherapy’s Approach to Fate 86
The Biological Fate 87
Psychological Fate in Logotherapeutic Perspective 89
Logotherapy’s Perspective on Sociological Fate 90
10. Despair as Mortal Illness in Aging 93
Despair as Mortal Illness 94
Despair as Failure of Development 95
Logotherapy’s Attitude toward Despair 96
Value Orientation and Meaning 97
Defense against Falling into Despair 98

PART TWO. APPLIED ASPECTS TO MEANINGFUL

LIVING IN OLD AGE

11. The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for Discovering

Meaning in Life 103
The Importance of Music to One’s Soul 104
The Therapeutic Power of Music in Old Age 105
Literature as Source of Joy and Meaning in Old Age 106
Love’s Many Faces in the Second Half of Life 108
Meaningful Intergenerational Relationships 109
Discovering Meaning in Old-Age Homes 111
12. The Importance of Humor and Laughter in Old Age 113
The Value of Humor in the Second Half of Life 114
Freud’s Attitude toward Jokes 116
The Joke as a Means for Survival 118
Approaches to Humor and Jokes in Logotherapy 119
Contents xi

13. Dealing with Guilt and Remorse 123

Guilt and Remorse 125
Guilt in Relation to the Fifth Commandment 127
Logotherapy’s Attitude toward Guilt 129
14. Coping with Loneliness 133
Loneliness among the Pre-Elderly 133
Loneliness among the Elderly 135
The Many Faces of Loneliness 136
Loneliness in the Literature on Aging 137
Jewish Perspectives on Loneliness 139
Loneliness in Special Groups of Elderly People 139
Programs for Alleviation of Loneliness in Old Age 141
Logotherapy’s Perspective on Loneliness in Old Age 142
15. A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 145
How to Accept Death? 146
Midlife as a Turning Point 147
Death as a Concept 149
Death According to Great Writers and Spiritual Leaders 149
A Logotherapeutic Attitude toward Death 150
Logotherapy’s Attitude toward Suicide 153
Euthanasia from a Logotherapeutic Perspective 155
Attitude toward Immortality 157
Bibliography 163
Index 169
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 Introduction

MEANINGFUL LIVING AS A CENTRAL CHALLENGE IN LIFE

Logotherapy concentrates on the age-old human quest to live a meaningful life.
Created by Professor Viktor Emil Frankl, author of the best-selling book Man’s
Search for Meaning, logotherapy means psychological and spiritual therapy by dis-
covering meaning in life. It combines psychological and philosophical attitudes to
life with a methodology that emphasizes a deep commitment to humanistic val-
ues, respect for human dignity and freedom of choice, and the right to choose and
form one’s life so that it will be meaningful for him or her and for the society in
which one lives.
This attitude to life emphasizes the importance of man’s spiritual dimension
and his quest for freedom, as well as personal responsibility for one’s decisions and
choices. Spirituality in its lay and religious sense is beyond the comprehension of
the human being. It flows from hidden internal sources, nourishes one’s soul and
identity, and helps one to accept life with understanding and willingness. Spiritu-
ality helps to cope with losses that characterize human life mainly in its second half.
Today close to half a billion people in the world are sixty-five years old or more,
and their numbers are growing steadily from year to year. In most developed
(industrialized) countries, the elderly and aged constitute on average from ten to
fifteen percent of the total population. The fastest growing group among these
people are those seventy-five years old and over. According to demographers,
gerontologists, and researchers in life sciences who study the subject of human
aging in the world, these percentages will grow even larger during the first half of
the twenty-first century and will have a dramatic effect on the welfare and well-
being of the aged and on the provision of care, services, supports, and benefits, in
terms of both quality and quantity.
xiv Introduction

In addition to the unprecedented growth of the aged population, longevity of life

is also growing. Today it hovers around eighty years in the West and even more in
Japan. Women enjoy a longer life span than men by five years on the average. How
to turn the years in the second half of life meaningful is getting more and more
critical for society and for each and every aging individual.

THE QUESTION ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE

The question about the meaning of life raises its head every time life reminds us of
the fact that we will live in this world for only a short time, even if we have the fortune
to live a hundred and twenty years, such as Moses in the Bible. This question returns
and surfaces anew in times of crisis. Each human being that experiences some loss,
becomes disabled due to sickness, accident, or act of terror, loses a beloved person or
a cherished ideal that gave purpose and meaning to his or her life, or is unwillingly laid
off work asks this same age-old question: What is the meaning of life? Each human
being raises questions that emanate from this first one: Why survive? Why suffer? Why
continue to live? Wouldn’t it be better to finish life, while I can still do so, instead of
continuing to suffer? Does life have any value at all when I will die in any case?
Questions about the meaning of life are characteristic not only of the old and
aged, who are naturally closer to death than the younger generations and wish to
know whether or not it makes sense to continue living when they are getting closer
and closer to death each passing day, but also of the young. Doubts about the wor-
thiness of life in this world full of dangers, violence, and aggression encompass all
social classes and not only the poor, the downtrodden, the unemployed, and the
sick. A life without meaning is a tragedy that can happen to the rich no less than to
the poor. Crises can and do happen to all of us, irrespective of our social and eco-
nomic standing in society. The crisis can center on a wide variety of factors, such as
political, economic, religious, and social problems, and can paralyze a man’s soul in
whole or in part, depending on the severity the individual or society attaches to it.
It is imperative to help a person find meaning in life when they are living in an
existential vacuum, which is a life without a clear purpose that would give it mean-
ing. This is a goal in which everyone should be interested, because the young of
today will be the old of tomorrow, and they too will face questions that press so
heavily on the present generation of elderly: What is the meaning of my life? Did I
do what was expected of me? Did I utilize the opportunities life threw in my lap?
Did I cope successfully with the changes life brought to me? Was I aware of the fact
that life has an end, that it is temporary, or did I waste the precious time given me?

UNIQUENESS OF THIS BOOK

Currently, successful aging is an art in itself, and each aging individual must
learn its basics. This art is based on the willingness of the person involved to fully
develop his talents and inborn capabilities hidden deep inside him—all the gifts
he received from life in order to gain the main meaning of life—to become a real
human being.
Introduction xv

My main purpose in writing this book is to spread knowledge of the concept

meaning in life among old and young people alike. I am convinced that we all need a
strong philosophical and practical outlook on life, one that will guide us in dealing
with the problems, difficulties, and crises that old age brings to most people. We must
be armed with an ability to choose a perspective on aging that will nourish our souls
and provide a spiritual anchor for facing and braving the vicissitudes awaiting us.
Another purpose for writing this book is to bring together the knowledge and
experience I have gained during decades of teaching logotherapy and gerontology
to students, practitioners, and the general public in many parts of the world. In
my encounters with people I saw how eager they all were to acquire the wisdom
and knowledge that has accumulated in both fields.
This book is different and unique in many respects from other books on aging.
It is different by virtue of the fact that it does not inundate the reader with statis-
tics. It does not deal with the subjects that one can usually find in most books in
gerontology, such as life expectancy, illnesses in aging, services for the aged, social
policy in aging, and so on. The differences between men and women in many
areas of life in old age are not emphasized in this book. These subjects often repeat
themselves endlessly. Thus there is a need to approach the subject of getting older
from a different angle.
The emphasis of this book is on the value and importance of having a philo-
sophical perspective on life in old age for meaningful living. Knowledge derived
from philosophy, psychology, religion, and gerontology is presented with case illus-
trations to give the interested reader both intellectual pleasure and practical guid-
ance. As far as I know, no other book on aging has both of these attributes, and no
other book provides a philosophical approach to meaningful living in old age.
This book can serve those who are already aged and the pre-elderly—people in
their forties, fifties, and sixties—equally well. This book can help them to make
the necessary preparations to strengthen their mental and spiritual powers, tal-
ents, capacities, and resources for what will inevitably come, the trials and tribu-
lations of life in old age. This book may also serve as an opportunity for new
learning in old age.
Learning is a value that was recognized by the sages of all times. Learning
affects not only the intellect but also the soul in the same way that forgetting does.
The changes that life constantly brings in its wake necessitate learning and study-
ing anew knowledge that has already been acquired in one way or another. Learn-
ing, as Socrates has said, is like being reborn.
I believe that my approach to getting older is one whose time has come. The
more technical and machine-based the world in which we live becomes, the
greater the danger is of losing its soul, and the greater the need is to strengthen
the spirits of the people. This book could help students, professionals, and fam-
ilies of the aged not only to acquire a new approach to meaning in life but also
to change their attitudes according to the spirit in which this book was written.
Gordon Allport writes in his introduction to Viktor Frankl’s Recollections: An
Autobiography (1997) that, according to a sentence attributed to Albert Einstein,
xvi Introduction

the scientist stands before a dilemma: Either he will write in a theoretical language
that is not open for laymen, or in a language that is popular yet superficial and
that could be understood by everybody. However, this is not necessarily so. The
obligation of the scientist is to write in such a way that both his colleagues and the
educated public could use it. This obligation is valid for our universal heritage in
literature, poetry, philosophy, and other treasures in the arts and sciences. I have
tried to surface many pearls of wisdom from all of these areas in the arts and sci-
ences about how to gain meaningful old age. My purpose was to offer a book that
would entertain and provide knowledge.

MY WAY TO LOGOTHERAPY
Life, according to the Nobel Prize winner writer Shmuel Joseph Agnon, is a
chain of meetings and departures. Each meeting contains many opportunities for
discovering meaning in life. In 1984 I had a fateful meeting in San Francisco with
Professor Viktor Frankl, my self-chosen spiritual mentor and since then beloved
friend. He has influenced me to devote my life to spreading his theory, logother-
apy, all over the world. Our wonderful friendship lasted until his death. This
friendship continues with his family to this day.
In our first meeting Frankl was eighty years old, yet judging by his energy,
enthusiasm, and youthful appearance, he could easily be mistaken for someone
who was twenty years younger. He was the epitome of his theory. He was wise,
witty, and above all had a sense of humor that enchanted me. Many years prior to
our meeting I read his book Man’s Search for Meaning, and I have used this impor-
tant book in teaching a course titled Human Behavior in the Social Environment.
This book had a deep impact on me and over ten million people who have read
it, and I wanted to meet its author. When we met, I felt that I was standing before
a unique personality, someone who could serve as a model for successful aging.
Frankl has been my guiding light for meaningful living in old age ever since.
 Part One

Theoretical and
Philosophical Approaches
to Meaningful Living
This page intentionally left blank
 1

On Old Age That Steals

on Us Fast

Gerontology is an area of scientific study of the aging process; a subject for teach-
ing at various levels in higher education and informal settings; a professional work
with individuals, groups, and communities; and the study of inter-generational
relationships between old and young in a given social, cultural, and emotional
environment.
As a relatively young science that has been developed especially within the past
four decades, gerontology intends to understand, help, and prevent problems
related to aging. Additional goals and objectives of gerontology are furthering the
health and welfare of the aged population, explicating the needs of the aged, and
offering ways to prepare for old age while in the middle of life.
Aging is an individual experience that each human being will experience if they
are fortunate enough to live a long life. In the industrially developed countries of
the world the majority of people enjoy an average longevity of eighty years. This
length of life was unheard of in earlier centuries. Even in the first half of the twentieth
century few people were fortunate to live this long. Despite this amazing longevity
of life, many people among the aging population are still not psychologically and
spiritually prepared for this period of life and negatively perceive old age without
realizing the value of the gift they received from life.
The question is when do we realize that we have arrived at old age? To be an
old man or woman is not a big deal. It is much more difficult to remain young in
old age. In western countries millions of people try to remain young by means of
cosmetics, plastic surgery, diets, and other artificial devices. However, as soon as
one wipes off the cosmetics from one’s face, looks into the mirror, and sees reality,
one begins to tremble because behind the youthful appearance hides a figure that
resembles more and more the picture of Dorian Gray.
People dependent on public opinion are willing to use anything to maintain
the illusion of youth. They reject aging as a natural phase of life and fight against

3
4 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

it unsuccessfully. They fight reason, logic, and biology. If they were more coura-
geous and could say “I am old”, they could get rid of their torment once and for
all. Alas, they lack the power to say such words. We can, of course, understand
them because in those countries to be old means being weak, useless, nonmain-
stream, and meaningless.
In a story by the French writer Guy de Maupassant (1850–93), a fifty-year-old
man dresses and behaves as if he were thirty. During a dinner the hostess intro-
duces her daughter, an attractive virgin fresh out of the monastery, to him. This
gentleman succeeds in seducing this girl and takes her to his home. On the way to
his bedroom, he looks at himself in the mirror, and the magic of the moment
vanishes at once. He sees himself as he really is; a man with dull gray hair, deep
black rings under his eyes, a bulging stomach and bent back, and he says to
himself, “You are a has been, my dear.” Now he is ready to forego the sought after
pleasure and escorts the girl back to her home unharmed.
Many other people accept their old age with pride. Throughout history we see
figures such as Plato, Voltaire, Goethe, Freud, Shaw, and Viktor Frankl, who in their
old age performed great artistic and intellectual deeds and have achieved lasting
fame. They should serve as models of successful aging for the young generations.

THE NEED TO FIND MEANING FOR THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE

If we could define aging by giving it a number in years, we would do well to
begin with the second half of life, at age fifty for men and women. This number
does not necessarily mean that each human being must be old at that age. Human
traits are different from one individual to another. However, this number can
symbolize a new phase in life that is open to new beginnings and new searches
after meaningful living. Most fifty-year-old people would not voluntarily accept
themselves as aged. This nonacceptance seems reasonable if aging is perceived as
renouncing life. But if aging is perceived as a period of life in which one can enjoy
life in all its richness and as a one-time only adventure, then aging could be
welcomed and even sought after.
Unfortunately few people think and behave this way. For example, a scientist
once decided to study the meaning of life. He took a randomly selected sample of
some 3,000 people, whose names and addresses he got from the phone book of a
large city, and sent these people a short letter containing one question: Why do
you live? He expected to receive answers from less than ten percent of the respon-
dents and was tremendously surprised when more than ninety percent responded.
Many wrote that they were living and waiting for their retirement. Others wrote
that they were living and waiting for the chance to take a trip around the world.
Some wrote that they were waiting for their children to grow up. Still others wrote
that they were waiting for something good to happen in their lives. In short, every-
body was waiting for something.
The scientist became very sad when he read these answers and said to himself,
“Isn’t it pathetic that all these people let life pass in waiting?” He wrote back to his
On Old Age That Steals on Us Fast 5

respondents, “The day is today! Dream if you wish, but do something to make
your dream come true! The day is today!”
The following story about Abe (a fictitious name as all other names used in
case illustration in this book from now on) is an example:
Abe, a man in his early sixties, came to me because he wanted treatment for the
emptiness that had come over him in the past few years. He told me that he had
been treated by various therapists and methods, including Chinese acupuncture,
without success. He was still waiting for something that would bring an end to his
suffering. He asked me suspiciously what method I used in my therapy; whether
I used psychoanalysis or behavior therapy. I smiled in return because I remem-
bered a story about Frankl. He had once been asked by a lecture participant to
explain in one sentence the difference between psychoanalysis and logotherapy.
Frankl said that he could do it, but first he wanted that person to explain to him
in one sentence the meaning of psychoanalysis. This participant said, “In psycho-
analysis the patient lies on a couch with the therapist behind his head, who must
hear at times many unpleasant things about the patient.” Frankl replied, “In
logotherapy the patient may remain sitting erect but he must hear things which
sometimes are very disagreeable to hear” (Frankl, 1962, pp. 95–96).
I said to Abe, “I use my own method.” He seemed perplexed and asked, “You
have no other method?” “No,” I said. “I try to adapt myself to the special needs of
the client. There are many methods in psychotherapy, but you can’t help one with
methods alone. But if you insist on a method then I tell you that I use logother-
apy.” I proceeded to briefly tell him the meaning of logotherapy. I said that in my
thirty years of practice I had learned to find my unique way and to understand the
client’s language and world of concepts because only then could I help someone
else find their unique way in life.
“Yes,” he said. “I heard something about Frankl and the concentration camps.
That’s ok with me.” He seemed relaxed and told me that despite his relatively good
physical, social, and economic condition, he felt that something was missing in his
life and could not find meaning and sense to his existence. He had circled the
globe twice and worked as a volunteer in various organizations, but he could not
find peace of mind. Something was missing and bothering him a great deal. I
recalled a story by the Israeli writer Agnon about an old tailor that had to make a
garment for the Lord. The garment was almost ready, but something was still
missing. “That something if it exists,” Agnon wrote, “then the garment is whole,
and if it is missing, then the garment is not whole.” That “something” means the
accomplishment of the whole; because only the whole gives meaning to what man
is seeking in his life.
The “something” that Abe was searching for was the meaning of his life. The
lack of this “something” is what made his life empty and miserable. He felt that
he was living in an existential vacuum without a clear purpose and goal. I told Abe
that I could help him if he was willing to work hard and make some sacrifices.
“What is it?” he asked. “What you feel is really important for you,” I said. He was
disappointed. “I thought that you would give me something else, perhaps some
6 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

advice.” “I don’t have such things,” I said. “In logotherapy we don’t believe in the
concept of instant therapy. There are no shortcuts. Man must work hard on
himself to gain the necessary change. Logotherapy,” I said to Abe, “is based on
choice and responsibility, and these belong first of all to the client. The therapist
can only help. He cannot make a decision instead of the client, for the client is the
one who carries the responsibility for his choices and for his fate. If you want to
live a meaningful life now, instead of living in the past, you must make an effort.
First you should think about what activity is the most meaningful for you. After
you invested your energy and soul in this effort, and made your discovery, then
you are free to discuss the ways how to achieve your goal.” Abe replied, “Do you
mean that I have to change my habits; for example, to forego getting up late in the
morning and spending hours in a café and many other things like these?” “It
depends on you,” I said. “You don’t have to change a thing if you don’t want to.
You may stay in your misery and feeling of emptiness.” “Good,” he said. “I will
consider your words. What do I owe you for this session?” “You don’t owe me a
thing,” I said. “You owe only to yourself.”

MEANINGFUL LIVING
What is meaningful living in the second half of life? How can we attain it?
Can it be achieved by anybody or only by those with special qualities? Can we
teach ourselves and others how to attain it? These questions are not at all new
and original. They have existed since the dawn of human history and have occu-
pied the thoughts of almost everybody, particularly philosophers, writers, and
poets. These questions usually become stressful when it is rather late, when peo-
ple are deep into old age. They are tied to the concept of the good life and
human happiness.
Living a good life has always been the expressed wish of all people. Each of us
has a vague idea of an overall goal in our lives. This goal was expressed by the
ancient Greeks from the times of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle, and up to the times
of the Roman philosophers in the ancient Greek concept of eudaimonia, which is
usually defined as happiness. This is the aim of all human pursuits, or the highest
goal that a person can achieve by his or her actions, even in old age.
This idea was particularly well expressed by the famous Roman philosopher of
antiquity, Marcus Tulius Cicero, in his delightful little book titled De Senectude or
On Old Age (1909), which he wrote in 45 BCE. Cicero elected to present his philo-
sophical attitude to meaningful living in old age through Marcus Porcius Cato, a
character he took from Roman history. Marcus Porcius Cato, “the Elder” and
Roman Senator, became famous in history for his oratorical skills. He used to end
each of his speeches in the Roman Senate with the words “And Carthage must be
destroyed.”
According to Cicero, Cato lived for eighty-four years, an unusually long life in
those days. Until his death he retained all his physical and mental powers, and did
not think about his impending death. Thus he became a role model for the youth
On Old Age That Steals on Us Fast 7

in Rome and continues to serve as such for the aged of today, especially for those
who are afraid of the nuisance of old age and death.
Similar opinions about old age and the shortness of life were held by the
Roman philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca, perhaps the greatest among the
Stoics. He was born in 4 BCE. and died in 65 CE. Seneca was commanded to
commit suicide by Emperor Nero on a false charge. He had a difficult life full of
disasters and losses, but he never succumbed to the twists and turns of his fortune.
He kept his stoic attitude toward life (of which more will be said later) until his
last moment, saying, “Never did I trust Fortune (the goddess), even when she
seemed to be offering peace. All those blessings which she kindly bestowed on
me—money, public office, influence—I relegated to a place from which she could
take them back without disturbing me” (Botton, 2000, p. 99).

ON THE SHORTNESS OF TIME

Seneca was deeply impressed by the philosophy of Cicero. He said that
humans falsely accuse nature of giving them a short life unlike other creatures.
The truth is that our lives are not short at all, but we shorten them by our own
hands and waste our time without giving an account to ourselves, as if our lives
are infinite and death has no rule over our existence. Life is long enough and
sufficient for doing the most meaningful tasks if we use time wisely. Whoever
wastes his time will perceive life as a passing moment even if he lives a hundred
years. Living means understanding the value of life. The lingerer and the delayer
waste their time in idle thoughts about the future without thinking about the
present.
Many people begin to live their lives when the end is near. Chronological age
does not guarantee a long life. It is only a reminder of the fact that one exists a
long time. It resembles a man whose ship has been hit, instead of sunk, in a storm
and tossed around in circles by the waves. He thinks that he has traveled a long
way, but in reality he has only been going in circles. Such people note how quickly
time passes only when they are in mortal danger. In these dangerous situations
they are willing to make any monetary sacrifice to lengthen their lives, but in other
situations they use time as if it were a commodity that can be replaced any minute.
Because time passes quietly and swiftly, many people mistakenly think that it is
possible to postpone preparations for their coming old age. No wonder, therefore,
that most people arrive at their old age as children—not ready, as if they bumped
into it not realizing its nearness.
“Life consists of three parts,” said the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca.
“What has been, what is now, and what will be.” Of these three parts only the past
is secure, outside the control of fate, and unable to be hurt. What is, meaning the
present, is always short and passing. If a man constantly occupies himself he will
have no time left for mental tranquility.
If you wish to know how short life was for those who wasted their time on
superfluous matters, for those who kept piling up more and more riches, pleasures,
8 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

power and similar earthly goals, look and see how desperately they wish to
lengthen their lives. Many such people try to cheat time by all kinds of lies and
harmful behaviors and cling to an illusionary image of youth as if it were possible
to cheat time. They wail that they did not live long enough because they did not
have the time to accomplish their dreams or enjoy the fruits of their efforts. But
those who were wise to keep watch on the passing of time and did not waste it are
not afraid of the finality of life. They march calmly toward the finish. The life of
the wise is long in terms of time because he can live hundreds of years in literary,
philosophical, scientific, and religious creations. He is not limited as those people
who always chase after honor, power, success, and riches. The wise can always
meet good friends who have passed long ago through the great works they left
behind. The wise can always engage in discussions with these people and enjoy
their wisdom. These discussions and wisdom give the wise pleasure that is much
greater in value than all those material and earthly matters.

INGRATITUDE FOR THE GENEROSITY OF THE AGED

Too few literary creations use old age as their topic. In folklore, for example,
old age is not worthy of mentioning. Most children’s stories end with the young
living “happily ever after” to the end of their life as if they would never grow old.
In many poems old people are compared to winter in which the leaves fall and the
flowers of summer whither away. Winter hushes the songs of the birds, envelopes
the heart in sadness, and freezes joy of life for the old.
Among the old people that literature has immortalized are Shakespeare’s King
Lear and Balzac’s Father Goriot. Both of them are sad heroes that one can only
pity. Forgotten by their children, they fight against their physical decay and emo-
tional terror. They live a life of misery and want, poverty and lack of sustenance.
All of their decisions serve as a warning of how not to get old! Both of them are
illustrations of society’s perception that aging is a calamity. King Lear and Father
Goriot show us what happens to foolish old men that divide their wealth and
means among their children long before their end and the price they pay for the
illusion of being loved by their children.
In Shakespeare’s play King Lear, the naïve king divides his entire wealth among
his daughters long before his old age and death, and pays dearly for his mistakes.
He trusts in the love of his daughters, but finds himself prey to poverty, destitu-
tion, and desperation.
Father Goriot, the hero in Balzac’s book, is an old and sick man. He lives in a
poor neighborhood in Paris at a cheap hotel for the downtrodden. Earlier in his
life he was a rich industrialist who made his fortune during the French revolution.
When his wife died, he spoiled his two daughters. He gave them a good and
expensive education, married them to young noblemen, and gave his wealth to
them. The only thing he asked for in return was human kindness. The daughters
were ashamed of their father’s poor background. They compensated their father
by severing all connections with him.
On Old Age That Steals on Us Fast 9

Father Goriot in his hurt and despair left his business and went to live in that
poor neighborhood in Paris. He gradually lost his fortune, and he even sold his
last pieces of value to help his daughters pay for the losses of their husbands.
When he became gravely ill, he asked to see his daughters. One of the heroes in
the book, who lived in the same hotel, was sent to call the daughters to see their
father before his death, but they shamelessly refused to see him.
These two masterpieces deal with intergenerational relationships. Despite the
historical distance between these two great writers—Shakespeare lived from 1564
to 1616 and Balzac from 1799 to 1850—it seems as if the generations continue to
behave in the same way. Children rob their parents and exploit the fact that old
folks are willing to pay any price for the right to love them. Although King Lear in
Shakespeare’s story finally receives real love from one of his daughters, the father
in Balzac’s story, who sacrificed his entire wealth in order to make his daughters
happy, is treated ruthlessly. Balzac’s story comes to an inhuman climax when the
daughters refuse to listen to the plea of the man sent by their father to come to his
deathbed and do not participate in his funeral.
Today we witness the cynical exploitation of many old people, especially those
who in their naivety behave as King Lear or Father Goriot. Despite the progress
made in some welfare states in caring for the rights and well-being of old people,
the family remains the most important informal support system for the old.
Congress can make no laws about kindness, love, dignity, and honor for old folks.
It cannot demand or command society to give emotional support and care to its
aged members. Beyond the care of family, each person who has not reached the
second half of life must make preparations for his or her old age in order to live
comfortably and in security when the time comes. This is possible if the young
understand that they have to save for the hard times, which include paying insur-
ance fees for health care in the future and ensuring their rights to decent care in a
nursing home.

LACK OF RESPECT FOR THE OLD

It is told of the king of Lydia, an important kingdom in ancient Greece, that
when he was old and weak he traveled with his company to visit a city far from his
capitol. The road went through a thick forest. Suddenly a ferocious lion jumped
out of the bush with a tremendous roar and approached the company of the king.
The king’s frightened escort ran away trembling, and the king was left alone to
face the lion. When he was about to be devoured by the beast, two young lads
appeared and slewed the lion. When the king regained his voice, he blessed the
young men and wished for them to die when young.
This story illustrates that old age was hard in antiquity even for a king—even
if he did not have to suffer from hunger and cold as so many old people do in our
days. The story also hints at the fact that when one gets old those who are sup-
posed to take care of the king and provide security for him leave him to his fate,
food for the lion. The latter symbolizes the forces of nature that overwhelm the
10 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

old man and threaten to devour him. The king is left defenseless against these
forces. He is too weak to defend himself. Old age is too burdensome and the lion
is about to swallow him. This is why he gives that blessing to his saviors.
What bothers today’s aged more than the length of life is the lack of respect for
the aged by younger generations in many parts of the world. In the industrialized
societies in particular, and even in the developing countries, the position of the
old has deteriorated, and they are no longer perceived as the wise men or women
in society. In earlier times respect for the old was regulated by religious and moral
needs, as in the Fifth Commandment in the Bible. Even in the society of the
ancient Hebrews that commandment entailed a reward, long life for those who
fulfilled it, meaning that people had to be induced to adhere to this precept.
The respect accorded the old was based on the recognition that they possessed
life experience and knowledge that was superior to that of the young. The respect
was also based on the need for the old in certain occupations, such as arts and crafts,
matters of family life, and in educating and advising the young. Today these func-
tions are no longer necessary in our highly technological societies, and such knowl-
edge is no longer recognized as a prized possession of the old. On the contrary, they
have difficulty in keeping up with the rapid development in every field of science
and technology, especially in electronics and computer-based technologies.
What bothers the aged in particular is connected to the devaluation of former
traditions and norms. To be young, healthy, beautiful, and possibly rich, was most
likely a human quest even in traditional societies, but today youth is overvalued.
Consequently, many old people feel themselves unneeded and valueless in society.
They have lost what can never be replaced: their youth and vitality. Many old peo-
ple try desperately to cling to their lost youth by dieting religiously, exercising, and
applying cosmetics. Many old people fail to accept the fact that time has passed
and the future awaiting them is getting exceedingly short and frightening. There-
fore each old person must decide how to spend their remaining years: whether in
self-deception and in a compulsive holding on to what used to be, even when this
feels impossible, or in accepting the inevitable, the coming losses and weaknesses,
but also the new possibilities that are still open for finding meaning in life.
Many old people forget that they are first of all spiritual beings whose happiness
and real wealth is measured in spiritual, emotional, and intellectual gains. The soul
is the central factor in the life of each old person because the soul never ages.
Although the body ages and declines, the soul remains young and continues to
develop. True success in life is measured by spiritual yardsticks. Such success means
giving to others, loving, sharing, and finding deeper meaning in everything we do.

WHY AGING IS PERCEIVED AS TROUBLESOME

Let us go back to Cato, as told by Cicero, who tells the young Romans seeking
his advice that there are four reasons why aging is considered the most trouble-
some of the three phases of life: childhood, adulthood, and aging. The first reason
is that it prevents us from continuing to engage in activities that we were used to
On Old Age That Steals on Us Fast 11

doing. The second reason is that it weakens the body. The third reason is that it
deprives us from enjoying all the bodily pleasures; and the fourth reason is that it
is close to death.
It is interesting to note that in the past 2,000 years or more no real changes have
occurred in the perception of aging as the most difficult and troublesome of the
eight phases of life (Erikson, 1964; 1968). In 1975 the first survey about the
attitudes of Americans to old age was published by the Gallup Poll. Its title was
The Myths and Reality of Aging in America. Of the 4,254 respondents only two per-
cent chose the sixties and seventies in a person’s life as the best years, and one-
third of the respondents claimed that these are the worst years for them.
As for the first reason why aging is troublesome, Cicero noted that those who
deny the opportunities of the aged to do something great do not contribute much
to clarifying this question. They resemble those who claim that the captain of the
ship makes no contribution to its sailing. While the sailors are busy in all kinds of
maintenance work that is necessary for sailing, the captain sits calmly and holds
the steering wheel or helm. Although the captain is not doing physical work, his
role is much more difficult and important than the role of the crew because he is
guiding the ship and is responsible for its course and purpose.
Among the virtues that are characteristic of old age is mental tranquility. Many
people and most philosophers perceive this as the greatest virtue of old age. The
wisdom, steadiness of character, and right judgment that Cicero speaks about
through Cato, are the actual and realistic expressions of that tranquility. It enables
the old to have more patience toward themselves and others and to accept people
as they are. This does not mean, however, that we must accept every bit of non-
sense and show weakness in our old age. It means a correct judgment of what is
and what is not possible to do or to gain. When people approach reality calmly,
they usually become more evenhanded and objective.
Seneca saw similar traits in calmness and mental tranquility and emphasized
that these are particularly important in old age. According to Seneca, lack of calm-
ness, inability to concentrate on one thing or on one activity, and the need for
constant changes are due to a lack of satisfaction with one’s self. He advised his
friend Serenus that to combat his inability to relax he must trust himself and work
because nothing is more dangerous to a person than idleness.
Another virtue available to the old is a person’s ability to love somebody. This love
requires less selfishness and the ability to not take ourselves too seriously. We could
also add that we should be grateful for the life we have already had, for the life that is
perhaps ahead of us, and for everything we have received. We must learn to relinquish
many things so that the greatest renunciation, life itself, will not surprise us.

ON THE NECESSARY RENUNCIATIONS IN OLD AGE

Aging requires us to make a choice. We can choose one of two ways of
responding to a renunciation: either we perceive it as a loss and obsessively hold
on to what is being lost, therefore increasing our suffering, or we accept it with
12 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

understanding and love because we know that it is inevitable. Two other virtues
in old age are modesty and lack of demands. If these two virtues are developed,
the old person will be respected because instead of getting into arguments about
what is lost and why, one can concentrate on giving something meaningful to
oneself and to society.
As we age, we must learn to thank life not only for what it gave us so far but
also for what is in store for us in the future. Gratefulness warms the heart and
opens the door to a good feeling. We should be grateful for all the memories and
for memory itself that is able to raise pictures and scenes from the past. These can
flood one’s soul with feelings of happiness.
This attitude to life was echoed some 1,800 years later by Schopenhauer. He
was a philosopher who said that we must repeat what we have learned, reflect on
the past, and raise it repeatedly to prevent its sinking into the depths of forgetful-
ness (Schopenhauer, 2001, p. 209).
When one reaches old age, one should take an inventory of his life. An old
person should do a great cleaning job, preferably once a year, to get rid of all the
superfluous junk that has accumulated so far, such as all the envy, desires for
power and control, arrogance, conceit, hatred, and childish attitudes. This is the
right time to say good-bye to all the excess baggage. Many times people say,
“We can’t take it along in the after life,” but, as the saying goes, there is a great
distance between what is said and what is done. Saying good-bye to this excess
baggage permits one to live one’s life with meaning. It enables one to choose what
is meaningful over what is no longer needed. Beginning with the second half of
life, we must learn to voluntarily leave behind objects, social status, and roles.
After age fifty one should heed the following advice: it is far better to enjoy and
be happy with what one has achieved by his or her own effort than to poison one’s
soul and life by lamenting over what one will never get. The maturity of a fifty-
year-old is being able to see the world as it is, in a new way and a new light—
instead of the fog that has engulfed one’s vision because of envy, yearnings, fears,
and obligations. Thus one can learn an age-old truth: by being capable of
renouncing everything, we will get everything (Nagy, 2000).
 2

Spiritual Development

FREEDOM OF THE SPIRIT AS AN ADVANTAGE IN AGING

One of the advantages of old age is the spiritual freedom that can be acquired
when people are willing to invest the necessary effort. It is a well-known maxim
that nothing is given free in life, except a mother’s love to her child. We need to
train ourselves to be ready to discover meaning in life even in old age.
Spiritual freedom means less preoccupation with mundane matters and more
involvement with what makes us spiritual beings created in the image of God.
This freedom deepens the works of great artists, whose works have become more
meaningful because their aging has brought greater maturity and wisdom. They
usually are less interested in glorifying themselves, less drawn by their immediate
instincts and urges, and more willing to make sacrifices to accomplish something
meaningful. Spiritual freedom also means greater willingness to be frank and
honest with one’s self, less escape to illusions, and acceptance without mercy of
one’s faults and shortcomings.
There are several advantages to aging. Long life widens the opportunities for
active living. The length of time lived permits one to develop and to refine one’s
talents and capabilities. It provides opportunities for sharing intellectual and
material achievements with the younger generations.
Spiritual freedom means awareness of individual responsibility for one’s deeds,
good and bad. Personal responsibility is expressed in the wise use of time and
resources for the benefit of society. An old man or woman should not become a
burden to others. It is important to adopt a healthy lifestyle and to refrain from
using substances harmful to one’s health. Old people can change their behavior
and habits—if they are willing to make the necessary effort. Change is open to
everyone at any age as a human characteristic. Human beings must learn to
change and adapt to the demands of life at each phase of development.

13
14 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

When a person approaches old age, he or she should get rid of the illusions that
were an integral part of the younger years. This act is painful but necessary. It is hard
to say to ourselves that we were wrong, that we made mistakes. We must realize what
is beyond our strength. This learning is the last opportunity to get rid of all kinds of
disappointments, envy, and hatred. When old people free their heart from these
destructive elements, they can achieve a higher level of existence. Then they can look
upon the world as it is, without envy, without sadness, without prejudice, and enjoy
it to the fullest—despite its many shortcomings. Old people should learn to smile at
life from the depth of their souls as a testimony to their inner peace.
The life of the great artist Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) can serve as an
illustration to what has been said above. He lived ninety-two years, and during his
long life he went through many changes that enhanced and enriched his art: as a
young student he painted in the classical style of the great artists from the
sixteenth century. In the beginning of the twentieth century he lived his “blue
period” and afterward his “pink period.”
In the 1920s Picasso was active in the cubist movement, and when the Fascists
and Nazis came to power in Italy and Germany he began to paint in surrealistic
and expressionistic styles. His fame and fortune grew with his aging. A testimony
to his many talents can be found at his birthplace in Spain in the museum that
houses his artistic creations.
Not every aging person is an artist, a writer, or a politician whose life can serve
as a model for others. Ordinary people can also lead satisfying and rich lives if
they keep an open mind and adopt practical wisdom.
As we age, we need to learn how to refrain from taking unnecessary risks. Each
task or role offered to an aged person requires careful thought about the positives and
negatives involved. Wise old people, for example, do not wait until their eyesight is so
weak that they cannot see road signs or until their reflexes are so slow that they
cannot respond quickly to sudden changes in traffic in order to refrain from driving.
The wise person listens to good advice, takes into consideration the feelings of
others, such as the feelings of his family and kin, accepts and understands that he
or she cannot remain young and independent forever, and is willing to live with
the limitations that time and environment expect from him or her. The wise
person does not try to escape into illusions. The noted psychologist Carl Gustav
Jung, in Memories, Dreams, and Thoughts (1997), wrote about his old age in the
following way: “I am satisfied with the way my life was structured. It was rich, and
I gained a lot. How could I think that I would get so much? Everything that
happened was things that I could not foretell” (p. 450).

ON WEAKENING OF BODILY STRENGTH AND LACK OF

SENSUAL PLEASURES
The reason old age is considered troublesome for many people is that it is tied
to the weakening of bodily strength. Cato has something important to say in this
regard. Cato tells his listeners that old people should use what capacities they still
Spiritual Development 15

have in whatever they do with all their might. Old people can remain active and
nobody will prevent them from continuing to exercise their powers of intellect
even in extreme old age. They still have enough strength to teach the young, to
train and equip them for the duties of life.
Failure of the body’s strength, Cato tells the young, is more often caused by the
vices of youth than those of old age. A dissolute and intemperate youth hands
down the body to old age in a worn-out state. Cato advises the young to enjoy
their bodily strength when they have it, and when it is gone they should not wish
it back. It is important to stand up to old age and compensate for its drawbacks
by making an effort. We must fight it as we should an illness, for our bodies are
like lamps: unless you feed them with oil, they too go out from old age. “The body
is apt to get gross from exercise; but the intellect becomes nimbler by exercising
itself ” (Cicero, 1909, pp. 56–58).
Is it true that old age lacks all sensual pleasures? Cato replies that not only the
body but also the intellect must be supported. Old people can have lots of pleasure
from modest festivities, pleasant discussions and conversations with friends, and
drinking and eating together with people of all ages, but these activities must be
done in modesty and with restraint.
Cato prefers the intellectual pleasures to the physical or bodily pleasures as
being more appropriate for the elderly. He praises in particular the pleasures of
the farmer, which are not marred by any degree of old age because they deal
with the earth and its productiveness, the planting and growing of vines. The
production, cultivation, and growth process of grains, vines, vegetables,
flowers, and fruits that grow in the garden or in the orchard can be observed
and controlled to a certain degree, and can give more pleasure than all bodily
enjoyments combined. These pleasures are available to many old people even
today.
Cato emphasizes that neither white hairs nor wrinkles can at once claim
influence in themselves; it is the honorable conduct of earlier days that is
rewarded by possessing influence in the last days (Cicero, 1909, p. 69). Both old
and young people today should take this advice to heart. There are aged people
who get fretful, ill tempered, disagreeable, and avaricious. Cato stresses the point
that these behaviors are the faults of character, not of the time of life, meaning
old age. These faults are often the result of neglect, lack of respect, and the
mocking of the old by the young. However, they can be softened by good
character and good education.

THE BEST DEFENSE AGAINST THE TROUBLES OF OLD AGE

Cato’s advice to the young to get passionately involved with life and to escape
preoccupation with death is as relevant today as it was in his days. The best
defense against the troubles of old age is active exercise of the virtues. If the virtues
have been maintained at every period of life the harvest they produce is wonderful
(Cicero, 1909, p. 48).
16 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

The words of Cicero, via Cato, with all their beauty of speech, richness of
expression, poetic and literary strength, and wisdom, do not suffice for old people
living in the modern world to know how to prepare themselves for their old age.
They need knowledge drawn not only from philosophy but also from many other
areas of life. They need knowledge that science and technology can provide them.
But they also need knowledge beyond what is known and has been proven scien-
tifically in the modern age. They need knowledge about the mystic of existence.
A virtuous life, according to Cato, is only part of the best defense against the
troubles of old age. There are many factors in addition to moral virtues that
presently make life more tolerable in old age. Chief among these factors is the
machinery at home and outside that helps old people in their washing, eating,
mobility, housework, and so on, thus making life relatively easy for most old
people and accounting, in part, for increased longevity.
Advances in medicine and pharmacology to fight diseases and ailments
associated with aging and the availability of knowledge about sanitation, hygiene,
nutrition, physical exercise, sports, and use of leisure time, all contribute to the
well-being, comfort, and ease of a growing number of old people, especially in the
industrialized parts of the world.
Today there are many opportunities for old people to remain active,
productive, and useful to society long after retirement, whether as paid workers or
as volunteers. Old age subsidies and benefits given by the social security
administrations of many countries now make the burden of living easier for more
millions of old people than in any other historical era, even if there is a long way
to go before a dignified old age will be assured for all.

PREPARATIONS FOR OLD AGE

To the advice given by Cato to the young in ancient Rome we may add ten
commandments that modern gerontology has developed. These are geared toward
achieving meaningful living in old age and, briefly stated, are the following: secur-
ing the necessary economic resources; safeguarding the waning physical, mental,
and intellectual capacities; selecting the right time for retirement; strengthening
social relationships to prevent loneliness; setting aside time for sports and exercise;
selecting an option for meaningful work or occupation; securing sufficient knowl-
edge about the use of modern technology; satisfying scientific curiosity and contin-
uing one’s education; satisfying the need for warmth, kindness, and sexual
relationship; and serving society, rather than withdrawing from life.
These commandments are expressions of our human quest for security in old
age. They reflect basic human needs in every part of the globe, and they are
relevant and necessary for all old people in the historical times in which we live.
We can imagine different scenarios in our lives, such as our aging, and we are able
to take steps to prevent the problems that are likely to happen in our old age as the
life experiences of previous generations have taught us. Many people are making
wise preparations for their future aging, especially in economic terms, which is a
Spiritual Development 17

relatively easy thing to do if one begins it in the young adult years. These
preparations generally include savings and insurance plans, and indemnities
against illnesses, accidents, disabilities, and loss of life. There are others who
maintain regular annual check-ups, eat healthy foods, refrain from smoking and
from addictive or dangerous substances, exercise and engage in sports regularly,
and think that they are making all the necessary preparations for their old age.
Although all the above preparations for old age are important and good, they
are insufficient in themselves to provide a meaningful old age. If we do not make
preparations for the time of the empty nest when the children are grown up and
live away from home, we may pay a heavy price. The freedom that is sought after
eagerly and suddenly arrives and is accompanied by an uninvited guest—the fear
of emptiness. What previously gave sense and purpose to life has left. The routine
order of daily life people were used to for decades has disappeared, and they are
left with many empty hours.
There are aging people who sink into self-pity and reproach themselves, saying
things such as “If I only were wiser” or “if I only did” so and so. And many others
fall into depression or despair. Still others escape into passivity, become addicted
to the television, refrain from mental activity, and accept their fates as a matter of
fact. People whose lives centered only on daily routines, and who made no effort
to combat this monotony or to go out into the wider world with its abundance of
opportunities will find it difficult to make the necessary changes. They may
erroneously think that it is already too late, and then they may find themselves
succumbing to the inevitable. These are, alas, wrong and unhealthy ways of
behaving that attest to a lack of preparation for their old age.
Each life event that happens without preparations hurts a lot. Whoever is
caught by life unready risks negative results that could drive one to depression.
Sometimes old age literally pounces upon a man, as it did upon Abraham in the
Bible when he lost his wife and therefore his shield against old age.
When one reaches fifty, if not much earlier, one should begin to make
necessary preparations for one’s old age in three dimensions—physical,
psychological, and spiritual, in its religious and secular sense—so that aging will
not pounce upon one unprepared. This is the right time to begin imagining how
one would like to arrive at old age.
Erik Erikson (1964), a disciple of Sigmund Freud, has remarked that life is built
on “holding on” and “letting go.” At each phase of human development we must
learn what to hold on to and what to let go of and how. If one continues to hold
on to things that one was supposed to let go of, continues to hold on to what is no
longer relevant, and cannot renounce it, then one will not be able to accept his or
her aging and fill it with life-satisfying content.
Before a person enters old age, it behooves him or her to learn which doors are
still open and which doors are forever closed. For a young person it is almost
impossible to imagine his or her old age. It is even more difficult for the young to
make preparations for their old age at that time in their lives. Even students
studying gerontology can hardly imagine themselves as old people. They resemble
18 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

old participants in many studies who deny the fact that they are aged and insist
that the others in the same age group are old.
An aging individual must learn what promotes his or her health and what
poses great risks that need to be avoided. An appropriate diet and exercise can do
wonders to preserve and even to enhance one’s physical and mental well-being.
Above all, older people must learn how to use their spiritual powers to gain
successful old age. They must learn how to refrain from complaining and how to
overcome frustrations that come inevitably with aging. An old man or woman
should not become a nuisance to his or her social environment.
The following story illustrates this maxim. A man was invited to a party. He
asked his wife to take his mother to a nearby café and to treat her to a light lunch.
When he came back to the café, he asked his mother how she enjoyed the time
with her daughter-in-law. The old lady said in a whiny voice, “I had a good time.
I got a cup of coffee.” The daughter-in-law became red in her face and asked, “And
didn’t you get anything else?” The old lady replied, still whining, “Yes, I also got a
piece of cake.” “And nothing else?” “I also had a roll with honey and butter.” “Did
you also get good cheese?” “Yes,” said the old lady with a sigh. “And did you forget
the fruits you got?”“Yes,” said the old lady with a choking voice. “There were fruits
too” (Nagy, 2000, p. 79).
Of course, not all old people behave this way, but they can become irritating,
annoying, and ungrateful if they have not learned to be thankful for all the
kindness bestowed on them. They need to defend themselves against the
vicissitudes of life physically and mentally and to refrain from complaining
unjustly.
The best and safest ways to prepare ourselves for old age begin in the early
twenties of our life. Albert Schweitzer, the famous physician and winner of the
Nobel Prize for peace, summarized this preparation in his book Honor of Life
(1999). He wrote that his faith taught him to struggle and remain young in spirit,
to refrain from being a “mature person” (meaning an old man) even in his old age
(p. 235). Schweitzer reminds old and young people that life wishes to take away
from us our belief in the good and the beautiful, in what is true. Life wants to rob
us of our enthusiasm. But we must not throw away our ideals. True knowledge is
in the power to rise above and beyond the disappointments.
“What is the greatest secret in life?” ask many old people today. Schweitzer
replies that the greatest secret is to go through life without wearing out. One has
to reflect about all the events that have happened and look forward in order to
accomplish this feat (p. 236).
 3

The Search for Happiness

The Dalai Lama (2001) has stated in his book on happiness that we all wish for
something better in life, irrespective whether or not we have religious belief.
Therefore the purpose of life is the search after happiness (p. 19).
The struggle to be happy, to enjoy lasting and fulfilling happiness in old age, seems
to be never ending. We can differentiate among three kinds of struggle: nonvoluntary,
partially voluntary, and positive. Of these, only positive struggle merits real attention,
because it is a struggle that provides self-respect and compensates for depression,
disappointment, loneliness, and illness.
Happiness is whatever confers well-being and good spirits. The attitudes that
are the most likely to ensure happiness in later life are flexibility, self-respect,
perseverance in a personal project, and knowledge of the difference between
illness and aging. There are two kinds of happiness: short-term or instant, and
long-lasting and fulfilling. Older people who developed a healthy attitude to
positive struggle early in their lives and maintained it during their long lives, enjoy
the latter (Gullan-Whur, 2002).
The problem with this approach to happiness is that not every older person is
able to develop the necessary strength to engage in a positive struggle for happi-
ness. Many people do not know what issues or situations in life are worthwhile to
struggle for or what purpose is best for them to invest their waning energies in.
Many people resign themselves to the less than happy circumstances of their lives.
Moreover, each individual must find his or her own struggle that best promotes
survival and happiness. What is important, therefore, is to let people accept that
change is always possible; that they do not need to follow their life-long habits; that
earlier attitudes to life, creativity, and happiness do not necessarily remain static,
even in old age. Thus there is first a need to promote positive self-respect, by using
talents and capacities in a socially accepted way, especially in the service of a great
idea, and then to engage in the struggle for their fulfillment. This kind of struggle

19
20 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

leads to the discovery of one’s real self, the experience of symbolic growth, which,
in logotherapy, is equated with peak feelings experienced during life events that are
decisive for spiritual well-being and personal growth. What really matters in such
a struggle is the impact on significant others and on the world.
Ignoring the symptoms of illness as long as they are not life-threatening,
concentrating on new and rewarding activities, and denying age are other ways of
maintaining a healthy and positive struggle for survival in old age. The German
poet and philosopher Wolfgang Goethe wrote the second part of Faust while he
was seriously ill and in old age. He did not give up the struggle to finish his mas-
terpiece; he refused to succumb to the illness and continued to create and work
until the very end of his life. Thus he turned a human predicament into a great
human victory.
Albert Ellis (1998), founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and the
grandfather of cognitive-behavior therapy, wrote Optimal Aging: Get over Getting
Older when he was in his eighties. This work is a useful, witty, and valuable self-help
manual for people, not necessarily only the old, who wish to lead meaningful and
happy lives in their old age. Ellis developed twenty rules for optimal living in the
twenty-first century (p. 271). He used Sigmund Freud’s saying that the goal of all life
is death but paraphrased it as the goal of all life is to have a ball. His book tells old
people to concentrate on positive ways to create enjoyment in the second half of life.
A practical approach to optimal living is not enough for a happy life in old age.
Many of the rules presented by Ellis and co-author Velten sound too idealistic and
even somewhat preachy. A more balanced attitude to human happiness is given by
philosophy.
Human happiness has constituted a philosophical problem ever since
philosophy came into being. Each of the leading philosophers in the past
4,000 years of written human history had his or her own version and definition of
this elusive concept. In antiquity, for example, the Greek philosopher Epicurus
(342–271 BCE) equated happiness and joy with ethics. He said that each living
creature tries to gain happiness, joy, and pleasure and to avoid pain. Someone who
is able to nullify both bodily and mental pain has arrived at the happiness that is
sought after by humans. Happiness oriented toward truth and justice can be
attained, especially by the wise.
The great Roman philosopher Seneca (4 BC–60 AD) claimed that being
dissatisfied with what one has will cause a person to remain miserable, even if he
or she rules the whole world. Only the wise are happy with their lot, and every fool
despises himself or herself. He also said that people ask for happiness throughout
all their lives, yet few of them know the nature of this happiness and even less how
to gain it. According to Seneca, the source of happiness is mental tranquility,
which immunizes people against the upheavals of fate; this happiness is what the
wise person senses when he or she lives in accordance with good virtues and
morals (Seneca, 1997, p. 13).
Aurelius Augustinus (354–430 AD), who lived during the end of antiquity and
is regarded by scholars of the Church as one of its philosophical founders, relied
The Search for Happiness 21

on ancient Greek philosophy to pave the way for the philosophy of the Middle
Ages. His attitude to happiness was based on the belief that the way to happiness
leads one to turn inside. The inner world consists of knowledge, understanding,
and will—combined into one unit—as in the three sacred elements of
Christianity. The truth dwells inside people and not outside them, Augustinus
maintained. His ethics were based on the concept of love, which he equated with
happiness. This happiness was not built on earthly riches, goods, and possessions
but on love itself, on true love, on the love of God.
In the modern ages happiness was defined differently by philosophers and by
religious leaders. John Stuart Mill (1806–73) was one of the leading utilitarian
thinkers of his times. He defined the aim of a utilitarian attitude to life as the
greatest possible happiness for the greatest possible number of people. He also
thought that, as each human being is seeking personal happiness, so should each
realize that personal happiness and welfare are dependent on the happiness of all
others. An act is ethical if it results in advancing happiness and reducing pain and
suffering. One needs to weigh not only the quantity of happiness created by the
act, but its quality as well.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900), a great philosopher in the nineteenth
century, related to happiness from an altogether different angle when he asked
whether or not the final aim of science is the greatest measure of happiness and
the minimum of sorrow. The answer given was that modern science can rob
people of happiness and turn them into cold creatures. He believed that, one day,
science would discover its ability to bring happiness. Then and only then would
the stars shine even more (Nietzsche, 1997, pp. 53–54).
It is common to think that everybody wants to be happy, and everybody wishes
to live a long life full of happiness. The proof of this statement is evident: at each
birthday party, people are greeted with wishes such as “lots of happiness” and
“may you live 120 years”—like Moses in the Bible—as though people could live
life in a static situation of constant happiness.
The need for eternal happiness has its roots in early childhood, when the little
child lives without responsibility, without differentiating between good and bad,
without a sense of time. The small child does not know anything yet about life’s
temporality or about death, and thus life seems eternal. Bliss in early childhood—
life without worry or much pain, life full of pleasure and joy—is perceived by
many people in their maturity as their hearts’ desire.
What is this happiness that people crave so much? Is it self-evident? Or is
there perhaps some effort needed to reach it? Is it possible to gain it as a gift from
fate? What is it made of? Is it control of others, or getting rich? Or is it dependent
on living a modest life, yet with a sense of satisfaction with ourselves and with
the world?
The Danish philosopher Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813–55) said that the
door to happiness opens from inside out. When people try to force their way
through it and to be happy by using all means, they only close the way to this door
(1993, p. 64).
22 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

According to an Indian fairy tale, a little girl went on a walk in the field outside
of her village many years ago. All of a sudden she saw a butterfly caught in the
thorns of a bush of roses. The girl patiently and carefully freed the butterfly from
the thorns and it flew away. A few minutes later there appeared a beautiful fairy
who said: “You behaved very well when you freed the butterfly from the thorns and
showed that you have a good heart toward all the creatures in the world. Therefore
you can ask me one wish and I will fulfill it.” The girl asked the fairy: “Teach me
how to be happy all my life.” The fairy whispered something in the ear of the girl
and disappeared. And, from that day on, the little girl was happy all of her life, and
nobody in the village knew her secret. When she got old and was about to die, the
villagers came to visit her and asked her to disclose the secret of happiness; she said:
“The fairy told me ‘you will be happy so long as others need you.’”
A different attitude to happiness outside the world of fairy tales was exhibited
by Albert Einstein (1934), the most important scientist of the twentieth century.
In The World as I See It, his philosophical and autobiographical book, Einstein
wrote that we are here on Earth for a short time, as a result of other people from
whom our welfare and happiness stem and whose fate is connected to ours (p. 13).
Since his childhood Einstein had despised banal goals, such as success and
luxuries. Paradoxically, these are the goals that are equated with happiness and
that motivate so many people in the world today.
The search for happiness as the most important goal in life is directly
connected to the will to remain young forever, to remain beautiful and strong,
whereas the bitter truth that life passes like a cloud is a reminder that nothing
stays forever. This knowledge, whether clear and concrete or foggy and clouded,
causes much anguish and disappointment. It forces us to cope with being
transitory on the Earth. It forces us to accept the bodily, mental, and spiritual
changes that old age brings to all of us, which nobody can escape. Unfortunately,
many people hold on to their old-fashioned ideas about happiness as something
that, once attained, lasts forever. The stronger this idea is, the more difficult it is
to cope with the changes that time brings to us.
Despite the fact that we cannot generalize about the concept of happiness, it
seems that, behind the search for happiness, stand two basic needs in humans: the
need for self-actualization, which is so commonly accepted in the Western world,
and the need for love in its broadest sense. As for the first of these two needs, each
human being wishes to live his or her life with a feeling that he or she has achieved
this dream and made life as meaningful as possible. Each of us wishes to love and
to be loved, surrounded by good friends who love and care for us. Each of us
would like to escape loneliness and social isolation. Each would like to remain
independent, not to be swallowed up by the crowd. Each would like to maintain
uniqueness. The life of each of us would surely turn miserable if these two needs
were left unfulfilled.
These needs are closely connected; they complement each other and form a
necessary synthesis for attaining happiness. The trouble is that we live in an
The Search for Happiness 23

historical time in which many people are mistaken and confuse healthy and
constructive self-actualization with limitless egoism. Many people are addicted to
materialism, an addiction that cannot ever be satisfied, and they live inside the
illusion that material riches will give them happiness.
Many people perceive love in its narrow definition, as the satisfaction of their
immediate sexual urges and drives. But—when people free themselves of the need
to acquire more material resources, honors, social standing, and power that provide
them with a sense of superiority over others and when they do not invest all of their
mental energies in achieving fame and wealth but instead in attaining meaningful
living and enrichment of their souls—they can get on the king’s road that leads to
both self-actualization and to love. But a precondition of the search for true happi-
ness is that the search must begin in our hearts, in our souls, in our inner world.

THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS AS A SEARCH IN OUR HEARTS

Martin Buber (1878–1965), famous editor, translator, and essayist, one of the
leading philosophers in the twentieth century, saw the search in one’s heart as the
first step in the process of change, leading toward becoming a real human being.
In his lovely little book The Way of Man according to the Teachings of Hasidism
(1976), he tells the story of Rabbi Zalman Schneur, a leader in this movement,
who was jailed because of false accusations by his opponents.
One day the warden asked him: “How can we understand that God asks the
first man, Adam, ‘Where are you?’ God who sees everything surely knew where
Adam was, and thus he shouldn’t have asked him at all.” Rather than answering
this question, the Rabbi surprised the warden with an opposing question: “Where
are you in your world? Look here, you most likely have passed forty-six years, and
where did you get in your life?” When the warden heard that the Rabbi mentioned
his exact age, he said “Hurray,” but his heart trembled (p. 10).
The Rabbi did not get into a debate with the warden; he raised his answer to
the latter’s question to a different and higher plateau by turning it around, as if the
warden were asked by God “Where are you?” And, as the first man preferred to
hide rather than answer the question and accept responsibility for his action, so
do many people today prefer to escape this nagging question. Buber emphasizes
that the purpose of this question is not only to discover whence one came, whither
one goes, and to whom one will have to answer, as in Hasidic religious tradition.
It is more important to remember that the main purpose of the search in one’s
heart is to give ourselves the chance to turn away from a certain path that leads
nowhere and go back to the road to change—which is the point of the story. The
purpose of the question “Where are you?” is to awaken people to the fact of their
responsibility for their lives, to prevent them hiding, from giving their personal
answers.
Buber says that everything depends on how people are able to cope with the
question. Each person’s heart trembles when he or she hears the question, but the
system of hidings will help people to overcome this feeling, because the voice is
24 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

not coming via thunder that endangers their lives. It is, rather, a quiet voice that is
easy to drown (Buber, 1976, p. 12).
The search in one’s heart is effective only when it leads to Buber’s road to
change; otherwise, it turns into something tasteless that only leads to self-torture,
despair, and entanglement with the negative forces in human beings. To find this
road, one needs to be ready to accept change and to turn away from the way
already trodden. The trembling of the heart that Buber speaks about is equal for
all who have faced the essential question of being in the world. For whose hearts
will not tremble when they must struggle with the fact that their life may come to
its end in an instant—even if they outwardly behave heroically, such as the
warden in the story?

LIVING FOR OTHERS AS HAPPINESS

Most human beings approach their aging full of fear and even anxiety—about
the future that threatens them and about the end that approaches with giant steps.
Fear and anxiety exist even in the earlier phases in the lives of human beings, as
the results of personality and genetic inheritance or of life experiences that
demanded their price.
Many elderly people lived their lives as if for others, especially those who
were unable to develop their own unique personality or those who were unable
to live without their constant partner. They are full of anxiety about what may
happen to them if they lose this partner: How will they be able to manage? What
will they do with themselves? How many times do we hear old people living
together for decades say that they cannot even imagine living without their
better half? This dependency on another is similar to that of a small child on
parents, especially on the mother. Such a child lacks independent life; his entire
existence is dependent on the other.
Many older women, despite modern times and the achievements of feminism
and equality between the genders, remain completely dependent on their partners
for life and do not know how to take care of themselves without those partners.
They may never have had a bank account, written a check, heard of the stock
market; visited government offices, or bought something without consulting their
partners and getting their permission. Their entire lives centered on caring for the
children, the spouse or partner, and the household. They never gave a thought to
what might happen in case of a disaster, such as the untimely death of that
significant other.
There are many old people who find it difficult to bid farewell not only to loved
people, but also to material possessions. They are caught in a panicky need to gain
more possessions or in despicable miserliness. They think that their wealth will
gain them additional life, and they live in a state of constant anxiety about the
possibility of losing their fortune. The same applies to those who hold on to
power obsessively and to the hypochondriacs who are preoccupied with their
health. All these people exhibit fear of the future and inability to leave behind
The Search for Happiness 25

what has been gained graciously. These people may be characterized as living
empty lives, without meaningful content.
Happiness is close to unhappiness, according to the historian Lukacs (2001).
One can live and find happiness even in the worse circumstances, in the worse
distress, provided that much effort is vested in the search for happiness. In order
to be happy, people must renounce the easy way, which centers on the factors that
make them miserable; they will soon discover all of the things that seem to be
missing and to cause unhappiness. Yet, in order to be happy, one must gather all
physical and mental powers and organize and plan life, because the search for
happiness is a task that we accept voluntarily. And this is not easy. We need to
think about what makes us happy. Most people, however, are too lazy to think
about their own happiness, to think about what gives joy and pleasure, not to
mention meaning, to their lives. Thus they refuse to think about their future.
During World War II, Lukacs (2001) wrote in his autobiography that, in the midst
of hunger and bombing, misery, persecution, cold, and freezing weather, when he
was hiding in a dark basement and was afraid for his life every minute, what kept him
alive and even gave him happiness and faith for a better future—what prompted him
to plan for that future—was hope, together with reminiscences about pleasant
memories of his past life that gave him pleasure.
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 4

Meaningful Living according

to Logotherapy

In March 2000 the findings of a survey entitled The Myth and Reality of the Elderly
Situation in America was published by the National Council on Aging. Participants
in the survey included adults aged eighteen or older. Its purpose was to discover
whether or not there were changes in the attitude of the American public toward
aging since the previous survey conducted in 1974.
Among the most striking findings of this survey were the following: Eighty-four
percent of the participants said that they would be very happy to live until age
ninety; forty-four percent of those aged sixty-five or older described the pres-
ent years of their lives as the best ones. Moreover, even the oldest of the old, those
in their late eighties or older agreed that these were the best years for them; sixty
percent of elderly black participants and fifty-seven percent of their Spanish-
speaking counterparts agreed with this statement.
The present life satisfaction of the elderly was far better than what was reported
in 1974. At that time, only thirty-two percent of elderly participants thought that
way. The meaning of these results, according to the president of the National
Council on the Aging in America, is that the country has entered a new era in
aging. This era may be characterized for millions by positive experiences and
meaningful living until age ninety or older. This is an option waiting for the aged.
But, despite all of the optimism from the results of this survey, we have to keep in
mind that aging is a phase of life that is full of difficulties for millions of older
Americans.
Today the attitude to the beginning of old age is different from what it used to
be in the past. Many elderly find chronological age meaningless; only 14 percent
of the participants in the present survey thought that a certain chronological age
is an indication of aging. On the subject of retirement two central factors were
mentioned by the participants: the amount of personal savings (sixty-four percent)
and health (fifty-nine percent). The most frequently mentioned definition of the

27
28 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

concept of aging was “a decline in physical abilities” (forty-one percent) and “a

decline in mental capacities” (thirty-two percent). Many young people exaggerate
the economic situation and loneliness of the elderly and refer to them as being
severe problems, but loneliness among the young, aged eighteen to twenty-four,
was found to be higher than among the elderly.
An interesting finding was related to the struggle among the generations for
benefits and for economic resources. Contrary to the existing myth in American
society that the elderly are in continuous conflict with the young for budgets and
benefits given by Congress, the majority (ninety-two percent) of all age groups in
the survey rejected the claim that “the elderly are greedy.” The majority of the
respondents (eighty percent) agreed that the elderly do not receive enough respect
from the younger generations.
How far these myths are from reality can be seen by the answers that partici-
pants gave to the question: “Do you think that the government gives enough
money for the aged?” Two-thirds of the respondents under age sixty-five rejected
the idea that part of the Social Security funds earmarked for the aging should be
given to children. The younger age groups thought that there should be a widen-
ing of medical benefits for the old folks and that they should include long-term
and nursing care. Furthermore, they agreed on the need to train older workers in
new technologies to enable them to continue working beyond the present age of
retirement.
As for the fear of crime against older people, the survey has shown a marked
improvement in this area compared to the results of the previous survey in 1974.
In sum, it is safe to conclude that the majority of the more than thirty million
Americans aged sixty-five or older lead meaningful lives, at least in the material
sense. Nevertheless, the question of what to do about those whose lives lack meaning
should be raised.

PSYCHOLOGY OF THE HEIGHTS

Aging persons in modern society face a difficult problem even when they do
not have an economic problem. They crave happiness and life satisfaction but lack
guidance about how to achieve them. On one hand, they have lost their natural
and healthy instincts that guide animals in their behavior. On the other hand,
those who lack strong religious belief have lost the traditions and values that
guided the attitudes of their forefathers. They find themselves empty-handed,
worrying about what to do. What should they choose? Many people choose con-
formism; that is, they do as others do, or they succumb to totalitarianism and
obey the commands and the demands of others instead of acting according to
their own conscience and outlook on life.
Modern men and women lack a Guide for the Perplexed (Maimonides) on
how to live in the rapidly changing world. They ask why they have come to this
world and how they can maintain normal living despite the cruelty, terror,
hatred, and wickedness that exist in the world. They search for a way that will
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 29

help them discover meaning to their lives and strengthen them in the spiritual
sense. One such way is offered by Professor Viktor Frankl in logotherapy, which
he has created, developed, and spread throughout the world for more than sixty
years.

WHAT IS LOGOTHERAPY?
Frankl (1962) has referred to logotherapy as a theory of motivation—a way of
thinking and a methodology combined. The aim is to enable clients to discover
meaning in their lives—rather than to satisfy their drives and instincts, as in
psychoanalysis (p. 103).
In every theory of psychology the essence of a human being is central. This
essence refers to a mental picture of what characterizes an individual, and this
picture helps explain the theory and the therapeutic method that emanate from
them. For Sigmund Freud biology was a determining factor in the evolution of
humankind. This is why Freud concentrated his work on biological, sexual, and
libidinal urges, drives, and instincts that influence human existence, especially in
the early phases of human development.
Frankl emphasized the adult phase of development, during which spiritual
determinants are more decisive than biological ones. According to Frankl, the
human spirit is the only healthy nucleus found in even the sickest individual.
In all of Frankl’s works a struggle to make the concept of meaning clear and
understandable in the modern world is apparent. This struggle is not limited to
the concept of meaning alone but encompasses all of the systems of people’s
relationship with themselves and with the meaning of their existence. Accord-
ing to Frankl’s biography (Klingberg, 2001), at the age of four Frankl was
already wrestling with the question of the meaning of life, and his struggle con-
tinued throughout his life. At age seventeen (Frankl, 1995, p. 36) he tackled the
question in a lecture entitled “The Meaning of Life,” given at the Volkshochschule
in Vienna (People’s College). On this occasion he presented the audience with
two main points that were later developed into his theory of logotherapy: first,
life does not answer our questions about the meaning of life but rather puts
those questions to us, leaving it for us to find the answers by deciding what we
find meaningful; second, the ultimate meaning of life is beyond the grasp of our
intellect but is something that we only can live by, without ever being able to
define it cognitively.
When criticized about his system of logotherapy as being basically a case
history of his own neurosis, similar to those of his predecessors Freud and Adler,
in The Unheard Cry for Meaning (1978), Frankl said that he was not entitled to
speak in this context, but, as far as logotherapy was concerned, he would gladly
confess that as a young man he had to go through the hell of despair over the
apparent meaninglessness of life. He added that he wrestled with it, as Jacob did
with the angel, until he could “say yes to life in spite of everything,” until he could
develop immunity against nihilism.
30 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

More than twenty-seven years ago, noted psychologist Irvin Yalom (1980) said
that logotherapy is basically religious, and, for this reason, it speaks mainly to the
common people in the street. What then is logotherapy?
Logotherapy is therapy for the sick, support for the sufferer, education for
the confused, and philosophy for the frustrated. Logotherapy includes and deals
with the biological, psychological, and spiritual dimensions of a human being.
And all of these dimensions come together and are expressed in the functional
dimension.
In addition to treating those suffering from neuroses that originate in the
spiritual dimension, logotherapy has developed methods for working with
clients who suffer from phobias in their sexual behavior, have incurable diseases,
or lead empty and meaningless lives. Logotherapy can also serve as a comple-
ment or supplement to conventional methods of psychotherapy for addicts,
victims of accidents, the physically disabled who have lost limbs, and others,
especially in cases in which the losses are accompanied by a lack of meaning in
life (Guttmann, 1996, p. 6).
Frankl’s main aim in creating logotherapy was to make psychotherapy more
human and to offer it as an additional way of looking at the world, both philo-
sophically and in therapy. Logotherapy has a universal message and mission—
namely, to counteract any tendencies to reduce human lives to tiny cogs in a large
machine. This mission was what Frankl saw all of his life as his major reason for
being in the world.
Logotherapy’s basic assumptions stem from anthropology, the view of human
nature; philosophy, the view of the world; and psychotherapy, the concept of therapy.
Its major concepts—freedom of the will, will to meaning, and meaning of life—
were based in no small measure on the philosophical writings of Schopenhauer
and Scheler, two German philosophers whose works appeared mainly in the first
half of the nineteenth century. For example, Freedom of the Will was one of
Schopenhauer’s most important books.

FREEDOM OF THE WILL

Frankl built the theory of logotherapy on triangles: three life events influenced
Frankl about the importance of the meaning of life and brought him to develop
logotherapy.
The first event was his arrest by the Gestapo, along with that of his entire
family—parents, brother and newlywed wife—who were all taken to the concen-
tration camp in Terezin outside of Prague.
The second event happened on the way to Auschwitz, when he had to give up
the manuscript of his first book on logotherapy, later known as The Doctor and the
Soul (1986).
The third event occurred when he was marching to work along with the rest of
the prisoners at the concentration camp and discovered to his surprise that his
wife existed inside his soul. At that moment he understood that, even in the most
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 31

horrible physical and mental conditions, people can feel, even for an instant, joy
from the very thought and reflection on a loved person.
These three events were linked in a symbolic way to the three triangles of the
concept of meaning in logotherapy. The first of these triangles deals with the
concepts of freedom of the will, the will to meaning, and the meaning of life.
Freedom of the will is the opposite of fate. Even in the concentration camps
there was a measure of freedom: the freedom to choose one’s reaction to the liv-
ing conditions. The prisoners in the camps had to undergo a transformation from
independent people who were free to make decisions about the circumstances of
their lives into creatures who were forced to deal with the most inhuman, primi-
tive, and degrading conditions possible. It is no coincidence that many of the pris-
oners suffered from an intense feeling of inferiority in the face of their sadistic
tormentors.
Many prisoners succumbed to despair or fell into apathy, and many died for
lack of meaning in their lives. Frankl consoled his suffering fellow prisoners by
emphasizing that there was a meaning to their sufferings. And this meaning was
that someone was observing each one of them—expecting them not to frustrate
him or her and expecting them to bear their suffering proudly, not letting anyone
trample on their human dignity—and that each of them would know how to die
as a human being.
Frankl saw that even Sigmund Freud was wrong in his theory of human
behavior: he had assumed that people left without food for days would become
alike, that the hunger would diminish their differences until they disappeared. In
the concentration camps of the Nazis, the opposite was true. Some prisoners
behaved according to Freud’s assumption, but others were willing to share their
last piece of bread with their fellow prisoners. Frankl concluded that people are
capable of sinking to the bottom of the abyss, to the level of animals, and to com-
mit horrible and evil sins, but they can also become like angels and elevate them-
selves above and beyond all imagination and attain a purified level of spiritual
existence.
The concept of meaning in life is also divided into three components. These
constitute the second triangle and refer to the three values that can help people
discover meaning in their lives: creative, experiential, and attitudinal values. These
are discussed at length by the author in Logotherapy for the Helping Professional:
Meaningful Social Work (Guttmann, 1996). The third triangle is composed of
attitudinal values, such as the attitude to suffering, guilt, and death.
Frankl raised the question: How is it possible to refer to a human being in his
or her totality? He emphasized that the individual should not search for an
abstract meaning to life. Each one of us has an occupation or mission in life to do
something concrete, something that only he or she can and should do. And, in this
something, he or she cannot be replaced by anyone else, in the same way that his
or her life cannot be replaced by another person’s. Therefore the role of each
human being is unique, in the same way as the opportunity given for its fulfill-
ment is unique to each person (Frankl, 1962, pp. 108–109).
32 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

THE INFLUENCE OF ALFRED ADLER ON THE DEVELOPMENT

OF LOGOTHERAPY
According to Frankl’s autobiography (1995), he was influenced in his youth by
the founder of the school of individual psychology in Vienna, Alfred Adler
(1870–1937). One of the basic assumptions in Adler’s psychology was that people
exist in a given world, in which they are a tiny but necessary cog, and that, in their
interactions with the world, they must fulfill three obligations. Achievements in all
three areas of obligation result in a sense of meaning and self-respect; failure
means suffering from various ailments and disorders.
In The Meaning of Life (1996), Adler claimed that these three obligations con-
front three central roles that one cannot escape in life: maintaining relationships
with other human beings, finding some occupation for a livelihood, and engaging
in a loving relationship to propagate humankind. These roles are connected as one
unit and anchored in the fact that each one is dependent on human society, on the
cosmos, and on the other gender. Positive fulfillment of these roles provides one
with a happy existence in the world.
We may imagine these roles as a test of a problem in mathematics. The greater
the mistake is that a subject is making in solving the problem, the greater is the
mistake in life. There is also the danger that the mistake will get one into difficul-
ties in life. Yet, this danger remains hidden as long as one does not experience
some tragic life event, as long as life does not test his or her ability to carry a bur-
den. The following is an example.
Recently I met Mr. Blum (false name), aged seventy-eight. He said that his
beloved wife had become ill with cancer during the past year and had a heart
attack too. Now he must try to learn the roles that his wife did for him, to be the
supporter and encourager of the family. The illness of his wife opened the eyes of
Mr. Blum. He saw that he failed to provide sufficient emotional support to his wife
when she needed it. If he would have done so, he could have found deeper mean-
ing to his life and felt greater satisfaction. The discovery gave him an opportunity
to correct his way and to find a new meaning in life.
One can learn from this case that each difficulty that life poses, each question
that life asks, is a chance to engage in a new search for meaning and an opportu-
nity for finding it—even at age seventy-eight.
Adler’s attitude to the roles just described reflects his theory of psychology.
Accordingly, every effort one makes to overcome deficiencies is actually an
attempt to gain greater security. Adler saw each individual as a unique and creative
person, blessed with various degrees of creativity. People have different goals and
purposes in life, yet the meaning of life is created by working toward the welfare
of others.
Adler maintained that human beings create lifestyles based on the interpreta-
tions that they give to their hereditary inclinations, to the opportunities that arise
in their lives, and to the goals they set for themselves to achieve. These lifestyles
combine the three human dimensions of body, soul, and spirit and lead toward a
final aim and purpose. They can be characterized by dependence either on feelings
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 33

of inferiority or pursuit of superiority as a compensation for feelings of weakness.

They may also involve pursuit of excellence and can enhance feelings of security
and self-respect.
Achievements in the three areas of life—friendship, love, and work—contribute
to self-respect. The appropriateness of the goal of human life was perceived by
Adler on the basis of a double criterion: whether or not individuals use them to
enhance their self-respect and advance the life and prosperity of the society in
which they live and work, that is, whether or not individuals have a deep sense of
responsibility toward society.
A mentally healthy individual maintains well-developed social interests,
exhibits more optimism and bravery, and is willing to accept more responsibility
than an unhealthy one. Such an individual works more diligently and industri-
ously to advance the welfare of the community than does a neurotic. Adler made
positive comparisons between his individual psychology and religion. He claimed
that both of these refer to the wholeness of the soul in a loving community. Peo-
ple can discover meaning in life through religion, which gives strength and
enhances love for the social interests of people.
Adler wrote two books toward the end of his life that dealt specifically with the
subject of meaning. In 1931 he published What Life Should Mean to You? and, in
1933, The Meaning of Life. In the latter he said that we live in a world of mean-
ingful relationships. We never have interests only in facts; we refer to the facts only
when they have some meaning for us. Our reality is based on the meaning that we
assign it (Adler, 1994, p. 7). Adler’s attitude to life and meaning was later incor-
porated into Frankl’s logotherapy.
Adler was aware of the human weakness to postpone thinking about the
inevitable. He said that, as long as the sailboat of one’s life is going straight, one
does not ask these questions.
An illustration of this idea is the story of Mr. Green, aged seventy, who came to
talk with me. He has built his life on the honor that he received as the president
of a certain organization and was absolutely certain that, as a result of his dili-
gence and loyalty to his work, he would be able to stay in this position for another
decade. “And all of a sudden a young man came and deprived me of the honor I
built by great effort. He made various manipulations with the members of the
board and succeeded to push me out. Now I have nothing to live for.” “Are you
sure?” I asked him. “Is it true that you have nothing to live for? Is your life mean-
ingless just because you are no longer the president of this organization?” He
seemed embarrassed because he didn’t expect this answer. He hesitated a minute
and then said: “Perhaps there are things that I can do in another organization.”

JUNG’S APPROACH TO MEANING IN LIFE

The Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung (1875–1961) referred to the problem
of a meaningless life by saying that absence of meaning in life plays a crucial role
in the etiology of neurosis. Jung saw in neurosis a suffering of a soul that has not
34 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

discovered its meaning; he said that a third of the cases that he treated were not
suffering from any clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and
aimlessness of their lives (Jung, 1954, p. 83).
Jung placed great emphasis on transforming a human being into a unique and
independent personality by the development of inner strengths. When Jung
reached his fifties, he began to claim that the second half of life, from year thirty-
five and older, serves different purposes and goals than the first half of life. This
assumption is supported by his own life: until the age of thirty-five, Jung worked
mainly with severely psychotic patients. Later he decided that he did not feel him-
self strong enough to treat such people and began to work with mentally healthy
individuals, searching to find their unique way in life.
Jung has maintained that the first half of life is devoted mainly to success in
social and economical endeavors—marriage, occupation, and in raising children,
whereas the second half of life must be successful in cultural achievements and
accomplishments. According to Jung, women should not “roll down the curtains”
just because they pass their age of fertility. He saw in the second half of life a gift
from nature and said that, in the middle of life, after people have reached the peak
of their efforts and built the work of their life, they have the freedom to look back
and to question how their life has been shaped: they begin to search for the real
motivation to their existence and to discover their authentic self and uniqueness.
The discoveries that they make about themselves are possible only when they are
willing to pay a heavy price, because they may cause great commotion. The fol-
lowing is an example.
A client in his fifties told me—when he began to perceive that it was getting
late for him to achieve what he wanted all his life, that is, to devote himself to his
hobby and become a singer in the opera: “Until now I was a slave to my commit-
ments to work and home. Yet even if I didn’t do a thing to fulfill my dream, I
thought that I have the necessary talent. Now I see that I made a mistake. It is dif-
ficult for me to admit that I was wrong, that I made a mistake. It is hard for me to
accept this fact, but I have no choice. I went to see a music teacher. He gave me a
serious test and said that I could sing in a choir, but I could never be a soloist in
the opera, not even in his own choir. I look back upon my life and see that I missed
the many opportunities life gave me to fulfill my dream. This insight gives me
shivers. Can you feel how hard it is to forego a dream?”
It is impossible to solve great problems in life once and for all. One cannot dis-
cover a meaning that will be valid in every minute of life, from childhood to old
age. My client will have to find a new dream to fill his life with meaning or new
ways for making his old dream come true. The meaning of life can never be
achieved in a static answer to the question that life poses to us. It requires hard
and consistent work. It arouses in us a spiritual sense and prevents us from sink-
ing into foolishness or being fossilized.
Jung has shown that, in the second half of life, people wake up and feel their
powers and capabilities that were neglected, as did my client. Aging individuals
may achieve greater spiritual development by gaining understanding of their past,
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 35

dreams, way of life, and the meaning of their life events. They understand anew
what these events symbolize for them, and they can thus gain greater satisfaction
and happiness, by accomplishing their dreams and by finding new meaning to
their life. “Life has posed for me a question,” Jung said, “and I had to answer to the
best of my ability” (p. 451).
Jung perceived the world into which we are born as rude, coarse, rough, and
obscene, but nevertheless containing divine beauty. According to him, what people
wish to believe is dominant in the world depends on their mood: meaning or its
lack. Jung knew that, in terms of metaphysics, life is lacking meaning and yet is full
of meaning and hopes; in the end, meaning will gain and win (p. 451).

WHAT LIFE DEMANDS FROM ME: MEANING OF THE MOMENT

In each moment we are requested by life to respond to the meaning offered by
some life event and to realize the meaning potential hidden in that moment. We
should ask “What is life demanding from me now, at this moment?” Meaning,
Frankl stresses, comes from “getting out of ourselves” toward purposes and goals,
ideals to achieve and to serve, and people to love.
When human beings cannot discover, recognize, or accept meaning, they find
themselves in an “existential vacuum.” This vacuum cries out to be filled. Those
who cannot fill their lives with some meaning are apt to pay a price, in the form
of psychiatric symptoms, such as deviations from the social norms that are com-
monly accepted in a given culture. These symptoms are expressed as addictions to
dangerous and harmful substances, violence and aggression that, in their worst
excesses, can lead to what Frankl has termed “existential neurosis.” This malady is
characterized by suffering, anxiety, and depression.
The meaning of the moment is transitory: it cannot be repeated, postponed, or
delayed. Life forces it on us whether we like it or not. The meaning potential is
always present in a given situation. We are only required to discover it and to act
toward its realization.
Each situation in an individual’s life is unique. It cannot be substituted for by
someone else’s. Nor can someone else take on our lives and problems. We all live
in a given historical era, with its specific requirements and opportunities—not
only for need fulfillment, but for meaning fulfillment, too. Every moment that we
live or every time that we encounter a unique situation requiring a decision offers
us an opportunity for finding meaning. Yet, whether or not we respond to the call
of life depends entirely on us. And the way that we respond to this call decides
whether we use or miss the unique opportunity for finding meaning to our
existence—or whether our lives are “full of vanities,” and not really different from
that of the animals, as Ecclesiastes says.
A relevant illustration is taken from the life of Frankl, as told by his grand-
daughter at the conference on logotherapy held in Madrid in 2005: “My grandfather
was forty years old when he was freed from the last concentration camp he stayed at
that time. He returned to Vienna and found that there was no one waiting for him.
36 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

His home was destroyed by bombings. All his family, his parents, his brother, and his
wife were killed in the Holocaust. He was lonely and forlorn, without a home and
penniless. He was depressed and destitute and had thoughts about suicide. Then he
remembered that what kept him alive during his three and a half years in four con-
centration camps, aside from his hope to see his family, was the manuscript he wrote
about logotherapy. If he would commit suicide, then the chance for his ‘brain-child’
to see the light will be lost too. He gathered all his physical, mental, and spiritual
strength and instead of sinking into self-pity, he began to work furiously on the
manuscript he managed to reproduce in his mind. Thus he began to find new
meaning in life.”
The meaning of the moment changes from one minute to the next, from one
individual to another. The same situation may have a different meaning for a dif-
ferent person in the situation concerned. The situation itself is the same, but each
individual is different; therefore, each perceives the same situation in accordance
with his or her own perception, need, feeling, and understanding, which is pro-
jected onto the situation. Our task is to find the unique meaning that a particular
situation offers us. Sometimes behind the trivial things hide great opportunities for
meaning fulfillment. They seem to be hidden from the human eye, yet they exist.
Our conscience reveals the one thing that is required to actualize the meaning
in a specific situation. This is the meaning of the moment. This unique thing that
ought to be cannot be comprehended by rational terms or by universal law. It can
only be experienced intuitively. It is our inner voice, our inner monitor, which
needs to be heard and heeded to attain inner peace. This capacity can be used to
the fullest when a concrete choice has to be made, such as between placing an inca-
pacitated parent in a nursing home or caring for him or her at home until death.

SUPRA-MEANING AND MENTAL HEALTH

A famous actor happened to visit an exclusive resort. The owner was very
proud of this actor’s presence among his guests, so he begged him to perform after
dinner. To the owner’s surprise, the actor agreed and said that after dinner he
would recite chapter twenty-three in the book of Psalms. When the dinner was
over, the actor stood up and delivered a most profound act. When he finished, he
got a standing ovation.
Among the guests of the resort happened to be a once-famous old cantor, and
the owner asked him too for a guest performance. The old cantor climbed slowly
on the stage and said that he would recite the same Psalm. In a faltering, stuttering,
tearful voice, with his eyes lifted to heaven, he began: “The Lord is my shepherd, I
shall not want . . .” and, when he finished, there was a great silence, but every eye
was wet with tears.
After the evening performances were over, one of the guests went to the actor
and said to him: “Perhaps you can help me. I don’t understand what happened
here tonight. When you recited the prayer, everybody cheered, but when the can-
tor recited the same prayer, everybody cried. I can’t understand the difference.”
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 37

The actor replied: “I think I can. You see, I know how to act, but the cantor knows
the Master.”
This episode illustrates Frankl’s attitude to the subject of “supra-meaning.”
Frankl (1962) believed in a world beyond the human world, one in which the
question about the final meaning of suffering will find an answer. This meaning
Frankl called the “supra” or “ultimate” meaning (p. 118). Therefore, in logotherapy,
Frankl speaks of another dimension in addition to the biological, psychological,
and spiritual: this dimension is supra-meaning.
Frankl devoted two of his books to clarifying this dimension. The first, pub-
lished in 1985 as his dissertation for the PhD, was The Unconscious God: Logother-
apy and Religion. The second, Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning, was completed
close to his death in 1997 and contains most of what appeared in the first one with
the exception of two chapters: one about new research in logotherapy since 1975
and one about the search for the final meaning of life.
As an abstract concept, ultimate meaning is difficult to grasp, yet its existence is
evident. We just have to look around in nature and the cosmos to see that there is
order in the world, on our own planet Earth and beyond in infinite space. How did
this order come about? How does it work? How does it affect the lives of the people
on Earth, their individual and collective destinies? These are some of the questions
that the greatest philosophers, thinkers, humanists, and psychologists have asked and
continue to ask from one generation to the next. No one has real answers; no one has
seen this supra-meaning with his or her own eyes (unless they were prophets). And
yet there are opportunities in life for us to experience something extraordinary that
reaffirms the existence of that special dimension: peak experiences.
People are capable of glimpsing for a fleeting moment the mysteries of nature,
of feeling exultation, and of sensing a beauty that cannot be expressed in words.
For some individuals these moments can be provided by music, for others by the
arts, and for still others by nature. This is why we speak of a divine gift, as in the
music of Mozart or Beethoven, or as a result of a special encounter with another
human being. In all such instances we feel elation, a wonder that can give us a
fleeting insight into the great force or order that moves this world. Frankl (1986)
said that belief in a super meaning, whether as a metaphysical concept or in the
religious sense of God, is of the foremost psychotherapeutic and psycho-hygienic
importance. Such a belief adds immeasurably to human vitality. To such a faith,
nothing, ultimately, is meaningless (p. 32).
Frankl (1985) was aware that not every person can grasp a meaning beyond the
physical or psychological world. Therefore he used the concept of ultimate or
supra-meaning to convey something that is not comprehensible with our presently
available scientific means. Nevertheless, even those who do not believe in God are
aware that such a superhuman dimension exists. Frankl maintains that to be
human means to relate to something different from us or, to say it better, to some-
one different from us. We are directed toward the world beyond ourselves, and in
this world we wish to fulfill meanings. And this is possible only if we can transcend
ourselves. This is why the essence of human existence is self-transcendence.
38 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

We cannot understand the supra-meaning contained in human suffering,

because thinking about it does not suffice to grasp the purpose of that mean-
ing. Supra-meaning is not a matter for thought, but for belief. We cannot per-
ceive it intellectually, only existentially, outside of our experience—that is, by
faith. We cannot break the dimensional barrier between the human world and
God’s world, but we can come close to the supra-meaning by a faith, one in
which belief in existence “out-of-this world” serves as a mediator. Therefore
we cannot speak about God. We can speak to God by prayer (The Will to
Meaning, p. 173).
For a religious person, the supra-meaning is vested in God. Belief in God is a
private matter and a personal value. Good therapists must make a conscious effort
to enter the value-world of their clients, to use their knowledge in a responsible
and intelligent way to help with spiritual problems. An illustration of such help
was given by Frankl when he encountered a rabbi from Eastern Europe who had
lost his first wife and six children in the Holocaust. This rabbi was in despair
because his second wife was sterile and thus he would have no son to say Kaddish
after his death. Frankl asked him whether he hoped to see his children in heaven,
whereupon the old rabbi burst into tears and confessed that the true reason for his
despair was his fear that, as a sinner, he might not be assigned the same place as
his martyred children.
Frankl (1962) asked the rabbi if it was not conceivable that this was precisely
the meaning of surviving your children: that you may be purified through
these years of suffering so that, finally, you too may become worthy of joining
them in Heaven. Is it not written in the Psalms (56:8) that God preserves all of
your tears? The old rabbi found relief through the new perspective that Frankl had
opened before him (p. 120).
Frankl emphasizes that we should not limit our perspective to the biological
dimension; instead, we should widen our horizon by including in it a higher
dimension. Thus we learn that a higher dimension exists, even if we cannot see it,
because it does not appear in the lower dimension. This is a matter of faith: that
something exists on a different plane from the one to which we are accustomed
and perceive as based on our biological development. We cannot refer to it as if it
were the same thing that we know in our biological and psychological dimensions.
With the following story, Frankl (1997) illustrated this mistake in the thinking of
those who cannot perceive the difference. A small boy said to Eleanor, Frankl’s
wife, that he already knew what he wished to be when he grew up. “And what is
that?” asked Eleanor. The boy replied, “Or I will be an acrobat in the circus, or I
will be God” (p. 147).
What about someone who does not believe in God? Does such an individual’s
life have a supra-meaning too? Is there such a thing as a nonreligious person?
Frankl (1997) claims that, as early as age fifteen, he arrived at an operational def-
inition of God. Accordingly, God is the partner of our most intimate reflections
and thoughts. When one speaks completely alone, in all sincerity, the one to
whom he or she turns can rightfully be called God (p. 151).
Meaningful Living according to Logotherapy 39

Frankl was convinced that a religious sense exists in all human beings. Some-
times this sense is buried, and sometimes it is repressed in the unconscious.
Therefore even someone who is not religious in the broadest sense of this term
can find supra-meaning no less than the believer in God. Faith in God is either
without qualification, or it is not faith at all. A weak faith resembles a weak love:
crisis and tragedies weaken it, but a strong wind and enthusiasm inflame it. Those
who survived the Nazi concentration camps were divided into two groups: believ-
ers and nonbelievers in God, and the number of the believers whose faith
increased was much higher than that of the nonbelievers.
When Frankl was asked in an interview on the occasion of his ninetieth birth-
day whether he himself was religious, he answered: “I don’t feel debased or humil-
iated if someone suspects that I’m a religious person. If you call ‘religious’ a man
who believes in what I call a Super-meaning, a meaning so comprehensive that
you can no longer grasp it, get hold of it in rational intellectual terminology, then
one should feel free to call me religious” (cited by Matthew Scully in First Things,
April 1995, p. 43).
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 5

Guiding Principles of Logotherapy

Logotherapy’s principles express its founder’s philosophical attitude toward life.

Their aim is to help perplexed people in the modern world learn how to live
meaningful lives—including midlife and beyond.

THE FIRST PRINCIPLE: FREEDOM OF WILL

Life has meaning, as long as one is conscious, in all circumstances. One can
choose an attitude toward what is happening to one as a result of outer and inner
forces. This principle was validated by the life experiences of Frankl and his
comrades in the concentration camps. There it was shown without doubt that
one’s chances to bear horrible conditions and survive are greater when one has
some value that gives meaning to one’s survival. Frankl used to cite the
philosopher Nietzsche’s contention that if one knows the why of his suffering, he
can bear almost any how.
One can find meaning in life even in the most difficult circumstances. A friend
of mine told me about a seventy-nine-year-old man he met in a hospital. This
patient knew that he was about to die in a matter of weeks from heart disease,
but when he felt strong enough he asked himself what he could do to help oth-
ers whose condition was worse than his. How could he ease their suffering? He
would go from bed to bed, talk with the patients and encourage their spirits. That
was the meaning he found in that place and time of his life. Although there was
nothing he could do to change his fate, or the fact of his impending death, this
did not prevent him from living a spiritually fulfilling life.
A meaningless life is like death. An old woman was depressed because she had no
children and thus she thought that her life had no meaning. Guttmann (1996) cites
a therapeutic discussion Frankl had with this old woman when she was close to her
death. He succeeded in making her aware that a meaningful life is not dependent on

41
42 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

having children. Many famous personalities didn’t experience the pains and pleas-
ures of raising children, yet they were aware of the meaningfulness of their lives.
What is important for an aging person is to achieve something that can give sense
to his or her life. That old woman had loyally served the family she worked with for
many years. She had suffered a great deal as a lonely person, yet had shown courage
in the way she managed her pain and sorrow. When she heard and realized that her
life had meaning, she died peacefully, proud of her achievement (pp. 57–60).
Meaning is a potent force in each and every phase of our lives, irrespective of our
physical, family, occupational, or mental condition. Therefore, it makes sense to
search for meaning in every phase of life, even close to death. There is always some
choice one can make, even in the worst situation. One needs to be aware of one’s
choices and weigh them according to the importance of their meaning for one’s life.
This is a very important principle, especially for the widows and widowers who find
themselves in the situation of Abraham in the Bible, of whom it is said that old age
literally jumped on him when he lost his beloved wife Sarah. While not every wid-
owed man can remarry as Abraham did, each widower or widow can decide not to
succumb to despair and find his or her way by saying “yes” to life.
Human beings have the basic freedom to find meaning in life. In each problem
that one faces there is a measure of freedom to choose the most meaningful
response to the situation at hand.
Recently I met a colleague, a fifty-year-old woman who told me how she used
this principle. When she was forty years old her husband disappeared, together
with the family’s savings. He left a huge debt and the burden of caring for their
four small children on her alone. “At first,” she said, “I developed psychosomatic
reactions and fell ill. I couldn’t function at all. I thought that my life had ended.
This situation lasted for three weeks. I was immersed in my sorrow up to my neck.
But one morning I felt that I must make a decision: To remain psychologically
disabled for life, or to begin a new life. I chose the second option. I collected all
my spiritual strength and overcame the obstacles. Today I am independent,
strong, and successful, and my children are proud of me.”

THE SECOND PRINCIPLE: THE DEFIANT POWER OF

THE HUMAN SPIRIT
The defiant power of the human spirit is very important for survival even in old
age. Frankl coined this term to emphasize the human capacity to not succumb to
destructive internal or external factors. We are not supposed to meekly accept
what life brings us, especially not disasters that fate deposits at our doorstep. We
can revolt against them and turn our defiant power into a tool of survival at any
phase in life. The woman in the case description above is a good illustration of this
power. Two additional illustrations are presented below.
A forty-seven-year-old woman told me that she had a similar experience. She
was born and raised in Eastern Europe, in a small village where traditionally the
man makes all the decisions related to the family’s economic situation. “When he
Guiding Principles of Logotherapy 43

left me for another woman,” she said, “I didn’t know how to write a check. I had
to learn many things about financial matters and simple accounting. I was so used
to the decisions of my husband that I didn’t think independently. And all of a
sudden the responsibilities fell on me. I suffered a lot because of my helplessness,
until the change came in the form of a dream.
“One night I dreamt that I was in a lake without a boat, sinking into the water
and close to drowning. There were no people around the lake that I could turn to
for help. I collected all my strength and began to swim until I got to the shore. When
I woke up I understood that the dream came to tell me that I must begin to swim,
or I would sink and die. I made a decision not to become a victim and started to
swim. Today I am standing on my feet independently, and am happy with my life.”
The second case illustration is Joe, my childhood friend. I encountered Joe after
decades in which we had not seen each other. When we were children we studied
in the same class. He told me that he became head accountant in a large factory and
is now retired. I remembered that as a child he had great difficulties with
mathematics and couldn’t solve most of the problems we got as homework. I even
helped him many times with these problems. And now he tells me that he was head
accountant. When he saw the surprise on my face he laughed, and said that his
father and the math teacher said to him quite often that he would never succeed.
He agreed with that assessment, until one day he decided to show them that they
were mistaken. He worked very hard and succeeded in making progress in an occu-
pation that is built on knowledge of mathematics. He used the defiant power of the
human spirit that was embedded in him and succeeded beyond expectations.

THE THIRD PRINCIPLE: THE THREE HUMAN DIMENSIONS

Human beings have physical, psychological, and spiritual dimensions. People
should never be referred to as “nothing but.” That is, they should never be reduced
to just one of the dimensions listed above, or seen as machines in need of repair.
A therapist who relates only to the psychosocial dimension diminishes the dignity
and self-respect of a human being.
Simon, a fifty-four-year-old man, had suffered from high blood pressure for
the past eight years. The first level in his treatment concentrated on his physical
condition. Simon’s resistance to other medical intervention was overcome by
biofeedback: He found that his blood pressure was connected to the psychological
tension he experienced in his work as manager of the savings department in a
large bank. When various tests supported this finding, the second phase in his
treatment began. This phase concentrated on finding ways to reduce his high
blood pressure through relaxation and autosuggestion. These gave him mental
tranquility and a more lenient attitude toward himself. After this phase in the
treatment was successfully completed came the time to inquire about the concept
of meaning of his life, his goals and plans.
A therapist who refers only to the psychosomatic aspects of his patients reduces
their value as human beings and hurts their self-image. Despite the great strides made
44 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

in medicine during the past few decades, recognition of the importance of the spiri-
tual dimension’s influence on mental health is too slow, or missing to a large extent.

THE FOURTH PRINCIPLE: THE HUMAN SPIRIT IS

THE HEALTHY NUCLEUS IN EACH HUMAN BEING
According to logotherapy, someone can be sick in his body, or in his soul, but
not in his spirit. We saw a moving illustration of this maxim in the story of the
individual with heart failure, who helped terminally ill patients by encouraging
their spirits; and also in the story of the woman whose husband left her and she
fell into despair–until she decided to make a change in her life.
Logotherapy maintains that the human spirit is free and is not chained to an
individual’s body or soul. Consequently, a person is free to choose his or her
reaction to what happens to him or her.

THE FIFTH PRINCIPLE: MAN CAN RISE ABOVE AND BEYOND HIMSELF
The uniquely human ability to rise above and beyond physical or mental
limitations by virtue of love for the sake of another person in need is the fifth
principle. People are capable of performing great feats by tapping into their spirit,
such as donating a liver or a kidney to a sick daughter or son, or excelling in
science, in arts, and in sports when physically disabled.
For example, a sixty-year-old woman donated one of her kidneys to her sick
daughter despite the risk to her own health. This daughter endured dialysis for
many years and underwent two unsuccessful kidney transplant operations. The
kidney she received from her mother gave this daughter a new lease on life for
several years.

THE SIXTH PRINCIPLE: WE HAVE THE CAPACITY FOR

SELF-DETACHMENT
The sixth principle states that we can refrain from constant preoccupation with
ourselves through humor and laughter. We are capable of using these tools to deal
with human weaknesses in a humorous way without being too serious. Frankl
turned the two human capacities, self-transcendence and self-detachment, into
important therapeutic devices in logotherapy.
(These concepts will be dealt with in detail later in this book).

THE SEVENTH PRINCIPLE: WE LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND SHOULD

LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE
Our existence in the present is determined not only by our past, but also by
what we wish to become in the future. We are able and willing to make sacrifices
only when we know that these are necessary for achieving something meaningful
Guiding Principles of Logotherapy 45

for us. We should not live in the past, but concentrate on the present and look for-
ward to goals we wish to accomplish in the future in order to live meaningful lives.
For example, Mrs. Smith, age fifty-eight, became suddenly unemployed after
thirty years as head of a boarding school. She had two options: To enjoy her new
status and refrain from additional work, or to gather her strength and begin
building a new career. She decided to use her life experience, talents, and capa-
bilities in voluntary work with refugees. She defended her choice by saying three
simple words: “They needed me.”

THE EIGHTH PRINCIPLE: EACH MAN IS UNIQUE AND IRREPLACEABLE

Each individual is unique in the world and cannot be replaced by someone
else. Many old people have accepted the popular saying that, “The cemeteries are
full of people that cannot be replaced.” They forget that each human being is
essential and irreplaceable; if he or she were not, there would have been no need
for him or her to exist in the world.
Our uniqueness in the world is expressed by our contribution to its welfare and
preservation; by our creativity and attitude to life; in the way we live and maintain
relationships with others; in the way we carry our pain and suffering; in the way
we use the opportunities that life tosses at us; and in how we deal with feelings
about guilt and death.
We sense the meaning of our lives when we feel our uniqueness. Each one of us
is unique and no one can be replaced by someone else. For example, I knew an artist,
a painter who struggled with various materials for years until he was able to develop
his unique technique and style. Some of his students tried to imitate his work by
using the same means, but their works lacked the uniqueness of their teacher.
One can be unique not only in the creative arts. One’s relationship to the social,
physical and interpersonal environment, to family, friends, and colleagues, to
religion and country are unique to one. Finally, even the search for meaning is
unique. Frankl emphasized that one should not search for an abstract meaning to
life. Each individual has a unique mission on earth and must perform this mission
to the best of his or her ability. One cannot be replaced in this task by someone
else, for only he or she can perform it.

THE NINTH PRINCIPLE: MEANING IS SUBJECTIVE AND CHANGING

Each and every situation in life presents an opportunity for discovering mean-
ing. The individual decides whether to use or to lose the opportunity inherent in
the situation to find that meaning. This meaning is subjective; we cannot buy it,
and we cannot transfer it to others. Each person must discover the unique
meaning of his or her life, for life brings to all of us many opportunities for
finding the unique meaning of our existence.
Seventy-eight-year-old Mrs. Brown, a strong and courageous woman, cared for
her bed-ridden husband for six long and painful years. The physical and mental
46 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

care for her husband gave meaning to her life during those hard times. When her
husband died, she felt a great emptiness within herself and tried to overcome this
void and to fill up her psychological battery by escaping to a life of leisure and
entertainment. Mrs. Brown visited museums, theaters, concerts, the opera, and
the movies, and went from one party to the next. There were no free nights. All
these activities were in vain because she could not find the mental calmness she
was seeking, and life seemed empty and meaningless to her. When she changed
her lifestyle and began to work as a volunteer in a nursing home, she felt that she
had come home and was living again. Suddenly she found what she was searching
for. This discovery gave new meaning to her life.

THE TENTH PRINCIPLE: THE MEANING OF THE MOMENT

It is important to emphasize once again that the meaning of the moment is not
always clear and evident to us. We must be patient in order to discover it. We must
make an intellectual effort to catch it. Missing the opportunity to find meaning in
what life throws our way results in sadness, and sometimes even despair that may
accompany us throughout life.
Let us take seventy-one-year-old Mr. Miller to illustrate this principle. He told
the following story to his therapist: A friend of his was about to retire from the
company where the two of them had worked for many years. This friend came to
consult with Mr. Miller before going to the personnel department where his
pension and future benefits would be decided. Mr. Miller was very busy with some
matter that could not be delayed, and told his friend to come back the next day.
His friend did not show up the next day. He disappeared forever. Mr. Miller forgot
about this incident until he himself was standing before the director of the per-
sonnel office to discuss his retirement and the same thing happened to him. Then
he understood that life gave him an opportunity to help someone in need, but he
did not grab it. He missed the boat.

THE ELEVENTH PRINCIPLE: WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR CHOICES

Responsibility is the ability to respond to the demands of life in a given
moment. Logotherapy, as opposed to various theories still in vogue today, empha-
sizes that we must take personal responsibility for our deeds and mistakes in life.
We are always responsible for the choices we make, for good or bad, and are not
supposed to hide from this responsibility by blaming others for our failures.
Mr. Miller from the previous example was responsible for not using the
opportunity life gave him to assist a friend. He could not project his guilt feelings
onto his friend who didn’t come back the next day. And he could not blame his
work that kept him so busy that he forgot to deal with the request of a friend in
need. If he did so, he could find some temporary relief from his feeling of guilt,
but then he would not make any progress in finding meaning in life.
Guiding Principles of Logotherapy 47

Choices are present in every situation. We only have to be aware of these

choices and weigh them according to their meaning for our lives. Frankl empha-
sized that personal responsibility is the cornerstone of psychotherapy. According
to logotherapy, in each and in every situation in life one always has what Frankl
called “response-ability.” One can respond to a concrete situation by using one’s
freedom of choice. That freedom is available to everybody. Frankl has illustrated
this freedom with his own life experience. In 1988, when he received an honorary
doctorate from the University of Haifa in Israel, he told the audience that when
the Nazis entered Vienna he was thirty-three years old and served as director of
the neurological department for mentally ill patients at the Jewish hospital. The
Nazis agreed to leave him in that position, but on one condition: if he tried to
escape, they would send his old parents to a concentration camp.
One day he received an urgent message to come to the American Embassy in
Vienna for his visa of entry to the United States. He had only twenty-four hours
to do so before the visa would expire. Frankl had waited many years for this mes-
sage. Now he found himself facing a serious dilemma: Here was an opportunity
to go to America, to publish his book on logotherapy and spread its message to
the world. On the other hand, if he did so, his old parents would be left to their
fate. He was torn by this dilemma and tried to find the right answer. He took off
his yellow Star of David, hid it in a briefcase, and went outside the hospital to find
a quiet place for musing. He found refuge in a church, but after an hour or so of
sitting there, he could not arrive at a decision. Brokenhearted, he went home to
his parents. When he entered the apartment, his father came to welcome him. He
showed him a piece of marble he had found in the ruins of the old synagogue in
the city. On this piece of marble there was a golden letter in Hebrew, Kaf—the
beginning letter of the Fifth Commandment: “Honor thy father and thy mother.”
At that time, Frankl said, his dilemma disappeared and the sense of
responsibility won. Frankl perceived in an instant that this was the sign sent
from heaven he had been waiting for, and he decided to stay with his parents, to
share in their fates.
Frankl insisted all his life that we are responsible not only for ourselves, but
also for our deeds, for our loved ones, and for our sufferings. There are two kinds
of responsibilities: inner and outer ones. Outer responsibility is tossed on us by an
outside authority, such as the law, or the state, the family, or religion. Inner
responsibility stems from within, from our spirit. Meaning is not projected from
the outside. It is gained from this freedom of will.

THE TWELFTH PRINCIPLE: SPIRITUAL TENSION

Tension and stress are part and parcel of human existence. These are the two
main enemies of human existence in modern times. According to logotherapy,
one does not need equilibrium or homeostasis to prevent tension. One needs
noetic or spiritual tension to attain personally important goals and objectives in
life. We all need this tension in order to live our lives in such a way that it will be
48 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

meaningful to us. The spiritual tension is a potent force in achieving important

goals. It keeps us ready and willing to do something for our well-being—rather
than letting ourselves sink into apathy, the mortal illness in old age. To illustrate:
James, aged sixty-two, was happy when his request for early retirement was
approved by the Board of Directors in the insurance company he had worked for
during the past twenty five years. He was full as a pomegranate with plans about
all the fun he would have with his wife. And indeed, according to his plans, the
couple went on a long trip around the world. Yet, after their return home, James
became nervous and grouchy, could not relax, and felt that his life had become
empty. James would use the disappointment with himself as a weapon against his
wife, and she was thinking about divorcing him.
There are many people like James who, in their second half of life, wish to retire
as early as possible. They dream of wonderful trips around the globe. They dream
about lying on the beach, enjoying the sun for hours, in an endless chain of
spring-like days somewhere on an island in the Pacific Ocean. And when their
plans are finally fulfilled, they find themselves disappointed. The magic of travel
and time spent lazily in daydreaming suddenly disappears, and boredom,
nervousness, and grouchiness fill their place. They feel as though they were
cheated by life. The freedom from the tensions in their former work does not
produce the rest they sought. That tension, which Frankl has called spiritual or
noetic tension (from the Greek word noos, meaning spirit), is a healthy tension. It
is the opposite of homeostasis, or balance in psychoanalysis.
Mental health, Frankl maintained, is based on a measure of tension between
what has been already achieved and what one wishes to accomplish. When one has
fulfilled a certain goal, this tension comes and reminds one that the time has come
to search for new goals and objectives that would fill one’s life with meaning. One
does not need a state of nirvana, a tensionless state. One needs to be motivated to
find new goals and to struggle toward accomplishing them.

THE THIRTEENTH PRINCIPLE: DISCOVERING MEANING IN

LIFE IS NOT A GIFT, BUT AN ACHIEVEMENT
An individual does not know his or her limitations as long as life does not force
him or her to test them. It is impossible to give meaning to other people. Each
human being must discover his or her personal meaning according to his or her
understanding, abilities, and efforts. We can only help someone to make the
necessary steps that would lead that individual to discover meaning in his or her
life. The logotherapist serves only as a teacher or guide for this purpose.
For example: A young man in his forties was suffering from self-deprecation.
This man had a dream that wires popped out of his heart, and all his efforts to
push them back were in vain. He told the therapist about his failure, and
compared the wires to a spider’s web that engulfed him and made him immobile.
He was afraid to do anything to change this situation, for he didn’t believe in him-
self. The therapist helped him to make a change in his attitude toward himself by
Guiding Principles of Logotherapy 49

emphasizing his achievements along with his failures; achievements that no one
could take away from him. The emphasis on the achievements–rather than on the
failures–helped the client to see himself in a new and different light. He received
support from an authority. The therapist urged this man to take responsibility for
his life in the present, rather than dwelling on the past. This young man told the
therapist that there were people in his life who had helped him to get out of
difficult situations. The insight this client received from the therapeutic dialogue
made a turn in his life: He found meaning in the effort that he would have to make
to fulfill his dream—to free himself from the spider’s web in which he was
entangled, without fear of failure.

THE FOURTEENTH PRINCIPLE: A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARD LIFE

Personal and spiritual growth and development are the results of change. This
change is expressed in one’s positive attitude to life. Therapy is needed only when
the change is not accompanied by a feeling of growth.

THE FIFTEENTH PRINCIPLE: HAPPINESS IS

A BY-PRODUCT OF MEANING IN LIFE
The last principle for meaningful living states that life does not owe us
pleasure, but only meaning that we must find. Happiness and pleasure, wealth and
power, and all other worldly benefits are by-products of finding meaning in life.
At the World Congress for Logotherapy, held in 1984 in San Francisco, Frankl
was asked by one of the participants what is the meaning of his life. Frankl
answered without hesitation: “To help other people discover meaning to their
lives.” Frankl was not interested in money, in luxuries, or pleasures, not even in
enduring fame. Frankl was interested in living a meaningful life. Like King
Solomon in the Bible, Frankl asked for wisdom to help people whose lives were
lacking in meaning.
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 6

The Courage to Be Authentic:

Philosophical Sources of
Logotherapy

After discussing the principles of logotherapy in the previous chapter, we shall

dive into their depth and examine them in their philosophical sources.
The problem of human existence is age-old, and so is the philosophical attitude
toward this problem. This problem takes on special importance in the second half
of life when we become aware—more than in the previous phases of life—of our
impending death, and try to understand whether or not there is a meaning to life
and existence, and how this existence will be perceived by the generations to come.
The problem is that few people are capable of living their lives in such a way that
their values and creativity are combined with enthusiasm, dedication, and joy that
help in overcoming despair and preoccupation with thoughts of death. Most
people, particularly old people, live their lives on a low spiritual level and allow
time to carry them. They live for the moment without asking themselves, “Why?”
This kind of living is like living in a vacuum, and it lacks meaning.

NIETZSCHE AND LOGOTHERAPY

As we have seen, the meaning of an individual’s life cannot come from the out-
side. Meaning is always an internal journey, an internal search. This idea was taken
from the philosophy of Nietzsche and from his attitude toward human behavior.
Friedrich Nietzsche, an eccentric genius who lived in the second half of the
nineteenth century—from 1844 until 1900—was unique among the great
philosophers of modern times. His literary style too was unique, and his clear-
wittedness and originality were phenomenal. His importance in philosophy is
commonly accepted today. In Ecce Homo: How One Becomes What One Is (1997a),
Nietzsche praised himself unashamedly and predicted that his fame would spread
in the world a hundred years after his death.

51
52 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

His prophecy has become reality. Nietzsche said that whoever takes one of his
books in hand will feel that he or she has been given the most precious gift that
can be given to man (p. 55). Nietzsche had a special relationship with another
great philosopher, whom he considered almost equal to him, Schopenhauer. In his
recently published book titled My Sister and Me (2004), Nietzsche wrote that his
place in history is almost secure, but when he remembers Schopenhauer, who was
a whole person despite his faults, more attentive and madder than Nietzsche could
ever be, he cannot forgive him (p. 117).
This original philosopher revolted against all the previous philosophies and
commonly accepted social mores that had influenced mankind for long centuries
prior to his appearance on the scene of world history. Nietzsche assumed that the
development of science and critical thinking in Western history and civilization
led to the loss of mankind’s ability to believe in what is beyond reach—meaning
the concept of God—as the basis for life. Nietzsche expressed his philosophy in a
series of publications that were unique and stunning in terms of their ideas, rich-
ness of opinions, deep knowledge of history, mythology, poetry, music, and intel-
lectual thought. Nietzsche emphasized that concepts such as world order, God’s
will, and reason are nothing more than the creations of human thought. They
have no power over our lives and cannot tell us how to live our lives. He tried to
shape a vision of healthy life. Accordingly, he said that people could gain such
health when they are willing to forego their belief in those antiquated and
outdated concepts.
Nietzsche was also the first psychologist in the modern sense of this term.
There are many thinkers who consider Nietzsche the first psychoanalyst in the
Western world. His importance for logotherapy is even greater, for he laid the
foundation for the theory of mankind’s spiritual motivation in life. Although
Freud thought that our behavior and basic motivation in life are vested in the will
to experience pleasure and Adler thought that it was in power and in ruling
others, Frankl perceived human motivation as being centered on discovering
meaning in life. This idea was actually taken from Nietzsche’s attitude toward
human behavior.
Nietzsche has shown in his writings how dependent we became on the values
that were created by our values. We are not able to move without them in our daily
lives, for without them we have no yardstick by which to judge the quality of our
actions. Therefore we are limited because of them. This paradox in Nietzsche’s
attitude toward values forces us to think, and to find our place in the world of
values without getting towed away to nihilism.
According to Nietzsche, it is not possible to accomplish a work of great art
without experience. Nor is it possible to attain high social standing immediately;
nor to become a great lover at the first attempt. In the pause between failures and
subsequent successes, in the gap between what we wish to become one day and
what we are today, must come pain, anxiety, jealousy, and humiliation. This atti-
tude toward the present and future is one of many ideas Frankl has incorporated
into logotherapy.
The Courage to Be Authentic 53

How can one recognize the healthy individual? It is in the way this individual
influences our senses with the pleasantness of his or her appearance and ways.
Such a person is hard, yet noble, as if carved from a fine tree, finds medication and
cures to all problems, turns each obstacle to advantage, for what does not kill him
or her, strengthens him or her. Such a person does not believe in sin, or in misery;
knows how to manage himself or herself and others; knows to forget, and is strong
enough to turn everything in his or her favor. From these aphorisms we can
deduce what Nietzsche would have said about finding meaning in the second half
of life.

FREEDOM TO CHOOSE
In addition to the philosophers of antiquity and the modern era, Frankl was
heavily influenced by the philosophy of Nietzsche. Consequently, Frankl incorpo-
rated many concepts of this great philosopher into the theory of logotherapy, such
as the attitude toward health and sickness. Nietzsche built his philosophy on say-
ing yes to life, and so did Frankl. And it is not just coincidence that Frankl’s most
famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning (1962), was originally titled in German
Trotzdem Ja zum Leben Sagen (1982), in English: “Despite Everything Say Yes to
Life.” Nietzsche used the term “despite everything” in his book Thus Spoke Zarathus-
tra in order to denote his attitude toward life; accordingly all portentous things are
created by this “despite everything.”
For Frankl this “despite” was expressed in the unconditional acceptance of life,
for only while living can one create experience, transcend difficulties, and acquire
meaning. Frankl’s experiences in life strengthened his concepts and ideas regard-
ing human existence in the world. Frankl always emphasized one’s spiritual com-
mitment to life, to one’s role and purpose. What human beings give to life, and the
way in which they deal with the problems and difficulties that life poses them,
determine the meaning of their lives. A positive attitude toward life and its accept-
ance without reservations, despite any condition or price, resembles old Jewish
traditional values which perceive life as sacred. The sanctity of life is expressed in
the saying: “Who saves one life—saves a whole world.”
Nietzsche and Frankl held similar attitudes about freedom and choice. An indi-
vidual is perceived by both philosophers as one who craves freedom as he or she
craves air to breathe; one who is capable of choosing his or her way in life. In all
of Nietzsche’s philosophical works one can see how historical and biological fac-
tors work as if behind mankind’s back, and influence the decisions of people with-
out their being aware of it. Even when the limitations are perceived and identified,
there remains the belief in one’s ability to rise above one’s condition and to be the
master of one’s fate. The choice that exists in any situation, according to logotherapy,
has its source in Nietzsche’s concept of philosophy.
Frankl emphasizes that choice is available to us in any situation, even in those
that seem to be hopeless and offer no chance of survival or success. We can always
say “yes” or “no” to what happens to us and to what stands in front of our eyes as
54 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

a matter of choice. Nietzsche demonstrated this ability of one to choose how to

spend one’s life in his own life-long struggle with the many illnesses that befell
him, until he succumbed to an incurable mental illness from which he suffered
ten years without respite.
Freedom for Frankl meant taking personal responsibility for the results of
one’s actions. Frankl objected to collective conventions and conformity to social
pressures, and emphasized that freedom results from a deep commitment to life.
Real freedom exists only when one is aware of the choices and the options, when
one willingly accepts the responsibility for the choices made and for their results.

THE COURAGE TO BE AUTHENTIC

Bertolt Brecht (1898–1956), the well-known playwright and poet, demon-
strated the attitudes of Frankl and Nietzsche toward freedom, choice, and
responsibility, in his short story “The Undignified Old Lady,” in which he tells
about his grandmother. She was seventy-two years old when his grandfather
died. The grandfather owned a print shop in the small town of Baden in Germany,
in which he worked along with two helpers until his death. The family lived in a
dilapidated house. Grandmother took care of five children and cooked and
washed for the few boarders who lived with the family. She worked very hard for
many years.
When the grandfather died the only child who remained in the same town
was the youngest, and it was he who supplied the information about grand-
mother’s fate to the rest of his brothers. He reported that grandmother decided
to curtail her family obligations to the bare minimum and refused to move into
the house of this youngest son. She did not join any club or social circle in the
town either. Instead, she used to visit the shoemaker’s shop. It was said that he
had traveled in the world and drank a lot. Grandmother would sit in the shop,
listen to the stories and sip a little red wine. She also stopped cooking for her-
self and ate at a small restaurant, and when the priest came to ease her loneli-
ness, she would invite him to go with her to the cinema. Furthermore,
grandmother regularly visited the horse races. She secretly took out a second
mortgage on the house, and nobody knew what she did with the money. It
seems that she gave most of it to the shoemaker, who moved to another city after
her death and opened a larger shop.
Brecht tells in the story that his father, the youngest son, found that in the
last half year of her life, grandmother took liberties of which most people in
the town were completely unaware. She would get up in the middle of the night
and enjoyed strolling in the empty streets. She was not lonely at all. When she
died sitting next to the window in her favorite armchair, only a young and
mentally limited girl was with her. Grandmother lived seventy-four years, and
had a long life full of hard work and suffering until she reached age seventy-two.
But in her last two years of life she tasted freedom and enjoyed her life to the
fullest.
The Courage to Be Authentic 55

Courage as a unique human virtue is among the four cardinal virtues the
ancient Greek philosophers regarded as essential for anyone interested in serving
the public. This courage is unlike the one exhibited in the battlefield; it is unlike
courage forged by lack of any other choice but to fight for the principles and values
that are most important to one. This courage means taking full responsibility for
the decisions one makes and for the actions one voluntarily accepts.
Like Sigmund Freud, who was expelled from the Prussian Academy of Sciences
and was not allowed to teach at the University of Vienna in Austria due to his ideas
about human sexual behavior being the major motivation in life, and yet contin-
ued to develop his psychoanalysis without fear; and like Nietzsche, who showed
extraordinary courage in the face of the Church by clinging to his philosophical
belief, and who despite his illness and economic difficulties did not waver, Frankl
too was blessed with this unique trait and virtue. Thus he can serve as a model for
any man, old or young. The courage of Frankl never left him and was expressed
in many areas of his life. This courage—more than any other philosophical
concept—Frankl borrowed from Nietzsche for the development of logotherapy,
and he demonstrated it in his life.
Frankl’s courage was expressed early when at age sixteen he rebelled against a
chemistry teacher’s assertion that human beings are no more than machines with
internal combustion. Frankl’s protest at that incident later became the corner-
stone of logotherapy. Frankl fought all his life against any attempt to reduce and
rob somebody of human dignity by stating that a person is no more than a
machine in need of repair—whether in medicine or in psychology.
His courage led Frankl to the development of logotherapy as a theory of
motivation in human behavior, separate and different from the theories of his
teachers Freud and Adler. Frankl admired both of these men, was influenced by
them, and learned much from them in medicine and psychiatry. He never forgot
the debt owed to these men by the scientific world, and always emphasized that
it was Freud who laid the foundations for modern psychology and psychother-
apy, while Adler made contributions to both. Nevertheless, Frankl had the
courage to depart from their theories and to establish his own approach to
human behavior.
Frankl’s height psychology is a testimony to this courage. As indicated before,
climbing in the Alps strengthened his natural tendency to look upon men and
women as spiritual beings whose central will is to carry out an idea, a mission for
the attainment of which they were born. Realization of ideas or a mission is
possible only in the spiritual dimension, in the notion of freedom, and in the
knowledge and awareness that a person is not chained in spirit; that there are
peaks in development one can yearn for; and that a person has powers that enable
him or her to conquer any peak. This is why Frankl placed these human traits at
the center of logotherapy.
Nietzsche’s influence on Frankl is evident in the latter’s attitude toward religion.
Frankl wrote a doctoral thesis to explain the logotherapeutic use of concepts, such
as the spiritual unconscious, conscience, and medical ministry. Contrary to Nietzsche,
56 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

who negated religion, Frankl saw religion positively, as a necessary power for good
mental health.

ON FOLLOWING A CLOUD
Frankl compared the uniqueness of an individual’s way in life to the Biblical
story about the wanderings of the Hebrews in the desert after the exodus from
Egypt where they were slaves. God’s cloud that led them there was used by Frankl
to illustrate the goal that should lead those who follow it. And in the same way
that this cloud was different during the day and at night, when it became a pillar
of fire, so are various events in life and the problems with which one must strug-
gle. Yet God’s cloud had another characteristic: it was always above and in front of
the heads of its followers, and it could not be reached. People could only follow it,
and get close to it, if not physically then mentally. For this cloud symbolizes the
spiritual dimension with which one is blessed and by which one is able to work
wonders. This approach to one’s spiritual dimension has important implications
for mental health, and Frankl made good use of it in the methodology of
logotherapy.
Frankl adopted the view of Goethe, the German poet, writer, and philosopher,
who said that if we wish to help someone who is in distress, or suffering from a
conflict or a dilemma he or she cannot solve, we should not look upon him or her
as he or she is now, but should approach him or her as he or she could be in the
future. Changing one’s attitude toward self and the world is possible by use of the
spiritual dimension. People are blessed with the ability to take a stand against
the circumstances of life, fate, genetic inheritance, education, and all other influ-
ences in their long years of growing up. This applies especially to people who
suffer from illnesses. They should be reminded that only their bodies are sick, not
their spirits, and they can always take a stand against what ails them. They can
choose their attitude toward the circumstances of their existence.

PAIN, BOREDOM, AND HAPPINESS

Arthur Schopenhauer, the German philosopher who lived between 1788 and
1860, and who is generally regarded as the greatest pessimist of all the philoso-
phers, doubted the great truths that encompass the entire human race. He fought
valiantly against the moral and intellectual fatigue of mankind, and related to
human existence as a mistake, of which he said, “Today is bad and each day is
getting worse, until the worst will happen” (cited by De Botton, [2000], in The
Consolations of Philosophy, p. 171).
Schopenhauer exhibited a negative attitude toward life, a view which
logotherapy rejects. In his view, life lacks meaning; life is a web of despair, and
meaningless, and therefore the best answer to such a life is suicide. Behind this
pessimistic approach to life were a series of failures in relation to his early philo-
sophical works and in love. His pessimism about life was peculiar considering
The Courage to Be Authentic 57

that, according to his biography, at age seventeen he inherited a large fortune

from his father and he never had to work for a living. Although he could have
lived a life of leisure and indulgence, he preferred loneliness to the company of
others. Only in the last decade of his life did he gain the fame which he so des-
perately yearned for. But even this unexpected success did not change his attitude
toward life. He remained convinced until his death that human existence is an
incorrigible mistake.
Schopenhauer’s philosophy may be seen as a reflection of the aesthetic and
intellectual currents of his time, while his pessimistic outlook on life is tied to
events he experienced and which influenced his philosophical system. In his phi-
losophy, will and idea are central concepts, and his major work centers on both.
According to Schopenhauer, the more a human being is conscious about life, the
more he or she is able to recognize that life consists of suffering. The will is
directed toward satisfaction and expansion, yet both are doomed to failure. Life
is not meant to be enjoyed, but to be endured and ended. One can choose one of
two alternatives. One can look upon the will positively, with a clear mind, and
accept life as it is, with all that has happened in it and will happen in the future.
This attitude toward life is echoed in the work of Erik Erikson (1959) with
respect to the last phase of life, meaning old age, and its requirement that we
attain wisdom.
Schopenhauer arrived at his general philosophical position early in his life,
and all his works are further developments of the same basic initial ideas. He
insisted that will is more basic than thought in both humans and nature. His will
to exist was adopted by Frankl, along with the concept of the will. Schopenhauer
also maintained that one can attain moral goodness by unselfish compassion
for others. This concept lies behind the appealing technique in the logothera-
peutic treatment of depression and despair, for example, when all other means
are useless.
Schopenhauer wrote a book late in his life in which he in fact negated his own
philosophical theory. The book was called Life Wisdom (2001). Despite the fact
that he did not perceive this work as his most important one, the picture that
emerges in it regarding life is quite positive. In this book Schopenhauer claims
that he is using the term “life wisdom” in its inner meaning. This meaning is
expressed by the art through which one shapes one’s life; through which one
makes one’s life happy and pleasant. This book also contains an important chapter
on the differences among the various phases in a person’s life, making it particu-
larly important for modern gerontology in that it shows the way to attain a happy
life. This happy life is one that, even after careful, rational, and cold consideration,
is preferable to nonexistence. This is life we hold on to for itself, not only from fear
of death, and therefore we would like to see it as being infinite.
Schopenhauer emphasizes that we spend the first half of life longing for hap-
piness that cannot be achieved, and the second half worrying about disasters. In
that phase of our lives we already understand that happiness exists only in our
imagination, while suffering is real. While in adolescence and in young adulthood
58 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

life seems long and projects forward and far away, in the latter years life is
perceived as short, and gets shorter with each passing year.
One understands the shortness of life only after one gets old. Until age thirty-six,
which for Schopenhauer symbolized the middle of life, we live from the interest,
for the force of life we use renews itself again and again. Later on we begin to use
the capital too; at first in small sums, then at a faster tempo. The same holds true
for our spiritual energy and for its elasticity; these are abundant in the first half of
life, until age forty at the latest, and from then on they diminish slowly and grad-
ually. Yet there is compensation for this loss—knowledge and experience—which
in the second half of life grow and become richer.
Schopenhauer claimed that the first forty years give us the text of life, and the
next thirty years (today forty or even fifty) the explanation of the text. This expla-
nation reveals the meaning of our lives. Only in old age is one really able to under-
stand oneself, said Schopenhauer, but on one condition: That one is absolutely
sincere with oneself. The old individual frees himself or herself from the illusions
of the young, is able to judge the true value of things, and recognizes the insignif-
icance of material things. He or she ceases to be amazed from what is going on in
the world, and stops believing in happiness.
Many people pursue all kinds of roles, honors, and social status in the second
half of life, stating that these provide sense to their lives, while actually they are
running away from boredom. When these people get old, they are unable to pur-
sue these same enterprises. They feel boredom and emptiness. People who
develop their spiritual powers find themselves free of boredom all their lives,
including their old age in particular.
At the other end of that experience are pain and suffering. Like boredom,
suffering and pain are two experiences very likely to be encountered in old age.
Spiritual powers help in the struggle against boredom and against certain kinds of
suffering. Yet these are not enough. There is a need for economical resources too.
Whoever lives in poverty and destitution is at times helpless to rise above the pain
and suffering in his or her circumstances.
Schopenhauer was aware of the contradictions between his high philosophy, with
its negation of human existence, and this book in which he relates favorably to life in
this world. But he also hastened to emphasize that all of his assumptions are tempo-
rary and far from being whole, for the subject cannot be dredged to its very bottom.
Following the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, Schopenhauer too divided
human life into three parts: external things, the psyche, and the body. Differences
in the fates of human beings he based on three things: The personality of a person,
including his or her health, beauty, mood, moral character, understanding and
education; his or her wealth and resources in the broadest sense; and his or her
role. Of these Schopenhauer referred mainly to the last, the role of a person.
Schopenhauer saw in this role the reflection of a person in the eyes of others, as
they imagine this person in their mind’s eye and their opinion of him or her.
These are expressed in the honor, respect, status, and good name accorded to that
person (2001, p. 7).
The Courage to Be Authentic 59

According to Schopenhauer, the character of an individual is the result of

nature’s creation. This character affects our happiness or misery more than the
qualities of personality and wealth. For the one’s character stems from one’s inner
self—not from outer factors. These factors influence one’s behavior indirectly.
The essence of the world in which one lives is perceived differently by each human
being, exactly as one intellect is different from another. Therefore one person
perceives the world as poor, dull, meaningless, and flat, and another as vibrant,
exciting, rich, interesting, and meaningful. One lives in one’s conscious world and
cannot hide from it. It is impossible to help someone from the outside. This asser-
tion is problematic for those psychotherapies that are built on the assumption
that an individual can be helped by raising the unconscious content of his or her
mind and thus influencing his or her conscious behavior.
In terms of our happiness in life, Schopenhauer says that personality is the
most important factor, for it is not subject to fate and is efficient in any circum-
stance. Personality cannot be stolen, and therefore its value is absolute and not rel-
ative, as is the value of the other two factors mentioned above, wealth and
resources. Only time has some control over the powers of body and psyche. Per-
sonality, however, is a gift of nature that remains constant throughout life, and the
only thing we can do about it is to use it for our greatest benefit. We must there-
fore develop our personality gradually but steadily, support its most noble goals
and objectives, give it the highest status, the most appropriate occupation and the
life style of which it is worthy, and refrain from anything that goes against it.
Schopenhauer (2001) has also emphasized that one’s happiness has two relent-
less enemies, pain and boredom, and that there is a connection between the two:
In the same measure that an individual succeeds in escaping from the one, he or
she gets closer to the other. Our lives are in perpetual motion between these two
poles. Sometimes the motion is strong, and at other times it is weak. In terms of
the external aspect, need and lack cause pain, while abundance and security cause
boredom. Thus we see the poor in an eternal struggle with need and pain, and the
very rich groups in society in a despairing struggle with boredom (pp. 23–24).
According to Schopenhauer, only those who can rise above seeing the world as
full of suffering can triumph over it. When one sees the world for what it really is,
one learns to renounce all strivings and will. Then the individual is blessed with
grace, which Schopenhauer believed to be equivalent to salvation.
Frankl emphasized that the boredom Schopenhauer spoke about has an
important role. Boredom is a warning bell. It exists in order to allow us escape
from lack of activity, and to identify meaningless situations in our lives. As in biol-
ogy, where pain warns us that something is wrong in our body, so boredom warns
against something that is not in order in our mental and spiritual life.

STRUGGLE FOR SAYING “YES” TO LIFE

Existentialism was born during the Second World War and flowered afterward
when Europe, destroyed by the war, experienced hunger, the collapse of traditional
60 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

values regarding family life and morals, and when life seemed absurd, for all the
previous ideologies were then found to be empty of value and meaning.
The central questions people were asking at that time were the same ones that
are asked each time a great calamity falls upon society: Why survive? Is life worth
all this suffering? Is it not better to commit suicide? In the second half of life we
may find ourselves in a similar situation when we must retire from work against
our will and lose livelihood and social status; when our health deteriorates, the
self-image is hurt and we feel superfluous in the world.
I met Elisabeth, aged fifty-two, in a major city on the West Coast. She was
afraid that her fate would be similar to that of her mother, who struggled with
pain and torment for years and died of breast cancer. Elisabeth began to study
medicine to overcome her fear, but was not able to deal with her lack of hope. She
left her studies and tried to forget about cancer; even managed to cheat herself for
some time, but all her struggle was in vain. When she found symptoms of cancer
in her body, she was forced to realize that the cancer had struck her too. The dis-
covery of this illness tormented her a great deal. Elisabeth asked herself again and
again: Why survive? Why suffer? Is there any hope for recovery, or that some new
medication would wipe out cancer? Is it not better to die now and avoid addi-
tional suffering? A while later she began to think about suicide in earnest. And
indeed, after a few years I heard that she ended her life tragically.
The case of Elisabeth is not unique. Recently I heard about the suicide of a
sixty-eight-year-old man with many accomplishments who was struck by
Alzheimer’s disease. This man too preferred to commit suicide rather than
become a burden on his family.
Albert Camus, the writer and philosopher known for his books that stress the
absurdity of life, gave a positive answer to these questions. Camus said that by
accepting the absurdity called life, and by willing it consciously, one is able to
overcome one’s fate. In his important work The Plague and The Myth of Sisyphus
(1991), Camus presents a tragic and absurd hero. Sisyphus was condemned by the
gods to roll a stone up to the top of a hill forever; upon reaching the top, the stone
would roll back and he had to start working again and again endlessly. The gods
thought that this punishment of Sisyphus, who betrayed their secret and rebelled
against their will, would break his spirit, for there is no worse thing then work
without hope and utility. Yet, the gods were mistaken. Sisyphus’s spirit did not
break! He won a moral victory!
The torture of Sisyphus by the gods seems inhuman and terrible, and yet
Camus says: “At the moment this man is returning from the top of the mountain
I see him walking erect and with measured steps toward the torture whose end he
will never see, and every time he leaves the top of the mountain he transcends his
fate. He is stronger than the stone that he must push upward” (p. 124).
Camus emphasizes that this myth is tragic because the hero is conscious of his
fate. Sisyphus is aware of his situation and thinks about it when he descends from
the hill. This is the time when his tragedy begins. Despite his blindness, he is aware
that each atom in this rock, each drop of mineral in the mountain creates a world
The Courage to Be Authentic 61

in itself. The struggle on the way to the top of the mountain is enough to fill his
heart with joy. Sisyphus bursts into a roar: “All these suffering, my advanced years
and greatness of my spirit bring me to conclude that everything is good” (p.125).
According to the theory of logotherapy, the struggle to achieve meaning in life
is the most important struggle. There are many aging people who cease to con-
tinue the struggle, and now they expect that someone else will give meaning to
their lives. But life empty of content is no less hard than the life of Sisyphus. Even
if the struggle means suffering, pain, and disappointment, these strengthen the
spirit. As long as one struggles, one is alive emotionally. One gets more mature,
more seasoned, and richer spiritually by the struggle. Sisyphus found meaning in
his suffering, and that meaning gave him the strength to carry on his suffering and
to find a few minutes of grace.

THE IMPACT OF SCHELER ON LOGOTHERAPY

The philosopher Max Scheler (1874–1928) had a major impact on the devel-
opment of Frankl’s logotherapy (Frankl, 1985, p. 17). This philosopher is known
as one of the founding fathers of modern phenomenology. Scheler influenced
many other thinkers and philosophers in the twentieth century, particularly
Martin Buber, Gabriel Marcel, and Ludwig Binswanger.
Scheler (1973) foresaw a harmony between God, the self, and the world. This
harmony enables the human spirit to collaborate with personal freedom and
responsibility. Scheler’s philosophy emphasizes that meaning exists in investiga-
tion of the noos, or spirit in ancient Greek, and this spirit pushes one to discover
how to become a human being, one that carries values. His philosophy is realistic,
for it puts the burden on the shoulders of the self and on one’s place in the world.
The worldview of Scheler was elective. He maintained that the world is per-
ceived by people in a special way, subjectively, and any division into levels or
dimensions, such as the biological, psychological, and spiritual, which is regarded
as scientific pluralism, misses the mark. A human being, according to Scheler
(1960), is one unit that cannot be divided, and when we relate to one or two lev-
els or dimensions, we disregard a person’s existence. Scheler also claimed that one
lives in all three dimensions together (body, soul, and spirit) and is therefore free
to discover how these dimensions function together and create the personality
and its relationship to the world. Frankl adopted this approach of Scheler’s to life
and to an individual’s place in the world.
In Scheler’s view, a person is not a substance or an object, but the concrete
unity of acts. A person is essentially both an individual and a member of a com-
munity, a view Frankl accepted and incorporated into logotherapy. The unity of
the three dimensions creates harmony. Freedom and responsibility are expres-
sions of this harmony. The essence of a person, according to Scheler, is not vested
in his or her will, nor in his or her thinking, but in love. Humans are loving crea-
tures. The idea of God is the major value. Therefore love of God is the highest
form of love.
62 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

In his approach to the spirit of an individual, Scheler differentiated between

control and guidance. The spirit does not control one’s actions and decisions, but
rather guides one. The spirit helps to express intentions, to select and to decide in
what to invest one’s strength and resources. Experience gives validity to life and is
necessary for judging the authentic intentions of an individual.
Scheler was influential in Frankl’s attitude toward the concepts of fate and
destiny. Fate for Scheler was a given of life that is blind to values, and limited to
those events in our lives that are determined by our character traits. In contrast,
destiny is not what happens to the self, but an integral part of selfhood. The dif-
ferentiation Scheler made between fate and destiny was used by Frankl to explain
logotherapy’s attitude toward destiny, because it is tied to the way we respond to
what happens in our lives.
Another concept which Frankl adopted from the philosophy of Scheler is
creative tension, an expression of the human spirit, which Frankl turned into
noetic or spiritual tension. It is based on the understanding that the human spirit
serves as guide, rather than control, yet it needs tension to create something. The
spirit is the dimension which enables one to make choices and to express inten-
tions, while the tension pulls one not to succumb to the temptation of homeosta-
sis, or balance, between the physiological and the psychological dimension that
Frankl calls stability without growth.
Scheler was also influential in Frankl’s adoption of the concept of the individ-
ual as bearer of values, a person aware of his or her own self-worth and of the value
of others.
Scheler and Frankl agree that the noetic or spiritual dimension is the key to self-
understanding. Both agree that this dimension serves as the internal quality that
makes a person. They also agree that sometimes this dimension is blocked or
ignored, yet it cannot become sick. In their view, one’s ability to rise above and
beyond oneself in special circumstances and situations for a loved one, for an adored
person or ideal, is an aspect of the spiritual dimension. This dimension enables one
to attain a perspective on life and its purpose. Finally, both of them agree that the
spiritual dimension gives strength to live life creatively and to discover meaning.
Conscience is the central part of the spiritual dimension. An individual can
remain free to hear or to ignore the voice of conscience. The individual is unique,
say Scheler and Frankl, because he or she carries the capacity for good or bad. One
can decide to elevate oneself to the level of saints, or to sink to the level of an
animal. Furthermore, conscience serves as a tool for the progress of mankind.
One’s ability to transcend oneself is another concept shared by Scheler and
Frankl. It is through self-transcendence that one attains both perspective and direc-
tion for life. Self-transcendence is expressed through a task worth doing and/or a
person to love, and these two correspond with Scheler’s concept of ordering of love.
Scheler considered people not only as thinking beings but also and most
importantly as loving beings. Therefore, wherever a person’s heart pulls him or
her, there he or she finds the center and essence of things. Frankl added that only
the search for meaning can lead an individual toward meaningful living. As a
The Courage to Be Authentic 63

result of this search, one’s heart can accept the past, live a responsible life in the
present, and plan the future realistically and with optimism.

CHOOSING ONE’S UNIQUE WAY IN LIFE

Existential philosophy sees the birth, life, and death of a human being as basic
situations. These are equal for all human beings: We are born, we have to work for
a living, we have to live in a world with other human beings, and we have to die. Yet
these basic situations are personal and we cannot make generalizations about them.
The purpose and the essence of one’s life are not given by an authority, such as
God or Nature. Each one needs to define who he or she is by his or her own
actions. We are born into a world that we didn’t choose, and we must define our
identities and our basic characteristics in the way we live our lives. Human beings
determine their destinies. They create themselves. They are responsible for their
lives, for they have free wills. This freedom enables them to decide how to deal
with the social and biological conditions in which they live.
Since we are creating ourselves, we must take full responsibility for our actions
and for molding our lives. Logotherapy places personal responsibility in the cen-
ter of its theory. Accordingly, one must take responsibility for one’s existence. The
emphasis on personal responsibility is the opposite of the exaggerated freedom of
choice that is characteristic of our times. This freedom has resulted in a chaos of
values, since it was not followed by personal responsibility for one’s actions.
An individual’s uniqueness is expressed in the personal goals that he or she
chooses for himself or herself; in his or her imagination and creativity, that are
always unique and cannot be mimicked by someone else; in his or her love for
other human beings and for ideas and spiritual creations; in his or her humor; in
the way he or she takes responsibility for his or her actions; and in the measure of
his or her pity and compassion with which he or she behaves toward people that
hurt him or her.

BUBER’S PHILOSOPHY AND INFLUENCE ON FRANKL’S LOGOTHERAPY

Martin Buber was one of the leading philosophers in the twentieth century. His
relationship to human behavior is detailed in his famous book I and Thou (1994).
Human relationships attain their validity in the emphasis on we. By the relation-
ship between I and thou, an individual arrives at a higher dimension of the self, at
his or her spiritual dimension. When this happens, then we speak about self-
transcendence, which is one of the major logotherapeutic concepts coined by
Frankl. Logotherapy has adopted Buber’s philosophical relationships to human
beings, and particularly his emphasis on face-to-face and direct relationships in
which the parties to this relationship are perceived as equals.
Buber gave a poetic description of this relationship in his book titled Between
Man and Man (1975). In this book, Buber describes a dream that kept returning
to him in exactly the same way, sometimes after years. He called this dream “the
64 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

double cry.” The dream happens in some cave or building made of clay, or in a
dense forest. In his dream, he is struggling vigorously with a small animal and
suddenly everything becomes quiet, and he stands alone and cries out. This cry
sounds the same every time and turns into a poem or song, and when it ends his
heart stops beating. But then, from a great distance, another cry comes closer to
him, a cry similar to his own, and this cry is not an echo. This cry appears as a long
series of questions. Each time the cry is different, and each time it is new. And
when the cry is finished, he is stricken with the knowledge that it now happened.
It happened now, only now when there was an answer to his cry.
After he had dreamt this dream in exactly the same way many times, Buber had
a dream that started as usual, but later was different from his previous dreams:
There was no reply to his cry. Buber explains the lack of answer by his waiting for
the answer. Until this dream he had not waited for an answer. The answer came
by itself. Now that he waited for the answer, it refrained from coming. And then
something happened. He opened his entire being to space; he opened himself to
all senses and perceptions. And then the cry appeared all over without sound. It
didn’t come. It was there, and let itself be felt, let itself be heard. Buber describes
how he heard this cry in all of his being, in all of his entity, and it was more whole
than ever. And when the dream came to its end, and he finished absorbing it, he
felt more secure than ever before, for “now it has happened” (pp. 1–3).
The uniqueness of the individual must be preserved in old age too, and even in
death. It is told of Rabbi Bunam, one of the most famous Hasidic rabbis, that
when he was old and blind he said, “I would not like to change places with
Abraham, our forefather. What good would happen to God if Abraham was blind
like me, and Bunam would become Abraham? Instead, I think that I have to try to
become a little more like myself.”
Frankl related the same idea when he maintained that there is no need to
search for an abstract meaning in life (Frankl, 1962). Each human being has a con-
crete and unique task that requires fulfillment. And in this task he cannot be
replaced by someone else. No other philosopher could describe this idea better
than Hillel the Elder, who lived some two thousand years ago and said, “If I am
not for myself—who is for me? And if I am only for myself—what am I? And if
not now—when?” Frankl used this maxim of Hillel to stress humankind’s unique-
ness and ability to elevate human existence to a higher level.
 7

The Concept of Meaning in

Religion and Literature

“What is the meaning of our existence, and what is the meaning of the existence of
all living creatures?” asked Albert Einstein (1934) in his autobiography. To answer
this question, he said, means to be religious. “You ask: Is it reasonable at all to ask
this question? And I answer you: He who finds his own life and the lives of other
people lacking meaning is not only unhappy but is hardly fit to live.” (Einstein,
pp. 13–14)

Questions about the meaning of life were always problematic. They provoked, and
still provoke, heated debates among scientists, philosophers, and religious leaders.
The need to understand the essence of our existence in the world remains as
strong and urgent as it did in the distant past. The difficulty in understanding the
essence of our existence is related to our inability to see life as one link in a chain
that can be compared to other links. It is not surprising therefore that many
people turn to religion as the source of welcome relief from the doubts they
experience about living and the value of life in general.

JEWISH RELIGIOUS ATTITUDES TOWARD MEANING OF LIFE

One harsh winter evening two students of Jewish religious studies arrived at a
small town in Russia. They asked the passersby, “Where is the ritual bath?” They
were told that there is such a bath in town, but that it is built at the foot of a steep
hill and now in this freezing weather the road to the bath is dangerous and nobody
uses it, except an old man that goes there each morning. The two students did not
believe this story and decided to see if it was true. The next day they got up and
saw that indeed an old and weak man was going down the slope with sure steps.
They could hardly follow him and fell frequently on the ice. When they arrived at
the bath, they asked the old man, “How could you go so safely on this road?” The

65
66 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

old man said, “If man is connected to what is above, he can hardly fall on what is
below” (Jacobson, 1995, pp. 231–232).
The late Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the foremost Hasidic leader in
the Jewish world, said that religion and science can dwell together because both
may be regarded as motivating forces in life. He also emphasized that there are two
forms of faith. One is of the children and the ignoramus. For them, faith is blind.
It needs direction and it serves as support because of their weakness. The other
form is the faith of those who have already come a long way in life and have gained
an understanding that there is an obstacle that cannot be passed without faith.
Rabbi Schneerson said, “If we are searching for the truth then we have already laid
the foundation of belief in God. Yet, like in all dynamic relationships, the process
of search is long and hard” (Jacobson, 1995, p. 194).
According to Rabbi Schneerson, there are two approaches in the search for
truth: The human search via science and the search via God. There is no question
that the universe is guided by logic. At the outset, man begins searching for truth
from the outside in, trying to understand various phenomena and then piece
them together like a jigsaw puzzle to make a complete picture.
“Scientists and philosophers peer through the outer layers of the universe to
discover the forces lying within. What we are all actually searching for, whether or
not we acknowledge it, is God, the hand inside the glove. But if we choose instead
to search for the truth from the “inside out,” looking directly through the eyes of
the creator and abiding by His laws, we begin to gain a more complete
understanding of how the world operates and why” (Jacobson, 1995, p. 194). True
science and true religion are two sides of the same coin.
There is a strong connection between science and belief in God. Rabbi
Schneerson had high esteem for the way science has dramatically improved our
living conditions in the material and technological sense. However, he
emphasized, we must understand that science is basically a search and not an
absolute method of knowledge.
Science is based on a number of theories that can be used for good and bad.
Therefore, meaning in life must be based on morals and creativity. The search for
a deeper meaning of life beyond the material encompasses millions and millions of
people all over the world. It does not matter how happy, capable, rich, or talented
we are. Sooner or later we have a need to discover the deeper meaning of life.
Many elderly and young people live in a historical era in which material things
are more valuable than spiritual things. Many people have no idea about God and
what He demands from us. We have a lot of free time, but we fail to fill it up with
spiritual content and meaning. It is difficult to find wise guidance because all the
teachers, politicians, and parents are helpless when confronted with questions
about the meaning of life. Rabbi Schneerson said that man can never be happy if
he does not nourish his soul as he does his body (Jacobson, 1995, p. 3).
Once a man came to him and complained about the lack of meaning in his life.
This man told the Rabbi that he had a good and healthy family and a successful
professional career, but at the end of the day he felt empty and lonely.
The Concept of Meaning in Religion and Literature 67

“Are you leaving time for your soul?” asked the Rabbi.
“How could I find time for my soul when I am so busy with my work and my
family?” answered this man.
“There is an old saying,” said the Rabbi, “that when two men meet this means
two souls against one body. Since bodies are centered in themselves by nature, they
cannot unite their strengths—each one pursues after his physical needs. The souls,
contrary wise, are not egoistic by nature, and therefore when two men combine
their strengths, their souls unite” (Jacobson, 1995, p. 3).
This story implies that in the second half of life it is important to leave time
for spiritual activities. For a religious person such activities may be studying the
Holy Scriptures, devoting himself to literature or music (sacred and secular), or
doing some other leisure time activity that occupies the spirit. By gradually
engaging in such activities, one prepares himself for the years after retirement
when the habit gained would give pleasure and satisfaction to one’s life.
To live a meaningful life, according to Rabbi Schneerson, means to pierce the
hard layers of outside material that cover one’s heart and join the inner energy.
This is not a simple or easy task because the body acts via its senses and the soul
by more refined, noble, and gentle spiritual powers. These cannot be measured or
weighed because man has many mysteries that oppose scientific measurement.
The body tries to hold us to the earth, but the soul has power to lift us up, beyond
the earth and beyond material existence.
A beautiful illustration to this idea was given by Jacobson (1995) in the name
of the Rabbi:

A rabbi when he was a young boy, played with his friends who climbed on a ladder.
All the little children were afraid to climb to the top of the ladder except this boy.
Later his grandfather asked: “Why you were not afraid when all the others did?” The
boy said: “When they climbed up, they looked down. They saw how high they have
arrived and were stricken with fear. But when I climbed, I looked up and saw how
low I still was, and this motivated me to climb higher.” (Jacobson, 1995, p. 7)

The meaning of life in Jewish religious perspective refers to one’s standing

before God and one’s consciousness about this standing. This consciousness is the
content and essence of religious belief. That belief, said Professor Leibovits (1999),
answers the following question: What is the meaning of life? It claims that in
man’s life, irrespective of its length, and only in his life, can man accomplish the
ultimate purpose of his being in the world. This purpose or essence is serving God
(p. 21).
Rabbi Nachman of Breslau (1772–1811), the leader of the Breslau Hasidic move-
ment and its spiritual guide, was known for his mystical approach to the sacred texts
in Judaism. Rabbi Nachman was also a spellbinding storyteller, one who invented
great and mystical stories about all kinds of people. His doctrine reflects man’s
longing for a better world. Rabbi Nachman sought substance and meaning to life.
As a Hasidic rabbi he felt himself at ease with the common people, and could be
equally at home with the downtrodden and the scholar. Rabbi Nachman compared
68 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

this world to a narrow bridge that had a deep abyss on each side. In order to cross
that bridge safely, man has to be equipped with a strong faith and a heroic soul.
Life, according to Rabbi Nachman, contains many troubles, and lots of
depression, sadness, ups, and downs. One who has faith spends his life in happiness
because when things go well and he has what he needs he feels good. And even if the
opposite is true it is still good because he is sure that despite his misery God will take
mercy on him in the future and will end his days happily (Raz, 1986, p. 43).
A religious and philosophical attitude toward life could serve people entering
the second half of life, in which questions about the worthiness of life become
more urgent than before. Carl Gustav Jung, the psychoanalyst, said that the life of
a man is built on two parts: One part from luck and the other part from absence
of luck, and we don’t know ahead of time which part will fall in our lap when we
pass age fifty. We must be ready to accept the good and the bad.

GREAT WRITERS’ ATTITUDES TOWARD MEANING IN LIFE

People and lives have meanings. These meanings are expressed in literature and
poetry in countless ways, but we are the ones that make the interpretations of
their behavior. We give meaning to their thoughts, feelings, characters, personal-
ity, and so forth. Fiction and poems formalize the means by which we answer how
we make and lose meaning. We differ in our perceptions of the meaning in a work
of fiction. One reader is unlike another reader when it comes to eliciting the
meaning intended by the author of the work. It is hard to decide what was really
meant in the text because each work of fiction is dependent on the cultural,
linguistic, and personal vocabulary of its author, and these factors can be
interpreted in many ways.
Each of the great writers from antiquity to the present had his concept of
meaning in life, and each of these writers approached this subject from a
subjective perspective. For example, the old philosopher in Thomas Mann’s
(1955) The Magic Mountain is different from the old hero in Roman Gary’s (1980)
King Solomon’s Dread. Whereas the former is satisfied with philosophizing about
the meaning of life, the latter acquires his meaning by performing many good
deeds for people in social and economic disadvantage. The same applies to the
hero in Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea. His meaning in life comes from
an eternal quest for a great catch and from his struggle with the sharks that rob
him of his triumph. Nevertheless the old man has no bitterness in his heart. The
old man accepts his defeat and goes home to rest and prepare himself for the next
fight for survival in the cruel sea.
In Kundera’s (1990) Immortality, the heroine that comes to see the old poet
and philosopher Goethe is driven by a need for meaning in her life, and she
acquires some of it vicariously from the great poet. In Goethe’s Faust (Part 1),
(Gray, 1965) the aging professor realizes that he has missed the real meaning of
life—love, pleasures, and happiness—when he sacrificed his youth to study.
Faust is willing to sell his soul to the Devil in order to gain back what he missed,
The Concept of Meaning in Religion and Literature 69

only to find out that these delights cannot serve as substitutes for a spiritually
meaningful life.
Hrabal (2001), the great Czech writer of our time, wrote a delightful autobiog-
raphy—Memories of a Class Repeater (2001)—when he was in his eighties and
close to his death. Hrabal wrote that from now on his way in life would be back-
ward. “I had enough with all the information! Now I want to know who I am. Why
am I here? What for? Where am I going? And from where did I come? Who stands
beside me and who is against me? What is above me and what is below?” (p. 284)
Hrabal presents in this book the simplest and most difficult questions in life.
These are questions that each person must answer alone. These are questions that
each person must answer candidly, deep inside one’s soul. These are questions that
are impossible to escape. They always appear, whether one is conscious or fast asleep.
Leo Tolstoy, the Russian writer, held a unique attitude toward the meaning of
life. In The Death of Ivan Illich (1992), originally published in 1886, we can witness
his philosophy that even in the face of death the life of a man can be meaningful.
In Tolstoy’s book, death and insight appear simultaneously. The hero is a high-
ranking clerk in the government who discovers that the life he has had until he
became terminally ill was meaningless.
Tolstoy wrote, “The life of Ivan Illich was simple, ordinary and terrible” (p. 193).
“And he knew that he was dying. In his depth of soul he knew that he was dying,
but he did not get used to the thought. He simply didn’t understand, and could
not perceive that it is possible” (p. 225).
The dying man remembers only the happiness and love he has had. His pains
disappear the minute he stops holding on desperately to life. Through his
suffering the hero gains insight and develops far beyond what was expected of him
by his immediate environment. Ivan Illich becomes a man with inner greatness;
and this greatness of soul nullifies all that has been done until then and makes his
life meaningful. In his death, Ivan Illitch becomes a man who is able to transcend
himself and turn his suffering into great human achievement.
The heroes in Shakespeare’s play King Lear (1947) and Balzac’s book Father
Goriot (1991) are sad figures in their old age. They seem to live a pitiful life,
forgotten by their children—except when the latter are in need of money and
power—isolated and cast away, and weak in body and spirit. They present an ugly
picture of aging, and their fates are even more depressing. One can deduce from
their travails that there is no greater calamity in life than old age. They are a far
cry from those old and much respected philosophers of antiquity, so beautifully
described by Cicero (1909), who attracted the youth by their wisdom and life
experience as a magnet attracts iron. Plato would have liked such people as leaders
and rulers in his ideal state because old people are interested in safeguarding their
moral virtues and standing for what they have fought for and suffered for all their
lives. They know, with few exceptions, that there is no time left for new ventures,
whereas it is easy to destroy the existing ones that have been accumulated.
In Souls on Fire, Elie Wiesel (1993), winner of the 1986 Nobel Peace Prize, refers
to the question of the absurdity of living by saying that man can take a stand
70 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

toward the world and toward life through irony and humor, or in other ways.
Wiesel presents the following Hasidic story to illustrate his approach to meaning:

A Hassid came to see Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk and complained: “Rabbi,
I have terrible thoughts lately.” “What are those,” asked the Rabbi. I am afraid of
mentioning them,” said the Hassid. “Nevertheless, tell me,” said the Rabbi. “Some-
times I reflect that God forbid there is no law and no judge.” “So, what do you care,”
said the Rabbi. “If there is no law and no judge,” cries the Hassid, “then what
purpose is there to life and to the world?” “So what do you care if the world has no
purpose,” said the Rabbi. “If the world has no purpose,” said the Hassid, “then there
is no sense to the Torah, no sense to life, and this, Rabbi, I mind very much.” “If you
mind this so much, then you are a good Jew, and a good Jew may have such
thoughts,” said the Rabbi.

If life is meaningless, objectively speaking, then we should turn the search for
meaning inward. The reasonable thing to do is to care for what gives us meaning
inside. Life has meaning as long as we discover its meaning for ourselves by
engaging in meaningful activities that give purpose and taste to life. Even if life is
absurd, as some existentialist philosophers claim, man does not necessarily need
to be absurd.
In terms of logotherapy, awareness about the search for meaning is connected
to the concept of responsibility. Logotherapy emphasizes the importance of here
and now in existential philosophy for meaningful living. One should not waste
time in futile reflections about days past because these prevent one from doing
the unique task of one’s life. A life without meaning is punished by feelings of
emptiness, disappointment, and suffering. Logotherapy claims that there is
always a choice in each life situation. An individual can choose what is really
important for him, and do what his choice demands from him. Man is free to
find his own way in life. Logotherapy rejects a deterministic attitude toward life.
If we accept such an attitude, then our lives will pass in despair.
 8

Life as a Task

It is written in the book of Job (5:7) that man was created to toil. Humans must
be productive; otherwise, their lives remain empty and meaningless. All human
beings have to work, even older people. They also need to remain productive
throughout life. An old man must work and toil even if this toil is not linked to
earning a living.
Life is a task by which each human being can realize his or her potential for
meaningful living. A most moving proof of this maxim is given by Bohumil
Hrabal, the Czech writer and winner of the Nobel Prize for literature, in his book
Too Noisy Silence (1994). This book, published in the author’s old age, presents a
man who works with a hydraulic press—alone in a damp, poorly lit basement—
for thirty-five years. His job consists of transforming all kinds of waste papers,
using the hydraulic press, into huge bundles that he decorates with paintings of
the saints, which have been thrown away along with other waste paper.
The story unfolds during the communist era in Czechoslovakia. Hantya, the
hero, develops a deep love for the old machine and for the literary classics in world
literature that have been thrown into this basement as waste paper. Hantya saves
these from destruction and oblivion, fills his small apartment with these books,
and carries on a brilliant discussion with the characters in them.
Hantya finds special meaning in this work by turning the poor, grey, depressing
conditions and loneliness of his work and life, even the noise of the machine, into
extraordinary experiences. In his imagination, Hantya creates a wonderful world,
a world full of meaning, beauty, and enchantment. Thus he is able to detach him-
self from the depressing reality that would otherwise close in on him; he is able to
elevate himself above the conditions and circumstances of his life and to discover
the treasures that hide in the mountains of waste paper falling down from the
overhead hole into which the trucks unload their cargo. Hantya finds meaning in
life by discovering a rare book that he is able to save.

71
72 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Hantya describes this work, this task, and this way of life as follows: “Like a
beautiful little fish that appears suddenly in the muddy water, so does a rare book
appear glistening in the waste papers surrounding it. I turn my eyes for a moment
blinded and afterward I fish it out, wipe and dry it with my apron. I open it, sniff
the text a little, read the first sentence my eye fells upon, and I put it along with
the rest of my treasures in the box” (p. 9).
Reading classical literature opens a new world for Hantya, one filled with
wisdom and beauty. After the day’s work is over, he carries the treasure back
home, full of expectation that in the evening he will discover something of himself
that he did not know (Hrabal, p. 14).
Hantya accepts his life with love, lives life the way he wants, and takes
responsibility for his choices. Hantya is content with himself and with his actions,
an exemplification of what Frankl (1962) emphasized: that meaning can be found
in any situation or circumstance if one is open to receive it.
When we acquire awareness about our task in life, we also acquire a value that is
important for our mental health. There is nothing more important than this aware-
ness, because it enables us to cope successfully with the difficulties, disillusions,
pains, disappointments, frustrations, and hardships that happen along our way in
life. Every person who has survived a life-threatening illness, who was a captive or a
prisoner of war, or who suffered yet survived life in a concentration camp or in a
ghetto by the strength of his or her spirit, would most likely say that the source of
this strength was the knowledge that there was a role for waiting to be filled. There-
fore, these individuals had to find the courage and make every effort to survive, to
carry all of the burdens and pain. For only that knowledge and work toward its
fulfillment can make one able to withstand the vicissitudes of life. In this connec-
tion, Frankl (1986) liked to cite a famous saying of the philosopher Nietzsche:
“Whoever has a reason for living endures almost any mode of life” (p. 54).

IMPORTANCE OF THE TASK

The importance of human beings’ task in life, which is waiting to be met, is
vested in turning the “why” in life into a “how.” If people have a clear goal that they
wish to achieve with all their hearts, they most likely will bear the “how”—even if
it is very difficult—and the larger the place is that the “why” occupies, the more
the “how” fades away in the background.
Coping with difficulties makes one’s life meaningful. In this respect, said
Goethe, the great philosopher, poet, and humanist: “You ask what your role is?
And how can you know yourself? Not by observation or by contemplation! Try to
do your role and learn what is hidden in it. And what is your role? What the day
demands from you” (Frankl, 1986, p. 79).
In the lectures that he gave all over the world, Frankl used to repeat another
idea from the philosophy of Goethe: that we should not accept people as they are,
because then we only spoil them. Instead, we should relate to them as if they are
the way they should be. Only in this way can we bring them closer to their goal.
Life as a Task 73

The task of human beings is vested in the attitude to work: the urge to work and
to accomplish something in the world is a most important part of life. The task of
humans in the world is exemplified not only by their work but by the way that they
live. All through life, people have to develop virtues to elevate them from the
biological and animal characteristic of their existence to the spiritual one. Living
life according to virtue is the best proof that we are capable of overcoming our
weaknesses and shortcomings and of rising above ourselves for the sake of other
human beings or of certain ideals.
Tension and stress are integral parts of life. Spiritual tension strengthens
people and helps them in their quest to live their life as it should be, rather than
as it is. Thus, what is called self is the struggle and the tension not to remain the
same all through life—which, in any case, is impossible—but the need to
become a personality, someone willing to wrestle with the tensions that
determine one’s place in the world. This wrestling is continuous, without end,
similar to that of Sisyphus. And one’s life story is the proof of what has been
achieved in this struggle.
Our existence always points to the future; we are always interested in achieving
something. Our deeds in the past may be seen as successes or failures. Our
existence in the present is determined not only by our past but also by what we
wish to become in the future. We are not supposed to inquire or to dig too much
into the past. It should only be dealt with as the safest thing that we have; nobody
can take it away from us.
The past has already been lived. Therefore we should only take out of it what
has given us meaning and has enriched our lives to help us, in the present, to gain
strength for successful coping with the demands of life. The past not only contains
what has been good and pleasant and given meaning to our lives, but it also
enables us to learn from the mistakes we made and to search for ways to atone for
them in the present. We are able to mend our ways and to exploit the experience
gained to create something positive in our present lives.
The essence of existence is to grow beyond one’s self. People are closeted in a
narrow world and cannot perceive what exists beyond this world. Yet, in this
world, there are opportunities to make life meaningful. One can realize values,
both immediate and eternal. These values seem to be waiting for the individual to
come and grasp them, to use the opportunity for their realization. If one misses
what life is offering, the opportunity passes and is wasted and the values remain
unrealized.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IN TASK FULFILLMENT

In Reflection on My Eightieth Birthday, Bertrand Russell (1956) wrote that,
when he reached eighty, he felt that the bulk of his work was done. Yet he still
wanted to achieve two goals that he had longed for since his youth: to find out if
anything could be known and to do whatever he could to make this world into a
happier one (p. 220).
74 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

This quest from the famous scientist-philosopher seems especially relevant

today. Russell wrote of completing the bulk of one’s work at age eighty, which
leaves a good number of years of constructive work beyond the customary age of
sixty-five as a time of life for taking leave of one’s major life accomplishments.
Russell echoed ideas that many elderly people sense: the need to come to terms
with one’s age, to make peace with oneself, to accept responsibility for things that
happened in one’s life, and to recognize the significance of one’s contribution to
others. This quest is basically spiritual.
Retirement at age sixty-five (earlier or a bit later) is a relatively recent
phenomenon, especially in its institutionalized form. Most people tend to associ-
ate retirement with physical and emotional deterioration, followed by decreased
morale. The combination of these factors often results in low satisfaction with life
and increased vulnerability to stress. The fear of retirement is related to the
difficulty of accepting change in the accustomed ways of perceiving and dealing
with the world.
Being uprooted from the world of work may impede successful adaptation to
retirement. Those who are forced to retire on a small pension experience a drastic
reduction in their standard of living, and some may experience poverty for the
first time in their lives. Those who do not develop interests outside of work during
their preretirement years usually do not adapt satisfactorily. Often they based their
self-worth and identity on the status of work and the virtue of productivity and
therefore find it difficult to justify a life of leisure activities.
Some people recognize the task that life demands of them and are willing to
realize the value attached to the temporary situation, and yet they perceive their
lives as lacking essence. These people are unable to explain to others why they feel
that way. Ordinary people are far from prophecy and consequently cannot foresee
what the future holds for them. And perhaps this is for the better; if humans were
blessed with the ability to foresee the future, they would relate to it completely
differently than at present. As long as they are unable to predict their future, they
cannot judge it and say that life is worthless.
In The Doctor and the Soul (1986), Frankl tells a story about a black man,
condemned to a life sentence, who boarded a ship for prisoners in Marseille.
On the way to their destination in the open sea, a fire broke out and, when this
man was released of his chains, he saved the lives of ten prisoners and was
pardoned. But if he had been asked in Marseille while boarding the ship,
whether or not his life had any meaning in his situation, he would surely have
shaken his head in negation (p. 56).
Each person must fulfill a role in life in accordance with his or her concrete
situation and personal knowledge and must try to respond to the concrete
demand of life. There is no sense entering into abstract questions about the best
step that one must take in order to respond to this demand of life, because it is
impossible to define such a step. Instead of concentrating on abstract ways, people
should take concrete steps, with the intention of doing what is expected of them
to the best of their ability.
Life as a Task 75

People must take personal responsibility for their one and only life and for
their unique role, their personal mission, on the Earth. People who find
themselves lacking this cognition become weak and vulnerable in difficult
situations and then resemble a mountain climber in the Alps who gets stuck in
dense fog, cannot see the goal in front of him, and is in danger of collapse and loss
of his strength. But, when the fog lifts and he can see a shelter in the mountain
that he can reach, his strength is renewed and he is able to continue his effort.
In The Doctor and the Soul (1986), Frankl wrote about one of his clients who
told him that she could not find any sense to her life and did not want to get well.
If she had an occupation or role that could give her satisfaction, “everything
would be different.” For example, if she were a doctor or a nurse or a scientist
discovering some new and valuable medicine, she would be happy. “I had to
educate her,” says Frankl, “that it is not the occupation that is important, but how
we fulfill our roles” (p. 128).
Meaning is not dependent on a concrete role, but on ourselves, in what we are
doing in our unique existence and in the unique opportunities, given to us by our
work, to make life meaningful.
This client of Frankl’s did not understand that the work of a doctor or a nurse
can be boring and very unpleasant at times. What makes the work of the therapist
valuable in the eyes of the clients is not necessarily the professional knowledge
that the therapist has. This knowledge is taken for granted by the consumers.
The doctor or the nurse who remains a decent human being despite all limiting
circumstances is truly valued. And in order to be such a person, the therapist must
fill his or her role with human content. Exhibiting kindness toward the client,
caring for his or her well-being, and giving a smile and a kind word has no eco-
nomic value, only a human one, give life its meaning and uniqueness. Despite the
value that people place on the work role, this client needed to understand that
work is just one of the roles in a person’s life by which meaning can be found and
that she could realize her uniqueness in many other ways.

THE FUNCTIONAL DIMENSION

In The Will to Meaning, Frankl (1985) describes only one among the four wills
that motivate humans to act according to some of the greatest psychologists. For
the Russian psychologist Pavlov (1881–1939), the most important was the will to
survive. Pavlov developed the concept of conditioned reflex in his famous
experiments with dogs. Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) considered the will to
pleasure as the most important. Alfred Adler (1870–1937) regarded the will to
power and superiority as the guiding wills in human existence. These three wills
show what is common to human beings and to animals, namely that these center
on the biological and the psychological dimensions.
Viktor Frankl (1905–97) maintained that the will to meaning is unique to
human beings, because it expresses the dimension of the human spirit. This
dimension is not a means for gaining something, nor is it a by-product of the
76 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

gain, such as gaining power for the sake of superiority, but it is the central aim
in life.
Hiroshi Takashima, a Japanese physician, has presented a fourth dimension:
the functional dimension. Takashima has successfully incorporated and employed
Frankl’s theory and method of logotherapy in his medical treatment and has
shown the benefits accrued to medicine and to the individuals concerned from
this approach. According to Takashima, in diagnosis and treatment, we have to
consider all four dimensions.
In Humanistic Psychosomatic Medicine (1984), he wrote that sickness can begin
in one of the four dimensions and influence the others. For example, an ulcer can
be an organic illness and cause disturbance in the functional dimension. A correct
diagnosis of the dimension in which the illness originates is necessary, along with
an assessment of how the rest of the dimensions are affected. Thus there is a need
to combine psychotherapy, medications, and logotherapy (meaning-oriented
psychotherapy) to modify a client’s attitude toward his or her illness.
Takashima used the metaphor of an orchestra to illustrate his approach to
medicine and to the four human dimensions: he compared the instruments of
the orchestra to the somatic dimension and the technical skill of the musicians
to the functional dimension. The musicians’ minds were analogous to the
psychological dimension, and the conductor symbolized the spiritual dimension,
because the conductor translates the spirit of the composer to the orchestra
(Takashima, p. 24).
Takashima included in his book many cases to illustrate the working of the
functional dimension. I have selected one that is characteristic of his attitude, as a
physician, toward people in his care. In this case, he tells about a manager of a
supermarket and coffeehouse who turned to him for help, complaining that he
limped on his left leg. This limping had started three months ago, yet it was
confined only to his workplace. Outside the office, he could walk without limping,
climb steps, and take part in various sport activities. Only in his work during the
day did he limp.
This patient was seen and tested by many doctors, including psychiatrists and
neurologists, and no evidence was found of physical or neurological factors or
causes for the limping. Takashima asked the patient when the limping had started.
He answered that it was when his boss has reprimanded him because of a mistake
he made. When he returned to his office after that, he bumped his left leg against
a chair and fell; all of the treatments that he received were of no avail.
Takashima asked the patient to walk for a while in his presence, and the
patient indeed limped with his left leg. “Then I said to him,” Takashima tells, “try
to limp on both legs.” “No jokes,” said the patient, and he did not try to limp.
Instead, he walked well—without limping on either leg. This patient saw that,
when he tried to limp on purpose on his right leg, he could not limp on his left
leg. Then he tried harder to limp on his left leg, but he couldn’t. Takashima asked
this patient to return to the office and try to limp on his left leg on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays and on his right leg on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The
Life as a Task 77

patient laughed. Several days later he phoned Takashima and told him that he
was sorry that he could not fulfill the doctor’s order, because he had forgotten
how to limp (pp. 91–92).
This was a case of functional disease with an unknown cause, yet it was treated
successfully with Frankl’s paradoxical intention, a method of treatment that
Frankl described and presented in detail in a chapter of his first book, The Doctor
and the Soul (1986, pp. 221–252).
In our times many people in their second half of life live only for the hour:
they tend to see the concept of here and now literally, as a call to grab as much
from the pleasures of life as possible. These people live a life of care for their
wealth but forget to care for their time. Their money cannot help them when the
time comes to depart from this world, and their days are not returning as they
wish. But those who make the necessary effort and find meaningful tasks for
themselves, those who occupy themselves in activities that bring joy to others, see
a blessing in their work and gain satisfaction and happiness in their lives.
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 9

On Fate and Meaningful Living

If fate overcomes you, don’t run away! Don’t throw away your armament, and don’t
search for shelter, for fate will get you everywhere. Instead, search for a place and for
a task that will be useful to others. (Seneca, 1997, p. 22)

Fate has always been and continues to be a much-discussed subject in philosophy,

poetry, literature, and music, as well as in science and religion. Many of the
greatest creations in these human endeavors were devoted to fate’s intervention in
human life and affairs. Two of the most famous musical creations, for example,
are Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, generally known as the Symphony of Fate, and
Verdi’s great opera La Forza del Destino, or the Power of Fate.
In literature the fate of the hero or heroine is imagined, yet his or her actions
resemble real-life behavior. Fate is directed toward some purpose, which may or
may not be understood or perceived by the individual as fate.
Fate is an important factor in the lives of millions of elderly people, for some
of whom fate is part of the cultural heritage by which they try to explain to
themselves and others the important events that happened in their lives.
The concept of fate and its influence on human behavior is presented in this
chapter via the scientific work of Lipot Szondi, the Hungarian-born psychiatrist
and scientist who developed the theory of fate analysis and used it in his
therapeutic work. Logotherapy’s attitude toward fate as a philosophical and a
psychological concept is also presented via the writings of Frankl and others.

BIBLICAL AND LITERARY ATTITUDES TOWARD FATE

In its many forms and expressions, fate appears more than seventy times in the
Bible (in the Old Testament). In its original role, fate constituted small pieces of
stone with a number on top that were cast to make decisions about the fate of

79
80 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

something or someone. Thus, for example, the division of the land among the
twelve tribes of Israel after its capture from the Canaanites by Joshua was done by
casting fates (Joshua: 8–12).
Fate occupies a central subject in two of the twenty-four books in the Old
Testament, in the books of Jonah and Ester, and it signifies a double role: on the
one hand, fate shows how insignificant humans are against the power of God, and,
on the other, fate is clothed as chance happening to someone.
In the book of Jonah, fate is mentioned in various contexts. First, the sailors
cast fates to see who is guilty of causing the storm that threatened to sink their
boat, in which Jonah wished to escape from the mission that God gave him to
fulfill. Fate appears to Jonah a second time when, instead of being drowned in the
storm, he is swallowed by a great whale. When Jonah is tossed from the whale’s
belly onto the land, he fulfills God’s command, but even then he must first taste
suffering in order to understand that his protest against God’s command is
useless: human beings are only tools in the hands of God and their revolt against
the fate meted out to them will not help them.
Jonah’s story is just one illustration of the concept of fate. Another is told in the
book of Ester: Haman, chief advisor to the king of Persia, casts a stone (fate) to
decide on which day of the month the Jews of ancient Persia will be killed. Fate,
however, intervenes and turns his wishes upside down: Rather than killing all of
the Jews as he has intended, he is hanged, along with his sons.
Sometimes fate serves a different purpose from the one originally intended.
The Bible uses the Hebrew word inah (coincidence), as in the case of a murderer
who happened to kill someone by chance or mistake because God had chanced it
to happen. The ancient people of Israel were aware of this turn of fate and erected
special towns and places where such a murderer could find refuge to save his life
from vengeance by the family of the murdered man.
In the book of Judges there is a story about Yiftach, the Israeli general, and his
vow to kill the first person he met if he came home victorious. He meets his own
daughter. This story is another example of the double meaning of fate in the
Bible. In the cases of Jonah and Yiftach, the reader cannot escape the feeling that
fate makes a mockery with them. Fate in its biblical use gives a reason to achieve
something or some purpose. But this purpose is hidden from the one who serves
as the subject of fate. Heroes in the Bible do the very things against which they
are warned and consequently pay the price.
Fate is used in literature much as in the Bible. In a book by the Israeli writer
Meir Shalev, the hero is running away from the fate that he knows awaits him. He
is afraid that he will die young and in strange circumstances, like the men in his
family. Fate intervenes at times in human life and shakes people up with such a
force that afterward their whole life and attitude to the world are changed. This is
what happens in Thomas Mann’s Magic Mountain (1955), in which the hero,
stricken with tuberculosis, is living in a sanatorium away from reality and slowly
sinks into a dream world. He awakens only when the World War I shakes him up
and puts him back on his feet and face-to-face with reality.
On Fate and Meaningful Living 81

What then is fate? Is it chance or is it ordered by some power? Is it possible to

control fate, to predict its course? Perhaps human beings have no power against it.
These questions keep nagging not only the heroes in the Bible, in literature, or in
operas, but they concern psychologists as well.
The psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung referred to fate in two of his books. In On
the Paths of Our Depths (1993), Jung wrote: “what is decreed of man is an
irrational factor like the power of fate that presses on us to detach ourselves from
the crowd, to be independent and not to follow the paths known to the herd. For
a man with real personality always has a mission; He believes in it” (p. 29).
In his old age, Jung wrote Memories, Dreams, and Thoughts (1997), his
autobiographical book, and made references to fate. Jung wrote that, when he
worked on his family tree, he saw his partnership with fate become clear to him.
This partnership bound him to his ancestors. Jung said in this book that he fre-
quently imagined a karma, or impersonal fate, that passes from parents to
children; he added: “I have always felt that I must answer the questions fate put
before my ancestors, or that I must finish things they did not have the time to
complete” (p. 283).

FATE IN THE THEORY OF SZONDI

The subject of karma (fate) and collective fate that passes through generations,
according to Jung, was investigated and developed into a psychological theory of
motivation by the Hungarian psychiatrist, therapist, and researcher Lipot Szondi.
In 1986, at the age of ninety-two, the Jewish Hungarian psychoanalyst Lipot
Szondi died. Known all over the world as the founder of the theory and method
of fate analysis, an independent school within depth psychology, Szondi was one
of the great personalities who have enriched our knowledge of the human psyche.
Szondi made highly significant contributions to understanding the motivating
forces behind human behavior. As a product of the former Austro-Hungarian
Empire, born in 1893 and raised in Hungary, Szondi worked furiously in Budapest
until 1944, survived the Holocaust, and lived in Switzerland from 1945 until his
death. His institute and worldwide center for training in the method of fate
analysis still operates outside of Zurich.
Like Frankl, Szondi was a physician, a psychiatrist, and a psychotherapist. He
worked with patients who suffered from various disturbances in their
behaviors. In Fate Analysis and Self-Disclosure (1996), Szondi summarized his
scientific career by the question that many people asked him: “Why is a scientist
in the natural sciences and a physician perceiving something as mythical and
mysterious as the fate of an individual as a medical and psychological problem?”
“We cannot dissect it after death, or treat it by medicines or operations,” Szondi
answered, “I had a different opinion. I maintained it all my life and it always
remained with me. Even as a young man I saw that decisions and choices were
directed by the family or by the genetic inheritance and this choice shapes fate”
(Szondi, p. 5).
82 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Szondi’s interest in fate analysis began early in his life, seventeen years before
Sigmund Freud published his essay “Dostoyevsky and Patricide” in 1928. At that
time, in 1911, Szondi was an avid reader of the novels written by this famous
Russian writer, and he asked himself: “Why did Dostoyevsky choose murderers
and saints to serve as heroes in his books?” His answer later served as a
breakthrough to his new theory of psychoanalysis. Szondi found that Dostoyevsky
knew how to describe the souls of his heroes and their inner worlds, because he
himself carried, as genetic family inheritance, the same traits and characteristics,
and Dostoyevsky projected these traits onto the heroes in his books. Szondi also
assumed that great writers include in their books the genes that they inherited and
the contents of their instinctual worlds, without being aware of this unconscious
process in their writing. Szondi was so convinced about the truth of his new
theory that he had the courage to publish it. The responses that he received were
almost equally divided: there were those who perceived his theory as true, and
others who rejected it as complete nonsense.
A similar thing happened to Szondi’s famous book, Analysis of Marriages,
which was published in 1937. At that time he was already convinced that the
responses to this book were connected to only one thing, namely, that this book
touched on something deep and basic in the soul and psychological makeup of
human beings. Therefore he decided to develop his discovery further and to
devote his life to the theory of fate analysis.
Szondi’s initial feeling about Dostoyevsky was verified in 1947 when the French
author Henri Troyat published his biography on Dostoyevsky: Troyat showed that
the family of Dostoyevsky, which dated back to the sixteenth century, included
many soldiers, priests, and judges, but also thieves and murderers.
The same thing happened to Szondi with Balzac, in whose books one can find
a murderer who serves as a literary expression of Balzac’s own family
unconscious, which is discussed in more detail later in this book.
There were other incidents in Szondi’s own family, such as the sickness of his
mother and eldest brother, as well as in the families of his patients, that
strengthened Szondi’s belief in his assumptions about fate. His older brother
served as his model. This brother studied medicine in Vienna but didn’t finish
his studies because he married a blond German Aryan woman, became a father,
and remained unhappy all of his life.
Szondi participated as a frontline medic in World War I and was almost killed
when a bullet hit the spade in his backpack. He decided that his escape from death
was a sign that he must finish his studies in medicine and help the sick and the
suffering. Afterward he arrived at a military hospital in Vienna with an infection
in his liver. There he met a blond Aryan woman and fell in love with her. One
night he woke up in great anxiety because he dreamed about his family discussing
the unhappy life of his older brother because of that unfortunate marriage. Szondi
woke up with the feeling that he was going to repeat the mistake of his brother. He
wanted, however, to live his own fate, rather than to repeat what had already
happened. This was the moment when Szondi resented his genetic fate and
On Fate and Meaningful Living 83

decided to choose his selected fate instead. Following this incident, he began to
develop his concept of the family unconscious.
Another incident that strengthened Szondi’s decision to study fate’s influence
on human behavior was connected to one of his patients, who brought his wife to
Szondi for therapy because of the fears she had that she might poison herself and
her family. Szondi told the husband of this woman that her case was rather similar
to that of an older woman who had been in therapy for many years because of the
same fears. When Szondi described her physically, the husband exclaimed that she
was his mother. Szondi was disturbed by the question of why this man had chosen
a woman with the same family history and fears. The answer that he arrived at
only strengthened his resolution to develop his theory further.

SZONDI’S SCIENTIFIC WORK

The scientific work of Szondi encompassed two main periods: First, from 1936
until 1944 in Budapest, Hungary, Szondi concentrated his efforts on developing
the theory and method of fate analysis. In the second period (1945–1954), the
question of whether it is possible to direct fate was posed. Szondi was interested
in seeing how fate analysis could be used for therapeutic purposes. This second
period in Szondi’s scientific activities laid the basis for the new anancology, or
theory of fate analysis, which was further developed during Szondi’s lifetime into
a theory of psychotherapy.
Between 1934 and 1936, Szondi had undertaken his own fate analysis. During
that time he originated the concept of the family unconscious, which consists of
the following: in the unconscious, as important factors for existence, are models
of ancestor figures that direct the fate of the offspring by force. Szondi called this
factor forced fate. It comprises the family unconscious of the offspring many
generations later. The family unconscious contains the aspirations of the
ancestors. The opponent of the ancestors is the ego of the offspring, which can
take a stand. The ego is capable of choice, despite the interest of the ancestors. This
choice forms the basis for the concept of freely chosen fate. Szondi called this
ability of the human being to choose his or her fate directed fatalism. He also
made this ability the cornerstone of fate analysis.
In ancient Greek fate is ananke, which has two meanings: a limit on freedom
due to some outside force—in this sense, fate means suffering or worry—and
blood relations, such as the family. Thus fate includes both force and family. Until
the end of World War II, fate had been investigated scientifically during two
periods. In Fate Analysis (1996), Szondi reported a case of fear about poisoning
one’s family, as previously presented, in which he was not content with the
customary answer that it was just a matter of coincidence. Szondi asked himself
the question: “Why did that man fall in love with that particular woman and not
with somebody else?” And the answer that he found became the basis for his
major work. Additional choice-related questions were derived later when fate
analysis was reinforced by thousands of cases offering evidence for his approach.
84 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

In the concept of the family unconscious, Szondi investigated the opposing

interests of the ancestors and found that choice is of utmost importance for the
offspring: the family unconscious speaks in the language of choice. Szondi
maintained that, despite the genetic inheritance that we all carry, we can freely
choose part of our fates. And the greater that part is, the easier it is to carry one’s
own fate. Those who succumb to their genetic inheritance (their forced fate) are
totally dependent on their family unconscious.
In a letter to his friend Peter Balazs in 1939, Szondi wrote that human beings
must dare to be different from others—they must dare to be good despite all of
the bad things that people did to them and around them. Szondi asked: “What is
bad?” He answered his own question: “Bad means not yet finding the way out of
the tyranny of the instincts that hold us in their clutch.” For him, not yet meant
that tomorrow or afterward might be different.
In fate analysis, the aim is to build bridges. This is the essence of therapy.
Bridges need to be built between the various strata of the human psyche and
among people in general. Szondi’s basic assumption was that there is no clear
border between the healthy and the sick personality and that meaning in life is
dependent on the choices that we make. Fate analysis requires a solid
understanding of all of the factors that shape fate, both causative and formative.
Fate itself is always the result of the behavior exhibited by the subject in relation
to the opposing forces; the human quest is always to attain wholeness.
Fate analysis is built on the concept of genotropism, on the attraction of the
genes, which direct the individual’s fate. This attraction is expressed in five areas
toward which the individual’s genes incline: the selection of the love partner or
spouse; of friends and ideals; of an occupation and life mission; of illnesses,
particularly mental illness related to a given body structure; and in the choice
of death, whether by accident, incurable illness, or by suicide (Szondi, 1996a,
pp. 62–65).
Evidence for the validity of Szondi’s theory can be seen daily in work with the
disabled and the elderly. Those who succumb to their forced fate, to injury and
loss, blame fate for their situation; as long as they are unwilling to search for those
doors that are still open before them, they are not subjects for rehabilitation in the
psychic sense. Those who live out the role of the old and the disabled, who
concentrate only on the negative aspects in their lives, find themselves in a street
or road with no outlet; they are in danger of succumbing to despair or to a life
lived in self-pity, which logotherapy perceives as a meaningless life.
Szondi maintained that fate analysis requires a solid understanding of all of
the factors that shape fate, both causative and formative. According to fate
analysis, the ego and spiritual fate together form a hand, which, to a large degree,
directs the activities of the instinctual forces in human beings. These two factors
in combination are capable of turning the instinctual forces against their original
goals. This turning of the destructive forces, which Szondi calls the nature of
Cain, corresponds, to a degree, to Frankl’s concept of the human being as capable
of self-transcendence.
On Fate and Meaningful Living 85

The importance of spiritual fate becomes evident in the theory of Szondi when
he speaks about those who succumb to their fate, those who suffer from fate that
is forced on them. These people are incapable of resisting the opposing forces in
their instinctual fate and the environmental influences acting on them.
Many people suffer throughout their lives from the fate that they have
inherited from their ancestors. They lack the ego and spiritual strength to
overcome what they need in order to prevail over the compelling forces in their
inheritance. And they are incapable of choosing, from the many possibilities that
are open before them, a single piece of individual and private life. They are sick
because the functions of their faith are paralyzed.
In Man’s Search for Meaning (1962), Frankl has shown that faith is directed
toward the future. Szondi concurs with this direction. The spiritual fate of the
human being is capable of turning a person into a real human being. The strength
of functional faith and its quality are dependent on the strength of the ego in
terms of its libido, mental energy, interests, and the social environment. If the ego
disperses its energy to satisfy the instincts, its chances of getting sick are great.
And, in order to prevent mental illness, the ego needs to give control to the spirit
rather than to matter, and only faith can help the ego attain that function.

SZONDI’S MENTAL PICTURE OF THE HUMAN BEING

The question has been raised many times by leading depth psychologists: How
does an individual become a human being, or by what process does one attain the
designation of a human being in the spiritual sense of the word? Freud’s discovery
of the unconscious and its many manifestations—what is known today as the
psychopathology of everyday life (Freud, 1991)—opened new perspectives for
psychology. Psychoanalysis in Szondi’s approach affects the mental picture of the
human being in two ways: by discovering the irrational forces in the unconscious
that, if unchecked by the ego, may cause serious harm to both the individual and
the collective and by Freud’s reality principle, according to which the founder of
psychoanalysis tried in vain to educate people to escape the dangers that were
inherent in the irrational forces that we all carry within when we lack control.
When human beings are born, they bring along the forced fate of their
ancestors. Later, with development and passing through the first four phases of
life—infancy, the period of being a toddler, latency, and adolescence—one may
become a homo elector, that is, a person who chooses or elects his or her own fate.
This election is possible only when the individual is able to use his or her super
ego, what Szondi has termed the Pontifex ego. This concept is analogous to
Freud’s super ego. It relates to the highest aspect in the structure of the human
psyche (Szondi, 1996b, p. 56).
The highest form of human being, Szondi claims, is one capable of being
himself or herself, of returning to the collective, to the love of humankind. This is
the main task of the homo elector. Attainment of that status is not yet the highest
achievement on the way to become a human being, says Szondi. Homo liberator
86 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

and homo humanisator are two concepts that, more than anything else, express
Szondi’s faith in humankind. Both stations can be achieved by human beings
whose faith, in the spiritual sense, in a loving human collective means liberation
from the confines of their instinctual nature and from the loneliness of self-love
(Szondi, 1996b, p. 60). In summing up Szondi’s work, one is struck by the duality
of human nature: forced fate versus selected fate. Szondi claims that we can
continue to adhere to our murderous inclinations, as contained in Cain’s fate
(Szondi, 1987), or we can use our conscience to recognize this tendency to sin and
contradict it, to bring about the transformation to Moses. The tendency to kill is
as old as human history, and therefore it is ever present. But the recognition of sin
in the human soul has also been present from ancient times. Human beings can
lead a life in which they aim to become like Moses, who struggled with his Cain’s
spirit and with sin and came out glorious, because he turned his murderous past
into the highest achievement that a human being can attain: to become the
founder of law and morals.
Szondi’s theory and therapy are controversial to this day. An interesting
illustration of this controversy is found in two letters that were sent to him
sixteen years apart. The first letter was written by Sigmund Freud, and the second
by Thomas Mann. The letters were sent to Szondi as replies to copies of his book
Analysis of Marriages (1937). Freud’s reply, two years before his death in London
in 1939, was not particularly friendly and contained several objections to Szondi’s
book. Freud emphasized that psychoanalytic experience has brought to the sur-
face many kinds of love; he ended his letter by stating that the factor that Szondi
emphasized in his book—the genetic attraction as expressed in the family
unconscious—may play a role without being exclusive or the standard.
The second letter was sent to Szondi by Thomas Mann, the famous writer, on
October 23, 1953, from a place near Zurich in Switzerland. Mann perceived Szondi’s
book as a meaningful gift that had occupied him a great deal. On the subject of
choosing one’s parents, mentioned by Szondi, Mann wrote that this may be a hypoth-
esis, and he cited Schopenhauer, who said that this could be different. Summing up
the analysis of Szondi’s book, Mann wrote that people’s fate is what they want to
become; he ended his letter to Szondi with some kind and generous words of praise.
In sum, fate for Szondi is a chain of decisions: some of them are done
consciously, but the bulk of them are unconscious. Yet, even when a decision is made
unconsciously, it is always a matter of choice. The essence of Szondi’s theory is that
we should turn our unconscious decisions into conscious ones; that is, we have to
take our fates into our own hands instead of passively accepting it. One’s fate is not
something that needs to be accepted humbly. One can give it direction.

LOGOTHERAPY’S APPROACH TO FATE

“Destiny appears to man in three principal forms,” says Frankl. “The first is his
natural disposition or endowment, his somatic or biological fate. The second
form, his situation, or the total of his external environments, is sociological fate,
On Fate and Meaningful Living 87

and the third is man’s disposition and situation that together make up a man’s
psychological fate.” The last form, psychological fate, is connected to taking a
spiritual and free stand toward the events in one’s life. Frankl wrote, “toward these
man takes a position, that is, he forms an attitude. The position taken is in
contrast to the basically destined position given—a matter of free choice. Proof of
this is the fact that man can change his position. Man can take another
attitude”(Frankl, 1986, p. 80).
This quote from Frankl underlies the concepts of forced fate and selected fate in
a logotherapeutic perspective. As for forced fate, Frankl cites the case of identical
twins that were separated for many years. Yet when one of them developed paranoia,
the other, who lived in a distant city, sent a letter “which betrayed a delusion identi-
cal in content to his twin’s paranoia.” Frankl says that here was destiny indeed: the
identical twins had developed from the same germ cell, had the same fundamental
disposition, and developed the same mental disease (Frankl, 1986, p. 81).
There is no need to be an identical twin in order to have a forced fate. Frankl said:
“The man who believes his fate is sealed is incapable of repealing it” (Frankl, 1986,
p. 81). Forced fate and selected fate are issues with which we have to deal many times
during a long life. Illustrations taken from Frankl’s own life refer to his story as a Jew
and as a human being. Frankl had a forced fate, literally, when he was sent to
Auschwitz, and when his manuscript on existential analysis was forcibly taken from
him and lost, along with everything else that he possessed except his life. Frankl
could have resigned himself to that fate, but instead he used his own freely selected
fate and reconstructed this book on scraps of paper, which later became his
groundbreaking work, The Doctor and the Soul: from Psychotherapy to Logotherapy
(Frankl, 1986).
The second story, also taken from the life of Frankl, refers to the time when he
suffered a heart attack during a visit to Munich when he was old. His reaction to
the situation at the intensive care unit of the hospital is a beautiful example of
selected fate, as told by Lukas (1986), because he showed more than courage.
Frankl showed what is written in St. Francis’s prayer: “Give me my Lord that
instead of being consoled, I shall console; instead of being understood, that I shall
understand; and instead of being loved, that I shall love; for only in the giving we
receive.” Lukas recounts that Frankl, gravely ill, consoled, comforted, and gave her
courage: “He didn’t think of himself, he thought of me!” (p. 139). Frankl showed
a personal example of logotherapy’s application in real life.

THE BIOLOGICAL FATE

Logotherapy is based on the premise that human beings are capable of chang-
ing their attitudes toward the circumstances of their lives. They can turn a fate that
is forced on them into a freely selected fate by the stand that they take toward a
predicament. Frankl (1986) said that, only under the hammer blows of fate, in the
white heat of suffering, does life gain shape and form (p. 111). This is particularly
important for old and or disabled people, because the loss that they suffer tends
88 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

to color their perception. It tends to alter their self-image, their attitude to self,
family, work, and society. And it tends to push many such people into despair.
Therefore, changing these people’s attitudes—from preoccupation with their
misery to a wish to be of service to others, to those less fortunate than
themselves—and redirecting their mental energy to discover new meaning in life
are the logotherapeutic answers for these people. Frankl wrote: “The destiny a per-
son suffers has a twofold meaning: to be shaped where possible and to be endured
where necessary” (Frankl, 1986, p. 111).
Logotherapy offers a means for attaining both. Frankl not only developed the
theory and philosophy of logotherapy, he also introduced several methods and tech-
niques to help suffering people. Two cases for illustration are briefly presented in the
following discussion. The first is told by Frankl (1986) in The Doctor and the Soul.
A famous lawyer learned that his leg had to be amputated because of arte-
riosclerosis. The operation took place in the hospital where Frankl worked at that
time. The healing went well, and the time came for the patient to make the first
step on one leg. The patient got up from the bed and began jumping in the room
and soon collapsed in Frankl’s arms. He burst into tears, claiming that he would
not be able to bear life as a cripple, that life had lost meaning for him in this
condition, whereupon Frankl looked into his eyes and asked him if he was serious
about making a career as a short or long distance runner. The patient looked at
Frankl surprised, and Frankl said to him that, in this case and only then, could he
understand the patient’s despair, because then it would really be meaningless to
live further. But for someone who has spent his life meaningfully and has gained
a solid reputation in his profession to lose the meaning of life just because he lost
a leg is incomprehensible. The patient understood at once, and a smile crept up
on his tearful face (p. 282).
This is a case that required not only endurance, but the shaping of a new life
for the patient. And to achieve both, Frankl made use of the self-distancing power
of humor, the main ingredient in paradoxical intention, a technique and method
of treatment that Frankl first published in 1939. This method has been used in
psychotherapy ever since, with considerable success.
In logotherapy the concept of fate is exchanged for destiny. Although fate
is blind to values and limited to concrete events beyond our control, destiny is
connected to the way in which we respond to what happens to us. Destiny expresses
the order of events and their understanding. According to logotherapy, it is possible
to overcome fate by the specifically human ability of self-transcendence. This
ability is part of the spiritual dimension that is unique to human beings. Fate in
Szondi’s theory is the opposite of freedom in Frankl’s theory. The spiritual dimension
signifies freedom from genetic inheritance and instincts and even from physical
and social environments. It denotes the human ability to accept or to reject the
limitations of those factors. In Frankl’s attitude to freedom, it is up to human
beings to decide how they wish to live their lives.
Instead of speaking about fate, Frankl prefers to speak about faith, for the latter
is directed to the future. Without faith (not necessarily religious faith), there is no
On Fate and Meaningful Living 89

meaning to psychotherapy. A therapist who does not believe in the client’s ability
to change his or her attitude toward someone or something cannot fulfill the
helping and caring roles and functions of a therapist. Frankl rejects a fatalistic
attitude to life. He emphasizes that human beings have “response-ability”; that is,
they have the ability to choose their responses to what happens to them, even in
the worst conditions.
Frankl agrees with Szondi that fate belongs to all of us human beings, like the
soil on which we walk, but this soil serves as a jumping board to freedom. One is
not dependent on fate, and certainly not on forced fate, claims Frankl. On the con-
trary, one can always decide how to respond to fate. This response is dissimilar to
Szondi’s selected fate. One has basic freedom to take fate as a given that requires a
decision, along with responsibility and determination, even against fate.
The life of a human being is a constant struggle between inner and outer
powers of fate. Yet, despite the importance of fate, the starting point should be the
freedom that exists even in the most severe cases of pathology. This freedom is
expressed in the attitude that people take toward what is happening to them.
Biological fate is like material that is open to structuring. Shaping and structuring
are its aims. We can meet people who show us that it is possible to overcome
biological givens and physiological shortcomings. People are capable of achieving
great deeds with their spirits when they are willing to give their maximum energy
to a certain cause.

PSYCHOLOGICAL FATE IN LOGOTHERAPEUTIC PERSPECTIVE

Psychological fate symbolizes things that are contrary to freedom. The neu-
rotic fatalist always claims, “that’s it” and “there is nothing I can do.” The
neurotic is wrong with respect to the second part of the prior sentence. For the
human ego is always pushing forward and never exploited enough. A sailboat
moves where it is directed by the power of the wind and by the abilities of the
sailor rather than by the power of the wind alone.
Someone who really wishes to gain something must know the goal, concentrate
on achieving that goal in earnest, and prepare for getting it. Someone who wishes
to overcome an addiction, for example, must refrain from excuses and refrain
from temptations and must decide and do what emanates from a decision such as
to give up drinking completely, once and for all. In The Doctor and the Soul (1986),
Frankl speaks of a schizophrenic woman who, when asked whether or not she
suffered from weakness of her will, answered, “if I will—yes, and if I do not will—
no” (p. 86).
Many people are inclined to justify their weakness of will, blaming others for
their failures. Here is a chance for the therapist to bring the client or patient to
understand that he or she must be free of this inclination. The neurotic fatalist
prefers to escape the need to take responsibility for his or her fate, claiming
weakness of will or bad upbringing. Yet, people can choose their psychological
fate.
90 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

A patient who suffered from hallucinations, of hearing frightening voices, was

once asked by the therapist: “How come, despite these voices, you are generally in
a good mood?” She answered, “I was just thinking that it is better to hear
frightening voices than to be deaf ” (Frankl, 1986, p. 90).
Frankl insisted that people can oppose their psychological fate, even in acute
situations; he illustrated this maxim by recalling an event from his own life. When
Frankl was lying in the concentration camp with typhus, he used to overcome his
delusions, the characteristic of this illness, by writing in shorthand on scraps of
paper some key words for the book that he lost on entering the camp.

LOGOTHERAPY’S PERSPECTIVE ON SOCIOLOGICAL FATE

Adjustment to aging is best understood by examining the complex
interrelationships among biological and social changes against the backdrop of
life-long experience. In the process of becoming an adult and meeting the
challenges of adulthood, each of us develops attitudes, values, commitments,
beliefs, preferences, and tastes that we integrate into our personalities. As we
become older, we are predisposed to maintain continuity in our personalities,
habits, associations, and surroundings. The failure to preserve a sense of
continuity, as occurs frequently in the transition to institutional surroundings, is
one of the most common precipitators of maladjustment in the elderly
(Guttmann and Cohen, 1993).
In Man’s Search for Meaning (1962), Frankl wrote that we lost the basic
instincts and traditions that gave us security. As a result, we do not know what to
do and sometimes we do not even know what we wish to do (p. 106).
Sociological fate determines life only partially. Society does not prevent one
from exercising freedom of will. There is always space in which to shape
sociological fate. Personal freedom acts as a filter through which a decision passes
and influences the final decision. Not all behavior sanctioned by society is
valuable just because society has agreed to it. Sometimes the opposite is true.
Logotherapy does not condone what is right in the eyes of the public. Deeds
are tested in the light of their spiritual values. Frankl (1986) illustrates logother-
apy’s approach to sociological fate by the story of giving the Ten Commandments
to the Israelites at Mount Sinai. Accordingly, the words that the Hebrews gave to
Moses—“we shall do”—should always precede the words “we shall hear,” because
it is possible to hear something and not do a thing about what was just heard.
Sociological fate was tested to the limit by the experiences of people
incarcerated in the German concentration camps during the Holocaust. In Man’s
Search for Meaning, Frankl (1962) presented the three phases through which the
victims allowed to live had to pass. The first phase included the arrival and enter-
ing the camp, when they lost all of a sudden everything that they were previously
and became creatures with numbers tattooed on their flesh. In that situation, what
was demanded was to cross out their previous lives and to devote all of their
spiritual strength to survival. In the second phase, in day-to-day life in the camp,
On Fate and Meaningful Living 91

they were forced to participate in the struggle for satisfying their most basic needs
while trying to keep their human image. And in the third phase, when the
incarcerated prisoners were freed from the physical and mental pressures and
from all of the fears and terrifying conditions that surrounded them, the danger
that awaited was the loss of identity through an inability to be happy for their life.
Life in the concentration camp brought about the deformation of the human
soul and apathy about everything, except the physiological need to eat and to find
a bit of warmth. The sexual instincts did not work because of malnutrition, and
lack of food caused dreams and endless talks about meals. The way to deal with
these inhuman conditions was always subjective. There were inmates who were
capable of overcoming their anger and apathy, who knew how to sacrifice even
their last piece of bread, and there were others who became like beasts. The latter
were usually the Capos—the work supervisors who were selected from among the
prisoners. Thus, even in the sociological fate that was forced on the inmates, they
could choose their personal reaction and attitude to the social environment in
which they found themselves.
Frankl emphasized that neurotic symptoms are not only the result of
something physiological or of a mental-emotional expression, but also a form of
existence, and this is crucial. Hunger and lack of sleep, which are physiological
conditions, and inferiority, which is a mental condition, are, in their essence, spir-
itual standpoints. In any situation, people are endowed with the ability to make
their decisions, to decide whether they are in favor or against their social, mental,
and physical environment. Only those who forwent their spiritual supports before
entering the camp failed under the influence of their surroundings.
Logotherapy offers ways to cope with forced fate. These ways are based on the
logotherapeutic technique called change in attitude. The purpose of this
technique is to help clients gain a new attitude toward the harm done to them.
The goal is to change a negative and mentally unhealthy attitude to life into a
healthy and positive one.
There are four ways to achieve this goal that are offered the client: the first
includes the notion that to adopt a positive attitude to the blow of fate is a
tremendous human achievement. The second is to show the client something
meaningful that is included in the suffering, despite the blow. The need to turn the
client’s attention from what has been lost to what remains—to what is whole and
has not been harmed by fate—is the third way. And adopting a philosophical
standpoint or a religious perspective on life that can help carry the burden of
suffering is the fourth way.
An illustration is the case of a sixty-five-year-old widow who lost her husband
after a long battle with cancer. She felt herself useless in the world, and she could
have easily fallen into depression and despair.
The first phase in the treatment was to help her see in that forced fate had
brought not only a disaster but an opportunity to discover new meaning to her
life. After this phase was accomplished, the time came to find the meaning hidden
in the suffering. The client was told that suffering without meaning is dangerous
92 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

and superfluous, and the meaning that she could find in her situation meant
seeing life in a different light, to understand that her suffering was not in vain. On
the contrary; it could strengthen her spiritually and cause her to continue living
for new goals, instead of the care that she gave to her husband during his illness.
The therapeutic discussion laid the foundation for the next phase in the
treatment. Work in that phase concentrated on making an inventory of what has
remained whole and could serve as basis for her new life: her family, her economic
resources, her friends, and her own strong personality. When this client accepted
the fact that she had reasons to live, she was able to free herself from her deep
mourning.
People who suffer from the blows of fate can find a cure for their suffering
and pain by applying logotherapy’s philosophy, principles, and attitude to life,
as presented earlier in this book. The human spirit is capable of remaining
healthy, even in a damaged body. Those who have experienced a loss of
something that was meaningful for them in their previous life can relate to the
blow of fate that befell them as something beyond their control. They can
change their attitude to this event and continue to move forward on the path of
life, find new meaning to their existence, and be cured mentally. The specifically
human capacity of saying yes to life and the defiant spirit of the human being
(in the logotherapeutic sense) are two of the most important armaments in an
older person’s struggle for survival.
 10

Despair as Mortal Illness in Aging

I knew seventy-year-old Mr. Smith (not his real name) for a long time prior to his
retirement as a happy man. Mr. Smith had a good job in public service where he
was esteemed and respected by his co-workers. He was also respected by his large
family, his many children, and his grandchildren. His physical health was excellent
also. Mr. Smith was regarded by his neighbors and many friends as an easy-going
fellow and a lucky man. Then we lost contact for several years.
When I met him again, I was surprised to discover a different Mr. Smith from
the one I had known. He was dejected, meek, and restless. When I asked him what
happened, he could not answer my question logically. His physical health had not
changed, he said, but his mental health was badly shaken since he had become a
retired person. Mr. Smith could have been a happy fellow. He knew that many
people would gladly change places with him. Yet, he said, something was missing.
However, he did not know what was missing. Was it the work he did previously?
No. Did something bad happen to the family? No, everything there was okay. Was
his fortune gone? Not at all. But that something was nagging him and he felt close
to despair.
Mr. Smith’s case is not unique in our days. Similar cases are reported by many
elderly people. People are not content with physical existence alone. They are born
to work, but their work may be different from one phase of life to the next. One
of the paradoxes in life is that people who are conscious of their existence and try
to escape social pressures by turning to conformity, instead of being happy about
their freedom, are sometimes caught by anxiety, dread, and depression and exhibit
a pessimistic outlook on life.
When normal and balanced, life is a synthesis between personal and universal
ingredients of freedom and discipline, spirituality and binding values, existence
and essence. When this living synthesis is broken, one of the ingredients
dominates the others and causes damage to the entire system.

93
94 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

The suffering of the individual, constant preoccupation with troubles and

failures and the closeness of death, so characteristic of old age, become the
yardstick for measuring existence in the present. People forget about all that was
already achieved in their long lives.
In their struggle to free themselves from limitations and to care for only what
is good for them, people may lose the reason for their existence. And this is what
stands behind the pessimistic outlook on life that, in its worst manifestation, ends
in nihilism, in negation of all moral values commonly accepted by society. It is
important to remember that existence is not just a physical fact. Human existence
means actualization of God-given potentials beyond the biological sphere of life.
It seems that modern gerontology has forgotten about the phenomena of
despair among the aged. The same can be said about literature, psychology, and
poetry. Although there are literally hundreds of studies about depression among
the young and the old, many of them subsume despair under depression.
Empirical research in logotherapy and meaning-oriented psychotherapy
(Batthyany and Guttmann, 2005) published in the past twenty-five years has
found that, among the two dozen studies devoted to depression among older
people, none of the studies differentiated between depression and despair.
A computer-based search discovered only a handful of writings on despair and
almost none in connection with aging. This chapter deals with the concept of
despair in philosophy, relying on the writings of the great Danish writer-philosopher
Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813–55), who devoted much effort to this subject. The
chapter also presents logotherapy’s attitude to coping with despair and offers ways
to prevent it in old age.

DESPAIR AS MORTAL ILLNESS

The historical roots of existentialism as a philosophy are embedded in the
nineteenth century. At that time the Danish philosopher Kierkegaard came to the
conclusion that each individual human being is essentially alone and lacks
support in a cold and meaningless universe.
Kierkegaard (1813–55) was not a philosopher in the traditional sense of this
term, but rather a religious spirit, a man who struggled with the ruling philosophy
and created, while struggling with the prevailing forces, his own philosophy,
which later became an important factor in the basis of existentialism. His ideas
and analyses of human existence were decisive for the philosophical trend of
existentialism in the twentieth century. His basic interest centered on two
questions: How can I as an existing subject connect with God? And how can I in
my existence understand myself?
Kierkegaard was a highly productive writer, a lonely and eccentric figure,
deeply sensitive and morally courageous, and one of the greatest thinkers of all
times. His literary-philosophical works are paradoxical in their titles as well as
their content. He bore great suspicion of both organized religion and science and
maintained that human beings exist in loneliness and are connected only to God.
Despair as Mortal Illness in Aging 95

Kierkegaard published part of his works under a pseudonym, fearing that his
attack on the Christian Church would result in very serious retaliation. The bulk
of his writings revolve around the idealistic and absolute demands made of a
Christian at the highest level. These demands are emphasized in his books:
Either/Or (1971), Fear and Trembling (1954), The Concept of Dread (1991), and
elsewhere. He also maintained that despair is sin, but its opposite is faith. His
works became known throughout Europe thanks to two German professors, each
of whom made a name for himself in philosophy: Karl Jaspers (1883–1969) and
Martin Heidegger (1889–1976). These professors helped make Kierkegaard’s
works well-known and provided new explanations.
According to Kierkegaard (1993), lack of faith leads to despair, and this despair
is a mortal illness that kills human beings. This despair is worse than any physical
illness, because it involves the death of the spirit, and this death is terrible for
human beings, who spiritual in their essence. Thus this illness is the illness of the
self, or a pathological attitude to oneself. And this attitude to the self is known as
despair, which, for a Christian, is a sin.
People fall into despair as a result of worldly, eternal, and personal factors, and the
anxiety that follows despair is like the “dizziness of the heights of freedom.” This
despair stems from what the desperate person sees as the gap and distance between
what is and what ought to be. This is a despair that resembles a deep gorge filled with
depression, melancholy, and dejection. The following case illustrates this feeling.
Mrs. Leroy (not her real name), aged seventy-one, agreed to see a logotherapist
mainly to “get rid of her children’s nagging.” She was a survivor of a great disaster
and lived alone in the northern part of the country. In the discussions that she had
with the therapist, she disclosed that she lived with a depressing feeling that “she
had missed her life.” As a young girl, she wanted to be an actress and dreamed
about a great career. She was endowed with the necessary means for her wish: a
slim figure, prettiness, intelligence, a quick wit, and great imagination.
Unfortunately, she said, she made a big mistake. After emerging from the disaster
that swept over the community in which she lived and getting back on her feet,
she married a much older man, whom she adored, and had to relinquish her
dream. Her marriage lasted forty years and ended in the death of her husband.
During this long time she seemed outwardly happy and satisfied, but when alone
with herself, she was unhappy. Mrs. Leroy was afraid to admit that she had made
a big mistake when she refused to listen to her conscience, which had told her not
to accept his proposal of marriage, and she suffered a lot from her “pangs of
conscience.” And now, she repeated over and over: “It is late. Life has passed and I
am in mourning not only for my husband but mainly for myself.”

DESPAIR AS FAILURE OF DEVELOPMENT

Each of us experiences situations in our lives that cause lack of tranquility or
peace of mind and anxiety stemming from the unknown or from our very
existence. As there are bodily illnesses that affect the human spirit, so there is also
96 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

despair that is within the soul of the human being. And this despair hits us at
times with an anxiety that is impossible to explain. This despair is characteristic
of older people who have failed to achieve wholeness by accepting their lives.
According to research in aging, many older people are living in this state.
Many older people are not aware of their spiritual condition and believe that
they are in despair. Many others think that they are in despair when, in actuality,
they are not. Only the well-trained professional in medicine, psychiatry,
psychotherapy, or social work can differentiate between the two kinds of despair.
People can pretend and play at being in despair, and they can mix despair with all
kinds of symptoms, both bodily and mental. Yet, although these may pass without
resulting in despair, the pretension itself is the real despair.
Despair is different from a physical illness in that there is no need to feel sick
in order to be in despair. Feeling ill is a sure sign of illness, and someone who has
never felt ill is the one who is in despair. Anybody can claim that he or she is in
despair without playing games or pretending. Such a person is closer to regaining
health than the one who says that he or she is free of despair.
The fact that this illness, this despair, is hidden is a catastrophe. Despair can
dwell inside a person in such a way that it is impossible to discover. Despair can
hide in people at such depths that they cannot know about its existence. On the
other hand, whoever believes has the best medication against this poison called
despair. This medication is the possibility that, by faith, all things are open and
may be obtained any minute. The fatalist is in despair and, as such, has lost the
self; everything is perceived by him or her as necessary.
Kierkegaard perceived human beings as a synthesis between the finite and the
infinite, the temporary and the eternal, freedom and necessity. The synthesis is the
relationship between these elements. This synthesis, however, is not the full
human being. When people relate to themselves consciously, they gain their own
self. And when they do not realize their synthesis or misunderstand it, they fall
into despair. This despair is an indication that a person does not want to be
himself or herself. This refusal to be one’s own self is what Kierkegaard calls sin.

LOGOTHERAPY’S ATTITUDE TOWARD DESPAIR

The ideas of despair are dealt with differently in logotherapy. According to
Frankl (1986), people have two unique traits that raise them above the level of
animals: the ability to distance themselves from their symptoms and perceive
themselves from the outside and the ability to rise above and beyond themselves.
The latter, called by Frankl self-transcendence, is a spiritual capacity in its essence,
and it verifies the fact that human existence is directed toward something different
than the self. It is directed toward fulfillment of meanings. And only in the sense
that human beings live their self-transcendence do they become truly human and
actualize themselves (The Doctor and the Soul, p. 294).
Logotherapy’s attitude toward despair is different from that of the existentialist
philosophers: Frankl coined the concept of existential vacuum in The Doctor and
Despair as Mortal Illness in Aging 97

the Soul (1986), which was originally published in 1946. What Frankl originally
termed existential vacuum was the feeling of a lack of understanding and doubts
about the meaning of life and lack of interest in it. This feeling of emptiness is
characterized by lack of self-assurance about finding meaning in life. This feeling
in itself is not an illness, but, if it persists without medical or therapeutic
intervention, it may end in despair.
Existential vacuum can emerge in any individual, irrespective of social
standing, gender, occupation, or religion—as opposed to an animal, which acts in
accordance with its drives and instincts. These are insufficient for humans to serve
as guides, because they have deteriorated in the nature of biology. Even religious
tradition cannot serve this purpose, for most human beings are not religious in
the traditional sense. Thus many people do not know what they want and are
willing to satisfy themselves with what other people want or with what their
leaders want and to follow them without thinking.
Logotherapy emphasizes the importance of gaining distance from symptoms
that cause mental anguish. This self-distancing is needed to lighten the feeling of
despair. Logotherapy maintains that people can distance themselves from harmful
symptoms by emphasizing the values that exist, despite the despair, and these can
help them overcome the loss. The mourning of Mrs. Leroy is not a mental
disturbance, but a normal psychological function. At the same time, it is also an
opportunity for discovering new meaning in life. We may speak of mental distur-
bance only in cases in which the mourning lasts too long, or at least far beyond
what is commonly accepted in a given culture as normal mourning, or when that
mourning prevents a return to day-to-day life.
When this existential vacuum remains empty, it may fill itself with despair,
and the result may be destructive to the mental health of the individual. Frankl
related to this kind of despair as one that gives preference to one value over
another, so that this value gets absolute control of other feelings and values.

VALUE ORIENTATION AND MEANING

An individual’s value orientation has a direct effect on mental health and out-
look on the world. The Czech psychologist Kratochwill presented a theory of
value orientation at a conference in London in 1968. The theory, based on Frankl’s
logotherapy, maintained that people can be divided into two groups: those with a
pyramid-like value system and those with parallel values (cited by Lukas, 1986a).
In the first group are people for whom one value is far more important than
all other values. Such a pyramid-like value system exists in people who have an
extremely narrow outlook on the world and attach great significance to this
value, tending to perceive it as absolute for them. And, when this world takes a
negative turn—such as in loss of fortune, social status, a loved one or by way of
an unwanted retirement—their world crumbles and they are left without mean-
ing and values in life: they have put all of their eggs in one basket, so to speak,
and all other values are insufficient to serve as replacements for the lost value.
98 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

These people usually fall into despair. Lukas (1986a) said that these people also
tend toward fanaticism, jealousy, and intolerance toward those who belong to the
other group.
People in the group of parallel values are far better equipped for living; they
have many values that give meaning to their lives. And if one value should get lost
or disappear, others can serve as substitutes for the lost one.
People in both groups can find meaning in their lives. There are people in
doubt about the meaning of their lives without necessarily being sick. Yet, the
strength of despair is greater among people in the first group, especially when
the loss is perceived as a tragedy. For these people, the danger of suicide is more
evident, and they should be helped by professionals.

DEFENSE AGAINST FALLING INTO DESPAIR

People are able to defend themselves against falling into despair by freeing a
value from its absoluteness, by seeing it in a realistic light as against other values
that also exist. This way of seeing things as they are enables people to perceive the
loss or the inability to get what they want and for which they yearn—such as
love—as something causing sadness, but not despair. Sadness and sorrow are
inevitable in life, for almost everybody. People can usually deal with them
because they are not paralyzing and are not as destructive as despair. Sometimes
the sorrow can even contribute to the feeling of existence in the world. Such sor-
row can provide an opportunity for reflecting on the value of life, for gaining
new wisdom and a philosophical outlook on human fate.
Another way to escape despair is by commitment to life and by renunciation.
Behind despair one finds the pursuit of some value, which blinds the eyes of
pursuers until they can no longer see things as they really are. They give this value
more meaning and more weight than it deserves beyond all proportion. This kind
of behavior is more pronounced in youth than in old age. Young people tend to
cling to a certain value with all their hearts and to forget the world around them.
Yet older people are also caught in the same behavior. Thus those who are caught
by the wheels of despair as a result of their inability to achieve their wishes must
learn the secret of renunciation and sacrifice.
The best way to combat despair is by admitting that life means fulfillment of
one’s central task, of some concrete task that is waiting for that particular
individual and nobody else. Fulfillment of the task may lead one to meaningful
living. Moreover, fulfillment of the specific task means regaining self-control over
one’s life. It means that one no longer succumbs to the destructive forces or gives
them absolute value (Volicki, 1987, p. 51).
Frankl (1986) developed a therapeutic method called dereflection for
overcoming the despair that can befall a person who has lost someone meaningful
and beloved. Frankl based this method on people’s unique capacity to distance
themselves from themselves and from the symptoms that ail them and to take a
stand against external situations. They can take a stand against inner situations by
Despair as Mortal Illness in Aging 99

using their thoughts, imagination, and memories. In this method of therapy, one
disregards the symptom and uses the energy left to do or get something useful for
others. The vicious circle cannot be cut by self-pity or by self-hate. Healing comes
as a result of one’s commitment to enlarge the circle of meaning, to enrich life.
Sometimes clients accuse others for their own failings, saying that such and
such a thing happened to them in their childhood, for example, that prompted
them to reject the road to responsibility and to become dependent physically or
psychologically on substances and on various people. Then the role of the thera-
pist is to turn this “because” into “despite”: that is, clients must say to themselves
that despite the abandonment experienced in their childhood by their parents—
as a result of war, disaster, or any other calamity—and despite lack of support in
their struggle for survival, they can show themselves and the world that they are
capable of living normally and decently.
In cases of depression and other acute illnesses and negative life events, the role
of the therapist is to help clients learn that it is possible to let the waves of life roll
over their heads. As long as clients are under the waves, so to speak, they cannot
see the horizon. And without seeing the horizon, they are not ready to think about
the search for meaning in their life.
The importance of meanings and values in times of despair and doubt in terms
of helping people withstand the vicissitudes of life has paved the way for many
innovations in psychotherapeutic intervention. Among these techniques, that of
appealing to the human dignity of a person has been developed and used with
impressive results by Lukas (1986b). The technique rests on the power of sugges-
tion. As such, it is contradictory to the logotherapeutic value of free will. Freedom
of the will means respecting clients’ rights to decide how they wish to lead their
lives, to choose their own way. The logotherapist uses the appealing technique
only in cases in which the noetic (spiritual) dimension is temporarily blocked.
We can stay well, Lukas (1986b) says, by using our will power to stabilize our
emotional state. Psychosomatic medicine, as Takashima and Frankl have shown,
contains both possibilities and explanations for getting sick or for staying healthy
and well. If stress can be triggered in the psyche, it can also be prevented by the
psyche. The will to live and reach a certain goal strengthens the body’s capacity to
withstand illness and resist the forces of destruction. Gerontology literature often
includes stories of how very old and sick people cheat death by surviving “only
until my granddaughter gets married” or “only until Christmas.” These people
exhibit strength of will beyond the ordinary; they prove the significance of self-
transcendence for survival.
Ordinary people have shown repeatedly that a brave personal attitude toward
death and dying is dependent only on the person, and not on his or her
circumstances. The professional literature in social work and psychology is replete
with case illustrations about the use of this technique when dealing with people
in despair. Such people are in desperate need of a supporting hand, raising their
hopes for survival. Surprisingly, however, hope has not received much attention in
modern gerontology. Nevertheless, almost everybody knows that lack of hope can
100 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

lead to despair and even to suicide, especially among the old. Without hope,
without care, without direction, and without a reason to live for something or for
someone, a human being may lose interest in life. Enhancing clients’ hope and
using it to change maladaptive coping behavior can help them get rid of their
preoccupation with despair. The following case illustrates this point.
There are many old survivors of the Holocaust who live in despair. One of
these, whom I knew and cared for, was seventy-nine-year-old Mr. Green (not his
real name). He was sick with diabetes. He told me that “pretty soon” he would die.
“You see,” he said, “I am completely alone. My entire family perished in the
concentration camp. I myself was hardly able to survive and to escape death. As
long as I could take care of myself I did so, but now, who needs an old man?”
Before I could reply he added, “Who cares? Who cares for one old man?”
“Yes, perhaps you are right,” I said. “But, tell me, why you are still here? If you
are serious in what you said, you need company. You need people to share your
thoughts with, to listen to, from whom to hear that not only you had such horrible
and painful experiences. There are others who have experienced even worse things
and whose circumstances are more depressing than yours. It is important that you
hear that there are many happy occasions which they experience and these are
open for you too. Are you really serious about throwing away your life?” The old
man kept silent for a long while. Then he sighed and said, “Perhaps you are right.
I really didn’t think about the others. I was too busy with my own sorrow. You are
right. I know several survivors whose conditions are far worse than mine, people
hardly alive, and nevertheless they seem to be enjoying every minute, every
meeting with others. Perhaps I should join them.”
 Part Two

Applied Aspects of
Meaningful Living in
Old Age
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 11

The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for

Discovering Meaning in Life

If many ways are closed for you, look at the vast fields of action still open before you
in which you can be useful to society. (Seneca, 1997, On Mental Calmness, p. 22)

Logotherapy relates to the world in many ways. Each of these is built on values
anchored in the culture in which one lives. In The Doctor and the Soul, Frankl
(1986) says that our values and our philosophical attitude to life give us a limited
perspective on the world, like a cross-section: The values that guide our lives are
related to the tasks that we are fulfilling. Life demands the use of spiritual
flexibility to use well the opportunities for finding meaning that are thrown in
our path.
According to logotherapy, there are at least twelve ways in which we can
discover and find meaning in our lives, some of which have already been
mentioned in this book. The first three, which these constitute Frankl’s original
and basic ways for finding meaning in life, will be explicated in detail and the rest
will be described briefly.

1. The passive way, which relies on personal experiences that one gains in
encounters with nature and other human beings.
2. The active way, which relies on human creativity and actions.
3. The attitudes we take toward the inevitable events in our lives.
4. The way of symbolic growth, meaning that some special life event or
experience causes us to undergo a very important change in our behavior that
may result in a feeling of spiritual growth.
5. The way of discovering our real being and understanding who we are and
what we want to be or to become.
6. The way of choice, meaning the use of our freedom to choose—from various
alternatives—the one that can give meaning to our lives.

103
104 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

7. The feeling that we are unique and different from other human beings, along
with the decision to use this uniqueness in the service of an ideal or for other
human beings.
8. The way of responsibility, the way of our intention to accept full responsibility
for our decisions.
9. The ability to transcend ourselves, above and beyond ourselves, in special
situations.
10. The ability to turn guilt feelings into a lever for doing something positive and
useful. (Chapter Eleven in this book is devoted to this important way.)
11. The ability to discover meaning in suffering and pain.
12. Accepting the fact that life is transitory and that we are the only creatures on
this Earth who are aware of their own deaths. This discovery should lead us
toward the reawakening of our responsibility toward life, rather than to the
denial of death’s existence.

Logotherapy has broadened the concept of meaning by incorporating spiritual

meaning into its theory of human motivation. Spiritual meaning means relating
to the world via the three worlds of values, each of which hold possibilities for
finding meaning in life:

1. The world of experiences, or the world of experiential values, such as meetings

and departures; love; hate and other sensual experiences, such as looking at
nature and experiencing its beauty, enjoying works of art; listening to music;
and many other emotional and sensual experiences derived from this basically
passive attitude to what we get freely from the world.
2. The world of creativity, or the world of creative values, which includes all of
those activities that contribute to the world. This world has almost limitless
expressions. Each human being contributes something to the world, at least in
theory, even if this contribution is related to procreation alone, as Nietzsche
cynically remarked. Creativity is not limited to age, gender, religion, or to
physical condition. It stems from the inner life, from the human imagination,
spirituality, and soul.
3. The world of attitudes, or the world of human relationships, is connected to
the way that people relate to their fate and destiny and to the events in their
lives that cannot be changed, such as suffering and pain because of illness,
accidents, terror, and death. What is especially important in this last of the
three worlds is the attitude that one takes toward what happens and doing the
right and appropriate thing in the situation at hand.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MUSIC TO ONE’S SOUL

The ancient Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle saw in music the gift of the
gods and connected music with logos, the human spirit, as divine gifts for
humankind. Thus we refer to the great works of Mozart and Beethoven, for
The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for Discovering Meaning in Life 105

example, as heavenly music. Music uplifts the soul. It creates a quest for beauty,
wonder, and grandeur that is difficult to express in words. Music fills the human
heart with hope, gives strength, power, and courage, and can push us to action. It
is hard to imagine someone, unless that person were completely deaf, whose eyes
would not fill with tears on hearing the “Choir of the Slaves” in Verdi’s opera
Nabucho.
Music enables us to accept our existence on this Earth more easily. It reminds
us that, despite everything, despite all of the troubles and calamities of life, there
is still beauty in the world, sense in life, and reason and meaning in suffering and
in the fight for survival. Music is the elixir for an aching heart.
Classical and popular music can awaken the heart, soul, and spirit and, via the
beauty of the sound, give new meaning to life. The same applies to religious
music, which can uplift the soul to heaven and fill the entire being with awe. For
many older people, music, and especially religious music, can be part of the
experiential world of values that Frankl described in some of his major works.
Today it is almost taken for granted that music has therapeutic powers for all
ages, but particularly for older people. Music can bring back long-forgotten
feelings and memories, open new vistas, and suggest new areas for meaningful
activities, even in advanced age.

THE THERAPEUTIC POWER OF MUSIC IN OLD AGE

A noted cantor in the Jewish religious world told this story about a ninety-
year-old person—one of the greatest cantors and composers of Jewish religious
music, who taught many famous performers and was a well-known conductor
too—who in his old age became blind and lived in a nursing home without
doing anything. This old man used to sit all day in the lobby of the nursing
home and did not communicate with the other patients or the staff who took
care of him diligently. The younger cantor decided, therefore, to try to move this
old man by playing for him pieces of religious music that this man had known
way back.
“It is impossible to describe the change that happened,” said the younger
cantor. The old man started to move his lips and hands with the motions of a
conductor, tried to sing, and, when asked, knew exactly which piece of music was
playing, who composed it, who conducted it, and who performed it. And, from
that day on, this man started to communicate and collaborate with his fellow
residents in matters of common interest to which he had previously been
completely indifferent.
Playing liturgical music during major holy days and Friday evenings provides
special meaning for the physically impaired. The therapeutic power of music for
older people in particular was evidenced by this author, too. During his
sabbatical year in Budapest, Hungary, he was involved, as an advisor to the
director of the Jewish Distribution Committee, in setting up social, cultural, and
recreational services for elderly survivors of the Holocaust and helped establish a
106 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

social club based on the principles of logotherapy. The purpose was to enable the
older people to use their spiritual resources: to uplift their souls, safeguard their
human dignity, and strengthen their resolve to spend their remaining years in
dignity and creativity.
“Café Stockholm 84” (Fried, 1989) was used as a model for this quest. This
model of working with elderly survivors of the Holocaust, and with others as well,
has proved to be readily applicable. It is used today in many places, including a
social club for survivors in London (Hassan, 1992). The idea is to establish the
atmosphere of a Central European café, such as those that were well known in
pre–World War II Europe, all over this area of the world and elsewhere, with
which the survivors were familiar in their youth. Music plays an important role:
The participants sit, drink coffee, and listen to their favorite pieces of music. They
enjoy warm and supportive attention from the staff.
Many older people could not learn music in their youth or find time to enjoy
music because of the difficulties of providing for their families and growing
children. A creative idea employed in this club was bringing a volunteer musician
and conductor to teach the older people how to enjoy music. This musician came
once a week for the entire year, taught them various pieces of music that were
particularly meaningful for them, and explained and demonstrated these pieces
on the piano. The result was simply great. The music brought people together
and motivated them to contribute their own creativity for the same purpose. It
encouraged additional musicians to come and perform voluntarily before this
audience.
There were, in addition, lectures on music and singing and visits to the opera
and to concerts. The high point in these activities was forming a choir, which the
old survivors organized, conducted, and maintained. Participants emphasized
that they had gained an important and meaningful experience. The music they
heard, composed, nurtured and developed, along with the singing and the choir,
opened a new world for them, the world of meaningful experiences, and it
changed their entire lives.

LITERATURE AS A SOURCE OF JOY AND MEANING IN OLD AGE

One of the most pleasurable ways of finding meaning in life in old age is via
literature. Older people who are able to read or have someone read to them can
find satisfaction in reading the works of great writers, poets, and thinkers.
Literature opens new ways for human relationships and enables the older person
to sail to reality or to the world of the imagination as they are reflected in literary
creations.
There are aged people who never needed books in their long lives. It is hard to
imagine that these people would become bookworms all of a sudden. Those who
were always attracted to literary masterpieces continue to engage in the effort, even
in their advanced years, and enjoy reading their favorite books. This can be seen in
the large numbers of old people who flock to book fairs, libraries, and lectures and
The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for Discovering Meaning in Life 107

presentations by writers, poets, and literary critics and who watch programs about
books and literature on television or listen to radio presentations.
Literature in its broadest sense offers approaches to cultural, psychological, and
social phenomena; it opens new ways to personal and professional connections. It
enables therapists and the aged to deepen their self-knowledge and to take a stand
against the variety of human problems with which it deals. Literature turns to the
social reality as an integral part of living and encompasses the worlds of many
generations and their relationships, including their complex perceptions and atti-
tudes to life. Literature enlightens the connections among the generations, deals
with the eternal problems of human beings, describes the struggle for survival and
for preserving dignity in old age, and provides new meaning to the concept of
mental health.
Literary creativity is not diminished with advancing age. Only in the roman-
tic myths developed during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries did some
people claim that creativity weakens with advancing years. Older writers, poets,
and philosophers are free of social conventions. They are aware of the opposing
forces in human life; they are aware of the tragic and the comic dwelling
together in the human soul. Important examples of this tragic co-existence are
found in works such as Cervantes’s Don Quixote, Voltaire’s Candide, and
Thomas Mann’s The Confessions of Felix Krull. In each of these works, emphasis
is placed on wisdom, morality, and the lessons that the young can acquire from
the older generation.
Literary creations are a special art and mystery that are ageless. In many literary
works, there is a revolt of the aged against the tyranny of youth. There is also a
serene acceptance of the facts of life. From the poverty that accompanies the aging
of many great writers and poets, great works of art are sometimes born. The
artistic achievement gives impetus for further struggle with the vicissitudes of life,
for creation and expression.
Many great works in literature were completed when their creators were old:
Cervantes was sixty-eight years old when he finished writing Don Quixote;
Tolstoy was eighty-eight when he wrote What Is Art?; Sigmund Freud was sixty-
seven when he published The Ego and the Id; and George Bernard Shaw was
sixty-eight when he completed the play Saint Johanna.
Engagement with literature does not need to be passive. Each older person
has a fascinating life story based on the simple fact that she or he has lived a long
life and has experienced many events, has had many successes and failures,
illnesses and accidents. What is particularly interesting in each such life review
is how the older person was able to survive and cope with difficulties.
A story based on real-life experiences is always fascinating. In such a tale, we
can detect worlds that are hidden from one that has no knowledge about them,
and in each there are opportunities for responding to life’s demand of all of us.
Writing enables people to perceive their life and the lives of others from a distance,
to discover hidden elements, to gain new understanding or at least a different one.
This understanding is both fascinating and painful.
108 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

LOVE’S MANY FACES IN THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE

Like the richness of life, with its never-ending changes, so are love and sex rich
with change in the second half of life. Attitude to erotica is different from one
individual to the next. Experience teaches that, if there are no physiological
problems, illnesses, or loss of desire and interest, sexual life can go on for many
years, in old age as well as in the second half of life.
Erotica continues to be a central factor, even at advanced ages. Charlie Chaplin,
for example, became a father when he passed the age of eighty. There are others
who are happy to end their sexual activities much earlier. Many women are happy
when they become free of their marital obligations toward their husbands. These
are usually women who were unhappy in their sexual lives long before they
reached old age.
Many aging men are running after younger women to prove to themselves that
they are still macho. They tend to relate to their sexual powers as the expression
of their self-worth. Loss of their masculine power is like a death sentence for them.
No wonder that they seek all kinds of medications to strengthen their self-image.
In the second half of life, when the family nest becomes empty, a crisis may
happen in the life of the aging couple. All of a sudden the partners find themselves
face-to-face with the new reality, and they must learn anew how to relate to each
other. Therefore, it is important to learn how to awaken and to keep alive the
sexual attraction that existed in the beginning of the couple’s life.
In the second half of life, gradually, and, in later years, with growing urgency,
the need arises to add a spiritual dimension to sexual life, in addition to its
physical aspects. It is preferable that the emphasis on physical satisfaction give way
to satisfactions whose sources are embedded in tenderness, appreciation of the
partner’s personality, and the desire to build a new co-existence based on mutual
respect.
It is hard to withstand the many temptations that exist in the modern world
and impossible to root them out. Desire is stronger than ability, and, when the two
are not in accord, the aging individual is condemned to suffering. The beauty of
youth may attract both sexes in such force that they may not withstand it at times.
One can use humor and irony to combat this situation. (It is told that two old
men, aged eighty-five, were walking in a park when all of a sudden a beautiful
young lady in her twenties passed them. One of them said to the other with a great
sigh, “If I could be seventy!”) One may also use techniques of de-reflection, such
as exercises, meditation, and yoga, to withstand temptation. Above all, there is a
need to balance sexual life by learning anew the art of love in its broadest sense.
Love is the subject of some of the greatest novels ever written. Two love stories
are provided here for illustration and for whetting the appetite of those who
would like to read more about this fascinating subject: Death in Venice (1994),
Thomas Mann’s classic novel, deals with a utopian love of a middle-aged or “pre-
elderly” man for a painfully beautiful young lad he meets in the city of the
gondolas. The mature man is strangely attracted to the beauty, the perfection, and
the art that, in his eyes, dwell together in this young creature. That beauty
The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for Discovering Meaning in Life 109

fascinates and enchants the older man, and, in order to be near the beautiful boy,
he is ready to face ridicule, laughter, and derision. In the end, this man even falls
victim to the plague that spreads through the city.
This story reminds us that each individual has a dream that combines reality
with imagination, but not many older people are willing to take the risk of living
their dreams in actuality. The ones who dare may gain a wonderful gift, that of
discovering meaning in their lives.
A literary hero endowed with a courageous heart for realizing his dream and
erotic love for his beloved is the eighty-four-year-old “King of the Confection.”
Roman Gary’s (1980) unforgettable book The Dread of King Solomon describes
the old hero’s great love for Cora, his companion before the Nazi invasion of Paris,
and his search for her after the war ended. Cora was a well-known singer during
those times, but because of her association with a Nazi officer, she was shunned
and forgotten. Now, at age sixty-five, she lives in destitute circumstances. The King
himself—as is commonly known in the city—became rich from his thriving con-
fection business after the war and devoted his life to charity. He meets Jan, a young
taxi driver and jack-of-all trades and occupations, who serves as messenger for the
King and as deliveryman of the gifts and presents that the King sends regularly to
many needy aged people.
Gary describes the old man beautifully, with much love, as a forceful older
man, dressed in an elegant suit made of durable long-lasting cloth, who defiantly
visits the fortune teller to prove that he still has a future, exercises regularly, and is
looking in a matchmaker’s office for a long-lasting marriage, a partner in life.
Both elderly heroes are lonely people. Both are unhappy and suffering and they
desperately need each other. Jan, with his realistic attitude to life, understands
their loneliness and longing and arranges a meeting between the King and Cora.
This fateful meeting leads to the reunion of the former lovers and to the
blossoming of a great and enthusiastic love.
Love’s great power can withstand all of the vicissitudes of life and the vagaries of
fate. It is strong enough to hold during even the greatest storms and trials in life. The
hero is equipped with a strong yet sensitive character and is wise enough to do good
things for others while he is still able. The old hero in this moving book understands
that his wealth can buy almost anything, except what he yearns for—love.
The King is a model of healthy old age, the living example of logotherapy’s
attitude to life, a hero who Gary’s talent has breathed life into. This man
exemplifies Frankl’s own attitude to life, of saying yes to life despite all of the
limiting circumstances. This “despite” has great value for survival in old age, as
Gary tells us via his hero; he calls on all of us to emulate him.

MEANINGFUL INTERGENERATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Grandfathers and grandmothers serve as important models for their
grandchildren. They are necessary links between past and future. The stories they
tell about places, events, and people; the photos they show; the sayings they
110 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

repeat; the advice they give; and the love and kindness they bestow on the young
generation work in two ways. For their own children and grandchildren, they
enliven meaningful life events in the past. They also refresh family traditions and
enable the next generations to take part in their experiences, feelings, and
memories. They get recognition that they have something of value to pass on to
the younger generations.
Although some aging people are convinced that their children and grand-
children have no interest in those memories, because they are connected to a
different historical time, research on the next generation, and especially on
grandchildren, has shown that this is not true. Many elderly people kept their
memories hidden deep inside their souls. Today they know that they made a
mistake. Adult children and young grandchildren are interested to learn from
the past, especially about events related to their own extended family.
Oscar Wilde (1856–1900) wrote a beautiful story for children and adults called
The Selfish Giant (1990). In the story a giant chases away the children who are
playing in his garden and even builds a high wall to keep them out so that he can
hide from the world. But the giant gets punished; the garden remains empty and
forlorn. Without the children, spring refuses to come to his place. When the
children sneak back to the garden, everything fills with joy, laughter, and life.
The behavior of the giant resembles many aging people who, in their old age,
search for a place to stay alone and even erect walls around themselves. These walls
are not made of bricks and stones, yet, like real walls in the physical sense, they are
built for the same purpose—to keep others from entering their inner lives. When
people keep on building walls and strengthening them, there is a danger that they
will indeed keep the spring away, keep the joy of life away. In order to pull the
lonely old person out from his garden, physically and emotionally, there is a need
to renew his or her connections with the human (social) world.
The connection between the children and the giant resembles the connection of
the aging individual with the younger generations as it gradually turns into a con-
nection of mutual love. In a beautiful passage in the story that touches the heart,
Wilde tells us how the giant arrived at the decision to destroy the wall and let the
children freely enter the garden: When a small boy tried to climb on a tree and did
not succeed, the giant helped him, lifted the small boy, and placed him on a branch,
and suddenly his heart was filled with joy and love. This feeling was intensified
when the small boy put his arms around the giant’s neck and kissed him.
Generations are social units connected in a given historical time, in which there
are changes and continuity. Today there are many opportunities for finding
meaning in life by fostering better connections among the generations. Yet not
every individual knows how to use the opportunities that are open.
In the work of the South African writer, Ran Jacobson, for example, The Zulu
and the Zaide (Brody, 1995), the story focuses on an older white parent whose son
disregards his father’s need for love and care, and his place in the family is taken
over by a young black servant from the Zulu tribe. This servant is endowed with
wonderful sensitivity and tact and cares for the old father with devotion and
The Gifts of the Gods: Sources for Discovering Meaning in Life 111

kindness. The connection between them becomes stronger and stronger with each
passing year until the old man dies. The son learns too late what he has missed and
must live with his bad conscience throughout his life.
Love of a small child for an old man, not his grandfather, is the subject of a
story by the Israeli writer Nira Harel (1981). “Koby Knows” is a story about an old
man who cannot find the house he lives in and cannot remember the family name
of his son, who has changed his name from Polish to Hebrew. This old man is
called by the children in the neighborhood “Hayim Eyeglasses.” Koby is a lonely
child, the only son of a divorced mother who came to live in this neighborhood
not long ago and who, so far, has not adjusted to life in the new environment.
Hayim Eyeglasses has no grandchildren. Koby sees him as an old, weak, and
lost man. The old man arrived by mistake at the apartment of Koby. This mistake
created new meanings in the lives of these heroes in the story. The child adopts
Hayim Eyeglasses as his grandfather, and the old man gains a grandchild. They
need each other and together they complete each other’s lives.
Each generation must transfer to the next the strength for dealing with its own
aging. The strength of the old is expressed in wisdom, beginning with the
knowledge that has accumulated and ending with good judgment. When this
wisdom is spiced with spiritual energy and joy of life and combined with volun-
tary renunciation of all superfluous things, such as vanity and honors, some old
people can teach the younger generation how to age with dignity, without falling
into despair.
In the second half of life, Erikson (1964) says that people close the circle of
their life. This closing is not done linearly. Thus it points to the possibility of a new
beginning, to renewal. That renewal can happen in the second half of life.
Sometimes the same beginning is expressed as a return to the wonderful traits of
childhood: curiosity, joy of life, search for the magic and wonders of nature, and
discovery of their meaning. Some people may return to other traits, to the childish
ones—to dependency on others or to helplessness.

DISCOVERING MEANING IN OLD-AGE HOMES

The world of an old-age home, with its intricate human relationships, is well
known to millions of people in the West and other industrialized countries. Old-
age homes contain a cargo of human lives. Each individual is a world in himself
or herself, and each world develops its own unique approach to the place and to
the people who live there. Many of the new residents in such places live in anxiety
about the unknown environment with which they have to cope or, at least, come
to terms. Yet even in this world, people can use their unique capacity to rise above
and beyond the surrounding physical and social circumstances and conditions
and to discover new meaning to their old age.
This world is the subject of great literary creations. One of these I wish to
present here for illustration. The famous writer Bohumil Hrabal, winner of the
Nobel Prize for literature, whose attitude toward meaning in life has been
112 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

presented earlier in this book, describes with humor and irony the relationships
among the residents of an old-age home and their offspring in his novel The
Millions of Harlekin (1997).
Hrabal uses an old-age home as an allegory for life itself. A young physician on
the premises serves as son and grandson for the residents, bringing new spirit and
joy to the lives of the people there by playing classical music and songs that they
all know and are familiar with. They can even hum this music together. This
music, the “millions of Harlekin,” is played all day long, over and over, in every
room of the old-age home, and the young doctor recites some words from the
poem of Franz Liszt, the composer: “be careful with your words, for a rough word
truly hurts; and when you these pronounced; you already regretted. And your
heart aches, for you didn’t mean” (p. 140).
People can discover meaning in life and enjoy life in many ways: in work,
including volunteering, hobbies, and all kinds of creative activities. They can find
meaning in travels and hikes in nature, in gazing at the sunrise and the sunset, in
the stars and the sea, in lakes and forests. They can find meaning in the many
forms and expressions of art, music, dancing, drawing, sculpture, and writing.
And above all, they can find meaning in humor and laughter, of which more will
be said in the next chapter.
 12

The Importance of Humor and

Laughter in Old Age

An old man was asked by his friend: “Tell me, what do you do now that you’ve
retired?” His friend answers, “Each morning the maid brings me a cup of tea and the
papers. I drink the tea very slowly and read all the obituaries. If my name is not
listed, I get up and go for a walk.” (Cohen, 1994, p. 368)

The power of humor and laughter as primary means for survival was already
noted by the ancient Greeks and Romans in many humorous plays, satires, and
poems used on various occasions in the theater and elsewhere. The Bible also
contains humor and laughter, but these instances are different from what is
commonly perceived as humor and what scholars see as such. In the Bible humor
is literary, circumscribed, assumed, and delicate; it requires the reader’s use of
imagination.
Humor and laughter are seen today as therapeutic, relaxing, and enjoyable
values that help people face difficulties, hardships, distress, stressful life situations,
and even calamities and traumas.
Attitude toward humor and laughter is always individualistic and subjective.
What makes one person burst into laughter is not necessarily so funny to another
human being. Cultural background, intellectual level, personal mood, and social
attitudes influence the perception of what is humoristic and laughable and
channel humor in commonly known and accepted ways in a given society, giving
it special character and characteristics.
Some people are quick witted and get the point of a joke in an instant. Others
need some time before they perceive what is so funny, and still others need an
explanation before they can understand the same joke. And there are the serious
ones who will not descend to this level because they have no sense of humor and
are afraid to admit it.
Having a sense of humor is such an important personal characteristic that
people are willing to accept many weaknesses and shortcomings—except the lack
113
114 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

of a sense of humor. A well-developed sense of humor occupies an honorable

position among all human values.
There are three areas of creativity that do not contradict themselves: humor,
revelation, and art. Karl Marx saw in humor an important factor in the
historical development of humankind: “History passes many phases until she
puts an old design to rest; and the last phase in that process is comedy.” It seems
that Marx had a good sense of humor when he added, “Why does history go
this way? To let the human race leave the past with a good feeling” (Szalay,
1983, p. 160).
Of the considerable literature on the importance of humor and laughter, this
author has selected what he subjectively thinks is relevant and directly connected
to the main thrust of this book. In general, there are five groups of theories that
deal with humor and laughter—theories that deal with the psychoanalytical
perspective; emphasize comical, mismatch, discrepancy, incompatibility, and
maladjustment; legitimize the worlds of adults and children; support self-worth
and liberation from anxiety; perceive humor and laughter as social roles and stress
social communication and critique of society; and emphasize the creativity vested
in humor and its symbolical meaning (Cohen, 1994).
Humor as it is perceived today is a relatively new phenomenon. It surfaced
mainly during the past three hundred years. The ancient Greeks, for example, per-
ceived humor as a bodily fluid or physiological phenomenon that influenced
mood.
Socrates, the wise philosopher in Athens, saw in humor a mixture of what is
beautiful and painful in the human soul, and he thought that many human
characteristics and traits are connected in this mixture. Even the most tragic thing
can create a sense of beauty, as in the ancient Greek tragedies.
Although humor is an abstract concept, its expression in the form of a joke is
a kind of art or artistic creation. Humor, as the psychologist Reuven P. Bulka
(1989) has said, is one of the most useful ways for the individual to gain distance
from a given situation. By laughing at fate, people can get out of themselves and
look on fate as if they were watching it from the outside. Humor enables people
to gain an ability to rise above and beyond the circumstances in which they live in
reality (Bulka, 1989, p. 51).

THE VALUE OF HUMOR IN THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE

Humor’s therapeutic value has been known in all cultures for thousands of
years, as the literature on this subject indicates. Each nation has its own collections
of humorous stories, plays, sayings, proverbs, and so on that show the importance
people everywhere attach to humor and laughter.
Modern medicine has also made good use of this human ability. For example,
the American writer Norman Cousins (1981) gave an illuminating account in
Anatomy of an Illness of how he treated himself with laughter after he was
sentenced to death by several physicians. Cousins had included in this book the
The Importance of Humor and Laughter in Old Age 115

results of a survey involving thousands of doctors as to the therapeutic power of

humor and laughter, and the results indicated that laughter is indeed the best
medicine.
With its many sides and forms, humor has a direct influence on the
physiological and mental functioning of the human being. Mother Nature saw to
it that we should relieve ourselves from harmful stresses via laughter, which
speeds the functioning of the hormones in our bodies.
Laughter can ease pain or, at least, lets us forget it for a time and thus brings
relief to a suffering individual. Almost all physiological systems are influenced by
humor and laughter. The latter strengthens the immune system, improves the
quantity of oxygen in the blood, activates muscles, relaxes stress, and even helps
against constipation. Laughter serves as a proven medication against bitterness,
frustration, and despair by breaking the pattern that is characteristic of an
ailment.
The special value of humor in old age is vested in its ability to help the aged to
cope successfully with the vicissitudes of life. Freud (1982) discovered the
importance of the psychological defense mechanisms against the urges of the
biological instincts with which we are endowed.
Researchers in gerontology found that, in old age, emphasis should be placed
on the mechanisms of coping with physical and mental losses that nobody can
escape (Cohen, 1994). These mechanisms are behavioral, emotional, and mental
reactions, and they have a two-fold function: they help older people solve
problems that cause tensions and they diminish emotional unease that
accompanies a stressful situation. Therefore it is important to include humor
and laughter, jokes and wittiness, funny stories, anecdotes, play on words, and
other literary and poetic content that can cause enjoyment for students and
learners in the helping professions, particularly in teaching gerontology,
medicine, and geriatrics.
The application in the field of various forms of humor, in appropriate quantity
and at the right time, can advance and enhance the health of an older person,
spread a good atmosphere in the classroom, raise awareness and creativity in the
use of humor, and put a therapeutically useful and enjoyable tool in the hands of
the therapists who are working with older individuals.
Humor is one means that can be used in actively fighting tensions, as well as
in the search for knowledge to understand a situation and act for change. This
form of coping with problems and stresses that are acting on an older person
is of utmost importance; it is the best and most useful strategy for achieving
this purpose.
Humor is equal to the enjoyment that people feel when they stumble into a
ridiculous situation; it is the ability to laugh at what is hidden in the message for
that purpose. Humor is a cognitive ability to perceive human relationships and
ideas in an uncommon way.
The social value of humor and laughter is well known. They serve as the glue
that promotes feelings of solidarity and internal cohesion, relieves tensions and
116 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

conflicts, helps overcome crises, and creates a pleasant atmosphere. An older

person with a sense of humor is better for a group than an angry and quarrelsome
one. People who know how to keep their sense of humor and use it wisely are
more readily accepted by their peers and by the younger generation. Humor can
change a person’s attitude to the world and to the reality in which he or she lives;
its therapeutic value is priceless.
Laughter enables us to escape from the humdrum activities of daily life. This is
most probably the reason why most people turn first to the daily comics and
cartoons in the newspapers. Laughter permits the renewal of strength and powers.
It also has practical aspects: it brings a good feeling in its wake and helps us
overcome boredom and fatigue. Its main benefit is in the mental tranquility that
it causes. Laughter has a positive influence on human physiology.
The famous philosopher Immanuel Kant (1724–1804) placed laughter next to
hope and sleep as the most beneficial means of renewing the soul. There are
educational results, too, that are connected to laughter. People learn more easily
and with greater joy and enthusiasm when the material for learning is offered in
a humoristic way. Laughter enables people to escape the burden that they feel in
situations that involve a feeling of inferiority. When we laugh at something or
someone, we feel, at least temporarily, superiority over the one at whom we are
laughing.

FREUD’S ATTITUDE TOWARD JOKES

Freud first published his serious work “The Joke and Its Relationship to the
Unconscious” in 1905, after he had systematically collected Jewish jokes since
1897. This collection represents a much-respected contribution to the prevailing
social, cultural, and worldview of those times. This book was a serious analysis of
the joke’s technique. Freud was not only a master of the human psyche, but he also
showed his serious attitude to jokes in general and to their importance in the
psychological lives of human beings.
The essence of a joke is to enable one to find hidden meaning in two opposing
things. The joke may be defined as giving meaning to what appears to be lacking
meaning. It is based on surprise and on instant insight. The body and soul of the
joke are the brevity with which it achieves its point.
The joke is always aimed at unity, yet in a humoristic form. For example,
people’s lives have two parts: in the first part, they say to themselves, “I wish I were
already living in the second part.” In the second part, they say, “I wish I were living
in the first part.”
Another example is a joke attributed to Lichtenberg as told by Freud (1982,
p. 82): “The month of January is the month in which man sends cordial
greetings to his friends; and the rest of the months are spent wishing that they
will not materialize.”
What is common to both jokes is that they use the same material—the first
part of life as opposed to the second part, or the month of January as opposed to
The Importance of Humor and Laughter in Old Age 117

all the rest of the months—that is, known materials, but in a different and original
form that unites the content and forms humor and laughter.
As for the means that the joke uses, Freud made a comparison of the joke with
the dream and saw that they have similar lines, despite differences. The similarities
include concentration and reduction, transference (in the Freudian sense), a
mistaken argumentation and reasoning, absurdity, double meaning, a multitude
of meanings, contrariness, and repeated use of the same material in its entirety or
partially (p. 58).
Freud also differentiated between naïve and purposeful jokes. The latter he
described as expressing forbidden contents, hostility, and vulgarity and as
enabling the satisfaction of an instinct, passion, or hostile feeling toward
something that blocks the way for these to act. They circumvent the block and,
along the way, produce enjoyment from the same source—access to which the
block has closed.
Freud was aware of the importance of logical mistakes included in the joke,
and he used these to show the unconscious intentions in human behavior. The
source of producing pleasure by humor is in the emotions. In his important essay
on the joke and its relationship to the unconscious, Freud presented many
illustrations from the treasury of Jewish jokes, particularly some of the comical
characters and situations that characterize these jokes.
Of the many characters in Jewish humor, Freud emphasized four that represent
the special ability of this much-persecuted people to find laughter even amid
terrible situations: the luckless, the beggar, the matchmaker, and the naïve. They
serve as inexhaustible material for jokes.
The following is an illustration of the many jokes on the matchmaker: A
matchmaker offers a bride to a young man, but he finds all kinds of
shortcomings in her and in his future mother-in-law. The young man says, “I
don’t like my mother-in-law. She is an old and stupid woman.” The match-
maker replies, “But you don’t marry her, only her daughter.” “Yes,” says the
young man, “but the bride is no longer young and is far from being beautiful.”
“So what?” says the matchmaker, “she’ll be more faithful to you.” “But she has
little money,” says the young man. “Who is talking here of money?” asks the
matchmaker. “Do you want money or a wife?” “But she is a hunchback, too, in
addition to all the rest,” says the young man. “So what do you think, young
man?” asks the matchmaker, “that she will be without blemish?” (Freud, 1982,
p. 78)
Freud investigated the unconscious elements included in the joke, the hoax,
and anecdotes in his cultural environment and found that the joke is the most
popular. Jokes provide opportunities for more meaningful enjoyment. They
enable one to express unconscious emotions, attitudes, and thoughts; only a joke
can make the point and, without the point, there is no joke. The joke tries to give
the most laughter and happiness to the second party. We cannot laugh at our own
jokes. When we tell a joke or anecdote to another person, we enjoy it ourselves,
and we laugh with that person, even if to a lesser degree.
118 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

THE JOKE AS A MEANS FOR SURVIVAL

Freud (1982) wrote that humor is the opposite of acceptance. Humor is teas-
ing that promises the victory of the ego and the principles of pleasure that can
express itself in this form, despite the distress or hardship. Freud saw in humor
medication against pain. He wrote: “As a means of defense against pain, humor
occupies a place in the long line of methods that people have built and used to free
themselves from the tensions that the pain creates” (p. 163).
The joke opens the door to unconscious energies and enables them to escape
from repression. The dream and the joke use similar ways to overcome the
barriers that the human consciousness erects to prevent unwelcome and
forbidden thoughts from entering the consciousness. Although this clearing or
elimination is done by a complex and masked process in the dream, the process
used in the joke is less serious. The joke is able to express its real content directly
and openly, and the censor (the super ego) has less control of the joke than of the
dream.
The joke is the most social of the psychic processes. It needs other people in
order to exist. It must be understood by people, despite all of its camouflage of
words, in order to cause laughter and joy from the original thought. The joke is a
game that, like all games, aims at releasing repressed energy to be used in the
service of happiness. It is aimed at the satisfaction of a need via a sly detour of its
purpose. It wishes to cause delight. Both of these actions are joined together in
mental activity (1982, p. 194).
Only a healthy psyche is able to enjoy humor, and only a healthy individual can
laugh without restraint. Laughter heals the soul and defends against sickness.
Jewish humor, for example, is aimed at one who has experienced loneliness as a
result of his or her faith and religion. Such humor is historically connected to the
fate of the Jewish people, the eternal victims of jealousy and persecution. They
have shown the world an ability to survive, to rise from the ashes, to blossom, and
to resist all attempts to oppress them.
Bulka (1989) tells the classic joke of those four hundred Jews who suddenly died
during a pogrom and were rushed up to heaven. The gatekeeper was slightly unpre-
pared and asked a compatriot in hell to take care of these people for one day while
arrangements were made to give them proper habitat in heaven. About half way
through this period, the gatekeeper of hell called up to his colleague in heaven and
said that he could not keep those people there any longer. “What’s the problem?
Why can’t you keep them a little longer?” asked the gatekeeper of heaven. “You see,
these people have only been here for less than a day and they have already raised
half a million dollars to install an air-conditioning system” (p. 51).
Mobilization of the individual’s sense of humor can be used for a host of
problems, as Bulka (1989) has stated: “When one is mired in a situation, which
taken seriously would lead one to becoming depressed or almost suicidal, then
laughing at fate becomes a survival tool par excellence” (p. 51).
Even prisoners in Nazi concentration camps developed humor and used it to
survive all of the horrors, atrocities, and dangers in their lives. This kind of humor
The Importance of Humor and Laughter in Old Age 119

is called gallows humor. It became an integral part of life in the camps. It protected
the courage of the prisoners and raised their morale (Cronstrom-Beskow, 1991).
Humor enabled the prisoners to break the pattern of fear and the expectation of
anxiety that enhances it and to control their own destinies to some degree, rather
than to remain victims of the instincts that push them to obsessive behaviors.
Frankl personally experienced that no amount of persuasion, force, explanation, or
guidance suffices for people who are mired in their own fear. Only turning to the
human capacity to laugh via humor gets the sought-after result.

APPROACHES TO HUMOR AND JOKES IN LOGOTHERAPY

In his autobiography, What Isn’t Written in My Books (1995), Frankl said that,
for a long time, he toyed with the idea of writing a book about the metaphysical
aspects of jokes. To the chagrin of those who knew firsthand his enormous ability
to erect and develop new and bold ideas on human behavior, this wish of his did
not materialize.
Frankl loved jokes. He had a strong sense of humor, and he used it in social and
professional occasions in his lectures and discussions. As a master of humor,
Frankl also had a wide range of jokes that encompassed many areas of life and
made each meeting with him delightful. His very good sense of humor was known
and appreciated all over the world. Frankl knew how to time the punch line of the
joke to make listeners laugh with a roar and leave the meeting holding their
stomach in laughter.
Here is one joke that Frankl told to friends and family on a joyous occasion:
“An old Jewish man who had immigrated to Berlin is walking in the park when a
bird overhead lets loose its droppings and they land right on the old man’s hat. He
takes off his hat, looks at it, and says: “For the gentiles, you sing” (Klingberg, 2001,
p. 242).
Humor enables one to emphasize a certain point that otherwise would get lost.
Frankl made good use of this in relation to all of the exaggerations that people
tend to use because of jealousy, hatred, prejudices, greed, stinginess, and
intolerance. Jokes have no limits. They can be used in professional work, too, in
medicine and in psychotherapy, as well as in attitudes to politics, nationalism, and
in many other areas of social behavior. Frankl used his sense of humor even in the
concentration camps, as discussed later in this chapter.
Recruiting one’s sense of humor can do miracles, beginning with the use of
humor against stuttering, insomnia, facial tics and twitches, uncontrollable
shaking, and even, in some cases, impotence. As an example, a man sent to Frankl
for help suffered from chronic pain in his hand that was diagnosed as writers’
cramp. This man had been an accountant for many years. The pains in his writing
hand became more and more bothersome until it became almost impossible to
read his handwriting. When Frankl heard this man’s story about his untenable
and sad situation, he advised him to approach his new job by saying the following:
“Now I will show my supervisor what a good scribbler I am. I will have such
120 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

terrible pain that nobody will be able to read what I write.” The first reaction of
this man to Frankl’s advice was to smile and nod his head in wonder. After a while
he agreed to try what Frankl has advised him to do. The result was amazing: the
pain disappeared in a few days and did not return, even after a long time during
which this man was in follow-up treatment (Bulka, 1989, p. 50).
There are several important differences in the attitude to humor, particularly
to jokes, between Freud and Frankl. Freud’s interest was motivated mainly by a
wish to understand the mechanism of the joke in terms of its physiological and
psychological characteristics. Frankl, on the other hand, wanted to understand
why the joke can serve as a roadblock to anxiety.
In Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning (1962), he emphasized that humor was
one of the most important means for survival. It served as a spiritual victory over
the persecutors and murderers. Humor protected the sanity of the prisoners and
turned their minds away, even if for a few minutes, from the inhuman conditions
in the camps. Derision and laughter helped, even in the hardest and cruelest
hours, to ease the suffering and torture of the prisoners.
Frankl wrote that he practically trained a friend who worked next to him on
the building site to develop a sense of humor. Frankl suggested to him that they
would promise each other to invent at least one amusing story daily, about some
incident that could happen one day after their liberation (p. 42).
Frankl realized those elements that make laughter such a valuable medicine in
the hands of a quick-witted and well-trained therapist: the surprises contained in
turning the same objects that the patient fears into tools to heal him; exaggerat-
ing the fear to the extent that it becomes laughable, while maintaining a serious
attitude; the willingness of the therapist to take an active part in the humorous
situation to bolster the patient’s self-confidence; and the enabling function, so that
the client discovers and realizes that fear can be controlled, even extinguished, by
the power of laughter.
Frankl’s discovery of the mechanism by which underlying anxiety can be
turned around and used for the treatment of neuroses is truly a testimony to his
creativity. As soon as the patient stops fighting his or her obsessions and tries
instead to ridicule them by irony and by applying paradoxical intention, the
vicious circle is cut, the symptom diminishes, and the obsession finally atrophies.
Confronting fear is the best medicine to overcome a phobia, Frankl declared.
He cited his own encounter with such a situation: On a mountain climbing
occasion that happened on a rainy day, Frankl witnessed the fall of one of the
climbers into a ravine some 200 yards below. The man miraculously survived. Two
weeks later Frankl climbed along the same steep path, and once again it happened
to be a rainy day. Yet, despite the psychological shock that he had experienced two
weeks earlier, he was able to overcome his fear and the mental trauma that he had
suffered.
Frankl (1985) stated that it is important to assess when to use logotherapy and
paradoxical intention and in which cases their use may bring about unwanted
results. For example, Peter (not his real name), a sixty-eight-year-old man, came
The Importance of Humor and Laughter in Old Age 121

to logotherapeutic treatment on the advice of his friend. The latter was a former
client and had known the therapist a long time. Peter was constantly in fear of
making mistakes in his work as an accountant in a large corporation. The sense of
fear had spread from the workplace to his home. He was particularly afraid of his
supervisor, who used to derogate, tease, and plot against him. Each time the
supervisor appeared, Peter was flooded with anxiety and dread of meeting that
man.
Peter had had an unhappy childhood. His father demanded that he excel in his
studies and in sports, and, when Peter could not deliver good results, his father
would despise him and say that he was no good and would never succeed in life.
It seems as if Peter had internalized the warnings of his father and became slow,
lacked self-assurance, and could not trust his intelligence to understand even
simple stories and facts. His mind was occupied with thoughts that tortured him,
especially with his father’s prophesies about the fate waiting for him. Even though
he had an aptitude for numbers and mathematics, Peter was not able to
concentrate on his work. The fear of making mistakes would paralyze him
sometimes for a long time, and his failure to cope with this fear only emphasized
the predictions of his father.
The treatment of his fears concentrated at first on strengthening his self-worth
and dignity as a human being and enhancing his self-image. There was a need to
change his attitude toward the prophecy of his father by concentrating on what he
had achieved so far in life despite that prophecy. This required repeated
discussions and simple exercises that helped him see that, in several important
areas of life, such as work and family life, he had not failed. Peter could find solace
by understanding that he knew how to help his children when they needed help.
Strengthening his sense of security in himself helped him relax. Now he began to
concentrate on the present and the future, rather than on reviewing the past. Also,
Peter was able to develop a change in attitude toward his supervisor by using
paradoxical intention. Learning this technique taught him to laugh at his fears
and to mock and ridicule them.
Lukas (1986a) maintains that the formulations that the patient learns to use
must be humorous enough to eliminate serious misgivings and to defuse the fear.
(The same technique is detailed on p. 108 in the Hebrew translation of this book
by Elisabeth Lukas [1988] Meaningful Living: A Logotherapy Book.) At first
patients practice these formulations with the therapist. Later, alone, they face the
feared situation. Lukas also said that what makes us smile and laugh cannot cause
horror.
At the first encounter with this technique, Lukas’s client failed to perceive the
humor behind the words of the therapist. His sense of humor was weak. Yet he
was determined to master the homework that he was given at each session until
his efforts were fruitful. As a result he gained greater faith in his ability to deal with
fearful situations at the workplace and at home.
Breaking the pattern of fear by an exaggerated wish for the very same thing that
is feared and replacing it with a healthy attitude to life may bring about a new
122 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

sense of self and well-being. The unique capacity of human beings to laugh at
themselves has been found to be of great importance for survival, in both the
clinical and the community sense. As Bulka (1989) stated: “By laughing at defeat,
we transcend it; by jesting in the midst of our predicament, we transcend it; by
smiling in the midst of depressing circumstances, we retain our individual and
group sanity” (p. 58).
 13

Dealing with Guilt

and Remorse

A seventy-eight-year-old businessman, whom we shall call Mr. Smith, was sick with
an incurable illness. He lay in his bed, day after day, and waited for his death. While
he waited, he had plenty of time to review his life. He remembered those years in
which he was the manager of a large chemical plant. He remembered the effort he
invested in the development of the plant that gave him much pleasure and satis-
faction. Yet, these could not stop his heart from aching. He became aware of the
price he paid for his success: His wife had to give up a career as a gifted teacher to
share the burden of managing the business with him, and his three sons gradually
became strangers to him.
Mr. Smith was musing to himself that he had lost the opportunity to really
know his children, for he had never had time for them. The business absorbed all
his energy and interest. Sometimes he had felt pangs from his conscience and
could sense that it demanded a change in his behavior, but he didn’t listen to these
warnings. Now lying on his deathbed, so close to his end, he thought that it was
too late to change. He fell into a mood of great dissatisfaction with himself. He felt
that he had failed as a father and as a husband.
The philosopher Eva Ancsel (1995), in Life as an Unknown Story, states that
one’s motivations may remain hidden to the extent that sometimes one cannot
differentiate between what is real and what is an illusion, between the true and the
false. Human beings, and only human beings, have a tendency for self-deception.
Animals, by nature, simply cannot do it. This tendency is expressed in wishful
thinking, and in harboring the thoughts we wish to believe, regardless of what is
true. A human being can cheat, and yet believe his or her actions are right and
honest. This self-deception is usually connected to the wish to gain something
without paying its price and without carrying responsibility for it.
People are not transparent. We cannot see through them and know what they
really feel, think, and imagine. Therefore we do not know whether or not they are

123
124 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

sincere with themselves and with the social worlds that encompass them. This lack
of transparency gives an individual his or her inner freedom. Only those who are
mentally sick wish to and are able to express their inner thoughts without control
and without consideration for other people’s feelings (Ancsel, p. 39). The lack of
transparency is a privilege, says Ancsel, even if it makes cheating possible, for there
are times when the cheating and misleading of others are necessary.
In The Devil in Moscow Bulgakov (1993) describes an imaginary discussion
between Jesus and Pilatus, the Roman Governor of Judea. When he sentences
Jesus to death for lack of respect for the Emperor Tiberius and for teaching
revolutionary and dangerous ideas, Pilatus is attracted in a strange way to the
human quality of Jesus. Pilatus experiences a feeling that what he should do, what
is right to do, what is meaningful in this situation is to release this man as one who
is not at all dangerous to the people. Pilatus understands that this is the meaning
of the moment, yet he listens to the high priest and sentences Jesus to death.
Immediately after the sentencing Pilatus’s conscience begins to nag him, yet he
disregards his inner feeling; he disregards what is just and true. Pilatus knows that
the accused is innocent, yet he acts contrary to his conscience. When Jesus is taken
to the place of execution and the sentence is carried out, Pilatus understands that
only death will end his pain and suffering. A heavy sadness falls on his soul and
pierces his heart. Pilatus has a vague feeling that he missed the opportunity to ask
Jesus an important question, and this feeling accompanies him for the rest of his
life. In his musings he knows that he has forfeited his responsibility to maintain
just relationships with all the citizens in his care, and therefore he will continue to
suffer throughout his life because of this failure.
This work is valuable to all therapists due to the insight it provides into the
heart and soul of a person. Many older people today can attest to the truth
contained in this literary work. The suffering caused by guilt can embitter the lives
of those who bear it, and extinguish the joy of life for them.
In the therapeutic work I did with many people who were in the latter half of
life, with elderly widows and widowers in particular, I found a phenomenon that
was present in almost every case. Each individual tried to explain his or her mental
distress by stating that he or she did not listen to the voice of his or her conscience,
and did not heed the meaning of the moment when it came. These individuals
were afraid to leave the path of social conformity. They did not allow themselves
to live their lives as they really wished. They renounced their own wishes in order
to please their families, relatives, and friends. Their social standing was more
important for them than their own peace of mind.
Giving permission to one’s self to behave in accordance with one’s unique way
of being authentic, to express one’s unique personality—without deviating from
the right path—is essential for mental and spiritual health for everybody, includ-
ing old people. It is imperative for therapists. This permission is the basis for good
therapy, while for the client it is an achievement. Giving permission to the client
to be unique and authentic is the first step in the client’s long journey to become
a really authentic individual. The following case is presented for illustration:
Dealing with Guilt and Remorse 125

A woman we will call Mrs. Cahn, aged sixty-nine, recently became a widow and
complained of headaches, dizziness, and a dull feeling of anxiety and depression.
These symptoms were familiar to her. During the forty-two years of her marriage
she had experienced similar feelings rather frequently, but she used to ignore them
as by-products of the tensions of modern living. When her husband died, she lost
interest in her grandchildren, and didn’t want to participate in social gatherings.
When her children insisted she be present, she would sit in a corner in complete
passivity, withdrawn, and told her family that life had lost interest for her.
At the repeated requests of her children, she agreed to see a therapist. In the
first session she said that she had been angry at herself for many years. “You see”,
she said to the therapist, “I know exactly when I started to have my headaches.
The first time it happened was two years after my marriage. At that time we lived
in a large city in which I had a good job and many friends, and I was liked by all.
I had a dream of being an actress at the local theater. But my husband urged me
to move to a smaller place where he could be near his friends. He also had
ambitions for a career in politics, and he thought that in that smaller city he
could succeed better and more easily than in a bigger one. I had my chances to
object to these ideas, but I didn’t use them. My heart told me to stay where I felt
good, but I gave in and agreed to move. Since then my life has lost its meaning:
Outwardly I remained the same and did what was expected of me, but inside I
felt frozen. Many times I have felt that I am doing things against my real wishes;
that I am sacrificing myself and my dream. I heard my heart telling me to
demand that my husband change this situation, but, instead, I escaped to these
headaches and depressions. I continued to ignore my real self, my inner self, and
see what has become of me.”

GUILT AND REMORSE

The sense of guilt constitutes a frequent subject in many works of literature,
philosophy, music, religion, and ethics. Guilt and atonement occupy a central role
in the courts, in lawmaking, and in the punishment of crimes committed against
society. Nevertheless, it is hard to define exactly what is meant by guilt, or wherein
its source lies.
According to religious teaching, the tendency to sin is an integral part of life. It
is based on human conscience and consciousness, for only human beings can sin.
Other creatures lack this ability. A human being who sins generally experiences
feelings of guilt. Each sin contains both physical and spiritual dimensions. These
indicate that the human being is a spiritual entity. Spiritual sins, if they dominate
an individual, are far worse than the physical ones.
The concept of guilt and guilt feeling are usually tied to a certain deed that is
perceived by society as bad. When an individual understands that he or she did
what was prohibited or bad, as in the Biblical story about eating from the Tree of
Life, or the killing of Abel by his brother Cain, then the person who committed
the crime feels guilty.
126 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

A human being always has a choice to act in the right way. Departure from that
way and doing a bad deed, whether by intention or by mistake, brings in its wake
a feeling of guilt. Yet whether we choose the right way, or ignore it and engage in
bad deeds, there is no way to escape the responsibility that accompanies the
choice. The one who chooses the wrong way is punished by a feeling of guilt
which is hard to bear. This feeling can be so intense that it can drive the sinner to
suicide, as in Tolstoy’s novel Anna Karenina.
John Lukacs (2001), the well-known historian and philosopher, differentiates
between sin and taboo. Sin as a phenomenon is dependent on social relationships.
It cannot be erased from one’s consciousness. When we sin, we know that we have
sinned, but do not necessarily feel guilty. Yet sooner or later the sin causes us to
feel sad and to regret what we did, and even feel responsible for our deeds. These
feelings are what we call guilt feelings. Taboo, on the other hand, is a strong social
prohibition against words, objects, actions, discussion, or people that are
considered undesirable or offensive by a group, culture, or society.
Sigmund Freud (1950), in his classic book on Totem and Taboo, traced the
origin of the taboo to the fear of the presence or return of the dead person’s ghost
among the savages. This fear leads them to various ceremonies aimed at keeping
the ghost at a distance. Freud also has shown that there are many similarities
between taboo-holders and obsessive neurotics that point to a psychological
condition that prevails in the unconscious. According to Freud, there are two
universal taboos, incest and patricide (Freud, pp. 26–30).
As in many other areas of human behavior, the subject of guilt and guilt feeling
must begin with the attitude of Freud toward these concepts, for he paved the way
to modern psychology and psychotherapy. Freud coined the term super-ego to
explain the concept of conscience. This psychological mechanism represented for
him the moral demands society makes of its members. It was perceived as a father
figure that commands individual behavior in accordance with the demands of
religion and society. According to Freud’s theory, disregard for the rules and
demands of society causes guilt feelings. His concept of the super-ego was based
on the mythological figure of Oedipus; guilt and guilt feelings derive from the
psychological complex associated with this figure in the well-known myth. The
Oedipus complex derives from an old story in ancient Greece about a king whose
fate was to kill his father and marry his mother. Oedipus tried to escape this cruel
fate, but could not. After he unwittingly committed these terrible crimes, he
punished himself with blindness. His mother objected to the investigation of her
son-husband and insisted that many men dream of sexual relations with their
mothers, yet there is no need to attach much importance to dreams. Freud (1994),
in Introduction to Psychoanalysis, said, “But we do not disdain the dreams, and
especially not typical dreams, those that happen to many people, and we do not
doubt that the dream Iokasta [Oedipus’s mother] mentions is connected in a
strong connection to the horrible content of this myth” (p. 270).
This severe super-ego dictates to the ego its standards of behavior, disregarding
the pressures that come from the id—the drives and instincts—and from the
Dealing with Guilt and Remorse 127

outside world, meaning society. If these standards are not heeded, then the super-
ego punishes the individual with a strong feeling of inferiority and guilt.
Not every leading psychologist in the Viennese schools of psychology agreed
with Freud’s attitude toward the task of the super-ego, nor with Freud’s division
of the human soul into three parts, in which only one part controls morality and
the deeds considered bad by society. Alfred Adler (1994) thought that man’s style
of living can be good or bad, but there is no need to connect it to guilt feeling. We
are born with an inability to solve all the problems life brings to us, Adler said, and
our task is to develop a socially responsible lifestyle, and to accept responsibility
for our failures.
Carl Gustav Jung refrained from speaking about guilt and guilt feeling. Jung
based his approach to the concept of guilt largely on the concept of the collective
subconscious that exists in the human soul—in which guilt is always connected
to the first sin of man and woman as described in the Bible. This sin is connected
to the oppression of the sexual drives of the id by the super-ego.
Today we have a different social attitude toward sexual urges and their
satisfaction, and toward guilt feelings. Yet the concept of guilt continues to serve
as a subject for much discussion and debate (Kalmar, 1997). Whereas in Freud’s
time, in the Victorian era, many people experienced guilt feelings due to giving
freedom and expression to their sexual urges that in those days were prohibited,
today the opposite is true; today the repression of those urges and drives are the
sources of the guilt feelings.

GUILT IN RELATION TO THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

The Fifth Commandment in the Old Testament teaches that one should honor
his or her father and mother. The sixth through tenth commandments deal
basically with what is prohibited in human behavior according to Jewish and uni-
versal ethics. The Fifth Commandment is the only commandment in the Bible
that has a reward for its fulfillment in the form of a long life upon this earth—
indicating perhaps the fact that honoring and caring for an old parent is a difficult
and complex matter. Caring has both physical and emotional aspects.
In caring for an elderly parent when he or she becomes ill, and especially when
the parent has to be placed in an institution, one seldom escapes feelings of guilt.
Such feelings are heightened when expectations either on the part of the parent or
the adult child cannot be met. Guilt may be experienced by the siblings of the
caretaker who do not involve themselves to the extent they could in caring for
their aged parents.
There are many stresses involved in parent-child relationships that produce
guilt feelings: Role reversal and feelings of dependency that may be rejected or
resisted by both parent and child; loss of roles, and strains associated with shared
households when the sharing is not done out of choice. The caretaker’s competing
claims of work and career, and the needs of his or her children, can be another
source for feelings of guilt for the adult child. Many women in their middle years
128 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

look forward to the joys of the empty nest, meaning the freedom from the
parenting functions and pursuit of individual goals and dreams—only to find
themselves burdened with new responsibilities in caring for their own parents.
Many such caretakers resent the fate that forces them to postpone, or to give up
completely, their dreams.
Professional literature in gerontology contains many studies that deal with the
relationships between elderly parents and their adult children in the industrialized
world (Olson, 1994). For example, Volkov (1992), in To Be Son to an Elderly
Parent: A Phase in the Family’s Life Cycle Crisis, presents many cases that illustrate
the crisis in the relationships between elderly parents and their adult children
within Israeli families. Her book describes situations in which there is no escape
from placing an elderly parent in a nursing home.
According to professional literature in gerontology, family members are not the
only ones who take care of old, frail, sick, and mentally deficient people. A system
of community services and institutions of all kinds provide service at various
levels of quality and quantity in accordance with the economic situation of the
elderly people and their families, both in private and in public and/or government
sectors.
It is a well known maxim that elderly people as a whole prefer to live in their
own homes, apartments, and neighborhoods as long as possible. The same applies
to their adult children who provide the bulk of services for their parents in the
parents’ home. They resist the temptation to transfer the old parent to a nursing
or an old age home as long as possible. They see in these institutions the last
resort, a most unwanted solution.
Many researchers in gerontology have found that the majority of elderly
parents are transferred to an institution only when the main caretaker becomes ill,
or has exhausted him- or herself. Even then, they see in this transfer one of the
saddest events they have experienced in their lives (Olson, 1994). For example:
A woman we shall call Mrs. Brown, aged eighty, suffered a sudden
deterioration in her health and could not remember when she had last taken her
medications against high blood pressure. Mrs. Brown was caught time and time
again leaving the gas open after she cooked something for herself. Sometimes
she was also found in a ditch near her home after she lost her balance and fell.
There were black and blue bruises on her body from bumping into the furniture
in her apartment. In addition, several times Mrs. Brown forgot the address of
her home and was seen searching helplessly for someone to tell her.
Mrs. Brown’s family did what they could to lengthen her stay at her apartment,
but they were not able to cope with her need for twenty-four-hour care and
supervision. This situation caused many ambivalent feelings for her children. On
the one hand, they saw the need to place Mrs. Brown in a nursing home where she
would get proper care; on the other hand, they were suffering from the emotional
conflict of choosing one of the two alternatives when both were seen as bad.
Volkov (1992) wrote that the daughter, usually the main caretaker, suffers more
than the other siblings, for she is torn between her personal and family’s needs
Dealing with Guilt and Remorse 129

and the needs of the parent. Volkov emphasized that the emotional support the
main caretaker needs is no less important than the concrete help the family
should get from a professional worker (p. 74).
In this catch-22 situation, it is impossible to escape feelings of guilt that
emanate from caring for an aged parent in need of institutional placement.
Parents may also have guilt feelings. These are expressed in declarations such as,
“I don’t want to be a burden for my children.” Many suffering and frustrated
parents cite the well-known proverb: “One parent can care for ten children—and
ten children can’t care for one parent.”
The professional literature in gerontology has passed over the guilt feelings of
the elderly parents toward their offspring and deals mainly with the opposite
situation described above. The non-professional literature, on the other hand,
describes many cases in which guilt feelings of old parents serve as motivation for
regret. An illustration of such a case is found in Tamaro’s (1997) book To Follow
Your Heart, in which the heroine, an elderly Italian woman who feels that her days
are coming to an end, writes a long letter to her granddaughter. This letter is a
confession and life review. When the woman confessed to her daughter that the
man whom the daughter thought of as her father was not her real father, the
daughter ran away in a car and was killed in an accident (p. 68). The woman raised
her granddaughter after her daughter died in this accident.
The old woman feels guilty for never telling her granddaughter how the
accident really happened. In the letter, she speaks about the hard life and suffering
she has experienced because she was a smart and curious child. In her youth, those
traits were not welcomed by society. The grandmother hopes that the losses she
has experienced in her long life will help the granddaughter to develop a healthy
approach to life. She gives her granddaughter the following advice: “When there
will be many paths before you and you will not know which to take, then don’t
choose one at random, or by chance, but sit down and wait . . . Sit in your place,
quietly, and listen to the voice of your heart. And when it will speak to you, get up
and go where it will lead you” (Tamaro, p. 65).
This old and intelligent woman is able to understand that it is impossible to run
away from guilt feeling, and it is impossible to accuse others. The grandmother
knows that one has to be brave to carry guilt and to accept responsibility for one’s
failings. She understands that the only way to cope with guilt is by continuing to
live, by moving forward, and by trying to prevent its recurrence. The old woman
wants to help her granddaughter not to repeat the mistakes she made in her youth.

LOGOTHERAPY’S ATTITUDE TOWARD GUILT

Logotherapy has invested much effort in trying to approach guilt from a
different and new angle. Frankl coined the term the tragic triangle, of which guilt is
one part. Suffering and death are the other two parts. Frankl maintained that to
find meaning in life, one has to cope successfully with each part of this triangle, for
each part contains opportunities for finding new or renewed meaning for living.
130 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Guilt occupies a central role in logotherapy. Frankl used to tell his own story,
detailed in this book in principle number eleven, to illustrate this concept. The
lesson learned from this dramatic and true story is this: If Frankl had chosen to
go to America, rather than staying with his elderly parents, he would most likely
have been punished by his conscience with guilt feelings for abandoning them to
their fates. In the long run, escaping one’s responsibility always leads to neurosis,
or to a life without meaning. Logotherapy characterizes such life as living in an
existential vacuum.
Frankl viewed guilt connected with suffering and death as a phenomenon that
everybody will encounter in his or her life. Yet, he did not attach the same value
to guilt as to the other two sides of the tragic triangle. He wished to emphasize
that meaning can be squeezed even from guilt, by turning it into an opportunity
to change and to make one into a better person. Existential guilt is embedded in
one’s soul, said Frankl (1982), and he cited the words of the philosopher Scheler,
who said that man has a right to be guilty and to be punished. “When we try to
nullify his guilt by seeing him as a victim of circumstances, we take away his
dignity as a human being. I tend to say, one of the privileges of man is to feel
guilty. But it is also true that his responsibility demands of him to overcome his
guilt” (Frankl, 1982, p. 58).
Logotherapy differentiates between real, neurotic, and noetic guilt. Real guilt
emanates from a real event, due to some act that was basically wrong. This is guilt
by commission. There is also a guilt which is felt for something that was supposed
to be done and was not. This is guilt by omission. For example, lack of attention to
the needs of an old and frail parent for security is guilt by omission. When the
parent falls and gets hurt, then the party who failed to act feels remorse and guilt.
Neurotic guilt is felt by someone who did not actually perform a wrong
deed—only wished for it to happen. The most dramatic illustration of neurotic
guilt was given by Shakespeare in his play Macbeth. The intention or wish to do
something bad has deep roots in the human soul. Lady Macbeth is very ambi-
tious to become Queen of Scotland. This ambition leads her to wish for the death
of Duncan, the king. Lady Macbeth manages to persuade her husband to commit
a horrible crime, killing King Duncan and blaming the servants for his death.
When the plot succeeds and Lady Macbeth becomes queen, she is assaulted by
strong pangs of her conscience. She develops insomnia, and obsessively washes
her hands to get rid of the blood she imagines to be on them—to no avail.
In a similar vein, when someone wishes in secret for the death of his or her
aged and sick parent, and when the parent suddenly dies from natural causes, then
the person who wished for the death begins to feel guilty for having killed the
parent. This feeling of guilt has no real basis, yet the person cannot get rid of it.
Often this person spends the rest of his or her life tormented by thoughts that he
or she caused the tragedy.
Noetic, or existential and spiritual guilt, is different from the other two. We feel
its influence in behavioral disturbances expressed in confusion, discomfort, and
dissatisfaction with self, as if something is not in order and needs to be corrected.
Dealing with Guilt and Remorse 131

Preoccupation with disturbing thoughts continues to nag the afflicted until he or

she is forced to do something to get rid of this feeling. At times, however, the
sufferer prefers to repress or to ignore the urging of this feeling for action, and
develops neurotic guilt or depression. In its most severe form, lack of response to
the demands of life can bring the sufferer to lose interest in life, to become cynical,
or to fall victim to uncontrolled anger and hatred. However, when one recognizes
the reason for the guilt feeling, when one acts against it, when one fulfills one’s
responsibility and invests the mental energy in the action, then one gains mental
tranquility and satisfaction, as well as a feeling of freedom and well-being
(Sternig, 1984, p. 47).
What is existential guilt, and how can one cope with it according to
logotherapy? Frankl (1962) coined the term existential frustration and has defined
it as a situation in which one’s search for meaning is frustrated or blocked. Sternig
(1984) has stated that existential guilt is so different from real guilt and neurotic
guilt that it would have been better not to call it guilt at all. This guilt is not
something that can be looked at from judicial or religious perspectives. It is a kind
of feeling that something is not in order, without really knowing how to define
what that something is. Yet this something requires attention (p. 47). Frankl and
Sternig claim that we must learn how to respond to the demands of life to the best
of our ability, for our welfare and well-being are dependent on it. Our happiness
is tied to the responsibility we take toward the demands of life. Who does not
respond to these demands will pay a price—the torments of conscience.
Overcoming feelings of guilt is necessary in cases of real and neurotic guilt, says
Frankl (1962). As for existential guilt, Sternig (1984) thinks that we can relate to
it differently, for it works in our souls for a certain purpose or goal. Therefore we
do not have to overcome it, but to learn how to live with it.
Lukas (1986b) referred to the concept of guilt in two ways: as justified or not
justified, and has claimed that the two should be separated. We must ensure that
guilt is anchored in reality and is not some imagined matter, as in neurotic guilt. In
cases where guilt feelings stem from mistakes—justified guilt—therapy must
include an explanation of the mistake. The therapist should turn the client’s
awareness to his or her unwillingness, or lack of free will, to take responsibility for
the results of the action. When the feeling of guilt is unjustified, as in an illness, the
therapist could help the client to get rid of the feeling by turning it into something
ridiculous, or by ignoring it altogether. The following case illustrates this attitude.
An eighty-five-year-old man we shall call Jacob, a retired professor from a well-
known university, was lying on his deathbed, suffering greatly from an incurable
disease that attacked him in the last two years of his life. As he was lying in the bed
unable to read or to watch television, he had plenty time to think about his family,
the successes and failures of his children and wife, and about his relationships
with them. Jacob had three grown sons. Two of them followed in their father’s
footsteps and became respected in the academic world. The third son did not
want to do likewise. He said that he was free to make his own decisions about his
life, and to spite his father, he became a mechanic, an occupation that his father
132 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

considered beneath the family’s dignity. This choice angered and saddened Jacob.
There were many loud debates and quarrels between them every time the son
visited his parents’ home, until one day Jacob, who in the meantime had become
ill, told his son that he would disinherit him. From that day on the son would not
come to see his father.
When Jacob was nearing his death, he was tormented by his rashness and by
the manner in which he told his son about the decision to disinherit him. Jacob
consulted with the therapist how to restore the relationship with his son. The
therapist suggested that Jacob express true and full regret and correct his will.
Jacob, however, did not have the courage to do as advised. Nor did he do what
could have eased his torment and give justice to his son. Jacob died shortly
afterward with a heavy feeling of guilt.
 14

Coping with Loneliness

A great spirit has an opportunity for development even in a lonely life. (Seneca,
1997, On Mental Calmness, p. 20)

Although the Bible says “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), more
and more elderly people live alone and suffer from loneliness. Community
leaders, policy makers, gerontologists, and demographers consider loneliness—
which will grow as technology advances—a major problem in aging. Surprisingly,
however, this subject is among the least discussed in professional literature.

LONELINESS AMONG THE PRE-ELDERLY

Miriam, age fifty-two, is a social worker and mother of three children, ages
fourteen to twenty-three. I met her in a conference on welfare and well-being of
the aged. Three years ago she found herself without her husband, who simply dis-
appeared leaving their youngest son with her. The other children were grown-ups,
and they had already left home. One son was serving in the Army, and the other
was studying in a faraway college. Miriam said,

At first I was completely stunned and didn’t know what to do. Until this happened
to me I thought that our lives were in order. I simply could not imagine that my
husband would be unhappy with me. He didn’t give any sign about his dissatisfac-
tion. I’ve learned about it later, after he left home. My husband was a psychiatrist in
a private office. There was a young secretary, and he fell in love with her. When he
disappeared I finally understood what had happened, a rather banal case. I didn’t
expect such a thing from a professional supposed to control his feelings. Later we
quarreled about our joint resources and the divorce, and these left me exhausted and
hurt. At the end of all this I was left alone. I was fortunate to have sufficient resources
for a decent living in economical terms, so that I could devote time for studies. I

133
134 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

became a social worker to help other women in similar situations. This gives me
strength to live as a divorcée. But I feel that I have no chance for a new beginning.
There are no eligible men around me, and those who could qualify are “taken”
already. I will have to succumb to a life of loneliness.

Miriam’s situation is similar to that of many housewives in their midlife and

beyond, even when they remain married. The children have grown up and left
home, and the husband is busy with work. Thus they find themselves alone in the
house. The movie Shirley Valentine depicts such a woman, who in her solitude
speaks to the wall in her apartment. When her husband comes home, he grabs
the newspaper and a bottle of beer, sits at the table without saying a word, and
waits for his dinner. But one day this woman revolts against him and leaves for
Greece, where she slowly begins to build a new life. After learning the hardships
of managing a home, the abandoned husband renounces his masculine pride,
travels to Greece, and hopes to earn forgiveness. Now he is ready for a new life
with his wife based on mutual respect.
The philosopher Schopenhauer spent most of his life in solitude, and he
emphasized that we must learn early to cope with solitude and loneliness so that
we are prepared when these come later in life. The ability to deal with loneliness
may help us find solace, and people in midlife and beyond should be ready to
accept that aging makes us lose people close to us, family members and friends.
People must learn to trust and to believe in themselves and in their abilities. It
is important to arrive at old age aware of our strengths and weaknesses. We must
trust this strength and use it in accordance with the opportunities available in the
social environment. We must be aware that it is possible to develop mental and
spiritual strength in the second half of life, as in the first one, especially those
powers that were hidden until now.
This idea was eloquently expressed by the psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung in
his Memories, Dreams and Thoughts (1997). Looking back, Jung tells the reader
that his loneliness started early in life as a result of knowing things that people in
general refused to hear about, such as his dreams and his interpretations of them.
Jung said that one who knows more than others is prone to become lonely. His
loneliness was not related to opposition to the collective. Rather, it resulted from
his uniqueness and his refusal to become part of the herd.
“The older I became,” Jung said, “the less I was able to understand myself, the less
I recognized myself; I am disappointed in myself, and I am happy with myself. I am
sad, and I am enthusiastic. All these are me. I can’t summarize myself” (Jung, p. 451).
Jung (1998) stresses that as we advance toward the second half of life, and the
better our social and economical standing become, the more we tend to conserve.
We tend to hold on to what has been gained so far, as if it will stay forever, and as if
there is no need for changes. Alas, human beings forget that refraining from change
means diminishment of the personality, because many aspects of life are neglected.
Jung tells the story of a Native American chief and warrior who in his second
half of life saw a great spirit in his dream. This spirit told him that from that
Coping with Loneliness 135

moment on he must wear women’s clothes, sit among the children and the women
in the tent, and eat with them. The chief fulfilled the command of the great spirit
without losing his honor and social standing. This story is intended to teach us
about the changes in us that may happen in the second half of our lives—if we are
open to face them. Sometimes these changes include preparation and readiness
for a life of solitude (Jung, 1998, pp. 452–455).
There are many elderly and young people who did not learn to deal with
loneliness because they always ran away from it. They forget that it is impossible
to learn something when one runs away. Loneliness may be seen by many people
in the second half of life as emptiness. This is why parents call their homes empty
nests after their grown-up children leave.
Many people are afraid of looking at themselves, concentrating on and
listening to their hearts’ desires, and hearing the voice of their conscience. They
refuse to get over the barrier of fear that prevents them from accepting loneliness
in a positive way. They imagine that loneliness means not only emptiness, but also
lack of experiences. They need to learn not to be afraid of loss—even if it is
sudden, hard, and unexpected—and not to sink into self-pity. Children leaving
home or the dissolution of a marriage may contain new opportunities for self-
fulfillment—even when such opportunities involve a lot of effort.

LONELINESS AMONG THE ELDERLY

Loneliness may be defined as lack of company; remoteness from human habi-
tation; seclusion from others; a state of dejection or grief caused by the condition
of being alone; or a deliberately selected state of solitude (Webster’s Dictionary,
1986). Loneliness—which is closely related to loss or its opposite, failure to gain
significant human relationships—is tied to stages of development during the life
course (Rubinstein, 1986).
In discussions of loneliness we have to differentiate between voluntary
loneliness and forced loneliness. The former refers to individuals who find sol-
ace in solitude and/or to those for whom loneliness is a long-standing way of life.
These individuals usually don’t constitute a social problem, whereas the latter do.
The following case refers to voluntary loneliness.
Judy (fictitious name) was forty years old when her husband was taken to
forced labor in the last year of World War II. She miraculously survived the war,
and when it was over, she immediately started looking for her husband, whose
whereabouts became unknown in the fall of 1944. Alas, all her efforts were in vain.
Judy turned to various organizations (including the International Red Cross),
institutions, and associations representing prisoners of war, but none could
provide her with reliable information. After many years of waiting and hoping,
she was officially recognized as a widow by the religious court. Despite her new
status, she continued to wait for her husband and did not marry again. Judy
would not heed the advice of her grown-up children to begin a new life. Loyalty
136 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

to her husband was more important than anything in life, and she preferred to
remain a widow, waiting and hoping for a miracle.
This is a case of voluntary loneliness based on cultural, religious, and
traditional values, the result of a conservative education handed down from one
generation to the next, mainly within Eastern European Jewish religious circles.
Loneliness may be felt more or less intensely. It may lurk as a nagging reminder
of the state a person wishes to forget or deny. The elderly have a rather stereotyped
image of being lonely. This image was highlighted by the findings of the Harris
Poll in a national survey completed in 1975: Although only twelve percent of the
aged in this study thought loneliness was a very serious problem for them
personally, sixty percent considered the phenomenon to be very serious for most
elderly people.
In the most recent study conducted by the National Council on Aging, called
“The Myth and Reality of Aging in America” (March 2000), the percentages were
similar to those in 1975. Furthermore, loneliness among the young aged eighteen
to twenty-four was found to be more pronounced than among the elderly. Never-
theless, loneliness is a serious problem in old age among the noninstitutionalized
elderly living in the community.

THE MANY FACES OF LONELINESS

There are many types of loneliness connected to various degrees of feeling
alone and estranged from the world. The first one refers to loneliness in the
physical sense, which is a feeling of being alone and far away from other people
in the vast expanse of the universe. This type of loneliness is usually psychologi-
cally harmless for most people.
The second type of loneliness is a feeling of being rejected by other people. This
is more pronounced than the former among old people because they are very sen-
sitive to interactions with the younger generation. When the feedback they receive
is one of rejection and when this rejection causes too great a suffering, they may
react by sinking into mental disturbance, depression, and more loneliness.
The third type of loneliness is connected to feelings of being left behind.
Many elderly people feel that they are not well equipped to compete with the
younger generations in conquering the marvels of technology; that they don’t
have the “right personality” to understand the special language used in technol-
ogy; or that they can’t communicate easily in this new world. Others may feel
rejection because of their personal characteristics—such as race, color, values, and
lifestyles—and experience loneliness and despair.
Gibson (2000) discusses two additional types of loneliness: trait and state.
The first one refers to an individual’s basic personality. Some people are lonely
all their lives irrespective of their living conditions and social environment. The
second can happen to any person experiencing a temporary period of being cut
off from regular social interactions. Such is the case with people who are
temporarily unemployed, sick, or injured in accidents. This type of loneliness
Coping with Loneliness 137

usually disappears when people return to their normal functioning. In general,

human beings are more vulnerable to ill health in their later years. They are also
more prone to loneliness due to loss of family members and close friends than
are younger people.
Baziz (1997) perceives loneliness as a separate psychological situation that
stands alone among other psychological situations even in the midst of such
feelings as enthusiasm, joy, and elation, which are usually shared with someone or
with many people. Loneliness in old age is seen by Baziz as a situation that causes
great anxiety and sadness for the individual involved in that situation. The
strength and quality of this feeling change from one individual to the next,
depending on the life experiences he or she has had. For the lonely elderly,
memories of times past—if they were good—only strengthen the suffering
caused by loneliness because they bring with them sad reflections on the present
situation. The following case illustrates such a situation.
Suzy (fictitious name) was seventy years old when she lost her husband, who
had been gravely ill with an incurable disease for more than six months. Because
Suzy did not believe she was going to lose her husband, she did not prepare herself
to become a widow and thus to be alone. At first, she said, loneliness was not a
problem. There were so many things to do and to take care of that she would come
home exhausted, which prevented her from feeling lonely. Her children and friends
helped her forget what had happened prior to her husband’s death. But this period
came to an end rather soon, and she found herself more and more alone, as the
sense of loneliness began to creep more and more into her consciousness.
Sometimes Suzy felt happy about her newly found freedom; sometimes she
had a feeling that she could take on the whole world; sometimes she thought that
she could respond well to the demands of life; sometimes she sank back to old
habits of dependence on her husband in making decisions about important
things, but the husband was not around; sometimes she found herself enclosed in
her loneliness like a pearl in an oyster, shying away from people and the world,
mourning the death of her husband and her fate. These feelings came over her like
the waves of the sea and flooded her with sadness, raising unknown anxieties.
Then she would weep and cry a lot because she lost her former way of life.

LONELINESS IN THE LITERATURE ON AGING

Cohen (2003) discusses loneliness—with its varied manifestations in
literature, art, and poetry—and its influence on the human psyche from many
perspectives in a series of articles. These works are based on his own struggle with
loneliness and on his scientific approach to the subject.
Cohen conducted a series of interviews with 376 subjects representative of the
adult population in Israel in terms of various age groups, gender, social
backgrounds, and life experiences. One of the shortcomings of theoretical and
empirical approaches to the study of loneliness, Cohen concluded, is their
inability to encompass the experience of loneliness with its myriad expressions
138 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

and the whole gamut of feelings connected to it, as well as the many coping
mechanisms that people use.
Cohen thinks that the best and most meaningful attitude to loneliness is found
in literary creations, poetry, and short stories. These are relevant for therapeutic
work with the elderly who suffer from loneliness. In his books on this subject,
Cohen brings many personal stories that enliven and illustrate not only subjective
feelings about loneliness, but also its existential manifestation and its influence on
the mental health of the individual experiencing it.
As mentioned before, results of the survey conducted by the National Council
On Aging indicate that the old are by and large less lonely than the young. One
can live alone without being lonely. Most elderly people live their lives along with
others, both old and young, and continue to be involved in social affairs. However,
this finding cannot repeal the persistent myth about the loneliness of most old
people. Another myth equally popular among many older people suggests that in
former times the aged lived in harmony with their families and kin, enjoying
much honor, dignity, and reverence, and not suffering from loneliness. Alas,
reality is quite different. In all historical times the aged experienced abandonment
and, consequently, loneliness to greater or lesser degrees.
The literature on loneliness is enormous. Some of the best-known literary and
philosophical works focus on loneliness. Among these are Defoe’s Robinson
Crusoe, Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels, and Shakespeare’s As You Like It. Many great writ-
ers have written about their own solitude. Søren Kierkegaard’s The Mortal Illness
(1993) and Arthur Schopenhauer’s Life Wisdom (2001) discuss loneliness from a
philosophical perspective.
Loneliness in later life was described by Dickens (1974) as being connected to
some moral fault. One of the famous characters in Dickens’s Oliver Twist is Fagin,
an avaricious man who recruits street boys and teaches them how to steal. Dickens’s
contempt toward Fagin is revealed in his description of that character: “[Fagin] was
a very old shriveled Jew, whose villainous-looking and repulsive face was obscured
by a quantity of matted red hair” (p. 50).
Fagin is not the only Dickensian character depicted as a horrible old person.
Lonely old people in Dickens’s books are often ugly, vicious, repulsive, deformed
in body and spirit, and evil. The few exceptions to this rule are old people whose
ages aren’t noticeable through their physical appearance and who consequently
are free of the faults of old age.
It seems that Dickens was not only an ageist but an anti-Semite as well. Gibson
(2000) writes, “The writings of Dickens with their popularity and unforgettable
characterization have undoubtedly been one of the factors that have helped to
maintain this negative stereotype” (p. 78).
Another great novelist who made a remarkable contribution to the literature
on loneliness is Joseph Conrad (1857–1924). In his novels and short stories this
famous writer concentrated on loneliness as a grim phenomenon in an
individual’s life. Conrad did not find any dignity in solitude, which he viewed as
unpleasant loneliness and a product of some moral weakness and guilt. In
Coping with Loneliness 139

Conrad’s novels each man is alone, a stranger to himself, and fully aware of his
isolation from his fellow human beings.
A moving literary description of loneliness was presented by the great
twentieth-century philosopher Bertrand Russell in his Autobiography (1967).
Russell (1872–1970), recipient of the 1950 Nobel Prize in Literature, spent
eighty years in loneliness and unhappiness, longing for love and knowledge, and
struggling with his “unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind”—until he
married once again and lived happily another eighteen years (p. 13).
The lesson learned from all these literary works is rather simple: successful aging
requires courage and stoic acceptance of the vicissitudes of life, including loneliness.

JEWISH PERSPECTIVE ON LONELINESS

Jewish traditional sources have not paid substantial attention to the subject of
loneliness in old age. Neither the Jewish (1907) nor the Talmudic (1978) Encyclo-
pedias discuss this topic. This omission leads to two assumptions or possibilities:
(1) loneliness in old age was not a major problem before the beginning of the
industrial era or (2) loneliness was always a problem, but the issue was subsumed
under more pressing matters, such as religious and ethical behavior, and family
and community affairs.
In Biblical and Talmudic times the aged controlled the family’s fortune. They
were considered wise and experienced, and their longevity was seen as a blessing
rather than a curse. Emphasis used to be placed on marriage and on family life to
avoid a state of loneliness among the aged. Old Jewish tradition saw marriage as
necessary for men. In the Babylonian Talmud (Yebamot 62:72 and 63:71), the
Sages said: “It is not good for a man to be without a wife, for a man without a wife
is like a person without joy, without blessing, without a wall (the woman is like a
wall which guards someone against sin), without peace, and in fact such a man is
like a nobody” ( Solomon et al., 1989).
The second assumption is that old age was always a problem and all societies
struggled with it according to their values and ethics. The loneliness of the very
old was echoed throughout the ages in the book of Psalms. Here we find the cry
of all lonely elderly: “Do not forsake me in my old age, when my strength fails”
(Psalms 71:9; 71:18).
According to the Talmudic Encyclopedia (1978), “the transition from the
position of the powerful elder to an aged pauper, requiring special assistance
outside the frame of the family, is an outcome of the heritage of Judaic-Muslim-
Christian civilization” (p. 346).

LONELINESS IN SPECIAL GROUPS OF ELDERLY PEOPLE

Loneliness can exist in social settings that were created precisely to provide
their members with security, companionship, and social involvement. Take for
example the kibbutzim (collective settlements), in which about two percent of the
140 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Israeli population live. Since its beginnings in 1910, the kibbutz movement has
romanticized community living as well as the idea of sharing resources and work.
And one of its goals was the creation of opportunities to attain a meaningful
existence in a society in which they are masters of their own fates and destinies.
Those living in kibbutzim have higher longevity than the other Israelis.
According to various researchers who specialize in studies about living in
kibbutzim, higher longevity is associated with life in the kibbutz. Opportunities
for lifelong employment, rotation in jobs, higher levels of education, intensive
cultural life, and comfortable living conditions all increase one’s life span.
Today the problem of loneliness among the elderly has taken on frightening
proportions. It is no secret that the kibbutz movement is in serious trouble. It has
become an aging society undergoing rapid changes in its composition, purpose,
economic activities, and attitudes to the aged. Privatization is now widespread in
all Israeli kibbutzim, and in many of them such privatization has resulted in the
break-up of families, loss of values, and a different outlook on life.
Aged members who are seventy-five years old or older constitute almost three-
fifths of the population in the more established kibbutzim, whereas the average
proportion of those who are sixty-five years or older is fifteen percent. A heavy
sense of loneliness is felt particularly among the old widows and widowers who
find themselves alone after tens of years of married life in the kibbutz. This feel-
ing is intensified especially in the evening, when the elderly are usually alone in
their rooms, and during holidays such as Passover and New Year’s.
Many elderly widows say that they feel lost and unhappy. One of them said, “It
is true that we have a social club for the members where we can listen to lectures.
We can join therapy groups in the nearby city, go on sightseeing tours, and engage
in many other activities; but when darkness falls, everybody is closeted in his or
her room, and then we feel the full burden of loneliness. Sometimes I want to cry
out aloud my sadness and unhappiness.” The following case illustrates this
situation.
Sarah (fictitious name), age seventy-two, has recently become a widow. She has
lived in an older kibbutz for over fifty years. Sarah has a relatively large family in
the kibbutz, and she is regarded as one of the more fortunate members because
she has children and grandchildren living in the same place as she does. In the kib-
butz, many of the widows without a family are envious of her.
Sarah is aware of her fortune. “You see,” she told her group worker, “it is true
that objectively speaking I am in a better situation compared to many other
widows in the kibbutz, but they don’t know how much I suffer from loneliness.
When I come home after a visit with my children and grandchildren the walls close
and suffocate me, and I want to scream! And when I sit to eat my meals alone,
without having a soul with whom to share, I feel so sad. It is hard to describe. The
monotony of each day resembles another, like two drops of water. This simply
makes me mad. Sometimes I invite a stranger, one with whom I never had any
social relationships in the kibbutz, to share a meal with me just to escape being
alone.”
Coping with Loneliness 141

Although the loneliness Sarah is experiencing is well known from many

studies, not every widow sinks to the depths of despair, and not every widow looks
upon her widowhood as a disaster. Yet, despite the efforts of many kibbutzim to
take care of their older and frail members, loneliness among them is inevitable.
At kibbutzim, or outside in the villages and cities, physical needs can be met
more or less satisfactorily. This is not the case with emotional needs. You cannot
force people to express kindness, to treat others with consideration, and to care
for the lonely even in the kibbutz. Many old-timers confess that loneliness is
much more prevalent and harder inside the kibbutz than outside it. Many
elderly members lack mobility and have no children living there to turn to.
Privatization carries a heavy price especially for the elderly members in the
kibbutzim lacking support from their families. It is well known that over fifty
percent of the children born in the kibbutzim leave their homes after their mil-
itary service and a large number of them live outside the country thus leaving
the elderly parents behind.

PROGRAMS FOR ALLEVIATION OF LONELINESS IN OLD AGE

Many industrialized countries have programs to ease the loneliness of the
elderly. The goal of these programs is to include the elderly in voluntary activities
that will allow them to develop new social relationships with other people, old
and young alike. Such interactions create new opportunities for the elderly to
find meaningful connections to the outside world.
Social clubs and day centers for the aged are places where new friendships can
be created and maintained, new skills acquired, new activities enjoyed, and many
services provided. These and other social institutions offer opportunities for the
elderly to engage in voluntary activities with their peers.
One of many innovative programs for the alleviation of loneliness in old age
has recently been implemented in Jerusalem, Israel. A housing project was built in
which the ground floors were designated for lonely elderly residents, whereas the
top floors were rented out to young couples with children, thus creating
opportunities for frequent contact between the generations.
Another successful program for the same purpose is called A Grandparent for
the Kindergarten. Elderly and usually lonely people “adopt” a kindergarten in their
neighborhood, where they do volunteer work such as helping with various chores,
supervising the children, and acting as surrogate grandparents to children with
special needs.
Religious institutions—such as the Church or the Synagogue—brotherhoods
and sisterhoods, religious schools and colleges are other important sources for
alleviating loneliness in old age. Many studies on the impact of religion on life
reveal a significant correlation between life satisfaction and religious activity. In
Israel, for example, orthodox Jews adjust better to aging than the nonorthodox
because of the formers’ strong belief and faith in God, which helps them to
overcome grief, loneliness, and despair.
142 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

LOGOTHERAPY’S PERSPECTIVE ON LONELINESS IN OLD AGE

Despite the many innovative programs currently in use in the world to help
older lonely people cope with the sorrows in their lives, there is still a need to
create new and positive attitudes and approaches to this malady. Logotherapy is
particularly well suited for this role.
Frankl characterized our times as lacking meaning. Today more and more
people feel that they live in a world that lacks sense. This world was foreseen by
Freud, who in Civilization and Its Discontents (2002) said, “The life imposed on us
is too hard for us to bear; it brings too much pain, too many disappointments; too
many insoluble problems” (p. 13).
Freud also said that to endure life we must take palliative measures. These he
listed as “powerful distractions which cause us to make light of our misery;
substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it; and intoxicants, which anesthetize us
to it” (Freud, p. 13).
Loneliness in old age was not directly addressed by Frankl in his final work,
Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning (1997a). Instead, Frankl addressed the
problem of “lack of meaning in life.” Lack of meaning in life in logotherapy means
living in an existential vacuum, without a sense of direction and a clear goal that
one intends to accomplish. This situation in its severest form may become an
emotional disturbance or neurosis.
Logotherapy emphasizes a different approach to the troubles of human beings.
The purpose of this approach is to elevate man to a higher level of existence.
Logotherapy intends to help elderly people living lonely and forlorn lives to attain
a dignified old age.
Logotherapy is aware of the suffering of many people, and especially of the
suffering of former prisoners in concentration and prisoner-of-war camps, the men-
tally sick, and those who suffer from various ailments. Many of these people were not
as fortunate as Frankl in living a long and fruitful life within a loving and caring fam-
ily, surrounded by many friends, and enjoying the adoration and gratitude of
millions all over the world. But Frankl didn’t forget the lesson learned in the German
concentration camps in which he spent three and a half years. He said, “[W]henever
one is confronted with an inescapable, unavoidable situation, just then one is given a
last chance to actualize the highest value, to fulfill the deepest meaning, the meaning
of suffering. What matters above all is the attitude we take toward suffering” (Frankl,
1962, p. 112).
Gibson (2000) refers to cases of individuals who toward the end of their lives
experience a sudden loss of faith in the values by which they have always lived. He
calls this loss of faith “existential loneliness.” For example, many older members of
Israeli kibbutzim experience “existential loneliness” because of loss of lifelong
ideals and values. This loss may come suddenly or develop slowly over the years.
Some writers associate this loss with religion, and they claim that it is basically a
thirst for God.
Gibson (2000) cites the theologian Ronald Rolheiser, who characterized this
loneliness as “one that is not caused directly by our alienation from others, but
Coping with Loneliness 143

from the very way our heart is built, from our structure as human beings” (p. 18).
When such feeling of loss pervades the human soul, it can result in the feeling that
one’s life was wasted, and this may contribute to a strong feeling of loneliness.
Loneliness does not need to be like this. An older person does not need to see
his or her loneliness as immutable fate. On the contrary, one must remind him-
or herself of the original words Frankl used in his famous book Man’s Search for
Meaning (1962): “Despite everything else say yes to life!” The word “despite” is the
key to changing the situation.
Logotherapy maintains that a human being is a choosing creature, that is, a
creature that chooses the attitude toward what happens to him or to her. And
there is no situation, however difficult, that doesn’t offer more than one choice.
One does not need to accept without revolt or protest what life and fate throw in
one’s path, but one can always take a stand.
Research in gerontology has shown that aged people close to death, who made
special efforts to “survive until Christmas,” or “until the wedding of my
granddaughter” did in fact survive (Olson, 1994).
Coping with loneliness, as with any other situation in life, is dependent on
one’s resources. Coping with loneliness is not different from coping with other
emotions in life. The greater the resources available to human beings, both
internal and external, the more human beings are able to diminish the effects of
the harms and losses that befall them, for the resources act as a shield against the
tension and stress that accompany the losses.
Coping requires a change in attitude to what happens to the person. Changing
a person’s attitude from preoccupation with his or her misery and loneliness to
one of service to the less fortunate as well as redirecting the mental energy to dis-
cover new meaning in life are imperatives in logotherapy’s attitude to loneliness.
Life is full of wonders, miracles, and surprises. We only need to open our eyes
to discover all that it entails. Each human being is given opportunities to find
something meaningful during the second half of life. Each human being is
blessed with the ability to love ideas, nature, as well as other human beings. Such
love may become a source of satisfaction even in loneliness. For example, in an
Israeli kibbutz there was once an old man who lived a life of solitude. His behav-
ior was eccentric too. He used to get up early in the morning to walk in the fields,
listen to the singing of the birds, and enjoy the fresh air and the beauty around
him. At the end of his walk, he would return to the settlement, and with his eyes
glued to the ground he would look for old and rusty nails around the various
workshops, garages, and factories. The ones he found he would take to his little
workshop. There he would straighten and hammer and keep them in boxes
marked according to their sizes. This habit was a never-ending source of jokes
and laughing matter for the young members of the kibbutz. They saw in him the
epitome of stinginess and strangeness characteristic of old people. Yet, these nails
helped a lot in the war of liberation, when the kibbutz came under siege and
there was a need to erect barricades. They literally saved the kibbutz from being
overrun. Then all the people in the kibbutz became aware of the contribution
144 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

this old man had made to the defense of the settlement with his nails. Those nails
in fact expressed his love for life in the kibbutz.
Many great philosophers found power and strength in loneliness, something
good and advisable for aging people. They chose loneliness not to escape reality
or to avoid the hatred of others. They were not secluded as monks in a monastery
and did not preach refraining from the pleasures of life. They saw in loneliness an
opportunity for spiritual enrichment, an opportunity for creating something that
can be created only in solitude.
Even an ordinary person—someone who is not a philosopher or a great scientist
such as Einstein—may aim at learning and creating something. One cannot expect
someone else—other than oneself—to free him or her from the oppressive feeling
of loneliness, if such a feeling persists. Our children can’t do such a miracle—even
if they would devote all their time and energy to that purpose. When we learn how
to deal honestly and earnestly with this feeling, we will be able to attain mental
tranquility.
The psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung (1993) wrote that if we shall walk in the
paths of the depth of our souls; if we shall discover what is hidden inside our
psyche and free it from all the hard layers that were erected on top of it during
many years of existence, we shall free the divine spark enclosed. That spark, when
freed, will ignite a flame that will illuminate the darkness. This way we will be able
to look at the face of loneliness bravely, without fear, as an integral part of life.
 15

A Logotherapeutic Perspective
on Death

In November 2004 I was invited to give a seminar in Mexico City on logotherapy to

a group of professionals that included teachers, physicians, psychologists, and social
workers. I arrived exactly on the Day of the Dead, which is an important date in that
country. The huge city was decorated with gay colors. At the National Museum,
there were exhibits celebrating death in all types of artwork. In the middle of the
main hall were huge statues adorned with mosaics in every imaginable color and
material, and the ceilings were decorated with skeletons made of wallpaper.
Plates and baskets full of fruits, crops, and foods, as well as jars containing
drinks for the dead were placed in front of the statues. Children were running
happily, playing games with the skeletons without any sign of fear, and adults
were singing songs for the deceased. Fine works of art hung among the
offerings. It seemed as if all Mexicans were eager to express their culture’s best
aspects. Outside the museum bands of mariachis played various instruments to
the happy crowds, and the streets were filled with joy and laughter. I was
fascinated by what I was seeing, and I thought to myself that the Mexican
attitude toward death was very different from that of the West, where there is
still denial of death and even avoidance of its mention.
Mexican people’s approach to death is perhaps the closest to the one dreamed
by the ancient philosophers. The great Roman philosopher Cicero (1909) said,
through his protagonist Cato the Elder, that an old man who is afraid of death is
a wretched creature. For what is there to fear? One will either stop suffering or
perhaps even be happy! And who can be so foolish to think that he or she will
surely be alive tomorrow, even if he or she is young?
Cicero wrote, “When death comes, then everything disappears. What remain are
the memories of your brave deeds. The best way to die is when your faculties are
still intact, your thoughts are clear, your senses function well, and suddenly comes
‘mother nature’ and liquidates by her own hand what she has built” (1909, p. 76).

145
146 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

The death of the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca could serve as a model for
all of us. When he was commanded by the Emperor Nero to put an end to his life,
Seneca sat calmly and stoically in his bathroom, took a knife, and cut the arteries
in his ankles. Then he waited patiently until life slowly left him and he died.
A healthy individual accepts death as something healthy, as part of nature and
life. Therefore, an old man who doesn’t learn, in the course of his life, to accept
death calmly, without complaint or fear, is indeed foolish. Cicero said that old
men and women must accept the fact that nature has its own way. All things in
accordance with nature are good, including death. The little time left to old people
should not be spent with greedy eagerness or abandoned without cause. “To dis-
regard death is a lesson which must be studied from our youth and up; for unless
that is learnt, no one can have a quiet mind” (Cicero, p. 73).

HOW TO ACCEPT DEATH?

There are four approaches or attitudes to death: The first is a stoic attitude
toward death. It means accepting it without illusions about life in another plane.
Such an attitude was exhibited by Sigmund Freud who detested death and kept his
scientific detachment until the end of his life.
The second approach to death is seeing it as something impossible to grasp,
something to which people return, continuing to exist in spirit, thanks to the good
name they made for themselves while living, which enables them to achieve
immortality.
The third approach is to relate to death as a friend that one is happy to greet,
and the fourth approach is to be cognizant and open about the end of life and to
talk about the meaning of life in the face of death.
We can change our attitude toward death in accordance with the circumstances
of our life and self-understanding. The four aforementioned attitudes on death
are based on philosophical perspectives on life gained in childhood, and they
accompany us throughout life. From the age of seventy and up, there is little
difference between men’s and women’s death rates. And it is no surprise that this
subject occupies a greater deal of time for people when they are old than it did
when they were younger. Nevertheless, old people are not constantly preoccupied
with death. In fact, they are more open to this subject than are the younger
generations. What really interests people in their midlife and beyond is not when
death will come, but how and where.
For most older people the fear of death includes three elements: sadness for
knowing they must leave the world; lack of security in life after death, and the
process of dying itself. Most people perceive this process as connected to lots of
suffering, pain, and feelings of helplessness. The last element, the process of dying,
occupies the thoughts of aging people. Woody Allen has said that he is not afraid
of dying, but he wouldn’t like to be there when it happens.
As we get older, we must consider that dying becomes more likely. Several
factors influence one’s longevity, some of which the individual can control—such
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 147

as smoking and drinking; one’s genetic inclinations and heredity, marital status
(better married than single), and lifestyle in terms of nutrition, engagement in
physical exercise and sport, and investment in spiritual matters.
There are three main causes of death for people in their sixties and up: illnesses
related to blood circulation; illnesses affecting breathing, and cancer. If it were
possible, all of us would like to die as Moses in the Old Testament. It is written
there that he was 120 years old when he died; his eyes were not dim, his strength
was not abated, and the “kiss of death” took him.
Even illnesses that quickly bring about death can be desired as a means for dying.
Everybody would like to die in such a way that all others left living would say that
he or she died in an instant. And even if pain is not the factor that makes death
fearful, most people see pain as something undesirable, and they are afraid of it.
There are other experiences connected to death—such as depression, depend-
ence on others, confusion, loss of dignity and mobility, difficulty in breathing,
constipation, and apathy—that make it so hard to bear even in thought.
Aged people everywhere would like to extend life as long as possible without
losses in physical and mental health, and to die without too much suffering or
pain. Older people prefer to die in their own homes and own beds, surrounded by
a loving and supportive family. But the chances for attaining this are not very
good. Only one-third of all elderly people have this wish fulfilled; the others die
in nursing homes and in hospitals. All human beings would like to die in
accordance with the etymological sense of the word euthanasia, which means good
death, that is, death with dignity and without suffering.
If aging were perceived by older people as a happy period in their lives, and if
there were satisfying living conditions for old people in general, then it would be
possible to approach death without fear and to perceive it as an opportunity to greet
the dead as we do when someone goes on a holiday, as if he left for a life of eternity
and thus there is no need to cry for him. Then there would be no need to think of
the dead as a loser in the game of life.
In an idealistic and utopian attitude toward life older people should have
waited for a time when death would be perceived as something positive, when
people could be happy for the departed as one who has fulfilled his mission in life
and who can now expect new adventures that we cannot even imagine. Such an
attitude to death was exhibited by the famous Hasidic Rabbi Simcha Bunam.
When he was lying on his deathbed and his wife was crying bitter tears, he said,
“Why are you crying? Don’t you know that my whole life was in order to learn
how to die?” (Buber, 1976, p. 31).

MIDLIFE AS A TURNING POINT

If we were to compare human life to the sun, then we would discover the
spectacle of the circle. In the morning the sun rises and gathers strength until
noon, when it reaches its greatest warmth. And then the crisis begins. From
here on, the sun doesn’t gather any more strength. From here on, it begins to
148 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

sink slowly until the end of the circle. The same thing happens with people. As
children and teenagers, their parents and teachers help them develop and
advance in life, until they reach the zenith of their careers in accordance with
their talents, perseverance, and a bit of luck. And in the second half of their
lives the task is to concentrate on easing the descent. Many young adults mis-
takenly think that life has value only during the ascent, when one is on the
move toward greater achievements.
The psychologist Carl Gustav Jung perceived the second half of life as no less
rich in terms of development than the first one. Human beings have natural and
cultural goals. A young man is busy with creating a family, looking for a job, and
securing his social standing. When this phase is over, then he begins to pursue
his cultural goal, which is to enrich the overall culture of human beings.
Unfortunately, he has no help from his parents or from others for achieving this
second goal.
One must engage in this process by his own effort. If in one’s childhood and
youth the fear of life was an obstacle for fulfilling the natural goal, in the second
half of life the obstacle is the fear of death. Yet, despite what has been said above,
there is help for the interested. This help is religion, but this is relevant to only
a small part of mankind, those we call believers. For these people the belief in
their religious values serves as preparation for old age, death, and life in the
world to come.
Many people live with a feeling that they have missed the boat, that they
have missed many opportunities; they thus start the second half of their lives
looking back, or even worse, standing paralyzed in one place, rather than
advancing with time.
The Hungarian poet George Faludy wrote a ballad about such a person.
Charley Null, Faludy’s protagonist, looks back at his life at the age of sixty and
decides that he must write down what he has done in those sixty years. But he
doesn’t know if he should begin with his youth, which now seems to him empty
of content, or with his adulthood, which went by without great experiences.
Charley remembers those years that were full of boring work and insignificant
events. Now he feels he’s aging, and he becomes angry at himself for having
missed all the opportunities to make his life meaningful. He wants to get back all
the dreams he had, all the passions he never fulfilled; he wants to know his real
self. He thus decides to put his reflections and thoughts on paper. He goes to a
store, buys 100 sheets of paper, and sits at his desk to write. The next day at noon,
when his daughter comes to visit him, she finds him dead, bent over his desk. A
hundred sheets of paper were neatly arranged, and at the top of the first one was
written My Life, and nothing else. No lines, no words; only the empty pages: these
were his life.
In the second half of life the goal should be to make the descent meaningful.
Death should be meaningful to man in the same way as birth is. And whoever is
not making the necessary preparations resembles a young man running away
from life as an adult.
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 149

In On the Paths of Our Depths (1993), Jung emphasizes that an aging person
must remember that his life will not reach new heights, for an irreversible inner
process narrows it (p. 17). Death indeed can be horrible; yet, it can also bring ease
and the means to another existence that we cannot fathom at this time.

DEATH AS A CONCEPT
In the second half of our lives, we become more and more aware of the finality
of life and of death, which is waiting for us all. We feel that the time left is decreas-
ing. This feeling varies from one individual to another, for each human being lives
and dies in his or her unique way. The literature dealing with the subject of death
shows that, in general, we can approach death from four perspectives: (1) as an
entrance into eternity; (2) as a phenomenon in accordance with the rules of
nature; (3) as an event to be accepted quietly; or (4) as a friend one greets happily,
for it comes when one is ready, and it helps one depart with a feeling that one has
done his or her share and lived a meaningful life. Therefore, one is not afraid of
death. One perceives dying as a task to be fulfilled decently.

DEATH ACCORDING TO GREAT WRITERS AND SPIRITUAL LEADERS

The Russian writer Lev Tolstoy had a unique approach to death. In his well-
known book The Death of Ivan Illich (1992), Tolstoy’s belief that a man’s attitude
can change and make life meaningful when he faces death is made clear. In this
novel, whose hero is a clerk in governmental service, insight and death are
intertwined. When the hero becomes ill, he realizes the meaninglessness of the life
he has had prior to his illness. Now that he is on his deathbed and in relentless
pain, he has time to ponder over his life. Tolstoy characterizes this man’s life in the
following way: “The life of Ivan Illich was simple, ordinary and horrible . . . He
knew that he was dying. In the depth of his heart he knew that he was dying, but
he wasn’t used to the thought. He simply didn’t understand and wasn’t able to
grasp that it is possible” (Tolstoy, p. 225).
The dying man suffers without respite; he remembers happiness and love, and
his pain disappears as soon as he stops clinging to life. Suffering brings insight
into his life: he makes peace with his family and with himself.
Ivan Illich develops spiritually beyond what was expected of him by his soci-
ety and becomes a man of inner greatness. This greatness makes the last days of
his life meaningful. These are offered as compensation for all the trouble he
caused until this change. Ivan Illich is an example of Frankl’s concept of self-
transcendence, that is, of a man who could transcend himself to achieve a great
human accomplishment.
Both Tolstoy and Schopenhauer thought that the fact that life ends in death
forces us to speak about its meaning. Others think that this awareness about the
end of life in death destroys the happiness of the individual and his search for
meaning. Belief in God can relieve to a certain extent the anxiety over death, and
150 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

the promise of an afterlife enables one to work hard in this world, so that he or
she could gain entrance to the heavenly world. Yet, if God doesn’t exist, as so many
scientists and atheists claim, then our whole world is absurd and life too is absurd.
A most moving and poetic description of death is found in Hrabal’s (1994)
previously mentioned book Too Noisy Silence. The hero in this book loses his job at
the mill after thirty-five years. His machine is replaced by a modern compressor that
can produce ten times as many packages as the old one. Lonely and forlorn by his
friends and acquaintances, he sits down on a bench in the park and imagines how his
old machine will make a nice package for his body. The hero imagines meeting the
little gipsy girl who used to sneak into his small room and share her life with him—
until she was taken by the Germans to a concentration camp and never returned.
Hrabal wrote, “I was sitting on the bench, smiling an innocent smile; I didn’t
remember anything, didn’t hear anything, for I was already in the midst of the
‘Garden of Eden’ and thus I couldn’t see or hear my two gipsy women [being]
hugged by two gipsy men passing me in a hurry like in a dance and disappear
beyond the bushes” (p. 77).

A LOGOTHERAPEUTIC ATTITUDE TOWARD DEATH

Almost 2,000 years after Cicero’s book On Old Age (1909), Viktor Frankl (1962)
developed a philosophy toward dying and death that has gone far beyond the
ideas presented by that philosopher of antiquity. The main element in Frankl’s
philosophy is a psychological and philosophical alternative to the perception of
death as meaningless.
The unconditional meaningfulness of life, even with the reality of death, is based
on Frankl’s analysis of the meaning of death for all human beings. Frankl claims that
we are the only creatures on this planet who are aware of their own death. This
discovery should reawaken in us a sense of responsibility toward life, and not lead
us to deny death. This point is illustrated by the case of an old physician who went
to see Frankl to ask for advice. His beloved wife had died the previous year, and he
couldn’t overcome that loss. As a physician, he could easily prescribe himself a
tranquilizer to calm down, but he knew that this would not help him, and thus he
decided to ease his suffering by turning to Frankl for help.
Frankl asked this physician what would have happened if he had died before
his wife. “I can’t even think about it,” the old physician said, “how she would
have suffered!” At that point in the therapeutic session Frankl said to him: “You
see, she has been spared such suffering, and it was you who have spared her this
suffering, but now you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her.”
The old physician understood at once the meaning of his suffering and the
meaning of the sacrifice he had to make. He understood that it is impossible to
change fate, but it is possible to change one’s attitude to fate. Fate has robbed the
old physician of his wife but left in his hands the ability to discover meaning in
suffering by having a positive attitude to death. Then he calmly shook Frankl’s
hand and left the office (Man’s Search for Meaning, 1962, p. 113).
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 151

What is the attitude of logotherapy to death, suicide, euthanasia, and

immortality? Logotherapy has developed a psychological alternative for those
who think that death has no meaning. Frankl (1962) emphasized that
logotherapy’s main purpose is to help people attain their potential by making
their lives meaningful. Frankl wrote that “those things that seemingly take away
meaning from one’s life are not only suffering, but dying too, not only distress, but
death too” (Frankl, p. 120).
Therefore, instead of being preoccupied with death, one must occupy himself
with life, even if he is suffering from a deathly illness. Those who don’t learn to
live with ill luck—that is, illness—only wastes the little time left. A wise attitude
to life compels us to accept that life is transient.
Frankl has personally demonstrated this attitude to death in 1970, when he
suffered a heart attack and was taken to a hospital’s emergency room. When
Elisabeth Lukas, a former student, called and asked how he was feeling, he said
that his condition was serious and that his heart could stop beating any
minute.
In Meaning in Suffering (1986b), Lukas wrote that she very much wanted to talk
to Frankl to help him, but she couldn’t find words. Frankl then calmed her down
and said that death for him was not frightening at all, for he had completed his
task; responsibility for his life was taken from him, and he would accept fate’s
decision.
Frankl asked Lukas to remain calm when she faces her own death in the
future. “There is no need to be afraid,” he said. “He didn’t think about himself,”
Lukas wrote, “he didn’t think about his heart attack, he thought about me”
(Lukas, p. 139).
Empirical research conducted in the past twenty-five years supports Frankl’s
attitude to death (Batthyany and Guttmann, 2005). Findings in more than twenty
studies indicate that people over fifty, who are motivated by their inner forces,
exhibit less fear of death than those whose attitude to life is pessimistic.
Preoccupation with death, and constant reflection on it, prevents people from
doing their immediate tasks. Thoughts about death have a negative psychological
impact on them. On the other hand, an optimistic attitude to life and setting
realistic goals in the short run lessen the anxiety caused by the idea of death.
Women exhibit greater anxiety over death than men do. Contrary to expectations,
religion and spirituality do not significantly affect fear of death.
In The Doctor and the Soul (1986), Frankl speaks of two types of people
regarding attitude to death, the pessimist and the optimistic. The former is an
individual standing before a calendar and anxiously watching each day that passes
away. Such a person compares his or her life to the pages in the calendar and notes
anxiously how these are getting closer to their end. The latter is a person who
removes from the calendar the day already lived, writes on it what he or she has
accomplished that day, and adds it to the pages already lived. Such a person
doesn’t occupy him- or herself with thoughts of getting old, and he or she doesn’t
envy the young for having a long life before them. Instead, such an individual is
152 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

happy with the knowledge of having already lived a long life. And now he or she
can look back on it and see all achievements, love, and suffering experienced in a
long life. These fill his or her heart with pride.
Frankl compared human life to a work of art. Similar to the sculptor who
takes a block of stone and works it with a hammer and chisel to give it form and
create a statute, without knowing when he or she will complete it, so is a person’s
life, for one never knows when one will be called. Thus he or she must use the
time available to move forward with his work—even if his creation will not be
finished.
Sometimes an unfinished work is the most beautiful, as are the symphonies of
Schubert and Mozart. The fact that a work is not finished does not necessarily
mean that it has no meaning and value. The richness of one’s life, not its length,
is what enhances life’s worth.
The finiteness of life can be a reminder that we should use the available time
and opportunities in the best possible way. Therefore, we must be aware of and
responsible for our own lives. This attitude to life and death is available to
everybody, irrespective of one’s level of education and social standing.
The therapist may ask a client to imagine that he or she is old and pondering
over the pages of his or her life. Then a miracle happens and the client can choose
what to change in the last chapter of his or her life. If the client is able to imagine
such a situation, then he or she could grasp the weight of the responsibility for his
or her life in a given moment and understand what this responsibility demands of
him or her each and every day.
Frankl used to emphasize a maxim of logotherapy: live as if you were living your
life a second time and avoid the mistakes you did the first time. He used to ask his
clients to imagine their lives as a movie, but without being able to reverse what has
been recorded. Thus they could see their own responsibility for what had happened
and was happening, and correct what may still be possible to correct in the future.
Frankl was asked whether life should be preserved at all costs. He replied that
when life is no longer fit for human beings—that is, when the lives of human
beings become similar to those of lower animals or vegetables—they live such
horrible lives that it would be better to die, for any human being would refuse
such a life. Each individual would like to live a meaningful life irrespective of its
length. A short life can be full of accomplishments, such as the lives of many great
composers, and a long life can be without value.
Death gives value to life. Without death people would postpone doing
everything and disregard all commitment and responsibility toward their time.
Life itself would thus be without value and meaning.
Klingberg (2001) wrote a biography of Viktor Frankl and his wife, Eleanor.
Viktor used to say that the greatest value and honor that had been bestowed on him
was a certificate attesting that on his ninetieth birthday ninety trees were planted
by students of a high school in Canada, one tree for each year of his life. And every
time Viktor passed by this certificate he used to say, “Whenever I see this certificate,
I am ready to die” (p. 319).
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 153

LOGOTHERAPY’S ATTITUDE TOWARD SUICIDE

Logotherapy’s attitude to suicide is based on the ethical principles derived
from the Hippocratic Oath, which is commonly attributed to Hippocrates, the
great physician of ancient times and the founder of scientific medicine. In its
modern structure and content, this oath serves as a guide for the ethical behavior
of a physician anywhere in the world. This oath is the basis of the ethical codes in
the helping professions despite the many changes that have happened in the
profession of medicine during the past 2,500 years. The Hippocratic Oath is still
important today, and not only from a historical perspective.
Among the main elements of the Hippocratic Oath is respect for the patient
(this means refraining from engaging in sexual relations with the patient and
keeping confidentiality—except when the courts order otherwise), respect for the
teachers who taught this profession; respect for one’s colleagues; obligation to
participate in consultations and in the development of medical science and
technology; prohibition against accepting bribery and issuing false documents;
and dealing with the consequences in case the oath is violated.
The Hippocratic Oath forbids the killing of a fetus (abortion) or giving
assistance to anyone wishing to commit suicide. But what can be done in difficult
situations, when life and its meaning for the individual are at stake—as in cases
of endless suffering from an incurable disease, total limitation in mobility, loss of
self-respect or a great love, and economic or moral bankruptcy? Should the
command to save life be valid in these cases too? And how to reconcile the
Hippocratic Oath with modern societies’ new concepts of quality of life, life in
dignity, or dignified death? Each doctor must answer the questions above in his or
her own way, in accordance with his or her conscience.
The medical oath in all its versions and details has kept alive the social mission
of physicians for thousands of years. The Hippocratic Oath is even more
significant today than it was in the past, for debates about beginning and ending
a life not only cause controversy among cultures and within religions but also
affect medicine’s attitude toward these critical issues. It is indeed possible to refer
to the Hippocratic Oath to justify a certain position in medical practice for good
or bad, but one cannot avoid the central message contained in each of the recent
versions of that oath, its most important command: Primum, non nocere—that is,
before all else, do not harm!
Serving human beings as a physician is a privilege. Doctors must keep and safe-
guard the physical and mental health of patients, ease their suffering—irrespective
of gender, religion, political belief, or economical status—and refrain from using
professional knowledge for purposes other than what is included in the
Hippocratic Oath.
Frankl, as a physician and psychiatrist, was of course aware of what was
expected of him; he knew well the demands and obligations toward society
emanating from this oath. For this reason, Frankl based logotherapy’s attitude to
suicide and euthanasia on the ethical principles stemming directly from the
Hippocratic Oath.
154 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Research in logotherapy and meaning-oriented psychotherapy reveals that out

of a total of fifty-two studies examined, only four dealt directly with suicide or
thoughts of suicide among the aged. The other studies investigated suicide among
teenagers and young people—particularly students in colleges and universities—
or among mentally sick patients. According to studies carried out worldwide,
suicide is much more frequent among the young than among people who have
entered the second half of their lives (Batthyany and Guttmann, 2005).
An older person who loses belief in his or her values often feels that it’s time to
die, that there is no meaning in continuing to live or in continuing to suffer. These
feelings are accompanied by thoughts of death. A person entangled in a crisis of
values often thinks about death; however, these thoughts are seldom followed by
acts, for the person involved is afraid of death.
Even if we can understand the wish to die in certain situations, suicide is not
accepted by many religions or by modern psychology, including logotherapy. The
sacredness of life, of keeping it under the most trying conditions, is based on the
understanding that only in life is it possible to correct mistakes, find meaning, and
achieve goals. And only by living can one reach the highest spiritual level of
existence.
Finishing life untimely meant for the psychologist Jung ending an experiment
before it has begun. Jung thought that when we were born, we found ourselves in
the midst of an experiment that we have to conclude. Jung’s attitude to suicide is
close to that of Frankl, who developed logotherapy while serving as a physician
and psychiatrist during the first half of the twentieth century.
Frankl’s approach to suicide became a principle of logotherapy. Frankl was
convinced that even in situations that seem hopeless, there is an outlet. Suicide
always causes suffering to another human being. The one who commits suicide can
never annul or correct this suffering. Therefore, suicide is never an honorable act.
Those considering suicide should be warned that no problem can be corrected by
such an act.
No physician, psychiatrist, or social worker can protect another human being
from unhappiness, but it is possible to help people have meaningful lives even
when not all of their wishes can be fulfilled. Meaning can be acquired by
overcoming negative feelings and by learning. Suffering can make one more
mature and able to cope with fate.
A would-be victim of suicide can be assisted in the discovery of new goals and
new tasks that answer the question of why. Knowing why helps one to carry the
how. This knowledge has great therapeutic value when one is in a mental crisis.
One can be taught that one’s life has a unique purpose, a purpose which only he
or she, and no one else, can or should accomplish. If one is aware of this
uniqueness and perceives life as a mission, then one is able to grasp its value and
to use the opportunities life would bring in the future.
In The Doctor and the Soul (1986), Frankl compares a victim of suicide to a
chess player who, when he is about to lose the game, sweeps all the figures off
the chessboard; but to no avail, for he can’t thus solve his problem. People can’t
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 155

solve real problems in life by throwing away life itself. And in the same way that
the chess player is not acting according to the rules of the game when he sweeps
off the figures, one who commits suicide is violating the rules of life when he
chooses suicide as solution to his problems. These rules do not demand being
victorious all the time and at all costs. They only ask that we do not give in and
leave the battlefield without a fight (p. 53).
In his work with people contemplating suicide in Vienna’s Steinhof Hospital
for the mentally sick, Frankl helped some 1,200 women to avoid suicide. His
method consisted of the following: First he would familiarize himself with the
personal background of the patient and then he would ask the patient whether
she still had suicidal thoughts. The patient would answer no, for she wanted to
leave the hospital to commit suicide. Then Frankl would ask why she no longer
had suicidal thoughts. If the patient was nervous, she would try to avoid eye con-
tact with him, and she couldn’t offer any reason why not to commit suicide
Frankl knew then that she posed a danger to herself. But if the patient answered
the same question by saying that she had a family to take care of, or that she had
a task to fulfill, then Frankl knew that this patient saw meaning in life and thus
posed no danger to herself.
When Frankl was incarcerated in a concentration camp, he realized that his
method worked well, for as long as prisoners attached meaning to their suffering,
as long as there was a loved person or an important goal that the prisoner wanted
to achieve, he or she would not commit suicide. Of course, any prisoner could die
in many different ways in a concentration camp, but discounting misfortune or
bad fate, such a prisoner was among the survivors (Klingberg, 2001, p. 78).

EUTHANASIA FROM A LOGOTHERAPEUTIC PERSPECTIVE

In 1987 the world was shaken by the news of the murder of helpless old people
in a hospital in the city of Vienna, Austria. The murders were committed
systematically by three young nurses and by a forty-nine-year-old head nurse. In
the investigation following the discovery of the murders, the nurses stated that
they had killed forty-eight old and sick patients in cold blood. The head nurse was
responsible for killing thirty-nine of the victims, by giving them lethal doses of
insulin and by strangling them. These nurses were known in the hospital as
industrious and kind people, and their colleagues and patients could not believe
their confessions published in the newspapers.
The four nurses accused of murder claimed in their defense that they
committed those acts to ease the suffering of their victims. They tried to escape
punishment by saying that they had simply performed euthanasia. This event was
an isolated case in the nursing profession at that time, but the potential for
repeating it exists everywhere. Therefore, it is important to understand the
concept of euthanasia.
Many members of the helping professions have power over those in their care.
This power could be misused with fatal consequences. Although the great
156 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

majority of these professionals are decent and law-abiding people, some of them
may think like the “good nurses” from Vienna.
Sometimes a patient may ask a nurse or a doctor for help in ending his or her
life, and the request sounds reasonable, for the patient can’t bear the suffering.
The patient is fully conscious, has control over his or her mental power, and
understands the meaning of the request—to die with dignity. Yet, even if the
request sounds reasonable, the helping professional must abide by the law.
Euthanasia is rejected almost universally. But beyond the written law, the
Hippocratic Oath, or the Code of Ethics of a given helping profession is the sixth
commandment in the Old Testament: “Do not kill”(Exodus 20: 13).
There have been heated debates about the rights of a terminally sick person to be
euthanized. In the center of this debate are questions such as: Isn’t it better for a ter-
minally sick old person to die, instead of suffering from untreatable illness? Does
this person have a right to ask a physician to end his or her suffering and help him
or her to end his life? The request by such a patient is an expression of the age-old
human quest to die with dignity and without suffering. This is the real meaning of
euthanasia today. Logotherapy does not accept “mercy killing” for any reason.
Euthanasia in its original meaning means this attitude toward death. The
author of this book has no interest in delving into issues of active or passive
euthanasia, or into issues of whether or not a patient has a right to control his or
her death. These issues are too complex for analysis in this book. Therefore, he
only wishes to concentrate on logotherapy’s attitude toward euthanasia. Let us
begin with an example from Frankl’s Psychotherapy for Every Man (1971).
An old and very industrious nurse in a hospital was sick with incurable cancer.
She was in despair for not being able to carry on her work and wished to die.
Before she could do any harm to herself, Frankl visited her to find out what he
could do to ease her suffering and despair, and to tell her that any person can work
hard, but not everybody can suffer with dignity. Frankl told her that now she had
been given an opportunity to show the other patients that the meaning of life is
not dependent on hard work alone, for if this were true, then none of the helpless
patients and disabled people had the right to live. There was still one thing that
this nurse could do: to serve as a model for others on how to die with dignity. The
nurse died a week later from natural causes.
Euthanasia in its narrowest sense means easing one’s suffering by taking
medications. The practice is treated as a “matter-of-fact” by all physicians and, as
such, does not cause any controversy. The problem with euthanasia centers on
ending a life considered not worthy of a human being by the doctors.
Logotherapists do not consider doctors the only authorities for decisions about
life and death. No doctor is God! If doctors are given the right to decide when
another person’s life becomes worthless, even if that person is considered med-
ically untreatable, then doctors have power that does not belong to the medical
profession. That is why logotherapy vehemently opposes any form of euthanasia.
Some politicians, journalists, and experts in public relations try to justify
euthanasia in cases of severe mental illness, by saying that it is better for them to
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 157

die than to suffer, and it is better for society to use the resources allocated for the
care of those people in a more useful manner. Frankl rejects such claims altogether.
He emphasizes more convincing reasons for their rejection by logotherapists.
First of all, what does it mean to say that a patient has an incurable illness? He
presented a personal experience with the following case: a gravelly ill young man
was lying in a hospital for a long time, being fed through a tube in his nose. What
could be expected in this situation? Wasn’t it better for the patient to be
euthanized? The future provided the answers to these questions.
One day the young man sat up in his bed, asked for food, got out of bed to
exercise his legs, and behaved normally. Pretty soon the muscles in his legs had
strengthened so much that in a few weeks he left the hospital and returned to his
previous occupation. This patient, now cured, began to give lectures on his
experience in the hospital where he had spent five years. During those years he
observed human behavior, especially the behavior of doctors, nurses, and other
patients. If he had been “sentenced” to euthanasia, he would have missed out on
his new life.
What is considered today an incurable illness may become routinely cured
tomorrow with the help of new medications. And who could say with certainty
that there is nothing to do in a given case? Who would have imagined 100 years
ago that certain forms of mental illness can be cured or at least palliated?
Frankl objected to using illnesses that were incurable as justifications for
performing euthanasia It was his contention that we have no real knowledge
about human beings or about illnesses to claim with certainty that a patient
cannot be cured. And who gives the doctors the right to play God? Who gives
them the right to be the judge?
Since the days of Hippocrates a physician has had two purposes: to cure when
possible and to ease the suffering when curing was not possible. Therefore, a
doctor has no right—in fact, he or she is forbidden—to decide whether a person’s
life is worth living or not—even if this person suffers from an incurable illness.
Many doctors can testify about cases in which old patients in acute pain begged
them to end their suffering through euthanasia, only to return home happily and
full of plans after the crisis had gone by. If those patients could hear themselves
when they were brought to the hospital in dire condition, they wouldn’t believe
their own ears. They wouldn’t agree that they were the same people who cried
bitter tears and wanted to die by all means.

ATTITUDE TOWARD IMMORTALITY

Man takes into consideration immortality and forgets to take into consideration
death. (Kundera, 1990, p. 74)

No one could begin life anew for we can never discover the sponge with which we
could erase the table of our life. (Ancsel, 1999, p. 128)
158 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Jonathan Swift (1667–1745)—satirist, essayist, poet, and writer of political

pamphlets—is best remembered perhaps for his wonderful book Gulliver’s Travels
(1962). In his third voyage, Gulliver encounters some strange creatures called
Struld-Brugs. These are human beings with a special mark on their foreheads,
born in the land of the Log-Nogs. This mark, a red circle above the left eyelid,
attests to their immortality. The color of this mark changes with development:
when a Struld-Brug reaches the age of forty-five, the red circle becomes black and
grows to the size of a coin.
The children of these creatures resemble other children. There are no more
than 1,100 immortals among them. When Gulliver tells his hosts that he wishes to
become one of the immortals to gain eternal life, to accomplish great deeds, and
to teach future generations about the wonders of nature, the universe, and history,
his hosts hasten to correct his mistaken thoughts.
The Struld-Brugs tell Gulliver they act like all other people until the age of
thirty. Afterward they gradually become melancholic and depressed until age
eighty, which in Gulliver’s times was the longest age a man could reach.
Gulliver’s hosts show him all the shortcomings the aged Struld-Brugs have to
face, along with all the pain and suffering that endlessly burdens their existence, for
they can’t die. They can’t experience any feeling of kindness, friendship, or mercy.
The Struld-Brugs are full of envy, passion, and longings for pleasures that they
cannot have. They are envious of those who can die, because they no longer suffer.
Their memory is limited to what they have learned in their childhood. They are
incapable of learning new things. The least miserable among them are those who
lost their memory altogether. These get some help out of mercy because they lack
the bad traits evident in the others.
The Struld-Brugs cannot get married for fear of continuing the suffering of
their race in the world. When they reach the age of eighty, they are considered
dead. They lose their properties to their heirs, except for a small pension for a
meager existence. They can’t hold any public position or office, buy land, or serve
as witness in any civil or criminal dispute or trial. At the age of ninety, they lose
their teeth and hair, and the sense of taste, and they eat and drink without wanting
to. They are vulnerable to many illnesses, and they forget the names of people
(even friends and relatives) they come in social contact with. They can’t even get
in touch with other Struld-Brugs of another generation for they don’t remember
their language, and they can’t speak with people who have been living for 200 years.
They seem to Gulliver horrible and unhappy creatures, especially the women, who
have lost their human form.
Swift laughs at the human quest for eternal life and says that the reader has
undoubtedly understood by now that what he has heard or seen did not wet his
appetite for eternal living. Gulliver adds that no cruel tyrant or dictator could
invent a more horrible death that he would not happily accept in order to escape
from such a life.
Lengthening life beyond what nature has devised is a stupid thing, he tells his
readers. Instead of trying to achieve eternal life, we should concentrate improving
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 159

the living conditions of those who lack the resources for a dignified human
existence.
Longevity, which has doubled in the past 100 years, is a blessing for those who
are able to enjoy the benefits of modern medicine, science, and technology. As for
the others, longevity means adding years to their suffering and pain.
Swift’s book warns us against the endless pursuit of eternal life and advises that we
should devote our energies in living a good life, no matter if our life is short or long.
The subject of immortality continues to occupy an important place in human
endeavors. The mystery of life after death is part of all major religions. For these
the issue is a matter of belief, reward, or punishment.
The mystery of death has been the subject of many great works in literature,
music, and cinema. The Czech writer Milan Kundera, for example, has devoted
one of his works to this subject. His witty book Immortality (1990) attests to his
sense of humor, intelligence, and sharp eye. This work criticizes Western culture’s
perception of metaphysic existence.
In a most entertaining imaginary conversation between the philosopher and
poet Goethe, and the famous writer Ernest Hemingway, Goethe says that human
beings know that they are mortals; they know that there is death, and nevertheless
they are unable to accept it, to understand it, and to behave accordingly. A human
being does not know how to be mortal or how to become dead. Kundera adds,
“Now that he is already dead some one hundred fifty-six years, the time has come
to laugh at immortality and to use his being dead to go to sleep” (p. 291).
The immortality Kundera refers to in his book is not connected to the eternity
of the soul. For Kundera this concept has no religious connotations. Kundera’s
notion of immortality is interested only in what will remain in the memory of
future generations after one’s death. “Each human being can attain great or small
immortality, a short or a long one,” says Kundera (p. 49). There is a difference
between “small immortality—defined as the memory one leaves in the hearts of
those who knew him or her—and “great immortality”—that is, the memory one
leaves in the hearts of those who didn’t know him personally.
Great immortality, or eternal glory, is the domain of famous artists, military
leaders, and politicians. Kundera presents a third type of immortality, which he
calls “ridiculous,” and in which a famous person is caught in a ridiculous
situation. Of the three types of immortality, the last one is the one famous people
want to avoid.
A man’s life is like a clock, says Kundera: until a certain time death seems far
away and unworthy of thoughts, for it cannot be seen. This is the first and best
period of our lives. But then, all of a sudden, we begin to see death right before
our eyes, and we cannot stop thinking about it. Death remains with us. And since
immortality is inextricably connected to death, we can say that immortality, too,
remains with us, at least in thought. And as soon as we know that it is with us, we
begin to prepare ourselves to greet it. This is the second part of our lives. There is
also a third part, short and most mysterious, and about which we know very little.
The strength and vigor we used to have diminishes, and we tire easily. This is the
160 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

period in which immortality of an old man or woman plays an important part.

When old people get closer to death they usually give up their preoccupation with
mundane matters and concentrate their efforts on securing for themselves some
form or measure of immortality. For example, a known artist who has to admit
that he or she can no longer paint may ensure that his or her creations will end up
in a museum or gallery and that they are exhibited long after his or her death.
There are, however, some exceptional old people—such as the poet,
playwright, and philosopher Goethe, who at the age of seventy-five was able to
come to life once again when a young and attractive woman knocked on his door.
Although he knew that the real reason for the unexpected visit was the woman’s
interest in his immortality and glory, this knowledge didn’t prevent him from
becoming a victim to her charm over and over again.
In a hilarious passage in his book, Kundera arranges for Hemingway and
Goethe to meet. The two talk about the great sadness that had befallen them for
being immortal. They talk about their inability to escape from public admiration
and about their real selves, as opposed to their public personae. Their real selves
are very different from their public selves. They also talk about what they really
desire: to rest.
The literary legends created by poets, writers, journalists, and historians never
match reality. One can plan his or her immortality, even prepare for it, but there
is no guarantee that it will last as planned and wished by the planner. It is
impossible to determine ahead of time what meaning future generations will give
to the immortality of great people.
“When I understood one day that the subject is immortality,” Hemingway tells
Goethe, “I was scared to death. Since then I asked everybody a thousand times to
leave me alone. I moved to Cuba to escape from their eyes. I don’t give a hoot
about immortality. A man can end his life, but he can’t end his immortality”
(Kundera, p. 82).
Goethe comforts Hemingway with a personal story about the troubles of
immortality. He describes in vivid colors the way Bettina, the young woman
supposedly in love with him, pursues him. And when Hemingway remarks that
Goethe is dressed ridiculously, the latter bursts into laughter. “The immortals have
a right to dress as they please,” Goethe tells Hemingway. “I got dressed like a
scarecrow because of Bettina. She speaks of her great love for me everywhere and
I want people to see the subject of this great love . . . an old and bald man without
teeth, wearing some transparent green piece of cloth tied with strings over his
forehead. I wear it for my eyes hurt a lot” (Kundera, p. 85).
When the psychologist Carl Gustav Jung was asked about life after death, he
answered that so far he didn’t know it, and when he died, he would be able to say,
“now we shall see.” But as long as he was around and living, he could only talk
about what he had to do here and do it the best he could (1997).
Many people are not interested in the subject of immortality, and they get
horrified by the idea that they will be sitting on a cloud and playing the harp for
10,000 years. Others get so sick of life that they prefer nothingness over any other
A Logotherapeutic Perspective on Death 161

form of existence after death. Yet, in most cases the longing for immortality is
immediate.
If there were a conscious existence after death, Jung said, it would develop like
human consciousness toward greater heights. Many people, those who didn’t
achieve in their lives what others did, wish to attain immortality after death as a
compensation for this deficiency in their lives (Jung, Memories, Dreams and
Thoughts, p. 382).
Frankl agrees with Jung’s attitude to immortality and claims that human
beings do not want to accept that with death everything will cease for them.
Human beings can’t accept that one day they are here, and the next they are gone,
or that there is no answer to the question of where the dead have gone.
Immortality cannot be grasped by contemplation, the same way that one cannot
decide whether a pair of glasses is good by only looking at them: one can find out
only by looking through the glasses.
A spiritual personality remains accessible to others during his life and
afterward by his voice. Even someone who died a long time ago—a great artist
such as Caruso, for example—remains immortal through recordings of his voice.
A great scientist such as Einstein remains immortal through his invaluable
scientific contributions, which remain after his body no longer exists.
In death we lose our consciousness and the sense of time. A spiritual existence is
possible only in the spiritual dimension, not in the temporal one. And where there
is no time, there is no past, no present, no future, and no existence. Therefore, all
hypotheses about existence beyond the physical, the here and now, are groundless.
Logotherapy recognizes the importance of the values explicated in this book. It
recognizes and emphasizes first of all human beings as the supreme value.
Logotherapy insists that each human being is a world in itself—special, unique, and
unable to escape loneliness in the face of death. Yet every human being can cope
with death through love and choice. According to this philosophy of life and theory
of motivation, a human being can choose how he or she wants to live and die.
Logotherapy’s insistence on the unconditional meaningfulness of life; on
turning suffering into a human accomplishment; on deriving from guilt the
opportunity to change for the better; on seeing life as transitory and thus
requiring one to take responsible action; and, above all, on a person’s freedom to
choose a meaningful life, can all be helpful in alleviating fear of death in old age.
This idea is eloquently expressed by the poet Hayim Motalis (1996, p. 90),
whose poem I wish to present here (in my translation from Hebrew to English) to
sum up this book:
Say yes to life
Say yes to life,
And good morning to a new day,
Begin your day
In your old age
In hope and strength, without fear!
Memories and pictures
162 Finding Meaning in Life, at Midlife and Beyond

Of hours and days,

Of lovely minutes
Pass in procession;
Despite wrinkles and gray hair,
Despite losses and aches,
Good morning to a new day
In hope and strength, without fear!
Look around you, everything’s blooming
Enjoy the golden lighting, sun’s ray
That dance around your porch,
Awaken you from your dream
With good morning to a new day;
With flowers,
With colors,
With fragrance,
Even for an old man.
Say yes to life
And good morning to a new day
In hope and strength—without fear!
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 Index

Adler, Alfred Buber, Martin

theory of psychology, 32 influence on logotherapy, 63–64
views on development of logotherapy, views on search for happiness,
32–33 23–24
views on guilt feeling, 127 Bulgakov, M., 124
Aging process Bulka, Reuven P., 114, 118
accepting, 4 Burnam, Rabbi, 64
definition of, 3
findings of National Council on Aging, Camus, Albert, 60–61
27–28 Cato, 6–7, 10–11, 14–16
necessary renunciations, 11–12 Choice
rejecting, 3–4 freedom and, 53–54
spiritual freedom, 13–14 and responsibility, 126
troublesome, 10–11 (see also Old age) Cicero, Marcus Tulius
virtues of, 11 attitude toward meaningful living,
Analysis of Marriages (Szondi), 82, 86 6–7
Ananke, definition of, 83 influence on Seneca, 7
Anatomy of an Illness (Cousins), troublesome old age, 10–11
114–115 views on defense against troubles of
Ancsel, Eva, 123–124 old age, 15–16
Appealing technique, 57 views on lack of sensual pleasures in
Augustinus, Aurelius, 20–21 old age, 15
Autobiography (Russell), 139 views on weakening bodily strength,
14–15
Balzac, Honoré de Cohen, B.Z., 137–138
intergenerational relationships, 8–9 Concept of Dread, The (Kierkegaard), 95
life’s meaning, 69 Conrad, Joseph 138–139
Baziz, O., 137 Conscience
Biological fate, 87–89 Freud’s concept of, 126–127
Brecht, Bertolt, 54 listening to own, 124

169
170 Index

Courage, human virtue Ellis, Albert, 20

Brecht’s story on, 54 Epicurus, 20
Frankl’s testimony, 55–56 Erikson, Erik, 17, 111
Cousins, Norman, 114–115 Eudaimonia, concept of, 6
Euthanasia, 155–157
Dalai Lama, 19 Existentialism
De Senectude (On Old Age) (Cicero), 6 Camus’s views on, 60–61
Death concept of, 59–60, 63
accepting, 146
according to writers and leaders, Fate
149–150 biblical and literary attitudes toward,
attitudes toward, 146–147 79–81
Cicero’s approach toward, 145–146 biological, 87–89
concept of, 149 concept of, 79
denial of, 104, 145 Jung’s views on, 81
euthanasia and, 155–157 logotherapeutic perspective on
versus immortality, 157–161 psychological, 89–90
litterateurs’ views on, 149–150 logotherapy’s approach to, 86–87
logotherapeutic attitude toward, 150–152 logotherapy’s perspective on sociologi-
logotherapy’s attitude to suicide and, cal, 90–92
153–155 and meaningful living, 79
Mexican approach to, 145 Szondi’s mental picture of human
and midlife as turning point, 147–149 being, 85–86
and value of life, 152 Szondi’s scientific work on analysis of,
Death of Ivan Illich, The (Tolstoy), 69 83–85
Dereflection, 98–99 Szondi’s theory of, 81–83
Despair Fate Analysis and Self-Disclosure (Szondi),
causes of, 93–94 81–82
defense against, 98–100 Fate analysis theory
as failure of development, 95–96 aim of, 84
Frankl’s dereflection, 98–99 concept of genotropism, 84–85
Kierkegaard’s views on, 94–95, 96 freely chosen and forced fates, 83–84
Kratochwill’s theory of value orienta- Father Goriot (Balzac)
tion, 97 intergenerational relationships, 8–9
logotherapy’s attitude toward, 96–97 life’s meaning, 69
Lukas’s views on, 99–100 Faust (Goethe), 20
meaning of, 97–98 Fear and Trembling (Kierkegaard), 95
mortal illness in aging, 93–95 Frankl, Viktor Emil
value orientation theory, 97–98 and Adler, Alfred, 55
Devil in Moscow, The (Bulgakov), 124 aim in creating logotherapy, 30
Dickens, Charles, 138 analysis of the meaning of death,
Doctor and the Soul: from Psychotherapy to 150–152
Logotherapy, The (Frankl), 74, 75 approach to suicide, 154–155
87–89, 96 attitude toward immortality, 161
on boredom, 59
Ecce Homo: How One Becomes What One and Buber, Martin, 63–64
Is (Nietzsche), 51 dereflection method by, 98–99
Einstein, Albert, 22 emphasize on adult phase of, 29
Index 171

events influenced, 30–31 real, 130

existential vacuum, concept of, in relation to the Fifth
96–97 Commandment, 128–129
and Freud, Sigmund, 55 Guilt and remorse
height psychology, 55 concept of, 125–127
human being’s unique role, 31 logotherapy’s attitude to, 129–132 (see
immunity against nihilism, also Guilt)
developing, 29 in relation to the Fifth
logotherapy, developing, 28–29 Commandment, 128–129
mental health, views on, 47–48 (see role of conscience, 123–125
also Supra-meaning) Gulliver’s Travels (Swift), 158–159
and Nietzsche, Friedrich, 55–56
and religion, 55–56 Happiness
and Scheler, Max, 62 Augustinus’s view on, 20–21
testimony to courage, 55–56 Buber’s view on search of, 23–24
three triangles of logotherapy, 30–31 by-product of life’s meaning, 49
tragic triangle and, 129–130 concept of, 19
treatment of phobia and, 120–121 Dalai Lama’s views on, 19
views on death,150–152 Ellis’s rules for optimal living, 20
views on loneliness, 142 Epicurus’s views on, 20
views on humor, 119–12 Kierkegaard’s views on, 21
views on “supra-meaning” (see Supra- kinds of, 19
meaning) living for others as, 24–25
will to meaning, 75–76 (see also Lukas’s views on, 25
Takashima, Hiroshi and functional Mill’s views on, 21
dimension) need for, 21
Freedom of will, 29–31, 41–42, 99 need for love and, 22–23
Freedom of the Will (Schopenhauer), 30 Nietzsche’s views on, 21
Freedom to choose, 53–54 in old age, 19
Freud, Sigmund pain, boredom, and, 56–59
attitude toward joke, 116–118 as philosophical problem, 20–21
influence on Frankl, Viktor Emil, 55 purpose of life, 19
views on biology, 29 Schopenhauer’s views on (see
Schopenhauer, Arthur)
Gary, Roman, 68 search for, 23–24
Gerontology, 3 secret of, 22–23
Gibson, 136–137, 142–143 and self-actualization, 22
God’s cloud, 56 Seneca’s views on, 20
Goethe, Johan Wolfgang von, 20, 56 struggle for, 19–20
Guide for the Perplexed (Maimonides), Harel, Nira, 111
28–29 Height psychology, 55
Guilt Hemingway, Ernest, 68, 159–160
existential, 130, 131 Hillel the Elder, 64
Frankl’s tragic triangle, 129 Honor of Life (Schweitzer), 18
and guilt feeling, 125–127 Hrabal, Bohumil
Lukas’s views on, 131–132 approach toward death, 71–72, 150
neurotic, 130 views on life’s meaning, 71–72
noetic, 131 views on old-age homes, 111–112
172 Index

Humanistic Psychosomatic Medicine King Lear (Shakespeare)

(Takashima), 76 depicting intergenerational
Humor relationships, 8–9
attitude toward, 113–114 life’s meaning, 69
logotheraphy’s approach, 119–121 King Solomon’s Dread (Gary), 68
Lukas’s views on, 121–122 Koby Knows (Harel), 111
Marx’s views on, 114 Kratochwill and value orientation theory,
power of, 113 97
Socrates’s views on, 114 Kundera, Milan, 68, 159–160
value of , 114–116 (see also Humor
and laughter) Laughter
Humor and laughter Kant’s views on, 116
attitude toward, 113–114 power of, 113, 115
Bulka’s views on, 114, 118 social value, 115–116 (see also Humor
importance of jokes (see Jokes) and laughter)
power of, 113 Life
value in life’s second half, 114–116 achievements in three areas of, 33
choosing unique way in, 63
Immortality, concept of concept of meaning in, 31 (see also
Frankl’s attitude toward, 161 Logotherapy)
Jung’s views on, 160–161 existence, essence of, 73
Kundera’a approach toward, 159–160 meaning of moment, 35–36, 46
Swift’s views on, 158–159 Motalis’s attitude toward, 161–162
Immortality (Kundera), 68–69, 159–160 parts of, 7
positive attitude toward, 49 (see also
Jacobson, Ran, 110–111 Logotherapy principles)
Jokes saying “yes” to, 59–61
essence of, 116 second half of (see Life’s second half)
Frankl’s views on, 119–120 Seneca’s attitude toward, 7–8
Freud’s attitude toward, 116–117 as task, 71, 73 (see also Life’s task)
means of survival, 118–119 tension and stress, integral parts of, 73
Joke and Its Relationship to the time usage and, 152
Unconscious, The (Freud), 116 Life as an Unknown Story (Ancsel), 123
Jung, Carl Gustav Life’s meaning
commenting on his old age, 14 as achievement, 48–49 (see also
developing inner strengths, 34 Logotherapy principles)
first half of life, 34 Balzac’s views on, 69
meaninglessness of life, 33–34 concept of components, 31 (see also
second half of life, 34–35 Logotherapy)
views on coping with loneliness, 134–135 Gary’s views on, 68
views on immortality, 160–161 Goethe’s views on, 72–73
views on loneliness, 134–135, 144 happiness, as by-product, 49 (see also
Happiness)
Kant, Immanuel, 116 Hemingway’s views on, 68
Karma, 81 Hrabal’s views on, 69, 71–72
Kierkegaard, Søren Aabye, 21, 94 Jewish religious attitudes toward,
views on concept of sin, 96 65–68
views on despair as mortal illness, 95 Jung’s approach to, 33–35
Index 173

Kundera’s views on, 68–69 Life Wisdom (Schopenhauer), 57–58

logotherapy and, 70, 104 Logotherapy
logotheraphy’s ways of discovering, Adler’s theory of psychology, 32–33
103–104 approach to biological fate, 87–89
Mann’s views on, 68 approach to humor and laughter,
moment’s meaning, 35–36 119–122
Nietzche’s opinion about, 72 approach to psychological fate,
questions about, xvi 89–90
Shakespeare’s views on, 69 approach to sociological fate, 90–92
sources discovering, 103–104 approach toward euthanasia,
subjective and changing (see Logother- 155–157
apy principles) attitude toward death, 150–152
Tolstoy’s views on, 69 attitude toward euthanasia, 155–157
Wiesel’s views on, 69–70 attitude toward guilt, 129–132
Life’s meaning and sources attitude toward immortality, 161
faces of love in old age, 108–109 attitude toward suicide and, 153–155
logotherapy’s ways, 103–104 basic assumptions, 30
importance of music to one’s soul, Buber’s philosophy, influences of,
104–105 63–64
Jewish religious attitudes and, 65–68 concepts of, 6, 30
literature’s significance in old age, despair, attitude toward, 96–97
106–107 discovering life’s meaning, 103–104
meaningful intergenerational relation- existentialism and (see
ships, 109–111 Existentialism)
old-age homes, role of, 111–112 Frankl’s aim in creating, 30
therapeutic power of music in old age Frankl’s attitude (see Supra-meaning)
105–106 Frankl’s definition of, 29–30
Life’s second half Frankl’s developments of, 30–31
faces of love, 108–109 freedom of the will, 30–31
finding meaning for, 4–6 guiding principles of (see Logotherapy
meaningful living in, 6–7 principles)
value of humor and laughter, Guttmann’s way to, xviii
114–116 (see also Humor and Jung’s approach to, 33–35
laughter) human traits and, 55
Life’s task humor within, 119–122
acquiring awareness about, 72 and its views on fate, 86–90
functional dimension, 76–77 meaningful living and, xv–xvi
Hrabal’s approach toward, 71–72 meaning of moment (see Life)
importance of, 72–73 Nietzsche, Friedrich, and, 51–53
personal responsibility in fulfilling, perspective on loneliness, 142–144
73–75 (see also Life’s task, philosophical sources (see Logotherapy
fulfillment of) and philosophical sources)
Life’s task, fulfillment of Scheler’s impact on, 61–63
Frankl’s account of, 74, 75 “supra-meaning,” Frankl’s attitude (see
people’s approach to, 74 Supra-meaning)
post-retirement attitude, 74 as theory of motivation in human
role in life, essence of, 74–75 behavior, 55
Russell’s approach to, 73–74 Yalom’s definition of, 30
174 Index

Logotherapy and philosophical sources Jewish perspectives on, 139

Buber’s views, 63–64 Jung’s perspective on, 134–135
Brecht’s views on courage, 54 in kibbutzim, 139–141
Camus’s views (see Existentialism) in literature on aging, 138–139
Frankl’s height psychology, 55–56 logotherapy’s perspective on, 142–144
freedom to choose, 53–54 old age alleviation programs, 141
Nietzsche’s views, 51–53 among pre-elderly people, 133–135
Scheler’s views on, 61 programs for alleviating, in old age,
Schopenhauer’s views, 56–59 141
Logotherapy concepts in special groups of elderly people,
freedom of will, 29–31, 99 139–141
meaning in life (see Life’s meaning) types of, 136–137
self-transcendence, 63 Lukacs, J., 25
will to meaning, 31, 75 Lukas, Elisabeth
Logotherapy for the Helping Professional: approach to humor and jokes,
Meaningful Social Work 121–122
(Guttmann), 31 views on despair, 99–100
Logotherapy principles views on guilt, 131–132
ability to rise, 44 views on happiness, 25
capacity for self-detachment, 44
defiant power of human spirit, 42–43, Magic Mountain, The (Mann), 68
44 Man and Man (Buber), 63–64
freedom of will, 30–31, 41–42 Mann, Thomas, 68
happiness in life, 49 Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning
human ability and spirit, 44 (Frankl), 37, 120
and life’s meaning, 48–49 Man’s Search for Meaning (Trotzdem Ja
living in present and looking forward, zum Leben Sagen) (Frankl), 85, 90,
44–45 120
meaning of moment, 46 (see also Life’s Marx, Karl, 114
meaning) Meaning
and Nietzsche, Friedrich, 53–54 discovering and finding, 103–104
physical, psychological, and spiritual discovering in old-age homes, 111–112
dimensions, 43–44 finding in second half of life, 4–6
positive attitude toward life, 49 of the moment, 36
responsibility for our choices, 46–47, search for and responsibility, 70
63 supra-, 37–39
spiritual tension, 47–48 Meaningful Living: A Logotherapy Book
subjective and ever-changing meaning, (Lukas), 121
45–46 Meaning of Life, The (Adler), 32–33
uniqueness and irreplaceability, 45 Memories, Dreams, and Thoughts (Jung),
Loneliness 14, 81, 134
Baziz’s views on, 137 Memories of a Class Repeater (Hrabal), 69
Cohen’s views on, 137–138 Mental health
coping with, 133 effect of value orientation, 97–98
definition of, 135 and life’s task (see Life’s task)
Dickens’s views on, 138 Midlife, as turning point, 147–149
among elderly people, 133–135 Millions of Harlekin, The (Hrabal), 112
forced and voluntary, 135 Mill, John Stuart, 21
Index 175

Moment, meaning of, 35–36, 46 love and, 108–109

Motalis, Hayim, 161–162 meaning and homes for elderly,
Music 111–112
and old age, 105–106 music and, 105–106
the soul and, 104–105 positive struggle for survival, 19–20
My Sister and Me (Nietzsche), 52 preparations for, 16–18 (see also Old
Myth and Reality of the Elderly Situation age preparations)
in America, The (National Council present attitude of, 27–28
on Aging), 27 and preserving uniqueness of individ-
Myth of Sisyphus, The (Camus), 60 ual, 64
Myths and Reality of Aging in America, psychology in, 28–29
The, 11 recognizing, 3
renunciations, 11–12
Nachman, Rabbi, of Breslau, 67–68 Seneca’s views on shortness of time,
National Council on Aging, 136, 138 7–8
Nietzsche, Friedrich spiritual freedom, 13–14
contribution of, to logotherapy, therapeutic power of music in,
51–53 105–106
courage, 55 value of humor in, 114–116
views on freedom and choice, 53–54 virtues of, 11
views on happiness, 21 weakening bodily strength, 14–15
Old age preparations
Old age Cicero’s views on, 16
advantages, 13 development of gerontology, 16
arriving at, 3–4 Erikson’s remarks, 17
care for parents in, 127–129 meaningful, 16–18
defense against troubles of, 15–16, Schweitzer’s views on, 18
33–34 Old Man and the Sea, The (Hemingway),
despair and, 94–97 68
difficulties faced in, 10–11 Oliver Twist (Dickens), 138
Ellis’s twenty rules for optimal living, On Old Age (De Senectude) (Cicero), 6
20 On the Paths of Our Depths (Jung), 81
exploitation of people in, 9 Optimal Aging: Get over Getting Older
faces of love in, 108–109 (Ellis), 20
Freud’s attitude toward, 116–117
happiness in, 19 Pain, boredom, and happiness
humor and laughter in (see Humor Frankl’s views on, 59
and laughter) Schopenhauer’s philosophy of,
ingratitude for generosity of, 8–9 56–59
intergenerational relationships, Partners, dependency on, 24–25
109–111 Pessimism, 56–57
jokes as means for survival, 118–119 Phenomenology, 61
lack of respect, 9–10 Picasso, Pablo, 14
lack of sensual pleasures, 14 Plague, The (Camus), 60
literature as source of joy and meaning Psychology
in, 106–107 Adler’s theory of, 32
living for others as happiness, 24 Frankl’s height, 55–56
loneliness in (see Loneliness) in old age, 28–29
176 Index

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, 20 Souls on Fire (Wiesel), 69–70

Reflection on My Eightieth Birthday Spiritual freedom. 13
(Russell), 73–74 Suicide, logotherapy’s attitudes toward,
Responsibility 153–155
and choice, 126 Supra-meaning
importance of, 73–75 concept of, 37
taking, 63 Frankl’s attitude to, 36–37, 38
Russell, Bertrand, 73–74, 139 and mental health, 36–39
for nonreligious person, 38–39
“Say yes to life” (Motalis/Guttmann), for religious person, 38
161–162 Survival, jokes and, 118–119
Scheler, Max Swift, Jonathan, 158–159
bearer of values, concept of, 62 Synthesis in life, 93–94
control and guidance, 62 Szondi, Lipot
creative tension, 62 developing theory of fate, 81–83
definition of person, 61 scientific work on fate analysis by,
fate and destiny, 62 83–85
and Frankl, Viktor Emil, 62–63 views on mental picture of human
love of God, 61 beings, 85–86
ordering of love, concept of, 62–63
philosophy of, 61 Takashima, Hiroshi, and functional
spiritual dimension and, 62 dimension, 76–77
Schneur, Zalman, 23 Tension, humor as weapon against, 115
Schopenhauer, Arthur Thankfulness and old age, 18
boredom, emptiness, pain, and suffer- Thus Spoke Zarathustra (Nietzsche), 53
ing, 58–59 Time, shortness of, 7–8
negating own philosophical theory, 57 Tolstoy, Lev, 69, 149–150
negative attitude towards life, 56–57, 58 Too Noisy Silence (Hrabal), 71–72, 150
personality, 59 Trotzdem Ja zum Leben Sagen (Man’s
views on dividing human life, 58 Search for Meaning) (Frankl), 53
views on individual’s character, 59
views on loneliness, 134 Unconscious God: Logotherapy and
views on old-age renunciations, 12 Religion (Frankl), 37
will and idea, central concepts, 57 Unheard Cry for Meaning, The (Frankl), 29
Schweitzer, Albert, 18
Selfish Giant, The (Wilde), 110 Value orientation theory, 97–98
Seneca, Lucius Annaeus Virtuous life, benefit in old age, 16
attitude toward life, 7–8
impact of Cicero on, 7 Way of Man according to the Teachings of
stoicism of, 7 Hasidism, The (Buber), 23
views on happiness, 20 What Isn’t Written in My Books (Frankl),
views on troublesome aging, 10 119
Shakespeare, William Wiesel, Elie, 69–70
intergenerational relationships, 8–9 Will to meaning, 31, 75
life’s meaning concept of, 69 Wolfgang, Goethe, 20
Shalev, Meir, 80 World as I See It, The (Einstein), 22
Sisyphus, myth of, 60
Socrates, 114 Yalom, Irwin, 30
 About the Author

DAVID GUTTMANN is Emeritus Professor and former Dean of the School of

Social Work at the University of Haifa in Israel. An internationally known expert
on logotherapy, and personal friend of the late Viktor E. Frankl—the famed
founder of logotherapy—author Guttmann received the Grand Award for lifetime
achievement in logotherapy from the Viktor Frankl Foundation and the City of
Vienna in 2003. In other roles that helped fuel the issues raised in this book, he
served as Presidential appointee to the White House Conference on Aging, Found-
ing Member of the Southern Gerontological Society of America, Academic Advi-
sor to the Golda Meir International Training Center in Community Development,
and Director at the Center for the Study of Aging at the National Catholic School
of Social Service at Catholic University of America. He has authored, co-authored,
or edited twelve earlier books.

177