Stage 1 English

Task 3 - Comparative Essay |

Is it Dickens or Dahl that creates the best atmosphere of violence?

Roald Dahls Lamb to the Slaughter, and Charles Dickenss Sikes and Nancy both attempt to narrate a
story encompassed in an atmosphere of violence. Of the two, Dickens is more successful in creating
an atmosphere of violence because he portrays violence as the Beast it is, devouring both the Commented [PS1]: V. gd- weave the motif throughout
deserving and the undeserving, whereas Dahls story lacks the blood and gore to effectively engage your essay with variety.
his audience. He achieves this by using an infamously violent setting; Victorian London, targets the
feelings of the reader by using more traditional characters, and uses blood and gore to intensify the
story line and murder itself.

In comparison to the unnerving setting in Sikes and Nancy, Dahls story is set in very normal
circumstances. The characters names, such as Patrick Maloney, suggest Dahls Lamb to the
Slaughter is set in an Irish-American community. The story was written in the early 1950s, around Commented [PS2]: Is- tenses- present tense/active voice
the time when deep freezers were beginning to become popular. It is a very relaxed, familiar throughout for expository essays
scene, the room was warmcurtains closedtwo table lamps were lit, making it very easy for the
reader to visualise and relate to. The other story, Sikes and Nancy, was set in the more daunting
Victorian London. The newly industrialised society was infamous for its criminal gangs, such as the
one led by Fagin the receiver of stolen goods. As well as this, the unfavourable weather[and]
very dark night helps create an atmosphere of fear and mystery. Of the two settings, Sikes and
Nancy is much more intimidating, and effectively sets a tone of violence for the rest of the story. Commented [PS3]: As suggested above, weave your
motif- the beast throughout the essay. This will improve the
polish and articulation of your writing.
Dickenss careful choice of characters makes for a more traditional murder story than Dahls, and
hence better supports the atmosphere of violence in his text. Dahls murderer, Mary Maloney, is a
young, pregnant house wife with a slow smiling air about her. The way she speaks and acts is
emotional and affectionate and makes her deserving of respect and love from others, including the
reader. The victim, Patrick Maloney, is a senior police officer and Marys beloved husband. Although
Mary loves him and his warm male glow, when he tells her he is leaving her, he seems a selfish,
proud man to the reader. There is nothing in the story that justifies Patricks selfish antics, and hence Commented [PS4]: Marys murderous passion erupts like
the reader is inclined to almost support the murderer. the wild rage of an animal and she strikes out with the
frozen lamb.
In contrast, Dickenss characters are more traditional for that in a murder story. The murderer, Bill Use the above example as a way to weave and inter-lay
Sikes, is a constitutional sinner and criminal who robs for a living. He wife labels him as one of the your motif/ extended metaphor throughout your essay.
most desperate of the gang because of his ruthless demeanour. The readers hatred for Sikes is
Commented [PS5]: ?
intensified by his victim, a young woman [named] Nancy. She is clearly a victim of circumstance,
having become ignorantly entangled in in the underworld of Victorian London. She is disloyal to
Sikes in an effort to do something right, and satisfy her conscience. She doesnt deserve to be killed! Commented [PS6]: Avoid contractions in expository
Dickenss character choice targets the emotions of the reader, and emphasises the violence of the essays.
murder by using an undeserving victim. Commented [PS7]: Is there a thread of innocence and
ignorance in the two stories?
Despite some anticipation being built up in Dahls long-winded descriptions of his characters, the
build up to Patricks murder is somewhat elusive and unassertive compared to that in Dickenss text. Motif???
Right up until the murder, the conditions in the house, although tense, are fairly peaceful. When the
Beast suddenly takes control of her emotions, Mary reacts very rashly against Patrick, and hence Commented [PS8]: See above to add variety to the
there is hardly a build-up to the murder. In contrast, the reader can easily foresee a violent ending to expression of your chosen motif?
Sikes and Nancy when Bolter begins to spy on Nancy because she has found some new friends. Commented [PS9]: Impetuously
When Sikes discovers her disloyalty and [dashes] into the silent streets, anticipation builds
Violence takes control of him, and he closes in on the kill. This build up is engaging and easy to
follow, and helps to create a violent atmosphere. Commented [PS10]: it

In both stories, the ruthless influence of the Beast has fatal impact on the characters, however in Commented [PS11]: wild beast of murderous passion
some sense the murder of Patrick and the aftermath from the crime seem almost tame and amusing
to the reader. After he tells Mary he is leaving her, his ungrateful and rude comment For Gods
sakedont make supper for me, seems the last straw for Mary. She instinctively brings the leg of
lamb she is carrying down as hard as she could on the back of his head. He sways back and forth,
and then [crashes] to the carpet, stone dead. After carefully thinking things through and [shoving]
the leg of lamb in the oven, Mary calls the detectives around, claiming Patricks dead. After hours
of fruitless searching, Mary offers the lamb to the lawmen, who proceed to sit down and eat the
meat. As far as the reader knows, Mary gets away with her crime scot-free. The murder of Nancy, in
comparison, is chilling. Sikes arrives home, and grasping her by the head and throat dragged her
out of bed. After beating her twice in the face with his pistol, he struck [the kneeling figure] down
[with a heavy club]. He struck the defenceless girl again, and again, until she lay, dead, in a pool of
gore. He then attempts to get rid of all the evidence and flees the house. As he flees he is haunted Commented [PS12]: The ruthless passion of the wild
by an apparition, a human gravestone with its epitaph in Blood. Suddenly, the authorities are upon animal consumes Sikes.
him. In his frenzy to evade them and the phantom following him, Sikes slips off a roof top and is Commented [PS13]: Haunts him-check all tenses.
killed. Ironically, the deserving has got what he deserved! These distressing scenes are the height of
violence in Dickenss story, and continue to highlight how the Beast destroys both the deserving, Commented [PS14]: Within?
and undeserving.

Charles Dickenss Sikes and Nancy has a better atmosphere of violence because violence is portrayed Commented [PS15]: Dickens portrays
as a Beast, destroying both the deserving and the undeserving, whereas Dahls story, lacking the
blood and gore of the other story, fails to engage its audience. To achieve this, he uses a more Commented [PS16]: Or paint as vivid a picture of bestial
daunting and violent setting, he targets the readers emotions by using more traditional characters, horror???
such as the ruthless murderer Sikes and poor, undeserving victim Nancy, and uses blood and gore to
intensify the events leading up to and resulting from the murder itself. He uses these elements to
create a violent atmosphere that engages the reader, and portrays how the beast, Violence, destroys Commented [PS17]: within
both the deserving and undeserving. Commented [PS18]: 1094 words.

You have a very strong structure.

You make clear and valid points.

Try to polish as shown.

Experiment with variety in the motif/extended metaphor.