Ultimate NLP Home Study Course
Ultimate NLP Home Study Course
Ultimate NLP Home Study Course
REX
SIKES
UNTIMATE
N. L. P.
HOME
STUDY
COURSE
Table of Contents
Welcome
Special Thanks
Contents Of Cassette Tapes 1 - 30
Your Trainer, Rex Steven Sikes
IDEA Seminars, Inc .
Mind Design
The Mastery Loop(tm)
Cross-Crawling - Educational Kinesiology
Cross-Crawl Exercises
What is NLP? The Short Definition
What Is NLP? The Long Definition
The Framework of Neuro Linguistic Programming
Techniques vs. Learning the NLP Methodology
The Shortest UP Seminar In The World
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Perceptual Positions
Diagram Of The Brain
The NLP Model For How The Brain Works
Why Affirmations Don't Work
Why Traditional Visualization Doesn't Work
The Expert Communicator
Responsible Communication
Pattern Interrupts Or Break State
CALIBRATION
Exercise - Calibrate a Friend
Exercise - Calibrate Yes and No
Exercise - Calibrate State Changes
Exercise - Increasing Visual Acuity
Exercise - Increasing Kinesthetic Acuity
Exercise - Increasing Auditory Acuity
Pacing Statement
Calibration and Sensory Specific Information
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Special Thanks
Special thanks to the IDEA Seminars employees and interns for their tireless dedication
and commitment to serving our customers and the contribution of their time, patience,
and love. This program would not be possible without them.
We also want to thank the Macintosh developers for their incredible products, the Canon
Copier people and the island of Jamaica for their fine coffee - for making our lives and
our jobs simpler, more productive, enjoyable and efficient.
And most importantly, thanks to you, our students who chose to join us in lighting up the
world one candle at a time.
Copyright Notice: This manual, artwork and charts were designed and written by Rex
1A
Introduction
How we learn - Flexibility, novelty, and
practice
1B
How we learn continued
Developing and maintaining positive states
The Mastery Loop(tm)
Shortest NLP seminar in the world Outcome, sensory acuity, feedback and
flexibility
2A
The Mastery Loop(tm) and shortest NLP
seminar continued
Questions, voice, and tonality
Cross-crawling
Spreading feelings and the power of laughter
2B
The Mastery Loop(tm) continued
NLP is an attitude - developing positive
attitude
We get what we focus on
People who do well in a program like this
one
3A
People who do well in a program like this
one continued
More on how we learn - anchoring, location,
context
Programming for what you want
Mental review and rehearsal
Keys to effective visualization
Why affirmations don't work
Asking questions to direct the brain
3B
Questions continued
Self directed evolution/development
Presuppositions
Accessing and anchoring delightfully
powerful states/feelings
4A
State Management continued
Using your voice and tonality to elicit
responses
Mastering internal dialogue with
Submodalities
Presuppositions of NLP
Internal cognition, internal state, external
behavior
4B
Logical levels
Choosing beliefs and attitudes
Naturally occurring anchors - state change
Resources - what are resources
Circle of excellence - building resource
states
5A
Circle of excellence continued
Eliciting powerful states/resources,
contextualizing, and future pacing
Exercise - Circle of excellence
Ways to disassociate - different points of
view
6A
Resource triangle continued
Exercise - Resource triangle
Getting unstuck
vocal practice - tonality
7A
Calibration/sensory acuity continued
Exercises - Calibrating states/responses
5B
A taste of Submodalities
Scanning for your very best, amplifying, and
associating fully
Exercise - Good and new
Resource triangle
6B
Rapport
Principles of rapport
Clean open sensory channels
Sensory based vs. non sensory based
description
Exercises - Calibration/sensory acuity
7B
Calibration/sensory acuity continued
8A
Our experience of consciousness - deletion,
distortion, generalization
Matching for rapport
Representational systems distinctions
8B
Representational systems continued
Exercises - Representation systems
Overlapping representational systems
9A
Representational systems
Matching and translating predicates
Exercise - Congruity in representational
systems
Anchoring
Exercise - Anchoring a resource state
9B
Anchoring continued
Exercise - Adding a resource to another
context
Rapport
Exercise - Matching and Mirroring
10A
Rapport continued
Exercise - Pacing and leading physiology
Exercise - Pacing vocal qualities
10B
Rapport continued
Perceptual positions
Exercise - Deep rapport
11A
Rapport and perceptual positions continued
Submodalities
11B
Submodalities continued
Exercise - Contrastive analysis and mapping
across
Designing your experience with
Submodalities
12A
Submodalities and contrastive analysis
continued
Timelines/linear patterns
Exercise - Re-coding an experience
12B
Timelines/linear patterns continued
Multiple timelines
Various ways of relating to, adjusting, and
experiencing
time
13A
Time and timelines continued
Designing and organizing your experience
with timelines
Exercise - Motivation with Submodalities
Future pacing
Swish pattern
13B
Swish pattern continued
Exercise - Swish pattern
Compulsion swish pattern
14A
Compulsion swish pattern continued
Exercise - Compulsion swish pattern
Compulsion blowout and threshold patterns
Phobia cure
Exercise - Phobia cure
14B
Confusion to understanding
Exercise - Confusion to understanding
Structure of Beliefs
15A
Beliefs continued
Exercise - Belief change pattern
Collapsing anchors
Exercise - Collapsing anchors
Visual squash
Exercise - Visual squash
15B
Similarities among techniques
Rapport revisited
Exercise - matching tonality and tempo
Principles of rapport
Peripheral vision to Calibrate movement and
relationship
Exercise - Calibrating with peripheral vision
Rapport at a distance
16A
Structure, function, and utilization of values
Exercise - Values elicitation
Exercise - Pacing values cross-contextually
16B
Values continued
Exercise - Values hierarchy
Structure, function, and utilization of criteria
and rules
17A
Values, criteria, and rules continued
17B
Values, criteria, and rules continued
Placebo and nocebo effect
Values, criteria, and rules in relation to the
Meta-model
18A
Exploring and working with
networks/clusters of beliefs
18B
Networks/clusters of beliefs continued
Cultivating the habits and attitudes that
make your work effective
19A
Blame frame vs. Outcome frame
Well-formed outcomes
19B
Well-formed outcomes
20A
Well formed outcome continued
Exercise - setting well-formed outcomes
Goals vs. Outcomes
20B
Exploring the structure, function, and
utilization beliefs
21 A
Exploring the structure, function, and
utilization beliefs continued
Learning and powerful, elegant use of
Meta/Milton Model patterns
21B
Meta/Milton Model patterns continued
How language functions in the brain
Exercise - Generating Meta/Milton Model
patterns
22A
New behavior generator - a method for
modeling behavior
22B
New behavior generator continued
Exercise - New behavior generator
More on using language patterns to direct
attention and create experiences
Exercise - Pacing and leading statements
23A
Language patterns continued
Learning the principles of directing
23B
Language patterns continued
Exercises - Generating language patterns
24A
Language patterns continued
Practicing to become even more elegant,
refined, and skilled
Keys to effective embedded commands
24B
Language patterns continued
Exercise - Telling stories
25A
Describing, eliciting, amplifying, and
attaching states
Describing and designing states from the
inside out
25B
Describing and designing states from the
inside out continued
Rex's Rules
26A
Describing, eliciting, amplifying, and
attaching states continued
Exercise - Eliciting states with language
26B
Language patterns and state elicitation
continued
More on embedded commands
Importance of language patterns when doing
techniques
27A
Language patterns continued
Universals
Rex's principles for influence
Integrating skills - Making NLP work for
you
27B
Integrating skills - Making NLP work for
you continued
Exercise - Powerful states
Mental attitude
28A
Integrating skills - Making NLP work for
you continued
Time distortion
Future pacing + planning = focusing your
mind
Paying attention to organ language
Programming for success
Using NLP in your life
28B
Using NLP in your life continued
Exercise - Palm reading
Exercise - Hypnotic suggestions
Knowing your purpose
29A
Exercise - Hypnotic language and future
pacing
Integrating - tying it together
Quick relaxation and trance
Handshake interrupt
29B
Trance continued
Review and practice tip
Behavioral complex equalivances
30A
Behavioral complex equalivances
Exercise - Behavioral complex equalivances
Discussion of rapport and modeling
Tip for home practice
30B
Listing resources
Exercise - Anchoring gifts
Prioritizing and respecting others
Re-entering the world
IDEA Seminars was founded by Rex Steven and Carolyn Sikes in 1991 to provide an
opportunity for high quality NLP training for everyone, not only therapists. We have been
successful in teaching people (including therapists) the methodology of NLP, not just
therapeutic techniques, so that our students can immediately apply their new skills to their
work and life.
IDEA is a learning organization, which means that we learn from our participants as well!
Each time we do a program, we get better and better. Our very first practitioner program
bears little resemblance to the program we put on today, because of the wealth of new
learning we get from our students! Our commitment to you and our unrelenting desire to
continually develop new training systems make us the very best and most progressive
place to come for training in Neuro Linguistic Programming.
One of the most unique benefits to training with us is our energetic, fun and invigorating
training environment. Learning that is fun and active, like when we were children, is
quicker and longer lasting than boring, passive learning. Our training system is heavily
customized to each group of participants. There is no pre-written presentation by the
trainers so you will not be subjected to the dry, boring, yawn-inducing talks that occur at
so many courses. To help you learn easily and comfortably, all of our trainers are
hand-picked by Rex Steven Sikes, and all are top experts in their field.
To provide you with the best training available, you will find a number of unique
characteristics of our training program:
1.
You will always have one main trainer presenting the entire course. Guest trainers
and assistants are used, but you will always have one trainer present throughout the
program. One main trainer is important because then he can adjust to group needs.
He will spend more time on one subject, and less on another depending upon the
group's speed.
2.
Throughout the training, you will be involved in various mild physical exercises.
Since the mind and the body are a part of the same cybernetic system, it is very
important to get the body involved in the learning process so that the skills become a
part of your natural behavior. It is also important to get the body involved to facilitate
good energy states conducive to a learning environment.
3.
NLP is about adding more choices, not taking choices away. To this end, you will
experience a critical approach to NLP, rather than a dogmatic, rule-structured
approach. We do not claim to teach truths" or expect you to adhere to the concepts
blindly. Our primary emphasis is developing self-awareness and choice. We teach
you to evaluate the results, and use what is working, rather than accepting a
particular concept as correct" or "the only way".
4.
Mind Design
Mind Design TM is about learning to learn. The classes involve accelerated learning
(Brain-based learning) methods resulting from the culmination of research into learning
conducted by Rex Steven Sikes. All IDEA Seminars' training programs are run through
the Mind
We learn about a city from being there, not from a map or guide book. We learned to
walk and talk without reading instructions or following recipes. I encourage you to JUMP
IN with all your energy and you will learn more. Learning is a doing something, then
getting rid of the unwanted parasitic movements (extra, un-needed movements). Parasitic
movements are reduced through practice and time as your learning streamlines. And have
a lot of fun and laughs while you learn. Keeping a positive state is very important for
absorption.
unconscious into the conscious level of cognition." The key to using our natural capacity
must be to "circumvent the conscious control systems that we erect during our formal
schooling and allow the greater subconscious capacities to be used."
may be there to boost the body's production of neurotransmitters needed for alertness and
memory. Something Dr. Norman Cousins has been saying for years is that laughter is the
best medicine against illness.
Restak, R. The Brain. New York: Warner Books, 1988.
McNamara, R. K. and R. W. Skelton. "The Neuropharmalogical and Neurochemical
Basis of Place Learning in the Morris Water Maze." Brain Research Reviews 18.1 (1993):
33-49 Bandura, A. Social Foundations of Thought and Action: a social cognitive theory.
Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1986
MacLean, Paul. "A Mind of Three Minds: Educating the Triune Brain." 77th Yearbook of
the National Society for the Study of Education. Chicago: University of Chicago Press,
1978.30842
O'Keefe, J., and L. Nadel. The Hippocampus as a Cognitive Map. Oxford: Clarendon
Press, 1978
Hooper J., and D. Teresi. The Three Pound Universe: The Brain from Chemistty of the
Mind to New Frontiers of the Soul. New York: Dell Publishing, 1986.
Dr. Norman Cousins, Anatomy of an Illness.
A student's attitude toward learning is the most important predictor for a successful
learning outcome. If the student considers learning fun and exciting, the outcome will be
positive. Travis Air Force Base did a study of 152 cancer patients and their treatments and
they demonstrated that "attitude toward treatment was a better predictor of response to
treatment than was the severity of the disease."
Mastery of language patterns and positive encouragement are the keys for
successful training. Kotulak and Dr. Lewis Baxter have shown that words can be just as
powerful as prescription drugs - that carefully chosen words can actually engage the
healing system. Kotulak, Ronal. "Unraveling Hidden Mysteries of the Brain." Chicago
Tribune 11-16 April 1993
Learning new things causes you to stay young and live a more healthy life. In his
studies, Jean-Francois Dartigues states that those most likely to remain young and
mentally facile were NOT those who had that highest formal education, but those who
had the most intellectually stimulating careers. In other words -- use your brain or loose it.
In fact, research suggests that those who continue to learn new behaviors, accept
challenges and solve puzzles remain younger and more facile longer than those who don't.
Dartigues, Jean-Francois. "Use It or Lose 17 Omni Feb. 1994:34
Happiness is a left brain function. When you feel good and think positively, it is a left
brain function. (Maybe this is why many people who have over-developed right brains
like artists and creative people are often prone to depression.) Yale researchers, in 1987
(reported by McGuire), demonstrate that when the subject was feeling optimistic about
life, the PET scans of the left hemisphere showed the most activity. The right side of the
brain "lit up" when the subjects felt depressed, negative or stressed. Maguire, J. Care and
Feeding of the Brain. New York: Doubleday, 1990
Human beings learn by making connections amidst confusion. Confusing is a
valuable learning tool. Leslie Hart states that learning is the extraction of meaningful
patterns for the confusion. Hart says that one of the abilities of the neocortex is to detect
patterns and create patterns. Furthermore, the brain recognizes patterns in a gestalt
format, NOT in a digital (1+1=2) format. G. Edelman supports this by saying, "learning
in any species results from the operation of neural linkages between global mappings and
value centers." In other words, we learn by figuring things out, detecting patterns, and
finally - making connections.
Edelman, G. Bright Air, Brilliant Fire, New York: Basic Books, 1992
Hart, Leslie. Human Brain and Human Learning. White Plains, New York: Longman
Publishing, 1983
before an actual activity. This means that most of the time, we act before we think
(consciously). Thus, the environment is the most important area of concern for a
teacher/trainer. Setting up an environment that is conducive for learning rather than a
planned rigid format will allow the students to learn quickly and comfortably.
Pfurtscheller, G. and A. Berghold. "Patterns of Cortical Activation During Planning of
Voluntary Movement." Electroencephalography and Clinical Neurophysiology. 72
(1989): 250-58.
Searching for reasons is not the best way to produce the results you want. Michael
Gazzagnia asserts that there is literally a "reason center" of the brain and it's job is just to
come up with reasons for things. The reasons it produces are not necessarily accurate, it is
a part of the brain function.
Genius
Fuse
Enact
Drill
Clear
Bewillderment
Approach
On-Going
Feedback
Circuit
Exercise 2
Reaching behind the body, alternatively touch each hand to the opposite heel.
results. They asked "can we determine what processes occur inside the brain that allow
these people great successes and can we teach those processes to others so that they too
can get the same kind of consistent results?" The answer is decidedly "yes". They asked a
question which leads to excellence. "What is it that these people do inside their head that
gets them excellent outcomes?". This is a very different question than those asked by
most academic theoreticians and most practicing therapists -- "What's wrong?" and "How
can I fix it?".
Instead of asking what is wrong, or at what time in a persons life did something go
wrong, they asked "what is right?". They created NLP based on modeling what works people who got over phobias - not by studying the people who had them. In NLP, we use
formulas for success -- models and not theories. A theory is an explanation a person gives
as to why something is the case. A model, like a model car or steam engine, either
works or it doesn't. A model is evaluated by its usefulness whereas a theory is evaluated
by its reasonableness. This difference in research orientation and practitioner orientation
still exists today. Unfortunately, most professionals still look for problems and theories.
Instead, an NLP Practitioner looks for solutions and what can be done.
How To Use Your Brain On Purpose
You and I use our brain and we communicate to others everyday. Neuro Linguistic
Programming is the science and art of how we use our brain to communicate with
ourselves and with other people.
Neuro means our neurology, our nervous systems, and our ability to take in information
through our five senses and translate that into usable information within our nervous
system.
Linguistic refers to the verbal and nonverbal language we use to communicate with
ourselves as well as others.
Programming comes from computer terminology. It means that just as we can reliably
program a computer to engage in tasks or computing behaviors which we want, so we can
use the computer between our ears to program in behaviors we want more of and
eliminate those behaviors which stand in our way.
So NLP is the science of using your brain, your language and your behavior to get what
you want. NLP is like a new way of looking at learning; an education process that makes
available to you infinite possibilities for learning and changing. Basically, it's developing
new ways to teach people how to use their brain deliberately and on purpose.
Since the introduction of NLP twenty years ago we have seen heard and felt the influence
all around us. NLP has improved our health by providing us with ways to change our
beliefs about ourselves. NLP has changed how we sold things by learning how prospects
make decisions, creating instant rapport and using persuasive language. NLP has seeped
into our advertising, our government, our political campaigns, our self help books tapes
and seminars, our computer programs, our schools, even our religions. It is everywhere.
NLP is the study of subjective experience.
NLP is the study of how our experience is made and what our experience is made up of.
Science tells us our experience is determined from our five sense. And Neuro Linguistic
Programming tells us "it is how we use those senses, and in what order". Just as we string
letters of the alphabet together to make words, and we string words together to make
sentences and sentences together to make paragraphs -- we string our mental pictures,
sounds and feeling together to make a moment and we string those together to make an
event and those events together to make up our life story. And then we look at, talk about
or feel those moments in very specific ways. The way in which we string things together
and the connections that we make, is the cause for our talents and our limitations. This
process of creating our reality is what we call making our personal map or model of the
world. Each of us has a different way of interacting with the world and therefor a different
map or world view. In other words, at the neurological level we shape what we think the
world is like and we act from what we have created.
Premature Cognitive Commitment
In psychology, there is the concept called Premature Cognitive Commitment. What this
means is that we operate out of automatic, habitual behaviors -- cognitive structures that
we've developed by learning and growing. The way that you test this is that you get a big,
five-gallon jar, and you put in a bunch of flies. And then you put plastic wrap over the
top. There will be enough air in it for the flies to live if you leave it there for about
forty-eight hours. These flies will continue to buzz around and they'll bang up against the
plastic wrap, and they will make cognitive commitments about their environment. Two
days later, when you take off the plastic wrap, ninety-nine percent of the flies will stay in
the jar because they've made cognitive commitments about their abilities and the
environment in which they live.
This very same thing is what we tend to do. What this teaches us is that we have made
estimates about what we can and cannot do based on our life experience. Moreover, we
make those estimates based on what we have paid attention to. At first, those flies paid
attention to the plastic wrap. They made judgments about their abilities when the plastic
wrap was in place and continued to act from those judgments even when the plastic wrap
was no longer there. The flies created a "map of their reality. Even when the real world
contradicted their map of reality, the flies continued to behave in the old way. They failed
to notice that their world changed because of their premature cognitive commitments.
As humans, these premature cognitive commitments form our beliefs and values about
the world. They were created accidentally while growing up through life experiences and
the input of those around us -- parents, teachers and friends. While these beliefs and
values may have been useful at one time -- just as it was once true there was plastic wrap
on the jar for the flies -- they may no longer be true today. Yet we continue to act as if
they are.
We are products of our personal map of the world. NLP states that our talents or
limitations exist more on the inner world than the outer world. NLP says that just as we
have learned to be a certain way accidentally, we can deliberately learn to control our
brain to learn to be different.
A lot of people think that we stop the ability to learn at a very young age. To the contrary,
think of all the futile things you have learned, let alone all the worthwhile things, within
the last year... Humans have an amazing ability to learn. Science now claims that when
we engage our whole being in the task of learning, (meaning when we acquire behavioral
skills and abilities, instead of just acquiring information, facts and statistics), we grow
new neural pathways. That means we can promote our mental health and sharpness into
old age by continuing to engage in activities that promote learning. We are learning
machines and we can learn to feel happy all of the time just as we have learned to have
problems.
An excellent example is the person with a phobia. When a person has a phobia it is
reliable -they don't have it one day and not the next. For example, a person with an
elevator phobia will feel fearful even with the thought of going in an elevator. He doesn't
forget it and find himself on the fifth floor before realizing he is phobic. He simply avoids
elevators and will construct his life around staying out of them. Now contrary to popular
belief, this person is not broken and in need of a fix. He works perfectly. His phobia is
reliable. People will repeat their limiting behavior over and over again perfectly even
though they wish they didnt. It is automatic. This is why the procrastinator never
considers postponing their procrastination.
NLP maintains that our limitations are skills. Rather than fix the person, imagine if you
could learn to have wonderful feelings and new behaviors as thoroughly and reliably as
the phobic or the procrastinator. Imagine if wonderful feelings could operate as
automatically as the phobic responds. If you begin to think about any problem as a
learned skill rather than something to be fixed a whole new world of possibilities opens
up.
For example, what if you used procrastination to put off feeling bad when you didnt get
that job or pay raise you wanted. What if you delayed eating that donut? What if you just
never got around to it? These examples serve to illustrate how procrastination is a potent
mechanism when applied differently, it becomes a useful skill. The key is in learning to
break up the automated pattern and re-direct the brain in new ways.
We create our experience by the specific ways we delete, distort and generalize
information which we take in though our five senses. Our experience is determined by
what we pay attention to - by what we see, hear and feel. What we see, hear, feel, taste
and smell is represented internally through mental pictures (visualization), internal voices
and sounds (self talk) and feelings. We literally create our own reality or map of the
world. This is how it is possible for one person to feel terrorized by a simple thing like
meeting new people while another person will be excited and energized by it.
Think of it this way - we input information into a computer so that it will perform tasks
and bring us the results we want. The computer is preexisting. The hardware is already
there. We use software so that we can accomplish those tasks. The results are only as
good as the quality of the software or hardware. So we need to be sure we have good
software, good programs that run reliably. Then we sit at the computer and key in the
data, it goes to the central processing unit were it is converted into computer language 1
and 0. We tell the computer in our language what we want it to do and it translates it into
an operating language to carry out the functions. You are probably familiar with the
concept of GIGO -garbage in / garbage out. If we key in garbage or faulty data we will get
poor results. On the other hand if we key in the correct data we get correct results. So it is
up to us to be sure we provide it with the correct data.
In the same way, our neurology is the hardware we entered the world with. Our learning
experiences in growing up constitute the software. The difference between the "software"
of our brain and that of the computer is that we came by ours accidentally. We didnt
have a programmer or an owner's manual (unfortunately, our brains didnt come with
one) so the programs we run are mostly a matter of luck or chance.
But guess what? Everything we learned to do served some useful purpose at some time. It
enabled us to continue to grow and live and to succeed! The only difficulty is that the
software is an early version and there have been major advances in the world. Most of our
software hasn't been brought up to date! If you have ever tried to run old software on a
computer you know how difficult that can be. In the same way, our early learning
experiences provided for us a foundation in life but they are now outdated and need to be
brought up to date.
Who's In The Driver's Seat?
We take in information though our five senses and then translate that into internal images,
sounds and feelings. Just as the flies acted from their map of the world, we act from the
one we create inside our head. We look at what we think we can or cant do, we tell
ourselves both good and bad things and we have feelings about how things are. Our
feelings are actually composed of the pictures and sounds we make. Think about it this
way -- if you make a really horrible picture or tell yourself really horrible things, how do
you feel? And do you feel differently when you look at or tell yourself truly wonderful
things? Most people have never been able to get hold of their feelings because they have
never gotten hold of the things that create them in the first place. I will say that again
because it is important! Most people have never been able to get hold of their feelings
because they have never gotten hold of the things that create them in the first place. Most
therapy doesn't work because they focus on the feelings rather than what creates them.
Your brain acts like a massive storage system. It continues to collect data and sort it
however it was pre-programmed to do. If you don't program it to generate the kinds of
things that you want, it will continue to run on automatic. For example, how often are you
not able to sleep at night because you keep re-living an especially joyful experience?
Seldom I bet. Instead, your brain decides to show you vivid re-runs of the bad day youve
had. Or you think about bad things that happened a long time ago. Or you go over and
over conversations you had with people.
People often let their imagination run wild when they are planning. What happens is that
when the event actually takes place, they get disappointed! Richard Bandler, one of the
developers of NLP, says, "Disappointment requires adequate planning". Did you
ever think about how much trouble you have to go though to be disappointed? How about
planning to feel absolutely wonderful and delighted when something doesn't go according
to your plans?
People have become prisoners of their own brains, as if they are chained to the last seat
of a bus and someone else is driving it. Wouldn't it be helpful to learn how to drive your
own bus?" says Bandler. It's time to put yourself in the drivers seat and know the
direction you are traveling. NLP is a scientific and reliable method for getting control of
the computer between your ears and thereby your life. Learning NLP means you can learn
to change your own experience and get some control over what happens in your brain
otherwise it will run randomly on its own ... or other people will run it for you and they
may not have your best interests at heart.
NLP - Software For The Human Mind
NLP is often referred to as the software for the human brain because it focuses on
process. An NLP practitioner does not ask why do you have a problem (that is the domain
of those academicians). Rather, an NLP practitioner will ask and seek to find out how do
you have that problem.
Knowing how we are having a feeling, how we accomplish a difficult situation with ease,
how we operate within the world will give us useful information with which we can make
the changes we want and have more of the enjoyable things that we desire. In the same
way NLP practitioners do not need to know why it is a chocolate cake, instead they want
to know what ingredients to put in and the step by step order to make it come out right. A
skilled practitioner knows that there are many ways to make a cake and has many handy
tools to assist them in making it. They also want to know how to take a chocolate cake
and work backwards to the ingredients in case someone has a secret recipe.
When it comes to creating our reality, it is the sequence or order that we pay attention to
things through our senses -- the pictures, sounds and feelings and how those are
constructed. Think of your television or radio. You have different buttons which control
different functions. You have brightness, color, black and white, loudness, stereo or
mono, buttons which you use to control what something looks like or sounds like. You
can control your brain in the same fashion.
People operate from their personal map of the world. This map is an internal construct
made up of pictures, sounds and feelings. We formed this map during our lives
accidentally and we have made premature cognitive commitments which shape our
present day reality. These cognitive commitments form the basis for the programs we run.
NLP is the software for the human mind. Using NLP concepts and principles you can
begin to bring your brain under your control and have more of the kinds of feelings and
thoughts that you enjoy. You can learn to train your brain to get it to give you more and
more of what you truly want and deserve.
If we don't program our brains, they will run on and on, they do what they were
accidentally preprogrammed to do. If we don't gain control of our own brain, we are
subject to those around us who know how to influence us. Therefore it is crucial to learn
to program your brain.
NLP is not a model of repair ... it is a model of acquisition ... a generative model.
2.
The techniques of NLP are not NLP. The techniques are a product of the modeling
process. NLP is a method of modeling.
3.
Modeling is a process of acquiring skill. All skills are systematic, patterned and rule
structured - therefore, they can be modeled and duplicated. However, modeling does
not result in achieving the whole life experience of another person.
4.
People are not broken, they work perfectly. They do not need to be fixed.
5.
6.
People make the best choices given their resources available to them.
7.
8.
The map is not the territory. Our perception of reality is not reality itself. We do not
operate directly on our world, but rather through our perceptual map of the world.
NLP is a model of the mapping processes.
9.
The positive self worth of the individual is held constant. A distinction is made
between Self, intention and the behavior an individual engages in.
10.
Behavioral Flexibility: The person with the most behavioral flexibility in a given
interaction will control the outcome.
11.
12.
Failure equals feedback. There are no mistakes, only results. Without failure and
mistakes, learning would be impossible.
13.
14.
The mind and body are pad of-the same cybernetic system.
15.
16.
Behavioral flexibility results in more choices. More choices is better than limited
choices.
17.
Every behavior has a positive intention (for the person doing the behavior).
Outcome
2.
Sensory Acuity/Feedback
3.
Flexibility
4.
Action
Perceptual Positions
1st Position
Looking at the world from your own point of view. You are completely associated, seeing
through your own eyes, hearing through your own ears, feeling what you are feeling.
2nd Position
Consider how the world would look, sound and feel from another persons point of view.
Step into their reality and associate into them, seeing through their eyes and hearing what
they are hearing, and feeling what they feeling.
3rd Position
As if you are a completely independent observer, someone with no personal involvement,
you can watch the world from this position. In third position, you are disassociated in the
sense that you are seeing yourself and/or others, but you can be associated into a
resourceful state while observing.
EXTERNAL
EVENTS
INTERNAL
PROCESSING
V Sights
Conscious Filters
Memories
Decisions
Attitudes
A Sounds
K Feelings
temperature
pressure
texture
O Smell
G Taste
External Behavior
INTERNAL
REPRESENTATIONS
VAKOG
(Internal Process)
Internal State
Physiology
Memories: "Oh, I have heard that before and then the restaurant turned out to be
mediocre at best."
Attitudes: "New experiences are good. It's fun to do new things."
Values: "You know, enjoying delicious food is important to leading a happy life. It is
also important to try out new experiences. It makes life exciting. It is good to have
excitement."
Distortion: "if I eat too much good food, I'll get fat, and if I get fat, I won't be able to
make friends, and if I cant make friends, I'll live a miserable life and die lonely and
alone."
Deletion: Finest restaurant in the city, sure, but what about the price? Im sure it will
cost us an arm and a leg. Why doesn't the ad say anything about the prices?"
Generalization: "You know, I just don't trust any of these advertisements. They're all
alike. They lie just to get you to buy something."
What finally comes out is: "Let's go and have fun. If it turns out to be bad food and the
advertisement lied, well, at least we have had a little fun. First, let's call and ask about the
prices and let's see if they have an low-calorie items."
Why Affirmations Don't Work And How You Can Replace Them To Get The
Results You Want
The way you feel and what you experience comes from where you focus your attention
and determines how you are going to behave. Successful people know that you must
control not only what you focus on but how you focus . They have learned to take control
of their emotions and run their own brain -- that means taking control of what you are
picturing in your mind and how you are picturing it, what you are saying to your self and
how you are saying it. When you get control over these things, this will allow you to
determine how you feel.
When you focus, you limit your attention. If you are not focused on success you will miss
all the opportunities success brings. In life, we get what we focus on.
Remember this: What you focus on, you get.
People who do affirmations are wasting their time because they are actually setting up
internal conflicts that cause them to activate the opposite of what they want! When people
look into the mirror and say, in every day and in every way, I am getting better and
better, a part of their mind comes back and says, "bull!" Doesn't it? It is just like if I told
you that you have a blue shirt on when you actually have a red one on! I say, "nice blue
shirt" and you say, "it's not blue, it's red." Then I say, "it's blue", and you say "no, it's red"
... we could go on like this forever... which is exactly what happens for most people when
they do affirmations.
Instead of engaging yourself in this confrontive struggle with yourself, you could begin to
ask yourself questions instead. Questions will always get you an answer. Questions
change what you focus on. They get you to focus on either what is good about you, your
environment or your behavior or what is bad about you, your environment, or your
behavior. An affirmation in the form of a question is 300 or 400 times more effective and
will literally train your brain to translate the affirmations into your behavior.
Why Questions are More Powerful than Affirmations
Brains learn quickly to move in directions. Questions direct the mind. They divide
experience and lead our attention. Questions demand an answer. And since it is a question
which our brain may not know the answer to yet, it will search to give us an answer. If,
when we ask the question, we include more of what we want in our life, our brain will
search to provide us with those things which we included in our question and the answer.
Asking yourself questions is one of the greatest things you can learn for yourself.
Questions set your reality. Think about it. If I say, what did you do on Friday?" Where
does your mind go? It goes to look for an answer. If I say how old are you?" You know
the answer. If I say, "what did you do last summer?, "What is your occupation?", "Who
was your best friend when you were a child?"... You are causing your mind to come up
with an answer.
Sometimes you won't have the answer right away. Sometimes you may have to ask
another question like, "gee, who was it?" You are sending your mind in a direction.
According to anthropologists, people are "meaning makers. In other words, people will
ask themselves "what does this mean to me?", "what is in it for me?", or "what should I
do?" It is the questions we ask ourselves that create meaning for ourselves. And you have
a choice as to what exactly those questions are going to be. Are you going to ask yourself
questions that get you bad results, like "how come Im so stupid?" or are you going to ask
yourself questions that get you good results like "how soon will I begin to realize how
wonderful I am?"
The kinds of things you ask yourself are critical. If you say "gee, how come I am so
stupid?", your brain goes "because when you were a child you didnt eat Wheaties, you
didnt have corn flakes, you didnt grow up right and it was your parents fault." Or
because "you are a slow learner" -- because someone told you that when you were a child.
Or because "you aren't disciplined enough", or "you have great potential but you'll never
really amount to anything"...
Whatever it might be, when you say "how come Im like this?", your brain will answer
and it will come up with a reason no matter how logical or illogical it is. The number one
thing in our culture, bar none is that when someone in our culture says "why" someone
says because".
When you say to yourself, "I don't understand this" or "I don't get it" you are reinforcing
anything that you do not understand yet. You are making it much tougher on yourself.
You are impeding your learning. On the other hand, if you say, "I wonder how soon
before this begins to make sense? I wonder how quickly before I am going to be delighted
in discovering what is new about this? I wonder how soon before I delight and amaze
myself?" you begin to send your brain in the direction that is useful for you.
As you ask yourself those questions, your brain may not come up with the quick
"because" answer because you are posing a question to yourself that you don't yet know
the answer to. Wouldn't it be a lot more fun finding out? Wouldn't it be a lot more
interesting to think "gee, I wonder how exquisitely talented I can become? I wonder how I
can use language to do things that I never yet before considered possible? I wonder who I
am going to find that presents a challenge and I wonder how I am going to delight and
amaze myself in overcoming that challenge and doing that in ways that I never before
thought possible?" Does that sound like a more useful way to begin looking at the world?
... a more useful way, a way that brings you more delight, more pleasure and speeds up
the amount of time in which you learn anything?
We have told ourselves a lot of things in our lives. A lot of them aren't even true. In Mind
Design, what we want to do is get your whole mind, your whole brain, your whole being
moving in a direction that as you move in that direction you pick up the kind of things
you want to be doing. You pick up the skills you want to have. You practice, you use
them, and you find out how they contribute to your being, how you contribute to others,
how you move through the world with these win/win outcomes and make your life and
the lives of those around you a lot more fun!
During the Mind Design program, you are going to learn a way to ask yourself the kind of
questions that get you the results you want. To be truly successful, fulfilled and secure,
you must make a habit of asking the kinds of questions that give you power, drive and
energy. For now, I want you to commit to making a change for yourself, commit to your
goals and commit to asking yourself a new set of questions. By doing this, you will be
able to succeed in your goals beyond your wildest expectations.
You are already asking yourself questions every moment of the day. If you say yes, Rex,
That's true" or "no Rex that is not true the only way you could answer that is by
having asked yourself a question! For at least the next 21 days, I want you to ask yourself
a different set of questions first thing every morning, before going to bed and any moment
you can throughout the day, You will want to write them down, carry them with you, pin
them up where you will see them and be reminded to ask. Remember what you do now
determines the quality of your future. The quality of your life depends on the quality of
the questions you ask.
Some Sample Questions
How come I am so lucky?
Why am I so wonderful?
What new wonderful things will I discover?
How can I become thinner and enjoy the process?
I wonder in how many ways I can become better and better?
I wonder how quickly I can achieve my ideal weight?
Which sensation in my body feels the very best right now?
How quickly will I begin to team these new skills?
How naturally and easily will I begin to pay attention to pleasant feelings?
How soon will I begin to notice with delight how happy I can become?
Using Questions With Others To Be More Persuasive
In the same way that you ask yourself questions that direct your mind, you can use
questions to direct the mind of your customers an clients. The mind is easily programmed
and lead to make decisions within the options that are given.
Would you like to order your dessert now or when you have your coffee?
Is this cash or charge?
When customers are asked would you like a large or small coke?" most take a small.
However when asked, "would you like a large one?" most take a large.
Do you realize how excited it is going to be when you take this vacation?
How quickly can we finish our meeting?
In how many different ways are you going to enjoy this house?
Why Traditional Visualization Doesn't Work And How You Can Modify It
To Get The Results You Want
Now that you can ask yourself new questions, you also want to get your visualizations in
order. I am sure you have heard of visualization. This is where people tell you to visualize
your goals, dreams, plans, or how you want things to be. Usually people make still-frame
pictures in their head of the goal being accomplished, e.g. depositing money in the bank,
or their kids all grown up and successful. What makes Mind Design different from
visualization is that we have created three steps in creating visualizations. Without these
three steps, visualizations just don't work well at all and you'll just be wasting your time.
Three Important Steps For Effective Visualizations
1.
2.
Make a movie of how you achieved the goal. What steps did you take to achieve your
success? Visualize the steps in detail. Visualize yourself doing all the right things to
get your outcome, and visualize everything going perfectly. Example: Salesperson
making more calls and customers responding by being pleasant and purchasing
items.
3.
Build a contingency plan. Visualize yourself taking all the steps toward your goal and
visualize everything going wrong and how you overcame the difficulty. Example:
Salesperson making more calls and customers do not respond. Visualize what the
salesperson did to get customer to respond more favorably.
Besides only making pictures of the goal being attained (Step 1), you make a movie of
how you get the goal (Step 2). For example a salesperson wants to make more sales and
money. Instead of just visualizing depositing more money in the bank, a Mind Design TM
salesperson visualizes the actual steps they took to make more sales. (2) The salesperson
visualizes them doing all the right things and people responding in all the right ways to
increase their sales and their money. But the Mind Design TM salesperson also does
something which is the most crucial; THE THIRD STEP... This person visualizes a
movie of all the possible obstacles and how they got over all of them.
Ordinarily, this third step is what people do to program their mind for failure because they
imagine everything going wrong, but not what they did to overcome it. Using this
method, you program your mind for how to overcome adversity along the way if you
encounter it. When you learn how to run your brain then a world of endless possibility
and opportunity becomes available. Unfortunately, for most people, it is left to chance
and that is why success is usually a matter of luck.
I want to teach you the science and the art of making your dreams come true. The science
because it is actually steps that you can implement, recipes, formulas proven through time
to work for you and the art because your creativity with the science will enable you to
realize your dreams and design for yourself the kind of life you truly want and deserve.
Your brain can give you everything you want when you give it a clear bright focused
image of what you want and how you are planning to go about getting it. If you don't
know what you want your brain cant give it to you. But when you know what you want,
and you send precise, direct and intense signals, your mind has the power to give you
what you want. You cant reach your goals if you don't know what they are. Results are
inevitable. It your don't provide your brain with the programming to get your results, your
goals you desire someone else will provide the programming. If you don't have a program
for your life someone else is going to make you fit into their plan.
2.
3.
1.
Words 7%
2.
3.
This means that up to 93% of the communication process is not the words we use!
Therefore, it takes more than just words to express ourselves, gain Rapport and change
attitudes.
The Mind Reader
A major problem in communication is when someone "mind reads" the intent or internal
state (feelings or thoughts) of another individual. This is one of the most dangerous forms
of disrespect because the person doing the mind reading rarely understands what they are
engaged in doing. The mind reader usually believes his perceptions to be accurate.
Mind reading is claiming to know the feelings, thoughts, or intentions of other people
based on their use of words, behavior and/or nonverbal expressions. See chart. It can be
as simple as noticing someone walking unusually fast and making the comment: Jackie
seems really upset today."
In NLP, we attempt to become more precise and accurate in our communication by
realizing that claiming to know what is going on inside another individual is not the way
to produce better results in communicating with that person.
Self
Other
IS
IPIP
IP
IS
IP
IS = Internal State
EB
IP = Internal Process
EB = External Behavior
communicating in our culture, most people are not aware that they do it. Some people
even Mind Read others inside their head without even verbalizing it. In this case, it
usually comes out in their behavior. Mind Reading becomes the trigger for arguments
between couples and friends, the basis for misinterpretation in the communication
process, and various other problems that can be avoided.
In Mind Design TM training, we continually stress the importance of learning how NOT
to Mind Read because it can be such a destructive pattern. However, like any pattern,
there is usefulness and non-usefulness. For example, Mind Reading can be a very
effective way to pace a person into a trance. We will cover this later. For now, continue to
catch yourself and stop when you find yourself engaged in Mind Reading!
Some examples of destructive but common Mind Reading patterns
I know....
I know that you are mad at me.
I know what that look means.
I know that when you do that, you don't care about me.
When he talks to me in that tone of voice, I know it means trouble.
Susan is really cranky today.
Don't bother him today, he's in a bad mood.
What's wrong with you? I think that they are not getting along very well, because... Is
something bothering you? Oh-oh, it's that time of the month again. I know that he
intentionally did it to hurt me. She is very nervous sifting in front of everyone. He has a
hard time relaxing. She obviously was not enjoying herself.
Characteristics of the Expert Communicator
1.
The ability to identify and achieve desired outcomes in communicating with others.
This requires setting Well Formed Outcomes for the communication process.
2.
The ability to see and hear accurately by using clean sensory apparatus to notice
verbal and nonverbal communication elements.
3.
The ability to utilize one's own verbal and nonverbal behavior to develop Rapport and
deliver precise messages.
4.
Responsible Communication
There are no mistakes in communication, only feedback. The idea is to learn to become
flexible so that you can communicate to a wider variety of people. To be flexible means
to use your body as an instrument to create harmony with others.
The Platinum Rule:
Do onto others as they prefer to be done onto. Instead of the golden rule: Do onto others as you
would prefer to be done onto.
Expert Communicators seem to have the ability to adjust their communication so that it's
appropriate for whom they are communicating with -- being able to adopt the logic, body
posture, and facial expressions of the other person. Flexibility in your behavior is what
allows you to elicit a wide range of responses from the people with whom you are
communicating.
All communication produces a response. The question is: are you getting the response
that you want? If not, that means that your clients and friends are also stuck in their ways.
But on the other hand, if you notice that what you are doing is not working and
immediately change your behavior in some way -- your voice tone, what you talk about,
your syntax, your body movements -- your clients and friends will respond accordingly.
Learn to match communication to establish Rapport; and also learn to mismatch, because
if you don't have a choice, you are a robot. Expert Communicators notice what result
they're getting and will alter their behavior to get the best result. Other people will judge
themselves and others. Experience is not good or bad, not right or wrong. It just is.
The Law of Requisite Variety
Every voice tone, every syntax, everything you say is a set of choices. And the first thing
that will give you effectiveness is to understand the Law of Requisite Variety which says
the following: If you have more flexibility - a wide range of variability in your behavior you will be able to elicit a wide range of variability in your clients and in all the people in
the world around you.
Responsible communication is where you notice what response you are getting and
adjust your own behavior accordingly.
A Pattern Interrupt or a Break State is anything that disturbs the flow of conversation or
activity.
Pattern Interrupts occur all the time. In the middle of a conversation someone enters
your office, the phone rings or your child screams and it interrupts where you were, often
creating amnesia. While these can be annoying or stressful in daily life, if you use them
deliberately in your practice of NLP, they can be valuable and useful. Have you ever said
anything you regretted and wished you could take back? A pattern interrupt can help you
recover the foot that was in your mouth!
Pattern Interrupts are most effective if you use them just as the trouble or problem begins.
Something in the other persons body language, voice tone, or facial expression flashes
by, signaling trouble on the horizon. At that point, a pattern interrupt can be used to stop
the trouble before it starts. By breaking the flow in the behavior or conversation, you may
rescue it before it turns sour.
Pattern Interrupts include - coughing, sneezing, dropping something, swatting a bug,
exclaiming, loud noise, - what else can you think of.
A Break State, or accessing a neutral state can be used to help the person you are
working with distinguish between two states. After eliciting a particular state for an
exercise or session, use a break state before eliciting the second state. This functions to
separate the states so that you do not inadvertently "chain" the states together. "Chaining"
means anchoring the second state to come up every time the person goes into the first
state.
Break States can include - asking person to look at something (floor, chair, sky, lamp,
etc.), asking person to "shake it off", asking person, "what did you have for breakfast",
ask person to "reorient to the present time or to the room", asking person to stand up or sit
down, etc.
CALIBRATION
Calibration is a means to measure and utilize the obvious outer behavioral changes of an
individual as their internal thinking and feeling state changes. What is happening on the
inside is reflected in the behavior on the outside. You can calibrate like/dislike,
agreement/disagreement, or yes/no. You can use this information for a variety of uses.
The three major areas to pay attention to while calibrating are
Body position - upper body, posture, arms and legs, head tilt, gestures, distance
Breathing Rate - fast/ slow/even
Breathing Position - high/ low/ middle
Facial Expressions - skin color, muscle tone, eye movements, mouth, lips
Exercise - Calibrate a Friend
Observe a friend or loved ones body language when you know that they are in one
particular state (happy, sad, frustrated) and remember what you see (take a mental snap
shot or video). Later, when you see the same "snap shot", most likely you are seeing the
same internal state. Do NOT attach a meaning to the "body language" (Mind Reading)
you are simply observing behavior.
Exercise - Calibrate Yes and No
The purpose of this exercise is to help the Practitioner discover the nonverbal signals
which accompany yes and no responses.
1.
Practitioner asks subject 10 questions that will get a "yes" response. Examples: Do
you live in the United States? Are you a man (woman)? Practitioner identifies
sensory cues for "yes" response. Examples: Eye blink, head tilt, skin color change,
eye movement, muscle tone.
2.
Practitioner asks subject 10 questions that will get a "no" response. Examples: Do
you have four legs? Do you have green hair? Practitioner identifies sensory cues for
"no".
3.
Once the Practitioner identifies those sensory distinctions for both yes" and "no,
Practitioner asks questions for which they don't know the true answer and
Practitioner pays attention to the sensory distinctions for the response. Practitioner
should be able to discern or predict the yes and the "no answers.
4.
After completing a successful round -- switch or rotate. Observers spend their time
calibrating as well.
Purpose: to pay attention to minimal cues, increase sensory acuity and practice using
sensory based language.
1.
Subject chooses three different intense memories. (Not traumatic ones!) Subject goes
back into each one (one at a time). Use "code" numbers, colors or letters to identify
each state. When the subject gets the memory intensely the subject nods head to let
Practitioner and observers know subject is in the experience vividly. Break state
between each experience.
2.
Practitioner and Observers build a sensory based description for each state. Subject
then goes through each memory experience again and Practitioner describes without
any judgments but in sensory based language what is observable with each state.
When completed Subject picks out one of the states without telling the others what it
is and Practitioner and Observer attempt to identify which "code" number, color or
letter it is from the calibrations they made before. Repeat until there are three
successes in a row and then rotate.
Subject sits in chair with eyes closed while Practitioner and Observer stand in front
of subject.
2.
Practitioner makes a sound (snaps fingers, claps hands) in front of Subject and says
5.
Rotate.
Note: Make the Kinesthetic and Auditory Calibration exercises more challenging to the
subject. When the subject completes a round of 4 or 5 successful calibrations, begin to
make the exercise more challenging by trying to match the sounds or touches more
closely.
Another variation is to have the Practitioner and Observer make matching sounds from
the same location and have the subject identify who is making the sounds. The purpose to
have practice in noticing auditory distinctions and to experiment with different auditory
modalities (volume, tone, pitch etc.)
The easiest and most reliable way to calibrate is to use a Pacing Statement. A Pacing
Statement is an undeniably true statement of observation which you know to be true. For
example, upon observing Canon Copiers in a client's office, a salesperson says, "So you
use Canon copiers in your office?". This way you can calibrate the "yes" signals. To
calibrate "no signals, you can then ask them a question you know to be untrue, or one
they would disagree with and observe their behavior. For example, knowing your
prospect's name is Mary, you say, Your name is Margaret, right?".
A great way to break the ice in any encounter is to make at least one pacing statement.
They usually work best if you comment on something that directly impacts the individual.
Pacing Statements are ice breakers and help to assist in the development of rapport - and
they are easy ways to begin calibration. A pacing statement rather than a question does
not require the other person to respond verbally, although they usually will. If you do use
a question, use an open ended question which cant be answered with a quick yes or no.
Pacing Statements are great to use with everyone - especially in sales where you need to
get past certain people to get to the decision makers. This approach works because you
are not asking anyone to do anything - you are simply making a positive and often
complimentary statement to the person. You are implicitly telling the other person "I am
interested in you". Whether verbal or nonverbal - the customer sets the pace - you follow.
Don't move to your agenda until the customer is ready.
Practice pacing statements everywhere in your life - restaurants, malls, service stations
etc. You'll get better results and people will remember you for your interest and rapport.
Sample Pacing Statements
During a sales call:
So we are sifting here and we are discussing your purchasing a new car...
There are certain things about owning a new car that are important to you....
We've had the opportunity to take a look at your needs .....
And we've discussed all the features that you want ...
So, youve had the opportunity to test drive the car ....
To initiate a trance:
We are sifting here together...
You are listening to the sound of my voice...
As you breath in and out...
You can feel the weight of your body on the chair...
And you can begin to notice certain things....
Other:
I see that you are wearing jeans today...
So, you played with your friends after school today...
Now that you have finished your meal....
Subject chooses three different intense memories. (Not traumatic ones!) Subject goes
back into each one (one at a time). When the subject gets the memory intensely the
subject nods head to let Practitioner and observers know subject is in the experience
vividly. Break state between each experience.
2.
Practitioner and Observers build a sensory based description for each state. Subject
then goes through each memory experience again and Practitioner describes without
any judgments but in sensory based language what is observable with each state.
When completed Subject picks out one of the states without telling the others what it
is and Practitioner and Observer attempt to identify which memory it is from the
calibrations they made before. Repeat until there are three successes in a row and
then rotate.
Subject
Watches eye movement, particularly sequence of movements, muscle tone around
the eyes, blink rate, pupil size and glossiness.
Watches body posture, breath placement, breathing rate, depth of breath
Watches color changes on all exposed skin, particularly face and neck, origin and
direction of change; blood vessels
Watches unconscious movement in head, shoulders, hands, feet and mouth
Watches muscle and skin tone on forehead, cheeks, around nostrils, corners of
mouth (including lip size) and neck.
1.
2.
3.
Operator asks A to identify someone he dislikes and to remember a time when they
were together and the other persons behavior was particularly objectionable to A. A
is instructed to see what he saw, hear what he heard and feel what he felt at the time.
B-F observe.
4.
5.
B-F report on what they noticed, the differences in A as he thought about the person
he liked and the person he dislikes.
6.
Operator asks A a series of comparative questions that A does not verbally answer
but merely thinks about the appropriate person. For example: Which is taller?
Which has the louder voice? Which one is older? B-F determine on the basis of their
calibration, which person A is thinking about.
When group has gotten 4 right in a row, rotate. If there is any difficulty, the group can ask
that they re-calibrate A.
Exercise - Calibrating Yes and No
The purpose of this exercise is to help the Practitioner discover the nonverbal signals
which accompany "yes" and "no" responses.
1.
Practitioner asks subject 10 questions that will get a "yes" response. Examples: Do
you live in the United States? Are you a man (woman)? Subject answers questions
NON-verbally.
2.
Practitioner identifies sensory cues for yes" response. Examples: Eye blink, head
tilt, skin color change, eye movement, muscle tone.
3.
Practitioner asks subject 10 questions that will get a "no" response. Examples: Do
you have four legs? Do you have green hair?
4.
Practitioner identifies sensory cues for "no". Once the Practitioner identifies those
sensory distinctions for both yes and "no" Practitioner asks questions for which
they don't know the true answer and Practitioner pays attention to the sensory
distinctions for the response. Practitioner should be able to discern or predict the
yes and the "no" answers. After completing a successful round switch rotate.
Observers spend their time calibrating as well.
Practitioner tells subject to remember a time in their past which was exciting (and to
not share this verbally). Subject is to go back to that experience as if it were really
happening now and step inside that experience. Practitioner tells subject to see what
you see, hear what you hear, and feel what you feel, Remember it is important
to allow enough time for the subject to do these things.
2.
Observers describe the shifts in Subject's physiology in sensory based terms. Write it
down.
3.
Break state when finished and pick another state for people to calibrate. (A time
when the person was confused, embarrassed, delighted etc.)
Seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting is how human beings experience the world
around them. These are the five primary sensory modalities by which people encode,
organize, store and attach meaning to perceptual input.
In the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming, we call these modalities Representational
Systems or Rep Systems. As input from the five senses is processed in the brain, it is
translated into corresponding internal representations, or maps, that constitute a likeness
to the outside world. This means that on the inside we see pictures, hear sounds and have
feelings. We can also remember tastes and smells. What is most important to keep in
mind is that our perceptions and "reality" differ greatly because of our filters, deletion,
distortion and generalization. This means that the map (internal sensory
re-representations) and the real world are not the same while most people act as if it is.
Remember: The Map is not the territory
This is not new. Scientist and psychologist have known this for years. What distinguishes
NLP is that the developers discovered that within each modality or Rep system are
smaller components which are called Submodalities. For example, within the visual
modality are Submodalities such as the size of the image, location, brightness and color.
For the auditory system, there is location of the sound, loudness, distance from the
individual. The kinesthetic (or feeling) rep system Submodalities include temperature,
location, pressure, duration.
Why is this discovery so critical? Because it is at the Submodality level that experience is
coded, and therefore it is at this level that experience can be changed. The developers
found that by changing the Submodalities without even knowing the content, people
could have instant relief from bad feelings. For example, try criticizing yourself in a
sensual, inviting tone of voice, or a Mickey Mouse tone. It's pretty difficult to feel bad
when you have Mickey Mouse talking to you.
Every moment throughout the day, we have a tremendous amount of information
bombarding our Rep Systems. This input is filtered by the central nervous system
allowing only a limited amount of information to reach our conscious attention. As an
example, when you pour chalky fluid through a filter, not all of the contents within the
fluid are allowed to pass through. In this same way, our filtering mechanism screens
sensory input through a set of operations called deletion, distortion and generalization.
Without these neurological filters, we would be overwhelmed by the constant deluge of
information.
While these filters serve to protect us, they also explain how is it possible for one person
to be excited about public speaking when another person is terrified by it. It all lies in
what they do inside their brain and what kinds of directions they have given it. The
wonderful part is that we are limited or enhanced simply by what we happen to be paying
attention to or NOT paying attention to at any given moment. In NLP, we utilize this
naturally occurring process to RE-DIRECT the persons brain so that they are paying
attention to different things.
Each persons internal map of reality will be different. A persons map is an accurate
reflection of that persons internal processing, yet it is an inaccurate and incomplete
representation of the world. Altering the map changes the persons experience in the real
world.
Personal Map Of The World
All of us have our own unique perception of the world around us which constitute our
map of the world or "Map". That means our friends, customers, parents, children and
When making a map of a city, a cartographer must decide what to include and what to
leave out. Just as when making a menu, the cook decides what to include or not. The
menu is not the meal, the map is not the city. It only represents the city. Our Personal
Map is only a representation as well. Remember, the Map is not the territory. Over time,
cities grow and change so the map needs to be adjusted and updated. Just like our
Personal Map needs to be adjusted and updated when we grow and change.
Our perceptual filters will determine what we remember. (Delete, Distort, Generalize)
Our memories and beliefs are our personal maps of an outer reality. But they are not
reality itself.
Vc
Visual constructed images - saw, vague,
flash, clearly imagine, bright future
Vr
eidetic and remembered
visual images
envision, sparkling perspective,
reviewed, colorful memory
Ac
auditory constructed
sounds or words
rehearsing things
to say words/
dialogue harmoniously
orchestrated will sound
Vc
Vr
visual constructed images
Ar
auditory remembered
sounds or words or
tape loops heard,
listened, resounded,
resonated
K
kinesthetic feelings (internal and
external) also tastes and smells, feel, touch,
warm, grasp, smooth trend, tingling
Ad
interior dialogue
talking to self, echoed, tuned in, rang
a bell, said, "aha"
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Breathing Changes
Even breathing in the mid-section or with the whole chest and with a typically prolonged
and controlled exhalation indicates auditory access.
Tonality Changes
Clear resonant tonality indicates auditory access.
Tempo Changes
Even, rhythmic tempo indicates auditory access.
Muscle Tone Changes
Even muscle tension and minor rhythmic movements generally indicate auditory access.
Hand and Arm Positions
Hands or arms folded indicates auditory access. Head tilted onto hand (telephone posture)
and/or hands touching mouth or chin indicates internal dialogue. "Counting fingers"
indicates access of dominant hemisphere, generally auditory digital. Pointing fingers to
ears, tapping or snapping fingers.
Persuading the auditory
Draw their attention to how things sound
Occupations And Hobbies
Stereo sales person, piano tuner, telephone sales, singer, attorney, attending concerts,
playing musical instruments, talking on phone.
Gifts for an Auditory
Concert tickets, CDs and tapes, wind chimes, sea shells, stereo, music boxes, alarm clock
with ocean wave sounds (pink noise), fountains, wind chimes, ear plugs, musical
instruments, etc.
shoulders with a straight, athletic posture. The head rests solidly on the shoulders.
Eye Movements
(See chart for generalizations related to the direction of eye accessing movements). Down
and to the right indicates kinesthetic access.
Breathing Changes
Deep, full breathing low in the abdomen, or a sudden very deep breath indicates
kinesthetic access.
Tonality Changes
Low, deep tonality indicates kinesthetic access. Certain emotionally charged memories
may produce a deeper tonality than a persons normal speaking voice.
Tempo Changes
Slow tempo with frequent pauses indicate kinesthetic access.
Muscle Tone Changes
Movement generally indicates tactile kinesthetic access. Muscle relaxation indicates
internal visceral kinesthetic access.
Hand and Arm Positions
Palms turned upward and arms bent and relaxed indicate kinesthetic access. May place
hands over heart and chest area, may rub or fold hands over abdomen, hands touching the
mid-line of body, use hands like scale weighing the situation.
Skin Color Changes
Increase or fuller color indicates kinesthetic access.
Persuading the kino:
Make them feel good about being a good host. Accept their hospitality and make them
feel even better about it. Ask them how they feel about things. Use kino language. "What
do you feel you would like to accomplish today?" Walk them through the process, give
them things to touch, get their hands on things. Direct their attention to how good things
feel.
bright
enlighten
glance
inspect
perspective
see
vision
clear
farsighted
hindsight
keen
picture
show
watch
color
features
illusion
look
resemble scan
sketchy
blind to
conspicuous
focus
illustrate
observe
tint
unsightly
babble
droning
hear
murmuring
ringing
silence
boisterous
drumming
hiss
noisy
roar
sound
buzz
earshot
listen
prattle
rumble
squeal
discord
echo
loud
quiet
screech
thunder
caress
firm
hard
nudge
soft
touch
catch
fumble
hustle
poke
strike
vibes
clutch
grasp
impressed
press
tender
get in touch
cold
grope
kiss
sensitive
tension
stumble through
Kinesthetic Phrases
I get the point.
I cant grasp it.
That strikes me right.
I racked my brain all night
and still couldn't come up
an answer
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Can you dig it?
I need you to back off.
He just rubs me the wrong
way.
you that was limiting you of which you were unaware of.... would you want to know
about it so you could make that change?"
Feedback Sandwich
Positive statement, feedback statement, positive statement
"I like what you've done here, what could be improved is X, and Im pleased that you are
on the right track."
Values and Criteria
Values are what is important to a person. Words like fun, happiness, trust, honesty
indicate a persons values. Criteria is the rule structure and belief system related to how
values are attained. Examples are phrases like, "You have to work long hours to succeed
in business" or "You must watch your diet to stay healthy". Criteria are beliefs around
values. Remember to appeal to the person's values and rules when you are persuading
them. There is always 1% that you can agree with 100%.
"And" / "But"
Use "and" when you want to achieve agreement with your listener. The word "but" will
negate everything you say before it. For example:
"I want to go, but Im tired"
"So you're tired and you want to go." or
"So youre tired but you want to go."
Use of "not"
Change phrases like "Youre not making yourself clear." to "Im having difficulty
understanding this." In this way, you take responsibility for the communication.
Context Reframe
Separate the intention from the behavior. Since every behavior is appropriate in some
context, think of a different context in which the persons behavior would be appropriate.
"It is appropriate to use physical force to restrain a suspect or in self-defense, but
it is not appropriate to use physical force just because you are angry at the
suspect."
Meaning Reframe
"Whenever X, I respond to Y". Separate the intention from the behavior. What else could
this behavior mean? What hasn't this person noticed that will bring about different
meaning?
"Whenever he uses that tone with me, I get angry and defensive."
"Is it possible that when he uses that tone, it just means that he's in a hurry to get
something done?"
The Relevancy Frame
Asking the person how something is relevant will uncover information that you can use to
persuade them.
Outcome: person wants to lose weight
"I watch too much TV."
"How is this relevant? How does this relate to what you want to achieve?"
Contrast Frame
Using the contrast frame, you are challenging a person to look beyond their map.
Remember to keep rapport!
"I want this to be better."
"Better compared to what?"
"I need more energy."
"More than what?"
The Agreement Frame
Use this model as a way to gain agreement with another person. Avoid using the word
"understand and the word "but".
"I appreciate your point of view, and..."
"I respect what you are saying, and..."
"I agree with a this part of your point, and..."
The Purpose Frame
If you find out someone's purpose, you can persuade them by adjusting your
communication to highlight the ways in which what you are proposing fits their purpose.
It also helps the listener clarify their purpose.
"I want to be able to do this."
"For what purpose?"
The Would / Won't Happen Frame
Using this frame, you will direct the persons mind to open up possibilities they may have
not thought about before.
"I cant change"
"What would happen if you did?"
What would happen when you make that change?"
"What would happen if you didnt make that change?"
"What won't happen when you make that change?"
that stinks
a light to my head
grasp it
colorful ideas
bitter notion
was pressured
yummy solution
raucous crowd
a true belief
loud mouth
quiet man
harmonize here
warming trend
seeing red
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
2.
I want to share this with you but you appear too icy.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
She could see that she was going to carry the burden.
13.
14.
15.
A tells a story using predicates in only one system. Example "I was walking on the
beach and it was a beautiful sunny day. I could see sunlight reflected off the waves
and a gull flew in from the sea. He looked almost transparent against the blue sky."
2.
B tells A's story using only predicates in a different representational system. Example
"I was walking along the beach attuned to the magic of the day, listening to the sound
of the waves on the shore and then I heard, as if from very far away, the high pitched
cry of a gull."
3.
C tells A's story using predicates of both A and B. Example "I was walking along the
beach in the brilliant sunlight. Listening to the waves on the shore. I looked out to sea
and saw a gull above the waves, iridescent in the light and heard his shrill cry in
wind."
4.
A and B tell C the sequence of predicates he used in retelling the story. Example
V>V>A>V>V>V>V>A>A>A If A and B were accurate rotate, if not repeat.
3.
4.
5.
Rotate
2.
B begins with predicate(s) in the same system used by A: and overlaps to another
system.
3.
C begins with the predicate(s) in the same system used by B and overlaps to another
system.
objects in the prospect's office, like a trophy or plaque on the wall -- "Wow, you must be
quite a bowler.
This is the fastest way to discredit yourself before the sales process even starts when the
client says, "This isn't my office, now what are you going to present to me?".
Matching Predicates or "Buzz Words"
The most effective methods are Matching or Mirroring the predicates, the vocal qualities
and nonverbal body language, the chunk size (whether the person likes the big picture or
the details) and values (what's important to the person). Detect and match in your own
language the primary predicates of the other person. Match eye accessing cues.
When we speak, we give clues about how we think. Because we choose our words
unconsciously, they give an accurate description of how we make sense of the world we
live in. We use words that describe how we process the information we take in through
our five senses. We talk about what we see, hear, feel, smell and taste in the world as well
as what is going on inside our heads.
The Expert Communicator learns to listen for these predicates (buzz words) and to match
them back to the person he is communicating with. If someone is painting a picture using
visual words, when speaking to that person, the Expert Communicator paints them a
picture as well. If they are talking about how things sound or feel to them, the Expert
Communicator speaks in similar terms. This listener receives the message that the Expert
hears and understands them. This is a major step in increasing the degree of Rapport and
understanding between people.
Example:
Child: Mom, the way I see it, you are not being fair to me.
NLPer Mom: "I can understand how you see it that way. Let's find out if we can see eye
to eye on this."
Matching VAK Language Sequence
People may use one or two of the sensory systems. Most tend to use more than one.
Follow the sequence they use. If you treat a visual like a kino, the visual simply won't
respond. You pay attention and you can do anything else, switch modes to communicate
more effectively.
Example:
Boss: We need to get a handle on this situation so that we can all work in harmony with
each other."
NLPer Employee: Let's put our heads together and talk about solutions.
Matching Values
Values are the things in life a person invests their time, money and effort to achieve.
These are usually expressed as nominalizations. For example: fun, freedom, honesty,
love, friendship, or leisure time are words used to describe what people value. People
tend to have their values aligned in a hierarchy which can be determined by asking them
specific questions. By aligning with their values, or by discussing things in terms of the
individual's hierarchy, the same unconscious message that "you are like me" is sent. If the
persons values are very different than yours, you DO NOT have to lie to them. Keep in
mind that there is always 1% that you can agree upon 100%. Start there!
Example:
Client: It love to go boating on the weekends.
Non-boating Salesperson: "What is important to you about boating?"
Client: "When I go boating, it feel so free - I get an incredible sense of freedom when Im
out there in the vast, open waters.
Non-boating Salesperson: "I can totally understand that, I get that sense of freedom when
I go hiking. It just feels so free to be out in nature.
Cross Over Matching
Using one aspect of your behavior to match a different aspect of the other persons
behavior. Pace eye blinks with your finger or breathing rate with your head nods. Tap
your finger rhythmically to their breath or cadence of speech. Sway your body subtly to
their rhythm. Most powerful form of match is to match their rhythm.
Matching Key Gestures
You can match and steal people's key gestures, which are repetitive gestures that occur
usually to emphasize a point and are frequently accompanied by a shift in their voice
volume. Steal their key gestures so that when you make a point you can use their gestures.
You are sending that unconscious message that "I am like you" - which means they are
more likely to make your point important because it is the same way they act when they
make important points. And remember "people like people who are like themselves".
Matching Key Words And Phrases
Steal key words and phrases just as you steal key gestures. Key words and phrases are
repetitive and are given special emphasis by a subtle but noticeable shift in volume or rate
increase and are often accompanied by a key gesture.
Example:
Student: Doesn't my painting look cool when it is hung on the wall?"
Teacher: "Yes! It looks really cool.
Determining what you want to occur between parties during the communication
interaction.
2.
Observing and hearing without bias, becoming flexible enough to alter your behavior
to increase or break Rapport.
3.
Having the sensory acuity to recognize whether you are getting closer to or further
from what you want to occur and having the flexibility to adjust your behavior
accordingly to get your outcome.
2.
B matches (paces) A's body posture, gestures, breath rate and language patterns.
3.
When B thinks s/he has Rapport, then B leads with a body shift, gesture, etc. If
Rapport has been established, person A will follow B's lead unconsciously. A's
response may have a delay of 5-10 seconds and may be very subtle.
4.
When B is sure A has followed his lead, then mismatch (break Rapport). This can
sometimes be difficult and will require flexibility on B's part.
5.
A and B face each other and have a pleasant conversation. B notes the body language
and breath rate of A. B begins to match A. After Matching A for awhile B tests to see
if Rapport is established by doing something different and watches to see if A
follows.
2.
3.
Do the same exercise as above, except Match predicates. Listen carefully and talk
back to A in their language. After awhile, overlap or change to another
Representational System predicate and notice if a shift occurs in B.
4.
B goes into a negative state. A gains Rapport and tries to shift them to a productive
state through Pacing and leading.
5.
During conversation B paces statements back to A and then leads. Make three Pacing
statements and then a leading statement.
2.
C tells A a story using the most effective behaviors of B. B notices the effect of C's
story on A.
R
A
P
P
O
R
T
Physology
Paralinguistic Cues
VAK Predicates
Key Gestures
Buzz Words
Chunk Size
Values
Beliefs
Rules
Content
Physology
Paralinguistic
Cues
VAK Predicates
Key Gestures
Buzz Words
Chunk Size
Values
Beliefs
Rules
Content
2.
Watch TV interview shows with the sound off. Watch eye accessing patterns. Spend
at least 15 minutes to start identifying each system. Start with visual then switch to
auditory and then to kinesthetic. After practicing this for a few days, begin noticing
the how people use eye accessing patterns in a patterned fashion.
3.
Watch TV with the sound off and notice eye accessing cues - during the interview
turn the sound up and find out whether the persons accessing cues and predicates
match.
4.
Listen to talk radio or radio interview programs. Listen for the predicates the speaker
uses. Start listening for visual, then auditory and finally kinesthetic. After a few days,
begin to notice how people sequence their predicates in a patterned fashion.
5.
Read editorials and letters in newspapers or magazines and highlight the VAK
predicates the author uses. Note which system the author uses predominantly.
6.
Read letters you have received from friends or family and highlight their use of
predicates. Note which systems are predominant,
7.
Practice matching the predicates of others while you converse. Spend the first few
minutes noticing which they predominantly use and then match them.
8.
Practice matching predicates of others while conversing and notice the sequence of
predicates they use. Match for a while, then overlap to another system. Notice what
they do.
9.
Spend time each day making sensory based observations. Calibrate using sensory
based language. Remember if you make an interpretive judgment you can always ask
to see if your observations are correct.
10.
Generate a set of questions that will be useful to you in your own environment for
tracking eye movements. See page on eye accessing questions for guide lines.
11.
Spend time noticing how people's posture, gestures and voice tone coincide with
their internal processing and the predicates and eye accesses they use. While in
public restaurants and other places, watch people from a distance and determine if
you can tell what their predominant system is by their body language. Note - when
two or more people are together, identify each of their systems and determine what
level of rapport or good communication ability they have.
12.
Practice matching non-verbal body posture and facial expression. Later, practice
matching voice tone and rate of speech. Then practice both at the same time.
13.
Practice matching people's gate - the way they walk. Go to a public place like a mail
where people will be walking around. Pick someone and match their gate from a
non-intrusive distance. Notice if they stop and turn around to look.
?
important to you?
do for you?
Values are those things that a person is willing to put energy, time or money into
attaining.
Criteria are the rules or standards or test that a person uses to attain their values.
Anchors do not need to be conditioned over long periods of time in order to become
established. Repeated stimuli can reinforce an Anchor, but Anchors tend to promote
the use of single trial learning.
2.
Anchors will become established without direct rewards or reinforcements for the
association. Repetition and conditioning can lead to the establishment of an Anchor,
4.
The more intense the experience the individual is having at the time the Anchor is
set" (the stimulus applied), the stronger the response will be when the Anchor is
"fired off" (re-introduced) at a later time. Phobias are an example of powerful
Anchors that, in most cases, are established in a single, very brief and intense
learning experience.
5.
When eliciting a state you wish to Anchor, be sure the person has a specific example,
a single event when that state was paramount. The memory of the experience should
be associated. That is, the person should remember the event as if it were happening
now, seeing what they saw, hearing what they heard and feeling what they were
feeling.
6.
Set Anchor
Release Anchor
INTENSITY
TIME
Note: You can use the persons first memory of the experience to calibrate their
physiology so you know what they look like when the experience peaks. Then have them
repeat the memory; this time set the anchor.
7.
The more unique the stimuli (anchor) the more accurate it will be in re-accessing the
desired state. In other words, the anchor will be less likely to bring with it any
unwanted representations which had similar associations.
8.
The more accurately the stimulus is replicated, the quicker and more accurately it
will re-access what was associated with it originally.
9.
When you test your Anchor, if you do not see the same physical response A. The
Anchor was set too late (when the state was diminishing) B. Firing the Anchor did
not precisely replicate the "set."
10.
Anchors can be established in any of the Representational Systems. Often, the most
powerful Anchor is in the sensory system the person is least aware of. If you anchor
in multiple systems (for example, touching a knee while making a sound, "ssssss"), it
will be more powerful than using only one system.
11.
Anchors can be set and fired off covertly or overtly. The fact of everyday living is
that people are constantly creating and utilizing powerful Anchors covertly and most
of the time doing so outside of their own conscious awareness. An exciting outcome
of your training will be to gain more control of the Anchoring you do naturally, so
you can produce the responses you want in others and in yourself.
Stacking Anchors
Purpose: To amplify a resource state.
1.
Identify a positive resourceful state. Elicit the state and associate. Anchor it. Release
anchor.
2.
Break state
3.
Elicit several more positive states separately and anchor each one in the same spot as
the first anchor. Use as many states as you need to in order to achieve an extremely
powerful state.
4.
Test anchor.
Collapse Anchor
Purpose: To add a resource to a negative state. To release negative feelings.
1.
2.
3.
Elicit the positive state and associate fully into the state. Just before the state begins
to peak (calibrate), set anchor (Al). Break state. Test Anchor.
4.
Elicit the negative state. Associate fully. Set Anchor (A2). Break State. Test Anchor.
5.
Fire off both anchors (All and A2) at the same time. Hold anchors until they peak.
Subject will often have a puzzled look on their face.
6.
Release negative anchor first (A2). Hold the positive anchor (All) for 5 seconds and
then release.
7.
Test. Fire the negative anchor (A2) and calibrate how the experience has changed.
You must state goals in the positive -- what you do want, not what you don't want.
Nature abhors a vacuum. State what you want not what you don't want. The brain
deletes negatives.
2.
You must be able to represent it to yourself by way of the 5 senses. How do you see
it, hear it, taste it, smell it, and feel it? Where do you feel it, where do you want it,
when and with whom?
3.
You must be able to start or initiate your action independently and be able to carry it
out independently. It is what you can do and not what others do that counts. How will
you start it and how will you carry it through to the end result?
4.
The goal you are attempting to attain does not interfere in any negative ways with
your natural life state and that of others. Is there anything that you would have to give
up or sacrifice when you make the change? How will you and others around you be
effected?
Good sub questions to ask yourself about this goal.
What will having this goal do for me? (gets you larger outcome and additional
motivation)? What prevents me from having it right now? Is this realistic? (When
answering this question you will most likely find something that you can do or
change right away today to make getting your goal possible.)
Is this goal a manageable size or is it too large for a first step? What steps do I need
to take in order to get this goal? What resources do I have available to me right now
to assist me in getting my goal? Go and review five times when you were successful
and see what you did --What did you say to yourself? What were you doing? How
did you look, sound and move? Find at least five times and feel how good it feels to
be resourceful. When youve found some powerful times, move them closer, make
them brighter and in full color to intensify those experiences for yourself.
When I have my goal, what will I be seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling
that will let me know I have it? What will happen if you make the change (both good
and bad)? What could (if it were to) go wrong?
Who else will this goal effect? Are there any possible negative consequences? Is
there anyone who might possibly object to you making this change or having this
goal?
When and where do you want this change (It is very important to specify time and
the context)? What is going to happen when you make this change? What is -not
going to happen when you make this change? What is going to happen if you don't
make this change (What is the consequence if you don't make the change)? What is
not going to happen if you don't make this change?
You need the sensory evidence to know whether you are on or off target in getting
your goal, and most importantly, you must do what is necessary to get your goal.
Action is the most important step. You must make your plan and then do the plan.
Each step along the way must be small enough to be able to accomplish easily and
yet large enough to be motivating. (What will having this do for me? This question
can provide the motivating factor).
5.
Is it testable and measurable? You need a way to know when you are getting close to
your goals, when you have arrived and when to stop. How will you know when you
have accomplished your goal?
What's wrong?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Outcome Frame
1.
What do I want?
2.
3.
4.
What resources do I have right now that will help me achieve my outcome?
5.
6.
Note: After answering the Outcome Frame Questions, take a moment to breathe deeply
and remember what answering them was like for you.
Your outcome is something you want to move toward. Be sure your language is
positive. Saying I don't want to be overweight" is not well-formed. Instead, use
positive language I want to be slim
Is it possible to achieve this outcome?
What will be the result?
What have you learned from having this situation in your life?
When you succeed in getting your outcome how will it affect your life and the lives of
those around you?
Are there any circumstances or contexts in which your outcome is not appropriate?
Will achieving this outcome produce results that you or others do not want?
How will others be behaving around you if you get this outcome?
How will you know when you have achieved your outcome?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
It has to stop.
10.
Now that you have stated each differently. Determine what would have to occur for it to be stated
in sensory specific terms, initiated and maintained by you, and ecologically sound and testable.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
2.
3.
What will I bee seeing, hearing and feeling when I have my goal? (stated in sensory terms)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Will it disrupt any part of my life or those close to me (friends, work associates, family
etc.?)
10.
Submodalities
We create our experience by the specific way we internally represent (think about)
information that we take in through our senses. The external information that we take in
through our senses is represented inside our minds in the form of internal pictures,
sounds, and feelings. These are called modalities - visual, auditory and kinesthetic.
Modalities are nothing new. Visualization and self-talk programs have been around for
years. What distinguishes NLP is that the developers discovered that more was involved
than just visualizing. What was missing in them was the smaller components they called
Submodalities. Submodalities are the variables within the modalities. For example: in
visual -is the picture in color or in black and white, in auditory - is the sound soft or loud,
in kinesthetic - is the feeling spreading all over or just in one spot?
If a person makes a picture of themselves being motivated- but they make it small, dark
and in black and white - they are not likely to become motivated. On the other hand, if the
person makes the same picture bright, colorful, 40 feet tall by 40 feet wide, and add
surround sound, they tend to be much more motivated. This is obviously a very simplistic
example, but the implications for personal change are immense. In NLP, we call this
running your own brain.
If there was an owner's manual for your brain, it would be Submodalities.
When you work with Submodalities, you are directly manipulating the structural
components of a persons internal experience. You are working with the level at which
experience is coded. By far, it is the most precise technology for altering (re-coding) a
persons thinking process. It is important to realize you are not changing behaviors
directly. Rather, you are altering states and perceptions which influence the likelihood of
a person changing their behavior.
Characteristics of Submodalities
Submodalities represent the level at which experience is coded. Submodalities are
homeostatic, which means if one Submodality changes, then the whole system adjusts in
some way to the change.
Analog Distinctions. Some Submodality distinctions can be varied gradually (e.g., from
smaller to bigger). Linguistic cues that can help identify analog characteristics are
adjectives with "er" suffixes. In the Meta Model, these are referred to as Comparatives.
Digital Distinctions. Digital Distinctions are either one way or the other. Perceptual
position is a digital distinction - an image is either associated or dissociated, which means
you are either in the picture or out of the picture. Foreground/background, shape,
color/black & white, still/movement are all examples of digital distinctions.
Number of Sounds
Distance From You
Volume (Loud/Soft)
Duration
Music/Noise/Voice (Whose?)
Contrast
Fore/Background
Symmetry
Resonance
Context
Internal/External
Source
Pauses
Tonality
Cadence (Groupings, Interruptions)
Timbre
Rhythm (Regular or Irregular)
Binaural/Monaural
Tempo (Relative to Normal Rhythm)
Clarity/Intelligibility
Direction (Towards you or away from you)
Uniqueness of Sound (Smooth, Gravely)
Inflections (Marked out words and how they are marked out)
Kinesthetic Submodality Distinctions
Pressure
Area/Extent
Intensity
Rhythm
Shape
Duration
Temperature
Vibration
Number
Size
Internal/External
Other
Other
Sweet
Sour
Salty
Other
Movement/Speed
Duration
Internal/External
Proximity (Distance)
Direction
Frequency
Elicitation Hints
Eric Robbie's Submodality Elicitation Hints
1.
2.
Go through it quickly.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Be extremely disciplined and clean in your language as you ask the elicitation
questions.
Elicit Submodalities of 3 beliefs of your subject. - Belief that gets in the way of
learning - Ludicrous belief - Strong belief
2.
3.
Quickly slam strong belief into Submodality configuration where the limiting belief
had been.
Imagine a circle on the floor in front of you. Make the circle your favorite color.
3.
See yourself in the resource state inside the circle. See yourself in the circle having
all those wonderful feelings. See yourself behaving as you did back then. Notice
what you were saying and how you looked at the time.
4.
When you step into the circle, you will associate fully into the state. Step into the
circle now and fully associate into the experience. See what you saw at the time, hear
what you heard at the time, and feel what you felt at the time. Wrap these feelings
around you so that you can feel them in every fiber of your being and say, "YES!" (or
whatever your code word is).
5.
As soon as the feeling begins to subside, step out of the circle, leaving all those
feelings in the circle.
6.
7.
Now, step into the circle again and bring all those feelings back. Wrap them around
you.
8.
Just as the feeling begins to subside, step out of the circle again, leaving all those
feelings in the circle.
Note: Notice the underlined words. Be sure your language reflects the associated and
disassociated language.
Applications: You can take your circle with you where ever you go. You can place the
circle on the floor of your bedroom next to your bed so that every morning when you get
up, you can step into your circle of excellence. You could also place the circle on the
pavement outside your car door so that when you go to important meetings or sales calls,
your circle of excellence helps you to be resourceful. Another idea is to place it in front of
the front door of your house so that after work, you come home in a resourceful state.
Submodality Interventions
Association/Disassociation
For example: See yourself (disassociated) instead of seeing through your own eyes as if
you were there (associated).
Change Any One Element:
For Example: Within the visual system, you can change the brightness or the size. Within
the auditory system, you could vary the location or loudness of the sound.
Delete Elements:
Modality Deletions. For Example: If the sound in a movie is unpleasant turn it off.
Content Deletions. For Example: You can remove the background, people and/or certain
objects.
Add Elements:
Modality Additions. For Example: If a movie doesn't have any sound, add a sound track.
Content Additions. For Example: In a picture, you can only add content that isn't there. If,
when you see yourself doing a certain activity, and you add people, it makes the activity
look like more fun, then add the appropriate person or persons.
Contrastive Analysis and Critical Submodalities:
Elicit two different states and elicit the Submodalities of each state. Contrastive Analysis
is when you catalog and contrast the differences in the Submodalities. The difference
between two states is typically created by only 3 or 4 Submodality distinctions, called
Critical Submodalities. Once you have determined the Critical Submodalities, you can
use them to shift one state into another.
Mapping Across:
Shift one state into another by making the configuration of Submodalities the same. For
Example: Changing a Limitation State into a Resource State. Find out what the
configuration of Submodalities are for each state and then make the configuration of
Submodalities for the limitation" state the same as the Submodalities of the "Resource"
state.
2.
3.
Spend time making pictures, paying attention to internal sounds and internal feelings.
Devote five to 15 minutes a day.
4.
Each day spend specific time practicing associating into pleasant experiences and
dissociating from unpleasant ones. This is tremendously valuable skill and you will
want to master it so that your brain will automatically do it for you. You can use the
Circle of Excellence if you want.
5.
Practice the Swish Pattern and Belief Change (see later in the manual) with yourself
or others. Remember to pick minor problems and goals to start with so that you can
"wire in the pattern before moving on to larger issues.
6.
Practice Anchoring positive responses from others and yourself. Choose visual
Anchors one day, kinesthetic Anchors the next day, and auditory Anchors the
following day. Practice using precision when you set Anchors.
The methodology of NLP is the "how": how to get from point A to point B. The NLP
practitioner does not want to know why a chocolate cake is chocolate. And s/he doesn't
want to know why someone has a phobia. The question "why" will give you the least
useful information. You want to know how the cake is made and how the person is able
to make themselves terrified. This information is useful because you can then use it to
help the person achieve their outcome. The NLP practitioner has the curiosity to find out
what ingredients went into the cake so that they can duplicate it or change it. Also, you
want to know how to work backwards in case someone has a secret recipe.
Get three cards or sheets of paper. Write the letter S (for Stuck
State) on one card. On the other, write the letter D (for
Disassociated), and the third card, write the letter R (for
Resource). Place the cards on the floor in a triangle.
3.
Briefly, step onto the "S" or Stuck State card and associate into
the stuck state, but only for a brief second or two.
D
R
4.
Disassociate from the problem state and step onto the " "D" card, leaving all those
feelings over there (point to the "S" card).
5.
While still remaining on the "D" card, turn and look toward the "R" card. Identify a
resource that would be appropriate to the problem. For example, choose humor,
confidence, playfulness, curiosity, etc. See the resource over there (point tot he "R"
card). See the "younger you".
6.
Look over at the resource card and know that in a minute you are going to step onto
that card and fully associate into that resource. Now, step onto the "R" card and
wrap the resource around you fully. Feel all the feelings, see what you were seeing
at the time, hear what you were hearing at the time. Feel this state in your entire
body.
7.
When you have completely associated into the resource, step onto the "S" card and
step into the problem state, taking all these positive feelings with you. Take a
moment and let this integrate.
8.
Step outside the triangle. Take a deep breath and notice how the problem is
different. What new solutions are now available to you that were not available
before? What is new?
Note: If needed, you can repeat the exercise. It is very important to build a very powerful
resource -- one that is more powerful than the stuck state, so that it even makes the stuck
state seem wimpy when compared with the resource. If needed, stack a few resource
states together under one anchor so that the resource state is very intense.
2.
3.
Create a square picture of seeing yourself (dissociated) having the new behavior.
This picture should, when you look at it, give you the good feelings you will have
about yourself when you have made this change.
4.
Create another square picture of seeing what it is that triggers the current behavior,
seeing through your own eyes (associated) and having the feelings that you now
have, when you have the old behavior. EXAMPLE: Seeing chocolate and feeling
hungry. Once you have this picture let it fade out (or do a break state) before going to
step 5.
5.
Now take the big, bright picture of the current behavior (seeing what you saw when it
was triggered), and in the lower left hand corner of the picture, put a small dark
image of you having the replacement behavior.
6.
Now take the big bright one and make it dark while taking the smaller one in the
corner and making it bigger and brighter until it completely covers the whole thing.
Then open your eyes and reorient to the room (break state). It is very important to
reorient to the room at this point otherwise you could create a chain going from
problem state to desired state back to problem state. In other words, you could create
a loop unless you break state between the steps.
7.
Repeat step 6 five times as rapidly as possible opening your eyes (breaking state)
between each run.
8.
Go back and look at what used to trigger the old behavior and notice how your
feelings have changed.
Variations:
If, when you learn about your own Critical Submodalities, you find the location is a
strong influence on what motivates you, place the small, dark picture of the new behavior
in the location where motivation is, then continue the pattern from there.
Have one picture way off in the distance and the other picture closer to you. Swish them
by changing locations.
Confusion to Understanding
In the process of learning, the purpose is to go from confusion, or lack of understanding,
to a point where you understand. Some people run across the problem that when they are
confused, they feel frustrated, or they don't believe that they can learn what it is that will
make them understand. Therefore, being able to go from confusion to understanding in a
deliberate fashion can make learning something that can be enjoyable and add more
delight and fun to your life. This is an exercise to assist you in the process starting right
now. It is strongly suggested that you do this exercise with someone else, someone who
also knows something about Submodalities, and someone who will save your
Submodality list for future understanding.
Confusion to Understanding Steps
1.
Pick a memory of something that you are confused about, but would like to
understand more.
2.
3.
With your partner asking the questions and taking notes on the Submodality list,
begin to compare your internal representation of what you understand and what you
are confused about by going back and forth from one representation to the other. List
the differences. EXAMPLE: One is a movie while the other is a slide. One is
panoramic while the other is bordered, etc.
4.
Once you have gone through the entire list, have your partner assist you in changing
your confused memory into the same Submodalities as the understanding memory,
changing whatever is different from confusion to understanding.
5.
Now look at what you were confused about. Do you feel like you understand it? If
not, compare it with what you understand and go back and find the other differences
you missed.
Summary
Do you understand what you were confused about? What does that say about content?
This exercise is a demonstration that people usually know more than they thought, and
that learning can be easier. In order to be confused about something, you must have some
knowledge of it. If you are confused, it only means that you haven't yet organized the data
in a way that you completely understand now. It's easier when you have organized the
data because now you can find out what else you may need to learn.
2.
Next take something that you understand and change it to your partner's confusion.
3.
Now, take what you understood from your partners confusion and change it into your
partner's understanding.
4.
Now you can explore just how it is that you still understand what you know, but now
you have another way of understanding.
Beliefs
Beliefs are the large unconscious framework of our behavior and experience. You can
teach people new skills if they are alive and can feed back information to you. However,
if a person believes that they cant do something, they are going to find a way to
unconsciously keep the change from occurring.
One kind of belief is the belief that something is possible. This means that you believe
that your goal or outcome is a real possibility. If you do not believe that something is
possible, you won't act upon it and the usual response is hopelessness.
No belief that it is possible = Hopelessness
Another kind of belief is the belief that something is possible and that you have the
whatever it takes to reach your goal. This means that you believe that you have the
resources to accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Another version of this is when a
person believes something is possible for others, but not possible for themselves. A
person with these beliefs ends up helpless and does not take action to better their life.
No belief in own resources = Helplessness
A third type of belief has to do with expectancy. What we expect usually comes true,
right? If a person does not expect to accomplish the goals, then they will not take any
action to head in that direction. Another version of this is the placebo effect. Studies
prove that when people believe and expect they will feel better after taking a drug, they
do, even when it was just a sugar pill.
No expectancy = no action
In the NLP Master Practitioner training, we fully delve into beliefs; how to detect beliefs
in a persons language, how they function, how to quickly change them just by using your
own language, and how they operate. in conjunction with everything else. In Practitioner
level training, you'll begin by discovering how to change your own limiting beliefs into
compelling new ones.
It is very powerful to have the ability to change your limiting beliefs. Is there something
that you believe, that if you stopped believing it, life would be better? What if you believe
something else that creates more ecstasy and passion in your life? If you could do this,
how many beliefs would you change? This following exercises demonstrate how you can
change beliefs thoroughly, systematically, and with a direction towards more of what you
want and who you want to be. It is suggested that you use a partner to assist you.
Pick a belief that you would like to change. Pick one that if you didnt believe it, life
would be better, you would feel better about yourself.
2.
Now think of something which you do not believe, something that you doubt strongly.
3.
Using your Submodality sheet, compare the differences in Submodalities between the two
beliefs.
4.
When you have a list of the Submodalities of both beliefs, pick a new belief that you want
to replace the one you are going to change.
5.
Now construct this new belief with all the Submodalities of what you believe strongly.
When you know what this picture will be and how it will look, set it aside for a moment.
6.
Take the old belief, the one you are changing, and change it to the Submodalities of how
you strongly doubt something.
7.
As soon as the old belief is in doubt, bring up the new belief in the Submodalities of what
you now believe strongly.
8.
Look at the old belief. Do you doubt it? If not, go back to what you doubt strongly and
find any differences you may have missed.
9.
Look at the new belief. Believe it strongly? If not, pick another strong belief, one that you
like, and compare the Submodalities until you have the new belief just as strongly.
1.
Identify the conflict and the parts involved. For example, a part of you wants to go to
the party, but a part of you wants to stay home and relax.
2.
Make a visual image of each part and place one in each hand.
3.
Separate the intention from the behavior. Reframe (chunk up) each part so that they
realize that they actually have the same complementary intention. Ask the subject,
"What is the intention of this behavior?", and/or "What resources does each part have
that would be useful to the other part in assisting it to be even more effective?"
4.
Create a third part between the other two which has the combined resources of each
of the formally conflicting parts.
5.
Using hypnotic tonality, instruct the subject to bring his hands together slowly "Bring
your hands together, watching the transformation of each of these parts into the
center image ... bringing your hands together ... when youre ready and only when
youre ready ... only as quickly as you can integrate these parts of yourself."
6.
Instruct the subject to take the integrated image into his body in whatever way is
appropriate for him. "Note the physical sensation at the point of incorporation and
allow that sensation to spread throughout your body, until you feel it all over."
Establish a powerful (stacked) anchor for feeling safe and secure (Al) and an anchor
(A2) to access the event.
2.
Establish a beginning and an end to the event. Instruct the subject to go to a time
after the event has transpired and is over, a time where he knows he is safe and
secure and to visualize his younger self. Instruct the subject to project that image as a
small black and white frozen slide image onto a wall (S1). Break state / pattern
interrupt. Next instruct the subject to visualize his younger self moments before the
event took place and project that image (S2) as a slide on the wall in the same
location. NOTE: In those instances where a person was dissociated from the event,
have him change perspective - see it from another vantage point than he did
originally. In other words, in an instance where the person saw an accident, have that
person now watch himself watch the accident from a different location.
3.
When the subject can see himself in the safe place before the event began, instruct
him to float out of his present body to a place directly behind himself where he can
watch himself watch himself. This establishes three place dissociation. Use the
analogy of a movie house and anchor the dissociation (A3).
4.
Fire and hold the comfort and security anchor (A1) and the dissociation anchor (M)
and instruct the subject to start and watch the movie of his younger self go through
the event all the way to the end stopping on (S1) - safety after the event transpired.
5.
Instruct the subject to have the dissociated self float back to and integrate into his
body.
6.
Instruct the subject to fully associate with the younger self (S1); seeing what he saw,
hearing what he heard at the time. After he is successful at associating into the
younger self, (S1) have him run the movie all the way backwards at high speed, all
the way back to (S2) - safety before the event and stop. You might instruct him that it
should look like a Charlie Chaplin movie run backward very fast.
7.
TEST. As he thinks about what he was phobic about in the past there should now be
a different response. If not, repeat steps 4, 5, & 6. Each time the subject goes through
the event dissociated, have him change his perspective - view it from a different
location in space. Be sure that the associated, backward sequence is at high speed.
You can add circus music as the movie runs backward, make other Submodality
shifts, e.g. play with the color and brightness.
8.
When the response to the original event is different, test it in the present when
possible and as soon as possible. For example, if the subject was phobic of elevators,
send him on a ride in an elevator, if it was of snakes, find him a snake. The purpose
of the reality test is to change the persons beliefs about how they now respond in a
context that was formerly phobia producing.
Future
1.
2.
Elicit Timeline from subject and instruct subject to imagine an externalized Timeline
on the ground, step on it, orienting himself to the present while facing the future.
3.
Instruct the subject to move backwards in time identifying points in his past where he
has had that feeling before. At each point that he notices that feeling (through a
Kinesthetic sensation), he can make a mental note and continue backwards to the
very first experience of that sensation.
4.
When the subject reaches the very first experience of that sensation, he steps off the
Timeline to the left and looks at the memory on the Timeline. He sees his younger
dissociated self, the event and the people around him. Next, he steps over the
Timeline to the right and looks at the memory from another perspective. After the
subject has gathered information about the event from different perspectives, he
walks back along the side of his Timeline to where he had oriented himself in the
present.
5.
From this vantage point, looking back along the Timeline to that very first instance
he determines what resources he has that would have been useful in that past
experience.
6.
Have the subject associate into resources, amplify the Submodalities and anchor.
You can stack as many resources as the subject would like to have.
7.
After the subject has stacked resources, have him walk back along side his Timeline.
Then have him step back onto his Timeline in a place before the memory. Fire the
resource anchor and hold as the subject steps into the memory bringing resources
with him.
Exp. #5
Frst Exp.
Past
Check the subject's response to the event. How is it different? How does he feel
differently about himself? If satisfied, holding the resource anchor, move the subject
quickly along the Timeline to the present. "Allowing these resources to reorganize
and re-code all of the experiences of your life that were influenced by this event."
When the subject reaches the "present" location, be sure he takes the time to integrate
the change.
8.
Subject then moves 2 weeks into the future, then 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, then
one year into his future laying down resources at each point.
9.
Subject then turns, faces the present and notices the changes he has now made with
those resources and gives his present self whatever information he has that will assist
him in making those changes. Then he steps off the Timeline and returns to the
"present" location. Instruct the subject, "When youre ready, take the first step."
NOTE: While dissociated and at the side of the first instance memory, the subject can
reassure the younger self that everything is all right, that he is from the future, he has
survived and will bring back resources for the younger self. As an added element: while
dissociated to the first instance, the subject can determine how the people around the
younger subject did the best they could at the time, what their positive intentions were
and what resources they might have needed to perform differently at the time.
2.
3.
Subject is instructed to float backwards in time, above his Timeline to the earliest
event in his life that contained the limiting decision.
4.
Subject is instructed to float down into his Timeline at this point and notice the
kinesthetic sensations he experiences.
5.
Instruct subject to float back up above his Timeline and to float fifteen minutes
backward in time, before the event and to float down onto Timeline. Tell the subject
that from this vantage point to look toward the future and ask himself "Now where
are those sensations?" (Not there) Then have the subject ask himself, "Now where is
the limiting decision?" (Also not there.)
6.
Instruct the subject to form a new decision and to formulate that new decision in all
systems (VAK). Then instruct the subject to: "float forward along your Timeline
towards NOW only as quickly as you allow all similar decisions and memories to
reevaluate themselves in just the same way, in light of your new decision and choices
about feeling the way you want in this kind of experience ... taking all the time you
need ... so that the closer you get to NOW, the more permanently free of that
limiting decision you become, haven't you? As you come forward to NOW, notice
that your choices increase geometrically in light of your new decision and when
youre ready float down into NOW, trying in vain not to become deliriously happy as
you experience your newfound and lasting freedom."
7.
When subject has floated back to now, instruct them to take all the time you need to
enjoy the process as it integrates and open your eyes when you have, at both the
conscious and unconscious level, firmly solidified your decision and the new choices
you NOW have, don't you?"
8.
TEST: Instruct the client to go back and try in vain to re-access the old memories and
feelings. If they are emotionally flat (neutral) or happy about what they now
experience you are finished. If not go back and redo the process.
Pick a specific behavior you want to have in a situation you have never been in.
2.
Select some person as a model, real or fictional, who elegantly exhibits this behavior.
3.
Make a movie. You are the director. See the images and hear the soundtrack as the
model goes through the situation you picked. If you are not satisfied at this point,
pick a different model until you are satisfied.
4.
Substitute the model for your own image and voice in this short movie and sound
track. Check ecology. Notice! Are their any circumstances where this behavior is not
appropriate? How will this new behavior effect my life and the lives of those around
me? If not satisfied, modify the film until it is exactly what you want and reed.
5.
Step into the image and feel what it is like to have this new behavior. Build it up.
Hear the entire soundtrack, music and voices and everything. Feel what it's like to be
in your own body having this new behavior. See all around you how other people and
other things look when you have this new behavior. What new things are you telling
yourself? How differently does your future look? How differently do you look at
your past? What new and wonderful feelings do you have as a result of having this
new behavior?
6.
Ask yourself when will be a good time to use this new behavior in the near future?
What will you see, hear and feel that indicates to you that it will be useful to begin to
behave in this new fashion?
7.
When you have completely discovered what you will see, hear and feel, go back
through step #5.
8.
Pick another situation where this new behavior will be useful to you. What will you
see, hear and feel specifically that will let you know when to begin to activate your
new behavior? When you have it, do step #5 again.
9.
Continue to rehearse step #6 through #8 until you are confident that you have a
automatic trigger for your new behavior.
10.
Compulsion Blowout
Group of 2
1.
Person A instructs person B find location of image, amplify size and boldness.
2.
3.
Repeat, amplify, move. Repeat, amplify, move... building upon the kinesthetic
experience until through threshold.
Variation: Make image of compulsion on mirror, then shatter it. Paint compulsion on a
canvas, then burn it up.
2.
Person A instructs person B to find the location of a new compulsion they would
rather have.
3.
Person A instructs person B to drive in the compulsion towards them and then by
them.
4.
Person B draws back along the same line of trajectory and then whips across into the
location of the new compulsion.
Make a picture of chocolates or anything pleasant you crave. In the center, see an iris
opening up with a picture of you behind it doing the exercise wantonly. Amplify.
2.
Think of the most irresistible thing in the world. e.g.. a movie you have to see, a deal
you must close, something you would not hesitate to do.
3.
Take the very last instance of that experience and next to it make a picture of Rex
Steven Sikes saying "go do the exercise". And see yourself moving through the
remainder of the course with gusto.
4.
Make both pictures bigger and brighter, put them on a 40 x 40 foot screen, turn up
the volume. Associate into the picture of yourself, feeling great and pull up the
pictures into yourself and feel it vibrate inside yourself.
Rex's Rules
If you are in sales, if you are a therapist, a parent, or a significant other, you want to get
people's attention. Sometimes other people are in states of hysteria, states of euphoria,
states of anger, sadness, confidence, joy... and if you are selling them on any idea or
notion in your mind; you first need to get their attention and entrain it. Entrainment is the
scientific description for what happens when people are in rapport. The main thing is to
bond so that their attention gets connected to you and/or what you are offering them.
You create these incredible states inside the other person, and then you amplify them and
anchor them to yourself or your product. Amplify and connect! You can connect feelings
to yourself or your product or to a resource that they have or want. If you are a therapist,
you connect it up to where it will be most useful and beneficial to them. When I say you
connect it up to yourself, I am talking "win-win here. The reason why we elicit values is
so that it is in alignment with their values. Because if you connect up all this stuff with
what they truly value, if you leverage it against their criteria, their rules and their values -boom" you have them held! If you have their outcome and your outcome in mind, you
will create win-win.
The same thing is true if you want people to go into hypnotic states of consciousness
because what we are doing is hypnotic.
Rex's Rules
1.
2.
3.
Use everything.
Your job as a professional communicator is to create the states you want inside the
other person using everything you have learned - every skill you have -- your body,
your voice, how you use your body, how you use your voice, the look on your face,
how you use space, how you talk, your language - everything! As a professional
communicator, this is your arsenal. This is your tool box. Your body, your voice is
like a musical instrument. Play it like an exquisite musician.
4.
outcome is your reason for communicating, for being there. Always know what you
want in advance of the communication interaction. The purpose of communication is
to get a result. That is the only purpose for communicating. If you enjoy discussing
philosophical concepts and you just like to chat over coffee because it gives you a
rush discussing lofty notions and ideas -- that is a purpose to get your point across.
Other examples include: to get someone to do something, take an action, change their
point of view, agree with you, to illicit a promise. If you think in terms of results then
it goes back to a well-formed outcome - know your outcome and know whether you
are moving closer to it or away from it by using your sensory acuity.
5.
6.
Always move from the least intrusive maneuver to the most intrusive maneuver.
That is why we use hypnotic language softeners. The whole purpose for using your
language is so that you can take any notion and soften it up, so that it becomes
palatable for just about anyone. You can essentially suggest anything to anyone in a
way that makes it absolutely irresistible to them.
7.
Never, never resist anything you are offered. Instead, use it.
Don't try to stop or resist anything you are offered inside a communication. Don't try
to prevent it. Instead, use it and redirect it. This is what Reframing is all about. This
is what sleight of mouth patterns are about.
8.
Go first!
This means if you want someone else to become excited, you go into the state of
excitement first. This way, you will entrain them into excitement. If they get into
rapport with you because of your pacing and leading, and then you go into a hypnotic
state, they get to join you there. This cuts down the amount of work you have to do.
If you are not in state, they are not going to go into state either.
9.
There is no difference between a highly detailed visualization and a real world event.
The brain does not know the difference between a detailed, associated visualization
and a real event. We know this to be true because when people visualize themselves
in a sporting activity they actually use the very same muscles they use when actually
engaged in that activity. This is also why the technique Change Personal History
works so well - history didnt really change, but we have fooled the brain into
thinking it did! The problem with most people is that they review in their mind, in a
highly detailed fashion, all of their screw ups, faults, problems, and stuck states.
What they should do is stick those in the trash under the sink and review what they
want to occur instead. Since practice is rehearsal and review equals rehearsal, then
you get what you review because you rehearse it.
When you speak and describe things to other people, they will review it in their
mind's eye and ear. They can feel it if you do it skillfully enough! When you say,
"seems closer, everything drops away, focus sharper, time stands still" -- those are
directions. You are telling people what to do.
10.
When the going gets tough, you get what you practice.
Quotes
This pattern allows you to indirectly deliver messages. This is accomplished by relaying
what somebody else said and/or did at another time and place. Since you are apparently
talking about somebody else, the listener may often respond to (associate with) the
message that you want to deliver. For example, "A friend of mine told me that if I
continue to dig in and work hard, that my grades will automatically go up."
Use Of Negation
When we say, "Don't think of the color green", or "Don't think of all the exciting ways
you are going to use these language patterns." Since the brain does not process negatives,
you have to first think of the "color green" and "exciting ways" in order to understand the
sentences. You can use negation to skillfully suggest ideas.
Stacking Presuppositions
Stacking Presuppositions is simply what it's name implies: stacking or chaining together
one presupposition after another. The more that you include in one sentence, the more
confused the listener with become and the more access you will have to the unconscious
portion of their experience.
Example:
"I don't know how quickly you will fully realize how much you have already learned in
this course and as you continue to study this I wonder if you are aware of your
unconscious ability to learn even more now as you read these words on this paper and
discover new ideas floating up in your mind over and over again, don't you?"
Use Of "Or"
The use of the word "or" creates an illusion of choice which allows you to suggest ideas
to people without directly ordering them to do so. The typical example is, "will this be
check or charge?" which gives the customer the illusion of choice all the while the
sentence presupposes that they are going to make a purchase.
Other examples:
Would you like me to read you a story before or after you have your bath?
I don't know whether it will be your right hand or your left hand that will lift first...
Personal
Develop the kind of personal romantic relationships you want
Re-create old and build new lasting relationships
Influence your spouse, clients, friends and children
Discover how important good voice tonality is to any communication
Win a special project or favor from your boss
Help a sick friend to become healthy quickly
Assist your children to make good choices for themselves
Conjunctions:
Conjunction are ways of linking experiences together to imply some kind of
connection between them. The connections do not have to be logical. They can be
illogical.
A) Implied Simultaneity: And .... But, (and not) "You can look at me and feel an
increasing sense of curiosity." "You can sometimes seem confused, but continue
to learn easily."
B) Implied Causatives: Since, As, While, Before, After, During, etc. "Since you are
here, you can easily learn in new and different ways. In fact, the more you do, the
easier it becomes." "As people learn these patterns, they think of creative ways to
use them. Because you are learning, you can use them."
C) Cause-Effect (Direct Causatives): "Learning these language patterns will make
possible for you to pace a persons on-going experience."
2.
Embedded Questions:
Embedded questions provides a way to embed a command within a question. Even
though it is structurally not a question, it is usually responded to as a question. Im
wondering if you can tell me what you want." "Im curious if you can learn
differently." "Im asking myself if you can practice these patterns and have fun."
3.
Embedded Commands:
This structure provides a way to deliver a double message -- one message is
communicated to the conscious mind via words and another is processed by the
unconscious mind via analogue marking, e.g. shifts in tonality, or visual cues to give
the command a higher signal value. "While you are practicing these patterns, you can
be curious as you have fun and learn more."
4.
Quotes:
This structure offers you the flexibility of communicating a message to another
person and associating the content to another speaker and another context. "I
have a friend who is very creative and knows how to enjoy new and different
learning situations."
5.
Conversational Postulates:
This structure provides a way to embed a command within a question. The typical
response to a conversational postulate is the subject acting upon the command, rather
than answering your question. For example, "Can you tell me what you want?" - the
subject will usually respond by telling you what s/he wants instead of replying, Yes.
I can tell you what I want. (Usually if someone answers like this we call them a
smart a __.)
6.
Mind Reading:
Claiming to know the thoughts or feelings of another without specifying the process
by which you came to know the information. "I know that you are wondering..."
7.
Lost Reformative:
Value judgments where the performer of the value judgment is left out. "And it's a
good thing to wonder...."
8.
Complex Equivalence:
Where two things are taken to mean the same thing. "That means ......
9.
Universal Quantifiers:
A set of words which make a universal generalization and usually have no
Referential Index. "Every time anyone does that I
10.
Modal Operators:
Words that imply possibility or necessity, and which form our rules in life. "That you
can learn ... It is possible to do so rapidly " "I must have a calculator to do math."
11.
Nominalizations:
Process words i.e., verbs which have been frozen in time to make them nouns.
"Provide you with new insights, and new understandings ...
12.
Unspecified Verbs:
A verb that does not tell you how it operates. "And you can ...
Presuppositions are assumptions. Linguistically, they are what must be there for the
sentence to make sense, rather than what is directly stated. Every sentence in the English
language contains presuppositions. Thus, when we speak, presuppositions are
automatically accepted. In other words, what we are assuming to be true is automatically
accepted by the listener as true because of the structure of our sentence.
For example, if I say, Would you like red or white wine with dinner?", you automatically
assume that you will be having wine. I did not ask, Would you like some wine?", I
simply asked you what kind of wine you will be having.
Wow! The fact that a listener will automatically assume that what we imply to be true, is
actually true means that we can use this to our advantage to become more persuasive with
others! We can also clean up" our own language to help us make our own changes as
well. After you learn about presuppositions, go back to Deciding What Beliefs to
Change and read what you wrote down. What is presupposed in your statements? The
presuppositions are your beliefs because those are the things that must be true for the
sentence to make sense!!!
The following is from the book, The Hypnotic Patterns of Milton H. Erickson, Vol. I" by
Richard Bandler and John Grinder.
1.
Simple Presuppositions
These are the syntactic environments in which the existence of some entity is
required for the sentence to make sense (to be either true or false). Note: Arrow
means presupposes.
A) Proper Names.
(George Smith left the party early.) -> (There exists someone named George
Smith)
B) Pronouns.
Her, him, they (I saw him leave.) -> (There exists some male [i.e., him]).
C) Define Descriptions.
(I liked the woman with the silver earrings.) -> (There exists a woman with
silver earrings.)
D) Generic Noun Phrases.
Noun arguments standing for a whole class. (If wombats have no trees to climb in
they are sad.) -> (There are wombats.)
E) Some Quantifiers.
All, each, every, some, many, few, none (If some of the dragons show up, Im
leaving.) -> (There are dragons.)
2.
Complete Presuppositions
Cases in which more than the simple existence of an element is presupposed.
A) Relative Clauses.
Complex noun arguments, with a noun followed by a phrase beginning with who,
which, or that. (Several of the women who had spoken to you left the shop.) ->
(Several women had spoken to you.)
B) Subordinate Clauses of Time.
Clauses identified by cue words, before, after, during, as, since, prior, when,
while (If the judge was home when I stopped by her house, she didnt answer her
door.) -> (I stopped by the judge's house.)
C) Cleft Sentence.
Adjectives:
New, old, former, present, previous. "If Fred wears his new shoes, I'll be blown
away.
Fred had/has old shoes.
2.
Ordinal Numeral:
First, second, third, fourth, another. "I'll have another glass of beer."
already had at least one beer.
3.
I have
4.
Awareness Predicates:
Realize, know, already, notice. "Do you realize how powerful language is?"
Language is powerful.
5.
Change-of-Place Verbs:
Come, go, leave, depart, enter, arrive. "If Mary has left home, she'll be lost."
Mary has been home.
6.
Change Verbs:
Begin, end, stop, start, continue, proceed, already, yet, still. "My bet is that Harry will
continue to smile."
Harry has been smiling.
7.
Change-of-State Verbs:
Change, transform, turn into, become. "If May becomes a hippie, I'll be surprised."
May is not a hippie now.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Negative Question:
"Didnt you want to talk to me?"
Spurious Not:
"Don't you think your not being a little unfair?"
Exercise - Presuppositions
In the following sentence, please state what is presupposed.
1.
"If the cat meows again, I'll have to put him outside."
2.
"It was her friendly smile that made me walk up and say hi."
3.
"If only he had come home on time, the party wouldn't have gotten out of control."
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
access relaxation. B reads A two of his sentences, using tempo and tone so that his voice
inflects downward toward the end of each sentence. B speaks at the tempo of the
background music, using linkage in and at the end of each sentence and points to C who
continues maintaining the same beat, reading off two sentences to A. Continue the round
and then Rotate so that each person is the subject.
Exercise - Generating Conversational Postulates
1.
2.
Make a note of what effect you think your Conversational Postulate will have on the
listener.
3.
Use your Conversational Postulate on another member of your exercise group and
see if the effect you predicted is actually generated.
4.
2.
3.
Get feedback from your group as to your tonality; i.e., did what you say sound like a
command or like a question.
2.
3.
4.
2.
Each group of 3 generate a list of 15 examples (three examples of each) of: Deletion,
Nominalization, Cause/Effect, Mind Reading, and Universal Quantifiers.
3.
One person from each of the paired groups changes place with the other. The two
people remaining in the original group read the list of fifteen example sentences to
the new person. The listener reports their response to each of the sentences.
4.
The groups exchange a second person and then a third; each time the new person
listens to the list of sentences and reports their response. The other members of the
group compare the three listener's responses.
Exercise - Inducing Altered State Using Milton Model Patterns Exercise Seventeen
1.
Using Milton Model patterns, person A induces a light trance state in person B.
2.
Continuing to use the patterns, suggest that Person B can learn easily and integrate all
the learnings in fun ways in the days and weeks and months to come.
3.
2.
Rotate.
Using handshake interrupt put person into trance state. Using hypnotic tonality and
command inflection have them deepen their trance state. Anchor the trance when
they are where they want to be. Have subject anchor trance as well.
2.
Create an "out of trance", normal alert refreshed state and anchor it. Have the subject
anchor it also.
3.
Give suggestions for tenacity and unconscious alignment in problem solving - that
whenever a problem arises this person will search comfortably for solutions and
resources. Fire off out of trance anchor.
4.
Break state - Test - fire off trance anchor. When person returns, amplify suggestions
and then fire off the out of trance" anchor.
5.
Break state - have subject test own anchor - give suggestions to themself and fire off
the awake, refreshed alert anchor. Rotate.
when you
how delighted will you be
easily
to the point
as you
if you were to
and (Submodality variation)
and that means/causes
in such a way as to
immediately
imagine
suppose for a moment
mysteriously
pretend
curious
think about
enchant
2.
3.
Write 25 sentences that contain Linkage (transitional) words. Underline the Linkage
word/s in each sentence.
4.
5.
6.
Write 15 sentences which demonstrate the use of Mind Reading and Universal
Quantifier. Underline the words that represent the Mind Reading and Universal
Quantifier.
7.
8.
9.
Based on the linguistic pacing and leading strategy of the "yes set", write a series of 8
phrases or statements that would pace the reader and then lead the reader into some
internal state of consciousness that presupposes curiosity.
10.
11.
Write 25 examples of a sentence that presupposes learning and fun are connected.
12.
Write 25 sentences that each presuppose that learning has already occurred.
13.
Identify Presuppositions from friend's letters, your own letters and newspaper articles
note patterns.
14.
Write 6 one page hypnotic induction 3 straight and 3 about your business.
15.
16.
17.
Milton Model
Deletion
Transitional Words
- Temporal Predicates
Causal Modeling
- Implied Simultaneity
- Implied Causative
- Direct Causative
Universal Quantifiers
Embedded Questions
Comparative Deletion
Conversational Postulates
Lost Performative
Quotes
- Direct - you Indirect - others
Cause-Effect
Embedded Commands
Mind-Reading
Tag Questions
- Negative and Positive Tags
Nominalization
Complex Equivalence
Unspecified Verb
Double Nominalizations
- Compound Nouns
Modal Operators
- MO of Impossibility
- MO of Necessity
- MO of Desire
- MO of Possibility
- MO of Certainty
Ambiguity
- Punctuation
- Phonological
- Syntactic
- Scope
Stacking Realities
- Messages Inside Messages
have learned to make distinctions in language that others have not. These successful
people know when and how to ask the right questions to get them the information that
they need. They negotiate better, they are more in tune with the needs of their clients and
families, and they understand the meaning of the words that other's speak.
RESPONSE
PREDICTION
Complex Equivalence
(Go after sensory grounded
experience) (when two experiences
are interpreted as synonymous)
Ex: She's always yelling at me ...
she hates me.
Counter-example requested
through Referential Index Shift
Mind Reading
(Knowing internal state)
Ex: You don't like me.
Recover counter-example.
Lost Performative
(Value Judgments)
Ex: It's bad to be inconsistent.
Cause - Effect
Ex: You make me sad.
Generalization
PATTERN
RESPONSE
PREDICTION
Never?
What would happen if she did?
Recover counter-examples
Recover effects, outcome.
Universal Quantifiers
(all, every, always, none)
Ex: She never listens to me.
Modal Operations
1.
2.
Nominalizations
Can you put it in wheelbarrow?
Process words that have been
turned into nouns.
Ex: We have to improve our
communication.
Deletion
PATTERN
RESPONSE
PREDICTION
Recover Deletion.
Representational System
Unspecified Verbs
Ex: He rejected me
Deletions
1.
2.
Comparative Deletion
(better, best, more/less, worse)
Simple deletions
Ex: I am uncomfortable.
2.
Construct a representation of that in your own mind - one which is based only on
what they say.
3.
Ask yourself: What's missing? What or who is being limited? What just doesn't make
sense?
2.
Form a tentative model, or hypothesis about what they do - one which is based on
what they offer you.
3.
Ask yourself: What is missing? What else has to be there? Is this enough to succeed
at what the person can do so well?
Be in Rapport.
2.
3.
Be focused without rushing. Take your time without wasting time (i.e. relaxed while
directed).
4.
5.
From time to time, repeat back their words - but they must be their exact words!
6.
If the subject doesn't know where to start, offer them a "menu," but only if the
following conditions are met:
There is a long delay before speaking.
The subject's non-verbal behavior indicates that they have no representation of
what to say next.
They seem to be sliding into a state of confusion (and that is something you don't
want at the time.)
2.
3.
4.
5.
You don't appreciate me anymore. You don't kiss me when you leave for the office in
the morning.
6.
7.
My partner's pessimistic attitude is the major cause of our recent economic failures.
8.
I want to stay here longer, but I know my wife will get angry at me if I do.
9.
10.
2.
3.
4.
5.
You don't appreciate me anymore. You don't kiss me when you leave for the office in
the morning.
6.
7.
My partner's pessimistic attitude is the major cause of our recent economic failures.
8.
I want to stay here longer, but I know my husband will get angry at me if I do.
9.
10.
UV - Unspecified Verb
N - Nominalization
CE - Cause Effect
LP - Lost Performative
CEq - Complex Equivalence
1.
2.
He learned quickly.
Challenge
Prediction
3.
I tried that.
Challenge
Prediction
4.
5.
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
1.
2.
3.
I found ft.
Challenge
Prediction
4.
5.
Common Distinction
Your Sentences.
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
4. He believes in me.
Challenge
Prediction
Prediction
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
5. It was her friendly smile that made me walk over and say hi.
Challenge
Prediction
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Prediction
Common Distinction
Your Sentences
EVERYDAY SET WELL FORMED OUTCOMES FOR YOUR DAY AND FOR
EACH INTERACTION. This is extremely important. Take a few moments to decide
what it is you want, how you will get it, how you will know when you have achieved
it And whether or not it's ecological.
2.
3.
Assist others in Well Formed Outcomes. Use the manual if you want. Do at least 6.
4.
Pick out the Meta Model distinctions that you find in friends, business associates and
family letters to you. Circle them and use the code to note the distinction.
5.
Do the same with magazine articles and newspaper editorial. Do at least 5. As your
skill increases, listen for and note Meta Model distinctions on TV and Radio talk
shows.
6.
If you have any of your own letters, diaries or journals, Meta Model your own
writing. This will give you valuable insight into your own thinking process.
7.
As you converse with others, listen to what distinctions you hear and then ask the
appropriate Meta Model Question to elicit the information you most desire.
Remember you do not have to question every distinction - only those that will get
you the information you want.
8.
The patterns you are learning each session are important patterns for personal evolution
and for assisting others to make changes. Each pattern is part of a whole, like nested
Russian dolls.
For you to continue to benefit most from this training program, it is important for you to
continue to practice each area you are learning. Those who receive the greatest rewards
are those who commit to making a difference in their lives by rigorously applying what
they learn each and every day.
Eventually you will begin to see how everything fits and works together. These models
are about the structure of communication with another person as well as one self. While
learning and practicing, it is equally important for you to maintain an optimum learning
state. You can learn quickest when you relax, be curious and maintain an outrageous
sense of fun.
Set daily practice goals (Well-formed Outcomes) that you can achieve alone or with study
group partners. Make it a part of each day to focus on succeeding even in small areas of
your life. Soon you may find yourself absolutely surprised and delighted to begin to
notice how the other areas are changing too. Haven't they? And take credit for the
changes you are making, aren't you? Live, love and laugh enjoying each day to the fullest
Visual
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Number of images
Location in space
Distance
Bordered / Panoramic
Color / Black & White
Moving / Still
Shape
Size (relative to life size)
Horizontal & Vertical
Disassociated / Associated
3D or Flat
Brightness relative to normal
Foreground / Background
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Visual
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Number of images
Location in space
Distance
Bordered / Panoramic
Color / Black & White
Moving / Still
Shape
Size (relative to life size)
Horizontal & Vertical
Disassociated / Associated
3D or Flat
Brightness relative to normal
Foreground / Background
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Visual
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Experience 1
Experience 2
Number of images
Location in space
Distance
Bordered / Panoramic
Color / Black & White
Moving / Still
Shape
Size (relative to life size)
Horizontal & Vertical
Disassociated / Associated
3D or Flat
Brightness relative to normal
Foreground / Background
Auditory
Kinesthetic