Oodles of

Poodles
Written & Illustrated
by

Dean Bagley

Copyright 2010 by Dean Bagley. All rights reserved.

Page 1

Baggy Gator was in a risk-taking mood as he sat in his easy

chair and looked at his mail. He was trying to decide which
envelopes were bills and should be either opened last or, better
yet, not at all.
He saw a letter from his sister, Snipper. He opened it with
excitement, hoping for good news. It read:
Dear brother Baggy,
Well, Biff and I took off for Hawaii to do our second
honeymoon after they drained Niagara Swamp. Hawaii is
nice, but you all said there were swamps in Hawaii and,
Baggy dear, let me assure you that there are none. Weve
looked. We asked the tour guides. We did everything. No
swamps.
So, Biff and I are off again to look for another place to
second honeymoon. Thanks for keeping Little Nipper for us
while we do it. Youre sweet.
Love. . . Snipper
Baggy laid the letter down and gulped hard. He loved his
nephew Little Nipper and wished he could say that he loved
the messes the precocious prankster got him into. He looked
down at the pile of mail again. One of the envelopes caught his
attention. Printed on the outside was an eye-catching phrase:
You are a Winner!

Page 2

Hmmm, said Baggy, Im a winner, huh? Lets see.

He opened the letter and read:
Congratulations! You have won the NAME THE
CEREAL contest. Out of 20,000 submissions of names
for our new cereal, your entry was chosen the winner. Our
judges loved it and were convinced that it will be a bestseller on the cereal shelf in supermarkets across the USA.
So, if Im a winner, said Baggy, what have I won?
What have I won? you are probably asking yourself.
You have won a lifetime supply of this amazing cereal. You
will never go without breakfast again. Truckloads are even
now on the way to your hometown to deliver it. Enjoy!
When mysterious circumstances occur, only one name
comes to Baggys lips.
Nipper! he called. Oh, Little Nipper. My neat, nifty
nephew. May I see you in the living room, please.
Little Nipper came into the room, a questioning look on his
face. What is it, unca Baggy?
I just got a letter telling me Im a winner in a Name the
Cereal contest. What contest? What cereal? I never entered a
contest. I didnt know anything about a contest. Do you know
anything about it? babbled Baggy without pausing for breath.
We won the cereal naming contest? Oh boy! whooped
Nipper. We won, we won, we won, he cheered, bouncing
around the living room and doing cartwheels.
Baggy collapsed back into his chair. Tell me about it.

Page 3

Its just a contest I wanted to enter. So I entered you.

Nipper paused and looked down at his feet apologetically. Im
just a minor, he said.

Which cereal and which contest? asked Baggy.

Well, you know how cereal always has to be shaped like
something. Makes it more interesting, said Nipper.
Yeah, Ive known cereals to be shaped like animals,
honeycombs, stars, moons, replied Baggy.
Oh, that was way back in your days, unca Baggy. Things
have changed since then. Now cereal is shaped like things we
kids can identify with today. Thats what this cereal you named
was shaped like.
Shaped like what?
Why DNA molecules, of course. DNA molecules linked and
chained together into delicious strands. Yummy!
I remember when cereal was just shaped fun and looked
cute. On the back of the box were simple games and puzzles to
have fun with. Dont you ever crave to have a little fun?
Page 4

Fun? Unca Baggy, Nipper said disapprovingly. When

there are subjects that are so much more important? The
serious mind wants serious things to contemplate and
consider.
And what, may I ask, professor, was my winning name
that I gave this DNA molecule shaped cereal?
Chromosome Chrunchies.
Every now and then Baggy goes quiet and gets a blank look
on his face. Dumbfounded is the better word. He did this now
and looked at Nipper.
Chromosome Crunchies, he finally said in a low voice.
Chromosome Crunchies is, I believe, what I heard. Right?
Right as rain, unca Baggy, but with an H in Crunchies.
Goes along with the H in Chromosomes. Chromosomes and
DNA are the same thing.
Something caught Nippers eye on the television. He
pointed excitedly. Oh look, unca Baggy. There it is, already
on TV. A commercial for Chromosome Chrunchies!

Page 5

Baggy sighed and shook his head in disbelief. A knock came

on the front door.
Now whos knocking at this time on a Saturday morning?
said Baggy. He went to see who it was.
He opened the door and saw standing there in her typical
60s styled clothing and holding a not-so-typical poodle in her
arms was Lillia DiValli, his very best buddy.
Lillia, exclaimed Baggy. Whats that in your arms and
what are you doing here?
In that order, its a poodle and Im dropping him off,
replied Lillia.

What? shouted Baggy.

Im dropping him off. Surely you heard me that time. Am I
slurring my words?
You mean you want me to take care of this unknown dog?
Very good, Baggy. You do catch on fast. Im impressed at
your quick mind, said Lillia as she scooted past Baggy and
made her way into the house.
Page 6

I told my Aunt Frieda Id watch her new poodle while shes

gone for the day. And then
She put the dog down.
The worst was yet to come. Baggy winced and waited.
and then I read in the paper of a seminar at the college
that I want to take. It takes place today only, so I need to have
you watch him while Im in class.
Lillia is rather hyperactive with an agile mind. She loves
trying and learning new things, but is constantly overdoing it by
taking on more things than her time and schedule can manage.
Thats where Baggy comes in to baby-sit her overloads.
What class are you taking, aunt Lillia? asked Nipper who
was petting the new pooch.
Im going to learn cosmetology, she replied.
Cosmetology. Good class, said Baggy, who had calmed
down. Youll enjoy being weightless in space.
Youre thinking of cosmonauts. Ill be studying
cosmetology, said Lillia, impatiently.
Ohhhhh, said Baggy, cosmetology. Well, youll like that,
too. Im Virgo. Nipper is Pisces. What are you?
Lillia glared at Baggy, her brows furrowing.
Im fuming!
Hmmmm. Thats a new sign to me. Fuming . . . what
month is that? asked Baggy, quite puzzled.
Cosmetology, yelled Lillia, now exasperated, is the study
of hair cutting. Im going to learn to cut and style hair!
Baggy bent to pet the poodle and twisted the curly hair on
his head. Hey, you could cut his mop-top. Poof it up or tease
it or something.

Page 7

Ive got to go, said Lillia, looking at her watch and

ignoring Baggys comments. Aunt Frieda is coming back
late this afternoon. My class will be through in a few hours, so
Ill get back, pick Foofie up, and be home with him before she
gets there. Is that all clear, Mr. Quick-witted?
What isnt clear, my dear, is that word you just used. Foofie.
What is a Foofie?
Foofie is the dogs name. Aunt Frieda thought it sounded
French, so she named him Foofie.
Hes a nice dog, unca Baggy; and smart, too, said Nipper
who got Foofie to stand up on his hind legs by holding a dog
biscuit over his nose.

Lillia was already outside and heading down the sidewalk.

No time to talk about it. Im late. Ill be back in three hours.
Have Foofie ready to go. Bye-eee. Thanks. Youre a dear.
Baggy watched as Lillia disappeared into the distance. He
turned to go back into the house.
Nipper, better take Foofie into the kitchen and feed him
something. Were stuck with him for a few hours.
Little Nipper led the poodle into the kitchen. Baggy sat in his
easy chair to finish reading the mail.
Page 8

Hours later, at the college, Lillia was wrapping up the

seminar on cosmetology. The course was taught by Glitter
and Beatnik Bunny, two hairstylists who owned a salon called
The Hare-Do Bunnies. Glitter was in her usual frivolous mood
and wanted to try something experimental on Lillias hair. It
seemed simple and harmless enough when Glitter explained it.
So, Lillia agreed to let her do it.

Later, Baggy finished reading his last letter when the silence
was broken by a knock on the door. He went to see who it
was. He opened the door and almost screamed in horror at
what he saw.
The strange figure was recognizable as Lillia until you got up
to the top of the head and saw the hair-do if thats what you
could call it.
This so-called style was a large cloud of puffed and poofed
up hair which looked like a giant ball of cotton candy.
Nipper, cried Baggy at last, I think the poodles girlfriend
is here for a visit. Go tell him, okay?
Page 9

The figure let out a howl. Baggy Gator! Dont you say a
word. Not a peep about my hair. Not one solitary peep.
But, what happened? asked Baggy, recoiling.
Well, the class was taught by Glitter and Beatnik Bunny,
who usually cut my hair. Anyway, Glitter asked me if she could
try some things on my hair. So, I let her.
Hmmm, said Baggy, examining the hair, but not wanting
to laugh and make matters worse.

Itll wear out, she bleated. Give it time. By the way, where
is Foofie? Ive got to get him back before aunt Frieda returns.
Hes with Nipper. Nipper was feeding him. Ill get him.
He called to the kitchen. Nipper! Lillias back to pick up the
poodle. Bring him here, please.
Nippers voice came not from the kitchen, but from his
room.
I dont have him, unca Baggy, said Nipper, entering the
living room. I thought you were going to look after him. I only
fed him.
You were also playing with him. What happened?
Page 10

Nipper pointed to the front door that was standing wide

open. Somebody forgot to close the door. Maybe hes
outside.
Baggy and Lillia collapsed on the sofa and let out Oh no!
at the same time,
Finally, Lillia spoke. I dropped him off just a few hours ago.
You mean youve lost him since then?
Well, uh, it seems that way, said Baggy.
Oh no, what will my aunt Frieda say? This is her first
poodle. She just got him and he doesnt even have a collar
with his name on it.
Nippers face lit up. He had an idea. He ran out the front
door exclaiming, Ive got an idea how to find Foofie. Wait
here. Ill be back later.
Wait, shouted Baggy, tell us what youre going to do.
Youll find out, said Nipper as he ran down the street.
Baggy got up and closed the door. He turned to Lillia. You
know, as long as were waiting for Nipper to try his idea, you
can show me what you learned and give me a haircut.
Would you kindly not mention the word hair cut, please,
said Lillia, with a touch of pain in the voice. She began walking
through the house shouting Here, Foofie! She lifted some of
the pillows on the sofa, took a glance, then put them back, and
called, Here, Foofie! again.
What are you doing, may I ask? asked Baggy.
Im looking for Foofie here in the house. We have not
c oncluded that he ever went outside and he might still be here,
maybe asleep.
Hmmm, said Baggy nodding in agreement, the sound
sense of it all sinking in. He began going through the house
calling Here, Foofie along with Lillia.
Page 11

They were interrupted by a banging on the door along with

the yipping and howling of dogs. They heard Nipper begging
unca Baggy to open the door. Baggy hurried to the door and
opened it.
A pack of dogs rushed past Baggy into the house. They were
all poodles and all wearing leashes that dragged Nipper along
in their path.
Whoa, whoa! shouted Nipper as they continued to drag

him mercilessly through the house. Help, unca Baggy, help!

Baggy grabbed the leashes out of Nippers hand and finally
slowed the dogs to a halt.
Whats going on? asked Baggy, looking puzzled at the
pack of poodles who, in turn, looked puzzled back at him.
I thought if Foofie was in the neighborhood, I had a scheme
to bring out all the neighborhood poodles to see if one of them
might be him.
What was your scheme? asked Lillia.
I painted a sign that said Will walk all poodles for
FREE. I didnt have long to wait before all these poodles were
handed to me, by different people, for me to walk.
Page 12

Not a bad idea, said Lillia, but not one of them is Foofie.
These poodles have collars and Foofie had none.

Baggy opened his mouth to make a comment but was

stopped by a knock at the door.
This is getting ridiculous, he groaned. Every time I answer
the door, theres a new problem. One of you wouldnt mind
answering it, would you?
Its your house, Baggy, answered Lillia, sharply.
Baggy shrugged his shoulders and opened the door. It was a
man in a truck drivers uniform holding a box of cereal.
Mr. Gator? the man inquired.
Uh, yes, answered Baggy.
Were delivering your lifetime supply of Chromosome
Chrunchies. And heres a box to keep them in. Just sign here.
Baggy signed the receiving form and the man went to the
open door and shouted, Okay Joe, leter go!
Page 13

There was a low rumbling sound that got louder and louder.
Suddenly, through the front door poured an avalanche of loose
cereal that could refill the box forever. It filled the living room.

The poodles were all hungry from the exercise, so they

began to eat the cereal. There was much munching and
crunching as they did. Then something began to happen.
The little poodles started to shake and get bigger. Then
they got larger. Soon, they were too huge for the house and
crashed a large hole in the roof to get outside. The noise was
deafening.

Page 14

Whats this all about? cried Baggy over the tumult. He ran
outside and was goggling at the hole in his roof.
Its the cereal, unca Baggy. Its the Chromosome
Chrunchies! yelled Nipper, in alarm.
What about the Chromosome Chrunchies? cried Lillia,
over all the noise.
DNA is the essence of life and growth, said Little Nipper.
It must have given the poodles too much life and growth and
caused them to get so big. Look, here on the box it says,
CAUTION: Unexpected results may occur if poodles eat this
cereal.
Unexpected things did occur. The giant poodles suddenly got
baffled looks on their faces and began to shake again. Then
they started shrinking, smaller and smaller.
Soon, they were back to normal size, but still perplexed.
Lillia came running up with a poodle in her arms. It was
Foofie. Look Baggy! she cheered. I found Foofie. He
was asleep in the laundry hamper and when I walked by, he
popped his head out.
Hooray! cried Little Nipper joyfully. A happy ending. Ill
take the poodles back to their owners and no one will be the
wiser. Isnt that great, unca Baggy? He paused and looked
around. Wheres unca Baggy, aunt Lillia?
He went into the kitchen to get something. Wait, here he
comes.
Baggy came out of the kitchen with a bowl of Chromosome
Chrunchies. The bowl was filled to overflowing as Baggy ate
the contents with a spoon.
Baggy Gator, exclaimed Lillia, what do you think you are
doing eating that cereal? It has unexpected results on different
things.

Page 15

I know, I know, said Baggy, between crunches. I have a

bone to pick with that Chromosome Chrunchies company,
and I would like to be the appropriate size when I do.
He took another bite.
Mmmm, good, he mumbled with his mouth full.
The end

Page 16