StephanieMayer New Moon

New Moon
Text copyright 2006 by Stephenie Meyer
All rights reserved
Little, Brown rd !o"p ny
# chette Boo$ %ro&p 'SA (2)( Aven&e o* the A"eric s, New +or$, N+ (0020 ,isit o&r -eb site t www.lbteens co"
/irst 0dition Septe"ber 2006
The ch r cters nd events portr yed in this boo$ re *ictitio&s. Any si"il rity to re l persons, living or de d, is coincident l nd not intended by the &thor
Meyer, Stephenie, (1)23New Moon novel 4 b5 Stephe"e Meyer3(st ed p c"
S&"" ry -hen the !&llens, incl&ding her beloved 0dw rd, le ve /or$s r ther th n ris$ reve ling th t they re v "pires, it is l"ost too "&ch *or eighteen6ye r6old Bell to be r, b&t she *inds sol ce in her *riend 7 cob &ntil he is dr wn into c&lt nd ch nges in terrible w ys
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?rinted in the 'nited St tes o* A"eric
For my dad, Stephen Morgan3 No one has ever been given more loving and unconditional support than I have been given by you. I love you, too.
These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and po der, !hich, as they kiss, consume. Bo"eo nd 7&liet, Act II, Scene "I
PREFACE
8 /0LT L8C0 8 -AS TBA??0D 8N EN0 E/ T#ES0 T0BB8/+8N% night" res, the one where yo& h ve to r&n, r&n till yo&r l&ngs b&rst, b&t yo& c nFt " $e yo&r body "ove * st eno&gh. My legs see"ed to "ove slower nd slower s 8 *o&ght "y w y thro&gh the c llo&s crowd, b&t the h nds on the h&ge cloc$ tower didnFt slow. -ith relentless, &nc ring *orce, they t&rned inexor bly tow rd the end3the end o* everything. B&t this w s no dre ", nd, &nli$e the night" re, 8 w snFt r&nning *or my li*eG 8 w s r cing to s ve so"ething in*initely "ore precio&s. My own li*e "e nt little to "e tod y. Alice h d s id there w s good ch nce we wo&ld both die here. ?erh ps the o&tco"e wo&ld be di**erent i* she werenFt tr pped by the brilli nt s&nlightG only 8 w s *ree to r&n cross this bright, crowded sH& re. And 8 co&ldnFt r&n * st eno&gh.
So it didnFt " tter to "e th t we were s&rro&nded by o&r extr ordin rily d ngero&s ene"ies. As the cloc$ beg n to toll o&t the ho&r, vibr ting &nder the soles o* "y sl&ggish *eet, 8 $new 8 w s too l te3 nd 8 w s gl d so"ething bloodthirsty w ited in the wings. /or in * iling t this, 8 *or*eited ny desire to live. The cloc$ tolled g in, nd the s&n be t down *ro" the ex ct center point o* the s$y.
1. PARTY
8 -AS N8N0T+6N8N0 ?E8NT N8N0 ?0B!0NT S'B0 8 -AS dre "ing. The re sons 8 w s so cert in were th t, *irst, 8 w s st nding in bright sh *t o* s&nlight3the $ind o* blinding cle r s&n th t never shone on "y driIIly new ho"etown in /or$s, - shington 3 nd second, 8 w s loo$ing t "y %r nd" M rie. %r n h d been de d *or six ye rs now, so th t w s solid evidence tow rd the dre " theory. %r n h dnFt ch nged "&chG her * ce loo$ed J&st the s "e s 8 re"e"bered it. The s$in w s so*t nd withered, bent into tho&s nd tiny cre ses th t cl&ng gently to the bone &nderne th. Li$e dried pricot, b&t with p&** o* thic$ white h ir st nding o&t in clo&d ro&nd it. E&r "o&ths3hers wiIened pic$er3spre d into the s "e s&rprised h l*6s"ile t J&st the s "e ti"e. App rently, she h dnFt been expecting to see "e, either. 8 w s bo&t to s$ her H&estionG 8 h d so " ny3-h t w s she doing here in "y cre "K -h t h d she been &p to in the p st six ye rsK - s ?op o$ y, nd h d they *o&nd e ch other, wherever they wereK3b&t she opened her "o&th when 8 did, so 8 stopped to let her go *irst. She p &sed, too, nd then we %oth s"iled t the little w$w rdness. LBell ML 8t w snFt %r n who c lled "y n "e, nd we both t&rned to see the ddition to o&r s" ll re&nion. 8 didnFt h ve to loo$ to $now who it w sG this w s voice 8 wo&ld $now nywhere3$now, nd respond to, whether 8 w s w $e or sleepN or even de d, 8Fd bet. The voice 8Fd w l$ thro&gh *ire *or3or, less dr " tic lly, slosh every d y thro&gh the cold nd endless r in *or. 0dw rd. 0ven tho&gh 8 w s lw ys thrilled to see hi"3conscio&s or otherwise3 nd even tho&gh 8 w s almost positive th t 8 w s dre "ing, 8 p nic$ed s 0dw rd w l$ed tow rd &s thro&gh the gl ring s&nlight. 8 p nic$ed bec &se %r n didnFt $now th t 8 w s in love with v "pire3nobody $new th t3so how w s 8 s&pposed to expl in the * ct th t the brilli nt s&nbe "s were sh ttering o** his s$in into tho&s nd r inbow sh rds li$e he w s " de o* cryst l or di "ondK !ell, #ran, yon might have noticed that my boyfriend glitters. It$s %ust something he does in the sun. &on$t orry about it'
-h t w s he doingK The whole re son he lived in /or$s, the r iniest pl ce in the world, w s so th t he co&ld be o&tside in the d yti"e witho&t exposing his * "ilyFs secret. +et here he w s, strolling gr ce*&lly tow rd "e3with the "ost be &ti*&l s"ile on his ngelFs * ce3 s i* 8 were the only one here. 8n th t second, 8 wished th t 8 w s not the one exception to his "ysterio&s t lentG 8 &s& lly *elt gr te*&l th t 8 w s the only person whose tho&ghts he co&ldnFt he r J&st s cle rly s i* they were spo$en lo&d. B&t now 8 wished he co&ld he r "e, too, so th t he co&ld he r the w rning 8 w s scre "ing in "y he d. 8 shot p nic$ed gl nce b c$ t %r n, nd s w th t it w s too l te. She w s J&st t&rning to st re b c$ t "e, her eyes s l r"ed s "ine. 0dw rd3still s"iling so be &ti*&lly th t "y he rt *elt li$e it w s going to swell &p nd b&rst thro&gh "y chest3p&t his r" ro&nd "y sho&lder nd t&rned to * ce "y gr nd"other. %r nFs expression s&rprised "e. 8nste d o* loo$ing horri*ied, she w s st ring t "e sheepishly, s i* w iting *or scolding. And she w s st nding in s&ch str nge position3one r" held w$w rdly w y *ro" her body, stretched o&t nd then c&rled ro&nd the ir. Li$e she h d her r" ro&nd so"eone 8 co&ldnFt see, so"eone invisibleN Enly then, s 8 loo$ed t the bigger pict&re, did 8 notice the h&ge gilt *r "e th t enclosed "y gr nd"otherFs *or". 'nco"prehending, 8 r ised the h nd th t w snFt wr pped ro&nd 0dw rdFs w ist nd re ched o&t to to&ch her. She "i"ic$ed the "ove"ent ex ctly, "irrored it. B&t where o&r *ingers sho&ld h ve "et, there w s nothing b&t cold gl ssN -ith diIIying Jolt, "y dre " br&ptly bec "e night" re. There w s no %r n. Th t w s me. Me in "irror. Me3 ncient, cre sed, nd withered. 0dw rd stood beside "e, c sting no re*lection, excr&ci tingly lovely nd *orever seventeen. #e pressed his icy, per*ect lips g inst "y w sted chee$. L# ppy birthd y,L he whispered.
8 wo$e with st rt3"y eyelids popping open wide3 nd g sped. D&ll gr y light, the * "ili r light o* n overc st "orning, too$ the pl ce o* the blinding s&n in "y dre ". (ust a dream, 8 told "ysel*. It as only a dream. 8 too$ deep bre th, nd then J&"ped g in when "y l r" went o**. The little c lend r in the corner o* the cloc$Fs displ y in*or"ed "e th t tod y w s Septe"ber thirteenth. Enly dre ", b&t prophetic eno&gh in one w y, t le st. Tod y w s "y birthd y. 8 w s o**ici lly eighteen ye rs old. 8Fd been dre ding this d y *or "onths.
All thro&gh the per*ect s&""er3the h ppiest s&""er 8 h d ever h d, the h ppiest s&""er anyone any here h d ever h d, nd the r iniest s&""er in the history o* the Ely"pic ?enins&l 3this ble $ d te h d l&r$ed in "b&sh, w iting to spring. And now th t it h d hit, it w s even worse th n 8Fd *e red it wo&ld be. 8 co&ld *eel it38 w s older. 0very d y 8 got older, b&t this w s di**erent, worse, H& nti*i ble. 8 w s eighteen. And 0dw rd never wo&ld be. -hen 8 went to br&sh "y teeth, 8 w s l"ost s&rprised th t the * ce in the "irror h dnFt ch nged. 8 st red t "ysel*, loo$ing *or so"e sign o* i"pending wrin$les in "y ivory s$in. The only cre ses were the ones on "y *orehe d, tho&gh, nd 8 $new th t i* 8 co&ld " n ge to rel x, they wo&ld dis ppe r. 8 co&ldnFt. My eyebrows st yed lodged in worried line over "y nxio&s brown eyes. It as %ust a dream, 8 re"inded "ysel* g in. 7&st dre "N b&t lso "y worst night" re. 8 s$ipped bre $* st, in h&rry to get o&t o* the ho&se s H&ic$ly s possible. 8 w snFt entirely ble to void "y d d, nd so 8 h d to spend *ew "in&tes cting cheer*&l. 8 honestly tried to be excited bo&t the gi*ts 8Fd s$ed hi" not to get "e, b&t every ti"e 8 h d to s"ile, it *elt li$e 8 "ight st rt crying. 8 str&ggled to get grip on "ysel* s 8 drove to school. The vision o* %r n38 wo&ld not thin$ o* it s "e3w s h rd to get o&t o* "y he d. 8 co&ldnFt *eel nything b&t desp ir &ntil 8 p&lled into the * "ili r p r$ing lot behind /or$s #igh School nd spotted 0dw rd le ning "otionlessly g inst his polished silver ,olvo, li$e " rble trib&te to so"e *orgotten p g n god o* be &ty. The dre " h d not done hi" J&stice. And he w s w iting there *or me, J&st the s "e s every other d y. Desp ir "o"ent rily v nishedG wonder too$ its pl ce. 0ven *ter h l* ye r with hi", 8 still co&ldnFt believe th t 8 deserved this degree o* good *ort&ne. #is sister Alice w s st nding by his side, w iting *or "e, too. E* co&rse 0dw rd nd Alice werenFt re lly rel ted =in /or$s the story w s th t ll the !&llen siblings were dopted by Dr. ! rlisle !&ller nd his wi*e, 0s"e, both pl inly too yo&ng to h ve teen ge children5, b&t their s$in w s precisely the s "e p le sh de, their eyes h d the s "e str nge golden tint, with the s "e deep, br&ise6li$e sh dows bene th the". #er * ce, li$e his, w s lso st rtlingly be &ti*&l. To so"eone in the $now3so"eone li$e "e3these si"il rities " r$ed the" *or wh t they were. The sight o* Alice w iting there3her t wny eyes brilli nt with excite"ent, nd s" ll silver6 wr pped sH& re in her h nds3" de "e *rown. 8Fd told Alice 8 didnFt w nt nything, anything, not gi*ts or even ttention, *or "y birthd y. Ebvio&sly, "y wishes were being ignored. 8 sl ""ed the door o* "y F<2 !hevy tr&c$3 shower o* r&st spec$s *l&ttered down to the wet bl c$top3 nd w l$ed slowly tow rd where they w ited. Alice s$ipped *orw rd to "eet "e, her pixie * ce glowing &nder her spi$y bl c$ h ir. L# ppy birthd y, Bell ML
LShhML 8 hissed, gl ncing ro&nd the lot to " $e s&re no one h d he rd her. The l st thing 8 w nted w s so"e $ind o* celebr tion o* the bl c$ event. She ignored "e. LDo yo& w nt to open yo&r present now or l terKL she s$ed e gerly s we " de o&r w y to where 0dw rd still w ited. LNo presents,L 8 protested in "&"ble. She *in lly see"ed to process "y "ood. LE$ yN l ter, then. Did yo& li$e the scr pboo$ yo&r "o" sent yo&K And the c "er *ro" !h rlieKL 8 sighed. E* co&rse she wo&ld $now wh t "y birthd y presents were. 0dw rd w snFt the only "e"ber o* his * "ily with &n&s& l s$ills. Alice wo&ld h ve LseenL wh t "y p rents were pl nning s soon s theyFd decided th t the"selves. L+e h. TheyFre gre t.L LI thin$ itFs nice ide . +o&Fre only senior once. Might s well doc&"ent the experience.L L#ow " ny ti"es h ve you been seniorKL LTh tFs di**erent.L -e re ched 0dw rd then, nd he held o&t his h nd *or "ine. 8 too$ it e gerly, *orgetting, *or "o"ent, "y gl&" "ood. #is s$in w s, s lw ys, s"ooth, h rd, nd very cold. #e g ve "y *ingers gentle sH&eeIe. 8 loo$ed into his liH&id top 2 eyes, nd "y he rt g ve not6H&ite6so6 gentle sH&eeIe o* its own. #e ring the st&tter in "y he rtbe ts, he s"iled g in. #e li*ted his *ree h nd nd tr ced one cool *ingertip ro&nd the o&tside o* "y lips s he spo$e. LSo, s disc&ssed, 8 " not llowed to wish yo& h ppy birthd y, is th t correctKL L+es. Th t is correct.L 8 co&ld never H&ite "i"ic the *low o* his per*ect, *or" l rtic&l tion. 8t w s so"ething th t co&ld only be pic$ed &p in n e rlier cent&ry. L7&st chec$ing.L #e r n his h nd thro&gh his to&sled bronIe h ir. L+o& might h ve ch nged yo&r "ind. Most people see" to enJoy things li$e birthd ys nd gi*ts.L Alice l &ghed, nd the so&nd w s ll silver, wind chi"e. LE* co&rse yo&Fll enJoy it. 0veryone is s&pposed to be nice to yo& tod y nd give yo& yo&r w y, Bell . -h tFs the worst th t co&ld h ppenKL She "e nt it s rhetoric l H&estion. L%etting older,L 8 nswered nyw y, nd "y voice w s not s ste dy s 8 w nted it to be. Beside "e, 0dw rdFs s"ile tightened into h rd line. L0ighteen isnFt very old,L Alice s id. LDonFt wo"en &s& lly w it till theyFre twenty6nine to get &pset over birthd ysKL L8tFs older th n 0dw rd,L 8 "&"bled. #e sighed.
LTechnic lly,L she s id, $eeping her tone light. L7&st by one little ye r, tho&gh.L And 8 s&pposedN i* 8 co&ld be sure o* the *&t&re 8 w nted, s&re th t 8 wo&ld get to spend *orever with 0dw rd, nd Alice nd the rest o* the !&llens =pre*er bly not s wrin$led little old l dy5N then ye r or two one direction or the other wo&ldnFt " tter to "e so "&ch. B&t 0dw rd w s de d set g inst ny *&t&re th t ch nged "e. Any *&t&re th t " de "e li$e hi"3th t " de "e i""ort l, too. An i"p sse, he c lled it. 8 co&ldnFt re lly see 0dw rdFs point, to be honest. -h t w s so gre t bo&t "ort lityK Being v "pire didnFt loo$ li$e s&ch terrible thing3not the w y the !&llens did it, nyw y. L-h t ti"e will yo& be t the ho&seKL Alice contin&ed, ch nging the s&bJect. /ro" her expression, she w s &p to ex ctly the $ind o* thing 8Fd been hoping to void. L8 didnFt $now 8 h d pl ns to be there.L LEh, be * ir, Bell ML she co"pl ined. L+o& renFt going to r&in ll o&r *&n li$e th t, re yo&KL L8 tho&ght "y birthd y w s bo&t wh t I w nt.L L8Fll get her *ro" !h rlieFs right *ter school,L 0dw rd told her, ignoring "e ltogether. L8 h ve to wor$,L 8 protested. L+o& donFt, ct& lly,L Alice told "e s"&gly. L8 lre dy spo$e to Mrs. Newton bo&t it. SheFs tr ding yo&r shi*ts. She s id to tell yo& F# ppy Birthd y.FL L838 still c nFt co"e over,L 8 st ""ered, scr "bling *or n exc&se. L8, well, 8 h venFt w tched )omeo and (uliet yet *or 0nglish.L Alice snorted. L+o& h ve )omeo and (uliet "e"oriIed.L LB&t Mr. Berty s id we needed to see it per*or"ed to *&lly ppreci te it3th tFs how Sh $espe re intended it to be presented.L 0dw rd rolled his eyes. L+o&Fve lre dy seen the "ovie,L Alice cc&sed. LB&t not the nineteen6sixties version. Mr. Berty s id it w s the best.L /in lly, Alice lost the s"&g s"ile nd gl red t "e. LThis c n be e sy, or this c n be h rd, Bell , b&t one w y or the other3L 0dw rd interr&pted her thre t. LBel x, Alice. 8* Bell w nts to w tch "ovie, then she c n. 8tFs her birthd y.L LSo there,L 8 dded. L8Fll bring her over ro&nd seven,L he contin&ed. LTh t will give yo& "ore ti"e to set &p.L
AliceFs l &ghter chi"ed g in. LSo&nds good. See yo& tonight, Bell M 8tFll be *&n, yo&Fll see.L She grinned3the wide s"ile exposed ll her per*ect, glistening teeth3then pec$ed "e on the chee$ nd d nced o** tow rd her *irst cl ss be*ore 8 co&ld respond. L0dw rd, ple se3L 8 st rted to beg, b&t he pressed one cool *inger to "y lips. LLetFs disc&ss it l ter. -eFre going to be l te *or cl ss.L No one bothered to st re t &s s we too$ o&r &s& l se ts in the b c$ o* the cl ssroo" =we h d l"ost every cl ss together now3it w s " Iing the * vors 0dw rd co&ld get the *e" le d"inistr tors to do *or hi"5. 0dw rd nd 8 h d been together too long now to be n obJect o* gossip ny"ore. 0ven Mi$e Newton didnFt bother to give "e the gl&" st re th t &sed to " $e "e *eel little g&ilty. #e s"iled now inste d, nd 8 w s gl d he see"ed to h ve ccepted th t we co&ld only be *riends. Mi$e h d ch nged over the s&""er3his * ce h d lost so"e o* the ro&ndness, " $ing his chee$bones "ore pro"inent, nd he w s we ring his p le blond h ir new w yG inste d o* bristly, it w s longer nd gelled into c re*&lly c s& l dis rr y. 8t w s e sy to see where his inspir tion c "e *ro"3b&t 0dw rdFs loo$ w snFt so"ething th t co&ld be chieved thro&gh i"it tion. As the d y progressed, 8 considered w ys to get o&t o* wh tever w s going down t the !&llen ho&se tonight. 8t wo&ld be b d eno&gh to h ve to celebr te when 8 w s in the "ood to "o&rn. B&t, worse th n th t, this w s s&re to involve ttention nd gi*ts. Attention is never good thing, s ny other ccident6prone $l&tI wo&ld gree. No one w nts spotlight when theyFre li$ely to * ll on their * ce. And 8Fd very pointedly s$ed3well, ordered re lly3th t no one give "e ny presents this ye r. 8t loo$ed li$e !h rlie nd Benee werenFt the only ones who h d decided to overloo$ th t. 8Fd never h d "&ch "oney, nd th t h d never bothered "e. Benee h d r ised "e on $inderg rten te cherFs s l ry. !h rlie w snFt getting rich t his Job, either3he w s the police chie* here in the tiny town o* /or$s. My only person l inco"e c "e *ro" the three d ys wee$ 8 wor$ed t the loc l sporting goods store. 8n town this s" ll, 8 w s l&c$y to h ve Job. 0very penny 8 " de went into "y "icroscopic college *&nd. =!ollege w s ?l n B. 8 w s still hoping *or ?l n A, b&t 0dw rd w s J&st so st&bborn bo&t le ving "e h&" nN5 0dw rd h d lot o* "oney38 didnFt even w nt to thin$ bo&t how "&ch. Money "e nt next to nothing to 0dw rd or the rest o* the !&llens. 8t w s J&st so"ething th t cc&"&l ted when yo& h d &nli"ited ti"e on yo&r h nds nd sister who h d n &nc nny bility to predict trends in the stoc$ " r$et. 0dw rd didnFt see" to &nderst nd why 8 obJected to hi" spending "oney on "e3 why it " de "e &nco"*ort ble i* he too$ "e to n expensive rest &r nt in Se ttle, why he w snFt llowed to b&y "e c r th t co&ld re ch speeds over *i*ty6*ive "iles n ho&r, or why 8 wo&ldnFt let hi" p y "y college t&ition =he w s ridic&lo&sly enth&si stic bo&t ?l n B5. 0dw rd tho&ght 8 w s being &nnecess rily di**ic&lt. B&t how co&ld 8 let hi" give "e things when 8 h d nothing to reciproc te withK #e, *or so"e &n* tho" ble re son, w nted to be with "e. Anything he g ve "e on top o* th t J&st threw &s "ore o&t o* b l nce. As the d y went on, neither 0dw rd nor Alice bro&ght "y birthd y &p g in, nd 8 beg n to rel x little.
-e s t t o&r &s& l t ble *or l&nch. A str nge $ind o* tr&ce existed t th t t ble. The three o* &s30dw rd, Alice, nd 83s t on the extre"e so&thern end o* the t ble. Now th t the LolderL nd so"ewh t sc rier =in 0""ettFs c se, cert inly5 !&llen siblings h d gr d& ted, Alice nd 0dw rd did not see" H&ite so inti"id ting, nd we did not sit here lone. My other *riends, Mi$e nd 7essic =who were in the w$w rd post6bre $&p *riendship ph se5, Angel nd Ben =whose rel tionship h d s&rvived the s&""er5, 0ric, !onner, Tyler, nd L &ren =tho&gh th t l st one didnFt re lly co&nt in the *riend c tegory5 ll s t t the s "e t ble, on the other side o* n invisible line. Th t line dissolved on s&nny d ys when 0dw rd nd Alice lw ys s$ipped school, nd then the convers tion wo&ld swell o&t e**ortlessly to incl&de "e. 0dw rd nd Alice didnFt *ind this "inor ostr cis" odd or h&rt*&l the w y 8 wo&ld h ve. They b rely noticed it. ?eople lw ys *elt str ngely ill t e se with the !&llens, l"ost *r id *or so"e re son they co&ldnFt expl in to the"selves. 8 w s r re exception to th t r&le. So"eti"es it bothered 0dw rd how very co"*ort ble 8 w s with being close to hi". #e tho&ght he w s h I rdo&s to "y he lth3 n opinion 8 reJected vehe"ently whenever he voiced it. The *ternoon p ssed H&ic$ly. School ended, nd 0dw rd w l$ed "e to "y tr&c$ s he &s& lly did. B&t this ti"e, he held the p ssenger door open *or "e. Alice "&st h ve been t $ing his c r ho"e so th t he co&ld $eep "e *ro" " $ing r&n *or it. 8 *olded "y r"s nd " de no "ove to get o&t o* the r in. L8tFs "y birthd y, donFt 8 get to driveKL L8F" pretending itFs not yo&r birthd y, J&st s yo& wished.L L8* itFs not "y birthd y, then 8 donFt h ve to go to yo&r ho&se tonightNL LAll right.L #e sh&t the p ssenger door nd w l$ed p st "e to open the driverFs side. L# ppy birthd y.L LShh,L 8 sh&shed hi" h l*he rtedly. 8 cli"bed in the opened door, wishing heFd t $en the other o**er. 0dw rd pl yed with the r dio while 8 drove, sh $ing his he d in dis pprov l. L+o&r r dio h s horrible reception.L 8 *rowned. 8 didnFt li$e it when he pic$ed on "y tr&c$. The tr&c$ w s gre t3it h d person lity. L+o& w nt nice stereoK Drive yo&r own c r.L 8 w s so nervo&s bo&t AliceFs pl ns, on top o* "y lre dy gloo"y "ood, th t the words c "e o&t sh rper th n 8Fd "e nt the". 8 w s h rdly ever b d6te"pered with 0dw rd, nd "y tone " de hi" press his lips together to $eep *ro" s"iling. -hen 8 p r$ed in *ront o* !h rlieFs ho&se, he re ched over to t $e "y * ce in his h nds. #e h ndled "e very c re*&lly, pressing J&st the tips o* his *ingers so*tly g inst "y te"ples, "y chee$bones, "y J wline. Li$e 8 w s especi lly bre $ ble. -hich w s ex ctly the c se3 co"p red with hi", t le st. L+o& sho&ld be in good "ood, tod y o* ll d ys,L he whispered. #is sweet bre th * nned cross "y * ce.
LAnd i* 8 donFt w nt to be in good "oodKL 8 s$ed, "y bre thing &neven. #is golden eyes s"oldered. LToo b d.L My he d w s lre dy spinning by the ti"e he le ned closer nd pressed his icy lips g inst "ine. As he intended, no do&bt, 8 *orgot ll bo&t "y worries, nd concentr ted on re"e"bering how to inh le nd exh le. #is "o&th lingered on "ine, cold nd s"ooth nd gentle, &ntil 8 wr pped "y r"s ro&nd his nec$ nd threw "ysel* into the $iss with little too "&ch enth&si s". 8 co&ld *eel his lips c&rve &pw rd s he let go o* "y * ce nd re ched b c$ to &nloc$ "y grip on hi". 0dw rd h d dr wn " ny c re*&l lines *or o&r physic l rel tionship, with the intent being to $eep "e live. Tho&gh 8 respected the need *or " int ining s *e dist nce between "y s$in nd his r Ior6sh rp, veno"6co ted teeth, 8 tended to *orget bo&t trivi l things li$e th t when he w s $issing "e. LBe good, ple se,L he bre thed g inst "y chee$. #e pressed his lips gently to "ine one "ore ti"e nd then p&lled w y, *olding "y r"s cross "y sto" ch. My p&lse w s th&dding in "y e rs. 8 p&t one h nd over "y he rt. 8t dr&""ed hyper ctively &nder "y p l". LDo yo& thin$ 8Fll ever get better t thisKL 8 wondered, "ostly to "ysel*. LTh t "y he rt "ight so"ed y stop trying to J&"p o&t o* "y chest whenever yo& to&ch "eKL L8 re lly hope not,L he s id, bit s"&g. 8 rolled "y eyes. LLetFs go w tch the ! p&lets nd Mont g&es h c$ e ch other &p, ll rightKL L+o&r wish, "y co"" nd.L 0dw rd spr wled cross the co&ch while 8 st rted the "ovie, * st6*orw rding thro&gh the opening credits. -hen 8 perched on the edge o* the so* in *ront o* hi", he wr pped his r"s ro&nd "y w ist nd p&lled "e g inst his chest. 8t w snFt ex ctly s co"*ort ble s so* c&shion wo&ld be, wh t with his chest being h rd nd cold3 nd per*ect3 s n ice sc&lpt&re, b&t it w s de*initely pre*er ble. #e p&lled the old *gh n o** the b c$ o* the co&ch nd dr ped it over "e so 8 wo&ldnFt *reeIe beside his body. L+o& $now, 8Fve never h d "&ch p tience with Bo"eo,L he co""ented s the "ovie st rted. L-h tFs wrong with Bo"eoKL 8 s$ed, little o**ended. Bo"eo w s one o* "y * vorite *iction l ch r cters. 'ntil 8Fd "et 0dw rd, 8Fd sort o* h d thing *or hi". L-ell, *irst o* ll, heFs in love with this Bos line3donFt yo& thin$ it " $es hi" see" little *ic$leK And then, *ew "in&tes *ter their wedding, he $ills 7&lietFs co&sin. Th tFs not very brilli nt. Mist $e *ter "ist $e. !o&ld he h ve destroyed his own h ppiness ny "ore thoro&ghlyKL 8 sighed. LDo yo& w nt "e to w tch this loneKL
LNo, 8Fll "ostly be w tching yo&, nyw y.L #is *ingers tr ced p tterns cross the s$in o* "y r", r ising goose b&"ps. L-ill yo& cryKL L?rob bly,L 8 d"itted, Li* 8F" p ying ttention.L L8 wonFt distr ct yo& then.L B&t 8 *elt his lips on "y h ir, nd it w s very distr cting. The "ovie event& lly c pt&red "y interest, th n$s in l rge p rt to 0dw rd whispering Bo"eoFs lines in "y e r3his irresistible, velvet voice " de the ctorFs voice so&nd we $ nd co rse by co"p rison. And 8 did cry, to his "&se"ent, when 7&liet wo$e nd *o&nd her new h&sb nd de d. L8Fll d"it, 8 do sort o* envy hi" here,L 0dw rd s id, drying the te rs with loc$ o* "y h ir. LSheFs very pretty.L #e " de disg&sted so&nd. L8 donFt envy hi" the girl3J&st the e se o* the s&icide,L he cl ri*ied in te sing tone. L+o& h&" ns h ve it so e syM All yo& h ve to do is throw down one tiny vi l o* pl nt extr ctsNL L-h tKL 8 g sped. L8tFs so"ething 8 h d to thin$ bo&t once, nd 8 $new *ro" ! rlisleFs experience th t it wo&ldnFt be si"ple. 8F" not even s&re how " ny w ys ! rlisle tried to $ill hi"sel* in the beginningN *ter he re liIed wh t heFd beco"eNL #is voice, which h d grown serio&s, t&rned light g in. LAnd heFs cle rly still in excellent he lth.L 8 twisted ro&nd so th t 8 co&ld re d his * ce. L-h t re yo& t l$ing bo&tKL 8 de" nded. L-h t do yo& "e n, this so"ething yo& h d to thin$ bo&t onceKL LL st spring, when yo& wereN ne rly $illedNL #e p &sed to t $e deep bre th, sn&ggling to ret&rn to his te sing tone. LE* co&rse 8 w s trying to *oc&s on *inding yo& live, b&t p rt o* "y "ind w s " $ing contingency pl ns. Li$e 8 s id, itFs not s e sy *or "e s it is *or h&" n.L /or one second, the "e"ory o* "y l st trip to ?hoenix w shed thro&gh "y he d nd " de "e *eel diIIy. 8 co&ld see it ll so cle rly3the blinding s&n, the he t w ves co"ing o** the concrete s 8 r n with desper te h ste to *ind the s distic v "pire who w nted to tort&re "e to de th. 7 "es, w iting in the "irrored roo" with "y "other s his host ge3or so 8Fd tho&ght. 8 h dnFt $nown it w s ll r&se. 7&st s 7 "es h dnFt $nown th t 0dw rd w s r cing to s ve "eG 0dw rd " de it in ti"e, b&t it h d been close one. 'nthin$ingly, "y *ingers tr ced the crescent6sh ped sc r on "y h nd th t w s lw ys J&st *ew degrees cooler th n the rest o* "y s$in. 8 shoo$ "y he d3 s i* 8 co&ld sh $e w y the b d "e"ories3 nd tried to gr sp wh t 0dw rd "e nt. My sto" ch pl&nged &nco"*ort bly. L!ontingency pl nsKL 8 repe ted. L-ell, 8 w snFt going to live witho&t yo&.L #e rolled his eyes s i* th t * ct were childishly obvio&s. LB&t 8 w snFt s&re how to do it38 $new 0""ett nd 7 sper wo&ld never helpN so 8 w s thin$ing " ybe 8 wo&ld go to 8t ly nd do so"ething to provo$e the ,olt&ri.L 8 didnFt w nt to believe he w s serio&s, b&t his golden eyes were brooding, *oc&sed on so"ething * r w y in the dist nce s he conte"pl ted w ys to end his own li*e. Abr&ptly, 8 w s *&rio&s.
L-h t is "olturiKL 8 de" nded. LThe ,olt&ri re * "ily,L he expl ined, his eyes still re"ote. LA very old, very power*&l * "ily o* o&r $ind. They re the closest thing o&r world h s to roy l * "ily, 8 s&ppose. ! rlisle lived with the" brie*ly in his e rly ye rs, in 8t ly, be*ore he settled in A"eric 3do yo& re"e"ber the storyKL LE* co&rse 8 re"e"ber.L 8 wo&ld never *orget the *irst ti"e 8Fd gone to his ho"e, the h&ge white " nsion b&ried deep in the *orest beside the river, or the roo" where ! rlisle30dw rdFs * ther in so " ny re l w ys3 $ept w ll o* p intings th t ill&str ted his person l history. The "ost vivid, "ost wildly color*&l c nv s there, the l rgest, w s *ro" ! rlisleFs ti"e in 8t ly. E* co&rse 8 re"e"bered the c l" H& rtet o* "en, e ch with the exH&isite * ce o* ser ph, p inted into the highest b lcony overloo$ing the swirling " yhe" o* color. Tho&gh the p inting w s cent&ries old, ! rlisle3the blond ngel3re" ined &nch nged. And 8 re"e"bered the three others, ! rlisleFs e rly cH& int nces. 0dw rd h d never &sed the n "e "olturi *or the be &ti*&l trio, two bl c$6h ired, one snow white. #eFd c lled the" Aro, ! i&s, nd M rc&s, nightti"e p trons o* the rtsN LAnyw y, yo& donFt irrit te the ,olt&ri,L 0dw rd went on, interr&pting r y reverie. LNot &nless yo& w nt to die3or wh tever it is we do.L #is voice w s so c l", it " de hi" so&nd l"ost bored by the prospect. My nger t&rned to horror. 8 too$ his " rble * ce between "y h nds nd held it very tightly. L+o& "&st never, never, never thin$ o* nything li$e th t g inML 8 s id. LNo " tter wh t "ight ever h ppen to "e, yo& re not allo ed to h&rt yo&rsel*ML L8Fll never p&t yo& in d nger g in, so itFs "oot point.L L*ut "e in d ngerM 8 tho&ght weFd est blished th t ll the b d l&c$ is "y * &ltKL 8 w s getting ngrier. L#ow d re yo& even thin$ li$e th tKL The ide o* 0dw rd ce sing to exist, even i* 8 were de d, w s i"possibly p in*&l. L-h t wo&ld yo& do, i* the sit& tion were reversedKL he s$ed. LTh tFs not the s "e thing.L #e didnFt see" to &nderst nd the di**erence. #e ch&c$led. L-h t i* so"ething did h ppen to yo&KL 8 bl nched t the tho&ght. L-o&ld yo& w nt "e to go off "ysel*KL A tr ce o* p in to&ched his per*ect *e t&res. L8 g&ess 8 see yo&r pointN little,L he d"itted. LB&t wh t wo&ld 8 do witho&t yo&KL L-h tever yo& were doing be*ore 8 c "e long nd co"plic ted yo&r existence.L #e sighed. L+o& " $e th t so&nd so e sy.L L8t sho&ld be. 8F" not re lly th t interesting.L
#e w s bo&t to rg&e, b&t then he let it go. LMoot point,L he re"inded "e. Abr&ptly, he p&lled hi"sel* &p into "ore *or" l post&re, shi*ting "e to the side so th t we were no longer to&ching. L!h rlieKL 8 g&essed. 0dw rd s"iled. A*ter "o"ent, 8 he rd the so&nd o* the police cr&iser p&lling into the drivew y. 8 re ched o&t nd too$ his h nd *ir"ly. My d d co&ld de l with th t "&ch. !h rlie c "e in with piII box in his h nds. L#ey, $ids.L #e grinned t "e. L8 tho&ght yo&Fd li$e bre $ *ro" coo$ing nd w shing dishes *or yo&r birthd y. #&ngryKL LS&re. Th n$s, D d.L !h rlie didnFt co""ent on 0dw rdFs pp rent l c$ o* ppetite. #e w s &sed to 0dw rd p ssing on dinner. LDo yo& "ind i* 8 borrow Bell *or the eveningKL 0dw rd s$ed when !h rlie nd 8 were done. 8 loo$ed t !h rlie hope*&lly. M ybe he h d so"e concept o* birthd ys s st y6 t6ho"e, * "ily ** irs3this w s "y *irst birthd y with hi", the *irst birthd y since "y "o", Benee, h d re" rried nd gone to live in /lorid , so 8 didnFt $now wh t he wo&ld expect. LTh tFs *ine3the M riners re pl ying the Sox tonight,L !h rlie expl ined, nd "y hope dis ppe red. LSo 8 wonFt be ny $ind o* co"p nyN #ere.L #e scooped &p the c "er heFd gotten "e on BeneeFs s&ggestion =bec &se 8 wo&ld need pict&res to *ill &p "y scr p6boo$5, nd threw it to "e. #e o&ght to $now better th n th t38Fd lw ys been coordin tion lly ch llenged. The c "er gl nced o** the tip o* "y *inger, nd t&"bled tow rd the *loor. 0dw rd sn gged it be*ore it co&ld cr sh onto the linole&". LNice s ve,L !h rlie noted. L8* theyFre doing so"ething *&n t the !&llensF tonight, Bell , yo& sho&ld t $e so"e pict&res. +o& $now how yo&r "other gets3sheFll be w nting to see the pict&res * ster th n yo& c n t $e the".L L%ood ide , !h rlie,L 0dw rd s id, h nding "e the c "er . 8 t&rned the c "er on 0dw rd, nd sn pped the *irst pict&re. L8t wor$s.L LTh tFs good. #ey, s y hi to Alice *or "e. She h snFt been over in while.L !h rlieFs "o&th p&lled down t one corner. L8tFs been three d ys, D d,L 8 re"inded hi". !h rlie w s cr Iy bo&t Alice. #eFd beco"e tt ched l st spring when sheFd helped "e thro&gh "y w$w rd conv lescenceG !h rlie wo&ld be *oreFter gr te*&l to her *or s ving hi" *ro" the horror o* n l"ost6 d&lt d &ghter who needed help showering. L8Fll tell her.L LE$ y. +o& $ids h ve *&n tonight.L 8t w s cle rly dis"iss l. !h rlie w s lre dy edging tow rd the living roo" nd the T,.
0dw rd s"iled, tri&"ph nt, nd too$ "y h nd to p&ll "e *ro" the $itchen. -hen we got to the tr&c$, he opened the p ssenger door *or "e g in, nd this ti"e 8 didnFt rg&e. 8 still h d h rd ti"e *inding the obsc&re t&rno** to his ho&se in the d r$. 0dw rd drove north thro&gh /or$s, visibly ch *ing t the speed li"it en*orced by "y prehistoric !hevy. The engine gro ned even lo&der th n &s& l s he p&shed it over *i*ty. LT $e it e sy,L 8 w rned hi". L+o& $now wh t yo& wo&ld loveK A nice little A&di co&pe. ,ery H&iet, lots o* powerNL LThereFs nothing wrong with "y tr&c$. And spe $ing o* expensive nonessenti ls, i* yo& $now wh tFs good *or yo&, yo& didnFt spend ny "oney on birthd y presents.L LNot di"e,L he s id virt&o&sly. L%ood.L L! n yo& do "e * vorKL LTh t depends on wh t it is.L #e sighed, his lovely * ce serio&s. LBell , the l st re l birthd y ny o* &s h d w s 0""ett in (12<. !&t &s little sl c$, nd donFt be too di**ic&lt tonight. TheyFre ll very excited.L 8t lw ys st rtled "e little when he bro&ght &p things li$e th t. L/ine, 8Fll beh ve.L L8 prob bly sho&ld w rn yo&NL L?le se do.L L-hen 8 s y theyFre ll excitedN 8 do "e n all o* the".L L0veryoneKL 8 cho$ed. L8 tho&ght 0""ett nd Bos lie were in A*ric .L The rest o* /or$s w s &nder the i"pression th t the older !&llens h d gone o** to college this ye r, to D rt"o&th, b&t 8 $new better. L0""ett w nted to be here.L LB&tN Bos lieKL L8 $now, Bell . DonFt worry, sheFll be on her best beh vior.L 8 didnFt nswer. Li$e 8 co&ld J&st not worry, th t e sy. 'nli$e Alice, 0dw rdFs other L doptedL sister, the golden blond nd exH&isite Bos lie, didnFt li$e "e "&ch. Act& lly, the *eeling w s little bit stronger th n J&st disli$e. As * r s Bos lie w s concerned, 8 w s n &nwelco"e intr&der into her * "ilyFs secret li*e. 8 *elt horribly g&ilty bo&t the present sit& tion, g&essing th t Bos lie nd 0""ettFs prolonged bsence w s "y * &lt, even s 8 *&rtively enJoyed not h ving to see her 0""ett, 0dw rdFs
pl y*&l be r o* brother, 8 did "iss. #e w s in " ny w ys J&st li$e the big brother 8Fd lw ys w ntedN only "&ch, "&ch "ore terri*ying. 0dw rd decided to ch nge the s&bJect. LSo, i* yo& wonFt let "e get yo& the A&di, isnFt there nything th t yo&Fd li$e *or yo&r birthd yKL The words c "e o&t in whisper. L+o& $now wh t 8 w nt.L A deep *rown c rved cre ses into his " rble *orehe d. #e obvio&sly wished heFd st&c$ to the s&bJect o* Bos lie. 8t *elt li$e weFd h d this rg&"ent lot tod y. LNot tonight, Bell . ?le se.L L-ell, " ybe Alice will give "e wh t 8 w nt.L 0dw rd growled3 deep, "en cing so&nd. LThis isnFt going to be yo&r l st birthd y, Bell ,L he vowed. LTh tFs not * irML 8 tho&ght 8 he rd his teeth clench together. -e were p&lling &p to the ho&se now. Bright light shined *ro" every window on the *irst two *loors. A long line o* glowing 7 p nese l nterns h&ng *ro" the porch e ves, re*lecting so*t r di nce on the h&ge ced rs th t s&rro&nded the ho&se. Big bowls o* *lowers3pin$ roses3lined the wide st irs &p to the *ront doors. 8 "o ned. 0dw rd too$ *ew deep bre ths to c l" hi"sel*. LThis is p rty,L he re"inded "e. LTry to be good sport.L LS&re,L 8 "&ttered. #e c "e ro&nd to get "y door, nd o**ered "e his h nd. L8 h ve H&estion.L #e w ited w rily. L8* 8 develop this *il",L 8 s id, toying with the c "er in "y h nds, Lwill yo& show &p in the pict&reKL 0dw rd st rted l &ghing. #e helped "e o&t o* the c r, p&lled "e &p the st irs, nd w s still l &ghing s he opened the door *or "e. They were ll w iting in the h&ge white living roo"G when 8 w l$ed thro&gh the door, they greeted "e with lo&d chor&s o* L# ppy birthd y, Bell ML while 8 bl&shed nd loo$ed down. Alice, 8 ss&"ed, h d covered every *l t s&r* ce with pin$ c ndles nd doIens o* cryst l bowls *illed with h&ndreds o* roses. There w s t ble with white cloth dr ped over it next to
0dw rdFs gr nd pi no, holding pin$ birthd y c $e, "ore roses, st c$ o* gl ss pl tes, nd s" ll pile o* silver6wr pped presents. 8t w s h&ndred ti"es worse th n 8Fd i" gined. 0dw rd, sensing "y distress, wr pped n enco&r ging r" ro&nd "y w ist nd $issed the top o* "y he d. 0dw rdFs p rents, ! rlisle nd 0s"e3i"possibly yo&th*&l nd lovely s ever3were the closest to the door. 0s"e h&gged "e c re*&lly, her so*t, c r "el6colored h ir br&shing g inst "y chee$ s she $issed "y *orehe d, nd then ! rlisle p&t his r" ro&nd my sho&lders. LSorry bo&t this, Bell ,L he st ge6whispered. L-e co&ldnFt rein Alice in.L Bos lie nd 0""ett stood behind the". Bos lie didnFt s"ile, b&t t le st she didnFt gl re. 0""ettFs * ce w s stretched into h&ge grin. 8t h d been "onths since 8Fd seen the"G 8Fd *orgotten how glorio&sly be &ti*&l Bos lie w s3it l"ost h&rt to loo$ t her. And h d 0""ett lw ys been soN bigK L+o& h venFt ch nged t ll,L 0""ett s id with "oc$ dis ppoint"ent. L8 expected perceptible di**erence, b&t here yo& re, red6* ced J&st li$e lw ys.L LTh n$s lot, 0""ett,L 8 s id, bl&shing deeper. #e l &ghed, L8 h ve to step o&t *or secondL3he p &sed to win$ conspic&o&sly t Alice 3LDonFt do nything *&nny while 8F" gone.L L8Fll try.L Alice let go o* 7 sperFs h nd nd s$ipped *orw rd, ll her teeth sp r$ling in the bright light. 7 sper s"iled, too, b&t $ept his dist nce. #e le ned, long nd blond, g inst the post t the *oot o* the st irs. D&ring the d ys weFd h d to spend cooped &p together in ?hoenix, 8Fd tho&ght heFd gotten over his version to "e. B&t heFd gone b c$ to ex ctly how heFd cted be*ore3 voiding "e s "&ch s possible3the "o"ent he w s *ree *ro" th t te"por ry oblig tion to protect "e. 8 $new it w snFt person l, J&st prec &tion, nd 8 tried not to be overly sensitive bo&t it. 7 sper h d "ore tro&ble stic$ing to the !&llensF diet th n the rest o* the"G the scent o* h&" n blood w s "&ch h rder *or hi" to resist th n the others3he h dnFt been trying s long. LTi"e to open presents,L Alice decl red. She p&t her cool h nd &nder "y elbow nd towed "e to the t ble with the c $e nd the shiny p c$ ges. 8 p&t on "y best " rtyr * ce. LAlice, 8 $now 8 told yo& 8 didnFt w nt nything3L LB&t 8 didnFt listen,L she interr&pted, s"&g. LEpen it.L She too$ the c "er *ro" "y h nds nd repl ced it with big, sH& re silver box. The box w s so light th t it *elt e"pty. The t g on top s id th t it w s *ro" 0""ett, Bos lie, nd 7 sper. Sel*conscio&sly, 8 tore the p per o** nd then st red t the box it conce led. 8t w s so"ething electric l, with lots o* n&"bers in the n "e. 8 opened the box, hoping *or *&rther ill&"in tion. B&t the box as e"pty.
L'"N th n$s.L Bos lie ct& lly cr c$ed s"ile. 7 sper l &ghed. L8tFs stereo *or yo&r tr&c$,L he expl ined. L0""ettFs inst lling it right now so th t yo& c nFt ret&rn it.L Alice w s lw ys one step he d o* "e. LTh n$s, 7 sper, Bos lie,L 8 told the", grinning s 8 re"e"bered 0dw rdFs co"pl ints bo&t "y r dio this *ternoon3 ll set&p, pp rently. LTh n$s, 0""ettML 8 c lled "ore lo&dly. 8 he rd his boo"ing l &gh *ro" "y tr&c$, nd 8 co&ldnFt help l &ghing, too. LEpen "ine nd 0dw rdFs next,L Alice s id, so excited her voice w s high6pitched trill. She held s" ll, *l t sH& re in her h nd. 8 t&rned to give 0dw rd b silis$ gl re. L+o& pro"ised.L Be*ore he co&ld nswer, 0""ett bo&nded thro&gh the door. L7&st in ti"eML he crowed. #e p&shed in behind 7 sper, who h d lso dri*ted closer th n &s& l to get good loo$. L8 didnFt spend di"e,L 0dw rd ss&red "e. #e br&shed str nd o* h ir *ro" "y * ce, le ving "y s$in tingling *ro" his to&ch. 8 inh led deeply nd t&rned to Alice. L%ive it to "e,L 8 sighed. 0""ett ch&c$led with delight. 8 too$ the little p c$ ge, rolling "y eyes t 0dw rd while 8 st&c$ "y *inger &nder the edge o* the p per nd Jer$ed it &nder the t pe. LShoot,L 8 "&ttered when the p per sliced "y *ingerG 8 p&lled it o&t to ex "ine the d " ge. A single drop o* blood ooIed *ro" the tiny c&t. 8t ll h ppened very H&ic$ly then. LNoML 0dw rd ro red. #e threw hi"sel* t "e, *linging "e b c$ cross the t ble. 8t *ell, s 8 did, sc ttering the c $e nd the presents, the *lowers nd the pl tes. 8 l nded in the "ess o* sh ttered cryst l. 7 sper sl ""ed into 0dw rd, nd the so&nd w s li$e the cr sh o* bo&lders in roc$ slide. There w s nother noise, grisly sn rling th t see"ed to be co"ing *ro" deep in 7 sperFs chest. 7 sper tried to shove p st 0dw rd, sn pping his teeth J&st inches *ro" 0dw rdFs * ce. 0""ett gr bbed 7 sper *ro" behind in the next second, loc$ing hi" into his " ssive steel grip, b&t 7 sper str&ggled on, his wild, e"pty eyes *oc&sed only on "e. Beyond the shoc$, there w s lso p in. 8Fd t&"bled down to the *loor by the pi no, with "y r"s thrown o&t instinctively to c tch "y * ll, into the J gged sh rds o* gl ss. Enly now did 8 *eel the se ring, stinging p in th t r n *ro" "y wrist to the cre se inside "y elbow.
D Ied nd disoriented, 8 loo$ed &p *ro" the bright red blood p&lsing o&t o* "y r"3into the *evered eyes o* the six s&ddenly r veno&s v "pires.
2 STITCHES
!ABL8SL0 -AS NET T#0 ENL+ EN0 -#E STA+0D c l". !ent&ries o* experience in the e"ergency roo" were evident in his H&iet, &thorit tive voice. L0""ett, Bose, get 7 sper o&tside.L 'ns"iling *or once, 0""ett nodded. L!o"e on, 7 sper.L 7 sper str&ggled g inst 0""ettFs &nbre $ ble gr sp, twisting ro&nd, re ching tow rd his brother with his b red teeth, his eyes still p st re son. 0dw rdFs * ce w s whiter th n bone s he wheeled to cro&ch over "e, t $ing cle rly de*ensive position. A low w rning growl slid *ro" between his clenched teeth. 8 co&ld tell th t he w snFt bre thing. Bos lie, her divine * ce str ngely s"&g, stepped in *ront o* 7 sper3$eeping c re*&l dist nce *ro" his teeth3 nd helped 0""ett wrestle hi" thro&gh the gl ss door th t 0s"e held open, one h nd pressed over her "o&th nd nose. 0s"eFs he rt6sh ped * ce w s sh "ed. L8F" so sorry, Bell ,L she cried s she *ollowed the others into the y rd. LLet "e by, 0dw rd,L ! rlisle "&r"&red. A second p ssed, nd then 0dw rd nodded slowly nd rel xed his st nce. ! rlisle $nelt beside "e, le ning close to ex "ine "y r". 8 co&ld *eel the shoc$ *roIen on "y * ce, nd 8 tried to co"pose it. L#ere, ! rlisle,L Alice s id, h nding hi" towel. #e shoo$ his he d. LToo "&ch gl ss in the wo&nd.L #e re ched over nd ripped long, thin scr p *ro" the botto" o* the white t blecloth. #e twisted it ro&nd "y r" bove the elbow to *or" to&rniH&et. The s"ell o* the blood w s " $ing "e diIIy. My e rs r ng. LBell ,L ! rlisle s id so*tly. LDo yo& w nt "e to drive yo& to the hospit l, or wo&ld yo& li$e "e to t $e c re o* it hereKL L#ere, ple se,L 8 whispered. 8* he too$ "e to the hospit l, there wo&ld be no w y to $eep this *ro" !h rlie. L8Fll get yo&r b g,L Alice s id. LLetFs t $e her to the $itchen t ble,L ! rlisle s id to 0dw rd.
0dw rd li*ted "e e**ortlessly, while ! rlisle $ept the press&re ste dy on "y r". L#ow re yo& doing, Bell KL ! rlisle s$ed. L8F" *ine.L My voice w s re son bly ste dy, which ple sed "e. 0dw rdFs * ce w s li$e stone. Alice w s there. ! rlisleFs bl c$ b g w s lre dy on the t ble, s" ll b&t brilli nt des$ light pl&gged into the w ll. 0dw rd s t "e gently into ch ir, nd ! rlisle p&lled &p nother. #e went to wor$ t once. 0dw rd stood over "e, still protective, still not bre thing. L7&st go, 0dw rd,L 8 sighed. L8 c n h ndle it,L he insisted. B&t his J w w s rigidG his eyes b&rned with the intensity o* the thirst he *o&ght, so "&ch worse *or hi" th n it w s *or the others. L+o& donFt need to be hero,L 8 s id. L! rlisle c n *ix "e &p witho&t yo&r help. %et so"e *resh ir.L 8 winced s ! rlisle did so"ething to "y r" th t st&ng. L8Fll st y,L he s id. L-hy re yo& so " sochisticKL 8 "&"bled. ! rlisle decided to intercede. L0dw rd, yo& " y s well go *ind 7 sper be*ore he gets too * r. 8F" s&re heFs &pset with hi"sel*, nd 8 do&bt heFll listen to nyone b&t yo& right now.L L+es,L 8 e gerly greed. L%o *ind 7 sper.L L+o& "ight s well do so"ething &se*&l,L Alice dded. 0dw rdFs eyes n rrowed s we g nged &p on hi", b&t, *in lly, he nodded once nd sprinted s"oothly thro&gh the $itchenFs b c$ door. 8 w s s&re he h dnFt t $en bre th since 8Fd sliced "y *inger. A n&"b, de d *eeling w s spre ding thro&gh "y r". Tho&gh it er sed the sting, it re"inded "e o* the g sh, nd 8 w tched ! rlisleFs * ce c re*&lly to distr ct "e *ro" wh t his h nds were doing. #is h ir gle "ed gold in the bright light s he bent over "y r". 8 co&ld *eel the * int stirrings o* &ne se in the pit o* "y sto" ch, b&t 8 w s deter"ined not to let "y &s& l sH&e "ishness get the best o* "e. There w s no p in now, J&st gentle t&gging sens tion th t 8 tried to ignore. No re son to get sic$ li$e b by. 8* she h dnFt been in "y line o* sight, 8 wo&ldnFt h ve noticed Alice give &p nd ste l o&t o* the roo". -ith tiny, pologetic s"ile on her lips, she dis ppe red thro&gh the $itchen doorw y. L-ell, th tFs everyone,L 8 sighed. L8 c n cle r roo", t le st.L
L8tFs not yo&r * &lt,L ! rlisle co"*orted "e with ch&c$le. L8t co&ld h ppen to nyone.L L+ould, 8 repe ted. LB&t it &s& lly J&st h ppens to "e.L #e l &ghed g in. #is rel xed c l" w s only "ore " Iing set in direct contr st with everyone elseFs re ction. 8 co&ldnFt *ind ny tr ce o* nxiety in his * ce. #e wor$ed with H&ic$, s&re "ove"ents. The only so&nd besides o&r H&iet bre thing w s the so*t plink, plink s the tiny *r g"ents o* gl ss dropped one by one to the t ble. L#ow c n yo& do thisKL 8 de" nded. L0ven Alice nd 0s"eNL 8 tr iled o**, sh $ing "y he d in wonder. Tho&gh the rest o* the" h d given &p the tr dition l diet o* v "pires J&st s bsol&tely s ! rlisle h d, he w s the only one who co&ld be r the s"ell o* "y blood witho&t s&**ering *ro" the intense te"pt tion. !le rly, this w s "&ch "ore di**ic&lt th n he " de it see". L+e rs nd ye rs o* pr ctice,L he told "e. L8 b rely notice the scent ny"ore.L LDo yo& thin$ it wo&ld be h rder i* yo& too$ v c tion *ro" the hospit l *or long ti"e. And werenFt ro&nd ny bloodKL LM ybe.L #e shr&gged his sho&lders, b&t his h nds re" ined ste dy. L8Fve never *elt the need *or n extended holid y.L #e *l shed brilli nt s"ile in "y direction. L8 enJoy "y wor$ too "&ch.L *link, plink, plink. 8 w s s&rprised t how "&ch gl ss there see"ed to be in "y r". 8 w s te"pted to gl nce t the growing pile, J&st to chec$ the siIe, b&t 8 $new th t ide wo&ld not be help*&l to "y no6vo"iting str tegy. L-h t is it th t yo& enJoyKL 8 wondered. 8t didnFt " $e sense to "e3the ye rs o* str&ggle nd sel*6deni l he "&st h ve spent to get to the point where he co&ld end&re this so e sily. Besides, 8 w nted to $eep hi" t l$ingG the convers tion $ept "y "ind o** the H&e sy *eeling in "y sto" ch. #is d r$ eyes were c l" nd tho&ght*&l s he nswered. L#"". -h t 8 enJoy the very "ost is when "yN enh nced bilities let "e s ve so"eone who wo&ld otherwise h ve been lost. 8tFs ple s nt $nowing th t, th n$s to wh t 8 c n do, so"e peopleFs lives re better bec &se 8 exist. 0ven the sense o* s"ell is &se*&l di gnostic tool t ti"es.L Ene side o* his "o&th p&lled &p in h l* s"ile. 8 "&lled th t over while he po$ed ro&nd, " $ing s&re ll the gl ss splinters were gone. Then he r&"" ged in his b g *or new tools, nd 8 tried not to pict&re needle nd thre d. L+o& try very h rd to " $e &p *or so"ething th t w s never yo&r * &lt,L 8 s&ggested while new $ind o* t&gging st rted t the edges o* "y s$in. L-h t 8 "e n is, itFs not li$e yo& s$ed *or this. +o& didnFt choose this $ind o* li*e, nd yet yo& h ve to wor$ so hard to be good.L L8 donFt $now th t 8F" " $ing &p *or nything,L he dis greed lightly. LLi$e everything in li*e, 8 J&st h d to decide wh t to do with wh t 8 w s given.L LTh t " $es it so&nd too e sy.L
#e ex "ined "y r" g in. LThere,L he s id, snipping thre d. LAll done.L #e wiped n oversiIed A6tip, dripping with so"e syr&p6colored liH&id, thoro&ghly cross the oper tion site. The s"ell w s str ngeG it " de "y he d spin. The syr&p st ined "y s$in. L8n the beginning, tho&gh,L 8 pressed while he t ped nother long piece o* g &Ie sec&rely in pl ce, se ling it to "y s$in. L-hy did yo& even thin$ to try di**erent w y th n the obvio&s oneKL #is lips t&rned &p in priv te s"ile. L# snFt 0dw rd told yo& this storyKL L+es. B&t 8F" trying to &nderst nd wh t yo& were thin$ingNL #is * ce w s s&ddenly serio&s g in, nd 8 wondered i* his tho&ghts h d gone to the s "e pl ce th t "ine h d. -ondering wh t 8 wo&ld be thin$ing when38 re*&sed to thin$ if3it w s "e. L+o& $now "y * ther w s clergy" n,L he "&sed s he cle ned the t ble c re*&lly, r&bbing everything down with wet g &Ie, nd then doing it g in. The s"ell o* lcohol b&rned in "y nose. L#e h d r ther h rsh view o* the world, which 8 w s lre dy beginning to H&estion be*ore the ti"e th t 8 ch nged.L ! rlisle p&t ll the dirty g &Ie nd the gl ss slivers into n e"pty cryst l bowl. 8 didnFt &nderst nd wh t he w s doing, even when he lit the " tch. Then he threw it onto the lcohol6so $ed *ibers, nd the s&dden bl Ie " de "e J&"p. LSorry,L he pologiIed. LTh t o&ght to do itN So 8 didnFt gree with "y * therFs p rtic&l r br nd o* * ith. B&t never, in the ne rly *o&r h&ndred ye rs now since 8 w s born, h ve 8 ever seen nything to " $e "e do&bt whether %od exists in so"e *or" or the other. Not even the re*lection in the "irror.L 8 pretended to ex "ine the dressing on "y r" to hide "y s&rprise t the direction o&r convers tion h d t $en. Beligion w s the l st thing 8 expected, ll things considered. My own li*e w s * irly devoid o* belie*. !h rlie considered hi"sel* L&ther n, bec &se th tFs wh t his p rents h d been, b&t S&nd ys he worshipped by the river with *ishing pole in his h nd. Benee tried o&t ch&rch now nd then, b&t, "&ch li$e her brie* ** irs with tennis, pottery, yog , nd /rench cl sses, she "oved on by the ti"e 8 w s w re o* her newest * d. L8F" s&re ll this so&nds little biI rre, co"ing *ro" v "pire.L #e grinned, $nowing how their c s& l &se o* th t word never * iled to shoc$ "e. LB&t 8F" hoping th t there is still point to this li*e, even *or &s. 8tFs long shot, 8Fll d"it,L he contin&ed in n o**h nd voice. LBy ll cco&nts, weFre d "ned reg rdless. B&t 8 hope, " ybe *oolishly, th t weFll get so"e "e s&re o* credit *or trying.L L8 donFt thin$ th tFs *oolish,L 8 "&"bled. 8 co&ldnFt i" gine nyone, deity incl&ded, who wo&ldnFt be i"pressed by ! rlisle. Besides, the only $ind o* he ven I co&ld ppreci te wo&ld h ve to incl&de 0dw rd. LAnd 8 donFt thin$ nyone else wo&ld, either.L LAct& lly, yo&Fre the very *irst one to gree with "e.L LThe rest o* the" donFt *eel the s "eKL 8 s$ed, s&rprised, thin$ing o* only one person in p rtic&l r. ! rlisle g&essed the direction o* "y tho&ghts g in. L0dw rdFs with "e &p to point. %od nd he ven existN nd so does hell. B&t he doesnFt believe there is n *terli*e *or o&r $ind.L
! rlisleFs voice w s very so*tG he st red o&t the big window over the sin$, into the d r$ness. L+o& see, he thin$s weFve lost o&r so&ls.L 8 i""edi tely tho&ght o* 0dw rdFs words this *ternoonO unless you ant to die3or hatever it is that e do. The lightb&lb *lic$ed on over "y he d. LTh tFs the re l proble", isnFt itKL 8 g&essed. LTh tFs why heFs being so di**ic&lt bo&t "e.L ! rlisle spo$e slowly. L8 loo$ t "yN son. #is strength, his goodness, the brightness th t shines o&t o* hi"3 nd it only *&els th t hope, th t * ith, "ore th n ever. #ow co&ld there not be "ore *or one s&ch s 0dw rdKL 8 nodded in *ervent gree"ent. LB&t i* 8 believed s he doesNL #e loo$ed down t "e with &n* tho" ble eyes. L8* yo& believed s he did. !o&ld yo& t $e w y his so&lKL The w y he phr sed the H&estion thw rted "y nswer. 8* heFd s$ed "e whether 8 wo&ld ris$ "y so&l *or 0dw rd, the reply wo&ld be obvio&s. B&t wo&ld 8 ris$ 0dw rdFs so&lK 8 p&rsed "y lips &nh ppily. Th t w snFt * ir exch nge. L+o& see the proble".L 8 shoo$ "y he d, w re o* the st&bborn set o* "y chin. ! rlisle sighed. L8tFs "y choice,L 8 insisted. L8tFs his, too.L #e held &p his h nd when he co&ld see th t 8 w s bo&t to rg&e. L-hether he is responsible *or doing th t to yo&.L L#eFs not the only one ble to do it.L 8 eyed ! rlisle spec&l tively. #e l &ghed, br&ptly lightening the "ood. LEh, noM +o&Fre going to h ve to wor$ this o&t with him.L B&t then he sighed. LTh tFs the one p rt 8 c n never be s&re o*. 8 think, in "ost other w ys, th t 8Fve done the best 8 co&ld with wh t 8 h d to wor$ with. B&t w s it right to doo" the others to this li*eK 8 c nFt decide.L 8 didnFt nswer. 8 i" gined wh t "y li*e wo&ld be li$e i* ! rlisle h d resisted the te"pt tion to ch nge his lonely existenceN nd sh&ddered. L8t w s 0dw rdFs "other who " de &p "y "ind.L ! rlisleFs voice w s l"ost whisper. #e st red &nseeingly o&t the bl c$ windows. L#is "otherKL -henever 8Fd s$ed 0dw rd bo&t his p rents, he wo&ld "erely s y th t they h d died long go, nd his "e"ories were v g&e. 8 re liIed ! rlisleFs "e"ory o* the", despite the brevity o* their cont ct, wo&ld be per*ectly cle r. L+es. #er n "e w s 0liI beth. 0liI beth M sen. #is * ther, 0dw rd Senior, never reg ined conscio&sness in the hospit l. #e died in the *irst w ve o* the in*l&enI . B&t 0liI beth w s lert
&ntil l"ost the very end. 0dw rd loo$s gre t de l li$e her3she h d th t s "e str nge bronIe sh de to her h ir, nd her eyes were ex ctly the s "e color green.L L#is eyes were greenKL 8 "&r"&red, trying to pict&re it. L+esNL ! rlisleFs ocher eyes were h&ndred ye rs w y now. L0liI beth worried obsessively over her son. She h&rt her own ch nces o* s&rviv l trying to n&rse hi" *ro" her sic$bed. 8 expected th t he wo&ld go *irst, he w s so "&ch worse o** th n she w s. -hen the end c "e *or her, it w s very H&ic$. 8t w s J&st *ter s&nset, nd 8Fd rrived to relieve the doctors whoFd been wor$ing ll d y. Th t w s h rd ti"e to pretend3there w s so "&ch wor$ to be done, nd 8 h d no need o* rest. #ow 8 h ted to go b c$ to "y ho&se, to hide in the d r$ nd pretend to sleep while so " ny were dying. L8 went to chec$ 0liI beth nd her son *irst. 8Fd grown tt ched3 lw ys d ngero&s thing to do considering the *r gile n t&re o* h&" ns. 8 co&ld see t once th t sheFd t $en b d t&rn. The *ever w s r ging o&t o* control, nd her body w s too we $ to *ight ny"ore. LShe didnFt loo$ we $, tho&gh, when she gl red &p t "e *ro" her cot. LS ve hi"MF she co"" nded "e in the ho rse voice th t w s ll her thro t co&ld " n ge. L8Fll do everything in "y power,F 8 pro"ised her, t $ing her h nd. The *ever w s so high, she prob bly co&ldnFt even tell how &nn t&r lly cold "ine *elt. 0verything *elt cold to her s$in. L+o& "&st,L she insisted, cl&tching t "y h nd with eno&gh strength th t 8 wondered i* she wo&ldnFt p&ll thro&gh the crisis *ter ll. #er eyes were h rd, li$e stones, li$e e"er lds. F+o& "&st do everything in your power. -h t others c nnot do, th t is wh t yo& "&st do *or "y 0dw rd.L L8t *rightened "e. She loo$ed it "e with those piercing eyes, nd, *or one inst nt, 8 *elt cert in th t she $new "y secret. Then the *ever overwhel"ed her, nd she never reg ined conscio&sness. She died within n ho&r o* " $ing her de" nd. L8Fd spent dec des considering the ide o* cre ting co"p nion *or "ysel*. 7&st one other cre t&re who co&ld re lly $now "e, r ther th n wh t 8 pretended to be. B&t 8 co&ld never J&sti*y it to "ysel*3doing wh t h d been done to "e. LThere 0dw rd l y, dying. 8t w s cle r th t he h d only ho&rs le*t. Beside hi", his "other, her * ce so"ehow not yet pe ce*&l, not even in de th.L ! rlisle s w it ll g in, his "e"ory &nbl&rred by the intervening cent&ry. 8 co&ld see it cle rly, too, s he spo$e3the desp ir o* the hospit l, the overwhel"ing t"osphere o* de th. 0dw rd b&rning with *ever, his li*e slipping w y with e ch tic$ o* the cloc$N 8 sh&ddered g in, nd *orced the pict&re *ro" "y "ind. L0liI bethFs words echoed in "y he d. #ow co&ld she g&ess wh t 8 co&ld doK !o&ld nyone re lly w nt th t *or her sonK L8 loo$ed t 0dw rd. Sic$ s he w s, he w s still be &ti*&l. There w s so"ething p&re nd good bo&t his * ce. The $ind o* * ce 8 wo&ld h ve w nted "y son to h ve.
LA*ter ll those ye rs o* indecision, 8 si"ply cted on whi". 8 wheeled his "other to the "org&e *irst, nd then 8 c "e b c$ *or hi". No one noticed th t he w s still bre thing. There werenFt eno&gh h nds, eno&gh eyes, to $eep tr c$ o* h l* o* wh t the p tients needed. The "org&e w s e"pty3o* the living, t le st. 8 stole hi" o&t the b c$ door, nd c rried hi" cross the roo*tops b c$ to "y ho"e. L8 w snFt s&re wh t h d to be done. 8 settled *or recre ting the wo&nds 8Fd received "ysel*, so " ny cent&ries e rlier in London. 8 *elt b d bo&t th t l ter. 8t w s "ore p in*&l nd lingering th n necess ry. L8 w snFt sorry, tho&gh. 8Fve never been sorry th t 8 s ved 0dw rd.L #e shoo$ his he d, co"ing b c$ to the present. #e s"iled t "e. L8 s&ppose 8 sho&ld t $e yo& ho"e now.L L8Fll do th t,L 0dw rd s id. #e c "e thro&gh the sh dowy dining roo", w l$ing slowly *or hi". #is * ce w s s"ooth, &nre d ble, b&t there w s so"ething wrong with his eyes3so"ething he w s trying very h rd to hide. 8 *elt sp s" o* &ne se in "y sto" ch. L! rlisle c n t $e "e,L 8 s id. 8 loo$ed down t "y shirtG the light bl&e cotton w s so $ed nd spotted with "y blood. My right sho&lder w s covered in thic$ pin$ *rosting. L8F" *ine.L 0dw rdFs voice w s &ne"otion l. L+o&Fll need to ch nge nyw y. +o&Fd give !h rlie he rt tt c$ the w y yo& loo$. 8Fll h ve Alice get yo& so"ething.L #e strode o&t the $itchen door g in. 8 loo$ed t ! rlisle nxio&sly. L#eFs very &pset.L L+es,L ! rlisle greed. LTonight is ex ctly the $ind o* thing th t he *e rs the "ost. +o& being p&t in d nger, bec &se o* wh t we re.L L8tFs not his * &lt.L L8tFs not yo&rs, either.L 8 loo$ed w y *ro" his wise, be &ti*&l eyes. 8 co&ldnFt gree with th t. ! rlisle o**ered "e his h nd nd helped "e &p *ro" the t ble. 8 *ollowed hi" o&t into the " in roo". 0s"e h d co"e b c$G she w s "opping the *loor where 8Fd * llen3with str ight ble ch *ro" the s"ell o* it. L0s"e, let "e do th t.L 8 co&ld *eel th t "y * ce w s bright red g in. L8F" lre dy done.L She s"iled &p t "e. L#ow do yo& *eelKL L8F" *ine,L 8 ss&red her. L! rlisle sews * ster th n ny other doctor 8Fve h d.L They both ch&c$led. Alice nd 0dw rd c "e in the b c$ doors. Alice h&rried to "y side, b&t 0dw rd h&ng b c$, his * ce indecipher ble. L!F"on,L Alice s id. L8Fll get yo& so"ething less " c bre to we r.L
She *o&nd "e shirt o* 0s"eFs th t w s close to the s "e color "ine h d been. !h rlie wo&ldnFt notice, 8 w s s&re. The long white b nd ge on "y r" didnFt loo$ ne rly s serio&s when 8 w s no longer sp ttered in gore. !h rlie w s never s&rprised to see "e b nd ged. LAlice,L 8 whispered s she he ded b c$ to the door. L+esKL She $ept her voice low, too, nd loo$ed t "e c&rio&sly, her he d coc$ed to the side. L#ow b d is itKL 8 co&ldnFt be s&re i* "y whispering w s w sted e**ort. 0ven tho&gh we were &pst irs, with the door closed, perh ps he co&ld he r "e. #er * ce tensed. L8F" not s&re yet.L L#owFs 7 sperKL She sighed. L#eFs very &nh ppy with hi"sel*. 8tFs ll so "&ch "ore o* ch llenge *or hi", nd he h tes *eeling we $.L L8tFs not his * &lt. +o&Fll tell hi" th t 8F" not " d t hi", not t ll, wonFt yo&KL LE* co&rse.L 0dw rd w s w iting *or "e by the *ront door. As 8 got to the botto" o* the st irc se, he held it open witho&t word. LT $e yo&r thingsML Alice cried s 8 w l$ed w rily tow rd 0dw rd. She scooped &p the two p c$ ges, one h l*6opened, nd "y c "er *ro" &nder the pi no, nd pressed the" into "y good r". L+o& c n th n$ "e l ter, when yo&Fve opened the".L 0s"e nd ! rlisle both s id H&iet goodnight. 8 co&ld see the" ste ling H&ic$ gl nces t their i"p ssive son, "&ch li$e 8 w s. 8t w s relie* to be o&tsideG 8 h&rried p st the l nterns nd the roses, now &nwelco"e re"inders. 0dw rd $ept p ce with "e silently. #e opened the p ssenget side *or "e, nd 8 cli"bed in witho&t co"pl int. En the d shbo rd w s big red ribbon, st&c$ to the new stereo. 8 p&lled it o**, throwing it to the *loor. As 0dw rd slid into the other side, 8 $ic$ed the ribbon &nder "y se t. #e didnFt loo$ t "e or the stereo. Neither o* &s switched it on, nd the silence w s so"ehow intensi*ied by the s&dden th&nder o* the engine. #e drove too * st down the d r$, serpentine l ne. The silence w s " $ing "e ins ne. LS y so"ething,L 8 *in lly begged s he t&rned onto the *reew y. L-h t do yo& w nt "e to s yKL he s$ed in det ched voice. 8 cringed t his re"oteness. FTell "e yo& *orgive "e.L Th t bro&ght *lic$er o* li*e to his * ce3 *lic$er o* nger. L/orgive youK /or wh tKL
L8* 8Fd been "ore c re*&l, nothing wo&ld h ve h ppened.L LBell , yo& g ve yo&rsel* p per c&t3th t h rdly deserves the de th pen lty.L L8tFs still "y * &lt.L My words opened &p the *loodg te. L+o&r * &ltK 8* yo&Fd c&t yo&rsel* t Mi$e NewtonFs ho&se, with 7essic there nd Angel nd yo&r other nor" l *riends, the worst th t co&ld possibly h ve h ppened wo&ld be wh tK M ybe they co&ldnFt *ind yo& b nd geK 8* yo&Fd tripped nd $noc$ed over pile o* gl ss pl tes on yo&r own3witho&t so"eone throwing yo& into the"3even then, wh tFs the worstK +o&Fd get blood on the se ts when they drove yo& to the e"ergency roo"K Mi$e Newton co&ld h ve held yo&r h nd while they stitched yo& &p3 nd he wo&ldnFt be righting the &rge to $ill yo& the whole ti"e he w s there. DonFt try to t $e ny o* this on yo&rsel*, Bell . 8t will only " $e "e "ore disg&sted with "ysel*.L L#ow the hell did Mi$e Newton end &p in this convers tionKL 8 de" nded. LMi$e Newton ended &p in this convers tion bec &se Mi$e Newton wo&ld be hell o* lot he lthier *or yo& to be with,L he growled. L8Fd r ther die th n be with Mi$e Newton,L 8 protested. L8Fd r ther die th n be with nyone b&t yo&.L LDonFt be "elodr " tic, ple se.L L-ell then, donFt yo& be ridic&lo&s.L #e didnFt nswer. #e gl red thro&gh the windshield, his expression bl c$. 8 r c$ed "y br in *or so"e w y to s lv ge the evening. -hen we p&lled &p in *ront o* "y ho&se, 8 still h dnFt co"e &p with nything. #e $illed the engine, b&t his h nds st yed clenched ro&nd the steering wheel. L-ill yo& st y tonightKL 8 s$ed. L8 sho&ld go ho"e.L The l st thing 8 w nted w s *or hi" to go w llow in re"orse. L/or "y birthd y,L 8 pressed. L+o& c nFt h ve it both w ys3either yo& w nt people to ignore yo&r birthd y or yo& donFt. Ene or the other.L #is voice w s stern, b&t not .is serio&s s be*ore. 8 bre thed silent sigh o* relie*. LE$ y. 8Fve decided th t 8 donFt w nt yo& to ignore "y birthd y. 8Fll see yo& &pst irs.L 8 hopped o&t, re ching b c$ in *or "y p c$ ges. #e *rowned.
L+o& donFt h ve to t $e those.L L8 w nt the",L 8 responded &to" tic lly, nd then wondered i* he w s &sing reverse psychology. LNo, yo& donFt. ! rlisle nd 0s"e spent "oney on yo&.L L8Fll live.L 8 t&c$ed the presents w$w rdly &nder "y good r" nd sl ""ed the door behind "e. #e w s o&t o* the tr&c$ nd by "y side in less th n second. LLet "e c rry the", t le st.L he s id s he too$ the" w y. L8Fll be in yo&r roo".L 8 s"iled. LTh n$s.L L# ppy birthd y,L he sighed, nd le ned down to to&ch his lips to "ine. 8 re ched &p on "y toes to " $e the $iss l st longer when he p&lled w y. #e s"iled "y * vorite croo$ed s"ile, nd then he dis ppe red into the d r$ness. The g "e w s still onG s soon s 8 w l$ed thro&gh the *ront door 8 co&ld he r the nno&ncer r "bling over the b bble o* the crowd. LBellKL !h rlie c lled. L#ey, D d,L 8 s id s 8 c "e ro&nd the corner. 8 held "y r" close to "y side. The slight press&re b&rned, nd 8 wrin$led "y nose. The nesthetic w s pp rently losing its e**ectiveness. L#ow w s itKL !h rlie lo&nged cross the so* with his b re *eet propped &p on the r". -h t w s le*t o* his c&rly brown h ir w s cr&shed *l t on one side. LAlice went overbo rd. /lowers, c $e, c ndles, presents3the whole bit.L L-h t did they get yo&KL LA stereo *or "y tr&c$.L And v rio&s &n$nowns. L-ow.L L+e h,L 8 greed. L-ell, 8F" c lling it night.L L8Fll see yo& in the "orning.L 8 w ved. LSee y .L L-h t h ppened to yo&r r"KL 8 *l&shed nd c&rsed silently. L8 tripped. 8tFs nothing.L LBell ,L he sighed, sh $ing his he d. L%oodnight, D d.L
8 h&rried &p to the b throo", where 8 $ept "y p J " s *or J&st s&ch nights s these. 8 shr&gged into the " tching t n$ top nd cotton p nts th t 8Fd gotten to repl ce the holey swe ts 8 &sed to we r to bed, wincing s the "ove"ent p&lled t the stitches. 8 w shed "y * ce one6h nded, br&shed "y teeth, nd then s$ipped to "y roo". #e w s sitting in the center o* "y bed, toying idly with one o* the silver boxes. L#i,L he s id. #is voice w s s d. #e w s w llowing. 8 went to the bed, p&shed the presents o&t o* his h nds, nd cli"bed into his l p. L#i.L 8 sn&ggled into his stone chest. L! n 8 open "y presents nowKL L-here did the enth&si s" co"e *ro"KL he wondered. L+o& " de "e c&rio&s.L 8 pic$ed &p the long *l t rect ngle th t "&st h ve been *ro" ! rlisle nd 0s"e. LAllow "e,L he s&ggested. #e too$ the gi*t *ro" "y h nd nd tore the silver p per o** with one *l&id "ove"ent. #e h nded the rect ng&l r white box b c$ to "e. LAre yo& s&re 8 c n h ndle li*ting the lidKL 8 "&ttered, b&t he ignored "e. 8nside the box w s long thic$ piece o* p per with n overwhel"ing "o&nt o* *ine print. 8t too$ "e "in&te to get the gist o* the in*or" tion. L-eFre going to 7 c$sonvilleKL And 8 w s excited, in spite o* "ysel*. 8t w s vo&cher *or pl ne tic$ets, *or both "e nd 0dw rd. LTh tFs the ide .L L8 c nFt believe it. Benee is going to *lipM +o& donFt "ind, tho&gh, do yo&K 8tFs s&nny, yo&Fll h ve to st y inside ll d y.L L8 thin$ 8 c n h ndle it,L he s id, nd then *rowned. L8* 8Fd h d ny ide th t yo& co&ld respond to gi*t this ppropri tely, 8 wo&ld h ve " de yo& open it in *ront o* ! rlisle nd 0s"e. 8 tho&ght yo&Fd co"pl in.L L-ell, o* co&rse itFs too "&ch. B&t 8 get to t $e yo& with "eML #e ch&c$led. LNow 8 wish 8Fd spent "oney on yo&r present. 8 didnFt re liIe th t yo& were c p ble o* being re son ble.L 8 set the tic$ets side nd re ched *or his present, "y c&riosity re$indled. #e too$ it *ro" "e nd &nwr pped it li$e the *irst one. #e h nded b c$ cle r !D Jewel c se, with bl n$ silver !D inside. L-h t is itKL 8 s$ed, perplexed.
#e didnFt s y nythingG he too$ the !D nd re ched ro&nd "e to p&t it in the !D pl yer on the bedside t ble. #e hit pl y, nd we w ited in silence. Then the "&sic beg n. 8 listened, speechless nd wide6eyed. 8 $new he w s w iting *or "y re ction, b&t 8 co&ldnFt t l$. Te rs welled &p, nd 8 re ched &p to wipe the" w y be*ore they co&ld spill over. LDoes yo&r r" h&rtKL he s$ed nxio&sly. LNo, itFs not "y r". 8tFs be &ti*&l, 0dw rd. +o& co&ldnFt h ve given "e nything 8 wo&ld love "ore. 8 c nFt believe it.L 8 sh&t &p, so 8 co&ld listen. 8t w s his "&sic, his co"positions. The *irst piece on the !D w s "y l&ll by. L8 didnFt thin$ yo& wo&ld let "e get pi no so 8 co&ld pl y *or yo& here,L he expl ined. L+o&Fre right.L L#ow does yo&r r" *eelKL L7&st *ine.L Act& lly, it w s st rting to bl Ie &nder the b nd ge. 8 w nted ice. 8 wo&ld h ve settled *or his h nd, b&t th t wo&ld h ve given "e w y. L8Fll get yo& so"e Tylenol.L L8 donFt need nything,L 8 protested, b&t he slid "e o** his l p nd he ded *or the door. L!h rlie,L 8 hissed. !h rlie w snFt ex ctly w re th t 0dw rd *reH&ently st yed over. 8n * ct, he wo&ld h ve stro$e i* th t * ct were bro&ght to his ttention. B&t 8 didnFt *eel too g&ilty *or deceiving hi" 8t w snFt s i* we were &p to nything he wo&ldnFt w nt "e to be &p to. 0dw rd nd his r&lesN L#e wonFt c tch "e,L 0dw rd pro"ised s he dis ppe red silently o&t the door . . nd ret&rned, c tching the door be*ore it h d sw&ng b c$ to to&ch the *r "e. #e h d the gl ss *ro" the b throo" nd the bottle o* pills in one h nd. 8 too$ the pills he h nded "e witho&t rg&ing38 $new 8 wo&ld lose the rg&"ent And "y r" re lly w s st rting to bother "e. My l&ll by contin&ed, so*t nd lovely, in the b c$gro&nd. L8tFs l te,L 0dw rd noted. #e scooped "e &p o** the bed with one r", nd p&lled the cover b c$ with the other. #e p&t "e down with "y he d on "y pillow nd t&c$ed the H&ilt ro&nd "e. #e l y down next to "e3on top o* the bl n$et so 8 wo&ldnFt get chilled3 nd p&t his r" over "e. 8 le ned "y he d g inst his sho&lder nd sighed h ppily. LTh n$s g in,L 8 whispered. L+o&Fre welco"e.L 8t w s H&iet *or long "o"ent s 8 listened to "y l&ll by dri*t to close. Another song beg n. 8 recogniIed 0s"eFs * vorite.
L-h t re yo& thin$ing bo&tKFL 8 wondered in whisper. #e hesit ted *or second be*ore he told "e. L8 w s thin$ing bo&t right nd wrong, ct& lly.L 8 *elt chill tingle long "y spine. LBe"e"ber how 8 decided th t 8 w nted yo& to not ignore "y birthd yKL 8 s$ed H&ic$ly, hoping it w snFt too cle r th t 8 w s trying to distr ct hi". L+es,L he greed, w ry. L-ell, 8 w s thin$ing, since itFs still "y birthd y, th t 8Fd li$e yo& to $iss "e g in.L L+o&Fre greedy tonight.L L+es, 8 "3b&t ple se, donFt do nything yo& donFt w nt to do,L 8 dded, piH&ed. #e l &ghed, nd then sighed. L#e ven *orbid th t 8 sho&ld do nything 8 donFt w nt to do,L he s id in str ngely desper te tone s he p&t his h nd &nder "y chin nd p&lled "y * ce &p to his. The $iss beg n "&ch the s "e s &s& l30dw rd w s s c re*&l s ever, nd "y he rt beg n to overre ct li$e it lw ys did. And then so"ething see"ed to ch nge. S&ddenly his lips bec "e "&ch "ore &rgent, his *ree h nd twisted into "y h ir nd held "y * ce sec&rely to his. And, tho&gh "y h nds t ngled in his h ir, too, nd tho&gh 8 w s cle rly beginning to cross his c &tio&s lines, *or once he didnFt stop "e. #is body w s cold thro&gh the thin H&ilt, b&t 8 cr&shed "ysel* g inst hi" e gerly. -hen he stopped it w s br&ptG he p&shed "e w y with gentle, *ir" h nds. 8 coll psed b c$ onto "y pillow, g sping, "y he d spinning. So"ething t&gged t "y "e"ory, el&sive, on the edges. LSorry,L he s id, nd he w s bre thless, too. LTh t w s o&t o* line.L LI donFt "ind,L 8 p nted. #e *rowned t "e in the d r$ness. LTry to sleep. Bell .L LNo, 8 w nt yo& to $iss "e g in.L L+o&Fre overesti" ting "y sel*6control.L L-hich is te"pting yo& "ore, "y blood or "y bodyKL 8 ch llenged. L8tFs tie.L #e grinned brie*ly in spite o* hi"sel*, nd then w s serio&s g in. LNow. why donFt yo& stop p&shing yo&r l&c$ nd go to sleepKL L/ine,L 8 greed, sn&ggling closer to hi". 8 re lly did *eel exh &sted. 8t h d been long d y in so " ny w ys, yet 8 *elt no sense o* relie* t its end. Al"ost s i* so"ething worse w s co"ing to"orrow. 8t w s silly pre"onition3wh t co&ld be worse th n tod yKF 7&st the shoc$ c tching &p with "e, no do&bt.
Trying to be sne $y bo&t it, 8 pressed "y inJ&red r" g inst his sho&lder, so his cool s$in wo&ld sooth the b&rning. 8t *elt better t once. 8 w s h l*w y sleep, " ybe "ore, when 8 re liIed wh t his $iss h d re"inded "e o*O l st spring, when heFd h d to le ve "e to throw 7 "es o** "y tr il, 0dw rd h d $issed "e goodbye, not $nowing when3or i*3we wo&ld see e ch other g in. This $iss h d the s "e l"ost p in*&l edge *or so"e re son 8 co&ldnFt i" gine. 8 sh&ddered into &nconscio&sness, s i* 8 were lre dy h ving night" re.
3. THE END
8 /0LT ABSEL'T0L+ #8D0E'S 8N T#0 MEBN8N%. 8 #ADNFT slept wellG "y r" b&rned nd "y he d ched. 8t didnFt help "y o&tloo$ th t 0dw rdFs * ce w s s"ooth nd re"ote s he $issed "y *orehe d H&ic$ly nd d&c$ed o&t "y window. 8 w s *r id o* the ti"e 8Fd spent &nconscio&s, *r id th t he "ight h ve been thin$ing bo&t right nd wrong g in while he w tched "e sleep. The nxiety see"ed to r tchet &p the intensity o* the po&nding in "y he d. 0dw rd w s w iting *or "e t school, s &s& l, b&t his * ce w s still wrong. There w s so"ething b&ried in his eyes th t 8 co&ldnFt be s&re o*3 nd it sc red "e. 8 didnFt w nt to bring &p l st night, b&t 8 w snFt s&re i* voiding the s&bJect wo&ld be worse. #e opened "y door *or "e. L#ow do yo& *eelKL L?er*ect,L 8 lied, cringing s the so&nd o* the sl ""ing door echoed in "y he d. -e w l$ed in silence, he shortening his stride to " tch "ine. There were so " ny H&estions 8 w nted to s$, b&t "ost o* those H&estions wo&ld h ve to w it, bec &se chey were *or AliceO #ow w s 7 sper this "orningK -h t h d they s id when 8 w s goneK -h t h d Bos lie s idK And "ost i"port ntly, wh t co&ld she see h ppening now in her str nge, i"per*ect visions o* the *&t&reK !o&ld she g&ess wh t 0dw rd w s thin$ing, why he w s so gloo"yK - s there *o&nd tion *or the ten&o&s, instinctive *e rs th t 8 co&ldnFt see" to sh $eK The "orning p ssed slowly. 8 w s i"p tient to see Alice, tho&gh 8 wo&ldnFt be ble to re lly t l$ to her with 0dw rd there. 0dw rd re" ined loo*. Ecc sion lly he wo&ld s$ bo&t "y r", nd 8 wo&ld lie. Alice &s& lly be t &s to l&nchG she didnFt h ve to $eep p ce with sloth li$e "e. B&t she w snFt t the t ble, w iting with tr y o* *ood she wo&ldnFt e t. 0dw rd didnFt s y nything bo&t her bsence. 8 wondered to "ysel* i* her cl ss w s r&nning l te 3&ntil 8 s w !onner nd Ben, who were in her *o&rth ho&r /rench cl ss. L-hereFs AliceKL 8 s$ed 0dw rd nxio&sly. #e loo$ed t the gr nol b r he w s slowly p&lveriIing between his *ingertips while he nswered. LSheFs with 7 sper.L
L8s he o$ yKL L#eFs gone w y *or while.L L-h tK -hereKL 0dw rd shr&gged. LNowhere in p rtic&l r.L LAnd Alice, too,L 8 s id with H&iet desper tion. E* co&rse, i* 7 sper needed her, she wo&ld go. L+es. SheFll be gone *or while. She w s trying to convince hi" to go to Den li.L Den li w s where the one other b nd o* &niH&e v "pires3good ones li$e the !&llens3lived. T ny nd her * "ily. 8Fd he rd o* the" now nd g in. 0dw rd h d r&n to the" l st winter when "y rriv l h d " de /or$s di**ic&lt *or hi". L &rent, the "ost civiliIed "e"ber o* 7 "esFs little coven, h d gone there r ther th n siding with 7 "es g inst the !&llens. 8t " de sense *or Alice to enco&r ge 7 sper to go there. 8 sw llowed, trying to dislodge the s&dden l&"p in "y thro t. The g&ilt " de "y he d bow nd "y sho&lders sl&"p. 8Fd r&n the" o&t o* their ho"e, J&st li$e Bos lie nd 0""ett. 8 w s pl g&e. L8s yo&r r" bothering yo&KL he s$ed solicito&sly. L-ho c res bo&t "y st&pid r"KL 8 "&ttered in disg&st. #e didnFt nswer, nd 8 p&t "y he d down on the t ble. By the end o* the d y, the silence w s beco"ing ridic&lo&s. 8 didnFt w nt to be the one to bre $ it, b&t pp rently th t w s "y only choice i* 8 ever w nted hi" to t l$ to "e g in. L+o&Fll co"e over l ter tonightKL 8 s$ed s he w l$ed "e3silently3to "y tr&c$. #e lw ys c "e over. LL terKL 8t ple sed "e th t he see"ed s&rprised. L8 h ve to wor$. 8 h d to tr de with Mrs. Newton to get yesterd y o**.L LEh,L he "&r"&red. LSo yo&Fll co"e over when 8F" ho"e, tho&gh, rightKL 8 h ted th t 8 *elt s&ddenly &ns&re bo&t this. L8* yo& w nt "e to.L L8 lw ys w nt yo&,L 8 re"inded hi", with perh ps little "ore intensity th n the convers tion reH&ired. 8 expected he wo&ld l &gh, or s"ile, or re ct so"ehow to "y words. LAll right, then,L he s id indi**erently.
#e $issed "y *orehe d g in be*ore he sh&t the door on "e. Then he t&rned his b c$ nd loped gr ce*&lly tow rd his c r. 8 w s ble to drive o&t o* the p r$ing lot be*ore the p nic re lly hit, b&t 8 w s hyperventil ting by the ti"e 8 got to NewtonFs. #e J&st needed ti"e, 8 told "ysel*. #e wo&ld get over this. M ybe he w s s d bec &se his * "ily w s dis ppe ring. B&t Alice nd 7 sper wo&ld co"e b c$ soon, nd Bos lie nd 0""ett, too. 8* it wo&ld help, 8 wo&ld st y w y *ro" the big white ho&se on the river38Fd never set *oot there g in. Th t didnFt " tter. 8Fd still see Alice t school. She wo&ld h ve to co"e b c$ *or school, rightK And she w s t "y pl ce ll the ti"e nyw y. She wo&ldnFt w nt to h&rt !h rlieFs *eelings by st ying w y. No do&bt 8 wo&ld lso r&n into ! rlisle with reg&l rity3in the e"ergency roo". A*ter ll, wh t h d h ppened l st night w s nothing. Nothing had h ppened. So 8 *ell down3th t w s the story o* "y li*e. !o"p red to l st spring, it see"ed especi lly &ni"port nt. 7 "es h d le*t "e bro$en nd ne rly de d *ro" loss o* blood3 nd yet 0dw rd h d h ndled the inter"in ble wee$s in the hospit l much better th n this. - s it bec &se, this ti"e, it w snFt n ene"y heFd h d to protect "e *ro"K Bec &se it w s his brotherK M ybe it wo&ld be better i* he too$ "e w y, r ther th n his * "ily being sc ttered. 8 grew slightly less depressed s 8 considered ll the &ninterr&pted lone ti"e. 8* he co&ld J&st l st thro&gh the school ye r, !h rlie wo&ldnFt be ble to obJect. -e co&ld go w y to college, or pretend th tFs wh t we were doing, li$e Bos lie nd 0""ett this ye r. S&rely 0dw rd co&ld w it ye r. -h t w s ye r to n i""ort lK 8t didnFt even see" li$e th t "&ch to "e. 8 w s ble to t l$ "ysel* into eno&gh co"pos&re to h ndle getting o&t o* the tr&c$ nd w l$ing to the store. Mi$e Newton h d be ten "e here tod y, nd he s"iled nd w ved when 8 c "e in. 8 gr bbed "y vest, nodding v g&ely in his direction. 8 w s still i" gining ple s nt scen rios th t consisted o* "e r&nning w y with 0dw rd to v rio&s exotic loc les. Mi$e interr&pted "y * nt sy. L#ow w s yo&r birthd yKL L'gh,L 8 "&"bled. L8F" gl d itFs over.L Mi$e loo$ed t "e *ro" the corners o* his eyes li$e 8 w s cr Iy. -or$ dr gged. 8 w nted to see 0dw rd g in, pr ying th t he wo&ld be p st the worst o* this, wh tever it w s ex ctly, by the ti"e 8 s w hi" g in. 8tFs nothing, 8 told "ysel* over nd over g in. 0verything will go b c$ to nor" l. The relie* 8 *elt when 8 t&rned onto "y street nd s w 0dw rdFs silver c r p r$ed in *ront o* "y ho&se w s n overwhel"ing, he dy thing. And it bothered "e deeply th t it sho&ld be th t w y. 8 h&rried thro&gh the *ront door, c lling o&t be*ore 8 w s co"pletely inside. LD dK 0dw rdKL As 8 spo$e, 8 co&ld he r the distinctive the"e "&sic *ro" 0S?NFs Sports!enter co"ing *ro" the living roo".
L8n here,L !h rlie c lled. 8 h&ng "y r inco t on its peg nd h&rried ro&nd the corner. 0dw rd w s in the r"ch ir, "y * ther on the so* . Both h d their eyes tr ined on the T,. The *oc&s w s nor" l *or "y * ther. Not so "&ch *or 0dw rd. L#i,L 8 s id we $ly. L#ey, Bell ,L "y * ther nswered, eyes never "oving. L-e J&st h d cold piII . 8 thin$ itFs still on the t ble.L LE$ y.L 8 w ited in the doorw y. /in lly, 0dw rd loo$ed over t "e with polite s"ile. L8Fll be right behind yo&,L he pro"ised. #is eyes str yed b c$ to the T,. 8 st red *or nother "in&te, shoc$ed. Neither one see"ed to notice. 8 co&ld *eel so"ething, p nic " ybe, b&ilding &p in "y chest. 8 esc ped to the $itchen. The piII held no interest *or "e. 8 s t in "y ch ir, p&lled "y $nees &p, nd wr pped "y r"s ro&nd the". So"ething w s very wrong, " ybe "ore wrong th n 8Fd re liIed. The so&nds o* " le bonding nd b nter contin&ed *ro" the T, set. 8 tried to get control o* "ysel*, to re son with "ysel*. !hat$s the orst that can happenK 8 *linched. Th t w s de*initely the wrong H&estion to s$. 8 w s h ving h rd ti"e bre thing right. -kay, 8 tho&ght g in, hat$s the orst I can live throughK 8 didnFt li$e th t H&estion so "&ch, either. B&t 8 tho&ght thro&gh the possibilities 8Fd considered tod y. St ying w y *ro" 0dw rdFs * "ily. E* co&rse, he wo&ldnFt expect Alice to be p rt o* th t. B&t i* 7 sper w s o** li"its, th t wo&ld lessen the ti"e 8 co&ld h ve with her. 8 nodded to "ysel*38 co&ld live with th t. Er going w y. M ybe he wo&ldnFt w nt to w it till the end o* the school ye r, " ybe it wo&ld h ve to be now. 8n *ront o* "e, on the t ble, "y presents *ro" !h rlie nd Benee were where 8 h d le*t the", the c "er 8 h dnFt h d the ch nce to &se t the !&llensF sitting beside the lb&". 8 to&ched the pretty cover o* the scr pboo$ "y "other h d given "e, nd sighed, thin$ing o* Benee. So"ehow, living witho&t her *or s long s 8 h d did not " $e the ide o* "ore per" nent sep r tion e sier. And !h rlie wo&ld be le*t ll lone here, b ndoned. They wo&ld both be so h&rtN B&t weFd co"e b c$, rightK -eFd visit, o* co&rse, wo&ldnFt weK 8 co&ldnFt be cert in bo&t the nswer to th t. 8 le ned "y chee$ g inst "y $nee, st ring t the physic l to$ens o* "y p rentsF love. 8Fd $nown this p th 8Fd chosen w s going to be h rd. And, *ter ll, 8 w s thin$ing bo&t the worst6c se scen rio3the very worst 8 co&ld live thro&gh.
8 to&ched the scr pboo$ g in, *lipping the *ront cover over. Little "et l corners were lre dy in pl ce to hold the *irst pict&re. 8t w snFt h l*6b d ide , to " $e so"e record o* "y li*e here. 8 *elt str nge &rge to get st rted. M ybe 8 didnFt h ve th t long le*t in /or$s. 8 toyed with the wrist str p on the c "er , wondering bo&t the *irst pict&re on the roll. !o&ld it possibly t&rn o&t nything close to the origin lK 8 do&bted it. B&t he didnFt see" worried th t it wo&ld be bl n$. 8 ch&c$led to "ysel*, thin$ing o* his c re*ree l &ghter l st night. The ch&c$le died w y. So "&ch h d ch nged, nd so br&ptly. 8t " de "e *eel little bit diIIy, li$e 8 w s st nding on n edge, precipice so"ewhere "&ch too high. 8 didnFt w nt to thin$ bo&t th t ny"ore. 8 gr bbed the c "er nd he ded &p the st irs.
My roo" h dnFt re lly ch nged ll th t "&ch in the seventeen ye rs since "y "other h d been here. The w lls were still light bl&e, the s "e yellowed l ce c&rt ins h&ng in *ront o* the window. There w s bed, r ther th n crib, b&t she wo&ld recogniIe the H&ilt dr ped &ntidily over the top3it h d been gi*t BEM %r n. Beg rdless, 8 sn pped pict&re o* "y roo". There w snFt "&ch else 8 co&ld do tonight3it w s too d r$ o&tside3 nd the *eeling w s growing stronger, it w s l"ost co"p&lsion now. 8 wo&ld record everything bo&t /or$s be*ore 8 h d to le ve it. !h nge w s co"ing. 8 co&ld *eel it. 8t w snFt ple s nt prospect, not when li*e w s per*ect the w y it w s. 8 too$ "y ti"e co"ing b c$ down the st irs, c "er in h nd, trying to ignore the b&tter*lies in "y sto" ch s 8 tho&ght o* the str nge dist nce 8 didnFt w nt to see in 0dw rdFs eyes. #e wo&ld get over this. ?rob bly he w s worried th t 8 wo&ld be &pset when he s$ed "e to le ve. 8 wo&ld let hi" wor$ thro&gh it witho&t "eddling. And 8 wo&ld be prep red when he s$ed. 8 h d the c "er re dy s 8 le ned ro&nd the corner, being sne $y. 8 w s s&re there w s no ch nce th t 8 h d c &ght 0dw rd by s&rprise, b&t he didnFt loo$ &p. 8 *elt brie* shiver s so"ething icy twisted in "y sto" chG 8 ignored th t nd too$ the pict&re. They both loo$ed t "e then. !h rlie *rowned. 0dw rdFs * ce w s e"pty, expressionless. L-h t re yo& doing, Bell KL !h rlie co"pl ined. LEh, co"e on.L 8 pretended to s"ile s 8 went to sit on the *loor in *ront o* the so* where !h rlie lo&nged. L+o& $now Mo" will be c lling soon to s$ i* 8F" &sing "y presents. 8 h ve to get to wor$ be*ore she c n get her *eelings h&rt.L L-hy re yo& t $ing pict&res o* "e, tho&ghKL he gr&"bled. LBec &se yo&Fre so h ndso"e,L 8 replied, $eeping it light. LAnd bec &se, since yo& bo&ght the c "er , yo&Fre oblig ted to be one o* "y s&bJects.L #e "&"bled so"ething &nintelligible. L#ey, 0dw rd,L 8 s id with d"ir ble indi**erence. LT $e one o* "e nd "y d d together.L 8 threw the c "er tow rd hi", c re*&lly voiding his eyes, nd $nelt beside the r" o* the so* where !h rlieFs * ce w s. !h rlie sighed.
L+o& need to s"ile, Bell ,L 0dw rd "&r"&red. 8 did "y best, nd the c "er *l shed. LLet "e t $e one o* yo& $ids,L !h rlie s&ggested. 8 $new he w s J&st trying to shi*t the c "er Fs *oc&s *ro" hi"sel*. 0dw rd stood nd lightly tossed hi" the c "er . 8 went to st nd beside 0dw rd, nd the rr nge"ent *elt *or" l nd str nge to "e. #e p&t one h nd lightly on "y sho&lder, nd 8 wr pped "y r" "ore sec&rely ro&nd his w ist. 8 w nted to loo$ t his * ce, b&t 8 w s *r id to. LS"ile, Bell ,L !h rlie re"inded "e g in. 8 too$ deep bre th nd s"iled. The *l sh blinded "e. L0no&gh pict&res *or tonight,L !h rlie s id then, shoving the c "er into crevice o* the so* c&shions nd rolling over it. L+o& donFt h ve to &se the whole roll now.L 0dw rd dropped his h nd *ro" "y sho&lder nd twisted c s& lly o&t o* "y r". #e s t b c$ down in the r"ch ir. 8 hesit ted, nd then went to sit g inst the so* g in. 8 w s s&ddenly so *rightened th t "y h nds were sh $ing. 8 pressed the" into "y sto" ch to hide the", p&t "y chin on "y $nees nd st red t the T, screen in *ront o* "e, seeing nothing. -hen the show ended, 8 h dnFt "oved n inch. E&t o* the corner o* "y eye, 8 s w 0dw rd st nd. L8Fd better get ho"e,L he s id. !h rlie didnFt loo$ &p *ro" the co""erci l. LSee y .L 8 got w$w rdly to "y *eet38 w s sti** *ro" sitting so still3 nd *ollowed 0dw rd o&t the *ront door. #e went str ight to his c r. L-ill yo& st yKL 8 s$ed, no hope in "y voice. 8 expected his nswer, so it didnFt h&rt s "&ch. LNot tonight.L 8 didnFt s$ *or re son. #e got in his c r nd drove w y while 8 stood there, &n"oving. 8 b rely noticed th t it w s r ining. 8 w ited, witho&t $nowing wh t 8 w ited *or, &ntil the door opened behind "e. LBell , wh t re yo& doingKL !h rlie s$ed, s&rprised to see "e st nding there lone nd dripping. LNothing.L 8 t&rned nd tr&dged b c$ to the ho&se.
8t w s long night, with little in the w y o* rest. 8 got &p s soon s there w s * int light o&tside "y window. 8 dressed *or school "ech nic lly, w iting *or the clo&ds to brighten. -hen 8 h d e ten bowl o* cere l, 8 decided th t it w s light eno&gh *or pict&res. 8 too$ one o* "y tr&c$, nd then the *ront o* the ho&se. 8 t&rned nd sn pped *ew o* the *orest by !h rlieFs ho&se. /&nny how it didnFt see" sinister li$e it &sed to. 8 re liIed 8 wo&ld "iss this3the green, the ti"elessness, the "ystery o* the woods. All o* it. 8 p&t the c "er in "y school b g be*ore 8 le*t. 8 tried to concentr te on "y new proJect r ther th n the * ct th t 0dw rd pp rently h dnFt gotten over things d&ring the night. Along with the *e r, 8 w s beginning to *eel i"p tience. #ow long co&ld this l stK 8t l sted thro&gh the "orning. #e w l$ed silently beside "e, never see"ing to ct& lly loo$ t "e. 8 tried to concentr te on "y cl sses, b&t not even 0nglish co&ld hold "y ttention. Mr. Berty h d to repe t his H&estion bo&t L dy ! p&let twice be*ore 8 re liIed he w s t l$ing to "e. 0dw rd whispered the correct nswer &nder his bre th nd then went b c$ to ignoring "e. At l&nch, the silence contin&ed. 8 *elt li$e 8 w s going to st rt scre "ing t ny "o"ent, so, to distr ct "ysel*, 8 le ned cross the t bleFs invisible line nd spo$e to 7essic . L#ey, 7essKL L-h tFs &p, Bell KL L!o&ld yo& do "e * vorKL 8 s$ed, re ching into "y b g. LMy "o" w nts "e to get so"e pict&res o* "y *riends *or scr pboo$. So, t $e so"e pict&res o* everybody, o$ yKL 8 h nded her the c "er . LS&re,L she s id, grinning, nd t&rned to sn p c ndid shot o* Mi$e with his "o&th *&ll. A predict ble pict&re w r ens&ed. 8 w tched the" h nd the c "er ro&nd the t ble, giggling nd *lirting nd co"pl ining bo&t being on *il". 8t see"ed str ngely childish. M ybe 8 J&st w snFt in the "ood *or nor" l h&" n beh vior tod y. L'h6oh,L 7essic s id pologetic lly s she ret&rned the c "er . L8 thin$ we &sed ll yo&r *il".L LTh tFs o$ y. 8 thin$ 8 lre dy got pict&res o* everything else 8 needed.L A*ter school, 0dw rd w l$ed "e b c$ to the p r$ing lot in silence. 8 h d to wor$ g in, nd *or once, 8 w s gl d. Ti"e with "e obvio&sly w snFt helping things. M ybe ti"e lone wo&ld be better. 8 dropped "y *il" o** t the Thri*tw y on "y w y to NewtonFs, nd then pic$ed &p the developed pict&res *ter wor$. At ho"e, 8 s id brie* hi to !h rlie, gr bbed gr nol b r *ro" the $itchen, nd h&rried &p to "y roo" with the envelope o* photogr phs t&c$ed &nder "y r". 8 s t in the "iddle o* "y bed nd opened the envelope with w ry c&riosity. Bidic&lo&sly, 8 still h l* expected the *irst print to be bl n$.
-hen 8 p&lled it o&t, 8 g sped lo&d. 0dw rd loo$ed J&st s be &ti*&l s he did in re l li*e, st ring t "e o&t o* the pict&re with the w r" eyes 8Fd "issed *or the p st *ew d ys. 8t w s l"ost &nc nny th t nyone co&ld loo$ soN soN beyond description. No tho&s nd words co&ld eH& l this pict&re. 8 *lipped thro&gh the rest o* the st c$ H&ic$ly once, nd then l id three o* the" o&t on the bed side by side. The *irst w s the pict&re o* 0dw rd in the $itchen, his w r" eyes to&ched with toler nt "&se"ent. The second w s 0dw rd nd !h rlie, w tching 0S?N. The di**erence in 0dw rdFs expression w s severe. #is eyes were c re*&l here, reserved. Still bre tht $ingly be &ti*&l, b&t his * ce w s colder, "ore li$e sc&lpt&re, less live. The l st w s the pict&re o* 0dw rd nd "e st nding w$w rdly side by side. 0dw rdFs * ce w s the s "e s the l st, cold nd st t&e6li$e. B&t th t w snFt the "ost tro&bling p rt o* this photogr ph. The contr st between the two o* &s w s p in*&l. #e loo$ed li$e god. 8 loo$ed very ver ge, even *or h&" n, l"ost sh "e*&lly pl in. 8 *lipped the pict&re over with *eeling o* disg&st. 8nste d o* doing "y ho"ewor$, 8 st yed &p to p&t "y pict&res into the lb&". -ith b llpoint pen 8 scr wled c ptions &nder ll the pict&res, the n "es nd the d tes. 8 got to the pict&re o* 0dw rd nd "e, nd, witho&t loo$ing t it too long, 8 *olded it in h l* nd st&c$ it &nder the "et l t b, 0dw rd6side &p. -hen 8 w s done, 8 st&**ed the second set o* prints in *resh envelope nd penned long th n$6 yo& letter to Benee. 0dw rd still h dnFt co"e over. 8 didnFt w nt to d"it th t he w s the re son 8Fd st yed &p so l te, b&t o* co&rse he w s. 8 tried to re"e"ber the l st ti"e heFd st yed w y li$e this, witho&t n exc&se, phone c llN #e never h d. Ag in, 8 didnFt sleep well. School *ollowed the silent, *r&str ting, terri*ying p ttern o* the l st two d ys. 8 *elt relie* when 8 s w 0dw rd w iting *or "e in the p r$ing lot, b&t it * ded H&ic$ly. #e w s no di**erent, &nless " ybe "ore re"ote. 8t w s h rd to even re"e"ber the re son *or ll this "ess. My birthd y lre dy *elt li$e the dist nt p st. 8* only Alice wo&ld co"e b c$. Soon. Be*ore this got ny "ore o&t o* h nd. B&t 8 co&ldnFt co&nt on th t. 8 decided th t, i* 8 co&ldnFt t l$ to hi" tod y, re lly t l$, then 8 w s going to see ! rlisle to"orrow. 8 h d to do so"ething. A*ter school, 0dw rd nd 8 were going to t l$ it o&t, 8 pro"ised "ysel*. 8 w snFt ccepting ny exc&ses. #e w l$ed "e to "y tr&c$, nd 8 steeled "ysel* to " $e "y de" nds. LDo yo& "ind i* 8 co"e over tod yKL he s$ed be*ore we got to the tr&c$, be ting "e to the p&nch. LE* co&rse not.L
LNowKL he s$ed g in, opening "y door *or "e. LS&re,L 8 $ept "y voice even, tho&gh 8 didnFt li$e the &rgency in his tone. L8 w s J&st going to drop letter *or Benee in the " ilbox on the w y. 8Fll "eet yo& there.L #e loo$ed t the * t envelope on the p ssenger se t. S&ddenly, he re ched over "e nd sn gged it. L8Fll do it,L he s id H&ietly. LAnd 8Fll still be t yo& there.L #e s"iled "y * vorite croo$ed s"ile, b&t it w s wrong. 8t didnFt re ch his eyes. LE$ y,L 8 greed, &n ble to s"ile b c$. #e sh&t the door, nd he ded tow rd his c r. #e did be t "e ho"e. #e w s p r$ed in !h rlieFs spot when 8 p&lled &p in *ront o* the ho&se. Th t w s b d sign. #e didnFt pl n to st y, then. 8 shoo$ "y he d nd too$ deep bre th, trying to loc te so"e co&r ge. #e got o&t o* his c r when 8 stepped o&t o* the tr&c$, nd c "e to "eet "e. #e re ched to t $e "y boo$ b g *ro" "e. Th t w s nor" l. B&t he shoved it b c$ onto the se t. Th t w s not nor" l. L!o"e *or w l$ with "e,L he s&ggested in n &ne"otion l voice, t $ing "y h nd. 8 didnFt nswer. 8 co&ldnFt thin$ o* w y to protest, b&t 8 inst ntly $new th t 8 w nted to. 8 didnFt li$e this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in "y he d repe ted g in nd g in. B&t he didnFt w it *or n nswer. #e p&lled "e long tow rd the e st side o* the y rd, where the *orest encro ched. 8 *ollowed &nwillingly, trying to thin$ thro&gh the p nic. 8t w s wh t 8 w nted, 8 re"inded "ysel*. The ch nce to t l$ it ll thro&gh. So why w s the p nic cho$ing "eK -eFd gone only *ew steps into the trees when he stopped. -e were b rely on the tr il38 co&ld still see the ho&se. So"e w l$. 0dw rd le ned g inst tree nd st red t "e, his expression &nre d ble. LE$ y, letFs t l$,L 8 s id. 8t so&nded br ver th n it *elt. #e too$ deep bre th. LBell , weFre le ving.L 8 too$ deep bre th, too. This w s n ccept ble option. 8 tho&ght 8 w s prep red. B&t 8 still h d to s$. L-hy nowK Another ye r3L LBell , itFs ti"e. #ow "&ch longer co&ld we st y in /or$s, *ter llK ! rlisle c n b rely p ss *or thirty, nd heFs cl i"ing thirty6three now. -eFd h ve to st rt over soon reg rdless.L
#is nswer con*&sed "e. 8 tho&ght the point o* le ving w s to let his * "ily live in pe ce. -hy did we h ve to le ve i* they were goingK 8 st red t hi", trying to &nderst nd wh t he "e nt. #e st red b c$ coldly. -ith roll o* n &se , 8 re liIed 8Fd "is&nderstood. L-hen yo& s y e3,L 8 whispered. L8 "e n "y * "ily nd "ysel*.L 0 ch word sep r te nd distinct. 8 shoo$ "y he d b c$ nd *orth "ech nic lly, trying to cle r it. #e w ited witho&t ny sign o* i"p tience. 8t too$ *ew "in&tes be*ore 8 co&ld spe $. LE$ y,L 8 s id. L8Fll co"e with yo&.L L+o& c nFt, Bell . -here weFre goingN 8tFs not the right pl ce *or yo&.L L-here yo& re is the right pl ce *or "e.L L8F" no good *or yo&, Bell .L LDonFt be ridic&lo&s.L 8 w nted to so&nd ngry, b&t it J&st so&nded li$e 8 w s begging. L+o&Fre the very best p rt o* "y li*e.L LMy world is not *or yo&,L he s id gri"ly. L-h t h ppened with 7 sper3th t w s nothing, 0dw rdM NothingML L+o&Fre right,L he greed. L8t w s ex ctly wh t w s to be expected.L L+o& pro"isedM 8n ?hoenix, yo& pro"ised th t yo& wo&ld st y3L LAs long s th t w s best *or yo&,L he interr&pted to correct "e. LNoM This is bo&t "y so&l, isnFt itKL 8 sho&ted, *&rio&s, the words exploding o&t o* "e3 so"ehow it still so&nded li$e ple . L! rlisle told "e bo&t th t, nd 8 donFt c re, 0dw rd. 8 donFt c reM +o& c n h ve "y so&l. 8 donFt w nt it witho&t yo&3itFs yo&rs lre dyML #e too$ deep bre th nd st red, &nseeingly, t the gro&nd *or long "o"ent. #is "o&th twisted the tiniest bit. -hen he *in lly loo$ed &p, his eyes were di**erent, h rder3li$e the liH&id gold h d *roIen solid. LBell , 8 donFt w nt yo& to co"e with "e.L #e spo$e the words slowly nd precisely, his cold eyes on "y * ce, w tching s 8 bsorbed wh t he w s re lly s ying. There w s p &se s 8 repe ted the words in "y he d *ew ti"es, si*ting thro&gh the" *or their re l intent. L+o&N donFtN w nt "eKL 8 tried o&t the words, con*&sed by the w y they so&nded, pl ced in th t order.
LNo.L 8 st red, &nco"prehending, into his eyes. #e st red b c$ witho&t pology. #is eyes were li$e top I3h rd nd cle r nd very deep. 8 *elt li$e 8 co&ld see into the" *or "iles nd "iles, yet nowhere in rheir botto"less depths co&ld 8 see contr diction to the word heFd spo$en. L-ell, th t ch nges things.L 8 w s s&rprised by how c l" nd re son ble "y voice so&nded. 8t "&st be bec &se 8 w s so n&"b. 8 co&ldnFt re liIe wh t he w s telling "e. 8t still didnFt " $e ny sense. #e loo$ed w y into the trees s he spo$e g in. LE* co&rse, 8Fll lw ys love yo&N in w y. B&t wh t h ppened the other night " de "e re liIe th t itFs ti"e *or ch nge. Bec &se 8F"N tired o* pretending to be so"ething 8F" not, Bell . 8 " not h&" n.L #e loo$ed b c$, nd the icy pl nes o* his per*ect * ce were not h&" n. L8Fve let this go on "&ch too long, nd 8F" sorry *or th t.L LDonFt.L My voice w s J&st whisper nowG w reness w s beginning to seep thro&gh "e, tric$ling li$e cid thro&gh "y veins. LDonFt do this.L #e J&st st red t "e, nd 8 co&ld see *ro" his eyes th t "y words were * r too l te. #e lre dy h d. L+o&Fre not good *or "e, Bell .L #e t&rned his e rlier words ro&nd, nd so 8 h d no rg&"ent. #ow well 8 $new th t 8 w snFt good eno&gh *or hi". 8 opened "y "o&th to s y so"ething, nd then closed it g in. #e w ited p tiently, his * ce wiped cle n o* ll e"otion. 8 tried g in. L8*N th tFs wh t yo& w nt.L #e nodded once. My whole body went n&"b. 8 co&ldnFt *eel nything below the nec$. L8 wo&ld li$e to s$ one * vor, tho&gh, i* th tFs not too "&ch,L he s id. 8 wonder wh t he s w on "y * ce, bec &se so"ething *lic$ered cross his own * ce in response. B&t, be*ore 8 co&ld identi*y it, heFd co"posed his *e t&res into the s "e serene " s$. LAnything,L 8 vowed, "y voice * intly stronger. As 8 w tched, his *roIen eyes "elted. The gold bec "e liH&id g in, "olten, b&rning down into "ine with n intensity th t w s overwhel"ing. LDonFt do nything rec$less or st&pid,L he ordered, no longer det ched. LDo yo& &nderst nd wh t 8F" s yingKL 8 nodded helplessly. #is eyes cooled, the dist nce ret&rned. L8F" thin$ing o* !h rlie, o* co&rse. #e needs yo&. T $e c re o* yo&rsel*3*or hi".L 8 nodded g in. L8 will,L 8 whispered.
#e see"ed to rel x J&st little. LAnd 8Fll " $e yo& pro"ise in ret&rn,L he s id. L8 pro"ise th t this will be the l st ti"e yo&Fll see "e. 8 wonFt co"e b c$. 8 wonFt p&t yo& thro&gh nything li$e this g in. +o& c n go on with yo&r li*e witho&t ny "ore inter*erence *ro" "e. 8t will be s i* 8Fd never existed.L My $nees "&st h ve st rted to sh $e, bec &se the trees were s&ddenly wobbling. 8 co&ld he r the blood po&nding * ster th n nor" l behind "y e rs. #is voice so&nded * rther w y. #e s"iled gently. LDonFt worry. +o&Fre h&" n3yo&r "e"ory is no "ore th n sieve. Ti"e he ls ll wo&nds *or yo&r $ind.L LAnd yo&r "e"oriesKL 8 s$ed. 8t so&nded li$e there w s so"ething st&c$ in "y thro t, li$e 8 w s cho$ing. L-ellL3he hesit ted *or short second3L8 wonFt *orget. B&t my $indN weFre very e sily distr cted.L #e s"iledG the s"ile w s tr nH&il nd it did not to&ch his eyes. #e too$ step w y *ro" "e. LTh tFs everything, 8 s&ppose. -e wonFt bother yo& g in.L The pl&r l c &ght "y ttention. Th t s&rprised "eG 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght 8 w s beyond noticing nything. LAlice isnFt co"ing b c$,L 8 re liIed. 8 donFt $now how he he rd "e3the words " de no so&nd 3b&t he see"ed to &nderst nd. #e shoo$ his he d slowly, lw ys w tching "y * ce. LNo. TheyFre ll gone. 8 st ved behind to tell yo& goodbye.L LAlice is goneKL My voice w s bl n$ with disbelie*. LShe w nted to s y goodbye, b&t 8 convinced her th t cle n bre $ wo&ld be better *or yo&.L 8 w s diIIyG it w s h rd to concentr te. #is words swirled ro&nd in "y he d, nd 8 he rd the doctor t the hospit l in ?hoenix, l st spring, s he showed "e the P6r ys. .ou can see it$s a clean break, his *inger tr ced long the pict&re o* "y severed bone. That$s good. It ill heal more easily, more /uickly. 8 tried to bre the nor" lly. 8 needed to concentr te, to *ind w y o&t o* this night" re. L%oodbye, Bell ,L he s id in the s "e H&iet, pe ce*&l voice. L- itML 8 cho$ed o&t the word, re ching *or hi", willing "y de dened legs to c rry "e *orw rd. 8 tho&ght he w s re ching *or "e, too. B&t his cold h nds loc$ed ro&nd "y wrists nd pinned the" to "y sides. #e le ned down, nd pressed his lips very lightly to "y *orehe d *or the brie*est inst nt. My eyes closed. LT $e c re o* yo&rsel*,L he bre thed, cool g inst "y s$in.
There w s light, &nn t&r l breeIe. My eyes *l shed open. The le ves on s" ll vine " ple sh&ddered with the gentle wind o* his p ss ge. #e w s gone. -ith sh $y legs, ignoring the * ct th t "y ction w s &seless, 8 *ollowed hi" into the *orest. The evidence o* his p th h d dis ppe red inst ntly. There were no *ootprints, the le ves were still g in, b&t 8 w l$ed *orw rd witho&t thin$ing. 8 co&ld not do nything else. 8 h d to $eep "oving. 8* 8 stopped loo$ing *or hi", it w s over. Love, li*e, "e ningN over. 8 w l$ed nd w l$ed. Ti"e " de no sense s 8 p&shed slowly thro&gh the thic$ &ndergrowth. 8t w s ho&rs p ssing, b&t lso only seconds. M ybe it *elt li$e ti"e h d *roIen bec &se the *orest loo$ed the s "e no " tter how * r 8 went. 8 st rted to worry th t 8 w s tr veling in circle, very s" ll circle t th t, b&t 8 $ept going. 8 st&"bled o*ten, nd, s it grew d r$er nd d r$er, 8 *ell o*ten, too. /in lly, 8 tripped over so"ething3it w s bl c$ now, 8 h d no ide wh t c &ght "y *oot3 nd 8 st yed down. 8 rolled onto "y side, so th t 8 co&ld bre the, nd c&rled &p on the wet br c$en. As 8 l y there, 8 h d *eeling th t "ore ti"e w s p ssing th n 8 re liIed. 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber how long it h d been since night* ll. - s it lw ys so d r$ here t nightK S&rely, s r&le, so"e little bit o* "oonlight wo&ld *ilter down thro&gh the clo&ds, thro&gh the chin$s in the c nopy o* trees, nd *ind the gro&nd. Not tonight. Tonight the s$y w s &tterly bl c$. ?erh ps there w s no "oon tonight3 l&n r eclipse, new "oon. A new "oon. 8 shivered, tho&gh 8 w snFt cold. 8t w s bl c$ *or long ti"e be*ore 8 he rd the" c lling. So"eone w s sho&ting "y n "e. 8t w s "&ted, "&**led by the wet growth th t s&rro&nded "e, b&t it w s de*initely "y n "e. 8 didnFt recogniIe the voice. 8 tho&ght bo&t nswering, b&t 8 w s d Ied, nd it too$ long ti"e to co"e to the concl&sion th t 8 should nswer. By then, the c lling h d stopped. So"eti"e l ter, the r in wo$e "e &p. 8 donFt thin$ 8Fd re lly * llen sleepG 8 w s J&st lost in n &nthin$ing st&por, holding with ll "y strength to the n&"bness th t $ept "e *ro" re liIing wh t 8 didnFt w nt to $now. The r in bothered "e little. 8t w s cold. 8 &nwr pped "y r"s *ro" ro&nd "y legs to cover "y * ce. 8t w s then th t 8 he rd the c lling g in. 8t w s * rther w y this ti"e, nd so"eti"es it so&nded li$e sever l voices were c lling t once. 8 tried to bre the deeply. 8 re"e"bered th t 8 sho&ld nswer, b&t 8 didnFt thin$ they wo&ld be ble to he r "e. -o&ld 8 be ble to sho&t lo&d eno&ghK S&ddenly, there w s nother so&nd, st rtlingly close. A $ind o* sn&**ling, n ni" l so&nd. 8t so&nded big. 8 wondered i* 8 sho&ld *eel *r id. 8 didnFt3J&st n&"b. 8t didnFt " tter. The sn&**ling went w y.
The r in contin&ed, nd 8 co&ld *eel the w ter pooling &p g inst "y chee$. 8 w s trying to g ther the strength to t&rn "y he d when 8 s w the light. At *irst it w s J&st di" glow re*lecting o** the b&shes in the dist nce. 8t grew brighter nd brighter, ill&"in ting l rge sp ce &nli$e the *oc&sed be " o* *l shlight. The light bro$e thro&gh the closest br&sh, nd 8 co&ld see th t it w s prop ne l ntern, b&t th t w s ll 8 co&ld see3the brightness blinded "e *or "o"ent. LBell .L The voice w s deep nd &n* "ili r, b&t *&ll o* recognition. #e w snFt c lling "y n "e to se rch, he w s c$nowledging th t 8 w s *o&nd. 8 st red &p3i"possibly high it see"ed3 t the d r$ * ce th t 8 co&ld now see bove "e. 8 w s v g&ely w re th t the str nger prob bly only loo$ed so t ll bec &se "y he d w s still on the gro&nd. L# ve yo& been h&rtKL 8 $new the words "e nt so"ething, b&t 8 co&ld only st re, bewildered. #ow co&ld the "e ning " tter t this pointK LBell , "y n "e is S " 'ley.L There w s nothing * "ili r bo&t his n "e. L!h rlie sent "e to loo$ *or yo&.L !h rlieK Th t str&c$ chord, nd 8 tried to p y "ore ttention to wh t he w s s ying. !h rlie " ttered, i* nothing else did. The t ll " n held o&t h nd. 8 g Ied t it, not s&re wh t 8 w s s&pposed to do. #is bl c$ eyes ppr ised "e *or second, nd then he shr&gged. 8n H&ic$ nd s&pple notion, he p&lled "e &p *ro" the gro&nd nd into his r"s. 8 h&ng there, li"p, s he loped swi*tly thro&gh the wet *orest. So"e p rt o* "e $new this sho&ld &pset "e3being c rried w y by str nger. B&t there w s nothing le*t in "e to &pset. 8t didnFt see" li$e too "&ch ti"e p ssed be*ore there were lights nd the deep b bble o* " ny " le voices. S " 'ley slowed s he ppro ched the co""otion. L8Fve got herML he c lled in boo"ing voice. The b bble ce sed, nd then pic$ed &p g in with "ore intensity. A con*&sing swirl o* * ces "oved over "e. S "Fs voice w s the only one th t " de sense in the ch os, perh ps bec &se "y e r w s g inst his chest. LNo, 8 donFt thin$ sheFs h&rt,L he told so"eone. LShe J&st $eeps s ying F#eFs gone.F L - s 8 s ying th t o&t lo&dK 8 bit down on "y lip.
LBell , honey, re yo& ll rightKL Th t w s one voice 8 wo&ld $now nywhere3even distorted, s it w s now, with worry. L!h rlieKL My voice so&nded str nge nd s" ll. L8F" right here, b by.L There w s shi*ting &nder "e, *ollowed by the le thery s"ell o* "y d dFs sheri** J c$et. !h rlie st ggered &nder "y weight. LM ybe 8 sho&ld hold on to her,L S " 'ley s&ggested. L8Fve got her,L !h rlie s id, little bre thless. #e w l$ed slowly, str&ggling. 8 wished 8 co&ld tell hi" to p&t "e down nd let "e w l$, b&t 8 co&ldnFt *ind "y voice. There were lights everywhere, held by the crowd w l$ing with hi". 8t *elt li$e p r de. Er *&ner l procession. 8 closed "y eyes. L-eFre l"ost ho"e now, honey,L !h rlie "&"bled now nd then. 8 opened "y eyes g in when 8 he rd the door &nloc$. -e were on the porch o* o&r ho&se, nd the t ll d r$ " n n "ed S " w s holding the door *or !h rlie, one r" extended tow rd &s, s i* he w s prep ring to c tch "e when !h rlieFs r"s * iled. B&t !h rlie " n ged to get "e thro&gh the door nd to the co&ch in the living roo". LD d, 8F" ll wet,L 8 obJected *eebly. LTh t doesnFt " tter.L #is voice w s gr&**. And then he w s t l$ing to so"eone else. LBl n$ets re in the c&pbo rd t the top o* the st irs.L LBell KL new voice s$ed. 8 loo$ed t the gr y6h ired " n le ning over "e, nd recognition c "e *ter *ew slow seconds. LDr. %er ndyKL 8 "&"bled. LTh tFs right, de r,L he s id. LAre yo& h&rt, Bell KL 8t too$ "e "in&te to thin$ th t thro&gh. 8 w s con*&sed by the "e"ory o* S " 'leyFs si"il r H&estion in the woods. Enly S " h d s$ed so"ething elseO 0ave you been hurtK heFd s id. The di**erence see"ed signi*ic nt so"ehow. Dr. %er ndy w s w iting. Ene griIIled eyebrow rose, nd the wrin$les on his *orehe d deepened. L8F" not h&rt,L 8 lied. The words, were tr&e eno&gh *or wh t heFd s$ed. #is w r" h nd to&ched "y *orehe d, nd his *ingers pressed g inst the inside o* "y wrist. 8 w tched his lips s he co&nted to hi"sel*, his eyes on his w tch.
L-h t h ppened to yo&KL he s$ed c s& lly. 8 *roIe &nder his h nd, t sting p nic in the b c$ o* "y thro t. LDid yo& get lost in the woodsKL he prodded. 8 w s w re o* sever l other people listening. Three t ll "en with d r$ * ces3*ro" L ?&sh, the A&ile&te 8ndi n reserv tion down on the co stline, 8 g&essed3S " 'ley "ong the", were st nding very close together nd st ring t "e. Mr. Newton w s there with Mi$e nd Mr. -eber, Angel Fs * therG they ll were w tching "e "ore s&rreptitio&sly th n the str ngers. Ether deep voices r&"bled *ro" the $itchen nd o&tside the *ront door. # l* the town "&st h ve been loo$ing *or "e. !h rlie w s the closest. #e le ned in to he r "y nswer. L+es,L 8 whispered. L8 got lost.L The doctor nodded, tho&ght*&l, his *ingers probing gently g inst the gl nds &nder "y J w. !h rlieFs * ce h rdened. LDo yo& *eel tiredKL Dr. %er ndy s$ed. 8 nodded nd closed "y eyes obediently. L8 donFt thin$ thereFs nything wrong with her,L 8 he rd the doctor "&tter to !h rlie *ter "o"ent. L7&st exh &stion. Let her sleep it o**, nd 8Fll co"e chec$ on her to"orrow,L he p &sed. #e "&st h ve loo$ed t his w tch, bec &se he dded, L-ell, l ter tod y ct& lly.L There w s cre $ing so&nd s they both p&shed o** *ro" the co&ch to get to their *eet. L8s it tr&eKL !h rlie whispered. Their voices were * rther w y now. 8 str ined to he r. LDid they le veKL LDr. !&llen s$ed &s not to s y nything,L Dr. %er ndy nswered. LThe o**er w s very s&ddenG they h d to choose i""edi tely. ! rlisle didnFt w nt to " $e big prod&ction o&t o* le ving.L LA little w rning "ight h ve been nice,L !h rlie gr&"bled. Dr. %er ndy so&nded &nco"*ort ble when he replied. L+es, well, in this sit& tion, so"e w rning "ight h ve been c lled *or.L 8 didnFt w nt to listen ny"ore. 8 *elt ro&nd *or the edge o* the H&ilt so"eone h d l id on top o* "e, nd p&lled it over "y e r. 8 dri*ted in nd o&t o* lertness. 8 he rd !h rlie whisper th n$s to the vol&nteers s, one by one, they le*t. 8 *elt his *ingers on "y *orehe d, nd then the weight o* nother bl n$et. The phone r ng *ew ti"es, nd he h&rried to c tch it be*ore it co&ld w $e "e. #e "&ttered re ss&r nces in low voice to the c llers. L+e h, we *o&nd her. SheFs o$ y. She got lost. SheFs *ine now,L he s id g in nd g in. 8 he rd the springs in the r"ch ir gro n when he settled hi"sel* in *or the night. A *ew "in&tes l ter, the phone r ng g in.
!h rlie "o ned s he str&ggled to his *eet, nd then he r&shed, st&"bling, to the $itchen 8 p&lled "y he d deeper &nder the bl n$ets, not w nting to listen to the s "e convers tion g in. L+e h,L !h rlie s id, nd y wned. #is voice ch nged, it w s "&ch "ore lert when he spo$e g in. L-hereKFL There w s p &se. L+o&Fre s&re itFs o&tside the reserv tionKL Another short p &se. LB&t wh t co&ld be b&rning o&t thereKL #e so&nded both worried nd "ysti*ied. LLoo$, 8Fll c ll down there nd chec$ it o&t.L 8 listened with "ore interest s he p&nched in n&"ber. L#ey, Billy, itFs !h rlie3sorry 8F" c lling so e rlyN no, sheFs *ine. SheFs sleepingN Th n$s, b&t th tFs not why 8 c lled. 8 J&st got c ll *ro" Mrs. St nley, nd she s ys th t *ro" her second6 story window she c n see *ires o&t on the se cli**s, b&t 8 didnFt re llyN EhML S&ddenly there w s n edge in his voice3irrit tionN or nger. LAnd why re they doing th tK 'h h&h. Be llyKL #e s id it s rc stic lly. L-ell, donFt pologiIe to me. +e h, ye h. 7&st " $e s&re the *l "es donFt spre dN 8 $now, 8 $now, 8F" s&rprised they got the" lit t ll in this we ther.L !h rlie hesit ted, nd then dded gr&dgingly. LTh n$s *or sending S " nd the other boys &p. +o& were right3they do $now the *orest better th n we do. 8t w s S " who *o&nd her, so 8 owe yo& oneN +e h, 8Fll t l$ to yo& l ter,L he greed, still so&r, be*ore h nging &p. !h rlie "&ttered so"ething incoherent s he sh&**led b c$ to the living roo". L-h tFs wrongKL 8 s$ed. #e h&rried to "y side. L8F" sorry 8 wo$e yo&, honey.L L8s so"ething b&rningKL L8tFs nothing,L he ss&red "e. L7&st so"e bon*ires o&t on the cli**s.L LBon*iresKL 8 s$ed. My voice didnFt so&nd c&rio&s. 8t so&nded de d. !h rlie *rowned. LSo"e o* the $ids *ro" the reserv tion being rowdy,L he expl ined. L-hyKL 8 wondered d&lly. 8 co&ld tell he didnFt w nt to nswer. #e loo$ed t the *loor &nder his $nees. LTheyFre celebr ting the news.L #is tone w s bitter. There w s only one piece o* news 8 co&ld thin$ o*, try s 8 "ight not to. And then the pieces sn pped together. LBec &se the !&llens le*t,L 8 whispered. LThey donFt li$e the !&llens in L ?&sh38Fd *orgotten bo&t th t.L The A&ile&tes h d their s&perstitions bo&t the Lcold ones,L the blood6drin$ers th t were ene"ies to their tribe, J&st li$e they h d their legends o* the gre t *lood nd wol*6"en ncestors. 7&st stories, *ol$lore, to "ost o* the". Then there were the *ew th t believed. !h rlieFs good *riend Billy Bl c$ believed, tho&gh even 7 cob, his own son, tho&ght he w s *&ll o* st&pid s&perstitions. Billy h d w rned "e to st y w y *ro" the !&llensN
The n "e stirred so"ething inside "e, so"ething th t beg n to cl w its w y tow rd the s&r* ce, so"ething 8 $new 8 didnFt w nt to * ce. L8tFs ridic&lo&s,L !h rlie spl&ttered. -e s t in silence *or "o"ent. The s$y w s no longer bl c$ o&tside the window. So"ewhere behind the r in, the s&n w s beginning to rise. LBell KL !h rlie s$ed. 8 loo$ed t hi" &ne sily. L#e le*t yo& lone in the woodsKL !h rlie g&essed. 8 de*lected his H&estion. L#ow did yo& $now where to *ind "eKL My "ind shied w y *ro" the inevit ble w reness th t w s co"ing, co"ing H&ic$ly now. L+o&r note,L !h rlie nswered. s&rprised. #e re ched into the b c$ poc$et o* his Je ns nd p&lled o&t "&ch6 b&sed piece o* p per. 8t w s dirty nd d "p, with "&ltiple cre ses *ro" being opened nd re*olded " ny ti"es. #e &n*olded it g in, nd held it &p s evidence. The "essy h ndwriting w s re" r$ bly close to "y own. #oing for a alk ith 1d ard, up the path, it s id. 2ack soon, 2. L-hen yo& didnFt co"e b c$, 8 c lled the !&llens, nd no one nswered,L !h rlie s id in low voice. LThen 8 c lled the hospit l, nd Dr. %er ndy told "e th t ! rlisle w s gone.L L-here did they goKL 8 "&"bled. #e st red t "e. LDidnFt 0dw rd tell yo&KL 8 shoo$ "y he d, recoiling. The so&nd o* his n "e &nle shed the thing th t w s cl wing inside o* "e3 p in th t $noc$ed "e bre thless, stonished "e with its *orce. !h rlie eyed "e do&bt*&lly s he nswered. L! rlisle too$ Job with big hospit l in Los Angeles. 8 g&ess they threw lot o* "oney t hi".L S&nny L.A. The l st pl ce they wo&ld re lly go. 8 re"e"bered "y night" re with the "irrorN the bright s&nlight shi""ering o** o* his s$in3 Agony ripped thro&gh "e with the "e"ory o* his * ce. L8 w nt to $now i* 0dw rd le*t yo& lone o&t there in the "iddle o* the woods,L !h rlie insisted. #is n "e sent nother w ve o* tort&re thro&gh "e. 8 shoo$ "y he d, *r ntic, desper te to esc pe the p in. L8t w s "y * &lt. #e le*t "e right here on the tr il, in sight o* the ho&seN b&t 8 tried to *ollow hi".L !h rlie st rted to s y so"ethingG childishly, 8 covered "y e rs. L8 c nFt t l$ bo&t this ny"ore, D d. 8 w nt to go to "y roo".L Be*ore he co&ld nswer, 8 scr "bled &p *ro" the co&ch nd l&rched "y w y &p the st irs.
So"eone h d been in the ho&se to le ve note *or !h rlie, note th t wo&ld le d hi" to *ind "e. /ro" the "in&te th t 8Fd re liIed this, horrible s&spicion beg n to grow in "y he d. 8 r&shed to "y roo", sh&tting nd loc$ing the door behind "e be*ore 8 r n to the !D pl yer by "y bed. 0verything loo$ed ex ctly the s "e s 8Fd le*t it. 8 pressed down on the top o* the !D pl yer. The l tch &nhoo$ed, nd the lid slowly sw&ng open. 8t w s e"pty. The lb&" Benee h d given "e s t on the *loor beside the bed, J&st where 8Fd p&t it l st. 8 li*ted the cover with sh $ing h nd. 8 didnFt h ve to *lip ny * rther th n the *irst p ge. The little "et l corners no longer held pict&re in pl ce. The p ge w s bl n$ except *or "y own h ndwriting scr wled cross the botto"O 1d ard +ullen, +harlie$s kitchen, Sept. 34th. 8 stopped there. 8 w s s&re th t he wo&ld h ve been very thoro&gh. It ill be as if I$d never e5isted, heFd pro"ised "e. 8 *elt the s"ooth wooden *loor bene th "y $nees, nd then the p l"s o* "y h nds, nd then it w s pressed g inst the s$in o* "y chee$. 8 hoped th t 8 w s * inting, b&t, to "y dis ppoint"ent, 8 didnFt lose conscio&sness. The w ves o* p in th t h d only l pped t "e be*ore now re red high &p nd w shed over "y he d, p&lling "e &nder. 8 did not res&r* ce.
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
JANUARY
4. WAKING UP
T8M0 ?ASS0S. 0,0N -#0N 8T S00MS 8M?ESS8BL0. 0,0N when e ch tic$ o* the second h nd ches li$e the p&lse o* blood behind br&ise. 8t p sses &nevenly, in str nge l&rches nd dr gging l&lls, b&t p ss it does. 0ven *or "e.
!#ABL80FS /8ST !AM0 DE-N EN T#0 TABL0. LT#ATFS 8T, Bell M 8F" sending yo& ho"e.L 8 loo$ed &p *ro" "y cere l, which 8 w s pondering r ther th n e ting, nd st red t !h rlie in shoc$. 8 h dnFt been *ollowing the convers tion3 ct& lly, 8 h dnFt been w re th t we were h ving convers tion3 nd 8 w snFt s&re wh t he "e nt. L8 am ho"e,L 8 "&"bled, con*&sed. L8F" sending yo& to Benee, to 7 c$sonville,L he cl ri*ied. !h rlie w tched with ex sper tion s 8 slowly gr sped the "e ning o* his words. L-h t did 8 doKL 8 *elt "y * ce cr&"ple. 8t w s so &n* ir. My beh vior h d been bove repro ch *or the p st *o&r "onths. A*ter th t *irst wee$, which neither o* &s ever "entioned, 8 h dnFt "issed d y o* school or wor$. My gr des were per*ect. 8 never bro$e c&r*ew38 never went nywhere *ro" which to bre $ c&r*ew in the *irst pl ce. 8 only very r rely served le*tovers. !h rlie w s scowling. L+o& didnFt do nything. Th tFs the proble". +o& never do nything.L L+o& w nt "e to get into tro&bleKL 8 wondered, "y eyebrows p&lling together in "ysti*ic tion. 8 " de n e**ort to p y ttention. 8t w snFt e sy. 8 w s so &sed to t&ning everything o&t, "y e rs *elt stopped &p. LTro&ble wo&ld be better th n thisN this "oping ro&nd ll the ti"eML Th t st&ng bit. 8Fd been c re*&l to void ll *or"s o* "oroseness, "oping incl&ded. L8 " not "oping ro&nd.L L-rong word,L he gr&dgingly conceded. LMoping wo&ld be better3th t wo&ld be doing something. +o&Fre J&stN li*eless, Bell . 8 thin$ th tFs the word 8 w nt.L This cc&s tion str&c$ ho"e. 8 sighed nd tried to p&t so"e ni" tion into "y response. L8F" sorry, D d.L My pology so&nded little *l t, even to "e. 8Fd tho&ght 8Fd been *ooling hi". Ceeping !h rlie *ro" s&**ering w s the whole point o* ll this e**ort. #ow depressing to thin$ th t the e**ort h d been w sted. L8 donFt w nt yo& to pologiIe.L 8 sighed. LThen tell "e wh t yo& do w nt "e to do.L
LBell ,L he hesit ted, scr&tiniIing "y re ction to his next words. L#oney, yo&Fre not the *irst person to go thro&gh this $ind o* thing, yo& $now.L L8 $now th t.L My cco"p nying gri" ce w s li"p nd &ni"pressive. LListen, honey. 8 thin$ th t3th t " ybe yo& need so"e help.L L#elpKL #e p &sed, se rching *or the words g in. L-hen yo&r "other le*t,L he beg n, *rowning, L nd too$ yo& with her.L #e inh led deeply. L-ell, th t w s re lly b d ti"e *or "e.L L8 $now, D d,L 8 "&"bled. LB&t 8 h ndled it,L he pointed o&t. L#oney, yo&Fre not h ndling it. 8 w ited, 8 hoped it wo&ld get better.L #e st red t "e nd 8 loo$ed down H&ic$ly. L8 thin$ we both $now itFs not getting better.L L8F" *ine.L #e ignored "e. LM ybe, well, " ybe i* yo& t l$ed to so"eone bo&t it. A pro*ession l.L L+o& w nt "e to see shrin$KL My voice w s sh de sh rper s 8 re liIed wh t he w s getting t. LM ybe it wo&ld help.L LAnd " ybe it wo&ldnFt help one little bit.L 8 didnFt $now "&ch bo&t psycho n lysis, b&t 8 w s pretty s&re th t it didnFt wor$ &nless the s&bJect w s rel tively honest. S&re, 8 co&ld tell the tr&th3i* 8 w nted to spend the rest o* "y li*e in p dded cell. #e ex "ined "y obstin te expression, nd switched to nother line o* tt c$. L8tFs beyond "e, Bell . M ybe yo&r "other3L LLoo$,L 8 s id in *l t voice. L8Fll go o&t tonight, i* yo& w nt. 8Fll c ll 7ess or Angel .L LTh tFs not wh t 8 w nt,L he rg&ed, *r&str ted. L8 donFt thin$ 8 c n live thro&gh seeing yo& try harder. 8Fve never seen nyone trying so h rd. 8t h&rts to w tch.L 8 pretended to be dense, loo$ing down t the t ble. L8 donFt &nderst nd, D d. /irst yo&Fre " d bec &se 8F" not doing nything, nd then yo& s y yo& donFt w nt "e to go o&t.L L8 w nt yo& to be h ppy3no, not even th t "&ch. 8 J&st w nt yo& not to be "iser ble. 8 thin$ yo&Fll h ve better ch nce i* yo& get o&t o* /or$s.L My eyes *l shed &p with the *irst s" ll sp r$ o* *eeling 8Fd h d in too long to conte"pl te. L8F" not le ving,L 8 s id. L-hy notKL he de" nded.
L8F" in "y l st se"ester o* school3it wo&ld screw everything &p.L L+o&Fre good st&dent3yo&Fll *ig&re it o&t.L L8 donFt w nt to crowd Mo" nd ?hil.L L+o&r "otherFs been dying to h ve yo& b c$.L L/lorid is too hot.L #is *ist c "e down on the t ble g in. L-e both $now wh tFs re lly going on here, Bell , nd itFs not good *or yo&.L #e too$ deep bre th. L8tFs been "onths. No c lls, no letters, no cont ct. +o& c nFt $eep w iting *or hi".L 8 glowered t hi". The he t l"ost, b&t not H&ite, re ched "y * ce. 8t h d been long ti"e since 8Fd bl&shed with ny e"otion. This whole s&bJect w s &tterly *orbidden, s he w s well w re. L8F" not w iting *or nything. 8 donFt expect nything,L 8 s id in low "onotone. LBell 3,L !h rlie beg n, his voice thic$. L8 h ve to get to school,L 8 interr&pted, st nding &p nd y n$ing "y &nto&ched bre $* st *ro" the t ble. 8 d&"ped "y bowl in the sin$ witho&t p &sing to w sh it o&t. 8 co&ldnFt de l with ny "ore convers tion. L8Fll " $e pl ns with 7essic ,L 8 c lled over "y sho&lder s 8 str pped on "y school b g, not "eeting his eyes. LM ybe 8 wonFt be ho"e *or dinner. -eFll go to ?ort Angeles nd w tch "ovie.L 8 w s o&t the *ront door be*ore he co&ld re ct. 8n "y h ste to get w y *ro" !h rlie, 8 ended &p being one o* the *irst ones to school. The pl&s side w s th t 8 got re lly good p r$ing spot. The downside w s th t 8 h d *ree ti"e on "y h nds, nd 8 tried to void *ree ti"e t ll costs. A&ic$ly, be*ore 8 co&ld st rt thin$ing bo&t !h rlieFs cc&s tions, 8 p&lled o&t "y ! lc&l&s boo$. 8 *lipped it open to the section we sho&ld be st rting tod y, nd tried to " $e sense o* it. Be ding " th w s even worse th n listening to it, b&t 8 w s getting better t it. 8n the l st sever l "onths, 8Fd spent ten ti"es the "o&nt o* ti"e on ! lc&l&s th n 8Fd ever spent on " th be*ore. As res&lt, 8 w s " n ging to $eep in the r nge o* low A. 8 $new Mr. , rner *elt "y i"prove"ent w s ll d&e to his s&perior te ching "ethods. And i* th t " de hi" h ppy, 8 w snFt going to b&rst his b&bble. 8 *orced "ysel* to $eep t it &ntil the p r$ing lot w s *&ll, nd 8 ended &p r&shing to 0nglish. -e were wor$ing on Animal Farm, n e sy s&bJect " tter. 8 didnFt "ind co""&nis"G it w s welco"e ch nge *ro" the exh &sting ro" nces th t " de &p "ost o* the c&rric&l&". 8 settled into "y se t, ple sed by the distr ction o* Mr. BertyFs lect&re. Ti"e "oved e sily while 8 w s in school. The bell r ng ll too soon. 8 st rted rep c$ing "y b g.
LBell KL 8 recogniIed Mi$eFs voice, nd 8 $new wh t his next words wo&ld be be*ore he s id the". LAre yo& wor$ing to"orrowKL 8 loo$ed &p. #e w s le ning cross the isle with n nxio&s expression. 0very /rid y he s$ed "e the s "e H&estion. Never "ind th t 8 h dnFt t $en so "&ch s sic$ d y. -ell, with one exception, "onths go. B&t he h d no re son to loo$ t "e with s&ch concern. 8 w s "odel e"ployee. LTo"orrow is S t&rd y, isnFt itKL 8 s id. # ving J&st h d it pointed o&t to "e by !h rlie, 8 re liIed how li*eless "y voice re lly so&nded. L+e h, it is,L he greed. LSee yo& in Sp nish.L #e w ved once be*ore t&rning his b c$. #e didnFt bother w l$ing "e to cl ss ny"ore. 8 tr&dged o** to ! lc&l&s with gri" expression. This w s the cl ss where 8 s t next to 7essic . 8t h d been wee$s, " ybe "onths, since 7ess h d even greeted "e when 8 p ssed her in the h ll. 8 $new 8 h d o**ended her with "y ntisoci l beh vior, nd she w s s&l$ing. 8t w snFt going to be e sy to t l$ to her now3especi lly to s$ her to do "e * vor. 8 weighed "y options c re*&lly s 8 loitered o&tside the cl ssroo", procr stin ting. 8 w snFt bo&t to * ce !h rlie g in witho&t so"e $ind o* soci l inter ction to report. 8 $new 8 co&ldnFt lie, tho&gh the tho&ght o* driving to ?ort Angeles nd b c$ lone3being s&re "y odo"eter re*lected the correct "ile ge, J&st in c se he chec$ed3w s very te"pting. 7essic Fs "o" w s the biggest gossip in town, nd !h rlie w s bo&nd to r&n into Mrs. St nley sooner r ther th n l ter. -hen he did, he wo&ld no do&bt "ention the trip. Lying w s o&t. -ith sigh, 8 shoved the door open. Mr. , rner g ve "e d r$ loo$3heFd lre dy st rted the lect&re. 8 h&rried to "y se t. 7essic didnFt loo$ &p s 8 s t next to her. 8 w s gl d th t 8 h d *i*ty "in&tes to "ent lly prep re "ysel*. This cl ss *lew by even * ster th n 0nglish. A s" ll p rt o* th t speed w s d&e to "y goody6 goody prep r tion this "orning in the tr&c$3b&t "ostly it ste""ed *ro" the * ct th t ti"e lw ys sped &p when 8 w s loo$ing *orw rd to so"ething &nple s nt. 8 gri" ced when Mr. , rner dis"issed the cl ss *ive "in&tes e rly. #e s"iled li$e he w s being nice. L7essKL My nose wrin$led s 8 cringed, w iting *or her to t&rn on "e. She twisted in her se t to * ce "e, eyeing "e incred&lo&sly. LAre yo& t l$ing to me, Bell KL LE* co&rse.L 8 widened "y eyes to s&ggest innocence. L-h tK Do yo& need help with ! lc&l&sKL #er tone w s t d so&r.
LNo.L 8 shoo$ "y he d. LAct& lly, 8 w nted to $now i* yo& wo&ldN go to the "ovies with "e tonightK 8 re lly need girlsF night o&t.L The words so&nded sti**, li$e b dly delivered lines, nd she loo$ed s&spicio&s. L-hy re yo& s$ing meKL she s$ed, still &n*riendly. L+o&Fre the *irst person 8 thin$ o* when 8 w nt girl ti"e.L 8 s"iled, nd 8 hoped the s"ile loo$ed gen&ine. 8t w s prob bly tr&e. She w s t le st the *irst person 8 tho&ght o* when 8 w nted to void !h rlie. 8t "o&nted to the s "e thing. She see"ed little "olli*ied. L-ell, 8 donFt $now.L LDo yo& h ve pl nsKL LNoN 8 g&ess 8 c n go with yo&. -h t do yo& w nt to seeKL L8F" not s&re wh tFs pl ying,L 8 hedged. This w s the tric$y p rt. 8 r c$ed "y br in *or cl&e3 h dnFt 8 he rd so"eone t l$ bo&t "ovie recentlyK Seen posterK L#ow bo&t th t one with the *e" le presidentKL She loo$ed t "e oddly. LBell , th t oneFs been o&t o* the the ter forever.L LEh.L 8 *rowned. L8s there nything yo&Fd li$e to seeKL 7essic Fs n t&r l b&bbliness st rted to le $ o&t in spite o* hersel* s she tho&ght o&t lo&d. L-ell, thereFs th t new ro" ntic co"edy th tFs getting gre t reviews. 8 w nt to see th t one. And "y d d J&st s w &ead 1nd nd he re lly li$ed it.L 8 gr sped t the pro"ising title. L-h tFs th t one bo&tKL L@o"bies or so"ething. #e s id it w s the sc riest thing heFd seen in ye rs.L LTh t so&nds per*ect.L 8Fd r ther de l with re l Io"bies th n w tch ro" nce. LE$ y.L She see"ed s&rprised by "y response. 8 tried to re"e"ber i* 8 li$ed sc ry "ovies, b&t 8 w snFt s&re. LDo yo& w nt "e to pic$ yo& &p *ter schoolKL she o**ered. LS&re.L 7essic s"iled t "e with tent tive *riendliness be*ore she le*t. My nswering s"ile w s J&st little l te, b&t 8 tho&ght th t she s w it. The rest o* the d y p ssed H&ic$ly, "y tho&ghts *oc&sed on pl nning *or tonight. 8 $new *ro" experience th t once 8 got 7essic t l$ing, 8 wo&ld be ble to get w y with *ew "&"bled responses t the ppropri te "o"ents. Enly "ini" l inter ction wo&ld be reH&ired. The thic$ h Ie th t bl&rred "y d ys now w s so"eti"es con*&sing. 8 w s s&rprised when 8 *o&nd "ysel* in "y roo", not cle rly re"e"bering the drive ho"e *ro" school or even opening the *ront door. B&t th t didnFt " tter. Losing tr c$ o* ti"e w s the "ost 8 s$ed *ro" li*e.
8 didnFt *ight the h Ie s 8 t&rned to "y closet. The n&"bness w s "ore essenti l in so"e pl ces th n in others. 8 b rely registered wh t 8 w s loo$ing t s 8 slid the door side to reve l the pile o* r&bbish on the le*t side o* "y closet, &nder the clothes 8 never wore. My eyes did not str y tow rd the bl c$ g rb ge b g th t held "y present *ro" th t l st birthd y, did not see the sh pe o* the stereo where it str ined g inst the bl c$ pl sticG 8 didnFt thin$ o* the bloody "ess "y n ils h d been when 8Fd *inished cl wing it o&t o* the d shbo rd. 8 y n$ed the old p&rse 8 r rely &sed o** the n il it h&ng *ro", nd shoved the door sh&t. 7&st then 8 he rd horn hon$ing. 8 swi*tly tr ded "y w llet *ro" "y schoolb g into the p&rse. 8 w s in h&rry, s i* r&shing wo&ld so"ehow " $e the night p ss "ore H&ic$ly. 8 gl nced t "ysel* in the h ll "irror be*ore 8 opened the door, rr nging "y *e t&res c re*&lly into s"ile nd trying to hold the" there. LTh n$s *or co"ing with "e tonight,L 8 told 7ess s 8 cli"bed into the p ssenger se t, trying to in*&se "y tone with gr tit&de. 8t h d been while since 8Fd re lly tho&ght bo&t wh t 8 w s s ying to nyone besides !h rlie. 7ess w s h rder. 8 w snFt s&re which were the right e"otions to * $e. LS&re. So, wh t bro&ght this onKL 7ess wondered s she drove down "y street. LBro&ght wh t onKL L-hy did yo& s&ddenly decideN to go o&tKL 8t so&nded li$e she ch nged her H&estion h l*w y thro&gh. 8 shr&gged. L7&st needed ch nge.L 8 recogniIed the song on the r dio then, nd H&ic$ly re ched *or the di l. LDo yo& "indKL 8 s$ed. LNo, go he d.L 8 sc nned thro&gh the st tions &ntil 8 *o&nd one th t w s h r"less. 8 pee$ed t 7essFs expression s the new "&sic *illed the c r. #er eyes sH&inted. LSince when do yo& listen to r pKL L8 donFt $now,L 8 s id. LA while.L L+o& li$e thisKL she s$ed do&bt*&lly. LS&re.L 8t wo&ld be "&ch too h rd to inter ct with 7essic nor" lly i* 8 h d to wor$ to t&ne o&t the "&sic, too. 8 nodded "y he d, hoping 8 w s in ti"e with the be t. LE$ yNL She st red o&t the windshield with wide eyes. LSo wh tFs &p with yo& nd Mi$e these d ysKL 8 s$ed H&ic$ly.
L+o& see hi" "ore th n 8 do.L The H&estion h dnFt st rted her t l$ing li$e 8Fd hoped it wo&ld. L8tFs h rd to t l$ t wor$,L 8 "&"bled, nd then 8 tried g in. L# ve yo& been o&t with nyone l telyKL LNot re lly. 8 go o&t with !onner so"eti"es. 8 went o&t with 0ric two wee$s go.L She rolled her eyes, nd 8 sensed long story. 8 cl&tched t the opport&nity. L0ric .orkieK -ho s$ed whoKL She gro ned, getting "ore ni" ted. L#e did, o* co&rseM 8 co&ldnFt thin$ o* nice w y to s y no.L L-here did he t $e yo&KL 8 de" nded, $nowing she wo&ld interpret "y e gerness s interest. LTell "e ll bo&t it.L She l &nched into her t le, nd 8 settled into "y se t, "ore co"*ort ble now. 8 p id strict ttention, "&r"&ring in sy"p thy nd g sping in horror s c lled *or. -hen she w s *inished with her 0ric story, she contin&ed into !onner co"p rison witho&t ny prodding. The "ovie w s pl ying e rly, so 7ess tho&ght we sho&ld hit the twilight showing nd e t l ter. 8 w s h ppy to go long with wh tever she w ntedG *ter ll, 8 w s getting wh t 8 w nted3!h rlie o** "y b c$. 8 $ept 7ess t l$ing thro&gh the previews, so 8 co&ld ignore the" "ore e sily. B&t 8 got nervo&s when the "ovie st rted. A yo&ng co&ple w s w l$ing long be ch, swinging h nds nd disc&ssing their "&t& l **ection with gooey * lseness. 8 resisted the &rge to cover "y e rs nd st rt h&""ing. 8 h d not b rg ined *or ro" nce. L8 tho&ght we pic$ed the Io"bie "ovie,L 8 hissed to 7essic . LThis is the Io"bie "ovie.L LThen why isnFt nyone getting e tenKL 8 s$ed desper tely. She loo$ed t "e with wide eyes th t were l"ost l r"ed. L8F" s&re th t p rtFs co"ing,L she whispered. L8F" getting popcorn. Do yo& w nt nyKL LNo, th n$s.L So"eone sh&shed &s *ro" behind. 8 too$ "y ti"e t the concession co&nter, w tching the cloc$ nd deb ting wh t percent ge o* ninety6"in&te "ovie co&ld be spent on ro" ntic exposition. 8 decided ten "in&tes w s "ore th n eno&gh, b&t 8 p &sed J&st inside the the ter doors to be s&re. 8 co&ld he r horri*ied scre "s bl ring *ro" the spe $ers, so 8 $new 8Fd w ited long eno&gh.
L+o& "issed everything,L 7ess "&r"&red when 8 slid b c$ into "y se t. LAl"ost everyone is Io"bie now.L LLong line.L 8 o**ered her so"e popcorn. She too$ h nd*&l. The rest o* the "ovie w s co"prised o* gr&eso"e Io"bie tt c$s nd endless scre "ing *ro" the h nd*&l o* people le*t live, their n&"bers dwindling H&ic$ly. 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght there w s nothing in th t to dist&rb "e. B&t 8 *elt &ne sy, nd 8 w snFt s&re why t *irst. 8t w snFt &ntil l"ost the very end, s 8 w tched h gg rd Io"bie sh "bling *ter the l st shrie$ing s&rvivor, th t 8 re liIed wh t the proble" w s. The scene $ept c&tting between the horri*ied * ce o* the heroine, nd the de d, e"otionless * ce o* her p&rs&er, b c$ nd *orth s it closed the dist nce. And 8 re liIed which one rese"bled "e the "ost. 8 stood &p. L-here re yo& goingK ThereFs, li$e, two "in&tes le*t,L 7ess hissed. L8 need drin$,L 8 "&ttered s 8 r ced *or the exit. 8 s t down on the bench o&tside the the ter door nd tried very h rd not to thin$ o* the irony. B&t it w s ironic, ll things considered, th t, in the end, 8 wo&ld wind &p s 6ombie. 8 h dnFt seen th t one co"ing. Not th t 8 h dnFt dre "ed o* beco"ing "ythic l "onster once3J&st never grotesH&e, ni" ted corpse. 8 shoo$ "y he d to dislodge th t tr in o* tho&ght, *eeling p nic$y. 8 co&ldnFt **ord to thin$ bo&t wh t 8Fd once dre "ed o*. 8t w s depressing to re liIe th t 8 w snFt the heroine ny"ore, th t "y story w s over. 7essic c "e o&t o* the the ter doors nd hesit ted, prob bly wondering where the best pl ce w s to se rch *or "e. -hen she s w "e, she loo$ed relieved, b&t only *or "o"ent. Then she loo$ed irrit ted. L- s the "ovie too sc ry *or yo&KL she wondered. L+e h,L 8 greed. L8 g&ess 8F" J&st cow rd.L LTh tFs *&nny.L She *rowned. L8 didnFt thin$ yo& ere sc red38 w s scre "ing ll the ti"e, b&t 8 didnFt he r yo& scre " once. So 8 didnFt $now why yo& le*t.L 8 shr&gged. L7&st sc red.L She rel xed little. LTh t w s the sc riest "ovie 8 thin$ 8Fve ever seen. 8Fll bet weFre going to h ve night" res tonight.L LNo do&bt bo&t th t,L 8 s id, trying to $eep "y voice nor" l. 8t w s inevit ble th t 8 wo&ld h ve night" res, b&t they wo&ldnFt be bo&t Io"bies. #er eyes *l shed to "y * ce nd w y. M ybe 8 h dnFt s&cceeded with the nor" l voice.
L-here do yo& w nt to e tKL 7ess s$ed. L8 donFt c re.L LE$ y.L 7ess st rted t l$ing bo&t the " le le d in the "ovie s we w l$ed. 8 nodded s she g&shed over his hotness, &n ble to re"e"ber seeing non6Io"bie " n t ll. 8 didnFt w tch where 7essic w s le ding "e. 8 w s only v g&ely w re th t it w s d r$ nd H&ieter now. 8t too$ "e longer th n it sho&ld h ve to re liIe why it w s H&iet. 7essic h d stopped b bbling. 8 loo$ed t her pologetic lly, hoping 8 h dnFt h&rt her *eelings. 7essic w snFt loo$ing t "e. #er * ce w s tenseG she st red str ight he d nd w l$ed * st. As 8 w tched, her eyes d rted H&ic$ly to the right, cross the ro d, nd b c$ g in. 8 gl nced ro&nd "ysel* *or the *irst ti"e. -e were on short stretch o* &nlit sidew l$. The little shops lining the street were ll loc$ed &p *or the night, windows bl c$. # l* bloc$ he d, the streetlights st rted &p g in, nd 8 co&ld see, * rther down, the bright golden rches o* the McDon ldFs she w s he ding *or. Across the street there w s one open b&siness. The windows were covered *ro" inside nd there were neon signs, dvertise"ents *or di**erent br nds o* beer, glowing in *ront o* the". The biggest sign, in brilli nt green, w s the n "e o* the b r3Ene60yed ?eteFs. 8 wondered i* there w s so"e pir te the"e not visible *ro" o&tside. The "et l door w s propped openG it w s di"ly lit inside, nd the low "&r"&r o* " ny voices nd the so&nd o* ice clin$ing in gl sses *lo ted cross the street. Lo&nging g inst the w ll beside the door were *o&r "en. 8 gl nced b c$ t 7essic . #er eyes were *ixed on the p th he d nd she "oved bris$ly. She didnFt loo$ *rightened3J&st w ry, trying to not ttr ct ttention to hersel*. 8 p &sed witho&t thin$ing, loo$ing b c$ t the *o&r "en with strong sense o* dQJR v&. This w s di**erent ro d, di**erent night, b&t the scene w s so "&ch the s "e. Ene o* the" w s even short nd d r$. As 8 stopped nd t&rned tow rd the", th t one loo$ed &p in interest. 8 st red b c$ t hi", *roIen on the sidew l$. LBell KL 7ess whispered. L-h t re yo& doingKL 8 shoo$ "y he d, not s&re "ysel*. L8 thin$ 8 $now the"NL 8 "&ttered. -h t w s 8 doingK 8 sho&ld be r&nning *ro" this "e"ory s * st s 8 co&ld, bloc$ing the i" ge o* the *o&r lo&nging "en *ro" "y "ind, protecting "ysel* with the n&"bness 8 co&ldnFt *&nction witho&t. -hy w s 8 stepping, d Ied, into the streetK 8t see"ed too coincident l th t 8 sho&ld be in ?ort Angeles with 7essic , on d r$ street even. My eyes *oc&sed on the short one, trying to " tch the *e t&res to "y "e"ory o* the " n who h d thre tened "e th t night l"ost ye r go. 8 wondered i* there w s ny w y 8 wo&ld recogniIe the " n, i* it w s re lly hi". Th t p rtic&l r p rt o* th t p rtic&l r evening w s J&st bl&r. My body re"e"bered it better th n "y "ind didG the tension in "y legs s 8 tried to decide whether to r&n or to st nd "y gro&nd, the dryness in "y thro t s 8 str&ggled to b&ild decent
scre ", the tight stretch o* s$in cross "y $n&c$les s 8 clenched "y h nds into *ists, the chills on the b c$ o* "y nec$ when the d r$6h ired " n c lled "e Ls&g r.LN There w s n inde*inite, i"plied $ind o* "en ce to these "en th t h d nothing to do with th t other night. 8t spr&ng *ro" the * ct th t they were str ngers, nd it w s d r$ here, nd they o&tn&"bered &s3nothing "ore speci*ic th n th t. B&t it w s eno&gh th t 7essic Fs voice cr c$ed in p nic s she c lled *ter "e. LBell , co"e onML 8 ignored her, w l$ing slowly *orw rd witho&t ever " $ing the conscio&s decision to "ove "y *eet. 8 didnFt &nderst nd why, b&t the neb&lo&s thre t the "en presented drew "e tow rd the". 8t w s senseless i"p&lse, b&t 8 h dnFt *elt any $ind o* i"p&lse in so longN 8 *ollowed it. So"ething &n* "ili r be t thro&gh "y veins. Adren line, 8 re liIed, long bsent *ro" "y syste", dr&""ing "y p&lse * ster nd *ighting g inst the l c$ o* sens tion. 8t w s str nge3 why the dren line when there w s no *e rK 8t w s l"ost s i* it were n echo o* the l st ti"e 8Fd stood li$e this, on d r$ street in ?ort Angeles with str ngers. 8 s w no re son *or *e r. 8 co&ldnFt i" gine nything in the world th t there w s le*t to be *r id o*, not physic lly t le st. Ene o* the *ew dv nt ges o* losing everything. 8 w s h l*w y cross the street when 7ess c &ght &p to "e nd gr bbed "y r". LBell M +o& c nFt go in b rML she hissed. L8F" not going in,L 8 s id bsently, sh $ing her h nd o**. L8 J&st w nt to see so"ethingNL LAre yo& cr IyKL she whispered. LAre yo& s&icid lKL Th t H&estion c &ght "y ttention, nd "y eyes *oc&sed on her. LNo, 8F" not.L My voice so&nded de*ensive, b&t it w s tr&e. 8 w snFt s&icid l. 0ven in the beginning, when de th &nH&estion bly wo&ld h ve been relie*, 8 didnFt consider it. 8 owed too "&ch to !h rlie. 8 *elt too responsible *or Benee. 8 h d to thin$ o* the". And 8Fd " de pro"ise not to do nything st&pid or rec$less. /or ll those re sons, 8 w s still bre thing. Be"e"bering th t pro"ise. 8 *elt twinge o* g&ilt. b&t wh t 8 w s doing *ight now didnFt re lly co&nt. 8t w snFt li$e 8 w s t $ing bl de to "y wrists. 7essFs eyes were ro&nd, her "o&th h&ng open. #er H&estion bo&t s&icide h d been rhetoric l, 8 re liIed too l te. L%o e t,L 8 enco&r ged her, w ving tow rd the * st *ood. 8 didnFt li$e the w y she loo$ed t "e. L8Fll c tch &p in "in&te.L 8 t&rned w y *ro" her, b c$ to the "en who were w tching &s with "&sed, c&rio&s eyes.
LBell , stop this right nowML My "&scles loc$ed into pl ce, *roIe "e where 8 stood. Bec &se it w snFt 7essic Fs voice th t reb&$ed "e now. 8t w s *&rio&s voice, * "ili r voice, be &ti*&l voice3so*t li$e velvet even tho&gh it w s ir te. 8t w s his voice38 w s exception lly c re*&l not to thin$ his n "e3 nd 8 w s s&rprised th t the so&nd o* it did not $noc$ "e to "y $nees, did not c&rl "e onto the p ve"ent in tort&re o* loss. B&t there w s no p in, none t ll. 8n the inst nt th t 8 he rd his voice, everything w s very cle r. Li$e "y he d h d s&ddenly s&r* ced o&t o* so"e d r$ pool. 8 w s "ore w re o* everything3sight, so&nd, the *eel o* the cold ir th t 8 h dnFt noticed w s blowing sh rply g inst "y * ce, the s"ells co"ing *ro" the open b r door. 8 loo$ed ro&nd "ysel* in shoc$. L%o b c$ to 7essic ,L the lovely voice ordered, still ngry. L+o& pro"ised3nothing st&pid.L 8 w s lone. 7essic stood *ew *eet *ro" "e, st ring t "e with *rightened eyes. Ag inst the w ll, the str ngers w tched, con*&sed, wondering wh t 8 w s doing, st nding there "otionless in the "iddle o* the street. 8 shoo$ "y he d, trying to &nderst nd. 8 $new he w snFt there, nd yet, he *elt i"prob bly close, close *or the *irst ti"e sinceN since the end. The nger in his voice w s concern, the s "e nger th t w s once very * "ili r3so"ething 8 h dnFt he rd in wh t *elt li$e li*eti"e. LCeep yo&r pro"ise.L The voice w s slipping w y, s i* the vol&"e w s being t&rned down on r dio. 8 beg n to s&spect th t 8 w s h ving so"e $ind o* h ll&cin tion. Triggered, no do&bt, by the "e"ory3the deJ v&, the str nge * "ili rity o* the sit& tion. 8 r n thro&gh the possibilities H&ic$ly in "y he d. Eption oneO 8 w s cr Iy. Th t w s the l y" nFs ter" *or people who he rd voices in their he ds. ?ossible. Eption twoO My s&bconscio&s "ind w s giving "e wh t it tho&ght 8 w nted. This w s wish *&l*ill"ent3 "o"ent ry relie* *ro" p in by e"br cing the incorrect ide th t he c red whether 8 lived or died. ?roJecting wh t he wo&ld h ve s id i* A5 he were here, nd B5 he wo&ld be in ny w y bothered by so"ething b d h ppening to "e. ?rob ble. 8 co&ld see no option three, so 8 hoped it w s the second option nd this w s J&st "y s&bconscio&s r&nning "&c$, r ther th n so"ething 8 wo&ld need to be hospit liIed *or. My re ction w s h rdly s ne, tho&gh38 w s grateful. The so&nd o* his voice w s so"ething th t 8Fd *e red 8 w s losing, nd so, "ore th n nything else, 8 *elt overwhel"ing gr tit&de th t "y &nconscio&s "ind h d held onto th t so&nd better th n "y conscio&s one h d.
8 w s not llowed to thin$ o* hi". Th t w s so"ething 8 tried to be very strict bo&t. E* co&rse 8 slippedG 8 w s only h&" n. B&t 8 w s getting better, nd so the p in w s so"ething 8 co&ld void *or d ys t ti"e now. The tr deo** w s the never6ending n&"bness. Between p in nd nothing, 8Fd chosen nothing. 8 w ited *or the p in now. 8 w s not n&"b3"y senses *elt &n&s& lly intense *ter so " ny "onths o* the h Ie3b&t the nor" l p in held o**. The only che w s the dis ppoint"ent th t his voice w s * ding. There w s second o* choice. The wise thing wo&ld be to r&n w y *ro" this potenti lly destr&ctive3 nd cert inly "ent lly &nst ble3develop"ent. 8t wo&ld be st&pid to enco&r ge h ll&cin tions. B&t his voice w s * ding. 8 too$ nother step *orw rd, testing. LBell , t&rn ro&nd,L he growled. 8 sighed in relie*. The nger w s wh t 8 w nted to he r3* lse, * bric ted evidence th t he c red, d&bio&s gi*t *ro" "y s&bconscio&s. ,ery *ew seconds h d p ssed while 8 sorted this ll o&t. My little &dience w tched, c&rio&s. 8t prob bly loo$ed li$e 8 w s J&st dithering over whether or not 8 w s going to ppro ch the". #ow co&ld they g&ess th t 8 w s st nding there enJoying n &nexpected "o"ent o* ins nityK L#i,L one o* the "en c lled, his tone both con*ident nd bit s rc stic. #e w s * ir6s$inned nd * ir6h ired, nd he stood with the ss&r nce o* so"eone who tho&ght o* hi"sel* s H&ite good6 loo$ing. 8 co&ldnFt tell whether he w s or not. 8 w s preJ&diced. The voice in "y he d nswered with n exH&isite sn rl. 8 s"iled, nd the con*ident " n see"ed to t $e th t s enco&r ge"ent. L! n 8 help yo& with so"ethingK +o& loo$ lost.L #e grinned nd win$ed. 8 stepped c re*&lly over the g&tter, r&nning with w ter th t w s bl c$ in the d r$ness. LNo. 8F" not lost.L Now th t 8 w s closer3 nd "y eyes *elt oddly in *oc&s38 n lyIed the short, d r$ " nFs * ce. 8t w s not * "ili r in ny w y. 8 s&**ered c&rio&s sens tion o* dis ppoint"ent th t this w s not the terrible " n who h d tried to h&rt "e l"ost ye r go. The voice in "y he d w s H&iet now. The short " n noticed "y st re. L! n 8 b&y yo& drin$KL he o**ered, nervo&s, see"ing *l ttered th t 8Fd singled hi" o&t to st re t. L8F" too yo&ng,L 8 nswered &to" tic lly. #e w s b **led3wondering why 8 h d ppro ched the". 8 *elt co"pelled to expl in.
L/ro" cross the street, yo& loo$ed li$e so"eone 8 $new. Sorry, "y "ist $e.L The thre t th t h d p&lled "e cross the street h d ev por ted. These were not the d ngero&s "en 8 re"e"bered. They were prob bly nice g&ys. S *e. 8 lost interest. LTh tFs o$ y,L the con*ident blonde s id. LSt y nd h ng o&t with &s.L LTh n$s, b&t 8 c nFt.L 7essic w s hesit ting in the "iddle o* the street, her eyes wide with o&tr ge nd betr y l. LEh, J&st *ew "in&tes.L 8 shoo$ "y he d, nd t&rned to reJoin 7essic . LLetFs go e t,L 8 s&ggested, b rely gl ncing t her. Tho&gh 8 ppe red to be, *or the "o"ent, *reed o* the Io"bie bstr ction, 8 w s J&st s dist nt. My "ind w s preocc&pied. The s *e, n&"b de dness did not co"e b c$, nd 8 got "ore nxio&s with every "in&te th t p ssed witho&t its ret&rn. L-h t were yo& thin$ingKL 7essic sn pped. L+o& donFt $now the"3they co&ld h ve been psychop thsML 8 shr&gged, wishing she wo&ld let it go. L8 J&st tho&ght 8 $new the one g&y.L L+o& re so odd, Bell Sw n. 8 *eel li$e 8 donFt $now who yo& re.L LSorry.L 8 didnFt $now wh t else to s y to th t. -e w l$ed to McDon ldFs in silence. 8Fd bet th t she w s wishing weFd t $en her c r inste d o* w l$ing the short dist nce *ro" the the ter, so th t she co&ld &se the drive6thro&gh. She w s J&st s nxio&s now *or this evening to be over s 8 h d been *ro" the beginning. 8 tried to st rt convers tion *ew ti"es while we te, b&t 7essic w s not cooper tive. 8 "&st h ve re lly o**ended her. -hen we go b c$ in the c r, she t&ned the stereo b c$ to her * vorite st tion nd t&rned the vol&"e too lo&d to llow e sy convers tion. 8 didnFt h ve to str&ggle s h rd s &s& l to ignore the "&sic. 0ven tho&gh "y "ind, *or once, w s not c re*&lly n&"b nd e"pty, 8 h d too "&ch to thin$ bo&t to he r the lyrics. 8 w ited *or the n&"bness to ret&rn, or the p in. Bec &se the p in "&st be co"ing. 8Fd bro$en "y person l r&les. 8nste d o* shying w y *ro" the "e"ories, 8Fd w l$ed *orw rd nd greeted the". 8Fd he rd his voice, so cle rly, in "y he d. Th t w s going to cost "e, 8 w s s&re o* it. 0speci lly i* 8 co&ldnFt recl i" the h Ie to protect "ysel*. 8 *elt too lert, nd th t *rightened "e. B&t relie* w s still the strongest e"otion in "y body3relie* th t c "e *ro" the very core o* "y being. As "&ch s 8 str&ggled not to thin$ o* hi", 8 did not str&ggle to forget. 8 worried3l te in the night, when the exh &stion o* sleep depriv tion bro$e down "y de*enses3th t it as ll slipping w y. Th t "y "ind w s sieve, nd 8 wo&ld so"ed y not be ble to re"e"ber the
precise color o* his eyes, the *eel o* his cool s$in, or the text&re o* his voice. 8 co&ld not think o* the", b&t 8 "&st remember the". Bec &se there w s J&st one thing th t 8 h d to believe to be ble to live38 h d to $now th t he existed. Th t w s ll. 0verything else 8 co&ld end&re. So long s he existed. Th tFs why 8 w s "ore tr pped in /or$s th n 8 ever h d been be*ore, why 8Fd *o&ght with !h rlie when he s&ggested ch nge. #onestly, it sho&ldnFt " tterG no one w s ever co"ing b c$ here. B&t i* 8 were to go to 7 c$sonville, or nywhere else bright nd &n* "ili r, how co&ld 8 be s&re he w s re lK 8n pl ce where 8 co&ld never i" gine hi", the conviction "ight * deN nd th t 8 co&ld not live thro&gh. /orbidden to re"e"ber, terri*ied to *orgetG it w s h rd line to w l$. 8 w s s&rprised when 7essic stopped the c r in *ront o* "y ho&se. The ride h d not t $en long, b&t, short s it see"ed, 8 wo&ldnFt h ve tho&ght th t 7essic co&ld go th t long witho&t spe $ing. LTh n$s *or going o&t with "e, 7ess,L 8 s id s 8 opened "y door. LTh t w sN*&n.L 8 hoped th t fun w s the ppropri te word. LS&re,L she "&ttered. L8F" sorry bo&tN *ter the "ovie.L L-h tever, Bell .L She gl red o&t the windshield inste d o* loo$ing t "e. She see"ed to be growing ngrier r ther th n getting over it. LSee yo& Mond yKL L+e h. Bye.L 8 g ve &p nd sh&t the door. She drove w y, still witho&t loo$ing t "e. 8Fd *orgotten her by the ti"e 8 w s inside. !h rlie w s w iting *or "e in the "iddle o* the h ll, his r"s *olded tight over his chest with his h nds b lled into *ists. L#ey, D d,L 8 s id bsent"indedly s 8 d&c$ed ro&nd !h rlie, he ding *or the st irs. 8Fd been thin$ing bo&t him *or too long, nd 8 w nted to be &pst irs be*ore it c &ght &p with "e. L-here h ve yo& beenKL !h rlie de" nded. 8 loo$ed t "y d d, s&rprised. L8 went to "ovie in ?ort Angeles with 7essic . Li$e 8 told yo& this "orning.L L#&"ph,L he gr&nted. L8s th t o$ yKL
#e st&died "y * ce, his eyes widening s i* he s w so"ething &nexpected. L+e h, th tFs *ine. Did yo& h ve *&nKL LS&re,L 8 s id. L-e w tched Io"bies e t people. 8t w s gre t.L #is eyes n rrowed. LFNight, D d.L #e let "e p ss. 8 h&rried to "y roo". 8 l y in "y bed *ew "in&tes l ter, resigned s the p in *in lly " de its ppe r nce. 8t w s crippling thing, this sens tion th t h&ge hole h d been p&nched thro&gh "y chest, excising "y "ost vit l org ns nd le ving r gged, &nhe led g shes ro&nd the edges th t contin&ed to throb nd bleed despite the p ss ge o* ti"e. B tion lly, 8 $new "y l&ngs "&st still be int ct, yet 8 g sped *or ir nd "y he d sp&n li$e "y e**orts yielded "e nothing. My he rt "&st h ve been be ting, too, b&t 8 co&ldnFt he r the so&nd o* "y p&lse in "y e rsG "y h nds *elt bl&e with cold. 8 c&rled inw rd, h&gging "y ribs to hold "ysel* together. 8 scr "bled *or "y n&"bness, "y deni l, b&t it ev ded "e. And yet, 8 *o&nd 8 co&ld s&rvive. 8 w s lert, 8 *elt the p in3the ching loss th t r di ted o&t *ro" "y chest, sending wr c$ing w ves o* h&rt thro&gh "y li"bs nd he d3b&t it w s " n ge ble. 8 co&ld live thro&gh it. 8t didnFt *eel li$e the p in h d we $ened over ti"e, r ther th t 8Fd grown strong eno&gh to be r it. -h tever it w s th t h d h ppened tonight3 nd whether it w s the Io"bies, the dren line, or the h ll&cin tions th t were responsible3it h d wo$en "e &p. /or the *irst ti"e in long ti"e, 8 didnFt $now wh t to expect in the "orning.
5. CHEATER
LB0LLA, -#+ DENFT +E' TAC0 E//,L M8C0 S'%%0ST0D, his eyes *oc&sed o** to the side, not re lly loo$ing t "e. 8 wondered how long th t h d been going on witho&t "e noticing. 8t w s slow *ternoon t NewtonFs. At the "o"ent there were only two p trons in the store, dedic ted b c$p c$ers *ro" the so&nd o* their convers tion. Mi$e h d spent the l st ho&r going thro&gh the pros nd cons o* two br nds o* lightweight p c$s with the". B&t theyFd t $en bre $ *ro" serio&s pricing to ind&lge in trying to one6&p e ch other with their l test t les *ro" the tr il. Their distr ction h d given Mi$e ch nce to esc pe. L8 donFt "ind st ying,L 8 s id. 8 still h dnFt been ble to sin$ b c$ into "y protective shell o* n&"bness, nd everything see"ed oddly close nd lo&d tod y, li$e 8Fd t $en cotton o&t o* "y e rs. 8 tried to t&ne o&t the l &ghing hi$ers witho&t s&ccess. L8F" telling yo&,L s id the thic$set " n with the or nge be rd th t didnFt " tch his d r$ brown h ir. L8Fve seen griIIlies pretty close &p in +ellowstone, b&t they h d nothing on this br&te.L #is
h ir w s " tted, nd his clothes loo$ed li$e theyFd been on his b c$ *or "ore th n *ew d ys. /resh *ro" the "o&nt ins. LNot ch nce. Bl c$ be rs donFt get th t big. The griIIlies yo& s w were prob bly c&bs.L The second " n w s t ll nd le n, his * ce t nned nd wind6whipped into n i"pressive le thery cr&st. LSerio&sly, Bell , s soon s these two give &p, 8F" closing the pl ce down,L Mi$e "&r"&red. L8* yo& w nt "e to goNL 8 shr&gged. LEn ll *o&rs it w s t ller th n yo&,L the be rded " n insisted while 8 g thered "y things together. LBig s ho&se nd pitch6bl c$. 8F" going to report it to the r nger here. ?eople o&ght to be w rned3this w snFt &p on the "o&nt in, "ind yo&3this w s only *ew "iles *ro" the tr ilhe d.L Le ther6* ce l &ghed nd rolled his eyes. LLet "e g&ess3yo& were on yo&r w y inK # dnFt e ten re l *ood or slept o** the gro&nd in wee$, rightKL L#ey, &h, Mi$e, rightKL the be rded " n c lled, loo$ing tow rd &s. LSee yo& Mond y,L 8 "&"bled. L+es, sir,L Mi$e replied, t&rning w y. LS y, h ve there been ny w rnings ro&nd here recently3 bo&t bl c$ be rsKL LNo, sir. B&t itFs lw ys good to $eep yo&r dist nce nd store yo&r *ood correctly. # ve yo& seen the new be r6s *e c nistersK They only weigh two po&ndsNL The doors slid open to let "e o&t into the r in. 8 h&nched over inside "y J c$et s 8 d shed *or "y tr&c$. The r in h ""ering g inst "y hood so&nded &n&s& lly lo&d, too, b&t soon the ro r o* the engine drowned o&t everything else. 8 didnFt w nt to go b c$ to !h rlieFs e"pty ho&se. L st night h d been p rtic&l rly br&t l, nd 8 h d no desire to revisit the scene o* the s&**ering. 0ven *ter the p in h d s&bsided eno&gh *or "e to sleep, it w snFt over. Li$e 8Fd told 7essic *ter the "ovie, there w s never ny do&bt th t 8 wo&ld h ve night" res. 8 lw ys h d night" res now, every night. Not night" res re lly, not in the pl&r l, bec &se it w s lw ys the same night" re. +o&Fd thin$ 8Fd get bored *ter so " ny "onths, grow i""&ne to it. B&t the dre " never * iled to horri*y "e, nd only ended when 8 wo$e "ysel* with scre "ing. !h rlie didnFt co"e in to see wh t w s wrong ny"ore, to " $e s&re there w s no intr&der str ngling "e or so"ething li$e th t3he w s &sed to it now. My night" re prob bly wo&ldnFt even *righten so"eone else. Nothing J&"ped o&t nd scre "ed, LBooML There were no Io"bies, no ghosts, no psychop ths. There w s nothing, re lly. Enly nothing. 7&st the endless " Ie o* "oss6covered trees, so H&iet th t the silence w s n &nco"*ort ble press&re g inst "y e rdr&"s. 8t w s d r$, li$e d&s$ on clo&dy d y, with only eno&gh light to see th t there w s nothing to see. 8 h&rried thro&gh the gloo" witho&t p th, lw ys se rching, se rching, se rching, getting "ore *r ntic s the ti"e stretched on, trying to "ove * ster, tho&gh the speed " de "e cl&"syN Then there wo&ld co"e the point in "y dre "
3 nd 8 co&ld *eel it co"ing now, b&t co&ld never see" to w $e "ysel* &p be*ore it hit3when 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber wh t it w s th t 8 w s se rching *or. -hen 8 re liIed th t there as nothing to se rch *or, nd nothing to *ind. Th t there never h d been nything "ore th n J&st this e"pty, dre ry wood, nd there never wo&ld be nything "ore *or "eN nothing b&t nothingN Th t w s &s& lly bo&t when the scre "ing st rted. 8 w snFt p ying ttention to where 8 w s driving3J&st w ndering thro&gh e"pty, wet side ro ds s 8 voided the w ys th t wo&ld t $e "e ho"e3bec &se 8 didnFt h ve nywhere to go. 8 wished 8 co&ld *eel n&"b g in, b&t 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber how 8Fd " n ged it be*ore. The night" re w s n gging t "y "ind nd " $ing "e thin$ bo&t things th t wo&ld c &se "e p in. 8 didnFt w nt to re"e"ber the *orest. 0ven s 8 sh&ddered w y *ro" the i" ges, 8 *elt "y eyes *ill with te rs nd the ching begin ro&nd the edges o* the hole in "y chest. 8 too$ one h nd *ro" the steering wheel nd wr pped it ro&nd "y torso to hold it in one piece. It ill be as if I$d never e5isted. The words r n thro&gh "y he d, l c$ing the per*ect cl rity o* "y h ll&cin tion l st night. They were J&st words, so&ndless, li$e print on p ge. 7&st words, b&t they ripped the hole wide open, nd 8 sto"ped on the br $e, $nowing 8 sho&ld not drive while this inc p cit ted. 8 c&rled over, pressing "y * ce g inst the steering wheel nd trying to bre the witho&t l&ngs. 8 wondered how long this co&ld l st. M ybe so"ed y, ye rs *ro" now3i* the p in wo&ld J&st decre se to the point where 8 co&ld be r it38 wo&ld be ble to loo$ b c$ on those *ew short "onths th t wo&ld lw ys be the best o* "y li*e. And, i* it were possible th t the p in wo&ld ever so*ten eno&gh to llow "e to do th t, 8 w s s&re th t 8 wo&ld *eel gr te*&l *or s "&ch ti"e s heFd given "e. More th n 8Fd s$ed *or, "ore th n 8Fd deserved. M ybe so"ed y 8Fd be ble to see it th t w y. B&t wh t i* this hole never got ny betterK 8* the r w edges never he ledK 8* the d " ge w s per" nent nd irreversibleK 8 held "ysel* tightly together. As if he$d never e5isted, 8 tho&ght in desp ir. -h t st&pid nd i"possible pro"ise to " $eM #e co&ld ste l "y pict&res nd recl i" his gi*ts, b&t th t didnFt p&t things b c$ the w y theyFd been be*ore 8Fd "et hi". The physic l evidence w s the "ost insigni*ic nt p rt o* the eH& tion. I w s ch nged, "y insides ltered l"ost p st the point o* recognition. 0ven "y o&tsides loo$ed di**erent3"y * ce s llow, white except *or the p&rple circles the night" res h d le*t &nder "y eyes. My eyes were d r$ eno&gh g inst "y p llid s$in th t3i* 8 were be &ti*&l, nd seen *ro" dist nce38 "ight even p ss *or v "pire now. B&t 8 w s not be &ti*&l, nd 8 prob bly loo$ed closer to Io"bie. As i* heFd never existedK Th t w s ins nity. 8t w s pro"ise th t he co&ld never $eep, pro"ise th t w s bro$en s soon s heFd " de it. 8 th&"ped "y he d g inst the steering wheel, trying to distr ct "ysel* *ro" the sh rper p in. 8t " de "e *eel silly *or ever worrying bo&t $eeping my pro"ise. -here w s the logic in stic$ing to n gree"ent th t h d lre dy been viol ted by the other p rtyK -ho c red i* 8 w s rec$less nd st&pidK There w s no re son to void rec$lessness, no re son why 8 sho&ldnFt get to be st&pid.
8 l &ghed h&"orlessly to "ysel*, still g sping *or ir. Bec$less in /or$s3now there w s hopeless proposition. The d r$ h&"or distr cted "e, nd the distr ction e sed the p in. My bre th c "e e sier, nd 8 w s ble to le n b c$ g inst the se t. Tho&gh it w s cold tod y, "y *orehe d w s d "p with swe t. 8 concentr ted on "y hopeless proposition to $eep *ro" sliding b c$ into the excr&ci ting "e"ories. To be rec$less in /or$s wo&ld t $e lot o* cre tivity3" ybe "ore th n 8 h d. B&t 8 wished 8 co&ld *ind so"e w yN 8 "ight *eel better i* 8 werenFt holding * st, ll lone, to bro$en p ct. 8* 8 were n o th6bre $er, too. B&t how co&ld 8 che t on "y side o* the de l, here in this h r"less little townK E* co&rse, /or$s h dnFt al ays been so h r"less, b&t now it w s ex ctly wh t it h d lw ys ppe red to be. 8t w s d&ll, it w s s *e. 8 st red o&t the windshield *or long "o"ent, "y tho&ghts "oving sl&ggishly38 co&ldnFt see" to " $e those tho&ghts go nywhere. 8 c&t the engine, which w s gro ning in piti*&l w y *ter idling *or so long, nd stepped o&t into the driIIle. The cold r in dripped thro&gh "y h ir nd then tric$led cross "y chee$s li$e *reshw ter te rs. 8t helped to cle r "y he d. 8 blin$ed the w ter *ro" "y eyes, st ring bl n$ly cross the ro d. A*ter "in&te o* st ring, 8 recogniIed where 8 w s. 8Fd p r$ed in the "iddle o* the north l ne o* B&ssell Aven&e. 8 w s st nding in *ront o* the !heneysF ho&se3"y tr&c$ w s bloc$ing their drivew y3 nd cross the ro d lived the M r$ses. 8 $new 8 needed to "ove "y tr&c$, nd th t 8 o&ght to go ho"e. 8t w s wrong to w nder the w y 8 h d, distr cted nd i"p ired, "en ce on the ro ds o* /or$s. Besides, so"eone wo&ld notice "e soon eno&gh, nd report "e to !h rlie. As 8 too$ deep bre th in prep r tion to "ove, sign in the M r$sesF y rd c &ght "y eye3it w s J&st big piece o* c rdbo rd le ning g inst their " ilbox post, with bl c$ letters scr wled in c ps cross it. So"eti"es, $is"et h ppens. !oincidenceK Er w s it "e nt to beK 8 didnFt $now, b&t it see"ed $ind o* silly to thin$ th t it w s so"ehow * ted, th t the dil pid ted "otorcycles r&sting in the M r$sesF *ront y rd beside the h nd6printed /EB SAL0, AS 8S sign were serving so"e higher p&rpose by existing there, right where 8 needed the" to be. So " ybe it w snFt $is"et. M ybe there were J&st ll $inds o* w ys to be rec$less, nd 8 only now h d "y eyes open to the". Bec$less nd st&pid. Those were !h rlieFs two very * vorite words to pply to "otorcycles. !h rlieFs Job didnFt get lot o* ction co"p red to cops in bigger towns, b&t he did get c lled in on tr **ic ccidents. -ith the long, wet stretches o* *reew y twisting nd t&rning thro&gh the *orest, blind corner *ter blind corner, there w s no short ge o* that $ind o* ction. B&t even with ll the h&ge log6h &lers b rreling ro&nd the t&rns, "ostly people w l$ed w y. The exceptions to th t r&le were o*ten on "otorcycles, nd !h rlie h d seen one too " ny victi"s, l"ost lw ys $ids, s"e red on the highw y. #eFd " de "e pro"ise be*ore 8 w s ten th t 8 wo&ld never ccept ride on "otorcycle. 0ven t th t ge, 8 didnFt h ve to thin$ twice be*ore pro"ising. -ho wo&ld w nt to ride "otorcycle hereK 8t wo&ld be li$e t $ing sixty6"ile6per6ho&r b th.
So " ny pro"ises 8 $eptN 8t clic$ed together *or "e then. 8 w nted to be st&pid nd rec$less, nd 8 w nted to bre $ pro"ises. -hy stop t oneK Th tFs s * r s 8 tho&ght it thro&gh. 8 sloshed thro&gh the r in to the M r$sesF *ront door nd r ng the bell. Ene o* the M r$s boys opened the door, the yo&nger one, the *resh" n. 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber his n "e. #is s ndy h ir only c "e &p to "y sho&lder. #e h d no tro&ble re"e"bering "y n "e. LBell Sw nKL he s$ed in s&rprise. L#ow "&ch do yo& w nt *or the bi$eKL 8 p nted, Jer$ing "y th&"b over "y sho&lder tow rd the s les displ y. LAre yo& serio&sKL he de" nded. LE* co&rse 8 ".L LThey donFt wor$.L 8 sighed i"p tiently3this w s so"ething 8Fd lre dy in*erred *ro" the sign. L#ow "&chKL L8* yo& re lly w nt one, J&st t $e it. My "o" " de "y d d "ove the" down to the ro d so theyFd get pic$ed &p with the g rb ge.L 8 gl nced t the bi$es g in nd s w th t they were resting on pile o* y rd clippings nd de d br nches. LAre yo& positive bo&t th tKL LS&re, yo& w nt to s$ herKL 8t w s prob bly better not to involve d&lts who "ight "ention this to !h rlie. LNo, 8 believe yo&.L L+o& w nt "e to help yo&KL he o**ered. LTheyFre not light.L LE$ y, th n$s. 8 only need one, tho&gh.L LMight s well t $e both,L the boy s id. LM ybe yo& co&ld sc venge so"e p rts.L #e *ollowed "e o&t into the downpo&r nd helped "e lo d both o* the he vy bi$es into the b c$ o* "y tr&c$. #e see"ed e ger to be rid o* the", so 8 didnFt rg&e. L-h t re yo& going to do with the", nyw yKL he s$ed. LThey h venFt wor$ed in ye rs.L L8 $ind o* g&essed th t,L 8 s id, shr&gging. My sp&r6o*6the6"o"ent whi" h dnFt co"e with pl n int ct. LM ybe 8Fll t $e the" to DowlingFs.L #e snorted. LDowling wo&ld ch rge "ore to *ix the" th n theyFd be worth r&nning.L
8 co&ldnFt rg&e with th t. 7ohn Dowling h d e rned rep&t tion *or his pricingG no one went to hi" except in n e"ergency. Most people pre*erred to " $e the drive &p to ?ort Angeles, i* their c r w s ble. 8Fd been very l&c$y on th t *ront38Fd been worried, when !h rlie *irst gi*ted "e "y ncient tr&c$, th t 8 wo&ldnFt be ble to **ord to $eep it r&nning. B&t 8Fd never h d single proble" with it, other th n the scre "ing6lo&d engine nd the *i*ty6*ive6"ile6per6ho&r " xi"&" speed li"it. 7 cob Bl c$ h d $ept it in gre t sh pe when it h d belonged to his * ther, BillyN 8nspir tion hit li$e bolt o* lightning3not &nre son ble, considering the stor". L+o& $now wh tK Th tFs o$ y. 8 $now so"eone who b&ilds c rs.L LEh. Th tFs good.L #e s"iled in relie*. #e w ved s 8 p&lled w y, still s"iling. /riendly $id. 8 drove H&ic$ly nd p&rpose*&lly now, in h&rry to get ho"e be*ore there w s the slightest ch nce o* !h rlie ppe ring, even in the highly &nli$ely event th t he "ight $noc$ o** e rly. 8 d shed thro&gh the ho&se to the phone, $eys still in h nd. L!hie* Sw n, ple se,L 8 s id when the dep&ty nswered. L8tFs Bell .L LEh, hey, Bell ,L Dep&ty Steve s id ** bly. L8Fll go get hi".L 8 w ited. L-h tFs wrong, Bell KL !h rlie de" nded s soon s he pic$ed &p the phone. L! nFt 8 c ll yo& t wor$ witho&t there being n e"ergencyKL #e w s H&iet *or "in&te. L.ou never h ve be*ore. Is there n e"ergencyKL LNo. 8 J&st w nted directions to the Bl c$sF pl ce38F" not s&re 8 c n re"e"ber the w y. 8 w nt to visit 7 cob. 8 h venFt seen hi" in "onths.L -hen !h rlie spo$e g in, his voice w s "&ch h ppier. LTh tFs gre t ide , Bells. Do yo& h ve penKL The directions he g ve "e were very si"ple. 8 ss&red hi" th t 8 wo&ld be b c$ *or dinner, tho&gh he tried to tell "e not to h&rry. #e w nted to Join "e in L ?&sh, nd 8 w snFt h ving th t. So it w s with de dline th t 8 drove too H&ic$ly thro&gh the stor"6d r$ened streets o&t o* town. 8 hoped 8 co&ld get 7 cob lone. Billy wo&ld prob bly tell on "e i* he $new wh t 8 w s &p to. -hile 8 drove, 8 worried little bit bo&t BillyFs re ction to seeing "e. #e wo&ld be too ple sed. 8n BillyFs "ind, no do&bt, this h d ll wor$ed o&t better th n he h d d red to hope. #is ple s&re nd relie* wo&ld only re"ind "e o* the one 8 co&ldnFt be r to be re"inded o*. Not again today, 8 ple ded silently. 8 w s spent. The Bl c$sF ho&se w s v g&ely * "ili r, s" ll wooden pl ce with n rrow windows, the d&ll red p int " $ing it rese"ble tiny b rn. 7 cobFs he d peered o&t o* the window be*ore 8 co&ld even get o&t o* the tr&c$. No do&bt the * "ili r ro r o* the engine h d tipped hi" o** to "y ppro ch. 7 cob h d been very gr te*&l when !h rlie bo&ght BillyFs tr&c$ *or "e, s ving 7 cob
*ro" h ving to drive it when he c "e o* ge. 8 li$ed "y tr&c$ very "&ch, b&t 7 cob see"ed to consider the speed restrictions shortco"ing. #e "et "e h l*w y to the ho&se. LBell ML #is excited grin stretched wide cross his * ce, the bright teeth st nding in vivid contr st to the deep r&sset color o* his s$in. 8Fd never seen his h ir o&t o* its &s& l ponyt il be*ore. 8t *ell li$e bl c$ s tin c&rt ins on either side o* his bro d * ce. 7 cob h d grown into so"e o* his potenti l in the l st eight "onths. #eFd p ssed th t point where the so*t "&scles o* childhood h rdened into the solid, l n$y b&ild o* teen gerG the tendons nd veins h d beco"e pro"inent &nder the red6brown s$in o* his r"s, his h nds. #is * ce w s still sweet li$e 8 re"e"bered it, tho&gh it h d h rdened, too3the pl nes o* his chee$bones sh rper, his J w sH& red o**, ll childish ro&ndness gone. L#ey, 7 cobML 8 *elt n &n* "ili r s&rge o* enth&si s" t his s"ile. 8 re liIed th t 8 w s ple sed to see hi". This $nowledge s&rprised "e. 8 s"iled b c$, nd so"ething clic$ed silently into pl ce, li$e two corresponding p&IIle pieces. 8Fd *orgotten how "&ch 8 re lly li$ed 7 cob Bl c$. #e stopped *ew *eet w y *ro" "e, nd 8 st red &p t hi" in s&rprise, le ning "y he d b c$ tho&gh the r in pelted "y * ce. L+o& grew g inML 8 cc&sed in " Ie"ent. #e l &ghed, his s"ile widening i"possibly. LSix *ive,L he nno&nced with sel*6s tis* ction. #is voice w s deeper, b&t it h d the h&s$y tone 8 re"e"bered. L8s it ever going to stopKL 8 shoo$ "y he d in disbelie*. L+o&Fre h&ge.L LStill be npole, tho&gh.L #e gri" ced. L!o"e insideM +o&Fre getting ll wet.L #e led the w y, twisting his h ir in his big h nds s he w l$ed. #e p&lled r&bber b nd *ro" his hip poc$et nd wo&nd it ro&nd the b&ndle. L#ey, D d,L he c lled s he d&c$ed to get thro&gh the *ront door. LLoo$ who stopped by.L Billy w s in the tiny sH& re living roo", boo$ in his h nds. #e set the boo$ in his l p nd wheeled hi"sel* *orw rd when he s w "e. L-ell, wh t do yo& $nowM 8tFs good to see yo&, Bell .L -e shoo$ h nds. Mine w s lost in his wide gr sp. L-h t brings yo& o&t hereK 0verything o$ y with !h rlieKL L+es, bsol&tely. 8 J&st w nted to see 7 cob38 h venFt seen hi" in *orever.L 7 cobFs eyes brightened t "y words. #e w s s"iling so big it loo$ed li$e it wo&ld h&rt his chee$s.
L! n yo& st y *or dinnerKL Billy w s e ger, too. LNo, 8Fve got to *eed !h rlie, yo& $now.L L8Fll c ll hi" now,L Billy s&ggested. L#eFs lw ys invited.L 8 l &ghed to hide "y disco"*ort. L8tFs not li$e yo&Fll never see "e g in. 8 pro"ise 8Fll be b c$ g in soon3so "&ch yo&Fll get sic$ o* "e.L A*ter ll, i* 7 cob co&ld *ix the bi$e, so"eone h d to te ch "e how to ride it. Billy ch&c$led in response. LE$ y, " ybe next ti"e.L LSo, Bell , wh t do yo& w nt to doKL 7 cob s$ed. L-h tever. -h t were yo& doing be*ore 8 interr&ptedKL 8 w s str ngely co"*ort ble here. 8t w s * "ili r, b&t only dist ntly. There were no p in*&l re"inders o* the recent p st. 7 cob hesit ted. L8 w s J&st he ding o&t to wor$ on "y c r, b&t we c n do so"ething elseNL LNo, th tFs per*ectML 8 interr&pted. L8Fd love to see yo&r c r.L LE$ y,L he s id, not convinced. L8tFs o&t b c$, in the g r ge.L 1ven better, 8 tho&ght to "ysel*. 8 w ved t Billy. LSee yo& l ter.L A thic$ st nd o* trees nd shr&bbery conce led his g r ge *ro" the ho&se. The g r ge w s no "ore th n co&ple o* big pre*or"ed sheds th t h d been bolted together with their interior w lls $noc$ed o&t. 'nder this shelter, r ised on cinder bloc$s, w s wh t loo$ed to "e li$e co"pleted &to"obile. 8 recogniIed the sy"bol on the grille, t le st. L-h t $ind o* ,ol$sw gen is th tKL 8 s$ed. L8tFs n old B bbit3(196, cl ssic.L L#owFs it goingKL LAl"ost *inished,L he s id cheer*&lly. And then his voice dropped into lower $ey. LMy d d " de good on his pro"ise l st spring.L LAh,L 8 s id. #e see"ed to &nderst nd "y rel&ct nce to open the s&bJect. 8 tried not to re"e"ber l st M y t the pro". 7 cob h d been bribed by his * ther with "oney nd c r p rts to deliver "ess ge there. Billy w nted "e to st y s *e dist nce *ro" the "ost i"port nt person in "y li*e. 8t t&rned o&t th t his concern w s, in the end, &nnecess ry. 8 w s ll too s *e now. B&t 8 w s going to see wh t 8 co&ld do to ch nge th t. L7 cob, wh t do yo& $now bo&t "otorcyclesKL 8 s$ed. #e shr&gged. LSo"e. My *riend 0"bry h s dirt bi$e. -e wor$ on it together so"eti"es. -hyKL
L-ellNL 8 p&rsed "y lips s 8 considered. 8 w snFt s&re i* he co&ld $eep his "o&th sh&t, b&t 8 didnFt h ve " ny other options. L8 recently cH&ired co&ple o* bi$es, nd theyFre not in the gre test condition. 8 wonder i* yo& co&ld get the" r&nningKL L!ool.L #e see"ed tr&ly ple sed by the ch llenge. #is * ce glowed. L8Fll give it try.L 8 held &p one *inger in w rning. LThe thing is,L 8 expl ined, L!h rlie doesnFt pprove o* "otorcycles. #onestly, heFd prob bly b&st vein in his *orehe d i* he $new bo&t this. So yo& c nFt tell Billy.L LS&re, s&re.L 7 cob s"iled. L8 &nderst nd.L L8Fll p y yo&,L 8 contin&ed. This o**ended hi". LNo. 8 w nt to help. +o& c nFt p y "e.L L-ellN how bo&t tr de, thenKL 8 w s " $ing this &p s 8 went, b&t it see"ed re son ble eno&gh. L8 only need one bi$e3 nd 8Fll need lessons, too. So how bo&t thisK 8Fll give yo& the other bi$e, nd then yo& c n te ch "e.L LSwee6eet.L #e " de the word into two syll bles. L- it sec3 re yo& leg l yetK -henFs yo&r birthd yKL L+o& "issed it,L he te sed, n rrowing his eyes in "oc$ resent"ent. L8F" sixteen.L LNot th t yo&r ge ever stopped yo& be*ore,L 8 "&ttered. LSorry bo&t yo&r birthd y.L LDonFt worry bo&t it. 8 "issed yo&rs. -h t re yo&, *ortyKL 8 sni**ed. L!lose.L L-eFll h ve Joint p rty to " $e &p *or it.L LSo&nds li$e d te.L #is eyes sp r$led t the word. 8 needed to reign in the enth&si s" be*ore 8 g ve hi" the wrong ide 3it w s J&st th t it h d been long ti"e since 8Fd *elt so light nd b&oy nt. The r rity o* the *eeling " de it "ore di**ic&lt to " n ge. LM ybe when the bi$es re *inished3o&r present to o&rselves,L 8 dded. LDe l. -hen will yo& bring the" downKL 8 bit "y lip, e"b rr ssed. LTheyFre in "y tr&c$ now,L 8 d"itted. L%re t.L #e see"ed to "e n it. L-ill Billy see i* we bring the" ro&ndKL
#e win$ed t "e. L-eFll be sne $y.L -e e sed ro&nd *ro" the e st, stic$ing to the trees when we were in view o* the windows, **ecting c s& l6loo$ing stroll, J&st in c se. 7 cob &nlo ded the bi$es swi*tly *ro" the tr&c$ bed, wheeling the" one by one into the shr&bbery where 8 hid. 8t loo$ed too e sy *or hi"38Fd re"e"bered the bi$es being "&ch, "&ch he vier th n th t. LThese renFt h l* b d,L 7 cob ppr ised s we p&shed the" thro&gh the cover o* the trees. LThis one here will ct& lly be worth so"ething when 8F" done3itFs n old # rley Sprint.L LTh t oneFs yo&rs, then.L LAre yo& s&reKL LAbsol&tely.L LThese re going to t $e so"e c sh, tho&gh,L he s id, *rowning down t the bl c$ened "et l. L-eFll h ve to s ve &p *or p rts *irst.L L!e nothing,L 8 dis greed. L8* yo&Fre doing this *or *ree, 8Fll p y *or the p rts.L L8 donFt $nowNL he "&ttered. L8Fve got so"e "oney s ved. !ollege *&nd, yo& $now.L +ollege, schmollege, 8 tho&ght to "ysel*. 8t w snFt li$e 8Fd s ved &p eno&gh to go nywhere speci l3 nd besides, 8 h d no desire to le ve /or$s nyw y. -h t di**erence wo&ld it " $e i* 8 s$i""ed little bit o** the topK 7 cob J&st nodded. This ll " de per*ect sense to hi". As we s$&l$ed b c$ to the " $eshi*t g r ge, 8 conte"pl ted "y l&c$. Enly teen ge boy wo&ld gree to thisO deceiving both o&r p rents while rep iring d ngero&s vehicles &sing "oney "e nt *or "y college ed&c tion. #e didnFt see nything wrong with th t pict&re. 7 cob w s gi*t *ro" the gods.
6. FRIENDS
T#0 METEB!+!L0S D8DNFT N00D TE B0 #8DD0N AN+ *&rther th n si"ply pl cing the" in 7 cobFs shed. BillyFs wheelch ir co&ldnFt " ne&ver the &neven gro&nd sep r ting it *ro" the ho&se. 7 cob st rted p&lling the *irst bi$e3the red one, which w s destined *or "e3to pieces i""edi tely. #e opened &p the p ssenger door o* the B bbit so 8 co&ld sit on the se t inste d o* the gro&nd. -hile he wor$ed, 7 cob ch ttered h ppily, needing only the lightest o* n&dges *ro" "e to $eep the convers tion rolling. #e &pd ted "e on the progress o* his sopho"ore ye r o* school, r&nning on bo&t his cl sses nd his two best *riends. LA&il nd 0"bryKL 8 interr&pted. LThose re &n&s& l n "es.L
7 cob ch&c$led. LA&ilFs is h nd6"e6down, nd 8 thin$ 0"bry got n "ed *ter so p oper st r. 8 c nFt s y nything, tho&gh. They *ight dirty i* yo& st rt on their n "es3theyFll t g te " yo&.L L%ood *riends.L 8 r ised one eyebrow. LNo, they re. 7&st donFt "ess with their n "es.L 7&st then c ll echoed in the dist nce. L7 cobKL so"eone sho&ted. L8s th t BillyKL 8 s$ed. LNo.L 7 cob d&c$ed his he d, nd it loo$ed li$e he w s bl&shing &nder his brown s$in. LSpe $ o* the devil,L he "&"bled, L nd the devil sh ll ppe r.L L7 $eK Are yo& o&t hereKL The sho&ting voice w s closer now. L+e hML 7 cob sho&ted b c$, nd sighed. -e w ited thro&gh the short silence &ntil two t ll, d r$6s$inned boys strolled ro&nd the corner into the shed. Ene w s slender, nd l"ost s t ll s 7 cob. #is bl c$ h ir w s chin6length nd p rted down the "iddle, one side t&c$ed behind his le*t e r while the right side sw&ng *ree. The shorter boy w s "ore b&rly. #is white T6shirt str ined over his well6developed chest, nd he see"ed glee*&lly conscio&s o* th t * ct. #is h ir w s so short it w s l"ost b&II. Both boys stopped short when they s w "e. The thin boy gl nced swi*tly b c$ nd *orth between 7 cob nd "e, while the br wny boy $ept his eyes on "e, slow s"ile spre ding cross his * ce. L#ey, g&ys,L 7 cob greeted the" h l*he rtedly. L#ey, 7 $e,L the short one s id witho&t loo$ing w y *ro" "e. 8 h d to s"ile in response, his grin w s so i"pish. -hen 8 did, he win$ed t "e. L#i, there.L LA&il, 0"bry3this is "y *riend, Bell .L A&il nd 0"bry, 8 still didnFt $now which w s which, exch nged lo ded loo$. L!h rlieFs $id, rightKL the br wny boy s$ed "e, holding o&t his h nd. LTh tFs right,L 8 con*ir"ed, sh $ing h nds with hi". #is gr sp w s *ir"G it loo$ed li$e he w s *lexing his bicep. L8F" A&il Ate r ,L he nno&nced gr ndly be*ore rele sing "y h nd. LNice to "eet yo&, A&il.L L#ey, Bell . 8F" 0"bry, 0"bry ! ll3yo& prob bly lre dy *ig&red th t o&t, tho&gh.L 0"bry s"iled shy s"ile nd w ved with one h nd, which he then shoved in the poc$et o* his Je ns. 8 nodded. LNice to "eet yo&, too.L
LSo wh t re yo& g&ys doingKL A&il s$ed, still loo$ing t "e. LBell nd 8 re going to *ix &p these bi$es,L 7 cob expl ined in cc&r tely. B&t bikes see"ed to be the " gic word. Both boys went to ex "ine 7 cobFs proJect, drilling hi" with ed&c ted H&estions. M ny o* the words they &sed were &n* "ili r to "e, nd 8 *ig&red 8Fd h ve to h ve + chro"oso"e to re lly &nderst nd the excite"ent. They were still i""ersed in t l$ o* p rts nd pieces when 8 decided th t 8 needed to he d b c$ ho"e be*ore !h rlie showed &p here. -ith sigh, 8 slid o&t o* the B bbit. 7 cob loo$ed &p, pologetic. L-eFre boring yo&, renFt weKL LN w.L And it w snFt lie. 8 w s en%oying "ysel*3how str nge. L8 J&st h ve to go coo$ dinner *or !h rlie.L LEhN well, 8Fll *inish t $ing these p rt tonight nd *ig&re o&t wh t "ore weFll need to get st rted reb&ilding the". -hen do yo& w nt to wor$ on the" g inKL L!o&ld 8 co"e b c$ to"orrowKL S&nd ys were the b ne o* "y existence. There w s never eno&gh ho"ewor$ to $eep "e b&sy. A&il n&dged 0"bryFs r" nd they exch nged grins. 7 cob s"iled in delight. LTh t wo&ld be gre tML L8* yo& " $e list, we c n go shop *or p rts,L 8 s&ggested. 7 cobFs * ce *ell little. L8F" still not s&re 8 sho&ld let yo& p y *or everything.L 8 shoo$ "y he d. LNo w y. 8F" b n$rolling this p rty. +o& J&st h ve to s&pply the l bor nd expertise.L 0"bry rolled his eyes t A&il. LTh t doesnFt see" right,L 7 cob shoo$ his he d. L7 $e, i* 8 too$ these to "ech nic, how "&ch wo&ld he ch rge "eKL 8 pointed o&t. #e s"iled. LE$ y, yo&Fre getting de l.L LNot to "ention the riding lessons,L 8 dded. A&il grinned widely t 0"bry nd whispered so"ething 8 didnFt c tch. 7 cobFs h nd *l shed o&t to s" c$ the b c$ o* A&ilFs he d. LTh tFs it, get o&t,L he "&ttered. LNo, re lly, 8 h ve to go,L 8 protested, he ding *or the door. L8Fll see yo& to"orrow, 7 cob.L As soon s 8 w s o&t o* sight, 8 he rd A&il nd 0"bry chor&s, L-oooooML The so&nd o* brie* sc&**le *ollowed, interspersed with n Lo&chL nd LheyML
L8* either o* yo& set so "&ch s one toe on "y l nd to"orrowNL 8 he rd 7 cob thre ten. #is voice w s lost s 8 w l$ed thro&gh the trees. 8 giggled H&ietly. The so&nd " de "y eyes widen in wonder. 8 w s l &ghing, ct& lly l &ghing, nd there w snFt even nyone w tching. 8 *elt so weightless th t 8 l &ghed g in, J&st " $e the *eeling l st longer. 8 be t !h rlie ho"e. -hen he w l$ed in 8 w s J&st t $ing the *ried chic$en o&t o* the p n nd l ying it on pile o* p per towels. L#ey, D d.L 8 *l shed hi" grin. Shoc$ *litted cross his * ce be*ore he p&lled his expression together. L#ey, honey,L he s id, his voice &ncert in. LDid yo& h ve *&n with 7 cobKL 8 st rted "oving the *ood to the t ble. L+e h, 8 did.L L-ell, th tFs good.L #e w s still c &tio&s. L-h t did yo& two doKL Now it w s "y t&rn to be c &tio&s. L8 h&ng o&t in his g r ge nd w tched hi" wor$. Did yo& $now heFs reb&ilding ,ol$sw genKL L+e h, 8 thin$ Billy "entioned th t.L The interrog tion h d to stop when !h rlie beg n chewing, b&t he contin&ed to st&dy "y * ce s he te. A*ter dinner, 8 dithered ro&nd, cle ning the $itchen twice, nd then did "y ho"ewor$ slowly in the *ront roo" while !h rlie w tched hoc$ey g "e. 8 w ited s long s 8 co&ld, b&t *in lly !h rlie "entioned the l te ho&r. -hen 8 didnFt respond, he got &p, stretched, nd then le*t, t&rning o&t the light behind hi". Bel&ct ntly, 8 *ollowed. As 8 cli"bed the st irs, 8 *elt the l st o* the *ternoonFs bnor" l sense o* well6being dr in *ro" "y syste", repl ced by d&ll *e r t the tho&ght o* wh t 8 w s going to h ve to live thro&gh now. 8 w snFt n&"b ny"ore. Tonight wo&ld, no do&bt, be s horri*ic s l st night. 8 l y down on "y bed nd c&rled into b ll in prep r tion *or the onsl &ght. 8 sH&eeIed "y eyes sh&t ndN the next thing 8 next 8 $new, it w s "orning. 8 st red t the p le silver light co"ing thro&gh "y window, st&nned. /or the *irst ti"e in "ore th n *o&r "onths, 8Fd slept witho&t dre "ing. Dre "ing or scre "ing. 8 co&ldnFt tell which e"otion w s stronger3the relie* or the shoc$. 8 l y still in "y bed *or *ew "in&tes, w iting *or it to co"e b c$. Bec &se so"ething "&st be co"ing. 8* not the p in, then the n&"bness. 8 w ited, b&t nothing h ppened. 8 *elt "ore rested th n 8 h d in long ti"e. 8 didnFt tr&st this to l st. 8t w s slippery, prec rio&s edge th t 8 b l nced on, nd it wo&ldnFt t $e "&ch to $noc$ "e b c$ down. 7&st gl ncing ro&nd "y roo" with these s&ddenly cle r eyes3 noticing how str nge it loo$ed, too tidy, li$e 8 didnFt live here t ll3w s d ngero&s.
8 p&shed th t tho&ght *ro" "y "ind, nd concentr ted, s 8 got dressed, on the * ct th t 8 w s going to see 7 cob g in tod y. The tho&ght " de "e *eel l"ostN hope*&l. M ybe it wo&ld be the s "e s yesterd y. M ybe 8 wo&ldnFt h ve to re"ind "ysel* to loo$ interested nd to nod or s"ile t ppropri te interv ls, the w y 8 h d to with everyone else. M ybeN b&t 8 wo&ldnFt tr&st this to l st, either. -o&ldnFt tr&st it to be the s "e3so e sy3 s yesterd y. 8 w snFt going to set "ysel* &p *or dis ppoint"ent li$e th t. At bre $* st, !h rlie w s being c re*&l, too. #e tried to hide his scr&tiny, $eeping his eyes on his eggs &ntil he tho&ght 8 w snFt loo$ing. L-h t re yo& &p to tod yKL he s$ed, eyeing loose thre d on the edge o* his c&** li$e he w snFt p ying "&ch ttention to "y nswer. L8F" going to h ng o&t with 7 cob g in.L #e nodded witho&t loo$ing &p. LEh,L he s id. LDo yo& "indKL 8 pretended to worry. L8 co&ld st yNL #e gl nced &p H&ic$ly, hint o* p nic in his eyes. LNo, noM +o& go he d. # rry w s going to co"e &p to w tch the g "e with "e nyw y.L LM ybe # rry co&ld give Billy ride &p,L 8 s&ggested. The *ewer witnesses the better. LTh tFs gre t ide .L 8 w snFt s&re i* the g "e w s J&st n exc&se *or $ic$ing "e o&t, b&t he loo$ed excited eno&gh now. #e he ded to the phone while 8 donned "y r in J c$et. 8 *elt sel*6conscio&s with the chec$boo$ shoved in "y J c$et poc$et. 8t w s so"ething 8 never &sed. E&tside, the r in c "e down li$e w ter slopped *ro" b&c$et. 8 h d to drive "ore slowly th n 8 w nted toG 8 co&ld h rdly see c r length in *ront o* the tr&c$. B&t 8 *in lly " de it thro&gh the "&ddy l nes to 7 cobFs ho&se. Be*ore 8Fd $illed the engine, the *ront door opened nd 7 cob c "e r&nning o&t with h&ge bl c$ &"brell . #e held it over "y door while 8 opened it. L!h rlie c lled3s id yo& were on yo&r w y,L 7 cob expl ined with grin. 0**ortlessly, witho&t conscio&s co"" nd to the "&scles ro&nd "y lips, "y nswering s"ile spre d cross "y * ce. A str nge *eeling o* w r"th b&bbled &p in "y thro t, despite the icy r in spl ttering on "y chee$s. L#i, 7 cob.L L%ood c ll on inviting Billy &p.L #e held &p his h nd *or high *ive. 8 h d to re ch so high to sl p his h nd th t he l &ghed. # rry showed &p to get Billy J&st *ew "in&tes l ter. 7 cob too$ "e on brie* to&r o* his tiny roo" while we w ited to be &ns&pervised.
LSo where to, Mr. %oodwrenchKL 8 s$ed s soon s the door closed behind Billy. 7 cob p&lled *olded p per o&t o* his poc$et nd s"oothed it o&t. L-eFll st rt t the d&"p *irst, see i* we c n get l&c$y. This co&ld get little expensive,L he w rned "e. LThose bi$es re going to need lot o* help be*ore theyFll r&n g in.L My * ce didnFt loo$ worried eno&gh, so he contin&ed. L8F" t l$ing bo&t " ybe "ore th n h&ndred doll rs here.L 8 p&lled "y chec$boo$ o&t, * nned "ysel* with it, nd rolled "y eyes t his worries. L-eFre covered.L 8t w s very str nge $ind o* d y. 8 enJoyed "ysel*. 0ven t the d&"p, in the slopping r in nd n$le6deep "&d. 8 wondered t *irst i* it w s J&st the *tershoc$ o* losing the n&"bness, b&t 8 didnFt thin$ th t w s eno&gh o* n expl n tion. 8 w s beginning to thin$ it w s "ostly 7 cob. 8t w snFt J&st th t he w s lw ys so h ppy to see "e, or th t he didnFt w tch "e o&t o* the corner o* his eye, w iting *or "e to do so"ething th t wo&ld " r$ "e s cr Iy or depressed. 8t w s nothing th t rel ted to "e t ll. 8t w s 7 cob hi"sel*. 7 cob w s si"ply perpet& lly h ppy person, nd he c rried th t h ppiness with hi" li$e n &r , sh ring it with whoever w s ne r hi". Li$e n e rthbo&nd s&n, whenever so"eone w s within his gr vit tion l p&ll, 7 cob w r"ed the". 8t w s n t&r l, p rt o* who he w s. No wonder 8 w s so e ger to see hi". 0ven when he co""ented on the g ping hole in "y d shbo rd, it didnFt send "e into p nic li$e it sho&ld h ve. LDid the stereo bre $KL he wondered. L+e h,L 8 lied. #e po$ed ro&nd in the c vity. L-ho too$ it o&tK ThereFs lot o* d " geNL L8 did,L 8 d"itted. #e l &ghed. LM ybe yo& sho&ldnFt to&ch the "otorcycles too "&ch.L LNo proble".L According to 7 cob, we did get l&c$y t the d&"p. #e w s very excited bo&t sever l gre se6 bl c$ened pieces o* twisted "et l th t he *o&ndG 8 w s J&st i"pressed th t he co&ld tell wh t they were s&pposed to be. /ro" there we went to the !hec$er A&to ? rts down in #oH&i ". 8n "y tr&c$, it w s "ore th n two ho&r drive so&th on the winding *reew y, b&t the ti"e p ssed e sily with 7 cob. #e ch ttered bo&t his *riends nd his school, nd 8 *o&nd "ysel* s$ing H&estions, not even pretending, tr&ly c&rio&s to he r wh t he h d to s y. L8F" doing ll the t l$ing,L he co"pl ined *ter long story bo&t A&il nd the tro&ble heFd stirred &p by s$ing o&t seniorFs ste dy girl*riend. L-hy donFt yo& t $e t&rnK -h tFs going on in /or$sK 8t h s to be "ore exciting th n L ?&sh.L
L-rong,L 8 sighed. LThereFs re lly nothing. +o&r *riends re lot "ore interesting th n "ine. 8 li$e yo&r *riends. A&ilFs *&nny.L #e *rowned. L8 thin$ A&il li$es yo&, too.L 8 l &ghed. L#eFs little yo&ng *or "e.L 7 cobFs *rown deepened. L#eFs not th t "&ch yo&nger th n yo&. 8tFs J&st ye r nd *ew "onths.L 8 h d *eeling we werenFt t l$ing bo&t A&il ny"ore. 8 $ept "y voice light, te sing. LS&re, b&t, considering the di**erence in " t&rity between g&ys nd girls, donFt yo& h ve to co&nt th t in dog ye rsK -h t does th t " $e "e, bo&t twelve ye rs olderKL #e l &ghed, rolling his eyes. LE$ y, b&t i* yo&Fre going to get pic$y li$e th t, yo& h ve to ver ge in siIe, too. +o&Fre so s" ll, 8Fll h ve to $noc$ ten ye rs o** yo&r tot l.L L/ive *oot *o&r is per*ectly ver ge.L 8 sni**ed. L8tFs not "y * &lt yo&Fre *re $.L -e b ntered li$e th t till #oH&i ", still rg&ing over the correct *or"&l to deter"ine ge38 lost two "ore ye rs bec &se 8 didnFt $now how to ch nge tire, b&t g ined one b c$ *or being in ch rge o* the boo$$eeping t "y ho&se3&ntil we were in !hec$er, nd 7 cob h d to concentr te g in. -e *o&nd everything le*t on his list, nd 7 cob *elt con*ident th t he co&ld " $e lot o* progress with o&r h &l. By the ti"e we got b c$ to L ?&sh, 8 w s twenty6three nd he w s thirty3he w s de*initely weighting s$ills in his * vor. 8 h dnFt *orgotten the re son *or wh t 8 w s doing. And, even tho&gh 8 w s enJoying "ysel* "ore th n 8Fd tho&ght possible, there w s no lessening o* "y origin l desire. 8 still w nted to che t. 8t w s senseless, nd 8 re lly didnFt c re. 8 w s going to be s rec$less s 8 co&ld possibly " n ge in /or$s. 8 wo&ld not be the only $eeper o* n e"pty contr ct. %etting to spend ti"e with 7 cob w s J&st "&ch bigger per$ th n 8Fd expected. Billy w snFt b c$ yet, so we didnFt h ve to be sne $y bo&t &nlo ding o&r d yFs spoils. As soon s we h d everything l id o&t on the pl stic *loor next to 7 cobFs toolbox, he went right to wor$, still t l$ing nd l &ghing while his *ingers co"bed expertly thro&gh the "et l pieces in *ront o* hi". 7 cobFs s$ill with his h nds w s * scin ting. They loo$ed too big *or the delic te t s$s they per*or"ed with e se nd precision. -hile he wor$ed, he see"ed l"ost gr ce*&l. 'nli$e when he w s on his *eetG there, his height nd big *eet " de hi" ne rly s d ngero&s s 8 w s. A&il nd 0"bry did not show &p, so " ybe his thre t yesterd y h d been t $en serio&sly. The d y p ssed too H&ic$ly. 8t got d r$ o&tside the "o&th o* the g r ge be*ore 8 w s expecting it, nd then we he rd Billy c lling *or &s. 8 J&"ped &p to help 7 cob p&t things w y, hesit ting bec &se 8 w snFt s&re wh t 8 sho&ld to&ch. L7&st le ve it,L he s id. L8Fll wor$ on it l ter tonight.L
LDonFt *orget yo&r schoolwor$ or nything,L 8 s id, *eeling little g&ilty. 8 didnFt w nt hi" to get in tro&ble. Th t pl n w s J&st *or "e. LBell KL Both o&r he ds sn pped &p s !h rlieFs * "ili r voice w *ted thro&gh the trees, so&nding closer th n the ho&se. LShoot,L 8 "&ttered. L!o"ingML 8 yelled tow rd the ho&se. LLetFs go.L 7 cob s"iled, enJoying the clo $6 nd6d gger. #e sn pped the light o**, nd *or "o"ent 8 w s blind. 7 cob gr bbed "y h nd nd towed "e o&t o* the g r ge nd thro&gh the trees, his *eet *inding the * "ili r p th e sily. #is h nd w s ro&gh, nd very w r". Despite the p th, we were both tripping over o&r *eet in the d r$ness. So we were lso both l &ghing when the ho&se c "e into view. The l &ghter did not go deepG it w s light nd s&per*ici l, b&t still nice. 8 w s s&re he wo&ldnFt notice the * int hint o* hysteri . 8 w snFt &sed to l &ghing, nd it *elt right nd lso very wrong t the s "e ti"e. !h rlie w s st nding &nder the little b c$ porch, nd Billy w s sitting in the doorw y behind the". L#ey, D d,L we both s id t the s "e ti"e, nd th t st rted &s l &ghing g in. !h rlie st red t "e with wide eyes th t *l shed down to note 7 cobFs h nd ro&nd "ine. LBilly invited &s *or dinner,L !h rlie s id to &s in n bsent"inded tone. LMy s&per secret recipe *or sp ghetti. # nded down *or gener tions,L Billy s id gr vely. 7 cob snorted. L8 donFt thin$ B g&Fs ct& lly been ro&nd th t long.L The ho&se w s crowded. # rry !le rw ter w s there, too, with his * "ily3his wi*e, S&e, who" 8 $new v g&ely *ro" "y childhood s&""ers in /or$s, nd his two children. Le h w s senior li$e "e, b&t ye r older. She w s be &ti*&l in n exotic w y3per*ect copper s$in, glistening bl c$ h ir, eyel shes li$e *e ther d&sters3 nd preocc&pied. She w s on BillyFs phone when we got in, nd she never let it go. Seth w s *o&rteenG he h&ng on 7 cobFs every word with idoliIing eyes. There were too " ny o* &s *or the $itchen t ble, so !h rlie nd # rry bro&ght ch irs o&t to the y rd, nd we te sp ghetti o** pl tes on o&r l ps in the di" light *ro" BillyFs open door. The "en t l$ed bo&t the g "e, nd # rry nd !h rlie " de *ishing pl ns. S&e te sed her h&sb nd bo&t his cholesterol nd tried, &ns&ccess*&lly, to sh "e hi" into e ting so"ething green nd le *y. 7 cob t l$ed "ostly to "e nd Seth, who interr&pted e gerly whenever 7 cob see"ed in d nger o* *orgetting hi". !h rlie w tched "e, trying to be inconspic&o&s bo&t it, with ple sed b&t c &tio&s eyes. 8t w s lo&d nd so"eti"es con*&sing s everyone t l$ed over everyone else, nd the l &ghter *ro" one Jo$e interr&pted the telling o* nother. 8 didnFt h ve to spe $ o*ten, b&t 8 s"iled lot, nd only bec &se 8 *elt li$e it. 8 didnFt w nt to le ve.
This w s - shington, tho&gh, nd the inevit ble r in event& lly bro$e &p the p rtyG BillyFs living roo" w s "&ch too s" ll to provide n option *or contin&ing the get6together. # rry h d driven !h rlie down, so we rode together in "y tr&c$ on the w y b c$ ho"e. #e s$ed bo&t "y d y, nd 8 told "ostly the tr&th3th t 8Fd gone with 7 cob to loo$ t p rts nd then w tched hi" wor$ in his g r ge. L+o& thin$ yo&Fll visit g in nyti"e soonKL he wondered, trying to be c s& l bo&t it. LTo"orrow *ter school,L 8 d"itted. L8Fll t $e ho"ewor$, donFt worry.L L+o& be s&re to do th t,L he ordered, trying to disg&ise his s tis* ction. 8 w s nervo&s when we got to the ho&se. 8 didnFt w nt to go &pst irs. The w r"th o* 7 cobFs presence w s * ding nd, in its bsence, the nxiety grew stronger. 8 w s s&re 8 wo&ldnFt get w y with two pe ce*&l nights o* sleep in row. To p&t bedti"e o**, 8 chec$ed "y e6" ilG there w s new "ess ge *ro" Benee. She wrote bo&t her d y, new boo$ cl&b th t rilled the ti"e slot o* the "edit tion cl sses sheFd J&st H&it, her wee$ s&bbing in the second gr de, "issing her $inderg rteners. She wrote th t ?hil w s enJoying his new co ching Job, nd th t they were pl nning second honey"oon trip to Disney -orld. And 8 noticed th t the whole thing re d li$e Jo&rn l entry, r ther th n letter to so"eone else. Be"orse *looded thro&gh "e, le ving n &nco"*ort ble sting behind. So"e d &ghter 8 w s. 8 wrote b c$ to her H&ic$ly, co""enting on e ch p rt o* her letter, vol&nteering in*or" tion o* "y own3describing the sp ghetti p rty t BillyFs nd how 8 *elt w tching 7 cob b&ild &se*&l things o&t o* s" ll pieces o* "et l3 wed nd slightly envio&s. 8 " de no re*erence to the ch nge this letter wo&ld be *ro" the ones sheFd received in the l st sever l "onths. 8 co&ld b rely re"e"ber wh t 8Fd written to her even s recently s l st wee$, b&t 8 w s s&re it w snFt very responsive. The "ore 8 tho&ght bo&t it, the g&iltier 8 *eltG 8 re lly "&st h ve worried her. 8 st yed &p extr l te *ter th t, *inishing "ore ho"ewor$ th n strictly necess ry. B&t neither sleep depriv tion nor the ti"e spent with 7 cob3being l"ost h ppy in sh llow $ind o* w y3 co&ld $eep the dre " w y *or two nights in row. 8 wo$e sh&ddering, "y scre " "&**led by the pillow. As the di" "orning light *iltered thro&gh the *og o&tside "y window, 8 l y still in bed nd tried to sh $e o** the dre ". There h d been s" ll di**erence l st night, nd 8 concentr ted on th t. L st night 8 h d not been lone in the woods. S " 'ley3the " n who h d p&lled "e *ro" the *orest *loor th t night 8 co&ldnFt be r to thin$ o* conscio&sly3w s there. 8t w s n odd, &nexpected lter tion. The " nFs d r$ eyes h d been s&rprisingly &n*riendly, *illed with so"e secret he didnFt see" inclined to sh re. 8Fd st red t hi" s o*ten s "y *r ntic se rching h d llowedG it " de "e &nco"*ort ble, &nder ll the &s& l p nic, to h ve hi" there. M ybe th t w s bec &se, when 8 didnFt loo$ directly t hi", his sh pe see"ed to shiver nd ch nge in "y peripher l vision. +et he did nothing b&t st nd nd w tch. 'nli$e the ti"e when we h d "et in re lity, he did not o**er "e his help.
!h rlie st red t "e d&ring bre $* st, nd 8 tried to ignore hi". 8 s&pposed 8 deserved it. 8 co&ldnFt expect hi" not to worry. 8t wo&ld prob bly be wee$s be*ore he stopped w tching *or the ret&rn o* the Io"bie, nd 8 wo&ld J&st h ve to try to not let it bother "e. A*ter ll, 8 wo&ld be w tching *or the ret&rn o* the Io"bie, too. Two d ys w s h rdly long eno&gh to c ll "e c&red. School w s the opposite. Now th t 8 w s p ying ttention, it w s cle r th t no one w s w tching here. 8 re"e"bered the *irst d y 8Fd co"e to /or$s #igh School3how desper tely 8Fd wished th t 8 co&ld t&rn gr y, * de into the wet concrete o* the sidew l$ li$e n oversiIed ch "eleon. 8t see"ed 8 w s getting th t wish nswered, ye r l te. 8t w s li$e 8 w snFt there. 0ven "y te chersF eyes slid p st "y se t s i* it were e"pty. 8 listened ll thro&gh the "orning, he ring once g in the voices o* the people ro&nd "e. 8 tried to c tch &p on wh t w s going on, b&t the convers tions were so disJointed th t 8 g ve &p. 7essic didnFt loo$ &p when 8 s t down next to her in ! lc&l&s. L#ey, 7ess,L 8 s id with p&t6on nonch l nce. L#ow w s the rest o* yo&r wee$endKL She loo$ed t "e with s&spicio&s eyes. !o&ld she still be ngryK Er w s she J&st too i"p tient to de l with cr Iy personK LS&per,L she s id, t&rning b c$ to her boo$. LTh tFs good,L 8 "&"bled. The *ig&re o* speech cold shoulder see"ed to h ve so"e liter l tr&th to it. 8 co&ld *eel the w r" ir blowing *ro" the *loor vents, b&t 8 w s still too cold. 8 too$ the J c$et o** the b c$ o* "y ch ir nd p&t it on g in. My *o&rth ho&r cl ss got o&t l te, nd the l&nch t ble 8 lw ys s t t w s *&ll by the ti"e 8 rrived. Mi$e w s there, 7essic nd Angel , !onner, Tyler, 0ric nd L &ren. C tie M rsh ll, the redhe ded J&nior who lived ro&nd the corner *ro" "e, w s sitting with 0ric, nd A&stin M r$s 3older brother to the boy with the "otorcycles3w s next to her. 8 wondered how long theyFd been sitting here, &n ble to re"e"ber i* this w s the *irst d y or so"ething th t w s reg&l r h bit. 8 w s beginning to get nnoyed with "ysel*. 8 "ight s well h ve been p c$ed in Styro*o " pe n&ts thro&gh the l st se"ester. No one loo$ed &p when 8 s t down next to Mi$e, even tho&gh the ch ir sH&e led stridently g inst the linole&" s 8 dr gged it b c$. 8 tried to c tch &p with the convers tion. Mi$e nd !onner were t l$ing sports, so 8 g ve &p on th t one t once. L-hereFs Ben tod yKL L &ren w s s$ing Angel . 8 per$ed &p, interested. 8 wondered i* th t "e nt Angel nd Ben were still together.
8 b rely recogniIed L &ren. SheFd c&t o** ll her blond, corn6sil$ h ir3now she h d pixie c&t so short th t the b c$ w s sh ved li$e boy. -h t n odd thing *or her to do. 8 wished 8 $new the re son behind it. Did she get g&" st&c$ in itK Did she sell itK # d ll the people she w s h bit& lly n sty to c &ght her behind the gy" nd sc lped herK 8 decided it w snFt * ir *or "e to J&dge her now by "y *or"er opinion. /or ll 8 $new, sheFd t&rned into nice person. LBenFs got the sto" ch *l&,L Angel s id in her H&iet, c l" voice. L#ope*&lly itFs J&st so"e twenty6*o&r ho&r thing. #e w s re lly sic$ l st night.L Angel h d ch nged her h ir, too. SheFd grown o&t her l yers. L-h t did yo& two do this wee$endKL 7essic s$ed, not so&nding s i* she c red bo&t the nswer. 8Fd bet th t this w s J&st n opener so she co&ld tell her own stories. 8 wondered i* she wo&ld t l$ bo&t ?ort Angeles with "e sitting two se ts w yK - s 8 th t invisible, th t no one wo&ld *eel &nco"*ort ble disc&ssing "e while 8 w s hereK L-e were going to h ve picnic S t&rd y, ct& lly, b&tN we ch nged o&r "inds,L Angel s id. There w s n edge to her voice th t c &ght "y interest. 7ess, not so "&ch. LTh tFs too b d,L she s id, bo&t to l &nch into her story. B&t 8 w snFt the only one who w s p ying ttention. L-h t h ppenedKL L &ren s$ed c&rio&sly. L-ell,L Angel s id, see"ing "ore hesit nt th n &s& l, tho&gh she w s lw ys reserved, Lwe drove &p north, l"ost to the hot springs3thereFs good spot J&st bo&t "ile &p the tr il. B&t, when we were h l*w y thereN we s w so"ething.L LS w so"ethingK -h tKL L &renFs p le eyebrows p&lled together. 0ven 7ess see"ed to be listening now. L8 donFt $now,L Angel s id. L-e think it w s be r. 8t w s bl c$, nyw y, b&t it see"edN too big.L L &ren snorted. LEh, not yo&, tooML #er eyes t&rned "oc$ing, nd 8 decided 8 didnFt need to give her the bene*it o* the do&bt. Ebvio&sly her person lity h d not ch nged s "&ch s her h ir. LTyler tried to sell "e th t one l st wee$.L L+o&Fre not going to see ny be rs th t close to the resort,L 7essic s id, siding with L &ren. LBe lly,L Angel protested in low voice, loo$ing down t the t ble. L-e did see it.L L &ren snic$ered. Mi$e w s still t l$ing to !onner, not p ying ttention to the girls. LNo, sheFs right,L 8 threw in i"p tiently. L-e h d hi$er in J&st S t&rd y who s w the be r, too, Angel . #e s id it w s h&ge nd bl c$ nd J&st o&tside o* town, didnFt he, Mi$eKL There w s "o"ent o* silence. 0very p ir o* eyes t the t ble t&rned to st re t "e in shoc$. The new girl, C tie, h d her "o&th h nging open li$e sheFd J&st witnessed n explosion. Nobody "oved. LMi$eKL 8 "&ttered, "orti*ied. LBe"e"ber the g&y with the be r storyKL
LS6s&re,L Mi$e st&ttered *ter second. 8 didnFt $now why he w s loo$ing t "e so str ngely. 8 t l$ed to hi" t wor$, didnFt 8K Did 8K 8 tho&ght soN Mi$e recovered. L+e h, there w s g&y who s id he s w h&ge bl c$ be r right t the tr ilhe d 3bigger th n griIIly,L he con*ir"ed. L#"ph.L L &ren t&rned to 7essic , her sho&lders sti**, nd ch nged the s&bJect. LDid yo& he r b c$ *ro" 'S!KL she s$ed. 0veryone else loo$ed w y, too, except *or Mi$e nd Angel . Angel s"iled t "e tent tively, nd 8 h&rried to ret&rn the s"ile. LSo, wh t did yo& do this wee$end, Bell KL Mi$e s$ed, c&rio&s, b&t oddly w ry. 0veryone b&t L &ren loo$ed b c$, w iting *or "y response. L/rid y night, 7essic nd 8 went to "ovie in ?ort Angeles. And then 8 spent S t&rd y *ternoon nd "ost o* S&nd y down t L ?&sh.L The eyes *lic$ered to 7essic nd b c$ to "e. 7ess loo$ed irrit ted. 8 wondered i* she didnFt w nt nyone to $now sheFd gone o&t with "e, or whether she J&st w nted to be the one to tell the story. L-h t "ovie did yo& seeKL Mi$e s$ed, st rting to s"ile. L&ead 1nd3the one with the Io"bies.L 8 grinned in enco&r ge"ent. M ybe so"e o* the d " ge 8Fd done in these p st Io"bie "onths w s rep r ble. L8 he rd th t w s sc ry. Did yo& thin$ soKL Mi$e w s e ger to contin&e the convers tion. LBell h d to le ve t the end, she w s so *re $ed,L 7essic inserted with sly s"ile. 8 nodded, trying to loo$ e"b rr ssed. L8t w s pretty sc ry.L Mi$e didnFt stop s$ing "e H&estions till l&nch w s over. %r d& lly, the others were ble to st rt &p their own convers tions g in, tho&gh they still loo$ed t "e lot. Angel t l$ed "ostly to Mi$e nd "e, nd, when 8 got &p to d&"p "y tr y, she *ollowed. LTh n$s,L she s id in low voice when we were w y *ro" the t ble. L/or wh tKL LSpe $ing &p, stic$ing &p *or "e.L LNo proble".L She loo$ed t "e with concern, b&t not the o**ensive, " ybe6sheFs6lost6it $ind. LAre yo& o$ yKL This is why 8Fd pic$ed 7essic over Angel 3tho&gh 8Fd lw ys li$ed Angel "ore3*or the girlsF night "ovie. Angel w s too perceptive.
LNot co"pletely,L 8 d"itted. LB&t 8F" little bit better.L L8F" gl d,L she s id. L8Fve "issed yo&.L L &ren nd 7essic strolled by &s then, nd 8 he rd L &ren whisper lo&dly, LEh, %oy Bell Fs b c$.L Angel rolled her eyes t the", nd s"iled t "e in enco&r ge"ent. 8 sighed 8t w s li$e 8 w s st rting ll over g in. L-h tFs tod yFs d teKL 8 wondered s&ddenly. L8tFs 7 n& ry nineteenth.L L#"".L L-h t is itKL Angel s$ed.
L8t w s ye r go yesterd y th t 8 h d "y *irst d y here,L 8 "&sed. LNothingFs ch nged "&ch,L Angel "&ttered, loo$ing *ter L &ren nd 7essic . L8 $now, 8 greed 8 w s J&st thin$ing the s "e thing.L
7 REPETITION
8 -ASNFT S'B0 -#AT T#0 #0LL 8 -AS DE8N% #0B0 - s 8 trying to p&sh "ysel* b c$ into the Io"bie st&porK # d 8 t&rned " sochistic3developed t ste *or tort&reK 8 sho&ld h ve gone str ight down to L ?&sh 8 *elt "&ch, "&ch he lthier ro&nd 7 cob This w s not he lthy thing to do. B&t 8 contin&ed to drive slowly down the overgrown l ne, twisting thro&gh the trees th t rched over "e li$e green, living t&nnel My h nds were sh $ing, so 8 tightened "y grip on the steering wheel. 8 $new th t p rt o* the re son 8 did this w s the night" re, now th t 8 w s re lly w $e, the nothingness o* the dre " gn wed on "y nerves, dog worrying bone. There as so"ething to se rch *or. 'n tt in ble nd i"possible, &nc ring nd distr ctedN b&t he w s o&t there, so"ewhere. 8 h d to believe th t. The other p rt w s the str nge sense o* repetition 8Fd *elt t school tod y, the coincidence o* the d te. The *eeling th t 8 w s st rting over3perh ps the w y "y *irst d y wo&ld h ve gone i* 8Fd re lly been the "ost &n&s& l person in the c *eteri th t *ternoon. The words r n thro&gh "y he d, tonelessly, li$e 8 w s re ding the" r ther th n he ring the" spo$enO
It ill be as if I$d never e5isted. 8 w s lying to "ysel* by splitting "y re son *or co"ing here into J&st two p rts. 8 didnFt w nt to d"it the strongest "otiv tion. Bec &se it w s "ent lly &nso&nd. The tr&th w s th t 8 w nted to he r his voice g in, li$e 8 h d in the str nge del&sion /rid y night. /or th t brie* "o"ent, when his voice c "e *ro" so"e other p rt o* "e th n "y conscio&s "e"ory, when his voice w s per*ect nd honey s"ooth r ther th n the p le echo "y "e"ories &s& lly prod&ced, 8 w s ble to re"e"ber witho&t p in. 8t h dnFt l stedG the p in h d c &ght &p with "e, s 8 w s s&re it wo&ld *or this *oolFs err nd. B&t those precio&s "o"ents when 8 co&ld he r hi" g in were n irresistible l&re. 8 h d to *ind so"e w y to repe t the experienceN or " ybe the better word w s episode. 8 w s hoping th t dQJR v& w s the $ey. So 8 w s going to his ho"e, pl ce 8 h dnFt been since "y ill6* ted birthd y p rty, so " ny "onths go. The thic$, l"ost J&ngle6li$e growth cr wled slowly p st "y windows. The drive wo&nd on nd on. 8 st rted to go * ster, getting edgy. #ow long h d 8 been drivingK Sho&ldnFt 8 h ve re ched the ho&se yetK The l ne w s so overgrown th t it did not loo$ * "ili r. -h t i* 8 co&ldnFt *ind itK 8 shivered. -h t i* there w s no t ngible proo* t llK Then there w s the bre $ in the trees th t 8 w s loo$ing *or, only it w s not so prono&nced s be*ore. The *lor here did not w it long to recl i" ny l nd th t w s le*t &ng& rded. The t ll *erns h d in*iltr ted the "e dow ro&nd the ho&se, crowding g inst the tr&n$s o* the ced rs, even the wide porch. 8t w s li$e the l wn h d been *looded3w ist6high3with green, *e thery w ves. And the ho&se as there, b&t it w s not the s "e. Tho&gh nothing h d ch nged on the o&tside, the e"ptiness scre "ed *ro" the bl n$ windows. 8t w s creepy. /or the *irst ti"e since 8Fd seen the be &ti*&l ho&se, it loo$ed li$e *itting h &nt *or v "pires. 8 hit the br $es, loo$ing w y. 8 w s *r id to go * rther. B&t nothing h ppened. No voice in "y he d. So 8 le*t the engine r&nning nd J&"ped o&t into the *ern se . M ybe, li$e /rid y night, i* 8 w l$ed *orw rdN 8 ppro ched the b rren, v c nt * ce slowly, "y tr&c$ r&"bling o&t co"*orting ro r behind "e. 8 stopped when 8 got to the porch st irs, bec &se there w s nothing here. No lingering sense o* their presenceN o* his presence. The ho&se w s solidly here, b&t it "e nt little. 8ts concrete re lity wo&ld not co&nter ct the nothingness o* the night" res. 8 didnFt go ny closer. 8 didnFt w nt to loo$ in the windows. 8 w snFt s&re which wo&ld be h rder to see. 8* the roo"s were b re, echoing e"pty *ro" *loor to ceiling, th t wo&ld cert inly h&rt. Li$e "y gr nd"otherFs *&ner l, when "y "other h d insisted th t 8 st y o&tside d&ring the viewing. She h d s id th t 8 didnFt need to see %r n th t w y, to re"e"ber her th t w y, r ther th n live. B&t wo&ldnFt it be worse i* there were no ch ngeK 8* the co&ches s t J&st s 8Fd l st seen the", the p intings on the w lls3worse still, the pi no on its low pl t*or"K 8t wo&ld be second only to the
ho&se dis ppe ring ll together, to see th t there w s no physic l possession th t tied the" in nyw y. Th t everything re" ined, &nto&ched nd *orgotten, behind the". 7&st li$e "e. 8 t&rned "y b c$ on the g ping e"ptiness nd h&rried to "y tr&c$. 8 ne rly r n. 8 w s nxio&s to be gone, to get b c$ to the h&" n world. 8 *elt hideo&sly e"pty, nd 8 w nted to see 7 cob. M ybe 8 w s developing new $ind o* sic$ness, nother ddiction, li$e the n&"bness be*ore. 8 didnFt c re. 8 p&shed "y tr&c$ s * st s it wo&ld go s 8 b rreled tow rd "y *ix. 7 cob w s w iting *or "e. My chest see"ed to rel x s soon s 8 s w hi", " $ing it e sier to bre the. L#ey, Bell ,L he c lled. 8 s"iled in relie*. L#ey, 7 cob,L 8 w ved t Billy, who w s loo$ing o&t the window. LLetFs get to wor$,L 7 cob s id in low b&t e ger voice. 8 w s so"ehow ble to l &gh. L+o& serio&sly renFt sic$ o* "e yetKL 8 wondered. #e "&st be st rting to s$ hi"sel* how desper te 8 w s *or co"p ny. 7 cob led the w y ro&nd the ho&se to his g r ge. LNope. Not yet.L L?le se let "e $now when 8 st rt getting on yo&r nerves. 8 donFt w nt to be p in.L LE$ y.L #e l &ghed, thro ty so&nd. L8 wo&ldnFt hold yo&r bre th *or th t, tho&gh.L -hen 8 w l$ed into the g r ge, 8 w s shoc$ed to see the red bi$e st nding &p, loo$ing li$e "otorcycle r ther th n pile o* J gged "et l. L7 $e, yo&Fre " Iing,L 8 bre thed. #e l &ghed g in. L8 get obsessive when 8 h ve proJect.L #e shr&gged. L8* 8 h d ny br ins 8Fd dr g it o&t little bit.L L-hyKL #e loo$ed down, p &sing *or so long th t 8 wondered i* he h dnFt he rd "y H&estion. /in lly, he s$ed "e, LBell , i* 8 told yo& th t 8 co&ldnFt *ix these bi$es, wh t wo&ld yo& s yKL 8 didnFt nswer right w y, either, nd he gl nced &p to chec$ "y expression. L8 wo&ld s yN th tFs too b d, b&t 8Fll bet we co&ld *ig&re o&t so"ething else to do. 8* we got re lly desper te, we co&ld even do ho"ewor$.L 7 cob s"iled, nd his sho&lders rel xed. #e s t down next to the bi$e nd pic$ed &p wrench. LSo yo& thin$ yo&Fll still co"e over when 8F" done, thenKL
L8s th t wh t yo& "e ntKL 8 shoo$ "y he d. L8 g&ess 8 am t $ing dv nt ge o* yo&r very &nderpriced "ech nic l s$ills. B&t s long s yo& let "e co"e over, 8Fll be here.L L#oping to see A&il g inKL he te sed. L+o& c &ght "e.L #e ch&c$led. L+o& re lly li$e spending ti"e with "eKL he s$ed, " rveling. L,ery, very "&ch. And 8Fll prove it. 8 h ve to wor$ to"orrow, b&t -ednesd y weFll do so"ething non"ech nic l.L LLi$e wh tKL L8 h ve no ide . -e c n go to "y pl ce so yo& wonFt be te"pted to be obsessive. +o& co&ld bring yo&r schoolwor$3yo& h ve to be getting behind, bec &se 8 $now 8 ".L L#o"ewor$ "ight be good ide .L #e " de * ce, nd 8 wondered how "&ch he w s le ving &ndone to be with "e. L+es,L 8 greed. L-eFll h ve to st rt being responsible occ sion lly, or Billy nd !h rlie renFt going to be so e sygoing bo&t this.L 8 " de gest&re indic ting the two o* &s s single entity. #e li$ed th t3he be "ed. L#o"ewor$ once wee$KL he proposed. LM ybe weFd better go with twice,L 8 s&ggested, thin$ing o* the pile 8Fd J&st been ssigned tod y. #e sighed he vy sigh. Then he re ched over his toolbox to p per grocery s c$. #e p&lled o&t two c ns o* sod , cr c$ing one open nd h nding it to "e. #e opened the second, nd held it &p cere"onio&sly. L#ereFs to responsibility,L he to sted. LTwice wee$.L LAnd rec$lessness every d y in between,L 8 e"ph siIed. #e grinned nd to&ched his c n to "ine.
8 got ho"e l ter th n 8Fd pl nned nd *o&nd !h rlie h d ordered piII r ther th n w it *or "e. #e wo&ldnFt let "e pologiIe. L8 donFt "ind,L he ss&red "e. L+o& deserve bre $ *ro" ll the coo$ing, nyw y.L 8 $new he w s J&st relieved th t 8 w s still cting li$e nor" l person, nd he w s not bo&t to roc$ the bo t. 8 chec$ed "y e6" il be*ore 8 st rted on "y ho"ewor$, nd there w s long one *ro" Benee. She g&shed over every det il 8Fd provided her with, so 8 sent b c$ nother exh &stive description o* "y d y. 0verything b&t the "otorcycles. 0ven h ppy6go6l&c$y Benee w s li$ely to be l r"ed by th t.
School T&esd y h d its &ps nd downs. Angel nd Mi$e see"ed re dy to welco"e "e b c$ with open r"s3to $indly overloo$ "y *ew "onths o* berr nt beh vior. 7ess w s "ore resist nt. 8 wondered i* she needed *or" l written pology *or the ?ort Angeles incident. Mi$e w s ni" ted nd ch tty t wor$. 8t w s li$e heFd stored &p the se"esterFs worth o* t l$, nd it w s ll spilling o&t now. 8 *o&nd th t 8 w s ble to s"ile nd l &gh with hi", tho&gh it w snFt s e**ortless s it w s with 7 cob. 8t see"ed h r"less eno&gh, &ntil H&itting ti"e. Mi$e p&t the closed sign in the window while 8 *olded "y vest nd shoved it &nder the co&nter. LThis w s *&n tonight,L Mi$e s id h ppily. L+e h,L 8 greed, tho&gh 8Fd "&ch r ther h ve spent the *ternoon in the g r ge. L8tFs too b d th t yo& h d to le ve the "ovie e rly l st wee$.L 8 w s little con*&sed by his tr in o* tho&ght. 8 shr&gged. L8F" J&st wi"p, 8 g&ess.L L-h t 8 "e n is, yo& sho&ld go to better "ovie, so"ething yo&Fd enJoy,L he expl ined. LEh,L 8 "&ttered, still con*&sed. LLi$e " ybe this /rid y. -ith "e. -e co&ld go see so"ething th t isnFt sc ry t ll.L 8 bit "y lip. 8 didnFt w nt to screw things &p with Mi$e, not when he w s one o* the only people re dy to *orgive "e *or being cr Iy. B&t this, g in, *elt * r too * "ili r. Li$e the l st ye r h d never h ppened. 8 wished 8 h d 7ess s n exc&se this ti"e. LLi$e d teKL 8 s$ed. #onesty w s prob bly the best policy t this point. %et it over with. #e processed the tone o* "y voice L8* yo& w nt. B&t it doesnFt h ve to be li$e th t.L L8 donFt d te,L 8 s id slowly, re liIing how tr&e th t w s. Th t whole world see"ed i"possibly dist nt. L7&st s *riendsKL he s&ggested. #is cle r bl&e eyes were not s e ger now. 8 hoped he re lly "e nt th t we co&ld be *riends nyw y. LTh t wo&ld be *&n. B&t 8 ct& lly h ve pl ns lre dy this /rid y, so " ybe next wee$KL L-h t re yo& doingKL he s$ed, less c s& lly th n 8 thin$ he w nted to so&nd. L#o"ewor$. 8 h ve N st&dy session pl nned with *riend.L LEh. E$ y. M ybe next wee$.L #e w l$ed "e to "y c r, less ex&ber nt th n be*ore. 8t re"inded "e so cle rly o* "y *irst "onths in /or$s. 8Fd co"e *&ll circle, nd now everything *elt li$e n echo3 n e"pty echo, devoid o* the interest it &sed to h ve.
The next night, !h rlie didnFt see" the s" llest bit s&rprised to *ind 7 cob nd "e spr wled cross the living roo" *loor with o&r boo$s sc ttered ro&nd &s, so 8 g&essed th t he nd Billy were t l$ing behind o&r b c$s. L#ey, $ids,L he s id, his eyes str ying to the $itchen. The s"ell o* the l s gn 8Fd spent the *ternoon " $ing3while 7 cob w tched nd occ sion lly s "pled3w *ted down the h llG 8 w s being good, trying to tone *or ll the piII . 7 cob st yed *or dinner, nd too$ pl te ho"e *or Billy. #e gr&dgingly dded nother ye r to "y negoti ble ge *or being good coo$. /rid y w s the g r ge, nd S t&rd y, *ter "y shi*t t NewtonFs, w s ho"ewor$ g in. !h rlie *elt sec&re eno&gh in "y s nity to spend the d y *ishing with # rry. -hen he got b c$, we were ll done3*eeling very sensible nd " t&re bo&t it, too3 nd w tching Monster #arage on the Discovery !h nnel. L8 prob bly o&ght to go.L 7 cob sighed. L8tFs l ter th n 8 tho&ght.L LE$ y, *ine,L 8 gr&"bled. L8Fll t $e yo& ho"e.L #e l &ghed t "y &nwilling expression3it see"ed to ple se hi". LTo"orrow, b c$ to wor$,L 8 s id s soon s we were s *e in the tr&c$. L-h t ti"e do yo& w nt "e to co"e &pKL There w s n &nexpl ined excite"ent in his nswering s"ile. L8Fll c ll yo& *irst, o$ yKL LS&re.L 8 *rowned to "ysel*, wondering wh t w s &p. #is s"ile widened. 8 cle ned the ho&se the next "orning3w iting *or 7 cob to c ll nd trying to sh $e o** the Litest night" re. The scenery h d ch nged. L st night 8Fd w ndered in wide se o* *erns interspersed with h&ge he"loc$ trees. There w s nothing else there, nd 8 w s lost, w ndering i"less nd lone, se rching *or nothing. 8 w nted to $ic$ "ysel* *or the st&pid *ield trip l st wee$. 8 shoved the dre " o&t o* "y conscio&s "ind, hoping it wo&ld st y loc$ed &p so"ewhere nd not esc pe g in. !h rlie w s o&tside w shing the cr&iser, so when the phone r ng, 8 dropped the toilet br&sh nd r n downst irs to nswer it. L#elloKL 8 s$ed bre thlessly. LBell ,L 7 cob s id, str nge, *or" l tone to his voice. L#ey, 7 $e.L L8 believe th tN we h ve date, he s id, his tone thic$ with i"plic tions. 8t too$ "e second be*ore 8 got it. LTheyFre doneK 8 c nFt believe itML -h t per*ect ti"ing. 8 needed so"ething to distr ct "e *ro" night" res nd nothingness. L+e h, they r&n nd everything.L
L7 cob, yo& re bsol&tely, witho&t do&bt, the "ost t lented nd wonder*&l person 8 $now. +o& get ten ye rs *or this one.L L!oolM 8F" "iddle6 ged now.L 8 l &ghed. L8F" on "y w y &pML 8 threw the cle ning s&pplies &nder the b throo" co&nter nd gr bbed "y J c$et. L#e ded to see 7 $e,L !h rlie s id when 8 r n p st hi". 8t w snFt re lly H&estion. L+ep,L 8 replied s 8 J&"ped in "y tr&c$. L8Fll be t the st tion l ter,L !h rlie c lled *ter "e. LE$ y,L 8 yelled b c$, t&rning the $ey. !h rlie s id so"ething else, b&t 8 co&ldnFt he r hi" cle rly over the ro r o* the engine. 8t so&nded sort o* li$e, L-hereFs the *ireKL 8 p r$ed "y tr&c$ o** to the side o* the Bl c$sF ho&se, close to the trees, to " $e it e sier *or &s to sne $ the bi$es o&t. -hen 8 got o&t, spl sh o* color c &ght "y eye3two shiny "otorcycles, one red, one bl c$, were hidden &nder spr&ce, invisible *ro" the ho&se. 7 cob w s prep red. There w s piece o* bl&e ribbon tied in s" ll bow ro&nd e ch o* the h ndleb rs. 8 w s l &ghing t th t when 7 cob r n o&t o* the ho&se. LBe dyKL he s$ed in low voice, his eyes sp r$ling. 8 gl nced over his sho&lder, nd there w s no sign o* Billy. L+e h,L 8 s id, b&t 8 didnFt *eel H&ite s excited s be*oreG 8 w s trying to i" gine "ysel* ct& lly on the "otorcycle. 7 cob lo ded the bi$es into the bed o* the tr&c$ with e se, l ying the" c re*&lly on their sides so they didnFt show. LLetFs go,L he s id, his voice higher th n &s& l with excite"ent. L8 $now the per*ect spot3no one will c tch &s there.L -e drove so&th o&t o* town. The dirt ro d wove in nd o&t o* the *orest3so"eti"es there w s nothing b&t trees, nd then there wo&ld s&ddenly be bre tht $ing gli"pse o* the ? ci*ic Ece n, re ching to the horiIon, d r$ gr y &nder the clo&ds. -e were bove the shore, on top o* the cli**s th t bordered the be ch here nd the view see"ed to stretch on *orever. 8 w s driving slowly, so th t 8 co&ld s *ely st re o&t cross the oce n now nd then, s the ro d wo&nd closer to the se cli**s. 7 cob w s t l$ing bo&t *inishing the bi$es, b&t his descriptions were getting technic l, so 8 w snFt p ying close ttention. Th t w s when 8 noticed *o&r *ig&res st nding on roc$y ledge, "&ch too close to the precipice. 8 co&ldnFt tell *ro" the dist nce how old they were, b&t 8 ss&"ed they were "en. Despite the chill in the ir tod y, they see"ed to be we ring only shorts.
As 8 w tched, the t llest person stepped closer to the brin$. 8 slowed &to" tic lly, "y *oot hesit ting over the br $e ped l. And then he threw hi"sel* o** the edge. LNoML 8 sho&ted, sto"ping down on the br $e. L-h tFs wrongKL 7 cob sho&ted b c$, l r"ed. LTh t g&y3he J&st %umped o** the cliffM -hy didnFt they stop hi"K -eFve got to c ll n "b&l nceML 8 threw open "y door nd st rted to get o&t, which " de no sense t ll. The * stest w y to phone w s to drive b c$ to BillyFs. B&t 8 co&ldnFt believe wh t 8Fd J&st seen. M ybe, s&bconscio&sly, 8 hoped 8 wo&ld see so"ething di**erent witho&t the gl ss o* the windshield in the w y. 7 cob l &ghed, nd 8 sp&n to st re t hi" wildly. #ow co&ld he be so c llo&sed, so cold6bloodedK LTheyFre J&st cli** diving, Bell . Becre tion. L ?&sh doesnFt h ve " ll, yo& $now.L #e w s te sing, b&t there w s str nge note o* irrit tion in his voice. L!li** divingKL 8 repe ted, d Ied. 8 st red in disbelie* s second *ig&re stepped to the edge, p &sed, nd then very gr ce*&lly le ped into sp ce. #e *ell *or wh t see"ed li$e n eternity to "e, *in lly c&tting s"oothly into the d r$ gr y w ves below. L-ow. 8tFs so high.L 8 slid b c$ into "y se t, still st ring wide6eyed t the two re" ining divers. L8t "&st be h&ndred *eet.L L-ell, ye h, "ost o* &s J&"p *ro" lower down, th t roc$ th t J&ts o&t *ro" the cli** bo&t h l*w y.L #e pointed o&t his window. The pl ce he indic ted did see" "&ch "ore re son ble. LThose g&ys re ins ne. ?rob bly showing o** how to&gh they re. 8 "e n, re lly, itFs *reeIing tod y. Th t w ter c nFt *eel good.L #e " de disgr&ntled * ce, s i* the st&nt person lly o**ended hi". 8t s&rprised "e little. 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght 7 cob w s ne rly i"possible to &pset. L.ou J&"p o** the cli**KL 8 h dnFt "issed the L&s.L LS&re, s&re.L #e shr&gged nd grinned. L8tFs *&n. A little sc ry, $ind o* r&sh.L 8 loo$ed b c$ t the cli**s, where the third *ig&re w s p cing the edge. 8Fd never witnessed nything so rec$less in ll "y li*e. My eyes widened, nd 8 s"iled. L7 $e, yo& h ve to t $e "e cli** diving.L #e *rowned b c$ t "e, his * ce dis pproving. LBell , yo& J&st w nted to c ll n "b&l nce *or S ",L he re"inded "e. 8 w s s&rprised th t he co&ld tell who it w s *ro" this dist nce. L8 w nt to try,L 8 insisted, st rt ing to get o&t o* the c r g in. 7 cob gr bbed "y wrist. LNot tod y, ll rightK ! n we t le st w it *or w r"er d yKL LE$ y, *ine,L 8 greed. -ith the door open, the gl ci l breeIe w s r ising goose b&"ps on "y r". LB&t 8 w nt to go soon.L LSoon.L #e rolled his eyes. LSo"eti"es yo&Fre little str nge, Bell . Do yo& $now th tKL
8 sighed. L+es.L LAnd weFre not J&"ping o** the top.L 8 w tched, * scin ted, s the third boy " de r&nning st rt nd *l&ng hi"sel* * rther into the e"pty ir th n the other two. #e twisted nd c rtwheeled thro&gh sp ce s he *ell, li$e he w s s$ydiving. #e loo$ed bsol&tely *ree3&nthin$ing nd &tterly irresponsible. L/ine,L 8 greed. LNot the *irst ti"e, nyw y.L Now 7 cob sighed. LAre we going to try o&t the bi$es or notKL he de" nded. LE$ y, o$ y,L 8 s id, te ring "y eyes w y *ro" the l st person w iting on the cli**. 8 p&t "y se t belt b c$ on nd closed the door. The engine w s still r&nning, ro ring s it idled. -e st rted down the ro d g in. LSo who were those g&ys3the cr Iy onesKL 8 wondered. #e " de disg&sted so&nd in the b c$ o* his thro t. LThe L ?&sh g ng.L L+o& h ve g ngKL 8 s$ed. 8 re liIed th t 8 so&nded i"pressed. #e l &ghed once t "y re ction. LNot li$e th t. 8 swe r, theyFre li$e h ll "onitors gone b d. They donFt st rt *ights, they $eep the pe ce.L #e snorted. LThere w s this g&y *ro" &p so"ewhere by the M $ h reI, big g&y too, sc ry6loo$ing. -ell, word got ro&nd th t he w s selling "eth to $ids, nd S " 'ley nd his disciples r n hi" o** o&r l nd. TheyFre ll bo&t our land, nd tribe prideN itFs getting ridic&lo&s. The worst p rt is th t the co&ncil t $es the" serio&sly. 0"bry s id th t the co&ncil ct& lly "eets with S ".L #e shoo$ his he d, * ce *&ll o* resent"ent. L0"bry lso he rd *ro" Le h !le rw ter th t they c ll the"selves FprotectorsF or so"ething li$e th t.L 7 cobFs h nds were clenched into *ists, s i* heFd li$e to hit so"ething. 8Fd never seen this side o* hi". 8 w s s&rprised to he r S " 'leyFs n "e. 8 didnFt w nt it to bring b c$ the i" ges *ro" "y night" re, so 8 " de H&ic$ observ tion to distr ct "ysel*. L+o& donFt li$e the" very "&ch.L LDoes it showKL he s$ed s rc stic lly. L-ellN 8t doesnFt so&nd li$e theyFre doing nything b d.L 8 tried to soothe hi", to " $e hi" cheer*&l g in. L7&st sort o* nnoyingly goody6two6shoes *or g ng.L L+e h. Annoying is good word. TheyFre lw ys showing o**3li$e the cli** thing. They ct li$eN li$e, 8 donFt $now. Li$e to&gh g&ys. 8 w s h nging o&t t the store with 0"bry nd A&il once, l st se"ester, nd S " c "e by with his follo ers, 7 red nd ? &l. A&il s id so"ething, yo& $now how heFs got big "o&th, nd it pissed ? &l o**. #is eyes got ll d r$, nd he sort o* s"iled3no, he showed his teeth b&t he didnFt s"ile3 nd it w s li$e he w s so " d he w s sh $ing or so"ething. B&t S " p&t his h nd g inst ? &lFs chest nd shoo$ his he d. ? &l loo$ed t hi" *or "in&te nd c l"ed down. #onestly, it w s li$e S " w s holding hi" b c$3li$e ? &l w s going to te r &s &p i* S " didnFt stop hi".L #e gro ned. LLi$e b d western. +o&
$now, S "Fs pretty big g&y, heFs twenty. B&t ? &lFs J&st sixteen, too, shorter th n "e nd not s bee*y s A&il. 8 thin$ ny one o* &s co&ld t $e hi".L LTo&gh g&ys,L 8 greed. 8 co&ld see it in "y he d s he described it, nd it re"inded "e o* so"ethingN trio o* t ll, d r$ "en st nding very still nd close together in "y * therFs living roo". The pict&re w s sidew ys, bec &se "y he d w s lying g inst the co&ch while Dr. %er ndy nd !h rlie le ned over "eN # d th t been S "Fs g ngK 8 spo$e H&ic$ly g in to divert "ysel* *ro" the ble $ "e"ories. L8snFt S " little too old *or this $ind o* thingKL L+e h. #e w s s&pposed to go to college, b&t he st yed. And no one g ve hi" ny cr p bo&t it, either. The whole co&ncil pitched *it when "y sister t&rned down p rti l schol rship nd got " rried. B&t, oh no, S " 'ley c n do no wrong.L #is * ce w s set in &n* "ili r lines o* o&tr ge3o&tr ge nd so"ething else 8 didnFt recogniIe t *irst. L8t ll so&nds re lly nnoying ndN str nge. B&t 8 donFt get why yo&Fre t $ing it so person lly.L 8 pee$ed over t his * ce, hoping 8 h dnFt o**ended hi". #e w s s&ddenly c l", st ring o&t the side window. L+o& J&st "issed the t&rn,L he s id in n even voice. 8 exec&ted very wide '6t&rn, ne rly hitting tree s "y circle r n the tr&c$ h l*w y o** the ro d. LTh n$s *or the he ds6&p,L 8 "&ttered s 8 st rted &p the side ro d. LSorry, 8 w snFt p ying ttention.L 8t w s H&iet *or brie* "in&te. L+o& c n stop nywhere long here,L he s id so*tly. 8 p&lled over nd c&t the engine. My e rs r ng in the silence th t *ollowed. -e both got o&t, nd 7 cob he ded ro&nd to the b c$ to get the bi$es. 8 tried to re d his expression. So"ething "ore w s bothering hi". 8Fd hit nerve. #e s"iled h l*he rtedly s he p&shed the red bi$e to "y side. L# ppy l te birthd y. Are yo& re dy *or thisKL L8 thin$ so.L The bi$e s&ddenly loo$ed inti"id ting, *rightening, s 8 re liIed 8 wo&ld soon be stride it. L-eFll t $e it slow,L he pro"ised. 8 gingerly le ned the "otorcycle g inst the tr&c$Fs *ender while he went to get his. L7 $eNL8 hesit ted s he c "e b c$ ro&nd the tr&c$. L+e hKL
L-h tFs re lly bothering yo&K Abo&t the S " thing, 8 "e nK 8s there so"ething elseKL 8 w tched his * ce. #e gri" ced, b&t he didnFt see" ngry. #e loo$ed t the dirt nd $ic$ed his shoe g inst the *ront tire o* his bi$e g in nd g in, li$e he w s $eeping ti"e. #e sighed. L8tFs J&stN the w y they tre t "e. 8t creeps "e o&t.L The words st rted to r&sh o&t now. L+o& $now, the co&ncil is s&pposed to be " de &p o* eH& ls, b&t i* there w s le der, it wo&ld be "y d d. 8Fve never been ble to *ig&re o&t why people tre t hi" the w y they do. -hy his opinion co&nts the "ost. 8tFs got so"ething to do with his * ther nd his * therFs * ther. My gre t6gr ndp , 0phr i" Bl c$, w s sort o* the l st chie* we h d, nd they still listen to Billy, " ybe bec &se o* th t. LB&t 8F" J&st li$e everyone else. Nobody tre ts me speci lN &ntil now.L Th t c &ght "e o** g& rd. LS " tre ts yo& speci lKL L+e h,L he greed, loo$ing &p t "e with tro&bled eyes. L#e loo$s t "e li$e heFs w iting *or so"ethingN li$e 8F" going to Join his st&pid g ng so"ed y. #e p ys "ore ttention to "e th n ny o* the other g&ys. 8 h te it.L L+o& donFt h ve to Join nything.L My voice w s ngry. This w s re lly &psetting 7 cob, nd th t in*&ri ted "e. -ho did these LprotectorsL thin$ they wereK L+e h.L #is *oot $ept &p its rhyth" g inst the tire. L-h tKL 8 co&ld tell there w s "ore. #e *rowned, his eyebrows p&lling &p in w y th t loo$ed s d nd worried r ther th n ngry. L8tFs 0"bry. #eFs been voiding "e l tely.L The tho&ghts didnFt see" connected, b&t 8 wondered i* 8 w s to bl "e *or the proble"s with his *riend. L+o&Fve been h nging o&t with "e lot,L 8 re"inded hi", *eeling sel*ish. 8Fd been "onopoliIing hi". LNo, th tFs not it. 8tFs not J&st "e3itFs A&il, too, nd everyone. 0"bry "issed wee$ o* school, b&t he w s never ho"e when we tried to see hi". And when he c "e b c$, he loo$edN he loo$ed *re $ed o&t. Terri*ied. A&il nd 8 both tried to get hi" to tell &s wh t w s wrong, b&t he wo&ldnFt t l$ to either one o* &s.L 8 st red t 7 cob, biting "y lip nxio&sly3he w s re lly *rightened. B&t he didnFt loo$ t "e. #e w tched his own *oot $ic$ing the r&bber s i* it belonged to so"eone else. The te"po incre sed. LThen this wee$, o&t o* nowhere, 0"bryFs h nging o&t with S " nd the rest o* the". #e w s o&t on the cli**s tod y.L #is voice w s low nd tense. #e *in lly loo$ed t "e. LBell , they b&gged hi" even "ore th n they bother "e. #e didnFt w nt nything to do with the". And now 0"bryFs *ollowing S " ro&nd li$e heFs Joined c&lt. LAnd th tFs the w y it w s with ? &l. 7&st ex ctly the s "e. #e w snFt *riends with S " t ll. Then he stopped co"ing to school *or *ew wee$s, nd, when he c "e b c$, s&ddenly S " owned hi". 8 donFt $now wh t it "e ns. 8 c nFt *ig&re it o&t, nd 8 *eel li$e 8 h ve to, bec &se 0"bryFs "y *riend ndN S "Fs loo$ing t "e *&nny . . ndNL #e tr iled o**.
L# ve yo& t l$ed to Billy bo&t thisKL 8 s$ed. #is horror w s spre ding to "e. 8 h d chills r&nning on the b c$ o* "y nec$. Now there w s nger on his * ce. L+es,L he snorted. LTh t w s help*&l.L L-h t did he s yKL 7 cobFs expression w s s rc stic, nd when he spo$e, his voice "oc$ed the deep tones o* his * therFs voice. L8tFs nothing yo& need to worry bo&t now, 7 cob. 8n *ew ye rs, i* yo& donFtN well, 8Fll expl in l ter.L And then his voice w s his own. L-h t " 8 s&pposed to get *ro" th tK 8s he trying to s y itFs so"e st&pid p&berty, co"ing6o*6 ge thingK This is so"ething else. So"ething wrong.L #e w s biting his lower lip nd clenching his h nds. #e loo$ed li$e he w s bo&t to cry. 8 threw "y r"s ro&nd hi" instinctively, wr pping the" ro&nd his w ist nd pressing "y * ce g inst his chest. #e w s so big, 8 *elt li$e 8 w s child h&gging grown6&p. LEh, 7 $e, itFll be o$ yML 8 pro"ised. L8* it gets worse yo& c n co"e live with "e nd !h rlie. DonFt be sc red, weFll thin$ o* so"ethingML #e w s *roIen *or second, nd then his long r"s wr pped hesit ntly ro&nd "e. LTh n$s, Bell .L #is voice w s h&s$ier th n &s& l. -e stood li$e th t *or "o"ent, nd it didnFt &pset "eG in * ct, 8 *elt co"*orted by the cont ct. This didnFt *eel nything li$e the l st ti"e so"eone h d e"br ced "e this w y. This w s *riendship. And 7 cob w s very w r". 8t w s str nge *or "e, being this close3e"otion lly r ther th n physic lly, tho&gh the physic l w s str nge *or "e, too3to nother h&" n being. 8t w snFt "y &s& l style. 8 didnFt nor" lly rel te to people so e sily, on s&ch b sic level. Not h&" n beings. L8* this is how yo&Fre going to re ct, 8Fll *re $ o&t "ore o*ten.L 7 cobFs voice w s light, nor" l g in, nd his l &ghter r&"bled g inst "y e r. #is *ingers to&ched "y h ir, so*t nd tent tive. -ell, it w s *riendship *or "e. 8 p&lled w y H&ic$ly, l &ghing with hi", b&t deter"ined to p&t things b c$ in perspective t once. L8tFs h rd to believe 8F" two ye rs older th n yo&,L 8 s id, e"ph siIing the word older. L+o& " $e "e *eel li$e dw r*.L St nding this close to hi", 8 re lly h d to cr ne "y nec$ to see his * ce. L+o&Fre *orgetting 8F" in "y *orties, o* co&rse.L LEh, th tFs right.L #e p tted "y he d. L+o&Fre li$e little doll,L he te sed. LA porcel in doll.L
8 rolled "y eyes, t $ing nother step w y. LLetFs not st rt with the lbino cr c$s.L LSerio&sly, Bell , re yo& s&re yo&Fre notKL #e stretched his r&sset r" o&t next to "ine. The di**erence w snFt *l ttering. L8Fve never seen nyone p ler th n yo&N well, except *or3L #e bro$e o**, nd 8 loo$ed w y, trying to not &nderst nd wh t he h d been bo&t to s y. LSo re we going to ride or wh tKL LLetFs do it,L 8 greed, "ore enth&si stic th n 8 wo&ld h ve been h l* "in&te go. #is &n*inished sentence re"inded "e o* why 8 w s here.
. ADRENA!INE
LECA+, -#0B0FS +E'B !L'T!#KL 8 pointed to the lever on "y le*t h ndleb r. Letting go o* the grip w s "ist $e. The he vy bi$e wobbled &nderne th "e, thre tening to $noc$ "e sidewise. 8 gr bbed the h ndle g in, trying to hold it str ight. L7 cob, it wonFt st y &p,L 8 co"pl ined. L8t will when yo&Fre "oving,L he pro"ised. LNow whereFs yo&r br $eKL LBehind "y right *oot.L L-rong.L #e gr bbed "y right h nd nd c&rled "y *ingers ro&nd the lever over the throttle. LB&t yo& s id3L LThis is the br $e yo& w nt. DonFt &se the b c$ br $e now, th tFs *or l ter, when yo& $now wh t yo&Fre doing.L LTh t doesnFt so&nd right,L 8 s id s&spicio&sly. LArenFt both br $es $ind o* i"port ntKL L/orget the b c$ br $e, o$ yK #ere3L #e wr pped his h nd ro&nd "ine nd " de "e sH&eeIe the lever down. LThat is how yo& br $e. DonFt *orget.L #e sH&eeIed "y h nd nother ti"e. L/ine,L 8 greed. LThrottleKL 8 twisted the right grip. L%e rshi*tKL 8 n&dged it with "y le*t c l*.
L,ery good. 8 thin$ yo&Fve got ll the p rts down. Now yo& J&st h ve to get it "oving.L L'h6h&h,L 8 "&ttered, *r id to s y "ore. My sto" ch w s contorting str ngely nd 8 tho&ght "y voice "ight cr c$. 8 w s terri*ied. 8 tried to tell "ysel* th t the *e r w s pointless. 8Fd lre dy lived thro&gh the worst thing possible. 8n co"p rison with th t, why sho&ld nything *righten "e nowK 8 sho&ld be ble to loo$ de th in the * ce nd l &gh. My sto" ch w snFt b&ying it. 8 st red down the long stretch o* dirt ro d, bordered by thic$ "isty green on every side. The ro d w s s ndy nd d "p. Better th n "&d. L8 w nt yo& to hold down the cl&tch,L 7 cob instr&cted. 8 wr pped "y *ingers ro&nd the cl&tch. LNow this is cr&ci l, Bell ,L 7 cob stressed. LDonFt let go o* th t, o$ yK 8 w nt yo& to pretend th t 8Fve h nded yo& live gren de. The pin is o&t nd yo& re holding down the spoon.L 8 sH&eeIed tighter. L%ood. Do yo& thin$ yo& c n $ic$6st rt itKL L8* 8 "ove "y *oot, 8 will * ll over,L 8 told hi" thro&gh gritted teeth, "y *ingers tight ro&nd "y live gren de. LE$ y, 8Fll do it. DonFt let go o* the cl&tch.L #e too$ step b c$, nd then s&ddenly sl ""ed his *oot down on the ped l. There w s short ripping noise, nd the *orce o* his thr&st roc$ed the bi$e. 8 st rted to * ll sidew ys, b&t 7 $e c &ght the bi$e be*ore it $noc$ed "e to the gro&nd. LSte dy there,L he enco&r ged. LDo yo& still h ve the cl&tchKL L+es,L 8 g sped. L?l nt yo&r feet38F" going to try g in.L B&t he p&t his h nd on the b c$ o* the se t, too, J&st to be s *e. 8t too$ *o&r "ore $ic$s be*ore the ignition c &ght. 8 co&ld *eel the bi$e r&"bling bene th "e li$e n ngry ni" l. 8 gripped the cl&tch &ntil "y *ingers ched. LTry o&t the throttle,L he s&ggested. L,ery lightly. And donFt let go o* the cl&tch.L #esit ntly, 8 twisted the right h ndle. Tho&gh the "ove"ent w s tiny, the bi$e sn rled bene th "e. 8t so&nded ngry and h&ngry now. 7 cob s"iled in deep s tis* ction. LDo yo& re"e"ber how to p&t it into *irst ge rKL he s$ed. L+es.L L-ell, go he d nd do it.L
LE$ y.L #e w ited *or *ew seconds. LLe*t *oot,L he pro"pted. L8 kno ,L 8 s id, t $ing deep bre th. LAre yo& s&re yo& w nt to do thisKL 7 cob s$ed. L+o& loo$ sc red.L L8F" *ine,L 8 sn pped. 8 $ic$ed the ge rshi*t down one notch. L,ery good,L he pr ised "e. LNow, very gently, e se &p on the cl&tch.L #e too$ step w y *ro" the bi$e. L+o& w nt "e to let go o* the gren deKL 8 s$ed in disbelie*. No wonder he w s "oving b c$. LTh tFs how yo& "ove, Bell . 7&st do it little by little.L As 8 beg n to loosen "y grip, 8 w s shoc$ed to be interr&pted by voice th t did not belong to the boy st nding next to "e. LThis is rec$less nd childish nd idiotic, Bell ,L the velvet voice *&"ed. LEhML 8 g sped, nd "y h nd *ell o** the cl&tch. The bi$e b&c$ed &nder "e, y n$ing "e *orw rd nd then coll psing to the gro&nd h l* on top o* "e. The growling engine cho$ed to stop. LBell KL 7 cob Jer$ed the he vy bi$e o** "e with e se. LAre yo& h&rtKL B&t 8 w snFt listening. L8 told yo& so,L the per*ect voice "&r"&red, cryst l cle r. LBell KL 7 cob shoo$ "y sho&lder. L8F" *ine,L 8 "&"bled, d Ied. More th n *ine. The voice in "y he d w s b c$. 8t still r ng in "y e rs3so*t, velvety echoes. My "ind r n swi*tly thro&gh the possibilities. There w s no * "ili rity here3on ro d 8Fd never seen, doing so"ething 8Fd never done be*ore3no deJ v& So the h ll&cin tions "&st be triggered by so"ething elseN 8 *elt the dren line co&rsing thro&gh "y veins g in, nd 8 tho&ght 8 h d the nswer. So"e co"bin tion o* dren line nd d nger, or " ybe J&st st&pidity. 7 cob w s p&lling "e to "y *eet. LDid yo& hit yo&r he dKL he s$ed.
L8 donFt thin$ so.L 8 shoo$ it b c$ nd *orth, chec$ing. L8 didnFt h&rt the bi$e, did 8KL This tho&ght worried "e. 8 w s nxio&s to try g in, right w y. Being rec$less w s p ying o** better th n 8Fd tho&ght. /orget che ting. M ybe 8Fd *o&nd w y to gener te the h ll&cin tions3th t w s "&ch "ore i"port nt. LNo. +o& J&st st lled the engine,L 7 cob s id, interr&pting "y H&ic$ spec&l tions. L+o& let go o* the cl&tch too * st.L 8 nodded. LLetFs try g in.L LAre yo& s&reKL 7 cob s$ed. L?ositive.L This ti"e 8 tried to get the $ic$6st rt "ysel*. 8t w s co"plic tedG 8 h d to J&"p little to sl " down on the ped l with eno&gh *orce, nd every ti"e 8 did th t, the bi$e tried to $noc$ "e over. 7 cobFs h nd hovered over the h ndleb rs, re dy to c tch "e i* 8 needed hi". 8t too$ sever l good tries, nd even "ore poor tries, be*ore the engine c &ght nd ro red to li*e &nder "e. Be"e"bering to hold on to the gren de, 8 revved the throttle experi"ent lly. 8t sn rled t the slightest to&ch. My s"ile "irrored 7 cobFs now. L0 sy on the cl&tch,L he re"inded "e. LDo yo& ant to $ill yo&rsel*, thenK 8s th t wh t this is bo&tKL the other voice spo$e g in, his tone severe. 8 s"iled tightly3it w s still wor$ing3 nd ignored the H&estions. 7 cob w snFt going to let nything serio&s h ppen to "e. L%o ho"e to !h rlie,L the voice ordered. The sheer be &ty o* it " Ied "e. 8 co&ldnFt llow "y "e"ory to lose it, no " tter the price. L0 se o** slowly,L 7 cob enco&r ged "e. L8 will,L 8 s id. 8t bothered "e bit when 8 re liIed 8 w s nswering both o* the". The voice in "y he d growled g inst the ro r o* the "otorcycle. Trying to *oc&s this ti"e, to not let the voice st rtle "e g in, 8 rel xed "y h nd by tiny degrees. S&ddenly, the ge r c &ght nd wrenched "e *orw rd. And 8 w s *lying. There w s wind th t w snFt there be*ore, blowing "y s$in g inst "y s$&ll nd *linging "y h ir b c$ behind "e with eno&gh *orce th t it *elt li$e so"eone w s t&gging on it. 8Fd le*t "y sto" ch b c$ t the st rting pointG the dren line co&rsed thro&gh "y body, tingling in "y veins. The trees r ced p st "e, bl&rring into w ll o* green. B&t this w s only *irst ge r. My *oot itched tow rd the ge rshi*t s 8 twisted *or "ore g s. LNo, Bell ML the ngry, honey6sweet voice ordered in "y e r. L- tch wh t yo&Fre doingML
8t distr cted "e eno&gh *ro" the speed to re liIe th t the ro d w s st rting slow c&rve to the le*t, nd 8 w s still going str ight. 7 cob h dnFt told "e how to t&rn. LBr $es, br $es,L 8 "&ttered to "ysel*, nd 8 instinctively sl ""ed down with "y right *oot, li$e 8 wo&ld in "y tr&c$. The bi$e w s s&ddenly &nst ble &nderne th "e, shivering *irst to one side nd then the other. 8t w s dr gging "e tow rd the green w ll, nd 8 w s going too * st. 8 tried to t&rn the h ndleb r the other direction, nd the s&dden shi*t o* "y weight p&shed the bi$e tow rd the gro&nd, still spinning tow rd the trees. The "otorcycle l nded on top o* "e g in, ro ring lo&dly, p&lling "e cross the wet s nd &ntil it hit so"ething st tion ry. 8 co&ldnFt see. My * ce w s " shed into the "oss. 8 tried to li*t "y he d, b&t there w s so"ething in the w y. 8 w s diIIy nd con*&sed. 8t so&nded li$e there were three things sn rling3the bi$e over "e, the voice in "y he d, nd so"ething elseN LBell ML 7 cob yelled, nd 8 he rd the ro r o* the other bi$e c&t o**. The "otorcycle no longer pinned "e to the gro&nd, nd 8 rolled over to bre the. All the growling went silent. L-ow,L 8 "&r"&red. 8 w s thrilled. This h d to be it, the recipe *or h ll&cin tion3 dren line pl&s cl nger pl&s st&pidity. So"ething close to th t, nyw y. LBell ML 7 cob w s cro&ching over "e nxio&sly. LBell , re yo& liveKL L8F" gre tML 8 enth&sed. 8 *lexed "y r"s nd legs. 0verything see"ed to be wor$ing correctly. LLetFs do it g in.L L8 donFt thin$ so.L 7 cob still so&nded worried. L8 thin$ 8Fd better drive yo& to the hospit l *irst.L L8F" *ine.L L'", Bell K +o&Fve got h&ge c&t on yo&r *orehe d, nd itFs g&shing blood,L he in*or"ed "e. 8 cl pped "y h nd over "y he d. S&re eno&gh, it w s wet nd stic$y. 8 co&ld s"ell nothing b&t the d "p "oss on "y * ce, nd th t held o** the n &se . LEh, 8F" so sorry, 7 cob.L 8 p&shed h rd g inst the g sh, s i* 8 co&ld *orce the blood b c$ inside "y he d. L-hy re yo& pologiIing *or bleedingKL he wondered s he wr pped long r" ro&nd "y w ist nd p&lled "e to "y *eet. LLetFs go. 8Fll drive.L #e held o&t his h nd *or the $eys. L-h t bo&t the bi$esKL 8 s$ed, h nding the" over. #e tho&ght *or second. L- it here. And t $e this.L #e p&lled o** his T6shirt, lre dy spotted with blood, nd threw it to "e. 8 w dded it &p nd held it tightly to "y *orehe d. 8 w s st rting to s"ell the bloodG 8 bre thed deeply thro&gh "y "o&th nd tried to concentr te on so"ething else.
7 cob J&"ped on the bl c$ "otorcycle, $ic$ed it to st rt in one try, nd r ced b c$ down the ro d, spr ying s nd nd pebbles behind hi". #e loo$ed thletic nd pro*ession l s he le ned over the h ndleb rs, he d low, * ce *orw rd, his shiny h ir whipping g inst the r&sset s$in o* his b c$. My eyes n rrowed envio&sly. 8 w s s&re 8 h dnFt loo$ed li$e th t on "y "otorcycle. 8 w s s&rprised t how * r 8Fd gone. 8 co&ld b rely see 7 cob in the dist nce when he *in lly got to the tr&c$. #e threw the bi$e into the bed nd sprinted to the driverFs side. 8 re lly didnFt *eel b d t ll s he co xed "y tr&c$ to de *ening ro r in his h&rry to get b c$ to "e. My he d st&ng little, nd "y sto" ch w s &ne sy, b&t the c&t w snFt serio&s. #e d wo&nds J&st bled "ore th n "ost. #is &rgency w snFt necess ry. 7 cob le*t the tr&c$ r&nning s he r ced b c$ to "e, wr pping his r" ro&nd "y w ist g in. LE$ y, letFs get yo& in the tr&c$.L L8F" honestly *ine,L 8 ss&red hi" s he helped "e in. LDonFt get wor$ed &p. 8tFs J&st little blood.L L7&st lot o* blood,L 8 he rd hi" "&tter s he went b c$ *or "y bi$e. LNow, letFs thin$ bo&t this *or second,L 8 beg n when he got b c$ in. L8* yo& t $e "e to the 0B li$e this, !h rlie is s&re to he r bo&t it.L 8 gl nced down t the s nd nd dirt c $ed into "y Je ns. LBell , 8 thin$ yo& need stitches. 8F" not going to let yo& bleed to de th.L L8 wonFt,L 8 pro"ised. LLetFs J&st t $e the bi$es b c$ *irst, nd then weFll " $e stop t "y ho&se so 8 c n dispose o* the evidence be*ore we go to the hospit l.L L-h t bo&t !h rlieKL L#e s id he h d to wor$ tod y.L LAre yo& re lly s&reKL LTr&st "e. 8F" n e sy bleeder. 8tFs not ne rly s dire s it loo$s.L 7 cob w snFt h ppy3his *&ll "o&th t&rned down in n &nch r cteristic *rown3b&t he didnFt w nt to get "e in tro&ble. 8 st red o&t the window, holding his r&ined shirt to "y he d, while he drove "e to /or$s. The "otorcycle w s better th n 8Fd dre "ed. 8t h d served its origin l p&rpose. 8Fd che ted3 bro$en "y pro"ise. 8Fd been needlessly rec$less. 8 *elt little less p thetic now th t the pro"ises h d been bro$en on both sides. And then to discover the $ey to the h ll&cin tionsM At le st, 8 hoped 8 h d. 8 w s going to test the theory s soon s possible. M ybe theyFd get thro&gh with "e H&ic$ly in the 0B, nd 8 co&ld try g in tonight. B cing down the ro d li$e th t h d been " Iing. The *eel o* the wind in "y * ce, the speed nd the *reedo"N it re"inded "e o* p st li*e, *lying thro&gh the thic$ *orest witho&t ro d,
piggyb c$ while he r n38 stopped thin$ing right there, letting the "e"ory bre $ o** in the s&dden gony. 8 *linched. L+o& still o$ yKL 7 cob chec$ed. L+e h.L 8 tried to so&nd s convincing s be*ore. LBy the w y,L he dded. L8F" going to disconnect yo&r *oot br $e tonight.L At ho"e, 8 went to loo$ t "ysel* in the "irror *irst thingG it w s pretty gr&eso"e. Blood w s drying in thic$ stre $s cross "y chee$ nd nec$, " tting in "y "&ddy h ir. 8 ex "ined "ysel* clinic lly, pretending the blood w s p int so it wo&ldnFt &pset "y sto" ch. 8 bre thed thro&gh "y "o&th, nd w s *ine. 8 w shed &p s well s 8 co&ld. Then 8 hid "y dirty, bloody clothes in the botto" o* "y l &ndry b s$et, p&tting on new Je ns nd b&tton6&p shirt =th t 8 didnFt h ve to p&ll over "y he d5 s c re*&lly s 8 co&ld. 8 " n ged to do this one6h nded nd $eep both g r"ents blood6*ree. L#&rry &p,L 7 cob c lled. LE$ y, o$ y,L 8 sho&ted b c$. A*ter " $ing s&re 8 le*t nothing incri"in ting behind "e, 8 he ded downst irs. L#ow do 8 loo$KL 8 s$ed hi". LBetter,L he d"itted. LB&t do 8 loo$ li$e 8 tripped in yo&r g r ge nd hit "y he d on h ""erKL LS&re, 8 g&ess so.L LLetFs go then.L 7 cob h&rried "e o&t the door, nd insisted on driving g in. -e were h l*w y to the hospit l when 8 re liIed he w s still shirtless. 8 *rowned g&iltily. L-e sho&ld h ve gr bbed yo& J c$et.L LTh t wo&ld h ve given &s w y,L he te sed. LBesides, itFs not cold.L LAre yo& $iddingKL 8 shivered nd re ched o&t to t&rn the he t on. 8 w tched 7 cob to see i* he w s J&st pl ying to&gh so 8 wo&ldnFt worry, b&t he loo$ed co"*ort ble eno&gh. #e h d one r" over the b c$ o* "y se t, tho&gh 8 w s h&ddled &p to $eep w r". 7 cob re lly did loo$ older th n sixteen3not H&ite *orty, b&t " ybe older th n "e. A&il didnFt h ve too "&ch on hi" in the "&scle dep rt"ent, *or ll th t 7 cob cl i"ed to be s$eleton. The "&scles were the long wiry $ind, b&t they were de*initely there &nder the s"ooth s$in. #is s$in w s s&ch pretty color, it " de "e Je lo&s. 7 cob noticed "y scr&tiny.
L-h tKL he s$ed, s&ddenly sel*6conscio&s. LNothing. 8 J&st h dnFt re liIed be*ore. Did yo& $now, yo&Fre sort o* be &ti*&lKL Ence the words slipped o&t, 8 worried th t he "ight t $e "y i"p&lsive observ tion the wrong w y. B&t 7 cob J&st rolled his eyes. L+o& hit yo&r he d pretty h rd, didnFt yo&KL L8F" serio&s.L L-ell, then, th n$s. Sort o*.L 8 grinned. L+o&Fre sort o* welco"e.L 8 h d to h ve seven stitches to c lose the c&t on "y *orehe d. A*ter the sting o* the loc l nesthetic, there w s no p in in the proced&re. 7 cob held "y h nd while Dr. Snow w s sewing, nd 8 tried not to thin$ bo&t why th t w s ironic. -e were t the hospit l *orever. By the ti"e 8 w s done, 8 h d to drop 7 cob o** t his ho"e nd h&rry b c$ to coo$ dinner *or !h rlie. !h rlie see"ed to b&y "y story bo&t * lling in 7 cobFs g r ge. A*ter ll, it w snFt li$e 8 h dnFt been ble to l nd "ysel* in the 0B be*ore with no "ore help th n "y own *eet. This night w s not s b d s th t *irst night, *ter 8Fd he rd the per*ect voice in ?ort Angeles. The hole c "e b c$, the w y it lw ys did when 8 w s w y *ro" 7 cob, b&t it didnFt throb so b dly ro&nd the edges. 8 w s lre dy pl nning he d, loo$ing *orw rd to "ore del&sions, nd th t w s distr ction. Also, 8 $new 8 wo&ld *eel better to"orrow when 8 w s with 7 cob g in. Th t " de the e"pty hole nd the * "ili r p in e sier to be rG relie* w s in sight. The night" re, too, h d lost little o* its potency. 8 w s horri*ied by the nothingness, s lw ys, b&t 8 w s lso str ngely i"p tient s 8 w ited *or the "o"ent th t wo&ld send "e scre "ing into conscio&sness. 8 $new the night" re h d to end. The next -ednesd y, be*ore 8 co&ld get ho"e *ro" the 0B, Dr. %er ndy c lled to w rn "y * ther th t 8 "ight possibly h ve conc&ssion nd dvised hi" to w $e "e &p every two ho&rs thro&gh the night to " $e s&re it w snFt serio&s. !h rlieFs eyes n rrowed s&spicio&sly t "y we $ expl n tion bo&t tripping g in. LM ybe yo& sho&ld J&st st y o&t o* the g r ge ltogether, Bell ,L he s&ggested th t night d&ring dinner. 8 p nic$ed, worried th t !h rlie w s bo&t to l y down so"e $ind o* edict th t wo&ld prohibit L ?&sh, nd conseH&ently "y "otorcycle. And 8 w snFt giving it &p38Fd h d the "ost " Iing h ll&cin tion tod y. My velvet6voiced del&sion h d yelled t "e *or l"ost *ive "in&tes be*ore 8Fd hit the br $e too br&ptly nd l &nched "ysel* into the tree. 8Fd t $e wh tever p in th t wo&ld c &se "e tonight witho&t co"pl int. LThis didnFt h ppen in the g r ge,L 8 protested H&ic$ly. L-e were hi$ing, nd 8 tripped over roc$.L LSince when do yo& hi$eKL !h rlie s$ed s$eptic lly.
L-or$ing t NewtonFs w s bo&nd to r&b o** so"eti"e,L 8 pointed o&t. LSpend every d y selling ll the virt&es o* the o&tdoors, event& lly yo& get c&rio&s.L !h rlie gl red t "e, &nconvinced. L8Fll be "ore c re*&l,L 8 pro"ised, s&rreptitio&sly crossing "y *ingers &nder the t ble. L8 donFt "ind yo& hi$ing right there ro&nd L ?&sh, b&t $eep close to town, o$ yKL L-hyKL L-ell, weFve been getting lot o* wildli*e co"pl ints l tely. The *orestry dep rt"ent is going to chec$ into it, b&t *or the ti"e beingNL LEh, the big be r,L 8 s id with s&dden co"prehension. L+e h, so"e o* the hi$ers co"ing thro&gh NewtonFs h ve seen it. Do yo& thin$ thereFs re lly so"e gi nt "&t ted griIIly o&t thereKL #is *orehe d cre sed. LThereFs so"ething. Ceep it close to town, o$ yKL LS&re, s&re,L 8 s id H&ic$ly. #e didnFt loo$ co"pletely ppe sed. L!h rlieFs getting nosy,L 8 co"pl ined to 7 cob when 8 pic$ed hi" &p *ter school /rid y. LM ybe we sho&ld cool it with the bi$es.L #e s w "y obJecting expression nd dded, LAt le st *or wee$ or so. +o& co&ld st y o&t o* the hospit l *or wee$, rightKL L-h t re we going to doKL 8 griped. #e s"iled cheer*&lly. L-h t ever yo& w nt.L 8 tho&ght bo&t th t *or "in&te3 bo&t wh t 8 w nted. 8 h ted the ide o* losing even "y brie* seconds o* closeness with the "e"ories th t didnFt h&rt 3the ones th t c "e on their own, witho&t "e thin$ing o* the" conscio&sly. 8* 8 co&ldnFt h ve the bi$es, 8 w s going to h ve to *ind so"e other ven&e to the d nger nd the dren line, nd th t w s going to t $e serio&s tho&ght nd cre tivity. Doing nothing in the "e nti"e w s not ppe ling. S&ppose 8 got depressed g in, even with 7 $eK 8 h d to $eep occ&pied. M ybe there w s so"e other w y, so"e other recipeN so"e other pl ce. The ho&se h d been "ist $e, cert inly. B&t his presence "&st be st "ped so"ewhere, so"ewhere other th n inside "e. There h d to be pl ce where he see"ed "ore re l th n "ong ll the * "ili r l nd" r$s th t were crowded with other h&" n "e"ories. 8 co&ld thin$ o* one pl ce where th t "ight hold tr&e. Ene pl ce th t wo&ld lw ys belong to him nd no one else. A " gic pl ce, *&ll o* light. The be &ti*&l "e dow 8Fd seen only once in "y li*e, lit by s&nshine nd the sp r$le o* his s$in. This ide h d h&ge potenti l *or b c$*iring3it "ight be d ngero&sly p in*&l. My chest ched with e"ptiness even to thin$ o* it. 8t w s h rd to hold "ysel* &pright, to not give "ysel* w y. B&t s&rely, there o* ll pl ces, 8 co&ld he r his voice. And 8Fd lre dy told !h rlie 8 w s hi$ingN
L-h t re yo& thin$ing bo&t so h rdKL 7 cob s$ed. L-ellNL 8 beg n slowly. L8 *o&nd this pl ce in the *orest once38 c "e cross it when 8 w s, &", hi$ing. A little "e dow, the "ost be &ti*&l pl ce. 8 donFt $now i* 8 co&ld tr c$ it down g in on "y own. 8t wo&ld de*initely t $e *ew triesNL L-e co&ld &se co"p ss nd grid p ttern,L 7 cob s id with con*ident help*&lness. LDo yo& $now where yo& st rted *ro"KL L+es, J&st below the tr ilhe d where the one6ten ends. 8 w s going "ostly so&th, 8 thin$.L L!ool. -eFll *ind it.L As lw ys, 7 cob w s g "e *or nything 8 w nted. No " tter how str nge it w s. So, S t&rd y *ternoon, 8 tied on "y new hi$ing boots3p&rch sed th t "orning &sing "y twenty6per6cent6o** e"ployee disco&nt *or the *irst ti"e3gr bbed "y new topogr phic l " p o* the Ely"pic ?enins&l , nd drove to L ?&sh. -e didnFt get st rted i""edi telyG *irst, 7 cob spr wled cross the living roo" *loor3t $ing &p the whole roo"3 nd, *or *&ll twenty "in&tes, drew co"plic ted web cross the $ey section o* the " p while 8 perched on $itchen ch ir nd t l$ed to Billy. Billy didnFt see" t ll concerned bo&t o&r proposed hi$ing trip. 8 w s s&rprised th t 7 cob h d told hi" where we were going, given the *&ss people were " $ing bo&t the be r sightings. 8 w nted to s$ Billy not to s y nything bo&t this to !h rlie, b&t 8 w s *r id th t " $ing the reH&est wo&ld c &se the opposite res&lt. LM ybe weFll see the s&per be r,L 7 cob Jo$ed, eyes on his design. 8 gl nced t Billy swi*tly, *e ring !h rlie6style re ction. B&t Billy J&st l &ghed t his son. LM ybe yo& sho&ld t $e J r o* honey, J&st in c se.L 7 $e ch&c$led. L#ope yo&r new boots re * st, Bell . Ene little J r isnFt going to $eep h&ngry be r occ&pied *or long.L L8 only h ve to be * ster th n yo&.L L%ood l&c$ with th tML 7 cob s id, rolling his eyes s he re*olded the " p. LLetFs go.L L# ve *&n,L Billy r&"bled, wheeling hi"sel* tow rd the re*riger tor. !h rlie w s not h rd person to live with, b&t it loo$ed to "e li$e 7 cob h d it even e sier th n 8 did. 8 drove to the very end o* the dirt ro d, stopping ne r the sign th t " r$ed the beginning o* the tr ilhe d. 8t h d been long ti"e since 8Fd been here, nd "y sto" ch re cted nervo&sly. This "ight be very b d thing. B&t it wo&ld be worth it, i* 8 got to he r him. 8 got o&t nd loo$ed t the dense w ll o* green. L8 went this w y,L 8 "&r"&red, pointing str ight he d.
L#"",L 7 $e "&ttered. L-h tKL #e loo$ed t the direction 8Fd pointed, then t the cle rly " r$ed tr il, nd b c$. L8 wo&ld h ve *ig&red yo& *or tr il $ind o* girl.L LNot "e.L 8 s"iled ble $ly. L8F" rebel.L #e l &ghed, nd then p&lled o&t o&r " p. L%ive "e second.L #e held the co"p ss in s$illed w y, twisting the " p ro&nd till it ngled the w y he w nted. LE$ y3*irst line on the grid. LetFs do it.L 8 co&ld tell th t 8 w s slowing 7 cob &p, b&t he didnFt co"pl in. 8 tried not to dwell on "y l st trip thro&gh this p rt o* the *orest, with very di**erent co"p nion. Nor" l "e"ories were still c ngero&s. 8* 8 let "ysel* slip &p, 8Fd end &p with "y r"s cl&tching "y chest to hold it together, g sping *or ir, nd how wo&ld 8 expl in th t to 7 cobK 8t w snFt s h rd s 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght to $eep *oc&sed on the present. The *orest loo$ed lot li$e ny other p rt o* the penins&l , nd 7 cob set v stly di**erent "ood. #e whistled cheer*&lly, n &n* "ili r t&ne, swinging his r"s nd "oving e sily thro&gh the ro&gh &ndergrowth. The sh dows didnFt see" s d r$ s &s& l. Not with "y person l s&n long. 7 cob chec$ed the co"p ss every *ew "in&tes, $eeping &s in str ight line with one o* the r di ting spo$es o* his grid. #e re lly loo$ed li$e he $new wh t he w s doing. 8 w s going to co"pli"ent hi", b&t 8 c &ght "ysel*. No do&bt heFd dd nother *ew ye rs to his in*l ted ge. My "ind w ndered s 8 w l$ed, nd 8 grew c&rio&s. 8 h dnFt *orgotten the convers tion weFd h d by the se cli**s38Fd been w iting *or hi" to bring it &p g in, b&t it didnFt loo$ li$e th t w s going to h ppen. L#eyN 7 $eKL 8 s$ed hesit ntly. L+e hKL L#ow re thingsN with 0"bryK 8s he b c$ to nor" l yetKL 7 cob w s silent *or "in&te, still "oving *orw rd with long p ces. -hen he w s bo&t ten *eet he d, he stopped to w it *or "e. LNo. #eFs not b c$ to nor" l,L 7 cob s id when 8 re ched hi", his "o&th p&lling down t the corners. #e didnFt st rt w l$ing g in. 8 i""edi tely regretted bringing it &p. LStill with S ".L L+&p.L
#e p&t his r" ro&nd "y sho&lder, nd he loo$ed so tro&bled th t 8 didnFt pl y*&lly sh $e it o**, s 8 "ight h ve otherwise. LAre they still loo$ing t yo& *&nnyKL 8 h l*6whispered. 7 cob st red thro&gh the trees. LSo"eti"es.L LAnd BillyKL LAs help*&l s ever,L he s id in so&r, ngry voice th t dist&rbed "e. LE&r co&ch is lw ys open,L 8 o**ered. #e l &ghed, bre $ing o&t o* the &nn t&r l gloo". LB&t thin$ o* the position th t wo&ld p&t !h rlie in3when Billy c lls the police to report "y $idn pping.L 8 l &ghed too, gl d to h ve 7 cob b c$ to nor" l. -e stopped when 7 cob s id weFd gone six "iles, c&t west *or short ti"e, nd he ded b c$ long nother line o* his grid. 0verything loo$ed ex ctly the s "e s the w y in, nd 8 h d *eeling th t "y silly H&est w s pretty "&ch doo"ed. 8 d"itted s "&ch when it st rted to get d r$er, the s&nless d y * ding tow rd st rless night, b&t 7 cob w s "ore con*ident. LAs long s yo&Fre s&re weFre st rting *ro" the right pl ceNL #e gl nced down t "e. L+es, 8F" s&re.L LThen weFll *ind it,L he pro"ised, gr bbing "y h nd nd p&lling "e thro&gh " ss o* *erns. En the other side w s the tr&c$. #e gest&red tow rd it pro&dly. LTr&st "e.L L+o&Fre good,L 8 d"itted. LNext ti"e we bring *l shlights, tho&gh.L L-eFll s ve hi$ing *or S&nd ys *ro" now on. 8 didnFt $now yo& were th t slow.L 8 y n$ed "y h nd b c$ nd sto"ped ro&nd to the driverFs side while he ch&c$led t "y re ction. LSo yo& &p *or nother try to"orrow.FL he s$ed, sliding into the p ssenger se t. LS&re. 'nless yo& w nt to go witho&t "e so 8 donFt tie yo& down to "y gi"py p ce.L L8Fll s&rvive,L he ss&red "e. L8* weFre hi$ing g in, tho&gh, yo& "ight w nt to pic$ &p so"e "oles$in. 8 bet yo& c n *eel those new boots right now.L LA little,L 8 con*essed. 8t *elt li$e 8 h d "ore blisters th n 8 h d sp ce to *it the". L8 hope we see the be r to"orrow. 8F" sort o* dis ppointed bo&t th t.L L+es, "e, too,L 8 greed s rc stic lly. LM ybe weFll get l&c$y to"orrow nd so"ething will e t &sML
LBe rs donFt w nt to e t people. -e donFt t ste th t good.L #e grinned t "e in the d r$ c b. LE* co&rse, yo& might be n exception. 8 bet yo&Fd t ste good.L LTh n$s so "&ch,L 8 s id, loo$ing w y. #e w snFt the *irst person to tell "e th t.
". THIRD WHEE!
T8M0 B0%AN TE TB8? ALEN% M'!# MEB0 A'8!CL+ th n be*ore. School, wor$, nd 7 cob3tho&gh not necess rily in th t order3cre ted ne t nd e**ortless p ttern to *ollow. And !h rlie got his wishO 8 w snFt "iser ble ny"ore. E* co&rse, 8 co&ldnFt *ool "ysel* co"pletely. -hen 8 stopped to t $e stoc$ o* "y li*e, which 8 tried not to do too o*ten, 8 co&ldnFt ignore the i"plic tions o* "y beh vior. 8 w s li$e lost "oon3"y pl net destroyed in so"e c t clys"ic, dis ster6"ovie scen rio o* desol tion3th t contin&ed, nevertheless, to circle in tight little orbit ro&nd the e"pty sp ce le*t behind, ignoring the l ws o* gr vity. 8 w s getting better with "y bi$e, which "e nt *ewer b nd ges to worry !h rlie. B&t it lso "e nt th t the voice in "y he d beg n to * de, &ntil 8 he rd it no "ore. A&ietly, 8 p nic$ed. 8 threw "ysel* into the se rch *or the "e dow with slightly *renIied intensity. 8 r c$ed "y br in *or other dren line6prod&cing ctivities. 8 didnFt $eep tr c$ o* the d ys Oh t p ssed3there w s no re son, s 8 tried to live s "&ch in the present s possible, no p st * ding, no *&t&re i"pending. So 8 w s s&rprised by the d te when 7 cob bro&ght it &p on one o* o&r ho"ewor$ d ys. #e w s w iting when 8 p&lled &p in *ront o* his ho&se. L# ppy , lentineFs D y,L 7 cob s id, s"iling, b&t d&c$ing his he d s he greeted "e. #e held o&t s" ll, pin$ box, b l ncing it on his p l". !onvers tion he rts. L-ell, 8 *eel li$e sch"&c$,L 8 "&"bled. L8s tod y , lentineFs D yKL 7 cob shoo$ his he d with "oc$ s dness. L+o& c n be so o&t o* it so"eti"es. +es, it is the *o&rteenth d y o* /ebr& ry. So re yo& going to be "y , lentineK Since yo& didnFt get "e *i*ty6cent box o* c ndy, itFs the le st yo& c n do.L 8 st rted to *eel &nco"*ort ble. The words were te sing, b&t only on the s&r* ce. L-h t ex ctly does th t ent ilKL 8 hedged. LThe &s& l3sl ve *or li*e, th t $ind o* thing.L LEh, well, i* th tFs llNL 8 too$ the c ndy. B&t 8 w s trying to thin$ o* so"e w y to " $e the bo&nd ries cle r. Ag in. They see"ed to get bl&rred lot with 7 cob. LSo, wh t re we doing to"orrowK #i$ing, or the 0BKL
L#i$ing,L 8 decided. L+o&Fre not the only one who c n be obsessive. 8F" st rting to thin$ 8 i" gined th t pl ceNL 8 *rowned into sp ce. L-eFll *ind it,L he ss&red "e. LBi$es /rid yKL he o**ered. 8 s w ch nce nd too$ it witho&t t $ing ti"e to thin$ it thro&gh. L8F" going to "ovie /rid y. 8Fve been pro"ising "y c *eteri crowd th t 8 wo&ld go o&t *orever.L Mi$e wo&ld be ple sed. B&t 7 cobFs * ce *ell. 8 c &ght the expression in his d r$ eyes be*ore he dropped the" to loo$ t the gro&nd. L+o&Fll co"e too, rightKL 8 dded H&ic$ly. LEr will it be too "&ch o* dr g with b&nch o* boring seniorsKL So "&ch *or "y ch nce to p&t so"e dist nce between &s. 8 co&ldnFt st nd h&rting 7 cobG we see"ed to be connected in n odd w y, nd his p in set o** little st bs o* "y own. Also, the ide o* h ving his co"p ny *or the orde l38 had pro"ised Mi$e, b&t re lly didnFt *eel ny enth&si s" t the tho&ght o* *ollowing thro&gh3w s J&st too te"pting. L+o&Fd li$e "e to co"e, with yo&r *riends thereKL L+es,L 8 d"itted honestly, $nowing s 8 contin&ed th t 8 w s prob bly shooting "ysel* in the *oot with "y words. L8Fll h ve lot "ore *&n i* yo&Fre there. Bring A&il, nd weFll " $e it p rty.L LA&ilFs gonn *re $. Senior girls.L #e chortled nd rolled his eyes. 8 didnFt "ention 0"bry, nd neither did he. 8 l &ghed, too. L8Fll try to get hin good selection.L 8 bro ched the s&bJect with Mi$e in 0nglish. L#ey, Mi$e,L 8 s id when cl ss w s over. LAre yo& *ree /rid y nightKL #e loo$ed &p, his bl&e eyes inst ntly hope*&l. L+e h, 8 ". +o& w nt to go o&tKL 8 worded "y reply c re*&lly. L8 w s thin$ing bo&t getting group,38 e"ph siIed the word 3Ltogether to go see +rosshairs.L 8Fd done "y ho"ewor$ this ti"e3even re ding the "ovie spoilers to be s&re 8 wo&ldnFt be c &ght o** g& rd. This "ovie w s s&pposed to be bloodb th *ro" st rt to *inish. 8 w snFt so recovered th t 8 co&ld st nd to sit thro&gh ro" nce. LDoes th t so&nd li$e *&nKL LS&re,L he greed, visibly less e ger. L!ool.L A*ter second, he per$ed b c$ &p to ne r his *or"er excite"ent level. L#ow bo&t we get Angel nd BenK Er 0ric nd C tieKL #e w s deter"ined to " $e this so"e $ind o* do&ble d te, pp rently. L#ow bo&t bothKL 8 s&ggested LAnd 7essic , too, o* co&rse. And Tyler nd !onner, nd " ybe L &ren,L 8 t c$ed on gr&dgingly. 8 had pro"ised A&il v riety.
LE$ y,L Mi$e "&ttered, *oiled. LAnd,L 8 contin&ed, L8Fve got co&ple o* *riends *ro" L ?&sh 8F" inviting. So it so&nds li$e weFll need yo&r S&b&rb n i* everyone co"es.L Mi$eFs eyes n rrowed in s&spicion. LThese re the *riends yo& spend ll yo&r ti"e st&dying with nowKL L+ep, the very ones,L 8 nswered cheer*&lly. LTho&gh yo& co&ld loo$ t it s t&toring3theyFre only sopho"ores.L LEh,L Mi$e s id, s&rprised. A*ter second o* tho&ght, he s"iled. 8n the end, tho&gh, the S&b&rb n w snFt necess ry. 7essic nd L &ren cl i"ed to be b&sy s soon s Mi$e let it slip th t 8 w s involved in the pl nning. 0ric nd C tie lre dy h d pl ns3it w s their three6wee$ nnivers ry or so"ething. L &ren got to Tyler nd !onner be*ore Mi$e co&ld, so those two were lso b&sy. 0ven A&il w s o&t3gro&nded *or *ighting t school. 8n the end, only Angel nd Ben, nd, o* co&rse 7 cob, were ble to go. The di"inished n&"bers didnFt d "pen Mi$eFs nticip tion, tho&gh. 8t w s ll he co&ld t l$ bo&t /rid y. LAre yo& s&re yo& donFt w nt to see Tomorro and Forever inste dKL he s$ed t l&nch, n "ing the c&rrent ro" ntic co"edy th t w s r&ling the box o**ice. LBotten To" toes g ve it better review.L L8 w nt to see +rosshairs, 8 insisted. L8F" in the "ood *or ction. Bring on the blood nd g&tsML LE$ y.L Mi$e t&rned w y, b&t not be*ore 8 s w his " ybe6sheFs6cr Iy6 *ter6 ll expression. -hen 8 got ho"e *ro" school, very * "ili r c r w s p r$ed in *ront o* "y ho&se. 7 cob w s le ning g inst the hood, h&ge grin lighting &p his * ce. LNo w yML 8 sho&ted s 8 J&"ped o&t o* the tr&c$. L+o&Fre doneM 8 c nFt believe itM +o& *inished the B bbitML #e be "ed. L7&st l st night. This is the " iden voy ge.L L8ncredible.L 8 held "y h nd &p *or high *ive. #e s" c$ed his h nd g inst "ine, b&t le*t it there, twisting his *ingers thro&gh "ine. LSo do 8 get to drive tonightKL LDe*initely,L 8 s id, nd then 8 sighed. L-h tFs wrongKL L8F" giving &p38 c nFt top this one. So yo& win. +o&Fre oldest.L
#e shr&gged, &ns&rprised by "y c pit&l tion. LE* co&rse 8 ".L Mi$eFs S&b&rb n ch&gged ro&nd the corner. 8 p&lled "y h nd o&t o* 7 cobFs, nd he n&de * ce th t 8 w snFt "e nt to see. L8 re"e"ber this g&y,L he s id in low voice s Mi$e p r$ed cross the street. LThe one who tho&ght yo& were his girl*riend. 8s he still con*&sedKL 8 r ised one eyebrow. LSo"e people re h rd to disco&r ge.L LThen g in,L 7 cob s id tho&ght*&lly, Lso"eti"es persistence p ys o**.L LMost o* the ti"e itFs J&st nnoying, tho&gh.L Mi$e got o&t o* his c r nd crossed the ro d. L#ey, Bell ,L he greeted "e, nd then his eyes t&rned w ry s he loo$ed &p t 7 cob. 8 gl nced brie*ly t 7 cob, too, trying to be obJective. #e re lly didnFt loo$ li$e sopho"ore t ll. #e w s J&st so big3Mi$eFs he d b rely cle red 7 cobFs sho&lderG 8 didnFt even w nt to thin$ where 8 "e s&red next to hi"3 nd then his * ce w s older6loo$ing th n it &sed to be, even "onth go. L#ey, Mi$eM Do yo& re"e"ber 7 cob Bl c$KL LNot re lly.L Mi$e held o&t his h nd. LEld * "ily *riend,L 7 cob introd&ced hi"sel*, sh $ing h nds. They loc$ed h nds with "ore *orce th n necess ry. -hen their grip bro$e, Mi$e *lexed his *ingers. 8 he rd the phone ringing *ro" the $itchen. L8Fd better get th t3it "ight be !h rlie,L 8 told the", nd d shed inside. 8t w s Ben. Angel w s sic$ with the sto" ch *l&, nd he didnFt *eel li$e co"ing witho&t her. #e pologiIed *or b iling on &s. 8 w l$ed slowly b c$ to the w iting boys, sh $ing "y he d. 8 re lly hoped Angel wo&ld *eel better soon, b&t 8 h d to d"it th t 8 w s sel*ishly &pset by this develop"ent. 7&st the three o* &s, Mi$e nd 7 cob nd "e, together *or the evening3this h d wor$ed o&t brilli ntly, 8 tho&ght with gri" s rc s". 8t didnFt see" li$e 7 $e nd Mi$e h d " de ny progress tow rds *riendship in "y bsence. They were sever l y rds p rt, * cing w y *ro" e ch other s they w ited *or "eG Mi$eFs expression w s s&llen, tho&gh 7 cobFs w s cheer*&l s lw ys. LAng is sic$,L 8 told the" gl&"ly. LShe nd Ben renFt co"ing.L L8 g&ess the *l& is " $ing nother ro&nd. A&stin nd !onner were o&t tod y, too. M ybe we sho&ld do this nother ti"e,L Mi$e s&ggested. Be*ore 8 co&ld gree, 7 cob spo$e. L8F" still &p *or it. B&t i* yo&Fd r ther to st y behind, Mi$e3L
LNo, 8F" co"ing,L Mi$e interr&pted. L8 w s J&st thin$ing o* Angel st rted tow rd his S&b&rb n.
nd Ben. LetFs go.L #e
L#ey, do yo& "ind i* 7 cob drivesKL 8 s$ed. L8 told hi" he co&ld3he J&st *inished his c r. #e b&ilt it *ro" scr tch, ll by hi"sel*,L 8 br gged, pro&d s ?TA "o" with st&dent on the princip lFs list. L/ine,L Mi$e sn pped. LAll right, then,L 7 cob s id, s i* th t settled everything. #e see"ed "ore co"*ort ble th n nyone else. Mi$e cli"bed in the b c$se t o* the B bbit with disg&sted expression. 7 cob w s his nor" l s&nny sel*, ch ttering w y &ntil 8Fd ll b&t *orgotten Mi$e s&l$ing silently in the b c$. And then Mi$e ch nged his str tegy. #e le ned *orw rd, resting his chin on the sho&lder o* "y se tG his chee$ l"ost to&ched "ine. 8 shi*ted w y, t&rning "y b c$ tow rd the window. LDoesnFt the r dio wor$ in this thingKL Mi$e s$ed with hint o* pet&l nce, interr&pting 7 cob "id6sentence. L+es,L 7 cob nswered. LB&t Bell doesnFt li$e "&sic.L 8 st red t 7 cob, s&rprised. 8Fd never told hi" th t. LBell KL Mi$e s$ed, nnoyed. L#eFs right,L 8 "&"bled, still loo$ing t 7 cobFs serene pro*ile. L#ow c n yo& not li$e "&sicKL Mi$e de" nded. 8 shr&gged. L8 donFt $now. 8t J&st irrit tes "e.L L#"ph.L Mi$e le ned w y. -hen we got to the the ter, 7 cob h nded "e ten6doll r bill. L-h tFs thisKL 8 obJected. L8F" not old eno&gh to get into this one,L he re"inded "e. 8 l &ghed o&t lo&d. LSo "&ch *or rel tive ges. 8s Billy going to $ill "e i* 8 sne $ yo& inKL LNo. 8 told hi" yo& were pl nning to corr&pt "y yo&th*&l innocence.L 8 snic$ered, nd Mi$e H&ic$ened his p ce to $eep &p with &s. 8 l"ost wished th t Mi$e h d decided to bow o&t. #e w s still s&llen3not "&ch o* n ddition to the p rty. B&t 8 didnFt w nt to end &p on d te lone with 7 cob, either. Th t wo&ldnFt help nything.
The "ovie w s ex ctly wh t it pro*essed to be. 8n J&st the opening credits, *o&r people got blown &p nd one got behe ded. The girl in *ront o* "e p&t her h nds over her eyes nd t&rned her * ce into her d teFs chest. #e p tted her sho&lder, nd winced occ sion lly, too. Mi$e didnFt loo$ li$e he w s w tching. #is * ce w s sti** s he gl red tow rd the *ringe o* c&rt in bove the screen. 8 settled in to end&re the two ho&rs, w tching the colors nd the "ove"ent on the screen r ther th n seeing the sh pes o* people nd c rs nd ho&ses. B&t then 7 cob st rted sniggering. L-h tKL 8 whispered. LEh, cF"onML he hissed b c$. LThe blood sH&irted twenty *eet o&t o* th t g&y. #ow * $e c n yo& getKL #e ch&c$led g in, s *l gpole spe red nother " n into concrete w ll. A*ter th t, 8 re lly w tched the show, l &ghing with hi" s the " yhe" got "ore nd "ore ridic&lo&s. #ow w s 8 ever going to *ight the bl&rring lines in o&r rel tionship when 8 enJoyed being with hi" so "&chK Both 7 cob nd Mi$e h d cl i"ed the r"rests on either side o* "e. Both o* their h nds rested lightly, p l"s &p, in n &nn t&r l loo$ing position. Li$e steel be r tr ps, open nd re dy. 7 cob w s in the h bit o* t $ing "y h nd whenever the opport&nity presented itsel*, b&t here in the d r$ened "ovie the ter, with Mi$e w tching, it wo&ld h ve di**erent signi*ic nce3 nd 8 w s s&re he $new th t. 8 co&ldnFt believe th t Mi$e w s thin$ing the s "e thing, b&t his h nd w s pl ced ex ctly li$e 7 cobFs. 8 *olded "y r"s tightly cross "y chest nd hoped th t both their h nds *ell sleep. Mi$e g ve &p *irst. Abo&t h l*w y thro&gh the "ovie, he p&lled his r" b c$, nd le ned *orw rd to p&t his he d in his h nds. At *irst 8 tho&ght he w s re cting to so"ething on the screen, b&t then he "o ned. LMi$e, re yo& o$ yKL 8 whispered. The co&ple in *ront o* &s t&rned to loo$ t hi" s he gro ned g in. 8 co&ld see the sheen o* swe t cross his * ce in the light *ro" the screen. Mi$e gro ned g in, nd bolted *or the door. 8 got &p to *ollow hi", nd 7 cob copied "e i""edi tely. LNo, st y,L 8 whispered. L8Fll " $e s&re heFs o$ y.L 7 cob c "e with "e nyw y. L+o& donFt h ve to co"e. %et yo&r eight b&c$s worth o* c rn ge,L 8 insisted s we w l$ed &p the isle. LTh tFs o$ y. +o& s&re c n pic$ the", Bell . This "ovie re lly s&c$s.L #is voice rose *ro" whisper to its nor" l pitch s we w l$ed o&t o* the the ter.
There w s no sign o* Mi$e in the h llw y, nd 8 w s gl d then th t 7 cob h d co"e with "e3he d&c$ed into the "enFs b throo" to chec$ *or hi" there. 7 cob w s b c$ in *ew seconds. LEh, heFs in there, ll right,L he s id, rolling his eyes. L-h t " rsh" llow. +o& sho&ld hold o&t *or so"eone with stronger sto" ch. So"eone who l &ghs t the gore th t " $es we $er "en vo"it.L L8Fll $eep "y eyes open *or so"eone li$e th t.L -e were ll lone in the h llw y. Both the ters were h l*w y thro&gh the "ovie, nd it w s deserted3H&iet eno&gh *or &s to he r the popcorn popping t the concession co&nter in the lobby. 7 cob went to sit on the velveteen6&pholstered bench g inst the w ll, p tting the sp ce beside hi". L#e so&nded li$e he w s going to be in there *or while,L he s id, stretching his long legs o&t in *ront o* hi" s he settled in to w it. 8 Joined hi" with sigh. #e loo$ed li$e he w s thin$ing bo&t bl&rring "ore lines. S&re eno&gh, s soon s 8 s t down, he shi*ted over to p&t his r" ro&nd "y sho&lders. L7 $e,L 8 protested, le ning w y. #e dropped his r", not loo$ing bothered t ll by the "inor reJection. #e re ched o&t nd too$ "y h nd *ir"ly, wr pping his other h nd ro&nd "y wrist when 8 tried to p&ll w y g in. -here did he get the con*idence *ro"K LNow, J&st hold on "in&te, Bell ,L he s id in c l" voice. LTell "e so"ething.L 8 gri" ced. 8 didnFt w nt to do this. Not J&st not now, b&t not ever. There w s nothing lett in "y li*e t this point th t w s "ore i"port nt th n 7 cob Bl c$. B&t he see"ed deter"ined to r&in everything. L-h tKL 8 "&ttered so&rly. L+o& li$e "e, rightKL L+o& $now 8 do.L LBetter th n th t Jo$er p&$ing his g&ts o&t in thereKL #e gest&red tow rd the b throo" door. L+es,L 8 sighed. LBetter th n ny o* the other g&ys yo& $nowKL #e w s c l", serene3 s i* "y nswer didnFt " tter, or he lre dy $new wh t it w s. LBetter th n the girls, too,L 8 pointed o&t. LB&t th tFs ll,L he s id, nd it w snFt H&estion.
8t w s h rd to nswer, to s y the word. -o&ld he get h&rt nd void "eK #ow wo&ld 8 st nd th tK L+es,L 8 whispered. #e grinned down t "e. LTh tFs o$ y, yo& $now. As long s yo& li$e "e the best. And yo& thin$ 8F" good6loo$ing3sort o*. 8F" prep red to be nnoyingly persistent.L L8F" not going to ch nge,L 8 s id, nd tho&gh 8 tried to $eep "y voice nor" l, 8 co&ld he r the s dness in it. #is * ce w s tho&ght*&l, no longer te sing. L8tFs still the other one, isnFt itKL 8 cringed. /&nny how he see"ed to $now not to s y the n "e3J&st li$e be*ore in the c r with the "&sic. #e pic$ed &p on so "&ch bo&t "e th t 8 never s id. L+o& donFt h ve to t l$ bo&t it,L he told "e. 8 nodded, gr te*&l. LB&t donFt get " d t "e *or h nging ro&nd, o$ yKL 7 cob p tted the b c$ o* "y h nd. LBec &se 8F" not giving &p. 8Fve got lo ds o* ti"e.L 8 sighed. L+o& sho&ldnFt w ste it on "e,L 8 s id, tho&gh 8 w nted hi" to. 0speci lly i* he w s willing to ccept "e the w y 8 w s3d " ged goods, s is. L8tFs wh t 8 w nt to do, s long s yo& still li$e to be with "e.L L8 c nFt i" gine how 8 co&ld not li$e being with yo&,L 8 told hi" honestly. 7 cob be "ed. L8 c n live with th t.L L7&st donFt expect "ore,L 8 w rned hi", trying to p&ll "y h nd w y. #e held onto it obstin tely. LThis doesnFt re lly bother yo&, does itKL he de" nded, sH&eeIing "y *ingers. LNo,L 8 sighed. Tr&th*&lly, it *elt nice. #is h nd w s so "&ch w r"er th n "ineG 8 lw ys *elt too cold these d ys. LAnd yo& donFt c re wh t he thin$s.L 7 cob Jer$ed his th&"b tow rd the b throo". L8 g&ess not.L LSo wh tFs the proble"KL LThe proble",L 8 s id, Lis, th t it "e ns so"ething di**erent to "e th n it does to yo&.L L-ell.L #e tightened his h nd ro&nd "ine LTh tFs my proble", isnFt itKL L/ine,L 8 gr&"bled. LDonFt *orget it, tho&gh.L L8 wonFt. The pinFs o&t o* the gren de *or "e, now, ehKL #e po$ed "e in the ribs.
8 rolled "y eyes. 8 g&ess i* he *elt li$e " $ing Jo$e o&t o* it, he w s entitled. #e ch&c$led H&ietly *or "in&te while his pin$y *inger bsently tr ced designs g inst the side o* "y h nd. LTh tFs *&nny sc r yo&Fve got there,L he s&ddenly s id, twisting "y h nd to ex "ine it. L#ow did th t h ppenKL The index *inger o* his *ree h nd *ollowed the line o* the long silvery crescent th t w s b rely visible g inst "y p le s$in. 8 scowled. LDo yo& honestly expect "e to re"e"ber where ll "y sc rs co"e *ro"KL 8 w ited *or the "e"ory to hit3to open the g ping hole. B&t, s it so o*ten did, 7 cobFs presence $ept "e whole. L8tFs cold,L he "&r"&red, pressing lightly g inst the pl ce where 7 "es h d c&t "e with his teeth. And then Mi$e st&"bled o&t o* the b throo", his * ce shen nd covered in swe t. #e loo$ed horrible. LEh, Mi$e,L 8 g sped. LDo yo& "ind le ving e rlyKL he whispered. LNo, o* co&rse not.L 8 p&lled "y h nd *ree nd went to help Mi$e w l$. #e loo$ed &nste dy. LMovie too "&ch *or yo&KL 7 cob s$ed he rtlessly. Mi$eFs gl re w s " levolent. L8 didnFt ct& lly see ny o* it,L he "&"bled. L8 w s n &se ted be*ore the lights went down.L L-hy didnFt yo& s y so"ethingKL 8 scolded s we st ggered tow rd the exit. L8 w s hoping it wo&ld p ss,L he s id. L7&st sec,L 7 cob s id s we re ched the door. #e w l$ed H&ic$ly b c$ to the concession st nd. L!o&ld 8 h ve n e"pty popcorn b&c$etKL he s$ed the s lesgirl. She loo$ed t Mi$e once, nd then thr&st b&c$et t 7 cob. L%et hi" o&tside, ple se,L she begged. She w s obvio&sly the one who wo&ld h ve to cle n the *loor. 8 towed Mi$e o&t into the cool, wet ir. #e inh led deeply. 7 cob w s right behind &s. #e helped "e get Mi$e into the b c$ o* the c r, nd h nded hi" the b&c$et with serio&s g Ie. L?le se,L w s ll 7 cob s id. -e rolled down the windows, letting the icy night ir blow thro&gh the c r, hoping it wo&ld help Mi$e. 8 c&rled "y r"s ro&nd "y legs to $eep w r".
L!old, g inKL 7 cob s$ed, p&tting his r" ro&nd "e be*ore 8 co&ld nswer. L+o&Fre notKL #e shoo$ his he d. L+o& "&st h ve *ever or so"ething,L 8 gr&"bled. 8t w s *reeIing. 8 to&ched "y *ingers to his *orehe d, nd his he d as hot. L-ho , 7 $e3yo&Fre b&rning &pML L8 *eel *ine.L #e shr&gged. L/it s *iddle.L 8 *rowned nd to&ched his he d g in. #is s$in bl Ied &nder "y *ingers. L+o&r h nds re li$e ice,L he co"pl ined. LM ybe itFs "e,L 8 llowed. Mi$e gro ned in the b c$se t, nd threw &p in the b&c$et. 8 gri" ced, hoping my own sto" ch co&ld st nd the so&nd nd s"ell. 7 cob chec$ed nxio&sly over his sho&lder to " $e s&re his c r w snFt de*iled. The ro d *elt longer on the w y b c$. 7 cob w s H&iet, tho&ght*&l. #e le*t his r" ro&nd "e, nd it w s so w r" th t the cold wind *elt good. 8 st red o&t the windshield, cons&"ed with g&ilt. 8t w s so wrong to enco&r ge 7 cob. ?&re sel*ishness. 8t didnFt " tter th t 8Fd tried to " $e "y position cle r. 8* he *elt ny hope t ll th t this co&ld t&rn into so"ething other th n *riendship, then 8 h dnFt been cle r eno&gh. #ow co&ld 8 expl in so th t he wo&ld &nderst ndK 8 w s n e"pty shell. Li$e v c nt ho&se3 conde"ned3*or "onths 8Fd been &tterly &ninh bit ble. Now 8 w s little i"proved. The *ront roo" w s in better rep ir. B&t th t w s ll3J&st the one s" ll piece. #e deserved better th n th t 3better th n one6roo", * lling6down *ixer6&pper. No "o&nt o* invest"ent on his p rt co&ld p&t "e b c$ in wor$ing order. +et 8 $new th t 8 wo&ldnFt send hi" w y, reg rdless. 8 needed hi" too "&ch, nd 8 w s sel*ish. M ybe 8 co&ld " $e "y side "ore cle r, so th t he wo&ld $now to le ve "e. The tho&ght " de "e sh&dder, nd 7 cob tightened his r" ro&nd "e. 8 drove Mi$e ho"e in his S&b&rb n, while 7 cob *ollowed behind &s to t $e "e ho"e. 7 cob w s H&iet ll the w y b c$ to "y ho&se, nd 8 wondered i* he were thin$ing the s "e things th t 8 w s. M ybe he w s ch nging his "ind. L8 wo&ld invite "ysel* in, since weFre e rly,L he s id s we p&lled &p next to "y tr&c$. LB&t 8 thin$ yo& "ight be right bo&t the *ever. 8F" st rting to *eel littleN str nge.L LEh no, not yo&, tooM Do yo& w nt "e to drive yo& ho"eKL
LNo.L #e shoo$ his he d, his eyebrows p&lling together. L8 donFt *eel sic$ yet. 7&stN wrong. 8* 8 h ve to, 8Fll p&ll over.L L-ill yo& c ll "e s soon s yo& get inKL 8 s$ed nxio&sly. LS&re, s&re.L #e *rowned, st ring he d into the d r$ness nd biting his lip. 8 opened "y door to get o&t, b&t he gr bbed "y wrist lightly nd held "e there. 8 noticed g in how hot his s$in *elt on "ine. L-h t is it, 7 $eKL 8 s$ed. LThereFs so"ething 8 w nt to tell yo&, Bell N b&t 8 thin$ itFs going to so&nd $ind o* corny.L 8 sighed. This wo&ld be "ore o* the s "e *ro" the the ter. L%o he d.L L8tFs J&st th t, 8 $now how yo&Fre &nh ppy lot. And, " ybe it doesnFt help nything, b&t 8 w nted yo& to $now th t 8F" lw ys here. 8 wonFt ever let yo& down38 pro"ise th t yo& c n lw ys co&nt on "e. -ow, th t does so&nd corny. B&t yo& $now th t, rightK Th t 8 wo&ld never, ever h&rt yo&KL L+e h, 7 $e. 8 $now th t. And 8 lre dy do co&nt on yo&, prob bly "ore th n you $now.L The s"ile bro$e cross his * ce the w y the s&nrise set the clo&ds on *ire, nd 8 w nted to c&t "y tong&e o&t. 8 h dnFt s id one word th t w s lie, b&t 8 sho&ld h ve lied. The tr&th w s wrong, it wo&ld h&rt hi". I wo&ld let hi" down. A str nge loo$ crossed his * ce. L8 re lly thin$ 8Fd better go ho"e now,L he s id. 8 got o&t H&ic$ly. L! ll "eML 8 yelled s he p&lled w y. 8 w tched hi" go, nd he see"ed to be in control o* the c r, t le st. 8 st red t the e"pty street when he w s gone, *eeling little sic$ "ysel*, b&t not *or ny physic l re son. #ow "&ch 8 wished th t 7 cob Bl c$ h d been born "y brother, "y *lesh6 nd 6blood brother, so th t 8 wo&ld h ve so"e legiti" te cl i" on hi" th t still le*t "e *ree o* ny bl "e now. #e ven $nows 8 h d never w nted to &se 7 cob, b&t 8 co&ldnFt help b&t interpret the g&ilt 8 *elt now to "e n th t 8 h d. 0ven "ore, 8 h d never "e nt to love hi". Ene thing 8 tr&ly $new3$new it in the pit o* "y sto" ch, in the center o* "y bones, $new it *ro" the crown o* "y he d to the soles o* "y *eet, $new it deep in "y e"pty chest3w s how love g ve so"eone the power to bre $ yo&. 8Fd been bro$en beyond rep ir. B&t 8 needed 7 cob now, needed hi" li$e dr&g. 8Fd &sed hi" s cr&tch *or too long, nd 8 w s in deeper th n 8Fd pl nned to go with nyone g in. Now 8 co&ldnFt be r *or hi" to be h&rt, nd 8 co&ldnFt $eep *ro" h&rting hi", either. #e tho&ght ti"e nd p tience wo&ld ch nge "e, nd, tho&gh 8 $new he w s de d wrong, 8 lso $new th t 8 wo&ld let hi" try.
#e w s "y best *riend. 8 wo&ld lw ys love hi", nd it wo&ld never, ever be eno&gh. 8 went inside to sit by the phone nd bite "y n ils. LMovie over lre dyKL !h rlie s$ed in s&rprise when 8 c "e in. #e w s on the *loor, J&st *oot *ro" the T,. M&st be n exciting g "e. LMi$e got sic$,L 8 expl ined. LSo"e $ind o* sto" ch *l&.L L+o& o$ yKL L8 *eel *ine now,L 8 s id do&bt*&lly. !le rly, 8Fd been exposed. 8 le ned g inst the $itchen co&nter, "y h nd inches *ro" the phone, nd tried to w it p tiently. 8 tho&ght o* the str nge loo$ on 7 cobFs * ce be*ore he drove w y, nd "y *ingers st rted dr&""ing g inst the co&nter. 8 sho&ld h ve insisted on driving hi" ho"e. 8 w tched the cloc$ s the "in&tes tic$ed by Ten. /i*teen. 0ven when 8 w s driving, it too$ only *i*teen "in&tes, nd 7 cob drove * ster th n 8 did. 0ighteen "in&tes. 8 pic$ed &p the phone nd di led. 8t r ng nd r ng. M ybe Billy w s sleep. M ybe 8Fd di led wrong. 8 tried g in. En the eighth ring, J&st s 8 w s bo&t to h ng &p, Billy nswered. L#elloKL he s$ed. #is voice w s w ry, li$e he w s expecting b d news. LBilly, itFs "e, Bell 3did 7 $e " $e it ho"e yetK #e le*t here bo&t twenty "in&tes go.L L#eFs here,L Billy s id tonelessly. L#e w s s&pposed to c ll "e.L 8 w s little irrit ted. L#e w s getting sic$ when he le*t, nd 8 w s worried.L L#e w sN too sic$ to c ll. #eFs not *eeling well right now.L Billy so&nded dist nt. 8 re liIed he "&st w nt to be with 7 cob. LLet "e $now i* yo& need ny help,L 8 o**ered. L8 co&ld co"e down.L 8 tho&ght o* Billy, st&c$ in his ch ir, nd 7 $e *ending *or hi"sel*N LNo, no,L Billy s id H&ic$ly. L-eFre *ine. St y t yo&r pl ce.L The w y he s id it w s l"ost r&de. LE$ y,L 8 greed. LBye, Bell .L The line disconnected. LBye,L 8 "&ttered.
-ell, t le st heFd " de it ho"e. Eddly, 8 didnFt *eel less worried. 8 tr&dged &p the st irs, *retting. M ybe 8 wo&ld go down be*ore wor$ to"orrow to chec$ on hi". 8 co&ld t $e so&p3we h d to h ve c n o* ! "pbellFs ro&nd here so"ewhere. 8 re liIed ll s&ch pl ns were c nceled when 8 wo$e &p e rly3"y cloc$ s id *o&r thirty3 nd sprinted to the b throo". !h rlie *o&nd "e there h l* ho&r l ter, lying on the *loor, "y chee$ pressed g inst the cold edge o* the b tht&b. #e loo$ed t "e *or long "o"ent. LSto" ch *l&,L he *in lly s id. L+es,L 8 "o ned. L+o& need so"ethingKL he s$ed. L! ll the Newtons *or "e, ple se,L 8 instr&cted ho rsely. LTell the" 8 h ve wh t Mi$e h s, nd th t 8 c nFt " $e it in tod y. Tell the" 8F" sorry.L LS&re, no proble",L !h rlie ss&red "e. 8 spent the rest o* the d y on the b throo" *loor, sleeping *or *ew ho&rs with "y he d on cr&"pled &p towel. !h rlie cl i"ed th t he h d to wor$, b&t 8 s&spected th t he J&st w nted ccess to b throo". #e le*t gl ss o* w ter on the *loor beside "e to $eep "e hydr ted. 8t wo$e "e &p when he c "e b c$ ho"e. 8 co&ld see th t it w s d r$ in "y roo"3 *ter night* ll. #e cl&"ped &p the st irs to chec$ on "e. LStill liveKL LSort o*,L 8 s id. LDo yo& w nt nythingKL LNo, th n$s.L #e hesit ted, cle rly o&t o* his ele"ent. LE$ y, then,L he s id, nd then he went b c$ down to the $itchen. 8 he rd the phone ring *ew "in&tes l ter. !h rlie spo$e to so"eone in low voice *or "o"ent, nd then h&ng &p. LMi$e *eels better,L he c lled &p to "e. -ell, th t w s enco&r ging. #eFd only gotten sic$ eight ho&rs or so be*ore "e. 0ight "ore ho&rs. The tho&ght " de "y sto" ch t&rn, nd 8 p&lled "ysel* &p to le n over the toilet. 8 *ell sleep on the towel g in, b&t when 8 wo$e &p 8 w s in "y bed nd it w s light o&tside "y window. 8 didnFt re"e"ber "ovingG !h rlie "&st h ve c rried "e to "y roo"3heFd lso p&t the gl ss o* w ter on "y bedside t ble. 8 *elt p rched. 8 ch&gged it down, tho&gh it t sted *&nny *ro" sitting st gn nt ll night.
8 got &p slowly, trying not to trigger the n &se g in. 8 w s we $, nd "y "o&th t sted horrible, b&t "y sto" ch *elt *ine. 8 loo$ed t "y cloc$. My twenty6*o&r ho&rs were &p. 8 didnFt p&sh it, e ting nothing b&t s ltine cr c$ers *or bre $* st. !h rlie loo$ed relieved to see "e recovered. As soon s 8 w s s&re th t 8 w snFt going to h ve to spend the d y on the b throo" *loor g in, 8 c lled 7 cob. 7 cob w s the one who nswered, b&t when 8 he rd his greeting 8 $new he w snFt over it. L#elloKL #is voice w s bro$en, cr c$ing. LEh, 7 $e,L 8 gro ned sy"p thetic lly. L+o& so&nd horrible.L L8 *eel horrible,L he whispered. L8F" so sorry 8 " de yo& go o&t with "e. This s&c$s.L L8F" gl d 8 went.L #is voice w s still whisper. LDonFt bl "e yo&rsel*. This isnFt yo&r * &lt.L L+o&Fll get better soon,L 8 pro"ised. L8 wo$e &p this "orning, nd 8 w s *ine.L L+o& were sic$KL he s$ed d&lly. L+es, 8 got it, too. B&t 8F" *ine now.L LTh tFs good.L #is voice w s de d. LSo yo&Fll prob bly be better in *ew ho&rs,L 8 enco&r ged. 8 co&ld b rely he r his nswer. L8 donFt thin$ 8 h ve the s "e thing yo& did.L LDonFt yo& h ve the sto" ch *l&KL 8 s$ed, con*&sed. LNo. This is so"ething else.L L-h tFs wrong with yo&KL L0verything,L he whispered. L0very p rt o* "e h&rts.L The p in in his voice w s ne rly t ngible. L-h t c n 8 do, 7 $eK -h t c n 8 bring yo&KL LNothing. +o& c nFt co"e here.L #e w s br&pt. 8t re"inded "e o* Billy the other night. L8Fve lre dy been exposed to wh tever yo& h ve,L 8 pointed o&t. #e ignored "e. L8Fll c ll yo& when 8 c n. 8Fll let yo& $now when yo& c n co"e down g in.L
L7 cob3L L8Fve got to go,L he s id with s&dden &rgency. L! ll "e when yo& *eel better.L LBight,L he greed, nd his voice h d str nge, bitter edge. #e w s silent *or "o"ent. 8 w s w iting *or hi" to s y goodbye, b&t he w ited too. L8Fll see yo& soon,L 8 *in lly s id. L- it *or "e to c ll,L he s id g in. LE$ yN Bye, 7 cob.L LBell ,L he whispered "y n "e, nd then h&ng &p the phone.
1#. THE MEADOW
7A!EB D8DNFT !ALL. The *irst ti"e 8 c lled, Billy nswered nd told "e th t 7 cob w s still in bed. 8 got nosy, chec$ing to " $e s&re th t Billy h d t $en hi" to doctor. Billy s id he h d, b&t, *or so"e re son 8 co&ldnFt n il down, 8 didnFt re lly believe hi". 8 c lled g in, sever l ti"es d y, *or the next two d ys, b&t no one w s ever there. S t&rd y, 8 decided to go see hi", invit tion be d "ned. B&t the little red ho&se w s e"pty. This *rightened "e3w s 7 cob so sic$ th t heFd needed to go to the hospit lK 8 stopped by the hospit l on the w y b c$ ho"e, b&t the n&rse t the *ront des$ told "e neither 7 cob or Billy h d been in. 8 " de !h rlie c ll # rry !le rw ter s soon s he got ho"e *ro" wor$. 8 w ited, nxio&s, while !h rlie ch tted with his old *riendG the convers tion see"ed to go on *orever witho&t 7 cob even being "entioned. 8t see"ed th t 0arry h d been in the hospit l . . so"e $ind o* tests *or his he rt. !h rlieFs *orehe d got ll pinched together, b&t # rry Jo$ed with hi", blowing it o**, &ntil !h rlie w s l &ghing g in. Enly then did !h rlie s$ bo&t 7 cob, nd now his side o* the convers tion didnFt give "e "&ch to wor$ with, J&st lot o* hmms nd yeahs. 8 dr&""ed "y *ingers g inst the co&nter beside hi" &ntil he p&t h nd over "ine to stop "e. /in lly, !h rlie h&ng &p the phone nd t&rned to "e. L# rry s ys thereFs been so"e tro&ble with the phone lines, nd th tFs why yo& h venFt been ble to get thro&gh. Billy too$ 7 $e to the doc down there, nd it loo$s li$e he h s "ono. #eFs re l tired, nd Billy s id no visitors,L he reported. LNo visitorsKL 8 de" nded in disbelie*. !h rlie r ised one eyebrow. LNow donFt yo& go " $ing pest o* yo&rsel*, Bells. Billy $nows wh tFs best *or 7 $e. #eFll be &p nd ro&nd soon eno&gh. Be p tient.L 8 didnFt p&sh it. !h rlie w s too worried bo&t # rry. Th t w s cle rly the "ore i"port nt iss&e 3it wo&ldnFt be right to b&g hi" with "y lesser concerns. 8nste d, 8 went str ight &pst irs nd
t&rned on "y co"p&ter. 8 *o&nd "edic l site online nd typed L"onon&cleosisL into the se rch box. All 8 $new bo&t "ono w s th t yo& were s&pposed to get it *ro" $issing, which w s cle rly not the c se with 7 $e. 8 re d thro&gh the sy"pto"s H&ic$ly3the *ever he de*initely h d, b&t wh t bo&t the rest o* itK No horrible sore thro t, no exh &stion, no he d ches, t le st not be*ore heFd gone ho"e *ro" the "ovieG heFd s id he *elt L*it s *iddle.L Did it re lly co"e on so * stK The rticle " de it so&nd li$e the sore st&** showed &p *irst. 8 gl red t the co"p&ter screen nd wondered why, ex ctly, 8 w s doing this. -hy did 8 *eel soN so suspicious, li$e 8 didnFt believe BillyFs storyK -hy wo&ld Billy lie to # rryK 8 w s being silly, prob bly. 8 w s J&st worried, nd, to be honest, 8 w s *r id o* not being llowed to see 7 cob3th t " de "e nervo&s. 8 s$i""ed thro&gh the rest o* the rticle, loo$ing *or "ore in*or" tion. 8 stopped when 8 got to the p rt bo&t how "ono co&ld l st "ore th n "onth. A monthK My "o&th *ell open. B&t Billy co&ldnFt en*orce the no6visitors thing th t long. E* co&rse not. 7 $e wo&ld go cr Iy st&c$ in bed th t long witho&t nyone to t l$ to. -h t w s Billy *r id o*, nyw yK The rticle s id th t person with "ono needed to void physic l ctivity, b&t there w s nothing bo&t visitors. The dise se w snFt very in*ectio&s. 8Fd give Billy wee$, 8 decided, be*ore 8 got p&shy. A wee$ w s genero&s. A wee$ w s long. By -ednesd y, 8 w s s&re 8 w snFt going to live till S t&rd y. -hen 8Fd decided to le ve Billy nd 7 cob lone *or wee$, 8 h dnFt re lly believed th t 7 cob wo&ld go long with BillyFs r&le. 0very d y when 8 got ho"e *ro" school, 8 r n to the phone to chec$ *or "ess ges. There never were ny. 8 che ted three ti"es by trying to c ll hi", b&t the phone lines still werenFt wor$ing. 8 w s in the ho&se "&ch too "&ch, nd "&ch too lone. -itho&t 7 cob, nd "y dren line nd "y distr ctions, everything 8Fd been repressing st rted creeping &p on "e. The dre "s got h rd g in. 8 co&ld no longer see the end co"ing. 7&st the horrible nothingness3h l* the ti"e in the *orest, h l* the ti"e in the e"pty *ern se where the white ho&se no longer existed. So"eti"es S " 'ley w s there in the *orest, w tching "e g in. 8 p id hi" no ttention3there w s no co"*ort in his presenceG it " de "e *eel no less lone. 8t didnFt stop "e *ro" scre "ing "ysel* w $e, night *ter night. The hole in "y chest w s worse th n ever. 8Fd tho&ght th t 8Fd been getting it &nder control, b&t 8 *o&nd "ysel* h&nched over, d y *ter d y, cl&tching "y sides together nd g sping *or ir. 8 w snFt h ndling lone well. 8 w s relieved beyond "e s&re the "orning 8 wo$e &p3scre "ing, o* co&rse3 nd re"e"bered th t it w s S t&rd y. Tod y 8 co&ld c ll 7 cob. And i* the phone lines still werenFt wor$ing, then 8 w s going to L ?&sh. Ene w y or nother, tod y wo&ld be better th n the l st lonely wee$.
8 di led, nd then w ited witho&t high expect tions. 8t c &ght "e o** g& rd when Billy nswered on the second ring. L#elloKL LEh, hey, the phone is wor$ing g inM #i, Billy. 8tFs Bell . 8 w s J&st c lling to see how 7 cob is doing. 8s he &p *or visitors yetK 8 w s thin$ing bo&t dropping by3L L8F" sorry, Bell ,L Billy interr&pted, nd 8 wondered i* he were w tching T,G he so&nded distr cted. L#eFs not in.L LEh.L 8t too$ "e second. LSo heFs *eeling better thenKL L+e h,L Billy hesit ted *or n inst nt too long. LT&rns o&t it w snFt "ono *ter ll. 7&st so"e other vir&s.L LEh. SoN where is heKL L#eFs giving so"e *riends ride &p to ?ort Angeles38 thin$ they were going to c tch do&ble *e t&re or so"ething. #eFs gone *or the whole d y.L L-ell, th tFs relie*. 8Fve been so worried. 8F" gl d he *elt good eno&gh to get o&t.L My voice so&nded horribly phony s 8 b bbled on. 7 cob w s better, b&t not well eno&gh to c ll "e. #e w s o&t with *riends. 8 w s sitting ho"e, "issing hi" "ore every ho&r. 8 w s lonely, worried, boredN per*or ted3 nd now lso desol te s 8 re liIed th t the wee$ p rt h d not h d the s "e e**ect on hi". L8s there nything in p rtic&l r yo& w ntedKL Billy s$ed politely. LNo, not re lly.L L-ell, 8Fll tell hi" th t yo& c lled,L Billy pro"ised. LBye, Bell .L LBye,L 8 replied, b&t heFd lre dy h&ng &p. 8 stood *or "o"ent with the phone still in "y h nd. 7 cob "&st h ve ch nged his "ind, J&st li$e 8Fd *e red. #e w s going to t $e "y dvice nd not w ste ny "ore ti"e on so"eone who co&ldnFt ret&rn his *eelings. 8 *elt the blood r&n o&t o* "y * ce. LSo"ething wrongKL !h rlie s$ed s he c "e down the st irs. LNo,L 8 lied, h nging &p the phone. LBilly s ys 7 cob is *eeling better. 8t w snFt "ono. So th tFs good.L L8s he co"ing here, or re yo& going thereKL !h rlie s$ed bsent"indedly s he st rted po$ing thro&gh the *ridge. LNeither,L 8 d"itted. L#eFs going o&t with so"e other *riends.L
The tone o* "y voice *in lly c &ght !h rlieFs ttention. #e loo$ed &p t "e with s&dden l r", his h nds *roIen ro&nd p c$ ge o* cheese slices. L8snFt it little e rly *or l&nchKL 8 s$ed s lightly s 8 co&ld " n ge, trying to distr ct hi". LNo, 8F" J&st p c$ing so"ething to t $e o&t to the riverNL LEh, *ishing tod yKL L-ell, # rry c lledN nd itFs not r ining.L #e w s cre ting st c$ o* *ood on the co&nter s he spo$e. S&ddenly he loo$ed &p g in s i* heFd J&st re liIed so"ething. LS y, did yo& w nt "e to st y with yo&, since 7 $eFs o&tKL LTh tFs o$ y, D d,L 8 s id, wor$ing to so&nd indi**erent. LThe *ish bite better when the we therFs nice.L #e st red t "e, indecision cle r on his * ce. 8 $new th t he w s worrying, *r id to le ve "e lone, in c se 8 got L"opeyL g in. LSerio&sly, D d. 8 thin$ 8Fll c ll 7essic ,L 8 *ibbed H&ic$ly. 8Fd r ther be lone th n h ve hi" w tching "e ll d y. L-e h ve ! lc&l&s test to st&dy *or. 8 co&ld &se her help.L Th t p rt w s tr&e. B&t 8Fd h ve to " $e do witho&t it. LTh tFs good ide . +o&Fve been spending so "&ch ti"e with 7 cob, yo&r other *riends re going to thin$ yo&Fve *orgotten the".L 8 s"iled nd nodded s i* 8 c red wh t "y other *riends tho&ght. !h rlie st rted to t&rn, b&t then sp&n b c$ with worried expression. L#ey, yo&Fll st&dy here or t 7essFs, rightKL LS&re, where elseKL L-ell, itFs J&st th t 8 w nt yo& to be c re*&l to st y o&t o* the woods, li$e 8 told yo& be*ore.L 8t too$ "e "in&te to &nderst nd, distr cted s 8 w s. LMore be r tro&bleKL !h rlie nodded, *rowning. L-eFve got "issing hi$er3the r ngers *o&nd his c "p e rly this "orning, b&t no sign o* hi". There were so"e re lly big ni" l printsN o* co&rse those co&ld h ve co"e l ter, s"elling the *oodN Anyw y, theyFre setting tr ps *or it now.L LEh,L 8 s id v g&ely. 8 w snFt re lly listening to his w rningsG 8 w s "&ch "ore &pset by the sit& tion with 7 cob th n by the possibility o* being e ten by be r. 8 w s gl d th t !h rlie w s in h&rry. #e didnFt w it *or "e to c ll 7essic , so 8 didnFt h ve to p&t on th t ch r de. 8 went thro&gh the "otions o* g thering "y school6boo$s on the $itchen t ble to p c$ the" in "y b gG th t w s prob bly too "&ch, nd i* he h dnFt been e ger to hit the holes, it "ight h ve " de hi" s&spicio&s. 8 w s so b&sy loo$ing b&sy th t the *erocio&sly e"pty d y he d didnFt re lly cr sh down on "e &ntil *ter 8Fd w tched hi" drive w y. 8t only too$ bo&t two "in&tes o* st ring t the silent $itchen phone to decide th t 8 w snFt st ying ho"e tod y. 8 considered "y options.
8 w snFt going to c ll 7essic . As * r s 8 co&ld tell, 7essic h d crossed over to the d r$ side. 8 co&ld drive to L ?&sh nd get "y "otorcycle3 n ppe ling tho&ght b&t *or one "inor proble"O who w s going to drive "e to the e"ergency roo" i* 8 needed it *terw rdK ErN 8 lre dy h d o&r " p nd co"p ss in the tr&c$. 8 w s pretty s&re 8 &nderstood the process well eno&gh by now th t 8 wo&ldnFt get lost. M ybe 8 co&ld eli"in te two lines tod y, p&tting &s he d o* sched&le *or whenever 7 cob decided to honor "e with his presence g in. 8 re*&sed to thin$ bo&t how long th t "ight be. Er i* it w s going to be never. 8 *elt brie* twinge o* g&ilt s 8 re liIed how !h rlie wo&ld *eel bo&t this, b&t 8 ignored it. 8 J&st co&ldnFt st y in the ho&se g in tod y. A *ew "in&tes l ter 8 w s on the * "ili r dirt ro d th t led to nowhere in p rtic&l r. 8 h d the windows rolled down nd 8 drove s * st s w s he lthy *or "y tr&c$, trying to enJoy the wind g inst "y * ce. 8t w s clo&dy, b&t l"ost dry3 very nice d y, *or /or$s. %etting st rted too$ "e longer th n it wo&ld h ve t $en 7 cob. A*ter 8 p r$ed in the &s& l spot, 8 h d to spend good *i*teen "in&tes st&dying the little needle on the co"p ss * ce nd the " r$ings on the now worn " p. -hen 8 w s re son bly cert in th t 8 w s *ollowing the right line o* the web, 8 set o** into the woods. The *orest w s *&ll o* li*e tod y, ll the little cre t&res enJoying the "o"ent ry dryness. So"ehow, tho&gh, even with the birds chirping nd c wing, the insects b&IIing noisily ro&nd "y he d, nd the occ sion l sc&rry o* the *ield "ice thro&gh the shr&bs, the *orest see"ed creepier tod yG it re"inded "e o* "y "ost recent night" re. 8 $new it w s J&st bec &se 8 w s lone, "issing 7 cobFs c re*ree whistle nd the so&nd o* nother p ir o* *eet sH&ishing cross the d "p gro&nd. The sense o* &ne se grew stronger the deeper 8 got into the trees. Bre thing st rted to get "ore di**ic&lt3not bec &se o* exertion, b&t bec &se 8 w s h ving tro&ble with the st&pid hole in "y chest g in. 8 $ept "y r"s tight ro&nd "y torso nd tried to b nish the che *ro" "y tho&ghts. 8 l"ost t&rned ro&nd, b&t 8 h ted to w ste the e**ort 8Fd lre dy expended. The rhyth" o* "y *ootsteps st rted to n&"b "y "ind nd "y p in s 8 tr&dged on. My bre thing evened o&t event& lly, nd 8 w s gl d 8 h dnFt H&it. 8 w s getting better t this b&shwh c$ing thingG 8 co&ld tell 8 w s * ster. 8 didnFt re liIe H&ite how "&ch "ore e**iciently 8 w s "oving. 8 tho&ght 8Fd covered " ybe *o&r "iles, nd 8 w snFt even st rting to loo$ ro&nd *or it yet. And then, with n br&ptness th t disoriented "e, 8 stepped thro&gh low rch " de by two vine " ples3p&shing p st the chest6 high *erns3into the "e dow. 8t w s the s "e pl ce, o* th t 8 w s inst ntly s&re. 8Fd never seen nother cle ring so sy""etric l. 8t w s s per*ectly ro&nd s i* so"eone h d intention lly cre ted the *l wless circle, te ring o&t the trees b&t le ving no evidence o* th t violence in the w ving gr ss. To the e st, 8 co&ld he r the stre " b&bbling H&ietly. The pl ce w snFt ne rly so st&nning witho&t the s&nlight, b&t it w s still very be &ti*&l nd serene. 8t w s the wrong se son *or wild*lowersG the gro&nd w s thic$ with t ll gr ss th t sw yed in the light breeIe li$e ripples cross l $e.
8t w s the s "e pl ceN b&t it didnFt hold wh t 8 h d been se rching *or. The dis ppoint"ent w s ne rly s inst nt neo&s s the recognition. 8 s n$ down right where 8 w s, $neeling there t the edge o* the cle ring, beginning to g sp. -h t w s the point o* going ny * rtherK Nothing lingered here. Nothing "ore th n the "e"ories th t 8 co&ld h ve c lled b c$ whenever 8 w nted to, i* 8 w s ever willing to end&re the corresponding p in3the p in th t h d "e now, h d "e cold. There w s nothing speci l bo&t this pl ce witho&t him. 8 w snFt ex ctly s&re wh t 8Fd hoped to *eel here, b&t the "e dow w s e"pty o* t"osphere, e"pty o* everything, J&st li$e everywhere else. 7&st li$e "y night" res. My he d swirled diIIily. At le st 8Fd co"e lone. 8 *elt r&sh o* th n$*&lness s 8 re liIed th t. 8* 8Fd discovered the "e dow with 7 cobN well, there w s no w y 8 co&ld h ve disg&ised the byss 8 w s pl&nging into now. #ow co&ld 8 h ve expl ined the w y 8 w s *r ct&ring into pieces, the w y 8 h d to c&rl into b ll to $eep the e"pty hole *ro" te ring "e p rtK 8t w s so "&ch better th t 8 didnFt h ve n &dience. And 8 wo&ldnFt h ve to expl in to nyone why 8 w s in s&ch h&rry to le ve, either. 7 cob wo&ld h ve ss&"ed, *ter going to so "&ch tro&ble to loc te the st&pid pl ce, 8 wo&ld w nt to spend "ore th n *ew seconds here. B&t 8 w s lre dy trying to *ind the strength to get to "y *eet g in, *orcing "ysel* o&t o* the b ll so th t 8 co&ld esc pe. There w s too "&ch p in in this e"pty pl ce to be r38 wo&ld cr wl w y i* 8 h d to. #ow l&c$y th t 8 w s loneM Alone. 8 repe ted the word with gri" s tis* ction s 8 wrenched "ysel* to "y *eet despite the p in. At precisely th t "o"ent, *ig&re stepped o&t *ro" the trees to the north, so"e thirty p ces w y. A diIIying rr y o* e"otions shot thro&gh "e in second. The *irst w s s&rpriseG 8 w s * r *ro" ny tr il here, nd 8 didnFt expect co"p ny. Then, s "y eyes *oc&sed on the "otionless *ig&re, seeing the &tter stillness, the p llid s$in, r&sh o* piercing hope roc$ed thro&gh "e. 8 s&ppressed it vicio&sly, *ighting g inst the eH& lly sh rp l sh o* gony s "y eyes contin&ed to the * ce bene th the bl c$ h ir, the * ce th t w snFt the one 8 w nted to see. Next w s *e rG this w s not the * ce 8 grieved *or, b&t it w s close eno&gh *or "e to $now th t the " n * cing "e w s no str y hi$er. And *in lly, in the end, recognition. LL &rentML 8 cried in s&rprised ple s&re. 8t w s n irr tion l response. 8 prob bly sho&ld h ve stopped t *e r. L &rent h d been one o* 7 "esFs coven when weFd *irst "et. #e h dnFt been involved with the h&nt th t *ollowed3the h&nt where 8 w s the H& rry3b&t th t w s only bec &se he w s *r idG 8 w s protected by bigger coven th n his own. 8t wo&ld h ve been di**erent i* th t w snFt the c se 3heFd h d no co"p&nctions, t the ti"e, g inst " $ing "e l o* "e. E* co&rse, he "&st h ve ch nged, bec &se heFd gone to Al s$ to live with the other civiliIed coven there, the other * "ily th t re*&sed to drin$ h&" n blood *or ethic l re sons. The other * "ily li$eN b&t 8 co&ldnFt let "ysel* thin$ the n "e.
+es, *e r wo&ld h ve " de "ore sense, b&t ll 8 *elt w s n overwhel"ing s tis* ction. The "e dow w s " gic pl ce g in. A d r$er " gic th n 8Fd expected, to be s&re, b&t " gic ll the s "e. #ere w s the connection 8Fd so&ght. The proo*, however re"ote, th t3so"ewhere in the s "e world where 8 lived3he did exist. 8t w s i"possible how ex ctly the s "e L &rent loo$ed. 8 s&ppose it w s very silly nd h&" n to expect so"e $ind o* ch nge in the l st ye r. B&t there w s so"ethingN 8 co&ldnFt H&ite p&t "y *inger on it. LBell KL he s$ed, loo$ing "ore stonished th n 8 *elt. L+o& re"e"ber.L 8 s"iled. 8t w s ridic&lo&s th t 8 sho&ld be so el ted bec &se v "pire $new "y n "e. #e grinned. L8 didnFt expect to see yo& here.L #e strolled tow rd "e, his expression be"&sed. L8snFt it the other w y ro&ndK 8 do live here. 8 tho&ght yo&Fd gone to Al s$ .L #e stopped bo&t ten p ces w y, coc$ing his he d to the side. #is * ce w s the "ost be &ti*&l * ce 8Fd seen in wh t *elt li$e n eternity. 8 st&died his *e t&res with str ngely greedy sense o* rele se. #ere w s so"eone 8 didnFt h ve to pretend *or3so"eone who lre dy $new everything 8 co&ld never s y. L+o&Fre right,L he greed. L8 did go to Al s$ . Still, 8 didnFt expectN -hen 8 *o&nd the !&llen pl ce e"pty, 8 tho&ght theyFd "oved on.L LEh.L 8 bit "y lip s the n "e set the r w edges o* "y wo&nd throbbing. 8t too$ "e second to co"pose "ysel*. L &rent w ited with c&rio&s eyes. LThey did "ove on,L 8 *in lly " n ged to tell hi". L#"",L he "&r"&red. L8F" s&rprised they le*t yo& behind. -erenFt yo& sort o* pet o* theirsKL #is eyes were innocent o* ny intended o**ense. 8 s"iled wryly. LSo"ething li$e th t.L L#"",L he s id, tho&ght*&l g in. At th t precise "o"ent, 8 re liIed why he loo$ed the s "e3too much the s "e. A*ter ! rlisle told &s th t L &rent h d st yed with T ny Fs * "ily, 8Fd beg&n to pict&re hi", on the r re occ sions th t 8 tho&ght o* hi" t ll, with the s "e golden eyes th t theN !&llens38 *orced the n "e o&t, wincing3h d. Th t ll good v "pires h d. 8 too$ n invol&nt ry step b c$, nd his c&rio&s, d r$ red eyes *ollowed the "ove"ent. LDo they visit o*tenKL he s$ed, still c s& l, b&t his weight shi*ted tow rd "e. LLie,L the be &ti*&l velvet voice whispered nxio&sly *ro" "y "e"ory. 8 st rted t the so&nd o* his voice, b&t it sho&ld not h ve s&rprised "e. - s 8 nor in the worst d nger i" gin bleK The "otorcycle w s s *e s $ittens next to this.
8 did wh t the voice s id to do. LNow nd g in.L 8 tried to " $e "y voice light, rel xed. LThe ti"e see"s longer to "e, 8 i" gine. +o& $now how they get distr ctedNL 8 w s beginning to b bble. 8 h d to wor$ to sh&t "ysel* &p. L#"",L he s id g in. LThe ho&se s"elled li$e it h d been v c nt *or whileNL L+o& "&st lie better th n th t, Bell ,L the voice &rged. 8 tried. L8Fll h ve to "ention to ! rlisle th t yo& stopped by. #eFll be sorry they "issed yo&r visit.L 8 pretended to deliber te *or second. LB&t 8 prob bly sho&ldnFt "ention it toN 0dw rd, 8 s&ppose3L 8 b rely " n ged to s y his n "e, nd it twisted "y expression on the w y o&t, r&ining "y bl&** L3he h s s&ch te"perN well, 8F" s&re yo& re"e"ber. #eFs still to&chy bo&t the whole 7 "es thing.L 8 rolled "y eyes nd w ved one h nd dis"issively, li$e it w s ll ncient history, b&t there w s n edge o* hysteri to "y voice. 8 wondered i* he wo&ld recogniIe wh t it w s. L8s he re llyKL L &rent s$ed ple s ntlyN s$eptic lly. 8 $ept "y reply short, so th t "y voice wo&ldnFt betr y "y p nic. LM"6h"".L L &rent too$ c s& l step to the side, g Iing ro&nd t the little "e dow. 8 didnFt "iss th t the step bro&ght hi" closer to "e. 8n "y he d, the voice responded with low sn rl. LSo how re things wor$ing o&t in Den liK ! rlisle s id yo& were st ying with T ny KL My voice w s too high. The H&estion " de hi" p &se. L8 li$e T ny very "&ch,L he "&sed. LAnd her sister 8rin even "oreN 8Fve never st yed in one pl ce *or so long be*ore, nd 8 enJoy the dv nt ges, the novelty o* it. B&t, the restrictions re di**ic&ltN 8F" s&rprised th t ny o* the" c n $eep it &p *or long.L #e s"iled t "e conspir tori lly. LSo"eti"es 8 che t.L 8 co&ldnFt sw llow. My *oot st rted to e se b c$, b&t 8 *roIe when his red eyes *lic$ered down to c tch the "ove"ent. LEh,L 8 s id in * int voice. L7 sper h s proble"s with th t, too.L LDonFt "ove,L the voice whispered. 8 tried to do wh t he instr&cted. 8t w s h rdG the instinct to t $e *light w s ne rly &ncontroll ble. LBe llyKL L &rent see"ed interested. L8s th t why they le*tKL LNo,L 8 nswered honestly. L7 sper is "ore c re*&l t ho"e.L L+es,L L &rent greed. L8 ", too.L The step *orw rd he too$ now w s H&ite deliber te. LDid ,ictori ever *ind yo&KL 8 s$ed, bre thless, desper te to distr ct hi". 8t w s the *irst H&estion th t popped into "y he d, nd 8 regretted it s soon s the words were spo$en. ,ictori
3who had h&nted "e with 7 "es, nd then dis ppe red3w s not so"eone 8 w nted to thin$ o* t this p rtic&l r "o"ent. B&t the H&estion did stop hi". L+es,L he s id, hesit ting on th t step. L8 ct& lly c "e here s * vor to her.L #e " de * ce. LShe wonFt be h ppy bo&t this.L LAbo&t wh tKL 8 s id e gerly, inviting hi" to contin&e. #e w s gl ring into the trees, w y *ro" "e. 8 too$ dv nt ge o* his diversion, t $ing *&rtive step b c$. #e loo$ed b c$ t "e nd s"iled3the expression " de hi" loo$ li$e bl c$6h ired ngel. LAbo&t "e $illing yo&,L he nswered in sed&ctive p&rr. 8 st ggered b c$ nother step. The *r ntic growling in "y he d " de it h rd to he r. LShe w nted to s ve th t p rt *or hersel*,L he went on blithely. LSheFs sort o*N p&t o&t with yo&, Bell .L LMeKL 8 sH&e $ed. #e shoo$ his he d nd ch&c$led. L8 $now, it see"s little b c$w rd to "e, too. B&t 7 "es w s her " te, nd yo&r 0dw rd $illed hi".L 0ven here, on the point o* de th, his n "e tore g inst "y &nhe led wo&nds li$e serr ted edge. L &rent w s oblivio&s to "y re ction. LShe tho&ght it "ore ppropri te to $ill yo& th n 0dw rd 3* ir t&rn bo&t, " te *or " te. She s$ed "e to get the l y o* the l nd *or her, so to spe $. 8 didnFt i" gine yo& wo&ld be so e sy to get to. So " ybe her pl n w s *l wed3 pp rently it wo&ldnFt be the revenge she i" gined, since yo& "&st not "e n very "&ch to hi" i* he le*t yo& here &nprotected.L Another blow, nother te r thro&gh "y chest. L &rentFs weight shi*ted slightly, nd 8 st&"bled nother step b c$. #e *rowned. L8 s&ppose sheFll be ngry, ll the s "e.L LThen why not w it *or herKL 8 cho$ed o&t. A "ischievo&s grin re rr nged his *e t&res. L-ell, yo&Fve c &ght "e t b d ti"e, Bell . 8 didnFt co"e to this pl ce on ,ictori Fs "ission38 w s h&nting. 8F" H&ite thirsty, nd yo& do s"ellN si"ply "o&thw tering.L L &rent loo$ed t "e with pprov l, s i* he "e nt it s co"pli"ent. LThre ten hi",L the be &ti*&l del&sion ordered, his voice distorted with dre d. L#eFll $now it w s yo&,L 8 whispered obediently. L+o& wonFt get w y with this.L
LAnd why notKL L &rentFs s"ile widened. #e g Ied ro&nd the s" ll opening in the trees. LThe scent will w sh w y with the next r in. No one will *ind yo&r body3yo&Fll si"ply go "issing, li$e so " ny, " ny other h&" ns. ThereFs no re son *or 0dw rd to thin$ o* "e, if he c res eno&gh to investig te. This is nothing person l, let "e ss&re yo&, Bell . 7&st thirst.L LBeg,L "y h ll&cin tion begged. L?le se,L 8 g sped. L &rent shoo$ his he d, his * ce $ind. LLoo$ t it this w y, Bell . +o&Fre very l&c$y 8 w s the one to *ind yo&.L LA" 8KL 8 "o&thed, * ltering nother step b c$. L &rent *ollowed, lithe nd gr ce*&l. L+es,L he ss&red "e. L8Fll be very H&ic$. +o& wonFt *eel thing, 8 pro"ise. Eh, 8Fll lie to ,ictori bo&t th t l ter, n t&r lly, J&st to pl c te her. B&t i* yo& $new wh t she h d pl nned *or yo&, Bell NL #e shoo$ his he d with slow "ove"ent, l"ost s i* in disg&st. L8 swe r yo&Fd be th n$ing "e *or this.L 8 st red t hi" in horror. #e sni**ed t the breeIe th t blew thre ds o* "y h ir in his direction. LMo&thw tering,L he repe ted, inh ling deeply. 8 tensed *or the spring, "y eyes sH&inting s 8 cringed w y, nd the so&nd o* 0dw rdFs *&rio&s ro r echoed dist ntly in the b c$ o* "y he d. #is n "e b&rst thro&gh ll the w lls 8Fd b&ilt to cont in it. 1d ard, 1d ard, 1d ard. 8 w s going to die. 8t sho&ldnFt " tter i* 8 tho&ght o* hi" now. 1d ard, I love you. Thro&gh "y n rrowed eyes, 8 w tched s L &rent p &sed in the ct o* inh ling nd whipped his he d br&ptly to the le*t. 8 w s *r id to loo$ w y *ro" hi", to *ollow his gl nce, tho&gh he h rdly needed distr ction or ny other tric$ to overpower "e. 8 w s too " Ied to *eel relie* when he st rted slowly b c$ing w y *ro" "e. L8 donFt believe it,L he s id, his voice so low th t 8 b rely he rd it. 8 h d to loo$ then. My eyes sc nned the "e dow, se rching *or the interr&ption th t h d extended "y li*e by *ew seconds. At *irst 8 s w nothing, nd "y g Ie *lic$ered b c$ to L &rent. #e w s retre ting "ore H&ic$ly now, his eyes boring into the *orest. Then 8 s w itG h&ge bl c$ sh pe e sed o&t o* the trees, H&iet s sh dow, nd st l$ed deliber tely tow rd the v "pire. 8t w s enor"o&s3 s t ll s horse, b&t thic$er, "&ch "ore "&sc&l r. The long "&IIle gri" ced, reve ling line o* d gger6li$e incisors. A grisly sn rl rolled o&t *ro" between the teeth, r&"bling cross the cle ring li$e prolonged cr c$ o* th&nder. The be r. Enly, it w snFt be r t ll. Still, this gig ntic bl c$ "onster h d to be the cre t&re c &sing ll the l r". /ro" dist nce, nyone wo&ld ss&"e it w s be r. -h t else co&ld be so v st, so power*&lly b&iltK
8 wished 8 were l&c$y eno&gh to see it *ro" dist nce. 8nste d, it p dded silently thro&gh the gr ss "ere ten *eet *ro" where 8 stood. LDonFt "ove n inch,L 0dw rdFs voice whispered. 8 st red t the "onstro&s cre t&re, "y "ind boggling s 8 tried to p&t n "e to it. There w s distinctly c nine c st to the sh pe o* it, the w y it "oved. 8 co&ld only thin$ o* one possibility, loc$ed in horror s 8 w s. +et 8Fd never i" gined th t wol* co&ld get so big. Another growl r&"bled in its thro t, nd 8 sh&ddered w y *ro" the so&nd. L &rent w s b c$ing tow rd the edge o* the trees, nd, &nder the *reeIing terror, con*&sion swept thro&gh "e. -hy w s L &rent retre tingK %r nted, the wol* w s "onstro&s in siIe, b&t it w s J&st n ni" l. -h t re son wo&ld v "pire h ve *or *e ring n ni" lK And L &rent as *r id. #is eyes were wide with horror, J&st li$e "ine. As i* in nswer to "y H&estion, s&ddenly the " ""oth wol* w s not lone. /l n$ing it on either side, nother two gig ntic be sts prowled silently into the "e dow. Ene w s deep gr y, the other brown, neither one H&ite s t ll s the *irst. The gr y wol* c "e thro&gh the trees only *ew feet *ro" "e, its eyes loc$ed on L &rent. Be*ore 8 co&ld even re ct, two "ore wolves *ollowed, lined &p in ,, li$e geese *lying so&th. -hich "e nt th t the r&sty brown "onster th t shr&gged thro&gh the br&sh l st w s close eno&gh *or "e to to&ch. 8 g ve n invol&nt ry g sp nd J&"ped b c$3which w s the st&pidest thing 8 co&ld h ve done. 8 *roIe g in, w iting *or the wolves to t&rn on "e, the "&ch we $er o* the v il ble prey. 8 wished brie*ly th t L &rent wo&ld get on with it nd cr&sh the wol* p c$3it sho&ld be so si"ple *or hi". 8 g&essed th t, between the two choices be*ore "e, being e ten by wolves w s l"ost cert inly the worse option. The wol* closest to "e, the reddish brown one, t&rned its he d slightly t the so&nd o* "y g sp. The wol*Fs eyes were d r$, ne rly bl c$. 8t g Ied t "e *or *r ction o* second, the deep eyes see"ing too intelligent *or wild ni" l. As it st red t "e, 8 s&ddenly tho&ght o* 7 cob3 g in, with gr tit&de. At le st 8Fd co"e here lone, to this * iryt le "e dow *illed with d r$ "onsters. At le st 7 cob w snFt going to die, too. At le st 8 wo&ldnFt h ve his de th on "y h nds. Then nother low growl *ro" the le der c &sed the r&sset wol* to whip his he d ro&nd, b c$ tow rd L &rent. L &rent w s st ring t the p c$ o* "onster wolves with &nconce led shoc$ nd *e r. The *irst 8 co&ld &nderst nd. B&t 8 w s st&nned when, witho&t w rning, he sp&n nd dis ppe red into the trees. 0e ran a ay. The wolves were *ter hi" in second, sprinting cross the open gr ss with *ew power*&l bo&nds, sn rling nd sn pping so lo&dly th t "y h nds *lew &p instinctively to cover "y e rs. The so&nd * ded with s&rprising swi*tness once they dis ppe red into the woods.
And then 8 w s lone g in. My $nees b&c$led &nder "e, nd 8 *ell onto "y h nds, sobs b&ilding in "y thro t. 8 $new 8 needed to le ve, nd le ve now. #ow long wo&ld the wolves ch se L &rent be*ore they do&bled b c$ *or "eK Er wo&ld L &rent t&rn on the"K -o&ld he be the one th t c "e loo$ingK 8 co&ldnFt "ove t *irst, tho&ghG "y r"s nd legs were sh $ing, nd 8 didnFt $now how to get b c$ to "y *eet. My "ind co&ldnFt "ove p st the *e r, the horror or the con*&sion. 8 didnFt &nderst nd wh t 8Fd J&st witnessed. A v "pire sho&ld not h ve r&n *ro" overgrown dogs li$e th t. -h t good wo&ld their teeth be g inst his gr nite s$inK And the wolves sho&ld h ve given L &rent wide berth. 0ven i* their extr ordin ry siIe h d t &ght the" to *e r nothing, it still " de no sense th t they wo&ld p&rs&e hi". 8 do&bted his icy " rble s$in wo&ld s"ell nything li$e *ood. -hy wo&ld they p ss &p so"ething w r"blooded nd we $ li$e "e to ch se *ter L &rentK 8 co&ldnFt " $e it dd &p. A cold breeIe whipped thro&gh the "e dow, sw ying the gr ss li$e so"ething w s "oving thro&gh it. 8 scr "bled to "y feet, b c$ing w y even tho&gh the wind br&shed h r"lessly p st "e. St&"bling in p nic, 8 t&rned nd r n he dlong into the trees. The next *ew ho&rs were gony. 8t too$ "e three ti"es s long to esc pe the trees s it h d to get to the "e dow. At *irst 8 p id no ttention to where 8 w s he ded, *oc&sed only on wh t 8 w s r&nning *ro" By the ti"e 8 collected "ysel* eno&gh to re"e"ber the co"p ss, 8 w s deep in the &n* "ili r nd "en cing *orest. My h nds were sh $ing so violently th t 8 h d to set the co"p ss on the "&ddy gro&nd to be ble to re d it. 0very *ew "in&tes 8 wo&ld stop to p&t the co"p ss dowr nd chec$ th t 8 w s still he ding northwest, he ring3when the so&nds werenFt hidden behind the *r ntic sH&elching o* "y *ootsteps3the H&iet whisper o* &nseen things "oving in the le ves. The c ll o* J ybird " de "e le p b c$ nd * ll into thic$ st nd o* yo&ng spr&ce, scr ping &p "y r"s nd t ngling "y h ir with s p. The s&dden r&sh o* sH&irrel &p he"loc$ " de "e scre " so lo&d it h&rt "y own e rs. At l st there w s bre $ in the trees he d. 8 c "e o&t onto the e"pty ro d "ile or so so&th o* where 8Fd le*t the tr&c$. 0xh &sted s 8 w s, 8 Jogged &p the l ne &ntil 8 *o&nd it. By the ti"e 8 p&lled "ysel* into the c b, 8 w s sobbing g in. 8 *iercely shoved down both sti** loc$s be*ore 8 d&g "y $eys o&t o* "y poc$et. The ro r o* the engine w s co"*orting nd s ne. 8t helped "e control the te rs s 8 sped s * st s "y tr&c$ wo&ld llow tow rd the " in highw y. 8 w s c l"er, b&t still "ess when 8 got ho"e. !h rlieFs cr&iser w s in the drivew y38 h dnFt re liIed how l te it w s. The s$y w s lre dy d&s$y.
LBell KL !h rlie s$ed when 8 sl ""ed the *ront door behind "e nd h stily t&rned the loc$s. L+e h, itFs "e.L My voice w s &nste dy. L-here h ve yo& beenKL he th&ndered, ppe ring thro&gh the $itchen doorw y with n o"ino&s expression. 8 hesit ted. #eFd prob bly c lled the St nleys. 8Fd better stic$ to the tr&th. L8 w s hi$ing,L 8 d"itted. #is eyes were tight. L-h t h ppened to going to 7essic FsKL L8 didnFt *eel li$e ! lc&l&s tod y.L !h rlie *olded his r"s cross his chest. L8 tho&ght 8 s$ed yo& to st y o&t o* the *orest.L L+e h, 8 $now. DonFt worry, 8 wonFt do it g in.L 8 sh&ddered. !h rlie see"ed to re lly loo$ t "e *or the *irst ti"e. 8 re"e"bered th t 8 h d spent so"e ti"e on the *orest *loor tod yG 8 "&st be "ess. L-h t h ppenedKL !h rlie de" nded. Ag in, 8 decided th t the tr&th, or p rt o* it nyw y, w s the best option. 8 w s too sh $en to pretend th t 8Fd spent n &nevent*&l d y with the *lor nd * &n . L8 s w the be r.L 8 tried to s y it c l"ly, b&t "y voice w s high nd sh $y. L8tFs not be r, tho&gh3itFs so"e $ind o* wol*. And there re *ive o* the". A big bl c$ one, nd gr y, nd reddish6brownNL !h rlieFs eyes grew ro&nd with horror. #e strode H&ic$ly to "e nd gr bbed the tops o* "y r"s. LAre yo& o$ yKL My he d bobbed in we $ nod. LTell "e wh t h ppened.L LThey didnFt p y ny ttention to "e. B&t *tet they were gone, 8 r n w y nd 8 *ell down lot.L #e let go o* "y sho&lders nd wr pped his r"s ro&nd "e. /or long "o"ent, he didnFt s y nything. L-olves,L he "&r"&red. L-h tKL LThe r ngers s id the tr c$s were wrong *or be r3b&t wolves J&st donFt get th t bigNL LThese were huge.L
L#ow " ny did yo& s y yo& s wKL L/ive.L !h rlie shoo$ his he d, *rowning with nxiety, #e *in lly spo$e in tone th t llowed no rg&"ent. LNo "ore hi$ing.L LNo proble",L 8 pro"ised *ervently. !h rlie c lled the st tion to report wh t 8Fd seen. 8 *&dged little bit bo&t where ex ctly 8Fd seen the wolves3cl i"ing 8Fd been on the tr il th t led to the north. 8 didnFt w nt "y d d to $now how deep 8Fd gone into the *orest g inst his wishes, nd, "ore i"port ntly, 8 didnFt w nt nyone w ndering ne r where L &rent "ight be se rching *or "e. The tho&ght o* it " de "e *eel sic$. LAre yo& h&ngryKL he s$ed "e when he h&ng &p the phone. 8 shoo$ "y he d, tho&gh 8 "&st h ve been st rving. 8 h dnFt e ten ll d y. L7&st tired,L 8 told hi". 8 t&rned *or the st irs. L#ey,L !h rlie s id, his voice s&ddenly s&spicio&s g in. LDidnFt yo& s y 7 cob w s gone *or the d yKL LTh tFs wh t Billy s id,L 8 told hi", con*&sed by his H&estion. #e st&died "y expression *or "in&te, nd see"ed s tis*ied with wh t he s w there. L#&h.L L-hyKL 8 de" nded. 8t so&nded li$e he w s i"plying th t 8Fd been lying to hi" this "orning. Abo&t so"ething besides st&dying with 7essic . L-ell, itFs J&st th t when 8 went to pic$ &p # rry, 8 s w 7 cob o&t in *ront o* the store down there with so"e o* his *riends. 8 w ved hi, b&t heN well, 8 g&ess 8 donFt $now i* he s w "e. 8 thin$ " ybe he w s rg&ing with his *riends. #e loo$ed str nge, li$e he w s &pset bo&t so"ething. AndN di**erent. 8tFs li$e yo& c n w tch th t $id growingM #e gets bigger every ti"e 8 see hi".L LBilly s id 7 $e nd his *riends were going &p to ?ort Angeles to see so"e "ovies. They were prob bly J&st w iting *or so"eone to "eet the".L LEh.L !h rlie nodded nd he ded *or the $itchen. 8 stood in the h ll, thin$ing bo&t 7 cob rg&ing with his *riends. 8 wondered i* he h d con*ronted 0"bry bo&t the sit& tion with S ". M ybe th t w s the re son heFd ditched "e tod y3i* it "e nt he co&ld sort things o&t with 0"bry, 8 w s gl d he h d. 8 p &sed to chec$ the loc$s g in be*ore 8 went to "y roo". 8t w s silly thing to do. -h t di**erence wo&ld loc$ " $e to ny o* the "onsters 8Fd seen this *ternoonK 8 ss&"ed the h ndle lone wo&ld sty"ie the wolves, not h ving oppos ble th&"bs. And i* L &rent c "e hereN ErN "ictoria.
8 l y down on "y bed, b&t 8 w s sh $ing too h rd to hope *or sleep. 8 c&rled into cr "ped b ll &nder "y H&ilt, nd * ced the horri*ying * cts. There w s nothing 8 co&ld do. There were no prec &tions 8 co&ld t $e. There w s no pl ce 8 co&ld hide. There w s no one who co&ld help "e. 8 re liIed, with n &seo&s roll o* "y sto" ch, th t the sit& tion w s worse th n even th t. Bec &se ll those * cts pplied to !h rlie, too. My * ther, sleeping one roo" w y *ro" "e, w s J&st h irsbre dth o** the he rt o* the t rget th t w s centered on "e. My scent wo&ld le d the" here, whether 8 w s here or not. The tre"ors roc$ed "e &ntil "y teeth ch ttered. To c l" "ysel*, 8 * nt siIed the i"possibleO 8 i" gined the big wolves c tching &p to L &rent in the woods nd " ss cring the indestr&ctible i""ort l the w y they wo&ld ny nor" l person. Despite the bs&rdity o* s&ch vision, the ide co"*orted "e. 8* the wolves got hi", then he co&ldnFt tell ,ictori 8 w s here ll lone. 8* he didnFt ret&rn, " ybe sheFd thin$ the !&llens were still protecting "e. 8* only the wolves co&ld win s&ch *ightN My good v "pires were never co"ing b c$G how soothing it w s to i" gine th t the other $ind co&ld lso dis ppe r. 8 sH&eeIed "y eyes tight together nd w ited *or &nconscio&sness3 l"ost e ger *or "y night" re to st rt. Better th t th n the p le, be &ti*&l * ce th t s"iled t "e now *ro" behind "y lids. 8n "y i" gin tion, ,ictori Fs eyes were bl c$ with thirst, bright with nticip tion, nd her lips c&rled b c$ *ro" her gle "ing teeth in ple s&re. #er red h ir w s brilli nt s *ireG it blew ch otic lly ro&nd her wild * ce. L &rentFs words repe ted in "y he d. If you kne hat she had planned for you N
8 pressed "y *ist g inst "y "o&th to $eep *ro" scre "ing.
11. CU!T
0A!# T8M0 T#AT 8 E?0N0D M+ 0+0S TE T#0 MEBN8N% light nd re liIed 8Fd lived thro&gh nother night w s s&rprise to "e. A*ter the s&rprise wore o**, "y he rt wo&ld st rt to r ce nd "y p l"s wo&ld swe tG 8 co&ldnFt re lly bre the g in &ntil 8Fd gotten &p nd scert ined th t !h rlie h d s&rvived s well. 8 co&ld tell he w s worried3w tching "e J&"p t ny lo&d so&nd, or "y * ce s&ddenly go white *or no re son th t he co&ld see. /ro" the H&estions he s$ed now nd then, he see"ed to bl "e the ch nge on 7 cobFs contin&ed bsence. The terror th t w s lw ys *ore"ost in "y tho&ghts &s& lly distr cted "e *ro" the * ct th t nother wee$ h d p ssed, nd 7 cob still h dnFt c lled "e. B&t when 8 w s ble to concentr te on "y nor" l li*e3i* "y li*e w s re lly ever nor" l3this &pset "e.
8 "issed hi" horribly. 8t h d been b d eno&gh to be lone be*ore 8 w s sc red silly. Now, "ore th n ever, 8 ye rned *or his c re*ree l &gh nd his in*ectio&s grin. 8 needed the s *e s nity o* his ho"e" de g r ge nd his w r" h nd ro&nd "y cold *ingers. 8Fd h l* expected hi" to c ll on Mond y. 8* there h d been so"e progress with 0"bry, wo&ldnFt he w nt to report itK 8 w nted to believe th t it w s worry *or his *riend th t w s occ&pying ll his ti"e, not th t he w s J&st giving &p on "e. 8 c lled hi" T&esd y, b&t no one nswered. -ere the phone lines still h ving proble"sK Er h d Billy invested in c ller 8.D.K En -ednesd y 8 c lled every h l* ho&r &ntil *ter eleven t night, desper te to he r the w r"th o* 7 cobFs voice. Th&rsd y 8 s t in "y tr&c$ in *ront o* "y ho&se3with the loc$s p&shed down3$eys in h nd, *or solid ho&r. 8 w s rg&ing with "ysel*, trying to J&sti*y H&ic$ trip to L ?&sh, b&t 8 co&ldnFt do it. 8 $new th t L &rent h d gone b c$ to ,ictori by now. 8* 8 went to L ?&sh, 8 too$ the ch nce o* le ding one o* the" there. -h t i* they c &ght &p to "e when 7 $e w s ne rbyK As "&ch s it h&rt "e, 8 $new it w s better *or 7 cob th t he w s voiding "e. S *er *or hi". 8t w s b d eno&gh th t 8 co&ldnFt *ig&re o&t w y to $eep !h rlie s *e. Nightti"e w s the "ost li$ely ti"e th t they wo&ld co"e loo$ing ior "e, nd wh t co&ld 8 s y to get !h rlie o&t o* the ho&seK 8* 8 told hi" the tr&th, heFd h ve "e loc$ed &p in r&bber roo" so"ewhere. 8 wo&ld h ve end&red th t3welco"ed it, even3i* it co&ld h ve $ept hi" s *e. B&t ,ictori wo&ld still co"e to his ho&se *irst, loo$ing *or "e. M ybe, i* she *o&nd "e here, th t wo&ld be eno&gh *or her. M ybe she wo&ld J&st le ve when she w s done with "e. So 8 co&ldnFt r&n w y. 0ven i* 8 co&ld, where wo&ld 8 goK To BeneeK 8 sh&ddered t the tho&ght o* dr gging "y leth l sh dows into "y "otherFs s *e, s&nny world. 8 wo&ld never end nger her th t w y. The worry w s e ting hole in "y sto" ch. Soon 8 wo&ld h ve " tching p&nct&res. Th t night, !h rlie did "e nother * vor nd c lled # rry g in to see i* the Bl c$s were o&t o* town. # rry reported th t Billy h d ttended the co&ncil "eeting -ednesd y night, nd never "entioned nything bo&t le ving. !h rlie w rned "e not to " $e n&is nce o* "ysel*37 cob wo&ld c ll when he got ro&nd to it. /rid y *ternoon, s 8 drove ho"e *ro" school, it hit "e o&t o* the bl&e. 8 w snFt p ying ttention to the * "ili r ro d, letting the so&nd o* the engine de den "y br in nd silence the worries, when "y s&bconscio&s delivered verdict it "&st h ve been wor$ing on *or so"e ti"e witho&t "y $nowledge. As soon s 8 tho&ght o* it, 8 *elt re lly st&pid *or not seeing it sooner. S&re. 8Fd h d lot on "y "ind3reven&e6obsessed v "pires, gi nt "&t nt wolves, r gged hole in the center o* "y chest 3b&t when 8 l id the evidence o&t, it w s e"b rr ssingly obvio&s.
7 cob voiding "e. !h rlie s ying he loo$ed str nge, &pset. . . . BillyFs v g&e, &nhelp*&l nswers. #oly crow, 8 $new ex ctly wh t w s going on with 7 cob. 8t w s S " 'ley. 0ven "y night" res h d been trying to tell "e th t. S " h d gotten to 7 cob. -h tever w s h ppening to the other boys on the reserv tion h d re ched o&t nd stolen "y *riend. #eFd been s&c$ed into S "Fs c&lt. #e h dnFt given &p on "e t ll, 8 re liIed with r&sh o* *eeling. 8 let "y tr&c$ idle in *ront o* "y ho&se. -h t sho&ld 8 doK 8 weighed the d ngers g inst e ch other. 8* 8 went loo$ing *or 7 cob, 8 ris$ed the ch nce o* ,ictori or L &rent *inding "e with hi". 8* 8 didnFt go *ter hi", S " wo&ld p&ll hi" deeper into his *rightening, co"p&lsory g ng. M ybe it wo&ld be too l te i* 8 didnFt ct soon. 8t h d been wee$, nd no v "pires h d co"e *or "e yet. A wee$ w s "ore th n eno&gh ti"e *or the" to h ve ret&rned, so 8 "&st not be priority. Most li$ely, s 8Fd decided be*ore, they wo&ld co"e *or "e t night. The ch nces o* the" *ollowing "e to L ?&sh were "&ch lower th n the ch nce o* losing 7 cob to S ". 8t w s worth the d nger o* the secl&ded *orest ro d. This w s no idle visit to see wh t w s going on. 8 $new wh t w s going on. This w s resc&e "ission. 8 w s going to t l$ to 7 cob3$idn p hi" i* 8 h d to. 8Fd once seen ?BS show on deprogr ""ing the br inw shed. There h d to be so"e $ind o* c&re. 8 decided 8Fd better c ll !h rlie *irst. M ybe wh tever w s going on down in L ?&sh w s so"ething the police sho&ld be involved in. 8 d shed inside, in h&rry to be on "y w y. !h rlie nswered the phone it the st tion hi"sel*. L!hie* Sw n.L LD d, itFs Bell .L L-h tFs wrongKFL 8 co&ldnFt rg&e with his doo"sd y ss&"ption this ti"e. My voice w s sh $ing. L8F" worried bo&t 7 cob.L L-hyKL he s$ed, s&rprised by the &nexpected topic. L8 thin$N 8 thin$ so"ething weird is going on down t the reserv tion. 7 cob told "e bo&t so"e str nge st&** h ppening with the other boys his ge. Now heFs cting the s "e w y nd 8F" sc red.L L-h t $ind o* st&**KL #e &sed his pro*ession l, police b&siness voice. Th t w s goodG he w s t $ing "e serio&sly.
L/irst he w s sc red, nd then he w s voiding "e, nd nowN 8F" *r id heFs p rt o* th t biI rre g ng down there, S "Fs g ng. S " 'leyFs g ng.L LS " 'leyKL !h rlie repe ted, s&rprised g in. L+es.L !h rlieFs voice w s "ore rel xed when he nswered. L8 thin$ yo&Fve got it wrong, Bells. S " 'ley is gre t $id. -ell, heFs " n now. A good son. +o& sho&ld he r Billy t l$ bo&t hi". #eFs re lly doing wonders with the yo&th on the reserv tion. #eFs the one who3L !h rlie bro$e o** "id6sentence, nd 8 g&essed th t he h d been bo&t to " $e re*erence to the night 8Fd gotten lost in the woods. 8 "oved on H&ic$ly. LD d, itFs not li$e th t. 7 cob w s scared o* hi".L LDid yo& t l$ to Billy bo&t thisKL #e w s trying to soothe "e now. 8Fd lost hi" s soon s 8Fd "entioned S ". LBillyFs not concerned.L L-ell, Bell , then 8F" s&re itFs o$ y. 7 cobFs $idG he w s prob bly J&st "essing ro&nd. 8F" s&re heFs *ine. #e c nFt spend every w $ing "in&te with yo&, *ter ll.L LThis isnFt bo&t "e,L 8 insisted, b&t the b ttle w s lost. L8 donFt thin$ yo& need to worry bo&t this. Let Billy t $e c re o* 7 cob.L L!h rlieNL My voice w s st rting to so&nd whiney. LBells, 8 got lot on "y pl te right now. Two to&rists h ve gone "issing o** tr il o&tside crescent l $e.L There w s n nxio&s edge to his voice. LThis wol* proble" is getting o&t o* h nd.L 8 w s "o"ent rily distr cted3st&nned, re lly3by his news. There w s no w y the wolves co&ld h ve s&rvived " tch6&p with L &rentN LAre yo& s&re th tFs wh t h ppened to the"KL 8 s$ed. LA*r id so, honey. There w s3L #e hesit ted. LThere were tr c$s g in, ndN so"e blood this ti"e.L LEhML 8t "&st not h ve co"e to con*ront tion, then. L &rent "&st h ve si"ply o&tr&n the wolves, b&t whyK -h t 8Fd seen in the "e dow J&st got str nger nd str nger3"ore i"possible to &nderst nd. LLoo$, 8 re lly h ve to go. DonFt worry bo&t 7 $e, Bell . 8F" s&re itFs nothing.L L/ine,L 8 s id c&rtly, *r&str ted s his words re"inded "e o* the "ore &rgent crisis t h nd. LBye.L 8 h ng &p. 8 st red t the phone *or long "in&te. !hat the hell, 8 decided.
Billy nswered *ter two rings. L#elloKL L#ey, Billy,L 8 l"ost growled. 8 tried to so&nd "ore *riendly s 8 contin&ed. L! n 8 t l$ to 7 cob, ple seKL L7 $eFs not here.L -h t shoc$. LDo yo& $now where he isKL L#eFs o&t with his *riends.L BillyFs voice w s c re*&l. LEh ye hK Anyone 8 $nowK A&ilKL 8 co&ld tell the words didnFt co"e cross s c s& lly s 8Fd "e nt the" to. LNo,L Billy s id slowly. L8 donFt thin$ heFs with A&il tod y.L 8 $new better th n to "ention S "Fs n "e. L0"bryKL 8 s$ed. Billy see"ed h ppier to nswer this one. L+e h, heFs with 0"bry.L Th t w s eno&gh *or "e. 0"bry w s one o* the". L-ell, h ve hi" c ll "e when he gets in, ll rightKL LS&re, s&re. No proble".L +lick. LSee yo& soon, Billy,L 8 "&ttered into the de d phone. 8 drove to L ?&sh deter"ined to w it. 8Fd sit o&t *ront o* his ho&se ll night i* 8 h d to. 8Fd "iss school. The boy w s going to h ve to co"e ho"e so"eti"e, nd when he did, he w s going to h ve to t l$ to "e. My "ind w s so preocc&pied th t the trip 8Fd been terri*ied o* " $ing see"ed to t $e only *ew seconds. Be*ore 8 w s expecting it, the *orest beg n to thin, nd 8 $new 8 wo&ld soon be ble to see the *irst little ho&ses o* the reserv tion. - l$ing w y, long the le*t side o* the ro d, w s t ll boy with b seb ll c p. My bre th c &ght *or J&st "o"ent in "y thro t, hope*&l th t l&c$ w s with "e *or once, nd 8Fd sr&"bled cross 7 cob witho&t h rdly trying. B&t this boy w s too wide, nd the h ir w s short &nder the h t. 0ven *ro" behind, 8 w s s&re it w s A&il, tho&gh he loo$ed bigger th n the l st ti"e 8Fd seen hi". -h t w s with these A&ile&te boysK -ere they *eeding the" experi"ent l growth hor"onesK 8 crossed over to the wrong side o* the ro d to stop next to hi". #e loo$ed &p when the ro r o* "y tr&c$ ppro ched.
A&ilFs expression *rightened "e "ore th n it s&rprised "e. #is * ce w s ble $, brooding, his *orehe d cre sed with worry. LEh, hey, Bell ,L he greeted "e d&lly. L#i, A&ilN Are yo& o$ yKL #e st red t "e "orosely. L/ine.L L! n 8 give yo& ride so"ewhereKL 8 o**ered. LS&re, 8 g&ess,L he "&"bled. #e sh&**led ro&nd the *ront o* the tr&c$ nd opened the p ssenger door to cli"b in. L-here toKL LMy ho&se is on the north side, b c$ behind the store,L he told "e. L# ve yo& seen 7 cob tod y.L The H&estion b&rst *ro" "e l"ost be*ore heFd *inished spe $ing. 8 loo$ed t A&il e gerly, w iting *or his nswer. #e st red o&t the windshield *or second be*ore he spo$e. L/ro" dist nce,L he *in lly s id. LA dist nceKL 8 echoed. L8 tried to *ollow the"3he w s with 0"bry.L #is voice w s low, h rd to he r over the engine. 8 le ned closer. L8 $now they s w "e. B&t they t&rned nd J&st dis ppe red into the trees. 8 donFt thin$ they were lone38 thin$ S " nd his crew "ight h ve been with the". L8Fve been st&"bling ro&nd in the *orest *or n ho&r, yelling *or the". 8 J&st b rely *o&nd the ro d g in when yo& drove &p.L LSo S " did get to hi".L The words were little distorted3"y teeth were gritted together. A&il st red t "e. L+o& $now bo&t th t.KL 8 nodded. L7 $e told "eN be*ore.L LBe*ore,L A&il repe ted, nd sighed. L7 cobFs J&st s b d s the others nowKL LNever le ves S "Fs side.L A&il t&rned his he d nd spit o&t the open window. LAnd be*ore th t3did he void everyoneK - s he cting &psetKL #is voice w s low nd ro&gh. LNot *or s long s the others. M ybe one d y. Then S " c &ght &p with hi".L L-h t do yo& thin$ it isK Dr&gs or so"ethingKL
L8 c nFt see 7 cob or 0"bry getting into nything li$e th tN b&t wh t do 8 $nowK -h t else co&ld it beK And why renFt the old people worriedKL #e shoo$ his he d, nd the *e r showed in his eyes now. L7 cob didnFt w nt to be p rt o* thisN c&lt. 8 donFt &nderst nd wh t co&ld ch nge hi".L #e st red t "e, his * ce *rightened. LI don$t ant to be ne5t.L My eyes "irrored his *e r. Th t w s the second ti"e 8Fd he rd it described s c&lt. 8 shivered. LAre yo&r p rents ny helpKL #e gri" ced. LBight. My gr nd* therFs on the co&ncil with 7 cobFs d d. S " 'ley is the best thing th t ever h ppened to this pl ce, s * r s heFs concerned.L -e st red t e ch other *or prolonged "o"ent. -e were in L ?&sh now, nd "y tr&c$ w s b rely cr wling long the e"pty ro d. 8 co&ld see the vill geFs only store not too * r he d. L8Fll get o&t now,L A&il s id. LMy ho&se is right over there.L #e gest&red tow rd the s" ll wooden rect ngle behind the store. 8 p&lled over to the sho&lder, nd he J&"ped o&t. L8F" going to go w it *or 7 cob,L 8 told hi" in h rd voice. L%ood l&c$.L #e sl ""ed the door nd sh&**led *orw rd long the ro d, his he d bent *orw rd, his sho&lders sl&"ped. A&ilFs * ce h &nted "e s 8 " de wide '6t&rn nd he ded b c$ tow rd the Bl c$sF. #e w s terri*ied o* being next. -h t w s h ppening hereK 8 stopped in *ront o* 7 cobFs ho&se, $illing the "otor nd rolling down the windows. 8t w s st&**y tod y, no breeIe. 8 p&t "y *eet &p on the d shbo rd nd settled in to w it. A "ove"ent *l shed in "y peripher l vision38 t&rned nd spotted Billy loo$ing t "e thro&gh the *ront window with con*&sed expression. 8 w ved once nd s"iled tight s"ile, b&t st yed where 8 w s. #is eyes n rrowedG he let the c&rt in * ll cross the gl ss. 8 w s prep red to st y s long s it too$, b&t 8 wished 8 h d so"ething to do. 8 d&g &p pen o&t o* the botto" o* "y b c$p c$, nd n old test. 8 st rted to doodle on the b c$ o* the scr p. 8Fd only h d ti"e to scr wl one row o* di "onds when there w s sh rp t p g inst "y door. 8 J&"ped, loo$ing &p, expecting Billy. L-h t re yo& doing here, Bell .FL 7 cob growled. 8 st red t hi" in bl n$ stonish"ent. 7 cob h d ch nged r dic lly in the l st wee$s since 8Fd seen hi". The *irst thing 8 noticed w s his h ir3his be &ti*&l h ir w s ll gone, cropped H&ite short, covering his he d with n in$y gloss li$e bl c$ s tin. The pl nes o* his * ce see"ed to h ve h rdened s&btly, tightenedN ged. #is nec$ nd his sho&lders were di**erent, too, thic$er so"ehow. #is h nds, where they gripped the window *r "e, loo$ed enor"o&s, with the tendons nd veins "ore pro"inent &nder the r&sset s$in. B&t the physic l ch nges were insigni*ic nt.
8t w s his expression th t " de hi" l"ost co"pletely &nrecogniI ble. The open, *riendly s"ile w s gone li$e the h ir, the w r"th in his d r$ eyes ltered to brooding resent"ent th t w s inst ntly dist&rbing. There w s d r$ness in 7 cob now. Li$e "y s&n h d i"ploded. L7 cobKL 8 whispered. #e J&st st red t "e, his eyes tense nd ngry. 8 re liIed we werenFt lone. Behind hi" stood *o&r othersG ll t ll nd r&sset6s$inned, bl c$ h ir chopped short J&st li$e 7 cobFs. They co&ld h ve been brothers38 co&ldnFt even pic$ 0"bry o&t o* the gro&p. The rese"bl nce w s only intensi*ied by the stri$ingly si"il r hostility in every p ir o* eyes. 0very p ir b&t one. The oldest by sever l ye rs, S " stood in the very b c$, his * ce serene nd s&re. 8 h d to sw llow b c$ the bile th t rose in "y thro t. 8 w nted to t $e swing t hi". No, 8 w nted to do "ore th n th t. More th n nything, 8 w nted to be *ierce nd de dly, so"eone no one wo&ld d re "ess with. So"eone who wo&ld sc re S " 'ley silly. 8 w nted to be v "pire. The violent desire c &ght "e o** g& rd nd $noc$ed the wind o&t o* "e. 8t w s the "ost *orbidden o* ll wishes3even when 8 only wished it *or " licio&s re son li$e this, to g in n dv nt ge over n ene"y3bec &se it w s the "ost p in*&l. Th t *&t&re w s lost to "e *orever, h d never re lly been within "y gr sp. 8 scr "bled to g in control o* "ysel* while the hole in "y chest ched hollowly. L-h t do yo& w ntKL 7 cob de" nded, his expression growing "ore resent*&l s he w tched the pl y o* e"otion cross "y * ce. L8 w nt to t l$ to yo&,L 8 s id in we $ voice. 8 tried to *oc&s, b&t 8 w s still reeling g inst the esc pe o* "y t boo dre ". L%o he d,L he hissed thro&gh his teeth. #is gl re w s vicio&s. 8Fd never seen hi" loo$ t nyone li$e th t, le st o* ll "e. 8t h&rt with s&rprising intensity3 physic l p in, st bbing in "y he d. LAloneML 8 hissed, nd "y voice w s stronger. #e loo$ed behind hi", nd 8 $new where his eyes wo&ld go. 0very one o* the" w s t&rned *or S "Fs re ction. S " nodded once, his * ce &npert&rbed. #e " de brie* co""ent in n &n* "ili r, liH&id l ng& ge38 co&ld only be positive th t it w snFt /rench or Sp nish, b&t 8 g&essed th t it w s A&ile&te. #e t&rned nd w l$ed into 7 cobFs ho&se. The others, ? &l, 7 red, nd 0"bry, 8 ss&"ed, *ollowed hi" in. LE$ y.L 7 cob see"ed bit less *&rio&s when the others were gone. #is * ce w s little c l"er, b&t lso "ore hopeless. #is "o&th see"ed per" nently p&lled down t the corners. 8 too$ deep bre th. L+o& $now wh t 8 w nt to $now.L #e didnFt nswer. #e J&st st red t "e bitterly.
8 st red b c$ nd the silence stretched on. The p in in his * ce &nnerved "e. 8 *elt l&"p beginning to b&ild in "y thro t. L! n we w l$KL 8 s$ed while 8 co&ld still spe $. #e didnFt respond in ny w yG his * ce didnFt ch nge. 8 got o&t o* the c r, *eeling &nseen eyes behind the windows on "e, nd st rted w l$ing tow rd the trees to the north. My *eet sH&ished in the d "p gr ss nd "&d beside the ro d, nd, s th t w s the only so&nd, t *irst 8 tho&ght he w snFt *ollowing "e. B&t when 8 gl nced ro&nd, he w s right beside "e, his *eet h ving so"ehow *o&nd less noisy p th th n "ine. 8 *elt better in the *ringe o* trees, where S " co&ldnFt possibly be w tching. As we w l$ed, 8 str&ggled *or the right thing to s y, b&t nothing c "e. 8 J&st got "ore nd "ore ngry th t 7 cob h d gotten s&c$ed inN th t Billy h d llowed thisN th t S " w s ble to st nd there so ss&red nd c l"N 7 cob s&ddenly pic$ed &p the p ce, striding he d o* "e e sily with his long legs, nd then swinging ro&nd to * ce "e, pl nting hi"sel* in "y p th so 8 wo&ld h ve to stop too. 8 w s distr cted by the overt gr ce o* his "ove"ent. 7 cob h d been ne rly s $l&tIy s "e with his never6ending growth sp&rt. -hen did th t ch ngedK B&t 7 cob didnFt give "e ti"e to thin$ bo&t it. LLetFs get this over with,L he s id in h rd, h&s$y voice. 8 w ited. #e $new wh t 8 w nted. L8tFs not wh t yo& thin$.L #is voice w s br&ptly we ry. L8tFs not wh t 8 tho&ght38 w s w y o**.L LSo wh t is it, thenKL #e st&died "y * ce *or long "o"ent, spec&l ting. The nger never co"pletely le*t his eyes. L8 c nFt tell yo&,L he *in lly s id. My J w tightened, nd 8 spo$e thro&gh "y teeth. L8 tho&ght we were *riends.L L-e were.L There w s slight e"ph sis on the p st tense. LB&t yo& donFt need *riends ny"ore,L 8 s id so&rly. L+o& h ve S ". 8snFt th t nice3yo&Fve lw ys loo$ed &p to hi" so "&ch.L L8 didnFt &nderst nd hi" be*ore.L LAnd now yo&Fve seen the light. # llel&J h.L L8t w snFt li$e 8 tho&ght it w s. This isnFt S "Fs * &lt. #eFs helping "e s "&ch s he c n.L #is voice t&rned brittle nd he loo$ed over "y he d, p st "e, r ge b&rning o&t *ro" his eyes. L#eFs helping yo&,L 8 repe ted d&bio&sly. LN t&r lly.L
B&t 7 cob didnFt see" to be listening. #e w s t $ing deep, deliber te bre ths, trying to c l" hi"sel*. #e w s so " d th t his h nds were sh $ing. L7 cob, ple se,L 8 whispered L-onFt yo& tell "e wh t h ppenedK M ybe 8 c n help.L LNo one c n help "e now.L The words were low "o nG his voice bro$e. L-h t did he do to yo&KL 8 de" nded, te rs collecting in "y eyes. 8 re ched o&t to hi", s 8 h d once be*ore, stepping *orw rd with "y r"s wide. This ti"e he cringed w y, holding his h nds &p de*ensively. LDonFt to&ch "e,L he whispered. L8s S " c tchingKL 8 "&"bled. The st&pid te rs h d esc ped the corners o* "y eyes. 8 wiped the" w y with the b c$ o* "y h nd, nd *olded "y r"s cross "y chest. LStop bl "ing S ".L The words c "e o&t * st, li$e re*lex. #is h nds re ched &p to twist ro&nd the h ir th t w s no longer there, nd then *ell li"ply t his sides. LThen who sho&ld 8 bl "eKL 8 retorted. #e h l*w y s"iledG it w s ble $, twisted thing. L+o& donFt w nt to he r th t.L LThe hell 8 donFtML 8 sn pped. L8 w nt to $now, nd 8 w nt to $now no .L L+o&Fre wrong,L he sn pped b c$. LDonFt yo& d re tell "e 8F" wrong38F" not the one who got br inw shedM Tell "e now whose * &lt this ll is, i* itFs not yo&r precio&s S "ML L+o& s$ed *or it,L he growled t "e, eyes glinting h rd. L8* yo& w nt to bl "e so"eone, why donFt yo& point yo&r *inger t those *ilthy, reeking bloods&c$ers th t yo& love so "&chKL My "o&th *ell open nd "y bre th c "e o&t with hooshing so&nd. 8 w s *roIen in pl ce, st bbed thro&gh with his do&ble6edged words. The p in twisted in * "ili r p tterns thro&gh "y body, the J gged hole ripping "e open *ro" the inside o&t, b&t it w s second pl ce, b c$gro&nd "&sic to the ch os o* "y tho&ghts. 8 co&ldnFt believe th t 8Fd he rd hi" correctly. There w s no tr ce o* indecision in his * ce. Enly *&ry. My "o&th still h&ng wide. L8 told yo& th t yo& didnFt w nt to he r it,L he s id. L8 donFt &nderst nd who yo& "e n,L 8 whispered. #e r ised one eyebrow in disbelie*. L8 thin$ yo& &nderst nd ex ctly who 8 "e n. +o&Fre not going to " $e "e s y it, re yo&K 8 donFt li$e h&rting yo&.L L8 donFt &nderst nd who yo& "e n,L 8 repe ted "ech nic lly.
LThe +ullens,, he s id slowly, dr wing o&t the word, scr&tiniIing "y * ce s he spo$e it. L8 s w th t38 c n see in yo&r eyes wh t it does to yo& when 8 s y their n "e.L 8 shoo$ "y he d b c$ nd *orth in deni l, trying to cle r it t the s "e ti"e. #ow did he $now thisK And how did it h ve nything to do with S "Fs c&ltK - s it g ng o* v "pire6h tersK -h t w s the point o* *or"ing s&ch society when no v "pires lived in /or$s ny"oreK -hy wo&ld 7 cob st rt believing the stories bo&t the !&llens now, when the evidence o* the" w s long gone, never to ret&rnK 8t too$ "e too long to co"e &p with the correct response. LDonFt tell "e yo&Fre listening to BillyFs s&perstitio&s nonsense now,L 8 s id with *eeble tte"pt t "oc$ery. L#e $nows "ore th n 8 g ve hi" credit *or.L LBe serio&s, 7 cob.L #e gl red t "e, his eyes critic l. LS&perstitions side,L 8 s id H&ic$ly. L8 still donFt see wh t yo&Fre cc&sing the... !&llensL3 wince3Lo*. They le*t "ore th n h l* ye r go. #ow c n yo& bl "e the" *or wh t S " is doing nowKL LS " isnFt doing nything, Bell . And 8 $now theyFre gone. B&t so"eti"esN things re set in "otion, nd then itFs too l te.L L-h tFs set in "otionK -h tFs too l teK -h t re yo& bl "ing the" *orKL #e w s s&ddenly right in "y * ce, his *&ry glowing in his eyes. L/or existing,L he hissed. 8 w s s&rprised nd distr cted s the w rning words c "e in 0dw rdFs voice g in, when 8 w snFt even sc red. LA&iet now, Bell . DonFt p&sh hi",L 0dw rd c &tioned in "y e r. 0ver since 0dw rdFs n "e h d bro$en thro&gh the c re*&l w lls 8Fd b&ried it behind, 8Fd been &n ble to loc$ it &p g in. 8t didnFt h&rt now3not d&ring the precio&s seconds when 8 co&ld he r his voice. 7 cob w s *&"ing in *ront o* "e, H&ivering with nger. 8 didnFt &nderst nd why the 0dw rd del&sion w s &nexpectedly in "y "ind. 7 cob w s livid, b&t he w s 7 cob. There w s no dren line, no d nger. L%ive hi" ch nce to c l" down,L 0dw rdFs voice insisted. 8 shoo$ "y he d in con*&sion. L+o&Fre being ridic&lo&s,L 8 told the" both. L/ine,L 7 cob nswered, bre thing deeply g in. L8 wonFt rg&e it with yo&. 8t doesnFt " tter nyw y, the d " ge is done.L ,!hat damage7,
#e didnFt *linch s 8 sho&ted the words in his * ce. LLetFs he d b c$. ThereFs nothing "ore to s y.L 8 g ped. LThereFs everything "ore to s yM +o& h venFt s id nything yetML #e w l$ed p st "e, striding b c$ tow rd the ho&se. L8 r n into A&il tod y,L 8 yelled *ter hi". #e p &sed "idstep, b&t didnFt t&rn. L+o& re"e"ber yo&r *riend, A&ilK +e h, heFs terri*ied.L 7 cob whirled to * ce "e. #is expression w s p ined. LA&ilL w s ll he s id. L#eFs worried bo&t yo&, too. #eFs *re $ed o&t.L 7 cob st red p st "e with desper te eyes. 8 go ded hi" *&rther. L#eFs *rightened th t heFs next.L 7 cob cl&tched t tree *or s&pport, his * ce t&rning str nge sh de o* green &nder the red6 brown s&r* ce. L#e wonFt be next,L 7 cob "&ttered to hi"sel*. L#e c nFt be. 8tFs over now. This sho&ldnFt still be h ppening. -hyK -hyKL #is *ist sl ""ed g inst the tree. 8t w snFt big tree, slender nd only *ew *eet t ller th n 7 cob. B&t it still s&rprised "e when tht tr&n$ g ve w y nd sn pped o** lo&dly &nder his blows. 7 cob st red t the sh rp, bro$en point with shoc$ th t H&ic$ly t&rned to horror. L8 h ve to get b c$.L #e whirled nd st l$ed w y so swi*tly th t 8 h d to Jog to $eep &p. LB c$ to S "ML LTh tFs one w y o* loo$ing t it,L it so&nded li$e he s id. #e w s "&"bling nd * cing w y. 8 ch sed hi" b c$ to the tr&c$. L- itML 8 c lled s he t&rned tow rd the ho&se. #e sp&n ro&nd to * ce "e, nd 8 s w th t his h nds were sh $ing g in. L%o ho"e, Bell . 8 c nFt h ng o&t with yo& ny"ore.L The silly, inconseH&enti l h&rt w s incredibly potent. The te rs welled &p g in. LAre yo&N bre $ing &p with "eKL The words were ll wrong, b&t they were the best w y 8 co&ld thin$ to phr se wh t 8 w s s$ing. A*ter ll, wh t 7 $e nd 8 h d w s "ore th n ny schooly rd ro" nce. Stronger. #e b r$ed o&t bitter l &gh. L# rdly. 8* th t were the c se, 8Fd s y FLetFs st y *riends.F 8 c nFt even s y th t.L
L7 cobN whyK S " wonFt let yo& h ve other *riendsK ?le se, 7 $e. +o& pro"ised. 8 need yo&ML The bl n$ e"ptiness o* "y li*e be*ore3be*ore 7 cob bro&ght so"e se"bl nce o* re son b c$ into it3re red &p nd con*ronted "e. Loneliness cho$ed in "y thro t. L8F" sorry, Bell ,L 7 cob s id e ch word distinctly in cold voice th t didnFt see" to belong to hi". 8 didnFt believe th t this w s re lly wh t 7 cob w nted to s y. 8t see"ed li$e there w s so"ething else trying to be s id thro&gh his ngry eyes, b&t 8 co&ldnFt &nderst nd the "ess ge. M ybe this w snFt bo&t S " t ll. M ybe this h d nothing to do with the !&llens. M ybe he w s J&st trying to p&ll hi"sel* o&t o* hopeless sit& tion. M ybe 8 sho&ld let hi" do th t, i* th tFs wh t w s best *or hi". 8 sho&ld do th t. 8t wo&ld be right. B&t 8 he rd "y voice esc ping in whisper. L8F" sorry th t 8 co&ldnFtN be*oreN 8 wish 8 co&ld ch nge how 8 *eel bo&t yo&, 7 cob.L 8 w s desper te, re ching, stretching the tr&th so * r th t it c&rved ne rly into the sh pe o* lie. LM ybeN " ybe 8 wo&ld ch nge,L 8 whispered. LM ybe, i* yo& g ve "e so"e ti"eN J&st donFt H&it on "e now, 7 $e. 8 c nFt t $e it.L #is * ce went *ro" nger to gony in second. Ene sh $ing h nd re ched o&t tow rd "e. LNo. DonFt thin$ li$e th t, Bell , ple se. DonFt bl "e yo&rsel*, donFt thin$ this is yo&r * &lt. This one is all "e. 8 swe r, itFs not bo&t yo&.L L8tFs not yo&, itFs "e,L 8 whispered. LThereFs new one.L L8 "e n it, Bell . 8F" notNL he str&ggled, his voice going even h&s$ier s he *o&ght to control his e"otion. #is eyes were tort&red. L8F" not good eno&gh to be yo&r *riend ny"ore, or nything else. 8F" not wh t 8 w s be*ore. 8F" not good.L L-h tKL 8 st red t hi", con*&sed nd pp lled. L-h t re yo& sayingK +o&Fre "&ch better th n 8 ", 7 $e. +o& re goodM -ho told yo& th t yo& renFtK S "K 8tFs vicio&s lie, 7 cobM DonFt let hi" tell yo& th tML 8 w s s&ddenly yelling g in. 7 cobFs * ce went h rd nd *l t. LNo one h d to tell "e nything. 8 $now wh t 8 ".L L+o&Fre "y *riend, th tFs wh t yo& reM 7 $e3donFtML #e w s b c$ing w y *ro" "e. L8F" sorry, Bell ,L he s id g inG this ti"e it w s bro$en "&"ble. #e t&rned nd l"ost r n into the ho&se. 8 w s &n ble to "ove *ro" where 8 stood. 8 st red t the little ho&seG it loo$ed too s" ll to hold *o&r l rge boys nd two l rger "en. There w s no re ction inside. No *l&tter t the edge o* the c&rt in, no so&nd o* voices or "ove"ent. 8t * ced "e v c ntly. The r in st rted to driIIle, stinging here nd there g inst "y s$in. 8 co&ldnFt t $e "y eyes o** the ho&se. 7 cob wo&ld co"e b c$. #e h d to.
The r in pic$ed &p, nd so did the wind. The drops were no longer * lling *ro" boveG they sl nted t n ngle *ro" the west. 8 co&ld s"ell the brine *ro" the oce n. My h ir whipped in "y * ce, stic$ing to the wet pl ces nd t ngling in "y l shes. 8 w ited. /in lly the door opened, nd 8 too$ step *orw rd in relie*. Billy rolled his ch ir into the door *r "e. 8 co&ld see no one behind hi". L!h rlie J&st c lled, Bell . 8 told hi" yo& were on yo&r w y ho"e.L #is eyes were *&ll o* pity. The pity " de it *in l so"ehow. 8 didnFt co""ent. 8 J&st t&rned robotic lly nd cli"bed in "y tr&c$. 8Fd le*t the windows open nd the se ts were slic$ nd wet. 8t didnFt " tter. 8 w s lre dy so $ed. Not as bad8 Not as badM "y "ind tried to co"*ort "e. 8t w s tr&e. This w snFt s b d. This w snFt the end o* the world, not g in. This w s J&st the end o* wh t little pe ce there w s le*t behind. Th t w s ll. Not as bad, 8 greed, then dded, but bad enough. 8Fd tho&ght 7 $e h d been he ling the hole in "e3or t le st pl&gging it &p, $eeping it *ro" h&rting "e so "&ch. 8Fd been wrong. #eFd J&st been c rving o&t his own hole, so th t 8 w s now riddled thro&gh li$e Swiss cheese. 8 wondered why 8 didnFt cr&"ble into pieces. !h rlie w s w iting on the porch. As 8 rolled to stop, he w l$ed o&t to "eet "e. LBilly c lled. #e s id yo& got in *ight with 7 $e3s id yo& were pretty &pset,L he expl ined s he opened "y door *or "e. Then he loo$ed t "y * ce. A $ind o* horri*ied recognition registered in his expression. 8 tried to *eel "y * ce *ro" the inside o&t, to $now wh t he w s seeing. My * ce *elt e"pty nd cold, nd 8 re liIed wh t it wo&ld re"ind hi" o*. LTh tFs not ex ctly how it h ppened,L 8 "&ttered. !h rlie p&t his r" ro&nd "e nd helped "e o&t o* the c r. #e didnFt co""ent on "y sodden clothes. LThen wh t did h ppenFL he s$ed when we were inside. #e p&lled the *gh n o** the b c$ o* the so* s he spo$e nd wr pped it ro&nd "y sho&lders. 8 re liIed 8 w s shivering still. My voice w s li*eless. LS " 'ley s ys 7 cob c nFt be "y *riend ny"ore.L !h rlie shot "e str nge loo$. L-ho told yo& th tKL L7 cob,L 8 st ted, tho&gh th t w snFt ex ctly wh t heFd s id. 8t w s still tr&e. !h rlieFs eyebrows p&lled together. L+o& re lly thin$ thereFs so"ething wrong with the 'ley $idKL L8 $now there is. 7 cob wo&ldnFt tell "e wh t, tho&gh.L 8 co&ld he r the w ter *ro" "y clothes dripping to the *loor nd spl shing on the linole&". L8F" going to go ch nge.L
!h rlie w s lost in tho&ght. LE$ y,L he s id bsently. 8 decided to t $e shower bec &se 8 w s so cold, b&t the hot w ter didnFt see" to **ect the te"per t&re o* "y s$in. 8 w s still *reeIing when 8 g ve &p nd sh&t the w ter o**. 8n the s&dden H&iet, 8 co&ld he r !h rlie t l$ing to so"eone downst irs. 8 wr pped towel ro&nd "e, nd cr c$ed the b throo" door. !h rlieFs voice w s ngry. L8F" not b&ying th t. 8t doesnFt " $e ny sense.L 8t w s H&iet then, nd 8 re liIed he w s on the phone. A "in&te p ssed. LDonFt yo& p&t this on Bell ML !h rlie s&ddenly sho&ted. 8 J&"ped. -hen he spo$e g in, his voice w s c re*&l nd lower. LBell Fs " de it very cle r ll long th t she nd 7 cob were J&st *riendsN -ell, i* th t w s it, then why didnFt yo& s y so t *irstK No, Billy, 8 thin$ sheFs right bo&t thisN Bec &se 8 $now "y d &ghter, nd i* she s ys 7 cob w s sc red be*ore3L #e w s c&t o** "id6sentence, nd when he nswered he w s l"ost sho&ting g in. L-h t do yo& "e n 8 donFt $now "y d &ghter s well s 8 thin$ 8 doML #e listened *or brie* second, nd his response w s l"ost too low *or "e to he r. L8* yo& thin$ 8F" going to re"ind her bo&t th t, then yo& h d better thin$ g in. SheFs only J&st st rting to get over it, nd "ostly bec &se o* 7 cob, 8 thin$. 8* wh tever 7 cob h s going on with this S " ch r cter sends her b c$ into th t depression, then 7 cob is going to h ve to nswer to "e. +o&Fre "y *riend, Billy, b&t this is h&rting "y * "ily.L There w s nother bre $ *or Billy to respond. L+o& got th t right3those boys set one toe o&t o* line nd 8F" going to $now bo&t it. -eFll be $eeping n eye on the sit& tion, yo& c n be s&re o* th t.L #e w s no longer !h rlieG he w s !hie* Sw n now. L/ine. +e h. %oodbye.L The phone sl ""ed into the cr dle. 8 tiptoed H&ic$ly cross the h ll into "y roo". !h rlie w s "&ttering ngrily in the $itchen. So Billy w s going to bl "e "e. 8 w s le ding 7 cob on nd heFd *in lly h d eno&gh. 8t w s str nge, *or 8Fd *e red th t "ysel*, b&t *ter the l st thing 7 cob h d s id this *ternoon, 8 didnFt believe it ny"ore. There w s "&ch "ore to this th n n &nreH&ited cr&sh, nd it s&rprised "e th t Billy wo&ld stoop to cl i"ing th t. 8t " de "e thin$ th t wh tever secret they were $eeping w s bigger th n 8Fd been i" gining. At le st !h rlie w s on "y side now. 8 p&t "y p J " s on nd cr wled into bed. Li*e see"ed d r$ eno&gh t the "o"ent ch t 8 let "ysel* che t. The hole3holes now3were lre dy ching, so why notK 8 p&lled o&t the "e"ory 3nor re l "e"ory th t wo&ld h&rt too "&ch, b&t the * lse "e"ory o* 0dw rdFs voice in "y "ind this *ternoon3 nd pl yed it over nd over in "y he d &ntil 8 *ell sleep with the te rs still stre "ing c l"ly down "y e"pty * ce. 8t w s new dre " tonight. B in w s * lling nd 7 cob w s w l$ing so&ndlessly beside "e, tho&gh bene th my *eet the gro&nd cr&nched li$e dry gr vel. B&t he w snFt "y 7 cobG he w s the new, bitter, gr ce*&l 7 cob. The s"ooth s&ppleness o* his w l$ re"inded "e o* so"eone else,
nd, s 8 w tched, his *e t&res st rted to ch nge. The r&sset color o* his s$in le ched w y, le ving his * ce p le white li$e bone. #is eyes t&rned gold, nd then cri"son, nd then b c$ to gold g in. #is shorn h ir twisted in the breeIe, t&rning bronIe where the wind to&ched it. And his * ce bec "e so be &ti*&l th t it sh ttered "y he rt. 8 re ched *or hi", b&t he too$ step w y, r ising his h nds li$e shield. And then 0dw rd v nished. 8 w snFt s&re, when 8 wo$e in the d r$, i* 8Fd J&st beg&n crying, or i* "y te rs h d r&n while 8 slept nd si"ply contin&ed now. 8 st red t "y d r$ ceiling. 8 co&ld *eel th t it w s the "iddle o* the night38 w s still h l*6 sleep, " ybe "ore th n h l*. 8 closed "y eyes we rily nd pr yed *or dre "less sleep. Th tFs when 8 he rd the noise th t "&st h ve w $ened "e in the *irst pl ce. So"ething sh rp scr ped long the length o* "y window with high6pitched sH&e l, li$e *ingern ils g inst the gl ss.
12. INTRUDER
M+ 0+0S /L0- -8D0 E?0N -8T# /B8%#T, T#E'%# 8 -AS so exh &sted nd "&ddled th t 8 w s not yet positive whether 8 w s w $e or sleep. So"ething scr tched g inst "y window g in with the s "e thin, high6pitched so&nd. !on*&sed nd cl&"sy with sleep, 8 st&"bled o&t o* "y bed nd to the window, blin$ing the lingering te rs *ro" "y eyes on the w y. A h&ge, d r$ sh pe wobbled err tic lly on the other side o* the gl ss, l&rching tow rd "e li$e it w s going to s" sh right thro&gh. 8 st ggered b c$, terri*ied, "y thro t closing ro&nd scre ". ,ictori . SheFd co"e *or "e. 8 w s de d. Not !h rlie, tooM 8 cho$ed b c$ the b&ilding scre ". 8 wo&ld h ve to $eep H&iet thro&gh this. So"ehow. 8 h d to $eep !h rlie *ro" co"ing to investig teN And then * "ili r, h&s$y voice c lled *ro" the d r$ sh pe. LBell ML it hissed. LE&chM D "n it, open the windowM E'!#ML 8 needed two seconds to sh $e o** the horror be*ore 8 co&ld "ove, b&t then 8 h&rried to the window nd shoved the gl ss o&t o* the w y. The clo&ds were di"ly lit *ro" behind, eno&gh *or "e to " $e sense o* the sh pes.
L-h t re yo& doingKL 8 g sped. 7 cob w s clinging prec rio&sly to the top o* the spr&ce th t grew in the "iddle o* !h rlieFs little *ront y rd. #is weight h d bowed the tree tow rd the ho&se nd he now sw&ng3his legs d ngling twenty feet bove the gro&nd3not y rd w y *ro" "e. The thin br nches t the tip o* the tree scr ped g inst the side o* the ho&se g in with gr ting sH&e l. L8F" trying to $eepL3he h&**ed, shi*ting his weight s the treetop bo&nced hi"3L"y pro"iseML 8 blin$ed "y wet bl&rry eyes, s&ddenly s&re th t 8 w s dre "ing. L-hen did yo& ever pro"ise to $ill yo&rsel* * lling o&t o* !h rlieFs treeKL #e snorted, &n "&sed, swinging his legs to i"prove his b l nce. L%et o&t o* the w y,L he ordered. L-h tKL #e sw&ng his legs g in, b c$w rds nd *orw rd, incre sing his "o"ent&". 8 re liIed wh t he w s ttying to do. LNo, 7 $eML B&t 8 d&c$ed to the side, ec &se it w s too l te. -ith gr&nt, he l &nched hi"sel* tow rd "y open window. Another scre " b&ilt in "y thro t s 8 w ited *or hi" to * ll to his de th3or t le st " i" hi"sel* g inst the wooden siding. To "y shoc$, he sw&ng gilely into "y roo", l nding on the b lls o* his *eet with low th&d. -e both loo$ed to the door &to" tic lly, holding o&r bre th, w iting to see i* the noise h d wo$en !h rlie. A short "o"ent o* silence p ssed, nd then we he rd the "&**led so&nd o* !h rlieFs snore. A wide grin spre d slowly cross 7 cobFs * ceG he see"ed extre"ely ple sed with hi"sel*. 8t w snFt the grin th t 8 $new nd loved3it w s new grin, one th t w s bitter "oc$ery o* his old sincerity, on the new * ce th t belonged to S ". Th t w s bit "&ch *or "e. 8Fd cried "ysel* to sleep over this boy. #is h rsh reJection h d p&nched p in*&l new hole in wh t w s le*t o* "y chest. #eFd le*t new night" re behind hi", li$e n in*ection in sore3the ins&lt *ter the inJ&ry. And now he w s here in "y roo", s"ir$ing t "e s i* none o* th t h d p ssed. -orse th n th t, even tho&gh his rriv l h d been noisy nd w$w rd, it re"inded "e o* when 0dw rd &sed to sne $ in thro&gh "y window t night, nd the re"inder pic$ed vicio&sly t the &nhe led wo&nds. All o* this, co&pled with the * ct th t 8 w s dog6tired, did not p&t "e in *riendly "ood. L%et o&tML 8 hissed, p&tting s "&ch veno" into the whisper s 8 co&ld. #e blin$ed, his * ce going bl n$ with s&rprise.
LNo,L he protested. L8 c "e to pologiIe.L L8 donFt acceptML 8 tried to shove hi" b c$ o&t the window3 *ter ll, i* this w s dre ", it wo&ldnFt re lly h&rt hi". 8t w s &seless, tho&gh. 8 didnFt b&dge hi" n inch. 8 dropped "y h nds H&ic$ly, nd stepped w y *ro" hi". #e w snFt we ring shirt, tho&gh the ir blowing in the window w s cold eno&gh to " $e "e shiver, nd it " de "e &nco"*ort ble to h ve "y h nds on his b re chest. #is s$in w s b&rning hot, li$e his he d h d been the l st ti"e 8Fd to&ched hi". Li$e he w s still sic$ with the *ever. #e didnFt loo$ sic$. #e loo$ed huge. #e le ned over "e, so big th t he bl c$ed o&t the window, tong&e6tied by "y *&rio&s re ction. S&ddenly, it w s J&st "ore th n 8 co&ld h ndle3it *elt s i* ll o* "y sleepless nights were cr shing down on "e en " sse. 8 w s so br&t lly tired th t 8 tho&ght 8 "ight coll pse right there on the *loor. 8 sw yed &nste dily, nd str&ggled to $eep "y eyes open. LBell KL 7 cob whispered nxio&sly. #e c &ght "y elbow s 8 sw yed g in, nd steered "e b c$ to the bed. My legs g ve o&t when 8 re ched the edge, nd 8 plopped into li"p he p on the " ttress. L#ey, re yo& o$ yKL 7 cob s$ed, worry cre sing his *orehe d. 8 loo$ed &p t hi", the te rs not yet dried on "y chee$s. L-hy in the world wo&ld 8 be o$ y, 7 cobKL Ang&ish repl ced so"e o* the bitterness in his * ce. LBight,L he greed, nd too$ deep bre th. L!r p. -ellN 838F" so sorry, Bell .L The pology w s sincere, no do&bt bo&t it, tho&gh there w s still n ngry twist to his *e t&res. L-hy did yo& co"e hereK 8 donFt w nt pologies *ro" yo&, 7 $e.L L8 $now,L he whispered. LB&t 8 co&ldnFt le ve things the w y 8 did this *ternoon. Th r w s horrible. 8F" sorry.L 8 shoo$ "y he d we rily. L8 donFt &nderst nd nything.L L8 $now. 8 w nt to expl in3L #e bro$e o** s&ddenly, his "o&th open, l"ost li$e so"ething h d c&t o** his ir. Then he s&c$ed in deep bre th. LB&t 8 c nFt expl in,L he s id, still ngry. L8 wish 8 co&ld.L 8 let "y he d * ll into "y h nds. My H&estion c "e o&t "&**led by "y r". L-hyKL #e w s H&iet *or "o"ent. 8 twisted "y he d to the side3too tired to hold it &p3to see his expression. 8t s&rprised "e. #is eyes were sH&inted, his teeth clenched, his *orehe d wrin$led in e**ort. L-h tFs wrongKL 8 s$ed.
#e exh led he vily, nd 8 re liIed heFd been holding his bre th, too. L8 c nFt do it,L he "&ttered, *r&str ted. LDo wh tKL #e ignored "y H&estion. LLoo$, Bell , h venFt yo& ever h d secret th t yo& co&ldnFt tell nyoneKL #e loo$ed t "e with $nowing eyes, nd "y tho&ghts J&"ped i""edi tely to the !&llens. 8 hoped "y expression didnFt loo$ g&ilty. LSo"ething yo& *elt li$e yo& h d to $eep *ro" !h rlie, *ro" yo&r "o"N KL he pressed. LSo"ething yo& wonFt even t l$ bo&t with "eK Not even nowKL 8 *elt "y eyes tighten. 8 didnFt nswer his H&estion, tho&gh 8 $new he wo&ld t $e th t s con*ir" tion. L! n yo& &nderst nd th t 8 "ight h ve the s "e $ind o*N sit& tionKL #e w s str&ggling g in, see"ing to *ight *or the right words. LSo"eti"es, loy lty gets in the w y o* wh t yo& w nt to do. So"eti"es, itFs not yo&r secret to tell.L So, 8 co&ldnFt rg&e with th t. #e w s ex ctly right38 h d secret th t w snFt "ine to tell, yet secret 8 *elt bo&nd to protect. A secret th t, s&ddenly, he see"ed to $now ll bo&t. 8 still didnFt see how it pplied to hi", or S ", or Billy. -h t w s it to the", now th t the !&llens were goneK L8 donFt $now why yo& c "e here, 7 cob, i* yo& were J&st going to give "e riddles inste d o* nswers.L L8F" sorry,L he whispered. LThis is so *r&str ting.L -e loo$ed t e ch other *or long "o"ent in the d r$ roo", both o&r * ces hopeless. LThe p rt th t $ills "e,L he s id br&ptly, Lis th t yo& lre dy kno . 8 lre dy told yon everythingML L-h t re yo& t l$ing bo&tKL #e s&c$ed in st rtled bre th, nd then le ned tow rd "e, his * ce shi*ting *ro" hopelessness to bl Iing intensity in second. #e st red *iercely into "y eyes, nd his voice w s * st nd e ger. #e spo$e the words right into "y * ceG his bre th w s s hot s his s$in. L8 thin$ 8 see w y to " $e this wor$ o&t3bec &se yo& $now this, Bell M 8 c nFt tell yo&, b&t i* yo& guessed itM Th t wo&ld let "e right o** the hoo$ML L+o& w nt "e to g&essK %&ess hatKL LMy secretM +o& c n do it3yo& $now the nswerML 8 blin$ed twice, trying to cle r "y he d. 8 w s so tired. Nothing he s id " de sense.
#e too$ in "y bl n$ expression, nd then his * ce tensed with e**ort g in. L#ole on, let "e see i* 8 give yo& so"e help,L he s id. -h tever he w s trying to do, it w s so h rd he w s p nting. L#elpKL 8 s$ed, trying to $eep &p. My lids w nted to slip closed, b&t 8 *orced the" open. L+e h,L he s id, bre thing h rd. LLi$e cl&es.L #e too$ "y * ce in his enor"o&s, too6w r" h nds nd held it J&st *ew inches *ro" his. #e st red into "y eyes while he whispered, s i* to co""&nic te so"ething besides the words he spo$e. LBe"e"ber the *irst d y we "et3on the be ch in L ?&shKL LE* co&rse 8 do.L LTell "e bo&t it.L 8 too$ deep bre th nd tried to concentr te. L+o& s$ed bo&t "y tr&c$NL #e nodded, &rging "e on. L-e t l$ed bo&t the B bbitNL LCeep going.L L-e went *or w l$ down the be chNL My chee$s were growing w r" &nder his p l"s s 8 re"e"bered, b&t he wo&ldnFt notice, hot s his s$in w s. 8Fd s$ed hi" to w l$ with "e, *lirting ineptly b&t s&ccess*&lly, in order to p&"p hi" *or in*or" tion. #e w s nodding, nxio&s *or "ore. My voice w s ne rly so&ndless. L+o& told "e sc ry storiesN A&ile&te legends.L #e closed his eyes nd opened the" g in. L+es.L The word w s tense, *ervent, li$e he w s on the edge o* so"ething vit l. #e spo$e slowly, " $ing e ch word distinct. LDo yo& re"e"ber wh t 8 s idKL 0ven in the d r$, he "&st be ble to see the ch nge in the color o* "y * ce. #ow co&ld 8 ever *orget th tK -itho&t re liIing wh t he w s doing, 7 cob h d told "e ex ctly wh t 8 needed to $now th t d y3th t 0dw rd w s v "pire. #e loo$ed t "e with eyes th t $new too "&ch. LThin$ h rd,L he told "e. L+es, 8 re"e"ber,L 8 bre thed. #e inh led deeply, str&ggling. LDo yo& re"e"ber all the stor3L #e co&ldnFt *inish the H&estion. #is "o&th popped open li$e so"ething h d st&c$ in his thro t. LAll the storiesKL 8 s$ed. #e nodded "&tely.
My he d ch&rned. Enly one story re lly " ttered. 8 $new heFd beg&n with others, b&t 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber the inconseH&enti l prel&de, especi lly not while "y br in w s so clo&ded with exh &stion. 8 st rted to sh $e "y he d. 7 cob gro ned nd J&"ped o** the bed. #e pressed his *ists g inst his *orehe d nd bre thed * st nd ngry. L+o& $now this, yo& $now this,L he "&ttered to hi"sel*. L7 $eK 7 $e, ple se, 8F" e5hausted. 8F" no good t this right now. M ybe in the "orningNL #e too$ ste dying bre th nd nodded. LM ybe it will co"e b c$ to yo&. 8 g&ess 8 &nderst nd why yo& only re"e"ber the one story,L he dded in s rc stic, bitter tone. #e pl&n$ed b c$ onto the " ttress beside "e. LDo yo& "ind i* 8 s$ yo& H&estion bo&t th tKL he s$ed, still s rc stic. L8Fve been dying ro $now.L LA H&estion bo&t wh tKL 8 s$ed w rily. LAbo&t the v "pire story 8 told yo&.L 8 st red t hi" with g& rded eyes, &n ble to nswer. #e s$ed his H&estion nyw y. LDid yo& honestly not $nowKL he s$ed "e, his voice t&rning h&s$y. L- s 8 the one who told yo& wh t he w sKL 0o did he kno thisK -hy did he decide to believe, why no K My teeth clenched together. 8 st red b c$ t hi", no intention o* spe $ing. #e co&ld see th t. LSee wh t 8 "e n bo&t loy ltyKL he "&r"&red, even h&s$ier now. L8tFs the s "e *or "e, only worse. +o& c nFt i" gine how tight 8F" bo&ndNL 8 didnFt li$e th t3didnFt li$e the w y his eyes closed s i* he were in p in when he spo$e o* being bo&nd. More th n disli$e38 re liIed 8 hated it, h ted nything th t c &sed hi" p in. # ted it *iercely. S "Fs * ce *illed "y "ind. /or "e, this w s ll essenti lly vol&nt ry. 8 protected the !&llensF secret o&t o* loveG &nreH&ited, b&t tr&e. /or 7 cob, it didnFt see" to be th t w y. L8snFt there ny w y *or yo& to get *reeKL 8 whispered, to&ching the ro&gh edge t the b c$ o* his shorn h ir. #is h nds beg n to tre"ble, b&t he didnFt open his eyes. LNo. 8F" in this *or li*e. A li*e sentence.L A ble $ l &gh. LLonger, " ybe.L LNo, 7 $e,L 8 "o ned. L-h t i* we r n w yK 7&st yo& nd "e. -h t i* we le*t ho"e, nd le*t S " behindKL L8tFs not so"ething 8 c n r&n w y *ro", Bell ,L he whispered. L8 wo&ld r&n with yo&, tho&gh, i* 8 co&ld.L #is sho&lders were sh $ing now, too. #e too$ deep bre th. LLoo$, 8Fve got to le ve.L L-hyKL
L/or one thing, yo& loo$ li$e yo&Fre going to p ss o&t t ny second. +o& need yo&r sleep38 need yo& *iring on ll pistons. +o&Fre going to *ig&re this o&t, yo& h ve to.L LAnd why elseKL #e *rowned. L8 h d to sne $ o&t38F" not s&pposed to see yo&. TheyFve got to be wondering where 8 ".L #is "o&th twisted. L8 s&ppose 8 sho&ld go let the" $now.L L+o& donFt h ve to tell the" nything,L 8 hissed. LAll the s "e, 8 will.L The nger *l shed hot inside "e. L8 hate the"ML 7 cob loo$ed t "e with wide eyes, s&rprised. LNo, Bell . DonFt h te the g&ys. 8tFs not S "Fs or ny o* the othersF * &lts. 8 told yo& be*ore3itFs "e. S " is ct& llyN well, incredibly cool. 7 red nd ? &l re gre t, too, tho&gh ? &l is $ind o*N And 0"bryFs lw ys been "y *riend. NothingFs ch nged there3the only thing th t h snFt ch nged. 8 *eel re lly b d bo&r the things 8 &sed to thin$ bo&t S "NL LS " w s incredibly cool.L 8 gl red t hi" in disbelie*, b&t let it go. LThen why renFt yo& s&pposed to see "eKL 8 de" nded. L8tFs not s *e,L he "&"bled loo$ing down. #is words sent thrill o* *e r thro&gh "e. Did he $now that, tooK Nobody $new th t besides "e. B&t he w s right3it w s the "iddle o* the night, the per*ect ti"e *or h&nting. 7 cob sho&ldnFt be here in "y roo". 8* so"eone c "e *or "e, 8 h d Oo be lone. L8* 8 tho&ght it w s tooN too ris$y,L he whispered, L8 wo&ldnFt h ve co"e. B&t Bell ,L he loo$ed t "e g in, L8 " de yo& pro"ise. 8 h d no ide it wo&ld be so h rd to $eep, b&t th t doesnFt "e n 8F" not going to try.L #e s w the inco"prehension in "y * ce. LA*ter th t st&pid "ovie,L he re"inded "e. L8 pro"ised yo& th t 8 wo&ldnFt ever h&rt yo&N So 8 re lly blew it this *ternoon, didnFt 8KL L8 $now yo& didnFt w nt to do it, 7 $e. 8tFs o$ y.L LTh n$s, Bell .L #e too$ "y h nd. L8F" going to do wh t 8 c n to be here *or yo&, J&st li$e 8 pro"ised.L #e grinned t "e s&ddenly. The grin w s not "ine, nor S "Fs, b&t so"e str nge co"bin tion o* the two. L8t wo&ld re lly help i* yo& co&ld *ig&re this o&t on yo&r own, Bell . ?&t so"e honest e**ort into it.L 8 " de we $ gri" ce. L8Fll try.L LAnd 8Fll try to see yo& soon.L #e sighed. LAnd theyFll try to t l$ "e o&t o* th t.L LDonFt listen to the".L
L8Fll try.L #e shoo$ his he d, s i* he do&bted his s&ccess. L!o"e nd tell "e s soon s yo& *ig&re it o&t.L So"ething occ&rred to hi" J&st then, so"ething th t " de his h nds sh $e. L8* yo&N i* yo& ant to.L L-hy wo&ldnFt 8 w nt to see yo&KL #is * ce t&rned h rd nd bitter, one h&ndred percent the * ce th t belonged to S ". LEh, 8 c n thin$ o* re son,L he s id in h rsh tone. LLoo$, 8 re lly h ve to go. !o&ld yo& do so"ething *or "eKL 8 J&st nodded, *rightened o* the ch nge in hi". LAt le st c ll "e3i* yo& donFt w nt to see "e g in. Let "e $now i* itFs li$e th t.L LTh t wonFt h ppen3L #e r ised one h nd, c&tting "e o**. L7&st let "e $now.L #e stood nd he ded *or the window. LDonFt be n idiot, 7 $e,L 8 co"pl ined. L+o&Fll bre $ yo&r leg. 'se the door. !h rlieFs not going to c tch yo&.L L8 wonFt get h&rt,L he "&ttered, b&t he t&rned *or the door. #e hesit ted s he p ssed "e, st ring t "e with n expression li$e so"ething w s st bbing hi". #e held one h nd o&t, ple ding. 8 too$ his h nd, nd s&ddenly he y n$ed "e3too ro&ghly3right o** the bed so th t 8 th&dded g inst his chest. L7&st in c se,L he "&ttered g inst "y h ir, cr&shing "e in be r h&g th t bo&t bro$e "y ribs. L! nFt3bre theML 8 g sped. #e dropped "e t once, $eeping one h nd t "y w ist so 8 didnFt * ll over. #e p&shed "e, "ore gently this ti"e, b c$ down on the bed. L%et so"e sleep, Bells. +o&Fve got to get yo&r he d wor$ing. 8 $now yo& c n do this. 8 need you. to &nderst nd. 8 wonFt lose yo&, Bell . Not *or this.L #e w s to the door in one stride, opening it H&ietly, nd then dis ppe ring thro&gh it. 8 listened *or hi" to hit the sH&e $y step in the st irs, b&t there w s no so&nd. 8 l y b c$ on "y bed, "y he d spinning. 8 w s too con*&sed, too worn o&t. 8 closed "y eyes, trying to " $e sense o* it, only to be sw llowed &p by &nconscio&sness so swi*tly th t it w s disorienting. 8t w s not the pe ce*&l, cre "less sleep 8Fd ye rned *or3o* co&rse not. 8 w s in the *orest g in, nd 8 st rted to w nder the w y 8 lw ys did. 8 H&ic$ly bec "e w re th t this w s not the s "e dre " s &s& l. /or one thing, 8 *elt no co"p&lsion to w nder or to se rchG 8 w s "erely w ndering o&t o* h bit, bec &se th t w s wh t w s &s& lly expected o* "e here. Act& lly, this w snFt even the s "e *orest. The s"ell w s
di**erent, nd the light, too. 8t s"elled, not li$e the d "p e rth o* the woods, b&t li$e the brine o* the oce n. 8 co&ldnFt see the s$yG still, it see"ed li$e the s&n "&st be shining3the le ves bove were bright J de green. This w s the *orest ro&nd L ?&sh3ne r the be ch there, 8 w s s&re o* it. 8 $new th t i* 8 *o&nd the be ch, 8 wo&ld be ble to see the s&n, so 8 h&rried *orw rd, *ollowing the * int so&nd o* w ves in the dist nce. And then 7 cob w s there. #e gr bbed "y h nd, p&lling "e b c$ tow rd the bl c$est p rt o* the *orest. L7 cob, wh tFs wrongKL 8 s$ed. #is * ce w s the *rightened * ce o* boy, nd his h ir w s be &ti*&l g in, swept b c$ into ponyt il on the n pe o* his nec$. #e y n$ed with ll his strength, b&t 8 resistedG 8 didnFt w nt to go into the d r$. LB&n, Bell , yo& h ve to r&nML he whispered, terri*ied. The br&pt w ve o* deJ v& w s so strong it ne rly wo$e "e &p. 8 $new why 8 recogniIed this pl ce now. 8t w s bec &se 8Fd been here be*ore, in nother dre ". A "illion ye rs go, p rt o* di**erent li*e entirely. This w s the dre " 8Fd h d the night *ter 8Fd w l$ed with 7 cob on the be ch, the *irst night 8 $new th t 0dw rd w s v "pire. Beliving th t d y with 7 cob "&st h ve dredged this dre " o&t o* "y b&ried "e"ories. Det ched *ro" the dre " now, 8 w ited *or it to pl y o&t. A light w s co"ing tow rd "e *ro" the be ch. 8n J&st "o"ent, 0dw rd wo&ld w l$ thro&gh the trees, his s$in * intly glowing nd his eyes bl c$ nd d ngero&s. #e wo&ld bec$on to "e, nd s"ile. #e wo&ld be be &ti*&l s n ngel, nd his teeth wo&ld be pointed nd sh rpN B&t 8 w s getting he d o* "ysel*. So"ething else h d to h ppen *irst. 7 cob dropped "y h nd nd yelped. Sh $ing nd twitching, he *ell to the gro&nd t "y *eet. L7 cobML 8 scre "ed, b&t he w s gone. 8n his pl ce w s n enor"o&s, red6brown wol* with d r$, intelligent eyes. The dre " veered o** co&rse, li$e tr in J&"ping the tr c$s. This w s not the s "e wol* th t 8Fd dre "ed o* in nother li*e. This w s the gre t r&sset wol* 8Fd stood h l* *oot *ro" in the "e dow, J&st wee$ go. This wol* w s gig ntic, "onstro&s, bigger th n be r. This wol* st red intently t "e, trying to convey so"ething vit l with his intelligent eyes. The bl c$6brown, * "ili r eyes o* 7 cob Bl c$. 8 wo$e scre "ing t the top o* "y l&ngs. 8 l"ost expected !h rlie to co"e chec$ on "e this ti"e. This w snFt "y &s& l scre "ing. 8 b&ried "y he d in "y pillow nd tried to "&**le the hysterics th t "y scre "s were b&ilding into. 7 pressed the cotton tight g inst "y * ce, wondering i* 8 co&ldnFt lso so"ehow s"other the connection 8Fd J&st " de.
B&t !h rlie didnFt co"e in. nd event& lly 8 w s ble to str ngle the str nge screeching co"ing o&t o* "y thro t. 8 re"e"bered it ll now3every word th t 7 cob h d s id to "e th t d y on the be ch, even the p rt be*ore he got to the v "pires, the Lcold ones.L 0speci lly th t *irst p rt. L&o you kno any of our old stories, about here e came from3the 9uileutes, I mean7, he asked. ,Not really,, I admitted. ,!ell, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood3supposedly, the ancient 9uileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive, like Noah and the ark., 0e smiled then, to sho me ho little stock he put in the histories. ,Another legend claims that e descended from olves3and that the olves are our brothers still. It$s against tribal la to kill them. ,Then there are the stories about the cold ones., 0is voice dropped a little lo er. ,The cold ones7, ,.es. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the olf legends, and some much more recent. According to legend, my o n great:grandfather kne some of them. 0e as the one ho made the treaty that kept them off our land., (acob rolled his eyes. , .our great:grandfather7, L0e as a tribal elder, like my father. .ou see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the olf 3 ell, not the olf really, but the olves that turn into men, like our ancestors. .ou ould call them ere olves.L ,!ere olves have enemies7, ,-nly one., There w s so"ething st&c$ in "y thro t, cho$ing "e. 8 tried to sw llow it down, b&t it w s lodged there, &n6"oving. 8 tried to spit it o&t. L-erewol*,L 8 g sped. +es, th t w s the word th t 8 w s cho$ing on. The whole world l&rched, tilting the wrong w y on its xis. -h t $ind o* pl ce as thisK !o&ld world re lly exist where ncient legends went w ndering ro&nd the borders o* tiny, insigni*ic nt towns, * cing down "ythic l "onstersK Did this "e n every i"possible * iry t le w s gro&nded so"ewhere in bsol&te tr&thK - s there nything s ne or nor" l t ll, or w s everything J&st " gic nd ghost storiesK 8 cl&tched "y he d in "y h nds, trying to $eep it *ro" exploding.
A s" ll, dry voice in the b c$ o* "y "ind s$ed "e wh t the big de l w s. # dnFt 8 lre dy ccepted the existence o* v "pires long go3 nd witho&t ll the hysterics th t ti"eK 0x ctly, 8 w nted to scre " b c$ t the voice. - snFt one "yth eno&gh *or nyone, eno&gh *or li*eti"eK Besides, thereFd never been one "o"ent th t 8 w snFt co"pletely w re th t 0dw rd !&llen w s bove nd beyond the ordin ry. 8t w snFt s&ch s&rprise to *ind o&t wh t he w s3bec &se he so obvio&sly w s something. B&t 7 cobK 7 cob, who w s J&st 7 cob, nd nothing "ore th n th tK 7 cob, "y *riendK 7 cob, the only h&" n 8Fd ever been ble to rel te toN And he w snFt even h&" n. 8 *o&ght the &rge to scre " g in. -h t did this s y bo&t "eK 8 $new the nswer to th t one. 8t s id th t there w s so"ething deeply wrong with "e. -hy else wo&ld "y li*e be *illed with ch r cters *ro" horror "oviesK -hy else wo&ld 8 c re so "&ch bo&t the" th t it wo&ld te r big ch&n$s right o&t o* "y chest when they went o** long their "ythic l w ysK 8n "y he d, everything sp&n nd shi*ted, re rr nging so th t things th t h d "e nt one thing be*ore, now "e nt so"ething else. There w s no c&lt. There h d never been c&lt, never been g ng. No, it w s "&ch worse th n th t. 8t w s a pack. A p c$ o* *ive "ind6blowingly gig ntic, "&ltih&ed werewolves th t h d st l$ed right p st "e in 0dw rdFs "e dowN S&ddenly, 8 w s in *r ntic h&rry. 8 gl nced t the cloc$3it w s w y too e rly nd 8 didnFt c re. 8 h d to go to L ?&sh no . 8 h d to see 7 cob so he co&ld tell "e th t 8 h dnFt lost "y "ind ltogether. 8 p&lled on the *irst cle n clothes 8 co&ld *ind, not bothering to be s&re they " tched, nd too$ the st irs two t ti"e. 8 l"ost r n into !h rlie s 8 s$idded into the h llw y, he ded *or the door. L-here re yo& goingKL he s$ed, s s&rprised to see "e s 8 w s to see hi". LDo yo& $now wh t ti"e it isKL L+e h. 8 h ve to go see 7 cob.L L8 tho&ght the thing with S "3L LTh t doesnFt " tter, 8 h ve to t l$ to hi" right now.L L8tFs pretty e rly.L #e *rowned when "y expression didnFt ch nge. LDonFt yo& w nt bre $* stKL
LNot h&ngry.L The words *lew thro&gh "y lips. #e w s bloc$ing "y p th to the exit. 8 considered d&c$ing ro&nd hi" nd " $ing r&n *or it, b&t 8 $new 8 wo&ld h ve to expl in th t to hi" l ter. L8Fll be b c$ soon, o$ yKL !h rlie *rowned. LStr ight to 7 cobFs ho&se, rightK No stops on the w yKL LE* co&rse not, where wo&ld 8 stopKL My words were r&nning together in "y h&rry. L8 donFt $now,L he d"itted. L8tFs J&stN well, thereFs been nother tt c$3the wolves g in. 8t w s re l close to the resort by the hot springs3thereFs witness this ti"e. The victi" w s only doIen y rds *ro" the ro d when he dis ppe red. #is wi*e s w h&ge gr y wol* J&st *ew "in&tes l ter, while she w s se rching *or hi", nd r n *or help.L My sto" ch dropped li$e 8Fd hit cor$screw on roller co ster. LA wol* tt c$ed hi"KL LThereFs no sign o* hi"3J&st little blood g in.L !h rlieFs * ce w s p ined. LThe r ngers re going o&t r"ed, t $ing r"ed vol&nteers. ThereFre lot o* h&nters who re e ger to be involved 3thereFs rew rd being o**ered *or wol* c rc sses. Th tFs going to "e n lot o* *irepower o&t there in the *orest, nd it worries "e.L #e shoo$ his he d. L-hen people get too excited, ccidents h ppenNL LTheyFre going to shoot the wolvesKL My voice shot thro&gh three oct ves. L-h t else c n we doK -h tFs wrongKL he s$ed, his tense eyes st&dying "y * ce. 8 *elt * intG 8 "&st be whiter th n &s& l. L+o& renFt t&rning into tree6h&gger on "e, re yo&KL 8 co&ldnFt nswer. 8* he h dnFt been w tching "e, 8 wo&ld h ve p&t "y he d between "y $nees. 8Fd *orgotten bo&t the "issing hi$ers, the bloody p w printsN 8 h dnFt connected those * cts to "y *irst re liI tion. LLoo$, honey, donFt let this sc re yo&. 7&st st y in town or on the highw y3no stops3o$ yKL LE$ y,L 8 repe ted in we $ voice. L8Fve got to go.L 8 loo$ed t hi" closely *or the *irst ti"e, nd s w th t he h d his g&n str pped to his w ist nd hi$ing boots on. L+o& renFt going o&t there *ter the wolves, re yo&, D dKL L8Fve got to help, Bells. ?eople re dis ppe ring.L My voice shot &p g in, l"ost hysteric l now. LNoM No, donFt go. 8tFs too d ngero&sML L8Fve got to do "y Job, $id. DonFt be s&ch pessi"ist38Fll be *ine.L #e t&rned *or the door, nd held it open. L+o& le vingKL 8 hesit ted, "y sto" ch still spinning in &nco"*ort ble loops. -h t co&ld 8 s y to stop hi"K 8 w s too diIIy to thin$ o* sol&tion. LBellsKL
LM ybe itFs too e rly to go to L ?&sh,L 8 whispered. L8 gree,L he s id, nd he stepped o&t into the r in, sh&tting the door behind hi". As soon s he w s o&t o* sight, 8 dropped to the *loor nd p&t "y he d between "y $nees. Sho&ld 8 go *ter !h rlieK -h t wo&ld 8 s yK And wh t bo&t 7 cobK 7 cob w s "y best *riendG 8 needed to w rn hi". 8* he re lly w s 38 cringed nd *orced "ysel* to thin$ the word3werewol* = nd 8 $new it w s tr&e, 8 co&ld *eel it5, then people wo&ld be shooting t hi"M 8 needed to tell hi" and his *riends th t people wo&ld try to $ill the" i* they went r&nning ro&nd li$e gig ntic wolves. 8 needed to tell the" to stop. They h d to stopM !h rlie w s o&t there in the woods. -o&ld they c re bo&t th tK 8 wonderedN 'p &ntil now, only str ngers h d dis ppe red. Did th t "e n nything, or w s it J&st ch nceK 8 needed to believe th t 7 cob, t le st, wo&ld c re bo&t th t. 0ither w y, 8 h d to w rn hi". ErN did 8K 7 cob w s "y best *riend, b&t w s he "onster, tooK A re l oneK A b d oneK Should 8 w rn hi", i* he nd his *riends wereN were murderersM 8* they were o&t sl &ghtering innocent hi$ers in cold bloodK 8* they were tr&ly cre t&res *ro" horror "ovie in every sense, wo&ld it be wrong to protect the"K 8t w s inevit ble th t 8 wo&ld h ve to co"p re 7 cob nd his *riends to the !&llens. 8 wr pped "y r"s ro&nd "y chest, *ighting the hole, while 8 tho&ght o* the". 8 didnFt $now nything bo&t werewolves, cle rly. 8 wo&ld h ve expected so"ething closer to the "ovies3big h iry h l*6"en cre t&res or so"ething3i* 8Fd expected nything t ll. So 8 didnFt $now wh t " de the" h&nt, whether h&nger or thirst or J&st desire to $ill. 8t w s h rd to J&dge, not $nowing th t. B&t it co&ldnFt be worse th n wh t the !&llens end&red in their H&est to be good. 8 tho&ght o* 0s"e3the te rs st rted when 8 pict&red her $ind, lovely * ce3 nd how, s "otherly nd loving s she w s, sheFd h d to hold her nose, ll sh "ed, nd r&n *ro" "e when 8 w s bleeding. 8t co&ldnFt be h rder th n th t. 8 tho&ght o* ! rlisle, the cent&ries &pon cent&ries th t he h d str&ggled to te ch hi"sel* to ignore blood, so th t he co&ld s ve lives s doctor. Nothing co&ld be h rder th n that. The werewolves h d chosen di**erent p th. Now, wh t sho&ld I chooseK
1 3 . KI!!ER
IF IT !AS AN.-N1 2;T (A+-2, 8 T#E'%#T TE M+S0L/, sh $ing "y he d s 8 drove down the *orest6lined highw y to L ?&sh. 8 still w snFt s&re i* 8 w s do"g the right thing, b&t 8Fd " de co"pro"ise with "ysel*. 8 co&ldnFt condone wh t 7 cob nd his *riends, his p c$, were doing. 8 &nderstood now wh t heFd s id l st night3th t 8 "ight not w nt to see hi" g in3 nd 8 co&ld h ve c lled hi" s heFd s&ggested, b&t th t *elt cow rdly. 8 owed hi" * ce6to6* ce convers tion, t le st. 8 wo&ld tell hi" to his * ce th t 8 co&ldnFt J&st overloo$ wh t w s going on. 8 co&ldnFt be *riends with $iller nd s y nothing, let the $illing contin&eN Th t wo&ld " $e "e "onster, too. B&t 8 co&ldnFt not w rn hi", either. 8 h d to do wh t 8 co&ld to protect hi". 8 p&lled &p to the Bl c$sF ho&se with "y lips pressed together into h rd line. 8t w s b d eno&gh th t "y best *riend w s werewol*. Did he h ve to be "onster, tooK The ho&se w s d r$, no lights in the windows, b&t 8 didnFt c re i* 8 wo$e the". My *ist th&dded g inst the *ront door with ngry energyG the so&nd reverber ted thro&gh the w lls. L!o"e in,L 8 he rd Billy c ll *ter "in&te, nd light *lic$ed on. 8 twisted the $nobG it w s &nloc$ed. Billy w s le ning ro&nd n open doorw y J&st o** the little $itchen, b throbe ro&nd his sho&lders, not in his ch ir yet. -hen he s w who it w s, his eyes widened brie*ly, nd then his * ce t&rned stoic. L-ell, good "orning, Bell . -h t re yo& doing &p so e rlyKL L#ey, Billy. 8 need to t l$ to 7 $e3where is heKL L'"N 8 donFt re lly $now,L he lied, str ight6* ced. LDo yo& $now wh t !h rlie is doing this "orningKL 8 de" nded, sic$ o* the st lling. LSho&ld 8KL L#e nd h l* the other "en in town re ll o&t in the woods with g&ns, h&nting gi nt wolves.L BillyFs expression *lic$ered, nd then went bl n$. LSo 8Fd li$e to t l$ to 7 $e bo&t th t, i* yo& donFt "ind,L 8 contin&ed. Billy p&rsed his thic$ lips *or long "o"ent. L8Fd bet heFs still sleep,L he *in lly s id, nodding tow rd the tiny h llw y o** the *ront roo". L#eFs o&t l te lot these d ys. Cid needs his rest3 prob bly yo& sho&ldnFt w $e hi".L L8tFs "y t&rn,L 8 "&ttered &nder "y bre th s 8 st l$ed to the h llw y. Billy sighed. 7 cobFs tiny closet o* roo" w s the only door in the y rd6long h llw y. 8 didnFt bother to $noc$. 8 threw the door openG it sl ""ed g inst the w ll with b ng.
7 cob3still we ring J&st the s "e bl c$ c&t6o** swe ts heFd worn l st night3w s stretched di gon lly cross the do&ble bed th t too$ &p ll o* his roo" b&t *ew inches ro&nd the edges. 0ven on sl nt, it w snFt long eno&ghG his *eet h&ng o** the one end nd his he d o** the other. #e w s * st sleep, snoring lightly with his "o&th h nging open. The so&nd o* the door h dnFt even " de hi" twitch. #is * ce w s pe ce*&l with =deep sleep, ll the ngry lines s"oothed o&t. There were circles &nder his eyes th t 8 h dnFt noticed be*ore. Despite his ridic&lo&s siIe, he loo$ed very yo&ng now, nd very we ry. ?ity shoo$ "e. 8 stepped b c$ o&t, nd sh&t the door H&ietly behind "e. Billy st red with c&rio&s, g& rded eyes s 8 w l$ed slowly b c$ into the *ront roo". L8 thin$ 8Fll let hi" get so"e rest.L Billy nodded, nd then we g Ied t e ch other *or "in&te. 8 w s dying to s$ hi" bo&t his p rt in this. -h t did he thin$ o* wh t his son h d beco"eK B&t 8 $new how heFd s&pported S " *ro" the very beginning, nd so 8 s&pposed the "&rders "&st not bother hi". #ow he J&sti*ied th t to hi"sel* 8 co&ldnFt i" gine. 8 co&ld see " ny H&estions *or "e in his d r$ eyes, b&t he didnFt voice the" either. LLoo$,L 8 s id, bre $ing the lo&d silence. L8Fll be down t the be ch *or while. -hen he w $es &p, tell hi" 8F" w iting *or hi", o$ yKL LS&re, s&re,L Billy greed. 8 wondered i* he re lly wo&ld. -ell, i* he didnFt, 8Fd tried, rightK 8 drove down to /irst Be ch nd p r$ed in the e"pty dirt lot. 8t w s still d r$3the gloo"y pred wn o* clo&dy d y3 nd when 8 c&t the he dlights it w s h rd to see. 8 h d to let "y eyes dJ&st be*ore 8 co&ld *ind the p th th t led thro&gh the t ll hedge o* weeds. 8t w s colder here, with the wind whipping o** the bl c$ w ter, nd 8 shoved "y h nds deep into the poc$ets o* "y winter J c$et. At le st the r in h d stopped. 8 p ced down the be ch tow rd the north se w ll. 8 co&ldnFt see St. 7 "es or the other isl nds, J&st the v g&e sh pe o* the w terFs edge. 8 pic$ed "y w y c re*&lly cross the roc$s, w tching o&t *or dri*twood th t "ight trip "e. 8 *o&nd wh t 8 w s loo$ing *or be*ore 8 re liIed 8 w s loo$ing *or it. 8t " teri liIed o&t o* the gloo" when it w s J&st *ew *eet w yO long bone6white dri*twood tree str nded deep on the roc$s. The roots twisted &p t the se w rd end, li$e h&ndred brittle tent cles. 8 co&ldnFt be s&re th t it w s the s "e tree where 7 cob nd 8 h d h d o&r *irst convers tion3 convers tion th t h d beg&n so " ny di**erent, t ngled thre ds o* "y li*e3b&t it see"ed to be in bo&t the s "e pl ce 8 s t down where 8Fd s t be*ore, nd st red o&t cross the invisible se . Seeing 7 cob li$e th t3innocent nd v&lner ble in sleep3h d stolen ll "y rev&lsion, dissolved ll "y nger. 8 still co&ldnFt t&rn blind sye to wh t w s h ppening, li$e Billy see"ed to, b&t 8 co&ldnFt conde"n 7 cob *or it either. Love didnFt wor$ th t w y, 8 decided. Ence yo& c red bo&t
person, it w s i"possible to be logic l bo&t the" ny"ore. 7 cob w s "y *riend whether he $illed people or not. And 8 didnFt $now wh t 8 w s going to do bo&t th t. -hen 8 pict&red hi" sleeping so pe ce*&lly, 8 *elt n overpowering &rge to protect hi". !o"pletely illogic l. 8llogic l or not, 8 brooded over the "e"ory his pe ce*&l * ce, trying to co"e &p with so"e nswer, so"e w y to shelter hi", while the s$y slowly t&rned gr y. L#i, Bell .L 7 cobFs voice c "e *ro" the d r$ness nd " de "e J&"p. 8t w s so*t, l"ost shy, b&t 8Fd been expecting so"e *orew rning *ro" the noisy roc$s, nd so it still st rtled "e. 8 co&ld see his silho&ette g inst the co"ing s&nrise3it loo$ed enor"o&s. L7 $eKL #e stood sever l p ces w y, shi*ting his weight *ro" *oot to *oot nxio&sly. LBilly told "e yo& c "e by3didnFt t $e yo& very long, did itK 8 $new yo& co&ld *ig&re it o&t.L L+e h, 8 re"e"ber the right story now,L 8 whispered. 8t w s H&iet *or long "o"ent nd, tho&gh it w s still too d r$ to see well, "y s$in pric$led s i* his eyes were se rching "y * ce. There "&st h ve been eno&gh light *or hi" to re d "y expression, bec &se when he spo$e g in, his voice w s s&ddenly cidic. L+o& co&ld h ve J&st c lled,L he s id h rshly. 8 nodded. L8 $now.L 7 cob st rted p cing long the roc$s. 8* 8 listened very h rd, 8 co&ld J&st he r the gentle br&sh o* his *eet on the roc$s behind the so&nd o* the w ves. The roc$s h d cl ttered li$e c st nets *or "e. L-hy did yo& co"eKL he de" nded, not h lting his ngry stride. L8 tho&ght it wo&ld be better * ce6to6* ce.L #e snorted. LEh, "&ch better.L L7 cob, 8 h ve to w rn yo&3L LAbo&t the r ngers nd the h&ntersK DonFt worry bo&t it. -e lre dy $now.L LDonFt worry bo&t itKL 8 de" nded in disbelie*. L7 $e, theyFve got g&nsM TheyFre setting tr ps nd o**ering rew rds nd3L L-e c n t $e c re o* o&rselves,L he growled, still p cing. LTheyFre not going to c tch nything. TheyFre only " $ing it "ore di**ic&lt3theyFll st rt dis ppe ring soon eno&gh, too.L L7 $eML 8 hissed.
L-h tK 8tFs J&st * ct.L My voice w s p le with rev&lsion. L#ow c n yo&N *eel th t w yK +o& $now these people. !h rlieFs o&t thereML The tho&ght " de "y sto" ch twist. #e c "e to n br&pt stop. L-h t "ore c n we doKL he retorted. The s&n t&rned the clo&ds slivery pin$ bove &s. 8 co&ld see his expression nowG it w s ngry, *r&str ted, betr yed. L!o&ld yo&N well, try to not be N werewol*KL 8 s&ggested in whisper. #e threw his h nds &p in the ir. LLi$e 8 h ve choice bo&t itML he sho&ted. LAnd how wo&ld th t help nything, i* yo&Fre worried bo&t people dis ppe ringKL L8 donFt &nderst nd yo&.L #e gl red t "e, his eyes n rrowing nd his "o&th twisting into sn rl. L+o& $now wh t " $es "e so " d 8 co&ld J&st spitKL 8 *linched w y *ro" his hostile expression. #e see"ed to be w iting *or n nswer, so 8 shoo$ "y he d. L+o&Fre s&ch hypocrite, Bell 3there yo& sit, terrified o* "eM #ow is th t * irKL #is h nds shoo$ with nger. L0ypocriteK #ow does being *r id o* "onster " $e "e hypocriteKL L'ghML he gro ned, pressing his tre"bling *ists to his te"ples nd sH&eeIing his eyes sh&t. L-o&ld yo& listen to yo&rsel*KL L-h tKL #e too$ two steps tow rd "e, le ning over "e nd gl ring with *&ry. L-ell, 8F" so sorry th t 8 c nFt be the right $ind o* "onster *or yo&, Bell . 8 g&ess 8F" J&st not s gre t s bloods&c$er, " 8KL 8 J&"ped to "y *eet nd gl red b c$. LNo, yo&Fre notML 8 sho&ted. L8tFs not wh t yo& are, st&pid, itFs wh t yo& doML L-h tFs th t s&pposed to "e nKL #e ro red, his entire *r "e H&ivering with r ge. 8 w s t $en entirely by s&rprise when 0dw rdFs voice c &tioned "e. LBe very c re*&l, Bell ,L his velvet voice w rned. LDonFt p&sh hi" too * r. +o& need to c l" hi" down.L 0ven the voice in "y he d w s " $ing no sense tod y. 8 listened to hi", tho&gh. 8 wo&ld do nything *or th t voice. L7 cob,L 8 ple ded, " $ing "y tone so*t nd even. L8s it re lly necess ry to kill people, 7 cobK 8snFt there so"e other w yK 8 "e n, i* v "pires c n *ind w y to s&rvive witho&t "&rdering people, co&ldnFt yo& give it try, tooKL
#e str ightened &p with Jer$, li$e "y words h d sent n electric shoc$ thro&gh hi". #is eyebrows shot &p nd his eyes st red wide. LCilling peopleKL he de" nded. L-h t did yo& thin$ we were t l$ing bo&tKL #e w snFt tre"bling ny"ore. #e loo$ed t "e with h l*6hope*&l disbelie*. ,I tho&ght we were t l$ing bo&t yo&r disg&st *or werewolves.L LNo, 7 $e, no. 8tFs not th t yo&Fre N wol*. Th tFs *ine,L 8 pro"ised hi", nd 8 $new s 8 s id the words th t 8 "e nt the". 8 re lly didnFt c re i* he t&rned into big wol*3he w s still 7 cob. L8* yo& co&ld J&st *ind w y not to h&rt peopleN th tFs ll th t &psets "e. These te innocent people, 7 $e, people li$e !h rlie, nd 8 c nFt J&st loo$ the other w y while yo&3L L8s th t llK Be llyKL he interr&pted "e, s"ile bre $ing cross his * ce. L+o&Fre J&st sc red bec &se 8F" "&rdererK Th tFs the only re sonKL L8snFt th t re son eno&ghKL #e st rted to l &gh. L7 cob Bl c$, this is so not *&nnyML LS&re, s&re,L he greed, still chortling. #e too$ one long stride nd c &ght "e in nother vice6tight be r h&g. L+o& re lly, honestly donFt "ind th t 8 "orph into gi nt dogKL he s$ed, his voice Joy*&l in "y e r. LNo,L 8 g sped. L! nFt3bre the37 $eML #e let "e go, b&t too$ both "y h nds. L8F" not $iller, Bell .L 8 st&died his * ce, nd it w s cle r th t this w s the tr&th. Belie* p&lsed thro&gh "e. LBe llyKL 8 s$ed. LBe lly,L he pro"ised sole"nly. 8 threw "y r"s ro&nd hi". 8t re"inded "e o* th t *irst d y with the "otorcycles3he w s bigger, tho&gh, nd 8 *elt even "ore li$e child now. Li$e th t other ti"e, he stro$ed "y h ir. LSorry 8 c lled yo& hypocrite,L he pologiIed. LSorry 8 c lled yo& "&rderer.L #e l &ghed.
8 tho&ght o* so"ething then, nd p&lled w y *ro" hi" so th t 8 co&ld see his * ce. My eyebrows *&rrowed in nxiety. L-h t bo&t S "K And the othersKL #e shoo$ his he d, s"iling li$e h&ge b&rden h d been re"oved *ro" his sho&lders. LE* co&rse not. DonFt yo& re"e"ber wh t we c ll o&rselvesKL The "e"ory w s cle r38Fd J&st been thin$ing o* th t very d y. L?rotectorsKL L0x ctly.L LB&t 8 donFt &nderst nd. -h tFs h ppening in the woodsK The "issing hi$ers, the bloodKL #is * ce w s serio&s, worried t once. L-eFre trying to do o&r Job, Bell . -eFre trying to protect the", b&t weFre lw ys J&st little too l te.L L?rotect the" *ro" wh tK 8s there re lly be r o&t there, tooKL LBell , honey, we only protect people *ro" one thing3o&r one ene"y. 8tFs the re son we exist3 bec &se they do.L 8 st red t hi" bl n$ly *or one second be*ore 8 &nderstood. Then the blood dr ined *ro" "y * ce nd thin, wordless cry o* horror bro$e thro&gh "y lips. #e nodded. L8 tho&ght yo&, o* ll people, wo&ld re li2e wh t w s re lly going on.L LL &rent,L 8 whispered. L#eFs still here.L 7 cob blin$ed twice, nd coc$ed his he d to one side. L-hoFs L &rentKL 8 tried to sort o&t the ch os in "y he d so th t 8 co&ld nswer. L+o& $now3yo& s w hi" in the "e dow. +o& were thereNL The words c "e o&t in wondering tone s it ll s&n$ in. L+o& were there, nd yo& $ept hi" *ro" $illing "eNL LEh, the bl c$6h ired leechKL #e grinned, tight, *ierce grin. L- s th t his n "eKL 8 sh&ddered. L-h t were yo& thin$ingKL 8 whispered. L#e co&ld h ve $illed yo&M 7 $e, yo& donFt re liIe how d ngero&s3L Another l &gh interr&pted "e LBell , one lone v "pire isnFt "&ch o* proble" *or p c$ s big s o&rs. 8t w s so e sy, it w s h rdly even *&nML L-h t w s so e syKL LCilling the bloods&c$er who w s going to $ill yo&. Now, 8 donFt co&nt th t tow rds the whole "&rder thing,L he dded H&ic$ly. L, "pires donFt co&nt s people.L 8 co&ld only "o&th the words. L+o&N $illedN L &rentKL #e nodded. L-ell, it w s gro&p e**ort,L he H& li*ied. LL &rent is de dKL 8 whispered.
#is expression ch nged. L+o&Fre not &pset bo&t th t, re yo&K #e w s going to $ill yo&3he w s going *or the $ill, Bell , we were s&re o* th t be*ore we tt c$ed. +o& $now th t, rightKL L8 $now th t. No, 8F" not &pset38F"NL 8 h d to sit down. 8 st&"bled b c$ step &ntil 8 *elt the dri*twood g inst "y c lves, nd then s n$ down onto it. LL &rent is de d. #eFs not co"ing b c$ *or "e.L L+o&Fre not " dK #e w snFt one o* yo&r *riends or nything, w s heKL LMy *riendKL 8 st red &p t hi", con*&sed nd diIIy with relie*. 8 st rted b bbling, "y eyes getting "oist. LNo, 7 $e. 8F" soN so relieved. 8 tho&ght he w s going to *ind "e38Fve been w iting *or hi" every night, J&st hoping th t heFd stop with "e nd le ve !h rlie lone. 8Fve been so *rightened, 7 cobN B&t howK #e w s v "pireM #ow did yo& $ill hi"K #e w s so strong, so h rd, li$e " rbleNL #e s t down next to "e nd p&t one big r" ro&nd "e co"*ortingly. L8tFs wh t weFre " de *or, Bells. -eFre strong, too. 8 wish yo& wo&ld h ve told "e th t yo& were so *r id. +o& didnFt need to be.L L+o& werenFt ro&nd,L 8 "&"bled, lost in tho&ght. LEh, right.L L- it, 7 $e38 tho&ght yo& $new, tho&gh. L st night, yo& s id it w snFt s *e *or yo& to be in "y roo". 8 tho&ght yo& $new th t v "pire "ight be co"ing. 8snFt th t wh t yo& were t l$ing bo&tKL #e loo$ed con*&sed *or "in&te, nd then he d&c$ed his he d. LNo, th tFs not wh t 8 "e nt.L LThen why didnFt yo& thin$ it w s s *e *or yo& thereKL #e loo$ed t "e with g&ilt6ridden eyes. L8 didnFt s y it w snFt s *e *or me. 8 w s thin$ing o* yo&.L L-h t do yo& "e nKL #e loo$ed down nd $ic$ed roc$. LThereFs "ore th n one re son 8F" not s&pposed to be ro&nd yo&, Bell . 8 w snFt s&pposed to tell yo& o&r secret, *or one thing, b&t the other p rt is th t itFs not s *e *or you. 8* 8 get too " dN too &psetN yo& "ight get h&rt.L 8 tho&ght bo&t th t c re*&lly. L-hen yo& were " d be*oreN when 8 w s yelling t yo&N nd yo& were sh $ingN KL L+e h.L #is * ce dropped even lower. LTh t w s pretty st&pid o* "e. 8 h ve to $eep better hold on "ysel*. 8 swore 8 w snFt going to get " d, no " tter wh t yo& s id to "e. B&tN 8 J&st got so &pser th t 8 w s going to lose yo&N th t yo& co&ldnFt de l with wh t 8 "NL L-h t wo&ld h ppenN i* yo& got too " dKL 8 whispered. L8Fd t&rn into wol*,L he whispered b c$. L+o& donFt need *&ll "oon.L
#e rolled his eyes. L#ollywoodFs version doesnFt get "&ch right.L Then he sighed, nd w s serio&s g in. L+o& donFt need to be so stressed o&t, Bells. -eFre going to t $e c re o* this. And weFre $eeping speci l eye on !h rlie nd the others3we wonFt let nything h ppen to hi". Tr&st "e on th t.L So"ething very, very obvio&s, so"ething 8 sho&ld h ve gr sped t once3b&t 8Fd been so distr cted by the ide o* 7 cob nd his *riends *ighting with L &rent, th t 8Fd co"pletely "issed it t the ti"e3occ&rred to "e only then, when 7 cob &sed the present tense g in. !e$re going to take care of this. 8t w snFt over. LL &rent is de d,L 8 g sped, nd "y entire body went ice cold. LBell KL 7 cob s$ed nxio&sly, to&ching "y shen chee$. L8* L &rent diedN wee$ goN then so"eone else is $illing people no .L 7 cob noddedG his teeth clenched together, nd he spo$e thro&gh the". LThere were two o* the". -e tho&ght his " te wo&ld w nt to *ight &s3in o&r stories, they &s& lly get pretty pissed o** i* yo& $ill their " te3b&t she J&st $eeps r&nning w y, nd then co"ing b c$ g in. 8* we co&ld *ig&re o&t wh t she w s *ter, it wo&ld be e sier to t $e her down. B&t she " $es no sense. She $eeps d ncing ro&nd the edges, li$e sheFs testing o&r de*enses, loo$ing *or w y in3b&t in whereK -here does she w nt to goK S " thin$s sheFs trying to sep r te &s, so sheFll h ve better ch nceNL #is voice * ded &ntil it so&nded li$e it w s co"ing thro&gh long t&nnelG 8 co&ldnFt " $e o&t the individ& l words ny"ore. My *orehe d dewed with swe t nd "y sto" ch rolled li$e 8 h d the sto" ch *l& g in. 0x ctly li$e 8 h d the *l&. 8 t&rned w y *ro" hi" H&ic$ly, nd le ned over the tree tr&n$. My body conv&lsed with &seless he ves, "y e"pty sto" ch contr cting with horri*ied n &se , tho&gh there w s nothing in it to expel. ,ictori w s here. Loo$ing *or "e. Cilling str ngers in the woods. The woods where !h rlie w s se rchingN My he d sp&n sic$eningly. 7 cobFs h nds c &ght "y sho&lders3$ept "e *ro" sliding *orw rd onto the roc$s. 8 co&ld *eel his hot bre th on "y chee$. LBell M -h tFs wrongKL L,ictori ,L 8 g sped s soon s 8 co&ld c tch "y bre th ro&nd the n &seo&s sp s"s. 8n "y he d, 0dw rd sn rled in *&ry t the n "e. 8 *elt 7 cob p&ll "e &p *ro" "y sl&"p. #e dr ped "e w$w rdly cross his l p, l ying "y li"p he d g inst his sho&lder. #e str&ggled to b l nce "e, to $eep "e *ro" s gging over, one w y or the other #e br&shed the swe ty h ir b c$ *ro" "y * ce. L-hoKL 7 cob s$ed. L! n yo& he r "e, Bell K Bell KL
LShe w snFt L &rentFs " te,L 8 "o ned into his sho&lder. LThey were J&st old *riendsNL LDo yo& need so"e w terK A doctorK Tell "e wh t to do,L he de" nded, *r ntic. L8F" not sic$38F" sc red,L 8 expl ined in whisper. The word scared didnFt re lly see" to cover it. 7 cob p tted "y b c$. LSc led o* this ,ictori KL 8 nodded, sh&ddering. L,ictori is the red6 h ired *e" leKL 8 tre"bled g in, nd whi"pered, L+es.L L#ow do yo& $now she w snFt his " teKL LL &rent told "e 7 "es w s her " te,L 8 expl ined, &to" tic lly *lexing the h nd with the sc r. #e p&lled "y * ce ro&nd, holding it ste dy in his big h nd. #e st red intently into "y eyes. LDid he tell yo& nything else, Bell K This is i"port nt. Do yo& $now wh t she w ntsKL LE* co&rse,L 8 whispered. LShe w nts me.L #is eyes *lipped wide, then n rrowed into slits. L-hyKL he de" nded. L0dw rd $illed 7 "es,L 8 whispered. 7 cob held "e so tightly th t there w s no need *or "e to cl&tch t the hole3he $ept "e in one piece. LShe did getN pissed o**. B&t L &rent s id she tho&ght it w s * irer to $ill "e th n 0dw rd. M te *or " te. She didnFt $now3still doesnFt $now, 8 g&ess3th tN th tNL 8 sw llowed h rd. LTh t things renFt li$e th t with &s ny"ore. Not *or 0dw rd, nyw y.L 7 cob w s distr cted by th t, his * ce torn between sever l di**erent expressions. L8s th t wh t h ppenedK -hy the !&llens le*tKL L8F" nothing b&t h&" n, *ter ll. Nothing speci l,L 8 expl ined, shr&gging we $ly. So"ething li$e growl3not re l growl, J&st h&" n pproxi" tion3r&"bled in 7 cobFs chest &nder "y e r. L8* th t idiot bloods&c$er is honestly st&pid eno&gh3L L?le se,L 8 "o ned. L?le se. DonFt.L 7 cob hesit ted, then nodded once. LThis is i"port nt,L he s id g in, his * ce ll b&siness now. LThis is ex ctly wh t we needed to $now. -eFve got to tell the others right w y.L #e stood, p&lling "e to "y *eet. #e $ept two h nds on "y w ist &ntil he w s s&re 8 w snFt going to * ll. L8F" o$ y,L 8 lied. #e tr ded his hold on "y w ist *or one o* "y h nds. LLetFs go.L #e p&lled "e b c$ tow rd the tr&c$. L-here re we goingKL 8 s$ed.
L8F" not s&re yet,L he d"itted. L8Fll c ll "eeting. #ey, w it here *or J&st "in&te, o$ yKL #e le ned "e g inst the side o* the tr&c$ nd rele sed "y h nd. L-here re yo& goingKL L8Fll be right b c$,L he pro"ised. Then he t&rned nd sprinted thro&gh the p r$ing lot, cross the ro d, nd into the bordering *orest. #e *litted into the trees, swi*t nd slee$ s deer. L7 cobML 8 yelled *ter hi" ho rsely, b&t he w s lre dy gone. 8t w s not good ti"e to be le*t lone. Seconds *ter 7 cob w s o&t o* sight, 8 w s hyperventil ting. 8 dr gged "ysel* into the c b o* the tr&c$, nd " shed the loc$s down t once. 8t didnFt " $e "e *eel ny better. ,ictori w s lre dy h&nting "e. 8t w s J&st l&c$ th t she h dnFt *o&nd "e yet3J&st l&c$ nd *ive teen ge werewolves. 8 exh led sh rply. No " tter wh t 7 cob s id, the tho&ght o* hi" co"ing nywhere close to ,ictori w s horri*ying. 8 didnFt c re wh t he co&ld t&rn into when he got " d. 8 co&ld see her in "y he d, her * ce wild, her h ir li$e *l "es, de dly, indestr&ctibleN B&t, ccording to 7 cob, L &rent w s gone. - s th t re lly possibleK 0dw rd38 cl&tched &to" tic lly t "y chest3h d told "e how di**ic&lt it w s to $ill v "pire. Enly nother v "pire co&ld do the Job. +et 7 $e s id this w s wh t werewolves were " de *orN #e s id they were $eeping speci l eye on !h rlie3th t 8 sho&ld tr&st the werewolves to $eep "y * ther s *e. #ow co&ld 8 tr&st th tK None o* &s were s *eM 7 cob the very le st o* ll, i* he w s trying to p&t hi"sel* between ,ictori nd !h rlieN between ,ictori nd "e. 8 *elt li$e 8 "ight be bo&t to throw &p g in. A sh rp r p on the tr&c$Fs window " de "e yelp in terror3b&t it w s J&st 7 cob, b c$ lre dy. 8 &nloc$ed the door with tre"bling, gr te*&l *ingers. L+o&Fre re lly sc red, renFt yo&KL he s$ed s he cli"bed in. 8 nodded. LDonFt be. -eFll t $e c re o* yo&3 nd !h rlie, too. 8 pro"ise.L LThe ide o* yo& *inding ,ictori is sc rier th n the ide o* her *inding "e,L 8 whispered. #e l &ghed. L+o&Fve got to h ve little "ore con*idence in &s th n th t. 8tFs ins&lting.L 8 J&st shoo$ "y he d. 8Fd seen too " ny v "pires in ction. L-here did yo& go J&st nowKL 8 s$ed. #e p&rsed his lips, nd s id nothing. L-h tK 8s it secretKL #e *rowned. LNot re lly. 8tFs $ind o* weird, tho&gh. 8 donFt w nt to *re $ yo& o&t.L
L8F" sort o* &sed to weird by this point, yo& $now.L 8 tried to s"ile witho&t "&ch s&ccess. 7 cob grinned b c$ e sily. L%&ess yo&Fd h ve to be. E$ y. See, when weFre wolves, we c nN he r e ch other.L My eyebrows p&lled down in con*&sion. LNot he r so&nds,L he went on, Lb&t we c n he rN thoughts3e ch otherFs nyw y3no " tter how * r w y *ro" e ch other we re. 8t re lly helps when we h&nt, b&t itFs big p in otherwise. 8tFs e"b rr ssing3h ving no secrets li$e th t. /re $y, ehKL L8s th t wh t yo& "e nt l st night, when yo& s id yo& wo&ld tell the" yo&Fd seen "e, even tho&gh yo& didnFt w nt toKL L+o&Fre H&ic$.L LTh n$s.L L+o&Fre lso very good with weird. 8 tho&ght th t wo&ld bother yo&.L L8tFs notN well, yo&Fre not the *irst person 8Fve $nown who co&ld do th t. So it doesnFt see" so weird to "e.L LBe llyKN - it3 re yo& t l$ing bo&t yo&r bloods&c$ersKL L8 wish yo& wo&ldnFt c ll the" th t.L #e l &ghed. L-h tever. The !&llens, thenKL L7&stN J&st 0dw rd.L 8 p&lled one r" s&rreptitio&sly ro&nd "y torso. 7 cob loo$ed s&rprised3&nple s ntly so. L8 tho&ght those were J&st stories. 8Fve he rd legends bo&t v "pires who co&ld doN extr st&**, b&t 8 tho&ght th t w s J&st "yth.L L8s nything J&st "yth ny"oreKL 8 s$ed hi" wryly. #e scowled. L%&ess not. E$ y, weFre going to "eet S " nd the others t the pl ce we go to ride o&r bi$es.L 8 st rted the tr&c$ nd he ded b c$ &p the ro d. LSo did yo& J&st t&rn into wol* now, to t l$ to S "KL 8 s$ed, c&rio&s. 7 cob nodded, see"ing e"b rr ssed. L8 $ept it re l short38 tried not to thin$ bo&t yo& so they wo&ldnFt $now wh t w s going on. 8 w s *r id S " wo&ld tell "e 8 co&ldnFt bring yo&.L LTh t wo&ldnFt h ve stopped "e.L 8 co&ldnFt get rid o* "y perception o* S " s the b d g&y. My teeth clenched together whenever 8 he rd his n "e. L-ell, it wo&ld h ve stopped me,L 7 cob s id, "orose now. LBe"e"ber how 8 co&ldnFt *inish "y sentences l st nightK #ow 8 co&ldnFt J&st tell yo& the whole storyKL
L+e h. +o& loo$ed li$e yo& were cho$ing on so"ething.L #e ch&c$led d r$ly. L!lose eno&gh. S " told "e 8 co&ldnFt tell yo&. #eFsN the he d o* the p c$, yo& $now. #eFs the Alph . -hen he tells &s to do so"ething, or not to do so"ething3when he re lly "e ns it, well, we c nFt J&st ignore hi".L L-eird,L 8 "&ttered. L,ery,L he greed. L8tFs $ind o* wol* thing.L L#&hL w s the best response 8 co&ld thin$ o*. L+e h, thereFs lo d o* st&** li$e th t3wol* things. 8F" still le rning. 8 c nFt i" gine wh t it w s li$e *or S ", trying to de l with this lone. 8t s&c$s b d eno&gh to go thro&gh it with whole p c$ *or s&pport.L LS " w s loneKL L+e h.L 7 cobFs voice lowered. L-hen 8N ch nged, it w s the "ostN horrible, the "ost terrifying thing 8Fve ever been thro&gh3worse th n nything 8 co&ld h ve i" gined. B&t 8 w snFt lone3there were the voices there, in "y he d, telling "e wh t h d h ppened nd wh t 8 h d to do. Th t $ept "e *ro" losing "y "ind, 8 thin$. B&t S "NL #e shoo$ his he d. LS " h d no help.L This w s going to t $e so"e dJ&sting. -hen 7 cob expl ined it li$e th t, it w s h rd not to *eel co"p ssion *or S ". 8 h d to $eep re"inding "ysel* th t there w s no re son to h te hi" ny"ore. L-ill they be ngry th t 8F" with yo&KL 8 s$ed. #e " de * ce. L?rob bly.L LM ybe 8 sho&ldnFt3L LNo, itFs o$ y,L he ss&red "e. L+o& $now ton o* things th t c n help &s. 8tFs not li$e yo&Fre J&st so"e ignor nt h&" n. +o&Fre li$e N 8 donFt $now, spy or so"ething. +o&Fve been behind ene"y lines.L 8 *rowned to "ysel*. - s th t wh t 7 cob wo&ld w nt *ro" "eK 8nsider in*or" tion to help the" destroy their ene"iesK 8 w snFt spy, tho&gh. 8 h dnFt been collecting th t $ind o* in*or" tion. Alre dy, his words " de "e *eel li$e tr itor. B&t 8 w nted hi" to stop ,ictori , didnFt 8K No. 8 did w nt ,ictori to be stopped, pre*er bly be*ore she tort&red "e to de th or r n into !h rlie or $illed nother str nger. 8 J&st didnFt w nt 7 cob to be the one to stop her, or r ther to try. 8 didnFt w nt 7 cob within h&ndred "iles o* her.
LLi$e the st&** bo&t the "ind6re ding bloods&c$er,L he contin&ed, oblivio&s to "y reverie. LTh tFs the $ind o* thing we need to $now bo&t. Th t re lly s&c$s th t those stories re tr&e. 8t " $es everything "ore co"plic ted. #ey, do yo& thin$ this ,ictori c n do nything speci lKL L8 donFt thin$ so,L 8 hesit ted, nd then sighed. L#e wo&ld h ve "entioned it.L L#eK Eh, yo& "e n 0dw rd3oops, sorry. 8 *orgot. +o& donFt li$e to s y his n "e. Er he r it.L 8 sH&eeIed "y "idsection, trying to ignore the throbbing ro&nd the edges o* "y chest. LNot re lly, no.L LSorry.L L#ow do yo& $now "e so well, 7 cobK So"eti"es itFs li$e yo& c n re d my "ind.L LN w. 8 J&st p y ttention.L -e were on the little dirt ro d where 7 cob h d *irst t &ght "e to ride the "otorcycle. LThis goodKL 8 s$ed. LS&re, s&re.L 8 p&lled over nd c&t the engine. L+o&Fre still pretty &nh ppy, renFt yo&KL he "&r"&red. 8 nodded, st ring &nseeingly into the gloo"y *orest. LDid yo& ever thin$N th t " ybeN yo&Fre better o**KL 8 inh led slowly, nd then let "y bre th o&t. LNo.L LF! &se he w snFt the best3L L?le se, 7 cob,L 8 interr&pted, begging in whisper. L!o&ld we ple se not t l$ bo&t thisK 8 c nFt st nd it.L LE$ y.L #e too$ deep bre th. L8F" sorry 8 s id nything.L LDonFt *eel b d. 8* things were di**erent, it wo&ld be nice to *in lly be ble to t l$ to so"eone bo&t it.L #e nodded. L+e h, 8 h d h rd ti"e $eeping secret *ro" yo& *or two wee$s. 8t "&st be hell to not be ble to t l$ to anyone.L L#ell,L 8 greed. 7 cob s&c$ed in sh rp bre th. LTheyFre here. LetFs go.L LAre yo& s&reKL 8 s$ed while he popped his door open. LM ybe 8 sho&ldnFt be here.L
LTheyFll de l with it,L he s id, nd then he grinned. L-hoFs *r id o* the big, b d wol*KL L# h ,L 8 s id. B&t 8 got o&t o* the tr&c$, h&rrying ro&nd the *ront end to st nd close beside 7 cob. 8 re"e"bered only too cle rly the gi nt "onsters in the "e dow. My h nds were tre"bling li$e 7 cobFs h d been be*ore, b&t with *e r r ther th n r ge. 7 $e too$ "y h nd nd sH&eeIed it. L#ere we go.L
14. FAMI!Y
8 !E-0B0D 8NTE 7A!EBFS S8D0, M+ 0+0S S!ANN8N% the *orest *or the other werewolves. -hen they ppe red, striding o&t *ro" between the trees, they werenFt wh t 8 w s expecting. 8Fd gotten the i" ge o* the wolves st&c$ in "y he d. These were J&st *o&r re lly big h l*6n $ed boys. Ag in, they re"inded "e o* brothers, H& dr&plets. So"ething bo&t the w y they "oved l"ost in synchroniI tion to st nd cross the ro d *ro" &s, the w y they ll h d the s "e long, ro&nd "&scles &nder the s "e red6brown s$in, the s "e cropped bl c$ h ir, nd the w y their expressions ltered t ex ctly the s "e "o"ent. They st rted o&t c&rio&s nd c &tio&s. -hen they s w "e there, h l*6hidden beside 7 cob, they ll bec "e *&rio&s in the s "e second. S " w s still the biggest, tho&gh 7 cob w s getting close to c tching &p with hi". S " didnFt re lly co&nt s boy. #is * ce w s older3not in the sense o* lines or signs o* ging, b&t in the " t&nry, the p tience o* his expression. L-h t h ve yo& done, 7 cobKL he de" nded. Ene o* the others, one 8 didnFt recogniIe37 red or ? &l3thr&st p st S " nd spo$e be*ore 7 cob co&ld de*end hi"sel*. L-hy c nFt yo& J&st *ollow the r&les, 7 cobKL he yelled, throwing his r"s in the ir. L-h t the hell re yo& thin$ingK 8s she "ore i"port nt th n everything3th n the whole tribeK Th n the people getting $illedKL LShe c n help,L 7 cob s id H&ietly. L#elpML the ngry boy sho&ted. #is r"s begin to H&iver. LEh, th tFs li$elyM 8F" s&re the leech6 lover is J&st dying to help &s o&tML LDonFt t l$ bo&t her li$e th tML 7 cob sho&ted b c$, st&ng by the boyFs criticis". A sh&dder rippled thro&gh the other boy, long his sho&lders nd down his spine. L? &lM Bel xML S " co"" nded.
? &l shoo$ his he d b c$ nd *orth, not in de*i nce, b&t s tho&gh he were trying to concentr te. L7eeI, ? &l,L one o* the other boys3prob bly 7 red3"&ttered. L%et grip.L ? &l twisted his he d tow rd 7 red, his lips c&rling b c$ in irrit tion. Then he shi*ted his gl re in "y direction. 7 cob too$ step to p&t hi"sel* in *ront o* "e. Th t did it. LBight, protect herML ? &l ro red in o&tr ge. Another sh&dder, conv&lsion, he ved thro&gh his body. #e threw his he d b c$, re l growl te ring *ro" between his teeth. L? &lML S " nd 7 cob sho&ted together. ? &l see"ed to * ll *orw rd, vibr ting violently. # l*w y to the gro&nd, there w s lo&d ripping noise, nd the boy exploded. D r$ silver *&r blew o&t *ro" the boy, co lescing into sh pe "ore th n *ive6ti"es his siIe3 " ssive, cro&ched sh pe, re dy to spring. The wol*Fs "&IIle wrin$led b c$ over his teeth, nd nother growl rolled thro&gh his coloss l chest. #is d r$, enr ged eyes *oc&sed on "e. 8n the s "e second, 7 cob w s r&nning cross the ro d str ight *or the "onster. L7 cobML 8 scre "ed. Mid6stride, long tre"or shivered down 7 cobFs spine. #e le ped *orw rd, diving he d*irst into the e"pty ir. -ith nother sh rp te ring so&nd, 7 cob exploded, too. #e b&rst o&t o* his s$in3shreds o* bl c$ nd white cloth bl sted &p into the ir. 8t h ppened so H&ic$ly th t i* 8Fd blin$ed, 8Fd h ve "issed the entire tr ns*or" tion. Ene second it w s 7 cob diving into the ir, nd then it w s the gig ntic, r&sset brown wol*3so enor"o&s th t 8 co&ldnFt " $e sense o* its " ss so"ehow *itting inside 7 cob3ch rging the cro&ched silver be st. 7 cob "et the other werewol*Fs tt c$ he d6on. Their ngry sn rls echoed li$e th&nder o** the trees. The bl c$ nd white scr ps3the re" ins o* 7 cobFs clothes3*l&ttered to the gro&nd where heFd dis ppe red. L7 cobML 8 scre "ed g in, st ggering *orw rd. LSt y where yo& re, Bell ,L S " ordered. 8t w s h rd to he r hi" over the ro r o* the *ighting wolves. They were sn pping nd te ring t e ch other, their sh rp teeth *l shing tow rd e ch otherFs thro ts. The 7 cob6wol* see"ed to h ve the &pper h nd3he w s visibly bigger th n the other wol*, nd it loo$ed li$e le w s stronger, too. #e r ""ed his sho&lder g inst the gr y wol* g in nd g in, $noc$ing hi" b c$ tow rd the trees. LT $e her to 0"ilyFs,L S " sho&ted tow rd the other boys, who were w tching the con*lict with r pt expressions. 7 cob h d s&ccess*&lly shoved the gr y wol* o** the ro d, nd they were
dis ppe ring into the *orest, tho&gh the so&nd o* their sn rls w s still lo&d. S " r n *ter the", $ic$ing o** his shoes on the w y. As he d rted into the trees, he w s H&ivering *ro" he d to toe. The growling nd sn pping w s * ding into the dist nce. S&ddenly, the so&nd c&t o** nd it w s very H&iet on the ro d. Ene o* the boys st rted l &ghing. 8 t&rned to st re t hi"3"y wide eyes *elt *roIen, li$e 8 co&ldnFt even blin$ the". The boy see"ed to be l &ghing t "y expression. L-ell, thereFs so"ething yo& donFt see every d y,L he snic$ered. #is * ce w s v g&ely * "ili r3thinner th n the othersN 0"bry ! ll. L8 do,L the other boy, 7 red, gr&"bled. L0very single d y.L LAw, ? &l doesnFt lose his te"per every d y,L 0"bry dis greed, still grinning. LM ybe two o&t o* three.L 7 red stopped to pic$ so"ething white &p o** the gro&nd. #e held it &p tow rd 0"bryG it d ngled in li"p strips *ro" his h nd. LTot lly shredded,L 7 red s id. LBilly s id this w s the l st p ir he co&ld **ord3g&ess 7 cobFs going b re*oot now.L LThis one s&rvived,L 0"bry s id, holding &p white sne $er. L7 $e c n hop,L he dded with l &gh. 7 red st rted collecting v rio&s pieces o* * bric *ro" the dirt. L%et S "Fs shoes, will yo&K All the rest o* this is he ded *or the tr sh.L 0"bry gr bbed the shoes nd then Jogged into the trees where S " h d dis ppe red. #e w s b c$ in *ew seconds with p ir o* c&t6o** Je ns dr ped over his r". 7 red g thered the torn re"n nts o* 7 cobFs nd ? &lFs clothes nd w dded the" into b ll. S&ddenly, he see"ed to re"e"ber "e. #e loo$ed t "e c re*&lly, ssessing. L#ey, yo&Fre not going to * int or p&$e or nythingKL he de" nded. L8 donFt think so,L 8 g sped. L+o& donFt loo$ so good. M ybe yo& sho&ld sit down.L LE$ y,L 8 "&"bled. /or the second ti"e in one "orning, 8 p&t "y he d between "y $nees. L7 $e sho&ld h ve w rned &s,L 0"bry co"pl ined. L#e sho&ldnFt h ve bro&ght his girl*riend into this. -h t did he expectKL L-ell, the wol*Fs o&t o* the b g now.L 0"bry sighed. L- y to go, 7 $e.L
8 r ised "y he d to gl re t the two boys who see"ed to be t $ing this ll so lightly. LArenFt yo& worried bo&t the" t llKL 8 de" nded. 0"bry blin$ed once in s&rprise L-orriedK -hyKL LThey co&ld h&rt e ch otherML 0"bry nd 7 red g&** wed. L8 hope ? &l gets "o&th*&l o* hi",L 7 red s id. LTe ch hi" lesson.L 8 bl nched. L+e h, rightML 0"bry dis greed. LDid yo& see 7 $eK 0ven S " co&ldnFt h ve ph sed on the *ly li$e th t. #e s w ? &l losing it, nd it too$ hi", wh t, h l* second to tt c$K The boyFs got gi*t.L L? &lFs been *ighting longer. 8Fll bet yo& ten b&c$s he le ves " r$.L L+o&Fre on. 7 $eFs n t&r l. ? &l doesnFt h ve pr yer.L They shoo$ h nds, grinning. 8 tried to co"*ort "ysel* with their l c$ o* concern, b&t 8 co&ldnFt drive the br&t l i" ge o* the *ighting werewolves *ro" "y he d. My sto" ch ch&rned, sore nd e"pty, "y he d ched with worry. LLetFs go see 0"ily. +o& $now sheFll h ve *ood w iting.L 0"bry loo$ed down t "e. LMind giving &s rideKL LNo proble",L 8 cho$ed. 7 red r ised one eyebrow. LM ybe yo&Fd better drive, 0"bry. She still loo$s li$e she "ight h&rl.L L%ood ide . -here re the $eysKL 0"bry s$ed "e. L8gnition.L 0"bry opened the p ssenger6side door. L8n yo& go,L he s id cheer*&lly, h &ling "e &p *ro" the gro&nd with one h nd nd st&**ing "e into "y se t. #e ppr ised the v il ble sp ce. L+o&Fll h ve to ride in the b c$,L he told 7 red. LTh tFs *ine. 8 got we $ sto" ch. 8 donFt w nt to be in there when she blows.L L8 bet sheFs to&gher th n th t. She r&ns with v "pires.L L/ive b&c$sKL 7 red s$ed. LDone. 8 *eel g&ilty, t $ing yo&r "oney li$e this.L
0"bry got in nd st rted the engine while 7 red le pt gilely into the bed. As soon s his door w s closed, 0"bry "&ttered to "e, LDonFt throw &p, o$ yK 8Fve only got ten, nd i* ? &l got his teeth into 7 cobNL LE$ y,L 8 whispered. 0"bry drove &s b c$ tow rd the vill ge. L#ey, how did 7 $e get ro&nd the inJ&nction nyw yKL LTheN wh tKL L0r, the order. +o& $now, to not spill the be ns. #ow did he tell yo& bo&t thisKL LEh, th t,L 8 s id, re"e"bering 7 cob trying to cho$e o&t the tr&th to "e l st night. L#e didnFt. 8 g&essed right.L 0"bry p&rsed his lips, loo$ing s&rprised. L#"". SFpose th t wo&ld wor$.L L-here re we goingKL 8 s$ed. L0"ilyFs ho&se. SheFs S "Fs girl*riendN no, *i ncee, now, 8 g&ess. TheyFll "eet &s b c$ there *ter S " gives it to the" *or wh t J&st h ppened. And *ter ? &l nd 7 $e scro&nge &p so"e new clothes, i* ? &l even h s ny le*t.L LDoes 0"ily $now bo&tN KL L+e h. And hey, donFt st re t her. Th t b&gs S ".L 8 *rowned t hi". L-hy wo&ld 8 st reKL 0"bry loo$ed &nco"*ort ble. LLi$e yo& s w J&st now, h nging o&t ro&nd werewolves h s its ris$s.L #e ch nged the s&bJect H&ic$ly. L#ey, re yo& o$ y bo&t the whole thing with the bl c$6 h ired bloods&c$er in the "e dowK 8t didnFt loo$ li$e he w s *riend o* yo&rs, b&t. .L 0"bry shr&gged. LNo, he w snFt "y *riend.L LTh tFs good. -e didnFt w nt to st rt nything, bre $ the tre ty, yo& $now.L LEh, ye h, 7 $e told "e bo&t the tre ty once, long ti"e go. -hy wo&ld $illing L &rent bre $ the tre tyKL LL &rent,L he repe ted, snorting, li$e he w s "&sed the v "pire h d h d n "e. L-ell, we were technic lly on !&llen t&r*. -eFre not llowed to tt c$ ny o* the", the !&llens, t le st, o** o&r l nd3&nless they bre $ the tre ty *irst. -e didnFt $now i* the bl c$6h ired one w s rel tive o* theirs or so"ething. Loo$ed li$e yo& $new hi".L L#ow wo&ld they go bo&t bre $ing the tre tyKL L8* they bite h&" n. 7 $e w snFt so $een on the ide o* letting it go th t * r.L
LEh. '", th n$s. 8F" gl d yo& didnFt w it.L LE&r ple s&re.L #e so&nded li$e he "e nt th t in liter l sense. 0"bry drove p st the e stern"ost ho&se on the highw y be*ore t&rning o** onto n rrow dirt ro d. L+o&r tr&c$ is slow,L he noted. LSorry.L At the end o* the l ne w s tiny ho&se th t h d once been gr y. There w s only one n rrow window beside the we thered bl&e door, b&t the window box &nder it w s *illed with bright or nge nd yellow " rigolds, giving the whole pl ce cheer*&l loo$. 0"bry opened the tr&c$ door nd inh led. LM"", 0"ilyFs coo$ing.L 7 red J&"ped o&t o* the b c$ o* the tr&c$ nd he ded *or the door, b&t 0"bry stopped hi" with one h nd on his chest. #e loo$ed t "e "e ning*&lly, nd cle red his thro t. L8 donFt h ve "y w llet on "e,L 7 red s id. LTh tFs o$ y. 8 wonFt *orget.L They cli"bed &p the one step nd entered the ho&se witho&t $noc$ing. 8 *ollowed ti"idly *ter the". The *ront roo", li$e BillyFs ho&se, w s "ostly $itchen. A yo&ng wo" n with s tiny copper s$in nd long, str ight, crow6bl c$ h ir w s st nding t the co&nter by the sin$, popping big "&**ins o&t o* tin nd pl cing the" on p per pl te. /or one second, 8 tho&ght the re son 0"bry h d told "e not to st re w s bec &se the girl w s so be &ti*&l. And then she s$ed L+o& g&ys h&ngryKL in "elodic voice, nd she t&rned to * ce &s *&ll on, s"ile on h l* o* her * ce. The right side o* her * ce w s sc rred *ro" h irline to chin by three thic$, red lines, livid in color tho&gh they were long he led. Ene line p&lled down the corner o* her d r$, l"ond6sh ped right eye, nother twisted the right side o* her "o&th into per" nent gri" ce. Th n$*&l *or 0"bryFs w rning, 8 H&ic$ly t&rned "y eyes to the "&**ins in her h nds. They s"elled wonder*&l3li$e *resh bl&eberries. LEh,L 0"ily s id, s&rprised. L-hoFs thisKL 8 loo$ed &p, trying to *oc&s on the le*t h l* o* her * ce. LBell Sw n,L 7 red told her, shr&gging. App rently, 8Fd been topic o* convers tion be*ore. L-ho elseKL LLe ve it to 7 cob to *ind w y ro&nd,L 0"ily "&r"&red. She st red t "e, nd neither h l* o* her once6be &ti*&l * ce w s *riendly. LSo, yo&Fre the v "pire girl.L 8 sti**ened. L+es. Are yo& the wol* girlKL
She l &ghed, s did 0"bry nd 7 red. The le*t h l* o* her * ce w r"ed. L8 g&ess 8 ".L She t&rned to 7 red. L-hereFs S "KL LBell , er, s&rprised ? &l this "orning.L 0"ily rolled her good eye. LAh, ? &l,L she sighed. LDo yo& thin$ theyFll be longK 8 w s J&st bo&t to st rt the eggs.L LDonFt worry,L 0"bry told her. L8* theyFre l te, we wonFt let nything go to w ste.L 0"ily ch&c$led, nd then opened the re*riger tor. LNo do&bt,L she greed. LBell , re yo& h&ngryK %o he d nd help yo&rsel* to "&**in.L LTh n$s.L 8 too$ one *ro" the pl te nd st rted nibbling ro&nd the edges. 8t w s delicio&s, nd it *elt good in "y tender sto" ch. 0"bry pic$ed &p his third nd shoved it into his "o&th whole. LS ve so"e *or yo&r brothers,L 0"ily ch stised hi", hitting hi" on the he d with wooden spoon. The word s&rprised "e, b&t the others tho&ght nothing o* it. L?ig,L 7 red co""ented. 8 le ned g inst the co&nter nd w tched the three o* the" b nter li$e * "ily. 0"ilyFs $itchen w s *riendly pl ce, bright with white c&pbo rds nd p le wooden *loorbo rds. En the little ro&nd t ble, cr c$ed bl&e6 nd6white chin pitcher w s over*lowing with wild*lowers. 0"bry nd 7 red see"ed entirely t e se here. 0"ily w s "ixing h&"ongo&s b tch o* eggs, sever l doIen, in big yellow bowl. She h d the sleeves o* her l vender shirt p&shed &p, nd 8 co&ld see th t the sc rs extended ll the w y down her r" to the b c$ o* her right h nd. # nging o&t with werewolves tr&ly did h ve its ris$s, J&st s 0"bry h d s id. The *ront door opened, nd S " stepped thro&gh. L0"ily,L he s id, nd so "&ch love s t&r ted his voice th t 8 *elt e"b rr ssed, intr&sive, s 8 w tched hi" cross the roo" in one stride nd t $e her * ce in his wide h nds. #e le ned down nd $issed the d r$ sc rs on her right chee$ be*ore he $issed her lips. L#ey, none o* th t,L 7 red co"pl ined. L8F" e ting.L LThen sh&t &p nd e t,L S " s&ggested, $issing 0"ilyFs r&ined "o&th g in. L'gh,L 0"bry gro ned. This w s worse th n ny ro" ntic "ovieG this w s so re l th t it s ng o&t lo&d with Joy nd li*e nd tr&e love. 8 p&t "y "&**in down nd *olded "y r"s cross "y e"pty chest. 8 st red t the *lowers, trying to ignore the &tter pe ce o* their "o"ent, nd the wretched throbbing o* "y wo&nds. 8 w s gr te*&l *or the distr ction when 7 cob nd ? &l c "e thro&gh the door, nd then shoc$ed when 8 s w th t they were l &ghing. -hile 8 w tched, ? &l p&nched 7 cob on the sho&lder nd 7 cob went *or $idney J b in ret&rn. They l &ghed g in. They both ppe red to be in one piece.
7 cob sc nned the roo", his eyes stopping when he *o&nd "e le ning, w$w rd nd o&t o* pl ce, g inst the co&nter in the * r corner o* the $itchen. L#ey, Bells,L he greeted "e cheer*&lly. #e gr bbed two "&**ins s he p ssed the t ble nd c "e to st nd beside "e. LSorry bo&t be*ore,L he "&ttered &nder his bre th. L#ow re yo& holding &p.FL LDonFt worry, 8F" o$ y. %ood "&**ins.L 8 pic$ed "ine b c$ &p nd st rted nibbhrg g in. My chest *elt better s soon s 7 cob w s beside "e. LEh, " nML 7 red w iled, interr&pting &s. 8 loo$ed &p, nd he nd 0"bry were ex "ining * ding pin$ line on ? &lFs *ore r". 0"bry w s grinning, ex&lt nt. L/i*teen doll rs,L he crowed. LDid yo& do th tKL 8 whispered to 7 cob, re"e"bering the bet. L8 b rely to&ched hi". #eFll be per*ect by s&ndown.L LBy s&ndownKL 8 loo$ed t the line on ? &lFs r". Edd, b&t it loo$ed wee$s old. L-ol* thing,L 7 cob whispered. 8 nodded, trying to not loo$ weirded o&t. L.ou o$ yKL 8 s$ed hi" &nder "y bre th. LNot scr tch on "e.L #is expression w s s"&g. L#ey, g&ys,L S " s id in lo&d voice, interr&pting ll the convers tions going on in the s" ll roo". 0"ily w s t the stove, scr ping the egg "ixt&re ro&nd big s$illet, b&t S " still h d one h nd to&ching the s" ll o* her b c$, n &nconscio&s gest&re. L7 cob h s in*or" tion *or &s.L ? &l loo$ed &ns&rprised. 7 cob "&st h ve expl ined this to hi" nd S " lre dy. ErN theyFd J&st he rd his tho&ghts. L8 $now wh t the redhe d w nts.L 7 cob directed his words tow rd 7 red nd 0"bry. LTh tFs wh t 8 w s trying to tell yo& be*ore.L #e $ic$ed the leg o* the ch ir ? &l h d settled into. LAndKL 7 red s$ed. 7 cobFs * ce got serio&s. LShe is trying to venge her " te3only it w snFt the bl c$6h ired leech e $illed. The !&llens got her " te l st ye r, nd sheFs *ter Bell now.L This w snFt news to "e, b&t 8 still shivered. 7 red, 0"bry, nd 0"ily st red t "e with open6"o&thed s&rprise. LSheFs J&st girl,L 0"bry protested.
L8 didnFt s y it " de sense. B&t th tFs why the bloods&c$erFs been trying to get p st &s. SheFs been he ding *or /or$s.L They contin&ed to st re t "e, "o&ths still h nging open, *or long "o"ent. 8 d&c$ed "y he d. L0xcellent,L 7 red *in lly s id, s"ile beginning to p&ll &p the corners o* his "o&th. L-eFve got b it.L -ith st&nning speed, 7 cob y n$ed c n opener *ro" the co&nter nd l &nched it t 7 redFs he d. 7 redFs h nd *lic$ed &p * ster th n 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght possible, nd he sn gged the tool J&st be*ore it hit his * ce. LBell is not b it.L L+o& $now wh t 8 "e n,L 7 red s id, &n b shed. LSo weFll be ch nging o r p tterns,L S " s id, ignoring their sH& bble. L-eFll try le ving *ew holes, nd see i* she * lls *or it. -eFll h ve to split &p, nd 8 donFt li$e th t. B&t i* sheFs re lly *ter Bell , she prob bly wonFt try to t $e dv nt ge o* o&r divided n&"bers.L LA&itFs got to be close to Joining &s,L 0"bry "&r"&red. LThen weFll be ble to split evenly.L 0veryone loo$ed down. 8 gl nced t 7 cobFs * ce, nd it w s hopeless, li$e it h d been yesterd y *ternoon, o&tside his ho&se. No " tter how co"*ort ble they see"ed to be with their * te, here in this h ppy $itchen, none o* these werewolves w nted the s "e * te *or their *riend. L-ell, we wonFt co&nt on th t,L S " s id in low voice, nd then contin&ed t his reg&l r vol&"e. L? &l, 7 red, nd 0"bry will t $e the o&ter peri"eter, nd 7 cob nd 8 will t $e the inner. -eFll coll pse in when weFve got her tr pped.L 8 noticed th t 0"ily didnFt p rtic&l rly li$e th t S " wo&ld be in the s" ller gro&ping. #er worry h d "e gl ncing &p t 7 cob, worrying, too. S " c &ght "y eye. L7 cob thin$s it wo&ld be best i* yo& spent s "&ch ti"e s possible here in L ?&sh. She wonFt $now where to *ind yo& so e sily, J&st in c se.L L-h t bo&t !h rlieKL 8 de" nded. LM rch M dness is still going,L 7 cob s id. L8 thin$ Billy nd # rry c n " n ge to $eep !h rlie down here when heFs not t wor$.L L- it,L S " s id, holding one h nd &p. #is gl nce *lic$ered to 0"ily nd then b c$ to "e. LTh tFs wh t 7 cob thin$s is best, b&t yo& need to decide *or yo&rsel*. +o& sho&ld weigh the ris$s o* both options very serio&sly. +o& s w this "orning how e sily things c n get d ngero&s here, how H&ic$ly they get o&t o* h nd. 8* yo& choose to st y with &s, 8 c nFt " $e ny g& r ntees bo&t yo&r s *ety.L L8 wonFt h&rt her,L 7 cob "&"bled, loo$ing down. S " cted s i* he h dnFt he rd hi" spe $. L8* there w s so"ewhere else yo& *elt s *eNL
8 bit "y lip. -here co&ld 8 go th t wo&ldnFt p&t so"eone else in d ngerK 8 recoiled g in *ro" the ide o* bringing Benee into this3p&lling her into the circle o* the t rget 8 woreN L8 donFt w nt to le d ,ictori nywhere else,L 8 whispered. S " nodded. LTh tFs tr&e. 8tFs better to h ve her here, where we c n end this.L 8 *linched. 8 didnFt w nt 7 cob or ny o* the rest o* the" trying to end ,ictori . 8 gl nced t 7 $eFs * ceG it w s rel xed, l"ost the s "e s 8 re"e"bered it *ro" be*ore the onset o* the wol* thing, nd &tterly &nconcerned by the ide o* h&nting v "pires. L+o&Fll be c re*&l, rightKL 8 s$ed, n &dible l&"p in "y thro t. The boys b&rst into lo&d hoots o* "&se"ent. 0veryone l &ghed t "e3except 0"ily. She "et "y eyes, nd 8 co&ld s&ddenly see the sy""etry &nderlying her de*or"ity. #er * ce w s still be &ti*&l, nd live with concern even "ore *ierce th n "ine. 8 h d to loo$ w y, be*ore the love behind th t concern co&ld st rt "e ching g in. L/oodFs re dy,L she nno&nced then, nd the str tegic convers tion w s history. The g&ys h&rried to s&rro&nd the t ble3which loo$ed tiny nd in d nger o* being cr&shed by the"3 nd devo&red the b&**et6siIed p n o* eggs 0"ily pl ced in their "idst in record ti"e. 0"ily te le ning g inst the co&nter li$e "e3 voiding the bedl " t the t ble3 nd w tched the" with **ection te eyes. #er expression cle rly st ted th t this w s her * "ily. All in ll, it w snFt ex ctly wh t 8Fd been expecting *ro" p c$ o* werewolves. 8 spent the d y in L ?&sh, the " Jority o* it in BillyFs ho&se. #e le*t "ess ge on !h rlieFs phone nd t the st tion, nd !h rlie showed &p ro&nd dinnerti"e with two piII s. 8t w s good he bro&ght two l rgesG 7 cob te one ll by hi"sel*. 8 s w !h rlie eyeing the two o* &s s&spicio&sly ll night, especi lly the "&ch6ch nged 7 cob. #e s$ed bo&t the h irG 7 cob shr&gged nd told hi" it w s J&st "ore convenient. 8 $new th t s soon s !h rlie nd 8 were he ded ho"e, 7 cob wo&ld t $e o**3o** to r&n ro&nd s wol*, s he h d done inter"ittently thro&gh the entire d y. #e nd his brothers o* sorts $ept &p const nt w tch, loo$ing *or so"e sign o* ,ictori Fs ret&rn. B&t since theyFd ch sed her w y *ro" the hot springs l st night3ch sed her h l*w y to ! n d , ccording to 7 cob3sheFd yet to " $e nother *or y. 8 h d no hope t ll th t she "ight J&st give &p. 8 didnFt h ve th t $ind o* l&c$. 7 cob w l$ed "e to "y tr&c$ *ter dinner nd lingered by the window, w iting *or !h rlie to drive w y *irst. LDonFt be *r id tonight,L 7 cob s id, while !h rlie pretended to be h ving tro&ble with his se t belt. L-eFll be o&t there, w tching.L L8 wonFt worry bo&t "ysel*,L 8 pro"ised. L+o&Fre silly. #&nting v "pires is *&n. 8tFs the best p rt o* this whole "ess.L 8 shoo$ "y he d. L8* 8F" silly, then yo&Fre d ngero&sly &nb l nced.L
#e ch&c$led. L%et so"e rest, Bell , honey. +o& loo$ exh &sted.L L8Fll try.L !h rlie hon$ed his horn i"p tiently. LSee yo& to"orrow,L 7 cob s id. L!o"e down *irst thing.L L8 will.L !h rlie *ollowed "e ho"e. 8 p id sc nt ttention to the lights in "y re rview "irror. 8nste d, 8 wondered where S " nd 7 red nd 0"bry nd ? &l were, o&t r&nning in the night. 8 wondered i* 7 cob h d Joined the" yet. -hen we got ho"e, 8 h&rried *or the st irs, b&t !h rlie w s right behind "e. L-h tFs going on, Bell KL he de" nded be*ore 8 co&ld esc pe. L8 tho&ght 7 cob w s p rt o* g ng nd yo& two were *ighting.L L-e " de &p.L LAnd the g ngKL L8 donFt $now3who c n &nderst nd teen ge boysK TheyFre "ystery. B&t 8 "et S " 'ley nd his *i ncee, 0"ily. The see"ed pretty nice to "e.L 8 shr&gged. LM&st h ve ll been "is&nderst nding.L #is * ce ch nged. L8 h dnFt he rd th t he nd 0"ily h d " de it o**ici l. Th tFs nice. ?oor girl.L LDo yo& $now wh t h ppened to herKL LM &led by be r, &p north, d&ring s l"on sp wning se son3horrible ccident 8t w s "ore th n ye r go now. 8 he rd S " w s re lly "essed &p over it.L LTh tFs horrible,L 8 echoed. More th n ye r go. 8Fd bet th t "e nt it h d h ppened when there w s J&st one werewol* in L ?&sh. 8 sh&ddered t the tho&ght o* how S " "&st h ve *elt every ti"e he loo$ed t 0"ilyFs * ce. Th t night, 8 l y w $e *or long ti"e trying to sort thro&gh the d y. 8 wor$ed "y w y b c$w rd thro&gh dinner with Billy, 7 cob, nd ! h rlie, to the long *ternoon in the Bl c$sF ho&se, w iting nxio&sly to he r so"ething *ro" 7 cob, to 0"ilyFs $itchen, to the horror o* the werewol* *ight, to t l$ing with 7 cob on the be ch. 8 tho&ght bo&t wh t 7 cob h d s id e rly this "orning, bo&t hypocrisy. 8 tho&ght bo&t th t *or long ti"e. 8 didnFt li$e to thin$ th t 8 w s hypocrite, only wh t w s the point o* lying to "ysel*K 8 c&rled into tight b ll. No, 0dw rd w snFt $iller. 0ven in his d r$er p st, heFd never been "&rderer o* innocents, t le st.
B&t wh t i* he had beenK -h t i*, d&ring the ti"e 8 th t 8Fd $nown hi", heFd been J&st li$e ny other v "pireK -h t i* people h d been dis ppe ring *ro" the woods, J&st li$e nowK -o&ld th t h ve $ept "e w y *ro" hi"K 8 shoo$ "y he d s dly. Love is irr tion l, 8 re"inded "ysel*. The "ore yo& loved so"eone, the less sense nything " de. 8 rolled over nd tried to thin$ o* so"ething else3 nd 8 tho&ght o* 7 cob nd his brothers, o&t r&nning in the d r$ness. 8 *ell sleep i" gining the wolves, invisible in the night, g& rding "e *ro" d nger. -hen 8 dre "ed, 8 stood in the *orest g in, b&t 8 didnFt w nder. 8 w s holding 0"ilyFs sc rred h nd s we * ced into the sh dows nd w ited nxio&sly *or o&r werewolves to co"e ho"e.
15 PRESSURE
8T -AS S?B8N% BB0AC 8N /EBCS A%A8N. -#0N 8 -EC0 '? on Mond y "orning, 8 l y in bed *or *ew seconds bsorbing th t. L st spring bre $, 8Fd been h&nted by v "pire, too. 8 hoped this w snFt so"e $ind o* tr dition *or"ing. Alre dy 8 w s * lling into the p ttern o* things in L ?&sh. 8Fd spent S&nd y "ostly on the be ch, while !h rlie h&ng o&t with Billy t the Bl c$sF ho&se. 8 w s s&pposed to be with 7 cob, b&t 7 cob h d other things to do, so 8 w ndered lone, $eeping the secret *ro" !h rlie. -hen 7 cob dropped in to chec$ on "e, he pologiIed *or ditching "e so "&ch. #e told "e his sched&le w snFt lw ys this cr Iy, b&t &ntil ,ictori w s stopped, the wolves were on red lert. -hen we w l$ed long the be ch now, he lw ys held "y h nd. This " de "e brood over wh t 7 red h d s id, bo&t 7 cob involving his Lgirl*riend.L 8 s&pposed th t th t w s ex ctly wh t it loo$ed li$e *ro" the o&tside. As long s 7 $e nd 8 $new how it re lly w s, 8 sho&ldnFt let those $inds o* ss&"ptions bother "e. And " ybe they wo&ldnFt, i* 8 h dnFt $nown th t 7 cob wo&ld h ve loved *or things to be wh t they ppe red. B&t his h nd *elt nice s it w r"ed "ine, nd 8 didnFt protest. 8 wor$ed T&esd y *ternoon37 cob *ollowed "e on his bi$e to " $e s&re 8 rrived s *ely3 nd Mi$e noticed. LAre yo& d ting th t $id *ro" L ?&shK The sopho"oreKL #e s$ed, poorly disg&ising the resent"ent in his tone. 8 shr&gged. LNot in the technic l sense o* the word. 8 do spent "ost o* "y ti"e with 7 cob, tho&gh. #eFs "y best *riend.L Mi$eFs eyes n rrowed shrewdly. LDonFt $id yo&rsel*, Bell . The g&yFs he d over heels *or yo&.L L8 $now,L 8 sighed. LLi*e is co"plic ted.L
LAnd girls re cr&el,L Mi$e s id &nder his bre th. 8 s&pposed th t w s n e sy ss&"ption to " $e, too. Th t night, S " nd 0"ily Joined !h rlie nd "e *or dessert t BillyFs ho&se. 0"ily bro&ght c $e th t wo&ld h ve won over h rder " n th n !h rlie. 8 co&ld see, s the convers tion *lowed n t&r lly thro&gh r nge o* c s& l s&bJects, th t ny worries !h rlie "ight h ve h rbored bo&t g ngs in L ?&sh were being dissolved. 7 $e nd 8 s$ipped o&t e rly, to get so"e priv cy. -e went o&t to his g r ge nd s t in the B bbit. 7 cob le ned his he d b c$, his * ce dr wn with exh &stion. L+o& need so"e sleep, 7 $e.L L8Fll get ro&nd to it.L #e re ched over nd too$ "y h nd. #is s$in w s bl Iing on "ine. L8s th t one o* those wol* thingsKL 8 s$ed hi". LThe he t, 8 "e n.L L+e h. -e r&n little w r"er th n the nor" l people. Abo&t one6oh6eight, one6oh6nine. 8 never get cold ny"ore. 8 co&ld st nd li$e thisL3he gest&red to his b re torso3Lin snowstor" nd it wo&ldnFt bother "e. The *l $es wo&ld t&rn to r in where 8 stood.L LAnd yo& ll he l * st3th tFs wol* thing, tooKL L+e h, w nn seeK 8tFs pretty cool.L #is eyes *lipped open nd he grinned. #e re ched ro&nd "e to the glove co"p rt"ent nd d&g ro&nd *or "in&te. #is h nd c "e o&t with poc$et$ni*e. LNo, 8 do not w nt to seeML 8 sho&ted s soon s 8 re liIed wh t he w s thin$ing. L?&t th t w yML 7 cob ch&c$led, b&t shoved the $ni*e b c$ where it belonged. L/ine. 8tFs good thing we he l, tho&gh. +o& c nFt go see J&st ny doctor when yo&Fre r&nning te"per t&re th t sho&ld "e n yo&Fre de d.L LNo, 8 g&ess not.L 8 tho&ght bo&t th t *or "in&te. LN And being so big3th tFs p rt o* itK 8s th t why yo&Fre ll worried bo&t A&ilKL LTh t nd the * ct th t A&ilFs gr nd* ther s ys the $id co&ld *ry n egg on his *orehe d.L 7 cobFs * ce t&rned hopeless. L8t wonFt be long now. ThereFs no ex ct geN it J&st b&ilds nd b&ilds nd then s&ddenly3L #e bro$e o**, nd it w s "o"ent be*ore he co&ld spe $ g in. LSo"eti"es, i* yo& get re lly &pset or so"ething, th t c n trigger it e rly. B&t 8 w snFt &pset bo&t nything3 8 w s happy.L #e l &ghed bitterly. LBec &se o* yo&, "ostly. Th tFs why it didnFt h ppen to "e sooner. 8nste d it J&st $ept on b&ilding &p inside "e38 w s li$e ti"e bo"b. +o& $now wh t set "e o**K 8 got b c$ *ro" th t "ovie nd Billy s id 8 loo$ed weird. Th t w s ll, b&t 8 J&st sn pped. And then 838 exploded. 8 l"ost ripped his * ce o**3"y own * therML #e sh&ddered, nd his * ce p led. L8s it re lly b d, 7 $eKL 8 s$ed nxio&sly, wishing 8 h d so"e w y to help hi". LAre yo& "iser bleKL
LNo, 8F" not "iser ble,L he told "e. LNot ny"ore. Not now th t yo& $now. Th t w s h rd, be*ore.L #e le ned over so th t his chee$ w s resting on top o* "y he d. #e w s H&iet *or "o"ent, nd 8 wondered wh t he w s thin$ing bo&t. M ybe 8 didnFt w nt to $now. L-h tFs the h rdest p rtKL 8 whispered, still wishing 8 co&ld help. LThe h rdest p rt is *eelingN o&t o* control,L he s id slowly. L/eeling li$e 8 c nFt be s&re o* "ysel*3li$e " ybe yo& shouldn$t be ro&nd "e, li$e " ybe nobody sho&ld. Li$e 8F" "onster who "ight h&rt so"ebody. +o&Fve seen 0"ily. S " lost control o* his te"per *or J&st one secondN nd she w s st nding too close. And now thereFs nothing he c n ever do to p&t it right g in. 8 he r his tho&ghts38 $now wh t th t *eels li$eN L-ho w nts to be night" re, "onsterK LAnd then, the w y it co"es so e sily to "e, the w y 8F" better t it th n the rest o* the"3does th t " $e "e even less h&" n th n 0nbry or S "K So"eti"es 8F" *r id th t 8F" losing "ysel*.L L8s it h rdK To *ind yo&rsel* g inKL LAt *irst,L he s id. L8t t $es so"e pr ctice to ph se b c$ nd *orth. B&t itFs e sier tor "e.L L-hyKL 8 wondered. LBec &se 0phr i" Bl c$ w s "y * therFs gr nd* ther, nd A&il Ate r w s "y "otherFs gr nd* ther.L LA&ilKL 8 s$ed in con*&sion. L#is gre t6gr nd* ther,L 7 cob cl ri*ied. LThe A&il yo& $now is "y second co&sin.L LB&t why does it " tter who yo&r gre t6gr nd* thers reKL LBec &se 0phr i" nd A&il were in the l st p c$. Levi 'ley w s the third. 8tFs in "y blood on both sides. 8 never h d ch nce. Li$e A&il doesnFt h ve ch nce.L #is expression w s ble $. L-h tFs the very best p rtKL 8 s$ed, hoping to cheer hi" &p. LThe best p rt,L he s id, s&ddenly s"iling g in, Lis the speed.L LBetter th n the "otorcyclesKL #e nodded, enth&si stic. LThereFs no co"p rison.L L#ow * st c n yo&N KL LB&nKL he *inished "y H&estion. L/ st eno&gh. -h t c n 8 "e s&re it byK -e c &ghtN wh t w s his n "eK L &rentK 8 i" gine th t "e ns "ore to yo& th n it wo&ld to so"eone else.L
8t did "e n so"ething to "e. 8 co&ldnFt i" gine th t3the wolves r&nning * ster th n v "pire. -hen the !&llens r n, they ll b&t t&rned invisible with speed. LSo, tell "e so"ething I donFt $now,L he s id. LSo"ething bo&t v "pires. #ow did yo& st nd it, being ro&nd the"K DidnFt it creep yo& o&tKL LNo,L 8 s id c&rtly. My tone " de hi" tho&ght*&l *or "o"ent. LS y, whyFd yo&r bloods&c$er $ill th t 7 "es, nyw yKL he s$ed s&ddenly. L7 "es w s trying to $ill "e3it w s li$e g "e *or hi". #e lost. Do yo& re"e"ber l st spring when 8 w s in the hospit l down in ?hoenixKL 7 cob s&c$ed in bre th. L#e got th t closeKL L#e got very, very close.L 8 stro$ed "y sc r. 7 cob noticed, bec &se he held the h nd 8 "oved. L-h tFs th tKL #e tr ded h nds, ex "ining "y right. LThis is yo&r *&nny sc r, the cold one.L #e loo$ed t it closer, with new eyes, nd g sped. L+es, itFs wh t yo& thin$ it is,L 8 s id. L7 "es bit "e.L #is eyes b&lged, nd his * ce t&rned str nge, s llow color &nder the r&sset s&r* ce. #e loo$ed li$e he w s bo&t to be sic$. LB&t i* he bit yo&N K Sho&ldnFt yo& beN KL #e cho$ed. L0dw rd s ved "e twice,L 8 whispered. L#e s&c$ed the veno" o&t3yo& $now, li$e with r ttlesn $e.L 8 twitched s the p in l shed ro&nd the edges o* the hole. B&t 8 w snFt the only one twitching. 8 co&ld *eel 7 cobFs whole body tre"bling next to "ine. 0ven the c r shoo$. L! re*&l, 7 $e. 0 sy. ! in down.L L+e h,L he p nted. L! l".L #e shoo$ his he d b c$ nd *orth H&ic$ly. A*ter "o"ent, only his h nds were sh $ing. L+o& o$ yKL L+e h, l"ost. Tell "e so"ething else. %ive "e so"ething else to thin$ bo&t.L L-h t do yo& w nt to $nowKL L8 donFt $now.L #e h d his eyes closed, concentr ting. LThe extr st&** 8 g&ess. Did ny o* the other !&llens h veN extr t lentsK Li$e the "ind re dingKL 8 hesit ted second. This *elt li$e H&estion he wo&ld s$ o* his spy, not his *riend. B&t wh t w s the point o* hiding wh t 8 $newK 8t didnFt " tter now, nd it wo&ld help hi" control hi"sel*.
So 8 spo$e H&ic$ly, the i" ge o* 0"ilyFs r&ined * ce in "y "ind, nd the h ir rising on "y r"s. 8 co&ldnFt i" gine how the r&sset wol* wo&ld *it inside the B bbit37 cob wo&ld te r the whole g r ge p rt i* he ch nged now. L7 sper co&ldN sort o* control the e"otions o* the people ro&nd hi". Not in b d w y, J&st to c l" so"eone down, th t $ind o* thing. 8t wo&ld prob bly help ? &l lot,L 8 dded, te sing we $ly. LAnd then Alice co&ld see things th t were going to h ppen. The *&t&re, yo& $now, b&t not bsol&tely. The things she s w wo&ld ch nge when so"eone ch nged the p th they were onNL Li$e how sheFd seen "e dyingN nd sheFd seen "e beco"ing one o* the". Two things th t h d not h ppened. And one th t never wo&ld. My he d st rted to spin38 co&ldnFt see" to p&ll in eno&gh oxygen *ro" the ir. No l&ngs. 7 cob w s entirely in control now, very still beside "e. L-hy do yo& do th tKL he s$ed. #e t&gged lightly t one o* "y r"s, which w s bo&nd ro&nd "y chest, nd then g ve &p when it wo&ldnFt co"e loose e sily. 8 h dnFt even re liIed 8Fd "oved the". L+o& do th t when yo&Fre &pset. -hyKL L8t h&rts to thin$ bo&t the",L 8 whispered. L8tFs li$e 8 c nFt bre theN li$e 8F" bre $ing into piecesNL8t w s biI rre how "&ch 8 co&ld tell 7 cob now. -e h d no "ore secrets. #e s"oothed "y h ir. L8tFs o$ y, Bell , itFs o$ y. 8 wonFt bring it &p g in. 8F" sorry.L L8F" *ine.L 8 g sped. L# ppens ll the ti"e. Not yo&r * &lt.L L-eFre pretty "essed6&p p ir, renFt weKL 7 cob s id. LNeither one o* &s c n hold o&r sh pe together right.L L? thetic,L 8 greed, still bre thless. LAt le st we h ve e ch other,L he s id, cle rly co"*orted by the tho&ght. 8 w s co"*orted, too. LAt le st thereFs th t,L 8 greed. And when we were together, it w s *ine. B&t 7 cob h d horrible, d ngero&s Job he *elt co"pelled to do, nd so 8 w s o*ten lone, st&c$ in L ?&sh *or s *ety, with nothing to do to $eep "y "ind o** ny o* "y worries. 8 *elt w$w rd, lw ys t $ing &p sp ce t BillyFs. 8 did so"e st&dying *or nother ! lc&l&s test th t w s co"ing &p next wee$, b&t 8 co&ld only loo$ t " th *or so long. -hen 8 didnFt h ve so"ething obvio&s to do in "y h nds, 8 *elt li$e 8 o&ght to be " $ing convers tion with Billy3the press&re o* nor" l societ l r&les. B&t Billy w snFt one *or *illing &p the long silences, nd so the w$w rdness contin&ed. 8 tried h nging o&t t 0"ilyFs pl ce -ednesd y *ternoon, *or ch nge. At *irst it w s $ind o* nice. 0"ily w s cheer*&l person who never s t still. 8 dri*ted behind her while she *litted ro&nd her little ho&se nd y rd, scr&bbing t the spotless *loor, p&lling tiny weed, *ixing bro$en hinge, t&gging string o* wool thro&gh n ncient loo", nd lw ys coo$ing, too. She co"pl ined lightly bo&t the incre se in the boysF ppetites *ro" ll their extr r&nning, b&t it
w s e sy to see she didnFt "ind t $ing c re o* the". 8t w snFt h rd to be with her3 *ter ll, we were both wol* girls now. B&t S " chec$ed in *ter 8Fd been there *or *ew ho&rs. 8 only st yed long eno&gh to scert in th t 7 cob w s *ine nd there w s no news, nd then 8 h d to esc pe. The &r o* love nd content"ent th t s&rro&nded the" w s h rder to t $e in concentr ted doses, with no one else ro&nd to dil&te it. So th t le*t "e w ndering the be ch, p cing the length o* the roc$y crescent b c$ nd *orth, g in nd g in. Alone ti"e w snFt good *or "e. Th n$s to the new honesty with 7 cob, 8Fd been t l$ing nd thin$ing bo&t the !&llens w y too "&ch. No " tter how 8 tried to distr ct "ysel*3 nd 8 h d plenty to thin$ o*O 8 w s honestly nd desper tely worried bo&t 7 cob nd his wol*6brothers, 8 w s terri*ied *or !h rlie nd the others who tho&ght they were h&nting ni" ls, 8 w s getting in deeper nd deeper with 7 cob witho&t ever h ving conscio&sly decided to progress in th t direction nd 8 didnFt $now wh t to do bo&t it3none o* these very re l, very deserving o* tho&ght, very pressing concerns co&ld t $e "y "ind o** the p in in "y chest *or long. 0vent& lly, 8 co&ldnFt even w l$ ny"ore, bec &se 8 co&ldnFt bre the. 8 s t down on p tch o* se"idry roc$s nd c&rled &p in b ll. 7 cob *o&nd "e li$e th t, nd 8 co&ld tell *ro" his expression th t he &nderstood. LSorry,L he s id right w y. #e p&lled "e &p *ro" the gro&nd nd wr pped both r"s ro&nd "y sho&lders. 8 h dnFt re liIed th t 8 w s cold &ntil then. #is w r"th " de "e sh&dder, b&t t le st 8 co&ld bre the with hi" there. L8F" r&ining yo&r spring bre $,L 7 cob cc&sed hi"sel* s we w l$ed b c$ &p the be ch. LNo, yo&Fre not. 8 didnFt h ve ny pl ns. 8 donFt thin$ 8 li$e spring bre $s, nyw y.L L8Fll t $e to"orrow "orning o**. The others c n r&n witho&t "e. -eFll do so"ething *&n.L The word see"ed o&t o* pl ce in "y li*e right now, b rely co"prehensible, biI rre. L/&nKL L/&n is ex ctly wh t yo& need. #""NL he g Ied o&t cross the he ving gr y w ves, deliber ting. As his eyes sc nned the horiIon, he h d *l sh o* inspir tion. L%ot itML he crowed. LAnother pro"ise to $eep.L L-h t re yo& t l$ing bo&tKL #e let go o* "y h nd nd pointed tow rd the so&thern edge o* the be ch, where the *l t, roc$y h l*6"oon de d6ended g inst the sheer se cli**s. 8 st red, &nco"prehending. LDidnFt 8 pro"ise to t $e yo& cli** divingKL 8 shivered. L+e h, itFll be pretty cold3not s cold s it is tod y. ! n yo& *eel the we ther ch ngingK The press&reK 8t will be w r"er to"orrow. +o& &p *or itKL
The d r$ w ter did not loo$ inviting, nd, *ro" this ngle, the cli**s loo$ed even higher th n be*ore. B&t it h d been d ys since 8Fd he rd 0dw rdFs voice. Th t w s prob bly p rt o* the proble". 8 w s ddicted to the so&nd o* "y del&sions. 8t " de things worse i* 8 went too long witho&t the". 7&"ping o** cli** w s cert in to re"edy th t sit& tion. LS&re, 8F" &p *or it. /&n.L L8tFs d te,L he s id, nd dr ped his r" ro&nd "y sho&lders. LE$ y3now letFs go get yo& so"e sleep.L 8 didnFt li$e the w y the circles &nder his eyes were beginning to loo$ per" nently etched onto his s$in.
8 wo$e e rly the next "orning nd sn&c$ ch nge o* clothes o&t to the tr&c$. 8 h d *eeling th t !h rlie wo&ld pprove o* tod yFs pl n J&st bo&t s "&ch s he wo&ld pprove o* the "otorcycle. The ide o* distr ction *ro" ll "y worries h d "e l"ost excited. M ybe it ould be *&n. A d te with 7 cob, d te with 0dw rdN 8 l &ghed d r$ly to "ysel*. 7 $e co&ld s y wh t he w nted bo&t &s being "essed6&p p ir38 w s the one who w s tr&ly "essed &p. 8 " de the werewol* see" downright nor" l. 8 expected 7 cob to "eet "e o&t *ront, the w y he &s& lly did when "y noisy tr&c$ nno&nced "y rriv l. -hen he didnFt, 8 g&essed th t he "ight still be sleeping. 8 wo&ld w it3let hi" get s "&ch rest s he co&ld. #e needed his sleep, nd th t wo&ld give the d y ti"e to w r" bit "ore. 7 $e h d been right bo&t the we ther, tho&ghG it h d ch nged in the night. A thic$ l yer o* clo&ds pressed he vily on the t"osphere now, " $ing it l"ost s&ltryG it w s w r" nd close &nder the gr y bl n$et. 8 le*t "y swe ter in the tr&c$. 8 $noc$ed H&ietly on the door. L!F"on in, Bell ,L Billy s id. #e w s t the $itchen t ble, e ting cold cere l. L7 $e sleepingKL L0r, no.L #e set his spoon down, nd his eyebrows p&lled together. L-h t h ppenedKL 8 de" nded. 8 co&ld tell *ro" his expression th t something h d. L0"bry, 7 red, nd ? &l crossed *resh tr il e rly this "orning. S " nd 7 $e too$ o** to help. S " w s hope*&l3sheFs hedged hersel* in beside the "o&nt ins. #e thin$s they h ve good ch nce to *inish this.L LEh, no, Billy,L 8 whispered. LEh, no.L #e ch&c$led, deep nd low. LDo yo& re lly li$e L ?&sh so well th t yo& w nt to extend yo&r sentence hereKL
LDonFt " $e Jo$es, Billy. This is too sc ry *or th t.L L+o&Fre right,L he greed, still co"pl cent. #is ncient eyes were i"possible to re d. LThis oneFs tric$y.L 8 bit "y lip. L8tFs not s d ngero&s *or the" s yo& thin$ it is. S " $nows wh t heFs doing. +o&Fre the one th t yo& sho&ld worry bo&t. The v "pire doesnFt w nt to *ight the". SheFs J&st trying to *ind w y ro&nd the"N to yo&.L L#ow does S " $now wh t heFs doingKL 8 de" nded, br&shing side his concern *or "e. LTheyFve only $illed J&st the one v "pire3th t co&ld h ve been l&c$.L L-e t $e wh t we do very serio&sly, Bell . NothingFs been *orgotten. 0verything they need to $now h s been p ssed down *ro" * ther to son *or gener tions.L Th t didnFt co"*ort "e the w y he prob bly intended it to. The "e"ory o* ,ictori , wild, c tli$e, leth l, w s too strong in "y he d. 8* she co&ldnFt get ro&nd the wolves, she ould event& lly try to go thro&gh the". Billy went b c$ to his bre $* stG 8 s t down on the so* nd *lipped i"lessly tho&gh the T, ch nnels. Th t didnFt l st long. 8 st rted to *eel closed in by the s" ll roo", cl &strophobic, &pset by the * ct th t 8 co&ldnFt see o&t the c&rt ined windows. L8Fll be t the be ch,L 8 told Billy br&ptly, nd h&rried o&t the door. Being o&tside didnFt help s "&ch s 8Fd hoped. The clo&ds p&shed down with n invisible weight th t $ept the cl &strophobi *ro" e sing. The *orest see"ed str ngely v c nt s 8 w l$ed tow rd the be ch. 8 didnFt see ny ni" ls3no birds, no sH&irrels. 8 co&ldnFt he r ny birds, either. The silence w s eerieG there w snFt even the so&nd o* wind in the trees. 8 $new it w s ll J&st prod&ct o* the we ther, b&t it still " de "e edgy. The he vy, w r" press&re o* the t"osphere w s perceptible even to "y we $ h&" n senses, nd it hinted t so"ething " Jor in the stor" dep rt"ent. A gl nce t the s$y b c$ed this &pG the clo&ds were ch&rning sl&ggishly despite the l c$ o* breeIe on the gro&nd. The closest clo&ds were s"o$y gr y, b&t between the cr c$s 8 co&ld see nother l yer th t w s gr&eso"e p&rple color. The s$ies h d *erocio&s pl n in store *or tod y. The ni" ls "&st be b&n$ering down. As soon s 8 re ched the be ch, 8 wished 8 h dnFt co"e38Fd lre dy h d eno&gh o* this pl ce. 8Fd been here l"ost every d y, w ndering lone. - s it so "&ch di**erent *ro" "y night" resK B&t where else to goK 8 tr&dged down to the dri*twood tree, nd s t t the end so th t 8 co&ld le n g inst the t ngled roots. 8 st red &p t the ngry s$y broodingly, w iting *or the *irst drops to bre $ the stillness. 8 tried not to thin$ bo&t the d nger 7 cob nd his *riends were in. Bec &se nothing co&ld h ppen to 7 cob. The tho&ght w s &nend&r ble. 8Fd lost too "&ch lre dy3wo&ld * te t $e the l st *ew shreds o* pe ce le*t behindK Th t see"ed &n* ir, o&t o* b l nce. B&t " ybe 8Fd viol ted so"e &n$nown r&le, crossed so"e line th t h d conde"ned "e. M ybe it w s wrong to be so involved with "yths nd legends, to t&rn "y b c$ on the h&" n world. M ybeN No. Nothing wo&ld h ppen to 7 cob. 8 h d to believe th t or 8 wo&ldnFt be ble to *&nction.
LArghML 8 gro ned, nd J&"ped o** the log. 8 co&ldnFt sit stillG it w s worse th n p cing. 8Fd re lly been co&nting on he ring 0dw rd this "orning. 8t see"ed li$e th t w s the one thing th t "ight " $e it be r ble to live thro&gh this d y. The hole h d been *estering l tely, li$e it w s getting revenge *or the ti"es th t 7 cobFs presence h d t "ed it. The edges b&rned. The w ves pic$ed &p s 8 p ced, beginning to cr sh g inst the roc$s, b&t there w s still no wind. 8 *elt pinned down by the press&re o* the stor". 0verything swirled ro&nd "e, b&t it w s per*ectly still where 8 stood. The ir h d * int electric ch rge38 co&ld *eel the st tic in "y h ir. / rther o&t, the w ves were ngrier th n they were long the shore. 8 co&ld see the" b ttering g inst the line o* the cli**s, spr ying big white clo&ds o* se *o " into the s$y. There w s still no "ove"ent in the ir, tho&gh the clo&ds roiled "ore H&ic$ly now. 8t w s eerie loo$ing3li$e the clo&ds were "oving by their own will. 8 shivered, tho&gh 8 $new it w s J&st tric$ o* the press&re. The cli**s were bl c$ $ni*e edge g inst the livid s$y. St ring t the", 8 re"e"bered the d y 7 cob h d told "e bo&t S " nd his Lg ng.L 8 tho&ght o* the boys3the werewolves3throwing the"selves into the e"pty ir. The i" ge o* the * lling, spir ling *ig&res w s still vivid in "y "ind. 8 i" gined the &tter *reedo" o* the * llN 8 i" gined the w y 0dw rdFs voice wo&ld h ve so&nded in "y he d3*&rio&s, velvet, per*ectN The b&rning in "y chest *l red goniIingly. There h d to be so"e w y to H&ench it. The p in w s growing "ore nd "ore intoler ble by the second. 8 gl red t the cli**s nd the cr shing w ves. -ell, why notK -hy not H&ench it right nowK 7 cob h d pro"ised "e cli** diving, h dnFt heK 7&st bec &se he w s &n v il ble, sho&ld 8 h ve to give &p the distr ction 8 needed so b dly3needed even worse because 7 cob w s o&t ris$ing his li*eK Bis$ing it, in essence, *or "e. 8* it werenFt *or "e, ,ictori wo&ld not be $illing people hereN J&st so"ewhere else, * r w y. 8* nything h ppened to 7 cob, it wo&ld be "y * &lt. Th t re liI tion st bbed deep nd h d "e Jogging b c$ &p to the ro d tow rd BillyFs ho&se, where "y tr&c$ w ited. 8 $new "y w y to the l ne th t p ssed closest to the cli**s, b&t 8 h d to h&nt *or the little p th th t wo&ld t $e "e o&t to the ledge. As 8 *ollowed it, 8 loo$ed *or t&rns or *or$s, $nowing th t 7 $e h d pl nned to t $e "e o** the lower o&tcropping r ther th n the top, b&t the p th wo&nd in thin single line tow rd the brin$ with no options. 8 didnFt h ve ti"e to *ind nother w y down3 the stor" w s "oving in H&ic$ly now. The wind w s *in lly beginning to to&ch "e, the clo&ds pressing closer to the gro&nd. 7&st s 8 re ched the pl ce where the dirt p th * nned o&t into the stone precipice, the *irst drops bro$e thro&gh nd spl ttered on "y * ce. 8t w s not h rd to convince "ysel* th t 8 didnFt h ve ti"e to se rch *or nother w y38 anted to J&"p *ro" the top. This w s the i" ge th t h d lingered in "y he d. 8 w nted the long * ll th t wo&ld *eel li$e *lying. 8 $new th t this w s the st&pidest, "ost rec$less thing 8 h d done yet. The tho&ght " de "e s"ile. The p in w s lre dy e sing, s i* "y body $new th t 0dw rdFs voice w s J&st seconds w yN
The oce n so&nded very * r w y, so"ehow * rther th n be*ore, when 8 w s on the p th in the trees. 8 gri" ced when 8 tho&ght o* the prob ble te"per t&re o* the w ter. B&t 8 w snFt going to let th t stop "e. The wind blew stronger now, whipping the r in into eddies ro&nd "e. 8 stepped o&t to the edge, $eeping "y eyes on the e"pty sp ce in *ront o* "e. My toes *elt he d blindly, c ressing the edge o* the roc$ when they enco&ntered it. 8 drew in deep bre th nd held it . . w iting. LBell .L 8 s"iled nd exh led. .esK 8 didnFt nswer o&t lo&d, *or *e r th t the so&nd o* "y voice wo&ld sh tter the be &ti*&l ill&sion. #e so&nded so re l, so close. 8t w s only when lie w s dis pproving li$e this th t 8 co&ld he r the tr&e "e"ory o* his voice3the velvet text&re nd the "&sic l inton tion th t " de &p the "ost per*ect o* ll voices. LDonFt do this,L he ple ded. .ou anted me to be human, 8 re"inded hi". !ell, atch me. L?le se. /or "e.L 2ut you on$t stay ith me any other ay. L?le se.L 8t w s J&st whisper in the blowing r in th t tossed "y h ir nd drenched "y clothes3 " $ing "e s wet s i* this were "y second J&"p o* the d y. 8 rolled &p onto the b lls o* "y *eet. LNo, Bell ML #e w s ngry now, nd the nger w s so lovely. 8 s"iled nd r ised "y r"s str ight o&t, s i* 8 were going to dive, li*ting "y * ce into the r in. B&t it w s too ingr ined *ro" ye rs o* swi""ing t the p&blic pool3*eet *irst, *irst ti"e. 8 le ned *orw rd, cro&ching to get "ore springN And 8 *l&ng "ysel* o** the cli**. 8 scre "ed s 8 dropped thro&gh the open ir li$e "eteor, b&t it w s scre " o* exhil r tion nd not *e r. The wind resisted, trying v inly to *ight the &nconH&er ble gr vity, p&shing g inst "e nd twirling "e in spir ls li$e roc$et cr shing to the e rth. .esM The word echoed thro&gh "y he d s 8 sliced thro&gh the s&r* ce o* the w ter. 8t w s icy, colder th n 8Fd *e red, nd yet the chill only dded to the high. 8 w s pro&d o* "ysel* s 8 pl&nged deeper into the *reeIing bl c$ w ter. 8 h dnFt h d one "o"ent o* terror3J&st p&re dren line. Be lly, the * ll w snFt sc ry t ll. -here w s the ch llengeK Th t w s when the c&rrent c &ght "e.
8Fd been so preocc&pied by the siIe o* the cli**s, by the obvio&s d nger o* their high, sheer * ces, th t 8 h dnFt worried t ll bo&t the d r$ w ter w iting. 8 never dre "ed th t the tr&e "en ce w s l&r$ing * r below "e, &nder the he ving s&r*. 8t *elt li$e the w ves were *ighting over "e, Jer$ing "e b c$ nd *orth between the" s i* deter"ined to sh re by p&lling "e into h lves. 8 $new the right w y to void riptideO swi" p r llel to the be ch r ther th n str&ggling *or the shore. B&t the $nowledge did "e little good when 8 didnFt $now which w y the shore w s. 8 co&ldnFt even tell which w y the s&r* ce w s. The ngry w ter w s bl c$ in every directionG there w s no brightness to direct "e &pw rd. %r vity w s ll6power*&l when it co"peted with the ir, b&t it h d nothing on the w ves38 co&ldnFt *eel downw rd p&ll, sin$ing in ny direction. 7&st the b ttering o* the c&rrent th t *l&ng "e ro&nd nd ro&nd li$e r g doll. 8 *o&ght to $eep "y bre th in, to $eep "y lips loc$ed ro&nd "y l st store o* oxygen. 8t didnFt s&rprise "e th t "y del&sion o* 0dw rd w s there. #e owed "e th t "&ch, considering th t 8 w s dying. 8 as s&rprised by how s&re th t $nowledge w s. 8 w s going to drown. 8 w s drowning. LCeep swi""ingML 0dw rd begged &rgently in "y he d. !hereK There w s nothing b&t the d r$ness. There w s no pl ce to swi" to. LStop th tML he ordered. LDonFt yo& d re give &pML The cold o* the w ter w s n&"bing "y r"s nd legs. 8 didnFt *eel the b&**eting so "&ch s be*ore. 8t w s "ore o* J&st diIIiness now, helpless spinning in the w ter. B&t 8 listened to hi". 8 *orced "y r"s to contin&e re ching, "y legs to $ic$ h rder, tho&gh every second 8 w s * cing new direction. 8t co&ldnFt be doing ny good. -h t w s the pointK L/ightML he yelled. LD "n it, Bell , $eep *ighting.L !hy7 8 didnFt w nt to *ight ny"ore. And it w snFt the light6he dedness, or the cold, or the * il&re o* "y r"s s the "&scles g ve o&t in exh &stion, th t " de "e content to st y where 8 w s. 8 w s l"ost h ppy th t it w s over. This w s n e sier de th th n others 8Fd * ced. Eddly pe ce*&l. 8 tho&ght brie*ly o* the clichQs, bo&t how yo& were s&ppose to see yo&r li*e *l sh be*ore yo&r eyes. 8 w s so "&ch l&c$ier. -ho w nted to see rer&n, nyw yK 8 s w him, nd 8 h d no will to *ight. 8t w s so cle r, so "&ch "ore de*ined th n ny "e"ory. My s&bconscio&s h d stored 0dw rd w y in *l wless det il, s ving hi" *or this *in l "o"ent. 8 co&ld see his per*ect * ce s i* he were re lly thereG the ex ct sh de o* his icy s$in, the sh pe o* his lips, the line o* his J w, the gold glinting in his *&rio&s eyes. #e w s ngry, n t&r lly, th t 8 w s giving &p. #is teeth were clenched nd his nostrils *l red with r ge. LNoM Bell , noML
My e rs were *looded with the *reeIing w ter, b&t his voice w s cle rer th n ever. 8 ignored his words nd concentr ted on the so&nd o* his voice. -hy wo&ld 8 *ight when 8 w s so h ppy where 8 w sK 0ven s "y l&ngs b&rned *or "ore ir nd "y legs cr "ped in the icy cold, 8 w s content. 8Fd *orgotten wh t re l h ppiness *elt li$e. # ppiness. 8t " de the whole dying thing pretty be r ble. The c&rrent won t th t "o"ent, shoving "e br&ptly g inst so"ething h rd, roc$ invisible in the gloo". 8t hit "e solidly cross the chest, sl ""ing into "e li$e n iron b r, nd the bre th whooshed o&t o* "y l&ngs, esc ping in thic$ clo&d o* silver b&bbles. - ter *looded down "y thro t, cho$ing nd b&rning. The iron b r see"ed to be dr gging "e, p&lling "e w y *ro" 0dw rd, deeper into the d r$, to the oce n *loor. #oodbye, I love you, w s "y l st tho&ght.
16. PARIS
AT T#AT MEM0NT, M+ #0AD BBEC0 T#0 S'B/A!0. #ow disorienting. 8Fd been s&re 8 w s sin$ing. The c&rrent wo&ldnFt let &p. 8t w s sl ""ing "e g inst "ore roc$sG they be t g inst the center o* "y b c$ sh rply, rhyth"ic lly, p&shing the w ter *ro" "y l&ngs. 8t g&shed o&t in " Iing vol&"e, bsol&te torrents po&ring *ro" "y "o&th nd nose. The s lt b&rned nd "y l&ngs b&rned nd "y thro t w s too *&ll o* w ter to c tch bre th nd the roc$s were h&rting "y b c$. So"ehow 8 st yed in one pl ce, tho&gh the w ves still he ved ro&nd "e. 8 co&ldnFt see nything b&t w ter everywhere, re ching *or "y * ce. LBre theML voice, wild with nxiety, ordered, nd 8 *elt cr&el st b o* p in wher 8 recogniIed the voice3bec &se it w snFt 0dw rdFs. 8 co&ld not obey. The w ter* ll po&ring *ro" "y "o&th didnFt stop long eno&gh *or "e to c tch bre th. The bl c$, icy w ter *illed "y chest, b&rning. The roc$ s" c$ed into "y b c$ g in, right between "y sho&lder bl des, nd nother volley o* w ter cho$ed its w y o&t o* "y l&ngs. LBre the, Bell M !F"onML 7 cob begged. Bl c$ spots bloo"ed cross "y vision, getting wider nd wider, bloc$ing o&t the light. The roc$ str&c$ "e g in. The roc$ w snFt cold li$e the w terG it w s hot on "y s$in. 8 re liIed it w s 7 cobFs h nd, trying to be t the w ter *ro" "y l&ngs. The iron b r th t h d dr gged "e *ro" the se w s lsoN w r"N My he d whirled, the bl c$ spots covered everythingN
- s 8 dying g in, thenK 8 didnFt li$e it3this w snFt s good s the l st ti"e. 8t w s only d r$ now, nothing worth loo$ing t here. The so&nd o* the cr shing w ves * ded into the bl c$ nd bec "e H&iet, even hoosh th t so&nded li$e it w s co"ing *ro" the inside o* "y e rsN LBell KL 7 cob s$ed, his voice still tense, b&t not s wild s be*ore. LBells, honey, c n yo& he r "eKL The contents o* "y he d swished nd rolled sic$eningly, li$e theyFd Joined the ro&gh w terN L#ow long h s she been &nconscio&sKL so"eone else s$ed. The voice th t w s not 7 cobFs shoc$ed "e, J rred "e into "ore *oc&sed w reness. 8 re liIed th t 8 w s still. There w s no t&g o* the c&rrent on "e3the he ving w s inside "y he d. The s&r* ce &nder "e w s *l t nd "otionless. 8t *elt gr iny g inst "y b re r"s. L8 donFt $now,L 7 cob reported, still *r ntic. #is voice w s very close. # nds3so w r" they h d to be his3br&shed wet h ir *ro" "y chee$s. LA *ew "in&tesK 8t didnFt t $e long to tow her to the be ch.L The H&iet hooshing inside "y e rs w s not the w ves3it w s the ir "oving in nd o&t o* "y l&ngs g in. 0 ch bre th b&rned3the p ss gew ys were s r w s i* 8Fd scr&bbed the" o&t with steel wool. B&t 8 w s bre thing. And 8 w s *reeIing. A tho&s nd sh rp, icy be ds were stri$ing "y * ce nd r"s, " $ing the cold worse. LSheFs bre thing. SheFll co"e ro&nd. -e sho&ld get her o&t o* the cold, tho&gh. 8 donFt li$e the color sheFs t&rningNL 8 recogniIed S "Fs voice this ti"e. L+o& thin$ itFs o$ y to "ove herKL LShe didnFt h&rt her b c$ or nything when she *ellKL L8 donFt $now.L They hesit ted. 8 tried to open "y eyes. 8t too$ "e "in&te, b&t then 8 co&ld see the d r$, p&rple clo&ds, *linging the *reeIing r in down t "e. L7 $eKL 8 cro $ed. 7 cobFs * ce bloc$ed o&t the s$y. LEhML he g sped, relie* w shing over his *e t&res. #is eyes were wet *ro" the r in. LEh, Bell M Are yo& o$ yK ! n yo& he r "eK Do yo& h&rt nywhereKL L767&st "6"y thro t,L 8 st&ttered, "y lips H&ivering *ro" the cold. LLetFs get yo& o&t o* here, then,L 7 cob s id. #e slid his r"s &nder "e nd li*ted "e witho&t e**ort3li$e pic$ing &p n e"pty box. #is chest w s b re nd w r"G he h&nched his sho&lders to $eep the r in o** o* "e. My he d lolled over his r". 8 st red v c ntly b c$ tow rd the *&rio&s w ter, be ting the s nd behind hi". L+o& got herKL 8 he rd S " s$.
L+e h, 8Fll t $e it *ro" here. %et b c$ to the hospit l. 8Fll Join yo& l ter. Th n$s, S ".L My he d w s still rolling. None o* his words s&n$ in t *irst. S " didnFt nswer. There w s no so&nd, nd 8 wondered i* he were lre dy gone. The w ter lic$ed nd writhed &p the s nd *ter &s s 7 cob c rried "e w y, li$e it w s ngry th t 8Fd esc ped. As 8 st red we rily, sp r$ o* color c &ght "y &n*oc&sed eyes3 s" ll *l sh o* *ire w s d ncing on the bl c$ w ter, * r o&t in the b y. The i" ge " de no sense, nd 8 wondered how conscio&s 8 re lly w s. My he d swirled with the "e"ory o* the bl c$, ch&rning w ter3o* being so lost th t 8 co&ldnFt *ind &p or down. So lostN b&t so"ehow 7 cobN L#ow did yo& *ind "eKL 8 r sped. L8 w s se rching *or yo&,L he told "e. #e w s h l*6Jogging thro&gh the r in, &p the be ch tow rd the ro d. L8 *ollowed the tire tr c$s to yo&r tr&c$, nd then 8 he rd yo& scre "NL #e sh&ddered. L-hy wo&ld yo& J&"p, Bell K DidnFt yo& notice th t itFs t&rning into h&rric ne o&t hereK !o&ldnFt yo& h ve w ited *or "eKL Anger *illed his tone s the relie* * ded. LSorry,L 8 "&ttered. L8t w s st&pid.L L+e h, it w s really st&pid,L he greed, drops o* r in sh $ing *ree o* his h ir s he nodded. LLoo$, do yo& "ind s ving the st&pid st&** *or when 8F" ro&ndK 8 wonFt be ble to concentr te i* 8 thin$ yo&Fre J&"ping o** cli**s behind "y b c$.L LS&re,L 8 greed. LNo proble".L 8 so&nded li$e ch in6s"o$er. 8 tried to cle r "y thro t3 nd then wincedG the thro t6cle ring *elt li$e st bbing $ni*e down there. L-h t h ppened tod yK Did yo&N *ind herKL 8t w s "y t&rn to sh&dder, tho&gh 8 w snFt so cold here, right next to his ridic&lo&s body he t. 7 cob shoo$ his he d. #e w s still "ore r&nning th n w l$ing s he he ded &p the ro d to his ho&se. LNo. She too$ o** into the w ter3the bloods&c$ers h ve the dv nt ge there. Th tFs why 8 r ced ho"e38 w s *r id she w s going to do&ble b c$ swi""ing. +o& spend so "&ch ti"e on the be chNL #e tr iled o**, c tch in his thro t. LS " c "e b c$ with yo&N is everyone else ho"e, tooKL 8 hoped they werenFt still o&t se rching *or her. L+e h. Sort o*.L 8 tried to re d his expression, sH&inting into the h ""ering r in. #is eyes were tight with worry or p in. The words th t h dnFt " de sense be*ore s&ddenly did. L+o& s idN hospit l. Be*ore, to S ". 8s so"eone h&rtK Did she *ight yo&KL My voice J&"ped &p n oct ve, so&nding str nge with the ho rseness. LNo, no. -hen we got b c$, 0" w s w iting with the news. 8tFs # rry !le rw ter. # rry h d he rt tt c$ this "orning.L L# rryKL 8 shoo$ "y he d, trying to bsorb wh t he w s st ying. LEh, noM Does !h rlie $nowKL L+e h. #eFs over there, too, with "y d d.L
L8s # rry going to be o$ yKL 7 cobFs eyes tightened g in. L8t doesnFt loo$ so gre t right now.L Abr&ptly, 8 *elt re lly sic$ with g&ilt3*elt tr&ly horrible bo&t the br inless cli** dive. Nobody needed to be worrying bo&t "e right now. -h t st&pid ti"e to be rec$less. L-h t c n 8 doKL 8 s$ed. At th t "o"ent the r in stopped. 8 h dnFt re liIed we were lre dy b c$ to 7 cobFs ho&se &ntil he w l$ed thro&gh the door. The stor" po&nded g inst the roo*. L+o& c n st y here,L 7 cob s id s he d&"ped "e on the short co&ch. L8 "e n it3right here 8Fll get yo& so"e dry clothes.L 8 let "y eyes dJ&st to the d r$ roo" while 7 cob b nged ro&nd in his bedroo". The cr "ped *ront roo" see"ed so e"pty witho&t Billy, l"ost desol te. 8t w s str ngely o"ino&s3prob bly J&st bec &se 8 $new where he w s. 7 cob w s b c$ in seconds. #e threw pile o* gr y cotton t "e. LThese will be h&ge on yo&, b&t itFs the best 8Fve got. 8Fll, er, step o&tside so yo& c n ch nge.L LDonFt go nywhere. 8F" too tired to "ove yet. 7&st st y with "e.L 7 cob s t on the *loor next to "e, his b c$ g inst the co&ch. 8 wondered when heFd slept l st. #e loo$ed s exh &sted s 8 *elt. #e le ned his he d on the c&shion next to "ine nd y wned. L%&ess 8 co&ld rest *or "in&teNL #is eyes closed. 8 let "ine slide sh&t, too. ?oor # rry. ?oor S&e. 8 $new !h rlie w s going to be beside hi"sel*. # rry w s one o* his best *riends. Despite 7 $eFs neg tive t $e on things, 8 hoped *ervently th t # rry wo&ld p&ll thro&gh. /or !h rlieFs s $e. /or S&eFs nd Le hFs nd SethFsN BillyFs so* w s right next to the r di tor, nd 8 w s w r" now, despite "y so $ed clothes. My l&ngs ched in w y th t p&shed "e tow rd &nconscio&sness r ther th n $eeping "e w $e. 8 wondered v g&ely i* it w s wrong to sleepN or w s 8 getting drowning "ixed &p with conc&ssionsN K 7 cob beg n so*tly snoring, nd the so&nd o* it soothed li$e l&ll by. 8 *ell sleep H&ic$ly. /or the *irst ti"e in very long ti"e, "y dre " w s J&st nor" l dre ". 7&st bl&rred w ndering thro&gh old "e"ories3blinding bright visions o* the ?hoenix s&n, "y "otherFs * ce, r "sh c$le tree ho&se, * ded H&ilt, w ll o* "irrors, *l "e on the bl c$ w terN 8 *orgot e ch o* the" s soon s the pict&re ch nged. The l st pict&re w s the only one th t st&c$ in "y he d. 8t w s "e ningless3J&st set on st ge. A b lcony t night, p inted "oon h nging in the s$y. 8 w tched the girl in her nightdress le n on the r iling nd t l$ to hersel*. Me ninglessN b&t when 8 slowly str&ggled b c$ to conscio&sness, 7&liet w s on "y "ind.
7 cob w s still sleepG heFd sl&"ped down to the *loor nd his bre thing w s deep nd even. The ho&se w s d r$er now th n be*ore, it w s bl c$ o&tside the window. 8 w s sti**, b&t w r" nd l"ost dry. The inside o* "y thro t b&rned with every bre th 8 too$. 8 w s going to h ve to get &p3 t le st to get drin$. B&t "y body J&st w nted tc he here li"p, to never "ove g in. 8nste d o* "oving, 8 tho&ght bo&t 7&liet so"e "ore. 8 wondered wh t she wo&ld h ve done i* Bo"eo h d le*t her, not bec &se he w s b nished, b&t bec &se he lost interests -h t i* Bos lind h d given hi" the ti"e o* d y, nd heFd ch nged his "indK -h t i*, inste d o* " rrying 7&liet, heFd J&st dis ppe redK 8 tho&ght 8 $new how 7&liet wo&ld *eel. She wo&ldnFt go b c$ to her old li*e, not re lly. She wo&ldnFt ever h ve "oved on, 8 w s s&re o* th t. 0ven i* sheFd lived &ntil she w s old nd gr y, every ti"e she closed her eyes, it wo&ld h ve been Bo"eoFs * ce she s w behind her lids. She wo&ld h ve ccepted th t, event& lly. 8 wondered i* she wo&ld h ve " rried ? ris in the end, J&st to ple se her p rents, to $eep the pe ce. No, prob bly not, 8 decided. B&t then, the story didnFt s y "&ch bo&t ? ris. #e w s J&st stic$ *ig&re3 pl ceholder, thre t, de dline to *orce her h nd. -h t i* there were "ore to ? risK -h t i* ? ris h d been 7&lietFs *riendK #er very best *riendK -h t i* he w s the only one she co&ld con*ide in bo&t the whole dev st ting thing with Bo"eoK The one person who re lly &nderstood her nd " de her *eel h l*w y h&" n g inK -h t i* he w s p tient nd $indK -h t i* he too$ c re o* herK -h t i* 7&liet $new she co&ldnFt s&rvive witho&t hi"K -h t i* he re lly loved her, nd w nted her to be h ppyK AndN wh t i* she loved ? risK Not li$e Bo"eo. Nothing li$e th t, o* co&rse. B&t eno&gh th t she w nted hi" to be h ppy, tooK 7 cobFs slow, deep bre thing w s the only so&nd in the roo"3li$e l&ll by h&""ed to child, li$e the whisper o* roc$ing ch ir, li$e the tic$ing o* n old cloc$ when yo& h d nowhere yo& needed to goN8t w s the so&nd o* co"*ort. 8* Bo"eo w s re lly gone, never co"ing b c$, wo&ld it h ve " ttered whether or not 7&liet h d t $en ? ris &p on his o**erK M ybe she sho&ld h ve tried to settle into the le*tover scr ps o* li*e th t were le*t behind. M ybe th t wo&ld h ve been s close to h ppiness s she co&ld get. 8 sighed, nd then gro ned when the sigh scr ped "y thro t. 8 w s re ding too "&ch into the story. Bo"eo wo&ldnFt ch nge his "ind. Th tFs why people still re"e"bered his n "e, lw ys twined with hersO Bo"eo nd 7&liet. Th tFs why it w s good story. L7&liet gets d&"ped nd ends &p with ? risL wo&ld h ve never been hit. 8 closed "y eyes nd dri*ted g in, letting "y "ind w nder w y *ro" the st&pid pl y 8 didnFt w nt to thin$ bo&t ny"ore. 8 tho&ght bo&t re lity inste d3 bo&t J&"ping o** the cli** nd wh t br inless "ist $e th t h d been. And not J&st the cli**, b&t the "otorcycles nd the whole irresponsible 0vel Cnievel bit. -h t i* so"ething b d h ppened to "eK -h t wo&ld th t do to !h rlieK # rryFs he rt tt c$ h d p&shed everything s&ddenly into perspective *or "e.
?erspective th t 8 didnFt w nt to see, bec &se3i* 8 d"itted to the tr&th o* it3it wo&ld "e n th t 8 wo&ld h ve to ch nge "y w ys. !o&ld 8 live li$e th tK M ybe. 8t wo&ldnFt be e syG in * ct, it wo&ld be downright "iser ble to give &p "y h ll&cin tions nd try to be grown6&p. B&t " ybe 8 sho&ld do it. And " ybe 8 co&ld. 8* 8 h d 7 cob. 8 co&ldnFt " $e th t decision right now. 8t h&rt too "&ch. 8Fd thin$ bo&t so"ething else. 8" ges *ro" "y ill6considered *ternoon st&nt rolled thro&gh "y he d while 8 tried to co"e &p with so"ething ple s nt to thin$ bo&tN the *eel o* the ir s 8 *ell, the bl c$ness o* the w ter, the thr shing o* the c&rrentN 0dw rdFs * ceN 8 lingered there *or long ti"e. 7 cobFs w r" h nds, trying to be t li*e b c$ into "eN the stinging r in *l&ng down by the p&rple clo&dsN the str nge *ire on the w vesN There w s so"ething * "ili r bo&t th t *l sh o* color on top o* the w ter. E* co&rse it co&ldnFt re lly be *ire3 My tho&ghts were interr&pted by the so&nd o* c r sH&elching thro&gh the "&d on the ro d o&tside. 8 he rd it stop in *ront o* the ho&se, nd doors st rted opening nd closing. 8 tho&ght bo&t sitting &p, nd then decided g inst th t ide . BillyFs voice w s e sily identi*i ble, b&t he $ept it &nch r cteristic lly low, so th t it w s only gr velly gr&"ble. The door opened, nd the light *lic$ed on. 8 blin$ed, "o"ent rily blind. 7 $e st rtled w $e, g sping nd J&"ping to his *eet. LSorry,L Billy gr&nted. LDid we w $e yo&KL My eyes slowly *oc&sed on his * ce, nd then, s 8 co&ld re d his expression, they *illed with te rs. LEh, no, BillyML 8 "o ned. #e nodded slowly, his expression h rd with grie*. 7 $e h&rried to his * ther nd too$ one o* his h nds. The p in " de his * ce s&ddenly childli$e3it loo$ed odd on top o* the " nFs body. S " w s right behind Billy, p&shing his ch ir thro&gh the door. #is nor" l co"pos&re w s bsent *ro" his goniIed * ce. L8F" so sorry,L 8 whispered. Billy nodded. L8tFs gonn be h rd ll ro&nd.L L-hereFs !h rlieKL L+o&r d d is still t the hospit l with S&e. There re lot o*N rr nge"ents to be " de.L 8 sw llowed h rd. L8Fd better get b c$ there,L S " "&"bled, nd he d&c$ed h stily o&t the door.
Billy p&lled his h nd w y *ro" 7 cob, nd then he rolled hi"sel* thro&gh the $itchen tow rd his roo". 7 $e st red *ter hi" *or "in&te, then c "e to sit on the *loor beside "e g in. #e p&t his * ce in his h nds. 8 r&bbed his sho&lder, wishing 8 co&ld thin$ o* nything to s y. A*ter long "o"ent, 7 cob c &ght "y h nd nd held it to his * ce. L#ow re yo& *eelingK Are yo& o$ yK 8 prob bly sho&ld h ve t $en yo& to doctor or so"ething.L #e sighed. LDonFt worry bo&t "e,L 8 cro $ed. #e twisted his he d to loo$ t "e. #is eyes were ri""ed in red. L+o& donFt loo$ so good.L L8 donFt *eel so good, either, 8 g&ess.L L8Fll go get yo&r tr&c$ nd then t $e yo& ho"e3yo& prob bly o&ght to be there when !h rlie gets b c$.L LBight.L 8 l y listlessly on the so* while 8 w ited *or hi". Billy w s silent in the other roo". 8 *elt li$e peeping torn, peering thro&gh the cr c$s t priv te sorrow th t w snFt "ine. 8t didnFt t $e 7 $e long. The ro r o* "y tr&c$Fs engine bro$e the silence be*ore 8 expected it. #e helped "e &p *ro" the co&ch witho&t spe $ing, $eeping his r" ro&nd "y sho&lder when the cold ir o&tside " de "e shiver. #e too$ the driverFs se t witho&t s$ing, nd then p&lled "e next to his side to $eep his r" tight ro&nd "e. 8 le ned "y he d g inst his chest. L#ow will yo& get ho"eKL 8 s$ed. L8F" not going ho"e. -e still h venFt c &ght the bloods&c$er, re"e"berKL My next sh&dder h d nothing to do with cold. 8t w s H&iet ride *ter th t. The cold ir h d wo$en "e &p. My "ind w s lert, nd it w s wor$ing very h rd nd very * st. -h t i*K -h t w s the right thing to doK 8 co&ldnFt i" gine "y li*e witho&t 7 cob now38 cringed w y *ro" the ide o* even trying to i" gine th t. So"ehow, heFd beco"e essenti l to "y s&rviv l. B&t to le ve things the w y they wereN w s th t cr&el, s Mi$e h d cc&sedK 8 re"e"bered wishing th t 7 cob were "y brother. 8 re liIed now th t ll 8 re lly w nted w s cl i" on hi". 8t didnFt *eel brotherly when he held "e li$e this. 8t J&st *elt nice3w r" nd co"*orting nd * "ili r. S *e. 7 cob w s s *e h rbor. 8 co&ld st $e cl i". 8 h d th t "&ch within "y power.
8Fd h ve to tell hi" everything, 8 $new th t. 8t w s the only w y to be * ir. 8Fd h ve to expl in it right, so th t heFd $now 8 w snFt settling, th t he w s "&ch too good *or "e. #e lre dy $new 8 w s bro$en, th t p rt wo&ldnFt s&rprise hi", b&t heFd need to $now the extent o* it. 8Fd even h ve to d"it th t 8 w s cr Iy3expl in bo&t the voices 8 he rd. #eFd need to $now everything be*ore he " de decision. B&t, even s 8 recogniIed th t necessity, 8 $new he wo&ld t $e "e in spite o* it ll. #e wo&ldnFt even p &se to thin$ it thro&gh. 8 wo&ld h ve to co""it to this3co""it s "&ch o* "e s there w s le*t, every one o* the bro$en pieces. 8t w s the only w y to be * ir to hi". -o&ld 8K !o&ld 8K -o&ld it be so wrong to try to " $e 7 cob h ppyK 0ven i* the love 8 *elt *or hi" w s no "ore th n we $ echo o* wh t 8 w s c p ble o*, even i* "y he rt w s * r w y, w ndering nd grieving *ter "y *ic$le Bo"eo, wo&ld it be so very wrongK 7 cob stopped the tr&c$ in *ront o* "y d r$ ho&se, c&tting the engine so it w s s&ddenly silent. Li$e so " ny other ti"es, he see"ed to be in t&ne with "y tho&ghts now. #e threw his other r" ro&nd "e, cr&shing "e g inst his che t, binding "e to hi". Ag in, this *elt nice. Al"ost li$e being whole person g in. 8 tho&ght he wo&ld be thin$ing o* # rry, b&t then he spo$e, nd his tone w s pologetic. LSorry. 8 $now yo& donFt *eel ex ctly the w y 8 do, Bell . 8 swe r 8 donFt "ind. 8F" J&st so gl d yo&Fre o$ y th t 8 co&ld sing3 nd th tFs so"ething no one w nts to he r.L #e l &ghed his thro ty l &gh in "y e r. My bre thing $ic$ed &p notch, s nding the w lls o* "y thro t. -o&ldnFt 0dw rd, indi**erent s he "ight be, w nt "e to be s h ppy s possible &nder the circ&"st ncesK -o&ldnFt eno&gh *riendly e"otion linger *or hi" to w nt th t "&ch *or "eK 8 tho&ght he wo&ld. #e wo&ldnFt begr&dge "e thisO giving J&st s" ll bit o* love he didnFt w nt to "y *riend 7 cob. A*ter ll, it w snFt the s "e love t ll. 7 $e pressed his w r" chee$ g inst the top o* "y h ir. 8* 8 t&rned "y * ce to the side3i* 8 pressed "y lips g inst his b re sho&lder... 8 $new witho&t ny do&bt wh t wo&ld *ollow. 8t wo&ld be very e sy. There wo&ld be no need *or expl n tions tonight. B&t co&ld 8 do itK !o&ld 8 betr y "y bsent he rt to s ve "y p thetic li*eK B&tter*lies ss &lted "y sto" ch s 8 tho&ght o* t&rning "y he d. And then, s cle rly s i* 8 were in i""edi te d nger, 0dw rdFs velvet voice whispered in "y e r. LBe h ppy,L he told "e. 8 *roIe. 7 cob *elt "e sti**en nd rele sed "e &to" tic lly, re ching *or the door.
!ait, 8 w nted to s y. (ust a minute. B&t 8 w s still loc$ed in pl ce, listening to the echo o* 0dw rdFs voice in "y he d. Stor"6cooled ir blew thro&gh the c b o* the tr&c$. LE#ML The bre th whooshed o&t o* 7 cob li$e so"eone h d p&nched hi" in the g&t. L#oly crapML #e sl ""ed the door nd twisted the $eys in the ignition t the s "e "o"ent. #is h nds were sh $ing so h rd 8 didnFt $now how he " n ged it. L-h tFs wrongKL #e revved the engine too * stG it sp&ttered nd * ltered. L, "pire,L he spit o&t. The blood r&shed *ro" "y he d nd le*t "e diIIy. L#ow do yo& $nowKL LBec &se 8 c n s"ell it. D ""itML 7 cobFs eyes were wild, r $ing the d r$ street. #e b rely see"ed w re o* the tre"ors th t were rolling thro&gh his body. L?h se or get her o&t o* hereKL he hissed t hi"sel*. #e loo$ed down t "e *or split second, t $ing in "y horror6str&c$ eyes nd white * ce, nd then he w s sc nning the street g in. LBight. %et yo& o&t.L The engine c &ght with ro r. The tires sH&e led s he sp&n the tr&c$ ro&nd, t&rning tow rd o&r only esc pe. The he dlights w shed cross the p ve"ent, lit the *ront line o* the bl c$ *orest, nd *in lly glinted o** c r p r$ed cross the street *ro" "y ho&se. LStopML 8 g sped. 8t w s bl c$ c r3 c r 8 $new. 8 "ight be the *&rthest thing *ro" n &tophile, b&t 8 co&ld tell yo& everything bo&t th t p rtic&l r c r. 8t w s Mercedes S<< AM%. 8 $new the horsepower nd the color o* the interior. 8 $new the *eel o* the power*&l engine p&rring thro&gh the *r "e. 8 $new the rich s"ell o* the le ther se ts nd the w y the extr 6d r$ tint " de noon loo$ li$e d&s$ thro&gh those windows. 8t w s ! rlisleFs c r. LStopML 8 cried g in, lo&der this ti"e, bec &se 7 cob w s g&nning the tr&c$ down the street. L-h tKML L8tFs not ,ictori . Stop, stopM 8 w nt to go b c$.L #e sto"ped on the br $e so h rd 8 h d to c tch "ysel* g inst the d shbo rd. L-h tKL he s$ed g in, gh st. #e st red t "e with horror in his eyes. L8tFs ! rlisleFs c rM 8tFs the !&llens. 8 $now it.L
#e w tched d wn bre $ cross "y * ce, nd violent tre"or roc$ed his *r "e. L#ey, c l" down, 7 $e. 8tFs o$ y. No d nger, seeK Bel x.L L+e h, c l",L he p nted, p&tting his he d down nd closing his eyes. -hile he concentr ted on not exploding into wol*, 8 st red o&t the b c$ window t the bl c$ c r. 8t w s J&st ! rlisle, 8 told "ysel*. DonFt expect nything "ore. M ybe 0s"eN Stop right there, 8 told "ysel*. 7&st ! rlisle. Th t w s plenty. More th n 8Fd ever hoped to h ve g in. LThereFs v "pire in yo&r ho&se,L 7 cob hissed. LAnd yo& ant to go b c$KL 8 gl nced t hi", ripping "y &nwilling eyes o** the Mercedes3terri*ied th t it wo&ld dis ppe r the second 8 loo$ed w y. LE* co&rse,L 8 s id, "y voice bl n$ with s&rprise t his H&estion. E* co&rse 8 w nted to go b c$. 7 cobFs * ce h rdened while 8 st red t hi", conge ling into the bitter " s$ th t 8Fd tho&ght w s gone *or good. 7&st be*ore he h d the " s$ in pl ce, 8 c &ght the sp s" o* betr y l th t *l shed in his eyes. #is h nds were still sh $ing. #e loo$ed ten ye rs older th n "e. #e too$ deep bre th. L+o&Fre s&re itFs not tric$KL he s$ed in slow, he vy voice. L8tFs not tric$. 8tFs ! rlisle. T $e "e b c$ML A sh&dder rippled thro&gh his wide sho&lders, b&t his eyes were *l t nd e"otionless. LNo.L L7 $e, itFs o$ y3L LNo. T $e yo&rsel* b c$, Bell .L #is voice w s sl p38 *linched s the so&nd o* it str&c$ "e. #is J w clenched nd &nclenched. LLoo$, Bell ,L he s id in the s "e h rd voice. L8 c nFt go b c$. Tre ty or no tre ty, th tFs "y ene"y in there.L L8tFs not li$e th t3L L8 h ve to tell S " right w y. This ch nges things. -e c nFt be c &ght on their territory.L L7 $e, itFs not w rML #e didnFt listen. #e p&t the tr&c$ in ne&tr l nd J&"ped o&t the door, le ving it r&nning. LBye, Bell ,L he c lled b c$ over his sho&lder. L8 re lly hope yo& donFt die.L #e sprinted into the d r$ness, sh $ing so h rd th t his sh pe see"ed bl&rredG he dis ppe red be*ore 8 co&ld open "y "o&th to c ll hi" b c$. Be"orse pinned "e g inst the se t *or one long second. -h t h d 8 J&st done to 7 cobFK B&t re"orse co&ldnFt hold "e very long.
8 slid cross the se t nd p&t the tr&c$ b c$ in drive. My h nds were sh $ing l"ost s h rd s 7 $eFs h d been, nd this too$ "in&te o* concentr tion. Then 8 c re*&lly t&rned the tr&c$ ro&nd nd drove it b c$ to "y ho&se. 8t w s very d r$ when 8 t&rned o** the he dlights. !h rlie h d le*t in s&ch h&rry th t heFd *orgotten to le ve the porch l "p on. 8 *elt p ng o* do&bt, st ring t the ho&se, deep in sh dow. -h t i* it as tric$K 8 loo$ed b c$ t the bl c$ c r, l"ost invisible in the night. No. 8 $new th t c r. Still, "y h nds were sh $ing even worse th n be*ore s 8 re ched *or the $ey bove the door. -hen 8 gr bbed the door$nob to &nloc$ it, it twisted e sily &nder "y h nd. 8 let the door * ll open. The h llw y w s bl c$. 8 w nted to c ll o&t greeting, b&t "y thro t w s too dry. 8 co&ldnFt H&ite see" to c tch "y bre th. 8 too$ step inside nd *&"bled *or the light switch. 8t w s so bl c$3li$e the bl c$ w terN -here w s th t switchK 7&st li$e the bl c$ w ter, with the or nge *l "e *lic$ering i"possibly on top o* it. /l "e th t co&ldnFt be *ire, b&t wh t thenN K My *ingers tr ced the w ll, still se rching, still sh $ing3 S&ddenly, so"ething 7 cob h d told "e this *ternoon echoed in "y he d, *in lly sin$ing inN She took off into the ater, heFd s id. The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That$s hy I raced home3I as afraid she as going to double back s imming. My h nd *roIe in its se rching, "y whole body *roIe into pl ce, s 8 re liIed why 8 recogniIed the str nge or nge color on the w ter. ,ictori Fs h ir, blowing wild in the wind, the color o* *ireN SheFd been right there. Bight there in the h rbor with "e nd 7 cob. 8* S " h dnFt been there, i* it h d been J&st the two o* &sN K 8 co&ldnFt bre the or "ove. The light *lic$ed on, tho&gh "y *roIen h nd h d still not *o&nd the switch. 8 blin$ed into the s&dden light, nd s w th t so"eone w s there, w iting *or "e.
17. VISITOR
'NNAT'BALL+ ST8LL AND -#8T0, -8T# LAB%0 BLA!C 0+0S intent on "y * ce, "y visitor w ited per*ectly "otionless in the center o* the h lt, be &ti*&l beyond i" gining. My $nees tre"bled *or second, nd 8 ne rly *ell. Then 8 h&rled "ysel* t her.
LAlice, oh, AliceML 8 cried, s 8 sl ""ed into her. 8Fd *orgotten how hard she w sG it w s li$e r&nning he dlong into w ll o* ce"ent. LBell KL There w s str nge "ingling o* relie* nd con*&sion in her voice. 8 loc$ed "y r"s ro&nd her, g sping to inh le s "&ch o* the scent o* her s$in s possible. 8t w snFt li$e nything else3not *lor l or spice, citr&s or "&s$. No per*&"e in the world co&ld co"p re. My "e"ory h dnFt done it J&stice. 8 didnFt notice when the g sping t&rned into so"ething else38 only re liIed 8 w s sobbing when Alice dr gged "e to the living roo" co&ch nd p&lled "e into her l p. 8t w s li$e c&rling &p into cool stone, b&t stone th t w s conto&red co"*ortingly to the sh pe o* "y body. She r&bbed "y b c$ in gentle rhyth", w iting *or "e to get control o* "ysel*. L8F"N sorry,L 8 bl&bbered. L8F" J&stN so h ppyN to see yo&ML L8tFs o$ y, Bell . 0verythingFs o$ y.L L+es,L 8 b wled. And, *or once, it see"ed th t w y. Alice sighed. L8Fd *orgotten how ex&ber nt yo& re,L she s id, nd her tone w s dis pproving. 8 loo$ed &p t her thro&gh "y stre "ing eyes. AliceFs nec$ w s tight, str ining w y *ro" "e, her lips pressed together *ir"ly. #er eyes were bl c$ s pitch. LEh,L 8 p&**ed, s 8 re liIed the proble". She w s thirsty. And 8 s"elled ppetiIing. 8t h d been while since 8Fd h d to thin$ bo&t th t $ind o* thing. LSorry.L L8tFs "y own * &lt. 8tFs been too long since 8 h&nted. 8 sho&ldnFt let "ysel* get so thirsty. B&t 8 w s in h&rry tod y.L The loo$ she directed t "e then w s gl re. LSpe $ing o* which, wo&ld yo& li$e to expl in to "e how yo&Fre liveKL Th t bro&ght "e &p short nd stopped the sobs. 8 re liIed wh t "&st h ve h ppened i""edi tely, nd why Alice w s here. 8 sw llowed lo&dly. L+o& s w "e * ll.L LNo,L she dis greed, her eyes n rrowing. L8 s w yo& %ump.L 8 p&rsed "y lips s 8 tried to thin$ o* n expl n tion th t wo&ldnFt so&nd n&ts. Alice shoo$ her he d. L8 told hi" this wo&ld h ppen, b&t he didnFt believe "e. FBell pro"ised,FL her voice i"it ted his so per*ectly th t 8 iroIe in shoc$ while the p in ripped thro&gh "y torso. LFDonFt be loo$ing *or her *&t&re, either,FL she contin&ed to H&ote hi". FL-eFve done eno&gh d " ge.L LB&t J&st bec &se 8F" not loo$ing, doesnFt "e n 8 donFt see, she went on. L8 w snFt $eeping t bs on yo&, 8 swe r, Bell . 8tFs J&st th t 8F" lre cy tt&ned to yo&N when 8 s w yo& J&"ping, 8 didnFt thin$, 8 J&st got on pl ne. 8 $new 8 wo&ld be too l te, b&t 8 co&ldnFt do nothing. And then 8 get here, thin$ing " ybe 8 co&ld help !h rlie so"ehow, nd yo& drive &p.L She shoo$ her he d, this ti"e in con*&sion. #er voice w s str ined. L8 s w yo& go into the w ter nd 8 w ited
nd w ited *or yo& to co"e &p, b&t yo& didnFt. -h t h ppenedK And how co&ld yo& do th t to !h rlieK Did yo& stop to thin$ wh t this wo&ld do to hi"K And "y brotherK Do yo& h ve any ide wh t 0dw rd3L 8 c&t her o** then, s soon s she s id his n "e. 8Fd let her go on, even *ter 8 re liIed the "is&nderst nding she w s &nder, J&st to he r the per*ect bell tone o* her voice. B&t it w s ti"e to interr&pt. LAlice, 8 w snFt co""itting s&icide.L She eyed "e d&bio&sly. LAre yo& s ying yo& didnFt J&"p o** cli**KL LNo, b&tNL 8 gri" ced. L8t w s *or recre tion l p&rposes only.L #er expression h rdened. L8Fd seen so"e o* 7 cobFs *riends cli** diving,L 8 insisted. L8t loo$ed li$eN *&n, nd 8 w s boredNL She w ited. L8 didnFt thin$ bo&t how the stor" wo&ld **ect the c&rrents. Act& lly, 8 didnFt thin$ bo&t the w ter "&ch t ll.L Alice didnFt b&y it. 8 co&ld see th t she still tho&ght 8 h d been trying to $ill "ysel*. 8 decided to redirect. LSo i* yo& s w "e go in, why didnFt yo& see 7 cobKL She coc$ed her he d to the side, distr cted. 8 contin&ed. L8tFs tr&e th t 8 prob bly wo&ld h ve drowned i* 7 cob h dnFt J&"ped in *ter "e. -ell, o$ y, thereFs no prob bly bo&t it. B&t he did, nd he p&lled "e o&t, nd 8 g&ess he towed "e b c$ to shore, tho&gh 8 w s $ind o* o&t *or th t p rt. 8t co&ldnFt h ve been "ore th n "in&te th t 8 w s &nder be*ore he gr bbed "e. #ow co"e yo& didnFt see th tKL She *rowned in perplexity. LSo"eone p&lled yo& o&tKL L+es. 7 cob s ved "e.L 8 w tched c&rio&sly s n enig" tic r nge o* e"otions *litted cross her * ce. So"ething w s bothering her3her i"per*ect visionK B&t 8 w snFt s&re. Then she deliber tely le ned in nd sni**ed "y sho&lder. 8 *roIe. LDonFt be ridic&lo&s,L she "&ttered, sni**ing t "e so"e "ore. L-h t re yo& doingKL She ignored "y H&estion. L-ho w s with yo& o&t there J&st nowK 8t so&nded li$e yo& were rg&ing.L
L7 cob Bl c$. #eFsN sort o* "y best *riend, 8 g&ess. At le st, he w sNL 8 tho&ght o* 7 cobFs ngry, betr yed * ce, nd wondered wh t he w s to "e now. Alice nodded, see"ing preocc&pied. L-h tKL L8 donFt $now,L she s id. L8F" not s&re wh t it "e ns.L L-ell, 8F" not de d, t le st.L She rolled her eyes. L#e w s *ool to thin$ yo& co&ld s&rvive lone. 8Fve never seen nyone so prone to li*e6thre tening idiocy.L L8 s&rvived,L 8 pointed o&t. She w s thin$ing o* so"ething else. LSo, i* the c&rrents were too "&ch *or yo&, how did this 7 cob " n geKL L7 cob isN strong.L She he rd the rel&ct nce in "y voice, nd her eyebrows rose. 8 gn wed on "y lip *or second. - s this secret, or notK And i* it w s, then who w s "y gre test llegi nce toK 7 cob, or AliceK 8t w s too h rd to $eep secrets, 8 decided. 7 cob $new everything, why not Alice, tooK LSee, well, heFsN sort o* werewol*,L 8 d"itted in r&sh. LThe A&ile&tes t&rn into wolves when there re v "pires ro&nd. They $now ! rlisle *ro" long ti"e go. -ere yo& with ! rlisle b c$ thenKL Alice g w$ed t "e *or "o"ent, nd then recovered hersel*, blin$ing r pidly. L-ell, 8 g&ess th t expl ins the s"ell,L she "&ttered. LB&t does it expl in wh t 8 didnFt seeKL She *rowned, her porcel in *orehe d cre sing. LThe s"ellKL 8 repe ted. L+o& s"ell w*&l,L she s id bsently, still *rowning. LA werewol*K Are yo& s&re bo&t th tKL L,ery s&re,L 8 pro"ised, wincing s 8 re"e"bered ? &l nd 7 cob *ighting in the ro d. L8 g&ess yo& werenFt with ! rlisle the l st ti"e there were werewolves here in /or$sKL LNo. 8 h dnFt *o&nd hi" yet.L Alice w s still lost in tho&ght. S&ddenly, her eyes widened, nd she t&rned to st re t "e with shoc$ed expression. L+o&r best *riend is werewol*KL 8 nodded sheepishly. L#ow long h s this been going onKL LNot long,L 8 s id, "y voice so&nding de*ensive. L#eFs only been werewol* *or J&st *ew wee$s.L
She glowered t "e. LA young werewol*K 0ven worseM 0dw rd w s right3yo&Fre " gnet *or d nger. -erenFt yo& s&pposed to be st ying o&t o* tro&bleKL LThereFs nothing wrong with werewolves,L 8 gr&"bled, st&ng by her critic l tone. L'ntil they lose their te"pers.L She shoo$ her he d sh rply *ro" side to side. LLe ve it to yo&, Bell . Anyone else wo&ld be better o** when the v "pires le*t town. B&t yo& h ve to st rt h nging o&t with the *irst "onsters yo& c n *ind.L 8 didnFt w nt to rg&e with Alice38 w s still tre"bling with Joy th t she w s re lly, tr&ly here, th t 8 co&ld to&ch her " rble s$in nd he r her wind6chi"e voice3b&t she h d it ll wrong. LNo, Alice, the v "pires didnFt re lly le ve3not ll o* the", nyw y. Th tFs the whole tro&ble. 8* it werenFt *or the werewolves, ,ictori wo&ld h ve gotten "e by now. -ell, i* it werenFt *or 7 $e nd his *riends, L &rent wo&ld h ve gotten "e be*ore she co&ld, 8 g&ess, so3L L,ictori KL she hissed. LL &rentKL 8 nodded, teensy bit l r"ed by the expression in her bl c$ eyes. 8 pointed t "y chest. LD nger " gnet, re"e"berKL She shoo$ her he d g in. LTell "e everything3st rt t the beginning.L 8 glossed over the beginning, s$ipping the "otorcycles nd the voices, b&t telling her everything else right &p to tod yFs "is dvent&re. Alice didnFt li$e "y thin expl n tion bo&t boredo" nd the cli**s, so 8 h&rried on to the str nge *l "e 8Fd seen on the w ter nd wh t 8 tho&ght it "e nt. #er eyes n rrowed l"ost to slits t th t p rt. 8t w s str nge to see her loo$ soN so d ngero&s3 li$e v "pire. 8 sw llowed h rd nd went on with the rest bo&t # rry. She listened to "y story witho&t interr&pting. Ecc sion lly, she wo&ld sh $e her he d, nd the cre se in her *orehe d deepened &ntil it loo$ed li$e it w s c rved per" nently into the " rble o* her s$in. She didnFt spe $ nd, *in lly, 8 *ell H&iet, str&c$ g in by the borrowed grie* t # rryFs p ssing. 8 tho&ght o* !h rlieG he wo&ld be ho"e soon. -h t condition wo&ld he be inK LE&r le ving didnFt do yo& ny good t ll, did itKL Alice "&r"&red. 8 l &ghed once3it w s slightly hysteric l so&nd. LTh t w s never the point, tho&gh, w s itK 8tFs not li$e yo& le*t *or "y bene*it.L Alice scowled t the *loor *or "o"ent. L-ellN 8 g&ess 8 cted i"p&lsively tod y. 8 prob bly sho&ldnFt h ve intr&ded.L 8 co&ld *eel the blood dr ining *ro" "y * ce. My sto" ch dropped. LDonFt go, Alice,L 8 whispered. My *ingers loc$ed ro&nd the coll r o* her white shirt nd 8 beg n to hyperventil te. L?le se donFt le ve "e.L #er eyes opened wider. LAll right,L she s id, en&nci ting e ch word with slow precision. L8F" not going nywhere tonight. T $e deep bre th.L 8 tried to obey, tho&gh 8 co&ldnFt H&ite loc te "y l&ngs.
She w tched "y * ce while 8 concentr ted on "y bre thing. She w ited till 8 w s c l"er to co""ent. L+o& loo$ li$e hell, Bell .L L8 drowned tod y,L 8 re"inded her. L8t goes deeper th n th t. +o&Fre "ess.L 8 *linched. LLoo$, 8F" doing "y best.L L-h t do yo& "e nKL L8t h snFt been e sy. 8F" wor$ing on it.L She *rowned. L8 told hi",L she s id to hersel*. LAlice,L 8 sighed. L-h t did yo& thin$ yo& were going to *indK 8 "e n, besides "e de dK Did yo& expect to *ind "e s$ipping ro&nd nd whistling show t&nesK +o& $now "e better th n th t.L L8 do. B&t 8 hoped.L LThen 8 g&ess 8 donFt h ve the corner on the idiocy " r$et.L The phone r ng. LTh t h s to be !h rlie,L 8 s id, st ggering to "y *eet. 8 gr bbed AliceFs stone h nd nd dr gged her with "e to the $itchen. 8 w snFt bo&t to let her o&t o* "y sight. L!h rlieKL 8 nswered the phone. LNo, itFs "e,L 7 cob s id. L7 $eML Alice scr&tiniIed "y expression. L7&st " $ing s&re yo& were still live,L 7 cob s id so&rly. L8F" *ine. 8 told yo& th t it w snFt3L L+e h. 8 got it. FBye.L 7 cob h&ng &p on "e. 8 sighed nd let "y he d h ng b c$, st ring t the ceiling. LTh tFs going to be proble".L Alice sH&eeIed "y h nd. LThey renFt excited 8F" here.L LNot especi lly. B&t itFs none o* their b&siness nyw y.L
Alice p&t her r" ro&nd "e. LSo wh t do we do nowKL she "&sed. She see"ed to t l$ to hersel* *or "o"ent. LThings to do. Loose ends to tie.L L-h t things to doKL #er * ce w s s&ddenly c re*&l. L8 donFt $now *or s&reN 8 need to see ! rlisle.L -o&ld she le ve so soonK My sto" ch dropped. L!o&ld yo& st yKL 8 begged. L?le seK /or J&st little while. 8Fve "issed yo& so "&ch.L My voice bro$e. L8* yo& thin$ th tFs good ide .L #er eyes were &nh ppy. L8 do. +o& c n st y here3!h rlie wo&ld love th t.L L8 h ve ho&se, Bell .L 8 nodded, dis ppointed b&t resigned. She hesit ted, st&dying "e. L-ell, 8 need to go get s&itc se o* clothes, t the very le st.L 8 threw "y r"s ro&nd her. LAlice, yo&Fre the bestML LAnd 8 thin$ 8Fll need to h&nt. 8""edi tely,L she dded in str ined voice. LEops.L 8 too$ step b c$. L! n yo& st y o&t o* tro&ble *or one ho&rKL she s$ed s$eptic lly. Then, be*ore 8 co&ld nswer, she held &p one *inger nd closed her eyes. #er * ce went s"ooth nd bl n$ *or *ew seconds. And then her eyes opened nd she nswered her own H&estion. L+es, yo&Fll be *ine. /or tonight, nyw y.L She gri" ced. 0ven " $ing * ces, she loo$ed li$e n ngel. L+o&Fll co"e b c$KL 8 s$ed in s" ll voice. L8 pro"ise3one ho&r.L 8 gl nced t the cloc$ over the $itchen t ble. She l &ghed nd le ned in H&ic$ly to $iss "e on the chee$. Then she w s gone. 8 too$ deep bre th. Alice wo&ld be b c$. 8 s&ddenly *elt so "&ch better. 8 h d plenty to do to $eep "ysel* b&sy while 8 w ited. A shower w s de*initely *irst on the gend . 8 sni**ed "y sho&lders s 8 &ndressed, b&t 8 co&ldnFt s"ell nything b&t the brine nd se weed scent o* the oce n. 8 wondered wh t Alice h d "e nt bo&t "e s"elling b d. -hen 8 w s cle ned &p, 8 went b c$ to the $itchen. 8 co&ldnFt see ny signs th t !h rlie Fl d e ten recently, nd he wo&ld prob bly be h&ngry when he got b c$. 8 h&""ed t&nelessly to "ysel* s 8 "oved ro&nd the $itchen.
-hile Th&rsd yFs c sserole rot ted in the "icrow ve, 8 " de &p the co&ch with sheets nd n old pillow. Alice wo&ldnFt need it, b&t !h rlie wo&ld need to see it. 8 w s c re*&l not to w tch the cloc$. There w s no re son to st rt "ysel* p nic$ingG Alice h d pro"ised. 8 h&rried thro&gh "y dinner, not t sting it3J&st *eeling the che s it slid down "y r w thro t. Mostly 8 w s thirstyG 8 "&st h ve dr&n$ h l* g llon o* w ter by the ti"e 8 w s *inished. All the s lt in "y syste" h d dehydr ted "e. 8 went to go try to w tch T, while 8 w ited. Alice w s lre dy there, sitting on her i"provised bed. #er eyes were liH&id b&tterscotch. She s"iled nd p tted the pillow. LTh n$s.L L+o&Fre e rly,L 8 s id, el ted. 8 s t down next to her nd le ned "y he d on her sho&lder. She p&t her cold r"s ro&nd "e nd sighed. LBell . -h t are we going to do with yo&KL L8 donFt $now,L 8 d"itted. L8 re lly h ve been trying "y h rdest.L L8 believe yo&.L 8t w s silent. LDoes3does heNL 8 too$ deep bre th. 8t w s h rder to s y his n "e o&t lo&d, even tho&gh 8 w s ble to thin$ it now. LDoes 0dw rd $now yo&Fre hereKL 8 co&ldnFt help s$ing. 8t w s "y p in, *ter ll. 8Fd de l with it when she w s gone, 8 pro"ised "ysel*, nd *elt sic$ t the tho&ght. LNo.L There w s only one w y th t co&ld be tr&e. L#eFs not with ! rlisle nd 0s"eKL L#e chec$s in every *ew "onths.L LEh.L #e "&st still be o&t enJoying his distr ctions. 8 *oc&sed "y c&riosity on s *er topic. L+o& s id yo& *lew hereN -here did yo& co"e *ro"KL L8 w s in Den li. ,isiting T ny Fs * "ily.L L8s 7 sper hereK Did he co"e with yo&rFL She shoo$ her he d. L#e didnFt pprove o* "y inter*ering. -e pro"isedNL she tr iled o**, nd then her tone ch nged. LAnd yo& thin$ !h rlie wonFt "ind "y being hereKL she s$ed, so&nding worried. L!h rlie thin$s yo&Fre wonder*&l, Alice.L L-ell, weFre bo&t to *ind o&t.L
S&re eno&gh, *ew seconds l ter 8 he rd the cr&iser p&ll into the drivew y. 8 J&"ped &p nd h&rried to open the door. !h rlie tr&dged slowly &p the w l$, his eyes on the gro&nd nd his sho&lders sl&"ped. 8 w l$ed *orw rd to "eet hi"G he didnFt even see "e &ntil 8 h&gged hi" ro&nd the w ist. #e e"br ced "e b c$ *iercely. L8F" so sorry bo&t # rry, D d.L L8F" re lly going to "iss hi",L !h rlie "&"bled. L#owFs S&e doingKL LShe see"s d Ied, li$e she h snFt gr sped it yet. S "Fs st ying with herNL The vol&"e o* his voice * ded in nd o&t. LThose poor $ids. Le hFs J&st ye r older th n yo&, nd Seth is only *o&rteenNL #e shoo$ his he d. #e $ept his r"s tight ro&nd "e s he st rted tow rd the door g in. L'", D dKL 8 *ig&red 8Fd better w rn hi". L+o&Fll never g&ess whoFs here.L #e loo$ed t "e bl n$ly. #is he d swiveled ro&nd, nd he spied the Mercedes cross the street, the porch light re*lecting o** the glossy bl c$ p int. Be*ore he co&ld re ct, Alice w s in the doorw y. L#i, !h rlie,L she s id in s&bd&ed voice. L8F" sorry 8 c "e t s&ch b d ti"e.L LAlice !&llenKL he peered t the slight *ig&re in *ront o* hi" s i* he do&bted wh t his eyes were telling hi". LAlice, is th t yo&KL L8tFs "e,L she con*ir"ed. L8 w s in the neighborhood.L L8s ! rlisleNKL LNo, 8F" lone.L Both Alice nd 8 $new he w snFt re lly s$ing bo&t ! rlisle. #is r" tightened over "y sho&lder. LShe c n st y here, c nFt sheKL 8 ple ded. L8 lre dy s$ed her.L LE* co&rse,L !h rlie s id "ech nic lly. L-eFd love to h ve yo&, Alice.L LTh n$ yo&, !h rlie. 8 $now itFs horrid ti"ing.L LNo, itFs *ine, re lly. 8F" going to be re lly b&sy doing wh t 8 c n *or # rryFs * "ilyG it will be nice *or Bell to h ve so"e co"p ny.L LThereFs dinner *or yo& on the t ble, D d,L 8 told hi". LTh n$s, Bell.L #e g ve "e one "ore sH&eeIe be*ore he sh&**led tow rd the $itchen.
Alice went b c$ to the co&ch, nd 8 *ollowed her. This ti"e, she w s the one to p&ll "e g inst her sho&lder. L+o& loo$ tired.L L+e h,L 8 greed, nd shr&gged. LNe r6de th experiences do th t to "eN So, wh t does ! rlisle thin$ o* yo& being hereKL L#e doesnFt $now. #e nd 0s"e were on h&nting trip. 8Fll he r *ro" hi" in *ew d ys, when he gets b c$.L L+o& wonFt tell him, tho&ghN when he chec$s in g inKL 8 s$ed. She $new 8 didnFt "e n ! rlisle now. LNo. #eFd bite "y he d o**,L Alice s id gri"ly. 8 l &ghed once, nd then sighed. 8 didnFt w nt to sleep. 8 w nted to st y &p ll night t l$ing to Alice. And it didnFt " $e sense *or "e to be tired, wh t with cr shing on 7 cobFs co&ch ll d y. B&t drowning re lly had t $en lot o&t o* "e, nd "y eyes wo&ldnFt st y open. 8 rested "y he d on her stone sho&lder, nd dri*ted into "ore pe ce*&l oblivion th n 8 h d ny hope o*. 8 wo$e e rly, *ro" deep nd dre "less sleep, *eeling well6rested, b&t sti**. 8 w s on the co&ch t&c$ed &nder the bl n$ets 8Fd l id o&t *or Alice, nd 8 co&ld he r her nd !h rlie t l$ing in the $itchen. 8t so&nded li$e !h rlie w s *ixing her bre $* st. L#ow b d w s it, !h rlieKL Alice s$ed so*tly, nd t *irst 8 tho&ght they were t l$ing bo&t the !le rw ters. !h rlie sighed. LBe l b d.L LTell "e bo&t it. 8 w nt to $now ex ctly wh t h ppened when we le*t.L There w s p &se while c&pbo rd door w s closed nd di l on the stove w s clic$ed o**. 8 w ited, cringing. L8Fve never *elt so helpless,L !h rlie beg n slowly. L8 didnFt $now wh t to do. Th t *irst wee$38 tho&ght 8 w s going to h ve to hospit liIe her. She wo&ldnFt e t or drin$, she wo&ldnFt "ove. Dr. %er ndy w s throwing ro&nd words li$e Fc t tonic,F b&t 8 didnFt let hi" &p to see her. 8 w s *r id it wo&ld sc re her.L LShe sn pped o&t o* it tho&ghKL L8 h d Benee co"e to t $e her to /lorid . 8 J&st didnFt w nt to be the oneN i* she h d to go to hospit l or so"ething. 8 hoped being with her "other wo&ld help. B&t when we st rted p c$ing her clothes, she wo$e &p with venge nce. 8Fve never seen Bell throw *it li$e th t. She w s never one *or the t ntr&"s, b&t, boy, did she *ly into *&ry. She threw her clothes everywhere nd scre "ed th t we co&ldnFt " $e her le ve3 nd then she *in lly st rted crying. 8 tho&ght th t wo&ld be the t&rning point. 8 didnFt rg&e when she insisted on st ying hereN nd she did see" to get better t *irstNL
!h rlie tr iled o**. 8t w s h rd listening to this, $nowing how "&ch p in 8Fd c &sed hi". LB&tKL Alice pro"pted. LShe went b c$ to school nd wor$, she te nd slept nd did her ho"ewor$. She nswered when so"eone s$ed her direct H&estion. B&t she w sN e"pty. #er eyes were bl n$. There were lots o* little things3she wo&ldnFt listen to "&sic ny"oreG 8 *o&nd b&nch o* !Ds bro$en in the tr sh. She didnFt re dG she wo&ldnFt be in the s "e roo" when the T, w s on, not th t she w tched it so "&ch be*ore. 8 *in lly *ig&red it o&t3she w s voiding everything th t "ight re"ind her o*N hi". L-e co&ld h rdly t l$G 8 w s so worried bo&t s ying so"ething th t wo&ld &pset her3the littlest things wo&ld " $e her *linch3 nd she never vol&nteered nything. She wo&ld J&st nswer i* 8 s$ed her so"ething. LShe w s lone ll the ti"e. She didnFt c ll her *riends b c$, nd *ter while, they stopped c lling. L8t w s night o* the living de d ro&nd here. 8 still he r her scre "ing in her sleepNL 8 co&ld l"ost see hi" sh&ddering. 8 sh&ddered, too, re"e"bering. And then 8 sighed. 8 h dnFt *ooled hi" t ll, not *or one second. L8F" so sorry, !h rlie,L Alice s id, voice gl&". L8tFs not your * &lt.L The w y he s id it " de it per*ectly cle r th t he w s holding so"eone responsible. L+o& were lw ys good *riend to her.L LShe see"s better now, tho&gh.L L+e h. 0ver since she st rted h nging o&t with 7 cob Bl c$, 8Fve noticed re l i"prove"ent. She h s so"e color in her chee$s when she co"es ho"e, so"e light in her eyes. SheFs h ppier.L #e p &sed, nd his voice w s di**erent when he spo$e g in. L#eFs ye r or so yo&nger th n her, nd 8 $now she &sed to thin$ o* hi" s *riend, b&t 8 thin$ " ybe itFs so"ething "ore now, or he ded th t direction, nyw y.L !h rlie s id this in tone th t w s l"ost belligerent. 8t w s w rning, not *or Alice, b&t *or her to p ss long. L7 $eFs old *or his ye rs,L he contin&ed, still so&nding de*ensive. L#eFs t $en c re o* his * ther physic lly the w y Bell too$ c re o* her "other e"otion lly. 8t " t&red hi". #eFs good6loo$ing $id, too3t $es *ter his "o"Fs side. #eFs good *or Bell , yo& $now,L !h rlie insisted. LThen itFs good she h s hi",L Alice greed. !h rlie sighed o&t big g&st o* ir, *olding H&ic$ly to the l c$ o* opposition. LE$ y, so 8 g&ess th tFs overst ting things. 8 donFt $nowN even with 7 cob, now nd then 8 see so"ething in her eyes, nd 8 wonder i* 8Fve ever gr sped how "&ch p in sheFs re lly in 8tFs not nor" l, Alice, nd itN it *rightens "e. Not nor" l t ll. Not li$e so"eoneN le*t her, b&t li$e so"eone died.L #is voice cr c$ed. 8t as li$e so"eone h d died3li$e I h d died. Bec &se it h d been "ore th n J&st losing the tr&est o* tr&e loves, s i* th t were not eno&gh to $ill nyone. 8t w s lso losing whole *&t&re, whole * "ily3the whole li*e th t 8Fd chosenN
!h rlie went on in hopeless tone. L8 donFt $now i* sheFs going to get over it38F" not s&re i* itFs in her n t&re to he l *ro" so"ething li$e this. SheFs lw ys been s&ch const nt little thing. She doesnFt get p st things, ch nge her "ind.L LSheFs one o* $ind,L Alice greed in dry voice. LAnd AliceNL !h rlie hesit ted. LNow, yo& $now how *ond 8 " o* yo&, nd 8 c n tell th t sheFs h ppy to see yo&, b&tN 8F" little worried bo&t wh t yo&r visit will do to her.L LSo " 8, !h rlie, so " 8. 8 wo&ldnFt h ve co"e i* 8Fd h d ny ide . 8F" sorry.L LDonFt pologiIe, honey. -ho $nowsK M ybe it will be good *or her.L L8 hope yo&Fre right.L There w s long bre $ while *or$s scr ped pl tes nd !h rlie chewed. 8 wondered where Alice w s hiding the *ood. LAlice, 8 h ve to s$ yo& so"ething,L !h rlie s id w$w rdly. Alice w s c l". L%o he d.L L#eFs not co"ing b c$ to visit, too, is heKL 8 co&ld he r the s&ppressed nger in !h rlieFs voice. Alice nswered in so*t, re ss&ring tone. L#e doesnFt even $now 8F" here. The l st ti"e 8 spo$e with hi", he w s in So&th A"eric .L 8 sti**ened s 8 he rd this new in*or" tion, nd listened h rder. LTh tFs so"ething, t le st.L !h rlie snorted. L-ell, 8 hope heFs enJoying hi"sel*.L /or the *irst ti"e, AliceFs voice h d bit o* steel in it. L8 wo&ldnFt " $e ss&"ptions, !h rlie.L 8 $new how her eyes wo&ld *l sh when she &sed th t tone. A ch ir scooted *ro" the t ble, scr ping lo&dly cross the *loor. 8 pict&red !h rlie getting &pG there w s no w y Alice wo&ld " $e th t $ind o* noise. The * &cet r n, spl shing g inst dish. 8t didnFt so&nd li$e they were going to s y nything "ore bo&t 0dw rd, so 8 decided it w s ti"e to w $e &p. 8 t&rned over, bo&ncing g inst the springs to " $e the" sH&e $. Then 8 y wned lo&dly. All w s H&iet in the $itchen. 8 stretched nd gro ned. LAliceKL 8 s$ed innocentlyG the soreness r sping in "y thro t dded nicely to the ch r de. L8F" in the $itchen, Bell ,L Alice c lled, no hint in her voice th t she s&spected "y e vesdropping. B&t she w s good t hiding things li$e th t.
!h rlie h d to le ve then3he w s helping S&e !le rw ter with the *&ner l rr nge"ents. 8t wo&ld h ve been very long d y witho&t Alice. She never spo$e bo&t le ving, nd 8 didnFt s$ her. 8 $new it w s inevit ble, b&t 8 p&t it o&t o* "y "ind. 8nste d, we t l$ed bo&t her * "ily3 ll b&t one. ! rlisle w s wor$ing nights in 8th c nd te ching p rt ti"e t !ornell. 0s"e w s restoring seventeenth cent&ry ho&se, historic l "on&"ent, in the *orest north o* the city. 0""ett nd Bos lie h d gone to 0&rope *or *ew "onths on nother honey"oon, b&t they were b c$ now. 7 sper w s t !ornell, too, st&dying philosophy this ti"e. And Alice h d been doing so"e person l rese rch, concerning the in*or" tion 8Fd ccident lly &ncovered *or her l st spring. SheFd s&ccess*&lly tr c$ed down the syl&" where sheFd spent the l st ye rs o* her h&" n li*e. The li*e she h d no "e"ory o*. LMy n "e w s M ry Alice Br ndon,L she told "e H&ietly. L8 h d little sister n "ed !ynthi . #er d &ghter3"y niece3is still live in Biloxi.L LDid yo& *ind o&t why they p&t yo& inN th t pl ceKL -h t wo&ld drive p rents to th t extre"eK 0ven i* their d &ghter s w visions o* the *&t&reN She J&st shoo$ her he d, her top I eyes tho&ght*&l. L8 co&ldnFt *ind "&ch bo&t the". 8 went thro&gh ll the old newsp pers on "icro*iche. My * "ily w snFt "entioned o*tenG they werenFt p rt o* the soci l circle th t " de the p pers. My p rentsF eng ge"ent w s there, nd !ynthi Fs.L The n "e *ell &ncert inly *ro" her tong&e. LMy birth w s nno&ncedN nd "y de th. 8 *o&nd "y gr ve. 8 lso *ilched "y d"issions sheet *ro" the old syl&" rchives. The d te on the d"ission nd the d te on "y to"bstone re the s "e.L 8 didnFt $now wh t to s y, nd, *ter short p &se, Alice "oved on to lighter topics. The !&llens were re sse"bled now, with the one exception, spending !ornellFs spring bre $ in Den li with T ny nd her * "ily. 8 listened too e gerly to even the "ost trivi l news. She never "entioned the one 8 w s "ost interested in, nd *or th t 8 w s gr te*&l. 8t w s eno&gh to listen to the stories o* the * "ily 8Fd once dre "ed o* belonging to. !h rlie didnFt get b c$ &ntil *ter d r$, nd he loo$ed "ore worn th n he h d the night be*ore. #e wo&ld be he ded b c$ to the reserv tion *irst thing in the "orning *or # rryFs *&ner l, so he t&rned in e rly. 8 st yed on the co&ch with Alice g in.
!h rlie w s l"ost str nger when he c "e down the st irs be*ore the s&n w s &p, we ring n old s&it 8Fd never seen hi" in be*ore. The J c$et h&ng openG 8 g&essed it w s too tight to * sten the b&ttons. #is tie w s bit wide *or the c&rrent style. #e tiptoed to the door, trying not to w $e &s &p. 8 let hi" go, pretending to sleep, s Alice did on the recliner. As soon s he w s o&t the door, Alice s t &p. 'nder the H&ilt, she w s *&lly dressed. LSo, wh t re we doing tod yKL she s$ed. L8 donFt $now3do yo& see nything interesting h ppeningKL She s"iled nd shoo$ her he d. LB&t itFs still e rly.L
All the ti"e 8Fd been spending in L ?&sh "e nt pile o* things 8Fd been neglecting t ho"e, nd 8 decided to c tch &p on "y chores. 8 w nted to do so"ething, nything th t "ight " $e li*e e sier *or !h rlie3" ybe it wo&ld " $e hi" *eel J&st little better to co"e ho"e to cle n, org niIed ho&se. 8 st rted with the b throo"3it showed the "ost signs o* neglect. -hile 8 wor$ed, Alice le ned g inst the doorJ "b nd s$ed nonch l nt H&estions bo&t "y, well, our high school *riends nd wh t they been &p to since sheFd le*t. #er * ce st yed c s& l nd e"otionless, b&t 8 sensed her dis pprov l when she re liIed how little 8 co&ld tell her. Er " ybe 8 J&st h d g&ilty conscience *ter e vesdropping on her convers tion with !h rlie yesterd y "orning. 8 w s liter lly &p to "y elbows in !o"et, scr&bbing the *loor o* the b tht&b, when the doorbell r ng. 8 loo$ed to Alice t once, nd her expression w s perplexed, l"ost worried, which w s str ngeG Alice w s never t $en by s&rprise. L#old onML 8 sho&ted in the gener l direction o* the *ront door, getting &p nd h&rrying to the sin$ to rinse "y r"s o**. LBell ,L Alice s id with tr ce o* *r&str tion in her voice, L8 h ve * irly good g&ess who th t "ight be, nd 8 thin$ 8Fd better step o&t.L L%&essKL 8 echoed. Since when did Alice h ve to g&ess nythingK L8* this is repe t o* "y egregio&s l pse in *oresight yesterd y, then itFs "ost li$ely 7 cob Bl c$ or one o* hisN *riends.L 8 st red t her, p&tting it together. L+o& c nFt see werewolvesKL She gri" ced. LSo it wo&ld see".L She w s obvio&sly nnoyed by this * ct3very nnoyed. The doorbell r ng g in3b&IIing twice H&ic$ly nd i"p tiently. L+o& donFt h ve go nywhere, Alice. +o& were here *irst.L She l &ghed her silvery little l &gh3it h d d r$ edge. LTr&st "e3it wo&ldnFt be good ide to h ve "e nd 7 cob Bl c$ in roo" together.L She $issed "y chee$ swi*tly be*ore she v nished thro&gh !h rlieFs door3 nd o&t his b c$ window, no do&bt. The doorbell r ng g in.
1 . THE FUNERA!
8 S?B8NT0D DE-N T#0 STA8BS AND T#B0- T#0 DEEB open. 8t w s 7 cob, o* co&rse. 0ven blind, Alice w snFt slow. #e w s st nding bo&t six *eet b c$ *ro" the door, his nose wrin$led in dist ste, b&t his * ce otherwise s"ooth3" s$li$e. #e didnFt *ool "eG 8 co&ld see the * int tre"bling o* his h nds. #ostility rolled o** o* hi" in w ves. 8t bro&ght b c$ th t w*&l *ternoon when heFd chosen S " over "e, nd 8 *elt "y chin Jer$ &p de*ensively in response. 7 cobFs B bbit idled by the c&rb with 7 red behind the wheel nd 0"bry in the p ssenger se t. 8 &nderstood wh t this "e ntO they were *r id to let hi" co"e here lone. 8t " de "e s d, nd little nnoyed. The !&llens werenFt li$e th t. L#ey,L 8 *in lly s id when he didnFt spe $. 7 $e p&rsed his lips, still h nging b c$ *ro" the door. #is eyes *lic$ered cross the *ront o* the ho&se. 8 gro&nd "y teeth. LSheFs not here. Do yo& need so"ethingKL #e hesit ted. L+o&Fre loneKL L+es.L 8 sighed. L! n 8 t l$ to yo& "in&teKL L-f course yo& c n, 7 cob. !o"e on in.L 7 cob gl nced over his sho&lder t his *riends in the c r. 8 s w 0"bry sh $e his he d J&st tiny bit. /or so"e re son, this b&gged "e to no end. My teeth clenched together g in. L+hicken, 8 "&"bled &nder "y bre th. 7 $eFs eyes *l shed b c$ to "e, his thic$, bl c$ brows p&shing into *&rio&s ngle over his deep6 set eyes. #is J w set, nd he " rched3there w s no other w y to describe the w y he "oved3 &p the sidew l$ nd shr&gged p st "e into the ho&se. 8 loc$ed g Ies with *irst 7 red nd then 0"bry38 didnFt li$e the h rd w y they eyed "eG did they re lly thin$ 8 wo&ld let nything h&rt 7 cobK3be*ore 8 sh&t the door on the". 7 cob w s in the h ll behind "e, st ring t the "ess o* bl n$ets in the living roo". LSl&"ber p rtyKL he s$ed, his tone s rc stic. L+e h,L 8 nswered with the s "e level o* cid. 8 didnFt li$e 7 cob when he cted this w y. L-h tFs it to yo&KL #e wrin$led his nose g in li$e he s"elled so"ething &nple s nt. L-hereFs yo&r F*riendFKL 8 co&ld he r the H&ot tion " r$s in his tone. LShe h d so"e err nds to r&n. Loo$, 7 cob, wh t do yo& w ntKL
So"ething bo&t the roo" see"ed to " $e hi" edgier3his long r"s were H&ivering. #e didnFt nswer "y H&estion. 8nste d he "oved on to the $itchen, his restless eyes d rting everywhere. 8 *ollowed hi". #e p ced b c$ nd *orth long the short co&nter. L#ey,L 8 s id, p&tting "ysel* in his w y. #e stopped p cing nd st red down t "e. L-h tFs yo&r proble"KL L8 donFt li$e h ving to be here.L Th t st&ng. 8 winced, nd his eyes tightened. LThen 8F" sorry yo& h d to co"e,L 8 "&ttered. L-hy donFt yo& tell "e wh t yo& need so yo& c n le veKL L8 J&st h ve to s$ yo& co&ple o* H&estions. 8t sho&ldnFt t $e long. -e h ve to get b c$ *or the *&ner l.L LE$ y. %et it over with then.L 8 w s prob bly overdoing it with the nt gonis", b&t 8 didnFt w nt hi" to see how "&ch this h&rt. 8 $new 8 w snFt being * ir. A*ter ll, 8Fd pic$ed the bloodsucker over hi" l st night. 8Fd h&rt hi" *irst. #e too$ deep bre th, nd his tre"bling *ingers were s&ddenly still. #is * ce s"oothed into serene " s$. LEne o* the !&llens is st ying here with yo&,L he st ted. L+es. Alice !&llen.L #e nodded tho&ght*&lly. L#ow long is she here *orKL LAs long s she w nts to be.L The belligerence w s still there in "y tone. L8tFs n open invit tion.L LDo yo& thin$ yo& co&ldN ple seN expl in to her bo&t the other one3,ictori KL 8 p led. L8 told her bo&t th t.L #e nodded. L+o& sho&ld $now th t we c n only w tch o&r own l nds with !&llen here. +o&Fll only be s *e in L ?&sh. 8 c nFt protect yo& here ny"ore.L LE$ y,L 8 s id in s" ll voice. #e loo$ed w y then, o&t the b c$ windows. #e didnFt contin&e. L8s th t llKL #e $ept his eyes on the gl ss s he nswered. L7&st one "ore thing.L 8 w ited, b&t he didnFt contin&e. L+esKL 8 *in lly pro"pted.
LAre the rest o* the" co"ing b c$ nowKL he s$ed in cool, H&iet voice. 8t re"inded "e o* S "Fs lw ys c l" " nner. 7 cob w s beco"ing "ore li$e S "N 8 wondered why th t bothered "e so "&ch. Now I didnFt spe $. #e loo$ed b c$ t "y * ce with probing eyes. L-ellKL he s$ed. #e str&ggled to conce l the tension behind his serene expression. LNo.L 8 s id *in lly. %r&dgingly. LThey renFt co"ing b c$.L #is expression didnFt ch nge. LE$ y. Th tFs ll.L 8 gl red t hi", nnoy nce re$indled. L-ell, r&n long now. %o tell S " th t the sc ry "onsters renFt co"ing to get yo&.L LE$ y,L he repe ted, still c l". Th t see"ed to be it. 7 cob w l$ed swi*tly *ro" the $itchen. 8 w ited to he r the *ront door open, b&t 8 he rd nothing. 8 co&ld he r the cloc$ over the stove tic$ing, nd 8 " rveled g in t how H&iet heFd beco"e. -h t dis ster. #ow co&ld 8 h ve lien ted hi" so co"pletely in s&ch short "o&nt o* ti"eK -o&ld he *orgive "e when Alice w s goneK -h t i* he didnFtK 8 sl&"ped g inst the co&nter nd b&ried "y * ce in "y h nds. #ow h d 8 " de s&ch "ess o* everythingK B&t wh t co&ld 8 h ve done di**erentlyK 0ven in hindsight, 8 co&ldnFt thin$ o* ny better w y, ny per*ect co&rse o* ction. LBell N KL 7 cob s$ed in tro&bled voice. 8 p&lled "y * ce o&t o* "y h nds to see 7 cob hesit ting in the $itchen doorw yG he h dnFt le*t when 8Fd tho&ght. 8t w s only when 8 s w the cle r drops sp r$ling in "y h nds th t 8 re liIed 8 w s crying. 7 cobFs c l" expression w s goneG his * ce w s nxio&s nd &ns&re. #e w l$ed H&ic$ly b c$ to st nd in *ront o* "e, d&c$ing his he d so th t his eyes were closer to being on the s "e level with "ine. LDid it g in, didnFt 8KL LDid wh tKL 8 s$ed, "y voice cr c$ing. LBro$e "y pro"ise. Sorry.L LFSFo$ y,L 8 "&"bled. L8 st rted it this ti"e.L #is * ce twisted. L8 $new how yo& *elt bo&t the". 8t sho&ldnFt h ve t $en "e by s&rprise li$e th t.L
8 co&ld see the rev&lsion in his eyes. 8 w nted to expl in to hi" wh t Alice w s re lly li$e, to de*end her g inst the J&dg"ents heFd " de, b&t so"ething w rned "e th t now w s not the ti"e. So 8 J&st s id, LSorry,L g in. LLetFs not worry bo&t it, o$ yK SheFs J&st visiting, rightK SheFll le ve, nd things will go b c$ to nor" l.L L! nFt 8 be *riends with yo& both t the s "e ti"eKL 8 s$ed, "y voice not hiding n o&nce o* the h&rt 8 *elt. #e shoo$ his he d slowly. LNo, 8 donFt thin$ yo& c n.L 8 sni**ed nd st red t his big *eet. LB&t yo&Fll w it, rightK +o&Fll still be "y *riend, even tho&gh 8 love Alice, tooKL 8 didnFt loo$ &p, *r id to see wh t heFd thin$ o* th t l st p rt. 8t too$ hi" "in&te to nswer, so 8 w s prob bly right not to loo$. L+e h, 8Fll lw ys be yo&r *riend,L he s id gr&**ly. LNo " tter wh t yo& love.L L?ro"iseKL L?ro"ise.L 8 *elt his r"s wind ro&nd "e, nd 8 le ned g inst his chest, still sni**ling. LThis s&c$s.L L+e h.L Then he sni**ed "y h ir nd s id, L0w.L L!hatKL 8 de" nded. 8 loo$ed &p to see th t his nose w s wrin$led g in. L-hy does everyone $eep doing th t to "eK 8 donFt s"ellML #e s"iled little. L+es, yo& do3yo& s"ell li$e them. Blech. Too sweet3sic$ly sweet. AndN icy. 8t b&rns "y nose.L LBe llyKL Th t w s str nge. Alice s"elled &nbeliev bly wonder*&l. To h&" n, nyw y. LB&t why wo&ld Alice thin$ 8 s"elled, too, thenKL Th t wiped his s"ile w y. L#&h. M ybe 8 donFt s"ell so good to her, either. #&h.L L-ell, yo& both s"ell *ine to "e.L 8 rested "y he d g inst hi" g in. 8 w s going to "iss hi" terribly when he w l$ed o&t "y door. 8t w s n sty c tch6223on the one h nd, 8 w nted Alice to st y *orever. 8 w s going to die3"et phoric lly3when she le*t "e. B&t how w s 8 s&pposed to go witho&t seeing 7 $e *or ny length o* ti"eK !hat a mess, 8 tho&ght g in. L8Fll "iss yo&,L 7 cob whispered, echoing "y tho&ghts. L0very "in&te. 8 hope she le ves soon.L L8t re lly doesnFt h ve to be th t w y, 7 $e.L #e sighed. L+es, it re lly does. Bell . +o&N love her. So 8Fd better not get nywhere ne r her. 8F" not s&re th t 8F" even6te"pered eno&gh to h ndle th t. S " wo&ld be " d i* 8 bro$e the
tre ty, ndL3his voice t&rned s rc stic3Lyo& prob bly wo&ldnFt li$e it too "&ch i* 8 $illed yo&r *riend.L 8 recoiled *ro" hi" when he s id th t, b&t he only tightened his r"s, re*&sing to let "e esc pe. LThereFs no point in voiding the tr&th. Th tFs the w y things re, Bells.L L8 do not li$e the w y things re.L 7 cob *reed one r" so th t he co&ld c&p his big brown h nd &nder "y chin nd " $e "e loo$ t hi". L+e h. 8t w s e sier when we were both h&" n, w snFt itKL 8 sighed. -e st red t e ch other *or long "o"ent. #is h nd s"oldered g inst "y s$in. 8n "y * ce, 8 $new there w s nothing b&t wist*&l s dness38 didnFt w nt to h ve to s y goodbye now, no " tter *or how short ti"e. At *irst his * ce re*lected "ine, b&t then, s neither o* &s loo$ed w y, his expression ch nged. #e rele sed "e, li*ting his other h nd to br&sh his *ingertips long "y chee$, tr iling the" down to "y J w. 8 co&ld *eel his *ingers tre"ble3not with nger this ti"e. #e pressed his p l" g inst "y chee$, so th t "y * ce w s tr pped between his b&rning h nds. LBell ,L he whispered. 8 w s *roIen. NoM 8 h dnFt " de this decision yet. 8 didnFt $now i* 8 co&ld do this, nd now 8 w s o&t o* ti"e to thin$. B&t 8 wo&ld h ve been *ool i* 8 tho&ght reJecting hi" now wo&ld h ve no conseH&ences. 8 st red b c$ t hi". #e w s not my 7 cob, b&t he co&ld be. #is * ce w s * "ili r nd beloved. 8n so " ny re l w ys, 8 did love hi". #e w s "y co"*ort, "y s *e h rbor. Bight now, 8 co&ld choose to h ve hi" belong to "e. Alice w s b c$ *or the "o"ent, b&t th t ch nged nothing. Tr&e love w s *orever lost. The prince w s never co"ing b c$ to $iss "e w $e *ro" "y ench nted sleep. 8 w s not princess, *ter ll. So wh t w s the * iry6t le protocol *or other $issesK The "&nd ne $ind th t didnFt bre $ ny spellsK M ybe it wo&ld be e sy3li$e holding his h nd or h ving his r"s ro&nd "e. M ybe it wo&ld *eel nice. M ybe it wo&ldnFt *eel li$e betr y l. Besides, who w s 8 betr ying, nyw yK 7&st "ysel*. Ceeping his eyes on "ine, 7 cob beg n to bend his * ce tow rd "e. And 8 w s still bsol&tely &ndecided. The shrill ring o* the phone " de &s both J&"p, b&t it did not bre $ his *oc&s. #e too$ his h nd *ro" &nder "y chin nd re ched over "e to gr b the receiver, b&t still held "y * ce sec&rely with the h nd g inst "y chee$. #is d r$ eyes did not *ree "ine. 8 w s too "&ddled to re ct, even to t $e dv nt ge o* the distr ction. LSw n residence,L 7 cob s id, his h&s$y voice low nd intense.
So"eone nswered, nd 7 cob ltered in n inst nt. #e str ightened &p, nd his h nd dropped *ro" "y * ce. #is eyes went *l t, his * ce bl n$, nd 8 wo&ld h ve bet the "e sly re" inder o* "y college * nd th t it w s Alice. 8 recovered "ysel* nd held o&t "y h nd *or the phone. 7 cob ignored "e. L#eFs not here,L 7 cob s id, nd the words were "en cing. There w s so"e very short reply, reH&est *or "ore in*or" tion it see"ed, bec &se he dded &nwillingly, L#eFs t the *&ner l.L Then 7 cob h&ng &p the phone. L/ilthy bloods&c$er,L he "&ttered &nder his bre th. The * ce he t&rned b c$ to "e w s the bitter " s$ g in. L-ho did yo& J&st h ng &p onKL 8 g sped, in*&ri ted. L8n my ho&se, nd on my phoneKL L0 syM #e h&ng &p on "eML L#eK -ho w s itKML #e sneered the title. L&r. ! rlisle !&llen.L L-hy didnFt yo& let "e t l$ to hi"KML L#e didnFt s$ *or yo&,L 7 cob s id coldly. #is * ce w s s"ooth, expressionless, b&t his h nds shoo$. L#e s$ed where !h rlie w s nd 8 told hi". 8 donFt thin$ 8 bro$e ny r&les o* etiH&ette.L L+o& listen to "e, 7 cob Bl c$3L B&t he obvio&sly w snFt listening. #e loo$ed H&ic$ly over his sho&lder, s i* so"eone h d c lled his n "e *ro" the other roo". #is eyes went wide nd his body sti**, then he st rted tre"bling. 8 listened too, &to" tic lly, b&t he rd nothing. LBye, Bells,L he spit o&t, nd wheeled tow rd the *ront door. 8 r n *ter hi". L-h t is itKL And then 8 r n into hi", s he roc$ed b c$ on his heels, c&ssing &nder his bre th. #e sp&n ro&nd g in, $noc$ing "e sidew ys. 8 bobbled nd *ell to the *loor, "y legs t ngled with his. LShoot, owML 8 protested s he h&rriedly Jer$ed his legs *ree one t ti"e. 8 str&ggled to p&ll "ysel* &p s he d rted *or the b c$ doorG he s&ddenly *roIe g in. Alice stood "otionless t the *oot o* the st irs. LBell ,L she cho$ed. 8 scr "bled to "y *eet nd l&rched to her side. #er eyes were d Ied nd * r w y, her * ce dr wn nd whiter th n bone. #er sli" body tre"bled to n inner t&r"oil. LAlice, wh tFs wrongKL 8 cried. 8 p&t "y h nds on her * ce, trying to c l" her.
#er eyes *oc&sed on "ine br&ptly, wide with p in. L0dw rd,L w s ll she whispered. My body re cted * ster th n "y "ind w s ble to c tch &p with the i"plic tions o* her reply. 8 didnFt t *irst &nderst nd why the roo" w s spinning or where the hollow ro r in "y e rs w s co"ing *ro". My "ind l bored, &n ble to " $e sense o* AliceFs ble $ * ce nd how it co&ld possibly rel te to 0dw rd, while "y body w s lre dy sw ying, see$ing the relie* o* &nconscio&sness be*ore the re lity co&ld hit "e. The st irw y tilted t the oddest ngle. 7 cobFs *&rio&s voice w s s&ddenly in "y e r, hissing o&t stre " o* pro* nities. 8 *elt v g&e dis pprov l. #is new *riends were cle rly b d in*l&ence. 8 w s on the co&ch witho&t &nderst nding how 8 got there, nd 7 cob w s still swe ring. 8t *elt li$e there w s n e rthH& $e3the co&ch w s sh $ing &nder "e. L-h t did yo& do to herKL he de" nded. Alice ignored hi". LBell K Bell , sn p o&t o* it. -e h ve to h&rry.L LSt y b c$,L 7 cob w rned. L! l" down, 7 cob Bl c$,L Alice ordered. L+o& donFt w nt to do th t so close to her.L L8 donFt thin$ 8Fll h ve ny proble" $eeping "y *oc&s,L he retorted, b&t his voice so&nded little cooler. LAliceKL My voice w s we $. L-h t h ppenedKL 8 s$ed, even tho&gh 8 didnFt w nt to he r. L8 donFt $now,L she s&ddenly w iled. L-h t is he thin$ingKML 8 l bored to p&ll "ysel* &p despite the diIIiness. 8 re liIed it w s 7 cobFs r" 8 w s gripping *or b l nce. #e w s the one sh $ing, not the co&ch. Alice w s p&lling s" ll silver phone *ro" her b g when "y eyes reloc ted her. #er *ingers di led the n&"bers so * st they were bl&r. LBose, 8 need to t l$ to ! rlisle no .L #er voice whipped thro&gh the words. L/ine, s soon s heFs b c$. No, 8Fll be on pl ne. Loo$, h ve yo& he rd nything *ro" 0dw rdKL Alice p &sed now, listening with n expression th t grew "ore pp lled every second. #er "o&th opened into little E o* horror, nd the phone shoo$ in her h nd. L-hyKL she g sped. L!hy wo&ld yo& do th t, Bos lieKL -h tever the nswer w s, it " de her J w tighten in nger. #er eyes *l shed nd n rrowed. L-ell, yo&Fre wrong on both co&nts, tho&gh, Bos lie, so th t wo&ld be proble", donFt yo& thin$KL she s$ed cidly. L+es, th tFs right. SheFs bsol&tely *ine38 w s wrongN 8tFs long
storyN B&t yo&Fre wrong bo&t th t p rt, too, th tFs why 8F" c llingN +es, th tFs ex ctly wh t 8 s w.L AliceFs voice w s very h rd nd her lips were p&lled b c$ *ro" her teeth. L8tFs bit l te *or th t, Bose. S ve yo&r re"orse *or so"eone who believes it.L Alice sn pped the phone sh&t with sh rp twist o* her *ingers. #er eyes were tort&red s she t&rned to * ce "e. LAlice,L 8 bl&rted o&t H&ic$ly. 8 co&ldnFt let her spe $ yet. 8 needed *ew "ore seconds be*ore she spo$e nd her words destroyed wh t w s le*t o* "y li*e. LAlice, ! rlisle is b c$, tho&gh. #e c lled J&st be*oreNL She st red t "e bl n$ly. L#ow long goKL she s$ed in hollow voice. L# l* "in&te be*ore yo& showed &p.L L-h t did he s yKL She re lly *oc&sed now, w iting *or "y nswer. L8 didnFt t l$ to hi".L My eyes *lic$ered to 7 cob. Alice t&rned her penetr ting g Ie on hi". #e *linched, b&t held his pl ce next to "e. #e sit w$w rdly, l"ost s i* he were trying to shield "e with his body. L#e s$ed *or !h rlie, nd 8 told hi" !h rlie w snFt here,L 7 cob "&ttered resent*&lly. L8s th t everythingKL Alice de" nded, her voice li$e ice. LThen he h&ng &p on "e,L 7 cob spit b c$. A tre"or rolled down his spine, sh $ing "e with it. L+o& told hi" !h rlie w s t the *&ner l,L 8 re"inded hi". Alice Jer$ed her he d b c$ tow rd "e L-h t were his ex ct wordsKL L#e s id, F#eFs not here,F nd when ! rlisle s$ed where !h rlie w s, 7 cob s id, FAt the *&ner l.FL Alice "o ned nd s n$ to her $nees. LTell "e Alice,L 8 whispered. LTh t w snFt ! rlisle on the phone,L she s id hopelessly. LAre yo& c lling "e li rKL 7 cob sn rled *ro" beside "e. Alice ignored hi", *oc&sing on "y bewildered * ce. L8t w s 0dw rd.L The words were J&st cho$ed whisper. L#e thin$s yo&Fre de d.L My "ind st rted to wor$ g in. These words werenFt the ones 8Fd been *r id o*, nd the relie* cle red "y he d.
LBos lie told hi" 8 $illed "ysel*, didnFt sheKL 8 s id, sighing s 8 rel xed. L+es,L Alice d"itted, her eyes *l shing h rd g in. L8n her de*ense, she did believe it. They rely on "y sight * r too "&ch *or so"ething th t wor$s so i"per*ectly. B&t *or her to tr c$ hi" down to tell hi" thisM DidnFt she re liIeN or c reN KL #er voice * ded w y in horror. LAnd when 0dw rd c lled here, he tho&ght 7 cob "e nt my *&ner l,L 8 re liIed. 8t st&ng to $now how close 8Fd been, J&st inches w y *ro" his voice. My n ils d&g into 7 cobFs r", b&t he didnFt *linch. Alice loo$ed t "e str ngely. L+o&Fre not &pset,L she whispered. L-ell, itFs re lly rotten ti"ing, b&t it will ll get str ightened o&t. The next ti"e he c lls, so"eone will tell hi"N wh tN re llyNL 8 tr iled o**. #er g Ie str ngled the words in "y thro t. -hy w s she so p nic$edK -hy w s her * ce twisting now with pity nd horrorK -h t w s it she h d s id to Bos lie on the phone J&st nowK So"ething bo&t wh t sheFd seenN nd Bos lieFs re"orseG Bos lie wo&ld never *eel re"orse *or nything th t h ppened to "e. B&t i* sheFd h&rt her * "ily, h&rt her brotherN LBell ,L Alice whispered. L0dw rd wonFt c ll g in. #e believed her.L L8. DonFt. 'nderst nd.L My "o&th *r "ed e ch word in silence. 8 co&ldnFt p&sh the ir o&t to ct& lly s y the words th t wo&ld " $e her expl in wh t th t "e nt. L#eFs going to 8t ly.L 8t too$ the length o* one he rtbe t *or "e to co"prehend. -hen 0dw rdFs voice c "e b c$ to "e now, it w s not the per*ect i"it tion o* "y del&sions. 8t w s J&st the we $, *l t tone o* "y "e"ories. B&t the words lone were eno&gh to shred thro&gh "y chest nd le ve it g ping open. -ords *ro" ti"e when 8 wo&ld h ve bet everything th t 8 owned or co&ld borrow on th t * ct th t he loved "e. !ell, I asn$t going to live ithout you, heFd s id s we w tched Bo"eo nd 7&liet die, here in this very roo". 2ut I asn$t sure ho to do it' I kne 1mmett and (asper ould never help' so I as thinking maybe I ould go to Italy and do something to provoke the "olturi' .ou don$t irritate them. Not unless you ant to die. Not unless you ant to die. LNEML The h l*6shrie$ed deni l w s so lo&d *ter the whispered words, it " de &s ll J&"p. 8 *elt the blood r&shing to "y * ce s 8 re liIed wh t sheFd seen. LNoM No, no, noM #e c nFtM #e c nFt do th tML L#e " de &p his "ind s soon s yo&r *riend con*ir"ed th t it w s too l te to s ve yo&.L LB&t heN he leftM #e didnFt w nt "e ny"oreM -h t di**erence does it " $e nowK #e $new 8 wo&ld die so"eti"eML
L8 donFt thin$ he ever pl nned to o&tlive yo& by long,L Alice s id H&ietly. L#ow dare heML 8 scre "ed. 8 w s on "y *eet now, nd 7 cob rose &ncert inly to p&t hi"sel* between Alice nd "e g in. LEh, get o&t o* the w y, 7 cobML 8 elbowed "y w y ro&nd his tre"bling body with desper te i"p tience. L-h t do we doKL 8 begged Alice. There h d to be so"ething. L! nFt we c ll hi"K ! n ! rlisleKL She w s sh $ing her he d. LTh t w s the *irst thing 8 tried. #e le*t his phone in tr sh c n in Bio 3so"eone nswered itNL she whispered. L+o& s id be*ore we h d to h&rry. #&rry howK LetFs do it, wh tever it isML LBell , 838 donFt thin$ 8 c n s$ yo& toNL She tr iled o** in indecision. LAs$ "eML 8 co"" nded. She p&t her h nds on "y sho&lders, holding "e in pl ce, her *ingers *lexing spor dic lly to e"ph siIe her words. L-e " y lre dy be too l te. 8 s w hi" going to the ,olt&riN nd s$ing to die.L -e both cringed, nd "y eyes were s&ddenly blind. 8 blin$ed *everishly t the te rs. L8t ll depends on wh t they choose. 8 c nFt see th t till they " $e decision. LB&t i* they s y no, nd they "ight3Aro is *ond o* ! rlisle, nd wo&ldnFt w nt to o**end hi"3 0dw rd h s b c$&p pl n. TheyFre very protective o* their city. 8* 0dw rd does so"ething to &pset the pe ce, he thin$s theyFll ct to stop hi". And heFs right. They will.L 8 st red t her with "y J w clenched in *r&str tion. 8Fd he rd nothing yet th t wo&ld expl in why we were still st nding here. LSo i* they gree to gr nt his * vor, weFre too l te. 8* they s y no, nd he co"es &p with pl n to o**end the" H&ic$ly eno&gh, weFre too l te. 8* he gives into his "ore the tric l tendenciesN we "ight h ve ti"e.L LLetFs goML LListen, Bell M -hether we re in ti"e or not, we will be in the he rt o* the ,olt&ri city. 8 will be considered his cco"plice i* he is s&ccess*&l. +o& will be h&" n who not only $nows too "&ch, b&t lso s"ells too good. ThereFs very good ch nce th t they will eli"in te &s ll3 tho&gh in yo&r c se it wonFt be p&nish"ent so "&ch s dinnerti"e.L LThis is wh tFs $eeping &s hereKL 8 s$ed in disbelie*. L8Fll go lone i* yo&Fre *r id.L 8 "ent lly t b&l ted wh t "oney w s le*t in "y cco&nt, nd wondered i* Alice wo&ld lend "e the rest. L8F" only *r id o* getting yo& $illed.L 8 snorted in disg&st. L8 l"ost get "ysel* $illed on d ily b sisM Tell "e wh t 8 need to doML L+o& write note to !h rlie. 8Fll c ll the irlines.L L!h rlie,L 8 g sped.
Not th t "y presence w s protecting hi", b&t co&ld 8 le ve hi" here lone to * ceN L8F" not going to let nything h ppen to !h rlie.L 7 cobFs low voice w s gr&** nd ngry. LScrew the tre ty.L 8 gl nced &p t hi", nd he scowled t "y p nic$ed expression. L#&rry, Bell ,L Alice interr&pted &rgently. 8 r n to the $itchen, y n$ing the dr wers open nd throwing the contents ll over the *loor s 8 se rched *or pen. A s"ooth, brown h nd held one o&t to "e. LTh n$s,L 8 "&"bled, p&lling the c p o** with "y teeth. #e silently h nded "e the p d o* p per we wrote phone "ess ges on. 8 tore o** the top sheet nd threw it over "y sho&lder. &ad, 8 wrote. I$m ith Alice. 1d ard$s in trouble. .ou can ground me hen I get back. I kno it$s a bad time. So sorry. <ove you so much. 2ella. LDonFt go,L 7 cob whispered. The nger w s ll gone now th t Alice w s o&t o* sight. 8 w snFt bo&t to w ste ti"e rg&ing with hi". L?le se, ple se, please t $e c re o* !h rlie,L 8 s id s 8 d shed b c$ o&t to the *ront roo". Alice w s w iting in the doorw y with b g over her sho&lder. L%et yo&r w llet3yo&Fll need 8D. *lease tell "e yo& h ve p ssport. 8 donFt h ve ti"e to *orge one.L 8 nodded nd then r ced &p the st irs, "y $nees we $ with gr tit&de th t "y "other h d w nted to " rry ?hil on be ch in Mexico. E* co&rse, li$e ll her pl ns, it h d * llen thro&gh. B&t not be*ore 8Fd " de ll the pr ctic l rr nge"ents 8 co&ld *or her. 8 tore thro&gh "y roo". 8 st&**ed "y old w llet, cle n T6shirt, nd swe tp nts into "y b c$p c$, nd then threw "y toothbr&sh on top. 8 h&rled "ysel* b c$ down the st irs. The sense o* deJ v& w s ne rly sti*ling by this point. At le st, &nli$e the l st ti"e3when 8Fd r&n w y *ro" /or$s to escape thirsty v "pires r ther th n to find the"38 wo&ldnFt h ve to s y goodbye to !h rlie in person. 7 cob nd Alice were loc$ed in so"e $ind o* con*ront tion in *ront o* the open door, st nding so * r p rt yo& wo&ldnFt ss&"e t *irst th t they were h ving convers tion. Neither one see"ed to notice "y noisy re ppe r nce. L+o& "ight control yo&rsel* on occ sion, b&t these leeches yo&Fre t $ing her to3L 7 cob w s *&rio&sly cc&sing her. L+es. +o&Fre right, dog.L Alice w s sn rling, too. LThe ,olt&ri re the very essence o* o&r $ind3 theyFre the re son yo&r h ir st nds on end when yo& s"ell "e. They re the s&bst nce o* yo&r night" res, the dre d behind yo&r instincts. 8F" not &n w re o* th t.L LAnd yo& t $e her to the" li$e bottle o* wine *or p rtyML he sho&ted. L+o& thin$ sheFd be better o** i* 8 le*t her here lone, with ,ictori st l$ing herKL
L-e c n h ndle the redhe d.L LThen why is she still h&ntingKL 7 cob growled, nd sh&dder rippled thro&gh his torso. LStop th tML 8 sho&ted t the" both, wild with i"p tience. LArg&e when we get b c$, letFs goML Alice t&rned *or the c r, dis ppe ring in her h ste. 8 h&rried *ter her, p &sing &to" tic lly to t&rn nd loc$ the door. 7 cob c &ght "y r" with shivering h nd. L?le se, Bell . 8F" begging.L #is d r$ eyes were glistening with te rs. A l&"p *illed "y thro t. L7 $e, 8 have to3L L+o& donFt, tho&gh. +o& re lly donFt. +o& co&ld st y here with "e. +o& co&ld st y live. /or !h rlie. /or "e.L The engine o* ! rlisleFs Mercedes p&rredG the rhyth" o* the thr&""ing spi$ed when Alice revved it i"p tiently. 8 shoo$ "y he d, te rs sp ttering *ro" "y eyes with the sh rp "otion. 8 p&lled "y r" *ree, nd he didnFt *ight "e. LDonFt die, Bell ,L he cho$ed o&t. LDonFt go. DonFt.L -h t i* 8 never s w hi" g inK The tho&ght p&shed "e p st the silent te rsG sob bro$e o&t *ro" "y chest. 8 threw "y r"s ro&nd his w ist nd h&gged *or one too6short "o"ent, b&rying "y te r6wet * ce g inst his chest. #e p&t his big h nd on the b c$ o* "y h ir, s i* to hold "e there. LBye, 7 $e.L 8 p&lled his h nd *ro" "y h ir, nd $issed his p l". 8 co&ldnFt be r to loo$ t his * ce. LSorry,L 8 whispered. Then 8 sp&n nd r ced *or the c r. The door on the p ssenger side w s open nd w iting. 8 threw "y b c$p c$ over the he drest nd slid in, sl ""ing the door behind "e. LT $e c re o* !h rlieML 8 t&rned to sho&t o&t the window, b&t 7 cob w s nowhere in sight. As Alice sto"ped on the g s nd3with the tires screeching li$e h&" n scre "s3sp&n &s ro&nd to * ce the ro d, 8 c &ght sight o* shred o* white ne r the edge o* the trees. A piece o* shoe.
1". HATE
-0 MAD0 E'B /L8%#T -8T# S0!ENDS TE S?AB0, AND T#0N the tr&e tort&re beg n. The pl ne s t idle on the t r" c while the *light ttend nts strolled3so c s& lly3&p nd down the isle, p tting the b gs in the overhe d co"p rt"ents to " $e s&re everything *it. The pilots le ned o&t o* the coc$pit, ch tting with the" s they p ssed. AliceFs h nd w s h rd on "y sho&lder, holding "e in "y se t while 8 bo&nced nxio&sly &p nd down. L8tFs * ster th n r&nning,L she re"inded "e in low voice. 8 J&st nodded in ti"e with "y bo&ncing. At l st the pl ne rolled l Iily *ro" the g te, b&ilding speed with gr d& l ste diness th t tort&red "e *&rther. 8 expected so"e $ind o* relie* when we chieved li*to**, b&t "y *renIied i"p tience didnFt lessen. Alice li*ted the phone on the b c$ o* the se t in *ront o* her be*ore weFd stopped cli"bing, t&rning her b c$ on the stew rdess who eyed her with dis pprov l. So"ething bo&t "y expression stopped the stew rdess *ro" co"ing over to protest. 8 tried to t&ne o&t wh t Alice w s "&r"&ring to 7 sperG 8 didnFt w nt to he r the words g in, b&t so"e slipped thro&gh. L8 c nFt be s&re, 8 $eep seeing hi" do di**erent things, he $eeps ch nging his "indN A $illing spree thro&gh the city, tt c$ing the g& rd, li*ting c r over his he d in the " in sH& reN "ostly things th t wo&ld expose the"3he $nows th tFs the * stest w y to *orce re ctionNL LNo, yo& c nFt.L AliceFs voice dropped till it w s ne rly in &dible, tho&gh 8 w s sitting inches *ro" her. !ontr rily, 8 listened h rder. LTell 0""ett noN -ell, go *ter 0""ett nd Bos lie nd bring the" b c$N Thin$ bo&t it, 7 sper. 8* he sees ny o* &s, wh t do yo& thin$ he will doKL She nodded. L0x ctly. 8 thin$ Bell is the only ch nce3i* there is ch nceN 8Fll do everything th t c n be done, b&t prep re ! rlisleG the odds renFt good.L She l &ghed then, nd there w s c tch in her voice. L8Fve tho&ght o* th tN +es, 8 pro"ise.L #er voice bec "e ple ding. LDonFt *ollow "e. 8 pro"ise, 7 sper. Ene w y or nother, 8Fll get o&tN And 8 love yo&.L She h&ng &p, nd le ned b c$ in her se t with her eyes closed. L8 h te lying to hi".L LTell "e everything, Alice,L 8 begged. L8 donFt &nderst nd. -hy did yo& tell 7 sper to stop 0""ett, why c nFt they co"e help &sKL LTwo re sons,L she whispered, her eyes still closed. LThe *irst 8 told hi". -e could try to stop 0dw rd o&rselves3i* 0""ett co&ld get his h nds on hi", we "ight be ble to stop hi" long eno&gh to convince hi" yo&Fre live. B&t we c nFt sne $ &p on 0dw rd. And i* he sees &s co"ing *or hi", heFll J&st ct th t "&ch * ster. #eFll throw B&iclc thro&gh w ll or so"ething, nd the ,olt&ri will t $e hi" down. LTh tFs the second re son o* co&rse, the re son 8 co&ldnFt s y to 7 sper. Bec &se i* theyFre there nd the ,olt&ri $ill 0dw rd, theyFll *ight the". Bell .L She opened her eyes nd st red t "e, beseeching. L8* there were ny ch nce we co&ld winN i* there were w y th t the *o&r o* &s
co&ld s ve "y brother by *ighting *or hi", " ybe it wo&ld be di**erent. B&t we c nFt, nd, Bell , 8 c nFt lose 7 sper li$e th t.L 8 re liIed why her eyes begged *or "y &nderst nding. She w s protecting 7 sper, t o&r expense, nd " ybe t 0dw rdFs, too. 8 &nderstood, nd 8 did not thin$ b dly o* her. 8 nodded. L!o&ldnFt 0dw rd he r yo&, tho&gh.FL 8 s$ed. L-o&ldnFt he $now, s soon s he he rd yo&r tho&ghts, th t 8 w s live, th t there w s no point to thisKL Not th t there w s ny J&sti*ic tion, either w y. 8 still co&ldnFt believe th t he w s c p ble o* re cting li$e this. 8t " de no senseM 8 re"e"bered with p in*&l cl rity his words th t d y on the so* , while we w tched Bo"eo nd 7&liet $ill the"selves, one *ter the other. I asn$t going to live ithout you, heFd s id, s i* it sho&ld be s&ch n obvio&s concl&sion. B&t the words he h d spo$en in the *orest s heFd le*t "e h d c nceled ll th t o&t3*orce*&lly. LIf he were listening,L she expl ined. LB&t believe it or not, itFs possible to lie with yo&r tho&ghts. 8* yo& h d died, 8 wo&ld still try to stop hi". And 8 wo&ld be thin$ing FsheFs live, sheFs liveF s h rd s 8 co&ld. #e $nows th t.L 8 gro&nd "y teeth in "&te *r&str tion. L8* there were ny w y to do this witho&t yo&, Bell , 8 wo&ldnFt be end ngering yo& li$e this. 8tFs very wrong o* "e.L LDonFt be st&pid. 8F" the l st thing yo& sho&ld be worrying bo&t.L 8 shoo$ "y he d i"p tiently. LTell "e wh t yo& "e nt, bo&t h ting to lie to 7 sper.L She s"iled gri" s"ile. L8 pro"ised hi" 8 wo&ld get o&t be*ore they $illed "e, too. 8tFs not so"ething 8 c n g& r ntee3not by long shot.L She r ised her eyebrows, s i* willing "e to t $e the d nger "ore serio&sly. L-ho re these ,olt&riKL 8 de" nded in whisper. L-h t " $es the" so "&ch "ore d ngero&s th n 0""ett, 7 sper, Bos lie, nd yo&KL 8t w s h rd to i" gine so"ething sc rier th n th t. She too$ deep bre th, nd then br&ptly leveled d r$ gl nce over "y sho&lder. 8 t&rned in ti"e to see the " n in the isle se t loo$ing w y s i* he w snFt listening to &s. #e ppe red to be b&siness" n, in d r$ s&it with power tie nd l ptop on his $nees. -hile 8 st red t hi" with irrit tion, he opened the co"p&ter nd very conspic&o&sly p&t he dphones on. 8 le ned closer to Alice. #er lips were t "y e rs s she bre thed the story. L8 w s s&rprised th t yo& recogniIed the n "e,L she s id. LTh t yo& &nderstood so i""edi tely wh t it "e nt3when 8 s id he w s going to 8t ly. 8 tho&ght 8 wo&ld h ve to expl in. #ow "&ch did 0dw rd tell yo&KL L#e J&st s id they were n old, power*&l * "ily3li$e roy lty. Th t yo& didnFt nt goniIe the" &nless yo& w nted toN die,L 8 whispered. The l st word w s h rd to cho$e o&t. L+o& h ve to &nderst nd,L she s id, her voice slower, "ore "e s&red now. L-e !&llens re &niH&e in "ore w ys th n yo& $now. 8tFsN abnormal *or so " ny o* &s to live together in pe ce. 8tFs the s "e *or T ny Fs * "ily in the north, nd ! rlisle spec&l tes th t bst ining " $es it e sier *or &s to be civiliIed, to *or" bonds b sed on love r ther th n s&rviv l or convenience.
0ven 7 "esFs little coven o* three w s &n&s& lly l rge3 nd yo& s w how e sily L &rent le*t the". E&r $ind tr vel lone, or in p irs, s gener l r&le. ! rlisleFs * "ily is the biggest in existence, s * r s 8 $now, with the one exception. The ,olt&ri. LThere were three o* the" origin lly, Aro, ! i&s, nd M rc&s.L L8Fve seen the",L 8 "&"bled. L8n the pict&re in ! rlisleFs st&dy.L Alice nodded. LTwo *e" les Joined the" over ti"e, nd the *ive o* the" " $e &p the * "ily. 8F" not s&re, b&t 8 s&spect th t their ge is wh t gives the" the bility to live pe ce*&lly together. They re well over three tho&s nd ye rs old. Er " ybe itFs their gi*ts th t give the" extr toler nce. Li$e 0dw rd nd 8, Aro nd M rc&s reN t lented.L She contin&ed be*ore 8 co&ld s$. LEr " ybe itFs J&st their love o* power th t binds the" together. Boy lty is n pt description.L LB&t i* there re only *ive3L L/ive th t " $e &p the * "ily,L she corrected. LTh t doesnFt incl&de their g& rd.L 8 too$ deep bre th. LTh t so&ndsN serio&s.L LEh, it is,L she ss&red "e. LThere were nine "e"bers o* the g& rd th t were per" nent, the l st ti"e we he rd. Ethers re "oreN tr nsitory. 8t ch nges. And " ny o* the" re gi*ted s well3 with *or"id ble gi*ts, gi*ts th t " $e wh t 8 c n do loo$ li$e p rlor tric$. The ,olt&ri chose the" *or their bilities, physic l or otherwise.L 8 opened "y "o&th, nd then closed it. 8 didnFt thin$ 8 w nted to $now how b d the odds were. She nodded g in, s i* she &nderstood ex ctly wh t 8 w s thin$ing. LThey donFt get into too " ny con*ront tions. No one is st&pid eno&gh to "ess with the". They st y in their city, le ving only s d&ty c lls.L LD&tyKL 8 wondered. LDidnFt 0dw rd tell yo& wh t they doKL LNo,L 8 s id, *eeling the bl n$ expression on "y * ce. Alice loo$ed over "y he d g in, tow rd the b&siness" n, nd p&t her wintry lips b c$ to "y e r. LThereFs re son he c lled the" roy ltyN the r&ling cl ss. Ever the "illenni , they h ve ss&"ed the position o* en*orcing o&r r&les3which ct& lly tr nsl tes to p&nishing tr nsgressors. They *&l*ill th t d&ty decisively.L My eyes popped wide with shoc$. LThere re rulesKL 8 s$ed in voice th t w s too lo&d. LShhML LSho&ldnFt so"ebody h ve "entioned this to "e e rlierKL 8 whispered ngrily. L8 "e n, 8 w nted to be N to be one o* yo&M Sho&ldnFt so"ebody h ve expl ined the r&les to "eKL
Alice ch&c$led once t "y re ction. L8tFs not th t co"plic ted, Bell . ThereFs only one core restriction3 nd i* yo& thin$ bo&t it, yo& c n prob bly *ig&re it o&t *or yo&rsel*.L 8 tho&ght bo&t it. LNope, 8 h ve no ide .L She shoo$ her he d, dis ppointed. LM ybe itFs too obvio&s. -e J&st h ve to $eep o&r existence secret.L LEh,L 8 "&"bled. 8t as obvio&s. L8t " $es sense, nd "ost o* &s donFt need policing,L she contin&ed. LB&t, *ter *ew cent&ries, so"eti"es one o* &s gets bored. Er cr Iy. 8 dorFt $now. And then the ,olt&ri step in be*ore it c n co"pro"ise the", or the rest o* &s.L LSo 0dw rdNL L8s pl nning to *lo&t th t in their own city3the city theyFve secretly held *or three tho&s nd ye rs, since the ti"e o* the 0tr&sc ns. They re so protective o* their city th t they donFt llow h&nting within its w lls. ,olterr is prob bly the s *est city in the world3*ro" v "pire tt c$ t the very le st.L LB&t yo& s id they didnFt le ve. #ow do they e tKL LThey donFt le ve. They bring in their *ood *ro" the o&tside, *ro" H&ite * r w y so"eti"es. 8t gives their g& rd so"ething to do when theyFre not o&t nnihil ting " veric$s. Er protecting ,olterr *ro" expos&reNL L/ro" sit& tions li$e this one, li$e 0dw rd,L 8 *inished her sentence. 8t w s " Iingly e sy to s y his n "e now. 8 w snFt s&re wh t the di**erence w s. M ybe bec &se 8 w snFt re lly pl nning on living "&ch longer witho&t seeing hi". Er t ll, i* we were too l te. 8t w s co"*orting to $now th t 8 wo&ld h ve n e sy o&t. L8 do&bt theyFve ever h d sit& tion H&ite li$e this,L she "&ttered, disg&sted. L+o& donFt get lot o* s&icid l v "pires.L The so&nd th t esc ped o&t o* "y "o&th w s very H&iet, b&t Alice see"ed to &nderst nd th t it w s cry o* p in. She wr pped her thin, strong r" ro&nd "y sho&lders. L-eFll do wh t we c n, Bell . 8tFs not over yet.L LNot yet.L 8 let her co"*ort "e, tho&gh 8 $new she tho&ght o&r ch nces were poor. LAnd the ,olt&ri will get &s i* we "ess &p.L Alice sti**ened. L+o& s y th t li$e itFs good thing.L 8 shr&gged. LCnoc$ it o**, Bell , or weFre t&rning ro&nd in New +or$ nd going b c$ to /or$s.L L-h tKL
L+o& $now wh t. 8* weFre too l te *or 0dw rd, 8F" going to do "y d "nedest to get yo& b c$ to !h rlie, nd 8 donFt w nt ny tro&ble *ro" yo&. Do yo& &nderst nd th tKL LS&re, Alice.L She p&lled b c$ slightly so th t she co&ld gl re t "e. LNo tro&ble.L LSco&tFs honor,L 8 "&ttered. She rolled her eyes. LLet "e concentr te, now. 8F" trying to see wh t heFs pl nning.L She le*t her r" ro&nd "e, b&t let her he d * ll b c$ g inst the se t nd closed her eyes. She pressed her *ree h nd to the side o* her * ce, r&bbing her *ingertips g inst her te"ple. 8 w tched her in * scin tion *or long ti"e. 0vent& lly, she bec "e &tterly "otionless, hei * ce li$e stone sc&lpt&re. The "in&tes p ssed, nd i* 8 didnFt $now better, 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght sheFd * llen sleep. 8 didnFt d re interr&pt her to s$ wh t w s going on. 8 wished there w s so"ething s *e *or "e to thin$ bo&t. 8 co&ldnFt llow "ysel* to consider the horrors we were he ded tow rd, or, "ore horri*ic yet, the ch nce th t we "ight * il3not i* 8 w nted to $eep *ro" scre "ing lo&d. 8 co&ldnFt anticipate nything, either. M ybe, i* 8 were very, very, very l&c$y, 8 wo&ld so"ehow be ble to s ve 0dw rd. B&t 8 w snFt so st&pid s to thin$ th t s ving hi" wo&ld "e n th t 8 co&ld st y with hi". 8 w s no di**erent, no "ore speci l th n 8Fd been be*ore. There wo&ld be no new re son *or hi" to w nt "e now. Seeing hi" nd losing hi" g inN 8 *o&ght b c$ g inst the p in. This w s the price 8 h d to p y to s ve his li*e. 8 wo&ld p y it. They showed "ovie, nd "y neighbor got he dphones. So"eti"es 8 w tched the *ig&res "oving cross the little screen, b&t 8 co&ldnFt even tell i* the "ovie w s s&pposed to be ro" nce or horror *il". A*ter n eternity, the pl ne beg n to descend tow rd New +or$ !ity. Alice re" ined in her tr nce. 8 dithered, re ching o&t to to&ch her, only to p&ll "y h nd b c$ g in. This h ppened doIen ti"es be*ore the pl ne to&ched town with J rring i"p ct. LAlice,L 8 *in lly s id. LAlice, we h ve to go.L 8 to&ched her r". #er eyes c "e open very slowly. She shoo$ her he d *ro" side to side *or "o"ent. LAnything newKL 8 s$ed in low voice, conscio&s o* the " n listening on the other side o* "e. LNot ex ctly,L she bre thed in voice 8 co&ld b rely c tch. L#eFs getting closer. #eFs deciding how heFs going to s$.L -e h d to r&n *or o&r connection, b&t th t w s good3better th n h ving to w it. As soon s the pl ne w s in the ir, Alice closed her eyes nd slid b c$ into the s "e st&por s be*ore. 8 w ited
s p tiently s 8 co&ld. -hen it w s d r$ g in, 8 opened the window to st re o&t into the *l t bl c$ th t w s no better th n the window sh de. 8 w s gr te*&l th t 8Fd h d so " ny "onthsF pr ctice with controlling "y tho&ghts. 8nste d o* dwelling on the terri*ying possibilities th t, no " tter wh t Alice s id, 8 did not intend to s&rvive, 8 concentr ted on lesser proble"s. Li$e, wh t 8 w s going to s y to !h rlie i* 8 got b c$OF Th t w s thorny eno&gh proble" to occ&py sever l ho&rs. And 7 cobK #eFd pro"ised to w it *or "e, b&t did th t pro"ise still pplyK -o&ld 8 end &p ho"e lone in /or$s, with no one t llK M ybe 8 didnFt ant to s&rvive, no " tter wh t h ppened. 8t *elt li$e seconds l ter when Alice shoo$ "y sho&lder38 h dnFt re liIed 8Fd * llen sleep. LBell ,L she hissed, her voice little too lo&d in the d r$ened c bin *&ll o* sleeping h&" ns. 8 w snFt disoriented38 h dnFt been o&t long eno&gh *or th t. L-h tFs wrongKL AliceFs eyes gle "ed in the di" light o* re ding l "p in the row behind &s. L8tFs not wrong.L She s"iled *iercely. L8tFs right. TheyFre deliber ting, b&t theyFve decided to tell hi" no.L LThe ,olt&riKL 8 "&ttered, groggy. LE* co&rse, Bell , $eep &p. 8 c n see wh t theyFre going to s y.L LTell "e.L An ttend nt tiptoed down the isle to &s. L! n 8 get yo& l dies pillowKL #is h&shed whisper w s reb&$e to o&r co"p r tively lo&d convers tion. LNo, th n$ yo&.L Alice be "ed t &p t hi", her s"ile shoc$ingly lovely. The ttend ntFs expression w s d Ied s he t&rned nd st&"bled his w y b c$. LTell "e,L 8 bre thed l"ost silently. She whispered into "y e r. LTheyFre interested in hi"3they thin$ his t lent co&ld be &sel&l. TheyFre going to o**er hi" pl ce with the".L L-h t will he s yKL L8 c nFt see th t yet, b&t 8Fll bet itFs color*&l.L She grinned g in. LThis is the *irst good news3the *irst bre $. TheyFre intrig&edG they tr&ly donFt w nt to destroy hi"3Fw ste*&l,F th tFs the word Aro will &se3 nd th t " y be eno&gh to *orce hi" to get cre tive. The longer he spends on his pl ns, the better *or &s.L 8t w snFt eno&gh to " $e "e hope*&l, to " $e "e *eel the relie* she obvio&sly *elt. There were still so " ny w ys th t we co&ld be too l te. And i* 8 didnFt get thro&gh the w lls into the ,olt&ri city, 8 wo&ldnFt be ble to stop Alice *ro" dr gging "e b c$ ho"e. LAliceKL
L-h tKL L8F" con*&sed. #ow re yo& seeing this so cle rlyK And then other ti"es, yo& see things * r w y 3things th t donFt h ppenKL #er eyes tightened. 8 wondered i* she g&essed wh t 8 w s thin$ing o*. L8tFs cle r bec &se itFs i""edi te nd close, nd 8F" re lly concentr ting. The * r w y things th t co"e on their own3those re J&st gli"pses, * int " ybes. ?l&s, 8 see "y $ind "ore e sily th n yo&rs. 0dw rd is even e sier bec &se 8F" so tt&ned to hi".L L+o& see "e so"eti"es,L 8 re"inded her. She shoo$ her he d. LNot s cle rly.L 8 sighed. L8 re lly wish yo& co&ld h ve been right bo&t "e. 8n the beginning, when yo& *irst s w things bo&t "e, be*ore we even "etNL L-h t do yo& "e nKL L+o& s w "e beco"e one o* yo&.L 8 b rely "o&thed the words. She sighed. L8t w s possibility t the ti"e.L LAt the ti"e,L 8 repe ted. LAct& lly, Bell NL She hesit ted, nd then see"ed to " $e choice. L#onestly, 8 thin$ itFs ll gotten beyond ridic&lo&s. 8F" deb ting whether to J&st ch nge yo& "ysel*.L 8 st red t her, *roIen with shoc$. 8nst ntly, "y "ind resisted her words. 8 co&ldnFt **ord th t $ind o* hope i* she ch nged her "ind. LDid 8 sc re yo&KL she wondered. L8 tho&ght th tFs wh t yo& w nted.L L8 doML 8 g sped. LEh, Alice, do it nowM 8 co&ld help yo& so "&ch3 nd 8 wo&ldnFt slow yo& down. Bite "eML LShh,L she c &tioned. The ttend nt w s loo$ing in o&r direction g in. LTry to be re son ble,L she whispered. L-e donFt h ve eno&gh ti"e. -e h ve to get into ,olterr to"orrow. +o&Fd be writhing in p in *or d ys.L She " de * ce. LAnd 8 donFt thin$ the other p ssengers wo&ld re ct well.L 8 bit "y lip. L8* yo& donFt do it now, yo&Fll ch nge yo&r "ind.L LNo.L She *rowned, her expression &nh ppy. L8 donFt thin$ 8 will. #eFll be *&rio&s, b&t wh t will he be ble to do bo&t itKL My he rt be t * ster. LNothing t ll.L She l &ghed H&ietly, nd then sighed. L+o& h ve too "&ch * ith in "e, Bell . 8F" not s&re th t 8 can. 8Fll prob bly J&st end &p $illing yo&.L
L8Fll t $e "y ch nces.L L+o& re so biI rre, even *or h&" n.L LTh n$s.L LEh well, this is p&rely hypothetic l t this point, nyw y. /irst we h ve to live thro&gh to"orrow.L L%ood point.L B&t t le st 8 h d so"ething to hope *or i* we did. 8* Alice " de good on her pro"ise3 nd i* she didnFt $ill "e3then 0dw rd co&ld r&n *ter his distr ctions ll he w nted, nd 8 co&ld *ollow. 8 wo&ldnFt let hi" be distr cted. M ybe, when 8 w s be &ti*&l nd strong, he wo&ldnFt w nt distr ctions. L%o b c$ to sleep,L she enco&r ged "e. L8Fll w $e yo& &p when thereFs so"ething new.L LBight,L 8 gr&"bled, cert in th t sleep w s lost c &se now. Alice p&lled her legs &p on the se t, wr pping her r"s ro&nd the" nd le ning her *orehe d g inst her $nees. She roc$ed b c$ nd *orth s she concentr ted. 8 rested "y he d g inst the se t, w tching her, nd the next thing 8 $new, she w s sn pping the sh de closed g inst the * int brightening in the e stern s$y. L-h tFs h ppeningKL 8 "&"bled. LTheyFve told hi" no,L she s id H&ietly. 8 noticed t once th t her enth&si s" w s gone. My voice cho$ed in "y thro t with p nic. L-h tFs he going to doKL L8t w s ch otic t *irst. 8 w s only getting *lic$ers, he w s ch nging pl ns so H&ic$ly.L L-h t $inds o* pl nsKL 8 pressed. LThere w s b d ho&r,L she whispered. L#eFd decided to go h&nting.L She loo$ed t "e, seeing the co"prehension in "y * ce. L8n the city,L she expl ined. L8t got very close. #e ch nged his "ind t the l st "in&te.L L#e wo&ldnFt w nt to dis ppoint ! rlisle,L 8 "&"bled. Not t the end. L?rob bly,L she greed. L-ill there be eno&gh ti"eKL As 8 spo$e, there w s shi*t in the c bin press&re. 8 co&ld *eel the pl ne ngling downw rd. L8F" hoping so3i* he stic$s to his l test decision, " ybe.L L-h t is th tKL L#eFs going to $eep it si"ple. #eFs J&st going to w l$ o&t into the s&n.L
7&st w l$ o&t into the s&n. Th t w s ll. 8t wo&ld be eno&gh. The i" ge o* 0dw rd in the "e dow3glowing, shi""ering li$e his s$in w s " de o* "illion di "ond * cets3w s b&rned into "y "e"ory. No h&" n who s w th t wo&ld ever *orget. The ,olt&ri co&ldnFt possibly llow it. Not i* they w nted to $eep their city inconspic&o&s. 8 loo$ed t the slight gr y glow th t shone thro&gh the opened windows. L-eFll be too l te,L 8 whispered, "y thro t closing in p nic. She shoo$ her he d. LBight now, heFs le ning tow rd the "elodr " tic. #e w nts the biggest &dience possible, so heFll choose the " in pl I , &nder the cloc$ tower. The w lls re high there. #eFll w it till the s&n is ex ctly overhe d.L LSo we h ve till noonKL L8* weFre l&c$y. 8* he stic$s with this decision.L The pilot c "e on over the interco", nno&ncing, *irst in /rench nd then in 0nglish, o&r i""inent l nding. The se t belt lights dinged nd *l shed. L#ow * r is it *ro" /lorence to ,olterr KL LTh t depends on how * st yo& driveN Bell KL L+esKL She eyed "e spec&l tively. L#ow strongly re yo& opposed to gr nd the*t &toKL
A bright yellow ?orsche scre "ed to stop *ew *eet in *ront o* where 8 p ced, the word T'BBE scr wled in silver c&rsive cross its b c$. 0veryone beside "e on the crowded irport sidew l$ st red. L#&rry, Bell ML Alice sho&ted i"p tiently thro&gh the open p ssenger window. 8 r n to the door nd threw "ysel* in, *eeling s tho&gh 8 "ight s well be we ring bl c$ stoc$ing over "y he d. LSheesh, Alice,L 8 co"pl ined. L!o&ld yo& pic$ more conspic&o&s c r to ste lKL The interior w s bl c$ le ther, nd the windows were tinted d r$. 8t *elt s *er inside, li$e nightti"e. Alice w s lre dy we ving, too * st, thro&gh the thic$ irport tr **ic3sliding thro&gh tiny sp ces between the c rs s 8 cringed nd *&"bled *or "y se t belt. LThe i"port nt H&estion,L she corrected, Lis whether 8 co&ld h ve stolen * ster c r, nd 8 donFt thin$ so. 8 got l&c$y.L L8F" s&re th t will be very co"*orting t the ro dbloc$.L
She trilled l &gh. LTr&st "e, Bell . 8* nyone sets &p ro dbloc$, it will be behind &s.L She hit the g s then, s i* to prove her point. 8 prob bly sho&ld h ve w tched o&t the window s *irst the city o* /lorence nd then the T&sc n l ndsc pe *l shed p st with bl&rring speed. This w s "y *irst trip nywhere, nd " ybe "y l st, too. B&t AliceFs driving *rightened "e, despite the * ct th t 8 $new 8 co&ld tr&st her behind the wheel. And 8 w s too tort&red with nxiety to re lly see the hills or the w lled towns th t loo$ed li$e c stles in the dist nce. LDo yo& see nything "oreKL LThereFs so"ething going on,L Alice "&ttered. LSo"e $ind o* *estiv l. The streets re *&ll o* people nd red *l gs. -h tFs the d te tod yKL 8 w snFt entirely s&re. LThe nineteenth, " ybeKL L-ell, th tFs ironic. 8tFs S int M rc&s D y.L L-hich "e nsKL She ch&c$led d r$ly. LThe city holds celebr tion every ye r. As the legend goes, !hristi n "ission ry, / ther M rc&s3M rc&s o* the ,olt&n, in * ct3drove ll the v "pires *ro" ,olterr *i*teen h&ndred ye rs go. The story cl i"s he w s " rtyred in Bo" ni , still trying to drive w y the v "pire sco&rge. E* co&rse th tFs nonsense3heFs never le*t the city. B&t th tFs where so"e o* the s&perstitions bo&t things li$e crosses nd g rlic co"e *ro". Father M rc&s &sed the" so s&ccess*&lly. And v "pires donFt tro&ble ,olterr , so they "&st wor$.L #er s"ile w s s rdonic. L8tFs beco"e "ore o* celebr tion o* the city, nd recognition *or the police *orce 3 *ter ll, ,olterr is n " Iingly s *e city. The police get the credit.L 8 w s re liIing wh t she "e nt when sheFd s id ironic. LTheyFre not going to be very h ppy i* 0dw rd "esses things &p *or the" on St. M rc&s D y, re theyKL She shoo$ her he d, her expression gri". LNo. TheyFll ct very H&ic$ly.L 8 loo$ed w y, *ighting g inst "y teeth s they tried to bre $ thro&gh the s$in o* "y lower lip. Bleeding w s not the best ide right now. The s&n w s terri*yingly high in the p le bl&e s$y. L#eFs still pl nning on noonKL 8 chec$ed. L+es. #eFs decided to w it. And theyFre w iting *or hi".L LTell "e wh t 8 h ve to do.L She $ept her eyes on the winding ro d3the needle on the speedo"eter w s to&ching the * r right on the di l. L+o& donFt h ve to do nything. #e J&st h s to see yo& be*ore he "oves into the light. And he h s to see yo& be*ore he sees "e.L L#ow re we going to wor$ th tKL
A s" ll red c r see"ed to be r cing b c$w rd s Alice Ioo"ed ro&nd it. L8F" going to get yo& s close s possible, nd then yo&Fre going to r&n in the direction 8 point yo&.L 8 nodded. LTry not to trip,L she dded. L-e donFt h ve ti"e *or conc&ssion tod y.L 8 gro ned. Th t wo&ld be J&st li$e "e3r&in everything, destroy the world, in "o"ent o* $l&tIiness. The s&n contin&ed to cli"b in the s$y while Alice r ced g inst it. 8t w s too brighO, nd th t h d "e p nic$ing. M ybe he wo&ldnFt *eel the need to w it *or noon *ter ll. LThere,L Alice s id br&ptly, pointing to the c stle city top the closest hill. 8 st red t it, *eeling the very *irst hint o* new $ind o* *e r. 0very "in&te since yesterd y "orning3it see"ed li$e wee$ go3when Alice h d spo$en his n "e t the *oot o* the st irs, there h d been only one *e r. And yet, now, s 8 st red t the ncient sienn w lls nd towers crowning the pe $ o* the steep hill, 8 *elt nother, "ore sel*ish $ind o* dre d thrill thro&gh "e. 8 s&pposed the city w s very be &ti*&l. 8t bsol&tely terri*ied "e. L,olterr ,L Alice nno&nced in *l t, icy voice.
2#. VO!TERRA
-0 B0%AN T#0 ST00? !L8MB, AND T#0 BEAD %B0- !EN%0ST0D. As we wo&nd higher, the c rs bec "e too close together *or Alice to we ve ins nely between the" ny"ore. -e slowed to cr wl behind little t n ?e&geot. LAlice,L 8 "o ned. The cloc$ on the d sh see"ed to be speeding &p. L8tFs the only w y in,L she tried soothe "e. B&t her voice w s too str ined to co"*ort. The c rs contin&ed to edge *orw rd, one c r length t ti"e. The s&n be "ed down brilli ntly, see"ing lre dy overhe d. The c rs crept one by one tow rd the city. As we got closer, 8 co&ld see c rs p r$ed by the side o* the ro d with people getting o&t to w l$ the test o* the w y. At *irst 8 tho&ght it w s J&st i"p tience3so"ething 8 co&ld e sily &nderst nd. B&t then we c "e ro&nd switchb c$, nd 8 co&ld see the *illed p r$ing lot o&tside the city w ll, the crowds o* people w l$ing thro&gh the g tes. No one w s being llowed to drive thro&gh. LAlice,L 8 whispered &rgently.
L8 $now,L she s id. #er * ce w s chiseled *ro" ice. Now th t 8 w s loo$ing, nd we were cr wling slowly eno&gh to see, 8 co&ld tell th t it w s very windy. The people crowding tow rd the g te gripped their h ts nd t&gged their h ir o&t o* their * ces. Their clothes billowed ro&nd the". 8 lso noticed th t the color red w s everywhere. Bed shirts, red h ts, red *l gs dripping li$e long ribbons beside the g te, whipping in the wind3 s 8 w tched, the brilli nt cri"son sc r* one wo" n h d tied ro&nd her h ir w s c &ght in s&dden g&st. 8t twisted &p into the ir bove her, writhing li$e it w s live. She re ched *or it, J&"ping in the ir, b&t it contin&ed to *l&tter higher, p tch o* bloody color g inst the d&ll, ncient w lls. LBell .L Alice spo$e H&ic$ly in *ierce, low voice. L8 c nFt see wh t the g& rd here will decide now3i* this doesnFt wor$, yo&Fre going to h ve to go in lone. +o&Fre going to h ve to r&n. 7&st $eep s$ing *or the ? l IIo dei ?riori, nd r&nning in the direction they tell yo&. DonFt get lost.L L? l IIo dei ?riori, ? l IIo dei ?riori,L 8 repe ted the n "e over nd over g in, trying to get it down. LEr Fthe cloc$ tower,F i* they spe $ 0nglish. 8Fll go ro&nd nd try to *ind secl&ded spot so"ewhere behind the city where 8 c n go over the w ll.L 8 nodded. L? l IIo dei ?riori.L L0dw rd will be &nder the cloc$ tower, to the north o* the sH& re. ThereFs n rrow lleyw y on the right, nd heFll be in the sh dow there. +o& h ve to get his ttention be*ore he c n "ove into the s&n.L 8 nodded *&rio&sly. Alice w s ne r the *ront o* the line. A " n in n vy bl&e &ni*or" w s directing the *low o* tr **ic, t&rning the c rs w y *ro" the *&ll lot. They '6t&rned nd he ded b c$ to *ind pl ce beside the ro d. Then it w s AliceFs t&rn. The &ni*or"ed " n "otioned l Iily, not p ying ttention. Alice cceler ted, edging ro&nd hi" nd he ding *or the g te. #e sho&ted so"ething t &s, b&t held his gro&nd, w ving *r ntic lly to $eep the next c r *ro" *ollowing o&r b d ex "ple. The " n t the g te wore " tching &ni*or". As we ppro ched hi", the throngs o* to&rists p ssed, crowding the sidew l$s, st ring c&rio&sly t the p&shy, *l shy ?orsche. The g& rd stepped into the "iddle o* the street. Alice ngled the c r c re*&lly be*ore she c "e to *&ll stop. The s&n be t g inst "y window, nd she w s in sh dow. She swi*tly re ched behind the se t nd gr bbed so"ething *ro" her b g. The g& rd c "e ro&nd the c r with n irrit ted expression, nd t pped on her window ngrily. She rolled the window down h l*w y, nd 8 w tched hi" do do&ble t $e when he s w the * ce behind the d r$ gl ss. L8F" sorry, only to&r b&ses llowed in the city tod y, "iss,L he s id in 0nglish, with he vy ccent. #e w s pologetic, now, s i* he wished he h d better news *or the stri$ingly be &ti*&l wo" n.
L8tFs priv te to&r,L Alice s id, *l shing n ll&ring s"ile. She re ched her h nd o&t c* the window, into the s&nlight. 8 *roIe, &ntil 8 re liIed she w s we ring n elbow6length, t n glove. She too$ his h nd, still r ised *ro" t pping her window, nd p&lled it into the c r. She p&t so"ething into his p l", nd *olded his *ingers ro&nd it. #is * ce w s d Ied s he retrieved his h nd nd st red t the thic$ roll o* "oney he now held. The o&tside bill w s tho&s nd doll r bill. L8s this Jo$eKL he "&"bled. AliceFs s"ile w s blinding. LEnly i* yo& thin$ itFs *&nny.L #e loo$ed t her, his eyes st ring wide. 8 gl nced nervo&sly t the cloc$ on the d sh. 8* 0dw rd st&c$ to his pl n, we h d only *ive "in&tes le*t. L8F" in wee bit o* h&rry,L she hinted, still s"iling. The g& rd blin$ed twice, nd then shoved the "oney inside his vest. #e too$ step w y *ro" the window nd w ved &s on. None o* the p ssing people see"ed to notice the H&iet exch nge. Alice drove into the city, nd we both sighed in relie*. The street w s very n rrow, cobbled with the s "e color stones s the * ded cinn "on brown b&ildings th t d r$ened the street with their sh de. 8t h d the *eel o* n lleyw y. Bed *l gs decor ted the w lls, sp ced only *ew y rds p rt, *l pping in the wind th t whistled thro&gh the n rrow l ne. 8t w s crowded, nd the *oot tr **ic slowed o&r progress. L7&st little * rther,L Alice enco&r ged "eG 8 w s gripping the door h ndle, re dy to throw "ysel* into the street s soon s she spo$e the word. She drove in H&ic$ sp&rts nd s&dden stops, nd the people in the crowd shoo$ their *ists t &s nd s id ngry words th t 8 w s gl d 8 co&ldnFt &nderst nd. She t&rned onto little p th th t co&ldnFt h ve been "e nt *or c rsG shoc$ed people h d to sH&eeIe into doorw ys s we scr ped by. -e *o&nd nother street t the end. The b&ildings were t ller hereG they le ned together overhe d so th t no s&nlight to&ched the p ve"ent3the thr shing red *l gs on either side ne rly "et. The crowd w s thic$er here th n nywhere else. Alice stopped the c r. 8 h d the door open be*ore we were t st ndstill. She pointed to where the street widened into p tch o* bright openness. LThere3weFre t the so&thern end o* the sH& re. B&n str ight cross, to the right o* the cloc$ tower. 8Fll *ind w y ro&nd3L #er bre th c &ght s&ddenly, nd when she spo$e g in, her voice w s hiss. LTheyFre every hereKL 8 *roIe in pl ce, b&t she p&shed "e o&t o* the c r. L/orget bo&t the". +o& h ve two "in&tes. %o, Bell , goML she sho&ted, cli"bing o&t o* the c r s she spo$e. 8 didnFt p &se to w tch Alice "elt into the sh dows. 8 didnFt stop to close "y door behind "e. 8 shoved he vy wo" n o&t o* "y w y nd r n *l t o&t, he d down, p ying little ttention to nything b&t the &neven stones bene th "y *eet.
!o"ing o&t o* the d r$ l ne, 8 w s blinded by the brilli nt s&nlight be ting down into the princip l pl I . The wind hooshed into "e, *linging "y h ir into "y eyes nd blinding "e *&rther. 8t w s no wonder th t 8 didnFt see the w ll o* *lesh &ntil 8Fd s" c$ed into it. There w s no p thw y, no crevice between the close pressed bodies. 8 p&shed g inst the" *&rio&sly, *ighting the h nds th t shoved b c$. 8 he rd excl " tions o* irrit tion nd even p in s 8 b ttled "y w y thro&gh, b&t none were in l ng& ge 8 &nderstood. The * ces were bl&r o* nger nd s&rprise, s&rro&nded by the ever6present red. A blond wo" n scowled t "e, nd the red sc r* coiled ro&nd her nec$ loo$ed li$e gr&eso"e wo&nd. A child, li*ted on " nFs sho&lders to see over the crowd, grinned down t "e, his lips distended over set o* pl stic v "pire * ngs. The throng Jostled ro&nd "e, spinning "e the wrong direction. 8 w s gl d the cloc$ w s so visible, or 8Fd never $eep "y co&rse str ight. B&t both h nds on the cloc$ pointed &p tow rd the pitiless s&n, nd, tho&gh 8 shoved vicio&sly g inst the crowd, 8 $new 8 w s too l te. 8 w snFt h l*w y cross. 8 w snFt going to " $e it. 8 w s st&pid nd slow nd h&" n, nd we were ll going to die bec &se o* it. 8 hoped Alice wo&ld get o&t. 8 hoped th t she wo&ld see "e *ro" so"e d r$ sh dow nd $now th t 8 h d * iled, so she co&ld go ho"e to 7 sper. 8 listened, bove the ngry excl " tions, trying to he r the so&nd o* discoveryO the g sp, " ybe the scre ", s 0dw rd c "e into so"eoneFs view. B&t there w s bre $ in the crowd38 co&ld see b&bble o* sp ce he d. 8 p&shed &rgently tow rd it, not re liIing till 8 br&ised "y shins g inst the bric$s th t there w s wide, sH& re *o&nt in set into the center o* the pl I . 8 w s ne rly crying with relie* s 8 *l&ng "y leg over the edge nd r n thro&gh the $nee6deep w ter. 8t spr yed ll ro&nd "e s 8 thr shed "y w y cross the pool. 0ven in the s&n, the wind w s gl ci l, nd the wet " de the cold ct& lly p in*&l. B&t the *o&nt in w s very wideG it let "e cross the center o* the sH& re nd then so"e in "ere seconds. 8 didnFt p &se when 8 hit the * r edge38 &sed the low w ll s springbo rd, throwing "ysel* into the crowd. They "oved "ore re dily *or "e now, voiding the icy w ter th t spl ttered *ro" "y dripping clothes s 8 r n. 8 gl nced &p t the cloc$ g in. A deep, boo"ing chi"e echoed thro&gh the sH& re. 8t throbbed in the stones &nder "y *eet. !hildren cried, covering their e rs. And 8 st rted scre "ing s 8 r n. L0dw rdML 8 scre "ed, $nowing it w s &seless. The crowd w s too lo&d, nd "y voice w s bre thless with exertion. B&t 8 co&ldnFt stop scre "ing. The cloc$ tolled g in. 8 r n p st child in his "otherFs r"s3his h ir w s l"ost white in the d IIling s&nlight. A circle o* t ll "en, ll we ring red bl Iers, c lled o&t w rnings s 8 b rreled thro&gh the". The cloc$ tolled g in. En the other side o* the "en in bl Iers, there w s bre $ in the throng, sp ce between the sightseers who "illed i"lessly ro&nd "e. My eyes se rched the d r$ n rrow p ss ge to the right o* the wide sH& re edi*ice &nder the tower. 8 co&ldnFt see the street level3there were still too " ny people in the w y. The cloc$ tolled g in.
8t w s h rd to see now. -itho&t the crowd to bre $ the wind, it whipped t "y * ce nd b&rned "y eyes. 8 co&ldnFt be s&re i* th t w s the re son behind "y te rs, or i* 8 w s crying in de*e t s the cloc$ tolled g in. A little * "ily o* *o&r stood ne rest to the lleyFs "o&th. The two girls wore cri"son dresses, with " tching ribbons tying their d r$ h ir b c$. The * ther w snFt t ll. 8t see"ed li$e 8 co&ld see so"ething bright in the sh dows, J&st over his sho&lder. 8 h&rtled tow rd the", trying to see p st the stinging te rs. The cloc$ tolled, nd the littlest girl cl "ped her h nds over her e rs. The older girl, J&st w ist high on her "other, h&gged her "otherFs leg nd st red into the sh dows behind the". As 8 w tched, she t&gged on her "otherFs elbow nd pointed tow rd the d r$ness. The cloc$ tolled, nd 8 w s so close now. 8 w s close eno&gh to he r her high6pitched voice. #er * ther st red t "e in s&rprise s 8 bore down on the", r sping o&t 0dw rdFs n "e over nd over g in. The older girl giggled nd s id so"ething to her "other, gest&ring tow rd the sh dows g in i"p tiently. 8 swerved ro&nd the * ther3he cl&tched the b by o&t o* "y w y3 nd sprinted *or the gloo"y bre ch behind the" s the cloc$ tolled over "y he d. L0dw rd, noML 8 scre "ed, b&t "y voice w s lost in the ro r o* the chi"e. 8 co&ld see hi" now. And 8 co&ld see th t he co&ld not see "e. 8t w s re lly hi", no h ll&cin tion this ti"e. And 8 re liIed th t "y del&sions were "ore *l wed th n 8Fd re liIedG theyFd never done hi" J&stice. 0dw rd stood, "otionless s st t&e, J&st *ew *eet *ro" the "o&th o* the lley. #is eyes were closed, the rings &nderne th the" deep p&rple, his r"s rel xed t his sides, his p l"s t&rned *orw rd. #is expression w s very pe ce*&l, li$e he w s dre "ing ple s nt things. The " rble s$in o* his chest w s b re3there w s s" ll pile o* white * bric t his *eet. The light re*lecting *ro" the p ve"ent o* the sH& re gle "ed di"ly *ro" his s$in. 8Fd never seen nything "ore be &ti*&l3even s 8 r n, g sping nd scre "ing, 8 co&ld ppreci te th t. And the l st seven "onths "e nt nothing. And his words in the *orest "e nt nothing. And it did not " tter i* he did not w nt "e. 8 wo&ld never w nt nything b&t hi", no " tter how long 8 lived. The cloc$ tolled, nd he too$ l rge stride tow rd the light. LNoML 8 scre "ed. L0dw rd, loo$ t "eML #e w snFt listening. #e s"iled very slightly. #e r ised his *oot to t $e the step th t wo&ld p&t hi" directly in the p th o* the s&n. 8 sl ""ed into hi" so h rd th t the *orce wo&ld h ve h&rled "e to the gro&nd i* his r"s h dnFt c &ght "e nd held "e &p. 8t $noc$ed "y bre th o&t o* "e nd sn pped "y he d b c$. #is d r$ eyes opened slowly s the cloc$ tolled g in.
#e loo$ed down t "e with H&iet s&rprise. LA" Iing,L he s id, his exH&isite voice *&ll o* wonder, slightly "&sed. L! rlisle w s right.L L0dw rd,L 8 tried to g sp, b&t "y voice h d no so&nd. L+o&Fve got to get b c$ into the sh dows. +o& h ve to "oveML #e see"ed be"&sed. #is h nd br&shed so*tly g inst "y chee$. #e didnFt ppe r to notice th t 8 w s trying to *orce hi" b c$. 8 co&ld h ve been p&shing g inst the lley w lls *or ll the progress 8 w s " $ing. The cloc$ tolled, b&t he didnFt re ct. 8t w s very str nge, *or 8 $new we were both in "ort l d nger. Still, in th t inst nt, 8 *elt ell. -hole. 8 co&ld *eel "y he rt r cing in "y chest, the blood p&lsing hot nd * st thro&gh "y veins g in. My l&ngs *illed deep with the sweet scent th t c "e o** his s$in. 8t w s li$e there h d never been ny hole in "y chest. 8 w s per*ect3not he led, b&t s i* there h d been no wo&nd in the *irst pl ce. L8 c nFt believe how H&ic$ it w s. 8 didnFt *eel thing3theyFre very good,L he "&sed, closing his eyes g in nd pressing his lips g inst "y h ir. #is voice w s li$e honey nd velvet. L&eath, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no po er yet upon thy beauty,L he "&r"&red, nd 8 recogniIed the line spo$en by Bo"eo in the to"b. The cloc$ boo"ed o&t its *in l chi"e L+o& s"ell J&st ex ctly the s "e s lw ys,L he went on. LSo " ybe this is hell. 8 donFt c re. 8Fll t $e it.L L8F" not de d,L 8 interr&pted. LAnd neither re yo&M ?le se 0dw rd, we h ve to "ove. They c nFt be * r w yML 8 str&ggled in his r"s, nd his brow *&rrowed in con*&sion. L-h t w s th tKL he s$ed politely. L-eFre not de d, not yetM B&t we h ve to get o&t o* here be*ore the ,olt&ri3L !o"prehension *lic$ered on his * ce s 8 spo$e. Be*ore 8 co&ld *inish, he s&ddenly y n$ed "e w y *ro" the edge o* the sh dows, spinning "e e**ortlessly so th t "y b c$ w s tight g inst the bric$ w ll, nd his b c$ w s to "e s he * ced w y into the lley. #is r"s spre d wide, protectively, in *ront o* "e. 8 pee$ed &nder his r" to see two d r$ sh pes det ch the"selves *ro" the gloo". L%reetings, gentle"en,L 0dw rdFs voice w s c l" nd ple s nt, on the s&r* ce. L8 donFt thin$ 8Fll be reH&iring yo&r services tod y. 8 wo&ld ppreci te it very "&ch, however, i* yo& wo&ld send "y th n$s to yo&r " sters.L LSh ll we t $e this convers tion to "ore ppropri te ven&eKL s"ooth voice whispered "en cingly. L8 donFt believe th t will be necess ry.L 0dw rdFs voice w s h rder now. L8 $now yo&r instr&ctions, /elix. 8 h venFt bro$en ny r&les.L
L/elix "erely "e nt to point o&t the proxi"ity o* the s&n,L the other sh dow s id in soothing tone. They were both conce led within s"o$y gr y clo $s th t re ched to the gro&nd nd &nd&l ted in the wind. LLet &s see$ better cover.L L8Fll be right behind yo&,L 0dw rd s id dryly. LBell , why donFt yo& go b c$ to the sH& re nd enJoy the *estiv lKL LNo, bring the girl,L the *irst sh dow s id, so"ehow inJecting leer into his whisper. L8 donFt thin$ so.L The pretense o* civility dis ppe red. 0dw rdFs voice w s *l t nd icy. #is weight shi*ted in*initesi" lly, nd 8 co&ld see th t he w s prep ring to *ight. LNo.L 8 "o&thed the word. LShh,L he "&r"&red, only *or "e. L/elix,L the second, "ore re son ble sh dow c &tioned. LNot here.L #e t&rned to 0dw rd. LAro wo&ld si"ply li$e to spe $ with yo& g in, i* yo& h ve decided not to *orce o&r h nd *ter ll.L L!ert inly,L 0dw rd greed. FLB&t the girl goes *ree.L L8F" *r id th tFs not possible,L the polite sh dow s id regret*&lly. L-e do h ve r&les to obey.L LThen I$m *r id th t 8Fll be &n ble to ccept AroFs invit tion, De"etri.L LTh tFs J&st *ine,L /elix p&rred. My eyes were dJ&sting to the deep sh de, nd 8 co&ld see th t /elix w s very big, t ll nd thic$ thro&gh the sho&lders. #is siIe re"inded "e o* 0""ett. LAro will be dis ppointed,L De"etri sighed. L8F" s&re heFll s&rvive the letdown,L 0dw rd replied. /elix nd De"etri stole closer tow rd the "o&th o* the lley, spre ding o&t slightly so they co&ld co"e t 0dw rd *ro" two sides. They "e nt to *orce hi" deeper into the lley, to void scene. No re*lected light *o&nd ccess to their s$inG they were s *e inside their clo $s. 0dw rd didnFt "ove n inch. #e w s doo"ing hi"sel* by protecting "e. Abr&ptly, 0dw rdFs he d whipped ro&nd, tow rd the d r$ness o* the winding lley, nd De"etri nd /elix did the s "e, in response to so"e so&nd or "ove"ent too s&btle *or "y senses. LLetFs beh ve o&rselves, sh ll weKL lilting voice s&ggested. LThere re l dies present.L Alice tripped lightly to 0dw rdFs side, her st nce c s& l. There w s no hint o* ny &nderlying tension. She loo$ed so tiny, so *r gile. #er little r"s sw&ng li$e childFs. +et De"etri nd /elix both str ightened &p, their clo $s swirling slightly s g&st o* wind *&nneled thro&gh the lley. /elixFs * ce so&red. App rently, they didnFt li$e even n&"bers. L-eFre not lone,L she re"inded the".
De"etri gl nced over his sho&lder. A *ew y rds into the sH& re, the little * "ily, with the girls in their red dresses, w s w tching &s. The "other w s spe $ing &rgently to her h&sb nd, her eyes on the *ive o* &s. She loo$ed w y when De"etri "et her g Ie. The " n w l$ed *ew steps * rther into the pl I , nd t pped one o* the red6bl Iered "en on the sho&lder. De"etri shoo$ his he d. L?le se, 0dw rd, letFs be re son ble,L he s id. LLetFs,L 0dw rd greed. LAnd weFll le ve H&ietly now, with no one the wiser.L De"etri sighed in *r&str tion. LAt le st let &s disc&ss this "ore priv tely.L Six "en in red now Joined the * "ily s they w tched &s with nxio&s expressions. 8 w s very conscio&s o* 0dw rdFs protective st nce in *ront o* "e3s&re th t this w s wh t c &sed their l r". 8 w nted to scre " to the" to r&n. 0dw rdFs teeth c "e together &dibly. LNo.L /elix s"iled. L0no&gh.L The voice w s high, reedy, nd n c "e *ro" behind &s. 8 pee$ed &nder 0dw rdFs other r" to see s" ll, d r$ sh pe co"ing tow rd &s. By the w y the edges billowed, 8 $new it wo&ld be nother one o* the". -ho elseK At *irst 8 tho&ght it w s yo&ng boy. The newco"er w s s tiny s Alice, with l n$, p le brown h ir tri""ed short. The body &nder the clo $3which w s d r$er, l"ost bl c$3w s sli" nd ndrogyno&s. B&t the * ce w s too pretty *or boy. The wide6eyed, *&ll6lipped * ce wo&ld " $e Botticelli ngel loo$ li$e g rgoyle. 0ven llowing *or the d&ll cri"son irises. #er siIe w s so insigni*ic nt th t the re ction to her ppe r nce con*&sed "e. /elix nd De"etri rel xed i""edi tely, stepping b c$ *ro" their o**ensive positions to blend g in with the sh dows o* the overh nging w lls. 0dw rd dropped his r"s nd rel xed his position s well3b&t in de*e t. L7 ne,L he sighed in recognition nd resign tion. Alice *olded her r"s cross her chest, her expression i"p ssive. L/ollow "e,L 7 ne spo$e g in, her childish voice "onotone. She t&rned her b c$ on &s nd dri*ted silently into the d r$. /elix gest&red *or &s to go *irst, s"ir$ing. Alice w l$ed *ter the little 7 ne t once. 0dw rd wr pped his r" ro&nd "y w ist nd p&lled "e long beside her. The lley ngled slightly downw rd s it n rrowed. 8 loo$ed &p t hi" with *r ntic H&estions in "y eyes, b&t he J&st shoo$ his he d. Tho&gh 8 co&ldnFt he r the others behind &s, 8 w s s&re they were there.
L-ell, Alice,L 0dw rd s id convers tion lly s we w l$ed. L8 s&ppose 8 sho&ldnFt be s&rprised to see yo& here.L L8t w s "y "ist $e,L Alice nswered in the s "e tone. L8t w s "y Job to set it right.L L-h t h ppenedKL #is voice w s polite, s i* he were b rely interested. 8 i" gined this w s d&e to the listening e rs behind &s. L8tFs long story.L AliceFs eyes *lic$ered tow rd "e nd w y. L8n s&"" ry, she did J&"p o** cli**, b&t she w snFt trying to $ill hersel*. Bell Fs ll bo&t the extre"e sports these d ys.L 8 *l&shed nd t&rned "y eyes str ight he d, loo$ing *ter the d r$ sh dow th t 8 co&ld no longer see. 8 co&ld i" gine wh t he w s he ring in AliceFs tho&ghts now. Ne r6drownings, st l$ing v "pires, werewol* *riendsN L#",L 0dw rd s id c&rtly, nd the c s& l tone o* his voice w s gone. There w s loose c&rve to the lley, still sl nting downw rd, so 8 didnFt see the sH& red6o** de d end co"ing &ntil we re ched the *l t, windowless, bric$ * ce. The little one c lled 7 ne w s nowhere to be seen. Alice didnFt hesit te, didnFt bre $ p ce s she strode tow rd the w ll. Then, with e sy gr ce, she slid down n open hole in the street. 8t loo$ed li$e dr in, s&n$ into the lowest point o* the p ving. 8 h dnFt noticed it &ntil Alice dis ppe red, b&t the gr te w s h l*w y p&shed side. The hole w s s" ll, nd bl c$. 8 b l$ed. L8tFs ll right, Bell ,L 0dw rd s id in low voice. LAlice will c tch yo&.L 8 eyed the hole do&bt*&lly. 8 i" gine he wo&ld h ve gone *irst, i* De"etri nd /elix h dnFt been w iting, s"&g nd silent, behind &s. 8 cro&ched down, swinging "y legs into the n rrow g p. LAliceKL 8 whispered, voice tre"bling. L8F" right here, Bell ,L she re ss&red "e. #er voice c "e *ro" too * r below to " $e "e *eel better. 0dw rd too$ "y wrists3his h nds *elt li$e stones in winter3 nd lowered "e into the bl c$ness. LBe dyKL he s$ed. LDrop her,L Alice c lled. 8 closed "y eyes so 8 co&ldnFt see the d r$ness, scr&nching the" together in terror, cl "ping "y "o&th sh&t so 8 wo&ldnFt scre ". 0dw rd let "e * ll.
8t w s silent nd short. The ir whipped p st "e *or J&st h l* second, nd then, with h&** s 8 exh led, AliceFs w iting r"s c &ght "e. 8 w s going to h ve br&isesG her r"s were very h rd. She stood "e &pright. 8t w s di", b&t not bl c$ t the botto". The light *ro" the hole bove provided * int glow, re*lecting wetly *ro" the stones &nder "y *eet. The light v nished *or second, nd then 0dw rd w s * int, white r di nce beside "e. #e p&t his r" ro&nd "e, holding "e close to his side, nd beg n to tow "e swi*tly *orw rd. 8 wr pped both r"s ro&nd his cold w ist, nd tripped nd st&"bled "y w y cross the &neven stone s&r* ce. The so&nd o* the he vy gr te sliding over the dr in hole behind &s r ng with "et llic *in lity. The di" light *ro" the street w s H&ic$ly lost in the gloo". The so&nd o* "y st ggering *ootsteps echoed thro&gh the bl c$ sp ceG it so&nded very wide, b&t 8 co&ldnFt be s&re. There were no so&nds other th n "y *r ntic he rtbe t nd "y *eet on the wet stones3except *or once, when n i"p tient sigh whispered *ro" behind "e. 0dw rd held "e tightly. #e re ched his *ree h nd cross his body to hold "y * ce, too, his s"ooth th&"b tr cing cross "y lips. Now nd then, 8 *elt his * ce press into "y h ir. 8 re liIed th t this w s the only re&nion we wo&ld get, nd 8 cl&tched "ysel* closer to hi". /or now, it *elt li$e he w nted "e, nd th t w s eno&gh to o**set the horror o* the s&bterr ne n t&nnel nd the prowling v "pires behind &s. 8t w s prob bly no "ore th n g&ilt3the s "e g&ilt th t co"pelled hi" to co"e here to die when heFd believed th t it w s his * &lt th t 8Fd $illed "ysel*. B&t 8 *elt his lips press silently g inst "y *orehe d, nd 8 didnFt c re wh t the "otiv tion w s. At le st 8 co&ld be with hi" g in be*ore 8 died. Th t w s better th n long li*e. 8 wished 8 co&ld s$ hi" ex ctly wh t w s going to h ppen now. 8 w nted desper tely to $now how we were going to die3 s i* th t wo&ld so"ehow " $e it better, $nowing in dv nce. B&t 8 co&ldnFt spe $, even in whisper, s&rro&nded s we were. The others co&ld he r everything3"y every bre th, "y every he rtbe t. The p th bene th o&r *eet contin&ed to sl nt downw rd, t $ing &s deeper into the gro&nd, nd it " de "e cl &strophobic. Enly 0dw rdFs h nd, soothing g inst "y * ce, $ept "e *ro" scre "ing o&t lo&d. 8 co&ldnFt tell where the light w s co"ing *ro", b&t it slowly t&rned d r$ gr y inste d o* bl c$. -e were in low, rched t&nnel. Long tr ils o* ebony "oist&re seeped down the gr y stones, li$e they were bleeding in$. 8 w s sh $ing, nd 8 tho&ght it w s *ro" *e r. 8t w snFt &ntil "y teeth st rted to ch tter together th t 8 re liIed 8 w s cold. My clothes were still wet, nd the te"per t&re &nderne th the city w s wintry. As w s 0dw rdFs s$in. #e re liIed this t the s "e ti"e 8 did, nd let go o* "e, $eeping only "y h nd. LN6n6no,L 8 ch ttered, throwing "y r"s ro&nd hi". 8 didnFt c re i* 8 *roIe. -ho $new how long we h d le*tK #is cold h nd ch *ed g inst "y r", trying to w r" "e with the *riction.
-e h&rried thro&gh the t&nnel, or it *elt li$e h&rrying to "e. My slow progress irrit ted so"eone 38 g&essed /elix3 nd 8 he rd hi" he ve sigh now nd then. At the end o* the t&nnel w s gr te3the iron b rs were r&sting, b&t thic$ s "y r". A s" ll door " de o* thinner, interl ced b rs w s st nding open. 0dw rd d&c$ed thro&gh nd h&rried on to l rger, brighter stone roo". The grille sl ""ed sh&t with clang, *ollowed by the sn p o* loc$. 8 w s too *r id to loo$ behind "e. En the other side o* the long roo" w s low, he vy wooden door. 8t w s very thic$3 s 8 co&ld tell bec &se it, too, stood open. -e stepped thro&gh the door, nd 8 gl nced ro&nd "e in s&rprise, rel xing &to" tic lly. Beside "e, 0dw rd tensed, his J w clenched tight.
21 VERDICT
-0 -0B0 8N A BB8%#TL+ L8T, 'NB0MABCABL0 #ALL-A+. The w lls were o**6 white, the *loor c rpeted in ind&stri l gr y. !o""on rect ng&l r *l&orescent lights were sp ced evenly long the ceiling. 8t w s w r"er here, *or which 8 w s gr te*&l. This h ll see"ed very benign *ter the gloo" o* the gho&lish stone sewers. 0dw rd didnFt see" to gree with "y ssess"ent. #e glowered d r$ly down the long h llw y, tow rd the slight, bl c$ shro&ded *ig&re t the end, st nding by n elev tor. #e p&lled "e long, nd Alice w l$ed on "y other side. The he vy door cre $ed sh&t behind &s, nd then there w s the th&d o* bolt sliding ho"e. 7 ne w ited by the elev tor, one h nd holding the doors open *or &s. #er expression w s p thetic. Ence inside the elev tor, the three v "pires th t belonged to the ,olt&ri rel xed *&rther. They threw b c$ their clo $s, letting the hoods * ll b c$ on their sho&lders. /elix nd De"etri were both o* slightly olive co"plexion3it loo$ed odd co"bined with their ch l$y p llor. /elixFs bl c$ h ir w s cropped short, b&t De"etriFs w ved to his sho&lders. Their irises were deep cri"son ro&nd the edges, d r$ening &ntil they were bl c$ ro&nd the p&pil. 'nder the shro&ds, their clothes were "odern, p le, nd nondescript. 8 cowered in the corner, cringing g inst 0dw rd. #is h nd still r&bbed g inst "y r". #e never too$ his eyes o** 7 ne. The elev tor ride w s shortG we stepped o&t into wh t loo$ed li$e posh o**ice reception re . The w lls were p neled in wood, the *loors c rpeted in thic$, deep green. There were no windows, b&t l rge, brightly lit p intings o* the T&sc n co&ntryside h&ng everywhere s repl ce"ents. ? le le ther co&ches were rr nged in coIy gro&pings, nd the glossy t bles held cryst l v ses *&ll o* vibr ntly colored bo&H&ets. The *lowersF s"ell re"inded "e o* *&ner l ho"e.
8n the "iddle o* the roo" w s high, polished " hog ny co&nter. 8 g w$ed in stonish"ent t the wo" n behind it. She w s t ll, with d r$ s$in nd green eyes. She wo&ld h ve been very pretty in ny other co"p ny3b&t not here. Bec &se she w s every bit s h&" n s 8 w s. 8 co&ldnFt co"prehend wh t this h&" n wo" n w s doing here, tot lly t e se, s&rro&nded by v "pnes. She s"iled politely in welco"e. L%ood *ternoon, 7 ne,L she s id. There w s no s&rprise in her * ce s she gl nced t 7 neFs co"p ny. Not 0dw rd, his b re chest glinting di"ly in the white lights, or even "e, disheveled nd co"p r tively hideo&s. 7 ne nodded. L%i nn .L She contin&ed tow rd set o* do&ble doors in the b c$ o* the roo", nd we *ollowed. As /elix p ssed the des$, he win$ed t %i nn , nd she giggled. En the other side o* the wooden doors w s di**erent $ind o* reception. The p le boy in the pe rl gr y s&it co&ld h ve been 7 neFs twin. #is h ir w s d r$er, nd his lips were not s *&ll, b&t he w s J&st s lovely. #e c "e *orw rd to "eet &s. #e s"iled, re ching *or her. L7 ne.L LAlec,L she responded, e"br cing the boy. They $issed e ch otherFs chee$s on both sides. Then he loo$ed t &s. LThey send yo& o&t *or one nd yo& co"e b c$ with twoN nd h l*,L he noted, loo$ing t "e. LNice wor$.L She l &ghed3the so&nd sp r$led with delight li$e b byFs cooing. L-elco"e b c$, 0dw rd,L Alec greeted hi". L+o& see" in better "ood.L LM rgin lly,L 0dw rd greed in *l t voice. 8 gl nced t 0dw rdFs h rd * ce, nd wondered how his "ood co&ld h ve been d r$er be*ore. Alec ch&c$led, nd ex "ined "e s 8 cl&ng to 0dw rdFs side. LAnd this is the c &se o* ll the tro&bleKL he s$ed, s$eptic l. 0dw rd only s"iled, his expression conte"pt&o&s. Then he *roIe. LDibs,L /elix c lled c s& lly *ro" behind. 0dw rd t&rned, low sn rl b&ilding deep in his chest. /elix s"iled3his h nd w s r ised, p l" &pG he c&rled his *ingers twice, inviting 0dw rd *orw rd. Alice to&ched 0dw rdFs r". L? tience,L she c &tioned hi". They exch nged long gl nce, nd 8 wished 8 co&ld he r wh t she w s telling hi". 8 *ig&red th t it w s so"ething to do with not tt c$ing /elix, bec &se 0dw rd too$ deep bre th nd t&rned b c$ to Alec. LAro will be so ple sed to see yo& g in,L Alec s id, s i* nothing h d p ssed. LLetFs not $eep hi" w iting,L 7 ne s&ggested.
0dw rd nodded once. Alec nd 7 ne, holding h nds, led the w y down yet nother wide, orn te h ll3wo&ld there ever be n endK They ignored the doors t the end o* the h ll3doors entirely she thed in gold3stopping h l*w y down the h ll nd sliding side piece o* the p neling to expose pl in wooden door. 8t w snFt loc$ed. Alec held it open *or 7 ne. 8 w nted to gro n when 0dw rd p&lled "e thro&gh to the other side o* the door. 8t w s the s "e ncient stone s the sH& re, the lley, nd the sewers. And it w s d r$ nd cold g in. The stone ntech "ber w s not l rge. 8t opened H&ic$ly into brighter, c verno&s roo", per*ectly ro&nd li$e h&ge c stle t&rretN which w s prob bly ex ctly wh t it w s. Two stories &p, long window slits threw thin rect ngles o* bright s&nlight onto the stone *loor below. There were no rti*ici l lights. The only *&rnit&re in the roo" were sever l " ssive wooden ch irs, li$e thrones, th t were sp ced &nevenly, *l&sh with the c&rving stone w lls. 8n the very center o* the circle, in slight depression, w s nother dr in. 8 wondered i* they &sed it s n exit, li$e the hole in the street. The roo" w s not e"pty. A h nd*&l o* people were convened in see"ingly rel xed convers tion. The "&r"&r o* low, s"ooth voices w s gentle h&" in the ir. As 8 w tched, p ir o* p le wo"en in s&""er dresses p &sed in p tch o* light, nd, li$e pris"s, their s$in threw the light in r inbow sp r$les g inst the sienn w lls. The exH&isite * ces ll t&rned tow rd o&r p rty s we entered the roo". Most o* the i""ort ls were dressed in inconspic&o&s p nts nd shirts3things th t wo&ldnFt stic$ o&t t ll on the streets below. B&t the " n who spo$e *irst wore one o* the long robes. 8t w s pitch6bl c$, nd br&shed g inst the *loor. /or "o"ent, 8 tho&ght his long, Jet6bl c$ h ir w s the hood o* his clo $. L7 ne, de r one, yo&Fve ret&rnedML he cried in evident delight. #is voice w s J&st so*t sighing. #e dri*ted *orw rd, nd the "ove"ent *lowed with s&ch s&rre l gr ce th t 8 g w$ed, "y "o&th h ng"g open. 0ven Alice, whose every "otion loo$ed li$e d ncing, co&ld not co"p re. 8 w s only "ore stonished s he *lo ted closer nd 8 co&ld see his * ce. 8t w s not li$e the &nn t&r lly ttr ctive * ces th t s&rro&nded hi" =*or he did not ppro ch &s loneG the entire gro&p converged ro&nd hi", so"e *ollowing, nd so"e w l$ing he d o* hi" with the lert " nner o* bodyg& rds5. 8 co&ldnFt decide i* his * ce w s be &ti*&l or not. 8 s&ppose the *e t&res were per*ect. B&t he w s s di**erent *ro" the v "pires beside hi" s they were *ro" "e. #is s$in w s tr nsl&cently white, li$e onions$in, nd it loo$ed J&st s delic te3it stood in shoc$ing contr st to the long bl c$ h ir th t *r "ed his * ce. 8 *elt str nge, horri*ying &rge to to&ch his chee$, to see i* it w s so*ter th n 0dw rdFs or AliceFs, or i* it w s powdery, li$e ch l$. #is eyes were red, the s "e s the others ro&nd hi", b&t the color w s clo&ded, "il$yG 8 wondered i* his vision w s **ected by the h Ie. #e glided to 7 ne, too$ her * ce in his p pery h nds, $issed her lightly on her *&ll lips, nd then *lo ted b c$ step. L+es, M ster.L 7 ne s"iledG the expression " de her loo$ li$e n ngelic child. L8 bro&ght hi" b c$ live, J&st s yo& wished.L
LAh, 7 ne.L #e s"iled, too. L+o& re s&ch co"*ort to "e.L #e t&rned his "isty eyes tow rd &s, nd the s"ile brightened3bec "e ecst tic. LAnd Alice nd Bell , tooML he reJoiced, cl pping his thin h nds together. LThis is h ppy s&rpriseM -onder*&lML 8 st red in shoc$ s he c lled o&r n "es in*or" lly, s i* we were old *riends dropping in *or n &nexpected visit. #e t&rned to o&r h&l$ing escort. L/elix, be de r nd tell "y brothers bo&t o&r co"p ny. 8F" s&re they wo&ldnFt w nt to "iss this.L L+es, M ster.L /elix nodded nd dis ppe red b c$ the w y we h d co"e. L+o& see, 0dw rdKL The str nge v "pire t&rned nd s"iled t 0dw rd li$e *ond b&t scolding gr nd* ther. L-h t did 8 tell yo&K ArenFt yo& gl d th t 8 didnFt give yo& wh t yo& w nted yesterd yKL L+es, Aro, 8 ",L he greed, tightening his r" ro&nd "y w ist. L8 love h ppy ending.L Aro sighed. LThey re so r re. B&t 8 w nt the whole story. #ow did this h ppenK AliceKL #e t&rned to g Ie t Alice with c&rio&s, "isty eyes. L+o&r brother see"ed to thin$ yo& in* llible, b&t pp rently there w s so"e "ist $e.L LEh, 8F" * r *ro" in* llible.L She *l shed d IIling s"ile. She loo$ed per*ectly t e se, except th t her h nds were b lled into tight little *ists. LAs yo& c n see tod y, 8 c &se proble"s s o*ten s 8 c&re the".L L+o&Fre too "odest,L Aro chided. L8Fve seen so"e o* yo&r "ore " Iing exploits, nd 8 "&st d"it 8Fve never observed nything li$e yo&r t lent. -onder*&lML Alice *lic$ered gl nce t 0dw rd. Aro did not "iss it. L8F" sorry, we h venFt been introd&ced properly t ll, h ve weK 8tFs J&st th t 8 *eel li$e 8 $now yo& lre dy, nd 8 tend get he d o* "ysel*. +o&r brother introd&ced &s yesterd y, in pec&li r w y. +o& see, 8 sh re so"e o* yo&r brotherFs t lent, only 8 " li"ited in w y th t he is not.L Aro shoo$ his he dG his tone w s envio&s. LAnd lso exponenti lly "ore power*&l,L 0dw rd dded dryly. #e loo$ed t Alice s he swi*tly expl ined. LAro needs physic l cont ct to he r yo&r tho&ghts, b&t he he rs "&ch "ore th n 8 do. +o& $now 8 c n only he r wh tFs p ssing thro&gh yo&r he d in the "o"ent. Aro he rs every tho&ght yo&r "ind h s ever h d.L Alice r ised her delic te eyebrows, nd 0dw rd inclined his he d. Aro didnFt "iss th t either. LB&t to be ble to he r *ro" dist nceNL Aro sighed, gest&ring tow rd the two o* the", nd the exch nge th t h d J&st t $en pl ce. LTh t wo&ld be so convenient.L
Aro loo$ed over o&r sho&lders. All the other he ds t&rned in the s "e direction, incl&ding 7 ne, Alec, nd De"etri, who stood silently beside &s. 8 w s the slowest to t&rn. /elix w s b c$, nd behind hi" *lo ted two "ore bl c$6robed "en. Both loo$ed very "&ch li$e Aro, one even h d the s "e *lowing bl c$ h ir. The other h d shoc$ o* snow6white h ir3the s "e sh de s his * ce3th t br&shed g inst his sho&lders. Their * ces h d identic l, p per6thin s$in. The trio *ro" ! rlisleFs p inting w s co"plete, &nch nged by the l st three h&ndred ye rs since it w s p inted. LM rc&s, ! i&s, loo$ML Aro crooned. LBell is live *ter ll, nd Alice is here with herM 8snFt th t wonder*&lKL Neither o* the other two loo$ed s i* onderful wo&ld be their *irst choice o* words. The d r$6 h ired " n see"ed &tterly bored, li$e heFd seen too " ny "illenni o* AroFs enth&si s". The otherFs hice w s so&r &nder the snowy h ir. Their l c$ o* interest did not c&rb AroFs enJoy"ent. LLet &s h ve the story,L Aro l"ost s ng in his *e thery voice. The white6h ired ncient v "pire dri*ted w y, gliding tow rd one o* the wooden thrones. The other p &sed beside Aro, nd he re ched his h nd o&t, t *irst 8 tho&ght to t $e AroFs h nd. B&t he J&st to&ched AroFs p l" brie*ly nd then dropped his h nd to his side. Aro r ised one bl c$ brow. 8 wondered how his p pery s$in did not cr&"ple in the e**ort. 0dw rd snorted very H&ietly, nd Alice loo$ed t hi", c&rio&s. LTh n$ yo&, M rc&s,L Aro s id. LTh tFs H&ite interesting.L 8 re liIed, second l te, th t M rc&s w s letting Aro $now his tho&ghts. M rc&s didnFt look interested. #e glided w y *ro" Aro to Join the one who "&st be ! i&s, se ted g inst the w ll. Two o* the ttending v "pires *ollowed silently behind hi"3 bodyg& rds, li$e 8Fd tho&ght be*ore. 8 co&ld see th t the two wo"en in the s&ndresses h d gone to st nd beside ! i&s in the s "e " nner. The ide o* ny v "pire needing g& rd w s * intly ridic&lo&s to "e, b&t " ybe the ncient ones were s *r il s their s$in s&ggested. Aro w s sh $ing his he d. LA" Iing,LF he s id. LAbsol&tely " Iing.L AliceFs expression w s *r&str ted. 0dw rd t&rned to her nd expl ined g in in swi*t, low voice. LM rc&s sees rel tionships. #eFs s&rprised by the intensity o* o&rs.L Aro s"iled. LSo convenient,L he repe ted to hi"sel*. Then he spo$e to &s. L8t t $es H&ite bit to s&rprise M rc&s, 8 c n ss&re yo&.L 8 loo$ed t M rc&sFs de d * ce, nd 8 believed th t. L8tFs J&st so di**ic&lt to &nderst nd, even now,L Aro "&sed, st ring t 0dw rdFs r" wr pped ro&nd "e. 8t w s h rd *or "e to *ollow AroFs ch otic tr in o* tho&ght. 8 str&ggled to $eep &p. L#ow c n yo& st nd so close to het li$e th tKL
L8tFs not witho&t e**ort,L 0dw rd nswered c l"ly. LB&t still3la tua cantanteM -h t w steML 0dw rd ch&c$led once witho&t h&"or. L8 loo$ t it "ore s price.L Aro w s s$eptic l. LA very high price.L LEpport&nity cost.L Aro l &ghed. L8* 8 h dnFt s"elled her thro&gh yo&r "e"ories, 8 wo&ldnFt h ve believed the c ll o* nyoneFs blood co&ld be so strong. 8Fve never *elt nything li$e it "ysel*. Most o* &s wo&ld tr de "&ch *or s&ch gi*t, nd yet yo&NL L- ste it,L 0dw rd *inished, his voice s rc stic now. Aro l &ghed g in. LAh, how 8 "iss "y *riend ! rlisleM +o& re"ind "e o* hi"3only he w s not so ngry.L L! rlisle o&tshines "e in " ny other w ys s well.L L8 cert inly never tho&ght to see ! rlisle bested *or sel*6control o* ll things, b&t yo& p&t hi" to sh "e.L L# rdly.L 0dw rd so&nded i"p tient. As i* he were tired o* the preli"in ries. 8t " de "e "ore *r idG 8 co&ldnFt help b&t try to i" gine wh t he expected wo&ld *ollow. L8 " gr ti*ied by his s&ccess,L Aro "&sed. L+o&r "e"ories o* hi" re H&ite gi*t *or "e, tho&gh they stonish "e exceedingly. 8 " s&rprised by how itN pleases "e, his s&ccess in this &northodox p th heFs chosen. 8 expected th t he wo&ld w ste, we $en with ti"e. 8Fd sco**ed t his pl n to *ind others who wo&ld sh re his pec&li r vision. +et, so"ehow, 8F" h ppy to be wrong.L 0dw rd didnFt reply. LB&t your restr intML Aro sighed. L8 did not $now s&ch strength w s possible. To in&re yo&rsel* g inst s&ch siren c ll, not J&st once b&t g in nd g in3i* 8 h d not *elt it "ysel*, 8 wo&ld not h ve believed.L 0dw rd g Ied b c$ t AroFs d"ir tion with no expression. 8 $new his * ce well eno&gh3ti"e h d not ch nged th t3to g&ess t so"ething seething bene th the s&r* ce. 8 *o&ght to $eep "y bre thing even. L7&st re"e"bering how she ppe ls to yo&NL Aro ch&c$led. L8t " $es "e thirsty.L 0dw rd tensed. LDonFt be dist&rbed,L Aro re ss&red hi". L8 "e n her no h r". B&t 8 " so c&rio&s, bo&t one thing in p rtic&l r.L #e eyed "e with bright interest. LM y 8KL he s$ed e gerly, li*ting one h nd. LAs$ her,L 0dw rd s&ggested in *l t voice.
LE* co&rse, how r&de o* "eML Aro excl i"ed. LBell ,L he ddressed "e directly now. L8F" * scin ted th t yo& re the one exception to 0dw rdFs i"pressive t lent3so very interesting th t s&ch thing sho&ld occ&rM And 8 w s wondering, since o&r t lents re si"il r in " ny w ys, i* yo& wo&ld be so $ind s to llow "e to try3to see i* yo& re n exception *or me, s wellKL My eyes *l shed &p to 0dw rdFs * ce in terror. Despite AroFs overt politeness, 8 didnFt believe 8 re lly h d choice. 8 w s horri*ied t the tho&ght o* llowing hi" to to&ch "e, nd yet lso perversely intrig&ed by the ch nce to *eel his str nge s$in. 0dw rd nodded in enco&r ge"ent3whether bec &se he w s s&re Aro wo&ld not h&rt "e, or bec &se there w s no choice, 8 co&ldnFt tell. 8 t&rned b c$ to Aro nd r ised "y h nd slowly in *ront o* "e. 8t w s tre"bling. #e glided closer, nd 8 believe he "e nt his expression to be re ss&ring. B&t his p pery *e t&res were too str nge, too lien nd *rightening, to re ss&re. The loo$ on his * ce w s "ore con*ident th n his words h d been. Aro re ched o&t, s i* to sh $e "y h nd, nd pressed his ins&bst nti l6loo$ing s$in g inst "ine. 8t w s h rd, b&t *elt brittle3sh le r ther th n gr nite3 nd even colder th n 8 expected. #is *il"y eyes s"iled down t "ine, nd it w s i"possible to loo$ w y. They were "es"eriIing in n odd, &nple s nt w y. AroFs * ce ltered s 8 w tched. The con*idence w vered nd bec "e *irst do&bt, then incred&lity be*ore he c l"ed it into *riendly " s$. LSo very interesting,L he s id s he rele sed "y h nd nd dri*ted b c$. My eyes *lic$ered to 0dw rd, nd, tho&gh his * ce w s co"posed, 8 tho&ght he see"ed little s"&g. Aro contin&ed to dri*t wnh tho&ght*&l expression. #e w s H&iet *or "o"ent, his eyes *lic$ering between the three o* &s. Then, br&ptly, he shoo$ his he d. LA *irst,L he s id to hi"sel* L8 wonder i* she is i""&ne to o&r other t lentsN 7 ne, de rKL LNoML 0dw rd sn rled the word. Alice gr bbed his r" with restr ining h nd. #e shoo$ her o**. Little 7 ne s"iled &p h ppily t Aro. L+es, M sterKL 0dw rd w s tr&ly sn rling now, the so&nd ripping nd te ring *ro" hi", gl ring t Aro with b le*&l eyes. The roo" h d gone still, everyone w tching hi" with " Ied disbelie*, s i* he were co""itting so"e e"b rr ssing soci l * &x p s. 8 s w /elix grin hope*&lly nd "ove step *orw rd. Aro gl nced t hi" once, nd he *roIe in pl ce, his grin t&rning to s&l$y expression. Then he spo$e to 7 ne. L8 w s wondering, "y de r one, i* Bell is i""&ne to you.L 8 co&ld b rely he r Aro over 0dw rdFs *&rio&s growls. #e let go o* "e, "oving to hide "e *ro" their view. ! i&s ghosted in o&r direction, with his ento&r ge, to w tch. 7 ne t&rned tow rd &s with be ti*ic s"ile.
LDonFtML Alice cried s 0dw rd l &nched hi"sel* t the little girl. Be*ore 8 co&ld re ct, be*ore nyone co&ld J&"p between the", be*ore AroFs bodyg& rds co&ld tense, 0dw rd w s on the gro&nd. No one h d to&ched hi", b&t he w s on the stone *loor writhing in obvio&s gony, while 8 st red in horror. 7 ne w s s"iling only t hi" now, nd it ll clic$ed together. -h t Alice h d s id bo&t formidable gifts, why everyone tre ted 7 ne with s&ch de*erence, nd why 0dw rd h d thrown hi"sel* in her p th be*ore she co&ld do th t to "e. LStopML 8 shrie$ed, "y voice echoing in the silence, J&"ping *orw rd to p&t "ysel* between the". B&t Alice threw her r"s ro&nd "e in n &nbre $ ble gr sp nd ignored "y str&ggles. No so&nd esc ped 0dw rdFs lips s he cringed g inst the stones. 8t *elt li$e "y he d wo&ld explode *ro" the p in o* w tching this. L7 ne,L Aro rec lled her in tr nH&il voice. She loo$ed &p H&ic$ly, still s"iling with ple s&re, her eyes H&estioning. As soon s 7 ne loo$ed w y, 0dw rd w s still. Aro inclined his he d tow rd "e. 7 ne t&rned her s"ile in "y direction. 8 didnFt even "eet her g Ie. 8 w tched 0dw rd *ro" the prison o* AliceFs r"s, still str&ggling pointlessly. L#eFs *ine,L Alice whispered in tight voice. As she spo$e, he s t &p, nd then spr ng lightly to his *eet. #is eyes "et "ine, nd they were horror6str&c$. At *irst 8 tho&ght the horror w s *or wh t he h d J&st s&**ered. B&t then he loo$ed H&ic$ly t 7 ne, nd b c$ to "e3 nd his * ce rel xed into relie*. 8 loo$ed t 7 ne, too, nd she no longer s"iled. She gl red t "e, her J w clenched with the intensity o* her *oc&s. 8 shr n$ b c$, w iting *or the p in. Nothing h ppened. 0dw rd w s by "y side g in. #e to&ched AliceFs r", nd she s&rrendered "e to hi". Aro st rted to l &gh. L# , h . h ,L he ch&c$led. LThis is wonder*&lML 7 ne hissed in *r&str tion, le ning *orw rd li$e she w s prep ring to spring. LDonFt be p&t o&t, de r one,L Aro s id in co"*orting tone, pl cing powder6light h nd on her sho&lder. LShe con*o&nds &s ll.L 7 neFs &pper lip c&rled b c$ ever her teeth s she contin&ed to gl re t "e. L# , h , h ,L Aro chortled g in. L+o&Fre very br ve, 0dw rd, to end&re in silence. 8 s$ed 7 ne to do th t to "e once3J&st o&t o* c&riosity.L #e shoo$ his he d in d"ir tion. 0dw rd gl red, disg&sted.
LSo wh t do we do with yo& nowKL Aro sighed. 0dw rd nd Alice sti**ened. This w s the p rt theyFd been w iting *or. 8 beg n to tre"ble. L8 donFt s&ppose thereFs ny ch nce th t yo&Fve ch nged yo&r "indKL Aro s$ed 0dw rd hope*&lly. L+o&r t lent wo&ld be n excellent ddition to o&r little co"p ny.L 0dw rd hesit ted. /ro" the corner o* "y eye, 8 s w both /elix nd 7 ne gri" ce. 0dw rd see"ed to weigh e ch word be*ore he spo$e it. L8FdN r therN not.L LAliceKL Aro s$ed, still hope*&l. L-o&ld yo& perh ps be interested in Joining with &sKL LNo, th n$ yo&,L Alice s id. LAnd yo&, Bell KL Aro r ised his eyebrows. 0dw rd hissed, low in "y e rs. 8 st red t Aro bl n$ly. - s he Jo$ingK Er w s he re lly s$ing "e i* 8 w nted to st y *or dinnerK 8t w s the white6h ired ! i&s who bro$e the silence. L-h tKL he de" nded o* AroG his voice, tho&gh no "ore th n whisper, w s *l t. L! i&s, s&rely yo& see the potenti l,L Aro chided hi" **ection tely. L8 h venFt seen prospective t lent so pro"ising since we *o&nd 7 ne nd Alec. ! n yo& i" gine the possibilities when she is one o* &sKL ! i&s loo$ed w y with c &stic expression. 7 neFs eyes sp r$ed with indign tion t the co"p rison. 0dw rd *&"ed beside "e. 8 co&ld he r r&"ble in his chest, b&ilding tow rd growl. 8 co&ldnFt let his te"per get hi" h&rt. LNo, th n$ yo&,L 8 spo$e &p in b rely "ore th n whisper, "y voice bre $ing in *right. Aro sighed. LTh tFs &n*ort&n te. S&ch w ste.L 0dw rd hissed. L7oin or die, is th t itK 8 s&spected s "&ch when we were bro&ght to this roo". So "&ch *or yo&r l ws.L The tone o* his voice s&rprised "e. #e so&nded ir te, b&t there w s so"ething deliber te bo&t his delivery3 s i* heFd chosen his words with gre t c re. LE* co&rse not.L Aro blin$ed, stonished. L-e were lre dy convened here, 0dw rd, w iting #eidiFs ret&rn. Not *or yo&.L LAro,L ! i&s hissed. LThe l w cl i"s the".L 0dw rd gl red t ! i&s. L#ow soKL he de" nded. #e "&st h ve $nown wh t ! i&s w s thin$ing, b&t he see"ed deter"ined to " $e hi" spe $ it lo&d.
! i&s pointed s$elet l *inger t "e. LShe $nows too "&ch. +o& h ve exposed o&r secrets.L #is voice w s p pery thin, J&st li$e his s$in. LThere re *ew h&" ns in on yo&r ch r de here, s well,L 0dw rd re"inded hi", nd 8 tho&ght o* the pretty receptionist below. ! i&sFs * ce twisted into new expression. - s it s&pposed to be s"iled. L+es,L he greed. LB&t when they re no longer &se*&l to &s, they will serve to s&st in &s. Th t is not yo&r pl n *or this one. 8* she betr ys o&r secrets, re yo& prep red to destroy herK 8 thin$ not,L he sco**ed. L8 wo&ldnFt3,L 8 beg n, still whispering. ! i&s silenced "e with n icy loo$. LNor do yo& intend to " $e her one o* &s,L ! i&s contin&ed. LThere*ore, she is v&lner bility. Tho&gh it is tr&e, *or this, only her li*e is *or*eit. +o& " y le ve i* yo& wish.L 0dw rd b red his teeth. LTh tFs wh t 8 tho&ght,L ! i&s s id, with so"ething $in to ple s&re. /elix le ned *orw rd, e ger. L'nlessNL Aro interr&pted. #e loo$ed &nh ppy with the w y the convers tion h d gone. L'nless yo& do intend to give her i""ort lityKL 0dw rd p&rsed his lips, hesit ting *or "o"ent be*ore he nswered. LAnd i* 8 doKL Aro s"iled, h ppy g in. L-hy, then yo& wo&ld be *ree to go ho"e nd give "y reg rds to "y *riend ! rlisle.L #is expression t&rned "ore hesit nt. LB&t 8F" *r id yo& wo&ld h ve to "e n it.L Aro r ised his h nd in *ront o* hi". ! i&s, who h d beg&n to scowl *&rio&sly, rel xed. 0dw rdFs lips tightened into *ierce line. #e st red into "y eyes, nd 8 st red b c$. LMe n it,L 8 whispered. L?le se.L - s it re lly s&ch lo thso"e ide K -o&ld he r ther die th n ch nge "eK 8 *elt li$e 8Fd been $ic$ed in the sto" ch. 0dw rd st red down t "e with tort&red expression. And then Alice stepped w y *ro" &s, *orw rd tow rd Aro. -e t&rned to w tch her. #er h nd w s r ised li$e his. She didnFt s y nything, nd Aro w ved o** his nxio&s g& rd s they "oved to bloc$ her ppro ch. Aro "et her h l*w y, nd too$ her h nd with n e ger, cH&isitive glint in his eyes. #e bent his he d over their to&ching h nds, his eyes closing s he concentr ted. Alice w s "otionless, her * ce bl n$. 8 he rd 0dw rdFs teeth sn p together.
No one "oved. Aro see"ed *roIen over AliceFs h nd. The seconds p ssed nd 8 grew "ore nd "ore stressed, wondering how "&ch ti"e wo&ld p ss be*ore it w s too "&ch ti"e. Be*ore it "e nt so"ething w s wrong3"ore wrong th n it lre dy w s. Another goniIing "o"ent p ssed, nd then AroFs voice bro$e the silence. L# , h , h ,L he l &ghed, his he d still bent *orw rd. #e loo$ed &p slowly, his eyes bright with excite"ent. LTh t w s fascinatingML Alice s"iled dryly. L8F" gl d yo& enJoyed it.L LTo see the things yo&Fve seen3especi lly the ones th t h venFt h ppened yetML #e shoo$ his he d in wonder. LB&t th t will,L she re"inded hi", voice c l". L+es, yes, itFs H&ite deter"ined. !ert inly thereFs no proble".L ! i&s loo$ed bitterly dis ppointed3 *eeling he see"ed to sh re with /elix nd 7 ne. LAro,L ! i&s co"pl ined. LDe r ! i&s,L Aro s"iled. LDo not *ret. Thin$ o* the possibilitiesM They do not Join &s tod y, b&t we c n lw ys hope *or the *&t&re. 8" gine the Joy yo&ng Alice lone wo&ld bring to o&r little ho&seholdN Besides, 8F" so terribly c&rio&s to see how Bell t&rns o&tML Aro see"ed convinced. Did he not re liIe how s&bJective AliceFs visions were.F Th t she co&ld " $e &p her "ind to tr ns*or" "e tod y, nd then ch nge it to"orrowK A "illion tiny decisions, her decisions nd so " ny othersF, too30dw rdFs3co&ld lter her p th, nd with th t, the *&t&re. And wo&ld it re lly " tter th t Alice w s willing, wo&ld it " $e ny di**erence i* 8 did beco"e v "pire, when the ide w s so rep&lsive to 0dw rdK 8* de th w s, to hi", better ltern tive th n h ving "e ro&nd *orever, n i""ort l nnoy nceK Terri*ied s 8 w s, 8 *elt "ysel* sin$ing down into depression, drowning in itN LThen we re *ree to go nowKL 0dw rd s$ed in n even voice. L+es, yes,L Aro s id ple s ntly. LB&t ple se visit g in. 8tFs been bsol&tely enthr llingML LAnd we will visit yo& s well,L ! i&s pro"ised, his eyes s&ddenly h l*6closed li$e the he vy6 lidded g Ie o* liI rd. LTo be s&re th t yo& *ollow thro&gh on yo&r side. -ere 8 yo&, 8 wo&ld not del y too long. -e do not o**er second ch nces.L 0dw rdFs J w clenched tight, b&t he nodded once. ! i&s s"ir$ed nd dri*ted b c$ to where M rc&s still s t, &n"oving nd &ninterested. /elix gro ned. LAh, /elix.L Aro s"iled, "&sed. L#eidi will be here t ny "o"ent. ? tience.L
L#"".L 0dw rdFs voice h d new edge to it. L8n th t c se, perh ps weFd better le ve sooner r ther th n l ter.L L+es,L Aro greed. LTh tFs good ide . Accidents do h ppen. ?le se w it below &ntil *ter d r$, tho&gh, i* yo& donFt "ind.L LE* co&rse,L 0dw rd greed, while 8 cringed t the tho&ght o* w iting o&t the d y be*ore we co&ld esc pe. LAnd here,L Aro dded, "otioning to /elix with one *inger. /elix c "e *orw rd t once, nd Aro &n* stened the gr y clo $ the h&ge v "pire wore, p&lling *ro" his sho&lders. #e tossed it to 0dw rd. LT $e this. +o&Fre little conspic&o&s.L 0dw rd p&t the long clo $ on, le ving the hood down. Aro sighed. L8t s&its yo&.L 0dw rd ch&c$led, b&t bro$e o** s&ddenly, gl ncing over his sho&lder. LTh n$ yo&, Aro. -eFll w it below.L L%oodbye, yo&ng *riends,L Aro s id, his eyes bright s he st red in the s "e direction. LLetFs go,L 0dw rd s id, &rgent now. De"etri gest&red th t we sho&ld *ollow, nd then set o** the w y weFd co"e in, the only exit by the loo$ o* things. 0dw rd p&lled "e swi*tly long beside hi". Alice w s close by "y other side, her * ce h rd. LNot * st eno&gh,L she "&ttered. 8 st red &p t her, *rightened, b&t she only see"ed ch grined. 8t w s then th t 8 *irst he rd the b bble o* voices3lo&d, ro&gh voices3co"ing *ro" the ntech "ber. L-ell this is &n&s& l,L " nFs co rse voice boo"ed. LSo "ediev l,L n &nple s ntly shrill, *e" le voice g&shed b c$. A l rge crowd w s co"ing thro&gh the little door, *illing the s" ller stone ch "ber. De"etri "otioned *or &s to " $e roo". -e pressed b c$ g inst the cold w ll to let the" p ss. The co&ple in *ront, A"eric ns *ro" the so&nd o* the", gl nced ro&nd the"selves with ppr ising eyes. L-elco"e, g&estsM -elco"e to ,olterr ML 8 co&ld he r Aro sing *ro" the big t&rret roo". The rest o* the", " ybe *orty or "ore, *iled in *ter the co&ple. So"e st&died the setting li$e to&rists. A *ew even sn pped pict&res. Ethers loo$ed con*&sed, s i* the story th t h d led the" to this roo" w s not " $ing sense ny"ore. 8 noticed one s" ll, d r$ wo" n in p rtic&l r. Aro&nd her nec$ w s ros ry, nd she gripped the cross tightly in one h nd. She w l$ed "ore slowly th n the others, to&ching so"eone now nd then nd s$ing H&estion in n &n* "ili r l ng& ge. No one see"ed to &nderst nd her, nd her voice grew "ore p nic$ed.
0dw rd p&lled "y * ce g inst his chest, b&t it w s too l te. 8 lre dy &nderstood. As soon s the s" llest bre $ ppe red, 0dw rd p&shed "e H&ic$ly tow rd the door. 8 co&ld *eel the horri*ied expression on "y * ce, nd the te rs beginning to pool in "y eyes. The orn te golden h llw y w s H&iet, e"pty except *or one gorgeo&s, st t&esH&e wo" n. She st red t &s c&rio&sly, "e in p rtic&l r. L-elco"e ho"e, #eidi,L De"etri greeted her *ro" behind &s. #eidi s"iled bsently. She re"inded "e o* Bos lie, tho&gh they loo$ed nothing li$e3it w s J&st th t her be &ty, too, w s exception l, &n*orgett ble. 8 co&ldnFt see" to loo$ w y. She w s dressed to e"ph siIe th t be &ty. #er " Iingly long legs, d r$ened with tights, were exposed by the shortest o* "inis$irts. #er top w s long6sleeved nd high6nec$ed, b&t extre"ely close6*itting, nd constr&cted o* red vinyl. #er long " hog ny h ir w s l&stro&s, nd her eyes were the str ngest sh de o* violet3 color th t "ight res&lt *ro" bl&e6tinted cont cts over red irises. LDe"etri,L she responded in sil$y voice, her eyes *lic$ering between "y * ce nd 0dw rdFs gr y clo $. LNice *ishing,L De"etri co"pli"ented her, nd 8 s&ddenly &nderstood the ttention6gr bbing o&t*it she woreN she w s not only the *isher" n, b&t lso the b it. LTh n$s.L She *l shed st&nning s"ile. LArenFt yo& co"ingKL L8n "in&te. S ve *ew *or "e.L #eidi nodded nd d&c$ed thro&gh the door with one l st c&rio&s loo$ t "e. 0dw rd set p ce th t h d "e r&nning to $eep &p. B&t we still co&ldnFt get thro&gh the orn te door t the end o* the h llw y be*ore the scre "ing st rted.
22 F!IGHT
D0M0TB8 L0/T 'S 8N T#0 !#00B/'LL+ E?'L0NT B0!0?T8EN re , where the wo" n %i nn w s still t her post behind the polished co&nter. Bright, h r"less "&sic tin$led *ro" hidden spe $ers. LDo not le ve &ntil d r$,L he w rned &s. 0dw rd nodded, nd De"etri h&rried w y. %i nn did not see" t ll s&rprised by the exch nge, tho&gh she did eye 0dw rdFs borrowed clo $ with shrewd spec&l tion.
LAre yo& ll rightKL 0dw rd s$ed &nder his bre th, to low *or the h&" n wo" n to he r. #is voice w s ro&gh3i* velvet c n be ro&gh3with nxiety. Still stressed by o&r sit& tion, 8 i" gined. L+o&Fd better " $e her sit be*ore she * lls,L Alice s id. LSheFs going to pieces.L 8t w s only then th t 8 re liIe 8 w s sh $ing, sh $ing h rd, "y entire *r "e vibr ting &ntil "y teeth ch ttered nd the roo" ro&nd "e see"ed to wobble nd bl&r in "y eyes. /or one wild second, 8 wondered i* this w s how 7 cob *elt J&st be*ore exploding into werewol*. 8 he rd so&nd th t didnFt " $e sense, str nge, ripping co&nterp rt to the otherwise cheery b c$gro&nd "&sic. Distr cted by the sh $ing, 8 co&ldnFt tell where it w s co"ing *ro". LShh, Bell , shh,L 0dw rd s id s he p&lled "e to the so* * rthest w y *ro" the c&rio&s h&" n t the des$. L8 thin$ sheFs h ving hysterics. M ybe yo& sho&ld sl p her,L Alice s&ggested. 0dw rd threw *r ntic gl nce t her. Then 8 &nderstood. Eh. The noise w s "e. The ripping so&nd w s the sobs co"ing *ro" "y chest. Th tFs wh t w s sh $ing "e. L8tFs ll right, yo&Fre s *e, itFs ll right,L he ch nted g in nd g in. #e p&lled ne onto his l p nd t&c$ed the thic$ wool clo $ ro&nd "e, protecting "e *ro" his cold s$in. 8 $new it w s st&pid to re ct li$e this. -ho $new how "&ch ti"e 8 h d to loo$ t his r ceK #e w s s ved, nd 8 w s s ved, nd he co&ld le ve "e s soon s we were *ree. To h ve "y eyes so *illed with te rs th t 8 co&ld not see his *e t&res cle rly w s w ste*&l3ins nity. B&t, behind "y eyes where the te rs co&ld not w sh the i" ge w y, 8 co&ld still see the p nic$ed * ce o* the tiny wo" n with the ros ry. LAll those people,L 8 sobbed. L8 $now,L he whispered. L8tFs so horrible.L L+es, it is. 8 wish yo& h dnFt h d to see th t.L 8 rested "y he d g inst his cold chest, &sing the thic$ clo $ to wipe "y eyes. 8 too$ *ew deep bre ths, trying to c l" "ysel*. L8s there nything 8 c n get yo&KL voice s$ed politely. 8t w s %i nn , le ning over 0dw rdFs sho&lder with loo$ th t w s both concerned nd yet still pro*ession l nd det ched t the s "e ti"e. 8t didnFt see" to bother her th t her * ce w s inches *ro" hostile v "pire. She w s either tot lly oblivio&s, or very good t her Job. LNo,L 0dw rd nswered coldly. She nodded, s"iled t "e, nd then dis ppe red.
8 w ited &ntil she w s o&t o* he ring r nge. LDoes she $now wh tFs going on hereKL 8 de" nded, "y voice low nd ho rse. 8 w s getting control o* "ysel*, "y bre thing evening o&t. L+es. She $nows everything,L 0dw rd told "e. LDoes she $now theyFre going to $ill her so"ed yKL LSheFs $nows itFs possibility,L he s id. Th t s&rprised "e. 0dw rdFs * ce w s h rd to re d. LSheFs hoping theyFll decide to $eep her.L 8 *elt the blood le ve "y * ce. LShe w nts to be one o* the"KL #e nodded once, his eyes sh rp on "y * ce, w tching "y re ction. 8 sh&ddered. L#ow c n she w nt th tKL 8 whispered, "ore to "ysel* th n re lly loo$ing *or n nswer. L#ow c n she w tch those people *ile thro&gh to th t hideo&s roo" nd w nt to be p rt o* thatKL 0dw rd didnFt nswer. #is expression twisted in response to so"ething 8Fd s id. As 8 st red t his too be &ti*&l * ce, trying to &nderst nd the ch nge, it s&ddenly str&c$ "e th t 8 w s re lly here, in 0dw rdFs r"s, however *leetingly, nd th t we were not3 t this ex ct "o"ent3 bo&t to be $illed. LEh, 0dw rd,L 8 cried, nd 8 w s sobbing g in. 8t w s s&ch st&pid re ction. The te rs were too thic$ *or "e to see his * ce g in, nd th t w s inexc&s ble. 8 only h d &ntil s&nset *or s&re. Li$e * iry t le g in, with de dlines th t ended the " gic. L-h tFs wrongKL he s$ed, still nxio&s, r&bbing "y b c$ with gentle p ts. 8 wr pped "y r"s ro&nd his nec$3wh t w s the worst he co&ld doK 7&st p&sh "e w y3 nd h&gged "ysel* closer to hi". L8s it re lly sic$ *or "e to be h ppy right nowKL 8 s$ed. My voice bro$e twice. #e didnFt p&sh "e w y. #e p&lled "e tight g inst his ice6h rd chest, so tight it w s h rd to bre the, even with "y l&ngs sec&rely int ct. L8 $now ex ctly wh t yo& "e n,L he whispered. LB&t we h ve lots o* re sons to be h ppy. /or one, weFre live.L L+es,L 8 greed. LTh tFs good one.L LAnd together,L he bre thed. #is bre th w s so sweet it " de "y he d swi". 8 J&st nodded, s&re th t he did not pl ce the s "e weight on th t consider tion s 8 did. LAnd, with ny l&c$, weFll still be live to"orrow.L L#ope*&lly,L 8 s id &ne sily.
LThe o&tloo$ is H&ite good,L Alice ss&red "e. SheFd been so H&iet, 8Fd l"ost *orgotten her presence. L8Fll see 7 sper in less th n twenty6*o&r ho&rs,L she dded in s tis*ied tone. L&c$y Alice. She co&ld tr&st her *&t&re. 8 co&ldnFt $eep "y eyes o** o* 0dw rdFs * ce *or long. 8 st red t hi", wishing "ore th n nything th t the *&t&re wo&ld never h ppen. Th t this "o"ent wo&ld l st *orever, or, i* it co&ldnFt, th t 8 wo&ld stop existing when it did. 0dw rd st red right b c$ t "e, his d r$ eyes so*t, nd it w s e sy to pretend th t he *elt the s "e w y. So th tFs wh t 8 did. 8 pretended, to " $e the "o"ent sweeter. #is *ingertips tr ced the circles &nder "y eyes. L+o& loo$ so tired.L LAnd yo& loo$ thirsty,L 8 whispered b c$, st&dying the p&rple br&ises &nder his bl c$ irises. #e shr&gged. L8tFs nothing.L LAre yo& s&reK 8 co&ld sit with Alice,L 8 o**ered, &nwillingG 8Fd r ther he $illed "e now th n "ove one inch *ro" where 8 w s. LDonFt be ridic&lo&s.L #e sighedG his sweet bre th c ressed "y * ce. L8Fve never been in better control o* that side o* "y n t&re th n right now.L 8 h d "illion H&estions *or hi". Ene o* the" b&bbled to "y lips now, b&t 8 held "y tong&e. 8 didnFt w nt to r&in the "o"ent, s i"per*ect s it w s, here in this roo" th t " de "e sic$, &nder the eyes o* the wo&ld6be "onster. #ere in his r"s, it w s so e sy to * nt siIe th t he w nted "e. 8 didnFt w nt to thin$ bo&t his "otiv tions now3 bo&t whether he cted this w y to $eep "e c l" while we were still in d nger, or i* he J&st *elt g&ilty *or where we were nd relieved th t he w snFt responsible *or "y de th. M ybe the ti"e p rt h d been eno&gh th t 8 didnFt bore hi" *or the "o"ent. B&t it didnFt " tter. 8 w s so "&ch h ppier pretending. 8 l y H&iet in his r"s, re6"e"oriIing his * ce, pretendingN #e st red t "y * ce li$e he w s doing the s "e, while he nd Alice disc&ssed how to get ho"e. Their voices were so H&ic$ nd low th t 8 $new %i nn co&ldnFt &nderst nd. 8 "issed h l* o* it "ysel*. 8t so&nded li$e "ore the*t wo&ld be involved, tho&gh. 8 wondered idly i* the yellow ?orsche h d " de it b c$ to its owner yet. L-h t w s ll th t t l$ bo&t singersKL Alice s$ed t one point. L<a tua cantante,, 0dw rd s id. #is voice " de the words into "&sic. L+es, th t,L Alice s id, nd 8 concentr ted *or "o"ent. 8Fd wondered bo&t th t, too, t the ti"e. 8 *elt 0dw rd shr&g ro&nd "e. LThey h ve n "e *or so"eone who s"ells the w y Bell does to "e. They c ll her "y singer3bec &se her blood sings *or "e.L Alice l &ghed.
8 w s tired eno&gh to sleep, b&t 8 *o&ght g inst the we riness. 8 w snFt going to "iss second o* the ti"e 8 h d with hi". Now nd then, s he t l$ed with Alice, he wo&ld le n down s&ddenly nd $iss "e3his gl ss6s"ooth lips br&shing g inst "y h ir, "y *orehe d, the tip o* "y nose. 0 ch ti"e it w s li$e n electric shoc$ to "y long dor" nt he rt. The so&nd o* its be ting see"ed to *ill the entire roo". 8t w s he ven3right s" c$ in the "iddle o* hell. 8 lost tr c$ o* the ti"e co"pletely. So when 0dw rdFs r"s tightened ro&nd "e, nd both he nd Alice loo$ed to the b c$ o* the roo" with w ry eyes, 8 p nic$ed. 8 cringed into 0dw rdFs chest s Alec3his eyes now vivid r&by, b&t still spotless in his light gr y s&it despite the *ternoon "e l3w l$ed thro&gh the do&ble doors. 8t w s good news. L+o&Fre *ree to le ve now,L Alec told &s, his tone so w r" yo&Fd thin$ we were ll li*elong *riends. L-e s$ th t yo& donFt linger in the city.L 0dw rd " de no nswering pretenceG his voice w s ice cold. LTh t wonFt be proble".L Alec s"iled, nodded, nd dis ppe red g in. L/ollow the right h llw y ro&nd the corner to the *irst set o* elev tors,L %i nn told &s s 0dw rd helped "e to "y *eet. LThe lobby is two *loors down, nd exits to the street. %oodbye, now,L she dded ple s ntly. 8 wondered i* her co"petence wo&ld be eno&gh to s ve her. Alice shot her d r$ loo$. 8 w s relieved there w s nother w y o&tG 8 w snFt s&re i* 8 co&ld h ndle nother to&r thro&gh the &ndergro&nd. -e le*t thro&gh t ste*&lly l&x&rio&s lobby. 8 w s the only one who gl nced b c$ t the "ediev l c stle th t ho&sed the el bor te b&siness * c de 8 co&ldnFt see the t&rret *ro" here, *or which 8 w s gr te*&l. The p rty w s still in *&ll swing in the streets. The street l "ps were J&st co"ing on s we w l$ed swi*tly thro&gh the n rrow, cobbled l nes. The s$y w s d&ll, * ding gr y overhe d, b&t the b&ildings crowded the streets so closely th t it *elt d r$er. The p rty w s d r$er, too. 0dw rdFs long, tr iling clo $ did not st nd o&t in the w y it "ight h ve on nor" l evening in ,olterr . There were others in bl c$ s tin clo $s now, nd the pl stic * ngs 8Fd seen on the child in the sH& re tod y see"ed to be very pop&l r with the d&lts. LBidic&lo&s,L 0dw rd "&ttered once. 8 didnFt notice when Alice dis ppe red *ro" beside "e. 8 loo$ed over to s$ her H&estion, nd she w s gone. L-hereFs AliceKL 8 whispered in p nic. LShe went to retrieve yo&r b gs *ro" where she st shed the" this "orning.L
8Fd *orgotten th t 8 h d ccess to toothbr&sh. 8t brightened "y o&tloo$ consider bly. LSheFs ste ling c r, too, isnFt sheKL 8 g&essed. #e grinned. LNot till weFre o&tside.L 8t see"ed li$e very long w y to the entryw y. 0dw rd co&ld see th t 8 w s spentG he wo&nd his r" ro&nd "y w ist nd s&pported "ost o* "y weight s we w l$ed. 8 sh&ddered s he p&lled "e thro&gh the d r$ stone rchw y. The h&ge, ncient portc&llis bove w s li$e c ge door, thre tening to drop on &s, to loc$ &s in. #e led "e tow rd d r$ c r, w iting in pool o* sh dow to the right o* the g te with the engine r&nning. To "y s&rprise, he slid into the b c$se t with "e, inste d o* insisting on driving. Alice w s pologetic. L8F" sorry.L She gest&red v g&ely tow rd the d shbo rd. LThere w snFt "&ch to choose *ro".L L8tFs *ine, Alice.L #e grinned. LThey c nFt ll be 1(( T&rbos.L She sighed. L8 " y h ve to cH&ire one o* those leg lly. 8t w s * b&lo&s.L L8Fll get yo& one *or !hrist" s,L 0dw rd pro"ised. Alice t&rned to be " t hi", which worried "e, s she w s lre dy speeding down the d r$ nd c&rvy hillside t the s "e ti"e. L+ellow,L she told hi". 0dw rd $ept "e tight in his r"s. 8nside the gr y clo $, 8 w s w r" nd co"*ort ble. More th n co"*ort ble. L+o& c n sleep now, Bell ,L he "&r"&red. L8tFs over.L 8 $new he "e nt the d nger, the night" re in the ncient city, b&t 8 still h d to sw llow h rd be*ore 8 co&ld nswer. L8 donFt w nt to sleep. 8F" not tired.L 7&st the second p rt w s lie. 8 w snFt bo&t to close "y eyes. The c r w s only di"ly lit by the d shbo rd controls, b&t it w s eno&gh th t 8 co&ld see his * ce. #e pressed his lips to the hollow &nder "y e r. LTry,L he enco&r ged. 8 shoo$ "y he d. #e sighed. L+o&Fre still J&st s st&bborn.L 8 as st&bbornG 8 *o&ght with "y he vy lids, nd 8 won. The d r$ ro d w s the h rdest p rtG the bright lights t the irport in /lorence " de it e sier, s did the ch nce to br&sh "y teeth nd ch nge into cle n clothesG Alice bo&ght 0dw rd new clothes, too, nd he le*t the d r$ clo $ on pile o* tr sh in n lley. The pl ne trip to Bo"e w s
so short th t there w snFt re lly ch nce *or the * tig&e to dr g "e &nder. 8 $new the *light *ro" Bo"e to Atl nt wo&ld be nother " tter entirely, so 8 s$ed the *light ttend nt i* she co&ld bring "e !o$e. LBell ,L 0dw rd s id dis pprovingly. #e $new "y low toler nce *or c **eine. Alice w s behind &s. 8 co&ld he r her "&r"&ring to 7 sper on the phone. L8 donFt w nt to sleep,L 8 re"inded hi". 8 g ve hi" n exc&se th t w s believ ble bec &se it w s tr&e. L8* 8 close "y eyes now, 8Fll see things 8 donFt w nt to see. 8Fll h ve night" res.L #e didnFt rg&e with "e *ter th t. 8t wo&ld h ve been very good ti"e to t l$, to get the nswers 8 needed3needed b&t not re lly w ntedG 8 w s lre dy desp iring t the tho&ght o* wh t 8 "ight he r. -e h d n &ninterr&pted bloc$ o* tirre he d o* &s, nd he co&ldnFt esc pe "e on n irpl ne3well, not e sily, t le st. No one wo&ld he r &s except AliceG it w s l te, nd "ost o* the p ssengers were t&rning o** lights nd s$ing *or pillows in "&ted voices. T l$ wo&ld help "e *ight o** the exh &stion. B&t, perversely, 8 bit "y tong&e g inst the *lood o* H&estions. My re soning w s prob bly *l wed by exh &stion, b&t 8 hoped th t by postponing the disc&ssion, 8 co&ld b&y *ew "ore ho&rs with hi" t so"e l ter ti"e3spin this o&t *or nother night, Scheher I de6style. So 8 $ept drin$ing sod , nd resisting even the &rge to blin$. 0dw rd see"ed per*ectly content to hold "e in his r"s, his *ingers tr cing "y * ce g in nd g in. 8 to&ched his * ce, too. 8 co&ldnFt stop "ysel*, tho&gh 8 w s *r id it wo&ld h&rt "e l ter, when 8 w s lone g in. #e contin&ed to $iss "y h ir, "y *orehe d, "y wristsN b&t never "y lips, nd th t w s good. A*ter ll, how " ny w ys c n one he rt be " ngled nd still be expected to $eep be tingK 8Fd lived thro&gh lot th t sho&ld h ve *inished "e in the l st *ew d ys, b&t it didnFt " $e "e *eel strong. 8nste d, 8 *elt horribly *r gile, li$e one word co&ld sh tter "e. 0dw rd didnFt spe $. M ybe he w s hoping 8 wo&ld sleep. M ybe he h d nothing to s y. 8 won the *ight g inst "y he vy lids. 8 w s w $e when we re ched the irport in Atl nt , nd 8 even w tched the s&n beginning to rise over Se ttleFs clo&d cover be*ore 0dw rd slid the window sh&t. 8 w s pro&d o* "ysel*. 8 h dnFt "issed one "in&te. Neither Alice nor 0dw rd w s s&rprised by the reception th t w ited *or &s t Se 6T c irport, b&t it c &ght "e o** g& rd. 7 sper w s the *irst one 8 s w3he didnFt see" to see "e t ll. #is eyes were only *or Alice. She went H&ic$ly to his sideG they didnFt e"br ce li$e other co&ples "eeting there. They only st red into e ch otherFs * ces, yet, so"ehow, the "o"ent w s so priv te th t 8 still *elt the need to loo$ w y. ! rlisle nd 0s"e w ited in H&iet corner * r *ro" the line *or the "et l detectors, in the sh dow o* wide pill r. 0s"e re ched *or "e, h&gging "e *iercely, yet w$w rdly, bec &se 0dw rd $ept his r"s ro&nd "e, too. LTh n$ yo& so "&ch,L she s id in "y e r. Then she threw her r"s ro&nd 0dw rd, nd she loo$ed li$e she wo&ld be crying i* th t were possible.
L+o& will never p&t "e thro&gh Oh t g in,L she ne rly growled. 0dw rd grinned, repent nt. LSorry, Mo".L LTh n$ yo&, Bell ,L ! rlisle s id. L-e owe yo&.L L# rdly,L 8 "&"bled. The sleepless night w s s&ddenly overpowering. My he d *elt disconnected *ro" "y body. LSheFs de d on her *eet,L 0s"e scolded 0dw rd. LLetFs get her ho"e.L Not s&re i* ho"e w s wh t 8 w nted t this point, 8 st&"bled, h l*6blind, thro&gh the irport, 0dw rd dr gging "e on one side nd 0s"e on the other. 8 didnFt $now i* Alice nd 7 sper were behind &s or not, nd 8 w s too exh &sted to loo$. 8 thin$ 8 w s "ostly sleep, tho&gh 8 w s still w l$ing, when we re ched their c r. The s&rprise o* seeing 0""ett nd Bos lie le ning g inst the bl c$ sed n &nder the di" lights o* the p r$ing g r ge revived "e so"e. 0dw rd sti**ened. LDonFt,L 0s"e whispered. LShe *eels w*&l.L LShe sho&ld,L 0dw rd s id, " $ing no tte"pt to $eep his voice down. L8tFs not her * &lt,L 8 s id, "y words g rbled with exh &stion. LLet her " $e "ends,L 0s"e ple ded. L-eFll ride with Alice nd 7 sper.L 0dw rd glowered t the bs&rdly lovely blond v "pire w iting *or &s. L?le se, 0dw rd,L 8 s id. 8 didnFt w nt to ride with Bos lie ny "ore th n he see"ed to, b&t 8Fd c &sed "ore th n eno&gh discord in his * "ily. #e sighed, nd towed "e tow rd the c r. 0""ett nd Bos lie got in the *ront se t witho&t spe $ing, while 0dw rd p&lled "e in the b c$ g in. 8 $new 8 w snFt going to be ble to *ight "y eyelids ny"ore, nd 8 l id "y he d g inst his chest in de*e t, letting the" close. 8 *elt the c r p&rr to li*e. L0dw rd,L Bos lie beg n. L8 $now.L 0dw rdFs br&sH&e tone w s not genero&s. LBell KL Bos lie s$ed so*tly. My eyelids *l&ttered open in shoc$. 8t w s the *irst ti"e sheFd ever spo$en directly to "e. L+es, Bos lieKL 8 s$ed, hesit nt. L8F" so very sorry, Bell . 8 *eel wretched bo&t every p rt o* this, nd so gr te*&l th t yo& were br ve eno&gh to go s ve "y brother *ter wh t 8 did. ?le se s y yo&Fll *orgive "e.L The words were w$w rd, stilted bec &se o* her e"b rr ss"ent, b&t they see"ed sincere.
LE* co&rse, Bos lie,L 8 "&"bled, gr sping t ny ch nce to " $e her h te "e little less. L8tFs not yo&r * &lt t ll. 8F" the one who J&"ped o** the d "n cli**. E* co&rse 8 *orgive yo&.L The words c "e o&t li$e "&sh. L8t doesnFt co&nt &ntil sheFs conscio&s, Bose,L 0""ett ch&c$led. L8F" conscio&s,L 8 s idG it J&st so&nded li$e g rbled sigh. LLet her sleep,L 0dw rd insisted, b&t his voice w s little w r"er. 8t w s H&iet then, except *or the gentle thr&" o* the engine. 8 "&st h ve * llen sleep, bec &se it see"ed li$e seconds l ter when the door opened nd 0dw rd w s c rrying "e *ro" the c r. My eyes wo&ldnFt open. At *irst 8 tho&ght we were still t the irport. And then 8 he rd !h rlie. LBell ML he sho&ted *ro" so"e dist nce. L!h rlie,L 8 "&"bled, trying to sh $e o** the st&por. LShh,L 0dw rd whispered. L8tFs o$ yG yo&Fre ho"e nd s *e. 7&st sleep.L L8 c nFt believe yo& h ve the nerve to show yo&r * ce here.L !h rlie bellowed t 0dw rd, his voice "&ch closer now. LStop it, D d,L 8 gro ned. #e didnFt he r "e. L-h tFs wrong with herKL !h rlie de" nded. LSheFs J&st very tired, !h rlie,L 0dw rd ss&red hi" H&ietly. L?le se let her rest.L LDonFt tell "e wh t to doML !h rlie yelled. L%ive her to "e. %et yo&r h nds o** herML 0dw rd tried to p ss "e to !h rlie, b&t 8 cl&ng to hi" with loc$ed, ten cio&s *ingers. 8 co&ld *eel "y d d y n$ing on "y r". L!&t it o&t, D d,L 8 s id with "ore vol&"e. 8 " n ged to dr g "y lids b c$ to st re t !h rlie with ble ry eyes. LBe " d t me.L -e were in *ront o* "y ho&se. The *ront door w s st nding open. The clo&d cover overhe d w s too thic$ to g&ess t ti"e o* d y. L+o& bet 8 will be,L !h rlie pro"ised. L%et inside.L iFLC y. Let "e down,L 8 sighed. 0dw rd set "e on "y *eet. 8 co&ld see th t 8 w s &pright, b&t 8 co&ldnFt *eel "y legs. 8 tr&dged *orw rd nyw y, &ntil the sidew l$ swirled &p tow rd "y * ce. 0dw rdFs r"s c &ght "e be*ore 8 hit the concrete. L7&st let "e get her &pst irs,L 0dw rd s id. LThen 8Fll le ve.L
LNo,L 8 cried, p nic$ing. 8 h dnFt got "y nswers yet. #e h d to st y *or t le st th t "&ch, didnFt heK L8 wonFt be * r,L 0dw rd pro"ised, whispering so low in "y e r th t !h rlie didnFt h ve hope o* he ring. 8 didnFt he r !h rlie nswer, b&t 0dw rd he ded into the ho&se. My open eyes only " de it till the st irs. The l st thing 8 *elt w s 0dw rdFs cool h nds prying "y *ingers loose *ro" his shirt.
23. THE TRUTH
8 #AD T#0 S0NS0 T#AT 8FD B00N ASL00? /EB A ,0B+ long ti"e3"y body w s sti**, li$e 8 h dnFt "oved once thro&gh ll th t ti"e, either. My "ind w s d Ied nd slowG str nge, color*&l dre "s3dre "s nd night" res3swirled diIIily ro&nd the inside o* "y he d. They were so vivid. The horrible nd the he venly, ll "ixed together into biI rre J&"ble. There w s sh rp i"p tience nd *e r, both p rt o* th t *r&str ting dre " where yo&r *eet c nFt "ove * st eno&ghN And there were plenty o* "onsters, red6eyed *iends th t were ll the "ore gh stly *or their genteel civility. The dre " w s still strong38 co&ld even re"e"ber the n "es. B&t the strongest, cle rest p rt o* the dre " w s not the horror. 8t w s the ngel th t w s most cle r. 8t w s h rd to let hi" go nd w $e &p. This dre " did not w nt to be shoved w y into the v &lt o* dre "s 8 re*&sed to revisit. 8 str&ggled with it s "y "ind bec "e "ore lert, *oc&sing on re lity. 8 co&ldnFt re"e"ber wh t d y o* the wee$ it w s, b&t 8 w s s&re 7 cob or school or wor$ or so"ething w s w iting *or "e. 8 inh led deeply, wondering how to * ce nother d y. So"ething cold to&ched "y *orehe d with the so*test press&re. 8 sH&eeIed "y eyes "ore tightly sh&t. 8 w s still dre "ing, it see"ed, nd it *elt bnor" lly re l. 8 w s so close to w $ingN ny second now, nd it wo&ld be gone. B&t 8 re liIed th t it *elt too re l, too re l to be good *or "e. The stone r"s 8 i" gined wr pped ro&nd "e were * r too s&bst nti l. 8* 8 let this go ny *&rther, 8Fd be sorry *or it l ter. -ith resigned sigh, 8 wrenched b c$ "y eyelids to dispel the ill&sion. LEhML 8 g sped, nd threw "y *ists over "y eyes. -ell, cle rly, 8Fd gone too * rG it "&st h ve been "ist $e to let "y i" gin tion get so o&t o* h nd. E$ y, so LletL w s the wrong word. 8Fd forced it to get o&t o* h nd3pretty "&ch st l$ed "y h ll&cin tions3 nd now "y "ind h d sn pped. 8t too$ less th n h l* second *or "e to re liIe th t, s long s 8 w s tr&ly ins ne now, 8 "ight s well enJoy the del&sions while they were ple s nt. 8 opened "y eyes g in3 nd 0dw rd w s still there, his per*ect * ce J&st inches w y *ro" "ine.
LDid 8 *righten yo&KL #is low voice w s nxio&s. This w s very good, s del&sions went. The * ce, the voice, the scent, everything3it w s so "&ch better th n drowning. The be &ti*&l *ig"ent o* "y i" gin tion w tched "y ch nging expressions, with l r". #is irises were pitch6 bl c$, with br&ise6li$e sh dows &nder the". This s&rprised "eG "y h ll&cin tory 0dw rds were &s& lly better *ed. 8 blin$ed twice, desper tely trying to re"e"ber the l st thing th t 8 w s s&re w s re l. Alice w s p rt o* "y dre ", nd 8 wondered i* she h d re lly co"e b c$ t ll, or i* th t w s J&st the pre "ble. 8 thought sheFd ret&rned the d y 8Fd ne rly drownedN LEh, crap, 8 cro $ed. My thro t w s thic$ with sleeping. L-h tFs wrong, Bell KL 8 *rowned t hi" &nh ppily. #is * ce w s even "ore nxio&s th n be*ore. L8F" de d, rightKL 8 "o ned. L8 did dro n. !r p, cr p, cr pM This is gonn $ill !h rlie.L 0dw rd *rowned, too. L+o&Fre not de d.L LThen why " 8 not w $ing &pKL 8 ch llenged, r ising "y eyebrows. L+o& are w $e, Bell .L 8 shoo$ "y he d. LS&re, s&re. Th tFs wh t yo& w nt "e to thin$. And then it will be worse when 8 do w $e &p. If 8 w $e &p, which 8 wonFt, bec &se 8F" de d. This is w*&l. ?oor !h rlie. And Benee nd 7 $eNL 8 tr iled o** in horror t wh t 8 h d done. L8 c n see where yo& "ight con*&se "e with night" re.L #is short6lived s"ile w s gri". LB&t 8 c nFt i" gine wh t yo& co&ld h ve done to wind &p in hell. Did yo& co""it " ny "&rders while 8 w s w yKL 8 gri" ced. LEbvio&sly not. 8* 8 w s in hell, yo& wo&ldnFt be with "e.L #e sighed. My he d w s getting cle rer. My eyes *lic$ered w y *ro" his * ce3&nwillingly3*or one second, to the d r$, open window, nd then b c$ to hi". 8 st rted to re"e"ber det ilsN nd 8 *elt * int, &n* "ili r bl&sh w r" the s$in over "y chee$bones s 8 slowly re liIed th t 0dw rd w s re lly, tr&ly here with "e, nd 8 w s w sting ti"e being n idiot. LDid ll o* th t re lly h ppen, thenKL 8t w s l"ost i"possible to re ssign "y dre " s re lity. 8 co&ldnFt wr p "y he d ro&nd the concept. LTh t depends.L 0dw rdFs s"ile w s still h rd. L8* yo&Fre re*erring to &s ne rly being " ss cred in 8t ly, then, yes.L L#ow str nge,L 8 "&sed. L8 re lly went to 8t ly. Did yo& $now 8Fd never been * rther e st th n Alb&H&erH&eKL #e rolled his eyes. LM ybe yo& sho&ld go b c$ to sleep. +o&Fre not coherent.L
L8F" not tired ny"ore.L 8t w s ll co"ing cle r now. L-h t ti"e is itK #ow long h ve 8 been sleepingKL L8tFs J&st *ter one in the "orning. So, bo&t *o&rteen ho&rs.L 8 stretched s he spo$e. 8 w s so sti**. L!h rlieKL 8 s$ed. 0dw rd *rowned. LSleeping. +o& sho&ld prob bly $now th t 8F" bre $ing the r&les right now. -ell, not technic lly, since he s id 8 w s never to w l$ thro&gh his door g in, nd 8 c "e in the windowN B&t, still, the intent w s cle r.L L!h rlie b nned yo& *ro" the ho&seKL 8 s$ed, disbelie* H&ic$ly "elting into *&ry. #is eyes were s d. LDid yo& expect nything elseKL My eyes were " d. 8 w s going to h ve *ew words with "y * ther3perh ps it wo&ld be good ti"e to re"ind hi" th t 8 w s over the leg l ge o* d&lthood. 8t didnFt " tter so "&ch, o* co&rse, except in principle. All too soon there wo&ld be no re son *or the prohibition. 8 t&rned "y tho&ghts to less p in*&l ven&es. L-h tFs the storyKL 8 s$ed, gen&inely c&rio&s, b&t lso trying desper tely to $eep the convers tion c s& l, to $eep *ir" grip on "ysel*, so 8 wo&ldnFt sc re hi" w y with the *r ntic, gn wing cr ving th t w s r ging inside "e. L-h t do yo& "e nKL L-h t " 8 telling !h rlieK -h tFs "y exc&se *or dis ppe ring *orN how long w s 8 gone, nyw yKL 8 tried to co&nt the ho&rs in "y he d. L7&st three d ys.L #is eyes tightened, b&t he s"iled "ore n t&r lly this ti"e. LAct& lly, 8 w s hoping yo& "ight h ve good expl n tion. 8Fve got nothing.L 8 gro ned. L/ b&lo&s.L L-ell, " ybe Alice will co"e &p with so"ething,L he o**ered, trying to co"*ort "e. And 8 w s co"*orted. -ho c red wh t 8 h d to de l with l terK 0very second th t he w s here3 so close, his *l wless * ce glowing in the di" light *ro" the n&"bers on "y l r" cloc$3w s precio&s nd not to be w sted. LSo,L 8 beg n, pic$ing the le st i"port nt3tho&gh still vit lly interesting3H&estion to st rt with. 8 w s s *ely delivered ho"e, nd he "ight decide to le ve t ny "o"ent. 8 h d to $eep hi" t l$ing. Besides, this te"por ry he ven w snFt entirely co"plete witho&t the so&nd o* his voice. L-h t h ve yo& been doing, &p &ntil three d ys goKL #is * ce t&rned w ry in n inst nt. LNothing terribly exciting.L LE* co&rse not,L 8 "&"bled. L-hy re yo& " $ing th t * ceKL
L-ellNL 8 p&rsed "y lips, considering. L8* yo& were, *ter ll, J&st dre ", th tFs ex ctly the $ind o* thing yo& wo&ld s y. My i" gin tion "&st be &sed &p.L #e sighed. L8* 8 tell yo&, will yo& *in lly believe th t yo&Fre not h ving night" reKL LNight" reML 8 repe ted scorn*&lly. #e w ited *or "y nswer. LM ybe,L 8 s id *ter second o* tho&ght. L8* yo& tell "e.L L8 w sN h&nting.L L8s th t the best yo& c n doKL 8 criticiIed. LTh t de*initely doesnFt prove 8F" w $e.L #e hesit ted, nd then spo$e slowly, choosing his words with c re. L8 w snFt h&nting *ot *oodN 8 w s ct& lly trying "y h nd tN tr c$ing. 8F" not very good t it.L L-h t were yo& tr c$ingKL 8 s$ed, intrig&ed. LNothing o* conseH&ence.L #is words didnFt " tch his expressionG he loo$ed &pset, &nco"*ort ble. L8 donFt &nderst nd.L #e hesit tedG his * ce, shining with n odd green c st *ro" the light o* the cloc$, w s torn. L83L #e too$ deep bre th. L8 owe yo& n pology. No, o* co&rse 8 owe yo& "&ch, "&ch "ore th n th t. B&t yo& h ve to $now,L3the words beg n to *low so * st, the w y 8 re"e"bered he spo$e so"eti"es when he w s git ted, th t 8 re lly h d to concentr te to c tch the" ll3Lth t 8 h d no ide . 8 didnFt re liIe the "ess 8 w s le ving behind. 8 tho&ght it w s s *e *or yo& here. So s *e. 8 h d no ide th t ,ictori ,L3his lips c&rled b c$ when he s id the n "e3Lwo&ld co"e b c$. 8Fll d"it, when 8 s w her th t one ti"e, 8 w s p ying "&ch "ore ttention to 7 "esFs tho&ghts. B&t 8 J&st didnFt see th t she h d this $ind o* response in her. Th t she even h d s&ch tie to hi". 8 thin$ 8 re liIe why now3she w s so s&re o* hi", the tho&ght o* hi" * iling never occ&rred to her. 8t w s her overcon*idence th t clo&ded her *eelings bo&t hi"3th t $ept "e *ro" seeing the depth o* the", the bond there. LNot th t thereFs ny exc&se *or wh t 8 le*t yo& to * ce. -hen 8 he rd wh t yo& told Alice3wh t she s w hersel*3when 8 re liIed th t yo& h d to p&t yo&r li*e in the h nds o* ere olves, i"" t&re, vol tile, the worst thing o&t there besides ,ictori hersel*3he sh&ddered nd the g&sh o* words h lted *or short second. L?le se $now th t 8 h d no ide o* ny o* this. 8 *eel sic$, sic$ to "y core, even now, when 8 c n see nd *eel yo& s *e in "y r"s. 8 " the "ost "iser ble exc&se *or3L LStop,L 8 interr&pted hi". #e st red t "e with goniIed eyes, nd 8 tried to *ind the right words 3the words th t wo&ld *ree hi" *ro" this i" gined oblig tion th t c &sed hi" so "&ch p in. They were very h rd words to s y. 8 didnFt $now i* 8 co&ld get the" o&t witho&t bre $ing down. B&t 8 h d to try to do it right. 8 didnFt w nt to be so&rce o* g&ilt nd ng&ish in his li*e. #e sho&ld be h ppy, no " tter wh t it cost "e. 8Fd re lly been hoping to p&t o** this p rt o* o&r l st convers tion. 8t w s going to bring things to n end so "&ch sooner.
Dr wing on ll "y "onths o* pr ctice with trying to be nor" l *or !h rlie, 8 $ept "y * ce s"ooth. L0dw rd,L 8 s id. #is n "e b&rned "y thro t little on the w y o&t. 8 co&ld *eel the ghost o* the hole, w iting to rip itsel* wide g in s soon s he dis ppe red. 8 didnFt H&ite see how 8 w s going to s&rvive it this ti"e. LThis h s to stop now. +o& c nFt thin$ bo&t things th t w y. +o& c nFt let thisN this guiltN r&le yo&r li*e. +o& c nFt t $e responsibility *or the things th t h ppen to "e here. None o* it is yo&r * &lt, itFs J&st p rt o* how li*e is *or "e. So, i* 8 trip in *ront o* b&s or wh tever it is next ti"e, yo& h ve to re liIe th t itFs not yo&r Job to t $e the bl "e. +o& c nFt J&st go r&nning o** to 8t ly bec &se yo& *eel b d th t yo& didnFt s ve "e. 0ven i* 8 h d J&"ped o** th t cli** to die, th t wo&ld h ve been "y choice, nd not your fault. 8 $now itFs yo&rN yo&r n t&re to sho&lder the bl "e *or everything, b&t yo& re lly c nFt let th t " $e yo& go to s&ch extre"esM 8tFs very irresponsible3thin$ o* 0s"e nd ! rlisle nd3L 8 w s on the edge o* losing it. 8 stopped to t $e deep bre th, hoping to c l" "ysel*. 8 h d to set hi" *ree. 8 h d to " $e s&re this never h ppened g in. L8s bell M rie Sw n,L he whispered, the str ngest expression crossing his * ce. #e l"ost loo$ed " d. LDo yo& believe th t 8 s$ed the ,olt&ri to $ill "e because I felt guiltyKL 8 co&ld *eel the bl n$ inco"prehension on "y * ce. LDidnFt yo&KL L/eel g&iltyK 8ntensely so. More th n yo& c n co"prehend.L LThenN wh t re yo& s yingK 8 donFt &nderst nd.L LBell , 8 went to the ,olt&ri bec &se 8 tho&ght yo& were de d,L he s id, voice so*t, eyes *ierce. L0ven i* 8Fd h d no h nd in yo&r de thL3he sh&ddered s he whispered the l st word3Leven i* it asn$t "y * &lt, 8 wo&ld h ve gone to 8t ly. Ebvio&sly, 8 sho&ld h ve been "ore c re*&l38 sho&ld h ve spo$en to Alice directly, r ther th n ccepting it secondh nd *ro" Bos lie. B&t, re lly, wh t w s 8 s&pposed to thin$ when the boy s id !h rlie w s t the *&ner lK -h t re the oddsK LThe oddsNL he "&ttered then, distr cted. #is voice w s so low 8 w snFt s&re 8 be rd it right. LThe odds re lw ys st c$ed g inst &s. Mist $e *ter "ist $e. 8Fll never criticiIe Bo"eo g in.L LB&t 8 still donFt &nderst nd,L 8 s id. LTh tFs "y whole point. So wh tKL L0xc&se "eKL LSo wh t i* 8 as de dKL #e st red t "e d&bio&sly *or long "o"ent be*ore nswering. LDonFt yo& re"e"ber nything 8 told yo& be*oreKL L8 re"e"ber everything th t yo& told "e.L 8ncl&ding the words th t h d neg ted ll the rest. #e br&shed the tip o* his cool *inger g inst "y lower lip. LBell , yo& see" to be &nder "is pprehension.L #e closed his eyes, sh $ing his he d b c$ nd *orth with h l* s"ile on his be &ti*&l * ce. 8t w snFt h ppy s"ile. L8 tho&ght 8Fd expl ined it cle rly be*ore. Bell , 8 c nFt live in world where yo& donFt exist.L
L8 "NL My he d sw " s 8 loo$ed *or the ppropri te word. L!on*&sed.L Th t wor$ed. 8 co&ldnFt " $e sense o* wh t he w s s ying. #e st red deep into "y eyes with his sincere, e rnest g Ie. L8F" good li r, Bell , 8 h ve to be.L 8 *roIe, "y "&scles loc$ing down s i* *or i"p ct. The * &lt line in "y chest rippledG the p in o* it too$ "y bre th w y. #e shoo$ "y sho&lder, trying to loosen "y rigid pose. LLet "e *inishM 8F" good li r, b&t still, *or yo& to believe "e so H&ic$ly.L #e winced. LTh t w sN excr&ci ting.L 8 w ited, still *roIen. L-hen we were in the *orest, when 8 w s telling yo& goodbye3L 8 didnFt llow "ysel* to re"e"ber. 8 *o&ght to $eep "ysel* in the present second only. L+o& werenFt going to let go,L he whispered. L8 co&ld see th t. 8 didnFt w nt to do it3it *elt li$e it wo&ld $ill "e to do it3b&t 8 $new th t i* 8 co&ldnFt convince yo& th t 8 didnFt love yo& ny"ore, it wo&ld J&st t $e yo& th t "&ch longer to get on with yo&r li*e. 8 hoped th t, i* yo& tho&ght I$d moved on, so wo&ld yo&.L LA cle n bre $,L 8 whispered thro&gh &n"oving lips. L0x ctly. B&t 8 never i" gined it wo&ld be so e sy to doM 8 tho&ght it wo&ld be next to i"possible3th t yo& wo&ld be so s&re o* the tr&th th t 8 wo&ld h ve to lie thro&gh "y teeth *or ho&rs to even pl nt the seed o* do&bt in yo&r he d. 8 lied, nd 8F" so sorry3sorry bec &se 8 h&rt yo&, sorry bec &se it w s worthless e**ort. Sorry th t 8 co&ldnFt protect yo& *ro" wh t 8 n. 8 lied to s ve yo&, nd it didnFt wor$. 8F" sorry. LB&t how co&ld yo& believe "eK A*ter ll the tho&s nd ti"es 8Fve told yo& 8 love yo&, how co&ld yo& let one word bre $ yo&r * ith in "eKL 8 didnFt nswer. 8 w s too shoc$ed to *or" r tion l response. L8 co&ld see it in yo&r eyes, th t yo& honestly believed th t 8 didnFt w nt yo& ny"ore. The "ost bs&rd, ridic&lo&s concept3 s i* there were n& w y th t I co&ld exist witho&t needing youML 8 w s still *roIen. #is words were inco"prehensible, bec &se they were i"possible. #e shoo$ "y sho&lder g in, not h rd, b&t eno&gh th t "y teeth r ttled little. LBell ,L he sighed. LBe lly, wh t were yo& thin$ingML And so 8 st rted to cry. The te rs welled &p nd then g&shed "iser bly down "y chee$s. L8 $new it,L 8 sobbed. L8 kne 8 w s dre "ing.L L+o&Fre i"possible,L he s id, nd he l &ghed once3 h rd l &gh, *r&str ted. L#ow c n 8 p&t this so th t yo&Fll believe "eK +o&Fre not sleep, nd yo&Fre not de d. 8F" here, nd 8 love yo&. 8 have lw ys loved yo&, nd 8 ill lw ys love yo&. 8 w s thin$ing o* yo&, seeing yo&r * ce in "y
"ind, every second th t 8 w s w y. -hen 8 told yo& th t 8 didnFt w nt yo&, it w s the very bl c$est $ind o* bl sphe"y.L 8 shoo$ "y he d while the te rs contin&ed to ooIe *ro" the corners o* "y eyes. L+o& donFt believe "e, do yo&KL he whispered, his * ce p ler th n his &s& l p le38 co&ld see th t even in the di" light. L-hy c n yo& believe the lie, b&t not the tr&thKL L8t never " de sense *or yo& to love "e,L 8 expl ined, "y voice bre $ing twice. L8 lw ys $new th t.L #is eyes n rrowed, his J w tightened. L8Fll prove yo&Fre w $e,L he pro"ised. #e c &ght "y * ce sec&rely between his iron h nds, ignoring "y str&ggles when 8 tried to t&rn "y he d w y. L?le se donFt,L 8 whispered. #e stopped, his lips J&st h l* n inch *ro" "ine. L-hy notKL he de" nded. #is bre th blew into "y * ce, " $ing "y he d whirl. L-hen 8 w $e &pL3#e opened his "o&th to protest, so 8 revised3Lo$ y, *orget th t one3when yo& le ve g in, itFs going to be h rd eno&gh witho&t this, too.L #e p&lled b c$ n inch, to st re t "y * ce. L+esterd y, when 8 wo&ld to&ch yo&, yo& were soN hesit nt, so c re*&l, nd yet still the s "e. 8 need to $now why. 8s it bec &se 8F" too l teK Bec &se 8Fve h&rt yo& too "&chK Bec &se yo& have "oved on, s 8 "e nt *or yo& toK Th t wo&ld beN H&ite * ir. 8 wonFt contest yo&r decision. So donFt try to sp re "y *eelings, ple se3J&st tell "e now whether or not yo& c n still love "e, *ter everything 8Fve done to yo&. ! n yo&KL he whispered. L-h t $ind o* n idiotic H&estion is th tKL L7&st nswer it. ?le se.L 8 st red t hi" d r$ly *or long "o"ent. LThe w y 8 *eel bo&t yo& will never ch nge. E* co&rse 8 love yo&3 nd thereFs nothing yo& c n do bo&t itML LTh tFs ll 8 needed to he r.L #is "o&th w s on "ine then, nd 8 co&ldnFt *ight hi". Not bec &se he w s so " ny tho&s nd ti"es stronger th n "e, b&t bec &se "y will cr&"bled into d&st the second o&r lips "et. This $iss w s not H&ite s c re*&l s others 8 re"e"bered, which s&ited "e J&st *ine. 8* 8 w s going to rip "ysel* &p *&rther, 8 "ight s well get s "&ch in tr de s possible. So 8 $issed hi" b c$, "y he rt po&nding o&t J gged, disJointed rhyth" while "y bre thing t&rned to p nting nd "y *ingers "oved greedily to his * ce. 8 co&ld *eel his " rble body g inst every line o* "ine, nd 8 w s so gl d he h dnFt listened to "e3there w s no p in in the world
th t wo&ld h ve J&sti*ied "issing this. #is h nds "e"oriIed "y * ce, the s "e w y "ine were tr cing his, nd, in the brie* seconds when his lips were *ree, he whispered "y n "e. -hen 8 w s st rting to get diIIy, he p&lled w y, only to l y his e r g inst "y he rt. 8 l y there, d Ied, w iting *or "y g sping to slow nd H&iet. LBy the w y,L he s id in c s& l tone. L8F" not le ving yo&.L 8 didnFt s y nything, nd he see"ed to he r s$epticis" in "y silence. #e li*ted his * ce to loc$ "y g Ie in his. L8F" not going nywhere. Not witho&t yo&,L he dded "ore serio&sly. L8 only le*t yo& in the *irst pl ce bec &se 8 w nted yo& to h ve ch nce t nor" l, h ppy, h&" n li*e. 8 co&ld see wh t 8 w s doing to yo&3$eeping yo& const ntly on the edge o* d nger, t $ing yo& w y *ro" the world yo& belonged in, ris$ing yo&r li*e every "o"ent 8 w s with yo&. So 8 h d to try. 8 h d to do something, nd it see"ed li$e le ving w s the only w y. 8* 8 h dnFt tho&ght yo& wo&ld be better o**, 8 co&ld h ve never " de "ysel* le ve. 8F" "&ch too sel*ish. Enly you co&ld be "ore i"port nt th n wh t 8 w ntedN wh t 8 needed. -h t 8 w nt nd need is to be with yo&, nd 8 $now 8Fll never be strong eno&gh to le ve g in. 8 h ve too " ny exc&ses to st y3th n$ he ven *or th tM 8t see"s yo& can$t be s *e, no " tter how " ny "iles 8 p&t between &s.L LDonFt pro"ise "e nything,L 8 whispered. 8* 8 let "ysel* hope, nd it c "e to nothingN th t wo&ld $ill "e. -here ll those "erciless v "pires h d not been ble to *inish "e o**, hope wo&ld do the Job. Anger glinted "et llic in his bl c$ eyes. L+o& thin$ 8F" lying to yo& nowKL LNo3not lying.L 8 shoo$ "y he d, trying to thin$ it thro&gh coherently. To ex "ine the hypothesis th t he did love "e, while st ying obJective, clinic l, so 8 wo&ldnFt * ll into the tr p o* hoping. L+o& co&ld "e n itN now. B&t wh t bo&t to"orrow, when yo& thin$ bo&t ll the re sons yo& le*t in the *irst pl ceK Er next "onth, when 7 sper t $es sn p t "eKL #e *linched. 8 tho&ght b c$ over those l st d ys o* "y li*e be*ore he le*t "e, tried to see the" thro&gh the *ilter o* wh t he w s telling "e now. /ro" th t perspective, i" gining th t heFd le*t "e while loving "e, le*t me for "e, his brooding nd cold silences too$ on di**erent "e ning. L8t isnFt s i* yo& h dnFt tho&ght the *irst decision thro&gh, is itKL 8 g&essed. L+o&Fll end &p doing wh t yo& thin$ is right.L L8F" not s strong s yo& give "e credit *or,L he s id. LBight nd wrong h ve ce sed to "e n "&ch to "eG 8 w s co"ing b c$ nyw y. Be*ore Bos lie told "e the news, 8 w s lre dy p st trying to live thro&gh one wee$ t ti"e, or even one d y. 8 w s *ighting to " $e it thro&gh single ho&r. 8t w s only " tter o* ti"e3 nd not "&ch o* it3be*ore 8 showed &p t yo&r window nd begged yo& to t $e "e b c$. 8Fd be h ppy to beg now, i* yo&Fd li$e th t.L 8 gri" ced. LBe serio&s, ple se.L
LEh, 8 ",L he insisted, gl ring now. L-ill yo& ple se try to he r wh t 8F" telling yo&K -ill yo& let "e tte"pt to expl in wh t yo& "e n to "eKL #e w ited, st&dying "y * ce s he spo$e to " $e s&re 8 w s re lly listening. LBe*ore yo&, Bell , "y li*e w s li$e "oonless night. ,ery d r$, b&t there were st rs3points o* light nd re sonN And then yo& shot cross "y s$y li$e "eteor. S&ddenly everything w s on *ireG there w s brilli ncy, there w s be &ty. -hen yo& were gone, when the "eteor h d * llen over the horiIon, everything went bl c$. Nothing h d ch nged, b&t "y eyes were blinded by the light. 8 co&ldnFt see the st rs ny"ore. And there w s no "ore re son *or nything.L 8 w nted to believe hi". B&t this w s my li*e witho&t him th t he w s describing, not the other w y ro&nd. L+o&r eyes will dJ&st,L 8 "&"bled. LTh tFs J&st the proble"3they c nFt.L L-h t bo&t yo&r distr ctionsKL #e l &ghed witho&t tr ce o* h&"or. L7&st p rt o* the lie, love. There w s no distr ction *ro" theN the agony. My he rt h snFt be t in l"ost ninety ye rs, b&t this w s di**erent. 8t w s li$e "y he rt w s gone3li$e 8 w s hollow. Li$e 8Fd le*t everything th t w s inside "e here with yo&.L LTh tFs *&nny,L 8 "&ttered. #e rched one per*ect eyebrow. L/&nnyK L L8 "e nt str nge38 tho&ght it w s J&st "e. Lots o* pieces o* "e went "issing, too. 8 h venFt been ble to re lly bre the in so long.L 8 *illed "y l&ngs, l&x&ri ting in the sens tion. LAnd "y he rt. Th t w s de*initely lost.L #e closed his eyes nd l id his e r over "y he rt g in. 8 let "y chee$ press g inst his h ir, *elt the text&re o* it on "y s$in, s"elled the delicio&s scent o* hi". LTr c$ing w snFt distr ction thenKL 8 s$ed, c&rio&s, nd lso needing to distr ct myself. 8 w s very "&ch in d nger o* hoping. 8 wo&ldnFt be ble to stop "ysel* *or long. My he rt throbbed, singing in "y chest. LNo.L #e sighed. LTh t w s never distr ction. 8t w s n oblig tion.L L-h t does th t "e nKL L8t "e ns th t, even tho&gh 8 never expected ny d nger *ro" ,ictori , 8 w snFt going to let her get w y withN -ell, li$e 8 s id, 8 w s horrible t it. 8 tr ced her s * r s Tex s, b&t then 8 *ollowed * lse le d down to Br Iil3 nd re lly she c "e here.L #e gro ned. L8 w snFt even on the right continentM And ll the while, worse th n "y worst *e rs3L L+o& were h&nting "ictoriaKL 8 h l*6shrie$ed s soon s 8 co&ld *ind "y voice, shooting thro&gh two oct ves.
!h rlieFs dist nt snores st&ttered, nd then pic$ed &p reg&l r rhyth" g in. LNot well,L 0dw rd nswered, st&dying "y o&tr ged expression with con*&sed loo$. LB&t 8Fll do better this ti"e. She wonFt be t inting per*ectly good ir by bre thing in nd o&t *or "&ch longer.L LTh t isN o&t o* the H&estion,L 8 " n ged to cho$e o&t. 8ns nity. 0ven i* he h d 0""ett or 7 sper help hi". 0ven i* he h d 0""ett and 7 sper help. 8t w s worse th n "y other i" giningsO 7 cob Bl c$ st nding cross s" ll sp ce *ro" ,ictori Fs vicio&s nd *eline *ig&re. 8 co&ldnFt be r to pict&re 0dw rd there, even tho&gh he w s so "&ch "ore d&r ble th n "y h l*6h&" n best *riend. L8tFs too l te *or her. 8 "ight h ve let the other ti"e slide, b&t not now, not *ter3L 8 interr&pted hi" g in, trying to so&nd c l". LDidnFt yo& J&st pro"ise th t yo& werenFt going to le veKL 8 s$ed, *ighting the words s 8 s id the", nor letting the" pl nt the"selves in "y he rt. LTh t isnFt ex ctly co"p tible with n extended tr c$ing expedition, is itKL #e *rowned. A sn rl beg n to b&ild low in his chest. L8 will $eep "y pro"ise, Bell . B&t ,ictori L3the sn rl bec "e "ore prono&nced3Lis going to die. Soon.L LLetFs not be h sty,L 8 s id, trying to hide "y p nic. LM ybe sheFs not co"ing b c$. 7 $eFs p c$ prob bly sc red her o**. ThereFs re lly no re son to go loo$ing *or her. Besides, 8Fve got bigger proble"s th n ,ictori .L 0dw rdFs eyes n rrowed, b&t he nodded. L8tFs tr&e. The werewolves re proble".L 8 snorted. L8 w snFt t l$ing bo&t (acob. My proble"s re lot worse th t h nd*&l o* dolescent wolves getting the"selves into tro&ble.L 0dw rd loo$ed s i* he were bo&t to s y so"ething, nd then tho&ght better o* it. #is teeth clic$ed together, nd he spo$e thro&gh the". LBe llyKL he s$ed. LThen wh t wo&ld be yo&r gre test proble"K Th t wo&ld " $e ,ictori Fs ret&rning *or yo& see" li$e s&ch n inconseH&enti l " tter in co"p risonKL L#ow bo&t the second gre testKL 8 hedged. LAll right,L he greed, s&spicio&s. 8 p &sed. 8 w snFt s&re 8 co&ld s y the n "e. LThere re others who re co"ing to loo$ *or "e,L 8 re"inded hi" in s&bd&ed whisper. #e sighed, b&t the re ction w s not s strong s 8 wo&ld h ve i" gined *ter his response to ,ictori . LThe ,olt&ri re only the second gre testKL L+o& donFt see" th t &pset bo&t it,L 8 noted. L-ell, we h ve plenty o* ti"e to thin$ it thro&gh. Ti"e "e ns so"ething very di**erent to the" th n it does to yo&, or even "e. They co&nt ye rs the w y yo& co&nt d ys. 8 wo&ldnFt be s&rprised i* yo& were thirty be*ore yo& crossed their "inds g in,L he dded lightly.
#orror w shed thro&gh "e. Thirty. So his pro"ises "e nt nothing, in the end. 8* 8 were going to t&rn thirty so"ed y, then he co&ldnFt be pl nning on st ying long. The h rsh p in o* this $nowledge " de "e re liIe th t 8Fd lre dy beg&n to hope, witho&t giving "ysel* per"ission to do <.0. L+o& donFt h ve to be *r id,L he s id, nxio&s s he w tched the te rs dew &p g in on the ri"s o* "y eyes. L8 wonFt let the" h&rt yo&.L L-hile yo&Fre here.L Not th t 8 c red wh t h ppened to "e when he le*t. #e too$ "y * ce between his two stone h nds, holding it tightly while his "idnight eyes gl red into "ine with the gr vit tion l *orce o* bl c$ hole. L8 will never le ve yo& g in.L LB&t yo& s id thirty,L 8 whispered. The te rs le $ed over the edge. L-h tK +o&Fre going to st y, b&t let "e get ll old nyw yK Bight.L #is eyes so*tened, while his "o&th went h rd. LTh tFs ex ctly wh t 8F" going to do. -h t choice h ve 8K 8 c nnot be witho&t yo&, b&t 8 will not destroy yo&r so&l.L L8s this re llyNL 8 tried to $eep "y voice even, b&t this H&estion w s too h rd. 8 re"e"bered his * ce when Aro h d l"ost begged hi" to consider " $ing "e i""ort l. The sic$ loo$ there. - s this *ix tion with $eeping "e h&" n re lly bo&t "y so&l, or w s it bec &se he w snFt s&re th t he w nted "e ro&nd th t longK L+esKL he s$ed, w iting *or "y H&estion. 8 s$ed di**erent one. Al"ost3b&t not H&ite3 s h rd. LB&t wh t bo&t when 8 get so old th t people thin$ 8F" yo&r "otherK +o&r grandmotherKL My voice w s p le with rev&lsion38 co&ld see %r nFs * ce g in in the dre " "irror. #is whole * ce w s so*t now. #e br&shed the te rs *ro" "y chee$ with his lips. LTh t doesnFt "e n nything to "e,L he bre thed g inst "y s$in. L+o& will lw ys be the "ost be &ti*&l thing in "y world. E* co&rseNL #e hesit ted, *linching slightly. L8* yo& o&tgrew me3i* yo& w nted so"ething "ore38 wo&ld &nderst nd th t, Bell . 8 pro"ise 8 wo&ldnFt st nd in yo&r w y i* yo& w nted to le ve "e.L #is eyes were liH&id onyx nd &tterly sincere. #e spo$e s i* heFd p&t endless "o&nts o* tho&ght into this sinine pl n. L+o& do re liIe th t 8Fll die event& lly, rightKL 8 de" nded. #eFd tho&ght bo&t this p rt, too. L8Fll *ollow *ter s soon s 8 c n.L LTh t is serio&slyNL8 loo$ed *or the right word. LSic$.L LBell , itFs the only right w y le*t3L
LLetFs J&st b c$ &p *or "in&te,L 8 s idG *eeling ngry " de it so "&ch e sier to be cle r, decisive. L+o& do re"e"ber the ,olt&ri, rightK 8 c nFt st y h&" n *orever. TheyFll $ill "e. 0ven i* they donFt thin$ o* "e till 8F" thirty,38 hissed the word3Ldo yo& re lly thin$ theyFll *orgetKL LNo,L he nswered slowly, sh $ing his he d. LThey wonFt *orget. B&tNL LB&tKL #e grinned while 8 st red t hi" w rily. M ybe 8 w snFt the only cr Iy one. L8 h ve *ew pl ns.L LAnd these pl ns,L 8 s id, "y voice getting "ore cidic with e ch word. LThese pl ns ll center ro&nd "e st ying human.L My ttit&de h rdened his expression. LN t&r lly.L #is tone w s br&sH&e, his divine * ce rrog nt. -e glowered t e ch other *or long "in&te. Then 8 too$ deep bre th, sH& red "y sho&lders, 8 p&shed his r"s w y so th t 8 co&ld sit &p. LDo yo& w nt "e to le veKL he s$ed, nd it " de "y he rt *l&tter to see th t this ide h&rt hi", tho&gh he tried not to show it. LNo,L 8 told hi". LI$m le ving.L #e w tched "e s&spicio&sly s 8 cli"bed o&t o* the bed nd *&"bled ro&nd in the d r$ roo", loo$ing *or "y shoes. LM y 8 s$ where yo& re going.FL he s$ed. L8F" going to yo&r ho&se,L 8 told hi", still *eeling ro&nd blindly. #e got &p nd c "e to "y side. L#ere re yo&r shoes. #ow did yo& pl n to get thereKL LMy tr&c$.L LTh t will prob bly w $e !h rlie,L he o**ered s deterrent. 8 sighed. L8 $now. B&t honestly, 8Fll be gro&nded *or wee$s s it is. #ow "&ch "ore tro&ble c n 8 re lly get inKL LNone. #eFll bl "e "e, not yo&.L L8* yo& h ve better ide , 8F" ll e rs.L LSt y here,L he s&ggested, b&t his expression w snFt hope*&l. LNo dice. B&t yo& go he d nd " $e yo&rsel* t ho"e,L 8 enco&r ged, s&rprised t how n t&r l "y te sing so&nded, nd he ded *or the door. #e w s there be*ore "e, bloc$ing "y w y.
8 *rowned, nd t&rned *or the window. 8t w snFt re lly th t * r to the gro&nd, nd it w s "ostly gr ss bene thN LE$ y,L he sighed. L8Fll give yo& ride.L 8 shr&gged. L0ither w y. B&t yo& prob bly should be there, too.L LAnd why is th tKL LBec &se yo&Fre extr ordin rily opinion ted, nd 8F" s&re yo&Fll w nt ch nce to ir yo&r views.L LMy views on which s&bJectKL #e s$ed thro&gh his teeth. LThis isnFt J&st bo&t yo& ny"ore. +o&Fre not the center o* the &niverse, yo& $now.L My own person l &niverse w s, o* co&rse, di**erent story. L8* yo&Fre going to bring the ,olt&ri down on &s over so"ething s st&pid s le ving "e h&" n, then yo&r * "ily o&ght to h ve s y.L LA s y in wh tKL he s$ed, e ch word distinct. LMy "ort lity. 8F" p&tting it to vote.L
24. VOTE
#0 -AS NET ?L0AS0D, T#AT M'!# -AS 0AS+ TE B0AD in his * ce. B&t, witho&t *&rther rg&"ent, he too$ "e in his r"s nd spr ng lithely *ro" "y window, l nding witho&t the slightest Jolt, li$e c t. 8t as little bit * rther down th n 8Fd i" gined. LAll right then,L he s id, his voice seething with dis pprov l. L'p yo& go.L #e helped "e onto his b c$, nd too$ o** r&nning. 0ven *ter ll this ti"e, it *elt ro&tine. 0 sy. 0vidently this w s so"ething yo& never *orgot, li$e riding bicycle. 8t w s so very H&iet nd d r$ s he r n thro&gh the *orest, his bre thing slow nd even3d r$ eno&gh th t the trees *lying p st &s were ne rly invisible, nd only the r&sh o* ir in "y * ce tr&ly g ve w y o&r speed. The ir w s d "pG it didnFt b&rn "y eyes the w y the wind in the big pl I h d, nd th t w s co"*orting. As w s the night, too, *ter th t terri*ying brightness. Li$e the thic$ H&ilt 8Fd pl yed &nder s child, the d r$ *elt * "ili r nd protecting. 8 re"e"bered th t r&nning thro&gh the *orest li$e this &sed to *righten "e, th t 8 &sed to h ve to close "y eyes. 8t see"ed silly re ction to "e now. 8 $ept "y eyes wide, "y chin resting on his sho&lder, "y chee$ g inst his nec$. The speed w s exhil r ting. A h&ndred ti"es better th n the "otorcycle. 8 t&rned "y * ce tow rd hi" nd pressed "y lips into the cold stone s$in o* his nec$.
LTh n$ yo&,L he s id, s the v g&e, bl c$ sh pes o* trees r ced p st &s. LDoes th t "e n yo&Fve decided yo&Fre w $eKL 8 l &ghed. The so&nd w s e sy, n t&r l, e**ortless. 8t so&nded right. LNot re lly. More th t, either w y, 8F" not trying to w $e &p. Not tonight.L L8Fll e rn yo&r tr&st b c$ so"ehow,L he "&r"&red, "ostly to hi"sel*. L8* itFs "y *in l ct.L L8 tr&st you,L 8 ss&red hi". L8tFs "e 8 donFt tr&st.L L0xpl in th t, ple se.L #eFd slowed to w l$38 co&ld only tell bec &se the wind ce sed3 nd 8 g&essed th t we werenFt * r *ro" the ho&se. 8n * ct, 8 tho&ght 8 co&ld " $e o&t the so&nd o* the river r&shing so"ewhere close by in the d r$ness. L-ell3L 8 str&ggled to *ind the right w y to phr se it. L8 donFt tr&st "ysel* to beN eno&gh. To deserve yo&. ThereFs nothing bo&t "e th t co&ld hold yo&.L #e stopped nd re ched ro&nd to p&ll "e *ro" his b c$. #is gentle h nds did not rele se "eG *ter heFd set "e on "y *eet g in, he wr pped his r"s tightly ro&nd "e, h&gging "e to his chest. L+o&r hold is per" nent nd &nbre $ ble,L he whispered. LNever do&bt th t.L B&t how co&ld 8 notK L+o& never did tell "eNL he "&r"&red. L-h tKL L-h t yo&r gre test proble" is.L L8Fll give yo& one g&ess.L 8 sighed, nd re ched &p to to&ch the tip o* his nose with "y index *inger. #e nodded. L8F" worse th n the ,olt&ri,L he s id gri"ly. L8 g&ess 8Fve e rned th t.L 8 rolled "y eyes. LThe worst the ,olt&ri c n do is $ill "e.L #e w ited with tense eyes. L+o& c n le ve "e,L 8 expl ined. LThe ,olt&ri, ,ictori N theyFre nothing co"p red to th t.L 0ven in the d r$ness, 8 co&ld see the ng&ish twist his * ce3it re"inded "e o* his expression &nder 7 neFs tort&ring g IeG 8 *elt sic$, nd regretted spe $ing the tr&th. LDonFt,L 8 whispered, to&ching his * ce. LDonFt be s d.L #e p&lled one corner o* his "o&th &p h l*he rtedly, b&t the expression didnFt to&ch his eyes. L8* there w s only so"e w y to " $e yo& see th t 8 can$t le ve yo&,L he whispered. LTi"e, 8 s&ppose, will be the w y to convince yo&.L
8 li$ed the ide o* ti"e. LE$ y,L 8 greed. #is * ce w s still tor"ented. 8 tried to distr ct hi" with inconseH&enti ls. LSo3since yo&Fre st ying. ! n 8 h ve "y st&** b c$KL 8 s$ed, " $ing "y tone s light s 8 co&ld " n ge. My tte"pt wor$ed, to n extentO he l &ghed. B&t his eyes ret ined the "isery. L+o&r things were never gone,L he told "e. L8 $new it w s wrong, since 8 pro"ised yo& pe ce witho&t re"inders. 8t w s st&pid nd childish, b&t 8 w nted to le ve so"ething o* "ysel* with yo&. The !D, the pict&res, the tic$ets3theyFre ll &nder yo&r *loorbo rds.L ,)eally7, #e nodded, see"ing slightly cheered by "y obvio&s ple s&re in this trivi l * ct. 8t w snFt eno&gh to he l the p in in his * ce co"pletely. L8 thin$,L 8 s id slowly, L8F" not s&re, b&t 8 wonderN 8 thin$ " ybe 8 $new it the whole ti"e.L L-h t did yo& $nowKL 8 only w nted to t $e w y the gony in his eyes, b&t s 8 spo$e the words, they so&nded tr&er th n 8 expected they wo&ld. LSo"e p rt o* "e, "y s&bconscio&s " ybe, never stopped believing th t yo& still c red whether 8 lived or died. Th tFs prob bly why 8 w s he ring the voices.L There w s very deep silence *or "o"ent. L,oicesKL he s$ed *l tly. L-ell, J&st one voice. +o&rs. 8tFs long story.L The w ry loo$ on his * ce " de "e wish th t 8 h dnFt bro&ght th t &p. -o&ld he thin$ 8 w s cr Iy, li$e everyone elseK - s everyone else right bo&t th tK B&t t le st th t expression3the one th t " de hi" loo$ li$e so"ething w s b&rning hi"3* ded. L8Fve got ti"e.L #is voice w s &nn t&r lly even. L8tFs pretty p thetic.L #e w ited. 8 w snFt s&re how to expl in. LDo yo& re"e"ber wh t Alice s id bo&t extre"e sportsKL #e spo$e the words witho&t in*lection or e"ph sis. L+o& J&"ped o** cli** *or *&n.L L0r, right. And be*ore th t, with the "otorcycle3L LMotorcycleKL he s$ed. 8 $new his voice well eno&gh to he r so"ething brewing behind the c l". L8 g&ess 8 didnFt tell Alice bo&t th t p rt.L LNo.L
L-ell, bo&t th tN See, 8 *o&nd th tN when 8 w s doing so"ething d ngero&s or st&pidN 8 co&ld re"e"ber yo& "ore cle rly,L 8 con*essed, *eeling co"pletely "ent l. L8 co&ld re"e"ber how yo&r voice so&nded when yo& were ngry. 8 co&ld he r it, li$e yo& were st nding right there next to "e. Mostly 8 tried not to thin$ bo&t yo&, b&t this didnFt h&rt so "&ch3it w s li$e yo& were protecting "e g in. Li$e yo& didnFt w nt "e to be h&rt. LAnd, well, 8 wonder i* the re son 8 co&ld he r yo& so cle rly w s bec &se, &nderne th it ll. 8 lw ys $new th t yo& h dnFt stopped loving "e.L Ag in, s 8 spo$e, the words bro&ght with the" sense o* conviction. E* rightness. So"e deep pl ce inside "e recogniIed tr&th. #is words c "e o&t h l*6str ngled. L+o&N wereN ris$ing yo&r li*eN to he r3L LShh,L 8 interr&pted hi". L#old on second. 8 thin$ 8F" h ving n epiph ny here.L 8 tho&ght o* th t night in ?ort Angeles when 8Fd h d "y *irst del&sion. 8Fd co"e &p with two options. 8ns nity or wish *&l*ill"ent. 8Fd seen no third option. B&t wh t i*N -h t i* yo& sincerely believed so"ething w s tr&e, b&t yo& were de d wrongK -h t i* yo& were so st&bbornly s&re th t yo& were right, th t yo& wo&ldnFt even consider the tr&thK -o&ld the tr&th be silenced, or wo&ld it try to bre $ thro&ghK Eption threeO 0dw rd loved "e. The bond *orged between &s w s not one th t co&ld be bro$en by bsence, dist nce, or ti"e. And no " tter how "&ch "ore speci l or be &ti*&l or brilli nt or per*ect th n "e he "ight be, he w s s irreversibly ltered s 8 w s. As 8 wo&ld lw ys belong to hi", so wo&ld he lw ys be "ine. - s th t wh t 8Fd been trying to tell "ysel*K LEhML LBell KL LEh. E$ y. 8 see.L L+o&r epiph nyKL he s$ed, his voice &neven nd str ined. L+o& love "e,L 8 " rveled. The sense o* conviction nd Tightness w shed thro&gh "e g in. Tho&gh his eyes were still nxio&s, the croo$ed s"ile 8 loved best *l shed cross his * ce. LTr&ly, 8 do.L My he rt in*l ted li$e it w s going to cr c$ right thro&gh "y ribs. 8t *illed "y chest nd bloc$ed "y thro t so th t 8 co&ld not spe $. #e re lly did w nt "e the w y 8 w nted hi"3*orever. 8t as only *e r *or "y so&l, *or the h&" n things he didnFt w nt to t $e *ro" "e, th t " de hi" so desper te to le ve "e "ort l. !o"p red to the *e r th t he didnFt w nt "e, this h&rdle3"y so&l3see"ed l"ost insigni*ic nt.
#e too$ "y * ce tightly between his cool h nds nd $issed "e &ntil 8 w s so diIIy the *orest w s spinning. Then he le ned his *orehe d g inst "ine, nd 8 w s not the only one bre thing h rder th n &s& l. L+o& were better t it th n 8 w s, yo& $now,L he told "e. LBetter t wh tKL LS&rviving. +o&, t le st, " de n e**ort. +o& got &p in the "orning, tried to be nor" l *or !h rlie, *ollowed the p ttern o* yo&r li*e. -hen 8 w snFt ctively tr c$ing, 8 w sN tot lly &seless. 8 co&ldnFt be ro&nd "y * "ily38 co&ldnFt be ro&nd nyone. 8F" e"b rr ssed to d"it th t 8 "ore or less c&rled &p into b ll nd let the "isery h ve "e.L #e grinned, sheepish. L8t w s "&ch "ore p thetic th n he ring voices. And, o* co&rse, yo& $now 8 do th t, too.L 8 w s deeply relieved th t he re lly see"ed to &nderst nd3co"*orted th t this ll " de sense to hi". At ny r te, he w snFt loo$ing t "e li$e 8 w s cr Iy. #e w s loo$ing t "e li$eN he loved "e. L8 only he rd one voice,L 8 corrected hi". #e l &ghed nd then p&lled "e tight g inst his right side nd st rted to le d "e *orw rd. L8F" J&st h&"oring yo& with this.L #e "otioned bro dly with his h nd tow rd the d r$ness in *ront o* &s s we w l$ed. There w s so"ething p le nd i""ense there3the ho&se, 8 re liIed. L8t doesnFt " tter in the slightest wh t they s y.L LThis **ects the" now, too.L #e shr&gged indi**erently. #e led "e thro&gh the open *ront door into the d r$ ho&se nd *lipped the lights on. The roo" w s J&st s 8Fd re"e"bered it3the pi no nd the white co&ches nd the p le, " ssive st irc se. No d&st, no white sheets. 0dw rd c lled o&t the n "es with no "ore vol&"e th n 8Fd &se in reg&l r convers tion. L! rlisleK 0s"eK Bos lieK 0""ettK 7 sperK AliceKL They wo&ld he r. ! rlisle w s s&ddenly st nding beside "e, s i* heFd been there ll long. L-elco"e b c$, Bell .L #e s"iled. L-h t c n we do *or yo& this "orningK 8 i" gine, d&e to the ho&r, th t this is not p&rely soci l visitKL 8 nodded. L8Fd li$e to t l$ to everyone t once, i* th tFs o$ y. Abo&t so"ething i"port nt.L 8 co&ldnFt help gl ncing &p t 0dw rdFs * ce s 8 spo$e. #is expression w s critic l, b&t resigned. -hen 8 loo$ed b c$ to ! rlisle, he w s loo$ing t 0dw rd, too. LE* co&rse,L ! rlisle s id. L-hy donFt we t l$ in the other roo"KL ! rlisle led the w y thro&gh the bright living roo", ro&nd the corner to the dining roo", t&rning on lights s he went. The w lls were white, the ceilings high, li$e the living roo". 8n the center o* the roo", &nder the low6h nging ch ndelier, w s l rge, polished ov l t ble s&rro&nded by eight ch irs. ! rlisle held o&t ch ir *or "e t the he d.
8Fd never seen the !&llens &se the dining roo" t ble be*ore3it w s J&st prop. They didnFt e t in the ho&se. As soon s 8 t&rned to sit in the ch ir, 8 s w th t we were not lone. 0s"e h d *ollowed 0dw rd, nd behind her the rest o* the * "ily *iled in. ! rlisle s t down on "y right, nd 0dw rd on "y le*t. 0veryone else too$ their se ts in silence. Alice w s grinning t "e, lre dy in on the plot. 0""ett nd 7 sper loo$ed c&rio&s, nd Bos lie s"iled t "e tent tively. My nswering s"ile w s J&st s ti"id. Th t w s going to t $e so"e getting &sed to. ! rlisle nodded tow rd "e. LThe *loor is yo&rs.L 8 sw llowed. Their g Iing eyes " de "e nervo&s. 0dw rd too$ "y h nd &nder the t ble. 8 pee$ed t hi", b&t he w s w tching the others, his * te s&ddenly *ierce. L-ell,L 8 p &sed. L8F" hoping Alice h s lre dy told yo& everything th t h ppened in ,olterr KL L0verything,L Alice ss&red "e. 8 threw her "e ning*&l loo$. LAnd on the w yKL LTh t, too,L she nodded. L%ood,L 8 sighed with relie*. LThen weFre ll on the s "e p ge.L They w ited p tiently while 8 tried to order "y tho&ghts. LSo, 8 h ve proble",L 8 beg n. LAlice pro"ised the ,olt&ri th t 8 wo&ld beco"e one o* yo&. TheyFre going to send so"eone to chec$, nd 8F" s&re th tFs b d thing3so"ething to void. LAnd so, now, this involves yo& ll. 8F" sorry bo&t th t.L 8 loo$ed t e ch one o* their be &ti*&l * ces, s ving the "ost be &ti*&l *or l st. 0dw rdFs "o&th w s t&rned down into gri" ce. LB&t, i* yo& donFt w nt "e, then 8F" not going to *orce "ysel* on yo&, whether Alice is willing or not.L 0s"e opened her "o&th to spe $, b&t 8 held &p one *inger to stop her. L?le se, let "e *inish. +o& ll $now wh t 8 w nt. And 8F" s&re yo& $now wh t 0dw rd thin$s, too. 8 thin$ the only * ir w y to decide is *or everyone to h ve vote. 8* yo& decide yo& donFt w nt "e, thenN 8 g&ess 8Fll go b c$ to 8t ly lone. 8 c nFt h ve them co"ing here.L My *orehe d cre sed s 8 considered th t. There w s the * int r&"ble o* growl in 0dw rdFs chest. 8 ignored hi". LT $ing into cco&nt, then, th t 8 wonFt p&t ny o* yo& in d nger either w y, 8 w nt yo& to vote yes or no on the iss&e o* "e beco"ing v "pire.L 8 h l*6s"iled on the l st word, nd gest&red tow rd ! rlisle to begin. L7&st "in&te,L 0dw rd interr&pted. 8 gl red t hi" thro&gh n rrowed eyes. #e r ised his eyebrows t "e, sH&eeIing "y h nd.
L8 h ve so"ething to dd be*ore we vote.L 8 sighed. LAbo&t the d nger Bell Fs re*erring to,L he contin&ed. L8 donFt thin$ we need to be overly nxio&s.L #is expression bec "e "ore ni" ted. #e p&t his *ree h nd on the shining t ble nd le ned *orw rd. L+o& see,L he expl ined, loo$ing ro&nd the t ble while he spo$e, Lthere w s "ore th n one re son why 8 didnFt w nt to sh $e AroFs h nd there t the end. ThereFs so"ething they didnFt thin$ o*, nd 8 didnFt w nt to cine the" in.L #e grinned. L-hich w sKL Alice prodded. 8 w s s&re "y expression w s J&st s s$eptic l s hers. LThe ,olt&ri re overcon*ident, nd with good re son. -hen they decide to *ind so"eone, itFs not re lly proble". Do yo& re"e"ber De"etriKL #e gl nced down t "e. 8 sh&ddered. #e too$ th t s yes. L#e *inds people3th tFs his t lent, why they $eep hi". LNow, the whole ti"e we were with ny o* the", 8 w s pic$ing their br ins *or nything th t "ight s ve &s, getting s "&ch in*or" tion s possible. So 8 s w how De"etriFs t lent wor$s. #eFs tr c$er3 tr c$er tho&s nd ti"es "ore gi*ted th n 7 rres w s. #is bility is loosely rel ted to wh t 8 do, or wh t Aro does. #e c tches theN *l vorK 8 donFt $now how to describe itN the tenorN o* so"eoneFs "ind, nd then he *ollows th t. 8t wor$s over i""ense dist nces. LB&t *ter AroFs little experi"ents, wellNL 0dw rd shr&gged. L+o& thin$ he wonFt be ble to *ind "e,L 8 s id *l tly. #e w s s"&g. L8F" s&re o* it. #e relies tot lly on th t other sense. -hen it doesnFt wor$ with yo&, theyFll ll be blind.L LAnd how does th t solve nythingKL LA&ite obvio&sly, Alice will be ble to tell when theyFre pl nning visit, nd 8Fll hide yo&. TheyFll be helpless,L he s id with *ierce enJoy"ent. L8t will be li$e loo$ing *or piece o* str w in h yst c$ML #e nd 0""ett exch nged gl nce nd s"ir$. This " de no sense. LB&t they c n *ind yo&,L 8 re"inded hi". LAnd 8 c n t $e c re o* "ysel*.L 0""ett l &ghed, nd re ched cross the t ble tow rd his brother, extending *ist. L0xcellent pl n, "y brother,L he s id with enth&si s".
0dw rd stretched o&t his r" to s" c$ 0""ettFs *ist with his own. LNo,L Bos lie hissed. LAbsol&tely not,L 8 greed. LNice.L 7 sperFs voice w s ppreci tive. L8diots,L Alice "&ttered. 0s"e J&st gl red t 0dw rd. 8 str ightened &p in "y ch ir, *oc&sing. This w s my "eeting. LAll right, then. 0dw rd h s o**ered n ltern tive *or yo& to consider,L 8 s id coolly. LLetFs vote.L 8 loo$ed tow rd 0dw rd this ti"eG it wo&ld be better to get his opinion o&t o* the w y. LDo yo& w nt "e to Join yo&r * "ilyKL #is eyes were h rd nd bl c$ s *lint. LNot th t w y. +o&Fre st ying h&" n.L 8 nodded once, $eeping "y * ce b&sinessli$e, nd then "oved on. LAliceKL L+es.L L7 sperKL L+es,L he s id, voice gr ve. 8 w s little s&rprised38 h dnFt been t ll s&re o* his vote3b&t 8 s&ppressed "y re ction nd "oved on. LBos lieKL She hesit ted, biting down on her *&ll, per*ect botto" lip. LNo.L 8 $ept "y * ce bl n$ nd t&rned "y he d slightly to "ove on, b&t she held &p both her h nds, p l"s *orw rd. LLet "e expl in,L she ple ded. L8 donFt "e n th t 8 h ve ny version to yo& s sister. 8tFs J&st th tN this is not the li*e 8 wo&ld h ve chosen *or "ysel*. 8 wish there h d been so"eone there to vote no *or "e.L 8 nodded slowly, nd then t&rned to 0""ett. L#ell, yesML #e grinned. L-e c n *ind so"e other w y to pic$ *ight with this De"etri.L 8 w s still gri" cing t th t when 8 loo$ed t 0s"e. L+es, o* co&rse, Bell . 8 lre dy thin$ o* yo& s p rt o* "y * "ily.L
LTh n$ yo&, 0s"e,L 8 "&r"&red s 8 t&rned tow rd ! rlisle. 8 w s s&ddenly nervo&s, wishing 8 h d s$ed *or his vote *irst. 8 w s s&re th t this w s the vote th t " ttered "ost, the vote th t co&nted "ore th n ny " Jority. ! rlisle w snFt loo$ing t "e. L0dw rd,L he s id. LNo,L 0dw rd growled. #is J w w s str ined tight, his lips c&rled b c$ *ro" his teeth. L8tFs the only w y th t " $es sense,L ! rlisle insisted. L+o&Fve chosen not to live witho&t her, nd th t doesnFt le ve "e choice.L 0dw rd dropped "y h nd, shoving w y *ro" the t ble. #e st l$ed o&t o* the roo", sn rling &nder his bre th. L8 g&ess yo& $now "y vote.L ! rlisle sighed. 8 w s still st ring *ter 0dw rd. LTh n$s,L 8 "&"bled. An e rsplitting cr sh echoed *ro" the other roo". 8 *linched, nd spo$e H&ic$ly. LTh tFs ll 8 needed. Th n$ yo&. /or w nting to $eep "e. 8 *eel ex ctly the s "e w y bo&t ll o* yo&, too.L My voice w s J gged with e"otion by the end. 0s"e w s t "y side in *l sh, her cold r"s ro&nd "e. LDe rest Bell ,L she bre thed. 8 h&gged her b c$. E&t o* the corner o* "y eye, 8 noticed Bos lie loo$ing down t the t ble, nd 8 re liIed th t "y words co&ld be constr&ed in two w ys. L-ell, Alice,L 8 s id when 0s"e rele sed "e. L-here do yo& w nt to do thisKL Alice st red t "e, her eyes widening with terror. LNoM NoM NEML 0dw rd ro red, ch rging b c$ into the roo". #e w s in "y * ce be*ore 8 h d ti"e to blin$, bending over "e, his expression twisted in r ge. LAre yo& ins neKL he sho&ted. L# ve yo& &tterly lost yo&r "indKL 8 cringed w y, "y h nds over "y e rs. L'", Bell ,L Alice interJected in n nxio&s voice. L8 donFt thin$ 8F" ready *or th t. 8Fll need to prep reNL L+o& pro"ised,L 8 re"inded her, gl ring &nder 0dw rdFs r". L8 $now, b&tN Serio&sly, Bell M 8 donFt h ve ny ide how to not $ill yo&.L L+o& c n do it,L 8 enco&r ged. L8 tr&st yo&.L
0dw rd sn rled in *&ry. Alice shoo$ her he d H&ic$ly, loo$ing p nic$ed. L! rlisleKL 8 t&rned to loo$ t hi". 0dw rd gr bbed "y * ce in his h nd, *orcing "e to loo$ t hi". #is other h nd w s o&t, p l" tow rd ! rlisle. ! rlisle ignored th t. L8F" ble to do it,L he nswered "y H&estion. 8 wished 8 co&ld see his expression. L+o& wo&ld be in no d nger o* "e losing control.L LSo&nds good.L 8 hoped he co&ld &nderst ndG it w s h rd to t l$ cle rly the w y 0dw rd held "y J w. L#old on,L 0dw rd s id between his teeth. L8t doesnFt h ve to be now.L LThereFs no re son *or it not to be now,L 8 s id, the words co"ing o&t distorted. L8 c n thin$ o* *ew.L LE* co&rse yo& c n,L 8 s id so&rly. LNow let go o* "e.L #e *reed "y * ce, nd *olded his r"s cross his chest. L8n bo&t two ho&rs, !h rlie will be here loo$ing *or yo&. 8 wo&ldnFt p&t it p st hi" to involve the police.L LAll three o* the".L B&t 8 *rowned. This w s lw ys the h rdest p rt. !h rlie, Benee. Now 7 cob, too. The people 8 wo&ld lose, the people 8 wo&ld h&rt. 8 wished there w s so"e w y th t 8 co&ld be the only one to s&**er, b&t 8 $new th t w s i"possible. At the s "e ti"e, 8 w s h&rting the" "ore by st ying h&" n. ?&tting !h rlie in const nt d nger thro&gh "y proxi"ity. ?&tting 7 $e in worse d nger still by dr wing his ene"ies cross the l nd he *elt bo&nd to protect. And Benee38 co&ldnFt even ris$ visit to see "y own "other *or *e r o* bringing "y de dly proble"s long with "eM 8 w s d nger " gnetG 8Fd ccepted th t bo&t "ysel*. Accepting this, 8 $new 8 needed to be ble to t $e c re o* "ysel* nd protect the ones 8 loved, even i* th t "e nt th t 8 co&ldnFt be ith the". 8 needed to be strong. L8n the interest o* re" ining inconspicuous,L 0dw rd s id, still t l$ing thro&gh his gritted teeth, b&t loo$ing t ! rlisle now, L8 s&ggest th t we p&t this convers tion o**, t the very le st &ntil Bell *inishes high school, nd "oves o&t o* !h rlieFs ho&se.L LTh tFs re son ble reH&est, Bell ,L ! rlisle pointed o&t. 8 tho&ght bo&t !h rlieFs re ction when he wo$e &p this "orning, i*3 *ter ll th t li*e h d p&t hi" thro&gh in the l st wee$ with # rryFs loss, nd then I h d p&t hi" thro&gh with "y &nexpl ined dis ppe r nce3he were to *ind "y bed e"pty. !h rlie deserved better th n th t. 8t w s J&st little "ore ti"eG gr d& tion w snFt so * r w yN
8 p&rsed "y lips. L8Fll consider it.L 0dw rd rel xed. #is J w &nclenched. L8 sho&ld prob bly t $e yo& ho"e,L he s id, "ore c l" now, b&t cle rly in h&rry to get "e o&t o* here. L7&st in c se !h rlie w $es &p e rly.L 8 loo$ed t ! rlisle. LA*ter gr d& tionKL L+o& h ve "y word.L 8 too$ deep bre th, s"iled, nd t&rned b c$ to 0dw rd. LE$ y. +o& c n t $e "e ho"e.L 0dw rd r&shed "e o&t o* the ho&se be*ore ! rlisle co&ld pro"ise "e nything else. #e too$ "e o&t the b c$, so 8 didnFt get to see wh t w s bro$en in the living roo". 8t w s H&iet trip ho"e. 8 w s *eeling tri&"ph nt, nd little s"&g. Sc red sti**, too, o* co&rse, b&t 8 tried not to thin$ bo&t th t p rt. 8t did "e no good to worry bo&t the p in3the physic l or the e"otion l3so 8 wo&ldnFt. Not &ntil 8 bsol&tely h d to. -hen we got to "y ho&se, 0dw rd didnFt p &se. #e d shed &p the w ll nd thro&gh "y window in h l* second. Then he p&lled "y r"s *rc" ro&nd his nec$ nd set "e on the bed. 8 tho&ght 8 h d pretty good ide o* wh t he w s thin$ing, b&t his expression s&rprised "e. 8nste d o* *&rio&s, it w s c lc&l ting. #e p ced silently b c$ nd *orth cross "y d r$ roo" while 8 w tched with growing s&spicion. L-h tever yo&Fre pl nning, itFs not going to wor$,L 8 told hi". LShh. 8F" thin$ing.L L'gh,L 8 gro ned, throwing "ysel* b c$ on the bed nd p&lling the H&ilt over "y he d. There w s no so&nd, b&t s&ddenly he w s there. #e *lipped the cover b c$ so he co&ld see "e. #e w s lying next to "e. #is h nd re ched &p to br&sh "y h ir *ro" "y chee$. L8* yo& donFt "ind, 8Fd "&ch r ther yo& didnFt hide yo&r * ce. 8Fve lived witho&t it *or s long s 8 c n st nd. NowN tell "e so"ething.L L-h tKL 8 s$ed, &nwilling. L8* yo& co&ld h ve nything in the world, nything t ll, wh t wo&ld it beKL 8 co&ld *eel the s$epticis" in "y eyes. L+o&.L #e shoo$ his he d i"p tiently. LSo"ething yo& donFt lre dy h ve.L 8 w snFt s&re where he w s trying to le d "e, so 8 tho&ght c re*&lly be*ore 8 nswered. 8 c "e &p with so"ething th t w s both tr&e, nd lso prob bly i"possible. L8 wo&ld w ntN ! rlisle not to h ve to do it. 8 wo&ld w nt you to ch nge "e.L
8 w tched his re ction w rily, expecting "ore o* the *&ry 8Fd seen t his ho&se. 8 w s s&rprised th t his expression didnFt ch nge. 8t w s still c lc&l ting, tho&ght*&l. L-h t wo&ld yo& be willing to tr de *or th tKL 8 co&ldnFt believe "y e rs. 8 g w$ed t his co"posed * ce nd bl&rted o&t the nswer be*ore 8 co&ld thin$ bo&t it. LAnything.L #e s"iled * intly, nd then p&rsed his lips. L/ive ye rsKL My * ce twisted into n expression so"ewhere between ch grin nd horror. L+o& s id nything,L he re"inded "e. L+es, b&tN yo&Fll &se the ti"e to *ind w y o&t o* it. 8 h ve to stri$e while the iron is hot. Besides, itFs J&st too d ngero&s to be h&" n3*or "e, t le st. So, nything b&t that.L #e *rowned. LThree ye rsKL LNoML L8snFt it worth nyrhing to yo& t llK L 8 tho&ght bo&t how "&ch 8 w nted this. Better to $eep po$er * ce, 8 decided, nd not let hi" $now how very "&ch th t w s. 8t wo&ld give "e "ore lever ge. LSix "onthsKL #e rolled his eyes. LNot good eno&gh.L LEne ye r, then,L 8 s id. LTh tFs "y li"it.L LAt le st give "e two.L LNo w y. Nineteen 8Fll do. B&t 8F" not going nywhere near twenty. 8* yo&Fre st ying in yo&r teens *orever, then so " 8.L #e tho&ght *or "in&te. LAll right. /orget ti"e li"its. 8* yo& w nt "e to be the one3then yo&Fll J&st h ve to "eet one condition.L L!onditionKL My voice went *l t. L-h t conditionKL #is eyes were c &tio&s3he spo$e slowly. LM rry "e *irst.L 8 st red t hi", w itingN LE$ y. -h tFs the p&nch lineKL #e sighed. L+o&Fre wo&nding "y ego, Bell . 8 J&st proposed to yo&, nd yo& thin$ itFs Jo$e.L L0dw rd, ple se be serio&s.L L8 " one h&ndred percent serio&s.L #e g Ied t "e with no hint o* h&"or in his * ce.
LEh, cF"on,L 8 s id, n edge o* hysteri in "y voice. L8F" only eighteen.L L-ell, 8F" ne rly h&ndred nd ten. 8tFs ti"e 8 settled down.L 8 loo$ed w y, o&t the d r$ window, trying to control the p nic be*ore it g ve "e w y. LLoo$, " rri ge isnFt ex ctly th t high on "y list o* priorities, yo& $nowK 8t w s sort o* the $iss o* de th *or Benee nd !h rlie.L L8nteresting choice o* words.L L+o& $now wh t 8 "e n.L #e inh led deeply. L?le se donFt tell "e th t yo&Fre *r id o* the co""it"ent,L his voice w s disbelieving, nd 8 &nderstood wh t he "e nt. LTh tFs not it ex ctly,L 8 hedged. L8F"N *r id o* Benee. She h s so"e re lly intense opinions on getting " rried be*ore yo&Fre thirty.L LBec &se sheFd r ther yo& bec "e one o* the etern l d "ned th n get " rried.L #e l &ghed d r$ly. L+o& thin$ yo&Fre Jo$ing.L LBell , i* yo& co"p re the level o* co""it"ent between " rit l &nion s opposed to b rtering yo&r so&l in exch nge *or n eternity s v "pireNL #e shoo$ his he d. L8* yo&Fre not br ve eno&gh to " rry "e, then3L L-ell,L 8 interr&pted. L-h t i* 8 didK -h t i* 8 told yo& to t $e "e to ,eg s nowK -o&ld 8 be v "pire in three d ysKL #e s"iled, his teeth *l shing in the d r$. LS&re,L he s id, c lling "y bl&**. L8Fll get "y c r.L LD ""it.L 8 "&ttered. L8Fll give yo& eighteen "onths.L LNo de l,L he s id, grinning. L8 li$e this condition.L L/ine. 8Fll h ve ! rlisle do it when 8 gr d& te.L L8* th tFs wh t yo& re lly w nt.L #e shr&gged, nd his s"ile bec "e bsol&tely ngelic. L+o&Fre i"possible,L 8 gro ned. LA "onster.L #e ch&c$led. L8s th t why yo& wonFt " rry "eKL 8 gro ned g in. #e le ned tow rd "eG his night6d r$ eyes "elted nd s"oldered nd sh ttered "y concentr tion. L*lease, Bell KL he bre thed. 8 *orgot how to bre the *or "o"ent. -hen 8 recovered, 8 shoo$ "y he d H&ic$ly, trying to cle r "y s&ddenly clo&ded "ind.
L-o&ld this h ve gone better i* 8 d h d ti"e to get ring.FL LNoM No ringsML 8 very ne rly sno&ted. LNow yo&Fve done it,L he whispered. LEops.L L!h rlieFs getting &pG 8Fd better le ve,L 0dw rd s id with resign tion. My he rt stopped be ting. #e g &ged "y expression *or second. L-o&ld it be childish o* "e to hide in yo&r closet, thenKL LNo,L 8 whispered e gerly. LSt y. ?le se.L 0dw rd s"iled nd dis ppe red. 8 seethed in the d r$ness s 8 w ited *or !h rlie to chec$ on "e. 0dw rd $new ex ctly wh t he w s doing, nd 8 w s willing to bet th t ll the inJ&red s&rprise w s p rt o* the ploy. E* co&rse, 8 still h d the ! rlisle option, b&t now th t 8 $new there w s ch nce th t 0dw rd wo&ld ch nge "e hi"sel*, 8 w nted it b d. #e w s s&ch che ter. My door cr c$ed open. LMorning, D d.L LEh, hey, Bell .L #e so&nded e"b rr ssed t getting c &ght. L8 didnFt $now yo& were w $e.L L+e h. 8Fve J&st been w iting ior yo& to w $e &p so 8 co&ld t $e shower.L 8 st rted to get &p. L#old on,L !h rlie s id, *lipping the light on. 8 blin$ed in the s&dden brightness, nd c re*&lly $ept "y eyes w y *ro" the closet. LLetFs t l$ *or "in&te *irst.L 8 co&ldnFt control "y gri" ce. 8Fd *orgotten to s$ Alice *or good exc&se. L+o& $now yo&Fre in tro&ble.L L+e h, 8 $now.L L8 J&st bo&t went cr Iy these l st three d ys. 8 co"e ho"e *ro" # rryFs funeral, nd yo&Fre gone. 7 cob co&ld only tell "e th t yo&Fd r&n o** with Alice !&llen, nd th t he tho&ght yo& were in tro&ble. +o& didnFt le ve "e n&"ber, nd yo& didnFt c ll. 8 didnFt $now where yo& were or when3or i*3yo& were co"ing b c$. Do yo& h ve ny ide howN howNL #e co&ldnFt *inish the sentence. #e s&c$ed in sh rp bre th nd "oved on. L! n yo& give "e one re son why 8 sho&ldnFt ship yo& o** to 7 c$sonville this secondKL My eyes n rrowed. So it w s going to be thre ts, w s itK Two co&ld pl y t th t g "e. 8 s t &p, p&lling the H&ilt ro&nd "e. LBec &se 8 wonFt go.L LNow J&st one "in&te, yo&ng l dy3L
LLoo$, D d, 8 ccept co"plete responsibility *or "y ctions, nd yo& h ve the right to gro&nd "e *or s long s yo& w nt. 8 will lso do ll the chores nd l &ndry nd dishes &ntil yo& thin$ 8Fve le rned "y lesson. And 8 g&ess yo&Fre within yo&r rights i* yo& w nt to $ic$ "e o&t, too3 b&t th t wonFt " $e "e to go to /lorid .L #is * ce t&rned bright red. #e too$ *ew deep bre ths be*ore he nswered. L-o&ld yo& li$e to expl in where yo&Fve beenKL Eh, cr p. LThere w sN n e"ergency.L #e r ised his eyebrows in expect tion o* "y brilli nt expl n tion. 8 *illed "y chee$s with ir nd then blew it o&t noisily. L8 donFt $now wh t to tell yo&, D d. 8t w s "ostly "is&nderst nding. #e s id, she s id. 8t got o&t o* h nd.L #e w ited with distr&st*&l expression. LSee, Alice told Bos lie bo&t "e J&"ping o** the cli**NL 8 w s scr "bling *r ntic lly to " $e this wor$, to $eep it s close to the tr&th s possible so th t "y in bility to lie convincingly wo&ld not &nder"ine the exc&se, b&t be*ore 8 co&ld go on, !h rlieFs expression re"inded "e th t he didnFt $now rything bo&t the cli**. M Jor oops. As i* 8 w snFt lre dy to st. L8 g&ess 8 didnFt tell yo& bo&t th t,L 8 cho$ed o&t. L8t w s nothing. 7&st "essing ro&nd, swi""ing with 7 $e. Anyw y, Bos lie told 0dw rd, nd he w s &pset. She sort o* ccident lly " de it so&nd li$e 8 w K trying to $ill "ysel* or so"ething. #e wo&ldnFt nswer his phone, so Alice dr gged "e toN L.A., to expl in in person.L 8 shr&gged, desper tely hoping th t he wo&ld not be so distr cted by "y slip th t heFd "iss the brilli nt expl n tion 8Fd provided. !h rlieFs * ce w s *roIen. L!ere yo& trying to $ill yo&rsel*, Bell KL LNo, o* co&rse not. 7&st h ving *&n with 7 $e. !li** diving. The L ?&sh $ids do it ll the ti"e. Li$e 8 s id, nothing.L !h rlieFs * ce he ted &p3*ro" *roIen to hot with *&ry. L-h tFs it to 0dw rd !&llen nyw yKL he b r$ed. LAll this ti"e, heFs J&st le*t yo& d ngling witho&t word3L 8 interr&pted hi". LAnother "is&nderst nding.L #is * ce *l&shed g in. LSo is he b c$ thenKL L8F" not s&re wh t the ex ct pl n is. 8 think they ll re.L #e shoo$ his he d, the vein in his *orehe d p&lsing. L8 w nt yo& to st y w y *ro" hi", Bell . 8 donFt tr&st hi". #eFs rotten *or yo&. 8 wonFt let hi" "ess yo& &p li$e th t g in.L L/ine,L 8 s id c&rtly. !h rlie roc$ed b c$ onto his heels. LEh.L #e scr "bled *or second, exh ling lo&dly in s&rprise. L8 tho&ght yo& were going to be di**ic&lt.L
L8 ".L 8 st red str ight into his eyes. L8 "e nt, F/ine, 8Fll "ove o&t.FL #is eyes b&lgedG his * ce t&rned p&ce. My resolve w vered s 8 st rted to worry bo&t his he lth. #e w s no yo&nger th n # rryN LD d, 8 donFt ant to "ove o&t,L 8 s id in so*ter tone. L8 love yo&. 8 $now yo&Fre worried, b&t yo& need to tr&st "e on this. And yo&Fre going to h ve to e se &p on 0dw rd i* yo& w nt "e to st y. Do yo& w nt "e to live here or notKL LTh tFs not * ir, Bell . +o& $now 8 w nt yo& to st y.L LThen be nice to 0dw rd, bec &se heFs going to be where 8 ".L 8 s id it with con*idence. The conviction o* "y epiph ny w s still strong. LNot &nder "y roo*,L !h rlie stor"ed. 8 sighed he vy sigh. LLoo$, 8F" not going to give yo& ny "ore &lti" t&"s tonight3or 8 g&ess itFs this "orning. 7&st thin$ bo&t it *or *ew d ys, o$ yK B&t $eep in "ind th t 0dw rd nd 8 re sort o* p c$ ge de l.L LBell 3L LThin$ it over,L 8 insisted. LAnd while yo&Fre doing th t, co&ld yo& give "e so"e priv cyK 8 really need shower.L !h rlieFs * ce w s str nge sh de o* p&rple, b&t he le*t, sl ""ing the door behind hi". 8 he rd hi" sto"p *&rio&sly down the st irs. 8 threw o** "y H&ilt, nd 0dw rd w s lre dy there, sitting in the roc$ing ch ir s i* he d been present thro&gh the whole convers tion. LSorry bo&t th t,L 8 whispered. L8tFs not s i* 8 donFt deserve * r worse,L he "&r"&red. LDonFt st rt nything with !h rlie over "e, ple se. L LDonFt worry bo&t it,L 8 bre thed s 8 g thered &p "y b throo" things nd set o* cle n clothes. L8 will st rt ex ctly s "&ch s is necess ry, nd no "ore th n th t. Er re yo& trying to tell "e 8 h ve nowhere to goKL 8 widened "y eyes with * lse l r". L+o&Fd "ove in with ho&se *&ll o* v "piresKL LTh tFs prob bly the s *est pl ce *or so"eone li$e "e. BesidesNL 8 grinned. L8* !h rlie $ic$s "e o&t, then thereFs no need *or gr d& tion de dline, is thereKL #is J w tightened. LSo e ger *or etern l d "n tion,L he "&ttered. L+o& $now yo& donFt re lly believe th t.L LEh, donFt 8KL he *&"ed. LNo. +o& donFt.L
#e glowered t "e nd st rted to spe $, b&t 8 c&t hi" o**. L8* yo& re lly believed th t yo&Fd lost yo&r so&l, then when 8 *o&nd yo& in ,olterr , yo& wo&ld h ve re liIed i""edi tely wh t w s h ppening, inste d o* thin$ing we were both de d together. B&t yo& didnFt3yo& s id FAma6ing. +arlisle as right,$, 8 re"inded hi", tri&"ph nt. LThereFs hope in yo&, *ter ll.L /or once, 0dw rd w s speechless. LSo letFs both J&st be hope*&l, ll rightKL 8 s&ggested. LNot th t it " tters. 8* yo& st y, 8 donFt need he ven.L #e got &p slowly, nd c "e to p&t his h nds on either side o* "y * ce s he st red into "y eyes. L/orever,L he vowed, still little st ggered. LTh tFs ll 8F" s$ing *or,L 8 s id, nd stretched &p on "y toes so th t 8 co&ld press "y lips to his.
EPI!OGUE TREATY
ALMEST 0,0B+T#8N% -AS BA!C TE NEBMAL3T#0 %EED, pre6Io"bie nor" l3in less ti"e th n 8 wo&ld h ve believed possible. The hospit l welco"ed ! rlisle b c$ with e ger r"s, not even bothering to conce l their delight th t 0s"e h d *o&nd li*e in L.A. so little to her li$ing. Th n$s to the ! lc&l&s test 8Fd "issed while bro d, Alice nd 0dw rd were in better to sh pe to gr d& te th n 8 w s t the "o"ent. S&ddenly, college w s priority =college w s still pl n B, on the o** ch nce th t 0dw rdFs o**er sw yed "e *ro" the post6gr d& tion ! rlisle option5. M ny de dlines h d p ssed "e by, b&t 0dw rd h d new st c$ o* pplic tions *or "e to *ill o&t every d y. #eFd lre dy done the # rv rd ro&te, so it didnFt bother hi" th t, th n$s to "y procr stin tion, we "ight both end &p t ?enins&l !o""&nity !ollege next ye r. !h rlie w s not h ppy with "e, or spe $ing to 0dw rd. B&t t le st 0dw rd w s llowed3 d&ring "y design ted visiting ho&rs3inside the ho&se g in. 8 J&st w snFt llowed out o* it. School nd wor$ were the only exceptions, nd the dre ry, d&ll yellow w lls o* "y cl ssroo"s h d beco"e oddly inviting to "e o* l te. Th t h d lot to do with the person who s t in the des$ beside "e. 0dw rd h d res&"ed his sched&le *ro" the beginning o* the ye r, which p&t hi" in "ost o* "y cl sses g in. My beh vior h d been s&ch l st * ll, *ter the !&llensF s&pposed "ove to L.A., th t the se t beside "e h d never been *illed. 0ven Mi$e, lw ys e ger to t $e ny dv nt ge, h d $ept s *e dist nce. -ith 0dw rd b c$ in pl ce, it w s l"ost s i* the l st eight "onths were J&st dist&rbing night" re. Al"ost, b&t not H&ite. There w s the ho&se rrest sit& tion, *or one thing. And *or nother, be*ore the * ll, 8 h dnFt been best *riends with 7 cob Bl c$. So, o* co&rse, 8 h dnFt "issed hi" then.
8 w snFt t liberty to go to L ?&sh, nd 7 cob w snFt co"ing to see "e. #e wo&ldnFt even nswer "y phone c lls. 8 " de these c lls "ostly t night, *ter 0dw rd h d been $ic$ed o&t3pro"ptly t nine by gri"ly glee*&l !h rlie3 nd be*ore 0dw rd sn&c$ b c$ thro&gh "y window when !h rlie w s sleep. 8 chose th t ti"e to " $e "y *r&itless c lls bec &se 8Fd noticed th t 0dw rd " de cert in * ce every ti"e 8 "entioned 7 cobFs n "e. Sort o* dis pproving nd w ryN " ybe even ngry. 8 g&essed th t he h d so"e reciproc l preJ&dice g inst the werewolves, tho&gh he w snFt s voc l s 7 cob h d been bo&t the Lbloods&c$ers.L So, 8 didnFt "ention 7 cob "&ch. -ith 0dw rd ne r "e, it w s h rd to thin$ bo&t &nh ppy things3even "y *or"er besi *nend, who w s prob bly very &nh ppy right now, d&e to "e. -hen 8 did thin$ o* 7 $e, 8 lw ys *elt g&ilty *or not thin$ing o* hi" "ore. The * iry t le w s b c$ on. ?rince ret&rned, b d spell bro$en. 8 w snFt s&re ex ctly wh t to do bo&t the le*tover, &nresolved ch r cter. -here w s his h ppily ever *terK -ee$s p ssed, nd 7 cob still wo&ldnFt nswer "y c lls. 8t st rted to beco"e const nt worry. Li$e dripping * &cet in the b c$ o* "y he d th t 8 co&ldnFt sh&t o** or ignore. Drip, drip, drip. 7 cob, 7 cob, 7 cob. So, tho&gh 8 didnFt "ention 7 cob much, so"eti"es "y *r&str tion nd nxiety boiled over. L8tFs J&st pl in r&deML 8 vented one S t&rd y *ternoon when 0dw rd pic$ed "e &p *ro" wor$. Being ngry bo&t things w s e sier th n *eeling g&ilty. LDownright ins&ltingML 8Fd v ried "y p ttern, in hopes o* di**erent response. 8Fd c lled 7 $e *ro" wor$ this ti"e, only to get n &nhelp*&l Billy. Ag in. LBilly s id he didnFt ant to t l$ to "e,L 8 *&"ed, gl ring t the r in ooIing down the p ssenger window. LTh t he w s there, nd wo&ldnFt w l$ three steps to get to the phoneM 's& lly Billy J&st s ys heFs o&t or b&sy or sleeping or so"ething. 8 "e n, itFs not li$e 8 didnFt $now he w s lying to "e, b&t t le st it w s polite w y to h ndle it. 8 g&ess Billy h tes "e now, too. 8tFs not * irML L8tFs not yo&, Bell ,L 0dw rd s id H&ietly. LNobody h tes yo&.L L/eels th t w y,L 8 "&ttered, *olding "y r"s cross "y chest. 8t w s no "ore th n st&bborn gest&re. There w s no hole there now38 co&ld b rely re"e"ber the e"pty *eeling ny"ore. L7 cob $nows weFre b c$, nd 8F" s&re th t heFs scert ined th t 8F" with yo&,L 0dw rd s id. L#e wonFt co"e nywhere ne r "e. The en"ity is rooted too deeply.L LTh tFs st&pid. #e $nows yo&Fre notN li$e other v "pires.L LThereFs still good re son to $eep s *e dist nce.L 8 gl red blindly o&t the windshield, seeing only 7 cobFs * ce, set in the bitter " s$ 8 h ted.
LBell , we re wh t we re,L 0dw rd s id H&ietly. L8 c n control "ysel*, b&t 8 do&bt he c n. #eFs very yo&ng. 8t wo&ld "ost li$ely t&rn into *ight, nd 8 donFt $now i* 8 co&ld stop it be*ore 8 $ 3L he bro$e o**, nd then H&ic$ly contin&ed. LBe*ore 8 h&rt hi". +o& wo&ld be &nh ppy. 8 donFt w nt th t to h ppen.L 8 re"e"bered wh t 7 cob h d s id in the $itchen, he ring the words with per*ect rec ll in his h&s$y voice. I$m not sure that I$m even:tempered enough to handle that' .ou probably ouldn$t like it so much if I killed your friend. B&t heFd been ble to h ndle it, th t ti"eN L0dw rd !&llen,L 8 whispered. L-ere yo& bo&t to s y Fkilled hi"K -ere yo&KL #e loo$ed w y *ro" "e, st ring into the r in. 8n *ront o* &s, the red light 8 h dnFt noticed t&rned green nd he st rted *orw rd g in, driving very slowly. Not his &s& l w y o* driving. L8 wo&ld tryN very h rdN not to do th t,L 0dw rd *in lly s id. 8 st red t hi" with "y "o&th h nging open, b&t he contin&ed to loo$ str ight he d. -e were p &sed t the corner stop sign. Abr&ptly, 8 re"e"bered wh t h d h ppened to ? ris when Bo"eo c "e b c$. The st ge directions were si"pleO They fight. *aris falls. B&t th t w s ridic&lo&s. 8"possible. L-ell,L 8 s id, nd too$ deep bre th, sh $ing "y he d to dispel the words in "y he d. LNothing li$e th t is ever going to h ppen, so thereFs no re son to worry bo&t it. And yo& $now !h rlieFs st ring t the cloc$ right now. +o&Fd better get "e ho"e be*ore 8 get in "ore tro&ble *or being l te.L 8 t&rned "y * ce &p tow rd hi", to s"ile h l*he rtedly. 0very ti"e 8 loo$ed t his * ce, th t i"possibly per*ect * ce, "y he rt po&nded strong nd he lthy nd very there in "y chest. This ti"e, the po&nding r ced he d o* its &s& l besotted p ce. 8 recogniIed the expression on his st t&e6still * ce. L+o&Fre lre dy in "ore tro&ble, Bell ,L he whispered thro&gh &n"oving lips. 8 slid closer, cl&tching his r" s 8 *ollowed his g Ie to see wh t he w s seeing. 8 donFt $now wh t 8 expected3" ybe ,ictori st nding in the "iddle o* the street, her *l "ing red h ir blowing in the wind, or line o* t ll bl c$ clo $sN or p c$ o* ngry werewolves. B&t 8 didnFt see nything t ll. L-h tK -h t is itKL #e too$ deep bre th. L!h rlieNL LMy d dKL 8 screeched. #e loo$ed down t "e then, nd his expression w s c l" eno&gh to e se so"e o* "y p nic. L!h rlieN is prob bly not going to $ill yo&, b&t heFs thin$ing bo&t it,L he told "e. #e st rted to drive *orw rd g in, down "y street, b&t he p ssed the ho&se nd p r$ed by the edge o* the trees.
L-h t did 8 doKL 8 g sped. 0dw rd gl nced b c$ t !h rlieFs ho&se. 8 *ollowed his g Ie, nd noticed *or the *irst ti"e wh t w s p r$ed in the drivew y next to the cr&iser. Shiny, bright red, i"possible to "iss. My "otorcycle, *l &nting itsel* in the drivew y. 0dw rd h d s id th t !h rlie w s re dy to $ill "e, so he "&st $now th t3th t it w s mine. There w s only one person who co&ld be behind this tre chery. LNoML 8 g sped. L!hyK -hy wo&ld 7 cob do this to "eKL The sting o* betr y l w shed thro&gh "e. 8 h d tr&sted 7 cob i"plicitly3tr&sted hi" with every single secret 8 h d. #e w s s&pposed to be "y s *e h rbor3the person 8 co&ld lw ys rely on. E* co&rse things were str ined right now, b&t 8 didnFt thin$ ny o* the &nderlying *o&nd tion h d ch nged. 8 didnFt thin$ th t w s changeable8 -h t h d 8 done to deserve thisK !h rlie w s going to be so " d3 nd worse th n th t, he w s going to be h&rt nd worried. DidnFt he h ve eno&gh to de l with lre dyK 8 wo&ld h ve never i" gined th t 7 $e co&ld be so petty nd J&st pl in mean. Te rs spr ng, s" rting, into "y eyes, b&t they were not te rs o* s dness. 8 h d been betr yed. 8 w s s&ddenly so ngry th t "y he d throbbed li$e it w s going to explode. L8s he still hereKL 8 hissed. L+es. #eFs w iting *or &s there.L 0dw rd told "e, nodding tow rd the slender p th th t divided the d r$ *ringe o* the *orest in two. 8 J&"ped o&t o* the c r, l &nching "ysel* tow rd the trees with "y h nds lre dy b lled into *ists *or the *irst p&nch. -hy did 0dw rd h ve to be so "&ch * ster th n "eK #e c &ght "e ro&nd the w ist be*ore 8 " de the p th. LLet "e goM 8F" going to "&rder hi"M TraitorML 8 sho&ted the epithet tow rd the trees. L!h rlie will he r yo&,L 0dw rd w rned "e. LAnd once he gets yo& inside, he " y bric$ over the doorw y.L 8 gl nced b c$ t the ho&se instinctively, nd it see"ed li$e the glossy red bi$e w s ll 8 co&ld see. 8 w s seeing red. My he d throbbed g in. L7&st give "e one ro&nd with 7 cob, nd then 8Fll de l with !h rlie.L 8 str&ggled *&tilely to bre $ *ree. L7 cob Bl c$ w nts to see me. Th tFs why heFs still here.L Th t stopped "e cold3too$ the *ight right o&t o* "e. My h nds went li"p. They fight= *aris falls. 8 w s *&rio&s, b&t not that *&rio&s. LT l$KL 8 s$ed.
LMore or less.L L#ow "&ch "oreKL My voice shoo$. 0dw rd s"oothed "y h ir b c$ *ro" "y * ce. LDonFt worry, heFs not here to *ight "e. #eFs cting sN spo$esperson *or the p c$.L LEh.L 0dw rd loo$ed t the ho&se g in, then tightened his r" ro&nd "y w ist nd p&lled "e tow rd the woods. L-e sho&ld h&rry. !h rlieFs getting i"p tient.L -e didnFt h ve to go * rG 7 cob w ited J&st short w ys &p the p th. #e lo&nged g inst "ossy tree tr&n$ s he w ited, his * ce h rd nd bitter, ex ctly the w y 8 $new it wo&ld be. #e loo$ed t "e, nd then t 0dw rd. 7 cobFs "o&th stretched into h&"orless sneer, nd he shr&gged w y *ro" the tree. #e stood on the b lls o* his b re *eet, le ning slightly *orw rd, with his tre"bling h nds clenched into *ists. #e loo$ed bigger th n the l st ti"e 8Fd seen hi". So"ehow, i"possibly, he w s still growing. #e wo&ld tower over 0dw rd, i* they stood next to e ch other. B&t 0dw rd stopped s soon s we s w hi", le ving wide sp ce between &s nd 7 cob. 0dw rd t&rned his body, shi*ting "e so th t 8 w s behind hi". 8 le ned ro&nd hi" to st re t 7 cob3to cc&se hi" with "y eyes. 8 wo&ld h ve tho&ght th t seeing his resent*&l, cynic l expression wo&ld only " $e "e ngrier. 8nste d, it re"inded "e o* the l st ti"e 8Fd seen hi", with te rs in his eyes. My *&ry we $ened, * ltered, s 8 st red t 7 cob. 8t h d been so long since 8Fd seen hi"38 h ted th t o&r re&nion h d to be li$e this. LBell ,L 7 cob s id s greeting, nodding once tow rd "e witho&t loo$ing w y *ro" 0dw rd. L-hyKL 8 whispered, trying to hide the so&nd o* the l&"p in "y thro t. L#ow co&ld yo& do this to "e, 7 cobKL The sneer v nished, b&t his * ce st yed h rd nd rigid. L8tFs *or the best.L L-h t is that s&pposed to "e nK Do yo& w nt !h rlie to strangle "eK Er did yo& w nt hi" to h ve he rt tt c$, li$e # rryK No " tter how " d yo& re t "e, how co&ld yo& do this to himKL 7 cob winced, nd his eyebrows p&lled together, b&t he didnFt nswer. L#e didnFt w nt to h&rt nyone3he J&st w nted to get yo& gro&nded, so th t yo& wo&ldnFt be llowed to spend ti"e with "e,L 0dw rd "&r"&red, expl ining the tho&ghts 7 cob wo&ldnFt s y. 7 cobFs eyes sp r$ed with h te s he glowered t 0dw rd g in. LAw, 7 $eML 8 gro ned. L8F" already gro&ndedM -hy do yo& thin$ 8 h venFt been down to L ?&sh to $ic$ yo&r b&tt *or voiding "y phone c llsKL 7 cobFs eyes *l shed b c$ to "e, con*&sed *or the *irst ti"e. LTh tFs whyKL he s$ed, nd then loc$ed his J w, li$e he w s sorry heFd s id nything.
L#e tho&ght I wo&ldnFt let yo&, not !h rlie,L 0dw rd expl ined g in. LStop th t,L 7 cob sn pped. 0dw rd didnFt nswer. 7 cob sh&ddered once, nd then gritted his teeth s h rd s his *ists. LBell w snFt ex gger ting bo&t yo&rN bilities,L he s id thro&gh his teeth. LSo yo& "&st lre dy $now why 8F" here.L L+es,L 0dw rd greed in so*t voice. LB&t, be*ore yo& begin, 8 need to s y so"ething.L 7 cob w ited, clenching nd &nclenching his h nds s he tried to control the shivers rolling down his r"s. LTh n$ yo&,L 0dw rd s id, nd his voice throbbed with the depth o* his sincerity. L8 will never be ble to tell yo& how gr te*&l 8 ". 8 will owe yo& *or the rest o* "yN existence.L 7 cob st red t hi" bl n$ly, his sh&dders stilled by s&rprise. #e exch nged H&ic$ gl nce with "e, b&t "y * ce w s J&st s "ysti*ied. L/or $eeping Bell live,L 0dw rd cl ri*ied, his voice ro&gh nd *ervent. L-hen 8N didnFt.L
L0dw rd3,L 8 st rted to s y, b&t he held one h nd &p, his eyes on 7 cob. 'nderst nding w shed over 7 cobFs * ce be*ore the h rd " s$ ret&rned. L8 didnFt do it *or yo&r bene*it.L L8 $now. B&t th t doesnFt er se the gr tit&de 8 *eel. 8 tho&ght yo& sho&ld $now. 8* thereFs ever nything in "y power to do *or yo&NL 7 cob r ised one bl c$ brow. 0dw rd shoo$ his he d. LTh tFs not in "y power.L L-hose, thenKL 7 cob growled. 0dw rd loo$ed down t "e. L#ers. 8F" H&ic$ le rner, 7 cob Bl c$, nd 8 donFt " $e the s "e "ist $e twice. 8F" here &ntil she orders "e w y.L 8 w s i""ersed "o"ent rily in his golden g Ie. 8t w snFt h rd to &nderst nd wh t 8Fd "issed in the convers tion. The only thing th t 7 cob wo&ld w nt *ro" 0dw rd wo&ld be his bsence. LNever,L 8 whispered, still loc$ed in 0dw rdFs eyes. 7 cob " de g gging so&nd. 8 &nwillingly bro$e *ree *ro" 0dw rdFs g Ie to *rown t 7 cob. L- s there so"ething else yo& needed, 7 cobK +o& w nted "e in tro&ble3"ission Acco"plished. !h rlie "ight J&st send "e to "ilit ry school. B&t th t wonFt $eep "e w y *ro" 0dw rd. ThereFs nothing th t c n do that. -h t "ore do yo& w ntKL
7 cob $ept his eyes on 0dw rd L8 J&st needed to re"ind yo&r bloods&c$ing *riends o* *ew $ey points in the tre ty they greed to. The tre ty ch t is the only thing stopping "e *ro" ripping his thro t o&t right this "in&te.L L-e h venFt *orgotten,L 0dw rd s id t the s "e ti"e th t 8 de" nded, L-h t $ey pointsKL 7 cob still glowered t 0dw rd, b&t he nswered "e. LThe tre ty is H&ite speci*ic. 8* ny o* the" bite h&" n, the tr&ce is over. 2ite, not $ill,L he e"ph siIed. /in lly, he loo$ed t "e. #is eyes were cold. 8t only too$ "e second to gr sp the distinction, nd then "y * ce w s s cold s his. LTh tFs none o* yo&r b&siness.L LThe hell it3L w s ll he " n ged to cho$e o&t. 8 didnFt expect "y h sty words to bring on s&ch strong response. Despite the w rning heFd co"e to give, he "&st not h ve $nown. #e "&st h ve tho&ght the w rning w s J&st prec &tion. #e h dnFt re liIed3or didnFt w nt to believe3th t 8 h d lre dy " de "y choice. Th t 8 w s re lly intending to beco"e "e"ber o* the !&llen * "ily. My nswer sent 7 cob into ne r conv&lsions. #e pressed his *ists h rd g inst his te"ples, closing his eyes tight nd c&rling in on hi"sel* s he tried to control the sp s"s. #is * ce t&rned s llow green &nder the r&sset s$in. L7 $eK +o& o$ yKL 8 s$ed nxio&sly. 8 too$ h l*6step tow rd hi", then 0dw rd c &ght "e nd y n$ed "e b c$ behind his own body. L! re*&lM #eFs not &nder control,L he w rned "e. B&t 7 cob w s lre dy so"ewh t hi"sel* g inG only his r"s were sh $ing now. #e scowled t 0dw rd with p&re h te. L'gh. I wo&ld never h&rt her.L Neither 0dw rd or 8 "issed the in*lection, or the cc&s tion it cont ined. A low hiss esc ped 0dw rdFs lips. 7 cob clenched his *ists re*lexively. LB0LLAML !h rlieFs ro r echoed *ro" the direction o* the ho&se. L+E' %0T 8N T#8S #E'S0 T#8S 8NSTANTML All o* &s *roIe, listening to the silence th t *ollowed. 8 w s the *irst to spe $G "y voice tre"bled. L!r p.L 7 cobFs *&rio&s expression * ltered. L8 am sorry bo&t th t,L he "&ttered. L8 h d to do wh t 8 co&ld38 h d to tryNL LTh n$s.L The tre"or in "y voice r&ined the s rc s". 8 st red &p the p th, h l*6expecting !h rlie to co"e b rreling thro&gh the wet *erns li$e n enr ged b&ll. 8 wo&ld be the red *l g in th t scen rio. L7&st one "ore thing,L 0dw rd s id to "e, nd then he loo$ed t 7 cob. L-eFve *o&nd no tr ce o* ,ictori on o&r side o* the line3h ve yo&KL
#e $new the nswer s soon s 7 cob tho&ght it, b&t 7 cob spo$e the nswer nyw y. LTrie l st ti"e w s while Bell w sN w y. -e let her thin$ she w s slipping thro&gh3we were tightening the circle, getting re dy to "b&sh her3L 8ce shot down "y spine. LB&t then she too$ o** li$e b t o&t o* hell. Ne r s we c n tell, she c &ght yo&r little *e" leFs scent nd b iled. She h snFt co"e ne r o&r l nds since.L 0dw rd nodded. L-hen she co"es b c$, sheFs not yo&r proble" ny"ore. -eFll3L LShe $illed on o&r t&r*,L 7 cob hissed. LSheFs o&rsML LNo3,L 8 beg n to protest both decl r tions. L21<<AM 8 S11 #8S !AB AND 8 >N-! +E'FB0 E'T T#0B0M 8/ +E' AB0NFT INSI&1 T#8S #E'S0 8N -N1 M8N'T0N ML !h rlie didnFt bother to *inish his thre t. LLetFs go,L 0dw rd s id. 8 loo$ed b c$ t 7 cob, torn. -o&ld 8 see hi" g inK LSorry,L he whispered so low th t 8 h d to re d his lips to &nderst nd. FLBye, Bells.L L+o& pro"ised,L 8 re"inded hi" desper tely. LStill *riends, rightKL 7 cob shoo$ his he d slowly, nd the l&"p in "y thro t ne rly str ngled "e. L+o& $now how h rd 8Fve tried to $eep th t pro"ise, b&tN 8 c nFt see how to $eep trying. Not nowNL #e str&ggled to $eep his h rd " s$ in pl ce, b&t it w vered, nd then dis ppe red. LMiss yo&,L he "o&thed. Ene o* his h nds re ched tow rd "e, his *ingers o&tstretched, li$e he wished they were long eno&gh to cross the dist nce between &s. LMe, too,L 8 cho$ed o&t. My h nd re ched tow rd his cross the wide sp ce. Li$e we were connected, the echo o* his p in twisted inside "e. #is p in, "y p in. L7 $eNL 8 too$ step tow rd hi". 8 w nted to wr p "y r"s ro&nd his w ist nd er se the expression o* "isery on his * ce. 0dw rd p&lled "e b c$ g in, his r"s restr ining inste d o* de*ending. L8tFs o$ y,L 8 pro"ised hi", loo$ing &p to re d his * ce with tr&st in "y eyes. #e wo&ld &nderst nd. #is eyes were &nre d ble, his * ce expressionless. !old. LNo, itFs not.L LLet her go,L 7 cob sn rled, *&rio&s g in. LShe ants toML #e too$ two long strides *orw rd. A glint o* nticip tion *l shed in his eyes. #is chest see"ed to swell s it sh&ddered. 0dw rd p&shed "e behind hi"sel*, wheeling to * ce 7 cob.
LNoM 0dw rd3ML L8SAB0LLA S!ANML L!o"e onM !h rlieFs " dML My voice w s p nic$ed, b&t not bec &se o* !h rlie now. L#&rryML 8 t&gged on hi" nd he rel xed little. #e p&lled "e b c$ slowly, lw ys $eeping his eyes on 7 cob s we retre ted. 7 cob w tched &s with d r$ scowl on his bitter * ce. The nticip tion dr ined *ro" his eyes, nd then, J&st be*ore the *orest c "e between &s, his * ce s&ddenly cr&"pled in p in. 8 $new th t l st gli"pse o* his * ce wo&ld h &nt "e &ntil 8 s w hi" s"ile g in. And right there 8 vowed th t 8 ould see hi" s"ile, nd soon. 8 wo&ld *ind w y to $eep "y *riend. 0dw rd $ept his r" tight ro&nd "y w ist, holding "e close. Th t w s the only thing th t held the te rs inside "y eyes. 8 h d so"e serio&s proble"s. My best *riend co&nted "e with his ene"ies. ,ictori w s still on the loose, p&tting everyone 8 loved in d nger. 8* 8 didnFt beco"e v "pire soon, the ,olt&ri wo&ld $ill "e. And now it see"ed th t i* 8 did, the A&ile&te werewolves wo&ld try to do the Job the"selves3 long with trying to $ill "y *&t&re * "ily. 8 didnFt thin$ they h d ny ch nce re lly, b&t wo&ld "y best *riend get hi"sel* $illed in the tte"ptK ,ery serio&s proble"s. So why did they ll s&ddenly see" insigni*ic nt when we bro$e thro&gh the l st o* the trees nd 8 c &ght sight o* the expression on !h rlieFs p&rple * ceK 0dw rd sH&eeIed "e gently. L8F" here.L 8 drew in deep bre th. Th t w s tr&e. 0dw rd w s here, with his r"s ro&nd "e. 8 co&ld * ce nything s long s th t w s tr&e. 8 sH& red "y sho&lders nd w l$ed *orw rd to "eet "y * te, with "y destiny solidly t "y side.
A$%&'()*+,-*&./
So "&ch love nd th n$s to "y h&sb nd nd sons *or their contin&ing &nderst nding nd s cri*ice in s&pport o* "y writing At le st 8F" not the only one to bene*it38 in s&re " ny loc l rest &r nts re gr te*&l th t 8 donFt coo$ ny"ore
Th n$ yo&, Mo", *or being "y best *riend nd letting "e t l$ yo&r e r o** thro&gh ll the ro&gh spots Th n$s, lso, *or being so ins nely cre tive nd intelligent, nd beH&e thing s" ll portion o* both into "y genetic " $e&p
Th n$s to ll "y siblings, 0"ily, #eidi, ? &l, Seth, nd 7 cob, *or letting "e borrow yo&r n "es 8 hope 8 didnFt do nything with the" th t " $es yo& wish yo& h dnFt
A speci l th n$s to "y brother ? &l *or the "otorcycle riding lesson3yo& h ve tr&e gi*t *or te ching.
8 c nFt th n$ "y brother Seth eno&gh *or ll the h rd wor$ nd geni&s he p&t into the cre tion o* www.stephenie"eyer.co" 8F" so gr te*&l *or the e**ort he contin&es to expend s "y -eb" ster !hec$Fs in the " il, $id This ti"e, 8 "e n it
Th n$s again to "y brother 7 cob *or his ongoing expert dvice on ll "y &to"otive choices
A big th n$ yo& to "y gent, 7odi Be "er, *or her contin&ed g&id nce nd ssist nce in "y c reer And lso *or end&ring "y cr Iiness with s"ile when 8 $now she d li$e to &se so"e o* her ninJ "oves on "e inste d
Love, $isses, nd gr tit&de to "y p&blicist, the be &ti*&l 0liI beth 0&lberg, *or " $ing "y to&ring experience less chore nd "ore p J " p rty, *or iding nd betting "y cyber6 st l$ery, *or convincing those excl&sive snobs in the 00! =0liI beth 0&lberg !l&b5 to let "e in, nd, oh ye h, lso *or getting "e on the Ne .ork Times bestsellerFs list
A h&ge v t o* th n$s to everyone t Little, Brown nd !o"p ny *or their s&pport nd their belie* in the potenti l o* "y stories
And, *in lly, th n$ yo& to the t lented "&sici ns who inspire "e, p rtic&l rly the b nd M&se3 there re e"otions, scenes, nd plot thre ds in this novel th t were born *ro" M&se songs nd wo&ld not exist witho&t their geni&s Also Lin$in ? r$, Tr vis, 0lbow, !oldpl y, M rJoric / ir, My !he"ic l Bo" nce, Br nd New, The Stro$es, Ar"or *or Sleep, The Arc de /ire, nd The /r y h ve ll been instr&"ent l in st ving o** the writerFs bloc$

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New Moon

Text copyright 2006 by Stephenie Meyer

All rights reserved

Little, Brown rd !o"p ny

/irst 0dition Septe"ber 2006

Meyer, Stephenie, (1)23New Moon novel 4 b5 Stephe"e Meyer3(st ed p c"

?@) M<)(99New2006 :/ic>3dc22 20060(2201

?rinted in the 'nited St tes o* A"eric

". THIRD WHEE!

nd Ben. LetFs go.L #e

1#. THE MEADOW

23. THE TRUTH

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