'Week 4 MFT

Assignment 8: Incorporate Research to Consider Approach to Sexual Experiences in Relationships
Wallace L. Conners, III
Division Of Marriage and Family Therapy, School of Health Sciences, NCU
MFT-6105 v5: Couples and Sex Therapy
Dr. Jenna Wilson
September 10, 2024
I. Introduction
A. Brief Overview of Relationship Dynamics Influenced by Trauma:
[ ] Assessing relationship distress is crucial for understanding how couples function,

both in research and therapy. There are many tools out there to measure how troubled a
relationship might be, but not all questions in these tools are equally good at showing
different levels of distress. This really matters for therapists and future studies.(Whisman,
Snyder, & Beach, 2009)
On top of that, Figley (across several years) has talked a lot about how trauma affects
families. When one person goes through a traumatic event, it can spread to others in the
family, causing what's known as secondary trauma. This means family members,
especially in families of veterans with PTSD, can start showing their own signs of
emotional distress and trauma because of what their loved one went through. This can
worsen the overall relationship stress.(Figley, 1986, p. 48).
II. Description
A. Experiences in Relationships Influenced by Trauma:
[ ] The principal researcher, a female clinical psychologist, interviewed 15 participants

for an average of 75 minutes each. Five themes emerged, with one major theme being
"Walking on eggshells" where women subdued their emotional and behavioral responses
to avoid triggering their partners' PTSD symptoms. They often hid their distress and
avoided arguments to prevent conflict, particularly to manage anger. For instance, Jane
felt she had to watch everything she said to prevent explosive conflicts. Some women,
like Elsa, opted for passive responses to insults, minimizing retaliation to reduce the
impact on themselves and their partners. (Veronica Pg. )
III. The Narrative Approach

A. Tools and Techniques from a Narrative Lens
1. Yes, I'm familiar with The Narrative Approach in therapy. It's grounded in the
idea that people understand their lives through the "stories" they tell about themselves
and their experiences. Here's a brief overview of the tools and techniques you mentioned:
1. Not Knowing Stance: The therapist adopts a stance of curiosity and openness,
avoiding assumptions about the client's experiences or meanings.
2. Deconstructive Listening: This involves carefully unpacking and questioning the

dominant narratives that influence the client's perception of their problems, identifying
underlying assumptions and power dynamics.
3. Externalization: A process where problems are treated as separate from the person,
helping clients to objectify and address issues without self-blame (e.g., "the anxiety"
instead of "my anxiety").
4. Reframing: Changing the interpretation of experiences or events to offer a more

empowering perspective, which can often shift how clients feel and respond to their
challenges.
5. Outside Witnessing: Involves having others (e.g., peers, family) witness and provide
feedback on the client's stories, fostering a sense of community and shared
understanding.
6. Resiliency Stories: Identifying and emphasizing stories of resilience and strengths that
the client has demonstrated in the past, enhancing their sense of agency and competence.
7. Constructing New Meanings: Co-creating new, more empowering narratives with the
client, often through exploring alternative perspectives and possibilities.
8. Narrative Group Therapy: Utilizing group settings to allow clients to share their stories
with others, gain new insights, and develop support networks, enriching the therapeutic
process through collective experiences.
These techniques collectively help clients re-author their lives in ways that align more
closely with their values and preferred identities.
IV. Application Examples in Therapeutic Setting

[ ] "Martha and John presented to couple therapy. Martha, a 35-year-old stayat-home
mother of 2, initiated therapy. She reported that her husband John had recently been
acting very distant from her and behaving in a way in which she described as cryptic and
secretive. She expressed how her husband had always been somewhat distant and closed
off during their 8 years of marriage, but somehow this time it felt different. When asked
by the therapist what felt different about distance’s current impact, Martha responded she
was not sure. She reported that she had always tried to be understanding of John since he
experienced some extreme trauma when he was young (and then quickly stating he
received extensive individual therapy prior to their marriage), but this time he had
crossed a line she could not simply ignore. When asked by the therapist what had driven
her decision to seek therapy, Martha reported she had recently found several phone
conversations and sexually explicit pictures on John’s phone. Both John’s distant
behavior and the sexting were sufficient evidence for her to assume an affair. She
provided John with an ultimatum; go to couple therapy or a divorce attorney. John agreed
to seek counseling.
John, a 37-year-old electrical engineer, sat timidly as Martha described her rationale for
seeking couple therapy. The therapist noticed John wince as Martha quickly brushed over
his experience of childhood trauma. After Martha had finished her explanation, the
therapist turned to John and asked him if there was anything that his wife said that stood
out to him or didn’t seem to fit well with who he was? After a few moments of silence,
John stated bitterly how it hurt him that Martha would simply throw his past trauma into
the conversation as if it was nothing; as if she didn’t care he was fighting off more
demons than she could know. That was hurtful and low of her even considering their
current situation." ()
[ ]
A. Examples of Each Tool or Technique with Relationship Therapy:
Sure, here are practical examples of each tool or technique in the context of relationship
therapy:
1. Not Knowing Stance:
- Example: A therapist working with a couple might ask, "What does love mean to each
of you?" rather than assuming they share the same definition. This encourages the couple
to explore their unique perspectives.
2. Deconstructive Listening:
- *Example*: During a session, the therapist might say, "Let's examine the idea that
'one must sacrifice personal goals for the relationship.' Where did this idea come from,
and how has it shaped your interactions?"
3. Externalization:
- *Example*: Instead of talking about "our arguments," the therapist helps the couple
externalize by saying, "How has 'the conflict monster' affected your relationship this
week?" This shift separates the problem from the individuals, making it easier to address
collaboratively.
4. Reframing:
- *Example*: If one partner feels unloved because their significant other works late, the
therapist might reframe it: "Could staying late at work be a way to show care by ensuring
financial security?" This helps shift the narrative to a more positive interpretation.
5. "Outside Witnessing":
- *Example*: Inviting another couple who has overcome similar issues to witness and
provide feedback during a session. Their observations and stories can validate and inspire
hope in the couple currently in therapy.
6. Resiliency Stories:
- *Example*: The therapist helps the couple recall a time they successfully navigated a
crisis together, emphasizing their strengths and collaboration. This reinforces their
capability to handle current and future challenges.
7. Constructing New Meanings:

- *Example*: Working with the couple to redefine their roles in the relationship.
Instead of seeing themselves as fixer and problem, they might construct a new narrative
where they are co-adventurers navigating life's journey together.
8. Narrative Group Therapy:

- *Example*: Participating in group therapy with other couples, sharing stories about
relationship struggles and successes. This communal setting allows participants to learn
from each other, gain support, and build new strategies based on collective wisdom.
These examples demonstrate how narrative techniques can be used to help couples
explore and reshape their relational stories, fostering understanding, resilience, and
renewed connection.
V. Conclusion
In conclusion, narrative therapy offers a dynamic and transformative approach to

relationship counseling by encouraging couples to critically examine and reframe the
stories they tell about themselves and their relationships. Techniques like the Not
Knowing Stance, Deconstructive Listening, and Externalization empower couples to see
problems as external entities, fostering a collaborative spirit to address and change these
narratives. Through methods such as Reframing, Outside Witnessing, and Resiliency
Stories, couples can build on their strengths, craft new meanings, and draw from shared
experiences to enhance their connection. Ultimately, narrative therapy helps couples
construct a more positive and resilient relationship story, paving the way for deeper
understanding and lasting harmony.
References
1. Kleiner-Paz, I. I., & Nasim, R. (2020). Dissociative collusion: Reconnecting clients

with histories of trauma in couple therapy. *Family Process, 60*(1), 32-41.
2. Doncaster, E., Hiskey, S., McPherson, S., & Andrews, L. (2019). "I’m still fighting for
the two of us:” How partners of UK veterans construct their experience of living with
combat-related trauma. *Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 45*(3), 464-479.
3. Laughlin, C. F., & Rusca, K. A. (2019). Strengthening vicarious resilience in adult

survivors of childhood sexual abuse: A narrative approach to couples therapy. *The
Family Journal, 28*(1), 15-24.
4. Johnson, D. J., Holyoak, D., & Cravens Pickens, J. (2019). Using narrative therapy in
the treatment of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the context of couple
therapy. *American Journal of Family Therapy, 47*(4), 216-231.
The last reference appears to be incomplete. Could you provide the full title or additional
details for the last paper? Here’s what you have so far:
Morgan, E., Wieling, E., Hubbard, J., & Kraus, E. (2018). The development and i

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Assignment 8: Incorporate Research to Consider Approach to Sexual Experiences in Relationships

Wallace L. Conners, III

Division Of Marriage and Family Therapy, School of Health Sciences, NCU

MFT-6105 v5: Couples and Sex Therapy

Dr. Jenna Wilson

September 10, 2024

[ ] Assessing relationship distress is crucial for understanding how couples function,

[ ] The principal researcher, a female clinical psychologist, interviewed 15 participants

III. The Narrative Approach

2. Deconstructive Listening: This involves carefully unpacking and questioning the

4. Reframing: Changing the interpretation of experiences or events to offer a more

IV. Application Examples in Therapeutic Setting

7. Constructing New Meanings:

8. Narrative Group Therapy:

In conclusion, narrative therapy offers a dynamic and transformative approach to

1. Kleiner-Paz, I. I., & Nasim, R. (2020). Dissociative collusion: Reconnecting clients

3. Laughlin, C. F., & Rusca, K. A. (2019). Strengthening vicarious resilience in adult

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