'Darui

vloom Zafariyya

eo. Box 10786 Lenasia, 1820 Gauteng, South Africa Tel: +27 11 8591912/8591081
Fax: +27118591138
e-mail: duzak@duzak.org.za

In the name off/I[ah, the most Benejicent, the Most Mercifu[

Wedding Customs
It is the greatest mercy of Allah ~, the creator of all that He has blessed us with Islaam as a way oflife. Obedience in Islaam does not simply mean praying to Allah but will also entail us ensuring that we

conduct our day to day as prescribed by our BelovedProphet, Sayyidina Muhammad Our Islaamic culture is rich, colourful and also virtuous. We need to draw upon it for the enrichment of our lives. The fortunate ones are those who conduct their lives according to Islaamic traditions, hence they reap the benefits thereof in both the worlds. No matter what activity a person is involved in, if it is performed in accordance to Islaamic teachings, then the doer will be rewarded for it by our Bountiful Allah t~. Unfortunately many of our intentions and actions have become diametrically opposed to Islaamic teachings. One such great misery upon our community is to be witnessed at weddings. This great event, the union of two individuals, has unfortunately become an occasion of obscene violation of the Sunnah. An occasion in which Allah
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s mercy and blessings ought to be sought has transferred into an open and shameless

violation of His commands, hence inviting His wrath. Not only are the two respective families satisfied in breaking every rule of the Shariah, but they amass hundreds if not thousands of people to take part in wrong and thereby multiply the sins into millions. Almost every aspect of the marriages today is alien to Islaam, somebased on pagan traditions handed down to us and others copied from other communities or from TV advertisements. Only the nikah ceremony itself has remained intact and is sometimes sadly held in halls which is against the spirit of Islaamic weddings, as our BelovedNabi has encouraged us to conduct our nikaah ceremonies in the Masaajid. From the engagement to the photographic sessions and everything in between, almost everything has been derived from non-Islamic cultures. As for the Muslims from the Indian subcontinent, they have merged Christian and Hindu traditions into their weddings. One of the dangers has been, over time, rituals taken up for mere fun have been integrated into our wedding occasions as important, compulsory elements, without which a wedding is thought to be incomplete. Asthe importance of these alien events is raised, they are repeated in subsequent weddings and the rituals become customs. A few of the many wrongs which are presently taking place in our wedding ceremonies will be shortly explained here with the hope that individuals can assess how deeply they have immersed themselves in imitating the non-Muslims and henceforth mend their ways and restore our Islaamic weddings to its simple, pure and pristine form.

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I.

DANCING

AND MUSIC

This point needs no further elucidation regarding its impermissibility in Shariah and its being derived specifically from other religions, especially Hinduism and Christianity where it forms a vital part of the wedding ceremony. It is extremely sad that we have adopted this" hypocrisy-creating" evil and have even dedicated a part of the wedding day for it. Hadeeth: - Nabi said, "Most certainly a group from my Ummah will drink wine and label it differently, instruments will be sounded close to them in the presence of singing girls. Allah ~ will make the earth swallow them and transform them into monkeys and pigs " (Muslim) . And in a narration recorded in Bukhari N abi says, 11A group from my Ummali will make adultery, the wearing of silk garments, the drinking of wine and music permissible. " DRESSING Commercial pressure from the media and sheer negligence has led the present day Muslims to dress scantily and outrageously immoral when attending these functions. Some have even adopted the religious garments of others, such as saris etc, for the simple reason that it is in fashion. There is no doubt in all of this not being permissible.
2.

In a narration recorded in Muslim, Nabi

has said, "There are two groups from amongst the inhabitants

of jahannam that I have not yet seen- a group brandishing whips like the tails of cattle which they use to abuse people; and women who are clothed yet naked i.e. they cause men to be inclined to them (attract them) and they themselves are inclined to men. Their heads are like camel humps (hairstyles). They will not enter paradise nor will they enjoy the fragrance thereof, whereas its fragrance can be enjoyed from a distance. " One of the extravagances noticed in weddings is the notion that a new garment be purchased not only for each wedding, but rather for each occasion associated to a wedding, which many a time runs into spending thousands of Rands for a garment that is normally utilised just once! This form of unnecessary expense, ironically, at a time when almost half the Ummah is barely making ends meet! A narration in Mishkaat explains that simplicity is part of Imaan. It will be truly sad if we do not take lessons from these traditions 3. EXTRAVAGANCE Those who have adopted non-Islamic rites in marriage, indulge in ex~ravagant expenses up to the point where financial loans are necessary. Thousands of Rands are spent without thought or consideration. For many this amounts to savings of a lifetime. Unfortunately, many families have to take out a loan and succumb to paying interest, which is likened to declaring war with Allah . Others who are in debt incur further debts to hold a wedding rather than pay the original debt. This burden is self-imposed and also a means of depriving ourselves from the mercy of Allah 'c,~.Extravagance is against the Shariat and invites the wrath of Allah~. Allah ~ has equated the spendthrifts to being brothers of Shaytaan. Allah grants wealth which has to be spent in accordance to His commands and prohibitions. Extravagance is a sign of ungratefulness and a rejection of Allah ~'s command> And waste not by excess, for Allah ~ does not love wasters. (AI-An'aam 141) A marriage which is celebrated without due consideration of excess expenditure is deprived of Allah's blessing. What a sad way for the couple to begin their life together! Hazrat A' isha reports that N abi said, "The matrimony with the greatest blessings is that which is glmpM and Incurs the least houble.ll{Hayhaqi)
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Inviting friends and family to a Walimah is Sunnah, but to invite people for three or four or more days is an extravagance against the Sunnah. Similarly it is not proven that the bride s family hosts the groom 's family at a reception after Nikaah. A Walimah meal provided by the groom a day or two after the Nikaah
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is Sunnah. N abi advised us, "The invitation of those who serve food as a return for name and fame should not be

accepted." (Musnad Ahmad) Some of the other customs noticed at our weddings, with no basis in Shariat, are: I. Stag/hen parties also known as bachelor and bachelorette parties. 2. Dance nights. 3. Mehndi parties. 4. The displaying of gifts exchanged. 5. Shamelessly displaying the bride to everyone including strange men. 6. The printing of lavish wedding invites. 7. Mentioning the virtues of the bride and groom at the reception and walimah functions respectively which is an imitation of the toast at Christian weddings. 'The Weddings of the First Community

As Muslims we have to follow the path shown to us by our Beloved Nabi and there are many weddings documented from his time-to follow and base our weddings upon. One of the wealthy Muslim traders of Makkah Mukarramah had been Hazrat Abdur Rahmaan Ibn Auf However, after migrating to Madinah Munawwarah he became relatively poor for a while. He set off to the market and began trading and soon became prosperous again. In Bukhari and Muslim his story has
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been recorded as follows> Abdur Rahmaan married. Nabi Ibn 'Atif' came to the Messenger 'The Prophet of Allah of Allah and he had traces of yellow on him (perfume used in weddings)' asked him about it. He told him that he had just

asked, "How much (mahr) did you hand over?" He said, "'The weight of a date stone in

gold." 'The Messenger of Allah said, "Hold a Walimah, even ifonly with a sheep." Hazrat Abdur Rahmaan being relatively wealthy, was advised to hold a Walimah with just a sheep. In a similar incident, Hazrat Jabir Ibn Abdullah enquired, "Have you married?" He replied, "Yes." Both these incidents indicate that even though Nabi inviting or informing him. The Prophet
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came to Nabi

with a yellow perfume stain. He married without

was in their midst the Sahabah

showed no animosity towards them, thus condoning their

actions and promoting simplicity and performing Nikaah as soon as the bride and groom have agreed. N ahi s own marriages were extremely simple. His Walimah after his marriage to Safiyyah was hais (dates mixed with clarified butter and a preparation of dried curd). Hazrat Anas said," N abi never gave a Walimah for any of his wives as he did for H asrai Zaynab He gave Walimah with a sheep." (Bukhari)

The aboveAhadeeth illustrate the extravagance shown at modern weddings as being far from the spirit of the first community and emphasizes how remote we are from the Sunnah of N abi May Allah Aameen. grant us all the ability to adhere to the beautiful and pure teachings of Islaam. Prepared by: Darul Uloom Zakariyya 'Tel: +27118591081
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