Social Organization: Courtship, Marriage, and

Unit 8
Family

Intended Learning Outcomes: At the end of this chapter, the students are expected
to:
1. Determine the role of courtship and marriage in the creation of Family.
2. Define functions, and basic concepts on the classifications of Family.
3. Highlight the uniqueness of the Filipino family through its types.
4. Formulate opinions on the future of the Filipino family.

8.1 Courtship

- If courtship is an interlude to marriage, social scientist found out that there are two
factors that are preparatory to courtship and these are physical attraction/sexual
attraction and then love. These only mean that a person will not court a girl is she is
not attracted to him first; at the same time, the girl will not answer yes if she is not
physically attracted to the boy and of course in love.

- How about love at first sight? Social scientists proved that one cannot fall in love
with if he doesn’t know the person well and this is the purpose of courtship. The
courtship period varies from person to person, that of Imelda and Ferdinand Marcos
is one week, called whirl wind romance, others month or year or more, regardless of
period, what is important is the feeling of love or being in love. However, it should
be noted that courtship is not yet the end stage to marriage but engagement.

8.2 Courtship Now and Before Compared

With the birth of modern technology such as cellphones and internets, courtship is
now done in an extra modern way. Below is a simple presentation of courtship in the early
and present era.

Early times- men will do Modern times

Paninilbihan Send somebody to do it for him

They do the so-called Harana by singing a By dating the girl outside the house with
love song dinner and watching movies
The man courts the girl inside the house The man may court the girl in or outside
the house
The man gives some money for token to Token is optional
the bride’s parent as token.
8.3 Definitions and views on Marriage

- Definitions of and views about marriage have changes tremendously through the
years. For instance, marriage is often defined as a "socially sanctioned sexual and
economic union between men and women" (Howard and Hattis, 1992:450).
- In some societies, this concept has been to include the union between members of
the same sex. There are some social scientists, on the other hand, who view not as an
"institution but as a relationship."
- The latter concept implies a certain degree of dynamism as the emphasis is on
"personal well-being and happiness of the persons involved in the relationship."
- Some people view marriage as a way of life, something that is more than sexual
relationship

All these views about the shift of emphasis of marriage from an institution to a
relationship emerge from the following arguments:

1. That marriage involves the personal choice of the couple, and that there is a
tendency for them to expect personal growth,
2. That this concept is widespread, and if ever variations occur, the ethnic
affiliation of each spouse must have been responsible for them.
3. That there is the need for divorce and separation in some cases.

8.4 Reasons Why People Marry

There have been several reasons why people marry:

1. Human infants have a prolonged period of dependency. Thus, someone must take
care of them. Caring for them requires time and attention, often it becomes
burdensome to the "carer," who is usually a woman. This is true specially in
foraging and horticultural societies where women are required to participate in
the economic activities of the social group. Women, when caring for their infants.
fail to perform their economic tasks. As such, they too, become dependent on
others. Marriage, therefore, becomes the most common means of ensuring that
both women and children are supported.

2. People get married to overcome the threat of sexual competition. It is argued,

particularly by male scholars, that "sexual competition is a reproductive and
economic threat to the survival of society, and the relative stability provided by
marriage is the best way of coming to terms with this threat" (Howard and Hattis,
1992:450).

3. People get married because they benefit from each other's labor. Most societies
have clearly defined divisions of labor based on sex and age. In a horticultural
society, men are responsible for clearing the fields while the women are the
planters. Similarly, in societies where people are dependent on hunting and
foraging, men are hunters while women are food gatherers. With marriage, both
men and women share the fruits of their labor.

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 4. Men marry because this is one way of gaining dominance over women. Thus, in a
foraging society where women provide substantial diets or food for the social
group, men, as husbands, gain access to the product of women's labor and thereby
reduce men's workload. In modem societies, on the other hand, women work
outside the house and at the same time perform household chores. Feminists
have argued that women are the most exploited laborers for they perform
necessary and tedious services, and men, as husbands, rewarded them as they see
fit.

5. In small-scale societies, all men and women are expected to marry. Staying
unmarried is interpreted to mean refusal to assume adult responsibilities.
Unmarried men and women are not conferred adult status. In our society, people
are pressured to marry by kinsmen and peers. However, there are those who
remain unmarried, yet their decision or choice is respected and accepted. There
is fear that with the diminishing importance of kinship, the prevailing economic
situation in the Philippines, and tolerance for live-in relationships, marriage may
eventually disappear. Many people, however, still consider marriage as an
important social relationship.

8.5 Forms of Marriage

1. Monogamy- the most common and universal form. It involves the union of a man
and woman. In many urban areas, this form of marriage is prevalent because it is
predicted on the personal choice of the couple.

2. Polygamy- this form refers to a plural union where an individual married to several
individuals at the same time, and it has three forms:
a. Polygyny- one husband and two or more wives. Example: Muslim Nation
b. Polyandry- one wife and two or more husbands
c. Group Marriage- the marriage of two or more women with two or more
men. Here the husbands are common husbands and wives are common
wives. Children are regarded as the children of the entire group as a
whole.

3. Adoptive Marriage- this is a form of marriage found in Jap Japan, since one's
surname is patronymic, that is, it is transferred some father to son, many wealthy
families would want to preserve surnames by preferring sons over daughters.) In
however, families only have daughters and therefore the line stops with them. To
offset this, the prospective son-in-law is "adopt by the family before the wedding
takes place; thus his surname changed into that of the bride's family. When they
get married the no need for the bride to change her surname. But this form of
man proves to be degrading to the males, just as polygyny is to women who resort
to this form of a marriage lose their identity, they "absorbed" by the adopting
family," the family of the bride.

4. Fictive Marriage- this is practiced by the Nuer tribe of Africa. It is a union between
two women, an older and a younger one. It is most likely that the older woman
has been divorced by her husband because of her being barren, and since it is
difficult to live by herself, she decides to "marry" a younger woman. This younger
woman may be allowed to have a relationship with a man, and their children will

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 be considered as the "children" of the "couple" (the two women). Sex is never the
function of such union. Thus, lesbianism is out of the question. The relationship is
established for companionship only.

5. Sister-Exchange- this form of marriage is prevalent in some agricultural areas

where every member of the family must be a farm helper. Here, a man cannot be
allowed to marry unless the sister of the bridegroom agrees to marry the brother
of the bride. It must be remembered that in agricultural areas, residence after
marriage is patrilocal. Thus, if the couple resides patrilocally, the bride's parents
lose one farm help, whereas if the bridegroom's sister agrees to marry the bride's
brother, she (bridegroom's sister) will be a replacement for the bride. The family
of the bride will not feel her loss as there is someone to replace her. The problem
met in this type of marriage is whether or not the parties to be exchanged (bride's
brother and bridegroom's sister) are willing to marry each other.

6. Bride Capture- in some societies, capture is in itself considering a part of the

marriage ritual. For instance, in Tikopia, an island in the Pacific, as reported by
Raymond Firth, relatives of the bridegroom assist him in "capturing the bride
because the capture in itself ""legally" unites the couple. If the bride, however, is
not in favor of her marriage to the bridegroom, she makes this known to her
relatives, and they in turn see to it that she never gets "captured" by the
bridegroom's family.

8.6 Family Defined

- Family is a group of people, who considered themselves, related by blood,

marriage or adoption, usually lived together or as in the case of grown children, at
least has lived together.
- Note that a family is commonly binds by a marriage, a mating arrangement usually
marked out by a ritual of some sort to indicate the couple’s new public status
(Henslin, 1993).

8.7 Forms of Family

1. Nuclear – if a family is composed of husband wife and children. Common examples

are modern families in the urban areas.

2. Extended – when in addition to the nuclear unit, grandparents, uncles, and

cousins are considered members of the family.

3. Joint Family- this family structure is so-called because the married siblings,
together with their spouses and children reside in one house. The extension
horizontal, unlike in the extended family where it is vertical. There are only two
generations involved in the joint family, the father, and the son.

4. Household- household is a census term, as it is used to refer to the members of

the family in general. The household may consist of one individual or 100
individuals who may or may not related to each other.

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 5. Truncated Family - truncated form of family lays stress on the grandparent-
grandchildren relationship. In many cases, grandparents assume the responsibility
of caring for their grandchildren when the parents die; they act as surrogate
parents to their grandchildren. The death of the grandchildren's parents may not
be the sole cause for the formation of the truncated family. The economic
incapacity of the parent is often used as the reason for grandparents "adopting"
their grandchildren.

6. Stem Family- this family structure which originated in France, and which was
adopted in the Philippines, is that formed by families engaged in agriculture. The
stem family consists of two families-the family of orientation and the family of
procreation. The structure is like that of the extended family, but the difference is
that these families do not reside with the husband's parents. A male child, for
example, may be interested in farming while his other siblings go elsewhere in
pursuit of the career.

8.8 The Changing Role of Women

The effects of industrialization and urbanization are more apparent in the changing
role of women in society. Before industrialization, women were confined to the homes
and tied down domestic chores. As such, they did not have significant contributions at all
outside of homes. Time has changed, so that with availability of family planning methods,
women and their husbands can plan the number of children they want to have and raise.
Until recently, however, despite family planning methods, there were still many urban
poor women who bore many children. Their husband refuses to give them their
reproductive rights, to determine for themselves the number of children they want and
can take care of (Rolda, 1993)
Women who belong to the middle and upper class get better training and complete
tertiary education from reputable institutions. As such, though their salaries can be
considered as supplementary to those received by their husbands, the couple's aggregate
income is still big enough to enable them to provide comfortable lives to their children.
With the advent of the twentieth century, there has been an increase in women's
participation in the labor force (Lenski. Nolan and Lenski, 1905 358). In the Philippines,
for instance, there are women who occupy positions of power as CEOs (Chief Executive
Officers) and managers. In fact, in 1986, Corazon C. Aquino became the first woman
President of the Philippines, and in 1998, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo became the first
woman Vice-President of the Philippines and took over the presidency from former
President Joseph Estrada in 2001.
Women are more patient and meticulous, and they can work long hours, except
that this work ethic, at times, can be disrupted and interrupted by their responsibilities
to their families. Despite of their positions of power they are first, and foremost, wives
and mothers. For them to achieve their ambitions and goals in life, they need husbands
who are supportive.
The following poem is presented here to show that there are women who never
leave their ambitions at the altar. The poem entitled "The Living Poem captures in a
moving manner the ways by which family responsibilities constrained and frustrated most
ambitious and talented women in the era before the advent of modern technology, which

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has provided effective means of birth control and labor saving device for the home
(Lenski, Nolan and Lenski, 1995:357). This poem also embodies the pride and happiness
that a woman was able to achieve within the constraints imposed on her.

The Living Poem

Weary of the ceaseless tasks I waited till kids were off

Of baking and broiling At school another day
I sought to cultivate my soul I put the baby in the yard
And end my labored toiling And there I bade her stay.

I set the mop and broom aside, Then, just as I shaped my wits
Determined not to falter. And a fine rhyme was turning,
I surely never meant to leave A neighbor rushed in calling loud,
Ambition at the altar. “Hettie, your pies are burning”

I planned to write some poems rare I am afraid I ne’er rank

To reach the Hall of Fame With Hermans* nor with Browning
I yearned to win great honors I am afraid that laurel wreath
To decorate my name. Will ne’er my brow be crowning

And so I sought my pad and pen No matter when or where I try

And I sat down to think To put my thoughts on paper
Then, just as I began to write That Imp called “interruption”
The baby spilled the ink. Start cutting up some caper.

So, then I found a pencil So now I laid them all aside,

And sharpened it quite fine. My glowing aspirations;
But goodness me! My mind has fled! But I cook and sweep and sew,
I could not write a line. I have my compensations

I thought of birds and flowers, The world my watch- my friend my wait;

Of meadows and of brooks. My home is what I show ‘em,
But ere I could arrange my thoughts My happiness, my laurel wreath
I heard. "Ma. where're my books?" I live, not write, my poems
(Lenski, Nolan and Lenski, 2295:357)

8.9 The Future of the Family in the Philippines

The Filipino family remains to be a strong and vital institution in molding the
character of the young members. Though there are forms other than the nuclear family
that may emerge in the future, we believe that the young generation will still recognize
its importance. But we foresee a decrease in the size as younger couples realize the
value of having fewer children, not only because of the economic costs but also because
of the moral and emotional investments involved.

Though we see the proliferation of agencies and services available to assist

working women burdened by housekeeping, working women will continue to assume
some of their traditional roles, i.e., as principal socializers to their children. Though,
some pessimists foresee the dissolution of the family, this traditional role of the women

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as mothers will remain. But more men will share in the traditional roles of women as
they begin to recognize that their relationship with their housewives is egalitarian and
complementary. More men will begin to be supportive of the women's right to pursue
their careers after marriage.

Women who are career-oriented will put off marriage. The proposal of the late
Senator Rene Cayetano to lower the age of marriage for women to 14 years and men to
16 years, will not materialize as younger generations, because of interest in education
and pursuit of career, will not marry early More and more men and women would want
to have stable jobs before marriage as they realize the responsibilities which accompany
the formation of a family

In effect, compared to the past, more women will work outside the house after
marriage and will make significant contributions to the family income. More and more
couples will have a variety of family experience during their lifetime.

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