UNIT-1 Self: Core Competency

Understanding of self, Components of self: self-identity, self-concept, self-confidence, self-

image, BIG-5.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. – Aristotle

INTRODUCTION TO SELF
Have you ever been at a noisy gathering—struggling to have a conversation over music and
the chatter of voices—and yet managed to hear someone at the other end of the room mention
your name? If so, then you have experienced the “cocktail party effect”—the tendency of
people to pick a personally relevant stimulus, like a name, out of a complex and noisy
environment (Cherry, 1953; Wood & Cowan, 1995). Even infants who are too young to walk
or talk exhibit this tendency (Newman, 2005). To the cognitive psychologist, this phenomenon
shows that human beings are selective in their attention. To the social psychologist, it also
shows that the self is an important object of our own attention.  The self is first and foremost
the collection of beliefs that we hold about ourselves. 

• What are our important characteristics?

• What are we good at?
• What do we do poorly?
• What kind of situations do we prefer or avoid?

UNDERSTANDING SELF:
o Self-Understanding is the awareness of and ability to understand one’s own thoughts
and actions.
o To attain the insight into your attitudes, motives, defences, reactions, weaknesses and
strengths.
o It is a subjective sense of the self & a complex mixture of unconscious & conscious
thoughts, attitudes & perceptions.

DEFINITION OF UNDERSTANDING SELF:

o Understanding self represents the sum total of people’s conscious perception of their
identity as distinct from others. It is not a static phenomenon, but continues to develop
& change throughout our lives. - George Herbert Head

o The understanding self is thinking about what is involved in being? What distinguish
you from being an object, an animal or different person? - Richard Stevens

IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING SELF

o Self-understanding has been recognized as a key competency for individuals to function
efficiently in organizations.
o It influences an individual’s ability to make key decisions about self, others around.
 o Understanding the self-equips individuals with making more effective career & life
choice, the ability to lead, guide & inspire with authenticity.

COMPONENTS OF SELF
1. SELF IDENTITY:
Consider these two points of view – which approach do you find yourself inwhich approach do
you find yourself in most agreement with?most agreement with?

“I am who I am because of the time and place I was born and the culture I was raised in. My family
gave me a set of values and so has my town, my religion, my community and my country. Add
these all up and that’s who I am”

“I have got an identity – at least my friends seem to think so, but I’m not really sure who I am. I
know that I’m more like some people than others, but this changes as I try out new identities. I
don’t really want to take on an identity if it means I can’t be different when I want to be”

Neither is right or wrong. They represent two sides of a debate over the nature of identity.

2. SELF CONCEPT
o The set of beliefs that we hold about who we are is called the self-concept.
o It can also be defined as the sum total of an individual’s beliefs about his or her own
personal attributes.
o It is basically the individuals image of the kind of person he or she is. Especially
included in this are the awareness of being (What I am) and awareness of function
(What I can do).
o Self-concept includes not only our perceptions of what we are but also what we think,
we ought to be and would like to be. This latter component of the self is called the ideal
 self. The ideal self represents the self-concept that an individual would ideally want to
posses.

Two ways in which we perceive ourselves

a. Positive Self Concept: People with positive self concept believe in themselves,
are confident about their ability to deal with problems, make decisions, feel equal
to others, have respect for themselves and expect it from others. These are people
who are realistic in their assessment of themselves and can admit to a wide range
of feelings, behaviours and needs. 
b. Negative Self Concept: If people see themselves as failures and have a negative,
pessimistic image of themselves, they will begin to act the part. Negative feelings
feed on themselves and become a downward spiral, gradually encompassing all
of the people’s thoughts, actions and relationships. People with negative self
concepts tend to complain constantly and find it difficult to accept criticism.

Like other belief systems, the self-concept includes :

Cognitive aspect: self schema : Self schemas are “cognitive generalizations
about the self, derived from past experience, that organize and guide the
processing of self-related information”

Behavioral aspect: self-perception: Darl Bem’s (1972) influential self

perception theory reflects we observe our behavior and the situation in which it
took place, make attributions about why the behavior occurred, and draw
conclusions about our own characteristic and disposition. In other words we
come to understand ourselves the same way we perceive and understand others.

Affective/evaluative aspect: self esteem: “self-esteem reflects the perceived

difference between an individual’s actual self-concept (who I think I really am)
and some ideal self image (who I would really like to be).” William James (1890)
expressed the relationship this way---
Self esteem= success/pretension
Pretension (ideals against which individuals assess their actual self-image).

Rogers' Three Parts of Self-Concept: Humanist psychologist Carl Rogers believed that self-
concept is made up of three different parts:

• Ideal self: The ideal self is the person you want to be. This person has the attributes or
qualities you are either working toward or want to possess. It's who you envision
yourself to be if you were exactly as you wanted.
• Self-image: Self-image refers to how you see yourself at this moment in time.
Attributes like physical characteristics, personality traits, and social roles all play a role
in your self-image.
 • Self-esteem: How much you like, accept, and value yourself all contribute to your
self-concept. Self-esteem can be affected by a number of factors—including how others
see you, how you think you compare to others, and your role in society.

Incongruence and Congruence

Self-concept is not always aligned with reality. When it is aligned, your self-concept is said to
be congruent. If there is a mismatch between how you see yourself (your self-image) and who
you wish you were (your ideal self), your self-concept is incongruent. This incongruence can
negatively affect self-esteem. Rogers believed that incongruence has its earliest roots in
childhood. When parents place conditions on their affection for their children (only expressing
love if children "earn it" through certain behaviors and living up to the parents' expectations),
children begin to distort the memories of experiences that leave them feeling unworthy of their
parents' love. Unconditional love, on the other hand, helps to foster congruence. Children who
experience such love—also referred to as family love—feel no need to continually distort their
memories in order to believe that other people will love and accept them as they are.

Building up self-concept: Building up self-concept is primary factor of effective personality

and behaviour. The four steps to build-up self-concept are as follows:
• Self-awareness : Our attention is sometimes directed outward towards the environment
and sometimes it is focused inward on ourselves.  Certain experiences in the world
automatically focus attention inwards, such as catching sight of ourselves in the mirror,
having our picture taken, or, more subtly, being evaluated by others.  We begin to think
of ourselves not as moving actors in the environment but as objects of our own and
others’ attention. Experiencing oneself as an objects of our own and others’ attention is
called self awareness.  It leads people to evaluate their behavior against a standard
(standards for physical appearance, intellectual performance, athletic prowess, or moral
integrity) and to set an adjustment process in motion for meeting the standard.

• Self-acceptance: Having being aware of who we really are, rather than the person we
would wish to be, the next step on our journey to self concept is to accept ourselves. 
According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance is an individual's satisfaction or
happiness with oneself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health.  Self-
acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, though subjective, awareness of
one's strengths and weaknesses. It results in an individual's feeling about oneself, that
they are of "unique worth".

• Self-realization: The term self-realization means to fulfilment of one's own potential. 

It is realizing our inner potentialities.  This step on self-concept route involves growth
and development motivated from within.  It is a willingness to pursue our ideal-self on
our own, to grow and to change because we think it is important.

• Self-disclosure: Self disclosure is the process of letting another person know what we
think, feel and want, that is telling others about ourselves.  It includes all kinds of
 information: life experiences, personal circumstances, feelings, dreams, opinions and
so on.  It involves disclosing our innermost thoughts and feelings.  The final stage
towards a mature self-concept is how we are going to reveal our ‘self’, and this is where
self-awareness plays an important role. We need to know ourselves well before we can
disclose or reveal anything to others about our ‘real self’  Research indicates that self-
disclosure leads to self- contentment, helps a person to be more perceptive, adaptive,
competent, trusting and positive towards others.

3. SELF CONFIDENCE
A feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement is self-confidence.  The belief
that you can achieve success and competence. In other words – believing yourself to be
capable.  Self-confidence might be in reference to specific tasks or a more wide ranging
attitude you hold about your abilities in life. 

Both self-confidence and self-esteem relate to your perception of yourself, the former
relates to your perception of your abilities and the latter relates to your perception of your
worth or value.  Both concepts are closely related and those with low self-confidence will
often have low self-esteem and vice versa. Self- confidence comes from firsthand
knowledge of the task at hand, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, applying your
skills to any situation. Self- confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of
our lives

Types of self confidence

i. Low Self Confidence: Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and so avoid
taking risks. Governing your behavior based on what other people think. Working
hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone
notices.

ii. Optimal Self-confidence: Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every

aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. People who lack self-
confidence can find it difficult to become successful. Self-confident people inspire
confidence in others.

iii. Over Confidence: Often we come across people who are overconfident, i.e.
egotistic and stubborn. Generally, these people have the so called “superiority
complex” It is important to be confident but. . . Overconfidence makes you
egoistic and irritating. Bragging about your qualities and achievements will not
make you reach anywhere

Self Test. . !
• Do you fear or fail to make mistakes?
• Do you compare yourself with others?
• Do you doubt your strength and abilities?
• Do you feel bad , guilty ,nervous and angry when you don’t get what you wanted?
• Do you say “I am like that only or if I. .?
• Do you see yourself inferior than others?

If any answer for these questions is “yes”. . . Then I say you are in a state of feeling “low
confidence”!!!

Steps to overcome low self-confidence.

1. Self-Acceptance: Accept yourself as you are. Understand “Experience is what you get
when you don’t get what you want.
2. Self-Belief & Self-Image: Remember your childhood: “You never gave-up to stand and
walk”. Its all how you see yourself. . Matters the most. .!!!
3. Self Esteem & Self-Talk: It’s important that you FEEL good about yourself. . ! What
you say to yourself matters the most.
4. Self-Analysis: Ask on what you have. . And then focus more on where you are lacking
behind. .!
5. Change Now. .! Just as you change channels on your T.V. Just start changing the
channel of your life.

Action plan for boosting the confidence within you. .

• Love and accept yourself as you are. • Say “Yes”.
• Start your day with a smile. • Make mistakes ‘n correct it.
• Give a pat on your back.
• Count your blessings.
• Think feel and talk positive.
• Spend time with self-confident people.

A small boy –the fifth among seven siblings was selling newspapers in a small village to earn
his living. He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets.
The first rocket he built crashed. The missiles he built crashed multiple times. But his
“Confidence” and get going sprit in him made him script the book “The space odyssey of India
single handedly. He is. . . Dr.A.P.J.Abdul kalam

A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention in mathematics. For not solving a
simple problem. And said that he would not become anybody in life. But his mother’s
confidence in him made her coach him mathematics. And the boy went on to become. . . .Albert
Einstein.

When a gentleman invented a communication machine in 1876. It did not ring off the hook
with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call the, President Rutherford
Hayes said, it’s an amazing invention but who would ever want to see one of them it in future.?!
These words were said to . . . . Alexander Graham Bell.

Are you the type of person who easily get influenced by negative advices? Follow this short
self-confidence lesson…Henry Ward Beecher, a prominent congregationalist clergyman,
social reformer, abolitionist, and speaker in the mid to late 19th Century.

The world will say, ‘No!’ in a thousand ways.

No! You can’t do that.
No! You are wrong.
No! You are too old.
 No! You are too young.
No! You are too weak.
No! It will never work.
No! It will never work.
No! You don’t have the education.
No! You don’t have the background.
No! You don’t have the money.
No! It can’t be done.

And each ‘No!’ you hear has the potential to erode your confidence bit by bit until you quit all
together. Though the world says, ‘No!’ to you today, you should be determined to say, ‘Yes!’
and prove it! ”

Confidence does not come when you have all the answers..! But it comes, when you are ready
to face all the questions..!!

And at the end I would like to say. . . . A winner is not the one who never fails but. . .the one
who never quits.!

4. SELF IMAGE
Self-image is how you perceive yourself.  It is a number of self-impressions that have built up
over time: What are your hopes and dreams? What do you think and feel? What have you done
throughout your life and what did you want to do?  These self-images can be very positive,
giving a person self confidence in their thoughts and actions, or negative, making a person
doubtful of their capabilities and ideas.

Surprisingly, your self-image can be very different from how the world sees you. Some people
who outwardly seem to have it all (intelligence, looks, personal and financial success) may
have a bad self-image. Conversely, others who have had a very difficult life and multiple
hardships may also have a very positive self- image. Some believe that a person's self-image is
defined by events that affect him or her (doing well or not in school, work, or relationships.) 
Others believe that a person's self-image can help shape those events.

There is probably some truth to both schools of thought: failing at something can certainly
cause one to feel bad about oneself, just as feeling good about oneself can lead to better
performance on a project.  But it cannot be denied that your self-image has a very strong impact
on your happiness, and your outlook on life can affect those around you. If you project a
positive self-image, people will be more likely to see you as a positive, capable person.
However, it's important that your self-image be both positive and realistic.

Having a self-image that is unrealistic can be a drawback, whether that self-image is negative
OR positive.  Sometimes having an occasional negative thought or criticism about oneself can
encourage change, hard work, growth and success. Sometimes having too positive an image of
oneself can encourage complacency, underachievement, and arrogance. Finding the balance
between feeling positive about oneself but having realistic goals is important.
5. BIG-5

Many contemporary personality psychologists believe that there are five basic dimensions of
personality, often referred to as the "Big 5" personality traits.

Following Fiske’s research, there were attempts by other researchers including Norman (1967),
Smith (1967), Goldberg (1981), and McCrae & Costa (1987). 51 The Big Five Factors: The
Basic Dimensions of Personality The “big five” are broad categories of personality traits. While
there is a significant body of literature supporting this five-factor model of personality,
researchers do not always agree on the exact labels for each dimension. However, these five
categories are usually described as follows:

Extraversion: This is also called as Surgency. The broad dimension of Extraversion

encompasses specific traits as talkative, energetic, and assertive. More specifically these
include characteristics such as excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness, and high
amounts of emotional expressiveness.

Agreeableness: This factor includes traits like sympathetic, kind, and affectionate. It also
includes attributes such as trust, altruism, kindness, affection, and other prosocial behaviours.

Conscientiousness: This includes traits like organised, thorough, and planful tendencies.
Common features of this dimension include high levels of thoughtfulness, with good impulse
control and goal-directed behaviours. Those high in conscientiousness tend to be organised and
mindful of details.

Neuroticism: This is sometimes reversed and called Emotional Stability. This dimension
includes traits like tense, moody, and anxious. Individuals high in this trait tend to experience
emotional instability, anxiety, moodiness, irritability, and sadness.

Openness to Experience: This is also called as Intellect or Intellect/Imagination. This

dimension includes traits like having wide interests, and being imaginative and insightful.
Those high in this trait also tend to have a broad range of interests.

Some use the acronym OCEAN (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and
neuroticism) to remember the Big 5 personality traits. CANOE (for conscientiousness,
agreeableness, neuroticism, openness, and extraversion) is another option.