HATE YOU

REBEL INK #1

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TRACY LORRAINE

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Copyright © 2020 by Tracy Lorraine
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means,
including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author,
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Editing by Pinpoint Editing
Proofreading by Paige Sawyer Proofreading
Photographer Wander Aguair
Model Kaz van der Waard

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 CONTENTS

A Note

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Epilogue

Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Tracy Lorraine
Falling for the Forbidden Sneak Peek

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Andy and Amelia x

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 A NOTE

Hate You is written in British English and contains British spelling and
grammar. This may appear incorrect to some readers when compared to US
English books.

Tracy xo

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 PROLOGUE

Tabitha

I stare down at my gran’s pale skin. Her cheeks are sunken and her eyes
tired. She’s been fighting this for too long now, and as much as I hate
to even think it, it’s time she found some peace.
I take her cool hand in mine and lift her knuckles to my lips.
“It’s Tabitha,” I whisper. I’ve no idea if she’s awake, but I don’t want to
startle her.
Her eyes flicker open. After a second they must adjust to the light and
she looks right at me. My chest tightens as if someone’s wrapping an elastic
band around it. I hate seeing my once so full of life gran like this. She was
always so happy and full of cheer. She didn’t deserve this end. But cancer
doesn’t care what kind of person you are, it hits whoever it fancies and
ruins lives.
Pulling a chair closer, I drop onto it, not taking my eyes from her.
“How are you doing today?” I hate asking the question, because there
really is only one answer. She’s waiting, waiting for her time to come to put
her out of her misery.
“I’m good. Christopher upped my morphine. I’m on top of the world.”
She might be living her last days, but it doesn’t stop her eyes sparkling a
little as she mentions her male nurse. If I’ve heard the words ‘if I were forty
years younger’ once while she’s been here, then I’ve heard them a million
times. She’s joking, of course. My gran spent her life with my incredible
grandpa until he had a stroke a few years ago. Thankfully, I guess, his end
was much quicker and less painful than Gran’s. It was awful at the time to
have him healthy one moment and then gone in a matter of hours, but this
right now is pure torture, and I’m not the one lying on the hospital bed with
meds constantly being pumped into my body.
“Turn the frown upside down, Tabby Cat. I’m fine. I want to remember
you smiling, not like your world’s about to come crashing down.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just—” a sob breaks from my throat. “I don’t know
how I’m going to live without you.” Dramatic? Yeah. But Gran has been
my go-to person my whole life. When my parents get on my last nerve,
which is often, she’s the one who talks me down, makes me see things
differently. She’s also the only one who’s encouraged me to live the life I
want, not the one I’m constantly being pushed into.
That’s the reason I’m the only one visiting her right now.
When my parents discovered that she was the one encouraging my
‘reckless behaviour’, as they called it, they cut contact. I can see the pain in
her eyes about that every time she looks at me, but she’s too stubborn to do
anything about it, even now.
“You’re going to be fine. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit
for. How many times have I told you, you just need to follow your heart.
Follow your heart and just breathe. Spread your wings and fly, Tabby Cat.”
Those were the last words she said to me.

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 1

Tabitha

T he heavy bass rattles my bones. The incredible music does help to

lift my spirits, but I find it increasingly hard to see the positives in
my life while I’m hanging out with my friends these days. They’ve
all got something exciting going on—incredible job prospects, marriage,
exotic holidays on the horizon—and here I am, drowning in my one-person
pity party. It’s been two months since Gran left me, and I’m still wondering
what the hell I’m meant to be doing with my life.
“Oh my god, they are so fucking awesome,” Danni squeals in my ear as
one song comes to an end. I didn’t really have her down as a rock fan, but
she was almost as excited as James when he announced that this was what
we were doing for his birthday this year. Although I do wonder if it’s the
music or the frontman who’s really captured her attention. She’d never
admit it, but she’s got a thing for bad boys.
I glance over at him with his arm wrapped around Shannon’s shoulders
and a smile twitches my lips. They’re so cute. They’ve got the kind of
relationship everyone craves. It seems so easy yet full of love and affection.
Ripping my eyes from the couple, I focus back on the stage and try to block
out that I’m about as far away from having that kind of connection with
anyone as physically possible.
 I sing along with the songs I’ve heard on the radio a million times and
jump around with my friends, but I just can’t quite totally get on board with
tonight. Maybe I just need more alcohol.
“Where to next?” Shannon asks once we’ve left the arena and the
ringing in our ears has begun to fade.
“Your choice,” James says, looking down at her with utter devotion
shining in his eyes. It wasn’t a great surprise when Shannon sent a photo of
her giant engagement ring to our group chat a couple of months ago. We all
knew it was coming—Danni especially, seeing as it turned out that she
helped choose the ring.
Shannon directs us all to a cocktail bar a few streets over and I make
quick work of manoeuvring my way through the crowd to get to the bar, my
need for a drink beginning to get the better of me. The others disappear off
somewhere in the hope of finding a table
“Can we have two jugs of…” I quickly glance at the menu. “Margaritas
please.”
“Coming right up, sweetheart.” The barman winks at me before his eyes
drop to my chest. Hooking up on a night out isn’t really my thing, but hell if
it doesn’t make me feel a little better about myself. He’s cute too, and just
the kind of guy who would give both my parents a heart attack if I were to
bring him home. Both his forearms are covered in tattoos, he’s got gauges
in both his ears, and a lip ring. A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth as I
imagine the looks on their faces.
My gran’s words suddenly hit me.
Just breathe.
My hand lifts and my fingers run over the healing skin just below my
bra. My smile widens.
I watch the barman prepare our cocktails, my eyes focused on the ink on
his arms. I’ve always been obsessed by art, any kind of art, and that most
definitely includes on skin.
I’m lost in my own head, so when he places the jugs in front of me, I
startle, feeling ridiculous.
“T-Thank you,” I mutter, but when I lift my eyes, I find him staring
intently at me.
“You’re welcome. I’m Christian, by the way.”
“Oh, hi.” A sly smile creeps onto my lips. “I’m Biff.”
 “Biff?” His brows draw together in a way I’m all too used to when I say
my name.
“It’s short for Tabitha.”
“That’s pretty. So… uh… how do you feel about—”
“Christian, a little help?” one of the other barmen shouts, pulling
Christian’s attention from me.
“Sorry, I’ll hopefully see you again later?”
I nod at him, not wanting to give him any false hope. Like I said, he’s
cute, but after my last string of bad dates and even worse short-term
boyfriends, I’m happy flying solo right now. I’ve got a top of the range
vibrating friend in my bedside table; I don’t need a man.
Picking up the tray in front of me, I turn and go in search of my friends.
It takes forever, but eventually I find them tucked around a tiny table in the
back corner of the bar.
“What the hell took so long? We thought you’d pulled and abandoned
us.”
“Yes and no,” I say, ensuring every head turns my way.
“Tell us more,” Danni, my best friend, demands.
“It was nothing. The barman was about to ask me out, but it got busy.”
“Why the hell did you come back? Get over there. We all know you
could do with a little… loosening up,” James says with a wink.
“I’m good. He wasn’t my type.”
“Oh, of course. You only date posh boys.”
“That is not true.”
“Is it not?” Danni asks, chipping in once she’s filled all the glasses.
“No…” I think back over the previous few guys they met. “Wayne
wasn’t posh,” I argue when I realise they’re kind of right.
“No, he was just a wanker.”
Blowing out a long breath, I try to come up with an argument, but quite
honestly, it’s true. My shoulders slump as I realise that I’ve been
subconsciously dating guys my parents would approve of. It’s like my need
to follow their orders is so well ingrained by now that I don’t even realise
I’m doing it. Shame that their ideas about my life, what I should do, and
whom I should date don’t exactly line up with mine.
Glancing over my shoulder at the bar, I catch a glimpse of Christian’s
head. Maybe I should take him up on his almost offer. What’s the worst that
could happen?
 Deciding some liquid courage is in order, I grab my margherita and
swallow half down in one go.
I’m so fed up of attempting to live my parents’ idea of a perfect life. I
promised Gran I’d do things my way. I need to start living up to my
promise.

By the time I’m tipsy enough to walk back to the bar and chat up Christian,
he’s nowhere to be seen. I’m kind of disappointed seeing as the others had
convinced me to throw caution to the wind (something that I’m really bad at
doing), but I think I’m mostly relieved to be able go home and lock myself
inside my flat alone and not have to worry about anyone else.
With my arm linked through Danni’s, we make our way out to the
street, ready to make our journeys home, and Shannon jumps into an idling
Uber while Danni waits for another to go in the opposite direction.
“You sure you don’t want to be dropped off? I don’t mind.”
“No, I’m sure. I could do with the fresh air.” It’s not a lie—the alcohol
from one too many cocktails is making my head a little fuzzy. I hate going
to sleep with the room spinning. I’d much rather that feeling fade before
lying down.
“Okay. Promise me you’ll text me when you’re home.”
“I promise.” I wrap my arms around my best friend and then wave her
off in her own Uber.
Turning on my heels, I start the short walk home.
I’ve been a London girl all my life, and while some might be afraid to
walk home after dark, I love it. I love seeing a different side to this city, the
quiet side when most people are hiding in their flats, not flooding the streets
on their daily commutes.
My mind is flicking back and forth between my promise to Gran and
my missed opportunity tonight when a shop front that I walk past on almost
a daily basis makes me stop.
It’s a tattoo studio I’ve been inside of once in my life. I never really pay
it much attention, but the new sign in the window catches my eye and I stop
to look.
Admin help wanted. Enquire within.
 Something stirs in my belly, and it’s not just my need to do something to
piss my parents off—although getting a job in a place like this is sure to do
that. I’m pretty sure it’s excitement.
Tattoos fascinate me, or more so, the artists.
I’m surprised to see the open sign still illuminated, so before I can
change my mind, I push the door open. A little bell rings above it, and after
a few seconds of standing in reception alone, a head pops out from around
the door.
“Evening. What can I do you for?” The guy’s smile is soft and kind
despite his otherwise slightly harsh features and ink.
“Oh um…” I hesitate under his intense dark stare. I glance over my
shoulder, the back of the piece of paper catching my eye and reminding me
why I walked in here. “I just saw the job ad in the window. Is the position
still open?”
His eyes drop from mine and take in what I’m wearing. Seeing as
tonight’s outing involved a rock concert, I’m dressed much like him in all
black and looking a little edgy with my skinny black jeans, ripped AC/DC
t-shirt and heavy black makeup. I must admit it’s not a look I usually go for,
but it was fitting for tonight.
He nods, apparently happy with what he sees.
“Experience?” he asks, making my stomach drop.
“Not really, but I’m studying for a Masters so I’m not an idiot. I know
my way around a computer, Excel, and I’m super organised.”
“Right…” he trails off, like he’s thinking about the best way to get rid
of me.
“I’m a really quick learner. I’m punctual, methodical and really easy to
get along with.”
“It’s okay, you had me sold at organised. I’m Dawson, although
everyone around here calls me D.”
“Nice to meet you.” I stick my hand out for him to shake, and an
amused smile plays at his lips. Stretching out an inked arm, he takes my
hand and gives it a very firm shake that my dad would be impressed by—if
he could look past the tattoos, that is. “I’m Tabitha, but everyone calls me
Biff.”
“Biff, I like it. When can you start?”
“Don’t you want to interview me?”
“You sound like you could be perfect. When can you start?”
 “Err… tomorrow?” I ask, totally taken aback. He doesn’t know me from
Adam.
“Yes!” He practically snaps my hand off. “Can you be here for two
o’clock? I can show you around before clients start turning up. I’ll
apologise now for dropping you in the deep end, we’ve not had anyone for
a few weeks and things are starting to get a little crazy.”
“I can cope with crazy.”
“Good to know. This place can be nuts.” I smile at him, more grateful
than he could know to have a distraction and a focus.
My Masters should be enough to keep my mind busy, but since Gran
went, I can’t seem to lose myself in it like I could previously. Hopefully,
sorting this place’s admin out might be exactly what I need.
“Two o’clock tomorrow then,” I say, turning to leave. “I’ll bring ID. Do
you need a reference? I’ve done some voluntary work recently, I’m sure
they’ll write something for me.”
“Just turn up on time and do your job and you’re golden.”
I walk out with more of a spring in my step than I have in a long time.
I’m determined to find something that’s going to make me happy, not just
my parents. I’ve lived in their shadow for long enough.

I look myself over before leaving my flat for my first shift at the tattoo
studio. I’m dressed a little more like myself today in a pair of dark skinny
jeans, a white blouse and a black blazer. It’s simple and smart. I’m not sure
if there’s a dress code—D never specified what I should wear. With my hair
straightened and hanging down my back and my makeup light, I feel like I
can take on whatever crazy he throws at me.
With a final spritz of perfume, I grab my bag from the unit in the hall
and pull open my door. My home is a top floor flat in an old London
warehouse. They were converted a few years ago by my father’s company,
and I managed to get myself first dibs. They might drive me insane on the
best of days, but at least I get this place rent-free. It almost makes up for
their controlling and stuck-up ways… almost.
Ignoring the lift like I always do, I head for the stairs. My heels click
against the polished concrete until I’m at the bottom and out to the busy
city. I love London. I love that no matter what the time, there’s always
something going on or someone who’s awake.
The spring afternoon is still a little fresh, making me regret not grabbing
my coat, or even a scarf, before I left. I pull my blazer tighter around myself
and make the short journey to the shop.
The door’s locked when I get there, and the bright neon sign that clearly
showed it was open last night is currently saying closed.
Unsure of what to do, I lift my hand to knock. Only a second later, the
shop front is illuminated, and the sound of movement inside filters down to
me, but when the door opens it’s not the guy from last night.
“Oh… uh… hi. Is… uh… D here?”
The guy folds his arms over his chest and looks me up and down. He
chuckles, although I’ve no idea what he finds so amusing.
“D,” he shouts over his shoulder, “there’s some posh bird here to see
you.”
My teeth grind that he’s stereotyped me quite so quickly, but I refuse to
allow him to see that his assumptions about me affect me in any way.
“Ah, good. I was worried you might change your mind.”
“Not at all,” I say, stepping past the judgemental arsehole and into the
studio reception-cum-waiting room.
“That’s Spike. Feel free to ignore him. He’s not got laid in about a
million years, it makes him a little cranky.” I fight to contain a laugh,
especially when I turn toward Spike to find his lips pursed and his eyes
narrowed in frustration. All it does is confirm that D’s words are correct.
“Is that fucking necessary? Posh doesn’t need to know how inactive my
cock is, especially not when she’s only just walked through the fucking
door. Unless…” He stalks towards me and I automatically back up. I can’t
deny that he’s a good looking guy, but there’s no way I’m going there.
“I don’t think so.”
“You sure? You look like you could do with a bit of rough.” He winks,
and I want the ground to swallow me up.
“Down, Spike. This is Tabitha, or Biff. She’s our new admin, so I
suggest you be nice to her if you want to stop organising your own
appointments and shit. I don’t need a sexual harassment case on my hands
before she’s even fucking started.”
I can’t help but laugh at the look on Spike’s face. “Don’t worry. I’m
sure you’ll find some desperate old spinster soon.”
 He looks me up and down again, something in his eyes changed.
“Appearances aside, I think you’re going to get on well here.”
I smile at him. “Mine’s a coffee. Milk, no sugar. I’m already sweet
enough.” His chin drops.
“I thought you were our new assistant. Why am I still making the
coffee?”
“Know your place, Spike. Now do as the lady says. You know my
order.”
“Yeah, it comes with a side of fuck off!” He flips D off before
disappearing through a door that I can only assume goes to a kitchen.
“I probably should have warned you that you’ve agreed to work around
a bunch of arseholes.”
“I know how to handle myself around horny men, don’t worry.”
After finishing my A levels, before I grew any kind of backbone where
my parents were concerned, I agreed to work for my dad. I was his little
office bitch and spent an horrendous year of my life being bossed around by
men who thought that just because they had a cock hanging between their
legs it made them better than me. I might have fucking hated that year, but
it taught me a few things, not just about business but also how to deal with
men who think they’re something fucking special just because they’re a tiny
bit successful and make more money than me. I’ve no doubt that my time at
Anderson Development Group gave me all the skills I’m going to need to
handle these artists.
“So I see. So, this is your desk. When you’re on shift you’ll be the first
person people see when they’re inside, so it’s important that you look good.
But from what I’ve seen, I don’t think we’ll have an issue. I’ve sorted you
out logins for the computer and the software we use. Most of it is pretty
self-explanatory. I’m pretty IT illiterate and I’ve figured most of it out, put
it that way.”
D’s showing me how they book clients in when someone else joins us.
This time it’s someone I recognise from my previous visit, although it’s
immediately obvious that he doesn’t remember me like I do him. But then I
guess he was the one delivering the pain, not receiving it.
“Biff, this is Titch. Titch, this is Biff, our new admin. Be nice.”
“Nice? I’m always nice. Nice to meet you, Biff. You have any issues
with this one, you come and see me. He might look tough, but I know all
his secrets.” Titch winks, a smile curling at his lips that shows he’s a little
more interested than he’s making out, and quickly disappears towards his
room.
It’s not long until the first clients of the afternoon arrive, and I’m left
alone to try to get to grips with everything.
Between clients, D pops his head out of his room to check I’m okay,
and every hour I make a round of coffee for everyone. That sure seems to
get me in their good books.
“I think I could get used to having you around,” Spike says when I
deliver probably his fourth coffee of the day. “Only thing that would make
it better is if it were whisky.”
“Not sure the person at the end of your needle would agree.” He
chuckles and turns back to the design he was working on when I
interrupted.
My first day flies by. D tells me to head home not long after nine
o’clock. They’ve all got hours of tattooing to go yet, seeing as Saturday
night is their busiest night of the week, but he insists I get a decent night’s
sleep.

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 2

Tabitha

W ith both uni and my new job, the next week is over before I’ve
realised it’s even begun. I’m only doing my Masters part time,
so I don’t need to go into uni all that often. I spend most of my
time working at home. My new hours at the studio are exactly what I was
missing. It gets me out and I get to meet new people. It might not be my
forever job, but it’s perfect for right now.
It’s almost four o’clock the following Friday when I walk into the studio
reception with a takeout tray of coffee in my hand for everyone. The guys
are all in their rooms setting up for a busy night of inking and piercing
Londoners. Music pumps through the speakers that fill the studio, and I
wiggle my hips in time as I make my coffee deliveries.
“How did we survive without you?” D asks when I pass his black coffee
over.
“Just doing my bit to keep you going all night.”
“We appreciate it. Have you had a chance to look at tonight’s bookings?
Are we full?”
“Pretty much straight through to two AM. Only a few drop-in slots
open.”
He blows out a breath. “You’d better send a few more of these down my
way then.”
“Didn’t sleep well?” I ask, now noticing the dark circles under his eyes.
“Something like that,” he mutters.
 “Well, if you need anything, just shout.” Turning on my heels, I leave
him to set up.
About thirty minutes before we turn the closed sign to open, all three of
the guys appear. After checking out their bookings for the night, they fall
down onto the black leather sofas that fill the waiting room.
I’m busy inputting clients’ information so I don’t pay much attention to
what they’re talking about, but when the bell rings above the door, my eyes
automatically lift from my screen. I don’t see who’s entered because D
stands, blocking my view.
“I’m sorry, we’re not open until—” My warning is cut off when D
opens his arms to the visitor.
“You’re back!” he exclaims, pulling the guy into a one-armed hug.
“Didn’t think you were planning on turning up until next week.”
“I wasn’t, but they’re set up and don’t need me getting under their feet.”
His deep, rumbling voice does something to me. Goosebumps break out
across my skin and I lean over in my seat in the hope of seeing the face that
voice belongs to. Unfortunately, I lean just that little bit too far and the chair
moves in the opposite direction, leaving me in a heap on the floor.
“What was that?” the deep voice asks.
“That? That was our new admin. You’re going to love her, she’s exactly
what we’ve been looking for.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d hired?”
“Because your parting words to me were, and I quote, ‘just get it
fucking sorted’. So I did just that. You’re gonna love her.”
Smoothing my hair down, I find my feet, ready to get up and meet the
mystery man with the deep voice. I stand, wiping any dust off my arse from
the concrete floor, and look up into a pair of blue eyes that I’ve not seen in
years.
My chin drops as I take him in.
Zach Abbot.
The school’s bad boy, sex god, the guy everyone wanted to be friends
with or have on their arm. He’s arrogant, obnoxious, and from what I
remember downright rude. And right now, he’s staring at me like I’m less
than a piece of shit on his shoe. Nothing new there. My heart pounds in my
chest. What the hell is he doing here, and why was D talking to him like he
owned the fucking place?
“Her? You hired her as our admin? You can’t be serious.”
 My eyes open so wide I’m afraid they might just pop out.
“She’s awesome, Zach. Just give her a chance.”
“You’re fucking serious. Have you looked at her? She looks like she
should be working a shift at a golf club not a fucking tat studio.” His eyes
drop down my body, taking in my simple, black V-neck jumper and tan
skinny jeans. My skin prickles with his attention and red hot anger blooms
in my belly. And now I remember why I hated him so much at school. Not
only is he all those things I previously mentioned, but he’s a massive
fucking dickhead.
I step out from around my desk and stand before him. A few things have
changed since I was at school and totally intimidated by the likes of Zach
Abbot and his crew of self-righteous arseholes. I’ve learnt who I am. I’ve
discovered that I’m not some weak girl who needs to cower away from
bullies. I’m Tabitha fucking Anderson, and I’m not afraid to stand up for
what’s right. Maybe my dad did teach me something with his controlling
ways all these years.
“Problem?” I ask, standing almost toe-to-toe with him. I try to ignore
my thundering heart and the fact that my hands are trembling. His unique
manly, woodsy scent hits my nose and makes my mouth water.
Damn him for being so fucking tempting.
There was a time when we were at school when I’d have given my right
arm to be this close to him, every girl would have. But I sat and watched.
Being practically invisible back then seriously helped with that little
endeavour, and I discovered that he wasn’t worthy of standing close to, let
alone wanting anything else to do with him.
“Yeah. You don’t fit in in my studio.” He dismisses me with a nod of his
chin.
“Your studio?” My eyes narrow in confusion. That can’t be right.
He tilts his head to the side as if he’s talking to an idiot. It does nothing
but fire me up. “Yeah. My studio.”
My brow creases. There’s something else I should probably mention
about Zach Abbot. His little sister is now my best friend. I had no idea
when I first met Danni at uni. I assumed the surname was a coincidence—
after all, there must be hundreds of Abbots out there. She’s a couple of
years younger and I didn’t remember her from school; equally she didn’t
know me, but that wasn’t a shock to me as I lived my life in the shadows.
Danni and her family seem to think Zach, the middle child, spends his days
living the high life off of his trust fund. Yet, he’s standing before me right
now claiming to own a successful chain of tattoo studios. I had no idea
when I first started, but this isn’t the only Rebel Ink in the world. There are
four others in England and no less than three in America. And apparently,
they all belong to him.
I stare at him, holding his captivating blue eyes hostage, struggling to
believe that this man before me is the same one the Abbot family spends its
time moaning about and making excuses for.
“What’s her name?” he asks over his shoulder.
“I’m standing right here.” If it were possible, steam would be bellowing
from my ears right this second.
“So you are.”
“I’m Biff. I’m the one who’s been sorting out your shocking filing
system, inputting your clients’ details that have been floating around on
scraps of paper—have you even heard of GDPR?— and actually
responding to some emails.”
“She also makes great coffee,” Spike adds.
His eyes hold mine, the blue getting colder by the second. He sucks his
bottom lip into his mouth as his gaze drops. My skin prickles as he runs it
over my breasts, down my waist and all the way to my boots. My nipples
pebble and my blood turns to lava with his undivided attention on me. It
only makes me angrier. Nothing this guy does should affect me. Okay, so
he’s hot. Even more so than I remember from school. He’s filled out, his
shoulders are wider, his arms more muscular, and the way his t-shirt hugs
his body leads me to believe there’s something delicious hiding underneath.
Shame about the personality.
“You don’t fit in here. A posh girl sitting behind that desk does not give
off the right first impressions. Sort yourself out, or kindly fuck off.”
A gasp sounds out behind me.
“What the fuck, man?”
D comes to stand next to me and I’m grateful for his support, but as I
look over the four of them dressed head-to-toe in black, tattoos covering
their skin and gauges in their ears, and lip and brow piercings catching the
spotlights above, I realise that what Zach’s saying is right. I don’t fit in
here. My Ralph Lauren jumper, my Versace jeans and my Louboutin boots
most definitely don’t belong in a dark tattoo studio.
 Sucking in a deep breath, I reach behind the desk and pull my pink Kate
Spade bag from the bottom drawer. Looking at its soft pastel colour is more
proof that, although said extremely poorly, Zach is correct.
“You’re right.”
“Biff, no.” D pleads. “Ignore this dickhead. You’re exactly what we
need here. What you look like shouldn’t affect that.”
“It’s okay. Thank you for fighting for me.” I touch his forearm lightly as
I pass.
They might think I’m about to walk out for good, but I will not cower to
the likes of Zach Abbot, even if he is right. He’s just set out a challenge,
and I never back down.
D, Spike and Titch’s voices ring out behind me as I allow the door to
shut. It’s obvious none of them are happy about their boss’ opinion, but I
already know they’re not going to change his mind.
Pulling my phone from my bag, I find my best friend’s phone number
and hit call.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. Do you have plans tonight?”
“I don’t, actually. What are you thinking?”
“I’ve got a challenge for you. Be at mine in an hour.”

OceanofPDF.com
 3

Zach

I ’m fucking exhausted. The jet lag from my long-haul flight is kicking

my arse, but my need to stop in the studio to make sure things are
okay gets the better of me. I know D and the guys are more than
capable, but that place is like my baby so the temptation to poke my head in
is too much to deny.
I regret it the second I step inside and find her.
What the fuck does D think he’s playing at, employing a posh fucking
princess to be the face of Rebel Ink? She’s not rebel fucking anything, and
she’s everything I try to distance myself from on a daily basis. She looks
just like the kids I was forced to spend time with as a child, the kind of
woman my mother would probably say is the perfect match for me. She was
dressed exactly like my sister does and talked like the posh kids I had no
choice but to spend my days with at that pretentious private school my
parents insisted on before I was old enough to get the hell away and live my
own life.
She doesn’t belong here, and I don’t care how much stick I get from the
guys or how good she is at her job. She’s not staying.
Am I an arsehole for making her leave? Yes, I can’t deny that, but it’s
just the way it’s got to be.
“I can’t believe you just did that.”
 “Believe it,” I mutter, falling onto one of the sofas, propping my feet up
on the coffee table and letting my head fall back as three pairs of eyes burn
into me.
“She’s not right for this place,” I say without even opening my eyes.
“Who gives a fuck what she looks like? She whipped us right into
shape.”
“And gave us coffee,” Titch says again.
“Who gives a fuck about the coffee? I’ll buy you all machines for your
rooms if I have to. I refuse to have clients walk in and think they’ve entered
a fucking spa not a studio. This isn’t up for discussion.”
D blows out a frustrated breath. I’ve listened to him almost all of my
career. He’s had my back since the day I showed an interest in this life, but
this is one thing we’re just going to have to agree to disagree about.
“So how was it?” he asks, changing the subject.
“Really good. The location is spot on, and Corey was fitting in like he
lived all his life there by the time I left.” Corey is one of my best artists, not
that I’m going to admit that to any of these guys. He’d previously been in
charge of my Manchester studio, but when I mentioned to him that I wanted
another US place he jumped at the chance to relocate. He helped out all the
way with location and hiring staff. If it continues the way it has the past
couple of weeks then I think it could be one of our most successful studios.
Having one tattoo studio where I could do my thing was a dream of
mine since the day I drew my first design, but with everyone around me
focused on the family antique business, I knew they wouldn’t understand.
The only person who got me was my best friend, Jonathan. He shared my
desire to break away from what was expected of us, to be rebellious and do
our own thing. He’d be proud of all this. I lift my hand to the dog tag that’s
hanging around my neck and run my fingertip over the cold metal.
“If anyone can make it happen then it’s Corey,” Spike adds.
“I’ve no doubts in him. So aside from your lapse in judgement on our
new appointment, anything else I need to know about?”
“Err… We had new ink delivered. Our main supplier has changed name
but the products are the same. We’ve pretty much been booked solid and
been turning walk-ins away.”
“You think it’s time for a new artist?”
“Not if you’re planning on sticking around.”
“I’m here as long as the others are running smoothly.”
 “Anyone want a coffee? I guess it’s down to us to make it again now,”
Titch says.
“Do you care about anything other than coffee?” Spike barks.
“Um… yeah. Pussy.”
“Fucking hell,” I say, getting up and heading towards my room. “I’ll be
here for a few minutes, but I’m heading to bed in a bit. I’m fucking dead.”
I walk into the room where I laid down my first ink aged fourteen and
breathe in the familiar smell. This room is my home. I feel more at peace in
here than I have anywhere in my life, and I crave it when I’m away too
long.
Picking up my gun, I turn it on and let the buzz flow through my body.
I’ve not inked anyone in what feels like forever, and I’m desperate to make
my mark on someone. I love running my own business, but it takes me
away from what I really love at times: creating art.
I turn it off before I’m tempted to drag one of the guys in here and
demand they let me add to their growing collections. It’s only once I’ve
placed it back down that I realise how tidy the place is.
“What the hell happened in there? It’s like my mum marched in and
tidied my bedroom without permission.” We all know that’s not what
happened because no one outside of my Rebel Ink family knows what I do
on a daily basis. Do I feel guilty about keeping my growing empire from
my family? Sometimes. I know they’d support me, they’re good people, but
that doesn’t mean I need them in my business giving me their opinion and
trying to help. I’ve been an outcast from the day I was born, I may as well
keep it a tradition.
“She happened.” D nods towards the door that his new recruit stormed
through not so long ago. “I told you, she’s good for the place. We didn’t
even ask her to tidy up, she just took it upon herself to remove all the
growing coffee mugs you’d abandoned in your room.” I think back to the
state I know I left it in. I didn’t think anyone would care, seeing as my room
is private. These guys know I don’t share. Not where my room is
concerned, anyway.
“Try all you like, you’re not going to make me feel guilty about this. I’ll
stand by my opinion that she’s not right.”
“Whatever. I’ve got work to do. Maybe you should do some admin
before you hit the sack, seeing as we’re back to no one else doing it,” D
suggests before disappearing into his room.
 Frustration that he can’t see where I’m coming from on this has anger
licking at my insides. We’re usually on the same page. He’s been my
sounding board for almost everything since I was a kid, him and his
nephew. We’ve never been so far apart as we apparently are on this
particular subject.
Titch looks at me and opens his mouth. Knowing something I don’t
want to hear is about to fall from his lips, I cut him off. “Enough. I’ve made
my decision. End of. I’m going to bed.” Turning my back on the two of
them, I walk through the small kitchen and out the back door that leads me
to the flat above.
I could easily afford to move out of this place and have a decent sized
flat, or house for that matter, but why would I when I basically live
downstairs or at one of my other studios?
The small space smells musty as I push the front door open. Kicking my
boots off, I open every window I walk past.
Pulling open the fridge, I find one can of beer, a tub of butter and some
cheese.
Slamming it shut, I decide against food and go straight for the bedroom
instead.
The sheets are still a mess and there’s a used condom and its empty
wrapper sitting on the bedside table. I have a vague recollection of the night
before my flight to America. I’d gone out with Titch after finishing up here
for the night and pulled some blonde girl. Ava, Anna, Amy… something like
that. All I remember was that she kept me up the rest of the night, meaning
that I was able to get some sleep on the plane and almost get myself on US
time from the second I landed. Shame I didn’t have the same for the journey
home.
My muscles grow heavy as I start pulling my clothes from my body
with my need to crash. The second I’m down to my boxers, I fall face-first
into my bed. I can faintly smell that chick’s perfume, but no sooner have I
had the thought than I pass out.

It’s gone midday by the time I open my eyes, totally confused as to where I
am and what day it is, or why it’s so cold.
 Reaching over for my phone, I find the bedside table where it usually
sits empty. Groaning, I lean over the side of the bed until I find my jeans
and dig in my pockets until I find it.
Saturday, right.
I spend a couple of hours cleaning the place up. I’ve been gone almost
three weeks, but now I’m back it feels like I never left. I throw the contents
of my suitcase into the washing machine and pull up an online shopping
app to get myself some food delivered, or more importantly, some alcohol.
I’m randomly adding shit to my basket when a message comes through.

D: You come to your senses now you’ve had some sleep? Here’s her
phone number so you can call, apologise, and beg her to come back.

Rolling my eyes at him, I return to what I was doing, not understanding

what his obsession with the posh girl is. He knows my background,
understands the life I’ve distanced myself from. I’d have thought he’d have
known that I wouldn’t have been up for having a Made in Chelsea reject
sitting behind the desk downstairs.
He’s probably banging her, a little voice says in my head. I bet she’s
terrible in the sack. All the stuck-up ones are. They seem to think their
looks and beauty are all they need.
An hour before we open for the day, I head down to get a sense for how
things have really been while I’ve been away. I trust D with my life, but it’s
good to see what’s been happening with my own eyes.
With a huge mug of coffee I fall down onto the chair in my room and
power up my computer. I check my emails and respond to any urgent ones,
leaving the rest for later, then I pull up our appointments and have to do a
double-take when I find it looks completely different to when I left. Each of
us has been colour coded, and it’s so much easier to see what we’re all up to
on each day. Why didn’t I know this programme did that? I also find that all
the accounts are up to date. Every single purchase that’s been made has
been categorised and is ready to go to my accountant.
“What the hell?” I ask myself, liking but equally confused by this kind
of organisation. A little bit of doubt starts to creep in. Did I do the wrong
thing last night? I know I flew off the handle a little when I first saw her. I
was jetlagged, I couldn’t help it. But is D right? Despite appearances is she
what we need?
 I push the thought away. We can find someone who can effectively do
this shit and look the part at the same time. We’ve had someone before, and
we’ll find them again.
I open up a new tab and type in the recruitment site I’ve used in the past
when trying to find staff to see if the ad needs updating when the front door
to the shop opens.
I look to the door, waiting for one of the guys to poke their head around
the frame but no one does. The sound of someone shuffling around
continues to sound out.
My curiosity gets the better of me and I head out to see what’s going on.
When I get to the reception entrance, I find a woman standing with her back
to me. Her hair’s pink on the tips, she’s wearing a short leather jacket and a
pair of skinny jeans so tight they should be fucking illegal, and a pair of
biker boots on her feet. My eyes stay on her arse and the delicious curve of
her hips a little too long before I find it in me to speak.
“I’m sorry, but we’re not actually open yet.”
She stiffens at the sound of my voice, and after a beat she speaks. “I’m
aware.”
My brows draw together in confusion. Who the hell is this woman?
Then she turns and my chin damn near hits the floor.
“You?”
The smile that curls at her lips has something stirring beneath my skin,
and I already know I’m in trouble.

OceanofPDF.com
 4

Tabitha

B ang on an hour later and the buzzer to my flat is ringing out. I rush
to let Danni in, my excitement for what I’ve got planned beginning
to get the better of me.
The second I stepped out of Rebel Ink I booked an Uber and went
straight to the closest supermarket. I begged the driver to wait for me and
had the quickest trip around that shop that I’ve ever had in my life, but
when I emerged less than ten minutes later, I had everything I’d need to put
my plan into place.
“What the hell’s going on?” Danni asks as she follows me toward my
kitchen and accepts the glass of sauvignon I hand her.
“I’ve got a new job,” I announce.
“Oh? I didn’t know you were looking.”
“I wasn’t, but I saw a poster and took it as a sign. I made that promise to
Gran and quite honestly, I feel like I’ve been letting her down. I promised
her I’d start living my own life, not the one my parents want for me, but
I’ve just continued down on the same path.”
“That’s not true, you’re doing your Masters.”
One side of my mouth twists. “I was already doing that.”
“Okay, fair point. So this job?” she asks again, curling her feet up
underneath her and getting comfortable on my sofa.
 “It’s in a tattoo studio.”
Danni almost spits her wine out in shock. “It’s in a what?”
“A tattoo studio,” I repeat, although I’ve no idea why. It’s obvious she
heard the first time.
“Why?”
I shrug. “Thought it might be fun.”
“Working with a group of tatted up, biker thugs?”
“Stereotypical much? Not everyone who has a tattoo is a thug, Dan.” I
lift my cami to show her my ribs as a point.
“Obviously I know that, but tattoo artists are—”
“Are what? Please enlighten me, I’d love to hear your opinion seeing as
you’ve probably never spoken to one.” Of course, this is very much not true
seeing as I’ve discovered her very own brother is one, and my new boss it
seems. He might have been all kinds of arsehole tonight, but I’m not going
to out him to his sister, not yet anyway. I want to fight this battle myself as
his pissed-off employee, not his sister’s best friend.
“Okay, fine. I’ve no idea. You tell me, what are they like?”
“Mostly pretty awesome.” I talk about D, Titch and Spike and all their
crazy quirks that I’ve discovered that make them so fun to work with.
“So it’s all guys… and you?”
“Yep,” I state proudly.
“I bet that’s a sight to see.”
“Yeah well, that’s kind of why you’re here. I want to… fit in more.”
“Okaaay,” she drawls hesitantly, leaning forward to put her glass on the
coffee table.
I get up and grab the bag from the shop. “Yep, you’re going to help me
embrace my wild side.” I pull out the box of hair dye and place it next to
her wine.
“Pink?”
“Pink,” I agree with a smile, excitement exploding in my belly for the
first time in a long time.
“What else is in the bag?” I tip out the contents and watch as she
inspects each one. “You bought supermarket makeup? That’ll be beyond
shit.”
“I didn’t have time for anything else. I’m sure it’ll do the job just fine.
So are you going to help me or what?”
 “You mean am I going to watch as you turn yourself into someone
who’s going to give your dad a heart attack? Hell yes!”
Danni picks up both our glasses of wine and I collect up the bottles and
tubes littering my coffee table. Together we head towards my bathroom.
“So the whole lot pink?”
“No, just my blonde tips. You’re probably going to need to paint it on.
I’ll grab you a brush.” I leave her in the bathroom in favour of one of my
spare bedrooms that I’ve turned into my studio and rummage through my
brushes until I find out suitable that I’m willing to ruin.
“This is London, you know. I’m sure you could have found a salon,”
she shouts.
“Probably, I just thought this would be more fun. If I like it, I can go
and get it done properly.”
The next hour passes by with lots of laughs, disbelief from my friend
and another glass of wine each while we’re surrounded by the stench of the
ammonia in the dye. I refuse to look in the mirror until she’s dried and
straightened it.
My hair’s been pretty boring most of my life. The girl who hid in the
shadows at school had non-descript mousy brown, cut straight across hair. It
was never in the latest fashion like the ‘cool’ kids and it had never been
anywhere near any dye. I got a little braver as I got closer to my twenties
and had some blonde highlights added, but, still under my parents’ thumbs,
I was afraid to do anything too wild that they would disapprove of.
Until a few minutes ago, it was brown and blonde ombre. I loved that it
had the hint of following the fashion but still kept my parents happy. What
we’ve just done, on the other hand, is going to go down like a lead balloon.
If the dye’s worked as I’m imagining then the bottom of my hair will no
longer be honey blonde but a striking pink.
My hands tremble slightly with my excitement to see how it’s turned
out.
Danni takes her time. I’m not sure if she’s torturing me on purpose for
being so crazy or just doing a thorough job, but my impatience is getting the
better of me.
“Are you done yet?”
“Just about.”
She straightens the final layer before gently brushing it through.
“Go on then.”
 I suck in a breath and stand. I count to three and lift my eyes to the
mirror. “Oh my god,” I gasp, my fingers coming up to touch the pink
staring back at me. “I love it.”
“Really?” I glance at Danni who’s over my shoulder in the mirror,
looking a little hesitant.
“Yeah, really. Why didn’t I do this years ago?”
“Because—”
“Don’t say it,” I interrupt. I don’t need her to tell me how weak I’ve
been when it comes to my parents. Her mum and dad are so supportive of
everything she does. She’s no idea what it was like for me growing up with
them breathing down my neck every second, ensuring I do what pleases
them.
She shrugs at me but her eyes tell me exactly what she’s thinking. I
refill our once again empty glasses and Danni orders our favourite Chinese
dishes to be delivered, and we continue on our impromptu girly night in. It’s
been too long since I had a night like this. We usually end up out in one of
the many cocktail bars across the city, but this right now is perfect. A bit of
one-on-one time with my bestie, even if I do feel guilty about keeping quite
a big secret from her.
It would be so easy to open my mouth and explain how her youngest
older brother is now my boss, but for one I doubt she’d believe me; they all
think they know Zach, turns out they have no idea. But also because for
some fucked-up reason I feel the need to keep his secret. I’ve no idea why, I
owe him nothing, especially after the way he treated me tonight, but
something stops the words falling from my lips.
“I’m so excited for this time next week. I’ve got an epic night planned,”
she says, putting her phone down on the arm of the chair, grabbing her wine
and turning to me.
“Oh come on, tell me,” I whine. Danni’s oldest brother, Harrison, is
getting married in two weeks. Technically they’re already married, seeing
as they had a spur of the moment Vegas wedding a few years ago. His
already wife, Summer, has entrusted Danni as her maid of honour and chief
organiser of the hen do. Personally, I think she’s crazy. Summer is quite
quiet and reserved, and I have a feeling that her hen do is going to be
anything but, especially if the current twinkle in my best friend’s eye is
anything to go by.
 Danni introduced me to Summer at uni when she first started. She’s an
art undergrad, so we’re often in the department together, and our love of art
meant we bonded pretty fast.
“Nope, you’ll have to wait to find out just like everyone else.”
I huff, trying to come up with a way to get the information I need.
“Okay, well… what should I wear?”
“Your most awesome dress, obviously.” She rolls her eyes like it was
the most ridiculous question in the world.
“She’s going to hate you if you embarrass her, you know that right?”
“She’ll get over it. It’s her last hurrah, it needs to be all kinds of
awesome.” I don’t disagree with that, but I fear Summer’s and Danni’s
ideas of awesome vary somewhat.
“Oh, dinner’s here,” Danni announces, dragging me from my thoughts
and practically running for the door.

I walk out of the flat with a newfound confidence the next day. I spent all
morning in my studio working on a project for uni before jumping in the
shower, washing all the paint off me and getting ready for my busy
Saturday shift at work.
A shudder runs up my spine as I think about Zach’s cold eyes as he
stared at me last night. He really hated me on sight. I want to say he
disliked me at school, but honestly, that would mean he’d have had to have
noticed me. I was like a ghost in that place; the girl who loitered in the
shadows, afraid of doing anything that would disrespect my parents. Dad
had hopes of making more contacts with the parents of the private school
kids I spent my days with. I think he hoped I would befriend the wealthiest
and would be able to form a connection with their parents. Needless to say,
I wasn’t friends with any of the kids he would have liked me to have been.
I’m ready early and already antsy about turning up at the studio looking
like a totally different version of myself, so instead of pacing my living
room, I book an Uber and head off into the city for a little retail therapy
before starting work. I’ve got a pretty vast wardrobe but it mostly consists
of ‘posh girl’ (as I’m sure Zach would put it) blouses, jumpers and trousers.
If I’m going to fully own this new look of mine then I need to make some
additions.
I walk up to the heavy front doors of Selfridge’s and smile to myself.
You can take the girl out of the posh clothes, but you can’t take the labels
off them. Shaking my head at my thoughts and the fact that this shop was
my first thought, I continue inside to see what I can find.
I head to my usual favourites and find the most perfect All Saints
leather jacket to finish off my outfit before doubling back on myself when I
walk past a pair of Jimmy Choo biker boots. I grab a few other bits, some
vests along with a red leather skirt and tights to wear underneath.
I’m feeling pleased with myself when I walk back out with my yellow
bags swinging from my fingertips. Where I might be a fan of designer
labels, I’m not usually that much of a fan of shopping because I always find
myself buying the same items, items that could equally be hanging in my
mother’s wardrobe as well as mine, but this morning as I walked around I
felt the buzz of excitement that something new and big was happening. At
least I was taking life by the balls and doing something for me. Something
to show the world who Tabitha Anderson really is. One thing I know for
sure is that she’s not a meek and mild younger version of her mother.
I have the sudden urge to go home and burn all my old clothes, but as I
slide into the back of an Uber, I look at the clock on my phone and realise
that I don’t have time. That shop totally took over my afternoon, and if the
driver doesn’t step on it I’m going to be late.
I laugh quietly to myself. Maybe I should be late just to piss him off
further. I almost ask the driver to go the long way around, but as I sit
forward to do so, I change my mind. He already dislikes me and is probably
hoping that I’m not going to reappear today.
I quickly change my Converse for my new boots and pull my leather
jacket up my arms before thanking the driver and stepping from his car.
The neon light still shows closed, and when I get to the door it’s locked.
I pull the key D gave me from the pocket of my bag and let myself in.
The place is in silence so I assume that I’m the first one in. I push my
Selfridge’s bags under my desk and go into the kitchen to power up the
coffee machine ready for the others’ arrival. I set my coffee going and then
wander out to reception. I start up my computer and stand looking at the
artwork on the walls while everything comes to life and the smell of freshly
brewed coffee permeates the air.
 The sound of his footsteps hits my ears and I freeze, my spine
stiffening. This is it, Tabitha. You need to bring your A game to stand a
chance against this arsehole.
I suck in a deep breath, hoping to drag in a little extra confidence with
it. I’m just about to turn to face him when he speaks. The air I was holding
in my lungs comes rushing out at the sound of his voice.
“I’m sorry, but we’re not actually open yet.” My skin pricks at the deep
roughness. It makes my temperature spike and my irritation levels grow.
I’ve not even looked at him yet.
“I’m aware,” I snap, but I can’t help a smile appearing on my lips. He
has no idea it’s me. Excitement explodes in my stomach. He clearly thinks
I’m a client, which means he must think I belong here. Well, the back of me
at least.
I don’t bother preparing myself this time. His voice has already knocked
me for six so I’m not sure I will ever be as prepared as I need to be to see
him.
I spin on the balls of my feet, revealing myself to him.
My eyes run from his styled blonde hair, over his blue eyes, his straight
nose and strong jaw. The moment his full lips part in shock, I know I’ve
achieved what I intended to. Accomplishment blooms within me and I fight
to keep the smug smile that’s threatening under control.
“You?”
His eyes run the length of me, darkening as they go.
He takes a step forward, but the second he does, his face hardens like he
doesn’t actually want to come closer and his body’s moving of its own
accord.
“Well, you didn’t actually fire me,” I state, popping my hip out.
“That doesn’t mean I think you’d come back, or change… for my
benefit.” His eyes sparkle as the realisation that he has some kind of power
over me must hit him.
I take a step towards him, squaring my shoulders and preparing to tell
him what I really think of him. “Let’s get something straight here, Zachary.
I did not, and will not ever change for a man, especially one as rude and
arrogant as you. So you can get the idea that you had anything to do with
this out of your massive egotistical head right now. I did this for me. I’ll
give you the credit that you helped give me the push I needed, but that’s it.”
 A smirk widens on his lips, and my hand twitches to reach out and slap
it away. “Riiight.” He closes the space between us even more and
something sparks the second I feel his heat seeping into my skin. I tell
myself it’s my loathing for his attitude, but I fear it might be something
else. “And what will your boyfriend think of this little change? I can’t
imagine he’ll be all that impressed, seeing as he probably keeps you around
to look good on his arm and make his mother happy.”
I bare my teeth in anger and he just laughs, making me want to hurt
him.
“I’m no one’s trophy. No one owns me or has any influence over what I
choose to wear.” A little voice in my head tells me that’s not true, seeing as
I’ve been listening to my parents for far too many years of my life, but I
slam her back inside the trapdoor she belongs behind.
“So you’re single then.”
I open my mouth to respond, but really he can’t be closer to the truth. A
smile spreads across his face, making a dimple pop in his cheek, and damn
him if it doesn’t make him look even better.
“If you turn out to be a shit admin, I guess I could make use of you in
other ways.”
My eyes almost pop out of my head. “Did you just call me a hooker?”
He laughs, full on laughs in my face. “You think I’d need to pay you to
get you into my bed?”
“There’s nothing in this world you could do that would get me there.”
He’s so close that our noses are almost touching, our breaths mingling.
All I can smell is him, and fuck if it’s not making my knickers a little damp.
His arrogance should not be affecting me right now. I should be turned off.
“I’ll take that as a challenge then, Tabby Cat.”
I suck in a huge breath through my nose, my eyes burning at hearing
that nickname. Only Gran ever got away with calling me that. “Don’t.
Don’t ever call me that. It’s Biff, Tabitha if you must, but not ever that.”
“Touch a nerve, did I, sweetheart?” He lifts his hand to tuck a lock of
my pink hair behind my ear and I fight like hell not to lean into his soft
touch. I refuse to allow him to affect me. I hate him.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, my little pussy cat, I fully intend to.”
My teeth grind so hard I’m worried it’ll crack one.
 We’re still staring daggers at each other when the bell above the door
chimes, announcing someone else’s arrival.
“Whoa girl, what happened to you?” Titch takes my hand and
thankfully tugs me away from Zach. He lifts his arm and encourages me to
spin. I’m halfway around when Zach’s angry blue eyes catch mine. But this
time, they’re not staring at me. He’s directing his death stare at Titch.
“Have you two just about fucking finished?” Zach seethes.
“Jesus, who pissed in your coffee this morning?”
“Go and do some work and stop eye-fucking our admin girl.”
The girl comment grates on me, but I decide to let it slide seeing as
Zach now really is pumped for a fight.
“Aw, come on, man. Even you’ve got to admit how banging she’s
looking. You might have been a wanker last night, but I’m tempted to say it
was worth it seeing as this is the result.”
Zach mumbles something under his breath and turns to walk away.
“What you so pissy about? You basically told her to do this.”
He pauses in the doorway but obviously chooses not to respond, as a
second later he continues again.

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 5

Zach

M y head’s fucking spinning as I close my studio door behind me

and lean back against it. Is Titch right? Is all that my fault?
I should have let her continue in her posh girl clothes. At
least then all she did was piss me off. Now, she pisses me off while I picture
doing wicked things to her in my head that are no good for anyone.
Don’t fuck your staff no matter how hot they are, I say to myself as a
reminder.
I need to stay away from her—not that that’s going to be all that easy
when she spends her time only feet away from me.
Fucking hell.
Trying to push the image of her from my head, I fall on my chair and
pull up today’s schedule. I’m packed out all day, it doesn’t even look like
I’m getting a fucking lunch break. Well, I guess that’s what happens when I
disappear on regulars for almost three weeks.
It can’t be ten minutes later when there’s a knock at my door. Assuming
it’s my first client, I call out for whoever it is to enter but keep my eyes on
my screen as I try to rack my brain for what we were working on before I
went away.
Sadly, when the door’s cracked open, I know who it is even before she
speaks. Her perfume fills the room and my mouth waters.
 “I… uh… brought you a coffee. Not that you deserve it.” She mutters
the last bit under her breath.
“I pay your wages, I’m pretty sure I deserve it.” I spin on my chair and
pin her with a look that stops her walking any farther into the room.
“No, that just means that I should do my job. At no point have I seen
anywhere that it’s required for me to be nice to you.” The second she says it
she slams her lips together, her eyes widening in shock.
Her panic that she’s just spoken that way to her boss tells me a lot about
her. Mostly that she probably is the posh girl I believe her to be who
follows orders and doesn’t ever speak out of turn—apart from with me, it
seems.
Pushing my chair out behind me, I stand and stalk over to her, my eyes
taking a slow perusal of her body as I move.
“You know… there’s a tradition around here. I’m not sure if Titch told
you.” She bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head slightly, her
chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly with my approach. “Yeah, see, in
order to work here, you need ink. And that ink can only be applied by me.”
“Who says I haven’t got any already?”
“You might have a tat or two hiding under these clothes, Tabby Cat.
Although I very much doubt it.” She bristles at my use of the nickname she
apparently hates so much. I lean in to whisper and chuckle when she tries to
move away. Sadly the only place she’s going is up against the wall, which
isn’t a terrible idea. “But, if there is then I know for a fucking fact that I
didn’t do it. I assure you that if you were laid out on my table that I’d
remember. I’m pretty sure you would too.”
“Y-yeah, why’s that?” she asks, but the way she tenses makes me
wonder if she’s already regretting the question.
“I always remember the virgins.” I pull back and look at her. Her
usually grey eyes flash with a little blue.
“Well, like I said, I’m not. So if you don’t mind, I’ve got work to do.”
She presses her delicate hands to my chest and my heart pounds against
them. I don’t know whether to knock them off or to pull her closer. New
looks aside, everything about this woman is everything I hate and
everything I’ve tried to escape from.
“Prove it,” I taunt.
She takes a step away but holds my eyes. “No.” They narrow with
contempt. My need to win the challenge she unknowingly set out in
reception becomes even more possible to deny. The only question is, how
long am I going to be able to hold off? Should I just fuck her now and send
her on her merry way back to her privileged life, or should I have a little fun
first?
The bell from the front door fills the silent space around us as our eye
contact holds, the air crackling with hate and desire. She’s trying to look
unaffected by me, but she’s doing a really shitty job of it.
“You should probably go and see who that is. You know, do that job I
pay you for.”
She sucks in a breath and shoves my coffee into my chest. The hot
liquid splashes over the side, lightly scalding my skin before she turns to
leave.
“Tabby Cat?” She stops but she doesn’t turn back to me. “I will find that
ink. If it so exists.”
“No fucking chance.” And then she’s gone, leaving only her tempting
scent behind her.
I don’t get to dwell on it because no sooner has she gone than my first
client of the day is standing in my doorway. The second I see him, I
remember exactly what we were working on.
“It’s good to see you, Mark. Grab a seat.”
We chat for a few minutes to confirm what we’re adding to his design
before he drops his jeans to the chair on the other side on the room and
climbs up into position.
The second my gun comes to life, I forget about everything with Tabitha
and just focus on the task in hand. Just as it’s always been since I did my
first tattoo at fourteen, the world falls away and the only thing that matters
is the marks I’m making, the permanent art that my client is allowing me to
stain their skin with.
I stop a few times to drink what’s left in my mug of coffee and to give
Mark a short break as I work on the design we started a while ago on his
leg.
By the time he’s done, my hand aches but the muscles that were knotted
in my shoulder have all relaxed and I feel more like myself than I have done
in a while.
I expect my next client to appear seeing as we’ve now got a receptionist
who’s good at her job according to the others, but even long after Mark has
left no one appears at my door.
 With a sigh, I get up and walk her way. I come to a stop in the doorway
to reception and take her in. She’s sitting behind the desk, her full attention
on the screen in front of her while her lips move in time with the music
that’s quietly playing.
She doesn’t notice me approach, so when I do announce my arrival she
almost jumps out of her seat.
“Where’s my next client? I thought you said I was fully booked.”
“Jesus, Zach. Are you trying to kill me?”
“Chance would be a fine thing. I can’t even get rid of you,” I mutter, but
from the narrowing of her eyes I’m thinking she heard me.
“I don’t know. I’ve tried ringing her but it keeps going to voicemail, so
I’m assuming she’s not coming.”
I lean myself against the door frame as I look her over. “I guess I’ve got
time then. Wanna play?”
“Not with you.”
“Burn,” Titch says, emerging from his room just as Tabitha tries to put
me in my place. “He bothering you again?”
“Isn’t he always?”
“I can kick his arse for you, if you like.”
“Fuck off can you.” I laugh, but it’s not because it’s true. His nickname
might be Titch but don’t make the mistake that it’s because he’s small—he’s
anything but. He’s also spent time in the London underground fighting ring,
so I most definitely wouldn’t back myself should he turn on me.
“I’m not sure I could handle hearing you scream like a little pussy when
I put you down. But don’t think I won’t for this one.”
My fists curl as he walks over to her desk and drops down in front of it
so he can have a private conversation with her. I’ve no fucking clue what
they’re talking about, for all I know it’s something as innocent as his next
appointment, but fuck if seeing them together sharing some kind of secret
doesn’t make something stir uncomfortably in my stomach. I want to be the
one to make her squirm, to make her scream.
Stop it, she’s your employee.
“Something going on here I should know about?” I stalk towards the
desk, looking between the two of them and hoping that I look pissed off
rather than the other feeling that’s racing wildly through my veins that I
don’t want to identify.
 “We’re good. Titch was just being nice. I’m not sure that’s something
you’d understand.”
“Try me.” She shakes her head, takes something from Titch’s hand and
stands from the desk.
“I’m just popping out. I won’t be long, I’m sure you’re more than
capable of holding the fort.”
“This is my fucking business,” I fume.
“Exactly,” she sneers at me.
I should walk away, but my eyes refuse to move as she grabs her jacket
from the coat rack behind her and pulls it on. Her t-shirt lifts and reveals an
inch of perfect milky skin. My mouth waters but not before I feel the
burning stare of my best friend.
“I won’t be long,” she says to Titch, walking towards the door.
“Wait,” I bark. “Pick me up some lunch while you’re out.”
“No,” she says, a smirk playing on her lips when she turns back to look
at me.
“No?”
“No. Not unless you ask nicely.”
I roll my eyes. Is this woman for fucking real? “Please, Tabby Cat,
could you get me some lunch?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” She’s gone before I have the opportunity to tell
her what I want.
“What?” I snap at Titch who’s still staring at me like I’ve grown a
second head.
“You like her, don’t you?”
“No, she’s fucking annoying and everything I hate. You should know
that.”
“So, hot as shit, witty as fuck, and totally your type is everything you
hate?”
“She’s just…” I trail off, trying to find the right words to describe my
newest pain in the arse employee that I had nothing to do with hiring.
“Everything you want?”
“No, she’s really fucking not.”
“That’s good, because I think she’s awesome.”
“Good for you.”
“So you don’t mind if I make a move?” I can’t tell if he’s being serious
or just trying to piss me off enough to get a reaction out of me. Whatever it
is, I refuse to show that his words affect me in any way.
“Nope. Eat your heart out.”
A wicked smile turns up at the corner of his mouth. “Was thinking about
a work night out. Welcome her to Rebel properly. What do you say?”
“Whatever. I’ve got work to do.”
I walk away from him before the warning on the tip of my tongue to
stay away from her sneaks out, giving away everything I’m thinking right
now.
There’s no fucking way he’s sinking his teeth into Tabitha. If anyone’s
going to get her then it’s me. When I want, where I want, and exactly how I
want.
I disappear back to my room, leaving Titch to plan his night out. If he
really thinks that he’s going to get a chance with Tabitha then he’s got
another think coming.
I click about on the computer for a bit but don’t do anything of any
importance. I can’t get the hopeful look in Titch’s eyes from my head, or
the way they leaned into each other as they whispered about fuck knows
what.
When her soft knock sounds out on my door, I’m just about ready to
call it a day and get out of here and leave her and Titch to it, but I’ve got a
ton of clients to get through yet.
“What?” I bark, pushing my chair out with such force it slams against
the unit behind me.
“Did you want this now?”

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 6

Tabitha

I drop Titch’s lunch into his studio first, mainly because he’s nice and
asked me very politely if I’d run to the closest McDonalds for him
seeing as he had clients all afternoon. He gave me money and his
order and I had no issue.
The boss, on the other hand. Him I had an issue with.
I can still feel the tingles just beneath my skin from the way he was
looking at the two of us as Titch leaned forward to whisper his order to me.
His wink clued me in to the fact that he was merely doing it to piss Zach
off, and the second I saw the murderous look on his face I couldn’t help but
think it was an awesome idea. It was instantly obvious that I’m not the only
one feeling this weird vibe between us. Things aren’t all that different from
when we were kids in that he’s still an arrogant arse, I hate him, and he’s
still the hottest man in probably any room he walks into. But—and this is a
big but, one that’s irritating the hell out of me—why can’t I stop imagining
what he might look like if he were to whip his shirt off and put his lips on
my skin? My core clenches now even at the thought.
He’s wrong. Everything I’ve never wanted. But man, I can’t help but
crave a taste right now. He’s trying to piss me off because he clearly hates
me for some reason as much as I do him, but with every insult that falls
from his lips, my body just seems to want his more. I really need to get laid.
It’s been months since I ended my last disastrous attempt at a relationship,
and things have been more than a little dry for me since then. I’ve been
telling myself that my vibrating friend does the job perfectly well, but
maybe I’m just kidding myself. Maybe what I need is a night with a man. A
capable one who can blow my socks off, give me the release I need so I can
focus on what I should be doing with my life. Not obsessing over my
arsehole boss.
“You are a fucking legend, Biff.” I can’t help smiling at Titch’s praise.
He’s a really good guy, despite his choice in friends.
“It’s nothing. I got yours last so hopefully it’ll still be hot.”
“Appreciated,” he says, unwrapping his burger and taking a giant bite.
“What’d you get boss man?” he mumbles around the food.
I open the paper bag in my hand and show him the contents. He damn
near spits out his half-chewed food as he barks a laugh.
“He’s gonna love you for that.”
“I don’t know what you mean, I thought this was his kind of thing,” I
say innocently, shrugging my shoulder, but the smile that plays on my lips
shows I’m anything but.
I turn to leave but a nondescript noise from Titch has me stopping at the
door.
“Biff,” he mumbles before swallowing. “Night out tonight. Celebrate
our new member of staff. No excuses.”
I nod, because it seems like that’s the only choice I have. Although, to
be honest a few drinks and a little dancing does sound like a fantastic idea.
Maybe Zach will even remove the stick from his arse long enough to enjoy
himself—if he even bothers coming. “Give me the details and I’m there.”
I leave him to his lunch, having already seen way too much of his half-
eaten burger in his mouth and hesitantly head towards Zach’s closed door.
I knock but only to be polite. What I really want to do is storm inside
his room and throw the lunch I so lovingly picked out at his head.
“Do you want this now?” I ask as I poke my head into the room.
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t move. He doesn’t even turn to acknowledge I’m here, so I’m
forced to take it over to him. I guess I could drop it to the floor, but then I
won’t see his reaction to my choice.
I lower the bag beside him and wait.
“A coffee wouldn’t go amiss as well.”
 “I’ll see what I can do.”
I take a step back and butterflies erupt in my belly as he looks into the
bag.
“What the fuck is this?” he asks, pulling out the vegan superfood salad I
picked up for him followed by the disgusting green bottle of goodness that I
thought would finish the meal nicely.
“You didn’t specify, and I thought seeing as you obviously work out that
maybe you’re on a health kick.”
“This isn’t healthy, this is rabbit food.” He stands and takes a step
towards me, forcing me to take one back.
“I think it’s the same thing,” I counter.
“I can smell McDonald’s.”
“That’s what Titch asked for.”
“And you didn’t think to get me something while you were there?”
My back hits the door I came through not so long ago as he continues to
stalk towards me, his blue eyes sparkling with irritation and desire causing
heat to zero in on my core.
“You didn’t say what you wanted.” I tilt my head to the side and try to
look innocent. I’m not so sure it works.
His forearm lands on the door right beside my head, and he stares down
at me. His scent surrounds me and I fight to keep control of my breathing
with him so close, but I know it’s not a battle that I’m winning.
“How about you go back and get me some real food? Something that
involves meat, maybe.”
“How about… go fuck yourself. You asked for food, I got you food.
Maybe you should consider being more specific next time.”
His jaw pops as his teeth grind. “I should have sacked you yesterday.”
“Maybe, but you didn’t.” I probably shouldn’t provoke him because he
could still quite easily get rid of me, although my instincts tell me that he’s
enjoying me being around more than he’d ever admit.
His lips part with a comeback, but the second I look down at them he
closes them again. The silence is heavy but nowhere near as suffocating as
the tension that crackles between us.
He moves closer still and my eyelids are desperate to close, but I need
to keep my wits about me. He might look like he’s going to kiss me but I
doubt that’s what’s actually going to happen.
“You need to get the fuck out of my room.”
 I don’t move immediately other than to lift my eyes. When I find the
dark blue staring back at me I’m frozen. My chest heaves as our breaths
mingle and my breasts very lightly brush against his shirt. My nipples
harden and my core floods with heat. I’m pretty sure that if he were to make
any kind of move right now I wouldn’t have it in me to stop him, no matter
how much I dislike the wanker.
“Now.” An amused smile curls at his lips as I scramble to get away
from him and pull the door open.
I’ve almost made my escape when the arsehole calls me back. As if I
need any more torture.
“What?” I bark, desperate for a few minutes alone to breathe.
“Once you’ve cooled off, go back and get me a fucking burger or two,
hey?”
“Go your-fucking-self. I’m not your slave.” His quick intake of breath is
the last thing I hear before I slam his door shut and run to the kitchen.
Resting my back on the counter, I drop my head back and drag in a few
deep breaths. This thing between us is going to go one of two ways: I’m
either going to fall into bed with him and allow him to fuck my brains out,
or I’m going to cause him some physical damage in an attempt to shut him
the fuck up. I’m not sure which idea I prefer the most, if I’m being honest.
Fucking him and hurting him both sound quite appealing.
Once I feel like I’ve somewhat composed myself. I grab my own lunch
and sit myself at the little breakfast bar. Usually I’d sit out the front and eat,
but seeing as I treated myself while I was getting Titch’s lunch, not Zach’s,
I don’t want to stink the reception out with my takeout grease smell.
I feel better once I’ve got a full belly, and, with a fresh coffee in hand, I
make my way to my desk. I ignored both Zach’s requests for a different
lunch and a coffee. I’ve no idea what his last slave died of but I’m certainly
not replacing her.
Turning my monitor on, I find a handful of new emails. One makes me
roll my eyes. Does he really think he’s being clever?

From: Zach Abbot

To: Tabitha Anderson
Subject: Why have a dog and bark myself?

Tabby Cat,
Don’t worry. I welcomed my own client in.

I need:

A decent lunch. I’m starving

A cup of coffee
You, panting up against my wall once again
Z ;)

My curser hovers over the delete button. I don’t want to give into his
pettiness, but something stops me.

To: Zach Abbot

From: Tabitha Anderson
Subject: Read my job description

Get your own

Get your own
Get a dog

BIFF

I emphasize my name in the hope that one day soon he’ll quit with the
nickname that makes me want to cry every time I hear it. I’ve been called it
many times over the years, but I fucking hate it. It was only my gran who
kept it up, and coming from her mouth, it didn’t annoy me quite so much.
Unlike when I hear Zach say it and it makes me want to rip his tongue out.
I don’t get a response so I can only assume that he’s too busy working
on the client I failed to let in. I’m only working here four days a week; he’s
going to have to get used to seeing his own clients in on the other days.
It must be almost an hour later when the bell above the door rings and a
guy in a black and aqua jacket walks in carrying an insulated delivery bag.
“Delivery for Zach,” the guy says, unzipping the bag and pulling out a
brown paper bag that matches the one I put in the bin not so long ago. He
goes to put it down on my desk, but like hell am I going to be the one who
delivers it to Zach.
 “Third door on the right.” I point him down the corridor and then turn
back to my computer so he can’t argue.
The rest of the night goes by fairly smoothly, but that’s mostly because
Zach stays hidden away and I refuse to step foot in his room. If he wants a
drink then he must think better of it because I receive no more requests.

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 7

Zach

M y irritation doesn’t leave me all afternoon. Even the buzz of my

gun does fuck all to get rid of it. The only thing I can see no
matter what I’m inking is her dark, desire-filled eyes and her
full red lips as she stared up at me earlier.
Titch has been in and out of my room like a fucking cuckoo, trying to
convince me to come out with them tonight. I can’t deny that a night out
with the guys after being away doesn’t sound good, but it’s not just the
guys, is it? She’s going. And she’s the reason it’s happening at all. Because
Titch wants to get into her pants. I shake my head as anger tightens my
muscles just thinking about him trying it on with her.
She’s mine.
Whoa… no, no. She’s messing with my fucking head. We’ve only been
under this same roof together for a few hours. There’s no way we’re going
to be able to put up with each other long term, and seeing as this is my
business, I’m not going to be the one who’s leaving. She is.
“All right, fine. I’ll come. But,” I add quickly, “I’m not spending all
night watching you try to hit on Tabitha. I’ve got better shit to do with my
life.”
“You really need a drink and to get fucking laid, you know that right?”
 I flip him off. Of course I fucking know it. My only issue is that I doubt
anyone besides her is going to hit the spot.

After my last client of the night leaves, I sit on my stool hoping that the
others will forget I’m here and go without me. I can hear them all chatting
and laughing out in reception, but I know I’m on borrowed time. All four of
them will have seen my client leave. They all know I’m done and can
probably predict that I’m putting this off.
With a sigh, I start tidying up. My need for a pint outweighs my need to
stay away from her by the time I’ve finished.
“Ah, here he is. We thought we were going to have to come and wrestle
you out of your room.”
I keep my eyes away from where she’s sitting behind her desk. I don’t
want to give her the satisfaction that my hiding away might have had
anything to do with her.
“We getting a fucking drink or sitting around here having a fucking
mothers’ meeting?” I bark, kicking Titch’s foot from the coffee table as I
walk past him.
“We’re going, just waiting for you and Biff to finish up.” I feel her eyes
burning into my back, but I still refuse to give her any attention.
“You guys go. I need to freshen up, then I’ll meet you there in a bit.”
“You sure? I can wait, it’s no problem,” Titch offers, pissing me the
fuck off.
“She told us to go, now let’s go.” I push open the front door, expecting
them to follow.
D and Spike step out seconds later, and Titch comes a minute after
looking torn.
“I need a fucking pint. Come on.”
Our local is only two streets over. The Pear Tree was an old fashioned
London boozer until a couple of years ago when it was modernised into a
bar that’s always busy. Thankfully, by the time we usually finish on a
Saturday most people have already hit the clubs and it’s quietening down.
And that’s exactly as we find it when we walk through the door.
“Lads, long time no see,” Leon, the manager, greets. “The usual?”
 “Yes please.” We find ourselves a booth and wait for him to bring our
drinks over.
“So, what have you guys been up to?” I ask, needing to get my head out
of the studio and away from Biff while I’ve got a reprieve.
“Same as, same as,” D says, but he turns to Spike. “This one’s got a new
girl on the go.” I raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate.
“It’s nothing serious.”
“That’s not how it looked last weekend. She was clinging to you like a
koala bear.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she thinks it’s more than it is. She’s a fucking
good lay though, so I’ll let her cling for a while longer. What about
America? Those Cali girls are hot, right?”
I think back to the girls walking around on the beaches flaunting almost
everything they had. “Ah man, I could have moved. They we’re something-
fucking-else.”
“Hook up much?”
“Every-fucking-night.” Okay, so that’s a lie, but I’m not telling them
that. They think I live ‘the life’ and I’m not ruining it for them. “Came back
for a rest.”
“Lovely,” a soft female voice says from behind me that sends shivers
down my spine. “I’m sure the female population of California were gutted
their personal sex god had to leave.”
Her eyes hold mine, her disgust for my actions clear in her grey depths.
I hate it, and my need to tell her that I’m exaggerating slightly is right on
the end of my tongue.
“Whoa, you scrub up well, girl,” Titch says. “Scoot up, D-man, let the
girl in.” Titch slaps D in the chest and he stands, allowing Tabitha to slide
into that side of the booth.
Part of me wants to stop her sitting next to him—he could do anything
beneath the shield of the table—but not wanting to show it affects me, I sit
on my hands and keep my lips sealed. My eyes, however… they feast on
her. She’s still wearing the skin-tight jeans but she’s now teamed it with a
low cut, loose black top and a pair of black sky-high heels with little
chrome studs on them. Her hair is as bright as it was earlier, but instead of
straight, it’s got a curl to it and her make-up is dark, making her look even
more mysterious and appealing. The posh girl I first met is starting to
disappear, and I need to keep hold of that image of her to stop me doing
something I’m going to regret.
Titch’s eyes are locked on the swell of her breasts, and it takes every bit
of restraint I have not to lean over the table and slap him.
“What do you want to drink?” he asks.
“I doubt Leon stocks Crystal, Tabby Cat.”
“Good thing that’s not what I drink.” She throws me a look that might
make a weaker man crumble, but she needs to learn that I’m not going to be
backing down from her attitude.
“Jack and Coke would be great.”
“Double coming right up, baby.”
My teeth grind that he’s planning on getting her drunk so he can get
what he wants. The fucker knows I’m on his wavelength too, because when
he turns to go to the bar, he fucking winks at me.
The tension around the table crackles while D and Spike look between
Tabitha and me like we’re going to start a fist fight any moment.
“Don’t let me stop your enlightening rundown of your American
conquests,” she says with a smirk.
“With pleasure.” I want to look away from her, but because she’s
requested this, I look her straight in the eyes as I tell the story of one of my
wilder nights in California. “They’re fucking dirty over there. Corey and I
went to this beach party. There were bikini clad girls everywhere, the music
was banging, the alcohol was overflowing. It was like nothing I’ve ever
seen before. Basically one big outside orgy. Girls and guy, girls and girl,
guys and guys. No one was off limits.” Tabitha’s face scrunches in disgust.
It’s kind of cute. Unable to hold my stare, she looks to Spike when he starts
talking.
“We’re going on a work trip there, right?” Spike asks. He’s basically
salivating at the thought alone. Fucking dog. If Tabitha thinks I’m bad then
she should hear some of Spike’s tales. He’s definitely one that no guy wants
for his sister. I smile to myself, thinking that Danni would thankfully run in
the opposite direction of any of my friends. I’ll forever be grateful that her
type seems to be suave bankers.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I say with a laugh. “Corey was loving it. It was
clear he was right at home from the moment I arrived.”
“Ah man, why didn’t I offer to relocate?”
 “Because the girl you were getting your cock wet in at the time was
more important.”
“Ugh, Krissy. Do you know that bitch gave me crabs?”
“Yeah, you might have mentioned it.”
“You guys do realise we’ve got a woman present, right?” D asks,
glancing at Tabitha.
“The second you employed her she sadly became one of us. She can
deal, she knows where the door is.”
I look back to her. Her back straightens and her shoulders square. “I’ve
dealt with worse than you lot. I’ve probably even got a few stories of my
own that would make you blush.”
“That right, Biff baby?” Spike asks, his interest suddenly focused on her
and her possible dirty story.
“Fuck off have you. You’re so straight laced, you’re probably a virgin.”
“Have you about finished?” Titch asks, coming to a stop at the table
with a tray full of drinks. “We’re meant to be celebrating Biff starting with
us, not scaring her off and dragging her darkest secrets from the closet.”
“Just getting to know her better.” Something crackles between us as our
eyes hold. The guys seem to vanish around us as I try to dive into her head
to find out if she’s lying. I want to say she is, but that little saying ‘beware
of the quiet ones’ rings out in my head.

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 8

Tabitha

M y heart’s out of control in my chest as I hold Zach’s stare, trying

to appear like I’m telling the truth when in reality the wildest
thing that’s ever happened in my sex life is probably a really
bad attempt at shower sex.
The last thing I wanted to do tonight was to have to sit and listen to
Zach’s American conquests while Titch tries to hit on me. I mean, he’s cute,
but that’s all there is for me.
“Go on then, Tabby Cat. Enlighten us to your wild side,” Zach taunts.
“Give it a rest.” Titch places my drink in front of me. I’m desperate to
reach out and down it in the hope it gives me a little confidence, but I don’t
want to break first. Zach already thinks he knows me; I refuse to appear
weak. “Drink this and shut the fuck up or go home.”
I pray that Zach takes that final suggestion and gets up, but he doesn’t.
He lifts his fresh pint and drinks it while watching me over the rim of the
glass.
“So Biff, you’re single, right?”
“Yep, exactly how I like it. I can have a little fun with no strings and no
responsibilities.”
“A-fucking-men, girl.” He holds his glass out for me to tap mine to.
“Welcome to the team. I think it’s the start of something beautiful.” I want
to agree. I love the three of them, they’re good fun. It’s the boss who has
my stomach in knots and my skin burning with awareness.
Choosing to ignore his piercing stare, I twist myself so I can focus on
what the others have to say.

“You ready to hit the dancefloor, Biff?”

“It’s three in the morning, you can’t be serious.”
“Deadly. I want to see if you’ve got moves.”
I was grateful for my little spur of the moment shopping trip this
morning. It meant I had something to change into for this impromptu night
out.
“Oh, I’ve got moves, don’t you worry.” I wink at Titch and down what’s
left of my drink. I’ve had enough in the past two hours that the thought of
dancing the rest of the morning away doesn’t sound totally insane. I’ve not
pulled an all-nighter in years, so I guess it’s about due.
“Well, what are we waiting for? Hoping Steve will be on the door and
we’ll get right in.”
I don’t get a chance to ask who Steve is because Titch takes my hand
and pulls me from the booth. I assume the others follow, but I don’t really
care. My thoughts are focused on the impending pounding music as it flows
through my body and allows me to forget the world as I move in time.
I’m introduced to Steve. He appears to be a client of one of the guys
seeing as every inch of skin is covered in ink. We skip the line and in
minutes we’ve got shots in our hands, courtesy of some barmaid who takes
one look at Zach, bats her eyelashes and immediately pulls out a bottle of
Jägermeister and lines up a row of shots. She gives me a warning look but I
just smile sweetly. I’ve no intention of getting between her and my boss, if
they’re even a thing. I’ve got the impression from how he’s acted and the
way he spoke about his time in America that he’s free and single.
“Cheers, Tam,” Zach says as he necks his shot and looks at me
expectantly. Does he really think I’m so stuck up that I don’t know how to
down a shot?
I make a show of picking mine up and licking my lips. Zach’s eyes
follow my tongue and the butterflies that have been gently fluttering away
in my stomach take flight once again. He swallows, and the muscle in his
neck ripples as he waits for me to drink.
Sucking in a deep breath, I rip my eyes from him and tip the glass to my
lips.
It’s fucking disgusting, reminding me why I never drink this shit, but
I’m not being seen to refuse. He’ll only assume that it’s because I think I’m
too good for it, which I don’t at all. It’s just not for me.
I manage not to show my distaste as I drop the glass to the bar.
“Right, are you ready for this, Biff? Some people say I could have been
the next JT.” He winks, and I laugh.
“Show me what you’ve got then.”
In a flash we’re heading towards the dancefloor and I’m pulled into
Titch’s body. His front presses into my back and his hands land on my hips
as we move in time to the music.
Credit where credit’s due, he does have rhythm. I’m not sure it’s JT
level, but then I’ve never danced with him to have anything to compare this
to.
He leans into my ear, his breath tickling over my neck, but I don’t react
in the way I think he expects me to. There’s no shudder of excitement, no
rush of heat to any part of my body like I know would happen if someone
else were dancing with me right now. I expect him to say something to try
to pick me up, but what comes out of his mouth shocks the fuck out of me.
“Zach’s going out of his mind right now. Do you have any idea how
badly he wants you?”
I still at his words for a second before I remember I’m meant to be
dancing.
“I very much doubt that. He hates me.”
“That’s what he wants us all to think, and he might. But that doesn’t
remove the fact that he wants to fuck you into next week.” I suck in a
breath. “Oh, don’t act so surprised. The sexual tension between the two of
you is so thick the rest of us can practically see it.”
“It is not.” I try to argue, but the rumble of a laugh I feel behind me tells
me I’m failing miserably.
My body heats at Titch’s words, but when I glance toward the bar, I find
the real reason why I’m burning up. His eyes are focused on me. They’re
dark, his eyelids heavy while the muscle in his jaw ticks.
“So the question is… what are you going to do about it?”
 “I… I…” I stutter, the desire flowing through my blood as I fight to
drag my eyes from Zach, the alcohol in my veins making it really damn
hard to concentrate. “Nothing. He can fuck off.”
“Really?” A chuckle rumbles through Titch before his hands resting on
my hips tighten and I’m turned to face him.
“He’s my boss.”
“Riiight,” he says, a knowing smirk playing on his lips that I want to
slap off.
“And I hate him.”
He leans into my ear. To the people around us, Zach included, it
probably looks intimate and nothing like the reality of the situation. I realise
that all of this with Titch really has been a game. “Sometimes that makes
for the best sex.”
“Whatever you say.” I continue moving with him, but my enthusiasm is
waning. I might enjoy the little hate game I’ve got going on with Zach—it
certainly fulfils a need I’ve had since I was an invisible little kid—but I’ve
no intention of using Titch to get back at him. They’re friends, there’s no
way I’m getting in the middle of them, and the way Titch’s body is moving
against mine right now and the burning stare I can still feel is proof that I’m
doing just that.
“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”
I twist out of Titch’s arms and walk away. When I glance back over my
shoulder, he’s pulled another woman into his body, but the stool Zach was
sitting on is empty. My heart races at the thought that he’s found his own
woman to dance with and is about to put me through the same torture he
just had to endure if Titch is right. Of course Titch is right, a little voice
says as I follow the sign for the ladies. You already know there’s something
between you. This isn’t news.
The queue for the toilets is insane. I didn’t really need to go when I
excused myself in there, I just needed to get away, but by the time I get to
the front of the line, I’m glad I did.
I do what I need to do, wash my hands, top up my lipstick and run my
fingers through my hair, separating the curls that have twisted together.
With my head held high, I walk back out into the club. I intend on saying
goodbye to Titch and the others and getting the hell out of here before Zach
decides enough is enough and does something about his burning stare.
 Pulling open the door, I take two steps when a hand wraps around my
wrist and I’m harshly pulled back. I let out a squeal but not before his hand
covers my mouth—not that anyone would hear with the volume of the
music in here.
My heart’s in my throat as I’m pulled back into a dark doorway at the
back of the club. A shadow appears from behind me, but the second his
light hair catches my eye, I relax, although not that much. The man might
not be a stranger, but he’s still dragged me down here against my will.
“What do you want?” I snap, ready to push from the wall and storm
away from him.
“Are you doing it on purpose?” he asks. He stands right in front of me,
crowding me and blocking off the rest of the club so it almost feels private.
He lifts one arm so he’s resting it on the wall beside my head. His scent fills
my nose and damn if it doesn’t make my mouth water.
“Doing what? Enjoying a night out? Yeah, I guess that’s kind of
intentional.” I roll my eyes at his idiocy.
“Yeah, enjoying yourself. With him.”
“Oh, I see. You’re jealous that Titch got to dance with me while you
were forced to stay on the side-lines and watch. Well, I’m all yours now,
aren’t I? What are you going to do about it?”
He steps closer, the heat of his chest burning into mine, his usually light
blue eyes almost navy with desire. They bounce between mine before
dropping down to my lips. I desperately want to run my tongue along them,
but I refuse to show him that I’m affected by this. Instead, I bite down on
my cheek until a metallic taste fills my mouth.
“I don’t know,” he drawls. “So many options.”
His hand lifts. Taking a lock of my hair between his fingers, he tucks it
behind my ear. The second his skin brushes the shell of my ear, sparks shoot
around my body.
My heart pounds impossibly hard against my ribs as heat blooms
between my legs at his closeness.
His finger drops and skims down the smooth skin of my neck.
Goosebumps follow his trail and I shudder. His lips twitch, telling me that
he didn’t miss it.
I gasp when his finger hits the swell of my breasts and runs along the
hem of my vest.
 He leans in to whisper in my ear. “You’re everything I hate in a woman.
Everything I’ve tried to leave behind. Yet you’re here. Tempting me.
Driving me crazy.”
I swallow, shocked that he’s admitting this.
“I need you out of my system.”
He stops, his next words dying on his tongue as he continues to stare at
me. I should use his moment of silence to push him away and run, but I
don’t. I’m frozen to the spot, desperate to discover what he’s going to do
next.
He reaches out, his fingers popping the button at my waist open in a
flash.
“Oh god.” This is wrong. He’s my boss, a guy I can’t stand, my best
friend’s brother—although he’s not aware of that—and we’re in a very
public place right now. Yet, I still can’t find it in me to wrap my fingers
around his arm and stop him.
Flattening his hand, he pushes inside. He groans when he finds the lace
of my knickers, but he doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t stop until he’s parted
me and his fingers are gliding through my wetness.
“Fucking knew you wanted me, Tabby Cat. Now I’m going to ruin
you.”

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 9

Zach

I know I’ve made a mistake the second her desire coats my fingers. The
scent of her need fills my nose, and my mouth waters for more than
I’m able to take right here because I’d be kidding myself if I said I
didn’t want everything from her. I might hate her, but that doesn’t stop me
wanting to take. I want to see her writhing beneath me, calling out my name
as she understands the power I have over her. She might think she’s
something special with her designer clothes and posh girl demeanour, but
she’s nothing more than a plaything for me. And she’s about to discover the
real game here.
“Oh god,” she whimpers, and my cock swells beneath my trousers.
I drop my head to her neck and breathe her in, but I refuse to put my
lips on her. Instead I lick up the smooth skin, feeling her racing pulse.
I circle her clit once more before dropping my fingers lower and
dipping them just slightly inside her. Her muscles contract and try to suck
me in deeper to get what she needs, but she’s not the one in control right
now.
“Zach, please.” Fuck, if the sound of my name as a plea on her lips
doesn’t do something to me.
“You want more?”
“Yes,” she begs. “I need… need more.”
 I thrust higher into her heat, wishing like fuck that it was my cock, not
my fingers as she clamps down on me.
“Shatter, Tabby Cat. Fucking shatter for me.” Lifting my head from the
crook of her neck, I watch as pleasure hits her. Her eyes roll back and her
teeth sink into her bottom lip.
“Ohhhh,” she cries as she falls, her pussy clamping my fingers
impossibly tight.
The second she’s come down from her high, I rip my hand from her
trousers and take a step back. It’s not enough for anyone to see her, but it’s
enough that I’ve got no contact. She’s already too tempting as it is.
Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath. She drags her heavy,
lust-filled eyelids open and stares at me with glassy eyes. Her brows draw
together as she tries to figure out what the hell just happened. I wish I had a
fucking clue. All I know is that I couldn’t watch her dancing with Titch a
second longer without touching her myself. She’s mine. Mine to taunt, mine
to pleasure.
Unable to resist, I lift my hand and suck the two fingers that were just
deep inside her pussy into my mouth.
Her chin drops and her eyes darken further as she watches the
movement.
She’s so fucking sweet.
“What now?” she taunts, her eyes narrowing in contempt.
“Now nothing.”
Turning on my heels, I walk away from her. It’s the hardest thing I’ve
done in quite some fucking time. Every muscle in my body screams for me
to go and take what I need, but I refuse to show her that she holds that kind
of power. She doesn’t need to know how crazy one look at her dancing with
Titch made me.
I lose myself in the hundreds of people who are still filling this club
despite the fact it’s nearly dawn, and order myself another drink. I need the
taste of her off my tongue. It makes me want to do crazy shit like find her
and drag her back to my bed.
Deciding to leave, I slam my glass down on the bar and turn for the exit.
Sadly two others have a similar idea, because when I lift my eyes Titch and
Tabitha are before me.
Titch’s dark eyes are ablaze, telling me that he’s drunk off his arse,
while Tabitha refuses to look me in the eye, but I don’t miss the blush that’s
still colouring her cheeks and down her neck.
Good.
“We’re heading out.”
I nod, not trusting myself to say anything.
“See you tomorrow then?” Titch asks hesitantly. He knows exactly
what’s up—well, maybe not exactly, but we’ve been friends for long
enough for me to know when he’s trying to play me.
“Great. Can’t wait.” They both turn to leave and my mouth runs away
with me. “Titch?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck my staff.” He looks at Tabitha, who stands stock still beside
him, her spine ramrod straight as if she’s trying to appear unaffected by me.
Big fat fail on that, love.
Titch salutes me, a small smirk appearing on his smug as fuck face,
before placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her towards
the exit.
Deciding against following them out in case I’m wrong and he does
actually want her, or more likely she’s so fucking horny after our little
moment that she’s begging him to finish the job I started, I order another
drink and try to think about anything other than her pussy.
Tammi, the barmaid I’ve fucked on many occasions, walks over when I
gesture for her.
“The usual?” she asks.
“Make it a double.”
“That good a day?”
“Something like that,” I mumble. Not that she can hear me.
“Here you go.” She slides the glass over and then leans forward on the
bar, forcing her breasts together in a move that usually works wonders on
me. Tonight, not so much. “You needing a friend to end the night with?”
“Nah, not tonight. Just a few of these.” I lift my glass and down the
contents in one. One of her brows lifts. She doesn’t believe me and spends
the rest of time I’m at the bar trying to convince me that spending the night
with her will be exactly what I need. She might be right in that it’s pussy
I’m desperate for, but she’s very much mistaken if she thinks it’s hers I’m
craving right now.

By the time I leave the club, I can barely feel my legs. The cold hits me, but
with the alcohol flowing through my system I barely even shiver. The sun is
rising and London is beginning to wake up, making me glad I don’t have a
boring nine to five like everyone else.
That was what was expected of me. To join the family antique business
and continue the Abbot legacy. The problem with that is that from as early
as I can remember, I’ve felt like anything but a member of that family. Yes,
they’re my parents, they’ve brought me up and given me every opportunity,
but I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that I don’t belong. Harrison,
my brother, jokes about me being the milkman’s, and to be honest, I
wouldn’t be surprised to find out I was. I’m the opposite to the rest of my
family in every single way.
I come to a stop outside Rebel Ink with my keys in my hand. I look up
at my dark flat and let out a sigh. I could have gone home with Tabitha
tonight. I’d put money on it. With my fingers deep inside her I’m pretty
sure she’d have done anything I asked of her. I wonder how she’d take to
me turning up at her front door right now. Would she still be awake and
willing for a little more of what we started? Or—and the thought makes my
stomach turn over—did Titch not just walk her home? Is he there right now,
taking what should be mine?
I look over my shoulder in the direction I know she lives in. It’s not that
far from the studio, and it would only take me minutes to be at her building.
My cock swells at the thought and desire courses through me before it
quickly turns to anger.
I shouldn’t want her. She’s the epitome of everything I dislike about my
life. She’s the posh little girl, living the posh little life. Okay, so she’s
clearly trying to make a statement by working for me here, but I’m under no
illusion she’s here because she wants to be. She’s probably just trying to
prove a point to her stuck-up parents. She’s given me no sign that she even
likes tattoos. She’s just using me, and that makes me feel a hell of a lot
better about using her back. I’ll let her continue working, because despite
my first impressions she’s actually pretty damn good at her job, and
eventually I’ll get her in my bed, break her, and send her back to her
privileged little life. Then I’ll be able to continue with mine.

OceanofPDF.com
 10

Tabitha

T itch is the perfect gentleman. He ignores my obviously flushed state

when I reappear from my little rendezvous with Zach, and when he
suggests that he take me home, he does exactly that. He has an
Uber waiting out the front of the club and he opens the door so my drunk,
unsteady legs can climb in.
It’s the alcohol’s fault. If I weren’t so intoxicated I’d have been able to
tell Zach where to go the second he dragged me back into that little alcove.
That’s what I tell myself anyway. It’s easy to pretend that what happened
had nothing to do with the electricity I feel every time we’re close. It had
nothing to do with the sparks that shot around my body when he touched
me, or the one whiff of his scent that had my mouth watering and my core
heating faster than I could control.
“You okay from here, or would you like me to walk you right up?”
Titch says, helping me from the car.
I look up to the front door. “I’m fine. Thank you so much. Tonight
was… fun?” It’s not meant to come out like a question, and my face
scrunches in confusion when I realise it has.
“Tell me to shut up if you like but…” Titch hesitates, but after blowing
out a breath, he continues. I’m pretty confident I know what’s coming, but
I’m powerless to stop him, too intrigued to find out how he’s going to play
this. “Zach’s a really good guy. I know things are… weird between you, but
just give him time.”
“He’s an arsehole. Why would I want to do that?”
He studies my face for a second. “Firstly, because you’re good at your
job and I like having you about.” A smile curls at my lips at his honesty. “I
love the guys, but there’s something so awesome about having you there.
You bring a different dynamic to the place and don’t put up with our
bullshit.”
“And second?”
“He likes you.” I bark out a laugh. “He’s just—” He pauses, presumably
trying to decide how much to give away, but in the end he sticks to vague.
“He has no idea what he needs. Just give him time,” he repeats.
“Yeah, you said that already.”
“Well, that’s because it’s what you need to do. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Try to get some sleep.” Titch winks at me and takes a step back toward the
car.
“See you tomorrow.” Turning on my heel, I make my way to the front
door.
“Water and painkillers before sleep,” Titch calls. I laugh and wonder
just how good a job I’m doing right now to appear sober.
After kicking off my heels, I follow orders and go through to my
kitchen to down a pint of water. I pull my phone from my bag and look
down at the screen. Five thirty in the morning. It’s been a lot of years since
I was up this late. Or early. But that’s not the worst of it. I’ve got a missed
call from my mother from early yesterday evening.
Ignoring the voicemail, knowing that I’m most definitely too drunk to
hear whatever it is she’s got to say, I close everything down and go in
search of my bed. I don’t start work until two, so I should get a good few
hours in.
I strip out of my skinny jeans and vest. Leaving my underwear where it
is, I crawl between the sheets and I swear I’m out before my head even hits
the pillow.
An incessant ringing eventually drags me from my peaceful sleep. I don’t
need to open my eyes to know that one: I didn’t shut the curtains before I
passed out last night, and two: I drank way too much.
I lie still for a few moments, hoping that the loud shrill of my phone
will stop and I’ll be able to fall back to sleep. But no sooner has it stopped
than it starts again.
Groaning, I roll over and grab it.
‘Mum’ lights up my phone.
Brilliant.
Knowing she’s already tried to get a hold of me a handful of times, I
know I can’t ignore her. Swiping the screen, I move the phone towards my
ear and wince as I wait for her high-pitched voice.
“Darling, are you ignoring me?” she asks in the exact judgemental voice
I was expecting.
“No, Mum. I was sleeping.”
“It is ten o’clock in the morning, Tabitha. You should have been up
hours ago.”
“Well, I wasn’t. I went out last night and—”
“Typical. Just typical. You know full well that today is our big meal.
You should have been here thirty minutes ago and yet you’re still between
the sheets. You need to get yourself sorted, young lady. And if you turn up
here smelling of last night’s drink, so help me god.”
“Right,” I all but growl into the phone. How could I have possibly
forgotten such a fun event that I’m forced to attend in the hope that one of
dad’s ‘friends’ will be able to convince me to begin a respectable career
instead of fannying around with pointless hobbies, as my parents describe
my love of art.
“Get out of bed, put on a nice dress, and get your backside over here
pronto. We’ve got guests arriving and they’re expecting to see you.”
If I thought my head was spinning when I first woke up then it’s nothing
compared to right now. I’ve not had nearly enough sleep to deal with my
parents today, let alone a whole bunch of their friends.
Knowing there’s no way out of it if I want to keep this roof over my
head, I roll my arse out of bed and head for the bathroom.
It’s not until I’m standing with a towel wrapped around my body and a
brush in my hand that I remember my hair.
 Fuck. Mum’s going to lose her shit. My stomach twists with nerves but I
can’t help a smile playing on my lips at the thought of her face.
In an attempt to make her happy, I quickly dry and curl it with my
straighteners before pulling a dress and pair of shoes she’d approve of from
my wardrobe. It’s a simple floral summer dress that shows off a hint of
cleavage. The light chiffon fabric skims over my thighs and comes to a stop
at my knees. It’s not something I’d choose; it’s one of those dresses Mum
bought for me over the years specifically for her events.
A large sigh falls from my lips as I grab my bag and head out the door. I
don’t intend on spending too long at my parents’. I’ll show my face, eat a
little, assuming the hangover starts to wear off, and then I’ll make my
excuses so I can get back here and changed before work this afternoon.

“Tabitha, what on earth have you done to your hair?” Mum snaps the
second I walk into her kitchen. I might be late, but I’m still one of the first
here.
“I coloured it, Mum. Wanted something different.”
“Something different would have been walnut, or some copper hues.
That… That’s just… tasteless.” Her top lip curls up in disgust, and I
somehow manage to stop my eyes from rolling.
“Well, I like it. I was feeling a little wild and needed a change.”
“It looks ridiculous. None of Dad’s friends will even consider hiring
you looking like that.”
“I don’t want them to hire me, Mum. I don’t want to work for any of
them.”
“Tabitha, how many times do we need to go over this? You need a
respectable job, or you need a man who’s willing to keep you.”
A bitter laugh falls from my lips. “No, Mum. That’s what you think I
need. I, however, am perfectly happy with my life right now. I don’t need a
job just to impress you and Dad, and I most definitely do not want to be a
kept woman.”
She tuts but my dad joins us, thankfully cutting off any of her words.
“Tabi— whoa, what’s going on with your hair?”
“I dyed it pink. Jesus, it’s not like I became a crack whore or anything.”
 Mum gasps at my choice of words whereas Dad’s chin just drops in
horror.
“Well, I should hope not. Something like that would really tarnish the
Anderson name.”
Of course it would.
“Right, where do you need me? I’m not staying long.”
Mum flaps around with the tea towel in her hand, looking like she’s
about to cry. Fuck knows why, she’s not cooked a single dish in this
kitchen. Everything’s been delivered in perfect condition. “Just… just go
and be nice. And try to be respectable, despite the hair.”
“I’ll try.” I give them both the most insincere smile I can muster and
walk from the room to the sound of Mum complaining to Dad.
Dying my hair might be me pushing back against the life they’ve
dragged me into, but I know it’s barely the tip of the iceberg. What I really
need to do is tell them where to go and walk out, but there’s a part of me
that isn’t ready. Walking away from them means walking away from the
money and the flat. I might hate everything they stand for, and I know it
makes me a huge hypocrite, but I can’t help it. Going it alone is scary,
especially when I don’t have a proper job or any clue what I want to do. I
could do as they suggest and get myself a job with one of the people
spending the afternoon here, but it’ll keep me tied to them. I want my own
life, I just need to figure out what it looks like.
I end up sitting next to one of Dad’s ‘friends’ while my mother gives me
evils from across the table. Charles is one of Dad’s associates, although I’ve
not really got a clue what he does aside from drink too much and sleep with
younger women behind his wife’s back. She’s sitting beside him, utterly
clueless as he leers at me and spends more time looking at my cleavage
than he does my face.
Every time I feel his gaze on me, my skin prickles and my stomach
turns over.
“It’s been lovely chatting to you, Charles, but I really must go.”
“Oh, Tabitha. Stay a little longer.” He lifts his wine to his lips at the
same time he places his hand on my thigh. A little squeal of shock falls
from my lips and I stand, forcing my chair to clatter to the floor. My
mother’s eyes narrow in frustration, and my father also glances my way,
looking very unimpressed with my little outburst.
“I’m sorry. I have somewhere to be.”
 I march off before he has a chance to try to stop me again.
“Tabitha, what the hell was that?”
“He was trying to touch me up under the table.”
“Charles? Really? His wife was sitting right the other side of him.”
“Believe what you want. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t go. Your mother’s not even served dessert yet.”
“I’m not hungry, and I need to get to work.”
“To work? You didn’t tell us you’d got a job.” No, and there’s a very
good reason for that.
“I haven’t had a chance, but I’ve got to go or I’ll be late.”
“What sort of place has you starting work on a Sunday afternoon?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes it does. We need to know where our daughter is spending her
time.”
“I’m twenty-seven years old. Is that really necessary?”
“Yes,” they say in unison. Dropping my head back, I suck in a long
breath as I try to keep my calm. The last thing any of us needs is me acting
like a spoilt child.
“I’m working part time doing admin in a tattoo studio by me.”
Mum’s eyes go so wide I almost expect them to pop out and start rolling
around on the floor. Dad, on the other hand, just starts laughing. Frown
lines form between my brows as I try to figure out what’s funny.
“That’s a good one, Tabby. Next you’ll be telling us you’re a stripper.”
The frustration that’s been simmering just under the surface all day
begins to erupt. “I’m not joking, Dad. I’m really working at a studio, and
I’m actually really enjoying it.”
“But… but the men who go to those places are—”
“Are a hell of a lot more respectful than the one you sat me beside this
afternoon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m already late.”
I pull the front door open and march down my parents’ driveway
towards the Uber that’s waiting for me.
“Change of plan,” I tell him once I’ve climbed in, and I rattle off the
studio address. I’m late, and I really don’t have time to change. Zach can
screw it if he doesn’t like it.
The neon sign has been turned to open and is shining bright. There are a
couple of clients already sitting in the waiting room when I push the door
open and step inside. Every single set of eyes turns to me and runs down
my body. I get it, the floral dress really doesn’t fit. My skin prickles with
awareness, but it’s not from their scrutiny. He’s here somewhere. He’s
looking right at me.
I quickly glance around the room, but finding no one, I take a step
towards my desk and drop my bag.
It’s then that he makes himself known. He appears in the doorway to the
kitchen. His eyes are narrowed, but not enough to miss the storm brewing
beneath. His face is set and his jaw is ticking with frustration. His arms are
crossed over his chest, the muscles in them bulging and straining against the
dark fabric of his t-shirt.
“You’re late,” he snarls. His eyes drop from mine in favour of my body
and his eyes widen before an evil, humourless laugh falls from his lips.
Stepping towards me, his fingers wrap around my wrist, his touch
burning all the way to my core as he drags me towards his room and away
from prying eyes.
“What the hell are you playing at?” he demands the second he slams the
door shut behind me. He doesn’t move, leaving me the choice of pressing
my back against the cold door or my front to his warm chest. I decide that
staying as far away from him as possible is the right thing to do.
“I’m sorry, I got stuck at this thing.”
“What? The Queen’s fucking tea party?”
“Well, no. It was just a meal at my parents’ but—”
“But nothing, you look… you look… fuck.” His hands find his hair and
he pulls it painfully hard as he takes a huge step back from me and turns
around, cutting himself off from me.
“I’ve got clothes under my desk from yesterday. I’ll quickly change and
we’re all good.”
I push from the door and turn to reach for the handle, only when I wrap
my hand around it I don’t find cool metal but a hot hand instead.
“Stay here,” he barks before pushing past me and storming back
towards reception.
“O… okay,” I mutter to myself as my heart thunders so hard in my chest
I can feel it in my ears.
It’s only seconds before the sound of his pounding feet heads back this
way. I move away from the door, afraid he’ll push it open so hard that it’ll
knock me off my feet and take a seat on the edge of his chair.
 Anticipation fills me, making my hands tremble for what kind of Zach
I’m going to find when he comes back.
The door shuts, but I refuse to look over. This arrogant arsehole isn’t
going to have me at his beck and call.
“Change,” he demands, throwing the bags onto my lap.
“Only because you asked so nicely,” I seethe, taking the bags in my
hand and standing.
He turns, his eyes find mine, and my breath catches. They’re so dark,
but right now I’ve no idea if it’s with anger or desire, and that thought has
my thighs clenching with need. I might have been drunk last night, but that
doesn’t mean I don’t remember exactly how it felt to have his hands on me.
And although I know it was a mistake of epic proportions to allow it to
happen, it doesn’t mean I’m not standing here craving a repeat.
“Don’t,” he warns, his thumb and finger gripping my chin, ensuring our
connection holds.
“You’re going to need to let go if you want me out of this dress.” His
eyes flash with heat. “Is that what this is all about? You don’t really care
about the dress, you just want me to strip out of it.”
“Trust me, Tabby Cat. If I wanted you naked, I could think of easier
ways than this.”
My chest heaves as he continues to stare into my eyes. My breaths fan
across his face where he’s so close. His jaw clicks, but other than that he
gives nothing away, whereas I feel like I’m about to melt into a puddle.
“Get moving, Kitten. You’ve got a fucking job to do.”
“Well, if you’d let go I might have a chance.”
His eyes drop to my lips when I bite down and wait. His fingers grip
that little bit harder and I half expect him to give in and lean towards me,
but when he does release me, he does the opposite. He lets go and pushes
me enough that I fall back onto the chair.
I watch as he moves to the other side of the room. His shoulders are
pulled tight with tension, the muscles in his back rippling as he lifts his
hands to his hair once again.
“Get a move on, you’ve already wasted enough of my time.”
Scrambling to my feet, I pull clothes from the bag that I purchased
yesterday and left under the desk when we went out. Thankfully there’s
enough to make a full outfit, albeit a small one.
OceanofPDF.com
 11

Zach

W hy I didn’t walk out the door and leave her to it fuck only
knows. I’m now standing staring at the collage of tattoo
images I’ve done that are pinned to my wall as the sound of
her rustling through her bags behind me fills my ears.
I was pissed off when I fell into my bed last night wondering if she’d
fallen straight into hers with Titch, I really didn’t need her to be late and
then to turn up like she’d just had afternoon tea with fucking royalty. The
dress is hot, don’t get me wrong. It’s the perfect tease with its slightly too
low neckline revealing the swell of her tits, and the way it skims across her
arse. I bite down on the inside of my cheek in an attempt to stop me turning
around to find out just how sweet that arse really is.
I only last a few seconds. Resting my palms on the counter in front of
me, my need to watch her becomes unbearable and I turn my head so I can
see over my shoulder. She’s too focused on what she’s doing—pulling
something on under her dress—for her to notice my attention, so I make the
most of it.
She drops the fabric back down, covering whatever it was she put on
before, blowing out a breath and reaching for the zip at the back of her
dress.
 She pulls it down painfully slowly. If she knew I was watching, I’d say
she was doing it on purpose, but she’s yet to look up at me.
The thin straps slip from her shoulders before the fabric pools at the
floor around her feet. The sight of her standing in just a white lace bra has
my breath catching and my cock even harder than before. My fingers curl
into the wood beneath them as I fight to stay where I am and not go over
and put my hands on her where they belong.
My teeth grind as I remember just how her curves felt last night beneath
my hands. How her body moved with my every touch, begging for more.
A growl climbs up my throat, but I manage to catch it before it erupts.
Tabitha pulls a shirt from her bag and lifts her arms to pull it over her
head.
“Wait,” I say, turning, my long legs eating up the space between us as I
move towards her.
She quickly tugs the fabric down her body, but it’s too late. I’ve already
seen it.
Sucking in a breath when I’m in touching distance, she drags her bottom
lip into her mouth and waits.
My eyes search hers, expecting her to say something, but instead she
holds mine, her head tilted a little to the side in defiance.
Reaching out, I tuck my finger under the hem of her shirt and lift. My
fingertip grazes the soft skin of her belly as I do so, eliciting a gasp from
her.
I keep my eyes on hers, waiting for her to back away, to tell me to stop,
but she doesn’t.
Once I know the fabric is high enough, I lower my gaze to the ink that
covers her right rib.
“Well, well, well… The princess has been marked.” I run my finger
over the delicate feather, delighting in the feeling of her body trembling
under my touch. I’m halfway along before I pay enough attention for it to
become recognisable. Hardly anyone else would notice, I’m sure. But I
know my artists, and I sure as shit know my best friend.
“Motherfucker.”
Standing to full height, I push past her and rip the door open.
Titch’s door slams back against the wall, causing both him and his client
to look up, their eyes wide in shock and their mouths hanging agape. I use
their surprise to my advantage. Marching over, I take his still buzzing gun
from his hand and pull him from his stool. His back slams against the wall
with a thud and I pin him in place with his shirt. The fury raging through
me is the one thing I can focus on, the image in my mind of his hands on
what’s mine too much to bare.
“Zach, what the fuck?”
“You put your motherfucking hands on her?”
“On… who?” He glances over my shoulder, his brows drawing together
in confusion as, I assume, he stares at Tabitha. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Zach, leave it.” Her soft voice just about manages to filter through my
haze seconds before her warm hand lands on my forearm. The shock of her
touch is enough to have me backing away from Titch.
“Fuck,” I bark, risking a glance up at her. What the fuck did I just do?
“Talk. Now,” Titch demands while I stand there with my chest heaving
and my fingers curled into tight fists. He might be my best friend, but that
doesn’t mean I won’t hit him.
“Ugh, he’s freaking out because you did this.” Tabitha lifts her shirt,
revealing Titch’s handiwork.
“Huh,” he says, leaning closer and squinting slightly. “Sure looks like
mine.”
“That’s because it is, arsehole.”
“I do a lot of tats. See a lot of people. I don’t remember everyone,” he
says, his arms flailing from his sides. “I don’t need to tell you all this, Zach.
Now, if I may…” He gestures to the woman who’s still laid on her front on
his bed, patiently waiting for him to return.
Anger swirls within me as I stare him dead in the eyes, but I can’t deny
that he’s right. I don’t remember even half of whom the skin I’ve inked
belongs to. Just because Tabitha is one of us now, it doesn’t mean he should
have recognised her from that small tattoo.
“Fuck this.” Turning, I storm from his room and out through the kitchen
so I can have a few moments to breathe.

I pace back and forth in my living room for a while, waiting for my heart to
stop racing. What the fuck was that? I never lose my head over a woman.
So what if Titch has inked her? It doesn’t mean anything. He’s a
professional, it’s unlikely he’ll have offered any extra services, plus if he
had I’m sure she’d have had something to say about it. She’s not exactly
backwards in coming forwards.
I desperately want to reach for my liquor cupboard, but with an evening
full of clients, I can’t very well do that.
I’m staring at the clock, knowing that I need to head back down before I
piss my clients off, when a knock sounds out from the front door.
“Yeah,” I bark. My heart’s in my throat as I wait to see if it’s Tabitha’s
head that’s going to pop around the dark wood to rip me a new one.
I’m relieved when the first thing I see is the shaggy dark hair of my best
friend. Although, one look at his pissed-off eyes and I soon realise he might
not go easy on me, either.
“Here, I sent Biff for decent coffee. Thought you might need it.”
“Need fucking more than this,” I mutter, but I accept his offer.
“It’s got a double shot.”
I sip at the coffee and regret it the second the liquid burns the top layer
off my tongue.
“Karma’s a bitch, huh?” Titch asks as he watches me.
“Do we have to?”
“I really fucking think we need to, motherfucker.” He drops down onto
the other end of the sofa, wisely putting his coffee on the table to allow it to
cool. “Start talking.”
“Got nothing to say.” I shrug, but I know he’s not going to allow me to
get away with that.
“Okay, let’s try this a different way. You fucked her yet?”
I blanch at his blunt question, but it soon pisses me off because I
wouldn’t bat an eyelid if he were to ask me this about any other woman.
“No,” I mutter, looking to the window to stop him reading whatever might
be in my eyes. He’s a perceptive motherfucker, and I don’t need him seeing
more than I’m ready to admit to myself.
“So how’d you see the tat?”
“She was changing in my room. I wasn’t a gentleman.”
“No surprise there.”
“Says Mother fucking Teresa.”
“Hey, I’m not saying I’d act any differently. So… what’s next?”
“Next, I’ve got a night full of clients. One of which is probably already
downstairs waiting for me.” He nods, proving that that is the case.
 “And what about Biff.”
“What about her?”
He sighs. “Zach, man. You need to start being honest with yourself,
even if you can’t be with me.”
“I’m not—”
“You want her. We can all see it, and none of us can blame you. She’s
hot.” My temperature begins to boil at his observation alone, telling me that
I’ve got a serious issue here. “She also doesn’t put up with your shit and
gives as good as she gets. At first I thought it was going to be the fun of the
chase, of winning, of proving you can have her no matter what, but now, the
last few days, I see it’s more than that. You want her, and not just because
you can’t have her.”
By the time he’s finished his little speech, I’m on my feet and ready to
run away from having to deal with it.
I swipe my coffee up and march towards the door. “I don’t want her.
She’s everything I don’t want. I just want to play with her a bit, prove that
women like her don’t belong in this world.”
He’s laughing as I pull the door open and step out into the enclosed
hallway.
My lips twist in frustration while every part of my body screams that
every word I just said is bullshit. That may well be the case, but like fuck
am I going to accept it.
This is a game. A game I’m in charge of and one that I’m going to win.
I’ll get her on her knees, I’ll take what I want, and then I’ll throw her back
into the stuck-up, pretentious world she fell from. Her parents probably
already have someone in their sights to marry their beloved daughter, and I
can fucking guarantee that he doesn’t have any tattoos.
Leaving Titch behind in my flat, I make my way back down to the
studio. I have every intention of walking through reception and to my room
without so much as looking her way, but the second I step foot into the
waiting room my eyes seem to have a mind of their own.
I glance over our clients, nodding at the one who’s patiently waiting for
me before risking a look at her. The second my eyes land on her, my body
freezes. She’s sitting behind the desk, one hand on the mouse, but instead of
looking at the computer she’s staring right at me. Confusion and intrigue fill
her eyes while she chews on her bottom lip.
 Something sizzles between us before I drag my barriers back up and
turn towards my next client. “You ready?”
“Sure am.”
Without a word to Tabitha, I walk towards my room to get on with my
job.
It’s not until the door’s shut and Isaac is on the bed ready that he speaks.
“You’re sure to get a few more clients through the door now you’ve got that
hot bit of arse on the desk.”
My fingers tighten around the gun in my hand that’s about to make
contact with the back of his thigh, and my teeth grind.
I suck in a few deep breaths. I can’t afford for that bitch to ruin my
reputation.
“She sure helps to keep our waiting clients distracted.”
“She sure as shit does that, mate. Especially in that little skirt she’s
wearing. Damn, when she bent over I almost got a shot at the—ow.”
I make a start without warning, pressing a little harder than necessary in
an attempt to cut off his words. I don’t need to hear that she’s out there
showing off anything. Especially not when I’m yet to see much beyond a tat
on her ribs.
Trying to put her to the back of my mind, I focus on the task in hand
and the amount of ink I need to lay down before I get to lock myself
upstairs with just the image of his handiwork on her skin.
Motherfucker.

OceanofPDF.com
 12

Tabitha

A ny bit of noise, any footsteps or closing of a door, has me looking

up, nerves erupting in my stomach, just waiting for his eyes to
land on mine once again.
Why I trusted him not to look earlier, I’ve no fucking clue. I should
have demanded he left the room, but his close proximity does something to
my brain, hence why I ended up with his hand in my knickers last night. My
cheeks burn and my core clenches at the memory.
Looking back to the guys’ waiting clients, I expect to find them staring
at me, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, but they’re all distracted
with their phones or the magazines on the coffee table in the centre of the
sofas.
Unable to concentrate on what I should be doing, I pull a piece of paper
from the printer and start doodling. I draw the same thing I always do. It
relaxes me and helps me to block out the rest of the world as I focus on the
ink marking the page. I’m transported back to a time when things were a
little easier, lighter, even though seeing her words staring back at me still
fill me with an all-consuming grief. I wonder if that will ever fade. If I’ll
ever be able to think about my gran without the pain of losing her filling
every inch of my body.
 Clients come and go, the guys—minus Zach—come out to get their next
ones, to grab a drink and to check up on me I’m sure, especially Titch who
looks at me with concerned eyes every time he appears. I smile at him and
shake my head. I’m fine. What happened earlier was just a moment of
madness on Zach’s part. I’m not going to dwell on it and think it means
anything other than the threats he’s given me about wanting to break me,
whatever that means. I roll my eyes at myself. I’m not sure what Zach’s real
intentions are, but I know for a fact that I’ll never give him the power to
ruin me like he says he wants to.
As the last hour of the night rolls around, I head out to the kitchen to
make coffees for the guys. I deliver them to Titch, Spike and D, who are all
grateful but barely drag their heads up from the bit of skin they’re working
on. Something in my chest aches when I pass Zach’s door. The buzz from
his gun sounds out loud and clear. He probably needs a final drink as much
as the others to get him through the night, but nothing could get me to cross
the threshold into his room right now. All I can hope is that I can escape
soon after the clients leave and he’ll stay in hiding. I’m not due back here
until Thursday night—hopefully it’ll be enough time for him to sort his
head out.
You could leave, a little voice says in my head as I drop down onto my
chair with a sigh. I could, yeah. But that’s not what I’m going to do. I’m
better, stronger, than the arsehole down the hall. I bent over backwards for
him and his pathetic group of friends at school. I refuse to be that girl again.
Tabitha the teenager was weak. She didn’t know her place or her worth.
Tabitha the woman is a very different creature and has learnt that to get
what she wants, the life she craves, then she needs to take what she
deserves and not let others walk all over her… parents aside, of course.
That’s still something she needs to deal with.
Pulling my coffee into my hands, I allow the warmth to seep into my
palms. It’s the first time tonight I’ve been alone and the silence is
unnerving. I fidget my toes in my boots, needing to move, but nothing short
of getting out of here is going to work. Less than an hour then I can be at
home. I can lock myself in my studio and paint until sunrise if need be.
I look down at the wooden desk for the sketch I was working on earlier,
but I don’t find it. Rolling the chair back, I glance around the floor, thinking
it’s blown off somewhere, but again I come up empty.
 The phone ringing distracts me from my search, and after booking in
some sessions for a client, I forget all about it.

I can’t contain my yawn as the last client walks out and I get up to turn the
sign on the door to closed.
“We boring you, Biff?” Titch asks with a laugh as he walks through
with a handful of dirty mugs.
“No, just a late night and a too early morning.”
“Why don’t you get going? We can all finish up.”
“I’ve just got a few things to complete and then I’m heading home.” He
turns toward the kitchen, but I quickly call him back. “Titch?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry about… about earlier. I should have mentioned that you…” I
hesitate but point to my ribs.
“Girl, you’ve got nothing to apologise for. I’m just sorry I don’t
remember doing it.” A little colour hits his cheeks. “All that was on Zach.
Can I…” He trails off before taking another step.
“Can you what?” I ask, not liking the hesitation in his tone.
“Um…” He looks away from me. “Can I see it? I want to remember
what I did.” His voice is softer than usual, allowing me to see a different
side to the brooding bad boy.
“Of course.” Walking over, I lift my top enough to expose my ribs.
He drops down a little so he can see, his finger coming out to run over
it, although he never makes contact.
“Huh… That’s pretty good.”
“I have good taste, you know. I didn’t come here on the off chance, I’d
heard about your reputation.”
“It could be better,” a deep, rumbling voice says. The atmosphere
changes and becomes almost suffocating as his burning stare heats my
body.
Titch stands, his eyes rolling in frustration that he’s poked the bear
again.
“I’m out. I’ll see you in a couple of days, yeah?”
 I nod, unable to speak as he places the mugs into the kitchen and makes
his escape out of the front door. No other words are spoken, but the sound
of Zach’s heaving breaths are loud around me.
I suck in one calming breath after another in the hope that I’ll be able to
look at him and appear unaffected, like last night and this afternoon never
happened.
Turning, I keep my eyes on the floor. “What do you want, Zach?”
He doesn’t respond, but knowing I’m still the focus on his attention, I
find myself lifting my eyes to him. He’s wearing a slim pair of black jeans
with rips in the knees and a plain white t-shirt. How he’s standing with his
fingers gripped onto the doorframe above his head, it makes his shirt rise,
giving me an inch of his sculpted waist. My mouth waters and my fingers
tighten on my hips with my need to go over and lift it a little more. Abs are
my weakness, and I’m pretty confident there’s a seriously impressive set
hiding under that fabric.
I take my time making my way up, but when I find his blue eyes my
breath catches in my throat.
“See something you like?” His head tilts to the side, a knowing smirk
appearing on his full lips that I want to slap off.
“Can’t say I do.”
A laugh falls from his lips, but there’s no amusement in it.
He takes a step towards me and I take one back, feeling like I’m about
to be this lion’s prey.
“Zach,” I breathe. I was going for exasperated, but as he steps closer
and his scent filters into my senses it sounds anything but. My cheeks flush,
knowing he heard it exactly as I didn’t intend for it to sound.
“Funny that, because last night you seemed like you very much liked
what I had to offer.” His eyes bounced between mine before dropping to my
lips.
“Moment of madness fuelled by alcohol.”
“Right.” A lopsided smile appears on his lips, and a bloody dimple pops
up that I’ve not seen before. I want to lean forward and lick it, and the
thought irritates the hell out of me.
“Fuelled by lust, you mean.”
“Hate.”
“Even better.”
 When he takes another step, my retreat attempts are ruined by my arse
bumping up against my desk. My fingers drop to wrap around the edge of
the wood. I expect him to close the space between us but he stops a little
short and drops his eyes to my body as if he’s not seen what I pulled on
earlier in favour of the summer dress he took offence to.
My red leather skirt is short—too short without thick black tights under
it. It exposes way more thigh than I’d usually deem appropriate. My black t-
shirt is plain and simple, and the biker boots on my feet give the whole
outfit an edge that I must admit that I’m loving. I’m not the only one, if
Zach’s perusal is anything to go by. I can’t see his eyes, but the muscle in
his neck pulses and his jaw ticks as he grinds his teeth.
He steps forward, the heat of his body burning into mine. His rough
cheek brushes against mine as his hot breath tickles the shell of my ear.
Goosebumps break out across my skin, and I fight to drag in the air I need
with him so close. My nails dig into the underside of the desk in my attempt
to keep them there and not reach out to find just how toned his torso really
is. It would be so easy to lift my hands and slip them under the loose fabric
of his t-shirt right now to explore in the way I’ve imagined.
“Get in my room,” he breathes, his demand making my skin prickle, but
I’m afraid to admit that it’s not with irritation but desire.
“Za—”
“Don’t argue.” With that he steps away, turns his back on me and
marches towards his room. “I don’t have all night,” he adds just before he
disappears from my sight. I’m too distracted watching the muscles in his
back pull and flex as he walks to pay much attention.
I should grab my bag and walk straight out the front door without so
much as a glance back in his direction.
It’s what I should do.
But in seconds I’m standing in the doorway of his room, my heart in my
throat as I wait to find out what he wants from me.
He’s sitting on the little wheelie stool he uses to work on with his back
turned to me as he stares down at his desk.
“Shut the door.”
“I think it’s safer if I leave it open.”
“Fine. Your call.”
Taking a step inside, I glance over his shoulder and find something very
familiar.
 “My drawing. You stole it.”
“I prefer to say borrowed. I have every intention of giving it back.”
“What the fuck?” I mutter, more to myself than him. He stills and then
spins, bringing my drawing with him.
“You can draw,” he states, his eyes narrowed, assessing me as if I’m
suddenly someone else.
“Yeah, and?”
“What else can you do?”
“Plenty.”
“You got any more tattoo designs?”
“Aside from the one on my body, no.”
“Hmmm…” he mumbles, deep in thought.
“What?” I bark, getting fed up with his randomness and lack of
explanation.
“Where do you want it?”
“What?” I feel like a fucking parrot.
“This.” He holds up my sketch and glances down at my body. “Where.
Do. You. Want. It?”
“Back on my desk where you found it.”
“Don’t try to be clever. I told you everyone here has to have my ink on
them.”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “I’m leaving.” I turn back to the door but
pause when he speaks again.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t draw this for any other reason.”
“The reason I drew this is none of your business,” I snap.
He steps up behind me. His fingers wrap around my wrist and keep me
in place.
“Maybe not, but we both know you’re lying. Where do you want it?” he
repeats, his breath in my ear sending sparks shooting around my body. He
releases me and his fingertips trail up my exposed arm and across my
shoulder. He continues down the ridges of my spine as heat blooms in my
core and my stomach clenches with desire. “I think around here.” He runs
his fingers around my waist, the opposite side to my feather.
“I… uh…”
“The biggest butterfly here.” He presses his finger into my skin and then
continues to point out where the others could wrap around to my back and
slightly up my spine. I can’t deny that his vision doesn’t sound perfect. “It
would look incredible. Don’t you think?”
My response is nothing more than a moan.
“So do you want my hands on you, Tabby Cat? Do you want to feel the
vibrations of my gun against your skin, knowing that a part of me will live
with you for the rest of your life?”
My clit aches as he continues talking, my skin getting clammy with my
soaring temperature.
He spins me and pulls me into him. My breasts brush against his chest
and I gasp at the sensation to my already peaked nipples.
The reason for our closeness soon becomes apparent when the door
slams shut behind me. “You might be okay with everyone watching, but I’m
fucking not. You’re mine, Tabby Cat.”
“I’m… I’m not…” He takes a step back and runs his eyes over me once
again. The heat in them steals my words.
“Top off, Kitten, and hop up on the bed.”
This is a really bad idea. A really fucking bad idea. So why is it I find
myself gripping on to the hem of my t-shirt and doing exactly as he says.
His focus locks on my lace-covered breasts. Thankfully, the bra I chose
this morning is padded enough to successfully hide just how hard my
nipples are beneath.
“This is going to be so much fun.”
“If you say so.”
He bites down on his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving my body. “This
is your one and only chance to change your mind. Once you’re on that bed,
you’re mine.”
Excitement and lust hit me so hard I almost stumble back. Am I okay
with willingly handing myself over to him? One-hundred per cent not. But
am I about to get dressed and walk out? No fucking chance.
I take a small step to my left and hop up onto the soft leather of Zach’s
tattoo bed.
“You did this in black pen. That how you want it? Or were you thinking
something a little more elaborate?”
“What do you think?”
“It’s not my body.”
“You’re the expert,” I throw back.
“You giving me permission to do my worst?”
 “Don’t make me regret it.”
“When it comes to me, Tabby Cat, I’m sure you’re going to have plenty
of regrets. And they’ll start from the moment you walked in here looking
for a job.”

OceanofPDF.com
 13

Zach

T he sound of her heavy breathing as she lies waiting for me is the

only thing I can think about. Much like the second I saw her
drawing sitting on her desk, inking it onto her was the only thing I
could imagine the second I picked it up. The artwork is stunning, there’s no
denying that. The detail she’s put into her small butterflies is incredible and
only goes to prove that I don’t really know the woman I live to torment
right now.
I debate with myself how I want to do this. I could do it black. It would
still look incredible, and I’m sure she’d be more than happy with it. Or I
could be a little more creative.
Making a decision, I get everything I need before turning around to face
her.
Every muscle in my body locks tight as I take her in. Her white lace bra
makes her look like the innocent woman she’s trying so hard to hide with
the black clothes and biker boots so she fits in. I run my eyes over the curve
of her cleavage, my fingers wrapping around the kit in my hands with my
need to reach out and run my fingers over her. I already know her skin is
like silk to touch; I can only imagine how incredible they’d feel.
My cock swells, desire sitting heavy in my stomach as I take in her slim
waist, leather-clad hips and long, slender legs. The mix of princess meets
badass is a combination I’m finding harder and harder to resist.
Dragging my eyes from her, I place everything I need on my table and
wheel myself closer to her.
Clearing my throat, I prepare to reach out and touch her, hesitant as to
what’s going to happen when we connect.
“So first one here, and then trailing around,” I nudge her so she turns
onto her side slightly. “Then come to a stop about here?”
Her breathing gets more laboured with my touch, if that’s even possible,
and her skin breaks out in goosebumps.
“Y-yeah, that sounds great. How… um… how long do you think it’ll—”
“Two hours ish. That okay, or did you have plans?” I’ve no idea why
I’m asking, I have no intention of allowing her out of this room to spend
time with anyone else.
“Oh um… sure. I was only going home to—” she gasps as I move her
into position and prepare to start. “Bed.” She blows out a long, slow breath
when I turn my gun on and her eyes flutter closed.
“Scared?”
“Of you? Yeah.”
A smile curls my lips that she’s willing to admit that. She scares the shit
out of me too, but there’s no fucking way those words are falling from my
lips.
“I’ll try not to hurt you… too much.”
“Those words fill me with very little confidence.”
I laugh, I can’t help it. I move the towards her skin. She flinches with
the first scratch, but she soon relaxes. Shame I can’t say the same thing
about myself, because I’m like a coiled fucking spring, and it only gets
worse the longer I sit here with her so temptingly close.
Eventually, I get so lost in what I’m doing that I almost manage to
forget whose body is laid out before me. Almost.
When I sit back and take in my masterpiece with a slight smile playing
on my lips, it feels like no time has passed at all despite the crick in my
neck and the beginnings of cramp in my hand after a whole day at it.
“Are you finished?” Her voice is soft, almost dream like, but I’m fully
aware that this is real life. I really did just ink her design on her smooth,
flawless skin. I’m also sitting here sporting the evidence of having my
hands on her body for the past couple of hours.
 I shift on the stool to try to loosen the fabric around my solid length.
She looks over at just the wrong time and witnesses me doing it.
“You… uh… want to see?” Her eyebrows rise, but she doesn’t respond
to my dumb arse question. Of course she wants to fucking see what I’ve
done to her.
Wheeling over to the side, I grab a handheld mirror and hold it up so
she can look at the reflection over her shoulder.
“Oh my god, Zach. That’s… that’s unbelievable.” She stares at my
artwork, disbelief written all over her face.
“I thought those butterflies deserved some colour.”
“I never could have imagined…” she trails off as she continues to stare.
My chest swells with pride that she likes it. Going for a watercolour effect
was a risk, but I knew it would be incredible. “I can’t believe you just did
that, from my sketch. You might be a wanker, Zach, but you’re a bloody
talented one.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Take it however you like. We done here?”
“Yeah. Just let me wrap it, hang on.” I’m forced to get up to collect
everything I need.
I make quick work of covering her new ink, but I can’t help but let my
fingers trail over her skin a little more than necessary. Her little gasps of
surprise along with the shudder that runs through her convinces me to
continue.
Once I’m happy it’s all covered, I place my palm on her waist and turn
her onto her back. Her eyes are tightly closed, but her pink lips are parted to
allow her increased breaths to pass. Her chest heaves, her breasts swollen
behind the fabric, only more evidence of how she’s feeling right now.
My fingers grip her waist tighter, and it’s the reminder she needs that
I’m still here because her eyes fly open. Her usually grey eyes are dark, her
pupils dilated with lust, and she sinks her teeth into her full bottom lip and
sucks it into her mouth. My cock aches to feel just how hot that might be.
“Zach?” Her voice is no more than a breathy whisper that drags my eyes
back to hers.
“Fuck,” I grunt, my need for this woman all-consuming. She’s the only
thing I can focus on. How soft her body is under my hands, how sweet she
might taste against my tongue.
 Without giving myself enough time to be able to talk myself out of it, I
lean over her. My hand skims her cheek and comes to rest across her jaw
with my fingers threaded in her hair.
Her eyes bounce between mine, but at no point does she do anything to
stop me.
“Zach?” My name is a plea on her lips, and it’s my undoing.
Closing the space between us, I slam my mouth to hers. She hesitates
for a second before her lips part when I run my tongue along the bottom one
and allow it to pass. Hers sneaks out to join in. Her taste explodes on my
tongue, turning the fire already raging inside me up a notch.
The kiss isn’t my finest. Instead it’s hot and dirty. It’s teeth clashing,
tongues duelling as we try to devour each other, putting everything we hate
about each other into it.
She pulls my tongue into her mouth and sucks. I damn near lose my
mind and come in my pants like a teenager. Needing more, I skim my hand
up the smooth skin of her stomach and take her breast in my hand. I
squeeze and she arches off the bed with her need for more.
With one goal in mind, I pull back from her lips, but only as far as her
jaw.
“Zach, fuck,” she moans, the vibration of her voice tingling against my
lips as I kiss down her neck.
I graze my teeth over her collarbone, dropping kisses around the swell
of her breasts before I’m met with the fabric of her bra.
I continue my descent, over her ribs and down to her bellybutton. I dip
my tongue inside, her hands fisting in my hair, pushing me lower to my
final prize.
“Oh god, oh god,” she chants above. I know she’s watching my journey,
I can feel her stare burning into me. It’s not until I hit the waistband of her
skirt that I look up.
Her eyes are dark and pleading with me to continue, and her cheeks are
flushed.
“I shouldn’t want to taste you so badly,” I admit, my hands running up
her thighs and pushing the leather up around her waist, revealing a tiny
white pair of knickers that are so sheer they may as well not be there. My
gaze drops to her breasts, wishing the fabric there was just as see-through.
“The feeling’s mutual. I shouldn’t want you to this badly either,” she
whispers, dragging my attention back up to her. Her eyes widen in shock as
if she didn’t mean to say those words out loud.
Running my finger down her centre, I growl like a wild fucking beast
when I find the fabric dripping wet. Every muscle in my body aches with
my need to sink inside of her, but I fear that if I allow that to happen then
I’m only going to crave a repeat. There’s something different about this
woman to all those who have gone before, and I’m afraid it’s not a good
thing.
Unable to wait any longer, I hook my fingers through the fabric at her
waist and pull her underwear down her thighs. I untangle them from her
boots until they drop to the floor.
Taking each of her ankles in my hands, I place her feet on the bed as
wide as possible and stare down at her bare pussy.
“Fuck, Pussy Cat.” I repeat my earlier action, but this time there’s no
lace barrier between us. Her heat damn near burns my finger as I dip it
between her folds, finding her clit and circling it exactly as she liked last
night.
She purrs above me, her back arching with pleasure, begging for more.
I drop my finger lower, dipping it inside her just slightly.
“Zach. Come on. Not fair.”
“Everything’s fair in love and war, Kitten.” Pressing my palms against
the inside of her thighs, I spread her as wide as she’ll allow, drop to my
knees and press my tongue to her clit. Her taste explodes on my tongue and
I immediately know that I’ve just made a massive mistake.
Her moans of pleasure fill the room as her fingers tighten to an almost
painful grip on my hair, but at no point do I let up. I’m fucking addicted,
and I’m not stopping until I feel her coming against my mouth.
With my tongue teasing her clit, I push two fingers deep inside her. I
hope to fuck that Spike and D have already left, because there’s no doubt
they’d be hearing what’s going on inside this room. This prim and proper
princess is able to let go it seems, and I can’t deny that hearing her chant
my name as she nears release isn’t a huge fucking turn on.
I bend my fingers, finding that perfect spot inside her. Her hips leave the
bed, but I pin her down with my arm over her stomach. My fingers thrust
fast as my tongue picks up speed, my need to feel her, to taste her as she
comes getting too much to bear. My cock weeps to be released and to bury
itself inside her tight, velvety core, but first things first: I need her
screaming.
 “Come for me, Kitten,” I growl against her, and the extra vibrations
must be what she needs because her muscles lock for a beat before she cries
out my name and her body convulses beneath me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she chants as she rides out her orgasm. I don’t pull
back until I’m confident she’s finished, and when I do, I can’t help the wide
smile that spreads across my lips. I can’t imagine any guy wouldn’t feel at
least an ounce of pride having made a woman cry out like that.
Movement in front of me drags me back to reality, but I still can’t wipe
the grin from my face as I glance at her looking down her body at me. Panic
fills my eyes and my stomach twists, knowing what’s about to happen.
She’s shut down. Her eyes might still be glassy and dark from her release,
but I already know nothing else will be happening between us. Not tonight,
anyway.
“Fuck,” she murmurs, averting her gaze from me and staring at the wall.
“I need to leave.”
My pleas for her to stay die on my tongue. I refuse to allow her to see
that I need more from her. I refuse to allow anyone to see that I need them.
That’s dangerous territory right there.
I stand and take a few steps back as she scrambles from the bed, pulling
her skirt down to cover up and searching out her shirt that’s lying in a pile
on the floor.
“This was… this was a mistake,” she whispers so quietly I almost miss
it before she yanks the door open and all but runs through it.
My body urges me to chase her, to make her see sense and to take what
I need, but the rational side of my brain knows that allowing her to run is
the right thing to do.
Only minutes after she races out of my room do I hear the front door to
the studio slam and lock behind her.
Falling down onto my chair, I rest my head back and close my eyes.
What have I just done?

OceanofPDF.com
 14

Tabitha

M y heart pounds against my ribs by the time I slam my front door

and fall back against it. Anyone would think I was being chased
by a mad man, but then maybe I am. What the fuck was I
thinking allowing him to put his hands—mouth—on me again?
My head bangs back against the door as I chastise myself for falling
under his spell like I’m sure every other female does. One look into those
mesmerising blue eyes and I’m sure they bend over on demand.
“Fuck,” I scream into my empty flat, dropping my head in my hands.
Why did it have to feel so fucking good? Why couldn’t he have been a
fumbling idiot who had no clue what he was doing? That would have made
this so much easier. If he had no skills, I could have easily avoided a repeat,
but as it is, my body is already crying out to experience that all over again.
I tell myself it was just the heat of the moment that made it so good. The
fact that he’d just spent hours working on my body made us both do crazy
things that in normal circumstances wouldn’t happen. But it happened last
night too, a little voice cries in my head, not helping with my attempt to
rationalise what happened.
Knowing whatever I tell myself is pointless, I push off the door and
head for my room, dropping my bags to the bed as I pass before proceeding
to strip out of my clothes. What I really want is a shower to remove any
lingering scent of him and sex from my body, but the ache down my side
reminds me that that can’t happen right now. The ink is barely dry.
 Dropping my skirt, I’m reminded once again of what an epic mistake I
made this evening when my bare bottom is revealed in the mirror I’m
standing in front of.
I left my sodding knickers on his studio floor like a hussy. I roll my eyes
at myself. I really need to get a grip.
Twisting, I get a look at my new ink. I can’t deny that it’s not incredible.
Zach really is talented. And he wasn’t wrong, I have been drawing it as a
way of building my courage for getting it. I never could have imagined it
would have happened quite like it did.
I sigh as I stare at the bright colours and sore skin. Every time I look at
it I’m going to be reminded of him. Or more accurately, his mouth on me.
My core clenches with desire. It would have been so easy to stay and to
enjoy whatever was to follow, and it was obvious there was going to be
more, if the tenting of his trousers was anything to go by.
Getting frustrated, I drag myself away from the mirror and the lifetime
reminder I have of it on my skin and pull a loose t-shirt from my draw and a
fresh pair of knickers. After taking my make-up off—not that much is left
after this long arse day—and brushing my hair, I crawl between the sheets
and toss and turn as memories of his touch from both yesterday and tonight
fill my mind, making me wonder what it might be like for him to give me
his all. My core aches, overcome with emptiness.
For a fleeting moment I consider getting back up and going to his flat to
finish the job so I can get some rest, but I tell myself that’s a really stupid
idea and force my body to lie there until sleep finally claims me.
It’s long past morning when I finally open my eyes the next day. The
fitful sleep I did eventually manage was full of dirty dreams about my boss
and best friend’s brother. Rolling over, I groan when my side hurts and I’m
reminded that my night-time fantasies are partly reality.
I don’t bother changing. Instead I get myself a coffee and head for my
studio. I’ve spent all weekend either working or drinking; I’m so behind on
my studies that I have every intention of locking myself in my flat and
making some serious progress on my project until I’m forced to leave again
Thursday night to face my boss. My cheeks flame at the thought alone.
How the hell am I meant to show my face there again without wanting the
floor to swallow me up?
Cutting myself off from the world, I turn my phone onto aeroplane
mode, put my music on loud and set to work.
I paint, I drink coffee, I eat and get a little sleep. I’m totally in the zone and
covered in paint after two whole days inside my studio. I’ve not bothered
looking at my phone or stepping back into the real world. I desperately
needed some time alone with a canvas, even if my back aches from leaning
over and my hair’s slick with grease after foregoing a shower the past few
days. I tell myself that I’m letting my tattoo heal, but really, I’m just being
lazy.
It’s not until my buzzer starts ringing that I look at the clock and realise
it’s Wednesday evening already.
Glancing at myself in the mirror in the hall, I wince knowing that if it’s
my parents at the other side of the door they’re going to have fit once again.
Proper ladies don’t spend their days locked in a room with only paint for
company. I can hear my mother’s voice loud and clear, as if she’s already
standing in front of me.
Pressing down the button, I hold my breath as I wait to hear who’s at the
other end.
“Biff? You in there or do I have to send out a search party?” my best
friend’s voice sounds out, and I sign with relief.
“I’m here, I’m alive. Come in.”
I press the button to unlock the door and wait until I hear her do so. I’ve
got no time to change, so I settle for retying my hair and tugging down the
huge t-shirt I’m wearing, hoping it’s enough to stop me flashing her. Not
that it’s an issue, she’s probably seen my arse more times than I could count
over the years.
I open the door and leave it on the latch as I go in search of wine. I
really fucking hope I’ve got some in the fridge. I already know there’s not
much in the way of food.
Danni’s heels click against my wooden floor, telling me that when I turn
around I’m going to find her looking much more put together than I am
right now.
“I brought dinner. I assumed you’d probably not eaten if you’ve been
working.” Turning, I find her placing two bags on my island. “And I picked
you up some basics.” She pulls some milk and bread from the bag and,
more importantly, two bottles of wine. “And these are pre-chilled.”
“Lifesaver.”
 “So how’s it going?”
“It’s… going.” I think about the progress I’ve made on the set of
impressionist paintings I’ve started. “I’ve still got a lot to do before I’m
happy.”
“Ugh, such a perfectionist. I’m sure they’re stunning already.”
I shrug before reaching to grab us two glasses.
Danni twists the top off the bottle and pours us each one.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you really need to shower. The food
will wait if you want to…” she gestures towards my bedroom.
“You saying I smell, Dan?”
“Something like that,” she says into her glass.
“Fine. I can take a hint, but I’m taking this with me.”
“Be my guest. I’ll put the food in the oven for when you get back.” She
kicks her shoes off as I leave the room, making herself at home as she
usually does.
I pull off my few clothes and drop them into the laundry basket as I pass
before turning the shower on a little hotter than I usually like and step under
once it’s to temperature.
It burns my head a little, but at least it’ll help wash the grease out.
Knowing I’ve got hot food waiting for me, I don’t take half as long as I
could. I gently wipe over my tattoo before getting out and wrapping both
my body and hair in a towel.
I wash and moisturise my face before grabbing a pair of leggings and a
vest.
With my half empty glass in hand I walk into the kitchen. “Right,
where’s this food? I’m bloody starving.”
Danni drags herself from the sofa where she was watching TV and
comes to help me. I bend over to retrieve the boxes she placed in the oven
before my shower, but I don’t get very far.
“Whoa, hold up a second. What the hell is that?”
My brows draw together for a beat, wondering what she’s talking about
until all the pieces fall into place.
“Oh, this? I had it done at work the other night.” I lift my top to show
her the whole design.
“Whoa, that’s incredible. Is it based on your sketch?”
“It is, with a bit of creative licence.”
“It’s stunning. That artist has some mad skills.”
 I almost snort in response.
“Uh… yeah, he’s uh… pretty good.”
She eyes me curiously but doesn’t ask any more when I go back to the
job I started.
“So what’s going on with you?” I ask once we’re both sitting at my
dining table with plates full of incredible smelling chicken and steamed
vegetables. It’s slightly more healthy than I’d have probably chosen for
myself tonight, but I can’t complain.
“Ugh.” She rolls her eyes, lowering her knife and fork. “My mum is
driving me crazy with all the wedding stuff. And Zach’s not helping. He
didn’t even show up to Harrison’s stag do this weekend. Can you believe
that? His own brother’s stag do. No one knows where he is, if he’s even in
the country. Mum’s beside herself thinking he won’t show to up the
wedding. Makes me never want to get married.”
I bite my tongue from attempting to defend Zach. It’s not my place to
explain his whereabouts when he clearly doesn’t want anyone knowing.
“Oh, and can I find a man who might be remotely interested in being
my plus one? Can I fuck,” she fumes, stabbing a piece of chicken and
shoving it in her mouth.
“I’m sure Zach will be there. Has she tried calling him?” I know it’s a
stupid question, but I can’t really think of anything else to say that won’t
drop either of us in it.
“Of course she has. He hardly ever answers, and when he does he
makes some excuse that he’s busy and has to go. What the fuck is he busy
doing? Banging some chick and pissing his money up the wall.”
I open my mouth to argue. The words are right there on the tip of my
tongue, but the second Danni looks up at me expectantly, they die.
“Have… have you tried getting back on the dating apps?” I ask,
referring to her other issue. “Or just go alone? It’s twenty-twenty, you don’t
need a date for your brother’s wedding.”
“But who will I dance with?”
“Any single guys that attend. Me. I sure won’t have a date.” Not that I
have any intention of going. I accepted the invitation months ago, but
knowing what I do now, I need to figure a way to get out of it. I might have
to come down with some incredibly contagious disease the day before or
something.
“I just want it to be perfect.”
 “Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You’ll find him when you
least expect it.”
“I know. It’ll just be such a romantic day, and I want someone to go
back to my hotel room with after.”
“Who says you won’t?” I wink and she laughs.
“We can only hope.”

Before I know it, it’s Thursday afternoon and it’s time to head to work. A
huge ball of dread sits heavy in my stomach. At least I’ve got Saturday
night off for Summer’s hen do, whatever that might entail, seeing as Danni
still refuses to tell me what she’s planned.
I turn up to the studio to find Titch, Spike and D hanging out on the
sofas with coffees.
“Biff, here’s one for you,” Spike says when he looks up and finds me
pushing the door closed. I take the coffee handed to me and take a sip.
“Thank you. I need this.” I was up early again this morning working and
I’ve barely stopped. “Just the three of you tonight?”
“It seems that way. Zach cancelled all his appointments this week and
fucked off up to Manchester to check on the studio there at the last minute.”
“Oh. Does he do that often?” Titch eyes me curiously. Clearly I’m not
the only one wondering if I have something to do with his disappearance.
Despite not knowing if I had anything to do with it, I breathe a sigh of
relief that I’m not going to have to deal with him tonight. It’s not going to
last forever though, so I need to make the most of the peace.
I enjoy the relief for about two hours. By that time, all the guys’ clients
are in with them and I’m sitting alone with my work and struggling to
focus. I hate to admit it but crazy thoughts of being the reason he’s
disappeared consume me.
I pick up my phone multiple times to call him with some bullshit
question just so I can talk to him and put my mind to rest that this isn’t all
my fault.
It’s just gone eight o’clock when the bell above the front door rings,
forcing my eyes up from the computer screen.
 “Hi, how can I help you?” I ask politely as the woman walks towards
me. She’s so tall, slim and beautiful that I could easily believe she’s a
model. Her long, dark hair hangs around her shoulders like silk and her
cheekbones and jawline are the things girls dream about.
“Oh, hi.” Her eyes flick over my face as if she’s sizing me up just as
much as I am her. I’m not sure what it is, but something about her has me
on edge. “Is Zach here? It’s just I left something in his apartment when I
visited the other night.”
My mouth drops open as realisation slams into me. He’s not left because
of me. Why was I even stupid enough to even think it for a second? It’s a
total coincidence that something in Manchester has called him away.
“I’m sorry, but he’s not actually in today. He’s been called to another of
his studios.”
“Oh… um…” She chews on one of her perfectly manicured nails with
her sparkling white teeth. Jesus, could she be any more perfect? “Is there
any way of getting upstairs? It’s my best friend’s birthday and I left her gift
up there.”
“Let me see what I can do.” Pushing my chair out behind me, I walk
through to where the guys’ rooms are. I hesitate for a second as to which
one to go for but in the end, I stop at the first one and knock.
“Come in,” a deep voice calls.
Pushing the door open, I poke my head around and find D working on
his client.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, looking at the client. “There’s a woman here
saying she’s left something up in Zach’s flat and wants to know if she can
get up there to collect it.”
“What is it? Her virginity?” D and his client laugh while my stomach
turns like I’m about to puke on his floor.
“Probably,” I mutter. But having looked at her, I would say that she
wasn’t that innocent. There’s something in her dark eyes that tells me she
knows exactly how to get a man to do what she wants. “It’s her friend’s
birthday present or something.” I roll my eyes, wondering what it was that
could have possibly distracted her enough to forget it in the first place.
“The spare keys are in the top drawer in his room. Take her up there,
make sure she only gets what she left and escort her out.”
“Sure thing.”
 Stepping inside Zach’s room, the first thing I look at is his tattoo bed,
which is currently up in a sitting position. Memories from Sunday night
slam into me. Urges that I hoped I’d be able to banish by now take me by
surprise. My temperature spikes and my stomach clenches.
Damn him and his talented tongue.
Putting it all to the back of my mind, I move toward the drawer D said
and pull it open. The first thing that catches my attention is my sketch. It’s
sitting on top of everything else.
He kept it. Why?
My hand twitches at my side as I debate what to do. In the end, I snatch
it up and shove it into the back pocket of my skirt. I drew it, therefore it
belongs to me. Rummaging through the random contents of what seems to
be a junk drawer, I eventually find a keyring with a couple of keys on it.
Wrapping my fingers around the cold metal, I find the woman exactly
where I left her.
“Follow me.”
She falls into step behind me, her heels clicking on the tiled floor. I’ve
not yet opened the door that leads to the flat upstairs, and to be honest, I
never thought I would. Being alone with Zach down here is dangerous
enough, let alone venturing up here. I guess it’s safe with him miles away.
Typically, the key that opens the front door is the last one I try. The
second I open it to reveal the open plan living space beyond, my
movements falter. A smell that is purely Zach hits me. I almost stumble
back, thinking that I’m about to come face to face with the man himself.
“Do you know where it might be?” I bark.
“I left it by the sofa, I think.” She pushes past me and goes to look but
comes up empty.
Grumbling, she heads off down the hallway. I don’t want to, but
knowing that I can’t leave her alone unsupervised in his private space, I
follow her. From the second she walked in, I believed her little story, but
now we’re up here I realise that it could all be a master plan to do
something she shouldn’t be.
She turns into a room and I come to a stop in the doorway of what
appears to be Zach’s bedroom. The walls are white, just like the rest of the
flat, but everything else in here is black. Pretty much what I was expecting
from the tattooed bad boy himself.
 “Ah, there it is.” She picks up a Selfridge’s carrier bag from the side and
hooks it over her wrist. “Ha, would you look at that. It seems we didn’t use
the whole box,” she says with a shrug, putting something back down on the
side that I didn’t see her pick up.
My eyes lock on the box of condoms beside her.
My lips purse at the thought of him bringing her up here and doing what
I didn’t allow him to get from me.
“Are you done?”
She takes a step towards me, her eyes dropping down my body.
“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, sweetheart. I suggest you get over
yourself. He’d never want you.” With that said, she marches past me,
ensuring our shoulders collide as she leaves the flat. Her footsteps down the
stairs sound out, but I’m frozen to the spot.
I had no idea how I was feeling was written over my face, but it seems
that I really need to do something about my feelings for my boss.
Absolutely nothing good can come of them for many, many reasons.
After a final look around the mostly tidy room, I make my way back to
the front door to lock up.
Numb, I head back to my desk and fall down on the chair, staring at my
now black computer screen. The woman is nowhere to be seen, so I can
only assume she left.
“Is everything okay?” D asks when he comes out of his room sometime
later. His deep voice startles me and I turn, my eyes wide.
“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just zoned out there for a minute.” In reality I was
back on Zach’s bed with his head between my legs, something I keep telling
myself I need to stop thinking about, but it seems it’s impossible. That
fucker’s got himself in my head, and I can’t push him out no matter what I
try.
He nods, accepting my answer before leaving me to it while he waits for
his next client to arrive.
The whole evening is busy as it usually is, but the time doesn’t fly by
like I’m becoming used to. I hate that it’s his fault. I’m usually sitting here
on edge, waiting to discover what he’s going to do or say when he appears,
but with that not being a worry tonight the time drags.
It’s ten minutes before closing when the phone on my desk rings.
“Good evening, Rebel Ink. How may I help you?”
 There’s silence on the other end, but I don’t miss the mistakable sound
of increased breathing. My skin prickles with awareness and I chastise
myself for being affected when he’s not even spoken.
“Is D in? He’s not answering his phone.” I release a breath I had no idea
I was holding when he finally speaks. The timbre of his rumbling voice
vibrates through me as if he says the words against my skin.
“Oh,” I breathe. It sounds needy even to my own ears, and I straighten
my spine before I allow myself to say anything else. “He is and his last
client just left. Would you like me to take the phone to him?”
“No, how about you…” he pauses, whatever sarcastic comment he was
going to say dying on his lips. “Yeah, that would be great.”
Pushing the chair out behind me, I make the short journey to D’s room
with Zach breathing in my ear. Goosebumps race across my skin as if I can
actually feel it.
I hand the phone over and get out of the room as soon as possible to
start closing up for the night. I need to get out of here. He might not be in
the building, but his presence is here no matter what, and it’s driving me to
insanity.

OceanofPDF.com
 15

Zach

I didn’t really need to go to Manchester, but the thought of watching

Tabitha walk back through the door and sit behind her desk when the
only thing I could think about was how hot and tight she’d be as I slid
my cock into her didn’t really appeal.
So I took the easy way out and I ran. It was a pussy move, I’m fully
aware of that. And to be honest, it did fuck all. If anything, I think it was
worse being so far away and not knowing what was going on. Was Titch
making a play again just because I wasn’t there to stop him? Did any of our
clients take a liking to her and ask her out after their appointment?
The whole thing was a massive head fuck and only pointed to one thing:
I need to fuck her to get her out of my system so I can move the fuck on
with my life without being tempted by the princess in my waiting room.
Knowing she’s got the weekend off, I head back to London late on
Friday night. I avoid the studio when I get there and instead head straight up
to my flat for some sleep.
Finding the box of condoms I’d bought and abandoned on the dresser
doesn’t help with my blue ball situation. I’ve jacked off countless times
since Sunday night but much like the taste of her, nothing seems to get rid
of it.
Waking up the next morning to my ringing phone should be a sign for how
my day’s going to go. Rolling over, I grab it from the bedside table and
groan. It’s my mother again.
I know I’m on her shit list after bailing on my brother’s stag do last
week, but fuck if I wanted to spend my Saturday night with a bunch of
stuck-up tossers and then an entire Sunday playing golf. Fucking golf, I’ve
not got time for that bullshit.
Knowing that I can only ignore her for so long, I reluctantly swipe the
screen and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello.”
“Ah, you’re alive. Good to know.” She tries to make her words sound
like a joke, but I don’t miss the anger that sneaks in.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I’ve missed your calls, I’ve been busy.”
“Is that right? Too busy to attend—”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? But that sort of thing just isn’t me. Harrison
and his friends wouldn’t have wanted me there anyway.”
“He’s your brother, Zachary. Of course he wanted you there.”
“Well, what’s done is done,” I say in the hope she’ll drop it and move
on to something else.
“Yes, well I guess so. I was just ringing to make sure you still planned
on attending the actual wedding.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I attempt to make it sound
as convincing as possible, but I’m not sure Mum falls for it and that’s only
confirmed when she speaks again.
“Really?” Really? No, attending a wedding, whether it be my brother’s
or anyone else’s isn’t exactly my idea of a fun day, but until I want to be
outcast more than I already am then I know it’s in my best interest to go.
My family are good people, they just don’t understand me. They might if
you give them a chance, a little voice inside my head says, but I shake it
away. “Anyway, Summer is finalising the table plan and she needs to know
if you intend on bringing a plus one.”
“Uh—” I start but soon get interrupted.
“I was only talking to Vince and Paula the other day—you remember
them, don’t you? The Bastilles? Their daughter Jessica is single. We
wondered if—”
 “No, Mum.” I shudder at the thought. Jessica, or JJ as I knew her back
in school, was the bane of my fucking life. Okay, so I gave her my virginity,
but I was young and stupid back then and only thought with my teenage
hormones and my dick. She’s a fucking nightmare, and as far as I can tell,
she’s only got worse as she’s got older, clinging to every man who might be
able to give her the easy life she desires. “I’ll find my own plus one.”
Thoughts of asking Tabitha filter through my mind, but I push them back
out as fast as they come. I’m sure my parents would love her, but no
fucking way am I allowing her to think there could be something between
us. Yes, I want to get between her legs again, but that’s it. There will be no
family meetings or any of that shit. She’s from this part of my life, and my
family is a whole other ballgame. I need to keep my worlds separate.
“Okay, so I’ll tell Summer you’ll need two seats?”
“Please.” Although I’ve no fucking clue who I’ll bring. I rack my brain
for someone who’ll fit in but will be loyal enough to keep my secrets to
themselves. Or I could take a randomer, a fake girlfriend maybe. I’m sure
there are plenty of girls out there who’d happily spend their Saturday at a
luxury wedding with incredible food and an open bar.
Mum chats away about the plans as if I give a fuck and I humour her
with some well-timed ohhs and ahhs. My patience with this shit only lasts
so long though, because eventually I find myself making my excuses and
bringing the call to a close. This whole wedding is a bit of a joke if you ask
me, seeing as they’re already married. But what do I know?
“Are you in the country right now?” I consider lying because I know
what’s coming next, but, feeling guilty for shooting her hopes down
already, I tell the truth.
“I am. In London, actually.”
“Any chance you fancy coming to dinner? I miss you.” She tugs on my
heart strings with her soft voice, and I immediately feel bad for not visiting
as often as I should.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
She accepts that as a solid maybe and allows me to hang up.
Thankfully, my Saturday afternoon and evening are booked solid with
clients so I don’t get all that much time to focus on the empty reception
desk out the front. The four of us keep our doors open and listen out for
customers coming in, but thankfully we only get a couple of walk-ins that
we have to turn away.
I’m standing in the kitchen doorway, sipping on a coffee, when my next
client walks through the front door.
“Long time no see. How’s it going, man?” I say, walking over and
slapping him on the back.
“It’s good, man. Sorry it’s been so long.”
“Working hard?”
“Always, always.”
“Come on through, you can tell me all about the women you have
hanging off you every weekend while I cause you some pain.” He laughs
but walks through to my room when I gesture for him to do so.
Christian was one of my very first clients when I took over this place
and turned it into my own. He didn’t bat an eyelid at having me ink him up
despite my lack of experience. He reckoned back then he could tell I was
talented just by looking at me. I say he’s an idiot, but whatever.
“Remind me where we’re at.” He hops up on my chair and lifts his leg
for me, revealing his half completed artwork. “Jesus, it’s taken you too long
to get back for this.”
“Tell me about it, things have been mental. I took on a bar job because
things got a bit quiet. Huge mistake because the calls keep coming. I’m
working two jobs most weekends. I shouldn’t complain though, the money
is pretty killer right now.”
“That’s awesome. I’m assuming you’ve not got a job tonight?” I ask,
thinking that no one wants their stripper to have red raw skin and a wrapped
tattoo hindering their view.
“Ha well, that was the plan but I got a call earlier. One of the other
guys’ missus has gone into labour and they’re a guy short for a hen do. It’s
a hard life, but someone’s got to do it.”
I laugh. “Yeah, rather you then me.”
“Nah, what are you chatting about, man? The girls would love you.”
“My body maybe, but I’ve got the rhythm of a plank of fucking wood.”
He barks out a laugh. “I’m not sure most of them really give a fuck, to
be honest. They’re usually drunk off their arses and just up for a good
time.”
“It’s still a hard pass from me.”
“You should come. Apparently, there’s like four other hen dos at the
club tonight aside from the one I’m booked for. They’ll be hot, horny
women everywhere. Plus, it’s ladies night so…”
“Yeah?” I ask, sounding more enthusiastic than I actually feel about it.
“I’m not booked until ten-thirty, so come after you finish here and we’ll
get a drink. I’ll put you on the VIP list. I need a good wing man, things
have been a little dry recently.”
“You’re a male stripper with women hanging off you on a daily basis.
How can you possibly be having a dry spell?”
“Five days, mate. I’ve not had a shag for five days.”
“That’s your dry spell?” I laugh at him and focus back on his leg. “The
women not going to mind this?” I nod to his skin that’s already starting to
glow.
“You really think they’re going to be looking at the back of my leg?”
Okay, so he has a point there.
I work on his design for another hour while we shoot the shit, and
before he leaves, he tells me that tonight is non-negotiable and that he’s
expecting me at the bar no later than eleven-thirty. I agree but mostly so it’ll
get him to leave so I can start my next client.
The reception is cold and empty as I follow him out and greet my next
victim. I hate the way my stomach twists with disappointment that Tabitha’s
not sitting there doing her best to ignore my presence.
Once again pushing her from my mind, I get back to work. Maybe
Christian’s right. All I need is a few drinks and a woman to sort my head
out.

The strip club is packed, the queue of women to get in wrapping around the
building. The things that fall from their mouths as I walk past them would
make a sailor blush. I turn towards where a couple of the more descriptive
comments come from and run my eyes over the women. Some of them are
hot. Some are totally my type, but I still don’t get quite the same excitement
racing through my veins as I usually would.
 Walking up to the bouncer, I give him my name and he opens the rope
for me. “Be careful in there,” he warns. “This lot might eat you alive.”
“I can handle horny women.” He laughs and lets me enter before
turning back to attempt to calm down the women at the front of his queue
who are offering him sexual favours in order to be allowed inside. Why do I
get the idea that his job isn’t as fun tonight as it would seem on paper?
The pounding, sexy beat of the music vibrates through the floor and up
my legs. Women walk past laughing with their friends. A few have to be
held upright after already having had one too many, but I ignore them all in
favour of the bar.
As I make my way over, I see that Christian was right. There are
multiple women wearing different versions of ‘I’m the maid of honour’ t-
shirts, veils, and learner plates.
A little guilt hits me for missing my brother’s stag. Maybe if he had it in
a strip club then I might have made a bit more of an effort. I’ve no idea
what his soon to be bride is doing for hers, but I can only assume it’s
something equally as dull. She’s a painter, so probably some crappy life
drawing class followed by afternoon tea. Yawn.
The barman who comes over looks run ragged. “Having a fun night?” I
ask when he leans forward in an attempt to hear my order.
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” His eyes roll so far back in his head, I’m
almost worried they might stay there.
“Pint of lager… and a shot of whisky,” I add, thinking that I’m going to
need more than a pint is going to be able to give me.
I’m earlier than I expected seeing as my last client of the night was a
no-show. I down the whisky the second it’s handed over then turn so my
back is resting against the bar with my pint in hand.
I glance around at all the overly excited women as a couple of men
gyrate on the stage. I doubt they can see everything that’s happening down
here with the intensity of the lights shining on them. It’s probably a good
thing. Some of these women are wild.
Running my eyes from the main stage to a smaller one beside me, I find
Christian doing his thing. I almost look away, not wanting to watch a friend
get his kit off in front of me while wiggling his hips quite like that, but the
second he reaches into the crowd to grab a willing woman, I can’t help but
see how lucky he’s about to be. He’s told me plenty of tales about the
women he’s had to dance for in the past, so I can’t help being intrigued.
 That all goes to shit when a flash of bright pink hair fills my eyes before
a body I recognise very well steps up on to the stage.
My body tenses, my grip around my glass so tight I swear it’s going to
smash any second.
What the actual fuck?

OceanofPDF.com
 16

Tabitha

“Y ou planned Summer’s hen do at a strip club? Do you even

know her?” I ask Danni in utter disbelief when the limo that
picked us all up earlier pulls up out the front of a club.
I look over to the bride to be who’s animatedly chatting with some
friends and Danni’s Mum while sipping on her second glass of champagne.
She’s yet to notice we’ve stopped, but I can only imagine that she’s going to
be horrified. This sort of thing isn’t really her scene. In the whole time I’ve
known her, I think she’s been in a club about three times, and those were
only because it was others’ birthday’s, including mine, and she felt like she
had to be there. She’s much more suited to a day of pampering and
afternoon tea than this.
“What? It’s ladies’ night, she’s going to love it.” My brows rise at her
enthusiasm and positivity. “We’re here,” she calls, halting all other
conversations that are happening around us.
A few of the ladies scream in delight when they see our secret location.
Summer and Diane both look out of the window at the same time, and I
watch as the colour drains from their faces.
“Danni, are you sure—” Diane starts but is soon interrupted.
“Oh come on. It’s Summer’s last night as a single woman, kind of. We
need to send her off in style. Now pull up those granny pants and lets go.”
Diane looks about ready to pop a vein as her daughter’s words settle into
her.
Everyone else seems excited, so reluctantly they both follow along
when we start climbing out and entering the club.
The place is already heaving, the music almost unbearably loud, but it’s
not until we walk into the main room that almost all our mouths drop. There
are half naked men everywhere and women staring at them, eyes practically
popping out of their heads like they’re cartoon characters.
“I think this was a mistake,” I mumble. I know Danni won’t hear, but I
feel better for saying it.
It turns out that Danni has booked us a section right in front of one of
the smaller stages. I can only hope that will make it easier for Summer and
Diane.
A female member of staff, dressed in only a tiny pair of hot pants and a
barely there tank, comes over and talks to Danni as if they’re long lost
friends. She lifts the hot pink rope for us to enter the sectioned off space and
gestures for a waiter to bring over two trays of shots. Hopefully they’ll help
wipe the shock off Summer’s face and get her into the spirit of things. I
think it’s too late for Diane. She just looks terrified by the whole
experience.
Everyone takes a shot when they’re offered around. I keep my eyes on
Summer and don’t miss the tremble of her hand as she lifts it to her mouth.
Everyone starts to take a seat to watch the guy who’s just walked out
from backstage, but Summer doesn’t move.
“Well, this wasn’t what I was expecting,” she shouts at me when I get
close to her.
“Me either. But it should be fun. It’ll be good to let your hair down.”
“They’d better not try to get me up on that stage, I can’t think of
anything worse.” A shudder runs through me at the thought. I’m all for
being here, watching the show and enjoying everything these guys have to
offer, but I’m fully with Summer. I don’t want them wiggling their junk in
my face.
My traitorous mind chooses that moment to conjure up an image of a
guy I wouldn’t mind getting up close and personal to. A guy who I’ve still
not seen since our little rendezvous in his studio last weekend, or spoken to
since our very awkward conversation on the phone the other night. I also
still have no idea why he left so suddenly. All the unknowns are driving me
slightly crazy, but I tell myself that it’s just Zach. It’s what he does. It’s the
reason why none of his family knows what he does.
“It’ll be fine. Danni knows you better than that,” I say, hoping like hell
I’m right.
Summer laughs, but it’s nervous at best. I glance down at her cute floral
dress that screams afternoon tea and wonder what she’s really thinking right
now. The second Danni sent me a photo of her dress for tonight, I knew it
wasn’t going to be a quiet one. I never would have put money on male
strippers though. After rummaging through my wardrobe to find something
to wear, I eventually decided on another shopping trip for something that
better fit my new look. I found a little black dress in Selfridge’s that I just
fell in love with. It’s short, very short, and covered in heavy lace. The long
arms make me feel a little less exposed, seeing as the back is totally open.
It’s perfect to show off the new artwork that curls around my side. Seeing as
I had some time this morning, I’d booked myself a hair appointment to get
the pink done properly and to have it put up for tonight. The pink is much
more vibrant and looks incredible with the up-do my stylist spent hours
creating.
I feel like a million dollars. It’s just a shame I can’t get him out of my
head because a night of meaningless, hot and sweaty sex does sound
appealing right about now.
Thankfully, as the evening progresses Summer has a few more drinks
and she really starts to get into the swing of it, and much to my surprise
Diane does too as she starts pointing out things that guys are doing up on
stage.
“Well, I’ve got to admit that maybe this wasn’t a horrendous idea. She
looks like she’s enjoying it,” I say to Danni when she comes over with a
fresh drink for me.
“There’s something to be said for living outside your comfort zone
every now and then.” I agree, but when my mind sends me back to Zach’s
tattoo chair, I start to wonder if there’s actually a lot to be said for living in
your comfort zone, safely and without any risks.
“Just tell me you haven’t done anything crazy like book her a lap
dance.”
Danni winks and I groan. “In for a penny in for a pound, Biff.”
“She’s going to fucking hate you.”
 “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. She’s about to become family, so it’s not
like she can avoid me.”
Shaking my head at my best friend, I glance up as the lighting changes
around us. Spotlights shine brightly on the stage and everyone around me
stops and looks.
A new guy steps up. He’s vaguely familiar for some reason, but I can’t
pinpoint from where. When I take in the inches upon inches of ink that
covers the skin already on show, I wonder if he’s a client at the studio.
He dances around for a bit, building some excitement before he comes
to a stop at the edge of the stage by where we’re congregating.
I look at Danni who’s wearing a shit-eating grin, and then to Summer
who looks like she could puke at any moment.
“Right, where’s my lucky lady?”
He looks around, but seeing as Summer’s wearing a veil and bride to be
sash it’s not exactly hard to find her in our crowd.
My heart races and my skin starts to prickle. I’m not even the one he’s
looking for and I’m panicking.
My eyes are locked on Summer as realisation as to what’s about to
happen settles into her. She shakes her head, her eyes going impossibly
wide as she starts to back away.
“Come on, Sum. Say goodbye to single life in style,” Danni encourages,
alongside some of her more adventurous friends.
“No, no way am I getting up on this stage.”
I’ve got no fucking clue what comes over me, but my need to get this
guy and Danni off her case has me stepping forward. “I’ll do it on her
behalf.”
“No, no you don’t—” Summer tries to argue, but I see the relief that
fills her eyes.
“This is Summer’s night,” Danni argues.
“She’s terrified, Dan, and she quite obviously doesn’t want to do it.”
Danni looks between the two of us and huffs. “Whatever.” She waves
me off and disappears in search of another drink. I’m surprised. I thought
she might willingly put herself up on stage in Summer’s—or my—place but
she just leaves us to it.
“Right, who’s it going to be then, ladies?”
Dragging in a huge breath that I hope might bring some confidence with
it, I raise my hand to the guy and allow him to pull me up on stage. When I
look at Summer, she mouths a thanks to me. She damn well owes me one
for this. The rest of the ladies in our group cheer as I’m guided to a seat in
the middle of the stage.
The guy—who is even more familiar now he’s close up—puts his hand
on the back of the chair over my shoulders and grinds himself into me.
“At least look like you’re enjoying it, sweetheart. What’s your name?”
“B-Biff,” I stutter, not really wanting to have a full on conversation with
this guy moments before he gets naked.
“Biff? I knew I recognised you.”
I tilt my head to the side as I focus on him trying to rack my brain for
where I’ve met him before when it hits me. He’s the barman I almost went
back for.
“Christian?”
“The one and only. Now, are you ready for the best night of your life?”
He winks before standing back and turning so I’ve no choice but to stare at
his arse as he bends over in front of me.
I might have been interested in him when he was the hot, tattooed
barman but now… not so much.
He tugs at his trousers and they leave his body in one fell swoop,
enticing a cheer from the exuberant crowd below that vanished to nothing
the second he pulled me onto this stage. The only things I can see are him
and the blinding lights. There could be a million people or absolutely no
one in front of me. Sadly the noise they all make tells me that this
mortifying moment of mine is being witnessed by hundreds of other
women, most of which are probably dying to be sitting where I am right
now.
My eyes drop from Christian’s thong-clad arse and down his inked legs.
I notice the clear wrap on the back of his calf and wonder how recently he
had that done. I picture him at work sitting on one of the chairs with the gun
pressed to his leg.
Thoughts of Zach don’t exactly make this experience any more
comfortable. Just thinking about how capable his hands are, both for
creating everlasting artwork and with how he teased my body into a frenzy,
has my temperature rising. I tell myself it’s the spotlights.
I wonder if he can dance like that? I’m sure I’d be much more
interested if it were him about to expose himself. I’m desperate to discover
what he’s hiding, seeing as he’s taken his fill of most of my naked body.
 I’m totally lost in my musings when Christian comes back to me.
“That’s better. You look a little more into it now.” I refrain from telling him
that it’s thoughts of my boss that has this current look on my face and allow
him to continue with his routine, following his lead when he wants me to
run my hands down his back. Danni was right, in for a penny…
By the time I’m hopping down off the stage, sweat clings to my body
and I’m desperate for a drink. Thankfully someone thrusts one into my hand
after demanding to know exactly how that was.
Mortifying. Embarrassing. Long.
Christian is still up on stage driving the crowd wild, but I keep my back
turned, needing to forget everything about what just happened. Before he let
me down he asked if I wanted to have a drink with him after his set. He’s
probably never received such a quick refusal in his life. Even his offer of a
more private show didn’t spark any excitement inside me.
I felt like I’d shut down on that stage. Nothing he did aroused me in
anyway, I was too desperate to hide back into the crowd, or even better,
under my duvet.
Thankfully, the rest of the evening passes with little drama. Summer,
Diane and I stay as far away from the stage as possible and Danni forgets
her mission of embarrassing the hell out of the bride to be and settles for
getting her nice and drunk instead, which Summer complies with. Danni
matches her drink for drink, and by the time we’re getting ready to leave
she can barely stand up.
With my arm wrapped around her waist for support, we follow the other
ladies out to the limo when we all decide it’s time to call it a night. The
drinks I’ve had buzz through my system making the room spin a little, but
I’m nowhere near as drunk as some of the others and I’m pretty confident
I’ll still remember every mortifying detail about tonight when I wake up in
the morning.
We’re almost at the exit when my name is called.
Looking over my shoulder, I find Christian, thankfully now fully
dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of slim fit jeans. He looks good with his
hair still wet from a shower and the muscles we all got an eyeful of earlier
straining the fabric covering him.
“Oh hey,” I don’t mean for my voice to sound flat, but really, I just want
to go home now. My feet are aching and I really could just do with a couple
of painkillers and a pint of water in the hope of keeping tomorrow
morning’s hangover at bay.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go and get a drink sometime.” He lifts
his arm, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. It’s weird to see him a
little unsure of himself after he was flashing his naked body for anyone who
cared to look only moments ago.
Danni seems to perk up all of a sudden and pinches my side when I
don’t say anything.
“I… um…”
“She’d love to,” Danni slurs.
I turn my death stare on her, but she doesn’t even bat an eyelid.
“Danni,” I seethe through gritted teeth.
“What? He’s hot. You’ve already seen the goods, so why not?” Her
voice is nowhere near as quiet as it should be, and when I glance over at
Christian he’s got an amused smirk on his lips.
“She’s got a point,” he says. “Can I get your number?” He holds his
phone out for me, and not wanting to be rude, I take it from his hands and
tap it in. For a brief moment I almost consider giving him a fake one, but
the nice, honest girl inside me doesn’t allow it. Christian seems like a good
enough guy. I should probably at least give him a chance, even if everyone
standing behind me has already seen his cock.
“I’ll call you.” His smile is wide as he takes his phone back, ensuring
our fingers touch in the process. I instantly notice the absence of any
tingles, like the ones I get the second another inked-up guy touches me.
Chastising myself for thinking of him once again. I smile at Christian.
“I’m sorry, but I really need to get this one home.”
“No worries. It’s been a long night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure.” My stomach twists, but it’s not with excitement as Danni and I
turn back the way we were going and leave Christian behind.
The journey back in the limo is very different to the one here. Everyone
is looking a little worse for wear, and some are actually asleep as the huge
vehicle makes its way through London.
Thankfully, seeing as Danni was the one who booked it, it stops at my
flat first. Danni hauls her giant bag from the floor that she left in here
earlier and clambers out after me once she’s said her goodbyes to everyone.
It’s tradition that she stays here after a night out. If we’re still awake, we
often watch reruns of Friends or Sex and the City with junk food to soak up
any remaining alcohol before crashing and ordering the most unhealthy
breakfast we can come up with the next morning, so I wasn’t surprised
when I found her overnight bag in the limo when they picked me up earlier.
“I need sleep,” she complains when I force her to walk up the stairs.
“What’s wrong with the lift?”
“You know I hate using it.”
“Yeah, but…” she whines like a petulant little child.
“Suck it up, sweetheart. We’re nearly there.”
“Ugh.” She stops halfway up, plonks her arse down on the steps and
pulls her shoes off.
Taking her bag off her in the hope it’ll speed her up, I continue the
climb.
The second we’re in my flat, she immediately heads for my guest room,
also known as her room, and begins stripping out of her dress.
Dropping her bag on the kitchen counter, I get us both a glass of water
and take everything through to her. By the time I get there, she’s already in
bed.
“You should at least take your make-up off. You know what they say
about sleeping in it.”
“I don’t care.” She pulls the duvet up around her neck and snuggles
down.
“Drink this. I don’t want to deal with you puking all morning.”
There’s no response other than her breathing getting heavier.
Leaving her to it, I take my own glass of water and shut her door behind
me.
I’m just at my bedroom when I swear I hear a knock on my front door.
Stopping for a second, I wait to see if I’m going crazy. I’m just about to
move, putting it down to the alcohol when it happens again. If someone
wanted me, they’d use the buzzer. Unless it’s a neighbour.
My curiosity getting the better of me, I head back to the door and pull it
open. The person I find standing on the other side takes my breath away.

OceanofPDF.com
 17

Tabitha

I stare into his darkened eyes, trying to figure out what the hell is going
on. Glancing behind him, I find he’s alone.
“Zach?” My voice is no more than a breathy whisper and I wish it
were stronger. “Wha—what are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
My heart races as I stare at him, desperately trying to figure this out.
“That all depends.”
My brows draw together. “On what?”
“On what you do next.”
I gasp as he slams his hand down on the front door, forcing it so wide
that it crashes back against the wall. I wince at the noise this late, but I’m
soon distracted when he steps up to me. His body heat hits my front, and
every muscle in my body aches for me to reach out for him, to touch him
and take what I’ve been desperate for.
I open my mouth to respond, to try to get the answers I crave, but he
uses that as his opportunity. His hand glides across my jaw line and his
fingers thread into my hair as his lips crash down on mine. He doesn’t wait
to find out if I’m going to respond, he just takes charge. His tongue delves
into my mouth, searching out mine as our bodies press together.
It takes me a second to register what’s happening, but the moment I do,
I join in. My tongue duels with his as our teeth clash and low moans of
desire escape from both of us.
 He walks us into the flat and I just about register the sound of the door
closing behind us before I’m spun and pushed up against it.
“Fuck, this dress,” he mutters, pulling back from me and running his
eyes down the length of my body. “Been dying to get you out of it all
night.”
His words confuse me, but I don’t have time to focus on them because
his lips find mine once again and the only thing I can think about is him. He
consumes every part of my body with his kiss alone. It’s a heady feeling
and one I could become very used to very easily. It’s a terrifying thought.
His hands run down my sides, his thumbs teasing the underside of my
breasts which are desperate for more attention before he skims them over
my waist and to my exposed thighs. In one quick move, he has me off the
floor and my legs wrapped around his waist. His hard length presses against
my core and a throaty groan of approval rumbles up my throat.
“Can’t. Get. E-fucking-nough. Of. You.” His admission has desire
pooling in my lower stomach and lava filling my veins. My heart hammers
so hard against my chest as I fight to drag in the air I need with his lips still
connected to mine. “All I can think about,” he says, peppering kisses along
my jaw until he finds the sensitive spot under my ear that makes me
shudder with need, “is you.”
“Oh god, Zach.” My chest heaves, my nipples press painfully against
the confines of my dress, and my knickers are soaked with my need for him
to touch me. To feel his skin against mine.
My fingers have a mind of their own as I reach out to release the fabric
of his black t-shirt. I pull it up from his waist, desperate to see more of him
at last. I drag it up his torso, revealing his sculpted abs and a deep V that
makes my mouth water.
“Off,” I demand. He lifts his arms up for me and together we somehow
manage to free him from the fabric and it falls to the floor somewhere
around us.
“Fuuuuck.” The word is quiet and drawn out as I stare at his inked body.
It only fuels the fire that’s out of control within me. The chain hanging
around his neck intrigues me, but I’m not able to focus on it.
“Your turn.” He finds the little button that’s holding my dress together at
the base of my neck and has it open in record time. He peels the lace from
my shoulders until he reveals my bare breasts beneath.
 “Fuck, Pussy Cat. These are fucking perfect.” He doesn’t allow me to
remove my arms, so they stay pinned at my sides by the fabric as he lifts me
a little higher and begins feasting on my nipples.
I cry out in pleasure as he bites down on one, sending a bolt of lust
straight to my core.
“More, Zach. More, please,” I beg.
Suddenly we’re moving.
“Tell me which room is yours, unless you want me to fuck you on the
sofa.” His words are like gasoline on my raging desire.
“Sec-second on the left,” I stutter, struggling to form words.
Using my back, he pushes the door open before kicking it shut. The
slam hits my ears and allows a little reality to slip back in.
Fuck. His sister is passed out in my guest room.
Panic hits me, the butterflies in my stomach suddenly reacting to more
than just my desire. But it only lasts a few minutes because Zach allows my
body to slide down his until my feet hit the floor. His hands cup my face
and he brings his lips to mine.
His tongue gently sweeps past my lips. It’s much softer than it was out
in the hallway, and I fear he’s lost interest. But after a few seconds he seems
to come back to himself. His hands sweep down over my shoulders before
he finds my breasts once again. He pinches both my nipples and I gasp,
pulling back from his kiss in surprise. My arms are still trapped at my sides.
I’m desperate to touch him, to feel his muscles bunch and the softness of his
skin when we connect.
Our eyes lock. His blue ones are dark, giving away the fire that’s
burning within, his lips are swollen from my kiss and parted slightly as he
tries to catch his breath. Knowing that I was the one to put that look on his
face makes my chest swell with pride.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he repeats before making quick work of
removing my dress from my hips and freeing my hands. I lift my arms
immediately and reach out for him, only for his fingers to encircle my
wrists and stop any chance of it happening.
He presses me against the wall. The coldness bites into the skin of my
back and makes me shiver, but with his eyes on my almost naked body, I’m
anything but cold.
He lifts my arms above my head and holds both wrists with one hand.
His free hand lands gently on my cheek, and as his eyes stare deep into
mine, I’m rendered motionless as something intense washes through me.
“Zach?” I question, needing him to do something and stop looking at
me as if he’s seeing deeper than I want him to.
Shit, does he remember me? It’s not something I’ve worried about since
our first meeting, because it was very obvious that he didn’t have a clue
who I was.
Another thought hits me. “When did you see me in this dress?”
His eyes narrow as if he didn’t hear me, but after another second his lips
part. “I was at Pulse tonight.” He steps forward, the length of his body
pressing against mine, his arousal obvious against my stomach. Heat floods
my core, knowing he’s as desperate for this as me right now.
“On ladies’ night? Something you need to tell me, boss?”
A small smirk twitches at the corner of his lips. “Not at all. I was there
for the ladies.”
“Oh.” Something unpleasant twists my stomach.
“I’ve got a friend who works there, but I wasn’t expecting to find you
looking like fucking sin.” My cheeks flush. “I watched you up on stage. I
wanted to kill that motherfucker for getting so close to you.”
“Jealous?” I ask, curious as to how he’s going to play this.
“Like you wouldn’t fucking believe.”
“But I thought you wanted to ruin me?” I ask, using his own words
against him.
“Oh, Tabby Cat. I’m going to do that and then some.”
One moment I’m pressed up against the wall and the next I’m bouncing
on my bed as Zach sheds his trousers and boxer briefs. My eyes drop to his
cock that’s hard and ready. My mouth waters as I wonder just how he’ll
taste. Sadly, I don’t get a chance to find out because he reaches forward and
drags my knickers down my legs. He tugs them over my shoes before
throwing them over his shoulder.
“That’s better.” Before I have time to think, he’s pushing my thighs
wide and his finger is running down my centre. “So fucking wet.”
“Zach,” I plead, my legs quivering with my need for more.
“Zach what? You’re going to need to be more specific, Kitten.”
“Your mouth. On me. Now.”
With his eyes holding mine, he lowers towards my throbbing clit. I look
down my body as the heat of his breath hits me.
 “Have you been thinking about this since the last time?” His eyebrow
quirks, telling me that he knows exactly how good he is. His arrogance
should be a turn off, but at this very moment, with his face between my
legs, it’s anything but.
“Yes,” I breathe, lifting my hips from the bed, offering myself to him,
desperate for his touch.
“Patience, Kitten,” he murmurs, his finger making contact once again
and circling my entrance.
“Fuck, please, please.” My hands fist the sheets beneath me as I fight to
stay in control.
“Fucking love it when you beg.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise meeee.” His tongue presses against my little
nub and I snap. My hands release the sheets in favour of his hair so I can
pull him closer. He chuckles against me, but it feels too fucking good to
care. Pleasure ripples around my body as he licks, sucks and even bites
down on my clit. Unintelligible words and pleas for more fall from my lips,
but I don’t register them as Zach goes to town on my body. His hands reach
up and palm my breasts before pinching my nipples and sending me
careering towards a release so strong I already know it’s going to knock me
for six.
Why does it have to be courtesy of a man I can’t stand?
His tongue lowers and spears inside me. My fingers grip onto his hair so
hard I can only imagine it must seriously hurt, but I don’t give a shit, and
nor does he because at no point does he let up.
“Oh god, Zach. Zach,” I cry as he builds me higher and higher.
One hand releases my breast and he slips two fingers deep inside me,
finding my g-spot almost instantly as he puts pressure on my clit with his
tongue.
“Come,” he rumbles against me, and the vibrations of his deep voice are
the final straw. My body locks up tight before I crash over the edge. He
continues licking and gently fucking me as my body convulses and twitches
as I ride out the most intense pleasure I’ve ever experienced. It borders on
being too much, too intense, but before it’s even subsided, I know that I
want to experience it all over again.
I’m too focused on the aftershocks of my orgasm to notice that Zach
pulls back. It’s not until the bed dips as he crawls onto it that I manage to
drag my eyes open.
 His hair flops over his forehead as he crawls over my body, the cool
metal of his dog tag landing on the heated skin of my stomach and making
me shudder. His eyes flick over my face, taking in the effects of my
pleasure as my chest heaves for the air I so desperately need.
“Fuck, Tabby Cat. What are you doing to me?” His question confuses
me, but I don’t get a chance to ask before his lips find mine and his tongue
delves in. The taste of myself only makes me more desperate for him. I
eagerly open up for him, my hands landing on his taught back. He settles
between my legs, his cock teasing my entrance. I’m so fucking desperate to
feel him pushing inside me that I lift up, trying to make it happen.
“Fuck,” he groans, almost as if he’s in pain.
My hands slide all the way down his back, his muscles bunching as I
descend, until I find his arse. I squeeze, trying to pull him closer.
“And here I thought you were a good little posh girl,” he whispers in my
ear, proving just how wrong he’s got me.
“Fuck me, Zach. I need you. Need you buried deep in—ahhhh.” He
listens to my demand, finds my entrance and in one quick thrust he’s deep
inside me. “Oh god, yes. Fuck.” He stills for a second to allow me to adjust.
I’m surprised by his consideration but equally as grateful as it’s been quite a
while since my body has experienced a real cock and not one made of
plastic.
“Jesus, Kitten. So fucking tight.” He drops his head into the crook of
my neck, his lips kissing the sensitive skin as he starts to move. I meet him
thrust for thrust, but it’s not long before we both need more.
He sits up, revealing his incredibly sculpted chest and abs covered in
ink that I’m desperate to know the story behind. I reach out to his dog tag,
but he sees where I’m heading and instead pulls it over his head and reaches
over to drop it to my bedside table.
“Now, where were we?”
Taking both of my hands in his, he lifts them above my head as his hips
pick up speed.
Sweat clings to my skin as he moves above me, hitting an incredibly
deep place inside me with every thrust.
With both of my hands in one of his, he drops his free hand and slips it
between the sheets and my arse, managing to change the angle of my hips.
My back arches as the pleasure takes over and he catches one of my nipples
in his mouth.
 Our bodies move together, my hands raking up and down his back in an
attempt to get more of what I need to push me to the edge once again. One
orgasm from him wasn’t enough, and I’m pretty sure two won’t be either.
Fuck, I’m becoming addicted to this arrogant motherfucker.
“Look at me, Kitten.”
I drag my eyes open and find him staring down at me, his eyes almost
black, his jaw tense and the muscles in his neck and across his shoulders
straining. He’s never looked so fucking hot.
“Now, come for me. Let me feel you coming around my cock.”
He lifts me a little higher, causing him to rub against my clit as well as
stroking me on the inside, and I detonate like a fucking rocket.
“Jesus, Kitten, fuck,” Zach grunts as I clamp down on him, riding out
my pleasure. It’s only seconds later that I feel his cock twitch deep inside
me before his face pulls tight as he releases everything he has. It’s in that
moment that something happens in my chest. It tightens almost painfully,
and I know that I’m not going to be able to walk away from this easily and
that it’s going to hurt like fuck when he turns his back on me now he’s got
what he wanted.
His weight falls on top of me, pressing me into my memory foam
mattress, and I love the feeling of his body on mine, knowing that I caused
his current sated state.
A bang from the room next to mine has his head lifting.
“What was that?”
My heart pounds as I think about the woman sleeping just the other side
of the wall. I really shouldn’t be doing this with her so close. Both of them
will hate me when they find out I’ve been lying to them.
“Oh… uh… it’s just my friend. She got drunk off her arse and passed
out the second she hit the bed.”
“As long as she doesn’t interrupt, I don’t give a fuck.” Something tells
me that statement wouldn’t be true if he knew who my friend was, but when
he starts kissing down my neck and across my collarbone I forget all about
it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, embarrassment immediately hitting my
cheeks at my stupid question.
He pauses right above my breast. My nipples beg for attention, and I
have to fight to stop myself lifting them towards his face.
Amusement fills his eyes as they hold mine. “Ruining you.”
 My lips form an O but no words come out. I kinda thought we were
done, but I’m delighted that it seems we’ve only just started.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“It’s nothing. I just thought—”
“I’d got what I came for?”
I nod, feeling vulnerable for allowing him to know my thoughts.
“Well, I hope you’re not tired, Tabby Cat, because I’ve only just
started.”
A small shriek rips from my lips as he flips me over, his palm landing
on the fullness of my arse, shocking the hell out of me. I’ve never been
spanked before, but I think I like it. Heat floods my core as realisation hits
that we’re not done.
“Tabitha?” he asks, his voice sounding serious all of a sudden. I look
over my shoulder to find him sitting across the back of my legs. He looks
fucking incredible with his hair all mussed up, his swollen lips and his cock
standing proud once again. My mouth waters. He really is a piece of art.
“Y-yeah?”
“Are you on birth control?”
I tense as I realise that he just took me bare and I didn’t even blink. Shit.
But that’s what this arsehole does to me—he steals all my senses and totally
consumes my entire body.
“I-I’m on the pill.”
“Good. I’m clean. I’ve never…” He trails off, averting his eyes. I’m
desperate to reach out to pull his eyes back to me so I can read his thoughts.
“Never what?” I ask innocently.
“I’ve never gone bare before.” He looks back to me, and I understand
why he turned his head. He feels it too. This connection. This pull between
us that neither of us can deny. “I’ve never forgotten before. Fuck, Kitten.”
He drops his gaze and shakes his head as if he can’t believe it. “I’m meant
to be ruining you, not the other way around.”
My breath catches at his honesty. “Zach,” I breathe, but he makes it
clear we’re done talking about this when his palm collides with my arse
once again.
“Fucking love this arse. Now get on your hands and knees.”
I scramble to do as I’m told and in seconds he’s filling me. I didn’t think
it would be possible, but this position means he gets even deeper.
 He ploughs into me with such force, the bed bangs against the wall and
my body’s forced up the mattress even with his hands gripping my hips
almost painfully tight.
When we’re both on the brink of release, he pulls me up so my back is
against his chest. One of his hands drops and his fingers begin to strum my
clit while the other lifts and wraps around my throat.
“Mine,” he grates in my ear as his cock swells inside me and I crash
into oblivion, quickly followed by him.

OceanofPDF.com
 18

Zach

I wake up hot. No, burning up. I throw the covers off, but it’s not until I
crack my eye open and find the naked body beside me that memories
from last night come back to me. I glance around her bedroom. It’s
pretty much as I expected it to be. It’s not a penthouse like I assumed but a
nice flat in an edgy converted warehouse. Knowing Tabitha as I do now, it
kind of suits her. It’s got the whole posh girl with an edge vibe that she
seems to like.
She moans in her sleep and my cock jumps to attention. Looking over
and seeing the bare smooth skin of her back beside me and the swell of her
arse, my fingers twitch for more.
She blew me away last night. Remembering the things that fell from her
mouth, her demands for more, her descriptive way of telling me exactly
what she needed… Fuck, my cock weeps to slide deep inside her tight little
pussy again.
Unable to stop myself, my hand slips under the sheet and palms her
arse. Even in her sleep she reacts to me, pushing herself into my hand.
She whimpers when I place my lips to her bare shoulder and pepper
kisses across her soft skin.
I should leave. I should walk out right now and forget last night ever
happened. I try reminding myself that I hate this woman. A woman who
stands for everything I’ve spent my life getting away from. The pretence,
the fakeness, the thinking that because there’s money sitting in a bank,
they’re better than others. I fucking hate it, and she’s part of that world. I
don’t know who her parents are, but I sure as shit know the type of people
they are.
But there’s more to her than just the posh girl you first saw, a little voice
in my head says. I push it down and focus on the task at hand.
Dropping my hand lower when Tabitha once again pushes her arse into
me, I find her slit. She’s already wet for me, even in her sleep.
My heart pounds as I try not to focus on that not meaning anything
more than her being as desperate for sex as I was last night. I mean, she’d
spent the night watching strippers dancing around Pulse, of course she was
up for it.
“Zach.” The plea for more fires me up. I circle her entrance and dip a
finger inside. She hums in pleasure and I add another digit. “Oh god,” she
whimpers. “I thought I was dreaming.”
“Were you dreaming about me fucking you, Tabby Cat?”
“Uh huh.” She gasps as I hit her magic spot. I wish I could see her face
right now, her flushed cheeks both from what I’m doing and from her
admission.
“What was I doing to you?”
“Eating me,” she moans. My mouth waters, wishing that I was doing
exactly that right now, knowing that she tastes like pure fucking heaven.
“You want me to?”
She shakes her head and I refuse to acknowledge the disappointment
that sits heavy in my stomach at the rejection. “No. I want your cock. I want
it as deep in me as it’ll go. Make me scream, Zach. Make me feel it for
days.”
Fuck. My. Life. How’s a guy meant to say no to that?
“You’re a dirty little bitch, aren’t you, Kitten.”
“Zach, please.”
Wrapping my fingers around her hip, I pull her body to a better angle
and fist my cock, stealing myself for the sensation that’s about to zap every
one of my senses when we connect.
Sucking in a breath, I find her entrance and slide in, pulling her back
until I’m as deep as possible in this position.
 My fingers dig into her skin as I pick up pace. It’s hard enough to leave
bruises, but I can’t find it in me to care as I thrust into her slick pussy. It’s
like warm velvet. So fucking good.
“More, Zach. Need more.”
“Hold on, you’re getting on top.”
I manage to roll on to my back and pull her over with me. She lifts off
me and I miss the connection immediately, but within seconds she’s sinking
back down on my cock. Her eyes find mine and they hold the same desire
racing through my veins right now.
Surely this time will get her out of my system. I’d hoped one taste
would do it, but I only became more addicted. One fuck didn’t do it either.
But this one… this is it. After this, I’ll be able to walk out of this flat and
put her behind me. My thoughts shatter as she lifts herself up and then
slams back down on me. Her head falls back, making her body arch and
thrusting her tits towards me. Unable to resist, I push myself up on my
hands and suck one and then the other into my mouth.
She cries out my name as I bite down, skirting the perfect line of pain to
increase her pleasure.
“Zach, Zach, fuck,” she chants, getting louder and louder. I know she
said her mate passed out but that was hours ago—she could be one of those
drinkers who wakes up perfectly fine, bright and early the next morning.
Sitting myself up, I take her arse in my hands and help her grind down
on me. I’m insanely deep in her like this, our bodies connected in every
way possible as she wraps her legs around my waist and threads her fingers
into my hair.
“Fuck,” I mutter, slamming my lips down on her to swallow her cries.
As my balls start to draw up, her pussy begins to clamp down around
me. She whimpers and cries into my mouth as our dirty kiss gets even
sloppier and we both race towards our releases.
Her fingers tighten to the point of pain in my hair seconds before she
crashes. She squeezes me so fucking tight that I’ve no choice but to follow
her over the edge. I drop my head into the crook of her neck and bite down
on her skin as my orgasm knocks me for six.
Fuck, this woman. I can’t get enough.
That thought is like a bucket of cold water over my heated skin.
This is bad. Really fucking bad.
 Of all the women I’ve fucked, why’s it got to be this one who gets under
my skin?
“Zach, are you okay?” she asks, obviously sensing the shift in me.
I never spend the night with a woman. I fuck her, get what I came for,
and fuck off the second I’ve dropped the condom into the bin. Jesus fucking
Christ, we didn’t even use protection. No wonder the feeling of her wrapped
around me was so fucking earth-shattering.
“Uh yeah… I just… uh… need to get back.”
I lift her from me and set her down on the mattress. I swing my legs
over the edge and sit up, keeping my back to her. Her stare burns into my
skin, calling me back, but I can’t. I need to get out of here and away from
what she does to me.
Pushing myself from the bed, I pull my boxers and trousers on before
picking up my shoes and leaving the room in search of my t-shirt.
“Zach, don’t leave like this,” she pleads, but I ignore her until I’m
standing in her doorway, about to make my escape.
“This was a mistake. I suggest you start looking for a new job.” Her
gasp of shock practically takes all the air from the room. Forcing my feet to
move, I quietly close her door behind me, hoping like fuck that her friend’s
not awake and about to collar me on the way out.
What I need right now is to escape to my own flat to try to get my
fucked-up head together. I don’t need twenty questions about why I’m here
and where I see my future with her friend.
I laugh at myself. I don’t have a future with a woman, especially not
her. My life is my business. That’s where my focus should be, not worrying
about when I’m next going to get the chance to be inside her again.
The bitter cold of the early morning bites my skin as I step from her
building for the walk of shame. It’s never felt shameful before, and I never
really understood the saying seeing as I was always proud as fuck about my
conquests and feeling relaxed and sated. Right now, I feel anything but that.
If I’m being honest, I’m tenser than when I made the fucking stupid
decision to come here last night. Part of me thought she’d slam the door in
my face, if she even opened it in the first place, but a huge part of me knew
something would happen. The previous times I’d touched her, she was like
putty in my hands. I had no reason to believe that after a night of drinking
in Pulse she would be any different.
 The second I get into my flat, I strip out of my clothes and get myself in
the shower. If I can’t get her out of my head then at least I can get her sweet
scent from my body.
All I can hope is that she took my warning seriously and doesn’t return.
That way I’ll be able to get on with my life like she never happened.

OceanofPDF.com
 19

Tabitha

“T his was a mistake. I suggest you start looking for a new job.”
Tears burn the back of my throat and sting my eyes as his
words repeat over and over in my head. Of all the things that
could have happened when we woke after our marathon sex session last
night, him fucking me once again and then clearly expressing that it never
should have happened and that he didn’t ever want to see me again wasn’t
up there on my list.
His regretting it isn’t a surprise. I knew the second I allowed him in that
I’d regret it, but I was powerless to stop, especially once he had his hands
on me. I might hate the arrogant prick, but even I can’t deny that he’s hot
and got some skills.
I’ve never had a night like that with a man before. This right now
wouldn’t be so bad if the sex was terrible, but it fucking wasn’t. It was
amazing. Even as I think about it my pussy clenches to feel him stretching
me open again.
Sorry, not happening.
Refusing to allow myself to cry over Zach fucking Abbot, I get myself
out of bed. The sun has barely started rising so I’m not surprised when I
look at the clock to find it’s barely seven AM.
 With a sigh, I plod through to my en suite. At least I had the foresight to
drink some water last night so I’ve only got a slight twinge in my temples
from the amount of alcohol we packed away.
Christ, was that only last night? As I sit on the toilet, I cast my mind
back to the events of the night before. Of Summer and Diane’s horrified
faces when they discovered where Danni had sent us, and then Summer’s
pure terror when she was expected to go up on stage. If I hadn’t offered,
would Zach have seen me? Would this whole disaster have never
happened? Is the whole thing my fault because I was helping his soon-to-be
sister-in-law out?
A bitter laugh falls from my lips. At least I feel less guilty about lying to
him now if he’s going to continue to be the wanker I always thought him to
be. I never had a look in where Zach and his idiot friends were concerned at
school. I was too boring, too dull, too quiet to even feature on their radar.
Maybe it’s just the way it’s meant to be that he got a taste of me after all
this time, seeing as he seemed to make it his school mission to bed as many
girls as possible. He just doesn’t know he’s knocked another off almost a
decade later.
I have the longest shower in history as I try to wash the memories of last
night away, although every time I move I’m reminded of every single thing
he did to me. My muscles pull and my pussy is sore from the pounding it
took after months of celibacy.
I eventually emerge from my room wearing an oversized jumper, which
is so big that it hangs off one of my shoulders, that I stole from one of the
previous guys I was seeing but never returned, and a pair of hot pants. I’m
just about to walk out of my room when something silver on my bedside
table catches my eye. Walking over, I find it’s the dog tag that Zach had
around his neck last night.
Picking it up, I turn the piece of metal over. Jonathon Wilson. I know
that name. It was one of his best mates at school. I’ve no idea what
happened to him. Looking at this, I guess he joined the military at some
point. Why would Zach be wearing it?
Without the caffeine I need, my brain doesn’t fire correctly so I place it
back down and head out to the kitchen. I’ll worry about it later.
I’m standing at the coffee machine, wishing that it went faster, when a
door cracking open startles me. I’d forgotten she was here.
 Guilt hits me in waves, threatening to buckle my knees. What was I
thinking last night? She could have come out when we were kissing. She
could have heard banging in my room and walked in to check I was okay.
She could have discovered that I’ve been lying to her since starting my new
job.
Fuck. I rest back against the counter in an attempt to hold myself up.
She looks rough. Maybe I was right last night and there was a very slim
chance of her ever emerging.
I tell myself that, after we’ve both had some caffeine, I’ll confess.
“Morning,” I sing, much more cheerfully than I feel. “How are you
feeling?”
“Fuck. Off,” she grunts, making me laugh. She gets to the coffee
machine right as my cup’s finished brewing and swipes it from under the
spout.
“Hey, that’s mine.”
“I need it more,” she counters, carrying it over to my sofa.
“Don’t you want milk?” I ask, knowing it’s how she usually has it.
“No.” I watch as she curls herself in the corner and hugs the mug in her
hands. I think some might say that’s karma for what she did to poor
Summer last night.
I make myself a drink and head over to join her.
We’re both silent as we sip at our too-hot coffees, desperate for the hit
they’re going to give us. I try to come up with the right words to say to
explain that I know more about her brother than she does, but every time I
open my mouth to say any of them, they die on my tongue.
His words might have seriously hurt this morning, but still, I don’t feel
right spilling his secret to Danni. Fucked up, I know, but I can’t help it.
“So, last night was fun,” I eventually say, steering well clear of anything
involving my late night activities.
“You think Summer hates me?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’ll understand that you were just trying to
allow her to go crazy.”
“I knew it wasn’t really her thing, but I wanted to push her a little. Make
her step out of the comfort zone she and my brother live in on a daily
basis,” she explains.
“I get it, Dan. But maybe you should have at least warned her. You saw
what she was wearing, she had no clue what was about to hit her.”
 Danni chuckles. “I know, right. Did you see the look on my mum’s face
when the stripper came over and waved his cock in front of all of us? I
thought we were going to have to ring an ambulance. You reckon that she’s
only been with my dad?”
“They were together young, so I’d be tempted to say yes.”
“Can you imagine that? Only being with one man. Only experiencing
one cock.”
“I’m sure it’s got its benefits,” I mutter, thinking of how much being
rejected sucks even if it is by a one-night stand.
“Meh, your twenties are time for oat sewing. I’m all for testing out the
market before choosing my prime cut.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’ve not exactly been tasting the goods
recently.”
“Don’t remind me,” she groans, leaning forward to put her empty mug
down and pulling her phone from her pocket. “I have got back to online
dating though. Got a couple of hopefuls I’m chatting to right now.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s see.”
Taking pity on her, I move to slide up next to her on the sofa.
“Oh he’s hot,” I say when she shows me the first picture. He looks just
her type. Perfectly put together, in a suit, slick, styled hair. The kind of man
my parents would love to see on my arm.
“Right? He’s so sweet too, and so funny. I think I might suggest we
meet soon.”
“What does he do for a living?”
“Banking, I think.”
“You think?”
“We’ve not really got down to the nitty gritty of boring stuff yet.”
I don’t argue with her, but I can’t help remembering how many times
she’s told me that a man’s job is vital when it comes to dating. She doesn’t
mean it in a pretentious, he-must-have-a-good-job-and-loads-of-money
way, more that he needs to be motivated and hard working. I understand
that and must admit that I share the sentiment.
“Ohhhh.” She suddenly sits up straighter as an idea hits her. “I should
invite him to the wedding, and you can invite your sexy stripper. Has he
rang yet? He was proper keen.” She elbows me as that part of last night
comes back to me. I’d pushed it from my mind the second I’d walked away
from Christian, and Zach most definitely shattered any memory of any
other guy the moment he kissed me.
“I’m not inviting a stripper to a wedding, Dan. I can’t imagine it’s his
idea of a perfect first date, can you?”
“I don’t know. It’s an open bar and free food. It could be worse.” She’s
got a point, but I still don’t like the idea.
“I’ll message Carter now, see how he feels about it.”
“Maybe you should invite him for a drink or something first. If you
can’t stand him in real life it’ll ruin the wedding.”
“Good idea. Go on then. You too.”
“Oh… um… I gave him my number, remember? I have to wait for
him.”
She nods, her nose stuck in her own screen, smiling to herself as she
asks this guy out.
“I’ll order breakfast. What do you fancy?”
My mind goes straight in the gutter, thinking that a re-run of my time
with Zach is exactly what I fancy. Instead, I mutter, “Pancakes?”
“Ummm… yes.” She taps about on her phone before exclaiming that
they’ll be here in thirty minutes and that she needs more coffee.
I get up to grab us both a refill, and it’s not until I sit back down next to
her that she properly looks at me.
Her eyes focus on my neck, and her eyes narrow. My heart begins to
race at what’s she’s found, my palms getting sweaty under her scrutiny.
“Did I miss something last night?” She tilts her head to the side like a little
puppy waiting for an answer.
Lifting my hand, I cover the bit of skin she’s staring at.
“Umm…” My cheeks flush. I’m unable to stop them as I picture our
bodies rolling around my bed while she was sleeping on the other side of
the wall. This would be the perfect time to admit the truth. But when I
speak, very different words come out. “I… uh… had a moment with some
guy last night.”
Her eyes go so wide I swear they might pop out. “Oh my god. Was it
him? Please tell me it was him. The tension as he danced for you was
fucking electric. Is that why he wanted your number so badly?”
I feel fucking awful, but the lie falls from my tongue too easily. “Yeah.”
Danni squeals, making me wince, and claps her hands in front of her in
excitement while I die slightly inside. I never lie. Okay, so I may stretch the
truth to my parents from time to time, but I don’t lie. Especially not to my
best friend.
The pancakes are incredible, but they’re not enough to make me forget.
Danni doesn’t miss the torment on my face, because before she gets up to
leave, she suggests organising a night out with the guys after the wedding, I
think in the hope it’ll cheer me up a little. I agree, because I always want to
spend time with our friends and it seems to get harder and harder to get
everyone together these days.
As the day passes, Danni bids me farewell and the time creeps around to
when I should start getting ready for work. The butterflies and dread I felt
this morning only get worse. Did he really mean what he said before he left,
or was it just a spur of the moment comment?
There’s only one way to find out, I guess, and that’s to turn up. He
should know that one barked order isn’t going to get rid of me. If I were
that weak, I never would have returned after our first encounter. One thing’s
for sure when it comes to what Zach thinks about me, and that’s that he
underestimates me at every turn. He’s not going to get rid of me that easily.
I love my job at his studio, and I love the guys. So what, he’s a dick? I’m
sure we can learn to tolerate each other. Falling back into bed with him
shouldn’t be an issue, seeing as he regretted it so much after the event.
I’m halfway to work when my phone rings. Part of me expects it to be
him making sure I’m not going to turn up, but when I eventually manage to
juggle the coffees in my hand and pull my phone out, and find an unknown
number staring back at me, my stomach drops. It can only be one person.
“Hello?” I ask hesitantly.
“Hey, Biff?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Christian, from the bar the other week and then the uh… club last
night,” he says like I might need the reminder of the most embarrassing
night of my life.
“Oh, hey. How’s it going?”
“Good, good. I… uh… wondered if you fancied grabbing a drink one
night this week.”
“Um…” I want to say no, but then the image of Zach walking away
from me this morning pops into my head and a plan starts forming, causing
the nerves fluttering in my belly to turn to excitement. He might want to
play dirty, but he doesn’t realise just who he’s playing with. “Yeah, that
sounds great. Monday to Wednesday would be best for me as I work the
other nights.”
“How about Tuesday?”
“Can you text me with a place? I’m just about to start work.”
“Yeah, no worries.”
I come to a stop outside Rebel Ink and spot Zach’s blonde hair flash
through reception and disappear towards his room. My next words are out
of my mouth before I even really think of the consequences.
“I know this is a bit forward, and you’re probably busy but…” I suck in
a breath before just going for it. “I’ve got a wedding to go to next weekend
and I could really do with a date. Do you fancy it? I mean, if you’re free.
It’s got an open bar and five-star food,” I ramble on, feeling like an idiot
and not realising that he’s laughing at me down the line.
“That sounds great. I’d love to.”
“Okay, great. It’s Saturday afternoon into evening, but I can give you all
the details on Tuesday.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” I can practically hear his smile down the
phone.
“Yeah… uh… me too.” I hang up before he has a chance to ask why I
don’t sound quite as enthusiastic as him.
I could have just made the stupidest move ever. But it’s too late now.
I push the door open with my butt, not allowing myself to think about
what I’ve just done, and I instead set about delivering the guys’ first coffee
of the night.
“Here she is, our guardian fucking angel,” Titch announces,
successfully making the others emerge who eagerly accept the coffees I
hand them. “Uh oh, there’s only four. That mean boss man pissed you off?”
“Something like that,” a deep voice booms. I was too distracted by the
others to notice his door open.
My heart jumps into my throat, but I refuse to turn and look into his
eyes. I don’t need him to see how much he hurt me by walking away like he
did this morning.
“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you today, Tabitha.” His voice is cold,
unlike I’ve ever heard it before, and it makes a shiver run down my back
and tears burn my eyes.
“Well… someone needs to keep these animals in line, eh?” With that
said, I march back towards reception, drop my bag on my desk and race to
the safety of the kitchen. Pushing the door to behind me, I blow out a
breath. I need to be stronger than this. Just the sound of his voice shouldn’t
almost reduce me to tears. I need to show him that no matter what he says,
what he threatens, he doesn’t affect me.
Once I feel like I’ve got myself together, I hop up on one of the bar
stools and sip my coffee in peace. We’ve got ten minutes until the open sign
lights up, and I get the feeling I’m going to need every ounce of strength I
possess to get through this shift.
I’m just about to get up to throw my cup in the bin when the door’s
pushed open. I hold my breath as I wait to find out who it is that’s come to
find me.
Turning to the sink quickly, I attempt to make it look like I’m busy.
“Stop pretending to wash up,” he barks, making every muscle in my
body tense. He moves around the room. My body is so hyperaware of his
that I don’t even need to look to know exactly where he stops.
“You’ve got something of mine.” The fact that it’s a statement rather
than a question pisses me off.
“Do I?” I ask innocently, knowing full well that what he wants is
currently sitting in my purse.
“Don’t try to play me, Tabby Cat. Give me back what’s mine, and if
you’re lucky you might get through this shift unscathed, seeing as you
foolishly ignored my suggestion and turned up for it anyway.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get off me,” I screech when
his warm fingers grip my shoulder and force me to spin around so I’m
facing him. He stands so close that I’ve no choice but to look up at him to
keep eye contact. His eyes are dark and angry, his chest is heaving with
frustration. He doesn’t let up on his painful grip even when I try to twist out
of it.
“Where is it?”
I smile at him innocently, and he bares his teeth.
“I’m not fucking joking, Tabitha. Where it is?”
“Tell me why you wear it and I’ll consider it.”
“Fuck you,” he spits, taking a step back and turning before lifting his
hands so his fingers grip his hair.
“You already did, remember? It’s what got us in this mess in the first
place.”
 “Don’t I fucking know it.” He takes a few deep breaths. “Look, that… it
just… it means a lot to me and I’d like it back.”
“Is that you asking nicely?”
His shoulders rise and he drags in a long breath before blowing it back
out. “Please.” The word is said through clenched teeth, but I can’t help but
smile in achievement. “Please can I have it back?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Pushing from the counter he pinned me against,
I walk out into reception. I have every intention of getting it for him the
second I’m at my desk, because he really does seem quite cut up about it,
but there are clients waiting.
I sort them out first. The whole time Zach stands behind me, watching
my every move with steam practically shooting from his ears. For my own
amusement, I make sure I’m extra thorough with each client.
Titch, Spike and D all come out to get their first victims of the day, and
after about ten long minutes we’re once again alone.
“Well?” he asks, stepping up to me. His body heat burns into my side
and his smell seeps into me. For a second I’m unable to function as
memories of last night hit me like a fucking truck. My thighs press together,
my knickers getting damper by the second. Man, he might be an epic prick,
but fuck if I wouldn’t go for another round. “Tabitha?”
“Huh? Yeah?” I look up at him, and the second he looks into my eyes,
he knows. He knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“That good, huh?”
“Yeah, the pancakes I had this morning were pretty fantastic, thanks for
asking.”
“Right. Well…” He gestures towards my handbag.
I pick it up and pull my purse out. I’m just about to unzip the coin
section to grab it when I stop.
“Why do you wear it? It’s not yours.”
“None of your business.”
“It’s clearly important to you. Who’s Jonathon, and why do you have
it?”
“Just hand it over and stop pissing me about, I’ve got work to do.”
“Your client’s not due for thirty minutes,” I counter.
“You think that’s all I do. Sit around waiting for clients. This is my
fucking business. I do everything. Now hand it fucking over so I can go.
I’m fed up of looking at you.” His comment cuts, I can’t deny that, but I try
not to allow it to show on my face.
“What happened to him?”
He looks up to the ceiling as if he’s praying for strength. “He died,
okay? You happy now?” He shoves his hand out towards me once again.
The pain etched onto his face is enough to have me reaching for the dog
tag and pulling it out. He snatches it from me before the chain even leaves
my purse, sending coins scattering across the floor.
“Pick that shit up and get on with your job.” The emotion in his voice is
almost enough to make me follow him to make sure he’s okay, but knowing
that it’s probably the last thing he wants, I force myself to stay where I am
until the slamming of his door reverberates through me.
I’m on my hands and knees, picking up the coins which he managed to
spread far and wide, when the entrance bell goes off.
Glancing up, I see a young girl by the door looking around the place.
She’s dressed simply in black ripped skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and a
vintage looking leather jacket.
“Hi, can I help you?” I ask, climbing to my feet. When her blue eyes
find mine, I can’t help but notice the hesitation in them. It’s a bit like she’s
just realised she’s walked through the wrong door.
“Oh um… I’ve got an appointment.”
“Okay, come over.” As discreetly as I can, I run my eyes over her,
questioning if she’s even old enough to be here. “What’s your name?” I ask
once the computer’s woken up.
“Kassie Fox.”
I find she’s right and that she’s booked in. “Okay, I just need you to fill
this out. If you can pass it back to me when you’re done, I’ll let Zach know
that you’re here.” I swear she tenses at the mention of him. “Is this your
first time here?”
“It is. But I’ve heard good things about the place.”
I nod as she steps away from my desk. “The guys are amazing.”
I keep my eyes on her as she drops her tote bag onto the coffee table and
then shrugs off her jacket. I have a hard time stopping my mouth from
dropping open in shock when she reveals that the t-shirt I thought she was
wearing is actually a vest and that both her arms are already pretty well
inked. When she turns and flicks her hair, I notice that there’s also ink there
too. Okay, so maybe she’s older than she looks, seeing as she’s clearly has
some experience with a tattoo gun.
She fills out the form in only a matter of minutes, and she’s soon
handing it back over to me. I glance down to make sure she’s signed it and
take note of her date of birth. She’s almost twenty. She sure doesn’t look it.
“I’m really, really sorry to ask this. But do you have any ID?”
“I do,” she says like she gets asked it on a daily basis. She pulls her
passport from her bag and passes it over. Her hands tremble as she does so,
making me even more suspicious.
“Fantastic, thank you. I’m sorry to have asked.”
“It’s fine. I’m used to it. Comes with the territory of looking like a pre-
teen.” I glance down at her chest, noting that she’s anything but a pre-teen
in that department.
I smile softly. “You nervous?”
“Yeah. You’d think it would get easier, right?” She laughs as she lifts
her arms and looks at her ink.
“You’ve got more experience than me, that’s for sure. I’ll let Zach know
you’re here. He shouldn’t be too long.”
She takes a seat while I reluctantly push my chair back and head in the
direction of his room.

OceanofPDF.com
 20

Zach

I feel like a fucking pussy but the moment I lifted my hand and found
his dog tag was missing. I felt like I’d lost a part of me. It’s been there
since the day his parents handed it to me at his funeral. I never take it
off, so why I did last night fuck only knows. I do everything with it on,
usually including fucking women. I know he’s gone, he has been for quite a
while now, but with it there, it makes me feel like he’s still a part of this. I
wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for him, I know that for a fact.
Something settles inside me the second I wrap my fingers around the
cold metal. I slip the chain over my head and drop the tag into my shirt. I
almost feel as naked without it as I would if someone were to erase my
tattoos.
I’m just sitting down to go through some emails when there’s a knock at
my door.
“What?” I bark.
I’d spent all morning convincing myself that last night wasn’t as mind-
blowing as I remembered it to be. I told myself it was the alcohol and the
fact I’d managed to bag the girl who hated me. The prize at the end of the
chase. But seeing her again just now after I warned her not to come back,
fuck. She took my fucking breath away.
 She was standing there in her tight as fuck jeans and an oversized
jumper that hid everything she has going on beneath. My cock swelled the
second I saw her, and it fucking pissed me off. She was meant to be out of
my system. I’d fucked her. That was meant to be it. So why was I craving
another taste of her sweet pussy more than I wanted the coffee she’d
forgone bringing me while handing the others theirs?
The door cracks open and her pink hair fills the gap. “Your first client’s
here. Try to be nice. She’s really nervous.”
“I’m always nice.”
An insincere laugh falls from her lips as she turns back. I jump from my
seat and follow her just in time to watch her arse sway as she makes her
way back to her desk. Fuck, that arse. I bite down in the inside of my cheek
as I remember how it felt to sink into her from behind last night. How rosy
her cheek was after I slapped my palm across it.
“Zach? Zach?” My name being repeated eventually drags me from my
thoughts and I look up to find Tabitha staring at me with a frown on her
face and a young girl who looks like she’s about to puke on my shoes.
“You old enough to be here, kid?”
“Uh…” She hesitates. I’m seconds from sending her back to the
playground she came from when Tabitha pipes up that she’s seen ID and
everything’s good.
I nod at Tabitha and take the girl’s form when she hands it to me. I
quickly scan it before taking in her name.
“Right then, Kassie. You ready for this?” She gives me a nervous smile
but collects her jacket and bag and follows me down to my room.
“You look too well inked to be nervous,” I say when I spot her hand
shaking when she lowers her bag to a chair I have in the corner of my room.
“I’m… always like it. Needles,” she adds with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Glutton for punishment, eh?”
“Something like that.”
“Come and take a seat and we’ll go through what it is you looking for.”
“I’ve got a drawing.”
“Okay.” She pulls a piece of paper from her bag and hands it over.
Before me are two beautifully sketched angel wings. “Wow, this is
incredible. You draw it?”
She nods shyly.
 “Don’t be shy about this. You’re really talented.” She beams at my
praise, and for the first time today I actually feel good about myself. “So
where’s it going?”
“On my back. Shoulder blades.”
“Okay, well top off and lie on your front. Let’s see what we’re working
with.”
She immediately does as she’s told and doesn’t bat an eyelid like I’m
sure most girls would at removing their top in front of a stranger. She lies
down and moves her long, dark hair out of the way.
“So who did all these others, seeing as it’s your first time here?”
“Loads of people. Some more talented than others.” I glance down her
arms and see that she’s right. Some could do with a little work to tidy them
up.
“Are you at art school or something?” I ask when the silence stretches
out for a little too long once I’ve set to work.
“Or something,” she mutters. “I’m just doing some bar work right now.”
“Do you want to do more with your art?”
“Maybe. I’ve never really had the opportunity to think about it, let alone
do anything about it.”
“That’s a shame. You don’t want to waste a talent like that.”
She falls silent once again, lost in her own thoughts, and I allow it as I
focus on my own art.
I complete the outlines but come to a stop. Her skin is raw. It’s never
going to cope with me doing all the shading. “I think we need to call it a
day for now. Can you book in for a few weeks’ time? This needs to heal
before I do any more to it.”
“Sure. Can I see?”
“Of course.” She gets up and stands in front of my mirror while I hold
another up for her to see her back. Her breath catches at the sight.
“Happy?”
“Incredibly. You’ve done an amazing job.”
“It’s not finished yet.”
She continues to stare at it in the mirror, totally enthralled by it.
“Is it for anyone special?” She lifts her eyes to mine and they hold for a
few seconds. There’s something within hers that I can’t read, but for some
fucked-up reason I feel like I should be able to.
 Eventually, she shakes her head. I’m not sure if it’s a no to answer my
question or if she just doesn’t want to talk about it.
“T-thank you so much,” she says eventually, reaching for her top.
“Wait. I need to wrap it.”
“Oh, of course. Sorry.”
I quickly finish her off and allow her the escape she’s quite obviously
desperate for the second I’ve finished.
I follow her out of my room and to reception where she books her next
appointment with Tabitha before almost running from the studio.
“What did you do? I thought she’d come out looking less scared, but if
anything she was even more terrified.”
“Me? I only did what she asked.”
“What was that?”
“Some angel wings on her back. I think she’s lost someone. Maybe it
was a little emotional seeing it or something.”
“Whoa, so you do have a little compassion in there somewhere.”
“And to think we almost had some kind of a normal conversation there
for a minute.” She smirks at me. “I’m starving. Get me some lunch. And
none of that vegan shit you tried palming me off with last time. I want meat,
and plenty of it.”
“Didn’t think you played on that side of the field,” she deadpans.
“Fuck off, Tabby Cat. You know full well which way I swing.”
I don’t realise that as I’m saying it Titch emerges with his client.
Thankfully, the client is totally oblivious to what’s going on, but Titch is
anything but. He grins like a Cheshire fucking cat, and as he passes me he
whispers, “You tapped that?”
Growling, I turn my back on all of them and shut myself back in my
room. Fuck knows why I thought it was a good idea to come out here in the
first place.

OceanofPDF.com
 21

Tabitha

T itch was like a dog with a bone after he assumed that Zach and I
had slept together Sunday night. The only thing that managed to get
him off my case about it in the end was telling him all about my
date tonight. The second I said the words, he looked up to where Zach was
most likely still hiding in his room. It was almost as if he knew something I
didn’t, but I wasn’t going to ask. It was clear how Zach felt about the
mistake that was Saturday night, so I decided it was best left in the past. So
what it was the best sex of my life and I felt like we connected in a way I
never have with anyone else? So what if he’s all I can damn well think
about, even if it is because I want to throttle the arrogant motherfucker.
There was never a chance we’d ever be an item, anyway. He’s the bad boy
every girl wants to tame, he always has been, and I’m the good girl who for
all these years managed to stay the hell away. What happened? Oh yeah, I
took my Gran’s advice and decided to be a rebel. Great plan that was,
thanks Gran.
I smirk to myself, pulling out a sketchbook I found in a drawer the other
day when I was feeling restless. I grab a fine liner and just see where it
takes me. I’ve got twenty minutes before my Uber will be here to take me
to the place Christian chose for tonight. My nerves for what the night might
hold has me getting ready long before necessary just to have something to
do. It’s a bar and grill on the other side of town. I’d never heard of it until
he texted the name to me, but having since looked it up online, I’m hoping
it might be a place I return to.
By the time my phone alerts me to my approaching driver, I sit up
straight and stare down at my drawing. It’s a portrait of a guy, with tattoos
obviously, but it’s his back as he walks away. He’s looking over his
shoulder with a pained expression on his face. Well, if that doesn’t tell me
where my head’s at with regards to Zach, then I don’t know what will.
Closing the book, I leave it on my coffee table and slip my feet into my
shoes.
I didn’t want to look like I’d made too much effort tonight, seeing as
I’m not sure I really want this to go anywhere, so after rummaging through
my wardrobe for a good ten minutes, I eventually decided on a simple loose
black blouse over a pair of grey skinny jeans and finished off with some
heavy jewellery and my leather jacket. In an attempt to waste time, I’ve
curled my hair and pulled the front section back from my face.
I look in my hall mirror before leaving the flat, and my heart drops a
little that I’m not going to find Zach waiting for me at the bar.
Giving myself a talking to, I pull the door open and embark on whatever
tonight is going to bring me.

Christian is waiting outside the entrance when I arrive, wearing a black,

long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. I’m glad he’s not made any
more effort than I have. It settles something inside me. Not that he really
needs to dress up. He’s hot, and I already have enough knowledge of his
body to know that what’s hiding beneath those clothes is pretty insane too.
So why doesn’t he give me the butterflies?
“Biff, you look stunning, as always,” he says, reaching for me and
pulling me into him so he can kiss my cheek. A much more gentlemanly
move than any he did on Saturday night, that’s for sure.
“I’m so sorry about the other night,” Christian says with a wince once
we’re shown to our table and handed menus. “It’s not exactly how I usually
tell a woman I’m dating what I do for a living.”
We’re dating?
 “Oh… um… It’s fine. I guess it’s better to have it all out in the open.”
My cheeks flame at my choice of words. “Shit,” I mutter, covering my eyes
with my hand. Could this be any more awkward?
“Still, I hope you enjoyed yourself. I mean, it got you here.” He looks a
little smug as he sits back in his seat and runs his eyes over what he can see
of me.
“Yeah, I mean, you were good, don’t get me wrong, but—”
“But?” he asks, leaning his elbows on the table like I’m about to give
him some serious pointers to up his game.
“It was probably the most mortifying thing I’ve ever experienced. I was
saving the bride-to-be. Trust me when I say it’s not the way I usually spend
my Saturday nights.”
“Good to know that I was your first.” He winks, and I quietly groan,
needing to move on from this mortifying conversation.
“So…” I scramble for something to change the subject to. “I thought
you worked at Ted’s.”
“I do, I pick up shifts there when I have free nights.”
“Oh, okay.” I nod, an awkward silence descending over us. We both
look down at our menus, pretending that it doesn’t exist. Or at least I’m
hoping that’s what he’s doing too.
The waiter thankfully comes over and breaks the weird tension that’s
formed.
“So what is it you do?”
Not really wanting to talk about Rebel Ink or anything to do with Zach,
I focus on the other part of my life. “I’m currently studying for a Masters
degree in fine art.”
“Oh nice, so you can draw? Paint?”
“Yeah, both really. I’m not sure what I’m going to do once it’s finished,
but it’s fun for now. I enjoy it.”
“That’s good. Um…”
I knew I should have turned him down on this date. A little voice inside
me was screaming that it wasn’t going to go well when he rang and asked.
I’m only here because in my head I know it’ll piss Zach off. Not that he
even knows about it. Actually, that’s probably not true because Titch will
have made sure to tell him.
“This wedding on Saturday. You said you were going to give me the
details.”
 “Oh right. I mean, don’t feel like you need to come just because I
mentioned it,” I ramble in the hope he might change his mind.
“I wouldn’t want to leave you without a date. I’ve got no work for
Saturday right now, so your offer is as good as any. Plus you mentioned a
free bar, right?”
“Yep.”
“Tell me more then.”
I rattle off all the details about the hotel the entire day is being held in,
and he agrees that he’ll pick me up so we can travel together. If it weren’t
for knowing that Zach’s going to be there, then I might have told him not to
bother, but my need for revenge keeps me moving forward with the plan.
He needs to know that I know who he is and what secrets he’s keeping.
“I hope they’ve booked a decent DJ. The last few weddings I’ve been to
have been horrendous.”
“Well, actually…” I rattle off the guy’s name that Harrison and Summer
have booked, and Christian’s eyes light up. By the time our dinner comes it
seems we’ve found at least one thing in common: our music taste. That
conversation lasts us through to dessert.
“Do you fancy going to see a band I know? They’re playing down in
Camden tonight.”
If he’d have asked me this during the first thirty minutes of this ‘date’
then I’d have quite adamantly said no, but things have most definitely
turned around so I find myself agreeing and sliding from the booth after he
insists on paying.
Unbelievably, by the time our Uber pulls up outside my building
sometime before two AM, I’ve actually had a really great night with
Christian. The band he took me to see were incredible, and he even
introduced me to them once they’d finished their set and we sat together
drinking until about twenty minutes ago when we called it a night.
“Thanks for tonight. It’s been fun,” I say, looking over to find him
already staring at me. My stomach twists. I hope he’s not expecting an
invite up to my flat. We might have had a good time together, but one
mistake in the bedroom in a week is enough for me.
“It has. So…” he trails off, as if that invite is going to come next.
I ignore the slight disappointment that darkens his eyes when I say
something completely different. “So you’ll pick me up at ten thirty on
Saturday, right?” The service is at eleven thirty, so that should get us there
in plenty of time. Danni has tried convincing me to get a room and stay the
Friday night as well as the Saturday, but the second I discovered I was
working for Zach, I point-blank refused. Saturday night was always going
to be harder to get out of, but as it turns out, I want to be there to watch the
fireworks.
“Oh yeah, right.”
“I’m staying the night at the hotel, sharing with my friend,” I add before
any other idea enters his head. It’s a lie—we have separate rooms booked—
but he doesn’t need to know that. “So you’ll need to get yourself home. Is
that okay? I can pay for your car.”
“Oh no, t-that’s totally fine. I’ll see you Saturday then.” His eyes
bounce between mine and my lips, but I’m not going there. My head’s
already messed up with one man who shouldn’t be up there. I don’t need
two duelling.
I say a goodbye, step from the car and give a little wave. I don’t need
him walking me up to my door, that’s for sure.
I pull my phone from my bag as I climb the stairs. I’d told Danni about
meeting Christian tonight, so I already know I’ve got at least one message
sitting on it, asking how it went and if I got lucky. When I wake it up, I find
I’ve actually got five messages, although when I open them, there’s only
one asking about my date. The other four are inappropriate gifs.
I’m busy replying and digging around in the bottom of my bag for my
keys, so I don’t bother looking up when I get to my flat. I’m very quick to
do so, however, when instead of coming to a stop in front of my door, I
crash straight into a very hard and very warm body.
“Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I
scream, his hands gripping my upper arms to steady me as my phone goes
skidding across the tiled floor, probably shattering into a million pieces. I
narrow my eyes at him, waiting for him to explain himself. My breath
catches at the dark and haunted look in his eyes, but I refuse to say any
more until I know why he’s waiting here for me like a fucking stalker.
I don’t have to wait much longer, because his hand finds the back of my
head and his lips slam down on my own. His tongue is almost instantly in
my mouth, searching out mine and demanding it joins in.
My back hits the doorframe as he takes the keys from my hands and
fumbles about for the lock. At no point does he take his lips from mine, yet
somehow he manages to find the right key and open the door.
 He begins to guide me inside with his hands on my waist and his dark
blue eyes boring down into mine, rendering me speechless and not allowing
me a chance to think properly. He bends down at the last minute and
retrieves my phone from the floor before dropping it into my bag. Then his
focus is purely on me once again.
The front door slams closed as he kicks it shut, both his hands sliding up
my body, pushing my jacket off. It lands on the floor with a thud, and he
continues until his fingers twist in my hair and tug, allowing him the access
to my neck he wants. He bites on the exact spot he did before, and a bolt of
heat heads straight for my core. My stomach summersaults in a way it’s not
done all night while I’ve been with Christian, making it even more obvious
that there’s nothing between us. Nothing like this, anyway.
“Oh god,” I whimper when he palms my breast and pinches my nipple
through the fabric.
My breaths come out in needy pants as his hands roam, desperate to
find some skin. He backs us into the kitchen, and as my back hits the
counter, his fingers slip under my blouse, finding the heated skin of my
stomach.
“Arms up,” he groans in my ears, and I’m powerless but to do as he
says.
The fabric is gone and on the floor in a flash, as is my bra not a second
later. My breasts are heavy as they’re released, but he takes their weight,
sucking one nipple and then the other into his mouth, his eyes on mine the
entire time.
I somehow manage to find some sense in all this madness. “We
shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be here.”
“And you shouldn’t have been on a date.” His lips trail down my
stomach until he’s on his haunches in front of me. He makes quick work of
popping open my jeans and pulling both them and my knickers off my legs.
My shoes come off too and drop to the floor with a bang.
“Fuck, I need you on my tongue.”
“Oh god. Oh god,” I chant as he runs his finger through my wetness.
“I think we’ve already determined that I’m not him.”
“T-that’s right, You’re… you’re the fucking devil.”
The smirk he graces me with tells me that he fucking loves it too.
“Tell me, Kitten. Was it him that made you this wet? Or was it me?”
 The temptation to lie is high, but when I open my mouth the truth falls
out. “You. Only you.”
“Right answer, Pussy Cat.”
He lifts me so I’m sitting on my counter. The cold marble bites into my
arse, but the warmth of his hands brushing down my thighs is a welcome
distraction.
“Lie back.” I do as he instructs and wince when my back hits the cold.
He parts my legs and blows a stream of air against my exposed centre. I
shudder from that alone.
“It’s only been three days, Kitten. You that desperate for me already?”
“Zach, please,” I beg, desperate to feel him against me once again. “I
need your mouth on me now.” A part of me thinks he’s just come to punish
me and that he’ll leave without ever really touching me, but thankfully I’m
wrong because the tip of his tongue connects with me and I cry out in
delight as his teeth graze over my clit.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I cry, my hands finding his hair and dragging him
closer.
He eats at me like a man possessed, licking, sucking and biting like he’s
been starved of me. My back arches against the counter as I get closer and
closer to my release.
Sliding two fingers deep inside me, he stretches me open and finds my
g-spot. He teases it relentlessly with his fingertips while assaulting my clit
with his tongue and teeth. In seconds I’m racing towards the light as it
begins to flash behind my eyes.
“Zach, fuck. Zach, Zach, Zach,” I cry, my release crashing into me,
halting my breaths and pulling every single one of my muscles tight as I fly.
“Fuuuuuuk,” I groan as my body convulses beneath his touch.
My skin’s covered in a sheen of sweat and my lungs push out ragged
breaths as I come down from the high. Wiping his mouth with the back of
his hand, Zach stands, a smug as fuck smirk on his face, but I’m so dazed
that I don’t give about shit how proud he is right now. All I know is that I
need more. That might have been earth-shattering, but it was only the
starter. I can see that in his eyes.
His hands go to his fly and in seconds he’s got his hard cock in his hand.
He strokes a few times, the muscles in his neck straining with his need to
push inside me. The sight of how much he needs me right now makes me
feel more empowered than I think I ever have.
 I bite down on my bottom lip as I watch him, wondering what’s keeping
him.
“What’s wrong? Changed your mind?” I tilt my head to the side,
taunting him. He’s standing there fully dressed while I’m stripped bare on
my kitchen worktop, yet right now I feel like the one with all the power.
“Never.” He thrusts forward and fills me. I cry out at the invasion and
he stills to give me a second before dragging my arse over the edge of the
counter, pulling almost all the way out, and slamming back into me.
He’s so deep. So fucking deep it makes my head spin.
“Fuck,” he grunts, feeling it too.
His fingers dig into the flesh of my arse, and the sting of pain tells me
that I’ll have his prints bruised there in the morning. A reminder of yet
another mistake when it comes to this infuriating man between my legs.
Sweat beads his brow as he continues to fuck me into oblivion. The
finesse he showed the other night has long gone. He’s just a frenzy of
thrusts and grunts as he pushes us both towards the releases we need.
“Come, Kitten,” he demands. “Come. Now.” My muscles contract on
cue as he roars his release, his cock twitching deep inside me, leaving me
full of his seed.
Almost immediately he pulls out of me and slides my body so my arse
is back on the counter. His palms land either side of my thighs and he hangs
his head, his eyes squeezed shut tightly.
“Zach?” I ask softly, running my fingers through the hair that’s fallen
onto his brow.
“Don’t,” he barks, backing away and looking anywhere but at me.
“Zach,” I warn, knowing what’s about to happen but ready to beg it
doesn’t, even though I know it’s probably the wrong thing to do.
“You’re mine, Pussy Cat. You need to remember that.” With that
warning hanging heavy in the air, he storms from my flat.
The slam from the door makes my body jolt. Pushing myself up, I look
around, trying to make sense of what just happened.
He knew I had a date. He waited for me to get home and fucked me like
an animal, claiming that I’m his, yet he doesn’t want me. Not really.
I sit there for the longest time in a puddle of our own making before I
eventually drag my aching body towards my shower to once again wash the
scent of him from my skin.
OceanofPDF.com
 22

Zach

T itch delighted in telling me all about the fact that Tabitha had a
date. He grinned like a fucking Cheshire cat the entire time while
my jaw popped with frustration. I had no idea who the fucker was
she was going out with, but the idea of anyone putting their hands on what’s
mine very nearly sent me over the edge.
It’s how it should be. I knew that, but it didn’t stop my imagination
running on overdrive since the second he gave me all the details. I’m not
sure what he was hoping to achieve by telling me the time and place they
were meeting, but if it was for me to turn up and publicly claim her then he
was going to be bitterly disappointed because that wasn’t fucking
happening. Or at least I didn’t think it was.
Thankfully, I guess, I get a text from my brother Tuesday morning
which means at least I won’t be sitting around like a moron while she’s on
her date, driving myself insane wondering how they’re getting on and if
he’s going to satisfy her quite like I did.

Harrison: Mum + Dad’s tonight. Suit to try on. Be there. No excuses.

 Rolling my eyes at the phone, I send a back a quick reply saying that I’ll
be there and slide it back into my pocket. I’ve only got one client booked in
today. He’s coming in for his second session on an intricate back piece that
we’ve been working towards for some time, so at least I know I’ll be able to
focus on that all afternoon and not my impending family time, and certainly
not her and her date.
Before I know it, I’m pushing through Mum and Dad’s front door and
making my way down towards the kitchen where I already know everyone
will be.
“Whoa, you were right, he is still alive,” Dad says with a laugh when he
spots me first.
“I’m sure you’d have heard if I weren’t.” He pulls me into a man hug
and slaps me on the back. I’m kind of embarrassed by the fact that I’ve no
idea when I was last here. All I know is that it’s probably been too long
seeing as they’re really pretty great parents. It’s my fucked-up issues that
keep me away.
Mum leaves whatever she’s stirring on the stove and comes over to hug
me. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers in my ear, making my guilt over not
visiting quadruple.
Dad hands me a beer and I pull out a stool from under the breakfast bar.
“Have you sorted a date for the wedding yet? Summer needs her name.”
I roll my eyes as Mum turns her back to the dinner. Of course I’ve not
got a date. I only said I’d bring a plus one to shut her up about me needing
to settle down.
“I’ve got a couple of options.” Dad almost chokes on his beer.
He pats me on the shoulder as he comes to sit beside me. “So what have
you been up to? Where have you been?” Dad starts like they do every time I
appear after a long absence.
“Just here and there. Spent some time in America a few weeks ago. Not
much to tell really.” It’s a lie, obviously, and like most times I’m here the
truth is right on the tip of my tongue. But I can’t help feeling that I’ve kept
everything hidden for so long now that confessing everything will hurt them
more, knowing that I felt like I couldn’t confide in them from the
beginning.
Thankfully, Harrison, Summer, and my niece and nephew arrive before
Mum and Dad really get a chance to start digging. After a short and sharp
welcome from my brother and a hug from my soon-to-be sister-in-law,
Harrison thrusts a suit bag into my hands and all but drags me up the stairs
so I can make sure it fits. I rustle both Alfie and Cass’ hair as I pass them,
much to their irritation.
He drops down onto the bed in my childhood room after following me
inside and crosses his arms. As usual he’s dressed in one of his flashy suits,
making the differences between us as stark as ever with me in a ripped pair
of stonewash jeans and a black t-shirt with my ink on display. His dark hair
is perfectly styled and swept back from his freshly shaven face, whereas my
blonde mop is a mess and I’ve not shaved in at least two days.
“Nice of you to show your face for this,” he barks, his eyes holding
mine.
“I’m not going to miss your wedding.”
“Forgive me for not having all that much confidence after you bailed on
my stag.”
“It was golf,” I groan, stripping off and pulling on the insanely
expensive suit I’m being forced to wear to this thing. I hate suits. I hate how
restrictive they are, and I hate how boring they are, although the hot pink
lining this one is sporting does give it a bit of character, I must admit.
It fits perfectly—unsurprisingly as it’s been tailored for me. My
measurements were requested weeks ago so I had little doubt it wouldn’t fit.
“It okay?”
“As far as a suit goes, it’s great, I guess.”
“Can you be at least a little excited about this? I don’t want your
miserable fucking face in our photographs.”
“I’ll smile, I promise,” I mutter, giving him a flash of the fakest one I
can muster.
“Such a pain in the arse.” He pushes from the bed. “I know this is going
to fall on deaf ears, but for the love of god, will you visit Mum and Dad a
little more often? They worry about you.”
“They don’t need to.”
“They’re our parents, Zach. It’s their job. You’ll understand when you
have your own.”
“Yeah, that’s not happening.”
“You can’t be a fucking nomad forever.”
“I’m not. I have a home and a life. None of which involve me having
kids.”
“You say that now. Just wait until you meet the one.”
 “Are you even listening to me?”
He stops at the doorway, looks back over his shoulder and laughs. “Oh,
I’m listening. You’re just forgetting who the oldest and more experienced
out of us is. It will happen, Zach. And she’ll knock you on your fucking
arse, mate.” With that, he leaves me to remove the damn suit from my body.
I avoid the adults when I eventually head back down in favour of
discovering what Alfie’s playing on the PlayStation set up in the family
room.
Falling down beside him, I watch him race his Audi around the track a
few times before he spins it.
“Let the master have a go.”
After changing the settings so it’s two player, he hands me a controller
and off we go.
“How’s it going, Cass?” I ask my niece who’s sitting on the other sofa
with her head stuck in her phone.
“Fine.”
I nod, taking Alfie out on a corner. “How’s school?”
“Boring.”
“Looking forward to the wedding?”
She groans. “I guess.”
“Wow, I do love our stimulating conversations.” This gets her eyes on
me. Not that I’m paying that much attention seeing as I’m winning, but I
feel them drilling into the side of my head.
“Well maybe if you were around a little more you’d already know the
answers.” Her footsteps sound out on the polished oak flooring before she
storms from the room.
“Smooth,” Alfie chuckles.
“You got something to say too?”
“Nope, you do what you gotta do.”
I smile to myself. At least someone under this roof gets me. Even if he
is a teenager.
Dinner is tolerable at best, but once Danni arrives and blends in with the
rest of the family, I again feel like the outsider as they all sit and discuss the
family business and mention people I’ve never heard of. I know that I bring
a lot of this on myself by being distant, but I couldn’t imagine anything
worse than spending my days working with antiques.
 I eat, I drink, I make a few noises at the right time, and then the second
I’m able to escape I do with the promise of seeing everyone Friday night at
the hotel where the wedding is being held. I tried to tell them all that I’m
not needed until Saturday morning, but Mum got this look on her face, her
bottom lip trembled, and her eyes watered, and I knew that I didn’t stand a
chance.
My intention is to go straight home. The Uber I ordered drops me at the
studio. It would be so easy to let myself in and go up to my flat, but that’s
the opposite of what happens. Instead I head to a bar in the hope of
drowning my sorrows.
One whisky soon turns into a few more, and eventually I find myself
surrounded by the guys as we all shoot the shit and get off-our-arses drunk.
I spot Titch looking at me inquisitively a number of times, but thankfully at
no point does he even mutter her name. I’m grateful because I might be
trying to play it cool, but the reality is that I’m picturing her taking him
back to her flat. I’m imagining just how he might touch her, how he’ll make
her feel.
When my frustration gets the better of me, I knock back my current
drink and stand from the seat I’m in.
“I’m done. Laters.”
My name’s called a few times behind me at my sudden departure, but I
ignore them all. I’ve got a destination in mind, and no fucker is going to
talk me down right now.
The walk to her place is short, and in no time I’m slipping my way into
her building and hammering my fist on her door in an attempt to break up
whatever’s happening inside.
I guess you could say I’m lucky that no one’s home. At least if she’s
gone back to his then I can’t continue to keep picturing them in her
bedroom.
Not knowing what to do, I slide my arse down the wall and rest my
head back. I only intend to stay there for a few minutes before making the
journey home but it’s only a few seconds later that the sound of her heels
click up the stairs. I could jump in the lift and disappear before she sees me
but that’s the opposite of what I do.
The relief I feel when she appears and I discover she’s alone is greater
than I’ll ever admit. The sight of her all dressed up and swaying slightly
after a long night stirs something inside, and it’s strong enough to ensure I
stay exactly where I am and take what I came here for. Her.
I step up to her and I’m no longer in control of my actions. My need,
my desire for the woman takes over everything, and it’s not until she’s
crying out my name and pulsating around my cock impossibly tightly that
my senses start to slip back in.
Fuck.
My heart pounds erratically in my chest as I pull out and step back from
her. She’s laid out on her kitchen counter, looking every bit the seductress
she is, and I panic.
My need to take her in my arms and carry her to bed so we can continue
is almost all-consuming, but I know I can’t. This woman isn’t mine. She
can’t be mine. We’re wrong on so many levels and spending this evening
with my family is just a reminder of everything I don’t want. Yet I can’t
help myself when it comes to Tabitha.
I intend on walking out without saying a word, but as I step back a
warning falls from my lips which I fear gives too much away about how
I’m feeling. There’s no fucking way I’m sticking around to find out though.
The faster I get away the better.

The rest of the week is fucking torture, and it only gets worse Thursday
night knowing that she’s out at the reception desk and almost within
touching distance. It would be so easy to go out there and take her, to tell
her the things that have been running through my head the last two days
that involve things I never, ever thought I’d think, let alone ever consider
saying aloud. If it weren’t for this bloody wedding, I’d have fucked off by
now, not able to cope with everything that’s building inside me. I’m going
to blow at some point. The only question is when.

OceanofPDF.com
 23

Tabitha

I knew I only had to put up with him for one night at work. I was fully
aware he was spending from Friday lunchtime at the hotel for the
rehearsal and family meal, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a nervous
wreck walking into the studio Thursday afternoon. I’d heard nothing from
him, not that I was really expecting to. But the warning he gave before
walking out of my flat is still on repeat in my head, and something kept
telling me that he’d be back or get in touch. As it is, it’s been radio silence.
I hate to admit it, but it’s driving me crazy. Every time I hear someone walk
down the hallway outside my front door, my heart jumps into my chest
thinking it’s him. Every time there’s a creak or a bang I assume it’s him
somehow letting himself in. But nothing. No contact, no visits.
I’ve no idea what to expect tonight. He’s been so hard to predict this far,
so who knows what side of Zach Abbot I’m going to get. I can only hope
it’s not the arsehole, although I can’t help thinking that him being a
knobhead will help convince my body that we don’t need him.
As it turns out, I see him once all night. He appears from his room at
some point towards the end of my shift to use the toilet, and that’s the only
time he emerges. Equally, I don’t bother delivering him any food or drinks,
assuming that if he wanted something he would ask.
 I might hear the door open, but I don’t need to. I can feel the second his
eyes land on me. My skin burns and something beneath begins to tingle.
He’s not even in touching distance and it’s like he has total control of my
body.
I fight the pull, but eventually it gets too much and I’m forced to look
up. Only, when I do look to where I know he is, he’s moved and has his
back to me as he walks away.
My stomach drops at not being able to look into his eyes and know how
he’s feeling. I need to know if this thing between us is driving him as insane
as it is me.
My entire life I’ve wanted to stay as far away from guys like Zach as
possible, but right now, he’s consuming every moment of my life. It doesn’t
matter if it’s day or night, he’s there in my head, taunting me, teasing me,
reminding me of just how electric we are together.
I let out a sigh as he disappears behind the door to the bathroom and
drag myself to the kitchen so I’m not still sitting there when he comes out. I
don’t want him to think he’s having any effect on me or that his cold
shoulder isn’t making me scheme up ways to get us alone just so I can get
what my body’s craving.
As frustrating as Thursday night is knowing that he’s only the other side
of the wall, it’s got nothing on Friday night. The studio without him is just
wrong. The second I step into the building it’s like there’s something
missing. I know we might avoid each other on the best of days, but even
still, his presence is here. But today the place just feels cold. It’s not helped
that it’s also an unusually quiet night, so my hours drag. I end up pulling my
sketchpad from my bag and mindlessly doodling when I find myself unable
to focus on any meaningful task.
“Damn, Biff baby. I think you’re sitting in the wrong room with skills
like that.” I slam my book closed at hearing Titch’s voice behind me. I was
so lost in my own head that I didn’t hear or see him appear from his room.
“It’s nothing,” I wave off, pushing the book away from me and waking
up the computer.
“That was not nothing. Let me look.”
“Really, I was just messing about. I’m away with the fairies tonight, I
can’t seem to get my head on straight.”
“Aw, you missing him already?”
“Um… what?” I splutter.
 “Oh, come off it. You think I can’t see that you want him as bad as he
does you. I’m still trying to get to the bottom of if you’ve already bumped
uglies. Zach won’t tell me fuck all. But you… you seem much more…
open. Up for a bit of gossip if you will,” he says with a smirk as he rests his
arse against the edge of the desk beside me. His eyes bore into mine as I
look up at him.
“Haven’t you got some work to do?”
“Yeah… detective work.”
I can’t help but chuckle when he wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“There’s nothing to tell,” I lie. “I hate him. He hates me. End of.”
“Titch, stop giving the girl grief. You piss her off and she might cut all
of us off the coffee deliveries like she has the boss,” Spike says, walking
through with a handful of mugs.
“Nah, man. She loves me too much to cut me off, right, Biff baby?”
“I wouldn’t use those words exactly,” I mutter as I smile at Spike in a
way of a thanking him for rescuing me from Titch’s incessant questions.
Thankfully, the phone starts ringing on the desk. I turn my back on both
the guys and lift it to my ear.
“Good evening, Rebel Ink. How can I help?”
“Hey, Biff, it’s Corey. Big Man in tonight?”
“Sorry, no. He’s at his brothers’ wedding.”
“Damn, that come around already? Shit,” he says. I’ve only spoken to
Corey a few times but he seems like a decent guy. He must be if Zach trusts
him enough to set him up a studio in LA of all places.
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” I mutter.
“He still giving you grief?”
“Um…” I pause, wondering if I’d given him an inkling in the past that
we don’t get on. “What makes you say that?”
“Shit, er… nothing. Listen, I’ve gotta go. Client just walked in. I’ll try
him again after the weekend. I’m sure he’s in his element right now, I’d
hate to interrupt.” He laughs, proving that he knows Zach pretty well
because I’d put money on him hating every minute of this weekend.
“Okay, no worries. If I can do anything to help, I’m here,” I offer in
case it’s of any use.
“Cheers, Biff, but I think you’ve already got your hands full over there.”
By the time I hang up, I’m alone again. Letting out a sigh, I drag my
sketchbook back over and attempt to drown out the silence with the pen
hitting the paper.

I barely get a wink of sleep as I toss and turn, trying to imagine what
tomorrow might bring. By the time I drag my arse out of bed at the crack of
dawn to get to the salon, I’ve pretty much decided that I’m going to cancel
on Christian. I know it’s last minute and it’s a dick move, but I’m not sure I
can go through with it.
I pull on a pair of leggings and a jumper dress before leaving the flat.
It’s a cold morning, but the sky is a stunning clear blue and a smile creeps
on to my lips knowing that Summer will wake up this morning to weather
she could only dream of for her big day.
I’m the first at the salon—no surprise there, seeing as it’s seven AM on
a Saturday morning. I’m booked in for the full works so I look like I’m
prepared for the day on the outside, even if my insides are a fucking mess.
“Coffee?” Alice, my hairdresser, asks the second I step through the
door.
“Do you even need to ask?” She laughs as she heads out back to make
me one.
I take a seat at the chair she’s pulled out for me and let my hair down
from the messy bun I shoved it in when I got up.
“So, all ready for the big day?” she asks, placing the mug on the shelf
and running her fingers through my hair.
“Can I get your opinion on something?” I don’t know why I ask, it’s not
like I want to talk about it… about him, but the words fall from my lips
nonetheless.
“Shoot.” I’ve known Alice for years. This was the first salon I walked
into after the one my mum took me to all my life refused to do something as
simple as put some highlights through my hair. Much to my mum’s horror, I
got up and walked out. I found this place not ten minutes later and Alice
happened to have a free slot. The rest, as they say, is history. Although
we’ve never spent any time together outside of this salon, I consider us to
be friends, and seeing as she’s not really involved in my life, per se, I
consider her opinion to be impartial.
 I explain all while she twists and twirls my hair. I sent her some images
a few days ago but really, as long as it looks pretty and works with the
fascinator I bought, I’m not all that bothered what she does. I trust her.
“So your best friend has no idea you’re slamming her brother?”
I groan. “Do you need to say it so bluntly?”
“Just checking I’ve got all my facts straight,” she says with an innocent
smile that makes me roll my eyes.
“So do I cancel on my date?”
She blows out a breath and slides a few more grips into place. “I want to
say yes because he’s no idea what he’s about to walk into and there’s a good
chance he doesn’t deserve it, but man, Zach sounds like he needs to be
taught a lesson, and turning up today with a hot date on your arm could be
exactly what he needs.”
“But he’s also going to find out I’ve been lying. What the hell have I
been thinking?” I drop my head into my hands, forcing Alice to release a
lock of my hair. I should have just been honest with everyone in the first
place. When all this is out in the open, I’m the only one who’s potentially
going to lose. Danni might never forgive me, and Zach, well, I know I
probably shouldn’t really be all that concerned about what he thinks, but I
am.
“You had your reasons. Plus, if he’s kept everything from his family like
you say, then he’ll probably only be grateful you didn’t spill everything.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“And Danni will understand that in a kinda fucked-up way you were
protecting him.”
I blow out a long breath and reach for my coffee, wishing it were
something stronger.
By the time my hair is done and Alice and I have talked each other in
circles, I get up and head to the beauty part of the salon to have my nails
and make-up done.
I don’t reveal my inner turmoil to the therapists who work their magic
on me. I’ve met them both a few times, but we’re not friendly enough for
all that. Plus, after spending my entire hair appointment discussing it, I’m
done. All I feel now is dread. Whether or not I take Christian seems almost
a moot point right now. As long as I turn up, the shit’s going to hit the fan
and I’ve most definitely left it too late to back out now.
 By the time I’m standing at my flat window, waiting for a car to pull up
outside, I’m a nervous wreck. I nearly cancelled on Christian at least ten
times on the journey back from the salon alone. But the thought of walking
into that ceremony room with no one standing beside me terrifies me.
A silver Mercedes comes to a stop right out the front, and my stomach
turns over.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I slide my palms down the soft fabric of my dress and attempt to calm
my racing heart. Knowing that I need to get down there before I lock myself
in the bathroom and never leave the flat again, I take a step back from the
window, grab my clutch and the wedding gift that’s sitting on my coffee
table and my small overnight bag, and leave the flat on shaky legs.
“Whoa, Biff, you look… wow,” Christian says when he meets me in the
entrance to my building. His eyes run the length of me but even now, I
don’t get the tingles I probably should when he does it.
“You don’t scrub up too bad yourself.” I take a moment to appreciate
him dressed to the nines in a sharp grey suit. No one would ever guess the
bad boy stripper that’s hiding beneath right now. A little excitement hits me
that at least I’m going to be walking around this wedding knowing that the
guy every single lady in the room will be eyeing up spends most of his
weekends getting his kit off. I suddenly panic that some of the hens might
recognise him, but when I lift my eyes to his once again and find his neatly
styled hair, it settles. He looks like a different person. They were all way too
drunk to notice.
“You ready?”
“Yes, let’s do this.” He holds the door open for me and I slide in before
he joins me.
“Your hands are shaking.”
“I’m… uh… just excited to see the bride,” I lie.
Our drive to the hotel is mostly in silence, thank god. I’m grateful that
Christian didn’t try to spark up too much of a conversation, because I’m so
bloody nervous right now that there’s no way I’ll be able to concentrate.
We end up getting stuck in some weekend roadwork traffic, and when
the car finally pulls up in front of the hotel it seems that everyone’s already
made their way into the ceremony room.
I breathe a sigh of relief that I’ve got at least another hour before Zach
spots me.
 With Christian’s hand resting in the small of my back, we make our way
through the hotel and find ourselves seats toward the back of the room.
Everyone around us talks amicably, the excitement in the room palpable as
they wait for their bride.
Harrison looks out over the crowd, appearing as cool and calm as ever
with his son by his side, but I wonder if that’s how he’s really feeling on the
inside.
I run my eyes over the heads in front of us, searching out a certain
blonde one. On the first pass, I don’t see him and I start to wonder if he
decided against a day of forced family time, but as I move my eyes back
once again I find the bright tips of his hair. My spine stiffens and everything
stops. My temperature starts to soar to the point that I wonder if I’m going
to pass out as I just stare at the back of his head.
“Biff, are you okay? You’re as white as a sheet.”
Unable to drag my eyes away now I’ve found him, I mumble, “I’m
good,” to Christian and hope this thing gets started soon as a distraction.
“I know you said it was going to be a lavish affair, but this is beyond
what I was imagining. How many guests have they got attending?”
“Um… like, two hundred now, and something crazy like five hundred
this evening.” Totally unnecessary if you ask me, seeing as they’re already
married, but each to their own.
“Whoa. I’m not sure I know that many people, let alone want them at
my wedding,” he whispers.
“Right? Not sure I’d be up for this, to be honest,” I admit, although I’m
sure it’s exactly what my parents imagine when they think about my
wedding day, if I ever have one.
“I thought all women wanted this?”
“Not on this scale.”
I want to say more, but Zach turns in his seat and looks towards the
back of the room. My breath catches in my throat that he’s going to have
felt me looking at him, that he knows I’m here. It’s crazy, I know, but my
irrational mind won’t stop picturing him marching right up here and
throwing me out in front of everyone.
But as I should expect, he never actually looks at me. Instead, he just
winks at someone behind me and turns back around.
I’m desperate to see more of him, but all I get is his face in the crowd. I
want to get a look at a suited and booted Zach before he realises I’m here.
I’ve only ever met the bad boy, I want to experience this other side of him
that he hates so much.
Before long, everyone has found themselves a seat and the music
changes. Harrison turns so his back is to us, but the tension in his shoulders
is obvious as he waits for his bride.
After an excruciating minute or two, the doors behind us open and in
walks Summer’s bridesmaids, Danni, her American cousin, and her soon-
to-be stepdaughter, all dressed in stunning pink gowns.
All heads turn toward them before looking at the door. A gasp fills the
room the second Summer appears, but I don’t turn to look. I keep my eyes
on Harrison. He looks down at his feet as he attempts to keep it together
and not turn around, but when Summer is halfway down the aisle, he loses
his fight. His eyes find her immediately, and the love that oozes from them
has tears burning my own. He watches her as if she’s the only other person
in the room. It’s mesmerising to see, and just like every other single woman
in the room, my yearning for that to happen to me only grows ever stronger.
I want someone who looks at me like I’m his whole world, like I’m his
reason for living.
An unsteady sigh passes my lips as I watch her final steps. I jolt like
I’ve been shot when Christian’s warm hand lands on my thigh.
He leans in and whispers, “You’re a bit of a romantic, aren’t you?”
“Who isn’t when they witness that?” I whisper back, not taking my eyes
from the couple at the front of the room.
For the whole ceremony I can’t drag my eyes away from them. The
little looks they give each other, the slightest of contact as they make their
vows… it makes my heart ache. I’m so happy for them, but fuck, I can’t
deny the jealousy that’s raging within me.
I forget all about where we are and what’s probably going to happen
very soon as they embark on the next part of their lives together.
It feels like no time when they’re announcing the new Mr. and Mrs.
Abbot, and cheers and congratulations erupt from the crowd and the ecstatic
bride and groom make their way towards the back of the room.
“The bride and groom would like to invite you to join them for an
aperitif in the great room.”
Everyone starts moving in the direction the wedding party has all left in.
The row we’re sitting in empties yet I stay put, suddenly terrified of what
comes next.
 Danni winked at me as she walked out, so she knows I’m here. She’s
going to be waiting for me out there, I know it. But… but… fuck.
“Is everything okay?” Christian asks, also noticing that we’re the only
ones left sitting here.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go and get a drink.”
This whole thing was a mistake. Being here is a mistake. I should have
made some excuse, claimed I got food poisoning from a dodgy take-out last
night or something. Anything that would mean I’d be anywhere but here
right now.

OceanofPDF.com
 24

Zach

I ’ll be the first to admit that this is not how I enjoy spending my
Saturdays, but I also can’t deny that watching as my big brother said ‘I
do’ to Summer didn’t make me smile on the inside and stirred
something in my chest. Is this something I want for myself? Absolutely not.
I’ve only been on the periphery of this wedding planning that Mum’s been
so obsessed with over the past few months, but that’s enough to know that
I’ve not got the patience for any of it.
With the most important part of today over, I start to wonder how long
I’ve got to stick around for before it’ll be deemed acceptable for me to
disappear to my room for a bit. I fucking hate small talk, and that is all
that’s going to be happening the second we step out of this room. I’ll be hit
with the same questions I get every fucking time we have a gathering.
“Have you found a woman to straighten you out yet?” “When are you going
to join the family business? I’m sure you’ll be an asset somewhere.” All of
them just add fuel to the already smouldering fire that’s in the pit of my
stomach whenever I’m forced to spend time with these people. My parents
might have at last realised that I’m a free spirit and do as I please no matter
what they say, but it’s about time everyone else did. They all learned long
ago that I don’t fit the Abbot mould. I don’t conform to their ideals. What
the fuck ever. I’m me, and they either like it or they fucking lump it,
because I’m not changing for no fucker.
By the time everyone else has left the room, I’m damn near desperate
for a drink, but that doesn’t mean I accept the fancy looking cocktail a
young waitress waves under my nose.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart. Fancy getting me a whisky instead?” Her
cheeks flush at my use of the word ‘sweetheart’, just like I’d hoped, and she
goes rushing off, hopefully in the direction of the nearest bar. She’s cute,
and I can’t help but stare at her arse in her skirt as she rushes away. Maybe
she could make today better.
“You know, you could find it in you to at least look at little happy about
today,” Lana says, wrapping her hand around my arm as she settles into my
side.
“I am.” She lifts a perfectly sculpted brow at me. “Fine, how’s this?” I
give her a fake smile and she laughs.
“Yeah, you pull that smile in the photos and you’re likely to be cut out.”
“Suits me.”
“Talking about suits, I’d forgotten how well you’d filled one out.” The
reminder of the last time she saw me in one is like someone throwing a
bucket of ice cold water over me. “Shit, fuck. Forget I said anything.” Her
eyes fill with tears as similar thoughts fill her head.
“It’s okay. Let’s just get through this, and we can go and get shitfaced,
eh?”
“Sounds like the perfect plan.” She plucks one of the fancy drinks from
a tray when another server passes. “You want one?”
“No, I’ve placed a special order. And here it comes right now.” We both
watch as the girl returns with a single glass of whisky sitting in the centre of
her tray.
“The drink or the girl?”
“Both.” I wink at her before turning towards the girl. “Thank you,
you’ve no idea how badly I need this.” I lift the glass to my lips, and as I
expected she stands and watches as I swallow the amber liquid.
“A-Another?” she stutters, her cheeks still amusingly pink.
“Make it two, and we’ve got a deal.”
“Will you leave her alone? She’s too young for you.”
“She’s serving alcohol. She’s old enough.”
 Lana tsks before turning her attention to the room. “We’re getting fed
soon, right?”
“Fuck knows. You think I was listening when they laid out the
schedule?” I tug at my collar, totally uncomfortable in this bloody suit and
already desperate to replace it with jeans and a t-shirt.
“You’re useless. I only came because you promised me decent food,”
she teases.
My aunt and uncle wander over and ask me all the usual questions, I
answer them as politely as possible, knowing that they’ll be the first of
many. Lana joins in where necessary, playing the part of my date perfectly,
but the second I introduce her my aunt and uncle know exactly who she is.
They soon bid me farewell and head off to give someone else twenty
questions.
“You know, you could have great fun making shit up. No one has a clue
who you really are, so they’d probably believe anything at this point.” I
consider her suggestion, but I’m not really sure I have the energy for it,
even though it would probably be a laugh to convince all these rich snobs
that I was an astronaut or something equally as unbelievable. “The money
that’s in this room right now in clothes and jewellery is insane, you know
that right?”
I mumble some kind of agreement. Lana knows how much I hate this
scene, how uncomfortable I feel surrounded by it all. She doesn’t need to
remind me.
“Whoa, that dress is stunning. I wonder who it is.” Rolling my eyes, a
couple of my Mum and sister’s favourite designers on the tip of my tongue,
I follow Lana’s stare.
The dress she’s talking about is a simple navy slim dress with bright
pink flowers around the waist. It’s nothing amazing, I’m actually surprised
that out of all the dresses here that it’s the one she’s picked out. I run my
eyes over the woman’s curves that the dress displays perfectly, and my cock
stirs at the thought of having them beneath my hands as I make my way up
her neck and to her… wait a fucking minute… pink hair. Pink?
My heart slams against my chest.
No, no, no. It can’t be.
I take a step back, successfully backing into a waiter and sending his
tray full of drinks crashing to the floor.
 “Fuck,” I bark, going to help him but being denied as another waiter
comes over to assist.
“What’s wrong?” Lana asks, following my stare and finding the woman
in the dress once again. Only now she’s staring right at me. “I recognise
her.” I barely register Lana’s words because there’s something exploding
inside me. I try to remind myself of where I am and that the last thing I
need to do right now is make even more of a scene, but as the fire blazes
I’m afraid I’ve got no power over what comes next.
Her eyes are wide, like a rabbit caught in headlights, but there’s not as
much shock on her face as there should be, and that’s when it dawns.
She’s always known.
“Fuck.”
Every muscle in my body screams at me to march over to her and drag
her from the room so I can demand the answers I need, but when my legs
move, they go in the opposite direction.
“Zach?” Lana calls, the clicking of her heels following my escape.
My steps don’t falter until I’ve thrown open a set of double doors and
raced down the steps into the garden.
“Zach? What the hell? Who is she?”
My chest heaves and I fight to drag in the breaths I need.
A bitter laugh falls from my lips. “I don’t know,” I admit. I thought I
had her all figured out. The posh girl wanting to be a rebel. Well, I was right
about one thing: she is the posh girl. I just had no idea she was somehow
directly connected with the posh people I try to avoid at all costs.
I never should have fucking touched her.
My fists clench as memories of my time with her slam into me. Even
now, when I can barely see through the red haze of anger that’s descended
around me, I can’t forget how fucking electric we are together.
But why is she here? How does she know your family?
Summer’s a student. So is Tabitha. I tell myself that that is it. She’s
friends with Summer and had no idea I was connected to her. This is just a
coincidence. Only, it’s not. I remember the look in her eyes as she stared at
me. She was expecting me. That look in her eyes wasn’t shock. It was fear.
Fear because I’d just figured her out.
“Zach, where the hell are you going?” Lana shouts as I storm back
toward the hotel. Scene or not, I need to hear the truth from her lips before I
put an end to anything that might have been between us for good. I ignore
her repeated question as I push back through the doors and find the room
exactly as it was before my world imploded.
I search for her in the crowd but come up short. My nails dig into my
palms with my need to hear her beg for reprieve when I get my fucking
hands on her. My teeth grind with my need to hurt her.
A man clears his throat at the other side of the room, earning him all the
attention. “The bride and groom would like the wedding party to join them
outside for photos.”
“Come on, arsewipe. Let’s go,” Danni says, suddenly appearing at my
side and linking her arms through mine.
I allow her to drag me from the room because I’m not sure what else to
do right at this very moment.
We’re almost outside when I spot her. She’s at reception, taking a room
key from the member of staff behind the desk.
She’s staying the night. Good. That means she’s got nowhere to run.

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 25

Tabitha

M y stomach turns over the second our eyes connect. Anger

radiates from him the second he realises it’s me.
“Shit.”
“Oh, it’s Zach,” Christian says, shocking the fuck out of me. Dragging
my eyes away from Zach, I look over at my date. It’s all the excuse he
needs, because the next time I look up he’s practically running from the
room.
“You… you know him?”
“Yeah, he does my ink.”
“Oh, fucking hell. This isn’t fucking happening.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I… I need to go and get some air. Can you—”
“I can come. You look like you’re about to be sick.”
“I might,” I admit, “but please, just stay here and please don’t tell
anyone you know Zach and certainly don’t mention what he does for a
living.” Christian’s brows pull together in confusion, but I don’t have it in
me right now to explain. “I… I just need a minute. Get me a white wine,
yeah?”
He nods as I turn and run from the room as fast as my heels will allow.
 “Fuck.” My back hits the wall of the hallway when I stop to take a
breath. I’ve no idea how I wanted today to play out, but that certainly
wasn’t it. “Jesus, fuck, fuck,” I whisper to myself, trying to stop my head
from spinning.
Seeing the hotel’s reception in the distance, I push from the wall and
head over to try my luck.
“Good afternoon. How can I help you?”
“I’ve got a room booked for tonight. I know it’s still a little early for
check in, but I just wondered if—”
“What was the name?”
“Tabitha Anderson.” The guy clicks about on his computer a little
before a smile pulls at his lips.
“You’re in luck, it seems your room is all ready.”
I’m not sure luck is a word I use to describe any part of today but if it
means I get my room and somewhere to hide then I’ll take it.
He hands me a key card after a few seconds and gives me directions.
“Room five-one-four. Take the lift to the fifth floor and your room is down
the corridor and to the left. Please call if you need anything. Have a
wonderful stay.”
I can’t take it from his hand fast enough. In the blink of an eye I’m in
the lift and heading for the peace of my room to attempt to get my head on
straight.
It takes me three attempts to get the door to open. I’m on the verge of
tears by the time the little green light flashes with frustration.
I push inside, drop my clutch on the side and fall down onto the end of
my bed. I don’t notice anything about the room aside from the fact it’s got a
bed.
This was such a fucking stupid thing to do. I never should have come.
Seeing the fire in his eyes even from that distance was enough to know how
badly I’ve fucked all this up.
I can’t be sitting there more than two minutes when there’s a knock at
my door.
How the fuck has he found me already?
I shake my hands out at my sides as I stand in an attempt to lose some
of the tension pulling at my body, but it does little to help.
The door’s knocked again, and despite not wanting to allow whoever it
is to know I’m inside, my own voice betrays me. “Just give me a minute.”
 Glancing at myself in the mirror, I wipe at the smudged make-up under
my eyes and drag in a breath that I hope is full of confidence.
I walk towards the door, my legs so unsteady I would think I’d had a
skinful, not just a sip of whatever that drink was they were handing out
downstairs.
Putting my eye to the peep hole, I almost sigh with relief.
Pulling the door open, my eyes land on what’s in his hand. A very large
glass of white wine.
“Come in.” Christian hands it to me before following me inside.
“How’d you find me?”
“I followed you out to reception to make sure you were okay. I
overheard your room number.”
“I can’t really complain,” I say, lifting the glass and taking a less-than-
lady-like mouthful.
“What’s going on, Biff?”
I blow out a breath and try to figure out where to start.
“I work at Rebel Ink. I’m the new receptionist.”
“Oh?”
“None of Zach’s family knows what he does. He’s kept Rebel a secret
from them all.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know for sure. He doesn’t know that I know, and he wasn’t
expecting me here today. His sister is actually my best friend and—”
“And you’ve been sleeping with him.”
I drop my head into my hands. “This is such a fucking mess.”
“You’ve got that right. So you invited me here to what, exactly? Make
him jealous?”
“No,” I say truthfully. “I just needed someone beside me when the shit
hit the fan, and I’m sorry it’s you. I had no idea you knew each other. I
never would have—”
“It’s okay,” he says, taking my hand in his. “I believe you.”
“I doubt Zach and Danni will be so forgiving.”
“Wow. Okay, so correct me if I’ve got any of this wrong. Your best
friend, Zach’s sister, has no idea you’re sleeping with him. Zach also has no
idea, and his whole family don’t know he tattoos?”
“Something like that. I knew Zach from school, but he doesn’t
remember me. I didn’t know he owned Rebel when I went for an interview.
But then he turned up and I’d heard so much about him from Danni so I just
played along and kept his secret. Nothing was meant to happen between us.
We hate each other.” He raises a brow. “No, really. And after this, he’s
really going to hate me. Danni too.”
“So what now? You can’t exactly hide up here for the rest of the
wedding.”
“Can’t I?” I ask hopefully, and he laughs.
“You need to talk to both of them before things get out of hand.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me? I’m here as your date, and it seemed that Zach was
also here with one, if the leggy brunette beside him was anything to go by.”
My stomach turns again at the thought of Zach bringing a date.
“I don’t want to ruin Summer’s day.”
“Well maybe don’t do it in the middle of the wedding breakfast then,
eh?”
I laugh, and it feels good after what my day’s been like. “Thank you.”
“I like you, Biff,” Christian admits, looking down at his feet. “You’re…
different. A breath of fresh air. But I can settle for friends.” My chest aches
as he looks back up at me, still a little hope shining in his eyes.
“You can leave if you want. I’m so sorry for dragging you into all this.”
“Hey, you said free booze and fancy food. I’m going nowhere until
those two promises are fulfilled.”
“Okay.” I stand and square my shoulders. “Let’s do this then,” I say
with much more enthusiasm than I feel. I drain the last of my wine and slam
it down on the dresser.
I’m Tabitha Anderson the woman. I no longer hide away from guys like
Zach fucking Abbot.
With my head held high and my arm linked through Christian’s, we
head back down to the wedding together. All the while my stomach’s in
knots and my heart’s damn near beating out of my chest.
Thankfully the wedding party still seems to be absent when we walk
back into the room.
“Bar?” Christian asks.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He orders us both a drink while my eyes scan the room, waiting for the
moment they all start reappearing.
 Eventually, I start to relax a little. Hopefully that’ll only continue as the
wine settles into my system. I’m lost in a conversation with Christian when
a shiver runs down my back.
“Fuck. He’s just walked in, hasn’t he?”
Christian looks over my shoulder. I don’t need to hear his answer—his
face says it all.
“He’s—” He doesn’t get any more words out before warm fingers wrap
around my wrist and I’m none too gently pulled from my spot.
“Let’s go,” Zach growls in my ear before forcing me out of the room.
He pulls me to a stop and pushes me up against the wall. His eyes are
wild with his fury as he stares at me, his chest heaving and his breaths
racing over my face. His hand rests against the wall beside my head. He
might be on the edge of losing control, but I can’t help noticing just how hot
he looks in his fancy suit. It fits him like a second skin and makes him look
like the posh boy that he really is deep down. That doesn’t mean that his
eyes and jaw line don’t scream rebel. I see more than what he’s willing to
give, and I think that could be one of the reasons he hates me so much.
“I’m fucking waiting.”
“Bus stop’s outside, boss,” I sass. His hand slaps against the wall and I
flinch in shock.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
“Because I was invited.” I know I should just explain everything, but
there’s something about him that makes my defiant streak undeniable.
“Stop being a smart arse. Who are you?”
I open my mouth to tell him the truth, but another voice sounds out
around us. Zach has no choice but to move away from me, but his eyes still
hold mine. The hatred in them makes my insides quiver, but it’s not an
unwelcome or scared feeling. Very much the opposite.
“What’s going on here?”
“Nothing,” Zach barks, still refusing to look at his sister.
“O-Okay. Zach, this is Tabitha, my best friend.” His chin drops as a
missing piece of this puzzle falls into place. “Although it seems you must
remember her.”
“Remember her?” It’s only now that he turns to Danni. “From where?”
“School, you idiot. Tabitha was in your year.”
He rears back like she’s just slapped him. “Right, yeah. School.”
Danni waves him off. “See, I told you he’s not really changed.”
 “You got that right. Once an arsehole always an arsehole.” Danni’s eyes
widen at my bluntness, but she laughs in amusement. Zach mostly looks
impressed by my lack of filter.
“Come on, I need a drink,” Danni complains.
“I’ve actually already got one. It’s with my date.” Zach bristles at my
statement.
“Okay, well let’s go drink it then.”
“No,” Zach barks. “I need to talk to Tabitha.”
“Right, fine,” she fumes before storming off.
“Tabitha Anderson,” he says, as if saying it will help summon up some
long-lost memory. “Nope, can’t say I remember you.”
“That’s not a surprise. I was one of the girls that guys like you didn’t
even think were in the room.”
“Guys like me?” His lips press into a thin line as he steps closer once
again. His scent fills my nose and makes my brain misfire.
“Yeah, self-proclaimed god’s gift to women. Arrogant, pig-headed
arseholes who got whatever it was they wanted.”
I expect him to be angry at my description of his younger self, but
instead he just smiles.
“Whoa, now I get it.” He lifts his hand and takes my chin between his
thumb and finger. “You wanted me and I saw straight through you.”
“Ha. You wish. No, I hated you then and I hate you now.”
His eyes narrow. “The feeling’s fucking mutual, Kitten.” He releases me
and takes a huge step away. “Watch your fucking back, Tabby Cat.” And
with that he’s gone, leaving me wondering what the fuck just happened. He
vanishes in the opposite direction that his sister went, and when I look
down the corridor, I see a flash of pink that could only have belonged to her.
“Fuck.”

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 26

Zach

B lood races past my ears, successfully cutting anything else off. I’ve
no fucking clue if anyone calls for me as I storm through the room
where everyone’s gathered. My only focus is getting away from
her and removing any thoughts of her from my head. What I want to do is
wrap my hand around her fucking neck while I fuck my frustration out on
her. The temptation to drag her to some unused room in this hotel and do
just that only moments ago was so strong that it almost happened. Had it
not been for my sister’s interruption then I might have.
She’s my sister’s best friend. I went to school with her. How do I not
know any of this?
I fall down onto a bench that’s sitting in the shadows and rest my head
back against the wall of the hotel as I try to catch my breath.
I didn’t want to be here today, but I never could have imagined this.
I should remember her.
I rack my brain for any hint of a memory of Tabitha from all my years at
school, but I have nothing. Absolutely nothing. The fact that I can’t
remember only adds to the anger that’s just about to bubble over. I can’t
lose my shit, not today.
I focus on my breathing, but nothing helps. Nothing but ploughing into
her fucking body is going to help right now.
 She’s got a date.
“Fuck,” I shout into the silence around me.
I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head.
The sound of footsteps approaching should make me look up, but when
I see the colour of the shoes, I don’t bother because I know what’s coming.
“You’ve been fucking my best mate.”
“Apparently so.” There’s no point denying it. I knew she was watching
our interaction. She’ll have seen the spark that seems to always be between
us, even when I want to fucking kill her with my own bare hands.
“You know, if you actually bothered with your family, like ever, then
you might have a clue who we’re all friends with and know who to steer
clear of.”
“I don’t need a fucking lecture, Dan.”
“No? Well you’re getting one.”
She doesn’t bother sitting with me. Instead she stands with her hands on
her hips as she rants about my life choices. Choices she only assumes
because she doesn’t actually know anything about my life.
It dawns on me that Tabitha could have told her everything about me,
about my life, my business, about everything, yet she hasn’t. Why? She
says she hates me, so wouldn’t the perfect revenge be to tell all my secrets
to those I keep them from? She could have sold me out to Danni in a
heartbeat, but she hasn’t.
“I haven’t got time for this.” I push from the seat and take a step away
from her.
“You fucking hurt her and I’ll kill you.”
Spinning on my heels, I pin her with a look that would make most
people cower, but not my feisty little sister. “She’s been lying to you this
whole time, Dan. Maybe it should be her you’re ripping into right now.”
“Oh, don’t worry. She’s firmly on my shit list.”
I walk off before Danni has the chance to say any more. I need a
fucking drink.
Ignoring everyone, I march straight up to the bar and order myself two
whiskys.
“Two at once. You must be really enjoying yourself,” Lana laughs,
hopping up onto a vacant stool next to me.
“You have no fucking idea.”
“Try me.”
 “I’ve been…” I try to come up with the right term to use to describe
what Tabitha and I have been doing, but it eludes me.
“Fucking?” she helpfully adds when I say no more.
“Something like that. Well… she’s here, and it turns out she’s friends
with my sister.”
“Oh. That’s… interesting. So, this fuck buddy—” I cringe at her use of
that term. There’s most definitely nothing serious between Tabitha and me,
but why does hearing those words just feel wrong? “She know who you
really are?”
“She my receptionist,” I mutter into my glass.
“Shut the fuck up. The one with the pink hair?”
“Yeah, how’d you—”
“I left something at your flat the last time I was there. You were
elsewhere when I came back for it so she let me up. Let me tell you, she
was jealous as fuck that I’d spent the previous night up there with you.” A
wicked smile curls at Lana’s lips.
“What did you do, Lan?”
“I might have mentioned something about the pack of condoms that
were sitting on the side to make her think we’d been, you know.” She
waves her hand about instead of saying the words, but I hear them loud and
clear. My lip curls at the thought “You don’t need to look so offended. I’ll
have you know that I’m an awesome lay.”
“I don’t need to hear shit like that. You’re practically my sister.” She
shrugs and orders herself a drink when the barman stops in front of us.
“And another two for him. I think he needs it.”
Lana and I had never really had anything to do with each other in all the
years I’d been around her family, with her being three years younger we
were always interested in different things. Then after Jon died, we became
close. Never that kind of close, though. We both leaned on each other as we
got through our grief. We’ve been pretty solid ever since despite our
differences. He brought us together, and I’ll forever be grateful because
she’s been a great friend to me.
“So… let’s summarise. You’re fucking your receptionist, who also
happens to be your sister’s bestie, and she’s here today.”
“She was also in my year at school and I had no idea. And I hate her.”
“You hate her. She’s got you this twisted up because you hate her.”
 “The fact that she’s here and was even invited should tell you that she’s
not exactly my type.”
“Zach,” she breathes. “I know you don’t want to be in this world, but
I’ve got news for you, buddy. Your last name means that it’s where you
belong whether you like it or not. Have you ever considered that she might
feel the same? She’s working in your studio, for fuck’s sake. She might
want to rebel from all this just like you do. She might actually be your
perfect woman.”
“Shut the fuck up, Lana.”
I lift my new glass to my lips as an accomplished smile spreads across
hers.
“So where is she?” Lana asks, spinning so she can take in the room.
“There,” I mutter, tilting my head in her direction without even looking
up from the wooden bar top in front of me.
“Ah yes.” She’s silent as she watches, I assume Tabitha, for a few
minutes. “So, how do you want to play this?”
I consider her question for a few minutes, but I don’t get a chance to
come up with an answer because my parents come over.
I don’t hear a word of what they ask Lana. Instead I scan the crowd. I
don’t want to know where she is, not really, but the temptation to look at
her is too strong to ignore.
I find her immediately over Dad’s shoulder. She looks perfectly put
together as she laughs at something someone says before taking a sip of her
drink while I’m over here feeling like I’m about to erupt at any moment.
The second my dad moves slightly, that moment seems to happen.
“What the fuck?” All the conversations stop around me as I take in the
man she’s standing with. Fucking Christian.
I push from the bar stool I’m leaning up against, sending it crashing to
the floor. All eyes are on me as I storm across the room.
My fingers wrap around her upper arm and I twist her until she has no
choice but to face me.
“He’s your fucking date? What the fuck are you playing at? Do you find
this fucking funny? Was this your plan all along?”
“What? Zach, no. I had no idea that—”
“If you would all like to begin making your way to the grand room, the
wedding breakfast will be served shortly,” someone behind me says, cutting
off whatever Tabitha’s pathetic excuse was about to me.
 “Zach, come on. Everyone’s looking. Deal with this later,” Lana
whispers in my ear. She wraps her arm around my waist and tries to move
me.
“You,” Tabitha says, locking eyes on Lana.
“Nice to meet you again,” Lana says politely to Tabitha who looks
about ready to throttle her. “Zach, move now.”
She none too gently tries to drag me in the other direction. When I
eventually pull my eyes from Tabitha’s stormy grey ones, I notice that
everyone else is also heading that way. Well, those of them who aren’t
staring at us.
“This isn’t over.” I pin her with a look before allowing Lana to pull me
away. I spot Danni standing in the corner of the room, doing her bridesmaid
duty and encouraging everyone to move in the right direction.
“You need to get through today and then you can cause whatever kind
of scene you wish. Do not ruin today for Harrison or your parents, please,”
Lana begs as we move through the huge room to find our table.
I keep my head down and refuse to look back to see if they’re following
us.
Of all people, she’s here with fucking Christian. Crazy thoughts fill my
head. “Have they been seeing each other since the night at Pulse? Are they
a couple? Then comes the even worse one. “What does this mean for us?” I
shake that final one from my head, because it really doesn’t need to be
there. It doesn’t mean anything for us because there is no us.

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 27

Tabitha

“I can’t do this,” I say, my chest heaving as I watch Zach and his

date’s backs as they walk away from us. “I can’t be here. Not
with him, and certainly not with her.”
“It’s okay,” Christian says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“No, it’s not. Me being here right now is ruining everything. I should
leave.”
“And have Summer notice two empty seats at her wedding breakfast?
She’s more likely to notice that than a little animosity between you and her
new brother-in-law.”
“A little?”
“Okay, so a lot. Just take a moment, breathe, and then get your arse in
there and celebrate your friend’s wedding like you should be. Put
everything else aside for a few hours. You’ve got plenty of time to deal with
all of that later.”
I nod, knowing that he’s right but not really wanting to accept it.
Sucking in a deep breath, I pray it’ll give me some strength and I take a
step towards the room. We’re almost the only ones left in here now, so
when a pink dress appears in my periphery, I know there’s only one person
it can belong to.
“Danni, I—”
 “Don’t,” she barks, and I still at the harshness in her tone. I’ve always
known it’s been there, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of it and
fuck, if it doesn’t sting. It’s the least of what I deserve though.
A huge ball climbs up my throat, and I have to really fight to stop the
tears that want to so desperately escape from filling my eyes.
I allow Christian to escort me into the room, and we quickly find our
seats. It’s not hard seeing as almost all the others are taken. And just
because karma wants to fuck with me today, obviously I’m sitting so Zach
is right in my eyeline.
My eyes lock on to him the second I look up. He looks breath-taking
with his sharp suit, his cleanly shaved face and his now messed-up hair. It
was perfectly styled when I first saw him only a couple of hours ago but
now, thanks to me, it looks like he’s run his hands through it a million times
in the last ten minutes alone.
Like he can feel my stare, he drags his focus away from the man across
the table he’s talking to and looks directly at me. The coldness in his eyes is
like a spear through my heart.
“I’m sorry,” I mouth, hoping it will help even just a tiny bit.
He shakes his head and turns away. I’m so close to sitting there and
sobbing as a guy with a microphone announces the arrival of Mr and Mrs
Abbot and everyone around me stands and starts clapping. I join in, but I
hardly see the happy couple through the tears filling my eyes.
How did I make such a mess of all this? All I was trying to do was
follow Gran’s advice and find a life of my own. All I seem to have achieved
is to ruin the lives of those I love. I gasp. Love? No. I hate him. Hate. Him.
The meal is probably the best one of my life but equally the worst. The
food is out of this world, and even better than I sold to Christian apparently,
but I struggle to eat and then really taste any of it. All I want to do is run,
yet I’m forced to sit surrounded by people I don’t know and talk about my
parents because although I may not know these people, it seems they all
know who I am and are keen for me to remember them to my parents. Like
that’s going to happen. I get question after question thrown at me about
when I’m going to join the family business and continue the empire that’s
been built for me. I make all the right noises about wanting to get some life
experience first and all that kind of bullshit, anything but tell the truth
which is that I’m going nowhere near it, even with a bargepole.
 By the time the coffees are served I feel like I could go up to my room
and sleep for a week. It’s definitely preferable to spending the rest of the
day with this fake arse smile on my face.
Not once through the entire meal did Zach so much lift his head to look
at me. His date, however… she was lapping that shit up. It was almost like
she was trying to figure me out. I’ve no idea if she’s just his usual go-to girl
or if there’s more there. Fuck, my chest aches at just the thought of him
seeing someone else.
“I need to have a few minutes to myself. I totally understand if you want
to leave. Actually, I think you probably should.”
Christian’s eyes flick around my face as he tries to decide what he
should do.
“You do what you need to do, I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Christian, I—” It’s that moment that I notice he’s not really looking at
me but at someone over my shoulder. Following his line of sight, I find a
woman that I don’t recognise staring back. “Oh, I see. Well, I guess one of
us should at least get laid tonight.” A bitter laugh falls from my lips and
Christian’s eyes come back to me.
“Shit, if you don’t want—”
“No, you go and have fun. It’s what should happen at these things,
right?”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I will be.” Leaning in, I place a quick kiss to his cheek and stand. “Go
get ‘em, hot shot.” With a wink, I walk away from the table and thankfully
through the crowds of people who are also leaving the room in favour of the
bar without being interrupted. I have no clue where Zach is. He disappeared
the second he thought it was acceptable. Danni has been busy with her
duties but I’ve no doubt she’ll find me the second she gets a chance.
The moment I close my hotel room door behind me, I rest my back on it
and blow out a very long breath.
I stay there for the longest time, running the events of today over and
over in my mind. It doesn’t help. I still feel like a fucking idiot for putting
us all in this fucked-up situation.
I’m lost in my own head when there’s a loud click behind me and then
someone’s trying to push the door open.
I jump forward to allow whoever it is to enter.
“Can I hel—” My words falter when I see who it is.
 Danni steps inside the room and closes the door.
It’s not until she takes a step towards me that she looks up. Her eyes,
like mine, are full of unshed tears.
“Danni, I’m so—”
“Don’t,” she barks, holding up her hand to ensure I seal my lips. “How
long? How long have you been lying to me for? And don’t even think about
doing it again.”
“Just a couple of weeks,” I whisper, ashamed that I’ve lied to her at all.
“Just? So you think that just because it’s a short amount of time it’s
okay? When were you planning on telling me exactly?” I open my mouth to
respond, but she must be able to read something in my expression. “Wait.
You were going to tell me, right?”
“It’s… it’s more complicated than that, Dan.”
“How is it complicated exactly? All you had to do was tell me you’d
met him. Tell me you liked him. But no, you went behind my back when
you know full well that I’d have supported you no matter what. Because I
would, you know. If you’d have come to me and explained you liked him
then I’d have said good luck, see if you can tame the fucker. But no. You
decided to lie, time and time again if the connection between the two of you
is anything to go by.”
“That’s just it, though. I don’t like him. I fucking hate him.”
She rears back like I’ve just slapped her. “But—”
“It’s complicated. But I need you to know that he’s not been lying to
you. He had no idea who I was. Until you pointed it out downstairs, he had
no idea we went to school together.”
“Right, okay.” I sit down on the edge of my bed while she paces back
and forth, trying to make sense of all this. “So where did you meet him?”
“You really need to be talking to him about this, not me.”
“No, Tabitha.” My jaw drops at her use of my full name. “I’m asking
you. I’m standing here asking for my best friend to be honest with me.”
“I know, and I get it. But there are things that aren’t for me to explain.
Zach is…” I trail off, trying to think of the correct way to describe him.
“Zach is…” she prompts.
“Complicated.”
“Yeah, you said that word already. Twice in fact. I understand you think
it’s complicated, but I’m asking for you to break it down for me. I don’t
understand what’s so important that you’d keep it from me.”
 “You know Zach’s secretive about what he does.”
“So he’s made you keep his secret.”
“No, he had no idea I could— ugh… none of that matters right now. I’ll
tell you everything you want to know, but you’ve got to speak to him first.”
It physically pains me to do this, and the look on Danni’s face damn near
breaks my heart. I know my loyalty should be with her and that I should
spill all Zach’s secrets in a heartbeat after everything, but I can’t. Some
weird little fucked-up part of me still feels the need to protect his secret.
She stops pacing and comes to a stop in front of me. “You’re fucking
serious, aren’t you?” I nod. “Why the fuck are you protecting him after the
way he treated you downstairs?” The tears that were pooling in my eyes
spill over at last.
“Because they’re his secrets to tell, not mine.”
“Even to me?” The pain in her voice is palpable as her own tears drop.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I sob.
She opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. She takes
two steps back towards my door. “Fuck you, Biff. I hope he was fucking
worth it.”
A sob rips from my throat at the same moment she pulls the door open
and runs through it.
Falling back on the bed, I take the lid off everything I’ve been holding
inside today.

When I eventually drag my exhausted arse from the bed, both my hair and
makeup need a total redo. Finding my phone at the bottom of my bag, I
shoot a quick message to Christian to make sure he’s still okay. It takes a
few minutes but eventually I get a reply that’s a huge smiley face. Well, at
least one of us is having a good day.
After rummaging through my overnight bag, I remove all my make up
and start again, followed by my hair. Neither are as sophisticated as when I
first arrived, but it’ll have to do.
When I wrap my fingers around the door handle, I don’t feel even the
slightest bit prepared for what tonight might hold. I desperately want to stay
hidden up here, but if by any chance Summer does look for me then I’ll
never forgive myself.
The party is in full swing by the time I get to the great room once more.
All the tables from this afternoon have been cleared out and there’s now a
dancefloor in front of a massive DJ set up with loads of lights and gigantic
speakers.
The lights have been dimmed slightly so it takes a second for me to spot
Christian, but when I do I find him sitting alone.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“It’s good. She’d had to go off to mingle.”
“Who is she?”
“Friend of the family, I think.”
“You think? What the hell have you been talking about all this time?”
“She’s a dancer.”
“One that keeps their clothes on or...”
“You’re funny. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a truck. Never been better.”
“Wine?”
“Please.”
I watch as he gets up and walks to the bar. I look around the room once
more but I see neither Danni nor Zach and my heart drops.

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 28

Zach

“S
guests.
he told me to speak to you. So here I am. What the fuck am I
missing here, Zach?”
“Not here,” I say, dragging my sister out of earshot of other

“Well?” she prompts once we’re alone.

“Now isn’t the place or the time to dive into my life. If you really cared
you’d have asked before now,” I snap.
“Now, that’s not fair. I always ask what you’ve been up to. I’m curious
as fuck as to what you do with your time. Aside from banging my best
friend it seems and making her keep your secrets.”
“Yeah, well they’re my secrets. Just like she’d keep any of yours from
me. She’s fucking loyal, thank fuck.”
“What the hell is that meant to mean?”
“Nothing. Look, I’ll tell you whatever you want.” Her eyes light up.
“But not today. Let’s just do what we’ve got to do today then you can
interrogate me tomorrow.”
“Really?”
“Really,” I agree with a sigh. “Now can you drop it?”
“Sure,” she sulks. “I’m still pissed at you, though.”
“When aren’t you?”
 She slaps me in the chest before I turn to walk away. I almost
immediately find the happy couple and Harrison pulls me in for a brotherly
hug, not something that happens all that often.
“Congrats, you two. Has it been everything you hoped it would be?”
“Better,” Summer swoons before she’s distracted by my sister.
“What the fuck is going on?” Harrison asks, his tone brisk and cool,
much like I imagine him to be at work.
“It’s nothing.”
“It better bloody not be, because if you ruin any part of—”
“Chill. It’s not going to happen. I’ve got it under control.”
“When have you ever had anything under control before?”
“I’m more capable than you want to believe,” I say, hoping like fuck it’s
true.
The second I saw Christian sitting with the daughter of my parents’
friends not so long ago instead of his date, I almost lost my shit. Fuck
knows why I care, though. He can do whatever the fuck he wants, and if it
hurts Tabitha, all the better.
Leaving Harrison with his new bride, I walk towards the bar. It’s been at
least thirty minutes since some alcohol passed my lips.
“Well, well, well, look who it is,” I say, sliding in next to Christian.
“Zach, man. I had no idea this was your brother’s wedding, I swear to
you.” I look at him and raise a brow. “Or that you and Biff have a—”
“Have a what?” I interrupt, suddenly desperate to hear what she’s told
him about this whole clusterfuck.
“A… uh… thing going on.”
“There’s no thing. I fucked her a couple of times, that’s all. Really, I
can’t fucking stand her. It’s a good fucking job she’s a stellar lay because I
wouldn’t keep her around otherwise.” I don’t see his fist coming until it’s
too late.
“Ow fuck.” My hand comes up to my lip, and it starts swelling almost
instantly. “You fucking…” I fly at him, but hands landing on my waist from
behind stop me.
“What the fuck did you just promise me, bro?” Harrison growls in my
ear. “Sort your shit out or fucking leave.”
I take a deep breath, holding eye contact with Christian, letting him
know that he’d be on the floor by now if I had my way.
“We good?” Harrison asks and hesitantly releases me.
 “Whisky. Make it very large,” I bark at the waiter when he appears from
nowhere in front of me.
“Coming right up, Sir.”
I can feel Christian staring daggers into me, but I refuse to look at him
until I’ve had a drink. I’m too sober to deal with this shit right now.
“I had no idea she even worked for you until today. She wasn’t in last
weekend.”
“No, she was too busy at Summer’s hen do it seems. I should have put
two and two together that night. But you said there were like, four hen dos,
so I just didn’t think.”
“Why would you? Did you see her there?” he asks with a wince.
“You mean, did I see you gyrating your naked arse in her face? Then
yeah, I fucking did.”
“Sorry, man. It’s just my job.”
“Really? Because it seems it got you an invite here.”
“I met her before that night, actually. That night just gave me the chance
to ask her out again.”
“It was you she was with Tuesday night.” I don’t ask it as a question. I
already know the answer. “It couldn’t have been a very good date.”
“What makes you say that?”
I down my drink and lean over. “Because she ended the night with my
cock inside her.” If he looks shocked, he doesn’t show it. It doesn’t mean I
still don’t look smug as shit, though.
I push my glass towards the barman, gesturing for another, and stand.
“You don’t stand a chance with her, so if you feel like continuing things,
then I strongly suggest you stop. You won’t win.”
“And you will?”
“Nah. I don’t want her.” Even before the words have left my lips they
feel like a lie, but it still doesn’t stop me, and it won’t stop me showing her
just how angry I am with what she’s done either. “But I sure as shit don’t
want you having her.”
With that, I pick up my new drink and walk away. Sadly, the second I
do, she walks into the room.
She’s fucking beautiful, and I hate that I’ve come to know her well
enough to know she’s on the verge of breaking down. She clearly stood up
for me with Danni, seeing as she’s since come to me for the answers she
wants. But even knowing both of those things, as our stare holds, my blue
to her tormented grey, I can’t help but need to show her exactly how angry I
am with her.
Her eyes drop to my lip and concern flickers through them, but it’s not
enough to make her ask about it.
My grip on the glass tightens, and my cock swells with the need to drive
into her hard and fast. To feel her body trembling beneath mine.
My jaw grinds and the muscle in my neck pulses with every thump of
my heart. I hope she can see how close to the fucking edge I am right now.
“Come on, let’s dance,” a familiar deep voice says behind me before
Tabitha lifts her hand and slips it into Christian’s. The fucker has the
audacity to wink at me before he pulls what is mine to the dancefloor.
I tell myself to walk away, to find a dark corner where I can hide and
get shitfaced, but my legs don’t comply and I’m forced to stand and watch
as he pulls her body into his and together they start moving to the music.
If he’s trying to get a rise out of me, then he’s going to be bitterly
disappointed. I have every intention of showing Tabitha who she belongs to,
but I also have every intention of doing it when we’re in private, where she
has no one to come to her rescue.
I’m eventually distracted when some fucker I don’t recognise calls my
name and starts gushing about what a beautiful day it’s been and asking
when it’s my turn.
I just about manage to hold in the ‘fuck off’ that’s right on the tip of my
tongue.
No sooner has whoever the fuck he is disappears than another couple
turns to me. They give me the ‘wow, haven’t you grown’ speech that I
really don’t fucking need. Apparently, the last time they saw me I was
seven, seeing as they couldn’t come to Harrison’s first wedding. I manage
to refrain from pointing out that seeing as twenty years have passed since
then, it shouldn’t be a fucking shock that I’ve grown.
As the night passes, so do the people who insist on sparking up a
conversation with me. I start to think it’s a game. They must be able to see
that I’m balancing the fine line between sanity and losing my shit, but still
they insist on asking me the same bullshit questions again and again.
The only good thing about the many nosey visitors I get is that they pay
attention to what I’m drinking and almost always arrive with a glass. It does
help with my quest to drink today out of my system.
 There’s a break in people as Harrison and Summer take to the
dancefloor for their first dance and I take the opportunity to visit the empty
bar and convince the guy to just give me the fucking bottle.
I forgo the clean glass he tries to give me and take the bottle outside. I
am done with this.
The loud bass of the music soon starts thumping through the wall,
making me even surer that I made the right decision to escape. I see a
couple of others who venture out to smoke, but mostly they’re guys wanting
a little peace as well so no one really says much as I continue drinking from
my bottle.
When I eventually head back inside, the bottle is long empty, my legs
are a little unsteady, and it seems that the party has come to an end. There’s
a whispered little voice in the back of my head that tells me I’ll be in the
shit with my parents for bunking off the rest of the party and not saying
goodbye to everyone, but why would anyone care? It’s not my fucking
wedding.
Spotting my sister propping up the bar, I head over.
“Where is she?” I slur, slamming my hand down on the bar and making
her jump.
She looks over, her eyes running down the length of me. “Fucking hell,
Zach. You’re wasted.”
“I think I have every right to be after what that bitch has done.” Danni’s
chest puffs out as if she’s about to defend her, but at the last minute she
must remember all the lies and keeps her mouth shut.
“I’m not telling you.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? She fucking lied to you.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to feed her to you, arsehole.”
“What will it cost me?” Her brows draw together in confusion before
the penny drops. Now the thought of being inside her hotel room and being
able to get my hands on her has filled my mind, I won’t stop until it’s
happening.
She considers my question for a few seconds. “Tell me where you met
her.”
“She works for me. She came to me for a job and one of my dumb arse
colleagues thought it was a good idea.”
“She works for you? What the fuck, Zach?”
 “Surprise, Pipsqueak. I’m not just a fucking dumb arse who pisses his
trust fund up the wall. I’m a fucking businessman, and a fucking good one
at that. Now tell me where the fuck she is.”
Danni looks at me as if she’s suddenly seeing an entirely different
person. “You… you have employees?”
“Where the fuck is she?” I ask again, ignoring her question.
“R-room five-one-four.” I turn, but her voice stops me.
“I might not like her very much right now, but my warning still stands.
You hurt her and I’ll hurt you.”
I salute her before walking away and directly into the open lift.
My heart pounds faster and faster the closer I get. It’s been hours since
I’ve had her alone, and even longer since we’ve been in private. I’ve got
plenty I want to say to her, but I feel that on this occasion actions might
speak louder.
I’m not the kind of guy people lie to and are able to get away with it. I
haven’t got where I have by allowing people to walk over me. Especially
pussy cats like Tabitha. She’s chosen the wrong man to go into battle with,
and she’s about to discover what a fucking mistake she’s made crossing me.
I lift my hand to her door and something inside me settles. This ends
now, Tabby Cat.

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 29

Tabitha

I ’m staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, about to take my make-up

off when the knock sounds out. It’s so hard it makes my bones rattle. I
knew it was coming, and that was almost enough to have me calling
an Uber and heading home. But I didn’t. I need to face the music and it
seems that he’s chosen right now as the perfect time.
Holding on to the marble top, I count to ten in an attempt to calm my
racing heart enough to be able to deal with him. To be able to rationally
explain why I did what I did without breaking down, or worse, caving to the
control he seems to have over my body when he’s in the same room as me.
“Open the fucking door, Tabitha, or I’ll knock the fucking thing down.”
The rough slur to his voice does things to my insides that it really shouldn’t.
He’s angry, understandably so, but it shouldn’t turn me on quite like it does.
There’s a fucking door between us yet my knickers are already getting a
little damp.
His loud knock sounds out once more, and I force my legs to move
before he gets us both kicked out of the damn hotel.
“Tabi—” His loud voice is cut off the second I pull the door open. His
hand lands on the wood, and he pushes so hard that I have no choice but to
step back or be crushed like a fly behind it.
 I take one look at him with his loosened tie and messy hair and I know
I’m in for a rough ride. I guess the question is, just how rough can I take?
I’ve never been with a guy like Zach before. All my previous partners
have been a gentleman both in and out of the bed. But Zach… He’s no
gentleman inside or out of the bedroom, or kitchen counter, and he’s got
more passion and skill than all of my previous guys put together.
He says nothing as he slams the door behind him and stalks towards me.
His chest heaves under his fitted shirt and my mouth waters at knowing
what’s hiding beneath the fabric.
“Zach?” My voice is soft and breathy, exactly what I didn’t want it to
be, but the effect he has that I was afraid of is hitting me full force.
His blue eyes are electric as they stare into mine. They’re full of
something I’ve never seen before—promises or threats, I’m not sure.
My stomach tumbles in anticipation of what he’s going to do.
“Turn around,” he demands and my body reacts on its own.
I expect him to undo my dress, to run the zip down my back, driving me
crazy, but he doesn’t do that. Instead when his fingers find the fabric at the
nape of my neck he pulls. Hard. The sound of ripping fabric fills the room
and I cry out. “Zach, what the hell?” My dress falls to my feet, totally
ruined. I don’t get a chance to dwell on it, because his hand lands on me.
The warmth of his palm and fingers wrap around my neck as he pulls
me back into him. I gasp when he squeezes a little too tightly and his rock
hard cock presses into my arse.
“You’ve been fucking lying to me since the day I found you in my
business. You’ve looked me in the eye knowing exactly who I am, exactly
what I’m hiding, and you’ve said nothing. Not only that but you’ve lied to
my sister. I may not come across like a family orientated kind of guy, but
don’t be fooled. You wrong them, and I’m fucking coming for you.”
“Zach, what are you–”
“The time for you to talk is over, Pussy Cat. You had your chance and
you betrayed me, betrayed us. You want to know what I do to people who
betray me?”
The whisky on his breath fills my nose, but his words… they do little to
scare me off. It’s going to take more than a few threats from a guy I know
better than he thinks I do.
I shake my head slightly, wanting to know what he’s got to say.
 His other hand lifts and brushes my hair away from my ear. My entire
body shudders at his soft touch before his breath skates across my skin as
he speaks.
“I ruin them, Kitten. Ruin. Them.”
A squeal falls from my lips when he spins us and pushes me up against
the wall.
His cold angry eyes bore into mine, but there’s more than that in their
depth. There’s lust. Pure, unfiltered lust. I might be scared right now if that
weren’t there, but it is, and fuck if I’m not prepared for whatever it is he has
in mind for me.
His hands cage me in and his eyes drop from mine. He takes his time
running them over my almost naked body. By removing my dress, he’s
revealed my navy lace lingerie, including garter belt and stockings.
“I’m going to really enjoy this,” he whispers menacingly before
reaching out and tucking his finger in the small piece of fabric between the
cups of my bra and tugging harshly. It doesn’t immediately rip under his
force, but it doesn’t hold out all that long before the fabric is falling free of
my body and the cool air of the room is making my nipples pucker.
“You wear this thing for me?” I don’t answer, just tilt my chin in
defiance. If he thinks he’s going to intimidate me then he’s got another
think coming. I know him better than he thinks I do, and I’m not scared of
him or the words he might spit while he’s drunk and angry. He wants to
take all this out on me, then fine. I deserve it for lying to him. I’ll take
whatever he has. “Did you think that I’d take one look at you like this and
forget all about the lies, the deceit?”
“I wore it for him,” I taunt, enjoying the straining of the muscles in his
neck and the purse of his lips at the thought.
“You just can’t help yourself, can you? Lies, that’s all you’re capable
of.”
“Me? You’re the one who’s been lying to those who love you for years.
So what I didn’t tell you everything, but I also kept your fucking secret,
didn’t I?”
His fingers grip my chin.
“Did I fucking ask you to?” I hold his stare, but I don’t respond. We
both know that he would have if he knew I was friends with his sister.
Without thinking, I lift my hand with the intention of wrapping it
around his neck and pulling his lips down to mine. He’s so fucking close,
his scent is filling my nose and his body heat is burning into me. I need his
taste too.
“No,” he barks. “You don’t get to take what you want tonight.”
His fingers wrap around my waist and I’m turned once again until my
heated breasts are pushed up against the cool wall. I gasp in shock as he
takes both my hands in his. The sound of fabric moving behind me has
butterflies erupting in my belly before the soft fabric of his tie is wrapped
around my wrists. Heat floods my core that I’m about to be totally at his
mercy. He might be in a bad place right now, but fuck if I want to be
anywhere else.
There’s some more rustling and then the heat of his bare skin presses
against my arms, my bound fingers just coming into contact with his still
covered cock. It’s rock hard and straining against the fabric. He growls
when he feels me teasing him, but he doesn’t move.
“You’re at my mercy from now on, you got that?” I nod, turning my
head to the side in the hope I can see him, see the desire that I know is
going to be darkening his eyes.
His fingers run up my arm, dance over my shoulder and up my neck
before they thread into my hair. He grips almost painfully hard and tips my
head to the angle he wants. Dropping his lips to the slope of my neck, his
teeth graze my skin and I shudder.
“You’re a kinky little bitch under that posh exterior, aren’t you, Kitten?”
If he’d asked me that before him, I’d have adamantly denied it, but this isn’t
the first time he’s said something like that and I can’t help but thinking he
might be right. The moisture between my legs is starting to run down my
thighs as he pins me here. I’m so desperate for his touch right now that I’d
probably do just about anything.
“For you, yes.”
“Fuck,” he grunts at my response.
His hand slips around the front of me. He pulls me back into him
slightly so he can palm my breast. I keep my fingers wrapped around his
cock, and if it’s possible it gets even harder as he teases me.
“Fuck, Zach.” My head falls back against his shoulder as he pinches one
nipple and then the next almost to the point of pain. It does nothing to
relieve the situation I’ve got going on in my knickers.
“You’re in for a long night, Tabby Cat.”
 “Yes, yes,” I cry as his hand skims down my stomach and slips into the
lace.
“Hmmm,” he hums in my ear when he finds me freshly waxed before
dipping lower and parting my lips. “Fuck. You’re enjoying this too much.”
He finds me slick and ready for him, embarrassingly so.
His fingers find my throbbing clit and he circles it a few times. I’m
already so worked up that in mere seconds I can feel my impending orgasm
making itself known.
Just when I’m about to begin the final climb towards the mind-numbing
pleasure I know Zach is capable of, his fingers are gone and I’m left with
my head spinning and my muscles clutching at something that no longer
exists.
“Get. On. Your. Knees,” he demands slowly, and with each word my
mouth waters more at the thought of getting a taste of him. He’s been down
on me a number of times, but as of yet, I’ve not had a chance to return the
favour. Right now, I’m more excited about it than I probably should be.
With his help, I turn and lower myself in front of his still fully clothed
bottom half. The outline of his cock is visible beneath the fabric, and I lean
forward and run the tip of my nose up it.
My eyes flick up to his just in time to see his lower at the sensation. I
might have my hands bound right now, but there’s no denying that I’m very
much the one in control in this moment.
I sit back on my heels, my chest heaving, and bite down on my bottom
lip as I wait for him.
He takes two steps back and looks at me, really looks at me. It’s as if
he’s memorising every single part of this moment.
Getting impatient, I squirm, hoping to gain a little friction, but he
notices and arches a brow. It doesn’t have any effect on me, I’m more than
happy to defy him. But the second his hands go to his waistband, I stop all
movement in favour of watching him undress.
He drops his trousers, quickly followed by his boxers, and kicks them
along with his shoes and socks off into the room somewhere.
“Now, where were we?” He takes a step forward and my eyes drop to
his cock. The tip’s glistening, he’s right on the edge just like I am.
Leaning forward, I lick up the precum and his entire body tenses at my
simple touch.
 He moves closer still and gives me a little more to work with. I lick
around his head, revelling in the unique taste of him before he threads his
fingers into my hair and forces me to take him in my mouth. I suck him as
deep as I can before pulling back. He allows me to take as much as I can,
but as his fingers start tightening and his length swells even more, I know
his control is about to snap.
“Kitten,” he grunts, pushing that bit deeper. When I take it he growls
and pushes deeper still. I’m so fucking full of him that my eyes begin to
water as I fight the need to gag around his size.
“Fuck, fuck. I fucking hate you, Kitten. Hate you.” His words are
groaned at best as his cock twitches and he empties himself down my
throat. His grip tightens and the sting added to everything else today has
thrown at me has a tear dropping from each of my closed eyes.
After a couple of seconds, Zach pulls back and looks down at me. I feel
the heat of his stare, but I keep my eyes closed and refuse to look up at him.
“Kitten?” I stay where I am, afraid of what I’ll do or say the second I
look into his eyes.
After a beat, his hands land on my waist and I’m pulled up from my
position on the floor.
“Tabitha?” The concern that laces his voice has me looking at him. He
takes in my tear-stained cheeks and his eyes soften in a way I don’t want or
need. He might be looking at me right now thinking that he’s broken me, or
ruined me in his words, and I guess he has in one way because I know for a
fact that he’s ruined me for anyone else.
My heart aches as I stare at his concerned eyes and I realise for the first
time that as much as I might tell myself that I hate this man in front of me,
the way I actually feel about him is very, very much the opposite. But I also
know that nothing good can come out of me feeling that way. Zach is an
enigma. He lives his life as he wants, he follows no rules and attaches
himself to no one. There’s no way he’d ever return the feelings. He’s got
everything he wants.
Hasn’t he?
I hate that little bit of hope that creeps in. If he had everything then why
does he keep coming back, claiming that I’m his or whatever bullshit he
spews when he’s high on lust?
Two more tears fall as I realise that this is all I’ll ever get of Zach
Abbot. I guess I’ve had more than anyone else. Other than his date?
 “Who is she?” The question is out of my mouth before I even blink.
“Wh–oh. Lana, she’s a friend.” I’m a little taken back that he’s
answered me so honestly.
“So she’s not… you’re not–”
“Never.”
His hand lifts and he cups my cheek. I suck in a surprised breath at his
sudden tenderness. His eyes bounce between mine as if he’s trying to figure
something out, trying to read me.
“I’m so fucking mad at you.” He drops his forehead to mine and blows
out a whisky-scented breath. His other hand grips on to my hip, his fingers
tensing. “I so badly need to…”
“Need to what?” I encourage when he trails off.
His eyes open and find mine. They’re dark, heated and haunted all at the
same time. I can see his inner turmoil. He wants to hurt me. To punish me
for what I did. But he can’t do it.
“I…” Instead of finishing that thought, he pulls my hair so I have no
choice but to look up and offer my lips to him. His slam down on mine and
his tongue invades my mouth. His other hand makes quick work of undoing
the ties keeping my hands bound, and in seconds they’re free and my back
is once again against the wall. He lifts me, my legs immediately wrapping
around his waist, and before I’ve had a chance to register what’s happening,
he’s inside me.
His fingers dig into my arse as he thrusts up into me.
“Oh god,” I cry as my head hits back against the wall, but I feel nothing
aside from what he’s doing to me.
“Nah, devil, remember?” I laugh at his comment. “Oh fuck,” he groans
when my muscles squeeze him tighter. He drops his head onto my shoulder
and sucks on the sensitive skin below my ear. “Come for me, Kitten.”
I follow as ordered, my body desperate for the release. My arms wrap
tighter around his wide shoulders as I prepare for what’s about to hit me.
He thrusts, one, two, three more times and I detonate, his name a loud
cry on my lips, ensuring that our neighbours know what to call him in the
morning.
“Holy shit.” My words are barely above a whisper as I fight to get them
out between my heaving breaths.
“Fuck. Can’t get e-fucking-nough, Kitten.” My chest swells at his
admission as he pulls me from the wall and carries me to the bed, still
inside me and still impossibly hard.
He lowers me down with much more care than I’m sure he would have
done when he first barged into this room not so long ago.
He settles himself between my thighs and wraps my legs around his
hips. His eyes run over the lace that’s still around my waist and down my
thighs. His fingertips follow the edges, making my skin erupt in
goosebumps.
“You should wear stuff like this all the time.”
“Really?” I ask, amusement dancing in my eyes. “I thought you hated
all this fancy kind of shit.”
“This,” he says, snapping one of the straps against my thigh, “this is
different. This is hidden for only me to see. This shit can be as fancy and as
expensive as you damn well please.”
“I’ve got plenty,” I admit, making his eyes light up in delight. “If you’re
lucky you might get to find out.”
“Hmmm, I like the sound of that.” He leans forward and takes my lips
as his hips slowly tease me.
I’m just wondering where his fight has gone when I’m suddenly flipped
over and his hand connects with my bare arse cheek.
His cock impales me from behind and I once again cry out, already
desperate for another release. He fucks me, just like he promised, until I’m
full of him. My body is lax and ready to pass out after the stress of the day,
but one look in his eyes when I flip back over and I know it’s not going to
happen anytime soon.
And it doesn’t. I don’t get to pass out until the sun is almost up and
we’ve fucked on every single surface of that hotel room. At some point he
ordered us drinks and we made our way through a bottle of wine, some of
which is now soaked into the sheets after he tried drinking it from my
bellybutton.
Both still wet from the shower we shared, we fall on to the bed, my hair
dripping over my shoulders, but I’m too exhausted to care.
Zach pulls the sheets up over our naked bodies, and pulls me into him.
Somehow his cock is hard again, but I ignore it this time. I need a few hours
at least.
His hand lands on my cheek as he stares into my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell them?”
“It’s not my secret to tell.”
 “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why would I? You made it clear you hated me and wanted nothing to
do with me.”
“Did I really?” he asks, poking me in the stomach with his cock.
“Hmmm. Yeah, well, I felt like it was too late by the time that
happened.”
“It’s never too late to tell me the truth, Kitten.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, desperately trying to keep my thoughts to
myself.
“Spill,” he says, amusement covering his tired face that’s soon wiped
away when he registers what my words really mean.
“I… I think I’m falling out of hate with you.”
His mouth opens and closes before he swallows and pulls me towards
him to rest his lips on my forehead.
Fuck.

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 30

Zach

“I … I think I’m falling out of hate with you.”

The second those words hit my ears, I’m suddenly wide
awake.
I came here with the intention of teaching her a lesson for lying to me,
for pretending to be something she’s not, and it was all fine until I got one
look at those fucking tears. They fucking broke me. The thought of pushing
her too far damn near ruined me, let alone her. Suddenly everything seemed
a little pointless, my revenge mission felt pathetic. No one had been hurt,
and I’m sure she had her reasons for doing what she did, and at the end of
the day I can’t forget that she kept my secret. She protected me. I’d been
asking myself why all day and I think I might have just got my answer.
There have only ever been a couple of women I’ve been with more than
once over the years, and all of them are ones who share my need to stay
unattached. We work because we use each other for the pleasure we need
before going about our lives. That is, until her. Until Tabitha. Everything
changed the day I walked into the studio and found her there looking like a
member of the royal fucking family. I told myself she didn’t fit, but is the
reality of the situation that she fits there, in my life, more than I ever could
have expected? My studio has been my sanctuary for as long as I can
remember, even before I owned it, but suddenly with her there, it’s
different. And when she’s now not there, fuck, I don’t want to be either, and
that’s something I never thought I’d say.
Her breathing evens out, telling me that she’s succumbed to her
exhaustion after the epic session I put her through. It was nothing like I was
planning when I forced my way into this room but fuck, it was probably
better than that.
Her tear-stained face pops into my head again. It mixes with her
admission and I panic.
If she doesn’t hate me anymore then that means… no, I can’t even go
there.
As gently and as silently as I can, I get myself out of her bed and
scramble around the room to gather up my clothes. I feel like the walls are
closing in on me, and I need to get the fuck out of here.
I still when I pull the door open and it creaks, but there’s no noise or
movement from the bed so I run.
My room is on the floor above. Dressed in just my boxers, I run up the
stairs and pray I don’t bump into anyone who gets up at the arsecrack of
dawn.
Thankfully the hallways are empty and no sooner am I inside my room
than I’m dressed in my normal clothes and shoving everything else into my
bag. I can’t be here. I can’t walk down to breakfast in a few hours and look
at her when I know she’s going to wake up and find me gone. I just can’t do
any of it.
With my bag in hand, I take off. I check out with the half-asleep
member of staff behind the desk and get the fuck out of that hotel and away
from this side of town. I need my space. I need my home. I need the
security of my normal life. Of my secret life.
I run all the way back. My legs ache and my lungs burn as I pull my
keys from my pocket and let myself inside the studio.
I leave all the lights off and go straight for my flat. A place she’s never
been. But… shit. She has, Lana said she’d come here. I might not have seen
it with my own eyes but that doesn’t mean I don’t picture her here. Her
scent is still in my nose, on my skin. If I didn’t know any better, I would
think I could turn around and find her standing in the bedroom doorway,
waiting for me.
Fuck. My head’s a fucking mess.
 I turn the coffee machine on and drop my phone to the side before
stripping out of my clothes once again and heading for the shower. One
that’s not full of her products and her scent.
I scrub every inch of my skin in my attempt to forget. To forget the
broken look on her face. The way her shoulders sagged in defeat. The way
my heart damn near burst out of my chest as I stared down at her, having
achieved what I set out to. I was meant to feel better for teaching her a
lesson, but all I felt was regret. I’d hurt the one person who means
something to me, the only woman to have been more to me than a quick
fuck.
“Fuck,” I scream into the confines of my shower, slamming my palms
against the tiles in frustration.
I can’t have fucking feelings for the woman. She’s everything I don’t
want. She’s from a life I want to forget, not dive straight back into.
Lana’s words come back to me. “Have you ever considered that she
might feel the same? She’s working in your studio, for fuck’s sake. She
might want to rebel from all this just like you. She might actually be your
perfect woman.”
“No, no, no.” I bang my head down again and again, hoping it’ll remove
these kinds of thoughts from my mind. I don’t fucking need this. I don’t
need a distraction, I don’t need a woman, and I certainly don’t need to hand
my fucking bollocks over to one for her to squeeze whenever the fuck she
wants to. I’ve seen it happen time and time again with friends. I want to be
me, live my life, not one that some woman dictates.
When I eventually make it back to the kitchen, I forgo the coffee and
head straight for the bottle of whisky in the cupboard. Hair of the dog, I tell
myself, pretending that it’s not the ache still pulling at my chest from
leaving her that I’m trying to numb.
My phone’s been angrily vibrating on the kitchen counter as I lie on the
sofa, nursing my bottle. I know it’s my mum going crazy because I bailed
on the family breakfast that had been arranged for this morning before
Harrison and Summer headed off on their honeymoon, but quite frankly, I
couldn’t give a shit.
I ignore it the best I can as I run through everything that happened in the
last twenty-four hours. I do everything I can to keep my life as drama free
as possible. I knew the moment I laid eyes on Tabitha that she was going to
be trouble. It’s why I tried to get rid of her.
 I sit up, remembering something from last night. My need to discover
who she really was has me swiping my phone from the side, ordering an
Uber and pulling my shoes on.
I’m down at the door, waiting for the car before it pulls up. Now I’ve
had the idea I’m desperate to try to jog my memory.
My parents’ house is empty, as I was expecting. They’re probably still
smoozing the guests that stayed the night at the hotel. I push the front door
closed behind me, but I don’t look back to see if it’s shut or not. Instead I
head for the stairs. Taking two at a time, I feel like a teenager again, running
away from being told off for not towing the family line. Again.
I push through my bedroom door. It’s exactly as it was the day I moved
out. I expected Mum and Dad to do something with it, not just shut the door
and forget about it.
I pull open my wardrobe door and find a stack of books like I remember
and rummage through until I find the one I want.
Our school yearbook.
The photographs are in alphabetical order, so I don’t need to go far past
my own to find an image of a nondescript mousy brown-haired girl, who I
still don’t recognise, named Tabitha Anderson.
“Jesus.” I rub at my rough jaw as I stare into a pair of grey eyes that
have become so familiar. My heart twists looking into them, despite her
only being sixteen in this photograph.
I sit back on my bed with the book on my lap as I continue staring,
desperately trying to drag up some old memory of her. But there’s nothing.
Guilt pulls at my insides that I don’t remember this girl. This girl who’s
turned into a woman who means more to me than I’m willing to admit.
“You’re a fucking arsehole,” I tell myself.
I’ve treated her like nothing but shit. All the while she’s known exactly
who I am and not told a soul my secret.
It’s a good job I can’t bring myself to admit how I feel, because even if I
did, I wouldn’t deserve her. She needs a decent guy. One who will treat her
the way she deserves, not one who goes storming into her hotel room with
the intention of getting revenge for something that doesn’t really mean
much in the grand scheme of things. My stomach turns over. She would be
much better with Christian. He’s a decent guy. He was decent enough to
escort Tabitha to yesterday’s wedding having only had one date. That’s a
man who knows how to treat a woman, right there.
 At some point I must give in to my exhaustion, because the next thing I
know I’m being woken to the sound of my dad shouting through the house,
asking if anyone’s there before feet pound up the stairs.
“Hello? Is there anyone–”
“Zach,” Mum says on a sigh when she pokes her head around my door
and finds me half asleep on my bed.
“What the hell are you doing here? We thought we’d been bloody
robbed,” Dad barks while Mum must notice the expression on my face and
places her hand on Dad’s forearm to stop him before she comes to sit beside
me.
“Go and make us all a coffee, yeah?” she instructs Dad, who
immediately follows her order like he always does.
Once he’s gone, she turns her soft, kind eyes on me before briefly
glancing down at what’s in my hands.
“Whoa, it’s been a few years since I’ve seen one of these,” she says,
taking it from me and looking at the photographs. “Aw, you were so
handsome, even back then.” She makes it sound like it was a million years
ago. Mind you, considering I’ve been very intimate with a girl I went to
school with yet I don’t remember, maybe it was a million years ago.
“Tabitha was there yesterday, wasn’t she? Did you get a chance to catch
up with her?”
I blow out a long breath as I try to figure out exactly how to answer that
question.
“I really need to get going.”
“What’s going on, Zach? You missed breakfast this morning and now
this? Talk to me, please,” she begs, her eyes soft and beginning to fill with
tears. Unable to watch someone else I care about cry in front of me, I get up
from the bed.
“It’s… nothing. I just couldn’t remember who she was is all. Fancied a
trip down memory lane.”
“Do you want some food before you go?”
“No, I’m good. I just need to…” I trail off, not really having an answer,
just needing to get the hell out of here.
“Okay, well. We’re here if you need us,” Mum says sadly.
I nod. It’s all I’m capable of as I once again walk away from both my
parents and the house. Why do I find it so hard to confide in them? Why do
I keep this wall up between us like I’m trying to use it to protect myself?
 I stop at the shop on the way home for some food, but most importantly,
some more whisky. I’m not working tonight so I intend on getting wasted in
the hope I can forget all this bullshit ever happened.
My next client isn’t until Wednesday night, so as I lock the door behind
me, I vow not to step foot back through it, or even open it again until I’m
needed downstairs.

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 31

Tabitha

I ’m expecting it, but still, waking to find the other side of the bed cold
fills me with dread. I knew I’d ruined everything the moment those
words slipped past my lips. It’s his fault. He told me to be honest, so
that’s what I did. It’s not my fault he couldn’t handle the truth.
I roll onto my back and wonder at what point everything went so wrong.
I think it might have been the night I let him into my flat while Danni was
sleeping in my guest room.
I lie there for the longest time before I drag my arse from the bed to find
out that the breakfast that’s been booked for all the staying guests starts in
thirty minutes. That’s assuming I’m brave enough to show my face. Both
Zach and Danni will be there, and I’m guessing neither will want me to join
them.
After swallowing a couple of painkillers to hopefully numb my
pounding head, I have the most depressing shower of my life as I remember
vividly what happened in here only hours ago.
I rinse the lingering scent of him from my body before quickly blow
drying my hair and applying just enough make up to cover the evidence of
my serious lack of sleep last night.
Wearing a pair of jeans and a violet jumper, I head down to where the
breakfast is being served. As I expected everyone is already seated and
tucking into their food, which I can’t deny smells incredible.
I look around at all the happy faces as they relive yesterday’s events
before I find the happy couple. They look like they’re on top of the world.
Beside them, Zach’s parents look equally as thrilled. Danni, however, just
stares down at her plate while poking at whatever’s sitting there uneaten.
She must feel my stare because after only a few seconds, she glances up at
me. Our eyes hold. Everything I want to say to her, all the apologies I need
to give her are right on the end of my tongue. I manage to pull my eyes
away and find the seat next to hers is empty. Is that where he should be
sitting? And if so, where is he? I assumed he’d gone back to his room,
wherever it is, but has he run further than that? My heart sinks.
I look back to Danni who shakes her head at me in disappointment. My
feet move, but they don’t take me the way I need to go. Instead I find
myself heading back up to my room with a lump in my throat the size of a
fucking basketball. I pack up my few belongings and get the hell out of that
hotel, thankfully without bumping into any of the wedding guests, or at
least any I recognise. My Uber is waiting right outside the entrance for me.
I jump in and confirm my address before sitting back and wishing I could
rewind time.
“Would you be able to pull over here please?” I ask when he heads
toward a corner shop by my house. “I’ll just be a couple of seconds.”
He doesn’t look happy about it but he agrees and pulls over. I hop out
and race around the shop to grab what I need.
Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting on my sofa, one of my favourite old
films playing on the TV, wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt,
and I’m digging onto a huge tub of cookie dough ice cream. I’d usually
accompany it with a bottle of wine, but seeing as I consumed enough to
stock a small bar last night, and it’s not even midday yet, I forgo it. For now
at least.
I think back over last night. Zach looked wild when he first pushed
himself into my room, and I can’t deny that even now, the memory of his
dark eyes has flutters erupting in my belly.
I shove another spoonful of cold goodness into my mouth. The moment
I realised just what I felt for him hit me like a fucking truck at exactly the
wrong time. He was trying to hurt me for lying to him. He wanted to break
me, and I guess in a way he did. One moment I realised that I’d fallen in
love with him and the next my heart was shattering because I knew he’d
never feel the same. He came to hurt me, for fuck’s sake.
But something happened in those next few moments. Something that
had my heart racing and for the mask that he’d pulled on to slip. He went
from a monster on a mission to the Zach I’ve had little glimpses at over the
past few weeks. The softer side, the one who isn’t always in charge of
everything, isn’t always untouchable. In just those couple of moments, I
thought I had him. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the way
our bodies moved together. It’s something, something special, something
more than just two people coming together in the heat of the moment.
When he looked into my eyes as he told me to be honest, there was more
there. There were promises he was terrified to make, a future he was
terrified to think about, I’m sure of it. And then I went and opened my big
fucking mouth and ruined everything we’d built in the last few hours.
Getting up, I dig my phone out from the bottom out of my bag, hoping
that I might have something from him, or Danni, but the only name that
stares back at me is another that I only feel guilty about.
Christian.
I never should have invited him yesterday. Not that I could have ever
imagined that he knew Zach and was going to make the situation a million
times worse. I don’t think I could have chosen a worse fake date if I’d tried.
Swiping my phone, I stare down at his words.

Christian: I hope everything worked out ok after I left.

My thumb hovers over the keyboard as I try to come up with something

positive to say. Seeing him leave with the woman he’d been chatting to
most of the night made me felt a little less guilty about dragging him into
my mess in the first place. At least he might have got something out of
yesterday, even if I’m sitting here with a gaping hole in my chest.

Tabitha: Everything worked out as it should be. I hope you had a great
night.

Christian: It was great, thank you ;-)

 I can’t help but smile at his winky face. He’s a good guy and deserves a
good woman in his life, one who’s not going to use him like I did.
While I’ve got my phone in my hand, I send a message to Danni. I’ve
got no idea what to say, so I keep it simple and just send, I’m sorry. I offer
to explain all, but I’m not expecting for her rush over here to hear me out.
I spend the rest of the day digging to the bottom of my tub of ice cream
before pulling up an app on my phone and ordering myself Chinese for
dinner. If I’m going to wallow in self-pity, I may as well do it with
unhealthy, fatty food.
When I eventually fall into bed, I’m numb. It’s exactly what I need, but
the second I fall asleep, I’m assaulted by dreams of him and what could
never be.

I don’t step foot out of my flat for the next six days. I put off the meeting
I’m meant to have with my lecturer at uni. I unplug my home phone, not
that it ever rings aside from nonsense calls about the accident I’ve never
been in, and I keep my mobile on silent. The couple of times I’ve checked
it, no one wanted me. Until Thursday night when I didn’t show up to my
shift at Rebel Ink. I debated it, a lot. I could turn up, hold my head high, and
like all the other times, pretend nothing had happened. Or I could accept my
fate. Zach doesn’t want me there, he never has. So now’s as good a time as
any to finally listen to all the times he’s not so bluntly told me to leave and I
do just that. Silently.
Thursday and Friday night, my phone is almost constantly alight with
messages and calls from both Titch and D, but I refuse to answer any of
them, deciding, with the help of a bottle of wine each night, that they’re
better off without me. Zach wants nothing to do with me and nor does
Danni. I’m sure they’ll only agree with them once they discover the truth.
The only good thing about my week in solitude is that I complete the
uni project I’ve been working on for forever.
I sit back on the old sofa in my studio and stare at the three canvases,
finally happy with the outcome.
I sip at my wine and look over every inch of the paint before me as
thoughts about my future enter my mind. Soon I’ll be finished and I’ll no
longer be able to say I’m a student. Sure, I could do more, but even I’m
starting to think my parents are right and that I’m just using this as an
excuse to waste time. I love art, I love doing it, looking at it, learning about
it, but really, what am I going to do next? Going to join my dad in a
successful company where I can make a good life for myself would be the
easiest option, but it’s an option I still have no desire for.
I think back to that final conversation with my gran. “Follow your heart
and just breathe. Spread your wings and fly, Tabby Cat.”
I blow out a long breath as I try to figure out what that means for me
now. I may have those words tattooed on my body, but I’m no closer to
figuring out what I should do once I’ve taken that breath. My heart still
beats with him inside it, but I’m not stupid enough to know that running
after that dream would only lead me to a dead end. He’s made it clear time
after time that there’s no future for the two of us. There wasn’t really a past,
if I’m being honest. Just a girl who got swept away by the bad boy. Fucking
hell, I’m such a cliché.
My buzzer going off drags me from my thoughts, and I push myself up
from the sofa to see who’s here. I’ve ordered dinner but I’m not expecting it
to be here yet. My only other thought is that it’s my parents after realising
that I’ve disappeared off the face of the earth, but I find that hard to believe.
We can go months without talking, a few days is a drop in the ocean.
I push the button to talk to whoever it is. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” a soft, familiar voice says. “I think we need to talk.” My heart
pounds in my chest as I let my best friend up into my flat. I’ve reached out
to her a couple of times this week, but all my messages have gone
unanswered.
I open the door to allow her inside before turning to get a glass of wine.
“Hey,” she says awkwardly as she joins me in the kitchen.
“Hey.” I lift my arm to pass her the glass, but she shocks me by walking
straight up to me, her eyes full of unshed tears. I have no choice but to put
the glass to the counter as she wraps her arms around me.

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 32

Zach

W ednesday afternoon comes around all too quick. I’ve spent a

solid three days inside my flat. I’ve got up to date with the
boring part of my business that involves invoicing, health and
safety and insurances that have been hanging around on my to do list for
too long. But mostly I’ve drunk and I’ve drawn. I’ve been so busy since…
well, since I first took over this place that aside from time sitting on flights
back and forth to the US I’ve not had time to sit and do what I love. Draw. I
end up with a sketchbook full of tattoo ideas, both for me and others, and I
hate to admit it, but most have been sketched with her in mind. No matter
how much I tell myself that walking away from her was the right thing to
do, she’s right there at the forefront of my mind taunting me and telling me
that I made a mistake.
I’ve picked up my phone to call her more times than I want to admit.
And every time my phone’s vibrated signalling an incoming call or text my
heart’s jumped into my throat, thinking that it’s her. I don’t even care at this
point that she’ll be contacting me to give me a tongue-lashing for my
behaviour. Actually, the thought gets me quite excited.
Rearranging myself in my trousers at the thought of getting the chance
to argue with her, I push myself from the sofa and prepare to go and meet
my client. The young woman’s coming back so I can complete her angel
wings. With a coffee in hand, I make my way down to the studio.
It seems I’m not the first one here because the lights are already on and
there’s a faint buzzing coming from Titch’s room.
“Morning, boss,” comes from the kitchen as I’m standing staring at
Tabitha’s desk like a fucking loser.
I tip my chin at D in greeting, but he frowns as he takes me in.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, never better,” I lie. “Got a busy day?”
“Nah, just a couple this afternoon then I’m off early.”
I nod, give him a smile that I don’t feel and head for my room. D’s been
a part of my life for too long now. He was Jon’s uncle, but he adopted me
into this life pretty early on and he’s been there for me like family ever
since.
“Zach,” he calls when I’ve got my hand on the handle of my door. I
look back to find him not far behind me. “I’m here, yeah. If you need
anything.”
I nod again, unable to say any words for fear of the truth about how I’m
feeling to come tumbling out. I shut myself in my room to get prepped.
The ding of the front door being pushed open sounds out only twenty
minutes later, and I head out to great her.
I find her sitting on the edge of one of the sofas, chewing on her nails. If
it’s possible, she looks even more nervous than last time.
“You know, I’m pretty sure it’s meant to get easier each time,” I say,
leaning my hip against the wall as I study her. Her blue eyes fly up to mine
and her lips part in shock like she didn’t hear me coming.
“Oh… um… yeah, you’re probably right. I’ve never been one to do
things the way I should though.”
I smile at her, knowing the feeling well. “Right, well… are you ready to
get this over with then?”
She nods, and I turn to head back to my room, but not before I swear I
hear her mutter that it’s about time.
I ignore her, assuming it’s just her fear talking, and hold the door open
for her to join me.
“You know what to do.” I gesture for the bed and move to grab my
stool. As she lifts her top to give me access to her back, I notice that her
entire body is trembling with fear. “We don’t have to do this today if you’re
not ready,” I offer, worried about her state of mind right now.
“No. I need to get this over with.”
“Okay. If you need me to stop, all you need to do is say.” She nods and
gets herself into position.
I hesitantly get started, expecting her to call me off any second, but she
just lies there as I do my worst.
I’m getting toward the end when I feel eyes on me. Looking up, I find
her staring over her shoulder at me, but she’s so lost to whatever it is that’s
in her head, she doesn’t even notice my attention. I allow myself a second
to take her in. Her eyes are light blue, but her hair is so dark it’s almost
black. She looks much younger than she is, if her ID was to be believed,
and although she’s pretty I’d be more tempted to describe her as cute seeing
as she looks so young.
She eventually comes back to herself and gasps in shock when she finds
me studying her. For someone so small and cute, it’s impossible to miss the
strength she has. There’s something in those blue eyes which tells me she’s
not the naïve young woman some people might mistake her for. I’m under
no illusion that all this ink is her armour, and one she wears very well.
“Sorry,” I mutter, focusing back on what I should be doing.
Suddenly I have this almost uncontrollable need to ask her questions.
Real questions about her life and how she’s found herself here, but I bite my
tongue. That’s not how I usually operate, I do my thing and only talk if my
client is the one who sparks up a conversation.
While I’m working, the time seems to drag, but the second I pull back
from her body, I realise it was over in a flash.
“Okay, you are done.” A sad smile curls at her lips as she lies there.
“You want to see before I wrap it?”
She nods and scoots off the bed so she can stand in front of the mirror. I
hold another up before her so she can see. Her breath catches the second she
locks eyes on it, and they immediately fill with tears.

“Who’s it for?” I don’t mean to ask, it’s none of my business, but the words
fall from my lips without permission.
 Her eyes find mine in the mirror and all the colour drains from her face.
She sucks in a long breath before cursing.
“I’m so sorry. I never wanted it to be this way.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The wings. They’re for… they’re for our mum.”
Silence fills the room, but neither of us breaks our eye contact in the
mirror as her words settle around us.
Our mum.
Our mum?
I laugh. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She spins, and the second I get a look at the fear on her face everything
inside me clenches. My fists curl and my short nails dig into my palms. My
first instinct is to kick her out, forcibly if it means she leaves, but for some
reason my body doesn’t react. My heart races and my head spins as I
continue staring into her apprehensive eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t want to do it like this. But I…”
“Fuck,” I shout, my hands coming up to grip my hair as Kas jumps back
like I’m about to hit her. What the fuck?
I look up at her. Her eyes are wide, her arms wrapped around her chest
protectively as if I’m about to lash out. It’s enough to drag me from my own
head for a second.
The silence aside from our heavy breathing is suffocating as we stare at
each other, her eyes begging me to believe her and my head not knowing
what the fuck is going on.
Things I’ve heard my whole life start to run through my head. It’s been
a running joke between me and Harrison for as long as I can remember that
I’m the milkman’s kid, seeing as I’m the only one with less than zero
interest in the family business. Where everyone else has dark eyes and hair,
here I am with blonde and baby blues. No one’s ever confirmed anything
and my parents have loved me the same as the others, but there’s always
been that slight seed of doubt in my mind. But as Kas stands here waiting
for my response, I can’t help that seed suddenly exploding to a full-blown
fucking tree inside me.
I don’t need to hear any more to know she’s telling the truth. I feel it.
There was something about her the first time she turned up, how scared she
was, the way she studied me when she thought I wasn’t watching
 I stumble back and fall down onto the chair as I try to process what she
just said.
Our mum.
Our mum.
“Zach, I’m—”
“My sister?” I finish for her, my brows draw together in confusion as I
try to process all this.
She nods. “I know this is a shock but I… I couldn’t be alone any
longer.” Her voice cracks and when I look up I’m struck with just how hard
all of this must be for her. Whether what she’s saying is true or not, she’s
fucking drowning, and I feel like I’m watching it happen. Standing, I pull
her into my arms and hold her tightly while she cries.
My heart thunders as she trembles against me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I can’t… I can’t do this.” Before I’ve
registered what’s going on, she’s out of my arms and running from my
studio.
“Kas, wait,” I call, but it’s no use. She’s too fast. The front door slams,
and by the time I get out there I’ve no clue which way she’s gone.
As I stand in reception alone, the weight of what she just told me really
hits me.
“Motherfucker,” I shout, kicking the coat stand that’s in the corner. I
watch it sway and crash to the floor seconds later. Not satisfied with that, I
clear everything from the top of Tabitha’s desk and send a bookcase full of
magazines crashing to the floor.
“What the fu—” Titch and D come racing from their rooms at the same
time and come to a stop side by side in the entrance to the reception.
“Zach?”
I roar in frustration, as I storm towards the door to my flat. “Leave me
the fuck alone,” I bark over my shoulder, successfully stopping them from
following me.
My chest is heaving like I’ve just run a fucking marathon when I fall
back against the inside of my door. My life is falling apart and connecting
in equal measures as I think over my life and how I’ve never felt like I’ve
fitted in.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I find my parents’ number and hit
call. I’ve no clue which one of them might answer, or if they’re even in, but
I don’t give a fuck right now. I just need an answer.
 “Hello?” My dad’s voice booms down the line, and it’s like a knife to
the chest. I just about keep myself standing, knowing the conversation that’s
about to commence.
“We’re you ever going to tell me?” My voice is much steadier than I
was expecting.
“Tell you what, son?” he asks innocently, but I don’t miss the slight
waver in his voice. It’s all I need to confirm what I already know. She was
telling the truth.
My knees give, and I slide down the door until I’m on my arse.
“Did you think I’d never find out? That your lies would never catch up
with you?”
“Zach.” The way he says my name, the softness to it, has a lump
forming in my throat. “I think maybe you should come here and we can talk
about this in person.”
Red hot anger like I’ve never experienced before explodes in my belly.
“You’ve been lying to me my whole fucking life. I’m not listening to a
fucking word you’ve got to say, let alone following your damn orders. Who
was she?” I demand.
“Zach, please. I’m not doing this down the phone. Tell me where you
are and I’ll come to you.”
“Fuck you, old man. Fuck. You.”
The phone in my hand goes flying across the room and shatters against
the wall. Who the fuck does he think he is to start making demands when
he’s the one who’s spent the last twenty-seven fucking years lying?
I’m up off the floor before I’ve realised I’ve moved, and the washing up
that was sitting on the drainer flies off in all directions as I sweep my arm
along the counter. Glasses and plates smash, but the sound isn’t satisfying in
the least, not like I hoped. Ripping the door open to where I’ve got alcohol,
I pull out a bottle, not even noticing what it is. Twisting the top, I take a
long pull. The strength of it burns my throat as I swallow, but it’s not
enough to stop me having more.

OceanofPDF.com
 33

Tabitha

“I ’m so sorry,” Danni says between sniffs when she pulls back

from me. “Is that for me?” She nods at the glass of wine and I
push it towards her, confused as to how this is going to go down.
I thought she was going to turn up and shout at me.
I watch as she drinks half the wine in one go. “You’ve got some
explaining to do.”
I follow her as she walks toward my sofas with her wine in hand. She
takes the left-hand one, curling her legs beneath her and getting comfortable
so I take the right.
“Start at the beginning,” she demands, and so I do.
I forget all about any fucked-up loyalty I had for Zach and I tell her
everything about his business and what he does with his life. Pride fills her
eyes as I explain the success he’s had and how his business is thriving not
only here but in his American studios as well.
“Well, fuck me. I didn’t think he had it in him,” she says, downing the
last of her wine before getting up to retrieve the bottle I stupidly left in the
kitchen.
“He’s got a lot in him that you probably don’t know about,” I mutter,
more to myself than her, my cheeks heating as I think of some of the time
we spend together.
 “So about that. How’d you end up…” she waves her hand around, not
wanting to say the words.
I cringe as I think about our first time, but this is time for me to be
honest so I decide not to hold back on any details.
“I was in the next fucking room. You dirty bitch,” Danni squeals.
“I just can’t—couldn’t,” I correct when I remember that it’s over, “help
myself.” I sigh, remembering his touch like it was only yesterday. Craving
it like I might get to experience it again. But he’s made his choice, and I’m
not the kind of woman who goes crawling after a man who clearly doesn’t
want her, no matter how good the orgasms are.
The whole time we’re talking, my phone is going crazy. “Are you going
to get that at any point?” Danni asks, looking over to where it’s vibrating
against the kitchen counter.
“It’s just the guys wanting to know why I didn’t come back to work.”
“You didn’t tell them you were done?”
“No, I thought I’d leave it up to the boss to explain how he fucked up.”
“Fair enough. Seems like they miss you.”
I blow out a breath. “I miss them too. I loved working there, spending
time with the guys. Something about it just felt so right.”
“And you’re allowing my dickhead of a brother to ruin that for you? I
thought you were stronger than that.”
“I’m not going back there when he clearly doesn’t want me.”
Silence falls between us, but the concern that’s been on Danni’s face
since the moment she walked into my flat is still there.
“My parents are worried. Something’s going on. They won’t tell me
what, but they’ve fallen out and they can’t reach him.”
A bitter laugh bubbles up my throat. “So that’s why you’re being so
nice all of a sudden? You need me to get to him.” I realise my mistake the
second the words are out of my mouth, because her face drops.
“Biff, no. I was angry on Saturday night, unbelievably so, but it was a
crazy day and emotions were running high. I’ve had a few days to think and
I’ve realised that I might have jumped off the deep end slightly. Zach’s
always been… mysterious. He’s never given himself to us completely and
always held such a huge part of himself back. I shouldn’t have expected you
to sell him out the second you learned the truth. I know you’re a better
friend than that. Of course it hurts that you kept secrets from me, but I
understand. I get why you did it, and I know I shouldn’t hold it against you.
Fucking him while I was in the next room though… that’s an entirely
different situation.” She can’t hold her smile in and after a second it curls at
her lips.
She goes to say more but is interrupted by my buzzer ringing.
“That’ll be my dinner. There’s enough to share if you want some.”
“Yep, I’m starving.”
I get up to allow the delivery in, pressing my finger on the button
without bothering to speak. I don’t think anything of it until a thundering
knock sounds out on my front door.
“Biff, open up,” a familiar voice booms.
My brows draw together. I know they want me to come back, but I’m
not really sure a home visit on a busy Friday night is necessary.
Knowing I can’t ignore him when he’s standing the other side of my
front door, I walk over and pull it open.
Titch comes barrelling inside before I’ve even said a word.
“I need you to come to the studio,” he demands without so much as
looking around.
“I’m sorry, but I’m done. He’s—”
“A fucking mess, Biff. I can’t get him to come out of his flat. He’s been
in there since fucking shit up in the studio on Wednesday. He won’t listen to
us. But I have a feeling he’ll listen to you.”
My heart starts to race as I put Titch’s words together with what Danni
just said. “What’s happened?”
I don’t hear Danni’s footsteps until she’s right behind me.
“What’s going— You, what the fuck are you doing here?” I look over
my shoulder to find her staring daggers at Titch. Her voice, which was
concerned, suddenly turned to ice when she realised who I was talking to.
I look back to Titch, whose eyes are wide and lips parted in shock. “Dan
—”
“Don’t,” she barks in a tone I’ve never heard from her before. I look
back and forth between them, expecting one of them to fill in the blanks for
me, but neither does as they just stare at each other, their bodies set as if
they’re about to fight any second.
“Err… what the fuck is going on right now?”
“Nothing,” Danni snaps, dragging her eyes from Titch and back to me.
They soften and wordlessly beg me not to keep prying.
 Titch seems to snap himself out of his trance without Danni’s eyes on
him, and he remembers why he’s here.
“Will you please just come and try to talk to him? He’ll listen to you.”
I shake my head. “He won’t. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Do you really believe that?” he asks, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Zach’s been with a lot of women over the years. Sorry,” he adds when the
colour drains from my face at the thought. “But I’ve never seen him like he
was with you.”
“You only saw us arguing.”
“Exactly. He cared enough to keep you around to argue with. He could
have got rid of you that first day he found you, but he didn’t.” I keep my
mouth firmly shut instead of pointing out that he would have done if I
weren’t so damn stubborn and insisted on going back. “Please, Biff. He
needs you, I know it.”
I look at Danni. “You should go. Everyone’s clearly worried.”
I blow out a frustrated breath that after the way he’s treated me I’m still
willing to go and drag him out of whatever mess he’s found himself in.
“Fine,” I mutter. “You coming?” I ask Danni as I grab a pair of boots from
the hall cupboard and tug them on.
She looks to Titch and then back to me. “I’ll… uh… wait here, if that’s
okay? Wait for you to get back.”
“You just want the dinner,” I joke. I can tell by the look on her face that
she’s as concerned about her brother as Titch is right now.
“Call me if you need me to leave, or need anything.” She hands my
phone over. I take it and slip it into my pocket.
“Let’s go before I change my mind.”
I follow Titch out. Silence hangs heavy between us as we make the
short walk to the studio.
“What’s happened?” I ask again when we’re almost there.
“I have no idea. He had a client Wednesday afternoon and freaked the
fuck out the second she left. He’s been weird since the wedding, but things
went nuclear on Wednesday.”
“The wedding was my fault,” I admit.
“Why?”
“I was there. He realised that I’d been lying to him since we met.”
“Go on,” Titch encourages, anger tinging his usually calm voice.
“We went to school together. He just didn’t remember me.”
 “Oh shit, girl. No wonder he hated you and wanted you gone.” He
sounds more shocked than he should be.
I sigh, sadly unable to disagree with him. I was a threat and although he
didn’t know the severity of it until Saturday, something within him
understood.
The studio is all lit up and open as if nothing out of the ordinary is
going on inside. Titch pushes the front door open, and the familiar ding of
the bell fills my ears. It’s been a week since I was here last, but even still
I’m hit with a wave of nostalgia. No matter what happens from here on out,
this place has given me something I never thought I’d get to experience. It
allowed me to be me for the first time. I think it’s the reason Zach and I
connected the way we did. The two of us aren’t so different with wanting to
break away from our families, he just had no clue I was just like him.
Titch walks us straight through reception and I get a little taste of what
he was talking about. My desk is empty, and a pile of magazines and books
sit where an old bookcase used to be. He doesn’t stop until we’re at the top
of the stairs and standing before the door keeping me from Zach.
“Go on…” Titch whispers.
I bite down on my bottom lip as I try to figure out what the hell I’m
meant to say. Having a clue as to why he’s locked himself in here in the first
place would help.
Sucking in a breath, I lift my hand to knock.
The silence continues for a few seconds, so I try again. That seems to
wake the beast.
“Fuck. Off.” A pang hits me in the chest at the pain in his voice. It
might have only been two angry words, but I heard it nonetheless.
“Zach, it’s me. Tabitha.”
Silence. Yet I can’t help but think he’s listening.
“Everyone’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”
Silence.
“If this is about Saturday, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know I
should have told you but I knew… I knew you’d hate me.” I laugh. “More
than you already did, more than you already do.” I sigh. “Could you just let
me in? We need to know you’re okay.”
Silence.
“Zach, I swear to fucking god that if you don’t open this door then I’m
going to get D to break it the fuck down,” Titch barks, clearly losing
patience with his best friend’s antics.
“Do what the fuck you like, I don’t give a shit.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Titch says so only I can hear.
“Haven’t you got a spare key or something?”
“Yeah, but he’s double locked it from the inside. It does fuck all.”
I try begging for a few more minutes, but it’s pointless. He’s not going
to open the door for me or anyone.
“Go and get D,” I demand loud enough for Zach to hear, getting more
and more concerned the longer I stand here. The few words he has said
don’t sound anything like him. I’m not leaving this place until I see him,
and I don’t give a shit if that means we take this door off.
“Don’t say we didn’t fucking warn you,” Titch bellows, thundering
down the stairs to get reinforcements.
The second he’s gone, I hear movement. “Zach, it’s just me. Please,
open the door. Let me see you. Let me touch you,” I add, trying for a
different angle.
The click of a lock turning is so loud in the empty space around me that
it makes me jump. Seconds later, the door cracks open. He pulls it just wide
enough for me to slip inside before slamming it shut once again.
The flat is in darkness with only a small side light on in the corner, but
that’s not the most noticeable thing. The entire place is trashed.
“Fuck, Zach. What’s—” My words falter when I get a look at him.
“Fuck.” He’s wearing only a pair of grey joggers, his sculpted chest and abs
on full display, but I don’t pay attention like I usually would because it’s his
eyes that draw me in. The usually glistening blue is hard and cold. Deep
frown lines mar his forehead. His hair is a mess like he’s spent the past
week running his fingers through it, and he’s grown almost a full on beard.
My eyes flick over the rest of him before stopping on his bruised and
bloodstained knuckles.
Reaching out, I take one of his hands into mine inspect the damage. His
breath catches at my contact, and I look back up to his sad face.
I take a step forward until his body heat hits mine and run my palm up
his chest until it comes to a rest, cupping his cheek. He leans into my touch,
and it’s in that moment that I know I’ve got him.
Our eyes hold, his breaths increasing with just our innocent contact. In
that moment, I can’t help feeling like I’m his lifeline. It’s a heady feeling,
knowing that I can have such an effect on such an enigma.
 He stiffens at the sound of footsteps heading up the stairs. “It’s okay,” I
whisper, afraid that he’s going to freak out and kick me back out.
“Tabitha?” Titch calls.
“It’s okay. I’m inside. Go back to work. I’ve got this.”
“You sure?”
“More than sure. I’ll let you know if we need anything.”
He still stands frozen to the spot until the sound of the door shutting to
the studio downstairs echoes around us. Then it all happens at once. His
hands land on my waist, his lips press to mine, and I’m guided back until he
finds a surface to press me up against.
His hands are everywhere as if he can’t get enough of me as his mouth
desperately assaults mine. His tongue pushes past my lips, searching mine,
and I hungrily suck it deeper, craving his taste, his touch, just as much as he
is mine.
I’ve no clue what’s happened to put that look on his face, but I already
know that I’ll do whatever it takes to help wipe it away.
“Tabby Cat,” he groans, almost in amazement as he brushes kisses
across my jaw.
“I’m here. I’m here,” I repeat, lightly grazing my nails up and down his
back so he feels me.
“I need you. I need you so fucking bad.” The honesty in his tone knocks
the wind out of me.
“I’m here. Take what you need.” I’m not sure I’ve ever said more
honest words. Anything I can do right now to make whatever is eating him
better, I will.
“Fuck. I don’t deserve this… you.”
“I’m here. Stop questioning it.”
He pulls back and looks into my eyes for a beat. For a second, I think
he’s going to pull away, but then he blinks and I get a look at the Zach I
know, the Zach I’ve fallen too hard for despite everything. His eyes alight
with excitement and a cocky smirk pulls at his lips.
“Fuck,” he grunts before his lips find mine once again. His tongue
plunges into my mouth and he kisses me like it’s our first. Like he’s
exploring me for the first time, and I lap it up.
His hand finds its way under the hem of my oversized hoodie and he
groans in delight when he finds I’m only wearing a thin crop top beneath.
His fingers dive under the elastic band, and in seconds he’s cupping my
breast in his palm.
A loud sigh falls from my lips before he pinches my nipple and a spark
shoots down between my legs.
“God, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you against me, feel you
coming around me.” His words are like fuel to my already out of control
flames.
“Yes, yes.”
I pull my hand around from his back and find his hard length. I rub him
over the fabric and delight in watching his eyes shutter with pleasure.
“It’s been too long since I’ve had you, Kitten. Too. Fucking. Long.”
His hand leaves my breast in favour of dropping lower. He makes quick
work of pushing past my waistband, and before I get a chance to breathe,
he’s parting me and dipping his fingers into my heat.
“So fucking wet. So fucking addictive.” He plunges two fingers deep
inside me. He finds my g-spot almost instantly, and before I know what’s
happening, he’s teasing me closer and closer to release.
“No,” he barks, startling me. And then his fingers are gone. “When you
come, it’s around my cock.”
I nod eagerly, loving the image he paints.
“What are you waiting for?”
“For you to change your mind.”
His moment of honesty is like a bucket of cold water.
“W-what?” I look at him, really look at him. All his barriers are down.
He’s standing before me, naked and scared as fuck. Scared to feel this thing
between us. Scared to believe it’s real, that I can really be standing here
giving him a lifeline while he’s going through whatever it is that’s happened
in the last few days.
I close the space between us, lifting my hands to his rough cheeks, and
stare into his eyes. “I’m not backing down if you don’t.”
“Fucking hell, Kitten. You fucking rip me wide open, you know that?”
I shake my head. “Show me.” I squeal when he reaches down, grabs my
arse and lifts me.
His hand finds its way into my hair and he tips my head to expose my
neck. He kisses, licks and sucks his way along the sensitive skin as he
carries me toward his bedroom.
 “Oh god,” I moan, his kiss alone building me back up. My hips thrust
against him, trying to find some friction to ease the unbearable ache he’s
causing.
Releasing my legs, he allows me to slide down his body. His hands run
up from my hips, over my waist and brush over my breasts as he lifts my
hoodie over my head and drops it to the floor. My crop top follows. No
sooner has the fabric passed my breasts than his lips are wrapping around
one of my nipples and sucking it deep into his mouth.
My head falls back as I focus on the feeling of his mouth and hands on
me. It’s a feeling I’m never going to tire of, I already know that.
He releases my nipple with a pop before kissing down my stomach,
curling his fingers in the waistband of my leggings and pulling them and
my knickers down my thighs.
They’re still around my ankles when he gently pushes against my hips
until I fall down to the bed behind me. He pulls the fabric free before
parting my ankles as wide as they’ll go and licking up the length of me.
My hips buck from the bed as the sensation hits all my nerve endings.
“Zach, fuck.”
My words of encouragement spur him on. Two fingers slip inside me as
he ups the ante on my clit. My fingers delve into his hair and pull, keeping
him exactly where he is.
He doesn’t let up until I’m about to fall over the edge, but unlike last
time, I’m expecting him to pull away, and I can’t argue because if his
reasoning for doing it before was true, then I’m about to get something even
better.
He stands from between my thighs, wipes his mouth with the back of
his hand and pushes his thumbs into the waistband of his joggers.
My eyes drop down and take in every line and indentation of his body
before he drops the fabric and reveals his steel length. My mouth waters as I
remember just how he tasted when he was deep inside my mouth. Right
now, I might need him between my legs more than my next breath, but fuck
if I don’t want to do that again.
“Fuck, you’re remembering what it was like to have me in your mouth,
aren’t you?” My eyes fly up to his, shocked that my thoughts must be
written all over my face.
My cheeks heating are my only response. He crawls onto the end of the
bed, and I’m unable to do anything but watch as he settles between my
thighs and takes himself in his hand.
The muscles in his neck strain as he works himself.
“Zach, please. Please, I need to feel you.”
His eyes darken at my demand. “Feel me where?”
“Inside me, stretching me, filling m—” I don’t get to finish because he
thrusts forward, filling me to the hilt in one quick movement.
I cling onto his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as he embarks
on a punishing rhythm that has me soaring towards release in mere seconds.
His fingers dig into my hips and he thrusts into me again and again as
he chases his demons away.
“Fuck, fuck, Tabby cat,” he groans. Sweat beads his brow as he releases
one hand and presses his thumb to my clit. “Come,” he demands, and I
can’t do anything but follow orders when he slams into me one more time.
I cry out his name as pleasure detonates within me and spreads all the
way to my fingers and toes. He doesn’t let up his movement for a few more
seconds, then his entire body stills before he growls out his release and his
cock twitches violently inside me, filling me with everything he has.
He almost immediately falls down onto me and tucks his head into my
shoulder. His breaths rush out against me making goosebumps prick my
already heated skin.
With my hands trailing up and down his back, he stays there for the
longest time. Having his weight on me feels incredible but as amazing as it
might be, us lying here isn’t going to solve whatever it is that has him
locked up in here while he takes his anger out on the furniture and his fists.
“Zach,” I whisper, not wanting to startle him in case he’s starting to
drift, although from the amount he seems to have on his mind, I highly
doubt it.
“Yeah, Kitten,” he whispers back, making me shudder with the soft way
he says my nickname.
“You need to start talking.”
Unfortunately, he rolls off me. I miss his weight almost instantly when
he falls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. Not liking the distance
he’s just put between us, I roll onto my side and rest myself on his chest.
His eyes close as he accepts my support, and after a few seconds his arms
come around me.
He takes a few deep breaths before his quiet voice fills the space around
us. “You know that girl who came in for a tattoo a few weeks ago?” I open
my mouth to get him to elaborate, but he beats me to it. “The one you had
to ID to make sure she was old enough?” I nod, not wanting to distract him.
“Well, she came back for her second session on Wednesday.”
I tense as I wait to hear what she’s got to do with this current situation.
“She was even more nervous than the first time, which seemed really odd.
She kept looking at me, like, really looking at me. It was weird.” My brow
creases as I try to put two and two together and get nowhere. He can’t be
telling me that she’s suddenly the love of his life, because I’m currently
naked in his arms.
“Okay,” I say when he seems to come to a stop.
His body is once again tense as he recalls whatever happened. Lifting
one of my hands, I start trailing my fingertips over the roses inked on his
pecs in the hope it reminds him that I’m here and willing to listen to
anything he needs to tell me.
“She’s my sister.” I suck in a breath, at first thinking that I’ve misheard
him.
“She’s you…” I trail off, trying to figure it out.
“Head fuck, right?”
“Um… I don’t even know what to say.”
“No, nor did I. But as I looked at her, I just knew. There was something
about her.”
“Okay so—”
“I called my dad. He confirmed it in not so many words. They’ve been
lying to me my whole fucking life.” Every muscle in his body pulls tight at
his admission. “I’ve always felt like the outsider, and now I know why.
Whenever Harrison joked about me not being of the same blood, he was
fucking right. I don’t even know what to think. I don’t know who the fuck I
am right now.”
My heart bleeds for the lost look on his face. I know he feels unattached
to his family at the best of times, being so different to them, but this has
really knocked him for six.
“Zach,” I breathe, not knowing where to start to try to make him realise
that none of what he’s just said effects who he is as a person. I lift my hand
to his cheek and encourage him to look at me. His haunted eyes find mine
and I suck in a breath, wishing I could fix this. “You are you. An incredibly
talented artist, a pretty awesome businessman, a great friend—you know,
based on the fact you have a lot of them,” I say with a laugh because it’s not
like we’ve ever actually been friends. The smallest of smiles twitches at his
lips, telling me that he understands. “You’re an arrogant prick who knows
exactly where his skills lie and ensures that everyone knows exactly how
good you are. You make women fall at your feet on a daily basis and have
men looking at you wishing they had even half of your charm.”
His smirk grows the longer I talk. “Women fall at my feet. Is that
right?”
“Oh come on, hotshot. You can’t tell me you’re oblivious to your
charms.”
“I don’t remember you falling anywhere near me.”
“That’s because I’m different.”
“Oh yeah?” He reaches out and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and
the gentle brush of his skin against mine has butterflies waking up in my
belly.
“Yeah. I did the opposite. I said no. But look where I ended up anyway.
Even though I hate you.”
His fingers trail down my neck and over my shoulder. Goosebumps
follow their movement, my nipples pebbling against him.
“Hmmm… if I remember correctly, you admitted to falling out of hate
with me the other night.”
“I was pretty drunk.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah. I say all sorts of shit I don’t mean when I’m drunk.” I can’t fight
the smile that wants to break, and the second it does, I’m glad because a
genuine one lights up Zach’s face.
“Maybe I should remind you what made you say it.” He rolls me onto
my back and captures my nipple in my mouth as his hard length presses
against my thigh.
His fingers find me wet and willing once again, but instead of teasing
me until I’m begging, he quickly moves so he’s once again at home
between my legs. Only this time, once he starts kissing me, he never lets up.
His hips move almost leisurely as he mimics the movement of his tongue.
His fingers trail teasingly down my body. His actions are so tender that they
make tears burn the back of my eyes. I keep them shut, thankful that he’s
kissing me and unable to see the emotional wreck he’s turning me into.
He releases my lips in favour of my jaw and, when he gets to my ear, he
whispers my name, followed by an admission that rocks me to my core.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen out of hate with you too.”

OceanofPDF.com
 34

Zach

W hen I wake not long later from my impromptu nap, it’s with
Tabitha in my arms and the memories of her turning up here
earlier. I’ve been a fucking mess since that phone call with my
dad Wednesday night. But I did not see that coming, or the fact he was
basically going to tell me it was true.
Rolling over, I pull her closer and bury my nose in her hair. Just having
her here settles everything inside me that’s been rioting over the past few
days. I knew it would, but my stubborn arse was never going to call her. I’d
fucked up when I left her in that hotel room, I knew that the second the door
shut behind me. The last thing she needed after that was me turning up like
a fucking head case and needing to lose myself in her. But she came, and
she allowed me to take what I needed.
“Did you just sniff me?”
“Yeah, I did. Problem?”
She turns in my arms and looks up at me from under her lashes. My
cock twitches again. Will I ever get enough of this woman?
“I sure hope not,” she says with a coy smile.
“Shit, did I say that out loud?”
“You only said what I’m thinking.”
I lean forward to kiss her, but her hand on my chest stops me. My brow
creases and my lips curl in a pout.
 “Cute. But I’m pretty sure we didn’t actually finish talking earlier, and I
got dragged away from my dinner date and I’m starving.” I tense at the
mention of a date. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist. It was with your
sister… Danni,” she adds just to confirm, and I hate that it allows a little bit
of my reality to creep back in. “Speaking of, did you know she and Titch
know each other?”
“No. As far as I’m aware Titch has never met any of my family, why?” I
lie back with my hands behind my head as she scoots to the end of the bed.
I take in the soft curves of her slim waist and full hips as my cock goes full
mast. She stands and bends to grab something from the floor. “You’re
fucking killing me here, you know that right?”
She keeps her back to me but looks over her shoulder once she’s back at
full height and winks as she leisurely runs her eyes down the length of me
until she finds my cock.
“There’s time for that later. Right now, I need feeding, and looking at
the state of this place, I’m thinking there’s no food.” She pulls one of my
discarded t-shirts over her head and I can’t help noticing how much better it
looks on her than it ever has on me, especially when I know that there’s
absolutely nothing underneath it.
Her mentioning the disaster that is my flat has reality crashing down
around me. “I shouldn’t have let you in with it like this.” I’m not sure if it’s
my words or my tone that has her stopping before she gets to the door.
In a second, she’s back on the bed with my face in her hands. “Never
apologise for needing someone.”
“I didn’t need someone, Kitten. I needed you.” I press my lips to hers
for a quick kiss, but knowing everything I’ve got to deal with, I don’t allow
myself to linger like I want.
“I’ll attempt to tidy up and you can order whatever you want.”
She watches me from the doorway as I swing my legs from the bed and
pull on a clean pair of boxers.
“Keep looking at me like that and the only thing I’m going to be eating
tonight is you.” She squirms at my words and my cock swells once again.
Walking up to her, I grip onto the back of her head and pull her lips to
mine. My tongue sweeps into her mouth and tangles with hers. It might
have only been minutes ago I had her, but I’m desperate once again.
“You’re so fucking addictive,” I murmur against her lips when I pull
back a fraction. My hand skims down her body and pulls her soft curves
against the hard lines of mine. She gasps at our contact, letting me know
that my touch affects her like hers does.
Resting my forehead against hers, I allow myself a few minutes to
breathe her in. “Thank you,” I whisper, my lips gently brushing hers.
She doesn’t say anything, instead just absorbs my gratitude for her
forcing her way in here, into my flat, into my heart, before her stomach
grumbles so loudly I can’t help but bark out a laugh. “Come on, I think we
need to feed you.”
“Should I tell Danni that I won’t be back?”
“Why, did you want to go home to her instead of being here with me?” I
ask over my shoulder as I head for the bathroom.
When her answer doesn’t come right away, I look back and smile. Her
eyes are locked on my arse, her teeth attacking her bottom lip.
“Sorry, did you say something?”
“Order us some damn dinner, woman.”
When I emerge from the bathroom only a few minutes later, Tabitha’s
phone sits on the counter but she’s on her hands and knees in the kitchen,
picking up what remains of my shattered plates and glasses. Guilt hits me,
watching her tidy up my mess. My heart constricts that she feels the need to
do this when I’m the one who fucked everything up.
“Leave that.” The demand comes out harsher than I intend, and she
stills immediately with her hand reaching for another shattered piece of
ceramic. After sucking in a breath, she looks back at me. She looks so
innocent, so delicate, and so fucking at home dressed in only my shirt and
in my flat. “Sorry,” I whisper. “You go and sit down. I’ll sort this.”
“It’s okay, let me help,” she says, standing amidst the chaos that is my
life right now. She’s like a fucking angel trying to drag me from my
demons. The only light amongst all my dark. And fuck if she doesn’t call to
me. Walk toward the light, Zach.
Stepping over the mess, I do just that. My hands skirt around her waist
until they grip onto her arse and pull her into me. My cheek brushes hers as
I move my lips to her ear. “You’ve done enough.”
“Zach, I—” I silence her with a finger on her lips.
“Go and sit down.” With a smack to the arse, she hops over the mess
and does as she’s told, although her eyes never leave me as I continue the
job she started. My skin burns with her attention, making me wish I never
allowed her out of the bedroom in the first place.
 I’ve just about got everything swept up when the buzzer goes off. She’s
up off the sofa in a flash and heading for the door.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I bark, halting her
movements.
“Um… getting the dinner.”
“Like fuck you are.” Throwing the tea towel to the counter, I stalk over.
“The only man who sees you dressed like that is me. You got that?”
A lopsided smile pulls at her lips. She wants to chastise me for my
macho bullshit, I can see it in her eyes, but equally, she loves that I’ve taken
possession of her.
With my fingers in her hair, I tug her head back. “You’re mine. No one
else gets to see what belongs to me.” Her eyes hold mine, sparkling with
pleasure which only gets more intense when I lift the edge of my shirt and
run my finger through her wet folds. A groan of pleasure rumbles up the
back of my throat. “Mine,” I repeat, plunging two fingers inside her.
“Understood?”
She nods but no words escape. Instead, she gasps when I find the spot
that makes her scream before the buzzer goes off again, forcing me to
move. Lifting my fingers, I suck them into my mouth. Tabitha watches my
every move, and I know she’s only getting wetter and wetter. I make myself
to walk to the door to get the dinner before I take her again.
When I get back, she’s laid up the coffee table with the only items she
could find for us to eat off. She’s got a small side plate while I’ve got a
standard plate with a huge chunk missing, and we’ve got water in travel
mugs.
“I think you might need to go shopping,” she says with a shrug as I drop
the bag down.
“What I was going to eat off wasn’t top of my priority list at the time.” I
feel like an idiot for allowing my emotions over this whole thing to get the
better of me. I was already beating myself up about how I left things with
Tabitha, I really didn’t need that bombshell on top of it as well.
Her warm hand lands on mine. “It is what it is, Zach. You needed to
blow off steam, I get that. You can use me from now on.” A smile makes its
way to my lips.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever you need.” I nod at her, wondering what the fuck I did to
deserve this right now, as she reaches for the takeout bag and starts dishing
up.
I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten, but the second she pulls the
lid off the Chinese I’m suddenly ravenous. Glancing at all the tubs, I
wonder if she suspected as much because she’s ordered enough to feed the
five thousand.
We sit on the floor around my coffee table and I can’t help but wonder if
it’s the best meal of my life.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, when she notices that
my attention is on her and not my plate.
“I’m sorry for how things went down on Saturday. You didn’t deserve
any of that.”
“You were hurt, understandably. You were right, I should have been
honest with you from the start.”
“I’m pretty sure that if you were, we wouldn’t be here right now. So as
fucked up as everything is, it got us here.”
She smiles at me and I relax. “Maybe you’re right. You hated me on
sight as it was, you didn’t need the knowledge of me knowing your family
on top of that. You never would have kept me.”
The mention of family has my muscles locking up. Are they even that
now? Reaching over, I take her hand. “Can I keep you now?”
She laughs. “If you want me.”
Pulling her over the coffee table, I lean into her ear. “Always.”
I allow her to sit back to finish eating. She stays silent for a few
minutes, but I know she’s got a million questions on the tip of her tongue.
“Spit it out, Kitten.”
“What did your dad say exactly?”
“Not much. Some bullshit that we should talk about it in person.”
“So you’ve not actually talked yet?”
I shake my head, remembering just how fucking angry I was when he
confirmed what Kas had said.
“You really need to talk to them.” I sigh. I know she’s right, but I’m not
really sure I can face it. “You need to know the truth, Zach. It might be the
right time for you to be completely honest with them too, about who you
are.”
I mull over her words. So many times over the years I’ve almost told
them everything, but something’s always held me back. On some level I’ve
always known there was something different about me, and I can’t help but
wonder if that’s why.
“Will you come with me?” The words are out of my mouth before I’ve
even really thought about them, but I know without a doubt that I want her
there. If she’s going to be a part of my future, which I’m hoping she is, then
she needs to be by my side.
“Whatever you need.”
“You. Just you.”
A smile lights up her face. She reaches for my phone that’s half fallen
down the sofa cushion. “Organise it for tomorrow morning. It’s time to get
everything out in the open.”
I take a long breath before sending everyone a message to meet me at
my parents’. The confirmations come back almost immediately, and my
nerves hit me.
“They’ll be so proud of you, Zach. You’ve built something incredible
here. You’re going to blow them away.”
As I look at her soft, beautiful face, it dawns on me just how much I
crave their approval with what I’ve been doing. It’s always been easier for
them just to assume I’m a huge fuck-up than to risk them disapproving of
everything I’ve worked towards since I was fourteen.
“Now,” she says, getting onto her hands and knees and crawling toward
me. “We’ve got a few hours to waste before then.” She stops beside me and
pulls my shirt up and over her head, exposing her sexy curves to me. “And
I’ve got a few ideas for what we can do to pass the time.”
“Oh yeah?” She throws one leg over my waist and settles herself on top
of me.
“We may as well mess this place up a little more before putting
everything back together.”
“Hmmm,” I groan as I watch her fingertip trail over the stars on my
shoulder, my cock thickening against the confines of my boxers.
“And I think we should start right now.” Her hand skims down my abs
before disappearing inside my boxers to reveal my length. Taking it in her
hand, she lifts herself up before sinking down on me. We both groan in
pleasure as she ever so slowly takes me. “Lie back, relax. I’ve got this.”
I fall back onto my elbows and watch her body move against mine. It’s
one of the best things I’ve ever fucking seen, and one I’d like to repeat as
often as physically possible.
OceanofPDF.com
 35

Tabitha

Z ach’s hand holds mine impossibly tight as we walk up toward his

parents’ front door the next morning. We did as I suggested last
night and fucked on every surface we could in his flat before falling
exhausted into his bed sometime in the early hours.
As I walk, my muscles pull and my core aches, but it’s the most
delicious feeling, especially with him still standing beside me.
Part of me was worried about what I’d find when I woke this morning,
but much to my delight, Zach just pulled me tighter into his body and held
me like he never wanted to let go.
“You okay?” I ask as we come to a stop at the door. His hand trembles
slightly in mine, and when I glance over at him, his features are pulled tight
with tension.
He nods once. I know it’s his way of saying no but not wanting to
verbalise it. We might have only really known each other a few weeks, but
already I can read him unlike most others.
He lifts his hand to open the door, but at the last minute he hesitates and
looks at the doorbell.
“Just do what you normally do. No matter what they’ve got to tell you,
they still love you.”
 He nods again and goes back to the handle. Behind the door is a home
much like my own parents’, but instead of the cold and unhomely space I’m
used to this one is filled with family and love. Everywhere I look there are
photos that span over thirty years. I can’t help but smile, already feeling at
ease, and I’ve only walked through the entrance hall.
“They’ll be in the kitchen.”
“Let’s go then.”
Every head turns toward us as we step into the kitchen.
“Zach,” his mum breathes as she rushes for him. Her arms wrap around
his shoulders and she holds him like she’s not seen him in years, not only a
week. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers quietly in his ear. “I love you so much, I
always have. I need you to know that.”
Zach stands as still as a fucking rock while she falls apart around him.
After a few more seconds she pulls back and wipes at her eyes.
“Tabitha, what a nice surprise.”
I smile at her, not really knowing what to say in this situation, before his
dad sweeps her into his arms.
When I look up, I find Danni smiling at me from the breakfast bar. I
give Zach’s hand a squeeze and take a step over to her, but I’m pulled back
into his side. He shakes his head ever so slightly. The look in his eyes pulls
at my heart. He’s so close to the edge right now, and the fact that he needs
me beside him means more to me than I think he’ll ever believe.
“Would you both like a drink?” Zach’s dad asks us.
When Zach makes no move to say anything, I answer for both of us.
“Coffee would be great, thank you.”
With our hands still joined, I lead a silent and tense Zach over to where
Danni and Harrison are sitting and pull us out a stool.
“Good night?” Danni asks with a wink.
“Fantastic, thank you. I’m surprised you want details.”
“I don’t, what I’m seeing right now is enough.” She makes a fake
gagging gesture as she looks between the two of us, but she can’t help the
small smile on her lips at the same time. “Seriously though, if you’re happy
and he treats you right,” her eyes drill into Zach’s, “then I’m happy for you.
Just… think twice the next time I’m only the other side of the wall, eh?”
Zach’s hand tightens in mine. “Motherfucker,” he grunts. “She was your
friend that night?”
“Lucky for you, I was so drunk that I didn’t hear a thing.”
 “I’m not sure that makes it any better.” Hearing the lightness in Zach’s
tone as he jokes with his sister fills me with hope that he’s also going to be
able to walk out of here with a smile on his face once everyone has had
their say.
“Here we go.” Two steaming mugs are placed in front of us before
Zach’s parents join us all. “Zach, I’m so sorry that you had to find out like
you did. It was never our intention to—”
“Before we do that. I’ve got some things I need to say first.”
“Okay,” his parents say in unison, while Harrison also leans forward
slightly to hear what his younger brother has to say. Danni just sips on her
tea, seeing as I’ve already filled her in on Zach’s mystery life.
“While we’re all being honest, I need you all to know that I’m not the
waste-of-space fuck-up you think I am who lives on his trust fund and is
doing nothing with his life.”
“Son, that’s not what—”
“Yes it is. I can see it in your eyes, your disappointment that I’ve never
made anything of my life like the rest of you. But actually, that’s not true.”
Everyone leans in that little bit more as Zach prepares to rock their world
slightly. “I own and run a chain of tattoo studios.”
His mother gasps, her hand covering her mouth in shock. His dad’s chin
drops, and pride fills Harrison’s eyes.
“He doesn’t just mean a couple here in London either,” I add, needing
them to fully understand and to break the silence. “He has studios in the US
as well. He’s building an empire.”
My chest swells with pride at the look on their faces.
Silence falls around us as everyone absorbs what he just said.
“That’s awesome, bro. I’m proud of you,” Harrison says, getting up to
slap his brother lovingly on the back.
“Thanks, man.”
His mum and dad follow suit before everyone is once again silent as the
weight of the impending conversation presses down on everyone.
“Zach,” his dad starts. Zach visibly flinches beside me, his hand
tightening in mine as he stares at the counter in front of him instead of his
father’s eyes. “What you… what you discovered this week. It’s true. Kassie
is your sister—your half-sister. I’m not proud of the mistake I made back
then, but equally, I can’t regret it because it gave me you, and that’s not
something I’d change for the world. After we had Harrison, your mum was
desperate for another, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t happening. Years
passed and still nothing. Neither of us were in a good place. Fertility help
wasn’t available as easily back then as it is now, and it was taking a toll on
our relationship. Watching your mum suffer was the worst thing I’ve ever
experienced.” We all watch as he takes his wife’s hand and squeezes gently,
as if he’s apologising for taking her back to that time. “She was so desperate
to carry another baby. She was—is— an incredible mum, and the fact it
wasn’t happening was devastating.
“I went out with some friends one night. I didn’t want to go, but they
were adamant that I let my hair down. They could see things weren’t good
at home and that I needed a breather. I had more to drink than I usually
would, enjoying the freedom I suddenly had, and one thing led to another
and—” A collective gasp sounds out around the room.
“You cheated on Mum?” Harrison growls, anger filling his voice as he
stares daggers at his father. Zach sits straight, his eyes boring into his dad’s,
his fingers clenching in mine with his need to do something.
“I did.” All the air rushes from their dad’s lungs as he admits his
mistake. His eyes glisten with emotion and regret, and if it weren’t for the
vice-like grip Zach’s holding my hand with, I’d get up and hug him. Just
talking about it all these years later is ripping him apart—I can only
imagine how bad it must have been at the time.
“She was young, and I was stupid. I can give you all the excuses under
the sun, but at the end of the day, I fucked up. I knew the moment I did it
that it was the wrong thing to do. I loved your mother with all my heart, but
things hadn’t been easy. But I knew then that I’d spend the rest of my life
making up for that one mistake. She’s the only one for me.” He wraps his
arm around his wife as the tears filling his eyes finally drop.
“I came home, admitted everything, and after a very, very long time in
the dog house, she thankfully gave me a second chance.
“I thought no more of it, just grateful not to have lost my family. At no
point did I consider that a few months later there would be a knock at my
door and a familiar, pregnant woman would be standing on the other side.
“As I said, she was young, she didn’t have a very desirable lifestyle—”
“She was a hooker, wasn’t she?” Zach suddenly asks, his cold voice
startling me. I’ve never heard him sound so cut off. It’s like he’s just a shell
of the man I know as he listens to this heart-wrenching story that shatters
everything he thought he knew about his life.
 His dad looks at the table, allowing everyone to assume his answer,
although after a few seconds he gives one of his own. “I didn’t pay her, if
that’s what you mean.”
“No, you gave her something much more meaningful,” Zach snaps. I
squeeze his hand in support when I fear he’s about to let go of the final bit
of restraint he’s desperately clutching at right now.
“I did, and I wouldn’t change him for the world. Anyway, like I said,
she was young, her life was a mess. When she told me—told us—that she
was pregnant and that it was mine, we offered to help her, but she was
adamant that she wasn’t capable of bringing up a baby. We tried to support
her, we got her into a rehab and organised some counselling. It worked
while she was pregnant. She did what she needed to do to ensure you were
looked after and brought into the world as you deserved to be. But the day
she had you, she told us that she wouldn’t be your mother. That you had a
family who could love you in a way she wasn’t able to. It was heartbreaking
to watch, but none of us could deny that she was right.
“When you left that hospital, it was in your mother’s arms.” Zach’s
mum sobs on her husband’s shoulder as he retells the heart wrenching story.
My chest aches for what they all went through, for the woman who was
selfless enough to do the right thing for her baby.
I glance from his emotional parents to Zach. His lips are pressed into a
thin line and his jaw works as he grinds his teeth. I can’t imagine how hard
it must be to hear all this. How you even go about accepting it.
“She was a good person, Zach. She was just in a bad place in her life.
Fallen in with the wrong people. She desperately wanted better for you.”
“Wha—” His voice cracks, and it causes my eyes to burn knowing how
much this is hurting him to hear right now. “What happened to her.”
“I kept tabs on her for a long time. It’s how we know she went on to
have Kassie. She seemed to be in a better place with a stable relationship.
Seeing that she’d rebuilt her life, we took a step back. It wasn’t our job to
keep an eye on her. She was a fully-grown woman. But it gave us peace of
mind that she’d turned things around.”
“She’s dead.” His voice is cold and empty. I desperately want to crawl
onto his lap and hold him.
His parents suck in sharp breaths. They had no idea.
“It’s what brought Kas to the studio. She wanted a tattoo to remember
her.”
 “Fucking hell. I’m so sorry, son.”
Zach drops his eyes from his father’s and to the table, his head shaking
back and forth slowly. “Does she have any other family?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know.”
“Fuck,” he barks, suddenly pushing the stool out behind him with such
force it crashes to the floor.
“Zach?” I ask, my eyes wide with panic. His chest is puffed out like he’s
about to fight, and I’m terrified of what might happen next.
He looks at me and everything about his demeanour softens. “It’s okay,”
he mouths, and I nod. Our eyes hold for a beat before he turns back to his
parents. “Thank you for…” he trails off, lost in thought. “Thank you for
everything. I’m sorry it had to come out this way.” He digs his hand into his
pocket and pulls his wallet out. “Here. This is where I am. I live in the flat
above the studio if you ever want to… err… visit—”
“Or get a tattoo,” Danni throws in from behind me, her attempt to
lighten the mood.
His parents smile sadly, standing with him. His mum moves first and
rushes around the table to embrace him.
I don’t hear the hushed words she says to him, but the tears that fill his
eyes almost break me. Since the moment I first met him as a child, Zach’s
always been this larger-than-life character. He’s the one who leaves tears in
his wake, he’s never the broken one, barely holding on to his own emotions.
His dad steps up and wraps his arms around the two of them.
Unable to look away from the three of them, I jump when Danni steps
up behind me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I think you might
be the best thing that ever happens to him,” she whispers in my ear, and my
tears finally drop.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” I sniffle.
“You know what I do know,” she states with a wicked smile on her tear-
stained face. I arch a brow as I wait for what she’s got to say. “Your parents
are going to fucking hate him. Please can I be there when you introduce
him?”
“Oh god,” I groan, not needing the reminder that we’ve still got another
set of parents to deal with at some point.
The trio in front of us breaking apart thankfully pushes thoughts of my
family from my mind. One lot of family drama at a time is more than
enough.
 Zach’s mum kisses him on the cheek before stepping away. He
immediately searches me out and lifts his arm towards me. I don’t hesitate
in sliding my fingers into his and accepting his embrace when he pulls me
into his side.
“I know you already know her, but this is Tabitha, my girlfriend, if
she’ll have me.” The lump that climbs up my throat is so huge that there’s
no way I can answer him with words. Instead, I look up at him, a huge
smile on my face, and nod.
His mum, who’d just about got herself under control, sobs once more.
“I think that might be the most shocking thing about this whole
morning. Zach’s found a girl who’ll put up with him,” Harrison goads,
earning himself a slug to the shoulder.
After a few minutes, everyone says their emotional goodbyes and Zach
leads me back to the front door.
His car, a huge blacked out BMW, sits out the front of his parents’. He
opens the door and waits for me to climb in before heading to the driver’s
side to join me.
The second he’s in, he rests his head back against the headrest, closes
his eyes and blows out the longest breath.
Reaching over, I place my palm on his thigh, just so he knows I’m here
while he takes a moment to process his information overload.
“There are two things I really want to do right now,” he admits. I turn
toward him, eager to find out what they are. “I need to ink someone, and I
need to fuck someone.” His eyes open and find mine immediately. My
breath catches, because his eyes are telling me that that someone is me. My
skin tingles in anticipation of both. Having his hands on me in any sense is
mind blowing. “But there’s something else I need to do first.”
“Oh?” I watch as he pulls his phone from his pocket, taps the screen and
places it to his ear.
“It’s me. We need to talk. Where are you?” He’s silent for a few seconds
as he listens. “Okay, we’ll be there in ten.”
He drops his phone into the centre console and puts the car into drive.
The question is right on the end of my tongue to ask where we’re going,
but the determination on his face stops me. I’m already pretty certain I
know anyway. I sit back and allow him the thinking time that he must so
desperately need.
 Ten minutes later, he pulls into a side road, and I’m not surprised when
a feisty little brunette steps out from the shadows. She looks just like she
did the first time I saw her. Terrified. Her blue eyes are wide as she takes in
the over the top car and walks towards the driver.
“You hungry?”
“Starved.”
“Good. Hop in, we’re going for lunch.” And just like that, a brother-
sister bond is formed.

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 36

Zach

I think of the girl I’m driving toward and wonder what her life’s been
like. I barely know her, but from seeing the darkness that haunted her
eyes in the few hours we spent together, I already know that she didn’t
grow up in a huge house in Kensington and spend her younger years at a
private school.
My fingers white-knuckle the steering wheel as Tabitha’s hand squeezes
my thigh in support. Something settles inside me knowing that she’s there.
That she’s supporting me. I don’t deserve to have her by my side through all
of this after everything I did to her. Her being here means everything and
makes my chest ache in a totally different way, a way I’ve never
experienced before and a way I don’t think I ever want to stop.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly from beside me as we sit in the London
traffic.
“Yeah,” I say, and although I didn’t think I would be after what we’ve
just experienced, I really think I am. “I’ve always known that I don’t fit. In
a weird way, it’s almost a relief to know that I was right all these years.”
“You fit in just fine, Zach. You always have. Just because you like
different things, it doesn’t mean you’re not part of your family.”
Silence falls around us once again as I mull her words over.
 The atmosphere in the car changes the second Kas pulls the back door
open and steps inside. She wasn’t expecting my call today. We’ve not
spoken since she ran from the shop on Wednesday, making me wonder why
she so easily accepted this invitation for an impromptu lunch.
Hardly any words are spoken as I drive us to a restaurant. It’s one my
parents used to take us to as kids. It’s nothing fancy, but if Kas has had the
kind of life I expect she might then I want to take her somewhere normal
that brings me happy memories.
“Zach?” she asks as we leave the car behind and walk toward the
restaurant.
“I’ll go and get us a table. You two take your time,” Tabitha says, taking
another step from me, but I don’t allow her to go. Giving her arm a tug, I
pull her back so I can drop a quick kiss to her lips.
“Thank you,” I murmur before releasing her and looking to my newly
acquired sister.
We both watch Tabitha as she disappears into the front doors, the silence
heavy around us.
“I’m sorry that I—”
“I spoke to my parents this morning. They told me everything,” I admit,
cutting her off and turning towards her. She’s so short I almost feel like I’m
talking to a child and have to remind myself that she’s an adult.
She nods in understanding. “How was that?”
“Painful. More so for my mum than anyone else, I think.”
“She must be an incredible woman.”
“Yeah.” A wide smile curls at my lips as I think about her and how
strong she really is. “Yeah she is. You’ll love her.”
“I can’t wait to meet her… if she wants to, of course.”
“I’m sure she does.” I take a step toward the restaurant, but I suddenly
stop. “Kas?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry about your mum.” She nods, accepting my words, but I don’t
miss her eyes getting a little wet at the mention of her. “That must have
been tough.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” she admits before sealing her lips like
she’s said too much.
“Will you tell me about it, about her?”
“I will. Just… maybe not yet. Most of it isn’t pretty.”
 “I feared as much.” She steps up to me, and I can’t help but rest my arm
over her shoulders. I barely know her but I already feel a connection
between the two of us. I felt it that first day she was in my studio, and it’s
only growing now I know the truth. I love my family, more than I can
describe, but with Kas here, I can’t help feeling like a few of my missing
puzzle pieces have suddenly fallen into place. What with Tabitha as well, I
almost feel like a whole person for the first time in my life. “Come on, let’s
eat.”

OceanofPDF.com
 37

Tabitha

I t’s been a month since that morning at the Abbots’ house when the
truth about Zach and how he really came into this world was spelled
out for him.
I want to be able to say that things were smooth and easy from then on
out, but although his parents came and visited the studio and the three of
them spent some time together, with everything out in the open it was like
there was still a gaping hole between them.
As the days have gone on, things have started to improve. It’s been
devastating to watch, Zach’s mum especially, as she’s had to fight to prove
to her son that she has only ever seen him as one of her own. Every time I
look at her, I just want to pull her in for a hug for being so incredibly
supportive and selfless where her family is concerned.
Tonight is Zach’s twenty-eighth birthday, and although he was adamant
that he only wanted to spend it celebrating with me in bed, as tempting as
that idea was, I was even more adamant that he was to spend time out with
those who love him.
With the help of his mum, I’ve organised an evening that will bring his
two families together for the first time. I’m nervous, I can’t help but be after
he’s kept his life split in two for so long, but I have every confidence that
it’ll be a great night.
 “Are you sure we can’t just stay here?” Zach asks, poking his head
around the doorframe to his bedroom where I’m getting ready.
“No, we can’t. I can, however, promise you that whatever your
imagination is conjuring up right now can be done when we get back.”
He pulls me into him so my back presses against his front. “Hmmm…”
he hums against my exposed neck. “Is that right?”
“Yep.”
“I could get used to this living together thing.” His hands roam over my
towel-covered body before tugging at the bottom and watching in the mirror
as it falls from me. Neither of us has brought up the fact that since the
morning we visited his parents I’ve barely been home. Every night I’ve
found myself here in his arms, but at some point we’re going to need to
address it. “That’s better.” His hands skim up my stomach to palm a breast,
teasing and pinching my nipples as we both watch. “You sure I can’t
convince you to stay in?”
“Absolutely not.” My voice is breathier than I intended, giving away my
desire now his hands are on me.
“But the things I could do to you.” He kisses down the column of my
neck. Goosebumps erupt across my skin as he moves down to my shoulder.
“I could kiss every inch of your body. Trace every line with my tongue. I
could part you and feast on you until you’re crying out my name, begging
to have my cock stretching you open.”
“Zach,” I part warn, part beg as his words ignite a hunger in me I’m not
sure I’m going to be able to ignore.
“You can feel it, can’t you? Me moving slowly inside you, stoking those
flames that are only getting stronger.”
My head falls back against his shoulder as he walks his fingers down
my stomach. He teases over my heated skin before—finally—his fingertips
connect with the exact place I need them to.
“Oh god,” I moan, my eyes closing as I absorb the sensation.
“It’s a real shame we’re going out, eh?” His hands leave me, and after
ensuring I’m not going to fall flat on my back, he takes a step away from
me.
His eyes hold mine in the mirror. They’re alight with desire and filled
with hunger. “Hadn’t you better cover that body up? We’re going to be
late.”
 A growl of frustration climbs up my throat. “I hate you,” I call as he
disappears into the bathroom.
“Likewise, Kitten.”
I laugh, turning toward the clothes I’d laid out on his bed earlier to the
sound of him getting ready in the distance. I’ve refused to tell him what I’ve
got planned for tonight. I can only assume that he’s expecting it to be just
the two of us.
I’m in the kitchen, transferring things from my usual handbag into my
clutch for the night when his footsteps head towards me. I drop my lip gloss
inside my bag before looking up, and I’m glad I do because if it were still in
my hand then I’ve no doubt it would be heading for the floor right now.
Zach’s wearing a plain pair of black dress trousers and a classic white shirt
that’s open at the neck with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. My mouth
waters as I take in the way the fabric clings to his lean body. I bite down on
my bottom lip to stop me sighing with contentment that this incredible man
before me is all mine. He might be an arrogant arse, but he’s my arrogant
arse.
I make my way up to his face, running my eyes over the scruff that
covers his jaw. My thighs clench as the memory of how it felt between them
only this morning hits me like a truck. His lips curl into a sexy smirk,
knowing exactly where my mind has gone before I find his eyes. The
happiness in them sparkles back at me, but I don’t miss the heat that
threatens to overtake the longer he stares.
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” he taunts, taking a step toward
me so he’s close enough to take over every one of my senses. His scent fills
my nose and I almost throw caution to the wind and drag him back to the
bedroom.
“Nope, we’ve got people waiting for us,” I blurt as an excuse, more for
myself than him at this point.
“People?”
“Yep, people. And they’re expecting to see the birthday boy.”
“They’re not expecting us to stay long though, right?”
I laugh at him, and somehow I manage to break our connection so I can
grab my jacket and slip my phone into my bag.
“The car should be downstairs. We need to go.” He groans behind me
but follows my lead when I head to the door.
 The weather might be starting to warm up as spring progresses, but with
the clear sky above us, it’s bitterly cold as we wait for our car on the
pavement.
Noticing my shiver, Zach pulls me into his body and wraps his arms
around me. He stares down into my eyes as his warmth seeps into me.
“I’ve most definitely fallen out of hate with you, Tabby Cat.”
“Oh yeah,” I tease.
“Yeah, because I’ve fallen in love with you instead.”
My breath catches at his confession and tears immediately burn the
backs of my eyes. I’ve felt it from him a million times, his little touches
here and there, the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not paying
attention. Deep down, I knew how he felt, but hearing it… Hearing those
words from his lips… They’re everything I didn’t know I needed.
He drops his head until his lips brush against mine and he gives me the
sweetest, most emotional kiss of my life. When he pulls back and rests his
forehead against mine, a single tear slips from my eye and runs down my
cheek.
“What’s this?” he whispers softly, reaching up to wipe it away.
“I—I,” I stutter, struggling to pull myself together enough to express
how much he means to me. “I love you too.” The smile he graces me with
melts my heart. I know he’s still struggling after the bombshell that his
mum’s not his biological one, but he’s opened his heart up, not only to me,
but also to Kas, in a way I never could have imagined when I first stumbled
back into his life.
The arrogant bad boy I thought I hated has totally stolen my heart, and I
couldn’t imagine it any other way.
“Car for Zach?” a voice shouts, dragging our eyes from each other. We
both laugh when we find our Uber sitting at the curb with an impatient
driver waiting for us to surface.
“Shit, yeah. Sorry, man.”
Zach drops one more quick kiss to my lips before taking my hand and
guiding me to the car to begin our evening.
I left the details of tonight down to Diane. When we spoke on the phone
a few weeks ago it was obvious to me that she needed to do something for
Zach after the bomb they’d dropped on him so I left her to it, although not
before I mentioned that a Michelin star restaurant might not have been a
good choice and to keep it simple. Thankfully, when she messaged me with
where she’d booked I discovered that she’d listened to me. Her restaurant of
choice was a bistro that had recently opened up not far from the studio, and
one glance at the website and I knew Zach would feel totally at home.
I’d mentioned that we were meeting people, but I’d refrained from
giving any names. As we walk inside I’m assuming that Zach’s only
expecting to find one of his families waiting for him—either his Rebel
boys, or his real family— but much to his surprise when we’re directed to
our table he finds everyone, both his worlds sitting together around one
huge table.
“H-holy shit,” he mutters beside me, his eyes wide as he takes everyone
in.
“Happy birthday,” everyone sings as he stands motionless.
“How did you—”
“I had a little help.”
Diane choose that moment to get up from her seat. “You like it?” Her
eyes are a little glassy as she looks up at her youngest boy.
“It’s perfect. Thank you.” Turning away from her once he’s pulled her
into a hug, he looks over everyone once again. “I guess some introductions
are in order.”
Zach names both his parents, Harrison, Summer, and Danni—who is
suspiciously sitting as far away from Titch as possible. With all the family
drama and the real beginning of mine and Zach’s relationship, I’ve not had
a chance to properly ask her about what’s going on there. She’s been giving
us space, too. She tells me it’s because this time is precious, but I have a
suspicion she’s just avoiding me.
He moves on to introduce the guys, and to his delight everyone happily
accepts each other and conversations spark up around the table. We take a
seat, and it’s only then I realise there’s an empty one beside Spike. Kas
didn’t show. My heart drops that she felt like she couldn’t be a part of this. I
can’t say I’m overly shocked, she’s never dealt with this kind of family
thing, so I would imagine it’s a little out of her comfort zone.
The waiter just comes over to begin taking our orders when someone
comes rushing over and a huge smile spreads across my lips.
“I’m so sorry. The tube just stopped in the middle of a tunnel and gah!”
She waves her hands around frantically while her chest heaves. “I ran from
the station trying not to be late.”
 “It’s okay, you’re here now,” Zach says, standing and pulling her into
his arms. “Everyone,” he says, turning toward the table and totally ignoring
the waiter with this notepad poised to take down orders. “This is my little
sister, Kas.” He points everyone out, his parents getting up to hug her
before Zach gestures to the seat beside Spike. She walks over and drops
down and almost instantly gets dragged into conversation as Spike points at
the tattoos on her exposed arms.
I look around at everyone as they chat or look down at the menu before
them to make their final choice and pride swells within me.
Leaning over, I whisper in the Zach’s ear. “You’re really fucking lucky,
you know that right?” He does a sweep of the table much like I just did.
“Yeah, I’m starting to understand that. Fuck knows why, I don’t deserve
half of it.”
“Zachary Abbot, don’t be so modest. You deserve this and so much
more.”
We have the best night—so much so that I almost forget about the desire
he left me with earlier. Almost.
Everything about the night is perfect. Everyone chats like they’ve
known each other for years. Well, everyone aside from Danni and Titch. No
matter where Titch is, Danni makes sure she’s as far away from him as
possible, making both of us more and more curious as to what was going
on.
As the evening progresses, Zach’s parents say their goodbyes and we
head to a club to dance the rest of the night away. Titch suggests we hit up
The Avenue, so we all grab our coats and follow his lead.
The guys buy everyone two shots of tequila before we hit the
dancefloor. Zach pulls me into his body and moves his hips with mine in
time with the music.
“Hmmm,” I moan into his neck. “Why haven’t we done this before?”
With my arms resting over his shoulders, I absently play with the hair at the
nape of his neck.
“Because I’d rather dance with you when you’re naked.” As he moves, I
feel the length of his growing erection against the softness of my stomach.
“Is someone getting ideas?” I ask with a quirked brow.
“Kitten, you’re pressed up against me. I have ideas when you’re merely
in the room, let alone touching me.”
 I laugh before he captures my lips with his and our tongues join in the
with the dancing. I’m totally lost to what everyone else is doing around me
as I focus on the incredible man in my arms. We dance together until the
burning desire that crackles between us gets too much and Zach excuses us
to an Uber he has waiting outside so we can go home and continue his
birthday celebrations in the privacy of his bedroom.

OceanofPDF.com
 EPILOGUE

Tabitha

“I ’ve got a surprise for you,” Zach whispers in my ear.

“If it’s what’s poking me in the thigh then I’ve gotta tell you,
that’s not so much of a surprise as it is expected,” I joke, seeing
as our mornings always start with a roll in the sheets.
“Well that, obviously, but there’s something else too.”
“Oh?” I turn onto my side so I can focus on him. My head spins a little
from the amount I drank last night, but it’s not enough to distract me from
what my surprise might be.
“I need you to get up, get dressed in something comfortable, and then
pack a bag.”
“A bag? What sort of things am I packing?”
“The essentials.”
“You know you’re talking to a woman, right? Almost everything I own
is essential. You’re going to need to give me a little more. Clothes for hot or
cold weather? How many knickers? What kind of shoes?”
He rolls his eyes at me. “Fine, pack for two weeks. Hot weather, sexy
shoes and zero knickers. Anything you forget we’ll buy, no biggie.”
“Two weeks? Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” he says teasingly before sitting up and pushing up from
the bed.
 “But what about—” My eyes drop to his body, and I bite down on my
bottom lip.
“No time. But, there’s always the mile-high club.”
“We’re flying?”
“Just get ready, Kitten. And don’t forget your passport.”
While I get myself sorted, Zach runs down to the studio to sort a few
things.
With my bag loaded with everything I could possibly need, I lug it
down the stairs after locking up the flat.
“I’d have come and got that for you,” he says when I pull it into
reception.
“It’s fine. You ready to go?”
“I am.” He shuts down my computer and spins towards me.
“Don’t you have clients?”
“Nope.”
“But the calendar was full.”
“All fake. I made them up so you wouldn’t be suspicious.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Sneaky.”
“I thought so.”
He grabs both of our cases before turning off the lights and pulling the
front door open for me. There’s a car waiting outside. He immediately
opens the boot and loads our bags inside.
Before I know it, we’re walking through Gatwick Airport and towards
the desk to check in our bags.
My eyes flick up to the board and excitement explodes in my belly.
“We’re going to LA?”
“We sure are. Thought it was time you met Corey and experienced how
things are done in America.” I turn my wide smile from the board
displaying our destination and look at Zach. “You happy?” he asks with a
chuckle.
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Pushing up on my tiptoes, I crash my lips
to his and show him just how excited I am. Maybe we’ll have to see about
that mile-high club thing…
I’m practically bouncing on the balls of my feet as we drag our bags out to
arrivals. Now we’ve touched down I’m desperate to experience the delights
LA has to offer. The second we walk through the arrival doors, I spot a
beast of a man, covered in tattoos, waiting for us.
His eyes light up the second he sees the two of us, and he steps forward
with a wide smile on his face.
“Zach, my man. It’s so good to see you.”
Zach walks straight into him and embraces him in a man hug which
involves a lot of back slapping while I laugh at their overexuberant
greeting.
“And you must be Biff.” Corey’s joy at having us there is infectious,
and I squeal in delight when he sweeps me off my feet and spins me around.
“Hands off, man. Get your own,” Zach sulks.
He laughs at Zach’s pouting face as he lowers me to the ground. The
world spins a little and I cling to Zach for support.
“Nah, you’re all right. I’m not one for tying myself down, you know
this.” Something passes between them, making me curious about the man
I’ve only spoken to on the phone. Some kind of understanding that only
comes from a long-standing friendship. Zach talks about him often but
nothing more than a few memories of times they’ve spent together or
related to tattooing, but I don’t know much more than that.
“So, when do I get to walk on the golden sands of an LA beach then?” I
ask, breaking the tension that suddenly descended around us.
“Not long now. Come on, I’ve got a car outside.” Corey takes our cases,
allowing Zach to pull me into his side.
The heat hits us the second we exit the airport, and it’s glorious. I tilt my
head towards the stunning blue sky and allow it to warm my face.
“You’re going to like it here a little too much, I can sense it,” Zach
laughs, opening the car door for me.
I’m expecting to go to a hotel, so I’m a little surprised when we pull up
outside a studio with a very familiar sign hanging out the front.
“It’s like home from home,” I say, staring at the neon pink Rebel Ink
sign.
“Just with a little more sun,” Corey adds, jumping from the car and
taking our bags from the boot.
We follow him through to the studio and I can’t help feeling like I’ve
been transported straight back to London.
 “Okay, this place is incredible, but it’s a little freaky. I’m still in LA,
right?”
Corey and Zach both chuckle as I look around at the familiar reception
to the one I man at home.
“You like it?” Zach asks, his arms wrapping around me from behind as
his heat warms my back.
“I can’t not. It looks like home.”
“I might have wanted to run away, but I needed a little bit of my old life
with me,” Corey says sadly, following my gaze around the space. “Tour?”
he asks, coming back to himself and pulling his mind back to the present.
“I’d love one. Do you have a coffee machine Zach could make use of?”
“And here I was thinking Zach was the boss. I didn’t realise you’d
handed over your business as well as your balls, man.”
Zach flips him off as he moves toward a closed door. “Don’t go
anywhere near her skin with your gun or you won’t have any fucking balls
left.”
“Loud and clear, big man. Loud and clear.”
It makes me laugh that Corey calls Zach that when Corey well
outweighs him and has at least two inches on his height. He’s a beast of a
man.
I follow him as he shows me each room. Just like London, each room is
different, decorated as its artist desires. “And this is mine.” He pushes the
door open and my breath catches at the amount of artwork adorning the
walls.
“Wow, Zach said you were talented but… wow.”
He’s silent as my eyes take in design after design before me. I stop
when I find one of an intricate heart with flames wrapping around the
outside. I lift my finger and trace the lines, lost in the vibrancy of the
colour. When I glance back, he’s got his arm up, his hand pulling down on
the back of his neck looking a little unsure of himself.
He startles at my attention.
“He… uh… he’s really fallen for you, you know?” A little colour
appears on his cheeks as he says this, telling me he hadn’t planned it.
“I like to hope so.” I think back to his confession before our meal last
night and my heart swells in my chest.
“The way he talks about you on the phone, it’s—”
“It’s what?” A booming voice comes from behind him.
 “Err… shit. Caught red-handed,” Corey says with a laugh, lightening
the mood a little.
“Don’t let me stop you. Anything you need to say to Tabitha you can
say in front of me.”
“I was just going to say that you’ve swept him away. Stolen his heart
and taken control of his balls. It’s quite a sight to see. If he hadn’t brought
you so I could see you with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it
possible.”
“Aw, Corey. Are you a bit of a romantic a heart?”
“No. Definitely not. But equally I didn’t have him down as one either.”
“Your time will come, man,” Zach says knowingly.
“Abos-fucking-lutley not. I’ve way too much baggage for one woman to
deal with.”
“Is that your way of saying you don’t want a woman or that you need
multiple?” I ask, when things suddenly get serious.
Corey barks out a laugh. “I really like this one, Zach. Don’t fuck it up.”
He turns to me and whispers, “When he does, you can always have a job
here.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“Right, that’s enough. I don’t need her to think you’re more charming
than me.” Zach’s hand slips into mine. “You’ve seen the place. Now we
need to eat. Surf shack?” he asks, turning back to Corey.
“You bet.” Corey pulls his phone from his pocket and books us an Uber.
Minutes later we’re on our way to a surf shack that Zach’s not stopped
talking about since he mentioned it. Best seafood in the state, apparently.
We have a lovely meal looking out over the sea as the sun sets. Zach
and Corey catch each other up on their lives as we eat and make easy work
of our drinks that the waitress helpfully keeps topped up.
“And how’s the lovely Lana?” Corey asks.
“She’s good. Busy as always.”
“I can’t believe it’s been almost six years, man.” The atmosphere gets
heavy as Zach lifts his hand to the dog tag around his neck.
He never talks about Jon. Even now I only know the basics. Corey gets
a similar far-off look on his face as he thinks back, and I realise for the first
time that this is how they’re connected.
“D- did…” I hesitate, because I know Zach won’t want to talk about it,
but I need more. “Did you know Jon?”
 “Yeah. We served together. Our military service ended on the same
day.”
Our eyes hold as what he’s saying registers into my jet-lagged brain.
“Oh. But you’re—”
“Surviving.”
“Can I get you guys any desserts?” the waitress sings, distracting us
from the heaviness of the conversation.
Thankfully, once we place our orders we manage to turn the
conversation to lighter topics. Corey tells us about the new places he’s
discovered here, and ensures that Zach agrees to taking me to a few of
them.
We have a great night. It’s clear to see why Zach trusted Corey over
here with this part of the business. He’s so easy to get on with, despite his
obvious issues that keep his eyes a little clouded most of the time.
“You ready to head to the hotel?” Zach asks, finishing off his pint.
Thoughts of a swanky LA hotel room fill my mind and all the things we
could do in one have my temperature spiking.
“I think she is, if that look is anything to go by,” Corey laughs.
Perceptive fucker. “I’ll get the bill, you two head off.”
“Nah, man. My treat. You deserve a bonus for all you’ve done out
here.”
“Don’t I fucking know it.”
In only minutes we’re saying goodbye to Corey, agreeing to meet him at
the studio in the morning so the guys can go over some stuff. Excitement
tingles in my belly of what’s to come for our trip here.
The car drives along the coast, allowing us to take in the last of the
evening sun before it dives into the sea, and before long we’re pulling up in
front of an incredible hotel right on the beachfront in Malibu.
The place is mind-blowing, but the reception is nothing compared to our
room, which looks out over the stunning golden sand and perfectly clear
night sky.
“Wow,” I breathe, stepping out onto the balcony. Zach follows me out
and wraps his arms around my waist. I really am in heaven.
Our first week flies by. We spend time each morning at the studio and I get
to meet the other artists whose names I know but mostly have never spoken
to. We then head off and experience LA in the afternoons. Zach’s yet to tell
me when we’re actually going home, but I can sense that our little bit of
paradise is coming to an end.
“You think Corey would swap back? We could stay here instead,” I
suggest, resting my head back on Zach’s shoulder as we enjoy the sunset
over the sea one evening after our dinner in the hotel restaurant.
“I like your thinking, but I don’t think it will get you anywhere. Corey
belongs here. England was never where he was meant to be, not after
everyth—” Zach stops abruptly when he realises he’s said too much. “I’m
sorry,” he says softly, spinning me to face him. “He’s not really one to talk
about his life, I just—”
“It’s fine. I get it. You’re a good friend, Zach. He’s lucky to have you.”
He shrugs off my comment as if it’s nothing. “Fancy a walk on the beach?”
“Is that a trick question?”
We grab our shoes, and I pull a light jacket from the back of the chair. It
feels like only seconds later, I’m slipping off my shoes and stepping onto
the soft sand. The beach is almost empty, just a few late night surfing
attempts going on and a couple of young families building sand castles, but
other than that, it’s just the sound of the crashing waves and a few birds
overhead as we walk.
“Where do you see your future?” Zach suddenly asks.
“Um… To be honest, I’ve never really put that much thought into it. My
biggest concern has always been what I wanted to do. I seem to spend my
life disappointing my parents or following their orders and disappointing
myself. Starting work with you was the first time I properly did something
for me and really felt like myself.” I wince as I think about my parents. I’m
still yet to introduce Zach to them, but that’s all going to come to an end at
the beginning of next month, as I’ve agreed to attend their next event with a
plus one. As scared as I am for them to meet Zach, I’m equally as excited to
see the looks on their faces when they take him in.
“Okay, so now what? Do you want to stay at the studio? Do you want a
room of your own?”
“What?” I ask, coming to a stop. “I can’t have a room. I have no idea
how to—”
 “I know a few people who could teach you the ropes.” His hand lifts to
my cheek. “I’ve seen that sketchbook you think you hide in the bottom
drawer of your desk, and I’ve now seen your own studio. You are more than
capable of being one of my artists should you so wish.”
I roll the idea around in my head before an idea sparks. “Would you let
me ink you?” I wiggle my eyebrows in curiosity.
“Without a doubt. Which bit of me do you want, Kitten?” He takes a
step back and holds his hands out to offer himself up to me, and I laugh.
“All of you.”
His face suddenly turns serious and I panic that I’ve said the wrong
thing.
He closes the space between us as he stares into my eyes, but he doesn’t
reach out for me. Instead he does something that I didn’t see coming in a
million years. He drops to one knee.
I gawp at him, thinking that he’s going to burst out laughing any second
at his joke, but he never does. Instead, he takes my hand in his and brings it
to his lips.
“You’ve got all of me, Kitten. But the question is, can I have all of you?
Will you marry me?”
An unattractive snort falls from me as I wait for him to regret what he’s
just said, but he doesn’t. He just stays down on one knee, in the Los
Angeles sand with the sea as our backdrop and patiently waits for my
answer.
“Yes,” I blurt as the realisation starts to hit that he really means this.
Zach Abbot is serious enough about me that he really wants to do this.
“Yes?”
“Yes.” He launches himself at me and tackles me to the sand. He cradles
the back of my head as he lowers me before dropping his weight onto my
body and finding my lips.
He kisses me until we’re both breathless and our lungs are screaming
for air. He brushes his lips along my jaw until he gets to my ear.
“You know I’ve got a studio in Vegas, right?” His hand skims up over
my hip and squeezes my waist.
“Of course. W-what are you suggesting?”
He pulls back and looks at me, something wicked twinkling in his eyes.
“Fancy a diversion before heading home?”
“Is that a trick question?” I ask, repeating my words from earlier.
 He pulls back, cups my jaw in his hand and rubs his thumb over my
bottom lip. “You want to invite anyone?”
Holy shit, he’s serious.

Five days later, the two of us are standing in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas
with the biggest grins on our faces. I glance over my shoulder and take in
our two and only guests, Danni and Titch. Corey was desperate to follow
us, but he was booked solid at the studio. They both smile back at me, but
I’m not convinced by Danni’s delight. She might be happy that we’re doing
this, but she’s anything but happy about being forced to spend time with
Titch.
I’m dragged back to the here and now when the officiant before me
speaks once again. “Tabitha, your vows,” he prompts.
Opening my bag, I pull out the napkin I wrote them on the other night
when we made the crazy decision to write our own.
“I, Tabitha Anderson, take you, Zachary Abbot, to be my husband. I
promise to be there for you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.
I promise to be everything you want as well as things you don’t even know
you need. I promise to support you and be your partner in crime as well as
your sounding board when you’re growing your empire. I promise to love
you, honour you, and hate you all the days of my life.” He barks a laugh at
my final words.
“Zachary,” the officiant prompts. But unlike me, he doesn’t pull out
some scribbled notes, he just stares into my eyes and either makes it up as
he goes along or he’s been secretly memorising them.
“I, Zachary Abbot, take you, Tabitha Anderson, to be my wife. I had no
idea I was missing something, but I now realise I didn’t stop for long
enough to notice as I ran from a part of my life I didn’t think I wanted. But
you came crashing in and forced yourself on me,” Danni snorts behind us,
but he’s undeterred, “and showed me what I was missing. I’ve equally
loved and hated our time together, and I know that I’m only going to love
and hate it more with every day that passes. You’re that final stroke of
paint, the last drop of ink, that completes me. You make me whole, Tabby
Cat, and I promise to show you how much I love you every day.”
 I wipe the tears from my eyes as he reaches out to take my hand.
I pretty much sob through the rings part of the ceremony, and before I
know what’s happening our very small congregation is clapping as we start
to make our way back down the aisle.
Zach’s hot fingers squeeze mine tightly, and the reality of what we’ve
just done hits me. I look up at him and find the widest smile I think I’ve
ever seen on his face.
“You okay, wife?” he asks when he notices me watching him.
“I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Believe it, Kitten.” He lifts my hand and kisses my new rings. When
we eventually dragged ourselves off the beach the night he spontaneously
proposed we got an Uber to the closest jewellery shop and he bought me the
most stunning platinum, princess cut engagement ring that now sits proudly
next to the simple wedding band we chose to go with it.
Excitement shoots through me. I’ve never done anything so crazy in my
entire life, but equally, I’ve never done anything that feels so right.
The second we’re in the chapel’s reception he pushes me up against the
wall and crashes his lips to mine.
“Jesus, you might be man and wife now, but I still don’t need to see
that,” Danni complains when she and Titch appear behind us.
Zach releases me and accepts congratulations from our two best friends
before the four of us walk out of the chapel.
It’s dark out now, and the lights from the strip illuminate the sky.
“Mum and Dad are going to fucking kill you, you know that right?”
Danni says, trailing behind us. “You remember what Mum was like when
she found out Harrison did this with Summer without them? She forced that
big wedding on them.”
“I’m pretty sure they’re in no position to criticise me ever again, Dan.
And we’re not having one of those weddings.”
“Maybe, but they’ll be gutted they didn’t get to see that.”
“You took pictures, right?”
“Of course, but I’m not sure they’ll be happy with that. And your
parents are going to go nuclear,” she says, turning to me.
“Meh, it’s a bit late now.” Finally, I feel strong enough with who I am
and what I want with my life that my parents’ opinions no longer matter.
The only person’s opinion I care about is the one who’s holding my hand
right now and looking down at me like I’m the most amazing person in the
world.
“I’m starving,” Titch complains, much to Danni’s disgust. “Where are
we celebrating this epic union?”
“Burger place?” Zach suggests, and in that moment I couldn’t think of
anything better.
We fill up on burgers and chips before hitting the casino in our hotel, all
delighting in watching Zach lose a bit of his well-earned money before we
descend to the night club in the basement to drink and dance the night away.
I’ve no idea what the time is when we crash through the door to our
hotel suite, but the sun’s starting to come up and I’m more drunk than I’ve
been in a long time. I think most of my buzz is due to the man who’s
currently pushing me up against the nearest wall than it is the drinks I’ve
consumed.
“I didn’t think I was ever going to get you alone.”
His lips find mine, and his tongue plunges between my lips. His hands
skim down my waist, bunching up the full skirt of my tea length wedding
dress until he finds the soft skin of my thighs.
He works his way up until he finds the lace of my stockings and garter
belt. “Umm… what are you doing to me?” he groans against my lips, his
fingertips tracing the lines if my lingerie.
I gasp when he rubs at me over the lace of my knickers, my head falling
back against the wall as he grazes his teeth over the sensitive skin below my
ear.
“Zach,” I beg, needing more than he’s giving me.
He kisses down my chest and over the swell of my breasts that sit above
the neckline.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look today? How lucky I am to be
able to officially call you mine? How badly I want to show you just how I
treat things that belong to me?” His fingers slip beneath the lace and I cry
out when he connects with my clit.
“Fuck, I want to taste you right now.”
“Go on then.” My voice is no more than a breathy whisper. He glances
up at me, a salacious smile playing on his lips before he disappears under
the mass of fabric that hangs from my waist.
His fingers find the sides of my knickers and he slowly pulls them down
my legs until he taps my ankles one at a time so he can remove them
completely. He rubs his nose against my smooth skin before parting me and
pressing his tongue where I need him most.
Lifting one of my legs, he drops it over his shoulder, leaving me
balancing on one unsteady leg as he eats me until I’m crying out his name
and clenching around his finger seated deep inside me.
When he emerges from my dress, his face glistens with my arousal and
his hair’s a mess from the lace it was brushing against.
He wipes his mouth before starting to undo his shirt buttons. He drops
the fabric to the floor and my eyes feast on his inked skin. My mouth waters
like always as I take in his sculpted torso and his deep v lines that disappear
into his boxers. I bite down on the inside of my cheek as my need to run my
tongue down the ridges gets too much to bear.
“I need you naked. Right. Now.”
Taking my hand, Zach pulls me from the wall and spins me so he can
find the zip at my back. Painfully slowly, he pulls it down and then pushes
the fabric from my shoulders. The dress pools at my feet, leaving me in
only my lingerie.
“As sexy as this is, I want you in nothing but my ring.”
Heat floods my core, his hand brushing against my back as he finds the
clasp of my bra and releases it. The lace joins my dress, and my shoes,
garter belt and stockings join them only seconds later.
Once I’m naked, I reach for him and help him remove his final items of
clothing. The second he’s bare, he pulls me into his body, his lips find mine,
and he lifts me so I’ve no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. The
head of his cock teases my entrance. I grind my hips, trying to get more of
him. He chuckles almost painfully as he walks us to the bed.
“So impatient,” he murmurs.
“I want to feel my husband moving inside me.”
He groans, his eyes darkening before me as he lowers me to the bed and
settles himself between my thighs.
“I promise to love you now.” Thrust. “Forever.” Thrust. “And always.”
Thrust. “I fucking love you, Tabby Cat.”
“I love you too, almost as much as I hate you.” He laughs, but it’s cut
off when his lips find mine and he sets about spending what’s left of the
night showing me just how much he loves me.
I can barely move when we wake the next morning. Every single one of my
muscles pulls deliciously, reminding me of our wedding night.
“Morning, wife,” he whispers, his rough, sleepy voice sparking a desire
within me that really should be sated.
“Morning, husband.”
“Hmmm… I love the sound of that.”
“I don’t want to ever leave this bed,” I admit, snuggling into his side.
“Shall we order room service? I really need to eat.”
I groan. “We promised Danni and Titch we’d meet them for lunch.”
“My sister is such a cock block,” Zach complains, rolling on top of me,
proving that I’m not the only one who’s ready for our next round.
“Come on, hot shot. We’ve got the rest of our lives for that. I need a
shower before gracing other human beings with my presence.”
“Shower, that sounds perfect.”
As expected, Zach gets his way in the shower and it takes much longer
than I was anticipating to eventually get out of the suite to meet our two
guests for a very late lunch.
Amazingly, they’re not sitting at a table waiting for us when we get
down to the restaurant we agreed on last night. We order ourselves coffees
and are busy reading the menu when Danni and Titch join us at exactly the
same time, looking much the worse for wear.
“Well, aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes,” I say, laughing at their
slightly green faces as they keep the sunshine streaming through the
windows to their backs. “Have a good night after we left you, then?”
“Can we not talk about it?” Danni asks, reaching across the table to
steal my coffee.
“Sure but don’t think—wait, what’s this?” I ask when something on her
finger catches me eye. “Is that a fucking wedding ring?”
All four of us stare down at her ring finger in shock, but none more so
than Danni and Titch.
“Oh fuck,” she groans, releasing her grip on the mug and holding her
hand out in front of her. Reaching down, she lifts Titch’s hand from his lap
and her eyes almost pop out of her head. Titch, on the other hand, doesn’t
look so shocked. If anything, he looks smug as fuck.
Oh, this is going to be interesting.
 TRICK YOU is coming 16th JULY 2o2o
PRE-ORDER NOW to discover what’s happened between Danni and Titch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you loved the angst of Hate You then you should check out my
Rosewood High series. It’s full of delicious angst, steam and drama.
It starts with THORN. DOWNLOAD NOW it’s also FREE in KU.

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 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This story has been such a long time coming. When I wrote His Manhattan
back in 2018, I fell in love with Zach and he’s been begging me ever since
to write this story—so much so I had to name drop him in the Forbidden
books!
I’m so in love with Biff and Zach. Discovering their story has been so
much fun, as well as finally getting to find out more about them and what
makes them tick along with all my new guys.
I’m so excited to dive back into this series and learn more about Danni
and Titch, along with a few others that I hope you’re curious about as well.
As always, I’ve got a ton of people to thank. Michelle, who alpha read
this for me as I was writing and kicked my arse when I wasn’t going fast
enough. Deanna, Lindsay, Susanne, Nicole and Tracy, thank you for
dropping everything to beta read for me.
Sam, for everything! Seriously, I wouldn’t be able to do this without
you.
Evelyn, thank you for putting up with my repetitive typos that I seem to
miss no matter what.
Paige, for polishing this up and making Biff and Zach as pretty as
possible.
This book is a first for me in the fact that both the e-book and
audiobook should be released at the same time. So a massive thank you to
Kim Loraine, Kylie Stewart and Shane East for making it happen at such
short notice.
 And last but never least, my husband and daughter for supporting me
and the hours I spend with my laptop.

Until next time,

Tracy xo

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 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tracy Lorraine is a M/F and M/M contemporary romance author. Tracy has just turned thirty and
lives in a cute Cotswold village in England with her husband, baby girl and lovable but slightly crazy
dog. Having always been a bookaholic with her head stuck in her Kindle, Tracy decided to try her
hand at a story idea she dreamt up and hasn’t looked back since.

Be the first to find out about new releases and offers. Sign up to my newsletter here.

If you want to know what I’m up to and see teasers and snippets of what I’m working on, then you
need to be in my Facebook group. Join Tracy’s Angels here.

Keep up to date with Tracy’s books at

www.tracylorraine.com

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 ALSO BY TRACY LORRAINE

Falling Series
Falling for Ryan: Part One #1
Falling for Ryan: Part Two #2
Falling for Jax #3
Falling for Daniel (An Falling Series Novella)
Falling for Ruben #4
Falling for Fin #5
Falling for Lucas #6
Falling for Caleb #7
Falling for Declan #8
Falling For Liam #9

Forbidden Series
Falling for the Forbidden #1
Losing the Forbidden #2
Fighting for the Forbidden #3
Craving Redemption #4
Demanding Redemption #5
Avoiding Temptation #6
Chasing Temptation #7

Rebel Ink Series

Hate You #1
Trick You #2
TBC #3
TBC #4

Rosewood High Series

Thorn #1
Paine #2
Savage #3
 Ruined Series
Ruined Plans #1
Ruined by Lies #2
Ruined Promises #3

Never Forget Series

Never Forget Him #1
Never Forget Us #2
Everywhere & Nowhere #3

Chasing Series
Chasing Logan

The Cocktail Girls

His Manhattan
Her Kensington

Co-written with Angel Devlin

Hot Daddy Series

Hot Daddy Sauce #1
Baby Daddy Rescue #2
The Daddy Dilemma #3
Single Daddy Seduction #4
Hot Daddy Package #5

B.A.D. Inc. Series

Torment #1
Ride #2
Bait #3
Break #4
Provoke #5

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FALLING FOR THE FORBIDDEN SNEAK PEEK

OceanofPDF.com
 CHAPTER ONE

Falling down on my bed, I blow out a long breath and tell myself that
everything will be okay.
I had plans for this summer—a few weeks of fun before uni starts. The
girls and I had been looking at last-minute holiday deals, and we had tickets
for a music festival…but then my dad swooped in, in that way that he does,
and ruined everything.
I knew it was coming.
I just wasn’t expecting it quite yet.
I’d hoped agreeing to study what he wanted me to and working for him
was enough—apparently not.
I decided a few years ago that I wasn’t going to move away to study. I
mostly love my life in London, and I loved living with Mum. I’m not
ashamed to admit that she’s one of my best friends. It was only as I started
looking at universities that my dad piped up and told me that I would be
studying accountancy and finance at The London School of Economics.
He’d done his research and decided it was the best place for me to learn my
trade so I could enter the family business.
I just about managed to contain my laughter when he emphasised the
word family.
I’ve no idea how long I lie on my bed trying to convince myself that
moving into his house with his new wife and her son isn’t the worst thing to
ever happen to me, but eventually my stomach rumbling has me moving. I
sit on the edge of the bed and take in all my half-unpacked boxes. A large
sigh falls from my lips. If I don’t find everything a home, maybe I won’t
have to stay. I know it’s wishful thinking. This is it for me now.
Disappointment floods me as I make my way through the silent house.
It’s not that I was expecting a welcome party or anything, but someone
being here would have been nice. Someone to help me carry everything up
to my room would have been even nicer. Since Dad moved in with Jenny a
few years ago, I’ve been told to treat this place like my home.
It will never be.
It's just a house, a show home, a shell in which I'm scared to touch
anything for fear of making a mess. Home is a place with character, with
mess from day-to-day living, with people who love and care for you.
My dad isn’t a bad man, per se, but he’s not exactly what you’d describe
as a doting father. Everything he does is for his own gain—if it happens to
help others in the process, that’s just a bonus.
My step mum, Jenny, is lovely. She really is, but I can’t help feeling like
she’s just a little bit…broken. She makes all the right comments and does
all the right things. She’s a great mum. But there’s such sadness in her eyes.
The fridge is full, as usual. It’s strange, because I’ve never witnessed
anyone eating more than a slice of toast or an apple in this kitchen.
I fix myself a salad with the unopened packets of fruit and vegetables,
but it doesn’t really have the effect I needed it to have. Being here makes
me feel kind of empty, and no amount of lettuce leaves is going to fill the
void after moving out of the flat Mum and I shared for the past few years.
Rummaging through the cupboards, I can’t help smiling when I find a
stash of naughty stuff hiding at the back.
Pulling my hair back into a messy bun, I put my thoughts to the side and
set about making something that will make me feel just a little bit better.
The sun’s just about to set, casting an orange glow throughout the
kitchen. It almost makes it feel warm and inviting—almost. My mouth
waters as I pour melted chocolate over the crushed biscuits and
marshmallows I’ve managed not to eat already. Standing in only a vest and
a small pair of hot pants, I decide to make myself a hot chocolate, grab a
blanket, and enjoy my bowl of goodness out on the deck with a magazine.
Chocolate makes everything that little bit better. If I eat enough, it might
make me forget what this summer’s actually going to be like for me.
I’m just waiting for the kettle to boil when a shiver runs down my spine.
I’m sure it’s just the size of the house that freaks me out. I’ve seen enough
horror films to know there are plenty of hiding places in a place this big.
I’m still for a second, but when I don’t hear anything, I continue with
what I was doing. That is, until a deep rumbling voice has every nerve in
my body on alert.
“Wow, step daddy sure is attracting the young ones these days.” His
voice is slurred, his anger palpable. It makes goosebumps prick my skin and
a giant lump form in my throat. “You look too pure. Too innocent to be with
that prick,” he spits.
There’s no love lost between my dad and my stepbrother, that’s not
news to me, but the viciousness of his voice right now makes me wonder
what their relationship is really like. My dad might be many things, but he
wouldn’t cheat on Jenny—he loves her too much.
I can’t remember the last time I saw him, but there’s no way he can’t
know it’s me. Who the hell else would be cooking in his kitchen? Deciding
he’s just trying to rile me up, I go to collect my stuff and get out of his way.
Unfortunately, he seems to have other ideas.
His breath tickles up my neck moments before the heat of his body
warms my back.
“You came here for the wrong man. I can put that right, though.” The
alcohol on his breath surrounds me. It’s a reminder that there’s a good
chance he has no idea what he’s doing right now.
The softness of his nose running up the length of my neck has tingles
racing through my traitorous body. I don’t realise he’s smelling me until he
blows out a long breath and the scent of alcohol hits me once again. I turn
to leave, but his hands slam on the counter behind me and cage me in.
“Look at me,” he demands.
“Let me go, Ben.”
If he’s surprised to discover it’s me, he doesn’t show it. If anything, his
eyes shine with delight as he takes in every inch of my face before focusing
on my lips. My stomach flips, knowing where his thoughts are.
Something passes over his face but it’s gone too quickly to be able to
identify. He pushes himself from the counter and away from me. No more
words are said, but when he gets to the door, he looks back over his
shoulder and runs his eyes over my body. They hold a warning I don’t
really understand.
Once he’s disappeared from sight, I sag back against the counter. What
the hell was that?
 After putting half of the rocky road on a tray in the fridge, I forgo sitting
outside and instead take my spoils to my room to hide. There’s stuff
everywhere in my room and, unlike the rest of this house, it makes me feel
a little more relaxed.
Since the day Ben and I were introduced by our parents, we’ve not
really had any kind of relationship. He’s pretty much stayed out of my way
and, in turn, I’ve done the same. It’s not all that much of a task. When I’m
here, he spends almost every minute somewhere else. When he’s home, he’s
moody, arrogant, and generally a prick, so I’m more than happy to stay out
of his way.
It’s just a shame he’s so damn pretty to look at. As the years have
passed, he’s only become more attractive, too. I’ve no idea if it’s just his job
or if he works out as well because every inch of him seems to be toned to
perfection.
Jenny spends most of her time apologising for his attitude and trying to
explain that he’s got a lot going on. I’m yet to discover what that is. As far
as I can tell, he seems to be your average twenty-year-old guy who’d rather
be off his arse drunk or with a woman than spending time at home with his
parents.
By the time I’ve dug my way to the bottom of the bowl, I feel pretty
sick. There’s still no sign of my dad or Jenny, but the music pounding from
Ben’s room across the hallway leaves no doubt as to what kind of mood
he’s in.

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