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    Task 1 Ha An

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    bkxmsdwgqq
    The bar graph and table show earnings from exporting for one country between 2015 and 2016 across five fields. Petroleum goods and engineered products generated the largest income. Except for gems and jewelry, the other four categories saw moderate profit growth over the year. Petroleum exports rose slightly from over $60 billion to $63 billion. Exports of engineered merchandise increased more sharply at 8.5%. Agricultural goods exports remained stable at $32 billion. Textiles was the only sector with the highest increase in export value, up 15.24% in 2016. Gems and jewelry profits fell marginally from over $42 billion to slightly over $40 billion.

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    Task 1 Ha An

    Uploaded by

    bkxmsdwgqq
    14 views2 pages
    The bar graph and table show earnings from exporting for one country between 2015 and 2016 across five fields. Petroleum goods and engineered products generated the largest income. Except for gems and jewelry, the other four categories saw moderate profit growth over the year. Petroleum exports rose slightly from over $60 billion to $63 billion. Exports of engineered merchandise increased more sharply at 8.5%. Agricultural goods exports remained stable at $32 billion. Textiles was the only sector with the highest increase in export value, up 15.24% in 2016. Gems and jewelry profits fell marginally from over $42 billion to slightly over $40 billion.

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    task 1 ha an

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    The bar graph and table show earnings from exporting for one country between 2015 and 2016 across five fields. Petroleum goods and engineered products generated the largest income. Except for gems and jewelry, the other four categories saw moderate profit growth over the year. Petroleum exports rose slightly from over $60 billion to $63 billion. Exports of engineered merchandise increased more sharply at 8.5%. Agricultural goods exports remained stable at $32 billion. Textiles was the only sector with the highest increase in export value, up 15.24% in 2016. Gems and jewelry profits fell marginally from over $42 billion to slightly over $40 billion.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    14 views2 pages

    Task 1 Ha An

    Uploaded by

    bkxmsdwgqq
    The bar graph and table show earnings from exporting for one country between 2015 and 2016 across five fields. Petroleum goods and engineered products generated the largest income. Except for gems and jewelry, the other four categories saw moderate profit growth over the year. Petroleum exports rose slightly from over $60 billion to $63 billion. Exports of engineered merchandise increased more sharply at 8.5%. Agricultural goods exports remained stable at $32 billion. Textiles was the only sector with the highest increase in export value, up 15.24% in 2016. Gems and jewelry profits fell marginally from over $42 billion to slightly over $40 billion.

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    Writing task 1: ORIGINAL

    The bar graph below indicates figure for the earning of one country provided by exporting in 5 different
    fields between 2015 and 2016. The proportion change of each categories is illustrated in the table below
    Broadly, it is obvious that petroleum goods and engineered products were both fundamental industry
    which created the largest income from selling their merchandises. Excepting from gems and jewellery, all
    of others 4 categories witnessed a moderate growth about profit in a period of 1 year from 2015 to 2016.
    To begin with, there was a slight rise of 3% in the amount of money provided by trading fossil fuel
    products in 2016 from just over 60 billions to 63 billions. The year 2016 witnessed a more apparent
    increase of 8,5 % in the profit becoming exporting engineered merchandises.
    In term of selling at agricultural goods, the figure for this field in a country remained stable in the region
    of 32 billions. Textile industry was the only category having the highest upward trend in the value of
    exporting which accounted for 15,24% in 2016. Finally, standing at well over 42 billions, the profit
    coming from exchanging gems and jewellery declined marginally to slightly over 40 billions after 1 year.
    Corrected by GRAMMARLY APP:
    The bar graph below indicates the figure for the earning of one country provided by exporting in 5
    different fields between 2015 and 2016. The proportion change of each category is illustrated in the table
    below
    Broadly, it is obvious that petroleum goods and engineered products were both fundamental industries
    that created the largest income from selling their merchandise. Excepting for gems and jewellery, all of
    the other 4 categories witnessed moderate growth in profit in a period of 1 year from 2015 to 2016.
    To begin with, there was a slight rise of 3% in the amount of money provided by trading fossil fuel
    products in 2016 from just over 60 billion to 63 billion. The year 2016 witnessed a more apparent
    increase of 8,5 % in the profit becoming exporting engineered merchandise.
    In terms of selling agricultural goods, the figure for this field in a country remained stable in the region of
    32 billion. The textile industry was the only category having the highest upward trend in the value of
    exporting which accounted for 15,24% in 2016. Finally, standing at well over 42 billion, the profit
    coming from exchanging gems and jewellery

    ASSESSMENT:
    Task Achievement: 7/9 The response describes the main trends and compares the earnings of 5 different
    fields of a country in 2015 and 2016..
    Coherence and Cohesion: 7/9 The response is generally easy to follow but has some coherence and
    cohesion issues.
    Vocabulary: 7/9 The candidate uses a range of vocabulary but with limited flexibility and accuracy.
    Some words and phrases are not used correctly, which affects the overall coherence of the text. For
    example, "excepting" instead of "except for".
    Grammar: 7/9 The candidate demonstrates some control of grammar.
    Overall Score: 7/9
    Vocabulary errors:
     "excepting" should be "except for"
     "upward trend in the value of exporting" could be "upward trend in export value" or "an increase
    in the value of exports"
    Grammatical errors:
     "Becoming exporting" should be "from exporting"
     "The year 2016 witnessed a more apparent increase of 8,5 % in the profit becoming exporting
    engineered merchandise" could be "The year 2016 witnessed a more apparent increase of 8.5% in
    the profit from exporting engineered merchandise"
     "The textile industry was the only category having the highest upward trend in the value of
    exporting which accounted for 15,24% in 2016" could be "The textile industry had the highest
    upward trend in export value, accounting for 15.24% in 2016."

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