ACCEPT ME

LIVING SMILE VIDYA

L. Answer the following in one or two sentences.

1. Who is Kalaichelvi Ayah?

Kalaichelvi Ayah is the person who took Vidya, who was Saravanan earlier, to Pune by train. According to
the tradition of the tirunangais, she was the nani or maternal grandmother of Vidya.

2. What are the etiquettes expected by the older tirunangais from the younger ones?

The older tirunangais expect much respect from the younger ones.

They don't like the ones sitting with them. They expect the younger ones even to clean their spittoons
and massage their legs.

3. Who is Arunamma?

Arunamma was Vidya's amma in the tirunangai world. She ran an NGO and was in contact with the
outside world.

4. How is the harassment of tirunangais different from the ragging of college students?

The harassment of tirunangais is different from the ragging of college students as once you settle down
with a group of tirunangais, the harassment stops. When a newcomer comes, attention goes to her. The
transgenders are marginalised by society and so they find some pleasure in taunting others.

5. What the advice given by Kalaichelvi Ayah to Vidya on their way to the city post in an auto-rickshaw?

Kalaichelvi Ayah advised Vidya no to go wandering around and to follow her closely. As soon as she
enters the City Post, she should fall at Nani's feet and receive her blessings.

6. Why did Ayah ask Vidya to change her name?

Vidya wanted her name to be Preeti. But when Ayah heard it, she said there had been a Preeti before
with her. She died young and so the name Preeti was considered a bad omen at her new home. So she
accepted the name Vidya.

7. Why did Satya propose the name Vidya?

Vidya proposed the name Vidya because it rhymes with her name Satya and they were now sisters. .

8. What is a reet?

A reet is a ritual of formally enrolling in the community of tirunangais One paid a small sum and then she
was enrolled in the parivar/ parampara list.

9. Why Vidya get disturbed when Radha called her Saravana?

Vidya got disturbed when Radha called her Saravana because nobody had called her by that name for
long and right now she was wearing a sari and she did not expect to be called by her old name.
10. Why was Vidya anxious to meet her father?

Vidya was anxious to meet her father because she was worried and upset thinking how her father
would react to see her in a sari with her new name Vidya, a tirunangai.

11. What was the only consolation felt by Vidya at the end?

The only consolation felt by Vidya at the end was that her family now knew the truth about her - that
she is a tirunangal and not the old Saravanan.

12.How does Arunamma help in consoling Vidya's Appa?

Arunamma helped in consoling Vidya's Appa by telling him that times have changed and even science
accepts the tirunangais as they are. tirunangais can do what normal men and women can and so he
should change his attitude.

II. Answer the following questions in a paragraph.

. 1. What advice Nani give to Vidya?

Nani told Vidya that she could sing and dance as much as she wants, but she should respect elders, and
get on well with younger people. She should go back to her if she needed anything. Nani asked Vidya to
go out with Satya and shop. Satya had joined the place before Vidya. "Shop" in the tirunangai slang
meant seeking alms from the shops. Nani told Vidya that she should bring at least Rs. 300 each day.
Then in six months' time Vidya's nirvana would be performed. She warned Vidya not to be proud
because of her college education. If Vidya got into any mischief Nani would get nasty. When Nani asked
Vidya for her name, she said "Preeti". Then Nani asked her to change her name because there was
someone named Preeti and she died young. So the name Preeti was considered a bad omen at her new
home.

2. Comment on the "parivar" or family system of tirunangais

The parivar or parampara is a family or group of tirunangais. By doing a reet, a new entrant becomes a
member of the tirunangais The tirunangais have 7 parivars in Chennai. Each parivar has a name. All the
tirunangais in Mumbai come under one of these 7 groups. Vidya was registered in the Bhendi Parivar. If
someone wants to change the group, she has to pay a fine. There is a whole hierarchy of amma, nani
and dadi - mother, grandmother and great grandmother. Usually a new person chooses amma and
becomes her chela or disciple. A senior chela is an elder sister. After Vidya's registration, a veteran
tirunangai gifted her a sari. It is a mandatory custom there. The life of a tirunangai is bound by
thousands of unwritter les and regulations.

3. What are the customs followed by tirunangais?

Tirunangais have some strange customs. Once a new person comes, she should fall at the feet of the
Nani to get her blessings. Each tirunangai has to shop and bring at least Rs. 300 each day. "Shopping" in
tirunangai slang means going to the different shops and getting alms from them. The younger
tirunangais have to pay respect to elder ones. The elder ones expect the younger ones to clean their
spittoons and massage their legs. The younger tirunangais are not supposed to sit with the older ones.
The fresh persons will be officially enrolled into the tirunangal community by performing a reet. The
new entrant has to pay a fee for that. The tirunangais have 7 parivars in Chennai. Each parivar has a
name. All the tirunangais in Mumbai come under one of these 7 groups. If someone wants to change the
group, she has to pay a fine. There is a whole hierarchy of amma, nani and dadi - mother, grandmother
and great grandmother. Usually a new person chooses her amma and becomes her chela or disciple. A
senior chela is an elder sister. When a new registration is done, a veteran tirunangai gifts a sari to the
new entrant. The life of a tirunangai is bound by of unwritten rules and regulations.

4.What was the reaction of Saravana's family when they learned that he was a tirunangai?

When they learned that Saravana was a tirunangai, the family members were shocked. They all felt very
bad about it. The first to know about the truth of Saravana's change to Vidya was her sister Radha.
Radha did not know how to say it to their Appa. When Appa repeatedly asked Radha abou. Saravana,
Radha had to reveal the secret to him and he was shattered. He wept and wailed. He felt his dignity was
decimated and his pride adversely affected. Finally when Appa and Radha went to meet Vidya, Appa
refused to see her as she was wearing a sari. Finally Vidya wore a shirt as per the advice of Radha and
Arunamma. Only then Appa agreed to speak with her. All of them tried to explain Vidya's position to
Appa. He was totally unwilling to listen, weeping throughout. He then folded his arms and pleaded with
Arunamma to release his son. Vidya then tried to speak calmly with her Appa. She asked him if he would
not accept her if she physically maimed. Why doesn't he treat her predicament similarly? Arunamma
also tried to convince Appa to accept the change.

5. Comment on the first meeting of Vidya with her parents?

The first meeting of Vidya with her parents was very sad and agonising. Vidya was summoned to
Chennai by Arunamma. After two days of Vidya's coming to Chennai, Vidya's family was asked to come
to meet her. Two tirunangai sisters were with Vidya - Viji and Bhumika. Vidya wore a beautiful black sari
with a broad silver border. When she saw her sister Radha at the entrance to the station, her heart
nearly stopped and tears filled her eyes. Vidya called Radha, and she called her Saravana. Vidya was
hearing that name after such a long time. Why did her sister call her that name even when she saw her
in a sari? She then told her she was Vidya now. Mama and Sekhar Chittapa joined us. Sekhar was the
only person before whom Vidya could feel relaxed. Appa was not there. When Vidya asked Radha where
Appa was, she said he was waiting for Vidya to call him. Meeting Radha and Mama was not a big
problem but meeting Appa was. He was certain to break down to pieces. Vidya felt she had destroyed
his dreams. his dignity and his pride. How would she face him? Vidya went to him where he was. He
then said, "I don't want to see him. Ask him to get away from me." His last glimmer of hope must have
vanished when he saw Vidya in a sari. He was crying and Radha too cried. Sekhar Chitappa tried to
console Appa. Radha was the first to recover from the shock. She accepted Vidya's change thinking that
she was happy with it. As Appa refused to see Vidya in a sari, she wore a shirt. Only then Appa agreed to
speak with her. Whatever Vidya and others said, her Appa was not willing to accept the change.

6. How did Appa react when he first met Vidya?

When he first met Vidya, Appa was not even willing to talk to her because she was wearing a black sari
with a broad silver border. For him she was his son Saravana and not Vidya, a tirunangai. When Vidya
went to him where he was, he said, "I don't want to see him. Ask him to get away from me." His last
glimmer of hope must have vanished when he saw Vidya in a sari. He was crying and Radha too cried.
Sekhar Chitappa tried to console Appa. Radha was the first to recover from the shock. As Appa refused
to see Vidya in a sari, on the advice of others she wore a shirt. Only then Appa agreed to speak with her.
All of them tried to explain Vidya's position to Appa. He was totally unwilling to listen and he was
weeping throughout. He then folded his arms and pleaded with Arunamma to release his son. Vidya
then tried to speak calmly with Appa. She asked him if he would not accept her if she was physically
maimed. Why doesn't he treat her predicament similarly? Arunamma also spoke with him. She told him
that times have changed. Even science accepts tirunangais. They can do what normal men and women
can and so he should change. Vidya told him she would prove herself as an actress. These words made
Appa more angry and Mama was about to hit her.

III. Answer the following questions in about 300 words.

1. Discuss the agonies and anxieties felt by Vidya on her journey to be a tirunangai.

Vidya faced many agonies and anxieties on her journey to be a tirunangai. She was born as a boy and
her parents named him Saravana. But even from childhood she used to have a preference for girlish
things. She liked to wear the dresses of her sister Radha. She used to dance when she heard some
female singers like Chitra on the radio or TV. Her mother was angry with her for her feminine
preferences.

Social exclusion is the major trauma faced by trans-genders. They are restricted from doing so many
things which are their fundamental rights. They are often not given proper access to education and
employment. They are excluded from family and society. They are not given proper protection against
violence by miscreants. Vidya's story is a narrative about a woman trapped within a man's body. It is a
story of extraordinary courage and perseverance. One sees here how much pain one undergoes during
the physical and mental transformation of a boy into a tirunangai.

We see how she flees from home and how she is taken to Pune by Kalaichelvi Ayah and Shanti by train.
The older tirunangais spent their time cards and bossing over Vidya. They gave her many things to do.
But she didn't mind. She was hardened by her experiences. She wanted to remove all traces of
manliness in her. She is then taken to Nani. Nani told Vidya that she could sing and dance as much as
she wants, but she should respect elders, and get on well with younger people. She asked Vidya to go
out with Satya and shop. Satya had joined the place before Vidya. "Shop" in the tirunangai slang meant
seeking alms from the shops. Nani told Vidya that she should bring at least Rs. 300 each day. Then in six
months' time Vidya's nirvana would be performed. She warned Vidya not to be proud because of her
college education. If Vidya got into any mischief Nani would get nasty.

worst suffering for Vidya was when she wanted to meet the family members. Radha was shocked to see
her in a sari. Her father refused to see her in a sari and she had to change into a shirt. His last glimmer of
hope must have vanished when he saw Vidya in a sari. He was crying and Radha too cried. All of them
tried to explain Vidya's position to Appa. He was totally unwilling to listen and he was weeping
throughout. He then folded his arms and pleaded with Arunamma to release his son.

Vidya then tried to speak calmly with Appa. She asked him if he would not accept her if she was
physically maimed. Why doesn't he treat her predicament similarly? Arunamma also spoke with him.
She told him that times have changed. Even science accepts tirunangais. They can do what normal men
and women can and so he should change. Vidya told him she would prove herself as an actress. These
words made Appa more angry and Mama was about to hit her. Her journey was certainly traumatic and
miserable.
2. My worries were mine and his tragedy was his. It was an inconclusive meeting." Discuss.

These are the bitter words uttered by Vidya after her meeting with her father who was not ready to
accept the change of Vidya into a trans-woman. Vidya faced many agonies and anxieties on her journey
to be a tirunangai. She was born as a boy and her parents named him Saravana. But even from the
childhood she used to have a preference for girlish things. She liked to wear the dresses of her sister
Radha. She used to dance when she heard some female singers like Chitra on the radio or TV. Her
mother was angry with her for her feminine preferences.

Social exclusion is the major trauma faced by the transgenders. They are restricted from doing so many
things which are their fundamental rights. They are often not given proper access to education and
employment. They are excluded from family and society. They are not given proper protection against
violence by the miscreants. In spite of all the problems the boy Saravana becomes the transwoman
Vidya.

The biggest problem Vidya faced was meeting her family after her change into a transwoman. To meet
the members of her family. she wore a beautiful black sari with a broad silver border. When she saw her
sister Radha at the entrance to the station, her heart early stopped and tears filled her eyes. She called
Radha, and Radha called her Saravana. Vidya was hearing that name after such a long time. Why did her
sister call her that name even when she saw her in a sari? She then told her she was Vidya now. When
Vidya asked Radha where Appa was, she said he was waiting for her to call him. Meeting Radha and
Mama was not big problem but meeting Appa was. He was certain to break down to pieces. Vidya felt
she had destroyed his dreams, his dignity and his pride. How would she face him? Vidya went to him
where he was. He then said, "I don't want to see him. Ask him to get away from me." His last glimmer of
hope must have vanished when he saw Vidya in a sari. He was crying and Radha too cried. Radha
accepted her change thinking that she was happy with it.

In spite of her very best efforts, her Appa was not willing to accept her. He was crying and wailing all the
time. He even pleaded with Arunamma go give him his son, his old Saravanan. Even Arunamma pleaded
with him saying that he should accept reality. Even science has accepted the transgenders and they can
do anything that other men and women can do. But Appa was beyond consolation. And that is why
Vidya says, "My worries were mine and his tragedy was his." The meeting was inconclusive.