A Message Exclusively to the

MUSLIM
WOMAN
BY SHAYKH JAMAL AL-HARITHI
 © Authentic Statements Publishing, USA

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ISBN: 978-1-5323-3387-3

First Edition: Jumada al-Awwal 1438 AH / February 2017 CE

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 Transliteration Table

Consonants

• J d (J-3 d ^ k

b ^ dh t J 1

t J r z f m

th J 2 t O n

-A h

L>“ sh l—* 1 J w

c kh O'3 s <3 q lS y

Vowels

Short — a — i — u

Long a , g— I jL u

Diphthongs ay/ai 3- aw

Glyphs

“l i f Sallalldhu 'alayhi iva sallam (M ay Allah's praise & salutations be upon him)

i R a d i y a l l a h u 'anhu (M ay Allah he pleased with him)

Radiyalhihu 'atiha (M ay Allah be pleased with her)

jjij& Rahimalmlltih (M ay Allah have mercy on him)

 Contents

In tro ductio n .................................................................................................................... 7

F ir st A d v ic e : Lower Your Gaze ............................................................................9

S econ d A d v ic e : Adorn the Proper Attire ....................................................... 12

T h ir d A d v ic e : Seek K n o w ledge........................................................................... 1 7

The Danger o f Private Classes

Fourth A d v ic e :
Between M en & W omen ......................................................................................... 20

Fifth A d v i c e : Know the Rights o f Your Husband ..................................... 22

The Story o f Zaynab Bint Jarir ..............................................................................25

A M other’s Advice to Her D aughter Before M arriage ................................ 29

S ix t h A d v ic e : Guard Your Tongue .................................................................... 3 3

S eventh A d v ic e : Avoid Im itating the D isbelieving W o m e n ................. 3 4

T h e F i n a l A d v ic e : Seek Knowledge Inside the Home ............................38

A p p e n d ix : Do Not M arry Six Types o f W o m e n ........................................... 48

A p p e n d ix : Protecting the W o m e n ....................................................................... 5 0

 Introduction

All praises belong to Allah alone, and m ay peace and blessings be

upon the one after whom there is no other prophet, and m ay peace
be upon his fam ily and his Com panions collectively.

As to what follows: 1 direct these concise words to each and every

M uslim wom an in every place, using the internet,1 especially since
this (the internet) has become one of the fastest and most benefi­
cial ways to dissem inate the d a ’w ah derived from the Book and the
Sunnah upon the m ethodology of the pious predecessors, m ay Allah
have mercy upon them.

I made this into concise points and sections. And the best speech
is the speech of Allah and the best guidance is the guidance of
M uham m ad Ife. As for the references from me— I shall suffice in
some places by listing some verses that clarify the intent. I purpose­
fully used easy phrases and straightforward words in m y advice while
avoiding complex language (as much as possible) so that m y advice
can touch the hearts. And perhaps Allah w ill benefit the w riter and all

1 T ranslator’s N ote: This book was ori gi nal l y placed on the i nternet.

7
 A M E SSA G E E X C L U SIV E L Y TO THE M U S L IM W O M A N

those who read it. I w ill be exceedingly frank.

 — FIR S T A D V I C E —

Lower T i ouQaze

I say (and all success comes from Allah):

I advise every M uslim wom an— whether she is m arried or single,

young or old, elderly or adolescent— to have taqwa o f Allah2 w ithin
herself. Allah the Exalted said to His Prophet Ife:

4 u ji J \ ‘J i \ 4 |! c >

O Prophet (Muhammad)! Have taqwa o f Allah.

[Surah al-A hzab 33:1]

If He com manded His Prophet to have taqwa, then it is more

befitting for those less than him to take this divine com m and and
advice. Thus, beware of looking at non-related men— in the streets,

: Translator’s Note: Shaykh Fawzan (m ay Allah preserve him ) said, “The S alaf explained
the m eaning o f 'taqw a o f Allah’ as: A com prehensive phrase that means to obey Allah
seeking His reward and avoid disobeying Allah fearing His punishm ent. Taqwa is a com ­
prehensive phrase that comprises good actions, including statem ents, actions, beliefs, and
intentions. Thus, it contains all good actions o f the slave, apparent and hidden." (Taken
from the sermon “The M eaning o f Taqwa o f Allah and Its Fruits.”)

9
 A M E S S A G E EX C L U SIV E LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

the marketplace, the television screen, magazines, or the internet.

Looking at non-related men is a path that leads to what is prohib­
ited. Consequently, Allah the Exalted com manded lowering the gaze.
Allah the Exalted said:

lA W j J Jij

cr ji) y 4 cf.y*. Q*

3' o f $ y $ j' y y y j ' o f$ j% $ 3' 3'

3' i 3' 3' 3'

ju - 2 ' ^ c y ii j J > j liC u u

^ i J j i o i;> \ j% k p jih j

J \ y . y ' i o j~ ij cyt o t* * 4 ^ p Q o ^ h ' h , cs-y ^ -

O^xLij 4jl A_U\

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and

protect their private parts, and not to show o ff their
adornment except what is apparent and to draw their
veils all over their bodies and not to reveal their adorn­
ment except to their husbands, their fathers, their
husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons,
their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s
sons, or their (Muslim) women, or the (female) slaves
whom their right hands possess, or old male servants
who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense
o f the shame o f sex. And let them not stamp their feet
so as to reveal what they hide o f their adornment.
And all o f you beg Allah to forgive you, O believers,
that you may be successful.'
[Surah an -N iir 24:31]

' T ranslator’s Note: Based on the Mu h s i n Khan translation.

10
 First Advice: Lower Your Gaze

The woman should not speak w ith a soft voice in front o f non-related
men, whether she is speaking to them directly, such as buying and
selling in the marketplace, or she is speaking to her husband’s broth­
ers or one o f his relatives or one o f her m arriageable relatives. This
practice has become com monplace in some societies. And this applies
even if she is speaking to men from behind a barrier, on the phone,
through Paltalk, or through Messenger. And this applies even if she is
speaking w ith students o f knowledge, shuyukh, or scholars. Allah the
Exalted said:

j Laj\ j \z i l J si £ sS^i b >

{
O wives o f the Prophet! You are not like any other
women. I f you have taqwa (of Allah), then be not soft
in speech, for fear that he in whose heart is a disease
should be moved w ith desire, but speak in an honor­
able manner.
[Surah al-A hzab 33:32]

This is regarding the chaste, pure M others of the Believers in the

wholesome, uncorrupted society chosen by Allah the Exalted, who
were the Companions o f the Prophet % . Therefore, the women of
our era today are in greater need o f this divine advice and guidance.

11
 — SECOND A D VICE —

JLcforn theProper Attire

It is upon the M uslim woman to remain in the home— she should

not leave except due to dire necessity, and upon leaving the home she
must not be indecently covered. And if she can find someone who
can take care o f her needs at the market, then all praises belong to
Allah. She must be warned from going to the parks and places where
she w ill mix with men, whether the men are young or old. Allah the
Exalted said:

And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves

like that o f the early Days o f Ignorance, and estab­
lish the prayer, and give charity and obey Allah and
His Messenger. Allah only desires to remove im purity
o f sin from you, O members o f the fam ily (of the

12
 Second A dvice: A dorn the Proper A ttire

Prophet), and to purify you with a complete purifi­

cation.
[Surah al-A hzdb 33:33]

It is upon every M uslim wom an who really loves Allah and His
Messenger— not those who m erely claim such— to adhere to the
legislated hijab. This includes covering her face and wearing loose-fit­
ting, long garments that are not tight, short, or see-through. This is
the proper attire if she wants to leave the home to take care o f her
needs. Allah the Exalted said:

O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and

the women o f the believers to draw their cloaks all
over their bodies. That will be better, that they will be
known and not annoyed. And Allah is Ever Forgiving,
Most Merciful.
[Surah al-A hzdb 33:59]

‘Um ar 0 . said, “If the woman has a need, she is not prevented from
leaving the home in her tattered garm ent or in the tattered garm ent
o f her slave girl, clandestinely such that no one recognizes her, until
she returns to her home.”4

All of this— i.e., staying in the home and adhering to proper hijab —
results from the fruits o f legislative knowledge extracted from the
Book and the Sunnah. Allah the Exalted said:

{ i L y o is ' a n oi

And remember what is recited in your houses o f the

4 Tafiir al-Q urtubi: Surah al-Ahzab 33:59

13
 A M E S S A G E E X CLU SIVE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

verses o f Allah and wisdom. Verily, Allah is Ever Most

Courteous, W ell Acquainted w ith all things.
[Surah al-A hzab 33:34]

Although this was addressed to the M others o f the Believers, the

consideration is given to the general w ording rather than the specific
reason the verse was revealed. Thus, those who are less than the
Mothers of the Believers are in greater need of knowledge and learn­
ing what w ill strengthen their religion. Rem aining in the home is also
directed towards those women who use seeking knowledge in the
m asjid or circles o f knowledge, or gathering in one of their homes so
a shaykh can give them a lesson by way o f the phone or Palktalk, as
an excuse to leave the home. I say this because today we live in a time
o f fitnah, and what fitn a h is greater than what a woman w ill experi­
ence in the streets? And today, during the era of com m unications like
the internet, the wom an— young or old— can study Islamic knowl­
edge that is obligatory upon her using these websites. She can read or
listen to classes, and all praises belong to Allah.

This contains a tremendous benefit; rather, w ith this, the M uslim

women can remove from themselves ignorance of the affairs of the
religion. Even the elderly who are unable to read can listen to the voice
o f Shaykh al-Albani, Shaykh Bin Baz, Shaykh ‘U thaym ln, Shaykh
M uqbil, Shaykh M uham m ad Aman al-Jam i, Shaykh Luhaydan,
Shaykh Fawzan, the m ufti Shaykh A1 ash-Shaykh, Shaykh G hudayan,
Shaykh R ab f, and other than them. And to Allah belongs the praise
and the favors. Thus, there is no need to run behind these circles and
converse with the students of knowledge, the callers, and the scholars
except due to necessity. In this case, you ask the question according
to what is needed; you do not engage in a back and forth discussion,
and you do not speak in great length w ith them.

And know, O M uslim wom an, the greatest obligation upon you
to know and study is the oneness o f Allah the Exalted and direct­
ing all aspects of worship to H im alone. You must also study that
which opposes it, which is polytheism and innovation. This is so your
worship will be accepted, and [this way] the M uslim woman will

14
 Second A dvice: Adorn the Proper A ttire

safeguard herself and her nobility. Allah the Exalted said:

O Prophet! W hen believing women come to you

to give you the pledge that they w ill not associate
anything in worship w ith Allah, that they w ill not
steal, that they w ill not commit illegal sexual inter­
course, that they w ill not kill their children, that they
w ill not utter slander, intentionally forging false­
hood, and that they w ill not disobey you in any good,
then accept their pledge, and ask Allah to forgive
them. Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most M erciful.5
[Surah al-M um tahanah 60:12]

Know, O M uslim women: There is a verse that is comprehensive,

thorough, and complete for the one who ponders over it, pays heed
to it, and acts according to it, and it is the statem ent o f Allah the
Exalted:

3 ^ L? i^ i oi

aJlJ o E jlijlj
t 0 0 0 2
t daddJl3

o L d jlv aJlj C-'li-WadLSlj

dn la o'dfilii3 \* J f an ji/iJdij oikidij

4 '3 4 J *3?*-* (4^

s T ran slators Note: Based upon the M u h s i n Khan translation.

15
A M E S S A G E EX CLU SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the

believing men and believing women, the obedient
men and obedient women, the truthful men and
truthful women, the patient men and patient women,
the humble men and humble women, the charitable
men and charitable women, the fasting men and
fasting women, the men who guard their private parts
and the women who do so, and the men who remem­
ber Allah often and the women who do so— for them
Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.
[Surah al-A hzab 33:35]

16
 — T H IR D A D V I C E —

See^JKjiowfedge

I advise the M uslim women to give im portance to seeking Islamic

knowledge based upon proofs from the Book and the Sunnah;
that knowledge which is needed to perform the obligatory acts of
worship. I do not intend that she should become deeply proficient
in the subsidiary matters at the expense of the obligations that are
com pulsory upon her to perform from the various acts of worship.
This includes taking care of the husband, the children, and the affairs
o f the home. These are more of an obligation upon her than the
subsidiary matters of jurisprudence from the religion and studying
the matters of differing opinions.

She should begin with the foundational matters by learning taw hid
and its opposite, which is shirk, and that which nullifies Islam. Next,
she should learn the affairs connected to establishing her prayer, and
likewise the matters particular to the women regarding purification.
It is obligatory upon her to learn when it is obligatory for her to pray
and when it is obligatory for her not to pray. Likewise, she must learn
when it is obligatory for her to fast and when she is not allowed to
fast. In addition to this, she should study that which w ill grant her

17
 A M E S S A G E EX CLU SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

insight into cultivating her children and the means to be a good

spouse to her husband.

In summary, the M uslim woman begins learning the affairs according

to what is most obligatory upon her, those affairs that are needed
for her to establish her obligations. She should avoid the matters of
differing opinions as much as she can; rather, she must strive hard to
do so.

I advise the M uslim women to leave off argum entation in the religion
and refutations, which has busied some of the women who claim to
be students of knowledge. They compete with the students of knowl­
edge and the scholars in the affair of refuting those in opposition.
This woman writes against this one and that woman writes against
that one. Thus, they have busied themselves [away] from their obliga­
tions which they w ill be questioned about.

Wahb bin M unabbih 'J.®- said, “Leave off debating and argum en­
tation concerning your affair, for surely you w ill not defeat one of
two men: A man who is more knowledgeable than you, how w ill you
debate and dispute someone more knowledgeable than you? And a
man who is less knowledgeable than you; how w ill you debate and
dispute someone who is less knowledgeable than you who w ill not
listen to you? Thus, desist from that.”

A bdullah al-Busri said, “It is not the sunnah with us to respond

to the people of desires, but the sunnah with us is to not speak to any
of them .”

Al-Abbas bin Ghalib al-Waraq said, “I said to Ahmad bin

Hanbal, ‘O Abu A bdillah, if I am in a gathering and there is no one
in the gathering more knowledgeable in the Sunnah than me, and an
innovator speaks, should I respond to him ?’ He said, ‘Don’t expose
yourself to that. Teach the Sunnah and do not argue.’ So I repeated
the question to him , and he responded, ‘I see you as someone who
wants to argue.’ ”

O M uslim women, leave off “he said, she said” amongst each other
 Third A dvice: Seek Know ledge

and do not judge each other with deviance until it has been affirmed
and you have asked one of the scholars, shuyukh, or some o f the
students o f knowledge known to be upright upon the m ethodol­
ogy of the Salaf—those students who are known for deliberateness
and prudence, not those who are hasty and deluded, even if they are
Salafi. These steps must be taken concerning the one you believe has
deviated so that the unity is not split and the hearts are not divided.

The one am ong you who has placed herself as a caller must fear
Allah the Exalted concerning her d a ’w ah and adorn herself with the
manners o f the one who calls to Allah. She must have patience with
those who oppose her, and likewise with the ignorant. And before
that, she must arm herself with the weapon o f knowledge concern­
ing the matters she wishes to call to. Her d a ’wah must be upon the
methodology o f the pious predecessors; thus, she must not invent her
own methods which she views to be correct and more appropriate
for her time w hile knowing that it contradicts the path of the pious
predecessors. From his deep knowledge and sound understanding of
the Book and the Sunnah, Imam al-Bukhari placed a chapter in his
collection of authentic ahadith entitled “Knowledge Before Statem ent
and Action.” Allah the Exalted said:

Have knowledge that nothing has the right to

worshipped except Allah and seek forgiveness for
your sins.
[Siirah M uham m ad 47:19]

19
 — FOURTH A D V I C E —

fihe (Danger o f (private Casses

(Between *Men Women

We have heard of some women— some o f them single and some of

them otherwise— in various places from time to time having private
classes with some of the students of knowledge— some of them Salafi
and some of them not— by w ay o f the phone or Paltalk. This has
transpired among some o f the women, not in a particular country,
but in various places. It has reached the extent that some women
brag about this; rather, this has developed into some of these women
adm iring these students. In m y view— and I am not generalizing—
this has become the latest trend for some o f them, and this is from
fitnah. Some of them open discussions with the students of knowl­
edge by phone, Messenger, Paltalk, text, or em ail, and this could lead
to matters that oppose the Islamic legislation. All of this is from the
plots of the Shaytan, and the evil consequences of this are closer than
the anticipated benefit.

The fitn a h comes from being amazed by the voice, flowery speech, or
soft mannerisms. This woman or young lady is in her twenties and

20
 Fourth A dvice: The D anger o f Private Classes Between Men <& Women

this shaykh is in his thirties or forties!! So who is the one who feels
that he is safe from fitnahV.

Thus, we say it is not upon the woman to seek knowledge in this

manner that leads to her frequently speaking with a non-related
male. The result of this is that her shyness w ill be removed, and when
the shyness of the woman is removed, her chastity and protection is
removed, as well as her wholesomeness and good reputation.

21
 — FIFTH A D V I C E —

"Know the(Rights o f
Your Jfus6ancf

To every woman who has a spouse or is on the road to m arital life, I

say: It is upon you to know the rights o f your husband and the rights
of your parents, and do not mix the two obligations. Each one has
rights, while the rights of the husband take precedence. The truthful
one who is believed % said:

If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah,

I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By
the One in W hose Hand is the soul o f Muhammad! No woman can
fulfill her duty towards Allah until she fulfills her duty towards her
husband. I f he asks her (for intimacy), even if she is on her camel

22
 Fifth A dvice: Know the Rights o f Your Husband

saddle, she should not refuse.6

And the Prophet % said:

OlS' jJ oJSj j I^ .1P Kas>~ qa As>*JLj oi i\y*}\

j»J wbAvaJlj 4j>-y <cMj ( _ } ^ 3 1 <c«Jj

0 4f i, „ - Y.
. Aj)s>- O i l U 4S~~s>xAt
It is not right for any human being to prostrate to another; i f it were
right for one human being to prostrate to another, I would have
commanded women to prostrate to their husbands because o f the
great rights that they have over them. By the One in W hose Hand is
my soul, if a man were covered from head to foot with weeping sores
oozing pus, and his wife were to come to him and lick his sores (to
clean them), this would not fulfill the rights he has over her.7

Therefore, O M uslim wom an, if you know and are certain of the
rights your husband has over you, then seek to please him with various
means. If you have exhausted one way, em ploy another creative way
to make him happy. This will reflect back to you if he feels ease in
his home after the weariness he experiences outside the home. Be a
righteous woman who pampers her husband and brings ease to the
difficulties he finds in life, a woman who looks at what makes him
happy and implements it w hile easing the hardships according to her
ability.

Look at the M other of the Believers, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid ^ —

she was a blessed, righteous wife and a blessed friend to the Prophet
% even before he became a prophet, and certainly during the days
he would travel to the cave o f H ira . She showed him solicitude and
calmed his fears when he received revelation. The Prophet % returned

(' Collected by Ahmad and others w ith sim ilar wording, and authenticated by al-Albani
(1203).
Collected by Ahmad (12153); Sahih a l-Jd m i’7725.

23
 A M E S S A G E EX CL U SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

home on the day revelation was revealed to him with the words of
Allah the Exalted:
i o
sf( jjL >- dJ j j ^

Read! In the Name o f your Lord, W h o has created (all

that exists).
[Surah a l-‘A laq 96:1]

Then the Messenger of Allah % went back with his heart beating
wildly, until he came to Khadljah and said, “Cover me! Cover m e!”
She covered him till his fear went away. Then he said to Khadljah,
“O Khadljah, I fear for myself,” and he told her w hat had happened.
Khadljah said, “No, be o f good cheer, for by Allah, Allah w ill never
disgrace you. You uphold the ties of kinship, speak truthfully, help
the poor and destitute, serve your guests generously, and assist those
who are stricken by calam ity.”8

Look at these beautiful words from this pure, pious wom an; they
had a major effect in calm ing the fear from the heart of the best of
m ankind iig. Therefore, let Khadljah, the M other of the Believers, be
an example for you.

8 Collected by al-Bukhari (4572) and M uslim (231).

24
 The Story o f
Zayna6 (Bint Jarir

Be, O female slave of Allah, like this wom an: Zaynab bint Jarir, a
woman from Bani Hanzalah of Bani Tamim. Ash-Sha’bi said,'1
“Shurayh said to me, ‘O Sha’bi, I advise you to m arry the women
of Bani Tam im, for surely I have found them to be intelligent.”’
Ash-Sha’bi said, “And what is it about their intelligence?”

Shurayh said:

“I was leaving a janazah prayer around noon, and while passing by

some houses there was an old woman standing at the door of a home,
and beside her there was a young lady from the best young ladies I
have ever seen. She sought to quench m y thirst. She said, ‘W hat drink
is most beloved to you?’ I said, ‘W hatever is easy.’ The old woman
said, ‘Give him m ilk; he is a traveler.’ I said to the old wom an, ‘W ho
is this young lady?’ She said, ‘This is Zaynab bint Jarir.’ I said, ‘Is she

11 Collected in the book 7h e H istory o f D amascus by Ibn Asakir, narrated from al-H aytham
bin Adi.

25
 A M ES S A G E EX CL U SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

free or occupied (i.e., single or m arried)?’ The old woman said, ‘No,
she is free.’ I said, ‘1 would like to m arry her.’ She said, ‘If you are
com patible.’

“So I went home to take a nap, but I was not able to sleep. After I
prayed Zuhr prayer, I took the hand o f some o f m y brothers from
the noble reciters— ‘A lqam ah, al-Aswad, al-M usayyib, and M usa
bin ‘Urfutah— intending to meet her uncle. W hen I met her uncle,
he said, ‘O Abu Um ayyah, what is your need?’ I said, ‘Zaynab, the
daughter of your brother.’ So he married me to her.

“I had not reached m y home before I regretted m y decision. I said to

myself, ‘I have married from the coarsest and roughest o f Arabs.’ And
I reflected upon the women of Bani Tamim and their rough hearts.
Consequently, I considered divorcing her, but I reconsidered, think­
ing I would wait to see if I liked som ething about her, and if not,
then I would divorce her.

“O Sha’bi, if you could have seen the women leading her to my house
until she entered upon me! I said to her, ‘It is from the Sunnah when
a woman enters upon her husband that he should pray two rakaat
and ask Allah for the good of her and seek refuge from the evil in
her.’ Thus, I prayed, and when I completed m y prayer, I noticed her
praying behind me. Then her slave girls brought m y garments for me
to wear, and they had dyed them with saffron. W hen the slave girls
left the home, I sat next to her and extended m y hand in her direc­
tion.

“She said to me, ‘W ait a moment, Abu Um ayyah. All praises belong
to Allah, I praise Him and seek His help, m ay peace and salutations
be upon M uham m ad and his family. Surely, I am a woman who is
unknown to you and I do not know your etiquette, so clarify to me
what you like so I can do it for you, and tell me what you hate so
I can stay away from it. There are women from your people whom
you can m arry and likewise men from m y people whom I can marry,
but Allah has decreed for us to marry. Thus, do what Allah has
commanded you— keep the woman in kindness or let her go with

26
 The Story o f Zaynab Bint Jarir

goodness. I say this statement o f m ine, and I seek Allah’s forgiveness

for me and for yo u.’

“By Allah, O Sha’bi, her words compelled me to speak about this

matter. I said, ‘A ll praises belong to Allah, I praise Him and seek His
help, may peace and salutations be upon M uham m ad and his family;
as to what follows: As for the words you said, if you adhere to them,
it will be in your favor, but if you abandon them, they w ill be an
argument against you. I like such and such while I dislike such and
such. We are together, so let us not separate. As for the good you
see from me, then spread it, and what you see from me of bad, then
conceal it.’

“She said, ‘Tell me about the in-laws, do you like for them to visit
you?’ I said, ‘I don’t like to bore m y in-law s.’

“She said, ‘W hich of your neighbors do you like to enter your home,
then I will perm it them, and who are those you dislike?’ I said, ‘The
people of so-and-so are righteous people w hile the people o f so-and-so
are evil.’

“O Sha’bi, I had the most blessed night. And she remained with me
for a year, and I only saw from her that which I love. W hen the next
year came, I arrived from m y duties as a judge and found an old
woman in the home giving orders. I said, ‘W ho is this?’ She (his wife)
said, ‘This is your m other-in-law.’ Thus, m y worries left me.

“W hen I sat, the old woman turned to me and said, ‘As-saldmu

‘a layka Abu U m ayyah.’ I said, ‘ Wa ‘a laykis-salam, who are you?’

“She said, ‘I am so-and-so, your m other-in-law.’ I said, ‘M ay Allah

bring you close to H im .’

“She said, ‘How do you like your wife?’ I said, ‘She is the best w ife.’

“She said, ‘A bu Um ayyah, the woman is at her worst during two

occasions: when she gives birth to a son and when she is pampered
by her husband. And if she gives you any suspicion, discipline her. By

27
 A M ESSA G E EX CL U SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

Allah, a man does not possess anything in his home more evil than a
pampered wom an.’

“I said, ‘By Allah, she has the best manners, and I am tremendously
pleased.’

“She said, ‘Do you like for your in-laws to visit?’ I said, ‘Visit
whenever you please.’

“Thus, she would visit at the beginning of each year and give her
daughter advice. I remained with m y wife for 20 years and I did not
criticize her for anything except for one time, and I was in the wrong.

“The m u'adhdhin (caller to prayer) made the call for the establish­
ment of the prayer after I had prayed the two raka'dt before Fajr,
and I was the imam of the village masjid. All of a sudden, a scorpion
appeared crawling on the floor. I grabbed a container and trapped
the scorpion, and I said, ‘O Zaynab, don’t move until 1 get back.’
W hen I returned, the scorpion had escaped and stung Zaynab. So
I began sucking the poison out of her finger and reciting upon her
Surah al-Fatihah, Surah al-Falaq, and Surah an-Nas.”

Take the example from this lesson of this righteous woman and her
mother.

28
 A M other’s Advice to Her
(Daughter (Before Marriage

Take this advice, O M uslim wom an, from the story of a mother as
she gives advice to her daughter. This advice is for every intelligent
daughter and every married woman. The Arabs made a proverb based
on this story:

What inform ation do you have, O ‘Isdm?

Abul-Fadl an-Naysaburi collected this story111 in his booked Collection

o f Proverbs. Al-M ufaddul said the first person to say this was al-H arith
bin Amr, the king of Kindah. He heard the news of the daughter
of A w f bin M uhallim ash-Shaybani, regarding her beauty, complete­
ness, and strong intellect. So he sent a woman from Kindah named
‘Isam— who was very intelligent and articulate— to ascertain some

10 Translator’s Note: Ihere are various accounts o f this story; the version m entioned in
this book is the one chosen by the author.

29
 A M ES S A G E EX CLU SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

information about her.

He said, “Go and get information so you can inform me concerning

the daughter of ‘A wf

So she went to the girl’s mother (the wife o f A w f bin M uhallim

ash-Shaybani), Umamah bint al-H arith. She informed her o f the
purpose of her visit, so Umamah sent for her daughter.

Umamah said, “O m y dear daughter, this is your aunt; she came to

observe you for marriage, so do not conceal anything from her. Allow
her to see your face and your physical build, and answer her if she
questions you.”

Thus, she (‘Isam) entered upon her and saw a young lady like she had
never seen before. W hen she left her, she said, “Deception is removed
by uncovering.” She left and went back to al-H arith. W hen he saw
her coming, he said, “W hat information do you have, O ‘Isam?”

She said, “That which is churned becomes clear from the butter.” And
she described the girl in detail to the king. After hearing this, the king
sent a proposal to her father to m arry his daughter, along with her
dowry. After the marriage was agreed upon and she prepared to go to
her husband, her mother gave her some words of advice.

She said:

“O m y dear daughter, if advice was not needed due to a person

possessing virtuous character, then you would not need this advice
due to your virtuous character. But it is a reminder for the heedless
and an aid and benefit for the wise.

“O m y dear daughter, if a woman could do w ithout a husband due to

the affluence o f her parents and their severe desire for her, then you
from all women would be the most suited to live w ithout a husband;
but women were created for men and men were created for women.

“O m y dear daughter, you are leaving the environment into which

you were born, and you are leaving the nest you grew up in and going

30
 A Mother's Advice to Her Daughter Before M arriage

to a den you do not know and a companion you are not fam iliar
with. By marriage, he has become a watcher and master over you, so
be a servant to him and he w ill be a servant to you.

“O m y dear daughter, take from me these 10 qualities; they w ill be

for you a stored treasure and a reminder:

• One: Accompany him with contentm ent and live with him in
a good manner.

• Two: Listen to him and obey him.

• Three and four: Take care of his eyes and take care of his nose,
so do not let him see anything ugly from you and only let him smell
pleasant smells from you. Kohl is the best beautification while water
is the sweetest of the rare perfumes.

• Five and six: Pay attention to his meal times and be quiet
during his sleep times, because the heat of hunger is like a burning
flame and disturbing his sleep w ill anger him.

• Seven and ei ght: Take care of his home and his wealth and
look over him , his servants, and his children. Protecting his wealth
shows good judgm ent, w hile w atching over his servants and children
shows good management.

• Nine and ten: Do not expose his secrets and do not disobey
his command. If you expose his secrets, he w ill never feel safe with
you, and if you disobey his com mand, his heart w ill boil with anger
towards you.

“Beware of showing happiness in front of him when he is sad, and

do not express sorrow in front o f him when he is happy. In the first
scenario, it shows negligence, and the second scenario w ill cause him
sadness.

“Show him the utmost respect and the utmost honor, and agree with
him as much as possible; this w ill increase your companionship. And
know— you w ill not attain what you love until you prefer his happi­

31
 A M E S S A G E EX CL U SIVE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

ness over your happiness and his desires over your desires concerning
what you like and dislike. M ay Allah grant you what is best.”

So she went to her husband and she had a tremendous position with
him. She gave birth to seven kings who ruled Yemen after him.

Therefore, I do not believe that the woman who focuses on seeking

knowledge exactly as the men do w ill establish her m arital rights,
the rights of her children, and the rights of the home in a complete
manner. The woman who says she w ill establish all o f these rights
while seeking knowledge is mistaken, and the reality w ill prove this.
As for the woman who stays awake all night on Paltalk following
the lessons here and there, w ill she fulfill her husband’s rights in the
required manner?

32
 — SIXTH A D V I C E —

Cjuard Your Tongue

It is upon the M uslim woman who desires what is with Allah to guard
her tongue from backbiting, tale carrying, “he said, she said,” asking
too m any questions, and ingratitude. Most of the gatherings of the
women are spent engaging in these matters. It is like salt on food—
the gathering is not sweet w ithout it.

H akim bin Hizam said that the Prophet said:

c^ 4 ^ J*
a_L5i b j

“Verily, some o f you women w ill enter Paradise.” And he joined his
fingers. “And some o f you women w ill be firewood in the Hellfire.”
And he separated his fingers. A woman named al-M aridiyyah said,
“W h y is that, O Messenger o f Allah?” He responded, “Because they
are ungratefid, curse a lot, and procrastinate doing good.”"

Col l ect ed by Ibn Hi b ba n in his collection o f a ut henti c narrations ( 7639) .

33
 — SEVENTH A D V I C E —

A void Imitating
the <Dis6eCievingWomen

It is upon every M uslim woman to avoid im itating the evil disbe­

lieving women in clothing and appearance. They must refrain from
wearing tight, open, see-through, and short clothing, pants, and high
heels. They must avoid following all the fashion trends in clothing
and hairstyles.

The Prophet % said:

o f0 s oC 0^
• ji3 o -4

W hoever imitates a people is from them .12

And when describing some types of women, the Prophet % said:

12 Sunan Abi D au ntd 4031; Al-Albani declared it hasan sahih.

34
 Seventh A dvice: A void Im itating the D isbelieving Women

. U 5 j \&

There are two types o f the people o f the Hellfire that I have not seen
yet: men with whips like the tails o f cattle, with which they strike the
people, and women who are clothed yet naked, inclining (towards
evil) and inclining others, w ith something on their heads that looks
like the humps o f camels, leaning to one side. They w ill not enter
Paradise or even smell its fragrance, even though its fragrance can be
detected from such-and-such a distance.13

This hadith is from the miracles of prophecy, as this has occurred just
as the Prophet 0 said it would.

As for the m eaning of “clothed,” this has a num ber o f meanings:

• One m eaning is that they are “clothed” with the blessings of

Allah while “naked” in regard to showing gratitude.

• They are “clothed” with garments while “naked” regarding

good deeds, any concern for their Hereafter, and interest in doing
good deeds.

• They uncover some o f their body, showing their beauty; thus,

they are clothed yet naked.

• They wear thin clothing that describes what is beneath it.

Thus, they are clothed but naked in reality.

“Inclining and inclining others”: It has been said that this means
deviating away from the obedience o f Allah the Exalted and not
being diligent in guarding their chastity.

• “Inclining others” means they teach others actions like theirs.

• Another m eaning is that “inclining” means they w alk with an

enticing gait and “inclining others” refers to the w ay they move their

13 Sahih M uslim 2128

35
 A M E S S A G E EX CLU SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

shoulders as they walk.

• Another m eaning is that they style their hair in the m anner of

prostitutes and style other women’s hair in the same manner.

• Another m eaning is that they incline towards men and the

men incline towards them, by showing off their beauty.

As for “their heads that look like the humps of camels,” this means
they gather the hair with head covers in such a manner that there
is more hair on one side than on the other, such that it resembles a
cam el’s hump.

It can also mean they look at men and do not lower their gaze or lower
their heads. Ibn al-‘A rabi said, “They have only been called ‘clothed’
because they are wearing garments, and they have been described as
‘naked’ because the clothes are thin and thus show their bodies, and
this is not permissible.”

Al-Q urtubi said, “One m eaning is that they are clothed with garments
but naked and void of the garm ent o f piety which Allah mentioned
in His statement:

And the garment o f piety is better.

[Surah al-A 'rdf 7:26]

“As the poet said:

bb jf-

4jj ip lis £ ^bJ i

L-^Ip 4JJ ^j
When the person does not wear the ga rm en t o f piety, he becom es naked
even i f he is w earing clothes.

36
 Seventh A dvice: A void Im itating the D isbelieving Women

The best ga rm en t fo r the person is the obedience o f His Lord, a n d there is

no g o o d in the person who is disobedient to Allah.

“Usamah bin Zayd said:

: o - li ^A; U.ail dJJ L* jf

t C c
jl caJ*]Ap Lft^* ijL a i L^f^y^

. 1g j l Ufc

The Messenger o f Allah -fe gave me a thick Egyptian garment that

was one o f the gifts given to him by Dihyah al-Kalbi, and I gave it
to my wife to wear. He said, “W h y do I not see you wearing that
Egyptian garment?” I said, “I gave it to my wife to wear.” He said,
“Tell her to wear a gown underneath it, for I am afraid that it may
describe the size o f her bones.”14

“Abu Hurayrah was asked concerning the thin clothes of women, so

he said, ‘Clothed yet naked wearing flimsy, sheer garm ents.’ ”1"’

Some women from Bani Tamim entered upon A 'ishah ^ while

they were wearing thin garments. A 'ishah said, “If you are believing
women, then these are not the garments of believing women; and if
you are not believing women, then enjoy it.”16

A bride entered upon A 'ishah ^g, wearing a yellow Coptic headscarf.

A'ishah said, “A woman who wears this does not believe in Surah
an-Nur.”17

14 Collected by Ahmad and al-Bayhaqi.

15 Tafiir al-Q u rtu bi: Surah al-Ahzab 33:59: “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daugh­
ters and the women o f the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies.”
ta p ir al-Q u rtu bi: Surah al-Ahzab
1 Tafiir al-Q u rtu bi 14/244

37
 — THE FINAL A D V I C E —

SeehfiKjiowCedge Inside
the dfome

I know some men and women w ill object to some of what I

mentioned above, and this is the nature of man. There is nothing
infallible and free from error except the Book o f Allah the Exalted,
and His Messenger was infallible in conveying this religion. The
strong position I mentioned concerning the woman leaving the home
to seek knowledge is based upon what we see and hear today in our
com munity, and I am not annoyed by someone opposing me in this.
But being strong in this m atter is better than being careless and lacka­
daisical. I don’t know of any scholar— past or present— who criticized
holding firm to the Sunnah or taking a strong position in order to
block a path to fitnah-, rather, the criticism is in being lackadaisical
in this matter. And the satisfaction of the people is unattainable; it is
enough for us to advise and emphasize the advice. For this reason, I
have made the final advice a discussion for those who disagree with
what I mentioned above.

It is said, “W hy do you prevent the woman from leaving the home to

38
 The Final A dvice: Seek Know ledge Inside the Home

seek knowledge while the Prophet % com manded us to seek knowl­

edge, and he did not single out the m an?”

I say— and with Allah is all success: In all the ahadith in which the
Messenger of Allah % encouraged seeking knowledge— and in some
cases commanded with seeking knowledge— the address was directed
towards the men, w hile there is no doubt that the female student of
knowledge will likewise receive this reward. But the com mand was
addressed towards the men because they are the inheritors o f the
prophets mentioned in the narration:

{.UJLdl

The scholars are the inheritors o f the prophets.18

There is no doubt that he did not intend the women by his state­
ment “the scholars,” and whoever tries to argue this is ignorant of
this matter. And give attention to the gesture in this hadith. Safwan
bin A.ssal said to the Prophet sfe, “I came to seek knowledge.” The
Prophet Ife responded:

. jtJbdl i JUaj \1>-y>

Welcome to seeking knowledge.19

The Prophet ^ welcomed him to seeking knowledge. This contrasts

with the women who came to ask the Prophet % about bathing after
m enstruation. He said:

.frU l 1 T ■/»" Lg-.m\j 0 yA Ijj-U i IfsJi Jst Lg-Mj

. Lgj

Everyone among you should use water (mixed w ith the leaves of)
the lote tree and cleanse herself well, and then pour water on her

18 Sunan Abi D aw u d 3641

19 Collected bv Ahmad and at-Tabarani.

39
 A M E S S A G E EX CLU SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

head and rub it vigorously till it reaches the roots o f the hair. Then
she should pour water on it. Afterwards, she should take a piece o f
cotton smeared with musk and cleanse herself with it.20

So he gave her the ruling w ithout welcom ing her for seeking knowl­
edge, even though the m atter she asked about was a women’s issue
that perhaps m any o f them fell into. Sim ilar to this is the hadith of
Asma bint 'Umays. Jabir bin 'Abdillah said:

Oil aAp aUI 5^ J f ^

i)jl-U j 'ill 'SU-lj _jl A>-l jjy ^Ldl

1 1 iU J-1 1 1 ^ A ilU jl \l Id .

ijlii A~Lp <dJl ^ —0 aL'1 ,J y l j ^ 1 C—l j \ i ^Sy ^;1 jjj

t t it 1 ,

The Messenger o f Allah stayed for nine years during which he did not
perform Hajj. Then it was announced among the people that he was
going for Hajj. No one who was able to come riding or on foot stayed
behind, and the people rushed to go out with him until he came to
Dhul-Hulayfah. Asma' bint ‘Umays gave birth to Muhammad bin
Abl Bakr and she sent word to the Messenger o f Allah (asking what
she should do). He said, “Perform ghusl and wrap a cloth around
your private parts, then begin the talbiyah .”21

Ponder how she did not go to him herself to seek knowledge, and he
did not hold a lesson of sitting for the women. Someone m ay say:
W hat do you say about the hadith o f Sa'Td al-Khudri? He said:

13 1 1 1 0 1 ( J l - j U p aUi ^ iy c jii

UyS OlSsJ tA j ^y> l i j j

0 Jiff Nl \ l l j ^y> di*! ^~iaj 5l^»l ^ 12 0 3 ^

211 Sahih M uslim 332

21 Sunan ivi-N asii'i 2761

40
 The Final A dvice: Seek Know ledge Inside the Home

Some women said to the Prophet •§?, “The men are taking all your
time away from us. So make a day fo r us.” On that, he promised them
one day for religious lessons and commandments. Once, during such
a lesson, the Prophet said, “A woman whose three children die will
be shielded by them from the Hellfire.” On that, a woman asked, “If
only two die?” He replied, “Even tw o.”22

Isn’t this specifying a tim e for the wom en to come and seek knowl­
edge? We say: Yes and no. Yes, he specified a day for them to come
after they asked him , but there are some points concerning this
hadith :

1) It is not affirmed that the Prophet ife held this gathering for
them again, except when he gave them a specific advice during Eid.
And whoever claims that he did this continuously, let them affirm
this.

2) He did not enter them into the affairs o f praise and criticism ,
science of hadith, knowledge o f inheritance, the detailed matters of
jurisprudence, abrogating verses and abrogated verses, or even the
details of tafiir. He did not adhere to a specific issue and continue
teaching it like an ongoing class, not even w ith the matters concern­
ing the women. This is because the Prophet % taught the men, and
they would dissem inate the knowledge that was obligatory for the
women to know, from inside their homes.

Today— and to Allah belongs the praise and the favor— the paths
to study and removing ignorance are numerous. There are tapes and
books, small and large, radio broadcasts, television, and websites
on the internet, and the well-known trusted scholars have websites.
Tikewise, there is Paltalk, with the condition that you enter it only
to [learn from] the known scholars. Therefore, if there are num er­
ous paths to attain knowledge, then w hy leave the home or open
the phone to take lessons? If you desire the Face of Allah and the

" S ahih at-Bukhari 101

41
 A M E S S A G E E X CL U SI VE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

Hereafter, then you w ill be successful in attaining knowledge, and if

you desire other than that, then actions are according to intentions.
And Allah sees the secrets.

*)! ^

Not a secret o f you w ill be hidden.

[Surah al-H aqqah 69:18]

Sin is what causes discomfort in the soul, and it is what you would
hate for the people to see you doing.

3) The Prophet addressed them according to their level; he

came to them with a warning, m entioning what people desire and
fear. This is adm onition, m entioning what people love and fear. The
end of this narration is evidence o f this. He gave glad tidings for the
woman who lost two or three children. This advice was most benefi­
cial for them and their situation.

4) Leaving the home during those days was safe from fitnah, in
contrast to this present era. And no one can argue with me concern­
ing this inshdAllah. There is a well-known principle that states,
“Preventing an evil takes precedence over bringing about good.”

As for our statement that he did not specify tim e for them to seek
knowledge, then we intend that he did not initiate this; rather, it was
only after they requested it. Furthermore, he did not continue upon
this. And whoever says that he did, then the burden of proof is upon
them.

Perhaps someone w ill say, “The women used to go to the m asjid and
attend the two Eid prayers. And the narrations concerning this are
well-known and authentic.”

We say: Yes, and we do not deny these narrations mentioned.

Do not prevent the female servants o f Allah from going to the masajid

42
 The Final A dvice: Seek Know ledge Inside the H om e

o f Allah, but let them go out looking scruffy.23

And the narration:

The unmarried young virgins, the mature girl who stays often
screened, the young unmarried virgins who often stay screened, and
the menstruating women should come out and participate in the
good deeds as well as the religious gathering o f the faithful believ­
ers, hut the menstruating women should keep away from the prayer
area. 24

But we say that leaving the home has conditions and guidelines, such
as not displaying their beauty, not wearing perfume, not speaking
in a soft voice, not stom ping the feet, not wearing clothes that w ill
draw the attention of men and stir their desires, and not wearing high
heels.

If these conditions are missing, then the premise is that the woman
should remain in the home. Allah the Exalted said:

And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves

like that o f the times o f ignorance, and establish
the prayer, and give zakah and obey Allah and His
Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove im purity
from you, O members o f the fam ily (of the Prophet),
and to purify you w ith a thorough purification.
[Surah al-A hzdh 33:33]

Collected by Ahmad (9362) and Abu Dawud (565).

:4 S ahih al-B ukhdri 324

43
 A M E S S A G E E X C LU SIV E LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

W hen ‘A ’ishah ^ saw the change in the women during her tim e, she
said:

u r ^ y & j Gij u j l J i i ^ l s 'j A 3 > j oi

If the Messenger o f Allah % had lived to see from the women what
we have seen, he would have prevented them from the masajid as the
women o f the Children o f Israel were prevented.25

Therefore, if the affair changed during the tim e o f A ’ishah such that
it caused her to make this statement, then how about a tim e when
corruption is widespread and sins m ajor and m inor have erupted?
The women during the tim e of A 'ishah started wearing decorated
garments and jewelry, so ‘Um ar OHa prevented them from going to
the masjid, and he was not blamed for altering the ruling due to the
changing times.

Someone m ay say, “Some women have become prom inent in knowl­

edge and have become scholars o f hadith. So w hy do you prevent the
woman who performs the duties o f her husband and the home?”

ALldhu Akbar, subhdnAllah, and all praises belong to Allah. Did m y

statement disapprove o f the woman studying? Have I disapproved
o f one woman with Islamic knowledge? I say, we m ight find some
female scholars in certain sciences, but they are few in number. In
every era, they are few, and history is a witness to this.

Before closing, I have one clear question for some of the women.
W hen the woman— whether m arried, single, divorced, or virgin—
attends lessons by w ay o f phone or Paltalk night and day, is her
guardian— her father, brother, or husband— aware o f this? If the
answer is yes, her guardian is aware that she speaks with this shaykh —
whether young or old— with long discussions, then is her guardian
pleased with this?

^ Collected by al-Bukhari (831) and M uslim (445).

44
 The Final A dvice: Seek K now ledge Inside the Home

W hat’s the difference between the wom an who speaks freely w ith a
shaykh, student o f knowledge, or a da'i (caller) like he is from her
unm arriageable kin and the wom an who speaks with the vendor in
the marketplace? O r are we free from the fitn a h that the Prophet
warned against in his statement:

I have not left behind me any trial more difficult upon the men than
the women.26

The Prophet said this to the best generation.

The best people are my generation.27

This does not mean that the Prophet % was accusing his Com panions
of evil; thus, no scholar or da'i should think we are accusing them of
evil, nor are we accusing the wom en o f evil. But the phone conversa­
tion, Paltalk, and Messenger are forms o f seclusion. And the Prophet
% said:

.0i ^1 1^ 1j 0 li Sij* \j j ^ ^1
There is no man who is secluded w ith a woman except that the third
party is the Shaytan.28

In closing, I say: For the wom an who wishes to seek knowledge by

w ay o f the phone or Paltalk, and she has the ability to do so while
fulfilling all o f her household responsibilities, then she must do so
with the following conditions:

1) She must be diligent in finding a teacher who is an old man,

because the elderly are safer from fitnah.

:(’ S ahih al-B ukhdri 5096

: S ahih M uslim 2533
:s J d m i ’ a t- T irm idhi 1171

45
 A M E S S A G E E X CLU SIVE LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

2) The phone should be in a general place in the home such

that the people of the home can see and hear what transpires. And
it cannot be in a secluded room with the door locked. This is not
from the standpoint of suspicion or lack of trust; rather, this is from
preventing a potential harm , closing the door of doubt, and blocking
the entrance o f the Shaytan.

3) The lesson should be in the presence of her father if she is

not married, or in the presence o f her husband or one of her unmar-
riageable kin. This is based on the statem ent o f the Prophet

No man should be alone w ith a woman except her unmarriageable

kin.29

There is no doubt that speaking on the phone, Paltalk, or messen­

ger is considered speaking in seclusion. I am not saying speaking in
person; rather, speaking on the phone could lead to matters worse
than that. As the saying goes, “Fire is started from small sparks.”

4) The lessons on Paltalk by w ay of the com puter must be in

a general area also, like the living room, for example, so everyone in
the house can see it. She should not be in a locked room by herself,
because locked doors cause doubt. As A ll bin Abl Talib i§g said,
“W hoever enters the door o f suspicion is blameworthy.”

5) If the teacher is a young man, it is best that his wife is present

if the class is on the phone, Paltalk, or in a private gathering. This is
further from suspicion, and it closes the door of the Shaytan. And
Allah knows best.

I ask Allah the Exalted, the A ll-M ighty, to make m y actions righteous
and sincerely for His Face and for none other than H im . I ask H im to
accept me among the righteous and to bring about benefit from what
I have written. Amin.

Sahih M uslim 1341

46
 The Final A dvice: Seek Know ledge Inside the Home

M ay the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet

M uham m ad and upon his fam ily and Com panions collectively.

47
 — A P P E N D IX —

(Do Not Marry Siy ‘Types

o f W'omen1

Some o f the wise men said2:

Do not m arry six types o f women. Don’t m arry al-annanah, or

al-m anndnah, or al-hannanah, or al-haddaqah, or al-barraqah, or
ash-shaddaqah.

• Al-annanah\ She is the woman who constantly moans and

complains, and she bandages her head every hour. There is no good
in m arrying the woman who pretends to be sick.

• A l-manndnah : She is the woman who reminds her husband o f the

favors she has done for him , saying, “I did such-and-such for you!”

• Al-hanndnah\ She is the woman who yearns for her ex-husband

1 Translator’s Note: This appendix was taken from the website o f Shavkh Jam al al-H arithi.
: Taken from the book F ood f o r th e H eart in Treating the B eloved by Shaykh M uham m ad
'All bin 'Arivyah (386 AH).

48
 A ppendix: Do Not M arry Six Types o f W omen

or her children from her ex-husband.

• Al-haddaqah\ She is the wom an who casts her sights on every­

thing, then she desires it, and she pressures her husband to buy it.

• Al-barraqah\ This carries two meanings:

1) She is the wom an who spends all day polishing and

decorating her face such that it glitters and looks m anufac­
tured.

2) She is the wom an who becomes angry over dinner, so

she eats alone. And she m inim izes everything she has. This
is the m eaning in the Yemeni language.

• Ash-shaddaqah : She is the wom an who talks too much.

49
 — A P P E N D IX —

(Protecting t

O M uslim women, ponder this hadith and gather a deep understand­

ing of the benefits extracted from it. It has been narrated from Urwah
from Umm Salamah §^t!, the wife o f the Prophet She narrated
that when the Prophet % was in M akkah and wanted to leave, but
Umm Salamah had not yet performed ta w a f around the Ka’bah and
she [also] wanted to leave, he said to her:

W hen the m orning prayer is established, perform ta w a f on your

camel (behind the people) while the people are praying.2

0 M uslim women, ponder how he told her to perform tawaf.

• Behind the men.

• W hile they were praying and not able to see or look at her.

1 Translator’s Note: This appendix was taken front the website o f Shaykh Jantal al-H arithi.
J Snhih al-B ukhari 1626

50
 A ppendix: Protecting the Women

• D uring this tim e, she was around 40 years old

• It was the tim e for Fajr prayer, and most o f the tim e the
Prophet -Ute would pray Fajr prayer w hile it was still dark, as it has
been reported in authentic narrations.

• Ponder the fact that his wife was not a young wom an She
was born around 17 years before the Messenger became a prophet
% . She m arried the Prophet % during the month of Shawwal four
years after the m igration, after observing the m ourning period o f her
husband, Abu Salam ah. And the final pilgrim age took place during
the tenth year after m igration.

All o f this was to protect the wom an, and safeguard her from crowd­
ing with men. W hat would the Prophet % say if he saw our women
today? Not just inside the m asjid but in other places as well, they are
a tem ptation for the men, especially the young men.

W hat if the Prophet % saw the w orshiping women racing to the

doors of the m asjid for Tarawlh prayers, entering and exiting? W hile
he said to Umm Fjum ayd, the wife o f Abu Flum ayd as-Sa‘ldi:

y jJ J dd~J y dJjl C—aJlP A

i

ii ijb y y d-by->- y d-b*>L/?j i d - b y d-b*>L^

t d -b y y d-b*>L<3 y dJJ -d jb y d-b*>L^>j

c
yj <Zjy\s : J l i y d-b*>L^ y d-U d-D y y
. f i
jy - <ui c u ilx i - u it lj y g .y s , y si\ y IgJ

j p “dJl c —jiJ
“I know that you love to pray with me, but praying in your house is
better for you than praying in your courtyard, and praying in your
courtyard is better for you than praying in the masjid o f your people,
and praying in the masjid o f your people is better for you than
praying in my m a s j i d So she ordered that a prayer place be built
for her in the furthest and darkest part o f her house, and she always

51
 A M E S S A G E E X C LU SIV E LY TO THE M U S L I M W O M A N

prayed there until she met Allah (i.e., until she died).3

Look and ponder how the Prophet %, directed her to the darkest place
in the house to pray in. And ponder how quickly she responded and
obeyed, in obedience to Allah and His Messenger. She did not delay
or search for an excuse as some o f the wom en do today. M any of
them say, “Praying in the m asjid gives me determ ination and vigor.”
Ponder how the Prophet made this better for the wom an. Prayer
in her home was better than praying in his m asjid w ith the Prophet
it!

O M uslim wom an, picture the crowding and m ixing along with the
arrows of the Shaytan, which is the [men] looking as the women
enter and exit the m asjid!

’ C ollected by Ahmad (26550); classed as sahih by Ibn Khuzaymah (3/95), Ibn H ibban
■
(5/595), and by al-Albani in Sahih at-T arghib w at-T arhib (1/135).

52