The Sahaja Yoga Joke Book

A collection of jokes and humorous sayings

by Her Supreme Holiness
Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi
and by Sahaja Yogis

First printing July 2020

Researches in Sahaja Yoga – No. 9

1
Shri Mataji, Thank You for getting us to laugh
at ourselves and showing us that humour
is one of the greatest of Divine Qualities.
2
 Sahaja Yoga Joke Book

Humour, we can say, is a quality of the Central Channel where we

witness the world in a detached way.
Her Supreme Holiness Shri Mataji was not only wonderfully
humorous in Her observations of human nature, but also enjoyed
a good joke. This small book is a collection of some of Her
humorous sayings and jokes, as well as witticisms and stories
from other Sahaja Yogis.

“Shri Mataji’s quotes are all in Maiandra font with double

quotation marks and referenced in the text.”




New additions to the 2020 edition include more stories by Shri

Mataji, and some Sahaj puzzles and quizzes.

There is also a great treasure trove of Sahaj humour collected

over many years, on the website sahajcartoons.blogspot.com.
One delightful example is a piece where some Yogis are
complaining that they went to Guru Puja hoping to develop their
detachment, but things were so well organised, the
arrangements were so comfortable and the food so tasty and
plentiful, that there was nothing to get detached about!

We would welcome any additions to the SYJoke Book;

please email contributions to: email@symb-ol.org

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 Chapters

Ego . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
There’s only one thing worse... . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Ashrams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Forgiving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Rules in Sahaja Yoga . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Mottoes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Heaven and Hell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Religion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
Misprints . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Madness! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Innocence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Left and Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Solutions to puzzles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Appendix 1 – Deities Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Appendix 2 – Yuva Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

4
 ####
The Sahaj greeting; ‘Hello, you’re very well, how am I?’

####

Someone once asked Shri Mataji at a public program in London; ‘Isn’t

Sahaja Yoga brainwashing people?’
Shri Mataji looked thoughtful for a few moments….
“Brainwashing? Yes, it’s a very good idea. I think most people’s
brains definitely need washing.”

oOo
Shri Mataji would field such aggressive or pretentious questions with
innocence and humour. At a similar follow-up program at the Holland
Park School in London someone asked Her:
‘Shri Mataji, what is love?’
To which She replied: “Haven’t you ever had a dog?”

####

Q. How can you recognize emails from Sahaja Yogis?

A. They don’t have any attachments.

####

A Sahaja Yogi in India was driving along and saw a hitch-hiker, but did
not stop. As he drove on he thought ‘Why worry, we are all the Spirit?
What bad can happen?’

5
So he stopped, reversed back and picked up the hitch-hiker. As they
were driving along the hitch-hiker asked the Sahaja Yogi why he had
driven past and then changed his mind.
The Yogi replied ‘I am a Sahaja Yogi, and we are all Spirits, so what
harm can come to us?’
The man was so frightened that he jumped out of the car at the next
traffic lights and ran away.

####
CSK - Common Sahaj Knowledge… things everyone seems to know in
Sahaja Yoga but which Shri Mataji may not have ever actually said.
This comes from an occasion when one of the early SY’s was driving
Shri Mataji down Oxford Street in London, and commented to Her,
‘Ah! Shri Mataji, here we are on Oxford Street, where Shri Adi Guru
Dattatreya used to sit meditating on the banks of the river Thames
(Tamas)’.
‘Really?’ said Shri Mataji,’ I didn’t know that.’
‘Oh, yes, Shri Mataji, it’s Common Sahaj Knowledge!’

####

Country boy: I find people from London tend to analyse everything.

Londoner: Really? I wonder why that is?

####

‘Attachments would be really easy to get rid of if we weren’t so

attached to them’

####

6
 Q. What’s the difference between a new Sahaja Yogi and an old one?
A. The new Sahaja Yogi knows much more.
‘I am not young enough to know everything’. Oscar Wilde

####

A Sahaja Yogi is walking through the forest when he comes face to

face with a tiger. Frightened he closes his eyes and starts saying the
mantra to Shri Durga for protection.
To his surprise he hears another voice saying a mantra and, opening
his eyes, he sees the tiger is also sitting in meditation.
‘Ah! So you’re also a Sahaja Yogi?’ he asks.
’Yes, yes’ says the tiger.
‘Really! and what mantra were you saying?’ asks the man.
‘Shri Anna-purna’, replies the tiger.

“Say your car fails. So it fails, get down, enjoy yourself nicely till
somebody comes along, takes you. Or, if supposing you don't
get some lift, all right, stay there overnight. What is it? No tiger is
going to eat you. And if the tiger has to eat you, it will eat.
Where is the problem? Still I can't see. I can't see the problem. If
tiger has to eat, that's already destined that the tiger has to eat.
In any case, nobody dies; you'll be born again. If you look at it
from that angle then you'll be surprised, most of the problems do
not exist.” 04-10-87, Shri Rama Puja, Switzerland

####

7
8
 Ego
The Ego is, of course, the greatest source of humour, and an ability to
laugh at our own stupidity is invaluable.

####

“A man was going up the stairs, and another one was coming
downstairs. The one going up was a wise man and the one
coming down was not a wise man.
So he tried to be aggressive, and he told him that ‘I will not
move for you, because I don't move for fools.’ So the other one
moved on one side and he said, ‘That’s alright, I do.’
Now, I will give an example how in nature you can find this
very easily. See the root has a little root cap - it's a very, very
small, minute thing; you have to see through the microscope.
Now this root cap is a wise thing. It goes in the soil, it sees there
are some stones, so it goes around the stones. Then it finds there
are boulders. It goes around the boulders. ‘You are a boulder?
All right, doesn't matter, I am not going to fight with you.’
And then he finds that he has tied up around these boulders to
support the whole tree. This is the wisdom of a small little cell.”
12-10-83. Boston
Moral: Always let the person with the bigger Ego win an argument.

And again: ‘Two persons were going, one going up the staircase
and another coming down.

9
So the one who is going up in his ego, he says, ‘You’d better
move; I don't move for fools.’ So the other one says, ‘But I do’,
then he moved.
So this is the sign of a sensible, wise, self-respecting person - he
doesn't go into fights, he doesn't go into unnecessary discussions
and arguments and assertiveness; but when it comes to
protecting the truth, he stands up and he can fight with a lot of
courage for the truth. I think self-respect is the first beginning for
Sahaja Yoga; is to develop self-respect in their inner being as well
as in their manifestation.” 27-05-89, Istanbul

####

‘I feel my Ego’s
in better shape
than most
people’s.’

####

10
 ####

I used to catch a lot on Left Vishuddhi and Ego, but now I’ve really
cleared out my Left Vishuddhi.

####

“Ego makes a person stupid. There’s a nice story written about

this in the Ramayana, by Valmiki.
Nârada, once got into the realm of ego, and he started saying, ‘I
am such a great celibate person. I have never married. Even
Shiva had to marry. I'm such a great *Bhramachari.’ And, when
he was walking on the road, he met two people who were sent
by Shri Vishnu to befool this fellow.
So, these two persons started telling him, ‘You are such a
handsome man; such a great person, greater than Shiva, greater
than any of the Gods.’ So he became a greater fool. Ego, you
see, swells up like this, starts floating in the air; it's like a plastic,
you can't see the reality; you think no end of yourself.

* Sage Nārada, a great devotee of Shri Vishnu, was performing Tapas –

‘penance’ which became so intense that the forest started to catch fire. The
Gods were worried and sent a beautiful and seductive Apsaras –‘heavenly
maiden’ to tempt him and disturb his meditation; but Nārada was
unmoved by her beautiful looks, her singing, dancing and ministrations,
and finally she gave up. So he became very pleased with himself for his
detachment and went about claiming to be greater than Lord Shiva, who
had succumbed to love for Shri Pārvatī...
Then they said, ‘We have come to tell you that there is a
beautiful woman. She's the princess and her Swayamvara –

11
‘choosing a husband’ is going to be performed, for which you are
the most suitable man, because she said she will marry the most
handsome and the most intelligent, and you are the most
intelligent and the most handsome man.’ So he said, ‘Where is
the wedding?’ They said, ‘In Maya Nagari.’ (Maya Nagari
actually means a ‘City of Illusion’.)
(Narada became enamoured of the beautiful princess, and
prayed that he might have a ‘face like Hari (Shri Vishnu)’ to win
her hand; however Hari –‘brown coloured’ also means a
monkey!)
So they took him there, and he saw a big pandal, and every
arrangement made, music was on, and all that. They all sat in
line waiting for the princess, who came out with her garland,
and she went round and she was very shy. And when she faced
Narada she just laughed, she laughed aloud; not only giggled,
but laughed; and then she went ahead.
So he asked them, ‘What's the matter?’ They said, ‘We don't
know. She might come back. Let us wait. She must have been
very happy to see such a handsome man.’ But she never came
back.
So they went out and he wanted to wash his face in the lake.
When he looked into the water, he was amazed he was looking
like a monkey.
So he got very angry with these two persons, and He said, ‘Why
did you befool me like this?’ They said, ‘Sir, we did not befool.
You were sitting there, criticizing everybody, saying he's ugly,
he's useless, he's good for nothing; while you were the one
looking like a monkey. And even when we told you this is Maya

12
Nagari you did not think that Maya Nagari's just an illusion; you
lived an illusion about yourself, and there was no princess. There
was nothing, only your imagination created all those things.’
So this ego cannot give you anything but illusion and stupidity.
Now this has to be understood very clearly, that you have to be
prepared to face yourself.” Paris, 17-08-87

####

Rather dominating Yogi leading meditation:

‘Let’s put our right hand across the forehead and ask: ‘Shri Mataji,
please remove my ego’.’
Others: (with hands across foreheads) ‘Shri Mataji, please remove his
ego’.

####

“Somebody went to see the minister and the private secretary

was there, attending to the people. He was getting very angry
with them, so some villagers said to him, ‘Who are you?’ He
said, ‘Don't you know? I'm P.A.’, ‘Ah, Piye! (That means you are
drunk (in Marathi)) All right, we have nothing to say.’
So, a person with ego behaves like a person who has ego, like a
drunkard, or like a lunatic. Sometimes you have to meet them
with a barge-pole.” 21-03-96, Birthday Puja, Delhi

####

‘I’m not caught up! It’s him that’s making me angry

and upset’.

13
 ####
“There's a very great writer called as Princhan, he wrote about
two Englishmen going on the road of Benares when they were
hit by a lota –‘water-pot’ that they use for their bathrooms. It fell
on their feet - and he jokingly says on the feet where all the
bureaucrats fall; means, all Indian bureaucrats used to fall at the
feet of the English at that time.
Then the English looked at that thing and were very angry;
immediately they took to law, ‘You have to come to the courts,
you have to come to the police and we're going to report this
has fallen there, it has hit us’.
So there was a clever man, he knew the English, the western
mind, he said, ‘Sir, do you know this lota is very valuable.’ They
said, ‘Why?’; ‘Because this one was used by Akbar the Great. So
ancient it is.’ They said, ‘Really?’ ‘Yes it is and, you know, you
just don't quarrel with them and ask them for this lota.’
And he told in Indian language to them that, ‘I've befooled this
people, I've told them that this lota belonged to Akbar and you
have to take this lota and use this lota to just to befool them.’
So then they asked, ‘But all right, we'll forgive you, we'll not take
you to any courts or anything, but you just give us this lota.’
They said, ‘No, we can't.’
They said, ‘Why?’
‘Because it's such an antique piece, you see.’
In India you won't find anybody respecting antique pieces,
especially in Benares; nobody bothers.
So they said, ‘Really?’

14
‘Yes, it belonged to Akbar and, you know, my forefathers
worked with him, so he gave us this lota, we can't give you, we
are sorry.’
‘No, no, no, no, please give us, and we'll not take you to the
police. You charge us, whatever money, you charge us’.
So they paid one thousand rupees; this is equal now to one crore
–‘ten million’, I think. These English paid them and bought that
lota, which had nothing to do with Akbar or anyone.”
France, 08-07-90

####

A. You know, it seems that if people are brought up with too much
discipline, it tends to develop the Ego.
B. But I was brought up with a lot of discipline and it hasn’t done me
any harm.

####

Person leading meditation: ‘Er, did we just say the Nirmala Chitta
mantra twice or three times?’

####

15
 ####
“So, stupid man is very big problem to the whole society though
he never realises. He thinks: ‘I have managed the show, I am the
most successful person.’ But when the history is over, people talk
about him as the greatest stupid person ever born on this Earth.
Like one Mister Idi Amin who is supposed to be, now he is not
there, but he was Prime Minister of Uganda. Now he was a real
idiot. I mean, you could see the way he used to talk and all that,
he was an idiot. And he said that, ‘The people of my country
should be called from my name, because, you see, I am the one
who represents this country.’
So somebody suggested that, ‘It is alright, but how should we
call them? Like from Cyprus people are called as Cypriots. So if
we call your name, it will become Idiots!’
So the people refused to accept this solution, though he was so
dominating.” 09-02-83, India

####

Once on India Tour, Shri Mataji was addressing the western Yogis. She
mentioned that we should not drink too much tea, as in Maharashtra
they make the tea very strong; She also mentioned that the Indians
were very surprised when She told them that the English drink more
tea than water!
The English Yogis looked puzzled; ‘Well, that seems natural, as most
English people don’t drink water at all!’. (cold place!)

####

16
17
 Leaders

####

One day, in Africa, some tribal people were getting onto a small
aeroplane, carrying many belongings. When it was explained to them
that their baggage was too heavy for the plane to take off, they
replied:
‘No problem, we will carry the luggage on our heads’

Told by Shri Mataji to demonstrate the illusion that ‘we are doing
something’.
‘Like some people they are travelling by plane, they were from
villages they did not know what was a plane, they were told to
take less luggage, because it should not be a weight for the plane,
so they got into the plane and put all the luggage on their heads
and they said that we are trying to reduce the weight of the
plane, in the same way we are also doing, actually the All-
pervading Power is doing everything but we think we are
responsible.’ 01-08-89, London

####

The biggest joke in Sahaja Yoga -‘Leader’.

“It's the greatest myth ever going, is this leadership. There's

nothing like leaders in Sahaja Yoga, it's just a joke. And your
Mother is very good at playing serious jokes.” France, 08-07-90

18
“Leadership is a joke, you see, and if you know it's a joke then
only you'll work it out better.” 09-02-92, Ganesha Puja, Perth

Actually being a leader in Sahaja Yoga is a lousy job – you work really
hard and in the end all you get is criticism!
The novelist Somerset Maugham (a writer recommended by Shri
Mataji) was recruited into the British Secret Service after the First
World War. The man who recruited him said:
‘If it goes well you won’t get any praise and if it goes badly you won’t
get any help.’ – hmmm, sounds like Sahaja Yoga.

####

At one time Shri Mataji used to ask a Swiss-Argentinian yogi to get up

on stage before programs or Pujas and do his impersonations of the
various Sahaja Yogis, leaders, etc. (even some of Shri Mataji’s family
members!). One of the memorable skits was an impersonation of the
Bolivian leader of Milan who had a rather gravelly voice:
(At a Sahaja Yoga program) Leader: ‘OK, we have to concentrate on
the quality seekers – like this one here, he is a quality seeker.’
Yogi: ‘How do you know he’s a quality seeker?’
Leader: ‘Because he arrived in a Mercedes Benz’.

####

Before Sahaja Yoga I was my own false guru. (K.F.)

####

19
 ####
Yogi to very busy Australian Sahaja Yoga leader; ‘Hey Chris, how are
you?’
Chris: ‘Gosh, I’m completely exhausted and run off my feet. I need to
find myself a meditation group or something!’

####

After meditating at one of the Ashta-vinayaka temples (Ganesha

Swayambhu) in Maharashtra:
1st Yogi: Wow! The Kundalini was really pushing up hard when we
were meditating.
2nd (famously head-strong) Yogi: ‘Really? I only felt a really bad
headache’.

####

Shri Mataji quotes a story from ‘Three Men in a Boat’, by Jerome K.

Jerome:
‘I read a book of Jerome... he had described that one fellow
went to a doctor and said: ‘Sir, I have all the diseases that are
described in the Materia Medica except for one, that is the
housewife’s knee.’ He said: ‘How is it you don’t have that?’ He
said: ‘Because I am not a housewife.’ So he said: ‘How did you
get all these diseases and how do you know?’ He said: ‘Because I
read Materia Medica and I found all these diseases are with me.’
He said: ‘Alright, I'll give a medicine but just now you don't take
it you have to go out from here, about five miles and there you

20
can take it.’ So he took the medicine in a piece of paper; he went
there and he opened it one after another and he found no
medicine. But the last paper was there, on that it was written:
‘You stupid fool, don't read Materia Medica, nothing is wrong
with you.’ Barcelona, 20-05-89.

Shri Mataji mentioned once that She and Her family used to enjoy
sitting around together reading such humorous writings as the above
and also mentions P.G. Wodehouse. If one of them came across a
particularly funny passage the others would stop reading and listen to
it being read out.

####

How many Sahaja Yogis does it take to change a light bulb?

Ans. Five… one to change the light bulb and the other four to give
bandhans and say the mantra to Shri Hanuman.
(After an incident at Shudy Camps when we were clearing up after an
international Diwali Puja. One Yogi was pushing a ‘Porta-loo’ (toilet
on wheels) that was stuck in the mud while four others stood
watching and giving bandhans. (and it did actually move!)

####

When staying at the Shudy Camps house near Cambridge Shri Mataji
once commented that the cleaning compounds we used in Her
bathroom were too strong and stung Her eyes.
‘Use something milder like....sunlight ...with lemon’, She said.

21
‘Yes, Shri Mataji’, we said, and wondered ‘How does that work? Do we
open the window to let the sunlight in and clean it with lemons?’
Later, still puzzled, one of the Yogis was standing at the kitchen sink
doing the washing up and noticed that the washing up liquid was
called ‘Sunlight – with lemon’! This is what She meant!
Shri Mataji had never visited our kitchen and could only have seen the
bottle of washing-up liquid in Her mind’s eye.
####

22
 There’s only one thing worse*…..
There’s only one thing worse than being in the leader’s bad books,
and that’s being in his (or her) good books.

####

There’s only one thing worse than having a small ropey old television,
and that’s having a large shiny new one. (except to watch Shri
Mataji’s videos on, of course!)
(Assuming that watching TV is a terrible waste of time and a source
of lots of unwanted images and ideas; and that having a better TV is
more tempting)

####

There’s only one thing worse than having a bad marriage,

disrespectful kids and material insecurity, and that’s having a good
marriage, lovely kids and plenty of money. (assuming that those
things will dull the desire to detach and ascend)
“I hope you won’t forget your Mother when you all become
rich” Shri Mataji on leaving the Diwali Puja, Temple of All Faiths,
Hampstead, 06-11-83.

* With respect to Oscar Wilde (a realised soul!) who once remarked,

when informed that everyone was talking about his new play:
’There’s only one thing in life worse that being talked about, and
that’s not being talked about’.
####

23
 Ashrams
Ashrams are another great source of humour. We can’t be on our
best behaviour all the time and eventually the cracks start to open
up!
There are the little niggles like not finding the jam because one
person thinks it should be kept in the fridge but others put it in the
cupboard; or someone who throws out left-overs while others feel
that having last night’s dinner for lunch the next day is the best thing.
Then there is the lack of collective responsibility that comes with
collective living - the empty jam jars put back in the cupboard; cereal
packets that don’t get closed; the squishy mess that remains on the
stairs for days; vacuum cleaners that never get emptied; freezers
getting unplugged, etc., etc.
Of course the joy of collective living outweighs all these small niggles
(once you’ve forgiven!).
####
Mister Nobody
There is a famous piece of humorous writing about four people –
Anybody, Everybody, Somebody and Nobody - which goes:
‘There was an important job which Anybody could have done and
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry because it was Anybody's job, but Nobody
realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
So in the end Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did
what Anybody could have done’

24
(Everybody knows Somebody like this but Nobody wants to admit
that that Somebody is them (although Anybody could) (added by
the editor)
At the Chelsham Road Ashram in London a piece of paper was kept on
the notice board titled ‘Mr. Nobody’ and on it were written mysterious
things which happened, but which, it seemed, nobody had done; the
empty jam jars put back in the cupboard of course; putting the kitchen
knives in the dishwasher so the handles cracked and fell off; turning
the toaster dial up full so the next person burns their toast; putting
washing powder in the fabric conditioner compartments of the
washing machine (which gets added to the final rinse so the clothes
come out soapy); ‘tidying up’ the meditation room by putting the Tulsi
(Sacred Basil) plant, which had been brought back from India, outside
in the garden in the middle of winter where the frost killed it;
balancing an open pot of cream on top of two packets of spinach in
the fridge so that it falls over and spills all over the vegetables; storing
all the altar cloths at the bottom of a box, so no-one could find them,
or putting the carpet Shri Mataji had given the ashram in the
basement where it got damp and started to rot, or…..
Eventually someone took the notice down on the grounds that it
wasn’t really fair to Mr. Nobody – after all he was a busy chap like all
of us - had a lot of things to do, plenty of worries and he couldn’t help
it if he made a few mistakes occasionally!

####

25
You are probably familiar with the joke about a vacuum flask ‘keeping
hot things hot and cold things cold’. (In the Irish version Paddy buys
one and, when asked what he has in his new flask, he replies ‘Two
cups of coffee and a choc-ice’.)
We had a similar situation with Mr Nobody concerning cake/biscuit
tins which ‘keep biscuits dry and cakes moist’. So we would sometimes
find a dried up piece of fruit-cake in with the now-soggy ginger
biscuits.

####
In 1984, Shri Mataji bought a new upright Hoover for the ashram in
London and two months later there was a puff of smoke and it
stopped working. On taking it apart it was found that it was solid dirt
and dust from the front brushes, through all the pipe-work, the dust
bag and right into the motor!! It had not been emptied once since it
was bought.
Actually this isn’t a joke, it’s really sad.

####

Once, after using the frying pan, Mr Nobody put a squirt of washing-
up liquid into it and left it on the stove. A bit later another inmate,
thinking it was oil, started frying two eggs in it before noticing the
funny smell and the odd way the ‘oil’ was bubbling up!

####

One day Mr Nobody, in a fit of most unusual enthusiasm, decided to

empty the vacuum cleaner. However this act of altruism was not well
received when it was discovered that not only was the bag was not

26
replaced but the plastic frame that held the dust bag in place was
missing, making it impossible to install a new bag!
Fortunately, another inmate went and dug through the bin and found
the frame before the dustmen removed it.
####
On the subject of Mr Nobody and vacuum cleaners....
We used to have an open fire in the meditation room and burning
wood in morning meditation was both warming and clearing.
In another fit of unwonted (and perhaps unwanted) enthusiasm Mr
Nobody was vacuuming the meditation room one day and decided to
clear the ashes in the fireplace the easy way – by sucking them up!
Being unfamiliar with open fires he did not know that embers can
continue to smoulder under the ashes for up to twenty-four hours.
After about half an hour the meditation room filled with a distinct
smell of burning plastic and we noticed smoke pouring out of the back
of the hoover sitting in the corner.
However in spite of being well melted and quite deformed inside, the
machine continued to function for many months!

####

Another vacuuming incident occurred at Shri Mataji’s house in

Brompton Square around 1985:-
One way to remove a stain on a carpet is to rub a little water into it
and hoover it up. A young and rather inexperienced yogi working in
the house spilled some paint on the carpet and thought that he would
try the idea using white spirit (paint thinner) instead of water. All
went well until he switched off the hoover for a few seconds and then

27
turned it on again. The spark of the switch ignited the highly
inflammable spirit fumes which now filled the machine and a two-foot
long flame shot out the back of it, burning the unfortunate young
man’s leg.
In a state of shock he was taken into the kitchen to see Shri Mataji,
who got some cream and was rubbing it into his leg, with his foot
resting on her knee.
‘I feel very strange’ he said. Shri Mataji nodded and replied:
‘The Deities are not happy, as I should not be touching your feet’.

####

One Ashram inmate doing the washing up to another who is passing

by:- ‘Do you ever feel that you’re the only person who ever scrubs the
underneath of the tea mugs?’
Second inmate:- ‘No, I can’t say that I do.’
First inmate:- ‘Oh well, perhaps I am the only one who ever does it.’

####

In the early eighties Shri Mataji asked the English to get up at 4

o’clock for meditation (presumably to help fight the Left Side pull. She
also asked the Sahaja Yogis to stay awake one night a week – Her
suggestion was Sunday but when everyone protested that they had to
go to work on Monday She allowed Saturday.
So in the Queen’s Park ashram in the early eighties we got up every
day at 4 o’clock. One ashram member used to prop himself against
the side of the fireplace and his chin would descend to his chest.

28
However he always maintained that he was not sleeping and knew
exactly what was going on.
We often did a small Puja, washing Shri Mataji’s Feet and when it was
his turn someone would give him a nudge and he would spring
forward to wash Shri Mataji’ Feet.
One morning (when we weren’t doing Puja) he was snoring a bit with
his chin on his chest so someone nudged him. He immediately sprang
forward with his hands ready to wash the Photo, only to discover that
we were all sitting quietly in meditation.....
However he was undaunted and still maintained that he was not
asleep and knew exactly what was going on!

####

Q. How many Sahaja Yogis in an ashram does it take to change a light

bulb?
Ans. What?! A Sahaja Yogi in an ashram change a light bulb?!?!?

(My favourite light-bulb joke is –

Q. How many Psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Ans. Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.)

####

Sahaja Yogini in the ashram to two foreign Yogis who have just
arrived from the airport:
‘Sorry, I haven’t got time to make you a cup of tea or anything to eat –
we’re preparing for a Gruha-lakshmi Puja’. (true story!)

29
 ####
A Yogi living in an ashram in London was once asked; ‘How many
Lakshmis are there in the Ashram?’ (‘Lakshmi’ is an Indian way of
saying ‘married women’ or women in general)
As one of the ladies in the Ashram enjoyed singing and playing music
much more than cooking and cleaning (and was once reported to
have asked a visitor if they would like a cup of tea and when they
replied in the affirmative said; ‘Oh good, can you make me one too?’)
he replied:
‘I think you can say we have three Lakshmis and one Saraswati’.
(T.B.)
####

An Indian lady in the UK ashram (wife of the ‘leader’) used to feel

offended if people suggested to say the Gruha-lakshmi Mantra in
meditation and would not join in (presumably as she felt a Left Nabhi
catch reflected on her as the main married woman* of the
household); and on one occasion actually got up and left the room
when someone suggested saying it!
Unfortunately Left Nabhi is one of the strongest catches in UK! (and
definitely not the fault of the Indian ladies)
(*In India a married lady is called a ‘Gruha-lakshmi’ –‘Goddess of the
Household’)
####

Overseas visitors to the Chelsham Road ashram would often give a

box of chocolates as a token of thanks; however most of the
ashramites avoided chocolate in deference to their livers! So we ended
up with a kitchen cupboard full of chocolate.

30
One day a visitor opened the cupboard and gasped: ‘Wow, you guys
eat a lot of chocolate!’
It was gently explained to him that the reason we had a cupboard full
of chocolates was precisely the opposite – because we didn’t eat it at
all!
####

Visitor to the ashram, after morning meditation: ‘Wow! The vibrations

were amazing this morning!”
Inmate: ‘Really?’
Visitor: ‘Didn’t you feel it?’
Inmate: ‘What, you mean the Kundalini pushing up strongly, rocketing
out of the top of your head and drenching your whole being in bliss?’
Visitor: ‘Yes, like that.’
Inmate: ‘Oh, that’s normal round here.’

####

One of the first ashrams was in Finchley in North London. An Indian

man who was a devotee of Shri Mataji had a flat over his shop and
Shri Mataji persuaded him, rather against his better judgement, to
rent it to the Sahaja Yogis.
The day they moved in the Yogis decided to clear the vibrations by
burning camphor and went around the whole flat with a large
camphor burner producing clouds of thick grey smoke. At the same
time someone put a frying pan with oil on the cooker and forgot
about it. After some time the oil caught fire and the four-foot high
flames were seen by a neighbour who called the fire brigade. By the
time the fire brigade arrived the fire was out but billows of black

31
smoke still filled the flat when the door was answered, and, in spite of
assurances that there was no problem, they insisted on coming in to
check that the fire was out and everything was safe.
At this moment the Indian landlord dropped by to see if his new
tenants needed anything; only to find a large red fire-engine outside
with flashing lights, smoke pouring from every doorway and window
and uniformed firemen clomping through the flat in their large boots!
He was eventually mollified and the ashram kept going for a year and
a half before they moved to larger premises.

####

In the early days Sahaja Yogis could be quite extreme in their desire
to get away from their previous lifestyle and influences. In Dollis Hill
Ashram around 1979 the leader recommended people not to answer
the phone as one could be attacked by *bhoots, and not to go to
work as that was a sure-fire way of getting caught up!
They were very keen on liver diet and used to eat cornflakes with
water; so coffee was a definite no-no. One day an august person from
Australia was staying in the ashram and was making himself some
filter coffee. The ashram leader unceremoniously came in and poured
the coffee down the sink!
Not too much was said but later that day they went to visit Shri
Mataji who served them all coffee as a special treat!

####

32
It is said that one should not look inside a Matkar1 as one might
reabsorb some of the negativity (or the bhoots2 might jump out at
you!) ....

Around the kitchen table in the ashram, a visitor asks: ‘I’m in the
middle of doing a Matkar treatment, but I have to go to New York for
business. Is it OK if I take it with me?’
The matter is discussed: ‘But what happens when you get to customs.
The customs man will ask ‘Excuse me, sir, what’s inside the bag, can
you open it please?’ You’ll have to say: ‘No....
DON’T LOOK INSIDE THE BAG!!!’ chimed thee voices in unison.
1
A Matkar is a clay pot containing lemons and chillies for absorbing
negativity. It is traditionally kept for seven nights and then thrown in the
river or buried. In the west people often use plastic bags instead of clay
pots.
2
Bhoot or Bhūta is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘a creature, spirit, existence,
the past’ and is used to mean a possessing spirit.

####

(At an ashram meeting to discuss housework)

1st inmate:- My job is cleaning the shower.
2nd inmate:- But the shower never gets dirty.
1st inmate:- Well, I’ll take that as a compliment then.

####

33
 Forgiving
SY to another who is getting upset at a particularly difficult member of
the ashram (Swiss architect!)-
‘You should forgive him’.
K.F.: ‘Yes, yes, I’ll forgive him, but let me kill him first!’

####

Similar situation to the previous incident…… (in London this time)

C.M. ‘You should surrender it to Shri Mataji. You know, if you forgive,
then it mobilises the Ekadasha Rudra power.’
J.B. ‘Yeah, good idea, I’ll forgive him and then he’ll really get it!’

####

‘Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.’

Oscar Wilde
####

A person with a good Āgñyā Chakra never forgives.

(What is there to forgive?)
“Once Buddha was giving a lecture in a village and suddenly
somebody came in and started abusing him, saying all kinds of
things. Then somebody told him, “What are you doing? He is
Buddha, the one who's enlightened. He's trying to help us to be
good and you came and shouted at Him." So he was repentant.
He went to see Buddha, but Buddha had gone to another village
so he went to another village second day and he went and fell

34
at the feet of Lord Buddha. Lord Buddha said, “What's the
matter? Why are you falling at My Feet?" He said, “Sir, I must
say that I was really, I didn't know you were the Enlightened
One. I just shouted at you, said things. I don't know what
happened to me, so please forgive me." He said, “When did you
say this to Me?" “Yesterday." “Where?" In such place.
He said, “Yesterday's finished now. What is there to forgive?"
Now he came begging on his forgiveness, repenting.
Immediately He said ‘yesterday is over’. That is one of the
greatest qualities Sahaja Yogis should have.”
24-07-94, Guru Puja, Cabella

35
 Rules in Sahaja Yoga
There’s really only one rule in Sahaja Yoga – you have to meditate!
(otherwise you’re not in Sahaja Yoga) (and you have to wear a vest).
However human beings are incorrigible.......

####

No wearing *socks while foot-soaking.

(This was an attempt at humour with a rather fanatical young ashram
inmate (no longer in Sahaja Yoga!) who insisted that we should not
wear socks while meditating at 4 a.m. during a very cold winter on the
grounds that it stopped us clearing out through the feet.

* However there is a story from Russia of a Yogi who came home from a
very hard day and rather desperately got his feet into a bowl of warm
salty water. Feeling some relief after a few minutes, he looked down
at the bowl and was shocked to see the water all cloudy and his feet
had turned black! ‘Oh my God, what kind of negativity is this?’ he
thought before realising he had forgotten to remove his socks.
There are also stories of materials other than salt ending up in the
bowl. A visitor to a Russian ashram was found to be using the big-
crystal sugar in the kitchen thinking it was rock salt (but found that it
still worked fine).
A rather dreamy young Yogi in Hounslow ashram, where the washing
machine was in the bathroom and the footsoak salt and washing
powder were kept in similar white containers, was seen pouring a
bowl of frothy water down the toilet, mumbling ‘God, that’s the third
time this week I’ve put washing powder in my foot-soak!’

36
 ####

Watching TV while foot-soaking is not recommended.

However foot-soaking while you watch TV can be a good idea.

####

It is recommended to meditate for twenty minutes every day, but if

you are too busy to do that then better meditate for one hour.
(Alternatively: ‘if you are rushed off your feet and don’t know how you
can possibly get done all the things you have to do, then it’s time to
take a day off’)

####

At a Havan in London, negativity is being offered to the fire:

Yogi 1. ‘All the negativity of fanaticism in Sahaja Yoga in England’
Yogi 2. (flabbergasted at the idea of the English being fanatical Sahaja
Yogis) ‘All the negativity of lack of fanaticism in Sahaja Yoga in
England’

(Shri Mataji often commented on how half-baked and ‘by-the-way’

the English Sahaja Yogis are. Fanaticism, after all, is in the eye of the
beholder (well, maybe not entirely as genuine fanaticism will catch on
Void) – an English Sahaja Yogi told me that he had been deemed
fanatical by the members of the Canadian ashram he stayed in
because he got up at 6.00 am every day for meditation and foot-
soaked every evening! (that’s the kind of fanaticism we need!)

37
“But some people do get little more fanatic because they are so
attached, doesn’t matter, you’ll come round. But is better to be
fanatic than to be doubting. So those people who do things little
over, should commit to a life that whatever they see,
whatever they understand in Sahaja Yoga, whatever happens,
they will accept it without any anxiety about it.”
31-05-85, San Diego

Vishuddhi Word Search

C A R G S D E V A K I E
O K L A L I T A N Y J T
L A R G H E E S A E H H
L S N I F H N U N S V E
E H V I S H U D D H I R
C A I I R H Y E A O S B
T R T G R U N V A D H U
I A T O O A D A V A N T
V D H H J P T D I R U T
E H A K A L I A H C M E
B A L A R A M A K A A R
P R A D Y U M N A T Y B
A R U K M I N I U V A C

Find 22 words connected with Shri Krishna and the Viśhuddhi

Chakra, written horizontally, vertically or diagonally but not
backwards (ie. written L to R or top to bottom).
To make it easier a list of the hidden words is given on page 38.
Solution on p.93.

38
 Marriage
Sahaj Marriages are for our ascent
– especially with all the cultural differences!

####

Frustrated Sahaja Yogini: ‘Shri Mataji, I want a divorce from my

husband.’
Shri Mataji : ‘Why?’
Sahaja Yogini: ‘He’s always out working and I only see him about half
an hour a day.’
Shri Mataji; ‘But if you divorce him, you won’t see him at all.’

####

“It is a fashion nowadays to show the knees - I can't understand

the logic behind it. What is in the knees? At first, I never
understood it, and now I have understood that they want to
attract men! If men are attracted by your knees, what sort of
men they must be?" 08-10-00, Cabella

####

‘My wife and I share the decision-making. She makes all the small
day-to-day decisions and I make the big important ones. Luckily we
haven’t had to make any big important decisions yet.’ (P.C.)
###

39
 ###
(This is about twenty-five years ago before India became so tech-
savvy)
American Yogi whose Indian wife has been over in Los Angeles for a
few months:
‘You know, it’s funny, when my wife came to LA she couldn’t get the
hang of dishwashers, washing machines, vacuum cleaners and stuff,
but when I showed her how to put a card in an ATM machine and
money came out, she got it in about two minutes.’

####

On a bus from Ganapatipule to Kalwa for the New Year’s Puja a young
Australian Yogi was sitting with his very shy Maharashtrian bride of
two days. He turns to Dr. Mathur (an old Sahaja Yogi who edited the
original Nirmala Yoga magazines) and said woefully:
’Doctor what can I do? She won’t say a word to me’.
‘Don’t worry’, said Dr. Mathur, ‘after one year, you’ll be wishing it was
like this again’.
(Actually this was a pretty astute assessment; it did normally take
about a year before the Indian ladies became really acclimatised,
relaxed and chatty in the West – usually after they had taken a trip
back to India and realised that things weren’t quite as perfect as they
remembered and the West had some benefits)

####

40
‘Women marry men hoping they are going to change;
Men marry women hoping that they are not;
So ultimately, they are both disappointed’. Albert Einstein

####
A Yogini went to see Shri Mataji to ask Her what she could do as she
and her husband were always arguing. Shri Mataji asked the lady to
bring her a bottle of water. Shri Mataji blew into the mouth of the
bottle for some time and then handed it to the lady with the following
advice:-
‘Whenever your husband starts arguing take a sip of this water and
keep it in your mouth for ten minutes’. (P.S.)

####
A. ‘Oh, no, my name got announced for marriage in Cabella.’
B. ‘What’s the problem?’
A. ‘I‘d just got really surrendered to getting married in India!’

####
Wife: You know, I am a bit upset that you didn’t ask me before
going ahead with buying that derelict cottage in Scotland.
Husband: Really? What would you have said?
Wife: Well, actually, I would have said ‘no’.
Husband: But then you would be even more upset when I went
ahead and bought it!

####

41
42
 Mottoes
Procrastinator’s Motto:
Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the day after
tomorrow.
ISPS Procrastinator’s Motto:
Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till next year. (Voice
of experience!)

####
Thinker’s Motto:
Why make things simple when, with a bit of thought, you can make
them really complicated.

####
Free-thinker’s Motto:
The first rule in life: never believe anything anyone ever tells you
(until you’ve checked it). (not really a joke, but very useful, especially
in India!)
####
Gourmand’s Motto:
I’m not fussy, as long as I get what I like.

####
A. Do you find putting ghee up your nose helps your discrimination?
B. I can’t really tell.
####

43
 ####
On an India tour a Swiss Sahaja Yogi was interested to learn about
cricket; a game the Indians are very keen on (there was a test match
between England and India which the Indians were all listening to on
the radio); so he asked an English Yogi. It was explained to him about
bats, balls, stumps, runs and wickets.
‘So how long does a game take?’ he asked.
‘Well, a full game is.. er.. five days’
The Swiss Yogi’s jaw dropped: ‘What?! They spend five whole days
standing around in a field throwing a ball at each other!?!’

(The English have a knack for inventing well-balanced games – take

football, for example, where after an hour and a half’s hard play the
score can often be zero-zero! When America (whose sports have
scores like 52-73) first took to ‘Soccer’, as they call it (‘Football’ in
America being a game where you don’t kick the ball much but run
with it in your hands and throw it to each other!) they asked if they
could make the goals bigger, so there would be more scoring.

####

Hidden words in the VISHUDDHI WORD SEARCH on page 35:-

VISHUDDHI, RADHA, KRISHNA, VIRATA, VISHNUMAYA, YESHODA,
VITTHALA, RUKMINI, VASUDEVA, DEVAKI, BALARAMA,
ANIRUDDHA, PRADYUMNA, LALITA, AKASHA, ETHER, KALIA,
BUTTER, GHEE, GOPI, COLLECTIVE, ANANDA. (22 words)

44
 Heaven and Hell

A man died and went to Heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates he
asked whether, just out of interest, he could see the two places
before making a decision. So Saint Peter took him down to the ‘Other
Place’ which was a large banqueting hall full of people with delicious
food on the tables. However the people could only eat with the metre
long spoons fixed to their hands which were so long that, try as they
might, they could not get any of the food into their mouths, so they
were all in an agony of hunger and frustration.
‘OK’, he said, ‘now show me Heaven’. They went up to Heaven which
was another banqueting hall which looked exactly the same with the
food and the metre long spoons fixed to people’s hands, but the
people were politely and gently feeding each other and enjoying the
collectivity!
####
Heaven is a place where the policemen are English, the cooks are
French, the car mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the
whole thing is organised by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where the cooks are English, the car mechanics are
French, the policemen are German, the lovers are Swiss and the
whole thing is organised by the Italians.
####
Alternatively:
Heaven is having an English home, an Indian wife, a Chinese cook and
an American income.

45
Hell is having an English cook, an Indian salary, a Chinese house and
an American wife!
“But if you eat English food you can become quite good
(detached) because there's no taste in English food.”
Guru Puja, France, 08-07-90

####

A man died and went to heaven. When he got there it looked pretty
boring – all flat and white, with everyone sitting around quietly,
nobody saying anything and nothing happening. So he asked St.Peter
if he could have a look at Hell. St.Peter took him down and they
entered a pub with loud music playing, full of people laughing, talking
and singing.
‘This looks much better’ said the man ‘I think I’ll stay here’
‘OK, as you like’ and St.Peter left.
Ten minutes later some devils with red skin and pointy tails came and
dragged him out through a door and threw him into a pit with other
people screaming and sobbing. The floor was red-hot, the air choking
with sulphur fumes and the devils kept stabbing him with their
tridents.
‘What’s going on? What is this place?’ he asked
‘This is Hell’ they replied.
‘But what about the pub full of people enjoying themselves?’
‘That’s just the Publicity Department’.

Told by Shri Mataji to illustrate that we are seduced by our ideas of

what is enjoyable....

46
“There was a gentleman who was a very good man and a very
great seeker and he went to Heaven because he died. He was a
good man so God have him a key to Heaven, but he said, 'What,
here the people are so sober, enjoying themselves, they are in
complete joy, but there is no fun, I didn't have any fun before
this.'
So they said alright you go to Hell and see for yourself and if you
choose Hell you can go to Hell, so he came in and he found all
kinds of funny things happening. Ego being pampered, go ahead,
go ahead, do like this, very good for you, come along, be more
fast, you must kill your ego, you must kill your super-ego, this
and that and he says very good idea, you see it's such an ego
pampering thing that he liked the place; so the people who are
doing that said, 'What are you doing here?' He said, 'I have come
to Hell.’ 'This is not Hell.’ ‘Where is it?’, ‘Peep out from there.’
He started seeing from different peep holes, and he was amazed.
People were put into burning fire, some were in the boiling oil
and all sorts of things, he got the shock of his life. He says,
'What's that!' He turned around and said, 'Is that Hell?' They said
'That's it.’
Then he said, 'What are you doing here?'
They said, 'We are the publicity department!’
That's what they are! Don't listen to them. You will develop
cancers, you will go mad, you will have all kinds of problems.
You'll be broke.” Sydney, 23-03-81

####

47
Demonocracy
“... But now-a-days everybody has become that king, you see.
They all are Henry the Eighth now-a-days. In a democracy,
everybody has become a demon. The reason is demon-ocracy;
not democracy but demon-ocracy. Because everybody is equal to
a king. What’s wrong? What’s wrong with us? We are great. If
he’s a king, I’m also a king.” Sydney, 25-03-81

####

Before Sahaja Yoga I was always quite happy being depressed.

####

Q. How many Sahaja Yogis does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None, they let Mother do it.

####

‘There are two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and
the other is getting it.’ Oscar Wilde

####

A. What did Shri Mataji say in Her talk?

B. She said we should introspect ourselves and not criticise
others.
A. Yeah, I can think of a few people who need to do that!
B.

####

48
49
 Religion

When it comes to religion, human beings seem to become particularly

brainless – apart from atheists who are too brain-ful! Imagine being
Shri Mataji coming on this Earth, being faced with all the religions and
trying to work out how to give people Self-realisation and first-hand
experience of the Divine!

“We were having a dinner party, and there was an ambassador,

sitting next to Me and he said, ‘Why do you like Jung, because
he talks of the old things? And why are you against Freud, who
has given us something new?’
But I just told him in a joke:
‘All right; anything new, we should try? All right, we have never
eaten this table, dinner table, let us eat the table, not the food.’
Spirituality has grown from the seed today to this flower state; in
this living process you cannot just have a flower from
somewhere hanging in the air, it has to be on the tree, it must
have a basis.” Vienna, 09-07-86

####

One day six blind people decided to go and visit a creature called an
elephant which they had heard of. When they got there they went
inside the cage and felt the elephant.
When they got home they discussed the experience.

50
1st person (who had felt the leg): ‘So now we know what an elephant
is like – it is like a big hairy tree-trunk.’
2nd person, who had felt the tusk: ‘No, no, it is very hard, round and
smooth coming to a sharp point.’
3rd person, who felt the tail: ‘What nonsense, an elephant is a
swinging rope with a hairy tuft on the end!’
4th person, who felt the trunk: ‘You’re right, it is like a swinging rope
but not hairy on the end, more kind of soft and sniffy with holes in.’
5th person, who had felt the belly: ‘You’re all wrong, an elephant is like
a giant balloon in the air but very solid.’
6th person who felt the ear; ‘Ha, let me tell you the truth – an elephant
is like a big fan and you can feel the breeze coming from it.’
And they all got to arguing and fighting......

Moral: How, when there is only one God, do all the religions and even
branches of the same religion manage to fight, argue and kill each
other?

“So knowledge can be only known through the Spirit and that is
why we have to be the Spirit. Before that, it is darkness, like the
story of the elephant, everybody reaches some mental
conclusions; like, there were some blind people and they wanted
to feel the elephant.
So somebody felt the leg and he said the elephant is like a big
pillar. Another quarrelled with him – he said no, when he felt the
tail, it is like a rope. And somebody felt his ears – he said no, it is
like a fan. And they were all fighting with each other, thinking
that they were absolutely correct. But when their eyes will open

51
they’ll say that everything is correct and elephant is something
different.” Rome, 09-09-83

‘Now you might say that, ‘Why Moses didn't talk about it, or
Abraham didn't talk about it?’ Because their job was, you see,
they are all connected with each other, only we are fighting,
they are not, they are all together. But the trouble is when
people do not have eyes to see, one might say, ‘The elephant is
just a tail,’ or somebody might say that, ‘It's just the leg,’ but they
are all one together”. Jung Society, New York, 16-09-83

####

There were some mice who lived inside a piano. Every evening music
would fill the air and they would listen enraptured. The older mice
spoke of the legend that the music emanated from ‘The Creator’ - this
huge mythical creature who had made the piano and played the
music.
One day some rather over-intelligent mice went exploring. When they
returned they called all the mice together and announced:
‘Friends, today we have discovered where the music comes from – it is
no mystery. It is caused by these felt-headed hammers which strike
enormous metal ropes. The ropes vibrate and this causes the music’.
After this the mice were divided – some believed in the ‘scientific’
explanation, while others clung to the traditional belief in the Creator
and they all lived unhappily ever after.....
Moral: Science and religion need not be at odds with each other.
Many of the greatest scientists – Einstein and Newton included – were
spiritually minded people.

52
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited
in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as
something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his
consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our
personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task
must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of
compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its
beauty.” ― Albert Einstein

‘Don’t doubt the Creator because it is inconceivable that accidents

alone could be the controller of this universe.’ – Isaac Newton
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep
moving.” ― Albert Einstein

The following is a story sometimes attributed to Einstein; although

there is no evidence to support that.
An atheist tutor asks the class how if God created everything then He
must have created evil and all the suffering in the world. Einstein
responded by asking the teacher if he believed in darkness, to which
he replied that he did; and did he believe in cold? Again an affirmative
answer; and is there such a thing as silence? Yes, and does evil exist?
Yes evil exists, undoubtedly.
‘But actually darkness is only an absence of light; and cold is only an
absence of heat, silence is an absence of sound and evil is only an
absence of God’.
This is more the Hindu view that evil (as embodied by Rakshasas –
‘demons’) is only delusion – mainly delusions of ego, which identifies
with the body and is subject to lust, greed, envy, pride etc. It is
believed that illumination of the Truth will remove this, like the

53
famous example of a man in the dark holding a snake and thinking it
is a rope. Once the light is switched on there is no more discussion
required!

####

Once there was a big flood and the whole town was under six feet of
water. There was a boat going round rescuing people from their
houses. One man was leaning out of his first floor window as the boat
came past.
‘Hello, sir, we’ve come to rescue you’.
‘No, that’s fine, thanks. I have faith in the Lord that he will save me’
‘But it’s looking very dangerous, sir’
‘No, thanks, the Lord will protect me.’ So they left.
Some time later the water had risen another eight feet. The rescuers
were flying by in a helicopter to save those stranded. By this time the
man was sitting on his roof. They shouted to him on the loudspeaker:
‘Hello, sir, we’ve come to rescue you’.
‘No, that’s fine, thanks. I have faith in the Lord that he will save me’
‘It’s looking very dangerous, sir, the water is still rising’
‘No, thanks, the Lord will protect me.’ So, unable to persuade him,
they left.
The water continued to rise; the man was standing on his chimney,
then on top of the chimney pot and the water rose up, up; up to his
nose, over his nose, over his head..... and he drowned.
When he got to Heaven he was really furious.
‘Where’s God? I want to talk to him.’ So they showed him into the
Divine Presence.

54
‘What’s going on? I had faith in you, that you would save me, and look
what happened – here I am – dead! What kind of protection do you
call that?’
‘But, my dear fellow’, replied God, ‘Who do you think sent the boat
and the helicopter?’

Moral: Deciding how we want God to look after us is not

surrendering!

####

At a shoe-beating session:
Person leading: ‘OK, let’s start by shoe-beating our own name’.
Yogi: (gives seven circles and starts writing on the ground)
‘O-W-N -N-A-M-E’.

####

55
56
 ####

“My Grandmother used to tell Me a story, that there is

difference; talk of religion and to be in religion.
And as she told Me a story of a man. She said that he believed in
God and that was the Truth for him. That was the Truth.
So, one day, he found a man, of course it's a story, going to
meet God.
So he asked, “You are going to see God. Will you do me a
favour?"
He said, “Yes, what can I do?" He was lying just on the side of
the road, one side and he was saying, “You see, you go and tell
God that, you see, I am little hungry these days. You better
arrange for my food."
He said, “What?"
He said, “You just go and tell him."
He said, “Look at this man! He is just ordering God that he
should give him food!"
Then he went further on and through the forest he was passing.
He saw one yogi, you see, standing on his head with all his
stomach inside, all bones showing off and as if now going to
collapse into a very frantic state of devotion.... doing all kinds of
Yogas and things like that and praying to God, must be with
both hands towards Him and soaking the feet, may be, like mad,
you see, and asking, “Why don't You meet me? Why don't You
meet me? I want to meet You! Why don't you meet me?"

57
And the man who was going to see God went through that side
and He said, “Now please go and ask Him why don't You come
and see me? You better come and see me, Why don't You do it?"
So he said, “Alright, I'll come, I'm sorry." He had become thin,
you see, absolutely thinned down, condition very miserable. He
said, “Alright, I'll go and tell God about you." So he went up. He
saw God.
So God asked, “Did you meet some people on your way?" He
said, “Yes, I met a horrible one who is all time saying `Why not?
Why this?' and `Why?', `Should I do it and should I not?' And
this and that, is going on. So, will You go and meet him? He's
asking."
He [God] said, “No, better tell him to do it little more, you see...
still he has to do. He requires more effort. He won't be satisfied.
Till he gives up his efforts, let him go on." I mean he would have
become mad like that.
But now God says, “Alright, let him go ahead! What to do? If
you tell them, they don't want to listen, so let them go ahead."
Then he said, “Then I met another mad fellow, who was on the
street, he said that `I'm hungry, ask God to send some food for
me. Please ask. Tell God that I'm hungry.' "
He [God] said, “Really?" He called all His managers He said,
“Please send his food. Have you not yet arranged his food and
all that? Please arrange it."
He was quite surprised. He said, “What is this? This man is just
telling `I'm hungry,' and God is so much worried about this
fellow and not worried about the fellow who is standing on his
head and asking such a lot of questions to God."

58
So God knows everything, so He told him, “Now, alright you
are going down, you just tell them one story to both of them
and see their reactions and then you will know."
So He told him a story. “You tell them that, `I went to God and
saw there God passing a camel through the eye of a needle.'" and
he said, “Really?"
He said, “Yes, you go and tell them." So he came down. This
fellow was still on his head.
He came back, “What did God say?"
He said “You have to go on still for some time."
He said, “Oh! Really? Well! All glory to God!"
He said, “Yes, he said so."
He said, “Really?" Then, “Did you see something special there?"
He said, “Yes, I saw that He passed a camel through the eye of a
needle!"
He said, “No, no, don't tell me stories! How can it? Such a big
camel! How can it pass through the eye? After all it's impossible!
It is impossible! This is impossible! You are just now trying to
befool me. Because you have been to God you think you can
befool me. No, no, I cannot take it, no, I cannot take it!"
So he went to another fellow, he was nicely eating his food. He
said, “Yes! I knew, you see, I just told you because you asked me
if you have to tell you anything, I knew God will send my food
and everything. I'm quite alright."
He said, “Did you see anything wondrous there?"
He said, “I saw the wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles,
that God passed a camel through the eye of a needle!"

59
He said, “What is so miraculous? He is God! He's God Almighty!
What? He can pass even Universes after Universes through that
hole! What is it for God? He is God Almighty don't you
understand God Almighty? Because you have met Him, you
think He's nothing! Because you did it so easily, you think He's
nothing! Because He behaves like [that] you think He's nothing!
He's God Almighty! So what? to Him, what is it?"
Then he realised; this is faith. That is what is enlightened within
you with Puja, not your rationality which is brought down
actually quite a lot.” 19-07-80 The Meaning of Pūjā, Brighton,
12-06-78, Caxton Hall, London, UK

####

A Brahmin being ferried across the river asked the boatman:

‘Have you learned Sanskrit?’
The boatman replied: ‘No’.
‘Then half your life has been wasted!’ said the Brahmin.
When the boat had reached about halfway across the boatman
asked the Brahmin: ‘Did you ever learn to swim?’
‘Of course not!’ replied the Brahmin.
‘Then your whole life has been wasted – the boat is sinking!’

####

60
 ####
A seeker was performing penances to please Lord Shiva in the forest.
Finally the Mighty Lord appeared before Him. He prostrated in
absolute reverence.
‘What boon do you want?’ asked the Three-eyed God.
‘My Lord, I have only one desire which is to see You and that has been
fulfilled’
However Shri Mahadeva insisted that He must give one – and only
one - boon to His devotee, so the seeker asked if he could take the
advice of his family. Shri Shiva agreed to meet him back at the same
time and place the next day.
When he got home he asked his wife what they needed. ‘Gold,
husband, we need gold, how else are we going to live?’
Then he asked his mother what she wanted. ‘I long to see my
grandson, your child, who has not been born yet’
Then he asked his father who was blind. ‘My son, if only I could get my
sight back!’
So the next day the devotee went again to the forest and sat in
meditation waiting for the Lord, who appeared and asked what boon
was required.
‘My Lord, forgive me for asking, as you know I seek only Your Darshan,
but the boon I ask is that – my father should see my son eating off a
gold plate.’
Lord Shiva laughed and, as the seeker had asked nothing for himself,
granted his wish.

####

61
 ####
A missionary is trying to convert a simple village man who asks him
what he has to do to become a Christian.
‘You just have to go to church on Sunday morning’.
‘OK, that I can do’.
So they tell him he is now a Christian.
The next morning the man is down at the river at sunrise offering
water to the rising sun when the missionary sees him.
‘What are you doing? You can’t do that. You have become a
Christian!’
‘Yes, Sahib, I have become a Christian, but does that mean I have to
give up my religion?’

“The Christians are converted in India. They usually come from

very poor backgrounds. They believe that Christ was an
Englishman born in Buckingham Palace. There is a joke about a
villager near Allahabad. He was converted and given the name
Sikander (Alexander), so he became Alexander Bhura. Bhura was
his own name meaning Blondy.
Every time he came to Allahabad, he would go for a dip in the
holy river, the Ganges. The missionaries who converted him said
that now that he had become a Christian he could not worship
the River Ganges. He was amazed at this absurd proposal and
said in his village language: ‘I have become Sahib, but how can I
leave my religion (Dharma)?” Meta Modern Era, Ch.6 Religions

####

62
 ####

“They told me the story that Tsar had an idea that everybody
has got a religion, why not Russia also should have some
religion. So they sent for the Catholic people to come down and
tell them about Catholicism.

So the Catholics came, that time there was only Catholicism, so

they came and they said ‘All right, Catholicism is very simple that
you can drink, do what you like, only thing, you cannot marry
again.’ Tsar said, ‘This won't work out in Russia, is difficult, not
for us.’ So he said, ‘All right, now let's have another one’. So
they sent for Muslims, Islam.

So the Muslims came in and they said that you can marry any
number of wives, doesn't matter, but you can't drink. They said,
‘This won't suit us’.

So they had another third religion that was this supposed to be

Orthodox, you see Orthodox religion, the most liberal one; was
this Orthodox Greek religion and they said, ‘Oh, you can drink
and you can have as many wives as you like as long as you give
us sufficient money.’ Only their interest was money. They said,
‘This is all right, very good religion. We have to give them
money and only thing they have to do is to call us religious so
that we are religious people; nobody should say that they have
no religion’. That's how the religion came into this country,
Russia.” Chelsham Rd, 06-08-85

63
Another version:
And the story they told that when the Russians wanted some
God or some religion all types of people came in.
First came the Catholics and they said of course you can drink
any amount you like, because Christ didn't say much about it.
And Christ did distribute wine in a wedding. Now just use a little
logic and you'll understand, it can not be an fermented wine. He
spontaneously created wine and how can you in a second make
it into an alcohol? You have to ferment it at least for a month.
Because in the old Testament so much has been said against
drinking, that Christ didn't think it much necessary to talk much
about drinking, because he was more concerned with the ascent
and with the second birth.
So the Catholics said alright Tsar, you can drink, but you cannot
marry again. This was too much for the he said I must have
many how can I manage with one, so I don't like this religion.
So the Muslims went there and they said, alright. You can have
Islam, you can marry as many you like but you cannot drink.
So they said, this religion won't fit us much, because we must
drink morning till evening.
So the Greek Orthodox went there and said: “Do what you like,
as long as you give us money sufficient, we will recommend you
to God." This is what we have done to our great incarnations
like Christ, like Mohammed Sahib, Krishna, Shri Rama. What
human beings have done to them, that one should mock our
religions. The reason is that we are not powerful enough to
follow what they told us. But when you become the Spirit,
automatically you do it.” 06-09-84, Vienna

64
 ####

A Buddhist monk walks into a Pizza restaurant;

Waiter: ‘What would you like, sir?’
‘Make me one with everything’, replies the monk.

####

The Nine Hundred and Ninety-nine Names – a devotional story

A devotee of Lord Vishnu used to say the Vishnu Sahasra-nāma –

‘Thousand Names’ every day. One day his wife said to him:
‘Husband, every day you say the thousand names, one of which is
vamsha-vardhana –‘increasing the wealth of devotees’; so how come
we are always poor? ‘
The devotee thought about it and realised that his wife was right,
materially their life was hard; so he took a charred stick and crossed
out the name, and said only nine hundred and ninety-nine names.
At the same time in Vaikuntha (Shri Vishnu’s abode) Shri Lakshmi
happened to look up at the face of the Lord and saw a black smudge
on His cheek.
‘What is this, my Lord, is it some new kind of Kajal? (Camphor-soot
used to blacken the eyes)
Shri Vishnu rubbed his cheek and, looking ruefully at the black mark,
went into meditation to discern the cause.
‘He is right, I have not been doing my job’ said Lord Vishnu, and
disguising himself as a wandering monk went down to the Earth.

65
He came to the house of the devotee who, however, was down at the
river doing his morning ablutions, but his wife greeted the stranger
and gave him some water and food.
‘May God bless you’ said the monk as he left, and when he had gone
the wife found herself dressed in a beautiful silk sari with gold
ornaments and their house had become a mansion with many cows,
goats, and chickens in the yard.
When the devotee returned and saw the big house, he thought he
must have gone the wrong way, but then he recognised his wife
dressed in all her finery.
‘Wife, what has happened?’ he asked. She explained to him about the
wandering monk and his blessing.
‘Oh, no’ he cried in great distress, ‘it was the Lord himself who came
to bless us and I didn’t see him. How could such a misfortune happen
to me,’ and he fell to the ground beating the dust with his fists.
At that moment Shri Vishnu appeared in his full form with his four
arms in all His splendour; ‘Arise’, He said,’ your wife saw me only as a
wandering beggar, but you have seen me in my full form. Are you
happy now’
‘Yes, my Lord’ said the man, prostrating himself at Shri Vishnu’s Feet,
‘Now I have received the greatest blessing’.

####
“I was coming from Riyadh to London and I went off to sleep.
When I got up, I found absolutely different people on the plane.
All the ladies who were travelling were dressed up in a very
orthodox way, also the men and then I opened my eyes, and I

66
saw extremely fashionable ladies, with all thing exposed, and the
men, like dandies, smoking, drinking.
So I asked the air hostess, 'Did we touch some other airport?' She
said, 'They are the same. What makes you think..?'
'I mean, I can't recognize them,' I said, ‘How are they changed
like this?'
So she told me, 'They always do like that.' Just imagine!”
Tunisia, 11-11-94

####

A Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim are crossing a river in a boat when

the boat starts to fill up with water.
The Muslim prays, ‘O Allah, please come and save me’ and sure
enough he is whisked away to the other side.
The Christian gets on his knees and prays: ’O Jesus, please come and
save me’ and in a trice he’s on the further bank.
So the Hindu is thinking ‘Who should I pray to for protection – Shri
Durga? Lord Shiva? Shri Ganesha? Shri Vishnu?’
So finally he decides to pray to Shri Ganesha ‘Oh! Lord Vinayaka who
removes all obstacles, please come and save me’ and immediately Shri
Ganesha appears.
However He is keeping His distance, dancing merrily, banging a drum
and singing. The Hindu is puzzled – ‘Oh! Lord, why are you singing and
dancing, and not saving me?’ and Shri Ganesha replies ’You always
sing and dance when you immerse me in the river so now I am singing
and dancing for you.’

67
 ####

One day a man is walking along and he finds a bottle with a genie
inside. The genie offers him a wish if he will open the bottle, which he
does.
‘So what do you want for your wish?’ asks the genie.
The man thinks for a moment and says, ‘I’ve always wanted to visit
the Andaman Islands, but I am scared of flying and I get seasick in
boats so could you build a bridge there from the mainland so I can
drive over.’
The genie is shocked, ‘What!! Do you know how far that is? It’s
hundreds of kilometres – how many pillars and beams and tons of
concrete do you think that would take? No, no, it’s too much! Ask for
something else.’
‘OK,’ says the man, ’could you explain the Hindu religion to me, then?’
The genie thinks for a minute and asks, ‘What colour do you want the
bridge painted?’
####

68
 Language
Language can be a great source of confusion (Tower of Babel!) as well
as humour:
####
A French Yogi staying in the ashram wanted to make himself useful
and the ashram gardener suggested he could prune a tree in the
garden which had become over-grown. He readily agreed and was
supplied with a saw, gloves, ladder, etc. and it was explained what to
do:
‘Cut off every other branch on both sides up to three metres, OK?’
‘OK, I understand’
Unfortunately the gardener was called away at that moment and
when he returned half an hour later there was a bare trunk up to
three metres with no branches at all; he was shocked.
‘What happened? I thought I said cut off every other branch’
‘Yes, I have done what you said and cut off every branch up to three
metres’
Actually the tree recovered quite well and didn’t look too bad after a
few months.

####

A Spanish uncle staying in Cabella was translating Shri Mataji’s talk

from the Italian translation into Spanish. Shri Mataji explained that
for Vishuddhi we should eat butter and avocado, translated into
Italian as ‘burro’ and ‘avocado’.

69
He kept the Italian word for butter –‘burro’ and translated *avocado
as ‘abogado’; however in Spanish ‘burro’ is a small donkey and
‘abogado’ is a lawyer, so his translation read ‘For Vishuddhi we should
eat donkeys and lawyers’!
*Avocado is an Italian word; in Spanish the fruit is called Aguacate.

####

The story goes that when Dr Warliker was very new in Sahaja Yoga
the Sahaja Yogis came round to do a Puja at his house. At the end of
the Puja they said, ‘Now, let’s have Aar.ti’, so, thinking they had said
‘Let’s have our tea’ he went into the kitchen to put the kettle on!
(P.W.)

####

In Bengali ‘Sahajjo’ means ‘Help!’ In Calcutta some Sahaja Yogis were

going around houses giving realisation during the daytime and
knocked on a door. ‘Who’s there ?’ came a voice from inside.
‘We’re from Sahajyog’ (in modern Indian languages the a’s at the end
are dropped)
‘What was that?’
‘SAHAJYOG!’
‘No, I’m sorry, I can’t help!’

Finally the misunderstanding was sorted out and the man opened the
door and got his Self-realisation.

####

70
 ####
At one time in the UK an old Mercedes stretch limo was bought to
drive* Shri Mataji around. Chris J was one of the drivers who worked
as an engineer. One day he got a call but, as he was busy, a colleague
took a message which ran:
‘This is John from Shudy Camps; can you take the limo to the airport
this evening’.
However the colleague misheard slightly and the message was
written: ‘from Shudy Cabs’.
The next day Chris was called to his boss’s office and asked whether
he was ‘moon-lighting’ as a cab driver (the terms of his contract
forbade any other employment without the company’s permission).
He was very puzzled until the message was shown to him and he
explained the situation.
* In practice the car was not suitable for driving Shri Mataji but it was useful
for Her luggage which could amount to seven large suitcases plus other
items as She often bought large quantities of gifts for the Sahaja Yogis
from everywhere She visited.

####

A. How’s the book you’re writing about Sahaja Yoga?

B. Not too bad; I added twenty pages to it today.
A. Twenty pages! That’s great! How did you manage that?
B. I increased the font size and the line spacing.

####

71
 ####
Verse for ‘Ai Giri Nandini’; (pulling the ears)
(It’s the middle of winter and the heater isn’t working well)

Havya goddan-oldhita, wanna gedda nu-hita,

Bedda gedda nuhita, getvan tūde,
Dūya wanna speshita, waddabadda gas-hita,
Bedda gedda gas-hita, getvan tūde.

####

72
 Misprints
Many books and booklets are produced in Sahaja Yoga and inevitably
mistakes occur! The Spell-checker on the computer can sometimes be
less than helpful (who hasn’t written ‘form’ instead of ‘from’, without
the spell-checker noticing?)

####

A colour poster printed in large quantity and given as a gift on India

Tour in the 1980’s had the following quote from Shri Mataji:

“Whatever you do, it should be done with the faith that you
have in worshipping, the zeal of a worrier and sensitivity of an
artist.” Marathi Letter

The original quote said ‘warrior’, of course, but probably most of us

are better at worrying!

####

Another booklet: ‘So desecration is very important in Sahaja Yoga, one

of the very great basics for our growth…’

(My theory is that if you spell ‘discretion’ as ‘descretion’ the Spell-

checker will suggest ‘desecration’!)

####

73
 ####
Nirmalanjali (Hindi Sahaja Yoga songbook/Mantrabook);
‘Hark the Herald Angles sing’/ ‘Angles from the realms of glory.’
(Again, blame the Spell-checker!)
(Reminiscent, perhaps, of Pope Gregory I who saw some sweet blonde
children in the marketplace in Rome and, when told they were Angles
(English), said;
“Non Angli, sed Angeli” –‘Not Angles but Angels’)

####

Yogi 1: You’re so lucky not to have any catches!

Yogi 2: Yes, it’s a funny thing; the more I meditate the
luckier I get.

74
 Madness!

“I’ll tell you a story. Our Prime Minister, Jawaharlal Nehru, went
to a lunatic asylum, and there were some mad people there,
talking sanely, for a change.
So they asked him, ‘Who are you?’
He said, ‘I am Jawaharlal.’
They said, ‘You are Jawaharlal Nehru?’
He said, ‘Yes.’
They said, ‘Are you the Prime Minister of India?’
He said, ‘Yes, I am.’
‘See, it’s all right. I used to say the same thing till I came here.’
So that’s what happens. When the sages come on this earth they
are crucified, but if some cheat and a thug comes in, they are
worshipped.” 04-07-85. Holland

####

“There were two drunkards who were drunk. They went to a

hotel. They wanted to have a room for themselves. So they went
and told the clerk that they would like to have ‘Two rooms with
a bed.’
The clerk thought about it for a bit and said, ‘Alright, you want
to have a room with two beds.’ So he opened a room and said
these are the beds for you. So fully clothed as they were, they
slept in the same bed.
So one calls to the other; ‘There is somebody in my bed.’

75
Other one says, ‘I too have someone in my bed.’
So the first one says, ‘What should we do?’
The second one says, ‘Let’s try to throw them out’; and there
was a big struggle and lot of noise in the room.
So the first one says ‘I've got him out.’
The second one says, ‘But he has thrown me out.’
So the first one says ‘Alright, you can come and sleep with me,’
So what is the use of arguing with them and getting angry,
getting into tension? I mean they are ‘drunk.' No use arguing
with a mad man or a drunkard. They are drunk by power, drunk
by money; and you are filled with the light of God Almighty. If
you understand the difference, you will realize that it’s no use
fighting with these people.” 16-11-80, UK

####

Another story about drunk people.....

“So those people who cannot become collective are either right-
sided or left-sided but more left-sided. But left-sided people can
be collective in negativity. There is a very big fraternity of
bhoots.
You see some drunkards sitting together. They are saying: “See
there's so many problems, ecological problems." They are
drunkards, all drunk, and: “There are problems of other kinds,
when will this end?"
So another one says: “Wait, wait, wait, I've heard that the whole
world is going to collapse very soon."

76
Then the third one says: “Thank God we are going to be
collapsed, finished."
Then the fourth one says: “But what will happen to our pubs?"
They say: “It's alright, if we are not existing, what does it
matter?" That's how the fraternity of the bhoots act. They cannot
see fun at all, they cannot enjoy at all and they become very,
sort of think they are very meditative, they are some higher
people, they are something superior... in negativity. But the end
of these people is that they become lunatics, while the end of the
right-sided people is they become idiotic.”
06-08-89 Shri Bhairava Puja, Milan, Italy

####
“There is a story about a farmer who was travelling by train and
there were some naughty boys who came from the city so they
wanted to pull the legs of the farmer.
So one of the boys asked him that ‘If the eggs are selling here in
this station for 20p and in the next station the chicken is selling
for one pound, what is my age?’ Just to tease him.
So immediately the fellow says ‘You must be 22.’
He said ‘How do you know exactly I am 22?’
He said ‘Because my brother, my brother who is full mad, is 44.’
You see, they are so practical. You know, you see, as they call it
in America, as `brass tacks', you see they know what is it. He
looked at him and said ‘22’; ‘How? Why?’
‘My brother, who is 44, is full mad.’

77
And these boys didn't know where to look you see, because they
wanted to tease him. And the farmers have great sense.
Like we had one minister who had developed a bad neck, you
see, in Viśhuddhi. He was Chief Minister. He used to go on like
this, his head used to go like this (rolling side to side).
So some farmers came to see, saw him and they looked at him.
They said ‘He's saying no already, what's the use of telling him
anything?’ We have lots of stories of farmers in India which
shows how much they understand life.
I had a very nice gardener, he was from a village. So there was
one fellow, old fellow, another gardener.
He said ‘No use talking to this old fellow.’
I said ‘Why?’
He said ‘If he is a Hindu, then an old man is a gone case.’
I said ‘Why?’
‘Because in young age they live like ascetics and in old age they
become like bhoots, but if he is a Muslim, they don't live like
ascetics in young age. They enjoy life and in old age they are
satisfied souls. So you better talk to a Muslim old man than to a
Hindu old man.’
I mean the reading is so correct about things, you know.
Everything that he said was so practical and so sensible. I was
really surprised how he could say these things with such
sweetness and with such goodness and how he understood so
many things so well. And he was a very young fellow; about I
would say thirty to thirty-two years of age.

78
So he came to Bombay [Mumbai] to see us. He didn't know our
full address, he only knew Marine Drive so he told the fellow,
his taxi fellow, ‘You drive me to Marine Drive.’
He said ‘Marine Drive is a big place.’
He said ‘You drive me anywhere in Marine Drive’. So he drove.
So he went and asked ‘Is there a very tall gentleman staying in
Marine Drive somewhere?’ And you see, My husband is one of
the tallest in Indians, you see.
So he went to the servants, asked ‘Have you seen any tall sahib
anywhere?’ He said ‘Just one tall is staying there, you see.’ So
that's how he came to our house. And he showed them his
shoes; ‘This shoe he has given me and he wears the same style of
shoes.’
So servants notice all these things, they are very practical people.
So another gardener who met him, he said ‘Yes, there's a tall
fellow and he wears the same type of shoes.’ And so he came to
our house.
How they are sharp and how their eyes are so penetrating, how
they know everything about everything.” 05-07-85, Holland

Another version

All is done that by this great personality, Shri Ganesh. How much
we owe to Him.
Apart from that, He gives us the basic wisdom. I mean, a villager,
supposing you talk to a villager who is not exposed to all these
nonsensical sensations, you'll find him extremely practical and
wise. There's a story that one villager was travelling by train with

79
other boys who were very flamboyant and thinking that they
were very smart.
So, they were trying to tease the man.
So, a boy asked a question to him. “Now, if the butter is selling
for one pound, for a quarter of a pound, what will be the price
of the egg in the next station?" He looked at him. He said, “All
right, you tell me what. Then, you cannot tell the price of the
egg, then can you tell me my age?"
He looked at him. He said, “You must be twenty-two." He said.
“How do you know?" He said, “I have a brother who is eleven
years and he is half mad, but you are full mad."
So, an ordinary villager answered this smart fellow and the smart
fellow didn't know where to go. So, all this smartness and
cleverness finishes off when it comes to innocence.
26-08-90 Śhrī Gaṇeśha Pūjā, Austria

####

80
 Innocence

“A boy went to an exhibition with his parents and was roaming

around, his name was called - every time the parents used to call
his name, you see - so he said, ‘Oh God, am I lost again?’
If somebody thinks you’re lost, you’re lost; it’s their mistake; but
the boy was not lost. Others think you are lost, but you are not,
but sometimes, you start thinking the same. Nothing is as
dangerous as your own fears.” 25-03-81, Sydney

####

‘Shri Mataji told the story of Shiva and Parvati, who went for a walk
and met a snake. The snake said, ‘I want to go and meditate.’ So they
said, ‘Alright, go under that tree and meditate there.’ When they
came back from their walk, they found the snake lying there, badly
beaten and bruised with some skin peeled off. They asked what had
happened? The snake explained that it had been stoned by some
boys while meditating. Shiva said. ‘I told you to meditate but I didn’t
tell you not to hiss.’

(Told to illustrate than one must keep one’s nature – women must be
women and men must be men - and not be dominated by their
wives!). 21-09-91, Guided meditation in the Palazzo, Cabella

####

81
 ####

At a shoe-beating session outside on the grass at ISPS (Dharamshala

School)
Person leading: ‘OK, let’s shoe-beat the *Six Enemies’
Class VII-er: ‘Six enemies, let’s see, there’s Govinda, Ram, Ivan, ...’

* The Six Enemies are to Indians like the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ and are
Lust, Greed, Envy, Pride, Delusion and Anger.

####

“My father was a great realised soul, and he never used to close
the doors or windows in the night. And one day a thief came,
and took away the gramophone that he had.
So he felt very sad that ‘He has taken away the gramophone;
now, what about records, he can’t buy. How will he play?’
So my mother joked that ‘Better give it in the newspaper that
the thief who has taken away our gramophone, please come and
take away the records also.’
This is a sign of Lakshmi principle. One who is satisfied is
happiest when he can give something. If you give with one hand,
you’ll get from ten hands.” 16-07-96, Moscow

####

82
A lady was planning a dinner party for some of her husband’s
work colleagues. ‘Oh, that Mr Johnson is coming, he eats like a
horse! I’d better cook extra.’ she said.
“When the gentleman came to the house for dinner, the child
was looking at him very intensely. And then he says: ‘Mother, he
doesn’t eat like a horse, as you told me!’ Everybody was
shocked!” 17-09-00, Ganesha Puja. Cabella

####

Posh Lady, doing good works by visiting the poor in hospital, to rustic
in hospital bed:
‘Tell me, my good man, what do you do all day lying in bed?’
Rustic: ’Well, ma’am, sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just
sits’. (Zen Master!) Punch magazine. 10th April 1925.

####

“A gentleman was waiting at the airport. There he saw a young

girl looking like a boy. In order to verify this he asked the person
standing next to him, ‘What do you think? Is that a girl or a
boy?'
The person replied: ‘She's my daughter’.
Our gentleman felt embarrassed and he said, ‘I'm sorry, I didn't
know you were her father’.
The second person replied, ‘Well, actually I'm her mother’.”
Meta Modern Era. Ch.2
####

83
At Ganapatipule a daytime seminar was organised for the
Dharamshala school children to talk about their experiences of Sahaja
Yoga. After some deep and sweet reminiscences the topic got onto
how vibrations and bandhans could help. One boy mentioned how he
found something he had lost after giving a bandhan.
A younger boy stood up to the microphone and said:
‘One day I lost my watch and then I found it’
A teacher came to the mike and said: ‘I think what he forgot to say
was that he gave a bandhan’.
‘No, I didn’t’, replied the boy, ‘I just remembered where I left it’.

####
“Now there is a joke about the nouveau-riche people, in Russia.
Russians are not like that, normally, they don’t accept something
because it’s a fashion.
So one fellow said: ‘My God, you lost your hand in that
accident.’
‘Doesn’t matter, but I lost my very expensive watch from
Switzerland’.
‘Really? What?’
‘It was a Rolex.’ Rolex is the fashion.
(A dog is on the stage) I have not seen dogs taking to any fashions;
maybe their masters might buy, but not these animals. We don’t
have to become animals of course, but we also don’t have to
become slaves of fashion.” 23-08-97, Shri Krishna Puja, Cabella

####

84
“We had a seminar of thousands of people in Russia and there
was one American Sahaja Yogi and a Russian Sahaja Yogi asked
him: ‘How many Sahaja Yogis do you have in America?’ So he
said, ‘To be precise, it is fifty-six.’ So this Sahaja Yogi from
*Togliatti says, ‘Oh my God, you are fifty-six thousand? We have
only twenty-one thousand here in Togliatti.’ They can't
understand; they think Americans are very bright, very smart
people; there must be at least 56,000.
So they're taking to Coca Cola culture now, Russians, they go to
McDonald’s. The whole world is looking at you; they follow
you; this Hollywood doesn't understand its own responsibility.”
Los Angeles, 29-09-94.

*The town of Togliatti in central Russia revolves around the Lada car
factory which was set up by the Italians in 1966 and was named after the
leader of the Italian Communist Party, Palmiro Togliatti. The factory
produced the Lada 1200 based on the Fiat 124. At one time there were
indeed 21,000 Sahaja Yogis there!

####

‘You know what the problem with the collective is? – everyone keeps
criticising each other!’

####

85
The Chinese Farmer (a Zen story)

There was once a prosperous farmer in China. One day the farmer’s
favourite horse ran off with the wild horses. The neighbours all came
round to commiserate: ‘What bad luck, losing your best horse!’ they
said.
‘Maybe’ responded the farmer.
The next day the horse returned bringing with it several of the wild
horses which were captured. Again the neighbours came round:
‘What excellent fortune, to have gained so many horses for nothing!’
they exclaimed.
‘Maybe’ replied the farmer.
The following day the farmer’s eldest son, who was his right hand on
the farm, was trying to break in one of the wild horses but was
thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbours returned: ‘Such
misfortune, you son breaking his leg, and just when the harvest is
due.’
‘Maybe’ said the farmer.
A few days later the army recruiting officers came to town and took
with them every able-bodied young man to fight in the war; of course
the farmer’s son could not go as he had a broken leg. The neighbours
were jubilant: ‘That’s wonderful news! You son got spared military
duty because of his leg! What good luck!’
‘Maybe’ replied the farmer.

####

86
 ####
A seeker of truth approached the master reverently and asked:
‘Master, can you give me enlightenment?’
‘Possibly’, replied the master.
‘How long would it take?’ enquired the seeker.
‘Maybe five years’
‘Five years! That’s a long time! What if I work really hard and make a
great effort?’
‘In that case, maybe ten years,’ responded the master.

“A Guru tries to make his disciples effortless, which is called as

Prayatna Shaytilya - means 'relax your efforts'. So people who
have come recently have to put in efforts to stop the efforts. A
very common thing in the West, is the harsh tongue, the
sarcasm, hurting others - is a subtle way of violence. Such
people should make an effort to stop - just don't talk. Watch
your mind - is it trying to talk something sarcastic? So, this
watching also requires effort. So, to sprout the seed is easy, but
then one has to put in the effort to look after the little plant.”
Guru Puja, Leysin, Switzerland, 14-07-84.

####
At Ganapatipule a westerner saluted a line of Indian yogis sitting on
the beach meditating with their feet buried up to the ankles in the
powdery sand.
‘We are doing ‘dry cleaning’’, they quipped.

####

87
88
 Left and Right

Q. How many street turnings are there in London?

A. Only two, left and right!

Quoted by Shri Mataji to illustrate that there are only two ways of
getting off-centre.
‘We have only two problems. As I say how many turns are there
in London - only two, left and right. In the same way we have
only two problems - whether left or right.’ 08-04-87, London

####

‘I feel guilty that I don’t feel vibrations’

(A Left Vishuddhi catch is the most common reason for not feeling
vibrations)
####
Rather right-sided Yogi to another more ‘laid-back’ Yogi who doesn’t
wish to be so frantically active: ‘God, you’re so left-sided!’
Laid-back Yogi: ’Maybe a bit to the left of where you are!’

(If the right-siders call you left-sided and the left-siders call you right-
sided, then you may be somewhere near the centre!
Actually Sahaja Yogis are all essentially Sattvikas – denizens of the
central channel.)

####

89
“With this Bhranti-‘delusion, error’ I have seen people can go
amok and they don't know they are going amok, because all of
them are going that side. There's a story about a father who told
his son that: “Whichever way people go, you must follow them."
So he saw many people going and he followed them. Where
does he go? To a funeral!
That doesn't mean: `Don't use your brains!'” 08-10-00, Cabella

####

If two people are in a room together and one is feeling better than
normal and the other is feeling worse, who’s got the better
vibrations?

####

‘I had this amazing sensation of cool water flowing down over my

head and relaxing my whole body.’
‘Don’t tell me, you were in the shower.’
‘No, stupid, I was having a very good meditation.’

####

In the UK, during the nineties, it was decided to try and get the Yuva
Shakti more involved with Pujas and the collective, so, rather
unwisely, they were asked to help clear up after the Pujas at Shudy
Camps. They did a good job, but it had the opposite effect of what
was intended - after a couple of Pujas it was noticeable that fewer of

90
 them were coming and one of them coined the phrase that they had
now become the ‘Hoover Shakti’!

####

1st Yogi: If you got a boon from the Goddess, what would you ask for?
2nd Yogi: I’d ask to be the worst Sahaja Yogi in the world.
1st Yogi: OK, that seems a bit strange. Why would you ask for that?
2nd Yogi: Because I am very imperfect and I want all the other Sahaja Yogis
to be better than I am!

####

“There is a saying in Sanskrit, which is very common ‘Vidya

vinay’ena shobhate’, that is, ‘Vidya’ even the knowledge, is
decorated, shobhate means gets decorations, or ‘is beautified’
only through humility.
I don't know if I have told you a story about one saint who was
meditating and was blind. And a king came there and asked him,
‘Did you see some people around?’ He said, ‘Yes, yes, King, my
King. Sit down. I saw your servant come in and then your
minister came in and then the prime minister came in and then
now you have come.’
He said, ‘You are blind, how did you know? Through your
meditation?’
He said ‘No. Common sense.’
He said, ‘What is the common sense?’

91
He said, ‘First the servant came in. He said, `What, you are
bogus fellow sitting down here, wasting your time.' He gave me
two-three abuses, used bad language and said, `Have you seen
any person here?' So I said, `No.'
Then the minister came in. He didn't abuse me, but he just asked
Me.
Then the prime minister came. He said `Sir' to me’, must have
been from England! and might have said also ‘Thank you’
perhaps! (laughter) ‘And then came the king.’ And he said that,
‘You were extremely humble. You first touched my feet, you sat
down on the Mother Earth, waited for me, to ask you, `What
do you want?' and in a very humble way said: `If you have
heard of people around you', because I am blind, so you didn't
say something that would hurt me, in such a humble way, if I
could tell you. But at least hundred and eight names of the Guru
you took, before you asked me this. So I know you are the
learned, you are the humblest, so you must be the king.’
Otherwise in those days we at least never had kings or prime
ministers who were box-office actors. Even the public was so
innocent that they would not accept such a nonsense, you see.
So this was the difference.
From this story we have to derive that the more we are learned
into Vidya, into the technique of Sahaja Yoga, we have to be
humble.” 17-10-82, UK

“I mean for Me, sometimes I have to eat with bhoots and

sometimes I have to eat bhoots. I not only eat with them, but
also eat them, is the worst part.” 17-10-82, UK

92
 ####
For more Sahaj humour visit sahajcartoons.blogspot.com where
there are jokes, many of them illustrated, humorous stories and
even links to sites such as photos of Shri Mataji laughing, different
ways Shri Mataji showed to do a bandhan, etc..
An example:
Yogi 1: We have found a way of measuring how good Sahaja Yogis
are.
Yogi 2: Really? And what have you discovered?
Yogi 1: We have discovered that half of the Yogis are below
average!
Yogi 2: No, really, that’s shocking!

Another one
Child to adult: Why do I have to keep quiet during meditation?
Adult: Because people are sleeping!

93
 Page 93 – Solutions to Puzzles
Crossword – Akashwani Diwali 2016: – Page 7
Across: 1.Dice 3.Dance 6.Ra 7.Weather 8.Atman 9.Lakshmi 10.Sari
12.Pastures 14.Nalakubari 17.Drawn 18.Venus 20.Neo 21.Sugreeva
Down: 1.Diwali 2.Crackers 3.Dream 4.Aartis 5.Emancipation
11.Ground 12. Pandavas 13.Tea 15.Lion 16.Aparna 19.See

Scramble 1:- Page 9

Cringe, knave, proven, eighth.
He found that living in London and having to clear his left Vishuddhi
every day was a ‘PAIN IN THE NECK’.

Shri Mataji’s 108 Names Crossword:- Page 16

Across: 1.Nirguna 4.Svastha 9.Jana-va 10.Nirbhava 11.Sahaja
13.Bhavani 16.Arch 18.Atyaya 20.Labha 21.Prana 22.Badha
23.Shama 25.Adhara 27.Vandaru 29.Jana 30.Tara 31.Nihsamshaya.
Down: 1.Nirnasha 2.Garbha 3.Nirakara 5.Vijaya 6.Sandra 7.Apaya
8.Gambhira 12.Jay 14.Vilasini 15.Nibha 17.Mahapujya 19.Ashraya
22.Bhakti 24.Rajni 26.Hara 27.Vara 28.Atma

Scramble 2:- Page 21

Travel, lemon/melon, deity, light.
The electron felt caught up because of his ‘NEGATIVITY’.

Scramble 3:- Page 34

School, forked, knight, acronym.
He spent so much time with his feet in a bowl of salty water they said
he was ‘FOOTSOAK-KING’.

94
Vishuddhi Word Search: – Page 37

Akashwani – No.6. Crossword:- Page 41

Across: 1.Devanagari 8.Astral 9.Shambhu 11.Heavenly 12.Ekavira
13.Bear 15.Rosetta 17.Anima 18.Bagels 19.Hanukkah 22.Male 23.JM
24.Ra 25.Squirrel 27.String 28.Seekers
Down: 1. Dussehra 2.Nabhi 3.Gruhalakshmi 4.Ramayana 5.Is
6.Prince 7.Slayer 10.Adams 13.Brick 14.Avatar 16.Eagles 18.Bharat
20.Norse 21.Hands 23.Jung 26.Lok

Crossword – Akashwani Adi Shakti 2016:– Page 55

Across: 1.Carol 6.Prana 8.Children 9.Fate 10.Lakshmi 12.Gaya
14.Mantra 16.Era 18.Ambika 19.Day 20.Adi Shakti
Down: 1.Conch 2.Racial 3.Open 4.Radha 5,Saraswati 7.Athena
9.Fig 11.Artemis 13.Anand 14.Maria 15.Heart 17.Maya

95
Adi Guru Word Search:- Page 48

Akashwani Navaratri Puzzle:- Page 71

1.Discus 2.Conch 3.Sword 4.Whip 5.Javelin 6.Spear 7.Plough
8.Axe 9.Trident 10.Arrows 11.Mace 12.Barbed Dart 13.Halter
Shade column: SHRI JAGADAMBA.

Scramble 4:- Page 73

Shrink, aloft, lather, bleat.
The traffic in London moved so slowly because everyone was driving
‘ON THE LEFT’.

Akashwani No.1- March 2016 Crossword:- Page 87

Across: 1.Garima 5.Chit 7.Jesus 8.Hrim 10.Ram 11.Nitya 13.Breeze
15.Albert
Down: 1.Gajanana 2.Rosewater 3.Moses 4.Dharma 6.Time 8.Horse
12.Abel 14.Ear

96
Appendix 1. DEITIES QUIZ
i) Shri Ganesha (10 points)
a) Father and Mother e) Vehicle
b) Brother f) Eight Swayambhus around Pune
c) Two weapons g) Mahaganesha Swayambhu near
d) Other hands holding Ratnagiri

ii) Adi Guru Dattatreya (21 points)

a) Father and Mother d) Holding in the hands
b) Wish-fulfilling cow e) Incarnations before Christ
c) Number of heads and hands f) Incarnations after Christ

iii) Shri Rāma (19 points)

a) Father and Mother h) The herb which saved Rama’s
b) Three brothers brother
c) Father’s other two wives i) Mountain where the herb
d) Wife and wife’s father grew
e) Two sons j) Being who brought the herb
f) Demon who abducted His wife k) Day Rama’s victory is celebrated
g) The demon’s two brothers l) Day His birthday is celebrated

iv) Shri Krishna (15 points)

a) Father and Mother f) Son and grandson
b) Brother g) Poor friend who came to visit
c) Wicked Uncle and his city h) City Krishna ruled
d) Foster parents and their i) The promise He made to
daughter Shishupala’s mother
e) Place where foster parents j) Demon He rescued sixteen
lived thousand women from?

97
v) Shri Vishnu (20 points)
a) Incarnations that were animals or part-animal
b) Incarnations that were human
c) Number of heads and hands
d) Holding in the hands
e) Snake who is His support
f) His friend, the sage who is always stirring up trouble
g) His doorkeepers who were cursed to take birth on Earth
h) Sage who kicked Shri Vishnu to wake Him up

v) Jesus Christ (8 points)

a) Place of birth
b) Country to which they fled to avoid persecution
c) His cousin who baptised Him
d) Disciple known as Didymus –‘the twin’
e) Employed to feed the five thousand followers
f) Brother of Mary and Martha who died
g) Place of marriage where He turned water to wine
h) ‘Blessed are the ............ for they shall see God’.

Answers:
i) Shri Ganesha
(a) Shiva, Parvati (b) Karttikeya (c) Pasha (rope), Ankush (elephant goad)
(d) Blessings or tusk, bowl of sweets (laddhus) (e) Mouse / rat
(f) Ashta-vinayakas (g) Ganapatipule

98
ii) Adi Guru Dattatreya
(a) Atri, Anasuya (b) Kamadhenu (c) 3 heads, 6 hands (d) Conch,
discus (or lotus), trident, drum, waterpot, rosary (e) Janaka,
Abraham, Zarathustra, Moses, Lao Tse, Confucius, Socrates (f)
Mohammad, Guru Nanak, Sai Baba

iii) Shri Rama

(a) Dasharatha, Kaushalya (b) Lakshmana, Bharat, Shatrughna
(c) Kaikeyi, Sumitra (d) Sita, Raja Janaka (e) Luv and Kush
(f) Ravana (g) Bibhishana, Kumbhakarna (h) Sanjeevani (i) Dronagiri
(j) Shri Hanuman (k) Vijaya-dashami (Dussehra – 10th day of Navaratri)
(l) Rama-Navami (jayanti) (9th day of spring Navaratri)

iv) Shri Krishna

(a) Vasudeva, Devaki (b) Balarama (c) Kamsa, Mathura (d) Nandi,
Yashoda, Vishnumaya (e) Vrindavan (f) Pradyumna, Aniruddha
(g) Sudama (h) Dwaraka (i) To forgive his insults 100 times
(j) Narakasura

v) Shri Vishnu
(a) Matsya (fish), Kurma (turtle), Varaha (boar), Narasimha (man-lion)
(b) Vamana, Parashurama, Rama, Krishna, Jesus Christ, (Kalki) (5 pts)
(c) One head, four hands (d) Conch, discus, mace, lotus (e) Shesha
Nag (f) Narada (g) Jaya, Vijaya (h) Bhrigu

vi) Jesus Christ

(a) Bethlehem, Palestine (b) Egypt (c) John the Baptist (d) Thomas
(e) 2 loaves and 5 fishes (f) Lazarus (g) Canaan (h) ‘pure in heart’
(Total 92 points)

99
Appendix 2. Yuva Quiz

100
101
102
103
104
105
Answers to Yuva Quiz.... (do you really need them?)
Round 1: Basics
1. ‘The Support of the Root’ (moola –‘root’, adhara –‘support’)
2. Love, compassion, security, detachment, responsibility,
fearlessness, courage, joy, etc., etc.
3. Element of Light (candle flame, etc.)
4. Destructive powers of God (Shri Jesus, Kalki, Shiva, Ganesha, etc.)
manifesting as diseases and disasters. There are eleven (Ekādasha
–‘eleven’, Rudra –‘fierce, dreadful’)
Bonus: Left shoulder – Lalitā Chakra. Right shoulder – Shrī Chakra.

Round 2: Treatments
1. Normally seven of each.
2. Putting ghee (or other oils) up the nose. Shri Hamsa Chakra
Swāminī mantra. Prānayama exercise.
3. Āgñyā Chakra.
4. Right hand to Mother Earth, foot-soaking, three candle treatment,
camphoring, Shri Mahākālī Bhairava (or Īḍā Nāḍī Swāminī) mantra,
getting up early for meditation (and not going to bed late), string-
knotting, paper-burning, etc.
Bonus: A vest (singlet)

Round 3: Mantras
1. ‘Ya Devi sarva bhuteshu śhāntiḥ rūpena samsthitā, namo-‘stu Te,
namo-‘stu Te, namo-‘stu Te namo namaḥ’. (This is the Tāntrika
Devi Sūktam: there are other Devi Sūktams)
2. ‘I am the Blissful, Happy and Auspicious God’ (‘I am Shiva’ is not
really a full translation)
3. Shri Agni Devatā.
4. Right Side (Piñgalā Nāḍī)

106
Bonus: Om –‘Amen, name of God’, Swāhā –‘well-spoken’ (su –‘good,
beautiful’, āhā –‘speak’) The consuming power of the fire.

Round 4: Deities
1. Shri Vishnu.
2. Trident (Trishula) – also drum (Damaru), sometimes axe (Parashu),
bow (Pinaka), sword (Khadga), and others!
3. Normally (but not always) His left tusk is missing. His vehicle is
usually a rat/mouse (Shri Mataji says both at different times) but
can also be a peacock, etc.
4. Shri Brahmadeva.
Bonus: Nearly all of them! But most famously Confucius.

Round 5: Bhajans
1. ‘Give blessings to all’ (sab –‘all’, ko -‘to’, dua –‘blessing’, dena –‘give’)
2. Binati Suniye.
3. William Blake. (tune by Ian Bascombe)
4. Binati Suniye; Ma Teri Jaya Ho; Mother, please come in my heart.
Bonus: Chelsham Road, 5th Oct 1984.

Round 6: Picture Round

1. Socrates 2. Jesus 3. Karttikeya 4. Lao Tse (written in Chinese!)
Bonus: Athena – Shri Mahālakshmī.

Round 7: Shri Mataji’s Life

1. Prasad Rao Salve
2. Noon, 21st March 1923, Chhindwara, Madhya Pradesh, India.
3. 5th May (1970)
4. Mahātmā Gandhi
Bonus: Mathematics (from Fergusson College, Poona)

107
Fun Round: Miscellaneous
1. Holi.
2. Shri Krishna.
3. Swadhisthan – ‘Om Vam’ (water element) or ‘baṁ, bhaṁ, maṁ,
yaṁ, raṁ, laṁ’.
Vishuddhi – ‘Om Ham’ (ether element) or ‘Am, ām, im, īm, um, ūm,
ŗm, ŗŗm, lŗm, lŗŗm, em, aim, om, aum, am, aḥ.’ (16 vowels)
4. Normally fire (in Sahaja Yoga) sometimes water (outside Sahaja
Yoga).
Bonus: Either: Dhūpa (incense), Dīpa (lamp), Naivedya (eatables,
water), Gandha (perfume) and Pushpa (flowers).
Or: Milk, butter (ghee), yoghurt, sugar and honey (pañch-āmṛut – ‘five-
fold nectar’) plus saffron.

We hope you have enjoyed the Sahaja Yoga Joke Book. We would
welcome any contributions at chris108m@yahoo.co.uk.

Jay Shri Mataji!

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