PM 106 2.1 - Be Aggresively Nice

BEING AGGRESSIVELY
NICE IN THE WORKPLACE*

Prepared by:
Mr. JOEY C. LANDICHO
Course Instructor
PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho
1
Anonymous
• Dian and three of her friends graduated from the same business school.
Dian knew two of those friends had better skills than she did. Yet after three
years, she was the only one securely on a successful career path. Since they
had all worked hard and tried the same businesses, her success remained a
mystery to Dian until her boss invited her to lunch.
• Dian relates the conversation that gave her insight into her own success. “We
finished discussing assignments, and my boss said: ‘Dian, you have what it
takes to make it.’ I asked her what she meant. She said, ‘You are
aggressively nice. Nice won’t get it, and neither will aggression. But
together, that’s a lethal combination.’
PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho 2
Anonymous
• “That changed the way I look at myself,” Dian continues. “Even in high
school on committees, I’d practiced what this woman was telling me. When I
was pushy, nobody listened to me. And when I was too nice, nobody
paid attention. But aggressively nice worked.”
**

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Put Your Thoughtfulness in Writing
• Kim says she comes by her thoughtfulness honestly. “My mother would sit
us down at the kitchen table the day after Christmas. And she wouldn’t let us
up until we’d written every last thank-you note.”
• Kim’s habit ended up getting her one of her first jobs. “I had my first
book accepted for publication by Prentice-Hall. I was so excited, until my
manuscript came back from the editor. Every line had a correction or
suggestion.” But instead of despairing, Kim studied each mark until she
understood why it read better their way.

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Put Your Thoughtfulness in Writing
• “When I was done, I felt I’d had the best editing course in the world. I’d
learned so much! So, I wrote the editor and told her so. I thanked her. She
wrote me back that in her 20 years as an editor, nobody had ever written
her a thank-you for editing. When my book was done, that editor offered
me a job as a reader for her. Eventually, I did freelance editing for them.”
Kim’s thoughtfulness paid off. If she’d remained silently grateful, that editor
never would have known. And Kim wouldn’t have gotten a job out of the
deal.

5
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Mentors and Mailrooms
• It’s not just the boss’s impression of you that counts. Be nice to every person
you meet. Don’t turn off the charm as soon as your boss leaves the room.

8
PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho 9*
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Improve Interpersonal Skills in the Office
• Make a list of 10 ways you would like to be treated by team members. Use
those principles to help you deal with others. Use the statements that follow
as a guide in developing your list.
• I’d like to be respected.
• I’d like someone to listen when I talk.
• I’d like people to give me the benefit of the doubt.
• I’d like to be appreciated.

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Improve Interpersonal Skills in the Office
• I’d like to be given a chance to show what I can do.
• I’d like to be forgiven when I mess up and not have it constantly thrown in
my face.
• I’d like to be congratulated when I do a good job.
• I’d like to be able to trust other people to do what they say they will do.
• I’d like to be left alone when I’m working on a deadline.
• I’d like others to ask me for my opinion.

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Be Aggressively Nice in Business Dealings
• What about when you’re in the heat of a hostile deal with your competition?
What if you’re bidding against a competitor or trying to get the lowest price
you can get out of your supplier? In times like those, how can a professional
still be nice?

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Your Role with Your Team
• Even though you’re the new kid on the team, you may be able to play a valuable
role in defusing team conflicts. You can be nice to everybody.
• But you can take it further—be aggressively nice on your work team. You start out
unbiased, free from age-old resentments. **
• You’ll be in better shape to be aggressively nice at the office if you meet all the personal
needs, you can outside the office. Come to work ready to work. Don’t lug around a list of
needs you expect your teammates to fulfill.
• And no matter how nice you are, sooner or later, you’ll run into conflict. It may be a
personality conflict or a clash of wills. When it happens, be prepared to do whatever it
takes to restore harmony. One of the best ways to be aggressively nice in the heat of battle
is to apologize. **
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In Summary
• Be kind to others in the workplace. Do aggressively nice things such as writing
thank-you notes.
• Cooperate with your teammates and don’t be afraid to apologize. You won’t like
every person on your team, but you do have to get along with each person.
• You can get amazing results without being nasty—niceness often works wonders in
the business world.
• Let others know that you appreciate their work. This includes everyone from the
secretary to your boss to the mailroom workers.

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Reference(s)
• Ferguson (2009). Professional Ethics and Etiquette, Third
Edition. Ferguson Publishing. United States of America

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BEING AGGRESSIVELY

NICE IN THE WORKPLACE*

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

PM 106 - Professional Ethics - JLandicho

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