mermaids monthly

Issue #10 - October 2021

Ashley Bao
Bogi Takács
Cathin Yang
Chinua Ezenwa-Ohaeto
Coral Alejandra Moore
Csilla Kleinheincz
Elizabeth Kestrel Rogers
Elyse Russell
Felicia Martinez
inkshark
John Picacio
Kathryn Kania
Marie Brennan
Marisca Pichette
Marlane Quade Cook
Melanie Jayne Ashford
Miranda Leyson
Ori Jay
Stefan A. Slater
Toshiya Kamei
Umiyuri Katsuyama
Mermaids Monthly, P.O. Box 748, 9245 State Route 22, Hillsdale, NY, 12529

mermaidsmonthly.com mermaidsmonthly@gmail.com

Editor and Publisher - Julia Rios

Assistant Editor - Ashley Deng
Designer and Publisher - Meg Frank
Logistics Wizard - Lis Hulin Wheeler

John Picacio

by inkshark

Mermaids Monthly is a magazine all about mermaids.

Happy mermaids, murderous mermaids; mermaids,
merdudes, mermxs – maybe even a few highly confused
manatees. Any cool aquatic chimeras that you could
ever possibly think of with any and every fin color and
combination. To subscribe, visit mermaidsmonthly.com.
 Marisca Pichette
Chinua Ezenwa-Ohaeto

Marlane Quade Cook

Stefan Slater

Ashley Bao
Csilla Kleinheincz
Bogi Takács
Marie Brennan

Melanie Jayne Ashford

Coral Alejandra Moore Felicia Martinez

Cathin Yang

Kathryn Kania
Elyse Russell
Miranda Leyson

Ori Jay Cathin Yang

Coral Alejandra Moore

Umiyuri Katsuyama
Toshiya Kamei Elizabeth Kestrel Rogers
 Marisca Pichette
We welcome you your bones
wrapped in seaweed and
ancestor’s scales,
following the tides that led you
here
to us.

Lay them by tails

Lay them by shells that once
were not empty.
Lay them in waters too dark
to find a second
time.

We welcome your bones

too heavy to float
and make room
for a reef
of dead.

waves lap and salt

sinks
into arms
of all who once held,

continue holding--
even as oceans
end.
 by Marlane Quade Cook

Edited by Lis Hulin-Wheeler

She curled into the still ripples, half- The wildness overtook her, a wildness of
submerging herself in the calm eddies. tides and the pull of the ravening moon,
Her hands drifted together so the palms the eerie recklessness of ebb and flow,
almost touched, fingertips overlapping, wax and wane, storms on the waters.
before she lifted them to her ear. She She reveled in the rawness of it and gave
could hear the surf between her hands. herself over to it. The depths called to
She breathed to the rhythm for a short her, teeming with life and destruction.
time, eyes closing in a trance-like state Every particle in the waters seemed to
of repose. The waves began to pulse be alive, and every wave and turning of
around her, ebbing and flowing, though the moon seemed to deal death. And yet,
her curled body remained grounded like impassioned with this newfound watery
a rock in the surf. She brought her folded elemental depth, she gloried in it and
hands to her lips and blew through the wallowed in the life-and-death of the
space between her palms. The breath was tides.
barely more than a whisper, but as it met
the air it swelled and spread; it blossomed The tempest rose and surged. Like a
into a gale. lover’s passion it was part of her: it
swelled and ebbed and overcame her.
She remained in the iridescent ripples, It bore her on its waves until she lost
drifting into a reverie of turgid purity control and dissolved into uncontrolled,
that quickly burst into transcendence. chaotic winds.
She became the waves, became the ripples,
not idealized or imagined with shimmers Too late she felt the crack, the break, the
and rainbows, but laced with the slime of wreckage. Too late she felt the panic, the
seaweed and the grit of the ocean floor. fear, the life lost. The sorrow, the regret of
her oneness with ocean and storm and
elemental destruction. She tried to pull she could rescue from the wreckage of her
herself free with a wild cry of mourning abandon. She pulled them to the shore in
and sorrow, but she was trapped in the her powerful, but gentling embrace, their
tempest and had to ride it out until the arms clutching her, murmuring thanks,
fierce waves were spent and her regretful prayers, and blessings all at once in the
spirit came sobbing back to her smaller, delirium of near-death.
finite body, curled safely in the tiny inlet,
caressed by mildly lapping waves and She entwined them and warmed them
gentle breezes. with her body, pressing her lips against
them and breathing into their lungs,
Tears coursed from her tightly closed restoring a fraction of the life the storm
eyes, her heart ached, and she wound had taken.
tightly into herself to prevent the feeling
of loss–and responsibility. Her tears bathed their face; her lips
returned life to them.
Then she started at the sensation of
human touch, and her ocean-troubled When the mortal woke, it was to find
eyes opened wide. themself in her arms. She still wept, and
A nearly inert body drifted in the eddies poured her sorrow and joy into them.
of the inlet, wafting toward her, then They drank it in, and drank her in, and
away, as the teasing waves washed over accepted all she poured out, even accepted
her body. death if it came from her.

She saw the faces of those lost in the And finally, she was gone. The human
storm–her storm–and her heart twisted didn’t see her go: whether into the waves
in an agony of remorse. Their half-open or back to a shore abode, they couldn’t
eyes looked feebly to her, and his fingers be sure. But they recalled her lips, and
were all that had the strength to reach out her touch, and her warmth against them,
in supplication. She rose in a sucking of and they were sure she had been real
water, a dripping and tangible sea-spirit, and not the dream of one half-drowned.
a woman’s body emerging from ripples They wandered away, full of visions and
and waves. In a fluid movement she nightmares and half-rememberings. They
reached out and grasped the outstretched never saw the form that sank back into
hand, drew one lost soul fiercely to her, the waves and became one with the waves
defying her own act of destruction. She and water again, watching them from
pulled them nearer and their arms twined afar and weeping, only to return to her
gratefully around her. Her strong form wildness and forgetfulness once more.
embraced them, gathering this single soul

Cook
 by Ashley Bao

she has black hair floating in the seafoam, a crown

for a body freckled with emerald scales, constellations
on coffee-stained skin. as dark clouds paint the daylight
with smoke and tears, as the sea seeps into the black
rocks of shore, she croons an old song. even the crabs
creep from their burrows and crane their necks to listen:

Come here, come home.

her voice a choir of crashing waves. the ocean keeps

its tongue secret from women, but i see her lips,
red as coral, move to a melody once moored to
the seafloor, now weaving a mirage across the sea.

with angelfish tangled behind her ears, she wraps

seaweed around my arms. her breath is brine and
broken glass, her chest colder than night,
her body two strands of a braid that weaves me in
as the third. she has black hair and it binds
my lungs to hers, inhale becomes exhale,
sea-soaked air becomes salt-soaked water.

Come here, come home.

the crabs return to their burrows.

the tides turn back to the moon.
the sky has cried enough today.
the girl in the water has a bride to consume.
 by Marie Brennan
Content Note: This story contains drowning, intentional
harm, and emotional manipulation

This story was originally published in Aberrant Dreams in

2007

The ships always hurry away when they not so beautiful, and they must eat and
see me. Or rather, they try to; I try to drink and age. But I imagine hardly a one
make sure they can’t. I wish I could call of them gives a thought to the precious
out to them and explain. I’m not some treasure he carries with him every day: his
horrible thing, luring men to their deaths soul.
simply for the pleasure of it. Killing them
is just something I have to do. You see, I had a soul once. I didn’t think of it
they have something I need. much, although occasionally a priest
would remind me to have a care for
No doubt they’d laugh to hear me say its state. They did not approve of my
that. What could I possibly need? Not lighthearted ways. But oh, how I wish I
food or water; I neither eat nor drink. had listened to them; those ways brought
Not rescue from the rock on which I sit, me to the interest of the sorcerer, and
for the water is as comfortable to me now my soul languishes in a jeweled box,
as the air. I have beauty already, with far inland where my lovely finned tail
my long golden hair and my perfect cannot take me.
pale skin. I have a voice that makes the
waves themselves sing harmony. I have If only I could have my soul back, I would
immortality; the seas rise and fall, the take such good care of it! I would dress
moon waxes and wanes, the seasons roll it in the finest silks and sing it sweet
endlessly by, but I do not age a day. melodies. Those men on the ships do not
treat their souls nearly so well. They do
They do not have such fortune. They are not know the value of them.
They curse me for taking their souls from catch them, for they want to go to the sky,
them, for drawing their ships in toward but I cannot let them. They must go to
the rocks and drowning their bodies in the sorcerer, so that I may be free.
the cold salt waves. I don’t know why
they complain, though. If it were not me, One, two -- a few have reached the shore,
it would be a storm, or rough surf, or a but it is no matter -- six, seven -- plenty
dozen other things, and then all those yet left on the ship -- ten, eleven, twelve --
beautiful souls would go to waste. They
all die, soon enough; do a few days less Thirteen.
truly matter?
Fourteen.
Just last week, on the dark of the moon, I
got thirty-four new souls. It would have Fifteen.
been thirty-six, but two swam strongly
and made it to shore. I don’t begrudge My harvest of souls grows ever larger, and
those two. The thirty-four brought my yet my own has not returned to me.
count up to nine hundred eighty-seven,
and now another ship is drawing near. It The dying has ended; there are no more
has three masts and a wealth of shining souls to capture. I wait, and wait, until
white sails, and I can feel the bright, the last of the wreckage has washed
flickering souls even from here. It’s hard ashore, and yet the sorcerer does not
to count them exactly, but there’s more come.
than thirteen, and that’s all I need.
Could it be I have miscounted? Perhaps
For thirteen will bring me up to a it was not nine hundred eighty-seven. It
thousand, and a thousand will get me might have been fifty-seven, which would
one. The sorcerer for whom I gather put me now at . . . nine hundred eighty-
these souls has promised it; once I have three? Eighty-four? Eighty-two? I did
harvested a thousand for him, from the not count so closely as I might have. But
depths of the sea, then he will return my regardless, I will be free soon.
own soul to me.
Unless . . . .
I lift my voice in song, and clouds blacken
the sky. The waves surge higher, the It might not have been nine hundred
ship draws closer, and soon it strikes the eighty-seven, or even fifty-seven. It might
rocks. In through the cracks floods the have been eight hundred.
cold salt sea, and one by one those bright,
flickering souls flutter loose from their Or less?
bodies. They struggle like little birds as I

Brennan
It’s so hard to keep count. The days roll
by and I do not age; one ship looks much
like another, to my eyes. In the beginning
I remembered every one, but now it is so
hard.

But that does not matter. I know what

I must do. I must keep collecting souls
for the sorcerer, until one day I have a
thousand, and the thousand will get me
one. My very own soul, returned to my
keeping.

The sorcerer promised.

illustration by inkshark

New Crew!
Meet the new team! We
are delighted to introduce
the Mermaids Monthly
2022 crew: Miyuki Jane
Pinckard (top left), Noelle
Singh (top right), Vida
Cruz (bottom left) and JD
Harlock (bottom right).

They’re looking forward to

expanding the Mermaids
community and making
sure this fantastic voyage
stays fun for everyone!
Check out page 22 for
more information about
each of them!

Brennan
 The Ghosts
of Mermaids
by Coral Alejandra Moore

The ghosts of mermaids can not sing to the

sea. They float, listless, on the surface of the
water like flotsam. When riled by a wave,
they do not howl, only stare with eyes full of
desperation.

The Answer Atop

Mermaid's Rest
by Cathin Yang

“This is as far as I go. Sure you want to do at the apex of the formation. The Sun’s
this?” Setting for how at certain points of the
year the sun centered perfectly on the
No, Bethany thinks, but her smile betrays bridge like a brilliant gemstone. After the
nothing as she nods. Her destination, bridge crumbled into the ocean, it became
twin rocks in the near distance, looms The Broken Bridge or The Haystacks.
dark and silent in the rain. Colloquially, and due to rumors of
mermaids gathering in the area, it became
The centuries granted the formation Mermaid’s Rest or—coined by sailors—
no shortage of names and fame. The The Mermaid’s Tits.
Ocean Arc when the two rocks were
once connected by an expanse of stone
The last may have proved too crass for the but you’ll have to row the rest of the
denizens of the deep. After over a century way. I’ll give you a flare gun and ammo
of persistent storms and shattered ships, for it. You send that up tomorrow and
most mutter under their breath about we’ll come get you. But remember: two
cursed tits and ship graveyards and give handspans past sunrise. We’re out after
the formation a wide berth. Even now, that.”
Captain Roshana refuses to sail any closer,
Windrider anchored soundly where it is. “Yes, Captain. Thank you.”

“You’ll wait here until tomorrow?” The Captain nods and leaves to check
Bethany asks. on final preparations. Bethany watches
her go, swallowing her fear and tugging
The captain glowers at the rocks, her hood down. Her thumbs worry over
clutching an amulet around her neck. She the engravings and stitches embellishing
mumbles something under her breath; a the leather straps of her bag, seeking
prayer or a curse, Bethany doesn’t know. comfort in the workmanship. Everything
“Only until two handspans past sunrise. she needs is stuffed into the small bag,
Nothing good to be found in this area. the rest stored in a crate by her hammock
Accursed sea witches and storm singers.” in the hold. The conditions of the boat
aren’t luxurious, but what she sought and
“It’ll be safer once they’re calmed,” paid for was swift passage to the rocks.
Bethany says. “The passage between the Of everyone she spoke with, only Captain
rocks will be open again.” Roshana didn’t laugh outright at the idea.

Captain Roshana’s eyes narrow, mouth Five days on the choppy seas wore on
curling in disdain. “So many have her spirit; facing the enormity of the task
claimed. What makes you different?” directly ahead of her, a little more erodes.

Bethany stands a little taller and lifts her Put the ghosts to rest. End the storms.
chin, hoping she appears more defiant and Many have tried, none have fully
brave than childish or petulant. “Because succeeded, but any improvement on
they aren’t me.” the current situation is positive. Small
positive steps can build to something
“Huh. That so?” Captain Roshana doesn’t bigger. One day there might be peace with
seem any more moved by the statement, the mermaids and the trade routes will
but it’s not an outright dismissal. “You open back up.
got gumption, I’ll give you that. My
people will row you as close as possible, Wouldn’t it be great if it was her? She

Yang
knows she’s in for rough competition; The boat lowers to the water, bobbing up
every single mage, wizard, warlock, and down as a second, smaller rowboat is
necromancer, hydromancer, or other type lowered. The crew deftly connect the two
of magical specialist wants that glory. boats with a rope before casting off. A
The promise of fame, honor, riches, and team of four row confidently, strong arms
a title and land for anyone who solves propelling the oars through the water. A
the problem has been an unclaimed navigator sits next to Bethany, mapping
bounty since Queen Annabelle, the great- out their route and scanning ahead with a
grandmother of the king, declared it. telescope.

The few that return are haunted or A translucent blue stone dangles from
touched by the sea in some fashion, a cord around her wrist, a faint glow in
mumbling nonsensically about the the center like a caught mote of light. An
murder of children and stolen land. ocean gem, though whether they’re gems
She’s even heard stories of one man who or something else is a constant point of
claimed the history of the kingdom was debate. Regardless of their origin, the
false and driven on lies. But the storms glowing stones are popular in jewelry or
abate for a few days and the mermaid among sailors as a good luck charm; the
attacks lessen. Sooner or later the storms royal crown has over ten. More than a few
return and another boat gets dragged on the market are glass cabochons infused
down, but progress is progress. with a bit of magic that fade within a
few days. The stone on the navigator’s
Captain Roshana whistles and waves. bracelet looks genuine enough. Maybe it’s
“Boat’s ready!” the luck they need to survive.

One wobbly step at a time, Bethany sways Bethany opens her mouth to ask the
over to the waiting rowboat. She smiles navigator where she got it, but the boat
nervously at the waiting crew as she’s drops suddenly from a large wave. Her
helped into the boat and handed the flare stomach twists and her mouth snaps
gun. shut, now focused on keeping her meal
inside. Even when Bethany’s stomach
“Thank you for taking me to the rocks.” feels girded, she doesn’t dare break
anyone’s concentration with conversation.
The man at the front oars gives her a flat The crew doesn’t talk much outside of
look. “We’re taking you to the reef. You’re directions or warnings, though their faces
rowing the remainder. Tie your bag down, aren’t always wrought in concentration.
Miss. It’ll get choppy on the water and Maybe they don’t like to talk around
you’ll want to hold on.” outsiders. Maybe they’re around each

Yang
other long enough that the silence is
welcome. The navigator shrugs. “You’re the expert.
Personally, I’m rooting for you. Mermaids
It feels like they bob endlessly on the are damned nuisances. It’ll be better if
water, but eventually they draw closer to they’re gone.”
the stone pillars. Their shadowy presence
takes on a clearer form. The jagged shape, Bethany frowns slightly but remains
the slight off-hang all that remains of quiet. The navigator’s words don’t sit
the natural stone bridge. Birds circle the right, but everyone knows how mermaids
expanse, white and grey bodies speckling attack ships in other areas too. The
along the rocks. Rain still pelts them, but navigator spends more time on the sea
it feels like the worst of the storm has than she does, so who is she to question
passed over them. Yet ships have sunk her?
here too, tricked by the calmer waters
and subsequently broken on unseen rocks They pull into where the reef thickens
or otherwise dragged under. She peers out. A ghostly spread of dead coral shows
over the edge of the boat at the shadowy through the clear water. Some are spindly
shapes deep under the water but whether and spiral out, others form large masses
it’s a broken boat or rocks she can’t tell. that look solid enough to stand on. Deep
channels cut through sections of the reef
“We’ll be dropping you off ahead, where like ugly scars. The oars maneuver around
the water is shallow,” the navigator says. them, stopping once the coral rises up
“It’ll be easy for you to row the rest of the higher. One sailor slings his legs over
way in. Tomorrow, you fire off the flare the boat, testing his weight on the coral
gun. We’ll signal back when we’ve noticed before stepping out. Coral cracks under
it. Then you row up to where we’re going his steps. Pale dust and tiny fragments
to drop you off at and hold tight for pick swirl around his feet, but the coral
up.” holds. Another sailor joins him, the two
wrangling the other rowboat in closer.
“But only before two handspans past
sunrise,” Bethany says. “Here you go, Missy. Don’t stop until you
hit the shore. You pull the boat up high as
“Between you and me, the captain will you can, stake it in good.”
give you three. She likes people with guts.
Later than that, we’re going to guess “Yes, sir. Thank you.” Bethany releases
you’re dead and leave. Gotta hit the right her grip on the tether. Her bag is untied
currents for the way back.” and moved into the other boat as she’s
helped over and given the oars.
“Do people often die?”

Yang
“Good luck!” the navigator says. She grins
and waves. “If you make it back, I’ll treat Exhausted as she is, the current location
you to a drink on shore!” is a poor place to sit around. A steady
drizzle leaves her feeling sticky; it’d
Bethany’s cheeks redden as she returns be nice to sit somewhere drier before
the grin and wave. “I’d like that!” preparing for the ritual. Tugging her shoes
back on, Bethany shoulders her bag and
She grips the oars and begins to row. Due trudges off. Circling around the shore, she
to her inexperience, it takes more than finds the mouth of the path curving up
a few strokes to find the right rhythm the rockface itself. Step by step, Bethany
to propel herself through the water. The works her way up. There’s a smoothness
crew lingers long enough to make sure to the rock from national erosion and
she’s on her way before they set off. Even thousands of people crossing over the
against calmer waves, it still feels like it paths, but it only adds to the danger
takes an hour to row to where it’s shallow of the way up. The frayed and broken
enough she can wade to shore and pull rope nailed into the rock wall among
the boat up. more treacherous sections provides a
suggestion of safety but Bethany clings to
“Here I am,” Bethany mutters under it anyway.
her breath. She sits on a large rock to
catch her breath and pour water out of Someone should really fix this path,
her boots. Her fingers are blistered and Bethany thinks to herself. She’ll have to
raw; even the simple act of loosening spread the word about bringing new ropes
her laces and tugging off her boots feels in to repair things. Stoneworkers could
excruciating. find good work chiseling out the path too.
Maybe one day the location will become
All the notes she’s read and stories she’s a rest spot for weary sailors and travelers
heard mention shelter on the climb up. again. Old stories say the view from the
Some natural caves, others carved out top of the rocks is gorgeous; a sight she
by other visitors. The paths on both may enjoy in the evening. The ritual calls
rocks differ slightly, but both have well- for the full moon at its peak. Thankfully
worn paths to the tops, set in when the the ritual relies on nature’s timing and
rocks were a popular spot for ships to the seemingly constant cloudy sky has no
anchor and sailors would come in to rest. effect on the ritual. With a cave near the
Where the seabirds and plentiful fish and top of the rock, she’ll shelter there until
shellfish made for good eating. Bethany just before sunset. Then she’ll travel up to
doesn’t remember seeing any fish on the the top in the remaining light and prepare
way in, but the call of seabirds echoes the ritual.
through the air.

Yang
Though she had planned on hiking up to By the time she reaches the topmost cave,
the topmost cave in one go, she slumps the sky is dark and heavy with thick rain
into the first cave to rest. It’s a small, clouds and the sun long set. Bethany
cramped space for two people at best, drags herself into the cave and sits down,
but mercifully dry. Hundreds of initials, gasping for air as she leans against the
dates, messages, and crude drawings are wall. A far roomier natural cave, there’s
etched into the rock walls. Bethany sits space to stretch out her legs and even lay
against the wall and runs her fingers over down. She drinks more water and nibbles
the nearest etchings. Her legs ache from on another honey cake, eyes closing for a
exertion, the light pulse of her aching brief rest.
hands joining in. She drinks water from
her water skin and nibbles on a honey It’s pitch black when Bethany opens her
cake as she admires the history around eyes.
her.
“Oh no, oh no.” She gropes around for
The view here isn’t so bad: grey ocean her bag. Her hand jerks back as she
spreading out endlessly, ghostly reefs touches something soggy and sticky, a
muted through the water, the hint of puddle around it. A scream echoes in
shipwrecks and sea life dark shadows the space and her heart skips a few beats
in the distance. The caw of seabirds and before she realizes it’s only her dropped
the whistling of the wind add to the honey cake and spilled water skin. It takes
ambiance. a bit longer to find her bag and pull out
a box of matches. By the light of the tiny
Yes, once the storms end, this will be a flame, she finds her lantern and lights it.
nice resting spot for sailors.
It’s dark outside. Did she already miss the
The scenery and small meal bolster window? Shouldering her bag, Bethany
Bethany’s energy and resolve. She takes a picks her way out of the cave. One hand
shard of rock and chisels her initials and on the wall, the other clutching the
the date into the rock before moving on. lantern, she grabs the rope on the wall
The difficulty of the climb fails to lessen and resumes the treacherous hike to the
any as she climbs higher and higher. More top. Even with the lantern guiding her
than once, she screams as a foot slips way up, she’s forced to inch her way up
from the path, clutching desperately to the path out of caution. Bethany’s heart
the guide rope as she regains her balance. thunders in her chest. If the moon is at
More than once, she wonders how many its apex, it’s either covered by the dense
failed to even complete the climb to the cloud cover or hidden behind the top of
top. the rocks. She can salvage things if she’s
early, but too late and it’ll all be for

Yang
naught. The disappointment of her failure
weighs on her with each step. “Human representative. You have arrived.
You bring word?”
Bethany bursts into tears of relief when
she crests the top. It flattens out enough The mermaid’s voice sounds like sand
to walk on, though the terrain is still rolling over gravel, lingering too long
uneven. The true peak of the rock juts out on some syllables, too curt on others.
at the far edge. The rock’s twin sits across The glowing dots continue up her
from it, a dark shadow. The clouds thin chest, shoulders, neck, and onto her
enough, the light of the moon piercing face, changing into dimensional bumps
through. It’s higher on the rise than studding her face like glowing gems. A
the set. There’s still time. She isn’t too vague unease settles into Bethany’s gut
late. The thoughts become a mantra as as she gapes at the mermaid. Everyone
she sets her bag and lantern down and knows the fins on their arms are sharp
searches for the wrapped box with all the enough to cut into a person. That the
ritual reagents. A clam shell, unbroken speed of a mermaid on land shouldn’t be
and mirror polished on the inside. A underestimated.
sapphire, crushed and mixed with purified
salt. A piece of driftwood wrapped with “What?” Bethany says.
kelp and carved with runes. All carefully
purchased and collected and prepared for “Has he agreed to our terms?” the
this moment. mermaid continues. “Will he surrender
the crown?”
The flame of the lantern blinks out.
Bethany curses as her light source “What?”
disappears. The smell of the sea is strong,
almost heady in the air. Something slides Even in the dark, Bethany recognizes the
along the rocks. Bethany looks up, the feeling of a withering glare.
realization she’s not alone dawning on
her. Bethany’s eyes follow along the sleek “The last human representative promised
snake-like form leading up to a human- to speak to the king and present our
shaped torso. The hint of bladed fins jut terms.” The mermaid’s words are slower,
off the arms. Blue dots glow in a pattern over-enunciating. “Are you not the
criss-crossing up smooth scales and filling messenger sent to deliver his words?”
out the details of the shadowy shape
while Bethany’s mind fills in the rest. “What? No. I mean…. No, I don’t know
what you’re talking about.” Bethany
Mermaids are so much bigger in person finally rises to her feet and looks up at the
than the books make them seem. mermaid. “I’m here on my own. I mean.

Yang
I came here. To help you. Your people.” the ground.

The mermaid leans in. The glowing “Useless trinkets. What do you bring
gems and dots lighting her face. It’s not these for?”
a solid glow, at least not everywhere.
Some dots pulse or flicker. Others light Bethany tries not to shrink back, forcing
up in succession. All the same constant her voice to remain steady. “It’s what the
soft blue glow. Bethany finds herself stories say. Bring gifts of the sea to calm
noting the mermaid’s features. Most of the spirits.”
the drawings she’s seen are accurate. The
mermaid’s face isn’t too dissimilar from The mermaid’s dots flash red. She draws
a human’s in shape but the similarities back with a hiss, rising even higher on
end there. The scales carry up her neck her powerful tail. Thunder booms above
and along her jaw, larger scales along her them, shaking the world. Bethany yelps
forehead. There are fins where ears would at the sound, looking for lightning that
be and a great translucent frill instead of never comes.
hair. No nose or lips either, and her eyes
are solid black with some kind of film “Unless you bring the crown, unless
over them. you recover our prince, you cannot do
anything. You waste your time.”
“How do you plan to help, human?”
Crown? Prince? The words mean nothing
With every word from the mermaid’s to Bethany. She pushes on anyway. “Can’t
mouth, rows of sharp serrated teeth glint you let me try? I know I’m young, but
in the dark. Bethany gulps and tries not I’ve done all the research I can! I’ve read
to think about what would happen if the all the stories. I understand the problem.
mermaid bit her. The trapped mermaid ghosts, the ones
who can’t move on. They need the help of
“I’m here to put the ghosts to rest. Put humans to pass on. I can be that huma—”
the ghosts to rest, end the storms. I can
do that.” Another boom of thunder crashes
overhead. The force rumbles through
“How so?” Bethany and she jumps in surprise. The
sea churns violently, large waves crashing
Bethany offers the box of reagents to the onto itself and smashing higher up on
mermaid for inspection. The mermaid the rocks. An eerie green glow pulses
pokes through the collection of items. The underwater as mist rises off the surface.
pulse and glow of her spots flicker then The mermaid’s spots match the same
go dark. She scoffs and drops the box to green, glassy black eyes pierced with a

Yang
pinpoint of light in the center. plucked from the sea and how good
Queen Annabelle had blood on her hands.
“You know only lies.” Her voice echoes
and reverberates, building and layering “You could be nicer and help me instead
with the voice of hundreds. “Like so many of yelling at me!” Bethany shouts back.
glory seekers before, you know nothing. Her hands ball up at her sides and she
Why are you here?” does her best not to cry. “Maybe you’re
lying!”
Bethany shrinks onto herself, expression
faltering. The wind howls as rain begins Bethany stumbles as the world shakes,
pelting down. A whirlpool forms in the overcorrecting and pitching onto her
sea, the green glow condensing into knees. A cast of green shines across the
a single spot. She sucks in a breath, water as a massive mermaid rises out of
grasping what remaining resolve she has. the whirlpool. She shines brighter than
any light, but her eyes and open mouth
“I want to help!” are pits of pitch black. All light is devoid,
showing nothing against the stark green
The mermaid’s frills flare up. “Do not glow. The nature of her visage grows
think yourself special, human. We have clearer as she moves closer; thousands
spoken with many of your kind over the and thousands of swirling spirits make
centuries. We have learned your language up her form. Water rushes into the chasm
because you would not learn ours. We left in her wake as the ocean shudders.
have learned your manners because you
called us uncivilized. We have agreed to Bethany scrabbles backward, eyes wide
negotiate in the ways of humans and we and unable to look away. Her mouth
have seen nothing. We tire of your lies. Of opens and closes, but no words escape.
your ignorance. Of your glory seeking.” The mermaid surges in and grabs Bethany
by her shirt, hefting her into the air with
Anger boils up at the mermaid yelling a single hand.
at her. She did her research. She looked
up stories people had mentioned about “The ghosts of all those who cannot pass
mermaids, what they said about their on.” The mermaid leans in and smiles,
trips to and from the rocks. No one eyes solid black and teeth lining a dark
mentioned anything about talking to pit. “Human, you wish to know the truth?
the king or getting a crown, or how the Come. Face the truth.”
mermaids had negotiated before. She’d
visited one man who had come back with Bethany twists and flails, struggling to
scales on his face, but his words were get free, but the mermaid’s grip remains
mad rambling about missing children strong. The collective of ghosts reach them.

Yang
The massive mermaid’s mouth splits so
wide it cuts across the sky. No glow, no —A merman tugging a shattered rowboat
clouds, no moon, no light; only the inky to a cove as a storm rages around him.
black of nothingness. Another scream He pulls a woman out from the splintered
cuts off in Bethany’s throat as she’s wood, looking around before journeying
dangled off the rock like an offering, up the steep rocks —
snapped up as the ghostly mermaid
lunges and swallows them whole. —The same woman sitting on the beach
as the merman brings her shells from the
Bethany flails in the darkness, unable to sea; she laughs and smiles.
tell whether she’s falling or floating or
something else. The mermaid holding her “Queen Maria?” Bethany gasps, reaching
is gone. for the image as it blinks away.

“Hello?” She calls into the darkness. “—Our prince went to shore—”

A mermaid appears in front of her, “—He came with peace and they killed him—”
spectral and glowing green. Her mouth
hangs open and she stares with blank “—We are the unwhole—”
eyes. The orbs on her face are replaced
with dark holes, the edges ragged and —A handsome man arriving at the castle,
thin cuts sliding across her scales. a blue streak in his black hair. His clothes
Bethany jerks away as the mermaid sparkle like the ocean at noon and the
reaches for her, clawed fingers digging in. court gasps as he kneels before the
More mermaids swim in and surround princess and takes her hand—
her. Their frills are ragged and shorn or
missing outright. The orbs on their faces “That’s Prince Amir.” Bethany says. The
are cracked or replaced with black voids. queen’s beloved. They ruled together for
years before he suddenly disappeared and
Bethany tries to shrug off the hands of the queen went into isolation to mourn.
the mermaids, but they grab her and pull She died from her grief, most say, and the
her deeper into the dark. Spectral voices kingdom mourned her loss.
flow into her head, overlapping, insistent.
Most of the words are incomprehensible, —Prince Amir, at the beach before
rising and falling like whale song or a morning’s first light. He steps into the
deep hum reverberating through her. shallows, blue scales washing over human
Others are stilted fragments of scenes. skin as he swims in the sea. His human
The din crowds her thoughts as images form returns as he returns to land.
flash to life around her. Unknown to him, a woman watches him,

Yang
hidden in the sea rocks. the sea. Some are human, some are
mermaids, fins and face orbs missing.
Queen Annabelle. Bethany shudders, now Sharks drive themselves into a frenzy as
wondering about the bounty she declared. they feast—

—Queen Annabelle with her guards, Bethany squeezes her eyes shut and
dragging Prince Amir into the sea. As he clamps her hands over her ears as she
changes forms, they seize him with nets shrinks onto herself. Dismembered body
and chains. A covetous leer washes over parts, mermaids taken away in water-
her kind features as she approaches with a filled tanks, chests full of blood-covered
dagger, pressing it to the edge of the largest orbs, a royal crown passed again and
orb on the prince’s face— again, the images drill deep into her mind
as the wailing continues in her head.
—Queen Annabelle bowing gracefully at
her coronation, receiving a gold crown “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She cries out.
studded with glowing blue orbs— “I’ll go back! I’ll tell everyone the truth,
I’ll make them understand! I’ll bring the
“—pieces are lost—” crown back! I’ll stop people from hurting
all of you!”
“—ripped to shreds—”
The din in Bethany’s mind falls silent as a
“—unwhole! Unwhole—” voice cuts through. “No, you won’t.”

—Mermaids tending to the rainbow Bethany cracks her eyes open and sees the
bright coral and feeding fish in pools mermaid who spoke to her on the rocks.
made with kelp nets while The Haystacks Her strong arms cross over her chest, tail
jut proudly in the background, a stone slowly swaying back and forth as moving
bridge gapping the two rocks together— through water. Her spots and orbs glow
blue, pulsing steadily. The ghosts no
—The echo of rising and falling mer song longer crowd Bethany or the mermaid,
as mermaids tend to baby mermaids in but they hover and swim around them
translucent egg sacs— in an endless spiral, voices a constant
murmur.
“—Ships! Ships are coming—”
“You are not the first who has heard the
—Coral crushed under the hulls of ships truth. You are not the first to promise
driving into them— change. What makes you different?”

—Blood in the water as bodies fall into Bethany falters for an answer. What can

Yang
she offer in the end? Her research proved ghosts hiss. The mermaid’s spots shine
false, her knowledge inadequate. She red. “This is our home, human. We will
spoke to someone who had gone to not let the humans desecrate it further.
the island, but the ease with which she Find new routes.”
dismissed his words haunts her. Will her
words go the same way? “Will you stop attacking ships at least?”

She swallows and lifts her chin. “Because The mermaid’s glare is again withering.
they aren’t me.” “We attack to defend our lives. Our
territory. Cease hunting us and we will
The mermaid flashes her teeth as her have no reason to attack.”
mouth pulls open. “Are you sincere in
your desire to help?” Bethany shrinks back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t
know.” The words feel inadequate. The
She nods. “Yes. I’ll do anything.” enormity of the situation feels daunting,
but it’s the task she’s agreed to. It’s not
The mermaid snatches Bethany’s wrist in the result she expected, but it’s progress,
a tight grip. A glow surrounds her hand; isn’t it?
when the mermaid pulls away, blue scales
cover the back of Bethany’s hand. The mermaid watches her, expression
inscrutable. Her shoulders drop
“What did you do to me?” Bethany jerks somewhat. A soft sound like a huff
her hand away, touching the scales. escapes her mouth. “Now you know. May
They’re smooth to the touch, a glossy rich that matter. Now sleep.”
blue of the sea.
“Wait, I have more I want to ask—” The
“You have been marked. Find the others. mermaid places her hand on Bethany’s
Work with them. When there is change, forehead. Her eyes and body grow heavy
come back and we will remove the mark.” and limp. She struggles, grasping for
the mermaid’s arm as her body pitches
The visibility of the mark displeases forward and darkness surrounds her.
Bethany, but she can cover it with gloves
or something else. At least it wasn’t The soft crash of waves and call of
her face like the man she’d thought was seabirds rouses Bethany from her
deluded. They’ll have to speak again it slumber. She blinks and rubs her eyes as
seems. “And… will you let people sail she sits up inside the rowboat. Even her
through the rocks again?” bag is tucked into her side. The shine of
blue scales on her hand dismisses any
An uproar swells in her head as the notion it was a dream.

Yang
Bethany digs through the bag for the flare untethers her rowboat and pushes it back
gun and loads in one of the canisters. She into the water. She tries to imagine the
walks into the edge of the tide. Saltwater shallows filled with basking mermaids.
laps over her boots as she raises the flare Of colorful reefs and teeming with life. Of
gun and fires. She winces at the loud pop an intact rock formation never touched by
and whistle, the bright flare shooting high humans. Of a prince and his queen and the
into the sky like a star, white smoke trailing joyous life they could have had.
behind it.
Gripping the oars in her blistered hands,
A second flare shines far in the distance. Bethany pushes off the shore and rows
Acknowledged by the ship, Bethany away.

Mermaids Monthly Team 2022: Miyuki Jane Pinckard is a writer, game

designer, educator, and the co-founder of Story Kitchen Studio, a community for
exploring writing techniques. Her fiction can be found in Strange Horizons, Uncanny
Magazine, Flash Fiction Online, and other venues. She was born in Tokyo, Japan and
now lives in Venice, California, with her partner and a little dog. She likes wine and
mystery novels and karaoke. Follow her @miyukijane (Twitter and Instagram) and at
www.miyukijane.com.

Noelle Singh is a Surinamese Jamaican-American woman, born and raised in

Queens, New York. Noelle is a multimedia artist and baking enthusiast with a love
of nature, specifically the ocean. She graduated college with an art degree and double
minor in environmental science and media, society & the arts. While in college she
honed her writing, editing and photography skills and learned about social media
marketing and graphic design. She was also delighted to be able to earn her SCUBA
certification while studying coral reef biology and ecology abroad.

Vida Cruz is a Filipina fantasy and science fiction writer, editor, artist, tarot reader,
and conrunner based in Manila. Her short fiction and essays have been published
or are forthcoming from Fantasy Magazine, Strange Horizons, PodCastle, Expanded
Horizons, and various anthologies. Her first fantasy short story collection, Beyond the
Line of Trees, is available on Gumroad. Currently, she’s the new Assistant Editor at
Mermaids Monthly, a freelance book editor with The Darling Axe, and co-director of
BonFiyah under the larger umbrella of the Hugo-nominated FIYAHCON, a BIPOC-
centered convention for science fiction and fantasy readers and writers.

J.D. Harlock is a Lebanese writer and editor based in Marj’ Ayoun. He is the
social media manager of Mermaids Monthly and the Poetry Co-Editor at Solarpunk
Magazine. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram @JD_Harlock. 22
Yang
 by Ori Jay

Content Note: This story refers to and describes death by drowning

She builds monuments to grief along the rippling outward into the water where
silent ocean floor. their nameless figures fell.

Each fallen sailor a spire. Each drowned Sometimes, days and weeks will go by
ship a fortress. The dim landscape without a single soul finding a twisting
speckled with towers of slime and soil path down through the endless tides.
and stone.
And sometimes, when the sea is calm and
She gathers her masonry from the slick bursts of light break through, she will find
white cliffs, dotted with caverns and one who has not quite drowned. Limbs
caves. From the hollow skeletons of pushing, beating, straining against the
forgotten coral. From the earth, so far impossible weight of the water. Mouths
below, where the boiling sea meets the open and sucking in the strangling salt of
mantle of the world. the sea. Gaze locked on hers, begging and
pleading for rescue.
She plans. She shapes. And she mourns.
If she could save them, she would. And
Because the bodies, sucked down into the she has tried, oh so many times.
darkness from the churning waters above
— well, they simply never stop. She used to press her lips to theirs and
push the breath from her gills into their
Sometimes, the storms raging on waterlogged lungs. She used to heave
the surface capsize entire crews, and their sodden bodies across her shoulders
she spends months at a time toiling, and swim for the surface, thrashing her
constructing cairns in patterns that spiral, tail against the pressure of the icy depths
in the hopes that she might breach Their blood has gone cold. Their pulses
the surface in time. She used to pray slowed. All the air inside of them gulped
and plead with whatever gods might up by the thirsty depths.
be lingering in her forgotten realm to
spare just a few — hadn’t the hungry sea The only spark left is the reflection of the
claimed enough, for now? suffocated sun, echoing in their dying
eyes.
But it’s never been any use. By the time
they reach her, the waves have simply And so, day and night, the siren sculpts
taken them too far. an unending edifice, building monuments
to grief along the silent ocean floor.

Kickstarter, Year 2!
The Kickstarter for
Mermaids Monthly
2022 will launch
November 22nd, 2021.
Don’t worry, we’ll be
sure to send you the link
when it goes live. This
year our backing rewards
include cozy jellies,
jewelry, original art, and
much more!

The new team is hard at

work gathering the pieces
of January 2022 issue and
we can’t wait to share
more details. For now,
take a peek at some of the
backing rewards we’ve
been gathering and enjoy
the rest of this issue!

Jay
 by Umiyuri Katsuyama
Translated by Toshiya Kamei

This story originally appeared in The Fortnightly Review

Mind you, merfolks live in the mountains, done, I crouched down next to the
too, not just the ocean. Of course, they stream to rinse my lunchbox. Then a
need water to survive. Deep in the pair of piercing dark eyes peered out
mountains, streams gush forth and never of a deathly pale face. Oh, this must be a
freeze in winter. That’s where merfolks merfolk, I thought. Let me catch it. I spread
live. my tenugui out and scooped the creature
up. Once it was out of water, it let out
Toraibuchi was such a mountain stream. a loud shriek. Startled, I fell on my butt
Though nobody had seen such creatures. and let go of the creature. It was as large
The family who owned Toraibuchi as a human baby. It had a black and pink
enjoyed prosperity. Their mansion had scaled body like a carp and a human face.
an ostentatious gate like a temple’s. Razor-sharp teeth filled its mouth. It gave
Chirping birds perched on the wide, me the creeps. The creature leaped up
sloping thatched roof. They kept several and bit my wrist. It hurt like hell. I threw
horses in the barn. Their daughters wore it against the ground, stomped on it, and
red kimonos, and played with expensive- dropped it in the stream.
looking embroidered balls.
Look, the bastard left me with deep
When I was young, I worked for that teeth marks. After all these years, they
family. That year, snow never accumulated still throb when the weather turns cold.
even though the winter solstice neared. The following year, Japan entered the
To make my rounds, I began hiking in Pacific War. After the war, GHQ issued a
the morning. Around noon, I reached a directive on land reform, and the family
blue pool. I sat by the river and opened lost their mountain. Who knows what
my lunchbox. I gobbled rice with pickled happened to the stream?
vegetables and salted fish. After I was
 by Chinua Ezenwa-Ohaeto

All the weights in my body know my reflection.

Each poem I write reminds me that
my village river is a memory carrying my navel threads.
Please come close and feel this scar on my face,
feel how it marks me with evidence of my childhood.
My mother said the scar is a vase
where I can graph my questions and thoughts.
So much for what I think
about when I don’t understand certain things.
I open my mouth to take in the sky blessings
and thereafter arrange them as emblems stitching my wounds.
I want to essay down my thoughts on heaven and
those who know the secrets of its creation.
It’s such a big task knowing a thing and
finding the better language to say the known thing.
Every night I offer a can full of ablution to the mosquitoes:
rather they be on silence than play notes to my sleep.
― and I am no wicked fellow.
I am just a body asking for a peaceful night.
Have I told you how history is a delicate artifact?
To understand a thing is to understand God.
To understand metaphors is to understand poetry.
And yes, this poem is never about a thing.
And all the reflections in my body know my weight.
 by Stefan Slater
Edited by Ashley Deng

I never lost the habit of touching you

when you walked by, not even as the feel We never fought. But it got heated,
of you split and sloughed off beneath my because I couldn’t understand how you
fingers. Mostly because I didn’t want the didn’t know.
song in your shoulders, hands, and neck
to leave without saying goodbye, even “Your dad never told you anything?”
when you whispered that you’re right
here. “Why would he?” you said, crossing your
arms. You were only twelve when the
We started going to house showings as curse took your mom. She’d known and
soon as the scales began to shimmer never said a word about what swam in
under your skin like oil on water. You her blood. You remembered the big fight,
wanted a ranch-style house with a yard them arguing, him yelling and throwing
so when we got a dog, it could run. dishes, your changed mother begging,
Our new home had to be on the water, wailing for you both to stay, her claws
obviously, so once the curse hit, you could raking wallpaper. He threw you in his car
come and go easily. and sped off to a desert motel, far from
water as possible. A neighbor saw your
I was searching on my phone, both of us mother crawl into the nearby river. She
on the couch, looking at listings, when I never came back. Never sought you out.
asked about the curse. “Is it a freshwater
or saltwater thing?” We had to be more No sure thing you’ll end up like her,
specific for the realtor’s sake—can’t afford your father said, always finishing that
anything beachside. declaration with a sharp grimace. Made
sure you never had swim lessons too.
You shrugged. “No clue.”
“Doesn’t matter where we live,” you said, idea about the origins, but all you knew
peeling skin from your knuckles, revealing was that it hit when she was an adult.
scales like dimes. “Scales, gills, pointy teeth. The works.”

Tears came most days. You sobbed “Webbed toes?”

and heaved when your body began to
shatter and snap without a choice; you “I think so.”
cried when you woke up shrieking from
nightmares about black waves dragging “When will it happen?”
you down into silt like smothering velvet.
Right then, though, there were no tears— “Might not ever happen.” You waved me
just slumped exhaustion, flaking skin, off, finishing your drink. “But if it does,
bloodshot eyes, lonely silence. it’ll be years from now. Like my thirties
.”
“It matters,” I said, reaching for your
hand. “For us both.” I let it go because it felt far away. Because
I didn’t know what we were then.
We found a townhome next to a creek, Because you made me laugh. Because I
which fed into a marsh. When we opened couldn’t wait to make you smile. Because
the windows, you could hear frogs thinking about the next movie we might
croaking. watch together, what we might have
for breakfast together, felt better, more
important, anyway.

It was long before we were married when

you told me. We’d been dating a month
and we were sitting on the couch in my I helped you prepare what you were
cramped apartment, drinking cheap wine, going to say to your boss. “One, this is a
watching a show about swamps. The genetic issue, not your choice. Two, you
narrator talked about how alligators rolled don’t need extended leave, just some time
when they bit to rip apart their prey, and off until you shift human. A week tops,
you said that might be you some day. right?”

“An alligator?” “Sure. Yes,” you said, trying to sound

confident.
You laughed, spilling wine. “No, I don’t
think so.” I made sure the freezer was stocked with
shrimp, tilapia, and some salmon for
You talked about your mom’s curse: no special occasions. I started swimming

Slater
again at the gym, even though I knew I’d
be slower than you. I stayed in the yard, thinking you’d be
quick. I fell asleep, right on the grass.
When we couldn’t sleep, the two of us
staring at the blank ceiling, I talked to Sun woke me up, and all I saw was still
fight the quiet. There were specialists, water. Then your head, those saucer eyes,
I said, that could find cures for broke the dark surface.
everything—even curses.
“I need more time,” you said.
“Insurance won’t cover that,” you said,
glancing at me in the dark. “Is it fun?”

You were still having nightmares, still You grinned, dagger teeth shining. “It
dreading the nauseating pull of algae- feels like home. I can’t believe it. I had no
choked water. You wouldn’t close your idea.”
eyes. I couldn’t think of what to say, so I
asked about your mother. “Good,” I said, yawning.

“Where is she you think?” “Go back inside. I’m fine, really.”

You touched my hand. “I like to think “How long will you be?”
she found something good out there.
Something worthwhile.” I don’t think you heard. You dove under.

I squeezed your fingers. “Maybe you’ll I watched the water flow sluggishly. You
find something good in the water too,” I didn’t splash back up. Something low
said. crawled through me. I felt a need to say
goodbye. Almost as if I wasn’t going to
see you for a long time.

I’d read online that there might be pain, Mosquitos whined. Frogs sang. Once I
vomiting, even blood. But it was easy for started to feel my arms getting sunburnt,
you. We stood in the backyard, listening I stood up.
to the frogs. Moon came up, I blinked
once, and the change was over. I walked back inside and looked over my
shoulder at the black water.
Shimmering scales, webbed toes, gills.
You splashed into the creek, resurfaced, I know you’ll be right back.
and laughed. I did too. You swam for a
moment and went under.

Slater
 by Csilla Kleinheincz

Translated by Bogi Takács

This story originally appeared in Hungarian in the collection Nyulak – Sellők –

Viszonyok.

The sea droned on. A long time ago, I starlight. I pulled down my headphones.
used to think the ocean would gurgle like
river brooks, and only the magnitude of “Can you hear it?” he repeated.
the noise would be different, gargantuan;
but its size distorted all sound. It moaned “What? The sea? Sure.”
like a greeting issuing from the mouths of
a thousand caves. When I’d first heard it “Not the sea. Them. Their song.”
as a kid sploshing around in shorts, it had
terrified me. “Them – you mean the whales?”

The audio I was getting wasn’t clear, some “The mermaids.”

kind of scratching noise was mixed in
with it. I twisted the knobs to get rid of
the distortion.
I seldom saw Uncle Marlon; I spent only
“Can you hear it now?” The words barely every second or third summer at his
made it past my headphones. place, and on Christmases it was his turn
to visit. He lived in a lighthouse – a true
I looked up at my uncle. He was sitting wonder for me, a boy growing up on a
in the back of the boat, his hand on the steady diet of pirate stories. Among all
engine crank, and he bent forward closely, my relatives I visited in the summer – and
staring at the device glinting in the thanks to my prolific grandparents, there
were many of them – it was at Uncle stories; whenever he told me tales as the
Marlon’s place where I felt the strongest light of the beacon pulsated in the dark,
that I could just reach out and touch a tales about mermaids, ghost ships, or the
world I had only known from books. drowned, I felt that I was taking part in
something magical. But then the sun rose,
The tiny cottage next to the lighthouse and below the gray or – less commonly –
was lit with a ship’s lantern and we blue skies, my uncle turned into an old
slept in naval bunks. The machinery man with disheveled hair and patchy,
of the lighthouse with the powerful cracked skin on his knees. He wasn’t as
beacon and the wheels on which it old as he looked; he’d gone prematurely
rotated was constantly whirring and gray. Hard, snow-white stubble poked out
groaning. Barometers hung everywhere: from his face ruddy from the saltwater
in the bathroom, in the restroom, in the and the wind. Mornings, we didn’t have
stairwell of the lighthouse, in the lookout time to talk: he had his job to do, and
upstairs that was always flooded with I could go contemplate the seashore in
light, and also by the end of the small, quiet. We both had our lengthy silences,
rocky pier, on top of the piling. but their origin was different.

We ate out of cans, or we munched on He’d lived by the seaside from a young
fish and mussels I’d pried off the sharp- age. He used to race sailboats, but once
edged rocks with my pocket knife. I when he drove his tiny motorbike back
roamed the shore in my plastic flip-flops; to my grandfather’s house, he had an
I waded into the small bays surrounded accident and his knee had to be put back
by boulders, not caring if I scratched my together with titanium screws. After that,
feet. By the tall wavebreakers next to the he stopped competing; he only sailed
lighthouse, the water always came in around the small bay once in a while to
strong, its foamy-white murk obscuring check up on the buoys.
the sea life; the only way I could watch
the crabs skittering away was by peering He didn’t mind that the only way to town
through the bottom of a mason jar. led up a lengthy series of steps. Every
morning he staggered up the steps, unless
I loved the lighthouse, the constant wind, I’d asked him for something or other.
the desolate seaside. My uncle I liked Then he’d send me instead. “If you need
less. I didn’t know how to handle his that, go buy it yourself,” he’d say.
rough and abrupt charity, so I spent most
of my time wandering alone among the Both the stone steps and the iron railing
boulders. He didn’t know how to talk to were slippery. I always wondered how
me either; our days were spent in silence come he never fell. But he always opted
for the most part. But I enjoyed his for the steps, he never took his motorboat

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 around the cape to reach the port. “Them all right. In the nighttime, they
sing out there, in the sea.”
He wasn’t married. He didn’t have a dog.
“Have you actually seen them?” I raised
I hadn’t seen him in two years. I was my voice.
growing up. I started to neglect the
visits to my relatives; I’d rather go on He let go of the crank and lowered
vacation with my friends, take bike trips his fingers into the water. His yellow
or go rafting. Whenever I wasn’t on the fisherman’s coat was glowing pale white
road, I’d poke at the amps of our band in the dark.
in the makeshift studio in our garage.
Surrounded by cardboard taped to the “No,” he said curtly.
walls for sound insulation, we made noise
in cacophonous abandon, our music like I didn’t respond, still fiddling with the
the bellowing of the sea. knobs.

Uncle Marlon called me in the summer “I sometimes hear them, but only very
and asked me to visit. distantly, when I sleep in the lighthouse. I
can’t see much from the glare, and they’re
“Bring your recording equipment too,” he too far away for the beacon to spotlight
said. My mom had to have told him about them. But they’re there.”
our studio in the garage.
“Mmhm.”
I didn’t know why he needed it, but the
very first night we puttered out to sea “Everyone in town knows about them.
in the motorboat, and only the sudden Ask anyone!” He leaned away from me.
wind and rain chased us home in the end. “I hope they’ll be singing tonight too. At
We hadn’t gotten far: the beacon of the the full moon, they come closer to shore.
lighthouse winked at us through the fog They live out there, in the depths of the
of rain droplets like a giant moon. ocean, where the land isn’t visible at all;
they float there and swim… There are
only a handful of them. They sing, this is
how they call out to each other.”

“How do you know?”
“Mermaids?” I asked, rolling my eyes. He
didn’t notice my expression and answered “They have to be calling out to each other.
earnestly. You’ll understand how.”

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I finished adjusting the hydrophone and moaning of the sea became louder
lowered it into the water. It was a highly compared to when I’d been listening
specialized piece of equipment, I wouldn’t unaided. A buzzing, sometimes a wailing
have bought it for myself, but my uncle’d like foghorns in the distance, a barely
paid up without any complaints. audible chirping, a groaning… it took me
some time to realize that I had to have
Uncle Marlon was silent. I was sitting on been hearing the sea life.
the bare wood of the seat, staring back at
the shore. The boulders arose like a black My mouth felt dry from the cookies,
ribbon in the distance; in front of them, and the sweet flavor was uncomfortably
the bright pin of the lighthouse. satiating. I glared at my uncle. I wanted to
go home and lay down on my cot.
Its two eyes were blinking in turn as the
bowl-shaped base of the lights rotated. This was when I first heard the song;
The beacon didn’t reach the boulders it was almost sneakily quiet. At first I
further back: a sheet metal barrier blocked didn’t even realize what was happening
the beam, to prevent the reflections – I simply felt a sense of longing, and
from misleading incoming ships. Three only then did I notice the moaning slowly
small red lights glowed steady under the shaping itself into a melody.
blinking eyes. Above the cliffs, I could
see a faint cloud of light: the town, with I sat up in shock.
another smaller, unblinking beacon on its
periphery. My uncle only started hearing it a minute
later, his eyes widening, his bushy white
We were still near the shore; from time eyebrows quivering. He reached out to
to time, the beacon passed overhead, and me. He said something; I couldn’t make
our coats flared yellow. it out through the headphones, but I
understood what he’d meant.
In the boat between our feet stood an
unlit lantern, and a basket with a thermos “Record!”
and two bags of chocolate chip cookies in
it. I tore open a bag and started to snack I hastened to find the correct button to
on the cookies, while my uncle gazed press, started the recording. The tape
ahead rigidly; staring at the ink-black began to roll.
ocean, trying to see something, anything.
The song was becoming ever louder. I
I let him stare. I was cold. didn’t hear words, only some kind of
melodic wailing interspersed with the
I put the headphones back on. The sound of the water. It wasn’t a human

Kleinheincz
voice, and certainly not a woman’s voice. minutes, I reached out and turned it off,
It was a high-pitched, burbling-sighing then pulled the headphones down.
call, and yet it grabbed and twisted my
heart. It hurt. I wanted to be out there. “Did you manage to get it?” My uncle’s
voice had changed.
I watched the sea while the beacon
flashed overhead and lit the black “Yeah,” I responded in kind.
surface of the waves for a moment here,
a moment there. I couldn’t see anyone, The motor roared again. For one last time
anything. I suspected that they had to be we looked out toward the ocean, then
further away, and I leaned out of the boat. turned back toward the lighthouse. A
heavy sigh tore out of me, and we headed
The motor roared to life and I yanked back, toward the blinding lights, our port
my head back. For a moment, the song of call.
ceased. Uncle Marlon’s hand slipped off
the crank. His fingers were trembling. I
understood what was happening inside
him: he wanted to go, at any price, go I drove home. I threw the cassette tape
out to the deep ocean, lose himself in the onto the other seat in the old Ford I’d
song, in the waves, because maybe out bought from my wages the past summer,
there, he would be able to find whoever and then I left the rocky shore behind.
was calling him – and yet he couldn’t do
it. A few days later, I sat down and
transferred the tape onto my computer
We knew that the song was a trap. It so that I could remove the unnecessary
hadn’t been meant for us, we had no way noise. I didn’t have anything better to
of responding to it, and yet, and yet… do either way: Kathy had moved out two
weeks ago. I still hadn’t realized that I
Even though the voice didn’t sound like could go to the movies with someone
it belonged to a woman, I still felt that else as well. While I was working on
Kathy was calling out to me, that she the material, I deliberately didn’t listen
was right there within reach, that she’d to it from beginning to end – I only
returned. I longed to touch her. removed the hisses, the swishing of our
windbreakers, and the sounds of human
When the song ceased, I felt the cold activity that had reached us from the
wind bite my face where the saltwater shore. I left the melody alone; if I found
of tears had rolled along my cheeks. myself listening in, I pressed the forward
The tape recorder was busy registering button, sweat beading on my temples.
the moan of the waves. After long, long

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When I was done, I copied the cleaned and the water sloshed back into the sea in
material onto another tape and called tattered white fragments of foam.
Uncle Marlon.
I walked along the footpath, the duffel
“Will you bring it here?” he asked. bag and the sweater I’d knotted onto the
loops of its handles on my shoulder, the
I had enough time. Our drummer and our cassette tape in my pocket. The horizon
bass player had both left for Europe, and had a silver sheen and the sky was
it made little sense to practice without overcast. The well-worn green door of the
the two of them; Kathy also didn’t fill up tower was in deep shadow. The house was
my spare time any longer. She used to say crouching next to it, ringed by stunted,
I spent too little time with her, but now craggy bushes.
that she’d left, I was forced to realize just
how much time I had on my hands. All Uncle Marlon probably couldn’t hear me
this had been too little for her? knock, because he didn’t come to the
door. I stood on the doorstep for a while,
So I sat in the Ford again – with the tape, yelled hello, then opened the door. The
my cassette deck and my old sweater, house was empty.
headed toward the shore. All the way
there I listened to Ugly Kid Joe. The The living room looked as usual. I put
unmarked, black cassette remained down my bag, and with the tape still in
untouched on the seat. I don’t even know my back pocket, I stepped back out of
what I’d been so worried about: maybe the house. The wind ruffled my hair. I
that once I heard the song, I wouldn’t crossed over to the tower and hiked up
stop the Ford by the small town built the interior staircase.
on top of the cliffs, but rather drive on,
past the cliffs’ edge, and fly the gleaming As I was headed upward, my steps
car into the sea, trying to find the singer echoing, my gaze fell on the variously
underwater. shaped and ornamented pressure meters.
They all indicated low air pressure.
I took the steps leading down the seawall
two at a time. The iron railings were cold Above, something was making a loud
and slippery in my palms, smelling of scraping sound.
metal. The sun was already setting; the
lights painted bronze highlights onto the I hurried upstairs, past the vantage
stone surface of the lighthouse and onto point where the instruments of the
the sea. The reflectors weren’t running meteorological service were hanging, and
on full power yet. The wind was blowing, I stopped on the last stair, stunned. In the
smashing the waves onto the black rocks, small outlook by the reflector, two huge

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loudspeakers stood directed at the sea, it to him. “Why do you want to play it
behind them an amplifier and a tape deck. so loudly? I thought it was for your own
Cables snaked past on the stone flooring listening, every once in a while.”
stained by seagull guano, and then
vanished into the stairwell beyond my He chuckled nervously. “It’s going to be
feet. My uncle crouched by the amplifier, good for that, too. But today, I want to
fiddling with the dials. call them here.”

“What’s going on?” I asked him. “The mermaids?” I couldn’t hide my

skepticism.
Uncle Marlon turned around.
“But you heard them too!”
“Hello!” He stepped next to me and
hugged me tight. “So, have you managed “I don’t know what it was that I’d heard.
to bring the tape?” he asked with a forced It could’ve been anything.” I looked out to
smile. His mustache trembled from the darkened sea, the light of the setting
anxiety. sun glistening on the water like a silver-
filigreed veil.
“Yeah.” I put on the sweater. It was cold
up there. I pointed at the amplifier. “So “You’ll see,” said my uncle cryptically, and
this is why you needed it?” put the tape in the deck.

Uncle Marlon was silent for a while, then “Fine, I’ll see,” I replied. “I’ll go
he spoke. downstairs to make some tea. Want
some?”
“I know you think this is an eccentric
obsession. That’s all right. Remember “I’d take a coffee instead.”
when you polished snail shells all day
long? I gathered snails for you. So, this I hurried down the stairs. In the narrow,
is like that. This is my own eccentric cramped kitchen scattered with crumbs,
obsession.” it took me a long while to find the cheap
teabags. Their moldy smell turned me off
I shrugged. the idea, and I opted for the coffee too.
While the water boiled, I climbed back up
“And also,” he pointed at my chest, “you to the beam enclosure.
heard the song out there on the sea, too.”
“So where’s this interest from, anyway?” I
“Yeeeah,” I murmured, uncomfortable. I asked Uncle Marlon.
took the tape out of my pocket and gave

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He was standing by the railing, his “You never met my wife. By the time
gnarled fingers tight around the metal. you’d arrived, she wasn’t here anymore.”
When he looked at me, his eyes were
clear and melancholy. I sat up in the chair. The light rotated
blindingly over our heads.
“Bring that chair here!”
“You never told me you were married.”
He sat down with difficulty, stretched out
his injured foot. He gestured at me to sit This wasn’t what I wanted to say. I
opposite him. almost blurted out, “You, with a wife?”
and then I remembered how during the
“It’s more than a simple interest, son. Not family meals, my mom, dad and grandma
everything is out of order in here yet,” he had been discussing Uncle Marlon’s
tapped his temple. “I’m not an eccentric. lack of family ties. They all agreed that
I haven’t gone mad from loneliness – at a life of loneliness didn’t suit him, and
least not in the way you’d assume.” they whispered about some kind of high
school love affair that’d ended badly. I
I waited. was sure that if Uncle Marlon had ever
gotten married, the topic would’ve come
“You’ve surely been in love.” up at Sunday lunch. Mom called him on
the phone frequently enough; sometimes
I thought of Kathy. The way she’d said she even took the time to visit him.
goodbye, crying quietly, then at the last She would’ve noticed a change in his
moment slammed the door shut behind circumstances. I’ve seen this happen. She
herself. has a sharp eye for these things.

“And you believed you were truly in love.” “She wasn’t someone I could discuss.”

Guilt rushed through me. My throat He pulled threads from the hem of his
closed up. It’s more than just a belief, I checkered shirt, at a loss. Then he looked
thought. up. “I married a mermaid.”

“It’s like this with young people. They I made a quiet little sound, halfway
believe they’re truly in love. It lasts a between a sputter and a chuckle. I pushed
month, two at most. Still, they call it love. it down, but Uncle Marlon still noticed.
Well, Paul, it’s not.” His face twitched.

He fell silent, glaring at me. “Take your time to laugh while you still
can, soon you’ll see what I’ve been talking

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about,” he mumbled. “Until then, you happiness hovering within arm’s reach.
might as well listen to me, right? There’s I knew that hadn’t been the real thing
nothing to it, Uncle Marlon telling tales, either, and yet…
right?”
“No. I don’t think so.” I stood. “I’ll go
“Of course,” I muttered, feeling bad about check on the coffee.”
myself. There was no trace of madness in
his gaze. I went downstairs. There was a burning
smell from the coffeemaker – the rubber
“Well then,” he said, looking out to sea. might’ve caught a little. I prepared
The wind intensified, pulling the clouds the two cups, the spoons, slamming
over the waves. “I don’t know where everything onto the counter in anger. I
to begin. The water? The lighthouse? was upset about my uncle. Love isn’t like
The time when I was still young? Or that, I thought to myself, no! I pursed my
to the contrary, my old age? The way lips.
I floated through my life and believed
it’d be enough to turn on the reflector When I went upstairs and handed him
and someone would find me? I had been his mug, he mumbled thanks but didn’t
waiting for her… But when she’d arrived, continue the story, and I didn’t push him
I was already old, lame and ugly.” He took either. I ambled to the railing and leaned
a deep breath. “She got beached following against it, warming my fingers with the
the light, and couldn’t make her way back mug and watching how the waves ruffled
into the water. I found her. Her body was their backs and crashed into the rocks
snow white, her hair green and blue like with ever-increasing strength.
the sea. I...” His voice broke. “She stayed
with me. I loved her. She was mine only. “Let’s begin,” Uncle Marlon murmured
She didn’t belong to anyone else.” He almost apologetically. I didn’t turn
closed his fingers, dropped his gaze. “She around.
was with me for two years. Then she stole
back her braid and swam away…” The coffee burned my tongue, but I forgot
about it as soon as the song began to play.
He stood from the chair with difficulty.
The amplifier added a slight resonance.
“That was when I realized what love The sound of pain flowed through me; I
meant. An obsession… an emptiness… a felt it trembling in my bones, then it left
desire to consume the one who belongs to me behind, floated out to sea. I felt as if
you.” it’d grabbed my heart and carried it to
scatter its pieces across the waves.
I thought of Kathy, that kind of easy

Kleinheincz
It wasn’t only loneliness that resounded light pulsed and vibrated on the waves.
within, but also a deep, secretive The sight of it made my head hurt.
acceptance and resignation, as if the song
had made anchor inside me, delineating Uncle Marlon muttered something. I
the solid rock bed of my self. I felt a leaned closer, assuming he was talking to
kind of wisdom flowing within it, and a me.
triumph over melancholy. I stared at the
roaring waves, confounded, unable to “Come back! Come home! I am so lonely
assimilate all this at the same time. It was without you...”
as if I hadn’t heard a song but a thousand
individual thoughts. My coffee cooled in His whining bothered my ears. I turned
the mug. away from him, but he yelled at me.
“Paul!”
Strongest was the call. I knew I couldn’t
move any closer, but still, my whole body I whirled around. He pointed at the water.
ached from the desire to dissolve in the
music; I wanted to rip off the front of the In the distance, pale white fish jumped
speaker and find the singer inside the out from among the waves – or were they
machine. dolphins? I strained my eyes to see better,
but it was dark, and the flashing beam of
Uncle Marlon leaned past the railing. His the lighthouse made everything decohere.
face was wet, his eyes staring at a point in
the distance. Then Uncle Marlon pushed away from
the railing and rushed toward the stairs.
“Can you see it already?” he turned I remained, straining my eyes to see the
sharply toward me, his voice louder than approaching figures. They swam fast,
the singing. jumping over the frothing foam again and
again, splashing back down. Four backs
“See what?” lifted out of the black waters, eight slim
arms glistened in the light of the beacon.
“Them! Her!”
The mug wobbled in my hands. They
His hungry gaze chilled me to the bone. weren’t dolphins at all.
I chugged down the oversweetened,
lukewarm coffee, and shook my head. “I I headed down the stairs. The loudspeaker
can’t see anyone.” trembled with the vibrations of the song.
Downstairs, I came to a halt in Uncle
The music swelled, and it was as if it’d Marlon’s small studio, couldn’t help
even disturbed the reflectors: the white looking around for a moment.

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I was seeking traces of a woman’s touch, “There!” my uncle pointed toward the
keepsakes, anything that would’ve hinted sea. Tears rolled down his cheeks, wet his
at a long-gone wife. I still had a bunch of white beard. He was tense from nerves,
Kathy’s things. She’d told me over the from the waiting. “She’ll come back! And
phone that she’d come pick them up, but this time I won’t need her braid…” Was
I still had her toothbrush, her dog plushie he laughing? “This time around, she’ll
and her rabbit slippers – on my bathroom stay with me. Her song is here.”
shelf, my bed, my doormat.
The music unfolded above us,
I couldn’t see anything but well-worn heartrendingly beautiful. I was sure that
men’s clothes, a fishing pole, some the entire ocean could hear it, and it
seashells – and the windchime which I’d would summon dazed fish, draw them in
made from snails’ shells polished flat. our direction. This call also yanked at my
The small safe in the corner was ajar, its chest. If Kathy had a song, it would’ve
lock damaged long since. Uncle Marlon sounded like this one: full of joy, but
filled it with cheap smokes and chocolate somehow devoid of hope.
bars. Old magazines lay on the table, and
lemon slices floated in a dinged glass By then I could see the figures quite well.
pitcher full of homemade lemonade. They were women, their bodies gleaming
white, their arms arcing up and down,
I shook my head. I wouldn’t have minded slicing the water in clouds of water drops.
noticing something – after I had seen the They swam as if they could not see the
swimming figures, I would’ve welcomed rocks ahead, as if it would have been the
the smallest sign demonstrating I hadn’t same to them whether open sea or sharp
lost my mind. rocks lay ahead. But when they glanced
up and noticed us in the jagged light of
I put on my windbreaker and stepped out the beacon, they came to a halt.
of the lighthouse. The soggy wind slapped
me in the face right away, saltwater bit my They were so close that I could make out
eyes. I buttoned the windbreaker and ran their features. Their eyes were enormous
to the shore where the dark silhouette of and dark, their lips vaguely blue. On three
my uncle stood like a new addition to the of the faces I saw surprise, annoyance –
boulders. but the mouth of the fourth one spasmed,
twisted downward in a frown.
He was standing on the very edge of the
water. The waves licked at his rubber “Come here!” Uncle Marlon yelled at her.
boots, drawing back only to pour over his “I have been waiting! I’ll fix everything,
feet once again. I promise! Just come… I missed you…
Why did you leave? I love you!” Emotions

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distorted his bristly face. summers I’d spent here, to demolish the
respect owed to my mother’s brother, I
I looked back at the mermaid who arose didn’t want to know what had happened
waist-high from the water. Her breasts between the two of them during those
were small and pointy. She glanced at my two years. Where did the mermaid
uncle – I took a step back, disturbed by live in the lighthouse and in what
her gaze, even though I hadn’t been its circumstances? Why did her unhappiness
target. It was full of sadness and reproach, turn into such horror plain on her face?
bearing no trace of love.
I turned around and ran back up the
The mermaids approached with small, stairs, tore the door open, crossed the
jagged motions, in sharp contrast to their room, and headed up to the reflectors,
previous graceful swimming. At first I enclosed in the sweat-filled heat of the
didn’t understand what was going on, but wet windbreaker. I developed a side
then I realized: the song was still calling stitch by the time I reached the top; I fell
out to them, and they had to obey it out into the vibrating, fluctuating light
against their will. gasping for breath.

The first mermaid covered her face and For a moment I grabbed things in a panic,
wailed, her tone mournful. half-blinded from the sweat in my eyes
and from my agitation, looking for the
“Come here already!” Uncle Marlon tape recorder – but I finally found it and
yelled, impatient from desire. turned it off. The sudden silence bent
my shoulders, and when it reached a
I beheld his bent-over frame, the way he deafening pitch, only then did I notice
beckoned his wife, his arms reaching out. the sound of the wind and the waves. The
His fingers were trembling. Suddenly song still reverberated from the surface of
I was certain I’d had enough. I could the water, but even its last murmurings
feel the call of the song streaming from vanished as I removed the tape and
the lighthouse, the artificially amplified shoved it into my pocket. I staggered to
power; I was sure that the mermaids the railing and looked down.
could sense it better than I could, and
they couldn’t do anything about it. I The mermaids were almost to Uncle
glanced back at the first mermaid, who Marlon. The old man was knee-deep in
stared at my uncle in horror, her hands water, weaving against the tide, his hands
covering her mouth. outstretched to reach his wife. But the
snow-white fish women turned around
I didn’t want to see his gaze, I didn’t all of a sudden, dipped underwater and
want it to destroy all the calm of the vanished in the foam. Their tails frothed

Kleinheincz
the dark water as they moved rapidly over the roar of the wind and the sea, but
away from shore. I didn’t wait for his response. I hurried
toward the path and the steps leading up
I couldn’t understand Uncle the seawall, hastening my steps so that
Marlon’s words, but I could sense his he wouldn’t be able to hold me back.
overwhelming desperation. I saw him The cold was starting to snake under the
wade a few steps further in, then slowly windbreaker, and sweat iced my back. By
lower both arms. the time I reached the top of the cliffs, I
couldn’t wait to get into my car and turn
I could only feel disgust and pity. I still on the heating. Only when I was already
saw the face of the mermaid in front gasping for air in the Ford did I realize
of myself. I stumbled to my duffel bag, that I didn’t even check if Uncle Marlon
picked it up and swung it over my had gone back into the lighthouse. I
shoulder. I looked around the enclosure didn’t get out. I drove to the closest fast
saturated with light from the beacon, then food place and sat there until midnight.
I headed down the stairs. Then I drove home and listened to Ugly
Kid Joe all throughout the long trip,
When I stepped out the door, Uncle washing the song of the sirens from my
Marlon was tottering in. When he saw me ears.
with bag on shoulder, he froze and anger
crossed his face. I forestalled him. When I got home and opened the door,
the first thing my gaze fell on was the pair
“This is not how it’s supposed to work,” of rabbit slippers. I threw down the duffel
I said. “I’m sorry… Really, I am. But it bag and just stared at the stupid slippers.
doesn’t work this way.” Later, I called Kathy.

“You know nothing!” he snapped at me. “Oh my God, do you know what time
He was shaking from exhaustion. “How it is?” she protested, her voice mushy.
else could she have returned to me? I love My heart ached, and the thought flashed
her! You don’t understand anything! You through me that I still had the tape, and
have no clue about love!” if I played it to her over the phone, maybe
she’d sense the summons and return to
I looked him over, his worn and bone- me. Maybe she’d stay with me.
tired shape, and my throat closed up.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I fell silent for a
“Maybe. But you don’t have one either. while, then I blurted it out, afraid she’d
We should be ashamed of ourselves.” disconnect the call: “Kathy, you loved me,
right?”
I didn’t know if he’d heard my words

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A moment of silence. respond, she softly sighed into the phone
and broke off the call.
“Fuck,” she said in a forced whisper. “Is
that why you called?” I put down the receiver. My hands were
shaking. I sat on the sofa, peeled off my
“I just wanted to know.” windbreaker and pulled the tape from
its pocket. A few fragments of song were
“Jesus Christ,” she groaned at me sleepily. still buzzing in my ears, but it was also
“Are you sure you want to be having this possible that this prickly longing feeling
conversation right now?” was tossing and turning around inside me
for a whole other reason.
I waited a bit.
I saw Kathy step forward from the empty
“I don’t have the stomach for this,” she bedroom, her eyes open wide.
said, grumbling. “Does it matter whether Tomorrow, I thought. Tomorrow I’d play
I loved you or not if it’s all gone?” Her her the song.
voice arced high, but when I didn’t
 by Melanie Jayne Ashford

You might think mermaids belong physiology, the ethereal quality of merfolk
in a fantasy novel, but to people like seems to resonate with those of us
me, they’re symbols of difference and who are different. Mermaids are clearly
diversity. Mermaids are almost always half-designed to function similarly to
seen as beautiful and agile, despite their regular human beings, but they can’t
noticeable physical differences, and for move around the land in the same ways.
many of us, this reflects the beauty of However, they are perfectly designed to
being disabled or ‘different’ in some other move around their underwater world,
way. and for me, at least, this is a metaphor
for being differently-abled, as opposed
I live with moderate hearing loss, to disabled. The Little Mermaid is a classic
which requires hearing aids, and I’m a example. She is differently-abled than
demisexual lesbian. I often feel like I’m the humans she admires so much, and
something odd or different that no one although her body moves beautifully
else really understands. Sometimes I around the water, she can’t move very
think there is no one else in the room elegantly on land. Unfortunately for Ariel,
even remotely like me. It can be isolating she traded one disability for another in
and confusing. trading her tail for her voice.

As a fan of fantasy and science fiction, it’s Mermaids and other fantasy characters
easier for me to connect with characters also represent the LGBT+ community
who are vastly different than the average quite well. This is even more pronounced
human being, such as aliens, werewolves, in the token alien or mermaid characters
and mermaids. In addition to the differing in otherwise generic casts. Token
‘different’ characters represent the Another way I feel mermaids represent
difference I feel as a queer woman. They queerness and disability is in sexuality.
stand out, are markedly different than Most heterosexual men find lesbians
others but also mostly the same, and you appealing, and they seem to forget that
can often see the subtle nuances in how this revolves around two real women in
people around them react to them. It’s a meaningful relationship. People tend
almost as if mermaids make the invisible to forget that members of the LGBT+
differences in queer sexualities and community, and indeed, people living
invisible disabilities (such as deafness with disabilities, are actually human
or neurodiversity) visible. This gives beings. Nevertheless, human beings
people like me a more tangible method have sex, even when their orientations
of understanding and accepting our or abilities are different. ‘Normal’
differences. people overlook this fact, just like we
overlook mermaids swimming around
Further, since there is no evidence in the waters below our feet. However,
that mermaids exist, and in books and like lesbians, mermaids are typically
films, they typically hide from human sexualized, so in our differences, we are
sight, creatures like mermaids are now desirable. Despite this being highly
essentially invisible. Invisibility is a hot unfair, it seems like the norm. Mermaids,
topic in both the disabled and LGBT+ like lesbians, are sexualized on the one
communities. Sometimes that’s because hand but desexualized on the other.
we feel invisible to people who matter, For instance, they have no genitals, but
like politicians, doctors, and lawyers, and hyper-sexualized breasts, so it’s almost
sometimes it’s because the differences we as if people can’t decide if they’re ok with
have are invisible. However, mermaids are lesbians or not, or maybe they’re only ok
a myth, and people living with disabilities with it on their own terms.
are very real. Perhaps it’s easy to think
of ourselves as mythical since that’s how Most hate crimes towards the LGBT+
plenty of non-disabled people view us. community or people living with a
It’s easy for a non-disabled person to disability are committed because of fear
forget that people with disabilities exist, or ignorance. Mermaids represent the
especially if they don’t know any. If you unknown, which is often something
don’t have to interact with us, you can people are afraid of. The unknown, in
so easily forget we’re here at all. We turn, means a lack of education, which is
become just something you hear about on a significant cause of attacks on LGBT+
the news every once in a while, but not people or people living with disabilities.
something that makes up a genuine part So far, only 5% of the ocean has been
of your real world. explored, so the sea still holds many
mysteries. There is an awful lot the

Ashford
average person doesn’t know about harder for things other people find easy.
disabilities, sexuality, or gender, and
many people find this frightening. Having a difference, such as a disability
Unfortunately, this often leads to hatred or a non-heteronormative identity, also
and lashing out. makes you stand out like a sore thumb,
sometimes, so it can feel like you’re a fish
However, there are some positives to swimming around with sharks. However,
being ‘different’ like a mermaid. People if you can survive this, it gives you a
living with a disability have different range of skills and personality traits that
skills to bring to the table, such as being are desirable to both you and the people
more innovative, being more resourceful, around you. And who wants to be yet
and having a higher level of emotional another shark, in a world full of sharks,
intelligence. Members of the queer anyway? The more random, differently-
community also have higher maturity abled, LGBT+ fish there are in the ocean,
levels, and we tend to be stronger the better.
emotionally. Most of us have had to
stand more than our fair share of abuse Both my disability and my sexuality
and unkind comments, so we have more are invisible, but they physically exist,
resilience than most. Society as a whole the same way a mermaid beneath the
would do better with more of us around, waters does. You can’t see her, you don’t
as we learn a lot through having to fight understand her, but she is there.

Ashford
 by Felicia Martinez
call me the woman with skin of stone
the statue-armed woman
the ichthyosaur
a woman with scales on her heavy-set thighs
swaying sweet as sea foam on the tides

call me the woman with pearl husks in her hair

call me piscine-boned
call me barnacle-shelled
my breasts are rough shod in gray coral sheathes
like smoked quartz
like new diamond

call me the woman of plaque-skin and brine

call me paddle-hands
call me fish-fleshed, fin-spined
call me sea monster
call me all

I have known and bear them all

small fantasies next to mine
of stone talons that guard the sea

I am Siren’s daughter

call me mermaid
call me undine
divine
call me the woman that walks on water

50
 by Kathryn Kania

Content Note: this story includes medical trauma and the commodification of disabilities

This is you. an ectodermal ridge malformation, they

became known as mermaid children and
Long brown hair and eyes to match, with then as they aged, just mermaids.
olive skin and a smile that takes up a large
portion of your face when it appears. Your The first known baby was born in Japan,
fingers are long, your belly is soft, your but it was rumored that there had been
laugh is loud so you don’t laugh often. more before that, quietly hidden, never to
You find it a bit embarrassing. You don’t reemerge. The first month, there was fear
like attention. From the waist up, you are and a scramble to cure. Limbs cut open,
“normal” but from there down, you are a legs sculpted, forced into shape, but flesh
mermaid. did not regrow. Feet reconstructed but
unusable. So much physical trauma that
You are one of 35,000 babies born over many did not make it. Those that lived
a three month period of time with a rare through their various surgeries did not
lower limb deformity. This condition succeed in becoming the average baby
causes the skin of both legs to fuse their parents had hoped for.
together and toughen up as well as
causing a thinning of the feet, forming a In the second month, much had been
flexible, fibrous appendage at the end of figured out. It was better to keep the legs
your legs. Though medically, individuals as is, keep the feet, which look like fins.
born like this were said to have had a hox The chances for survival skyrocketed.
gene error that occurred in utero causing Parents worried that their children would
have a harder life, but they at least knew jobs, starting families. Some of the kids
their children would have a life to live. An from the third month become specialized
interest grew surrounding these children. therapists for the rest of you. Finding a
Mermaids, actual and whole, here before mermaid-informed therapist is hard. And
us. These babies are the lucky ones. of course, no buildings really adjusted
for mermaids. Hell, there were people
This is you. A lucky one. that use wheelchairs before the mermaid
children came along, why would anything
In the third month, disdain and adjust just because of a few babies born
avoidance. Many fetuses were tested over a three month period. But you find
in the womb and aborted. Many of the places that you fit, if you don’t mind the
families that gave birth gave the children questions.
up to care houses, specially designed to
raise these children. It’s a burden to raise You find a place you fit, if you ignore the
a mythical creature, after all. Who expects looks.
a mermaid?
It helps that the community is close-
You are now 29. There have been no knit. Spaces on the internet to meet up
other mermaid children born since and chat. Big cities have in-person hang
those months almost three decades ago. outs. There’s even a yearly meet up for
No scientist has been able to explain everyone with scholarships for those who
the emergence or the disappearance of can’t afford to travel.
this phenomenon, either. There is no
throughline; it hit all races, genders, many Many of you try to squash rumors that
different countries. Some of you have not those of you with tails and fins are
made it this far. But some of you have better in the water. That really, you truly
truly thrived, somehow. are mermaids. It makes the stares, the
objectification worse. But you can’t deny
The world is still curious about you. how wonderful you do feel once you’re in
There have been documentaries. the ocean with your friends. That’s why
Some of you have become influencers, the convention is always at a beachside
documenting your entire lives on the hotel.
internet. Millions of people watch videos
of a few mermaids. The ones of them The ocean feels like coming home.
swimming perform best. There is a hot Splashing feels like talking. When you
debate over whether this is good for the smile, it feels genuine, amongst people
community or not. who truly understand you.

Some of you avoid the spotlight. Finding This is you. Belonging.

Kania
You always talk about buying a house words on the page, what the person who
nearby, with a bunch of you living wrote them truly meant. You find this
together in it. Forgetting the outside easiest. To take something someone else
world, just being happy together. Nothing created and make it better. You’re good at
much ever comes of these chats, but still finding the intent in things. Secretly, you
you dream about it. think this comes from years of watching
those around you as they pretended to not
Then you go home. watch you. You had to find who intended
well and who did not.
It can be tough, that period of
readjustment, remembering how to talk This is you. At peace.
to non-mermaids. How to fit a public
smile onto your face. But eventually, you Sitting in your office, as the sun sets
always do. Your hair smells of saltwater around you, you type away, listening to
for a month, that usually helps calm you soft music.
down while you remember how to dodge
the uncomfortable questions. Everyone so Your phone rings, an hour past when
concerned about how, exactly, you fuck. you told yourself you’d stop and make
food. Still, you swear as it breaks your
Then one day, an invitation arrives in concentration. But it’s Daphne. You
the mail. A museum. One dedicated to always pick up for Daphne.
oddities. You roll your eyes. Museums
aren’t usually the most accessible. They’re “Did you get the invite?”
very dry inside, for one thing. Your tail
(you think of it privately as a tail though Your mind scrambles. Invite. Birthday? Is
you refer to it as your legs in public) has the convention coming up? What did you
skin that needs moisture most of the miss?
time. The dry museum air cracks the skin.
“Uhm…” You try to fill the silence as you
You put the invitation on your fridge clutch desperately for information.
with a magnet, thinking you’ll get to
it later. You’re hungry and have things “To the exhibit. About us. At that oddities
to do. There are a few editing projects museum.”
you’ve been putting off. So you make tea,
disappear into your office, and forget all Ah. Right. You had already forgotten
about it. about it.

The day flows past you like a river, you “Oh yeah, I did. Why, is it actually
find a rhythm, teasing out the best in the something I should pay attention to?”

Kania
Then your mind catches up. “Wait, about “So we’re not going?” you ask.
us?”
“Of course we’re going, they’re offering
Daphne sighs. She is forever patient. And free lunch!”
she has learned to recognize when you’ve
just been taken out of a state of perpetual You don’t really need convincing, you
work. really do just follow Daphne wherever.
Even if you didn’t, your curiosity
“Ok, go get food and I’ll tell you about it.” would end up winning out. You think
about yourself a lot. You’re your own
You’re heating up leftovers as Daphne hyperfixation, obsessed with knowing
tells you about the museum. They’ve where every thought comes from and
apparently had an exhibit on people with what slot it can all fit in. The chance
the hox genetic error for months now. But to see what a bunch of archivists and
because it’s in a building that does not scientists think of you is irresistible to
have elevators, it’s never been accessible that part of you. Daphne has never been
to the actual people they’re talking about. like that. She said that if she had answers,
There has been mass protest about this. it’d be less fun. She’s just going for the
free lunch.
You’ve missed out as you like to stay out
of activism. It’s not that you don’t care, So it is a week later that you both are at
but you just don’t like the attention that an airport and Daphne is fighting with
comes. You quietly donate to your friends, security. You duck behind your hand as
of course, but mostly, you keep your head people film her yelling:
down.
“Oh sure, I’m FAKING this. I really love
But now the museum is inviting all living the attention. I glued my legs together for
mermaids to come to an outdoor exhibit it, in fact.”
of the “Largest Collection of Information
Available On The Mermaid Children You’ve always wondered why people
Phenomenon” as a concession. think you’d lie about being a mermaid.
But you wonder a lot of things about the
“It’s bullshit,” Daphne swears in your two-legged humans that surround you.
ear as you bite into your dinner. “It’ll You doubt you’ll ever truly get satisfying
be temporarily outside and we get free answers.
admission, but it’s just an excuse for
others to gawk at us looking at our Eventually, you’re ushered through onto
freakishness on display.” the plane. You hate flying. Aisle chairs are
uncomfortable, the straps feel silly.

Kania
You’d rather use your arms and move like You both know that even though
Ursula on land towards your gate. When admission is free, the price is to be the
you lift yourself into the airplane seat, you exhibit for outsiders. It’s open for just
try to hold your tail as still as possible. mermaids today but there will be others
Daphne does not have this problem. She there. It’s outdoors, after all. It makes you
flops like a fish and then orders a drink. shudder to think about it.
You’re both in aisle seats, next to each
other. It’s just easier that way but it does Still, you dress well. A turquoise,
mean you can’t really talk until everyone’s shimmering button-down, with faux
on board and seated. black pearl buttons. A flowing wrap
around your lower half. Your hair slicked
When you reach your destination, the back and nails painted black. Daphne is
hotel is full of other mermaids. Not gorgeous, as always, in a crop-top and
everyone came, it was short notice and tight fitting, custom tailored denim.
also, as Daphne pointed out, a very You wonder, not for the first time, if she
distasteful event. But curiosity got the would ever be open to making out. Maybe
best of a lot of you. What exactly do you tonight you’ll finally get drunk enough to
look like to non-mermaids? It’s too hard ask.
to resist finding out.
As you arrive at the museum, there is
The event is the next day, early morning security. They usher the lot of you into
for you. Normal time for most people. two lines. Despite how many of you there
10 am. But you work from home and are, it goes quickly. Eventually, you’re into
deadlines are at midnight so you’ve the garden area.
gotten quite used to late nights. You stay
up late at the hotel bar, mingling with You’re struck by how impressive the
those you wouldn’t get to see for another setup is. Movable walls line the walkways.
six months otherwise. It’s not the same as Glass cases that you don’t even really
swimming with them, but it still relaxes understand how they got out here are set
your shoulders. up at intervals. Nothing looks slapped
together. In fact, it’d be hard to believe
Daphne wakes you up the next by this wasn’t the exhibit in the first place.
slapping you in the face with her fin. Daphne is already wheeling along towards
You hate when she does that. You groan, the first case but you stop and look at the
tasting last night’s alcohol in your papers framed on the walls.
morning breath.
It begins how you expected. The news
“Come on, time to go put on a show.” story of the Japanese baby, Mizu. You’ve
never met him but he does well enough.

Kania
Not one of the influencers, but he’s particularly new or interesting. All the
interviewed often enough by them that same old stuff, the same conclusions. You
you know his story well. And you’ve have a mermaid tail, no one is sure why.
seen him at the conventions a few times.
Daphne is acquainted with him. You’ve You come upon a large gathering.
never felt like bothering him with your Normally, when there’s this many people,
presence though. it can get quite loud. But there is only an
uncomfortable silence, you can hear as
Pictures of more babies as they are born. they shift, a squeaky wheel, a sniff. You
Some pieces of early papers on how to look up and see what they have come to.
try and find a cure, possible causes, etc.
You roll quickly past some of the more This is you. Strung up for the world to
gruesome pictures. Why anyone wants see.
to look at them is beyond you. Maybe it
makes sense if you were a doctor but in a A body, naked and plain. Pale skin, eyes,
museum? Yuck. probably glass, staring out at nothing. A
preserved mermaid. One of your own. On
More stories about more babies. Pictures display.
of families holding their newborns,
strained smiles. All stuff you’ve seen on Their tail hangs long below them, parts
the internet in a late night google search open and labeled. You are fascinated,
of your own self. Why would people staring. That is what you look like inside.
pay for what they could just search for? This is what you are, boiled down, bare
You’re glad your parents never allowed bones, exposed, truly.
themselves to be interviewed.
This is you. How they see you.
Daphne has already gotten lost in the
crowd. You’d figured she would. It’s A flash goes off in your periphery. You
nice, though, this crowd. You’re all at turn along with a few others. People
the same height. It’s sort of relieving to are watching you, taking pictures. They
not accidentally be looking directly into are watching you all look at yourself.
someone’s groin when you turn around. Suddenly your fascination turns sour.
As long as you ignore the people on the
outside of the garden fence and some of It’s a freak show. They want to see what
the museum guards, it feels like it could it’s like when they show a dead monkey to
be a world of just your people. other monkeys. You’re less than human in
their eyes. You’re just mermaids, mythical
Slowly you make your way through. creatures, less than them because you are
Perhaps it’ll be a quick visit. Nothing is different. Something to be marveled at

Kania
but not respected. You curl your lip and
sneer at the crowd of people standing and You are being carried away and so is the
looking at you from the other side of the mermaid who was on display. The chaos
fence. around you is deafening. You look around
and see Daphne, her smile wild and wide.
You knew that the world thought of
you as something strange, but to be Somehow, eventually you end up back at
commodified so blatantly is striking. the hotel, but it is still a rush. No one is
Have you really been hiding your head sure how much trouble you are all in and
in the sand that much? The fact that it is someone, somewhere is still carrying the
an oddities museum might have been a corpse. You get word that those who live
tip off but it didn’t feel weird to call you closest to the area, there seems to be a
odd. You are odd. A rarity. But this made small community here, have a van and are
you into a collector’s item. More than coming back to pick up as many of you
a curiosity, less than a sentient being. as they can. Others are simply calling in
Something snaps in your mind. favors. The influencers are livestreaming,
calling on their followers to get angry, to
Somehow, you make your way up to the create distractions for them.
glass of the case. The little plaque inside
says the body was donated by the parents. The hotel staff look scared. You feel
You wonder if the mermaid in there even adrenaline pumping through you. Daphne
had a choice. If this is what they would has your bags and you both book it
have wanted. Looking around at those of outside. The sun feels good on your face
you here, the look of horror on everyone’s and you realize that you are laughing.
face, you doubt it. Maybe the news tomorrow will be about
the mermaid riot. Maybe you’ll get
Before your brain catches up with you, arrested. Who knows. But there is no
you are out of your chair, using your longer a mermaid hanging up dead in a
arms to pull yourself up on the small museum. And you feel good.
gate in front of the case that keeps you
a modest distance away and with a swift You feel like you.
motion, you flip your tail over it and into
the glass. The sound surprises you. It is
both louder and more musical than you
expected. The guards try and reach for
you but the crowd behind you surges
forward and you are swallowed by them.

This is you. Lifted up by your siblings.

Kania
 by Cathin Yang

Child, before you go in search of spirits, have bound a spirit, you are beholden to
heed the rules. fulfilling their dying dream. Be cautious of
the ones that wish to return to solid land.
Seek the still waters. Some find their ways Do not fulfill a wish for a favor too small.
to the deep caves, but most remain in You hold their release into death, but they
the wood wreckage. They cling to what will hold your life until it is fulfilled.
is intact and what was once theirs. Be
careful you do not stir up too much as Know what you truly seek the spirits for.
you swim there. You will find other spirit Their wisdom is unparalleled, but they
hunters too, as well as the creatures of cannot answer or fulfill everything. Go
the deep. Not all will aid you. Many will with only your deepest truth.
harm you. Do not spill blood if you are
unwilling to shed your own. If you remain unafraid, then go. Seek the
still waters of the deep depths. May you
You must carry gold. The spirits are come back alive.
drawn to the soft metal. They hungered
for it in life and now even in death they
still crave it. Do not show how much you
have. Do not offer too much. Do not fool
them with false metal.

Be cautious in your obligation. Once you

 by Coral Alejandra Moore

As I plunge into the dark of the deepest my heart as I sing to them of my

place, I remember the words you desire, that I will do anything. I should
whispered to me when I sat at your knee. have heard that warning in your song, and
I remember the song that sought to match known better, but my grief was too new
the rhythm of the waves; it haunts me, and my pain too deep.
filling my head with a lilting melody and
words of warning. One soul for each of their souls. That was
the price. A soul to take their places in
I didn’t believe you then, that we were the deep dark and free them. I drag them
descended from creatures that swam down one by one, hearing the bubbles
those depths, that our time on the land of their silent screams as their breath
was fleeting, that someday we would escapes toward the surface.
return. I thought it was only a story.
I have too many left to go. I’ll never
It wasn’t until later that I knew the truth, manage it. I lose a tiny piece of me with
when you lay dying, holding my hand each one and there are not enough pieces
and staring up at me, your eyes wide that remain with you gone. I hear the
and frightened. I heard the waves at that spirits laugh when I know the truth
moment when they called you home of their trap. By the time I bring them
and I knew. Only when you lay still did I enough souls there won’t be any part of
remember the shipwrecks and the spirits. me that remembers you.

So I dive to the place I know only from I let the man go, watching him flail and
your song, clutching stolen gold in my kick for the surface. Distantly, I hear the
hand, only one wish in my heart: to see spirits calling me as I swim away. I leave
you again. I don’t know what the spirits the water, knowing I’ll never return. I
will demand of me, but it doesn’t matter. watch the waves and sing your song,
wondering if this is what happened to
And that is the truth they hear in you, too.
You dream of the cresting waves every night
As they arch overhead, with hands to drag you down
Sharp teeth and slit eyes, fins a pynoun
At the end of the lure lies a singular light

During the day you feel like drowning

The mucus in your lungs dark green, cloying and thick
Your movements become slow, anemic
To this nothing your life is quickly amounting

She is not beautiful, nor charming

But your days grow shorter, and those waves are calling
It might be nice to rest, stop stalling
Her fine hands wind in your hair, her smile disarming

This is the control you sought so long

A way to take matters into your own two hands
All it takes is to go into those hinterlands
Your body joins hers, flesh together, a song

Together one, sharing her vision

A new world opens, excitement a frisson.

by Elizabeth Kestrel Rogers

Ashley Bao is a Chinese-Canadian-American high school senior. Her poetry and short
fiction have appeared in Liminality, Strange Horizons, Cast of Wonders, and elsewhere. She
may sometimes be found looking at cute cats on Twitter @ashleybaozi.

Bogi Takács (e/em/eir/emself or they pronouns) is a Hungarian Jewish author, critic

and scholar who’s an immigrant to the US. Bogi has won the Lambda and Hugo
awards, and has been a finalist for other SFF awards.

Cathin Yang is a Taiwanese American writer living in Oregon with their spouse and
two cats. They enjoy traveling, creating props and costumes with their spouse, and
playing tabletop RPGs. This is their first published piece.

Chinua Ezenwa-Ohaeto (@ChinuaEzenwa) is from Owerri-Nkworji in Nkwerre,

Imo state, Nigeria and grew up between Germany and Nigeria. His works have
appeared in Lunaris Review, AFREADA, Poet Lore, Rush Magazine, Frontier, Palette, Malahat
Review, Southword Magazine, Vallum, Mud Season Review, Salamander, Strange Horizons, One,
Ake Review, Crannòg magazine, The Question Marker and elsewhere.

Coral Moore has always been the kind of girl who makes up stories. Fortunately, she
never grew out of that. She writes character driven fiction, and enjoys conversations
about genetics and microbiology as much as those about vampires and werewolves.

She has an MFA in Writing from Albertus Magnus College and is an alum of Viable
Paradise XVII. She has been published by Vitality Magazine, Diabolical Plots, and Zombies
Need Brains. She loves aquariums, rides a motorcycle, and thinks there is little better
than a good cup of coffee. As her most recent venture she is the co-editor and co-
publisher of Constelación Magazine, a bilingual speculative fiction magazine publishing
stories in Spanish and English.

Csilla Kleinheincz is a Hungarian–Vietnamese writer living in Budapest. She

translates fantasy and science fiction and is currently an editor at GABO, a major
Hungarian publisher. She is also founding editor of the online magazine SFmag (http://
sfmag.hu). She has four fantasy novels and a short story collection, and her short
stories appeared in English (Interfictions, Heiresses of Russ 2011, Apex Book of World SF 2,
Sunspot Jungle anthologies) and various European languages.
Elizabeth Kestrel Rogers is a California based writer of both fiction and nonfiction.
She graduated from the University of Edinburgh with an MSc in Creative Writing
and has since worked primarily as a nature/conservation writer. Her essays have also
been in The Mary Sue and Strange Horizons, while her fiction has appeared in Translunar
Travelers Lounge. Her poetry can be found in Strange Horizons and Kaleidotrope.

Elyse Russell enjoys writing short stories and graphic novels. Her first book,
Losing It, will be released with Cinnabar Moth Publishing in July 2022. She is
currently pitching several graphic novels. Follow her on Twitter @ElyseRussell13
(BraveLittleTeapotThoughts) for updates!

Felicia Martinez (she/her) is a Latinx author and educator living in the California Bay
Area. Her academic interest in the relationships between conceptions of personhood
and narrative experimentation carries over to her love of crafting non-traditional story
structures and points of view in fiction and poetry. When she is not leading seminar
discussions with her curious undergrads, she can be found trying to write under the
watchful eye of a cat named Bat.

inkshark is a scandalously queer illustrator, author, and editor who lives in the rainy
wilds of the Pacific Northwest. He enjoys exploring with his dogs, writing impossible
things, and painting what he shouldn’t. When his current meatshell begins to decay,
he’d like science to put his brain into a giant killer octopus body with which he
promises to be very responsible and not even slightly shipwrecky. Pinky swear.

John Picacio is one of the most acclaimed American artists in science fiction and
fantasy over the last decade, creating best-selling art for George R. R. Martin’s A Song
of Ice and Fire series, the Star Trek and X-Men franchises as well as over 150 book covers.
Major clients include Penguin Random House, Tor Books, Macmillan, HarperCollins,
Scholastic, Simon & Schuster, Saga Press, Pyr, Baen Books, Tachyon, and many more.
His body of work features major book illustrations for authors such as Leigh Bardugo,
Rebecca Roanhorse, Michael Moorcock, Harlan Ellison, James Dashner, Brenda Cooper,
Frederik Pohl, Mark Chadbourn, Sheri S. Tepper, James Tiptree, Jr., Lauren Beukes,
Jeffrey Ford, Joe R. Lansdale, and many, many more. His accolades include three Hugo
Awards, eight Chesley Awards, three Locus Awards, two International Horror Guild
Awards, the World Fantasy Award, and the Inkpot Award. He is the founder of the
creative publishing imprint, Lone Boy, which has become the launchpad for his
John Picacio cont. Loteria Grande cards, a bold contemporary re-imagineering of
the classic Mexican game of chance. In 2018, he became only the third person in the
history of the World Science Fiction Convention to serve as Guest of Honor and Hugo
Awards Master of Ceremonies at the same Worldcon, and the first Latinx to ever be a
Worldcon Guest of Honor. He is the founder of The Mexicanx Initiative. He lives and
works in San Antonio, TX.

Kathryn Kania is an author and librarian living in New England. You can find them
being bossed around by their tailless cat on most days. They believe that believing in
ghosts, aliens, demons, and mythical creatures simply makes life more exciting. You
can find them on twitter @Katykania or on Goodreads.

Marie Brennan is a former anthropologist and folklorist who shamelessly pillages

her academic fields for inspiration. She recently misapplied her professors’ hard work
to The Night Parade of 100 Demons and the short novel Driftwood. The first book of her
Hugo Award-nominated Victorian adventure series The Memoirs of Lady Trent, A
Natural History of Dragons, was a finalist for the World Fantasy Award. Her other works
include the Doppelganger duology, the urban fantasy Wilders series, the Onyx Court
historical fantasies, the Varekai novellas, and over sixty short stories, as well as the
New Worlds series of worldbuilding guides. Together with Alyc Helms as M.A. Carrick,
she is the author of the Rook and Rose epic fantasy trilogy, beginning with The Mask
of Mirrors. For more information, visit swantower.com, her Twitter @swan_tower, or
her Patreon at www.patreon.com/swan_tower.

Marisca Pichette is an author of speculative fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. Her

work has been published or is forthcoming in Fireside, Apparition Lit, PseudoPod,
PodCastle, and Uncharted, among others. Her debut novel, Broken, is forthcoming in
August 2022 with Heroic Books. A lover of moss and monsters, she lives in Western
Massachusetts.

Marlane Quade Cook is a former classical ballet teacher and visual artist; currently
an emerging disabled writer. She has written on her own disability: progressive
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), but her preferred genres are speculative fiction,
fantasy, and poetry. She has been previously published in Strange Horizons, Heroic
Fantasy Quarterly, Weirdbook, and Prohealth. Her short story, “The Gatekeeper,” was
Marlane Quade Cook cont. featured in Tangent Online’s Recommended Reading of
2019.

Proud of her Romani heritage, she honors the legacy of this marginalized and under-
represented ethnic group. She lives in Northwestern Montana with her husband, three
brilliant and beautiful children who also have hEDS, and the companionship of a
family of rabbits. Follow Marlane on her Facebook writing page: www.facebook.com/
inkyunkindness or her blog: https://inkyunkindness.wordpress.com

Melanie Jayne Ashford is a freelance writer from Wales, UK. She is a demisexual
lesbian and hard-of-hearing. Her home currently includes Kissy the tortoiseshell cat
and Ginny the French Bulldog puppy.

Miranda Leyson is a freelance artist based in Beaverton, Oregon. She has been doing
freelance art for the past three years, primarily focused on character art and comics.
Miranda just completed work on the indie comic series Decay (written by Randy
Fortunato) and is currently working on the creator-owned web series Winged.

Ori Jay (he/they) is a nonbinary Latinx writer, artist, and activist from Portland,
Oregon. Their visual art has appeared in exhibitions in Chicago, Denver, and Portland.
He is currently working on the book The Life and Times of Trans People for Microcosm
Publishing. They can be found on social media at @mxorijay.

Stefan A. Slater is a writer from Los Angeles. His work has appeared in Daily Science
Fiction, Mirror Dance, and The Arcanist. His website is stefanaslater.com.

Toshiya Kamei holds an MFA in Literary Translation from the University of Arkansas.
His translations have appeared in venues such as Clarkesworld, The Magazine of Fantasy &
Science Fiction, and Strange Horizons.

Umiyuri Katsuyama is a Japanese writer of fantasy and horror. In 2011, she won the
Japan Fantasy Novel Award with her novel Sazanami no kuni. Her latest novel, Chuushi,
ayashii nabe to tabi wo suru, was published in 2018. Her short fiction has appeared in
numerous horror anthologies in Japan.
Julia Rios (they/them) is a queer, Latinx writer, editor, podcaster, and narrator
whose fiction, non-fiction, and poetry have appeared in Latin American Literature Today,
Lightspeed, and Goblin Fruit, among other places. Their editing work has won multiple
awards including the Hugo Award. Julia is a co-host of This is Why We’re Like This,
a podcast about the movies we watch in childhood that shape our lives, for better or
for worse. They’ve narrated stories for Escape Pod, Podcastle, Pseudopod, and Cast of
Wonders. They’re @omgjulia on Twitter.

Ashley Deng (she/her) is a Canadian-born Chinese-Jamaican writer with a love of

fantasy and all things Gothic. She studied biochemistry with a particular interest in
making accessible the often-cryptic world of science and medicine. When not writing,
she spends her spare time overthinking society and culture and genre fiction. Her
work has appeared at Nightmare Magazine, Fireside Magazine, and Queen of Swords Press
and you can find her at aedeng.wordpress.com or on Twitter at
@ashesandmochi.

Meg Frank (they/them) is a Hugo-nominated artist based in New York. In the before
times they traveled a lot and spent a lot of time looking up in museums. Currently
they are keeping themselves busy with art school, two cats, knitting for their family,
and this magazine. They’re @peripateticmeg on Twitter.

Lis Hulin Wheeler (she/her) lives outside Boston with her spouse and child and
spends her days chasing mail carriers and citing obscure postal regulations.

Find her on Twitter or Goodreads and her work at Ninestar Press and The Future Fire.
She also serves as Fiction Editor and Logistics Manager for Wizards in Space Literary
Magazine (check them out!) and slushreads for various genre publications.