Best of friends and worst of enemies:

competition and collaboration in polygyny (1)

Author: Sangeetha Madhavan
Date: Winter 2002
From: Ethnology(Vol. 41, Issue 1)
Publisher: University of Pittsburgh, Department of Anthropology
Document Type: Article
Length: 8,077 words

Full Text:

Much of the scholarship on polygyny portrays it as harmful to women, noting in particular that it pits
co-wives against each other. Some feminists have used this characterization to associate polygyny
with the subjugation of women. However, other work has illustrated the collaborative nature of
polygynous relationships. Despite efforts to generalize about polygyny (as either competitive or
collaborative), it has become increasingly clear that co-wife relationships and women's experiences
with polygyny can only be understood within particular sociocultural and personal contexts. This
essay describes co-wife relationships in two ethnic groups in Mali, West Africa, to illustrate the
varying nature of polygynous unions and demonstrate that co-wives negotiate their relative
statuses within the domestic group through both competitive and collaborative strategies. The
research underscores the importance of cultural and socioeconomic contexts in determining the
relative value of collaboration and competition in polygynous households. (Polygyny, competition,
collaboration, feminism, Mali)

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Statements of two women in polygynous unions illustrate polar differences in attitudes about it. For
Aissata (age 44), a polygynous union can be humiliating.

If there is another woman, it is the first wife that suffers; now I am here only because of the children
not because of love for my husband; polygyny shows that your husband does not like you and the
whole village thinks that you are not a real woman.

But for Setou (age 33), it is comforting.

I get along very well with Koro [her co-wife]; I treat her like an older sister; I can talk to her about
anything, even pregnancy; if I have problems with my pregnancy, I tell Koro first, who then informs
our husband.

The case of Aissata lends support to the common notion that polygyny is essentially competitive
because it pits women against each other (Fainzang and Journet 1988; Meekers and Franklin
1995; Ware 1981). However, Setou's situation indicates how polygyny can foster collaboration
among women (cf. Abu-Lughod 1993; Steady 1987). Despite efforts to generalize about polygyny
(as either competitive or collaborative), it has become increasingly clear that co-wife relationships
and women's experiences with polygyny can only be understood within particular sociocultural and
personal contexts. Even among African women who live in patrilineal, patrilocal societies, attitudes
toward polygyny range from intense competition to collaboration. Using qualitative data from two
ethnic groups in the West African country of Mali, this study illustrates: 1) how co-wife relationships
are conditioned by social, cultural, and personal contexts; and 2) how co-wives negotiate their
relative statuses within the domestic group through both competitive and collaborative strategies.
The relative force of competition or collaboration among co-wives depends on factors such as
cultural attitudes about self-assertion versus consensus, sexual jealousy, reproductive competition,
individual personalities, and life circumstances.

COMPETITION AND COLLABORATION

The study of female competition and collaboration has gone through several distinct phases in
Western feminism. Before the rise of the women's movement, people commonly perceived women
as incapable of relating to each other except through competition (Pogrebin 1987). This view was
later challenged by feminist scholars who saw co-operation and friendship among women as
crucial factors in empowering them against male hegemony (Smith-Rosenberg 1975). Another line
of thinking on competition, however, concludes that there is a need and a place for competition in
the feminist ethos and that it need not threaten women's solidarity (Lugones and Spelman 1987).
The assumption that all women avoid conflict and are nurturing and egalitarian (Bardwick 1971) is
problematic not only across but also within cultures. Fortunately, there has been a steady
movement away from viewing competitive behavior as a deviance from a norm of collaboration
(Longino 1987). There is now a greater acceptance among feminists that the idea of a single
feminist ethos is not only unfeasible but also undesirable (Miles 1998; Steady 1987; Wolf 1996).

African and African-American feminists, while divided on the issue of polygyny, have unanimously
criticized Western feminism for its lack of familiarity with the plight of African women (Hudson-
Weems 1998; Miles 1998). Therefore, to make any statement about competition and collaboration
in polygynous relationships calls for a thorough understanding of women's economic, cultural, and
political circumstances. In short, they question the use of a Western agenda that focuses solely on
gender oppression as a guiding principle to talk about polygyny in the African context (Hudson-
Weems 1998). An innovative response to Western feminism rooted in African values was the
Ajanaku experiment (Ajanaku and Ajanaku 1998). Started in the early 1970s in the United States,
this group developed a set of sisterhood laws that included polygamous marriages in which all
women were taken care of by one man and all children were taken care of by all women. The
objective of the group was to offer women a new way of relating to other women (and to men)
whereby collaboration would supersede competition. Interesting as the effort was, other scholars
have stated that the destructive aspects of polygyny need to feature more prominently on an
African feminist agenda (Aina 1998).

Lamphere's (1974) cross-cultural study of relationships among women in domestic groups

proposes a theoretical construct that accounts for domestic power structures. She divides societies
into those which have highly integrated domestic and political spheres (e.g., the Navajo) and those
in which the two are clearly divided (e.g., the Kanuri in West Africa). In the former, where decision
making is centered in the domestic arena and authority is egalitarian, women do not have to
compete with one another for resources. In the latter, major decisions are made in the political
sphere usually by men, a condition that leaves little incentive for female collaboration. Lamphere
associates polygyny with the latter because domestic power and authority are in the hands of men,
though women can exercise limited leverage by "working through men." Women's interests never
coincide in such circumstances and the co-wife relationship is particularly conflictual because each
woman is attempting to build a uterine family at the expense of her co-wives' children. Where
conflict is minimized, there tend to be strict rules of domestic arrangement such as cooking and
sleeping rotations.
In many societies, the extent of collaboration among household members depends on kinship
patterns and norms about friendship. Although the worlds of kinship and friendship are often
mutually exclusive, they sometimes overlap. Rubin (1986:16) states, "The idea of kin is so deeply
and powerfully rooted within us that it is the most common metaphor for describing closeness."
However, Jerome (1984:696) points outs that "friendship as we know it is a luxury which cannot be
afforded in many structural situations." Age is a central factor in friendship formation. In general,
women who are closer in age share a more intimate friendship than women who have a substantial
age difference between them (Hess 1972; Walker 1993). In polygynous marriages, conflict tends to
arise when the husband favors the youngest wife (Meekers and Franklin 1995). One central feature
of this relationship is talking. In a study of American middle-class couples, Gouldner and Strong
(1987) highlight the importance of "Woman Talk," which is characterized by "mundane, ordinary"
topics such as shopping and child care. According to the authors, its popularity among women is a
result of its notable absence in spousal relationships. We find a similar phenomenon in several
African societies where co-wives look to one another to share experiences about childbearing, child
rearing, and domestic chores (Abu-Lughod 1993; Ware 1981).

The counterweight to friendship is jealousy. According to Eichenbaum and Orbach (1988), jealousy
is a product of envy. A woman feels jealous toward another when she feels deprived of rewards
and benefits given to another. Fainzang and Journet (1988), in their work on the Toucouleur of
Senegal, point out that jealousy among co-wives may result more from a desire for material goods
and less from a sense of emotional abandonment. Indeed, this is the case in Abu-Lughod's (1993)
ethnography of Bedouin women in which the author highlights intense conflict among co-wives
brought about by one wife receiving many more material favors than the others, and in Potash's
(1995) study of Hausa women. Whatever the object of envy, we see that there exists "an unspoken
bargain between women that they stay the same" which, when broken, provokes strong feelings of
jealousy (Eichenbaum and Orbach 1988:87). Africa scholars have even noted particular terms for
jealousy and rivalry within polygynous unions (Solway 1990; Potash 1995).

The simultaneous occurrence of jealousy and friendship in female relationships is most explicit
when women negotiate a conjugal relationship with a female friendship. Eichenbaum and Orbach
(1988) present this situation as inherently conflictual because the supportive female friendship
becomes competitive once the conjugal relationship enters the dynamic. In other words, women's
friendships, which ideally facilitate both reciprocity and comfortable interactions on a variety of
topics, become competitive once there is talk of childbirth, desires for children, and one's sex life.
Farrell (1987) suggests that the conflict that arises between women is rooted in a competition for
maternal recognition. Women do not typically receive such recognition in a male-dominated world
because child rearing is relegated to the realm of "female natural duties.' Therefore, women often
attempt to gain credit for their "female achievements" by outdoing a female competitor. However,
Abu-Lughod's (1993) study poignantly illustrates how co-wives can also help one another through
childbirth. Negotiating all aspects of maternity is important in African countries where childbearing
and child rearing are two of the most important markers of female status.

THE MALIAN CONTEXT

In Mali, 45 per cent of married women are in polygynous unions, making it a country with one of the
highest rates of polygyny in the world (EDS 1996). Polygyny, in general, is sustained by a large
difference in the average age at first marriage for men and women, which in turn produces a large
surplus of marriageable women (Pison 1986). This is certainly the case in Mali, where women are
expected to marry soon after puberty to begin their reproductive duties. An overwhelming 92 per
cent of the population identify as Muslim (EDS 1996). The Qur'an allows a man to marry as many
as four wives, a reason often given by men to justify polygyny. Mali is primarily an agrarian country
with a strong female presence in agricultural work. In her seminal work on the economic incentives
for polygyny, Boserup (1970) has argued that polygyny is directly correlated with female dominance
in agriculture. Taken together, all of these characteristics create highly favorable conditions for the
survival of polygyny in Mali.

The Bamanan are the largest ethnic group in Mali, comprising 35 per cent of the total population.
They are agriculturalists inhabiting the only fertile area of the country, located in the south.
Bamanan society is patrilineal and patrilocal, with a household organization system that places the
most senior male member in charge of both production and reproduction of labor. Marriage is
arranged by families and is exogamous, with the majority of wives coming from villages close to
their natal homes. Bamanan also practice the levirate, whereby a junior brother inherits the wives of
a deceased older brother. In most instances, the wives are beyond their childbearing years, thus
rendering the marriage symbolic. If the woman is in her childbearing years, however, she is
expected to have children for her new husband. This system ensures the continuation of the
lineage and the protection of labor resources within the household. Polygyny is common among the
Bamanan in part because of the need for a large human labor force. However, it is rare to find men
with more than two wives due to the increase in the cost of living (Toulmin 1992).

A seminomadic people found throughout West Africa, the Fulani make up about 10 per cent of the
population of Mali. They consist of two related groups: agropastoralists known as Fulbe, and former
slaves of the Fulbe known as the Rimaiibe. Although the two groups usually live together in the
same community, they are different in several ways, all of which are linked to their primary
occupations. Whereas the Fulbe take great pride in their identity as cattle herders, the Rimaiibe
engage primarily in farming (de Bruijn and van Dijk 1995; Riesman 1977). Only Fulbe are included
in this study in order to avoid the complicating issues of status differences. They are patrilineal,
patrilocal, and favor nuclear family units. Fulbe women sell or exchange milk every day at the local
market and weave straw mats. Marriage among the Fulbe is endogamous to the clan and village,
thus ensuring that women have regular contact with consanguines. Divorce is relatively common
among the Fulbe, especially after the first marriage, which many women consider an experimental
union. Polygyny is less common among the Fulbe for several reasons. First, the required
bridewealth of cattle and gold has become prohibitively expensive. De Bruijn and van Dijk (1995)
note that the 1985 drought virtually wiped out the practice through a dramatic decline in the supply
of cattle. Second, given the low priority of farming in Fulbe communities, there is less need for
additional labor in the form of wives than in Bamanan households. Finally, the continuing presence
of the Rimaiibe offers an additional source of labor in the household (de Bruijn and van Dijk 1995;
Riesman 1977).

DATA AND METHODS

The data for this analysis come from 48 life-history interviews with Bamanan and Fulbe women
conducted over a three-month period in 1997. The women (24 in each group) were chosen from a
sample of 1,014 women who were involved in the quantitative component of a comparative study
on social networks that was carried out from February 1996 to June 1997. (2) The process of
selecting informants for the life-cycle interviews was complicated. In the Fulbe area, the women
were selected from two different villages in order to represent the range of socioeconomic diversity.
In the Bamanan site, all 24 women came from one village. In order to represent various phases of
the life cycle, six women from each age set (15-20, 21-35, 36-50, 50 +) were chosen from each
site. It should be noted that women in the 50 + category were not included in the networks study
sample and therefore were chosen randomly from household census lists. I included both
monogamous and polygynous women in order to capture a more diverse array of attitudes toward
co-wives. Reflecting the prevalence of polygyny in each group, seventeen out of the 24 Bamanan
women were polygynous, while the corresponding Fulbe number was only five out of 24. The rest
were monogamous, with three widows in each group. I also interviewed a few husbands from each
site, though these discussions were far less systematic than the female interviews.

All interviews were conducted in the local language--Bamanan or Fulfulde--with the assistance of a
native speaker. The life-cycle approach enabled us to account for history in understanding a
woman's current circumstances. Although a set of topics covering the main themes of interest was
used to guide the interviews, tangential discussions often provided further insight into the topic
under discussion. The interviews lasted, on average, two to two-and-a-half hours. Our presence in
the villages during the quantitative phase of the social networks study over the previous year
facilitated access to the informants and, more importantly, established comfortable interview
conditions.

SOCIAL ORGANIZATION IN BAMANAN AND FULBE CONTEXTS

Polygynous unions in both ethnic groups are unquestionably hierarchical, but they are also part of a
collective organization known as the household. Scholars who have written about the Bamanan
highlight the primacy of egalitarianism and co-operation (Lewis 1979; Toulmin 1992). Household
members are expected to work with one another for the greater good of the corporate enterprise.
Recognizing the potential for conflict, older men and women in the household focus on women's
similarities to minimize competition. There is little doubt, however, that co-operation among
household members, especially co-wives, is partly attributable to rigid gerontocratic control
(Toulmin 1992). Arranged-marriage systems in both ethnic groups make the move into the conjugal
household traumatic for most women. Findings from the interviews indicate that different patterns of
loyalty exist within the conjugal household in the two groups. When asked where their loyalties
were, nearly every Bamanan woman gave a response similar to 25-year-old Fousseta's: "My
loyalties are here [in the conjugal family] because of my children and my marriage." Only half of the
Fulbe respondents mentioned their conjugal families, as in the case of 31-year-old Dico, who said,
"My loyalties are here because my children are here, but my love is always with my natal family."
Although both women use children as the reason for their loyalty toward their conjugal homes, the
meaning is different. For a Bamanan woman, the loyalty is to the household because of the child,
whereas for a Fulbe woman the loyalty is to the child, which happens to be in the household. The
other half of the Fulbe sample only mentioned natal family. The extent to which a woman identifies
with her conjugal household influences the level of collaboration between co-wives. The stronger
the loyalty, the greater the chances for friendships to develop; the weaker the identification, the
higher the propensity for competition.

The relationship between co-wives of different generations illustrates the varying nature of
hierarchical organization. Older Bamanan women expect their younger co-wives to adapt to the
status quo and leave their senior status unthreatened. For example, Massebe, a 60-year-old
Bamanan woman, explained why she has no problems with her new, young co-wife: "It was during
my stay in the clinic when I decided to look for another wife. I found Djeneba and my husband
accepted. She has now been here fifteen years and everything is great. I am responsible for raising
and educating all her children." What is not evident in this story is that Djeneba is deaf and so
poses no threat to Massebe's status. In fact, Massebe encouraged her husband to get another wife
so that she could retire from the most taxing household duties without relinquishing any power. This
particular strategy of collaboration functions well because a disabled woman in rural Mali is better
off within a marriage than on her own. This example raises the question of whether all forms of
hierarchical organization are necessarily exploitative. While the classic Cinderella model of older
wives exploiting the labor services of a younger wife has been noted by scholars (Potash 1995)
and is apparent in some Bamanan households, younger women also enjoy a sense of protection
from older co-wives. Fulbe women, regardless of age, view the entrance of a co-wife negatively
under almost all circumstances. Twenty-six-year-old Aminata made her view on the matter clear
when she said, "No woman wants a co-wife. Even if I must die from too much work, I prefer being
alone to getting a co-wife." Such sentiments demonstrate the competitive intensity that Ackelsberg
and Addelson (1987) argue characterizes hierarchical organization.

The idea of equity in organization that would, in turn, promote a collective ethic is, ironically
enough, the Qur'anic prescription for the treatment of wives. (3) It is common to find, in numerous
ethnic groups in sub-Saharan Africa, a system in which the day of cooking responsibilities is also
the day of conjugal obligations (Leis 1974; Oppong 1983; Potash 1995). Among the Bamanan,
there is a saying: "The day of the pot is the day of the mat.' Although the system of wife rotation is
supposed to ensure equal treatment, wife favoritism is inevitable in both groups. In fact, it would be
rare to find a man or woman who would be willing to say that wives are treated equally. However,
there is a difference in the attitudes of husbands in the two groups toward this inequity, which
affects the intensity of co-wife competition. Bamanan men attempt to make peace by offering
incentives to older wives, as explained by 40-year-old Bintou, the second wife among three: "I gain
a lot from polygyny because my husband has given me lots of gifts in secret since the arrival of the
third wife in order to keep me calm!" Fulbe men, on the other hand, appear to support Ackelsberg
and Addelson's (1987) claim that female competition is a means of preserving male dominance.
There is no better example of such bravado than the following statement made by a 34-year-old
polygynist with two wives: "There is nothing better than having two women trying to outdo one
another, which means that the man stands to gain a lot." Based on these two examples, I suggest
that promoting the collective ethic among women requires male recognition of its benefits.

Even if husbands were to accept the idea of equal treatment of their wives, there would still exist
substantial variation in women's motivations and abilities to manage conflict. On this point,
Lamphere's (1974) categorization of polygyny as necessarily conflictual is too rigid because it does
not allow fluidity or negotiable statuses. For example, conflict in Bamanan polygynous unions is
minimized not only by a rotation schedule managed by the husband but also through a system of
wife fosterage in which young wives go through an apprenticeship of sorts with the oldest wife. This
adjustment period is clearly important for Bamanan women, judging by the unanimous agreement
by the respondents in this study that a woman needs time to adapt to her co-wives and the
conjugal household before taking up permanent residence. Koro, an older wife nearing
menopause, summed it up nicely when she said, "Why should I fight with Aisse [her younger co-
wife]? I was the one who taught her everything about this household before she even moved in."
While accepting that conflict is inevitable despite all precautions, the study participants explained
that the apprenticeship allows a young co-wife access to information that can help her negotiate
tricky situations,

By contrast, there is no such period of transition or adjustment for Fulbe women at the time of
marriage and there is very little attempt to build co-wife collaboration after the event. Polygyny
among the Fulbe needs to be studied in the context of Pullakou, a code of ethics and behavior that
distinguishes Fulbe from non-Fulbe. (4) For the purposes of the present study, the most salient
feature of Pullakou is its emphasis on self-isolation, shame, and reticence in asking for help, all
three of which may be contributing factors to co-wife competition. At no time was this made clearer
than when a rock landed on the doorstep of a second wife's hut where I was interviewing the
husband. The origin of the rock soon became apparent as an irate first wife marched in and
accused us of conspiring with her co-wife. This action was particularly noteworthy because it
demonstrated the importance of public displays of competition, which arguably enhance a woman's
status. There is no greater affront to a Fulbe woman than the possibility of being replaced by
another. In sum, our interview results both support and challenge Lamphere's (1974) view of
polygyny. The responses of Bamanan women suggest that certain life-course transitions can in
themselves be conducive to the development of collaborative female relationships, a point that is
notably absent in Lamphere's conclusion. Evidence from the Fulbe interviews, however, supports
her idea that polygyny is inherently competitive because women's positions in the domestic group
do not permit active collaboration. As is discussed below, the Fulbe predisposition to conflict as well
as the Bamanan proclivity toward collaboration are both linked to bearing and raising children.

MATERNAL RECOGNITION

"Measuring maternity," a phrase coined by Farrell (1987), is very much at the heart of co-wife
competition in both groups studied. Measures, in this case, include the number of surviving
children, the success of children, the number of male children, and proper education for children.
Interview data suggest that a collective attitude about child rearing and possibly even childbearing
is found to a greater extent in Bamanan polygynous unions than in Fulbe ones. Bamanan women,
such as 30-year-old Fanta, often expressed willingness to treat the children of a co-wife as their
own: "I can treat the children of my co-wife as my own; I can stop having my own children and let
her carry on." An even more telling example of collective maternity is the case of 42-year-old
Sofing, who at the time of the interview had lost all of her eight children (most at early ages).
Instead of feeling less valued as a woman because of her inability to keep children alive, Sofing
calmly explained, "It was the decision of God and I am at least thankful that I am not sterile. I am
trying to convince my husband to take another wife so she can produce children for both of us."
Although her confidence in her status is bolstered by her role as a respected schoolteacher, her
willingness to collaborate with a co-wife is indicative of well-entrenched Bamanan norms of co-
operation and harmony. The Fulbe situation is markedly different. Aye, a nineteen-year-old Fulbe
woman, appeared to be more cautious of collective child rearing when she said, "I can take care of
other children as my own but I do not consider them as my own." These interviews suggest that the
substitutability of children among co-wives is more problematic in Fulbe unions because women put
substantial weight on biological offspring.

When it comes to assistance during delivery and postpartum care, there are compelling reasons for
seeking the help of a co-wife. Women benefit from advice on delivery positions, managing pain,
and regaining strength after the birth. In describing the scene on the day of delivery of a co-wife's
baby, Abu-Lughod (1993:90) remarks, "Despite their difficulties with each other--and they had
many--there was between then a closeness and dependency, perhaps as women who give birth."
The Bamanan and Fulbe show some striking differences. When asked who they rely on for support
during and immediately after labor, Bamanan women are quick to mention their co-wives, whereas
Fulbe women are much more likely to mention their sisters, other natal family members, or
Rimaiibe women. Who is called on for assistance depends on the ability to resolve certain
inhibitions about the body and sexuality. From my interviews, it is clear that only Bamanan women
can share this level of intimacy with their co-wives.

The importance of lineage in identity formation has been well documented in the anthropological
literature (Fortes 1969; Potash 1995; Radcliffe-Brown and Forde 1950). Meekers and Franklin
(1995) note that matrilineality prevents Kaguru women from identifying collectively with all women
and children in a polygynous household. As the Bamanan and Fulbe are patrilineal, and inheritance
comes from the father, Bamanan respondents often explained that children of co-wives are treated
the same because they share the same father. It is notable that none of my Fulbe respondents
mentioned collective identity based on a patrilineal descent system as a reason for engaging in
communal child care.

JEALOUSY
Jealousy is found in almost all co-wife relationships and is closely linked to envy. It takes many
forms and can be directed toward different objects. In a polygynous marriage, a woman can be
jealous of her much younger and perhaps more attractive co-wife, or she can be envious of the
favorable treatment that her husband is giving to another co-wife, or she can be jealous of a
woman who has managed to keep her husband from becoming a polygynist. What promotes
jealousy in the ethnic groups under study? For the Fulbe, Pullakou, which places a high value on
wealth (e.g., cattle and gold) and a woman's physical beauty, offers a partial explanation (Riesman
1977). In short, to be beautiful and wealthy and to act as a proper Fulbe bestow honor. Sexual
rivalry is strong and does not diminish with age or with a substantial age difference between wives.
Fulbe women feel the need to prove their sexual worth either through competition with a co-wife or
by remaining an only wife. In fact, one of the biggest insults to a woman is for her to be replaced by
a younger co-wife, as intimated by the quote opening this article. Such resentment is further
intensified by concern about public approval in the community, which explains why even older
wives actively thwart relationships between their co-wives and their husbands. The only Fulbe
women in our interviews who played down jealousy were wives of marabouts (Qur'anic scholars),
such as 64-year-old Oumou, who claimed, "In the family of a marabout, we [co-wives] consider
ourselves as sisters; there is no jealousy; it is for this reason that polygyny works." In this case,
religion appears to mitigate co-wife tensions.

During the course of the Bamanan interviews, it became clear that a woman's refusal to eat with
her co-wives is a sign of jealousy. Despite the period of adjustment that most wives go through,
jealousy is inevitable for some of the same reasons as for the Fulbe. Sexual rivalry exists and
women often complain of being thrown aside for the new, prettier co-wife. An exceptionally
memorable case from the study is the Bamanan senior wife who successfully forced the departure
of two co-wives through black magic, causing considerable anxiety for the remaining co-wife, who
was attempting the seemingly impossible. However, there is one important feature that
distinguishes the role of jealousy in the two communities. Jealousy is looked down upon in the
Bamanan community, where women are expected to accept a co-wife, but is considered normal in
the Fulbe community, where women are expected to fight to keep the man. While there is no
denying that Bamanan women sometimes lament the arrival of co-wives, they tend to focus less on
jealousy with age and age difference. In fact, several older women, such as Sofing, placed partial
blame for marital strife in polygynous unions on young co-wives who have not yet learned to control
their jealousy. Older wives tend to use their status and security to mitigate feelings of jealousy. As
discussed below, co-wife management by the husband might play a bigger role in managing
jealousy than cultural norms.

Co-wife jealousy is mitigated by the opportunity to share domestic chores and child-rearing
responsibilities. As mentioned earlier, the rotation system usually operates in some form in most
polygynous unions to formalize this dispersion of responsibilities and to minimize jealousy (Clignet
1970; Lamphere 1974). Each wife is assigned different days during which she cooks and sleeps
with her husband. The exact division of days and the accompanying responsibilities vary across
and within ethnic groups depending on the number of people in the household and the workload.
Fainzang and Journet (1988) describe the sleeping rotation in polygynous Toucouleur families as
so strict that a child suspected of having been conceived on a "stolen night" (i.e., stolen from a co-
wife) is treated as a bastard. The Bamanan treat the rotation more as a loose structure that
ensures both production and reproduction than as a strict rule. For example, I came across several
older wives who regularly gave up their night with the husband to one of the younger wives. Such
flexibility is rarely seen among Fulbe women for two reasons. First, they view the rotation as a
means of insuring peace in a volatile atmosphere and therefore react passionately if it is changed.
Second, Fulbe women are simply not comfortable with the rotation system because it is
incongruous with Fulbe values of self-sufficiency. Sixty-nine-year-old Fatoumata explained, "It is the
Fulbe custom that each household is by itself; there is no exchange between members of a large
family; there is no woman who is treated as a leader." It follows, therefore, that the only way to live
with a rotation system is to enforce it strictly for everyone.

The secondary importance of the conjugal bond in both Bamanan and Fulbe communities
underscores Fainzang and Journet's (1988) observation that jealousy driven by sexual rivalry does
not always feature prominently in the rotation. In fact, wives sometimes use various strategies to
avoid their husbands. However, given that sex is a prerequisite for attaining financial favors from
the husband, most young wives see little logic in fighting the system. Among older Bamanan wives,
however, it is very common to find women completely out of the rotation, quite happily, because
they no longer need to win any favors. Thirty-year-old Safiatou explained, "If you have a daughter-
in-law and a young co-wife, it is much easier to transfer your household duties to the daughter-in-
law; the co-wife can take over the responsibilities of a marriage." Simply put, well-established
status within the household guarantees older Bamanan wives respect. Fulbe women, even those
with numerous children, feel a deep sense of shame and some vulnerability if they are replaced by
other women. Aissata, a 44-year-old only wife suspecting that her husband has already taken on
another wife, emphatically said, "I will continue with sex till death in order to prevent my husband
from taking another wife." The existence or absence of jealousy and envy depends, in part, on the
extent to which wives relate to one another on their own terms outside of the dynamic created for
them by their husbands.

FRIENDSHIP

For polygynous wives, as with most women, friendship depends largely on the age difference
between them. The interview findings suggest that in general, Bamanan co-wives who are closer in
age tend to treat each other as friends. However, such age parity can lead to both competition and
collaboration. The former arises because wives of the same age are all vying for security and
status, while the latter comes out of reciprocal moral support in handling the pressures of conjugal
life. A large difference in age, as in the case of first and third wives, usually produces a maternal
relationship in which the younger woman solicits advice from the older one. Nineteen-year-old Awa
explained, "I consider them [her two co-wives] as my older sisters and I can talk to them about
intimate problems." Reciprocity in such a situation is less of an issue because the younger co-wife
is expected to take over the household chores of the older.

The line separating kinship from friendship is often blurred in co-wife relationships where wives are
related to the husband and possibly to each other. This means that women cannot, as Rubin (1986)
suggests, take refuge in the purely secular world of friendship and enjoy its freedom from kin
constraints, nor can they fully enjoy the security and benefits of the sacred realm of kinship. For
example, several of the Bamanan respondents explained that the existence of kin ties between
themselves and their co-wives facilitated communication. However, it was also evident that some of
these relationships were unable to withstand the pressures of sexual rivalry and childbearing. For
Fulbe women, neither age difference nor kinship ties appear to change the inherent lack of trust
among co-wives. Friendships are more likely to develop with Rimaiibe women, who share no
kinship connections. In the period when slavery was legal in Mali, Fulbe households usually had
several resident Rimaiibe who did both housework and looked after animals (Riesman 1977). As
might be expected, Fulbe women formed trusting relationships with Rimaiibe women that have
continued. It is little wonder, therefore, that women tend to confide in Rimaiibe women, who are of
lower status than their co-wives, who are direct competitors.

Co-wife relations in unions with three or more wives resemble the dynamic among three sisters in
which two are especially close to one another but distant from the third. In Bamanan unions, a
young third wife feels little camaraderie with her two older co-wives because they are old enough to
be her mothers. However, she does not usually become the object of their suspicion and jealousy,
as in the case of the Fulbe third wife in a story recounted by the two older wives. In this most
unusual case, the third wife was not supposed to have married the husband, who had been
assigned the task of finding her a suitable mate by his brother. In the time leading up to his
extraordinary decision, his two wives raised the young woman as their daughter and were perfectly
content. Once the husband announced his decision, all the compassion that they had felt for the
young girl turned into jealousy and envy while their own relationship with one another grew warmer.
In this case, co-wife friendship developed over a common source of jealousy and vulnerability.

Co-wife friendships offer women the chance to talk. Most of the respondents in this study, Bamanan
and Fulbe, claimed that they talked to one another while performing daily chores or during periods
of relaxation. Common topics of discussion include the harvest, an illness of a child, food
shortages, or maybe even some gossip that does not concern any of them directly. The willingness
to discuss sensitive issues such as pregnancies, sexual relations, or contraception is indicative of
deeper levels of trust and friendship. Whereas Bamanan respondents stated that they were willing
to discuss such matters with other women including their co-wives, Fulbe women tended to be
more cautious in divulging information to co-wives and indeed to most women. Lala, a 19-year-old
only wife, described the boundaries of her relationship with her sister-in-law: "We do not speak
about pregnancies or sex because it can be used against you." Such discussions, I was told, are
restricted to one's natal kin or Rimaiibe women.

Lala's reluctance to share sensitive information with other coresident women is linked to the issue
of competing relationships discussed earlier (Eichenbaum and Orbach 1988). In the context of
early and arranged marriage, one might argue that issues related to the conjugal realm do not
necessarily have to induce feelings of envy and jealousy among co-wives, thereby enabling
friendships to form. As it turns out, this hypothesis only works in some cases. Bamanan women
tend to use similarities in conjugal relations (both bad and good) as a common basis for a
friendship. Fulbe women, on the other hand, guard news about connubial situations from one
another. They seek out their own mothers, as in the case of the newly married Fatoumata, who
said, "I prefer to go to my mother's house because I am not close to anyone in my household."
Others, such as 31-year-old Sadio, told me that she usually sought advice from her husband's older
male friends because they are detached from the conjugal family. The ability to protect female
friendships from jealousy brought on by competing conjugal experiences partly depends on the
extent to which co-wives are willing to let one another enter their private worlds.

CONCLUDING REMARKS

By investigating the varying nature of polygyny both within and between ethnic groups, this study
has shown that the co-wife relationship has both competitive and collaborative potential. While
cultural norms are important influences of behavior, they tend to mask variations at the individual
level. However, there is little doubt that socioeconomic, cultural, and other structural features of
each community condition the extent to which co-wives can and want to collaborate with one
another. The vast differences in cultural norms and social organization between Bamanan and
Fulbe women force us to question whether female collaboration is always good. Based on the
findings from this study, the answer is yes, for some women under certain conditions, but clearly
not for all. While competition appears to dominate Fulbe polygynous unions, it is not obvious that
women necessarily suffer as a result. I suggest that in such circumstances, women may actually
risk compromising their status through collaborative behavior. With the Bamanan, on the other
hand, a show of harmony among co-wives is applauded not just by household members but by the
larger community as well. In short, I contend that mutual support and co-operation among
Bamanan co-wives come out of a realization that they stand to benefit by working together. In the
absence of any such recognition among the Fulbe, there is little incentive for the formation of co-
wife friendships.

Related to the issue of competition and collaboration is jealousy, which has been treated in an
undifferentiated manner in feminist scholarship. Some scholars take the view that jealousy leads to
competition under all circumstances because the conjugal relationship is of central importance in
the lives of women (Eichenbaum and Orbach 1988). There is little doubt that jealousy exists, albeit
in varying degrees, in most co-wife relationships, but it does not necessarily preclude collaboration.
As the interviews with Bamanan women suggest, in the absence of strong conjugal bonds, jealousy
can be controlled not just to promote household harmony but also to enhance status. I suggest that
active efforts to mitigate jealousy are part of a strategy that can produce short-term and long-term
benefits. Such a perspective forces a rethinking of Lamphere's (1974) framework of domestic
power distribution. Contrary to her idea that women must work through men in polygynous unions
to exercise any power, the findings from this study suggest that potential for female empowerment
through a collaborative strategy among women does indeed exist. It is also clear that female
empowerment within a hierarchical structure must be viewed as a life-course acquisition. In other
words, women attain status and power with age, children, and other culturally prescribed
achievements (Madhavan and Bledsoe 2001). It follows, therefore, that position in the life course
inhibits or promotes collaboration in varying degrees.

Arguments in defense of polygyny have relied heavily on its collaborative potential. Steady (1987)
argues that polygyny offers benefits to women such as joint motherhood and sharing of maternal
responsibilities, and grants women more freedom, autonomy, and mobility. Elsewhere, it is argued
that patriarchy may become more limited in such societies because polygyny builds up strong
bonds among women (Leis 1974; Clignet 1970). From the point of view of many Western feminists,
however, polygyny can only be oppressive for women. In fact, many West African women would
agree. Oumou Sangare, one of Mali's most famous singers, recorded an album that focuses on the
miseries of polygyny. Additionally, historical trends in the prevalence and practice of polygyny in
West Africa have altered its function and the nature of co-wife relationships. Polygynous marriages
have been on the decline in almost every country in West Africa as a result of increasing cost of
living, increase in women's education, urbanization, and changes in women's status. Additionally,
the practice of polygyny has changed, especially in the urban areas where wives are forced to
share common living areas. Informal polygyny ("outside wives"), whereby a man has an
extramarital relationship with a woman in the city (Potash 1995), is becoming more and more
common. There is little doubt that these changes affect the ways in which women relate to one
another and the extent to which polygyny subjugates women.

While I made no attempt in this study to defend or condemn polygyny, the results underscore the
need to work within socioeconomic and cultural boundaries in order to assess whether polygyny
helps or hurts women. Most importantly, it should be recognized that women worldwide adapt to
different systems of oppression with individual strategies that include a rational decision to
collaborate or compete based on the socioeconomic, political, and cultural constraints that
surround them.

NOTES

(1.) I am greatly indebted to Robin Leidner, Laura Carpenter, and Anita Garey for their insightful
criticisms and to Aisse Diarra and Kadidia Djenepo for their invaluable assistance in conducting the
interviews in Mali. Funding was provided by the National Science Foundation (grant # 9420237)
and the Mellon Foundation.
(2.) The 1,014 women were interviewed for a project on social networks and maternal and child
health in Bamanan and Fulbe communities. The project was funded by the National Science
Foundation and the principal investigators were Alayne Adams and Sarah Castle.

(3.) "If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your
choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly [with them], then
only one" (Qur'an 4:3).

(4.) The most studied aspect of Fulbe culture is the notion of Pullakou, which has been treated as
one of the most important distinguishing features of Fulbe society. An extensive discussion of
Pullakou as well as on all aspects of Fulbe culture can be found in both Riesman's (1977) and de
Bruijn and van Dijk's (1995) work.

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Sangeetha Madhavan
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Madhavan, Sangeetha

Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2002 University of Pittsburgh, Department of Anthropology

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Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
Madhavan, Sangeetha. "Best of friends and worst of enemies: competition and collaboration in
polygyny (1)." Ethnology, vol. 41, no. 1, 2002, p. 69+. Gale Academic OneFile Select,
link.gale.com/apps/doc/A87780873/EAIM?u=mlin_oweb&sid=bookmark-EAIM&xid=75fb1b2e.
Accessed 12 July 2021.

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