suicide prevention

Are You Feeling Suicidal?

If you’re thinking about suicide, your pain may seem
overwhelming and permanent. But there are ways to
cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings and overcome
the pain.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts

No matter how much pain you’re experiencing right now, you’re not alone. Many of us have
had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect,
and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have

p|1
more pain than you can cope with right now. But with time and support, you can overcome
your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

Some of the finest, most admired, needed, and talented people have been where you are
now. Many of us have thought about taking our own lives when we’ve felt overwhelmed by
depression and devoid of all hope. But the pain of depression can be treated and hope can
be renewed.

No matter what your situation, there are people who need you, places where you can make
a difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. It takes real
courage to face death and step back from the brink. You can use that courage to face life, to
learn coping skills for overcoming depression, and for finding the strength to keep going.
Remember:

1. Your emotions are not fixed—they are constantly changing. How you feel today may
not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.
2. Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.
3. There are many things you can still accomplish in your life.
4. There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift
you—and that you would miss.
5. Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience
distressing emotions.

Why do I feel suicidal?

Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are
unique to each one of us, and the ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person.
We are all different. There are, however, some common causes that may lead us to
experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Why suicide can seem like the only option

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don’t
exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. The intense emotional pain that
you’re experiencing right now can distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see possible
solutions to problems—or to connect with those who can offer support.

Therapists, counselors, friends, or loved ones can help you to see solutions that otherwise

p|2
may not be apparent to you. Please give them a chance to help.

A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary

Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, it is important to
realize that crises are usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings change,
unexpected positive events occur. Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a
temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to
subside.

Even problems that seem hopeless have solutions

Mental health conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder are all
treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication. Most people who seek help can
improve their situation and recover.

Even if you have received treatment for a disorder before, or if you’ve already made
attempts to solve your problems, know that it’s often necessary to try different approaches
before finding the right solution or combination of solutions. When medication is prescribed,
for example, finding the right dosage often requires an ongoing process of adjustment.
Don’t give up before you’ve found the solution that works for you. Virtually all problems can
be treated or resolved.

Take these immediate actions

If you’re feeling suicidal at this moment, please follow these five steps:

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts
and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic
during that time.” Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to
become a reality. There is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts
immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal
action.

p|3
Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is
important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are
thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If
you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking
an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time
as you need them.

Step #4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to
share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of
the clergy, teacher, family doctor, coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a
helpline.

Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or
embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if the first person you reach out to
doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Just talking about how you got to this point in
your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

Step #5: Take hope – people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take
hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings,
no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing.
Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Reaching out for help

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you
during this difficult time. Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24
hours or a week in step #1 above, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you.
Talk to someone who won’t try to argue about how you feel, judge you, or tell you to just

p|4
“snap out of it.” Find someone who will simply listen and be there for you.

It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as it’s someone you trust and who is likely to listen with
compassion and acceptance.

How to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts

Even when you’ve decided who you can trust to talk to, admitting your suicidal thoughts to
another person can be difficult.

Tell the person exactly what you are telling yourself. If you have a suicide plan, explain
it to them.
Phrases such as, ‘I can’t take it anymore’ or ‘I’m done’ are vague and do not illustrate
how serious things really are. Tell the person you trust that you are thinking about
suicide.
If it is too difficult for you to talk about, try writing it down and handing a note to the
person you trust. Or send them an email or text and sit with them while they read it.

What if you don’t feel understood?

If the first person you reached out to doesn’t seem to understand, tell someone else or call a
suicide crisis helpline. Don’t let a bad experience stop you from finding someone who can
help.

If you don’t know who to turn to:

In the U.S. – Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or
IMAlive at 1-800-784-2433.

In the UK and Ireland – Call Samaritans UK at 116 123

In Australia – Call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14

In other countries – Visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.

p|5
How to cope with suicidal thoughts
Remember that while it may seem as if these suicidal thoughts and feelings will never end,
this is never a permanent condition. You WILL feel better again. In the meantime, there
are some ways to help cope with your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

If You Have Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

Things to do:
Talk with someone every day, preferably face to face. Even though you may feel like
withdrawing, ask trusted friends and acquaintances to spend time with you. Or continue to
call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.
Make a safety plan. Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It
should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family
members who will help in an emergency.
Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a
regular routine as much as possible, even when your feelings seem out of control.
Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes a day.
Exercise as vigorously as is safe for you. To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of
exercise per day. But you can start small. Three 10-minute bursts of activity can have a
positive effect on mood.
Make time for things that bring you joy. Even if very few things bring you pleasure at
the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.
Remember your personal goals. You may have always wanted to travel to a particular
place, read a specific book, own a pet, move to another place, learn a new hobby,
volunteer, go back to school, or start a family. Write your personal goals down.
Things to avoid:
Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse. Visit a friend, or family
member, or pick up the phone and call a crisis helpline.
Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase depression, hamper your problem-
solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.
Doing things that make you feel worse. Listening to sad music, looking at certain
photographs, reading old letters, or visiting a loved one’s grave can all increase negative
feelings.
Thinking about suicide and other negative thoughts. Try not to become preoccupied
with suicidal thoughts as this can make them even stronger. Don’t think and rethink
negative thoughts. Find a distraction. Giving yourself a break from suicidal thoughts can
help, even if it’s for a short time.

p|6
Recovering from suicidal thoughts
Even if your suicidal thoughts and feelings have subsided, get help for yourself.
Experiencing that sort of emotional pain is itself a traumatizing experience. Finding a
support group or therapist can be very helpful in decreasing the chances that you will feel
suicidal again in the future.

You can get help and referrals from your doctor or from the crisis lines listed below.

5 steps to recovery

1. Identify triggers or situations that lead to feelings of despair or generate suicidal

thoughts, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Find
ways to avoid these places, people, or situations.
2. Take care of yourself. Eat right, don’t skip meals, and get plenty of sleep. Exercise is
also key: it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
3. Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive influences and people
who make you feel good about yourself. The more you’re invested in other people and
your community, the more you have to lose—which will help you stay positive and on
the recovery track.
4. Develop new activities and interests. Find new hobbies, volunteer activities, or
work that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. When you’re doing things you
find fulfilling, you’ll feel better about yourself and feelings of despair are less likely to
return.
5. Learn to deal with stress in a healthy way. Find healthy ways to keep your stress
levels in check, including exercising, meditating, using sensory strategies to relax,
practicing simple breathing exercises, and challenging self-defeating thoughts.

Suicide crisis lines in the U.S.:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or IMAlive at 1-800-784-2433.

The Trevor Project offers suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth at 1-866-488-7386.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline offers referrals for substance abuse and mental health
treatment at 1-800-662-4357.

p|7
Suicide crisis lines worldwide:

In the UK and Ireland: Call Samaritans UK at 116 123.

In Australia: Call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14.

In Canada: Call Crisis Services Canada at 1-833-456-4566.

In other countries: Find a helpline near you at Befrienders Worldwide, IASP, or

International Suicide Hotlines.

Authors: Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Will you help keep HelpGuide free for all?

One in four people will struggle with mental health at some point in their lives. And with the
coronavirus pandemic and troubled economy, many are in crisis right now. More than ever,
people need a trustworthy place to turn to for guidance and hope. That is our mission at
HelpGuide. Our free online resources ensure that everyone can get the help they need when
they need it—no matter what health insurance they have, where they live, or what they can
afford. But as a nonprofit that doesn’t run ads or accept corporate sponsorships, we need
your help. If you have already contributed, thank you. If you haven’t, please consider
helping us reach those who need it: Donate today from as little as $3.

Last updated: September 2020

Get more help

If you are thinking about suicide, read this first – Tips for getting you through when you’re
feeling suicidal. (Metanoia.org)

About Suicide – Information for those considering suicide or have attempted suicide in the
past. (NHS)

p|8
Coping with Suicidal Thoughts (PDF) – How to understand your suicidal feelings and how to
develop a safety plan. (Consortium for Organizational Mental Health)

p|9