INE hu d ed set s o f t h e T RE A SU RE T RO V E Ru m o rs of

n r

T he C o ll e c te d W riti g s o f Sa mu e l Lo v e r h a v e b e e n
n

pri n ted o f wh ich t h i s i s N u mbe r

,
 L I ST OF I L L U ST RA T IO N S

V O LU M E TW O

T om O rga n L oft us ’
C o l d a iria n S y s te m Fr on t irp ie ce

T om C
r s Cat on n o
’
i
V g n e tt e on i
T t le

An d y s C ki g E t ra rd i a r
’
oo n x o n
y Pa g e 3 3 6

To m rg a L f t us
O d n uk o an the D e

Th e bdu ti
A c on

A C ra k t c S ho

Th C h all g
e en e

Th Par
e a t i lla r
t
y K ne
y
E t cb e d by W . H . W . z n e /I
Bu / f m d r a w i ng s by Sa mu e l L ov e r
ro '
 H A N DY A N DY

C H A P T E R XXI I
H E n igh t w pi t c h d a k g hn l mi m fi as g m
’

s i
’

ur
’
as r z r n

adjac e n t corn e r v eh icl e co u l d b e s e en bu t

no ;
a pecu l iar w his t le fro m D ic k was answered by t h e
so u nd f approach ing w h e e l s and t h e ra p id foo t fal ls f
o o

a h orse m i n g le d w it h t he l i gh t rat t l e f a s mar t gig

,
o .

O n t h e v eh ic l e co m in g u p D ick t ook hi l itt l e m ar e , s ,

t h at w as blacker tha n t h e n igh t by t h e h e ad t he ap r o n , ,

o f t h e gig w t h row n d own a n d as j um p e d a smart ,

ou t

se v a nt b y
r -
o .

Y h av e t h e hors e r e ady
ou B i lly ,
t oo ,
Yi i sai d B i lly t ouching h is ha t
s , s r,
”
, .

T h en fo ll ow a n d k ee p u p w i t h m e rem emb e r
, , .

”
“ Yi i s , s r.

C om e t o h e r head h ere and h e patte d th e l i ttle

, ,

m ar e s n ec k as h e S pok e w i t h a car e ssi n g who a

’ “
,
”

which was answ e red by a l w n e igh f sa t is fac t ion o o ,

wh ile t he im pa t ien t pawi n g f h e r fore foo t showed the o

an imal s des ire’

s t art Wha t a n im pa t ien t l it tl e
to .
“

dev i l h i s said D ic k
e s,
”
h e m ou n t ed the gig
,
as I ll ;
“ ’

ge t i n firs t M u rphy ,
I m goi ng ,
d riv e N w u p
as
’
to . o

w i t h y — h ookou t h e apro n — t h at s i — ar e y
on
’
t ou

al l righ t
“
Ch ute said M urphy , .

The n y b e i n t o you r sadd l e a n d a ft e r

ou B i lly u s, ,

s aid D ic k a n d w l et h er g
; no o .
”

Bi lly g av e t h e l i t tl e blac k mar e h er h e ad a n d away ,

s h w en t a t a slappi ng pac e th e fi re from th e road
e , ,

a n swering t h e rapid s t ro kes f her n i mb le feet T h e o .

V OL — . IL l
3 10 Ha n dy A n dy
serva nt th e n m ou nted a ho r se wh ich was t ied t o a
n eig h bou ri ng palisade and had to g ll p f it to come ,
a o or

u p w it h his maste r who w as d i mg W t h a w f

o .

r v i s r t n e ss
,

almost fea r ful considering t h e d a r k ness f t h e n ig h t and

,
o

t h e n a rrowness o f t h e r oad h e had to t a v e rse fo r h e r ,

was m aki ng t h e best f h is ourse by c r oss way s to an o c

-

adj ac nt roa d s id : la , wh e re so me no n reside nt electors

.

e e p -

th at n igh t by a coac h from

(
"
wer e ex pe t ed a i c
‘

to n
‘
Ve
town h ad ev ery no ok and
i n n was t h e n e arest poi n t
'
"
iy and
' '

c ra n i t
w h e re they could get any acco m modat ion .

Now don t suppose t h at t h ey w ere elec t ors who m

’

M u r p h y and D ic k i n t h ei r zeal fo r t h ei r party we re

going o v er to g r eet with h ea r ty wel omes a n d b ri ng u p c

to t h e pol l t h e next day By n o m ea ns Th ey we re . .

t he fr iends of the opposite party and it was wit h th e ,

d esign of reta r ding t h ei r m o v e m ents t h at t h is n ig h t s ’

excu r sion was undertaken These electors we r e a .

batc h of plai n c itizens from D ubl i n whom t he S catter ,

b r ai n i nte r est had i ndu ced t o lea v e the peace and qu ie t

o f t h e c ity to tem pt t h e wi ld s of t h e cou n t ry at t h at
wi ldest of times — d u r i ng a co ntested elect ion and a ;
n ig ht coac h was fr eig h ted inside an d w ith t h e o ut

w ort h y cits w h ose agg r egate voices wo uld be f im

, o

m ense im portance the n ext d ay for the con t es t was ;

close h cou nty nea r ly polled ou t and bu t two day s
,
t e
,

mo r e fo r the st r uggle N w to interc e p t t hese plai n . o ,

u ns spe t i ng men was the objec t f M u rphy w hose

u c o ,

well su ppl ied i n fo r matio n h ad d isco v ered t o h i m th is

-

plan o f t h e enemy wh ich h e set about cou nte r m i n i ng

, .

A s t h ey rattled over the roug h b y r oad s many a laugh -

d id t h e me r ry atto r n ey and t h e u ntameable D ic k t h e

D e v i l exchange as t h e probabl e su ess of t h ei r sc h em e
, cc

was can v assed an d fr es h ex ped ients d e v i sed to meet the

,

possible i mped iments wh i h m ig h t i nter r u pt t h em A s c .

t h ey to pped a h ill M r p h y poi nted out to h is co mpanio n u

a mo v i n g light i n the plai n beneat h .

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 11

Tha t s t h e coach D ic k — t her e are t h e l am ps

’
, ,

we r e j u s t i n t i m e — spi n dow n t h e h ill my boy — let

’
,

me g e t i n as t hey re at su pper an d faith t hey ll wan t

’

,
’ ’

it a fter com ing o ff a coach suc h a n igh t as t his to say

, ,

nothi ng o f some o f t hem bei ng a l derm en i n expect ancy

perhaps and o f cou rs e oblig ed t o play t r e n cher men as
,
-

o ften as they can a s a r e qui si te reh e arsa l for t he parts

,

t hey m us t h erea ft er fi l l ”
.

I n fi ftee n mi nu t es more D ic k pu lle d u p b e for e a

s ma l l cab i n w i t hi n a q u art e r o f a m i l e o f t h e in n an d ,

t h e mo u n te d s e rvan t t a pped a t th e doo r wh ich was ,

i mm e d i a t e l y o pen e d and a peasa nt advan cing t o t h e

, ,

gig re t u rned t he c iv i l sa l uta t io n wi t h wh ic h D i ck

,

gree t ed his app roach .

“
I want e d t o be su re you were ready Barny ,
.

O h d o y o u t hin k I d fai l y ou M ist h e r D ick yo u r

,
’

, ,

hon ou r ?
“
I t hough t y o u m igh t b e as l eep Barny , .

N o t w he n you b id rn e wak e s ir ; an d t here s a n i c e

’

f i re ready f o r y o u an d a s fi n e a d h ro p o p ot t e e n a s ever
’
,

t ickled yo u r t o ngue sir ”

,
.

“
You re t he lad B a rn y l good fel l ow — I l l be
’
,
’

back w i t h y o u b y an d b y ; an d o ff whipped D ic k
- -

aga i n .

A fter go ing abou t a qu art er o f a m i le fu rt he r h e ,

pu lled u p a l ighted wit h M urphy fr om t he gig u nha r

, ,

n e s s e d t he l i t tle b lack mare an d t hen ov e r t u rn e d the ,

gig in t o th e d itc h .

Th a t s a s n atu ra l as li fe sa id D ic k
’

, .

Wha t an escape o f my n eck I v e had ' ”

sai d ’

hd u r p hy .

A r e y ou m u ch hu r t ? sa id D ick ”
.

A t rifl e lam e on ly sai d M urphy la ughi n g and, ,

l im pin g .

“
T here wa s a grea t baccag b lost i n y o u M u rph y
l
, .

W ai t ; l e t me rub a hand fu l o f m ud o n your fa c e

1 La me b gga r e .
 3 12 Ha n dy fi n dy
t here — you hav e a ve ry u pset look pon my sou l ,
’

said D ick as h e fl ashed t he lig h t f h is l an t ern o n hi m

,
o

for a momen t and laug h ed a t M u rp h y scoo p ing t h e m ud

,

out o f h is ey e w here D ic k had pu r pose ly planted i t

,
.

“ D e v i l tak e y ou said M g h tha t s too ,

”
u rt o u ;
“ ’

natu r al .
”

“ There noth ing l ik e looki ng you r par t s aid D ick

’
s , .

Well I may as wel l com plet e my atti re said

, ,

M u rt o u
gh h e l ay dow n i n t h e road and took a roll
,
so

i n the mud t hat w ill do said h e

;
“ and now D ick ,
”
;
“
, ,

go bac k to Barny a nd the m ou ntain dew wh ile I storm ,

t h e cam p of t he Phil ist i n es I t hin k i n a cou ple f . o

ho urs you may b e t he look fo r m e I l l sign a l on -

ou t ;
’

yo u from the win do w so now good by e an d M urphy ,

-

; ,

l e ad ing the mare proceed e d to th e i n n wh ile D ick with

, , ,

a part ing L uck t o y ou my boy turn e d bac k t o the

“
, ,
”

cottage of Barny .

Th e coach had s et dow n i ins ide and te n s x o ut

passenge r s ( al l v oters ) abou t ten m inutes before M u rphy

marched u p to t he i n n door leading th e b lack mare and , ,

cal ling ostler m os t lus ti ly H is cal l being answered

“
.

for the beast th e man next demand ed at t ent ion

,
”
;
and the lan d lo rd wo ndered al l th e won ders he cou ld
cram i nto a sho r t s peech a t seeing M i h M urphy ,
st er ,

s u r e a t suc h a t i me an d the son sy l an d lady too was

, ; , ,

all l amen tation s for h is ill ig coat and h is poo r eye a nt ,

s ure all r u i n ed w ith the m d — and wha t w i t at

, u z as

all ? an u pset was it ? oh wi rra l and was n t it lu cky

, ,
’

he was n t k il led and they with out a Spare bed t o l ay

’

h im d
out i f h e was — su re would
ac e n t it be horrid ,
n t
’

for h is body to be o n ly on h w i th e barn instead st ra n ,

f the best feather bed i n the house an d i ndeed h e d

’
o -

; ,
,

b e we lcom e to it on ly th e g i l m from tow n had ,

nt e en

t h em al l engaged .

Well dead or al i v e I m u s t stay he re t o nigh t M rs

, ,
-

,
.

Kelly at all e v ents

,
.
”

A nd wha t will you do for a bed ?

3 4
1 Ha n dy A n d y
D o you fee l you r k nee be t ter now s i r ? asked o ne ,

of t he pa rty f M urp h y
,
o .

“ Co n siderably t h an k yo u wh is ky pu nch s ir is
, ; , ,

about t h e best cu re for bruises o r dislocation s a m an

can k fta e
’

“ I d oubt that s i r said a litt l e m at ter f fac t man

, ,
-
o -

w ho had n ow i nterposed his reason able doubt s for t he

t went ieth t ime du r ing M u r p h y s various extra v agant ’

de la r ations an d t he i nterru pt io n o n ly m ade M u rphy

c ,

ro man ce the mo re .

Y ou speak o f yo ur fi e ry D bli stu ff Si r bu t o u r u n , ;

cou n t ry wh isky is as m ild as m ilk and far more whole ,

so me ; then si r our fin e air alon e wou ld c ure half t he

, ,
”
co mplai nts witho ut a g rain of phys ic .

I doubt that s ir ! said t h e l ittle m an

, .

I assu r e you si r a frien d o f my own from t ow n

, ,

came down here last s p r ing on c r u tch es and fro m ,

me r ely followi ng a light w h isky diet an d s leep ing w ith

h is wi nd ow open h e was able to dance at th e r ace bal l
,

i n a fortn ight ; as for t h i s k nee of m ine it s a t r i fl e ,

’

t h oug h it was a bad u pset t oo ”

.

“
How d id i t happen s ir ? Was i t yo ur h ors e — o r ,

your harness or your gig — o r

None 0 them s i r ; it was a B a nrb e e
’

, .

A Ban shee ! said the little man ; “ wha t s t hat ?

” ’

A pecu l iar sort o f s u pern atu ral c reatu r e t ha t is com

mon h e r e si r S he was s quatted dow n o n on e s ide o f
, .

t h e r oad an d my m a r e s h ied at h er and b eing a Spi rited

, ,

l i ttle t h ing sh e a t tem pted to j u m p the d itch an d m issed

,
”
i t i n the d ark .

“
Jum p a d i tch w ith a g ig after her s ir ? said t h e
,
”
,

little man .

O h com mon enough t o do that h er e s ir ; she d

, ,
’

ha v e done it easy in t h e d ayl ight bu t she c ou ld n ot ,

measu re h er d istance in the d a r k a nd ban g sh e went ,

i nto t h e ditch but it s a t r i fle after a ll I am gener ’

, .

ally r un o v er fou r or fiv e ti mes a y ear ”

.
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 5 1

“ A nd yo u a l iv e t el l i t said t h e l i ttle ma n i
to ! n
,
n

cred u lous ly .

“
I t s ha rd ’
k il l us here sir we are u s e d t o
to , , ac
”
C id e nt s .

“
W el l t he wo rs t acciden t I e ve r h eard f sai d
, o , o ne

o f t he c itize n s happe n ed to a friend f m i n e wh o

,
“
o ,

wen t t o v isit a frien d o f h is a S u nd ay and al l t h e on ,

fami ly h ap pened to be a t ch u rc h so d r i v ing i n t o t h e on

yard t he re w n o to t ake h is horse therefore h e

as on e ,

u nde rtoo k t he o ffi c e f o stler h im se l f bu t be ing u n usedo ;

to th e d u t y he most incau tiously t ook ff t h e ho rse s
, o
’

b rid le b efore u ny oki ng h i m from h i gig an d t h e a ni s ,

mal mak ing a fu rio us p l u nge forward

,
my fr i e n d
bei n g be fo re h i m a t t he tim e t h e sh aft f the gig o

wa s dri ve n t h rough hi body an d i n t o th e coach hous e s ,

-

gate behi nd h im and s t u ck fast t h at the horse cou ld

,
so

not d rag it a ft er a nd i n t h i s d read ful s it ua t ion th ey

o ut ;
remained u nti l t h e fam i l y re t urned fro m hu rch a n d w c ,
sa

t he awfu l occ u rren ce A serv a nt was d espatched for a .

do c t o r an d t h e s haft was d isengaged an d d rawn ou t f

, ,
o

t he man s body — j us t at t he pit f t he stomach h e was

’
o ;
laid o n a bed an d e v e ry t h ough t f co urse h e mus t
,
o ne o

d ie a t o nc e bu t he di d ,
an d t h e doctor c am e n ex t d ay n t
’

; ,

an d h e w dead d i d w ha t he cou ld for hi m

as n t
’
— a nd ,

to m ake a long s t ory sho r t s ir the man reco v ered , ,

.

Poo h l pooh l said th e d im i n utiv e doub te r .

“ I t tru e said th e narrator

’
s ,
”
.

“
I make n o do ubt f i t i said M u rphy Io ,
s r,

k n ow a more ex t rao r di na y c ase f reco v ery myself r o .

I beg your pa rdon i said t he c it I ha v e not

, s r,
”
;
fi nished my sto ry ye t f the mo s t ex t rao rdi n a ry part f ,
or o

t he story re mains t o b e t o ld my fr ien d i was a very ; , s r,

sickly man be fore t he acc id ent hap pene d a w y s i kly r c

m an an d afte r t hat acciden t h e be cam e a h a l e h ea l thy

,

m an Wh a t do you t h i n k f that i
. o ,
s r

I t does not su rp r i se m e i n the l eas t i said , s r,

M urphy I ca n accou n t f i t readi ly

;
“ or .
”
3 16 Ha n dy A n dy
Well s i r I , ,
n e v er h eard i t acco unted
for t ho ugh I ,

k now i t to be true ; I shou ld l ike to hear how y o u

”
acco un t for it ?
“ Very si mply s ir sai d M u rphy ; do n t y o u per
,
“
,
’

c e iv e t he m an d isco v e r ed a mi n e o f health by a r/m ft

bei ng sun k i n the pit of h is sto m ach ?
M u r p h y s pu nni ng sol utio n o f t he cau se o f cu re was
’

me rrily rece i v ed by t he com pany whose c rit ical taste ,

was not of that a ff ected n at u r e wh ich des pis e s je u d e mat s ,

and will n ot be satisfied u nde r a je u d e spr z t ; t he l itt le

’
’

doubt ing man alone refused t o b e p leased .

I doubt t he v alue o f a pu n a lways s ir D r John , . .

s o n said si r
,
“ I know said M u rphy that the man wh o would
,

make a pu n would p i ck a pocket ; t h at s o ld s ir bu t ’

, ,

i s dea r ly rem emb e red b v al l th ose w ho can not make

pu n s t h emsel v es ”
.

”
Exactly said on e o f the party th ey cal led Wiggi n s
,
.

“ I t is t h e old sto ry o f the fox a nd the grapes D id you .

e v e r hear si r th e story o f t he fox an d the grapes

, ,
The
fox one day was
”
Yes y es said M urphy wh o fond o f absu rdity as
, , , ,

he was could n ot stand th e fox and t he g rapes by way

,

o f somet h i ng n ew .

They re so ur said t he fox

’

, .

Yes said M u r phy a capit al story

, , .

O h them fab les is s o good

,
said Wiggi n s .

A l l no n sense I said t h e d imi n u ti v e cont rad ic t or .

Nonsense nothi ng b ut n onsense ; the rid icu lous

,

stu ff of bi rd s an d b e asts sp e aki ng ! As i f any on e cou ld

belie v e such stu ff .

“
I d o — fi rmly for o n e s aid M urphy , .

You d o ? said t he l ittle m an .

I do and d o you kn ow why

I can not i ndeed co ncei v e said t he l it t le ma n w it h
”
, ,

a bitter g r in .

“
It is si r because I myself k now a case tha t o c
, ,

cu rr ed in th is v ery co u nt ry o f a s im ilar n atu re .

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 7 1

D y owan t t o make m e be l i e v e y
ou k n e w a fox ou

t ha t Spok e i ? said t he m ann i ki n a l mos t ri s i ng i n t o

,
s r ,

ange r .

M any sir sa id M u rphy

, ,
many , .

Well ! aft e r t hat sa id t he l i t t le ma n .

B ut t h e c as e I i m m ed ia t ely a ll ud e t o i s n o t o f a fo x ,

b u t a ca t said M u rphy
, .

A ca t Oh yes t o be su re
,
a c a t Speak in ,

deed said th e l itt l e ge nt lem an .

“
I t is a fac t s ir sai d M urphy ; a nd i f t he com
”
, ,

pany wou ld n o t obj ec t t o my r el ating t he s t ory I wi l l ,

s t a t e t he pa rt ic ulars ”
.

Th e proposa l was rece iv e d w i t h acc l ama t io n ; an d

M u rphy i n grea t e nj oy m en t o f t he l ittle m an s an noy
,
’

an c e c l eare d h i s t h roa t an d mad e all t h e p re para t ory

, ,

d e mo n strations o f a regu lar r a con t e ur ; b u t b e fore h e ,

b e ga n h e r e com m e n ded t he gen tle m e n t o m i x fr e s h

,

t u mb l ers a l l rou n d t ha t t h ey m igh t hav e n o t h i ng t o d o

b u t l is t e n and d ri n k s i l e ntl y Fo r o f al l t h ings i n t h e
.

wor l d said M u rt o u g h
,
”
I hat e a so n g o r a s t o ry t o b e
,

i nt errup t ed by th e ra t t l e o f S poo ns ”
.

They obeyed an d wh i l e t hey ar e mi x ing t he ir pu n ch ,

we wi l l jus t tu rn o v er a fresh pag e an d d e vo te a ne w ,

Chap te r t o t h e fo l l owi ng
M A R V E LL O U S L E G E N D
 C HAP T ER XXI I I

M U RT O U G H M U RP H Y '
8 S T RYO ;

B E I NG

Y E M A R V E LL O U S L E G E N D O F T O M C O NN O R ’

S CAT

H ERE was a man i n these parts s i r you m us t , ,

k now called T o m Con n o r an d he had a c a t

, ,

th at was equ al to a ny doze n o f rat traps an d he w as -

p roud of t h e baste and w ith rayson for she wa s worth

,

he r weig h t i n goold to h i m i n s a v ing his sack s o f meal

from the t hi e v ery o f the rats and m ice ; fo r Tom was
an extensi ve dealer i n co r n an d i n fl uen ced the r ise and
,

fal l of tha t a rt icle i n t h e market to the exten t o f a ful l ,

doze n of sacks at a ti me w hi ch h e e ither kept o r sold

, ,

as t h e S pirit o f free t r ad e or mo nopoly cam e ov e r hi m .

I nd eed at o ne t ime To m had se r ious thoughts o f a p

, ,

p ly i ng to the governm ent for a m ilita ry force to p r ot e ct

h is g ra na” r y w hen there was a th reatened fam in e i n t h e
cou nty .

Pooh pooh sir sai d th e m atter o f fact littl e

,
- -

man as i f a dozen sack s c ou ld be o f th e s mal lest con

sequence in a w h ole c ou n t y pooh pooh
Well s ir said M u r p hy I can t help i f y o u d on t
, ,
”
,
’ ’

belie v e ; but i t s t r ut h w h at I am te lling y o u an d p r ay

’

do n t i nte rr u pt me t h oug h you may not beli e v e by the

’

t ime t h e sto ry s done you 11 h a v e h ea r d mo re wonder

’ ’

ful t h ings t h an t b a t and bes id es re me mber y o u re a

, ,
’

st r ange r in t h ese parts and ha v e n o noti on o f th e extra

,

o rd i na ry t h i ngs p h y sical metaphysi ca l and m agical

, , , ,

w h ich constitute the idiosy nc r asy o f ru ral des t i ny ”

.
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 9 1

T h e l i ttle m an d id no t kn ow t he mea n in g f M ur o

phy s l as t s e n t ence —
’
M u rp hy e i t h e r b u t hav i n g
no r ; ,

s t op ped th e l i ttle m a n s t h roat w i t h big wo rds b p ’

,
e ro

ce e d d e

Th i s ca t i you m u s t k now was a grea t p e t an d

, s r, , ,

w as so u p to e ve ry t hing t ha t T m s wore h was m ,

o s e a
’
o st

l i ke a C hris t ian o n l y s he co uld s peak and had ,

n t
’

,
so

se n sib le a l oo k i n h er ey es t ha t he was sar t in s u re the ,

cat k new ev ery word th a t was s ai d he r We l l h to .

,
s e

u sed to i by h i m at b reak fas t ev ery mo rni n g and t h e

s t ,

eloqu en t coc k f h er t ai l as she u s e d t o rub agai nst h is

o ,

leg said Giv e m e so m e m i l k To m C o n n or as p l ai n

, , , ,
’

a s pri nt an d t h e pleni t u de f h er pu rr a fte rwards s poke a

, o

gra t i t ude beyo n d l anguage W e ll m orni ng T m .

,
on e ,
o

was goin g t h e neighbou ri ng t own

to m arke t and to ,

he had p rom is e d t h e w i fe t o bring hom e shoes t o th e

c h i l d re out t h e price f th e corn and s u re enough
’
o
’
o ; ,

b e fore h e dow n to b r e akfas t t he re was T m tak ing

s at ,
o

t he m eas ure f t he ch i l dren s feet by c ut t i ng notc hes

o
’

,
on

a b i t f sti ck an d th e w i fe gave h i m so m a n y cau t io ns

o ;
abou t get t ing a n a t e fi t f B il ly s p u rty fee t th a t ’
or
’

,
’

T m in h is anx ie t y t o n ic k t he c l oses t possib l e m easu re

o , ,

cut ff t h e chi l d s
o Tha t d isturbed t he harm ony
’
t oe .

o f t h e par t y and T m was ob liged , breakfas t a l on e

o to ,

wh ile t he m o t her was ende avouring cu r e B i l ly i n to ;

sh ort t y i ng t o make a b l f hi
,
r W e l l i al l t h e ea o s t oe . , s r,

t im e Tom w as tak ing m e asu r e for t he s ho e s t he ca t ,

was o b s er v ing h i m w ith t ha t lu mi nou s pec uliari t y f ey e o

fo r w h ic h h e r t ribe is remarkab l e an d w hen T m s a t ; o

down to breakfast the ca t rubbed u p again s t h i m more

v igo rous ly t han us ua l b u t T m bei ng b ewi l dere d ; o ,

between h i s ex pec t ed gai n i n corn and t he pos it ive l oss

f h i s c h ild s t oe kep t n e ver mi n di ng he r u nti l t h e ca t
’
o , , ,

w i th a sor t f ca t erwaul ing grow l gav e T m a d ab f

o ,
o o

h e r c laws th at we n t cl ea n t h r ough h i s l ea t hers a n d a

, ,

l ittle fu rt her W w say s T m w ith a j u mp c l ap

.
‘
o o , ,

p i n g h is ha n d t h e part a nd rubbi n g i t by t his a n d

on , ,
3 20 Ha n dy A n dy
tha t y o u d r e w t h e blood o u t 0 m e say s T o m ; y o u
,
’

,
’ ‘

w ic ked d iv ll — t is h — go along ! says b e m aki ng a ’

,

kick at her With t hat t h e ca t ga v e a re proachfu l look

.

at h im a nd her eyes glared j ust li ke a pai r o f ma il coach

,
-

lam ps i n a fog W ith that si r the cat w i t h a my s .

, , ,

t e r io u s mi— aw fi xed a m ost pen etrati ng glan ce o n T o m

’

, ,

an d d ist inctly u ttered h is n ame .

T o m felt eve ry hair o n hi s h e ad as st i ff as a pu m p

hand le ; and scarcely cred iti ng h is ears he ret u rn ed a ,

search ing look a t the cat who v e ry qu i e t l y proc e eded i n ,

a sort o f nasal t wan g

Tom Co n nor say s s h e ,
’
.

The Lord b e good t o m e say s T o m i f i t is n t ,

‘ ’

s pa k in she i s l
’

T o m Con no r says sh e again

’
.
,

Yes ma am say s T o m
‘
,
’

,
’
.

Com e here say s She ; whisp e r — I wan t t o t al k

,
’

to you Tom says s h e th e l ast e tast e i n pri vate says

, ,
’

, ,
’

S he rising o n her hams an d bec ko n i ng h i m with her ,

paw o u t o t he door wit h a w in k a nd a t os s o t h e h e ad

’

,
’

a i u a l to a m ill iner
q .

Well as you m ay su ppose T o m d i d n t kn ow

, ,
’

whether h e was o n his head or hi s he el s b u t h e fol lowed ,

th e cat an d o ff sh e went and s quatted herself u n der t h e

,

edge o f a li tt le paddock a t the back o f Tom s house ; ’

and as he came round t he corne r sh e he l d u p her paw ,

agai n an d l a id it o n h er mouth a s m uc h as t o s a y B e
, , ,

cautious Tom , Well d iv il a word To m cou ld s ay at

.
’

all with th e fr igh t s o u p h e go e s t o t h e cat an d say s

, , ,

s he

Tom say s s h e I ha v e a gr ea t res pec t for you

,
’

, ,

and t h er e s so me t h ing I mu st te l l y ou b e c a se you re

’

,
’

los ing charac t er with you r neighbou rs say s s he by ,

’
,
‘

you r go in s on says she an d i t s o u t o t he res pec t t hat

’

,
’

,
’ ’

I ha v e for you t ha t I mu st te ll you says sh e , ,

’
.

T h an k you ma am says To m ,
’

,
’
.

“
Yo u r e goi n o ff t o t he t own says sh e ‘ t o b uy
‘ ’ ’

,
’

,
3 22 Ha n d y A n d y
Ta r e a n says Tom wha t 11beco me me
’
ou ns ,
’
0
’

i f I m to get S h oes for my cat s ? say s he fo r you i

’
,
n

c rease you r fam ily fou r t imes a y d you ha v e six o r e a r, a n

se v en y t me says
ey er h e an d t hien yo u must
,
’
all hav e
w pa r a pi ece wi rr a ! wi rr a l I ll be ru i ned i n
’
t o i — —

s h oe leat h e r say s To m
-

,
’
.

No more
“ ‘ your stu ff say s th e cat 0 do n t be
’

,
’

;
‘ ’

Stand in here u nd h er the hedge talki n o r we 11 lose ou r

’ ’

,
’

k h
a ra c t — for I v e rem arked yo u r w ife i s jealous
e rs
’

Tom .
’

Po n my sowl that s t h ru e say s T o m wit h a sm i rk

’

,
’

,
’
, .

Mo r e fool she says t h e cat for pon my co n ,

’

,
‘
,
’

science Tom you re as ugly as i f you wo r bes poke

, ,
’
.
’

“
O ff ra n t h e cat with t h ese words leav ing To m i n ,

amazem ent H e said n oth ing to t he fam ily fo r fe ar o f

.
,

f r ig h t n in g them and o ff h e went to the f aw n as he

’

, ,

p r e t e nded for h e saw th e ca t watch i ng h im t h rough a

hole in t h e h edge ; but wh en he came to a tu rn a t t h e
end o f t h e road t h e d ic kin g s a m i nd h e m i nded th e
,

market good or bad but wen t o ff to S qu i re B ot h e ru m s

, ,
’

the ma g ist h r it to swa r e exami n at ion s age n th e cat

,
”
.

Poo h ! pooh n o nsense ! b r oke i n t h e l it t l e

-

man w h o had listened t h us far to M u rt o u gh with an

,

exp r essio n o f mingled wonder an d con tempt w h ile the ,

rest of t h e pa rty w illi ngly ga v e u p t h e rei ns to n onsense ,

a nd enjoyed M u rt o u g h s Legend and thei r com pan io n s ’ ’

m ore absu r d com mon sen se .

D on t i nterru pt h im Goggi ns sai d M ister” Wigg in s

’

, , .

H ow can you listen to s uch no nse nse ? retu rned

G oggins S”wear exam i natio ns agai ns t a cat i ndeed !
“
.
,

poo h ! pooh !
My dea r si r said M u rt o u g h remember this is a
, ,

fair sto r y and t h at t h e co unt r y all arou nd h ere is fu ll o f

,

enchant men t A s I was tel ling you T o m we nt o ff to

.
,

swear exam i nat i on s .

“
A y ay sh ou t ed all but Goggins ; “ go on wi th
,

the sto r y ”
.
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 23

“ A n d w he n T o m was ask e d t o r el a t e t h e e ve nt s o f
t he morn i ng wh ich b rough t h im b e fore S qu ire B o t he ru m
, ,

his b rain was so bewi l dered be t we e n h i s corn an d h is ,

c a t an d h i s ch i l d s t o e t ha t he m ade a v e ry con fus e d

,
’

accou n t o f i t .

B e gi n you r s t o ry from t h e b egi nn i ng sai d t h e mag ,

’

ist rat e to T o m .

“ ‘ Well y ou r ho no u r says Tom I was goi n t o

,
‘
,
’

,
’

m ark e t t his mo rn in t o sel l th e ch i ld s co rn — I b e g

’

,
’

you r pa rd n — my o wn toes I ma ne S i r
’

, ,
.
’

S el l yo u r t oes ! s ai d t h e S qu ir e .

N o s ir t aki n t h e ca t t o marke t I m an e
’

, , ,

Tak e a ca t t o m arke t sa i d t h e S q ui re Yo u re .
’

d ru nk m an
, .
’

N o yo ur ho nour o n ly co n fused a l i ttl e ; f o r whe n

, ,

t he toes bega n t o spake t o m e — t h e ca t I m an e — I ,

was bo t he red c lan e

Th e ca t S peak t o y o u sa id t h e S q u i re Ph e w ! .

wo rse t han before — y ou t e d ru nk T o m ’

,
.
’

No yo u r h on o u r ; i t s o n t he s t re n gt h o f t h e c a t I
,
’

co m e t o S pake t o y o u
I t h i nk i t s o n t h e s t re n g t h o f a p in t o f w hi sky
’

T om
By t h e v a rt u e 0 m y o a t h you r ho n ou r i t s no t h i n
’
, ,
’ ’

bu t t he c at A n d so T o m then t o l d hi m a ll ab out t h e a f
.
’

fa ir and t he S qu ire was regularly as t o n ished J ust then

,
.

t h e b is ho p o f t h e d iocese an d t he p ries t o f t h e pari sh hap

pened t o call i n a n d h eard th e s t ory ; and t he bisho p a nd
,

t he pries t h ad a t ough argu m ent f o r t wo ho u rs o n t h e

s ubject ; t h e form e r sw e ari n g s h e m u s t b e a wi t ch b ut
t he pri es t denying t ha t a n d main t a i ni n g sh e was only e n
,

chanted ; a n d t h a t par t o f t h e argu me nt was aft e rward s

r e ferred t o t h e pri ma t e an d subsequen t ly t o th e con c l a v e
,

a t Ro me ; b u t t h e Pope dec l ined in t erferi ng abou t ca t s ,

say i ng he had qu it e e no ugh t o do m ind i n g his o wn bu ll s .

I n the m e an t i m e what ar e w e t o do wi t h t h e c a t
,

say s B o t h e ru m .
 Ha n dy A n dy
B ur n h e r say s th e b isho p sh e s a witc h
,
’
,
’
.
’

O n ly enchanted said the p r iest a nd t h e e cc l e

’

s ia st ic a l cou rt mai nt ai n s tha t

“‘
Bother the ecclesiast ical cour t ! said t he m agis ’

t r ate ; I can only proceed o n t he Stat u t es ; and wit h

‘ ’

t h at he pulled down all th e law books i n h is l ibra ry and -

h u nted the laws from Q ueen Eliz abeth dow n an d h e ,

found that th ey made laws again s t every thi ng i n I rela n d ,

e x cep t a ca t Th e d e v il a thi ng e sca ped t hem bu t a cat

.
,

wh ich d id n ot co m e withi n t h e m ean ing o f any ac t o f par

l ia me n t t he ca t : on ly b a d e sca p e d .

The r e s t h e a l ien act to b e su re said the m agis

’

, ,
’

t rate and perhaps she s a Fren ch s py i n d isgu ise

,
’

, .
’

“
‘
S he s pakes l ik e a Fren ch s py s ur e e noug h say s , ,
’

To m ; a nd sh e was miss in I r e m e mber all las t S py

‘ ’

, ,

Wednesd ay .
’

Th at s su spiciou s say s t he squ ir e

’
bu t c o n v ic
,
’

tion migh t b e d ifli c u lt ; an d I h av e a fr e sh idea says ,

’

B o t h e ru m .

Faith i t wo n t ke e p fresh l o ng th i s ho t weather

’

,
’

, ,
’

says Tom ; so y ou r honour had b e t t he r make u se o f it

at wanst .
’

Right says B o t h e ru m
,
’
we 11 mak e h e r subjec t ,
’

t o the game l aws ; w e 11h un t her says h e ’

,
’
.

Ow elega nt ! say s T o m w e ll h ave a ’ ’

bra v e ru n o u t o f her .
’

“‘
M eet me a t the cross roads say s th e S quir e i n ,
’
,
‘

th e morn ing and I ll ha v e t he b o u n d s r e ady

,
’
.
’

Wel l o ff To rn went h ome ; an d he was racki ng h is

,

brai n wh at ex cuse he cou ld make to t h e cat f o r not bring

i ng the s hoes ; and at last h e hi t one o ff j u st as he sa w ,

he r cante r i ng u p to h im h alf a m ile before h e got ho me ,

- -
.

Whe r e S the Sho e s To rn says s h e

’

,
.

I ha v e n ot got the m to day ma am says h e -

,
’

,
’
.

“‘
Is that t h e way yo u keep you r prom ise T o m ? ,
’

says sh e ; — I l l tell yo u w hat it is T o m— I ll tare

‘ ’

,
’

th e eyes ou t o th e childre i f y ou don t ge t m e sho e s

’ ’ ’
.
’
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 5 2

Wh ish t ! w his h t ! s ays T m fright ene d f o ,

ou t o

his l i fe for hi s ch i l dre n s e y e s D on t b e i n a passion ’

.
’

pussy Th e shoem aker said h e had n o t a s ho e i n h i s

.

s hop ,
a l as t t ha t w ou l d make
n or to fit y an d on e ou ;
h e says I m u st b ri ng y
,
i nt o t h e t ow n f h i m t o t ake ou or

you r measu re .
’

A n d wh en a m I g ? say s t h e ca t l ook in g to o
’

s avag e .

T morrow say s T m
’
o -

,
o .

‘
I t w el l y said tha t T m sa id t h e ca t
’
s ou th e ,
o ,
’
, or

d ev i l an ey e I d l eav e i n yo u r fam i l y t his n igh t — a nd

’

o ff sh e h op p e d .

T m h imb l d a t t he w ic ked l ook h gav e

o t r e s e .

Remembe r ! say s h ov e r t h e hedg e w i t h a s e, ,

b i tt er ca te rwau l .

Nev e r fear say s T m ,

’
o .

W e ll s ur e e no ugh t he nex t m o mi n t h e r e was t h e

, ,
t
’

ca t a t coc k c row l icki ng herse l f as n a t e as a new p i n t o

-

, ,

go i n t o t h e t ow n and cam e T m wi t h a bag u n dh e

,
out o r

h is arm a n d t he ca t afth er him

,
.

N w g i t in t o t h i s an d I ll carry y i nt o t h e ’
o ,
ou

t own say s T m O pe n ing t h e bag

,
’
o ,
.

S u re I ca n wal k wi t h y say s t h e ca t ‘

ou ,
’
.

O h t ha t wou l d ,
d say s T m t he peo p l e i ’
n t o,
’
o ; n .

t he t own i cu rio us an d l dh s peop l e an d s ur e i t s an e ro u s ,

wou ld rise ug ly r e marks i f I w s een wi t h a c a t aft her as

me -
d og i a m an s com pa n io n by n a t ure b c at
a s
’

,
ut s

do e s n o t s t an d rayson to .
’

We ll t h e ca t seeing t he r e w as n o
,
i n a gu me n t
,
u se r ,

got i n t o t h e bag an d ff T m to t h e c ro s road

, o o se t s s

wi t h t h e bag ov e r h is s hou lde r a n d he cam e u p q i , ,

u te
in n ocen t lik -
t h e c or ne r wh ere t h e S qu ire an d h is
e, to , ,

h u nt s man an d t h e hou nds an d a pac k

, p e o p l e were ,
0
’

w iia t n
’
. O u t cam e t h e S qu ir e a s ud de n j us t if on ,
as

i t w a ll by acc id e n t
as .

G d sav e y T m say s h e
’
o ou , o .
,

G d sav e y ki n dly i say s T m ’

o ou , s r, o .

v o r. .
— n . z
 Ha n dy A n dy
What s ’
tha t bag you h av e a t your
back ? says ’

t h e S qu ire .

O h noth in at all s i r say s Tom

,
mak i n a fac e
’
, ,
’ ’

al l th e t ime as much as to say I ha v e her safe

, , .

O h t h e r e s somethi ng i n that bag I t h i nk says

,
’
, ,
’

t he S qu ire ; and y ou m ust le t me see it .

’

I f y o u b e t h ray me T o m Con no r says t he cat in , ,

’

a low v oice by t h is and th at I ll ne v er spake t o y o u

,
‘ ’

again
Pon my ho nou r s i r said Tom w ith a wi n k an d
’
, ,
’
,

a tw itc h o f his t hu mb towa rds the bag I have n t any ,

‘ ’

t hi ng in i t .
’

I ha ve bee n m iss ing my prati es o f late says the

’
“ ‘
,

S qu i re ; a nd I d j us t l ike t o exam ine that bag say s he

’

,
’
.

Is it doubting my c h a ra c k t h e r y o u d be s ir ? says ’

,
’

Tom pretending to be i n a passi on

,
.

Tom y ou r sow l says t he vo ic e i n t h e sack if

,
‘
,

y ou le t t he ca t ou t of t b e bag I l l m u rther y o u
’ ’
.
,
“
A n hones t m an wo uld m ake n o obj ection t o be
‘

s a rc h e d sai d the S quir e ; and I i nsis t o n it say s h e

,
’ ‘
,
’

lay i ng hold 0 t he bag and Tom p u rt e n d in g to figh t all

’

t h e t ime ; bu t my j ewel ! before two m i nut e s th ey

, ,

s h ook the cat o ut o the b ag s u re e no ugh and o ff she ’

, ,

went w ith her tail as b ig as a swee p ing brush an d th e ,

S qu i r e w it h a t h u nderi ng v iew halloo a fter h er c lapt

, ,

t h e dogs a t h er h eels an d away t hey we nt fo r t h e bar e ,

li fe Ne v er was the r e seen s uc h ru n n ing as t hat day

.

t h e cat made for a s h ak ing bog the loneliest place i n the ,

w hole cou n t ry and t he r e th e riders were al l th row n out

, ,

ba rr i n the h u ntsm an who h ad a web foo t ed horse o n

’

,
-

pu r pose for so ft places ; and the priest whose h o rse ,

could go anyw h ere by reason o f the pries t s b lessi ng ; ’

a nd s u r e en ough the hun tsman an d h i s riv e r e n c e stuc k

, ,

to t h e hun t l ike wax ; and j ust a s th e c a t go t o n the

border o f the bog t hey s a w her gi v e a t wis t a s t h e fore ,

most dog c losed wit h her for h e ga v e h er a n ip i n th e ,

fl ank S til l sh e wen t o n how ev er an d headed them

.
, ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 7 2

well t owards a n ld m ud cab in i n t h e m idd le f t h e

,
o o

b g an d t h e r e t h e y
o , w h e r j um p i n a t t h e w i ndow an d
sa ,

u
p cam e t h e dogs t h e n e x t m i n it a n d ga t her e d rou n d ,

t h e hous e w i t h t h e mos t horrid h ow l ing e v e r was h e ard .

T h e hu nt sm a n a l igh t ed and w e n t i n t o t h e hou se ,

t u rn to
t h e ca t agai n wh en w ha t s ho u l d he
out ,
bu t a n ld se e o

hag ly ing in b e d i n t h e co r n er ?
D id y a ca t c om e i n h e re ? s ay s h e
ou se e
’
.

Oh — — ,
no s q u e a l ed t he ld b g i n a
o o— o o a ,

t r e mb l ing voic e t h e r e ca t h e re says h

;
‘ ’
s no ,
’
s e.

Ye l p ye l p y el p ! w e n t t h e dogs outsid e
, , .

O h k e e p t h e dogs
, t hi s says t he ld hag out 0
’

,
’
o
‘
oh— — — o a n d th e hun t s man w her ey es g l are
o o sa

u n der t h e b l ank e t j u s t l ik e a ca t s ,
’
.

H il l o t h e h u nt s man pu l l i n g do w n t h e
sa 5 ,

b l an k e t — a n d wh a t S hou ld h e b u t t h e ld h ag s se e o
’

fl an k a ll i n a go r e f b lood o .

Ow w ! y ,
l d d i il
o is i t y ? y
ou o oul d v ou ou

ca t ! s ays h e op en i n g t he doo r
’
, .

I n rush e d t h e dogs — p j u mped t he ld hag an d

“
u o ,

c h angi n g in t o before t h e ir ey e s
a e at h d ar t ed ,
ou t s e

t hrough t h e w i n do w agai n a n d mad e ano t h e r run f i t , or ;

b u t h cou l d
s e es cape an d t h e dogs gobbl e d h er w h i le
n t
’

y ou co u l d y J ac k Rob
sa in
‘
so Bu t t h e m os t r e m ark n .
’

able par t f t hi s e x t rao rd in ary s t ory ge n t le m e n i t ha t

o , , s,

t h e p ac k w ru in e d from t h a t day ; f aft er h avi ng

as ou t or

eat en t he e nch a nte d cat b d il i i g b y w ld ,

t c ev a t r n t e ou e v er

b u nt f
a t e rwa r ds bu t mice .
 C HA PT E R XXI V

U RPH Y S s t o ry was recei v ed w ith acc l a mati o n

’

by all b u t t h e little ma n .

That is all a pac k o f n ons en se said h e ,

.

Well yo u re we l come t o it s ir sai d M u rphy

,
’

, , ,

and i f I h ad gr eater non sen se y ou shou ld ha ve i t ; but

s e riously si r I agai n m ust beg you to remember t h at
, ,

t h e cou n try al l arou n d here aboun ds i n en chan tmen t ;

scarcely a n igh t passes w ithout som e fairy frolic ; b ut ,

h ow e ver you may d oub t th e wonderful fac t o f the cat

Speakin g I won der y o u are not im pressed with t he
,

points o f m oral i n wh i c h th e sto ry abounds

Fidd lestick said th e m in iat u re snar l er .

Fi rst the litt le tou ch abou t th e corn mo n O p o ly 1

,

then matern al v an ity chastised by t h e l os s o f t h e c h ild s ’

toe t h en Tom s fami lia r ity with h is cat s howing t h e

’

danger a r is ing from a m an maki ng t o o fr ee w it h h i s

female domest ics the h istorica l poi nt about t h e penal
laws th e fatal resu lts of l ett i ng th e ca t o u t o the bag ’

w it h t he cu rious fina l fact i n natu ral h istory

“
It S al l n onsense sai d th e li t t l e m an a n d I a m
’ ”
, ,

as h amed o f myself for be in g suc h a fool a s to s it al isten -

i ng to such stu ff i nstead o f going to bed after the fatigu e ,

o f my jou r ney an d t h e necessity o f risi n g early to m or -

row to be i n good tim e at t h e pol l ing

,
”
.

O h ! th e n you re go ing to the e l e c t ion si r

’
s aid ,

M u r phy .

Yes s i r , t h e re s som e s e nse i n t b a t

’
a nd y ou ,

1
H a d y A d y w a s wri t t wh t h v d q u st i o o f t h
n n en en e ex e e n e

C r La ws w a s t h all a bs rbi g subj ct f d is cussi n

o n e -
o n e o o .
3 30 Ha n dy A n dy
O h it s no t the b e n coc k I man e Sir sa id th e
,
’
, ,

gossoon but the beer cock — she was bati n t h e coc k

,
’

i nto the bar re l s ir wid t h e bootjac k s ir

, , , .

T h at was dec idedly wrong ”

said M u rphy ; a ,

bootj ack i s better suit e d to a hee l ta p than a ful l -

measu r e .

“ S he was tappi ng t h e b ee r o u m ean ? ”

sai d t h e
y ,

little m an .

Faix she was n t t appi ng i t a t al l s ir but h it t in i t

,
’

, ,
’

very h a r d she was an d that s the way she bru k it

, ,
’ ”
.

“
Barbari an s ! exc l aimed t he l itt l e m an ; u sing a
” “

bootjac k in stead o f a ham m e r !

S ure the h ammer w as gon e ”to t h e pries t sir ; b e kas e ,

he wan ted i t for the cruc ifix ion .

“ The c ru ci fix ion
!
”
exc l ai med the litt l e man h o rri ,

fied ; “
i s i t possib le they c ru ci fy people
O h no s ir said th e gossoon gri n n ing it s t h e
, , ,
’

ic t h u re I main s i r— a n i lli a n t ic t h u re t h a t i s h u ng
p , g p
u p i n t he c hapel and h e wanted a ham mer t o dh riv e t he
,

n ai l s
O h a p ict u r e o f the c ru c ifix ion said th e l ittle m an
, , .

Yes sure s ir t he a lt h e r piece that was a lt h e re d

, ,
-

for to fit to the plac e for it was too b ig wh en i t c ame ,

down fro m D ublin so they cu t o ff the sides where the

,

s o e r s was b e k a se it stop t o u t the w indows an d would n t

j
’

, ,

la v e a b it 0 l ig h t for h i s ri ve re n c e to read mass ; an d

’

su re th e soje rs were no loss o u t o the a lt h e r piece a nd ’

-

was h u n g u p aft h er in the v e s t h e ry and se r v e them ,

right t he blackguards B ut it was sore agen o u r w i ll

, .

to cut o ff t h e ladi es a t the bottom th at was c ry in and ,

’

r oari n ; but g r eat good l uck the head 0 t he B lessed

’

,
’

V i r gi n was p re s a rv e d i n the corner and su re i t S b ea uti ,

’

fu l to see the tea r s r u n n in down her face j ust o v er t he ’

hole i n th e wal l for th e holy wa t her w h ich is t e

ma r kabl e .

The gossoo n was m uc h o ff e nded by t h e l aughter tha t

fol l owed hi s accou n t o f the altar pi e ce w hic h h e had n o -

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 33 1

i n tent io n f m aki n g i rr e v e r ent ial an d s udd enl y became

o ,

Si l ent w i t h a mutt e red M or e sham e f y i

,
an d as or z

h is boo tj ac k was i m pract icab le h e w se nt ff w it h ,

as o

o rders f t he ch amb e r m aid

or s u pp l y b e d c and l es i m
-
to
m edia t e l y .

The pa rt y soo n sep ara te d for t h eir v ariou s d orm i

t ori e s t he l i t tle ma n lea v in g su ndry c harges call
,
to
t hem e arly i n t h e mo rni ng an d be s u re t o h ave h ,
to ot

water ready f shav i ng and witho u t fa i l t o have th e i r

or , , ,

boots po lis h e d i n t i me and l eft a t th e i r room doo r s ;

t o al l w h ich i nj un c t ion s he s ev erally rece ived t he a n swer
o f Ce rt ai n ly i a nd the bed room doors were
, s r as -

s l app e d -
by
to, t h e las t so u nd f t he retiri ng
on e one, o

pa rt y was t he snappish v oi ce f t he i n d efa t igab le l ittl e o

man shou t i ng ere h e sh u t h is doo r

, ,
E rly — ear l y ,
a

do n t fo rge t M ist ress Kel ly

’

, ly ea r I

A s hak e dow n f M urp h y i n t h e par l ou r was h asti ly

-
or

prepare d an d a fter M ; K elly w assu r e d by M ur rs . as

t ough th at h e was qu i te co m fort ab le an d perfect ly ,

co n

t e nt w it h h i accom modat io n f wh ic h h m ad e
s ,
or s e

scor e s f apo l ogi e s wit h l am e n t a t ion s i t w n o t better

o , as ,

& c., & t he w hole ho usehol d r et i red

c , . rest and i n to ,

abo u t a qu ar t e r f a n hou r t he i n n was i n pe rfec to

s i l en ce .

T hen M g h cau t iou s l y o pen ed h i doo r a n d

u rt o u s ,

after lis t e n ing f so me m i u t es a nd be ing satisfied he

or n ,

was t h e o n ly wa t cher u n der t he roof he ge n t ly open ed ,

on e f t he parlo u r wi nd ows a n d ga v e t h e p r econcerted

o

s igna l w h ic h h e an d D i ck had agreed u po n D ic k w . as

u nder the wi ndow i m med ia t e ly an d a fter exch angin g a ,

few words w it h M g h the l atte r w ith drew

u rt o uan d t ak , ,

i g f? hi boo t s an d s cre e n i ng wi th h i s han d t he l igh t

n o s ,

o f a cand l e h e carried h e cau tio u sly asce n ded t he s t ai rs

, ,

and proceed ed stea l th i ly a l ong the co rridor f t he d orm i o

t o ry w h e re from t he c hambe rs eac h s ide a con cert

, ,
on ,

o f snorin g b e ga n b e execu ted and a t a l l t h e d oors

to ,

S t ood t h e boo t s a n d Sho e s f t h e i n ma te s awai t i n g t h e o

 33 2 Ha n dy A n dy
ai d o f D ay an d M art in i n the mor n ing B u t h ! i .
,
o n

nocen t calf sk i ns d esti ned to a far d i ff e r ent fate

- —

not D ay a nd M art i n but D ic k the D e v i l an d Company ,

are i n wait for you M u r p h y collected as many as he .

co uld ca rry u nder hi s arms and descended w ith t h em to

t h e p arlou r wi ndow where they we re t ran s fe rred to ,

D ick w h o carried the m d i r ectly to t he horse po nd

,
-

whi ch lay b eh in d t h e i n n an d t h e re com mitted t h em ,

to t h e d ee p A ft er a few jou rney s u p and d ow n stai rs

.
,

M u r oug h had left the electors w it h out a morsel f so l e

r o

or u pper leat h e r and was sati s fi ed that a co nsiderable

,

d e lay i f n ot a pre v e ntion o f t h ei r a ppearance at the poll

,

on t he m orrow would be the con sequence ,

.

There D ic k sa id M urp h y i s th e last of them

, ,
”
, ,

as b h anded the little man s sh oes

e o f t h e wi ndow ’
out ,

an d now to sa v e appea r an ces you must take m i n e

, ,

too for I m ust be w ithout boots as well as the res t i n

t h e mo r n ing What fun I shal l ha v e when the u proa r
.

begi n s don t you en v y me D i ck ? The re be ff

— ’

, , o

now but hark

: not withstandi ng you t ake away my
’
e,

boots you need n ot t h row them i nto the ho r se pon d

,
-
.
”

”
Faith an I wi ll sa id D ick d ragg ing th em ou t o f
’

,
’
, ,

h is h ands ; t wou ld n ot be ho nou rable i f I d id n t

’
,
’

I d gi v e two pai r o f boots fo r t h e fu n you ll h a ve

’ ” ’
.

Nonsen se D ick D ic k I s a y
,
my boots ,

Honou r ! c ried D ic k a s he v an ished ro u nd t he

”
,

corn er .

“
Tha t d e v i l w ill keep hi s wo rd m ut t ered M u rphy , ,

as he closed the w i nd ow — “
I may bid good bye t o t h at
pair o f boots — bad lu c k t o h i m A nd ye t t h e merry
atto r ney cou ld not hel p laugh ing a t D ick making hi m a
su ff e r er by h is own t r ick .

D ic k did keep h i s word ; an d aft e r wit h pa rticu l ar ,

delig h t si nking M u rphy s boots with the rest he as i t

,
’

, ,

was p recon ce r ted return ed to t h e cottage o f Ba r ny a nd

, ,

wit h h is ass istance d rew the u pset gig from the d itc h ,

and w ith a secon d s e t o f harness p ro vided for t h e occa ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 333

s ion yo k e d t h e s e rvan t s hors e

,
t h e veh ic le a n d d rov e
’
to
h om e .

M u rphy meanwh ile w as b e n t

,
m o r e mischie f a t t h e
,
on

i n n an d l es t the l oss of the boo t s an d S hoes m ight not b e

;
prod ucti v e f fli i o im pedi me nt t o t he mo vem en t s f
su c e nt o

the en e my h e determ in ed ,
v entu ring a s t ep fu r t h er on .

Th e h e avy sleeping f th e weary and t ipsy t rav el l e rso en

ab led hi m to e nt e r t he i r chambers u nobse rv e d a nd ov e r ,

the garm e n t s t hey h ad taken ff b po u red t he con t ent s f o e o

t he w ater j ug a nd water bott l e h e fou nd i n e ac h roo m

- -

an d t he n l ay ing t he e m pty bot t le an d a t umb ler a c hai r on

b esid e eac h s leeper s bed h e made it appea r as i f the

’
,

dru nken m e n h ad bee n d ry i n t he n igh t an d i n t hei r , ,

en

d t o cool thei r t h irs t h ad pset t he wa te r over t heir

e a vo u rs , u

o w clothes
n Th e c loth es f the l it tle m an i n partic u l ar
. o , ,

M u rphy too k es pec ia l d e ligh t i n sousi ng m o re profusely

t han h is n eighbou r s a n d n o t conte n t with t aki ng hi s
’

s ho e s b u rn t hi s Sto c ki ngs an d l eft t he ashes i n t he di sh

, ,

o f t h e cand le s t i ck w i t h j us t as m u ch u n o n su med as
,
c

woul d show wha t t h ey had bee n H e t h e n re t i red to .

t he par l ou r a nd w i t h m a ny an i n t ern a l chu ck le a t th e

,

though t f t h e m orn i ng s hubbub t h rew ff h i c lo t hes

o
’

,
o s

and fl inging h imse l f t h e shake dow n M K el ly h ad

on -
rs .

pro v ided f h im was soo n wrap t i n t h e pro fou n des t slu m

or ,

h fr o m wh ic h h e ne ve r awo ke u n t i l th e morn i ng u proa r

e r,

o f t he i n n aro used h i m H e j u m ped fro m h is l ai r an d

.

ru shed t h e scen e f ac t io n t o soa r i n t he s t orm f h i

to o ,
o s

o w raisi ng
n d m ake it m or e apparen t t hat he had
; an to
been grea t a s u ff erer
as the res t h e on ly t h rew a q u i l t
as ,

o v er hi s shou l de rs a nd d i d d raw h i stock i ngs n ot on s .

I n th is p l igh t he scal ed t he stai rs a n d jo i ned th e s t orming

party w here t h e l it l e m an was l ead i ng t he for l o r n hope
,
t ,

w i t h h is cand l es t ic k i n ha n d a n d th e rem n a nt f h is
one o

bu r nt s t ock in g b e t w e e n t he fi n g e r an d t hu mb f t h e o

oth e r .

Loo k a t t ha t Si r ! h e cri e d ,
h e h el d it u p the ,
as to
la n d lo rd .
3 34 Ha n d y A n dy
The l andlord cou l d on ly stare .

B less me ! c ried M u rphy how d ru n k you m us t

”
,
“

have been to mistake y ou r stocki ng fo r a n exti ngu ishe r ! ”

”
D ru nk s ir — I was n t d ru n k !
’

,
“ I t loo ks v e ry lik e it ” sa id M u rphy w ho d id n o t
, ,

wai t for an an swer b ut h u s t le d o ff to an oth er party w ho

,

w as wringing o u t h is i n ex p r ess ib l es at th e doo r o f his

bed r o om and sweari ng at th e gossoo n th at h e must ha ve
-

his boo t s .

“ I n ev e r s ee n t hem said th e boy

Si r , ,
.

I left th em at my doo r said t he man , .

S o d id I leave m in e said M u rphy” and h ere I am

”
, ,

barefooted — ir is m ost ext r aord i n ary .

“
H as t he house been robb e d ? sai d the innocen t
”

e lector .

“ Not a o n e 0 m e k nows s i r ! said t h e boy ; bu t

’

how cou ld i t be robbed an d the d oors al l fast t hi s

mo rn in ’

The la nd lady n o w a p peared and fir e d a t the word ,

robbed l ”

Robbed s ir ! exclai med M rs Ke l ly ; n o s ir no

, .
,

o n e was ev e r robb e d i n my h ou se my h ou se is respect

able and responsib l e s ir a v a rt u o u s house
,
none 0 ’

yo u r ran ti pole places s ir I d ha v e yo u to k now bu t

, ,
’

decent and wel l behav e d a nd th e ho us e was as qui et ,

”
as a lamb all n igh t .

“
Certain ly M r s K elly , sai d M u rphy
. no t a ,

m o r e respectable h ou se in I reland — I ll vou c h for that

” ’
.

”
“
You re a ge ntlema n M ist h e r M urphy said M rs
’

, , .

Kelly w ho tu r n ed down the passage utteri ng i nd ignan t

, ,

ejaculat ion s i n a sort of s nort ing manner w h ile her ,

wo r ds o f anger were r e turned by M u rphy w ith ex pres

sions o f soothi ng an d condolen ce as h e followed her
d own sta i r s
-
.

The sto r m st ill con ti n ued abo v e an d w hi l e the r e t hey ,

sh outed and swore and co mplained M u rp h y ga v e b i: ,

n otion o f th e cata stro ph e to the landlady be l ow in ferring ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 335

t ha t t h e m en w e r e d ru n k a n d pou red t h e wa te r ov e r
their w c lo t hes T r e pea t t h is idea t o t h e ms e lv es h e
o n . o

re -
ascended but t h e m en were i n cred u l ous The l it tle
,
.

m a n h e fou nd b u tt o n i ng a p air f b lac k gai t e rs t heon o ,

o nly serv iceab l e dece ncy he h ad at h i com man d wh ich s ,

o n ly ren dered h i d e n uded s t a t e m ore l ud ic ro us T h i m

s . o

M u rphy asser t ed h i be lie f t h a t t he who le a ff ai r w s as

en chant me n t an d v e nt ur e d t o ho pe the sm all i nd iv id ua l

,

wo u ld hav e m or e fait h i n fai ry m ac hin at ion s f the or

fu t u re wh ich t he l it t le abor t io n
; to l r et ur n ed h i on v s

u sual Ph o pho n on sen se

Th rough all t his scene f u proa r as M u rphy pass e d o ,
to
an d f w h e n e v e r h e encou ntered t h e land lo rd t ha t
ro , ,

worthy ind iv id ual t h rew h im a k now in g l oo k a n d t he ;

exc l ama t io n f Oh M i h o ,
M urphy — b y d ad !
“
,
st er
”

gi v en i n a l ow c huc k l ing tone i ns in uated t h at t h e l and ,

lord on l y smoked b u t e njoy ed t he j oke

n ot .

Y“ m u s t len d m e a pai r f boo t s K ell y

ou sa id o ,
7,

M h
u rt o u
g .

T be s u r e i — h ! h a ! ha ! — b u t y
“ o ,
s r ar e t h e
a ou

q ua re m an M i h M u rphy ,
st er

S end d ow n t h e road an d ge t my g ig
“ f t he ou t o

d i t ch .
”

T b e su re i o Poor d e v i l s ! pu t y ha n d s t h ey go t
, s r. r

i nt o a nd ff we n t t h e la n dlord w ith a c h uckl e

,
o ,
.

Th e m e ssen gers se n t f t he g ig r et u r n ed dec l ari ng or ,

t h ere was gi g b e se e n anywh ere

no to .

M u r phy a ff ec t ed great su r prise a t th e in tell ige nc e

agai n we n t amon g the bamboozl ed elec t ors w ho w er e ,

al l obl iged g b e d fo
to r w ant
o to f c l oth es a nd h i h i o ; s t

t e r lamen t at i on s over t h e loss f h is gig a l mos t r e co n o

c i led t he m t hei r m i nor t roub l es

to .

T th e fears t hey ex pr e ss e d t ha t t h e y shou l d

o be not

ab le t o reach t he t ow n i n t i m e f po ll i ng t h a t d ay or ,

M u rphy t o ld t h e m t hei r m i nd s a t re s t f th ey
to se t ,
or

wou ld b e i n t im e t h e n ex t on .

H e t h en borrow e d a s add le we ll t h e pa ir f boo t s as as o

33 6 Ha n dy A n dy
fro m t h e l andlord a nd the little bla ck m are bore M ur
,

p h y t rium phantly bac k to the t own afte r he had secu rely ,

i m pou nded S catterbrai n s v oters w h o were an xiously and ’

h ou rly ex pected by th eir fr iend s S ti l l t hey came not . .

A t last H andy A ndy who happe n ed to be i n town w ith

, ,

S catterbrai n was des patc h ed to hu rry th em an d hi s

, ,

o r ders were n o t to co me bac k w ithou t th em .

Handy o n h is arr i v al at the in n fou nd th e electo rs i n

, ,

bed an d all the fires i n t he hous e em ployed i n d ryi ng

,

thei r clothes The l itt l e m a n w r apped in a b lan ket

.
, ,

was superi ntend i ng the cook ing o f h is o wn befo re th e

k itche n g r ate ; there h u ng h is garm en ts o n some c ross
Sticks sus pended by a string after t he fash io n o f a roas t ,

i ng j ack wh ich th e small gen tlema n tu rn ed befo re a

-

b lazi ng t u rf fi r e ; and beside th is contriv an ce o f his

swung a goodly j oi nt o f m eat w hi c h a bou nci ng k itche n ,

wenc h cam e o v er to baste n ow and then .

A ndy w as an sweri ng some qu estion s o f t he i nq uis it iv e

l itt le m an when th e k itch en maid hand ing th e bast in g
, ,

lad le to An dy begged h i m t o d o a good turn and j us t to

,

baste t he bee f for he r for t ha t her heart was broke w ith ,

all sh e had t o d o cook ing d i n n er for so m any , .

A ndy a l ways ready to obl ige con se n t ed an d plied

, , ,

t he ladle act i v ely b etween the troublesome q ueries o f the

l ittle man ; but a t last g e t t i ng co n fu sed w it h som e v e ry
,

crabbed quest ion s put to h im A ndy became com pletely ,

bothered an d lift i ng a b ri m m ing lad le o f drippi ng pou red

, ,

i t o ve r t he little man s coa t in st ead o f the beef ’

.

A roar fro m the proprie t or of the cloth e s fol lowed ,

and he i mplanted a kick a t su ch ad v antage u pon A ndy ,

t h at b e u pset h i m i nto t he d ri ppi ng pan ; and A ndy i n -

h is fall endeav ou ri ng to support h i msel f caught at t h e

, ,

suspended a rt icl e s abo ve h i m and t he cloth e s and t h e , ,

b ee f and A ndy a ll swa m i n g ravy

, ,
.
3 3° H a n dy A ”
m a mm w m nm su
ww wy h k m th fl m l c

ovd m wm
Han d h cm bia m iv d
M au d a ll mm in

hi s fa ll e nde a v ou ri m
I
,

s us pe n de d art ic la n M
be e f, and A ndy , all m m
 C HAP T E R XX V
H I LE d isas te r an d h ubbub w ere ri fe b el ow t h e ,

elec t ors p s t airs w e re h o l d i ng a cou n ci l w he t h er

u -

i t wou ld b e be tt e r
n ot s e nd bac k t he H o no urab le s
to
’

messenger t h e t ow n an d requ es t a su pp l y f sho e s

to o ,

w h ic h t hey had o t h e r m e an s f g e t t i ng T h e debat e

no o .

w as o f an dd sor t t hey we re a ll i n t he i r s e v e ra l b e ds a t
o ;
t h e t ime an d roar e d a t eac h o t her t hroug h t h e i r d oors
, ,

wh ic h wer e purpos el y l eft o pe n t ha t t hey m igh t e njoy

eac h o t he r s con ve rsa t ion n u mber s e ve n r e plied
’

; num to
b e r t hr e e and clai med res pec t
,
h i argu men t s t he
to s on

sco re f sen iority t he b l u e roo m was com p l e t e l y

o ; con

t ro ve rt ed by t he y e l l ow and t he d oub le bedd e d roo m

; -

would f cou r se hav e ha d supe rio r we igh t i t h e argu

,
o ,
n

men t on l y th a t ev ery t hin g i t s ai d w l os t by t h e w

,
as t o

ho nourab l e memb e rs Speak i n g t oge t h e r T h e Frenc h .

k ing used ho l d a cou nc i l ca lled a bed f ju s t ice i n

to o ,
”

wh ich n ei ther j ustice a bed h ad a ny t h ing

nor d to o , so

t ha t t his I ris h c o nferen ce be tte r deserved t he t i tle tha n

any cou n c i l t h e Bo u rbo n ev er assembled T h e debate .

h av i ng c o n cluded a n d t h e q u e st io n bei ng pu t an d carried

, ,

the u sher f t he blac k cou nterpane was d es ired get

o to out

o f bed an d w rap p e d i n t h e robe f o ffi ce wh e n ce b de

, ,
o e

riv ed h is t i tl e g dow n s t airs an d cal l the

,
to o H on ou r
-

ab le s me ss e n ger
’
t h e bar f th e ho use a nd t her e
to o ,
”

o rd er h im a pin t f por te r fo r refresh men t after h i ride

o ,
s ;
an d fo rt hwith send h i m back agai n
to t h e t ow n f a to or

su pply f Shoes o .

Th e hou se w as u n animou s i n voti ng t he su pplies .

Th e us h e r r e ached t h e ki t c h en an d fo u nd A n dy i n h i s
33 8 Ha n dy A n dy
s h irt sleev es ,
scrapi ng the d ri pping fr o m
his l iv e ry with
an old kn i fe whose h a c kled edge considerably assisted
,

A ndy s own inge n uity i n t he tearing o f h is coat i n m any

’

places while t h e l ittle man m ade no e ff ort to wards the

,

re pai r of h is ga r ment Bu t held it u p befo r e hi m a n d re

, ,

garded it wit h a piteous look .

T o the ushe r o f t h e b lac k cou nterpan e s q uesti on

’

whet h er A n dy was t h e H onou rable s m essenger A ndy ” ’

replied i n t h e a ffi rm ati ve ; b u t t o t he d esire ex presse d ,

t ha t he wou ld rid e b ack t o the town A ndy retu rn ed a ,

d e c ided negativ e .

My o rd h e rs i s n o t t o go back with ou t you said ,

A ndy .

B ut we h av e no Shoes s aid t h e ush e r ; a nd can ,

no t go unt i l we ge t some ”
.

My o rdhe r i s not t o g o back with out you .

B ut i f we ca n t g o ’

We l l then I ca n t g o b ac k tha t s al l said A n dy

, ,
’

,
’

, .

The u sher t he l and lord and t he landlady a ll ham

, ,

m e red away at A ndy for a l ong t im e i n v ai n t ryi ng t o ,

co n v ince h im h e ough t t o return as h e was d e s ired ; ,

st il l A ndy St uc k t o t h e l etter o f h is o rders and said he ,

o fte n got in t o t roub le for not do ing e x a ct ly what he

was b id an d tha t he w as b id n o t to go back w it hou t
,
“

them an d h e wou l d n o t — s o h e wou ld n t — d iv il a

,
’

”
fut.

At l ast howeve r A ndy was made t o u nd erstand t he

, ,

prop r iety o f rid i ng bac k to the town ; and was desired to

go as fast as his hors e coul d carry hi m t o gallop e v ery ,

foot o f t h e way ; bu t A ndy d id no suc h th ing ; h e had

recei v ed a good t hrash ing once f o r be ing caught gallo p
i ng h is master s horse o n t he road and he had n o in t e n
’

tion o f ru n n i ng t he ris k a s eco nd t i me because t b c “

,

s t r ng e r
a
”
t old h i m t o do s o “
What does he know .

abou t i t ? said A ndy t o h imself ; faith it s fai r and ’

,
’

”
aisy I 11go and not dist h r e ss th e horse to p laz e any on e
’

,
.

S o h e went bac k his ten m iles a t a reasonable pace on ly ;

 a n dy A n dy H 3 39
a n d wh en h e app e ar e d wi t ho u t t h e ele c t ors a s t o rm ,

b u rst on poo r A ndy .

“
T her e ! I k n ew h w i t wou l d b e said h e a n d o , ,
“

n ot my fau lt a t all .
”

Were yo u t ol d
’
n t t o ret u r n w it hou t t h em
not
“
B u t wai t t i ll I t el l y h w i t was su r e ; an dou o
,

t hen A ndy bega n a n accou n t f t he co n d itio n i n wh ich o

t he v o t ers l ay a t t h e i n n b u t be t w ee n the i mpa t i en ce ;

o f t h ose w ho heard an d t he con fu s e d m an n e r f
, o

A ndy s r e ci t al i t w so me t i me b efore ma tte rs wer e

’

, as

e xplai ned an d t h e n A ndy was d e si red ride bac k

; to
to th e i n n again t el l t he e l ec t ors s hoes shou l d b e
,
to

forwarded afte r h i m i n a pos t c hais e an d r e qu e sting -

t h e ir u t mos t e x e rtion s i n h ast en i ng ov e r t h e t own to ,

f or t h at t h e el ec t io n w go i n g agai n s t t hem A n dy as .

r et u rn ed t h e in n and t h is t i m e u n der o rd e rs fro m

to ; ,

h e ad qu art ers ga l loped i n good earn e s t an d brough t i n

, ,

h i hors e s moki ng h
s a n d i nd i ca t i ng l am e n ess Th e
ot, .

day w as wea ri n g apace an d i t w l ate w h en t h e

,
as so

e l ec t o rs w e re e nabled t o start tha t t h e po ll i ng boo t hs -

we re c l o sed b e fo re t hey co u l d l eav e t he t ow n ; a nd i n

m any f t hese boo t hs th e requ is i t e n u mber f e le c t ors
o o

h ad not bee n po ll ed t ha t day k ee p t he m o pe n to ; so

t ha t t he n ex t d ay n e ar l y a ll t hose ou tl yi ng e le c t o rs ,

abou t who m t her e had be en m uch t rou bl e a n d ex so

pen se wou ld be f
,
av ai l Th u s M u rphy s t ri c k
o no .
,
’

w as q u i t e s ucce ss fu l and t he poor pickled el ec t ors ,

w e re d r iven bac k t o t hei r i n n i n d udgeon .

A n dy wh e n h e wen t to t h e b l t o sadd le h i s t eed

, st a e s ,

fo r a r et u rn Nec k —Noth i n g H a l l foun d h im dead

to -
or ,

lam e , sot hat rid e h im be t ter tha n t we l ve m i l es h om e

to
w as impossib l e An dy w ob liged . l eav e h i m wh e re
as to
h e w and t ru dge it
as, t h e h all f a l l th e h ors e s
to ; or

i n Kelly s s t ab le s wer e k nocked u p w i t h t h e ir d ay s

’ ’

wo r k .

A s i t w s ho rt er by fou r m i l es across th e co u n t ry
as

t han by t h e road A n dy pursu e d t h e form e r co urs e ; an d

,
34 0 Ha n dy A n dy
as he k new th e cou ntry well t he shades o f even ing
, ,

w h i c h were now clo sing rou nd d id not d ete r h i m i n ,

t he least A ndy was n o t v e ry fresh for the jo u rn ey

.

t o be s ure for h e h ad ridden u pwards o f t h irty m i les

,

that day so t h e mer ry w h istle whic h is s o constantly

, ,

h ea r d fr om t he lively I r i s h ped e st rian d id not w h ile ,

away the ted i u m o f his walk I t was nig h t wh e n .

A ndy w as b reasti ng u p a low ridge o f h i lls whi ch lay ,

between h im an d t he e nd of his jou rney ; and when

i n s ilence an d dark nes s h e topped the ascen t h e th rew ,

h imsel f o n som e heat h er t o rest an d take breat h H i s .

atte ntion was suddenly caug h t b y a smal l blue fl am e ,

wh ic h flicke r ed n ow and t h en o n t he face o f th e hi ll ,

no t very far fro m h i m ; and Andy s fears o f fairies ’

an d gob li ns came crowd ing u pon h i m t h ic k a nd fast .

H e w ished t o ri se but could n o t ; his eye co nt in ued

,

to b e st rai ned w ith the fas cin atio n o f fear i n t he

di rection h e saw t he fi re an d sough t to pi erce t h e
,

gloom th rough which at i n tervals t he s ma ll poin t o f

, ,

fl ame flash e d b r ightly and s un k agai n m aki n g th e ,

da r kness seem deepe r A n dy l ay i n perfec t still nes s

.
,

a n d i n the s ile nce w h ich was u nb roken eve n by h i s

,

ow n breath i ng h e th ought he h eard voices un de rground

, .

H e trembled from head to foo t f o r he was certai n they,

were the voices o f th e fai ries who m b e firm ly b e l ieve d

,

to i nhabit th e hi lls .

“
O h ! mu rd he r w ha t l l I do ? though t A ndy t o
,
’”

hi mself : “ s ure I he e rd o ft e n if onc e y o u were w ithi n

,

th e soun d o f t hei r v oi ces y ou cou ld ne v er get o u t 0

,
’

their power O h ! i f I co u ld on ly say a pa t loe r and

.

ave , but I forge t my p raye rs wit h the frigh t H ai l .

,

M ary ! T he ki ng 0 the fai ries l i v es i n thes e h il ls

’
,

I kn ow — an d h i s house i s u nd h er me th i s m in it an d ,

I o n t h e r oof o f it — I l l n e v er ge t down agai n

’

I ll nev er get d own agai n — t h ey l l m ake me S later

’ ’

to th e fairi es ; and sure en oug h I remember me t h e ,

h i ll is all co v ered wit h fl at s t on e s t hey call fai ry s lat es .

34 2 Ha n dy A n dy
“ I t s ly fal se appet ite you ha v e said the seco nd
’
on a , ,
”
yo u d ru nk
’
te .

Th is was a n ew lig h t t o Andy for he th oug h t gi ants ,

w e re too st rong to get d r u nk .

I cou ld ate a y oung h i ld w ithou t parsley and but c ,

t her sai d th e d ru nke n giant A ndy ga v e a fain t spas

,
.

modi c k i k c .

A nd it s as hot as down ther e said t he gia nt

’

,
.

A ndy t rembled a t t he hor r id word he hea r d .

“ No wo nde r said the second gian t ,

for I ca n ;
s ee t h e fl am e poppi ng at the to p f the ch i mbley ou t o ;
tha t s bad I ho pe no one w il l s ee i t
’
: it m ig h t ,
or

gi v e t hem warn i ng Bad l u ck that y ou ng d i il fo r

. to v
”
m ak ing t he fi re h g so st ro n .

Wha t a d read fu l hea r ing t his was fo r A ndy young :

d e v ils t o make their fi res th ere was n o do ubt w h a t ;

place they w ere d welling i n T h un der and tu r f ! .
“ ”

said th e d ru n k e n gia nt I w ish I h ad a s lice o f “

A ndy d id not hear what he w ished a slice f fo r o ,

the n igh t wi n d swept acros s t h e heath at the mo me nt ,

an d ca r ri ed away t he monster s d isgu st in g words o n ’

its pu r e b reat h .

Well I d ra t her ha v e ,
’
said the other giant ;
an d agai n A n dy l ost w h at h is at rociou s desi res we re
“ than all t h e other s lices in the wor l d Wha t a .

lo v ely rou n d s h ou ld er h has and t h e n ice rou nd s e ,

an kle f he r o

The word ankle showed at on c e i t was a woma n

“

o f wh o m h e s poke and A ndy s hudd ered The mo n

, .
“

s t e rs ! to e at a woman .

“
W h at a fool you a r e to be i n l ov e said the ,

d ru nken gian t w ith seve r al hiccu ps show i ng the i ,

n

crease f hi s i n eb r ia ti o n
o .

“
Is t h at w h at the b ru tes call lo v e thought A ndy , ,
”
“ to ate a woman ?
“
I wis h h was b f my bon e and flesh f my
s e o ne . o o

fl esh ,
sa id the se con d gian t .
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 43
O f t h i s s p ee c h A ndy h e ard o n l y bo ne a n d fl e sh “ “
,

a n d had gr e a t d ifli l y i n mai n t a in i n g t h e se re n i ty f

cu t o

hi s d iaphragm .

Th e conv ersa t io n f t h e g ia nt s was w mor e f o no re

q uen t l y i n te rrup te d by t h e w in d w h ic h w as ris i n g and ,

o n ly b rok e s e n te nces r e ach e d A n dy whose s en ses

n ,

b ecam e c le ar e r t h e l onger h e r e mai n ed i n a s t a te f o

safe t y a t l as t he heard t he n am e f Sq u ire Egan

; o

d is t in c tly pas s b et w een t h e gi an t s .

S t h ey k n o w S qu ire Egan t hough t An dy ”

o ,
.

T he firs t gian t gav e a d ru n ken lau gh at t h e me n

t io n f Sq ui re Ega n s n ame an d e xc lai m e d
o
’
,

D o n t b e afraid f h i m (
“ ’
bi p) I hav e h i m o ccu ;
u nd h e r my th umb (bi p) I ca n cru sh hi m whe n I ccu .

p l as e .
”

O ! my poo r wl d m h
“ me nt ally ejacu l a te d
o a st er j ) ,

Andy .

A no t h e r b r e a k i n t heir co n v e rsa t io n occurr e d an d ,

t he n ex t name A ndy ov e rheard w as

The big b u l ly ! sa id t h e s e cond gian t .

Th e y k n ow t he w ho l e cou n t ry ho ugh t An dy ,
”
t .

B u t te ll m e what was t ha t y sa id t o h im a t t h e
,
ou

el ec t io n ? said t h e d ru nke n
”
one .

The word e lec t io n recal l e d A n dy “ t h e bu si n e ss ”

to
o f t h is e ar t h b ack agai n an d i t s t ruc k u po n h is h ith e rto ;
b e wi ldered se n sori u m t ha t gian t s co u l d hav e n o t h ing
to do w ith e l ec t ions an d he k ew h e ne v e r w them ,
n sa

ther e and ; th e t hough t struc k h i m it seem e d as i f t h e

,
as
,

gia n t s d i m i n ished i n si z e a n d d i d appear q i big , not u t e so .

S ure you know said the s e co nd

“
,
”
.

We l l I d lik e , h e ar i t agai n said t h e dru n ke n

’
to ,

one
( p)
b i ccu .

Th e big bu ll y says
“
m e H a ve you a l ease ? to ,
‘

say s b No say s I
e ; ‘
bu t I hav e an art ic le
,
’
Wh a t ;
‘ "

ar t ic l e ? says b ’
I a fi ne brass b lu n derbu s say s
e ;
‘
t
’
s s ,
’

I a nd I d lik b m w ld d i p
’
e t o se e t b i l e an ou s u te t c t t e I
,

T h e dru n k en l is tene r c huc kled a n d t h e words bro k e ,

 34 4 Ha n dy A n dy
t h e spe ll f su p e rn a t u ral t e rror whi ch h ad h u n g o v e r
o

A ndy he k n ew by t he wo r d s f t h e s p e aker it w as
; ,
o ,

the b ul ly joker f t h e electio n was presen t who b row

o ,

bea t O G dy a nd o ut qu ibbled t he ag e n t about t h e oath

’
ra -

o f allegian ce and th e v o ice f t he o t he r h e soon recog

; o

i d for that
n se f Larry Hogan S o now h is giants
o .

were dim i n is h ed i nto mo rt a l men t he pot wh ic h h ad ,

been m ention ed to t he terror f h is sou l was for th e o ,

making o f wh is ky i n s te ad f h u man broth an d t he o —

hel l h e th oug h t his g iants i nhab ited was bu t a priv a t e

st ill A n dy felt as i f a moun t ai n had been li fted fro m
.

hi s heart when h e fou nd it was bu t m ortals he had t o

dea l w ith fo r A n dy was not d efic ient i n cou rage wh e n
it was but t h ews a nd Si n ews l i ke h i s w he had to o n

en cou nte r H e sti ll lay concealed h owev er for s mug

.
, ,

g l e rs m ight no t wish t h eir pri v ate hau nt to be d is co ve red ,

and i t was possible A n dy wo ul d be voted t oo m any o ne

i n t h e com pany should he a n n ou nc e h im self an d w it h ;

such od ds as two to agai ns t hi m he t ho ught h e had
one

better be qu iet B es ides h is cu r iosity became excited

.
,

w he n h e fou n d t h e m s peaki n g o f his ld master Ega n o , ,

a nd hi s p r esen t O G dy an d as a woman had

on e ,
’
ra ;
been all uded t o and d d w ords caught u p he r e an d ,
o

t here h e becam e anxi ou s t o h ear more f t h e i r con

, o

v ersat ion .

“
S o you re i n l o ve sai d Larry wi t h a hi ccup t o
’
, , ,

ou r fri e n d f t h e b l u nd e rb u ss
o h a ! ha ! ha ! y ou big ;
“

foo l .
”

“
We ll you ld t hi e f d on t y
,
l ik e a pu rt y gir l
o ,
’
ou

yo urse l f ?
I d id wh e n I was you ng and foo l ish
,
.

Fa ith then y
’
you ng and foolis h a t th a t ra t e
, ,
ou
’
re

yet for you

, a rogu e w it h the gi rls Larry said t h e
’
re , ,

other gi v i ng h i m a slap
, t h e back on .

Not I not I said Larry i n a m an ne r ex p r essi v e ,

o f h is not bei ng d ispleased w it h t h e charge f gallantry o

h e he he how d you k now eh ( H i p ) o ,

ccu .
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 45
S u re I k n ow mys el f b u t I w tell i ng y o u i f I
, ; as os ,

cou l d only l ay h wld f here h i s v o ice b e cam e

o o

i naudib le A n dy an d t h e r e s t f t h e s e nt e nc e w
to , o as

los t.

An dy s c u rio si ty w as gr e a t
’
W h c o u l d t h e gi r l .
“
o

he
A nd y o u d carry her o ff’
said Larry .

I w ou l d said t h e o t h e r ; “
I m o nl y afra id o ’ ’

S q u ir e Egan .

A t t h is an n o u nceme nt o f t h e i n tent io n o f “ carry in g

h e r o ff ”
,
cou p le d w i t h t he fe ar o f “ Sq u ir e Egan ,

A ndy s an x i et y t o h e ar t he n am e o f t h e perso n becam e

’

s o in te n s e t ha t h e craw l ed cau t io usly a li tt l e n e ar e r to

t h e sp e a kers .

“ I t e l l yo u agai n sa id Larry “ I ca n s e t t l e bim aisy

, ,

( “ p)
bi ccu he s u ndh e r
’
my t hu mb
Be aisy ”
s ai d t he o t h e r co nte m p t uo usly w h o
, , ,

t ho ugh t t h is wa s a me r e d ru nke n d elusio n o f Larry s ’

.

“
I tel l y ou I m his ma st h e r ! s a id Larry w ith a
’

d run ken fl ou ris h o f hi s arm an d h e co nt i n ued b raggi ng

o f his power ov e r t he S qui r e 1n v ariou s ej acu la t io ns the ,

e xac t mean i ng o f w hich o u r frien d o f t he b l un derbu ss

cou l d n ot fa t ho m b u t A n dy h e ar d e nough t o Show h i m
,

t ha t t h e d iscov e ry o f t h e pos t o ffi c e aff air was w hat -

Larry a ll uded t o .

Th at Larry a c l os e c u n n i ng ci rc u mv e n t i ng rascal
, , , ,

shou ld so far be t ray th e s o urc e o f hi s pow e r o v er Ega n

may see m s t rang e ; b u t b e i t remembered Larry w as
d run k a s t a t e o f we ak n e s s wh ich h is cauti on ge ne rally
,

gu ard e d hi m from fall i ng into bu t w h ic h b eing i n h i s , ,

foib l e wa s b raggi ng o f h is i nfl u e n c e a n d s o ru n n in g t he ,

ris k o f l osi ng i t .

The m en co nti n u ed t o t a l k t oge t h e r f o r som e t im e ,

and t he t eno ur o f t h e co n v ersa t i on wa s t ha t La rry a s ,

su red h is c om pan io n h e m igh t c arry o ff th e gi rl witho u t

fear o f Egan b ut h er n ame A ndy cou l d n ot d iscov e r
, .

H i s o wn n a me h e heard m or e t h an on c e and v o lu pt u ,
 Ha n dy A n dy
ous raptu res pou red fo rt h abou t lo v e ly l i ps and hi ps a nd
an k les fr o m t h e h e r c ulean k n ight of t h e b l u nde r buss ,

a midst t h e mau dli n ad mirati o n and h icc ups f Larry o ,

w h o co nti n ued t o b rag f h is power and profes s h is

o ,

readi ness to stand by h is fri end i n carry ing o ff the g irl .

”
The n said th e H ercu les with a n oath I ll soon
, ,
“
,
’

ha v e you i n my arm s my lovely

,

T h e nam e was l ost again .

T h eir colloquy was n ow i nte r ru pt e d by t he approac h

of a ma n and wom an th e former being the person for
,

w hose appea r anc e Larry made so many i n qui ries w he n

he first a ppeared to A ndy as th e h u ngry g ian t ; t he
other was t h e si s ter o f t he k n igh t o f t he b lu n derbuss .

Larry ha v i ng hicc u pped hi s anger agai n st t he m an f o r

making them wait so long fo r the bacon t he wom an ,

said he should not wait longe r w it hou t h is su pper now ,

fo r that Sh e wo u ld go dow n and fr y t he rashers i mme d i

ately Sh e then d isap p eared th roug h t he g r ou nd an d
.
,

th e m en all fo llowed .

A ndy drew h is breath free l y once mo r e and with ,

c autio n raised h imsel f grad ually fro m th e grou nd with a

c a r eful c i rcu mspect ion les t any o f the subterran ean
,

co mm u n ity m igh t be watch ers o n th e h ill ; and whe n h e

was sat i sfi ed he was free from observati on he stole away ,

fro m th e s po t with s t ealthy s t eps for abou t t we nty paces ,

and ther e as w el l as th e d arkness would permit after t ak

, ,

i ng suc h lan d marks as w ou ld hel p him to retrace h i s wa y

t o the stil l if requisite he dashed down t h e hi ll at the to p
, ,

of his s peed Th is pace he d id n o t mode ra te u nti l he had

.

placed n early a m ile betwee n h im and t he sce n e o f h is

adv ent ure ; he then paced s lowly t o regai n h is breath .

H is head was i n a st r ange wh i r l ; misch ief was th r eat

ened again st som e o n e of whose name h e was ig norant ;
S qu i re Egan w as declared t o be i n t h e power of a n o ld
rascal ; thi s g r ieved Andy mos t o f all fo r h e felt b e was
,

t h e cause o f h is old mast e r s di lem ma

’
.

“
O h ! to th in k I shou ld bring h i m i nt o t ro ub le ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 47
sai d A n dy “ t h e k i nd a n d good ma st h e r h e was t o m e
,

ev er and I l ive to tel l i t like a b l ackgu ard — t h ro t h I d

,
’

ra t h e r be h an ged any d ay t h an t he ma st h e r wo u ld com e

t o t hro u b le — maybe i f I gav e my self u p a n d w as
h anged l ik e a man a t on c e t h a t w ou ld set t l e i t fai th ,
’

if I tho ugh t it wo u l d I d d o i t s oon er t han S qui re Egan

’

,
”
sho u ld co me t o t h ro u b le ! and poor A ndy Spo ke j ust
wha t he felt O r wou l d i t d o t o k il l t ha t b l ackg u ard
.

H ogan ? su r e t bey cou ld do no mor e t ly a n ba ng me af t /De r 1

,

a n d t ha t wou ld sav e t h e mast h e r an d be al l o n e t o m e , ,

fo r th ey o fte n t o wld m e I d be h anged B u t t h en ’

.

t here s my sow l said An dy a nd h e pau sed a t t h e

’ ”
, ,

t hough t ; i f t hey hanged m e f o r t he le t t h e rs i t wou ld

“
,

be on ly fo r a m istake and s ure th en I d h ave a c han c e ,

’

0 g l ory ; f o r s u re I m ight go t o glo r y t h roug h a m istak e ;

’

b u t i f I k il l ed a ma n o n p urpose s u re i t wo u l d be S lap ,

pi n t he gates o f H ea v en i n my o wn face Faix I l l

’
.
,
’

s pak e t o F a t her B lake abou t i t ” 2

.

1 How sa gui a ry p al d f p a st y a rs g
o ft e n h as t he n n en co e o e su

g st d this r fl t i d pr v k d h gui l t i t w a s m a t w
e e e ec on an o o e t e e n to a e

H a ppi ly w la ws no mi ld r d m r pr t t iv f r m t h ir
ou r a re e , an o e o ec e o e

mi ld ss
,

ne

f r g i g p a ss a g d y s u mb l s u t ri g a qu a i t
.

3
‘
In t he o e o n e, An t e on t e n n

p l a s a t ry f i t is p a rt l t ru a s w ll a s d r ll h t i f a
e n or y e e o — t e no on o

m anga i i g Pa rad is h r ugh a mis ak ur i t t i s

,

n n e t o t e O n en on t oo
s ld m l ad us th r bu t rat r t d h th r w y f a rta i
.

e o e e e, he en t e o e a or ce n

p a is sa i d
l ce p av d with g d to be s d sur l y b ad e oo o ne an
,

one s w u ld l ad us pw a rd s Th h phra s f a m
o n ot e u en t
,

e e o an

s la ppi g h ga s f H av hi w f a is f h s
.

n t e te o e en in s o n ce one o t o e

wi ld p t i fi gur s f sp h i whi h h I rish p a sa try f t

oe c e o eec n c t e
,

e n o en

i d u l g T h phra s S la ppi g h d r i v ry d y d
n e. e e “ n t e oo
”
s e e -
a an

co mm bu t wh a pp l i d
on h ga s f H av
en d i e to t e te o e e n, an “
n

a ma s w f a n
’
o h n mm phra s b m s fi Bu t h w
ce
”
t e co on e e co e ne o

st hi gs b m p y b y h fi t ss f h ir
, .

o ft hen t mm e co one t n e co e oe t r t e ne o t e

a pp l i a i h ugh p ta s rs d p p l f small mi d s thi k

c t on , t o oe te an eo e o n n

gr at ss f th ugh l i s i big w rd s
e ne o o t e n o .
 C HAPTE R XX V I

H E fo ll ow ing d ay was t h a t ev en t ful on e w hic h

s h ould witness the return o f e ither Edward Egan ,

Esq or t h e H onourab le S ac kv ille S catterb rain as m em

.
,

ber for the cou nty There was n o doubt i n any reaso n
.

ab le m an s m in d a s to t he real majority o f Egan bu t the

’

n u mbers were s u fli c ie n t ly c lose to gi v e t he Sheri ff an 0 p

p o rt u n it
y o f do in g a bit o f bus in ess t o ob lige h is fri ends ,

an d therefore he dec l ar e d the H onou rable S ack v ill e S cat

t e rb ra in d u ly elected G reat was th e u proa r ; t he people
.

h issed an d h ooted and g r oan ed fo r wh ich the Hon ou r

, , ,

ab le S ac k v il le v ery good natu redly retu rn ed t hem h i s -

tha nks M u rphy s n apped h is fingers in the sheri ff s face

.
’

and to l d t hem hi s hon ou rable frien d S h ould not long re

main m ember for that h e m ust b e u nseated o n petit ion
, ,

an d th at h e wou ld p ro v e t h e retu rn m ost corru pt w ith ,

wh ich words h e agai n s n apped h is fi ngers i n t h e s h eri ff s ’

face .

The sheri ff t h rea t ened t o read th e rio t ac t if suc h con

d uc t was repea t ed .

Ega n too k o ff h i s ha t an d t han ked him for h is b on

,

ou r a ble u r i ly t a nd i mp a r t ia l cond uc t whereu pon all

p g , , ,

Egan s fr ien d s t ook o ff thei r hats also and mad e p r o

’
,

fou nd bows t o the fun ctionary and then l aug h ed most ,

u proa r ious ly Cou nter laughs were re t u rned fro m the

.

o
pp o Sit e party wh o begged
,
t o rem i nd t h e E g an it e s o f

t h e old say ing that t h ey m ig h t laugh w ho w in

“
,
”
A .

c r oss fi re o f sarcasms was kept u p am idst t he t wo pa r

-

ties as they we r e c ru shin g fo rwa r d o u t o f th e cou rt

h ou se ; and at the door befo r e en te ri ng his carriage , ,
3 50 Ha n dy A n dy
Bu t you r wou n d dear ,

A re t h ey C a rlin g fo rd s o r Po ld o o d ie s ?
S o fresh lov e ”
,
.

S o m u c h th e bette r .

“ You r w oun d I mean d ear ?

,
”
Nicely o pened .

O n ly d ressed an hour ago ?

Wit h so me m u stard pepper and v i n egar , ,
“ I n deed G usty i f you take my ad” vice
, ,
“ I
d rather h ave oy sters any day
’
.

O G ra dy s a t u p o n t he so fa as he Spoke an d requested
’

h i s wi fe to say n o more about the matter bu t p u t o n h is ,

cravat Wh ile s he was getti ng it fro m h is w ard r obe

.
,

h is mi nd wandered from su pper t o t he pension wh ic h ,

h e looked u pon a s secu r e now tha t S catte r brai n was t e

turned ; and oy ster—ban ks ga v e place to t h e Ban k o f I r e
land wh ic h ros e in a pleasi ng i mage befo r e O G ra dy s
,
’ ’

i magi nation T h e wife now retu r ned w ith t h e c r a v at

.
,

st il l dread i n g th e result of eati ng to her h usband and h er ,

m i n d occu p ied wholly w ith th e t hought o f s u ppe r wh i le ,

O G ra dy wa s w rapt i n v ision s of a pension

’
.

Yo u wo n t take it G usty d ear s aid his wi fe wit h

’ ”
, , ,

a ll t h e in si n uati on o f man ner she cou ld com mand .

Won t I faith
’

,
s aid O G ra dy
’
Maybe yo u ’
.

”
th i n k I don t want it ? ’

“
Indeed I don t dear
,
’

, .

“
A r e yo u mad woman ? I s it taki ng leave o f t h e
,

few se nses you e v er had you are ? ”

”
T won t agree w it h y ou
’ ’
.

W on t it ? j us t wai t t ill I m t r ied

’ ’
.

Well l ov e h o w m uch d o yo u e x pec t t o b e

,

al l owed
Why I c an t expec t much j us t yet — we m us t b e
’

gi n gent ly fee l t he pulse firs t ; but I shou ld h 0 pe by ,

way of sta rt t h at s ix o r se v en h u ndred

,
“
G rac ious H ea v en l exclaimed h is w ife d ropping
”
,

th e c r av at fr o m h er hands .
 Ha n dy A n dy 35 1

W ha t t h e d e v i l i s t h e wom a n s ho u t i ng a t ? s aid ”

O G dy
’
ra .

S ix s eve n h u nd red l exc l aim e d M rs O G dy

or .
’
ra ;
my d ear t her e s ,
as much i n t h e ho u s e
’
n ot .
”

N n or h aso, be e n fo r many a l ong day I k now

n ot ;
tha t as w e l l as you said O G dy ,
b u t I hope w e ’
ra ;
shal l ge t as m u ch for a ll t ha t .
”

“ My d ear w here cou l d y ,

ge t t hem ? ask ed t h e ou
”

wi fe t i midly w ho bega n
, ,
t h i n k hi head was a litt le
to s

l igh t .

“
Fro m t h e t r e as u ry t o be sure , .

Th e t reasu ry my dear ? sai d t h e w i fe s t i ll at faul t

, ,

h w cou ld you ge t oyst e rs fro m t he t reasu ry

o

O y sters ex c la i med O G dy w hos e t u r n i t was ’

ra ,

no w to wo n de r w ho t a l ks f oys t ers ?
,
o
”

M y dear I thou gh t y ,
s ai d y d ea t Six ou s ev en ou
’
or

h u n d red of oys te rs !
Pooh poo h ! wo ma n ; i t i f t h e pen s io n I m s o
’

t alking i s e v en h u nd red pou n ds po und s cash

s x or

— per an n u m w I sup pos e y l l pu t my cravat ’

; no ou on .

I th i n k a ma n m ay b e al l owed e a t hi s u pp e r wh to s o

e x p e c t s i h u nd red a y e ar
s x .
”

A grea t m any peo p l e b es ide s O G dy order su pp e rs ’

ra ,

and d in n ers t he e x p e c t a t io n f less t han i hu n

t oo , o n o s x

d red a year P e rhaps t h e r e i

. m or e a t i v e agen t for s no c

send i ng peo ple in t o t h e I n so l v e nt C ou rt t ha n t h e afo re

”
said p i ex e ct a t on .

O G dy we nt down s t ai rs an d w hear t i l y we l
’
ra -
as
,

co med by S ca t terbrai n h i s —appearance from hi on re s

s ick roo m bu t M
-
O G d y sugges te d t ha t fo r fear
rs .
’
ra ,

any ex cess wou l d Sen d h i m b ac k t here for a l onger t im e ,

a v ery modera t e i ndu lgen ce a t t he t ab l e sho u l d su ffi c e .

S h e begged t he ho n ou rable m emb er ba ck h e r argu to

men t wh ich h e d i d and O G dy prom is e d te m peranc e
, ;
’
ra ,

b u t begged th e i mmed ia t e appearance f t h e oy s te rs f o ,

or

h e ex perie n ced t hat eager des ire whi ch d el icat e hea lt h so

o fte n prom p t s f som e par t icu l ar food or .

 3 5 2 Ha n dy A n dy
A ndy was l ay ing the t ab le at t h e t i me an d was ,

o rde r ed to ex pedite matte r s as m uc h as possib le .

”
Yis m am ,
a
’
.

“ Y su r e th e oy s t ers ar e al l good A ndy ?

ou
’
re ,

S art in m a am ,
’
.
”

Because t he l ast oysters you k o w n

O h y is ma a m ,
w ere b ad ma am — b k
,
’
t hey ,
’
e a se

had their m out hs all open I rem embe r ma am b ut .

,
’

;
w h en I m wld a t h i n g on ce I nev er forge t i t again
’
to , ;
and y ou wld me wh e n they o pen ed thei r mout h s o nce
to

th ey wer e n o good S o y ou see ma am I ll n e v er .

,
”
’

,
’

bring u p bad y h aga in ma am o st e rs ,

’
.

“
Ve ry good A ndy a n d y h ave k e pt the m i n
, ; ou

a cool place I hope ,

.

“ Fai x they r e ,
wld e nough where I pu t them
’
co ,
”
m a am
’
.

Very wel l b r ing t hem u p at once ; .

O ff wen t An dy and ret u r n ed w ith all t h e h aste h e ,

cou ld wit h a large d is h h eaped u p w ith oyste r s .

O G dy rubbed h i h and s w ith t h e im pati en ce f

’
ra s o

a true lo v er O f the crustaceous delicacy and S catterb rain , ,

eager to he l p h i m fl ou rished h is oy ster kn i fe bu t ,

-

;
b e for e h e had t i me t o com m e nce O perations the l f O ac

to ry n erv es f t h e com pany gav e e v idence that th e

o

oys t ers we r e rath e r s us pic iou s e v ery began sn i ff ;

-
o ne

i ng an d a u n ive rsa l O h dear ! ran round the tab le

,
”
.

“
D o n t y s mel l it Fu rlo ng s aid S catterb r ai n
’
ou ,
?”
,

w h o was lost i n looking at A ugu sta s mus tach ios

so
’

that h e d id not m i nd anyth ing else .

“
I i t horri d ? sa id O G dy with a look f
S n t
’ ” ’
ra , o

d isgu st .

Fu r long t hough t h e al luded t o th e m u stac h io and ,

replied w i th a n assu rance th a t h e l iked it o f al l “

t h i ngs .

Li ke it ? sai d O G dy you v e a q ueer tast e

” ’
ra ;
“ ’
.

”
What d o y th in k o f i t miss ? added he to A ugus ta
ou
, ,
“
it j us t u nder y our nose
’
s .
”
 Ha n dy A n dy 353

F ur lon g t hough t t h i s rat he r p e rsona l e v e n fro m ,

a fa t he r .

“ I l l t ry my k n ife
’
sai d S ca tt erb rai n w ith on on e , ,

a fl ouris h f t he oys t e r k n i fe wh ic h F u r l o n g though t

o -

resemb l ed t he pre l im i n ary t ria l f a barber s razor o

’
.

F url ong t hough t t h i s w ors e t h a n O G dy bu t h e ’

ra ;
h esi t a t ed r e ply h is chief a n d an b
to to bl in t o ,
onou r a e

t he bargai n .

I n th e m e an t i m e S ca t terb rai n o p ened a n oy s t er , ,

w hic h Fu rlong i n hi embarras s me nt a n d an n oya n ce

,
s ,

did perce i v e
n ot .

“
Cu t ff th e beard s aid O G dy
O I do n t l i k e i t
,
’
ra ,
“ ’
.

Th i s n ear l y mad e Fu r l o n g s peak b u t con side ri ng , ,

O G dy
’
ra t e m per and i l l h e a l t h h e hes i t ated t i l l h e
’
s -

, ,

sa w Augu s t a rubb ing her eye i n co nseque nce f a ,

o

s m all s pli n t er f t he oys t er—Sh ell h a v ing s t ruc k i t fro m

o

S ca tt erb rai n s mi sm an ag e m e n t O f his k n ife b u t F url o ng

’

;
t hough t h w as c ry i ng an d t h e n h e co u l d b e s i l en t
s e ,

no longer h e wen t o ver ; where h an d wi t h to s e sa t ,

a very a ff ec t io n a t e demon s t ra t io n i n hi ac t io n said s , ,

“
Nev e r m i nd t he m d ear G ussy — n e ver m i nd ,

d o n t wy — I lov e her d ear l it t le mou s t achi os I d o

’
e ,
.

H e ga v e a g entle pa t t h e bac k f t h e n ec k h e on o as

S poke a n d i t w re t u rned by an u n co m mo nl y smar t

,
as

box ont h e ear from th e young l ady an d t h e whol e ,

par t y l ooked t h u nde rstru c k D ear G u ssy cri ed fo r

sp ite an d stamp e d h e r way
, f t h e room fol l ow e d out o ,

by F ur l ong .

Le t t h e m g said O G dy o, t hey ll mak e i t u p ’

ra ;
“ ’

ou t s id e .
”

Th e se oys te rs are a ll h d said S ca tte rbrai n a , .

O G dy began
’
ra swear a t h i d i sap poin t men t — h
to s e

h ad hi s hear t
se t oys t e rs M O G dy rang t he
on . rs .
’
ra

be ll — A n dy appeared .

“
H ow d are y b ring u p suc h oys t ers as t h e s e
ou ? ”

roared O G dy ’
ra .

Th e mi h i dh d t he m i
st r s or e re , s r.
3 54 Ha n dy A n dy
“
It o l d y ou n ever t o bring u p b ad
oy s te rs said ,

The m bad m a am said An dy

’
s not ,
’

, .

H a v e y ou a n ose ? say s O G dy ’
ra .

Yes sir , .
"

A n d can t you s mell t hem t h e n ? ’

Faix I s melt the m for the l as t three d ays i

, , s r .

“
An d how cou ld yo u y they were good t hen ? sa ,

asked hi m istress s .

S ure yo u tould m e ma am t h at i f they did o pe n ,

’

,
n t
’

t h e i r mou t hs t h ey were good and I ll be my boo k ,

’
on

oath t h e m oys t ers n e v e r O pened their mouths si nc e

I had t h e m f I laid the m , a orlfl g i n t he kitchen on coo a

a n d p ut the jack weight o v e r them -

”
.

No t with sta nd in g O G dy rage S ca t terb r ai n coul d ’

ra
’
s ,

n o t he l p roaring w ith laug h te r at A n dy s n o v e l i

’
cont r v

ance for k ee p ing oysters fresh A n dy was desired t o .

take t he an ci en t a n d fi h like s mell f th e room s -

”
ou t o ,

a mi dst jeers a nd abu se and as he fu mb led his way to ; ,

th e ki t ch e n i n the d ark l ame nt i ng t he h ard fat e f , o

servan t s wh o c an n eve r gi v e satisfaction thou gh they

, ,

d o eve ryth ing they are b id he wen t head o v er h eels ,

d ow n stai rs wh ich ev en t was repo rted to the whole

-

hou se as soon as i t happen ed by the e no r mou s clat t er ,

o f th e broken dish th e oysters and A ndy as they all , , ,

rol led o v er t h e ot h er to t he bo t tom

on e .

O G d y ha v ing m issed t h e coo l supper he i ntended

’
ra , ,

and had longed for was pu t in to a rage by t he d i p ,

sa

poi ntment and as h u nger with O G dy was o nly

;
’
ra

to be appeased by bro i led bo n e s accord ingly again st , ,

all t he endea v ou rs f e v erybody th e b e l ls rang v io lently

o ,

th rough th e hous e and t he ogre lik e c ry o f broi led ,

-
“

bo n es ! resou nded high and low

”
.

The read e r i s su ff c ien tly wel l ac q uain t ed w it h i

O G dy by t h is time t o k now tha t f cou rse when

’
ra , o ,

o nce he h ad d ete r m ined to h a v e h is bro iled bone n oth ,

ing on th e fac e o f t h e eart h could p rev e n t i t bu t the

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 55
wa nt f a n y t h i n g
o b ro i l t h e i m m ed i at e wa nt f h i s
to ,
or o

t e e t h ; an d as his mas t i cators w ere i n o rder and so m e ,

t hi ng i t h e hou s e wh ic h cou ld carry m us t ard an d

n

pepper t h e in v ali d prim e d an d loaded hi msel f wi t h as

,

mu ch co mb us t ibl e m a tt er e xp l oded i n a fev e r t h e n ex t as

da
X
Ih
’

e s upper par t y how e v e r i t h e hope f ge t ti ng

-

, ,
n o

him to bed s e pa rated soon and as S ca tt erb rain and

, ;
F u rl on g w e r e t o s t ar t ear ly i n t h e mo rn ing f D ub li n or ,

t h e n ecess ity f t hei r ret i ri ng r e s t w as pleaded Th e

o to .

ho nou rable memb e r had b e en l ong i n h is room whe n n ot

h e h eard a t ap a t his doo r and h i s o rder com e i n ,

to
was follow e d by t he appearance f Ha ndy A ndy o .

I fo u n d m hi so t he road n igh t he t ow n day

et n
’
on to -

i an d I t ho ugh t i t m igh t b e you rs m aybe

”
s r, sai d Andy , , ,

p rod u cing a s ma l l pocket book -

.

Th e hono urable m ember d isavo wed t h e ow n e rsh ip .

“ W e l l th er e s som e t h ing e l s e I wa n t t o S p e ak
,
’
to
you r hono ur abo u t .
”

Wha t i s it Han dy ,

I wan t you r ho no u r t h e acco u n t f t h e mon ey t o se e o

yo u r h onou r ga v e m e th a t I sp i n t a t t he b b u po n r e ee n
1

t he l h t ha t co u l d b e acco m m od at ed a t M
’
e ct ors n t
’
rs .

O h ne v e r min d i t A ndy if t h e re any t h i ng ov e r ,

’
s ,

k e ep it you rself .
”

Th an k you r h on ou r b u t I m u s t make t h e accou n t ,

al l t h e same i f you p l , f I m goi ng t o Fa t h er az e , or

’

B lake , my d uty soon a nd I m us t h a v e my

to ,
2
, c on

scien ce as c l e ar as I can an d I wo uld n t li ke be ,

’
to
ke e ping m oney b ack .

B u t if I giv e y t he m on ey w hat mat t e r ?

ou ,
“
I d ra t h e r yo u d j u s t look o v er t his l it t le b i t f a
’ ’
o

co un t i f y pl
,
ousa id A ndy prod uci ng a d i rt y piece
az e , ,

o f paper wi t h som e ,
early i nscru t ab l e h ieroglyph ics n

u pon i t .

L w pub l i k h us
1 o C f ssi
c o e. 9 on e on .
35 6 Ha n dy A n dy
S ca tte rbrai n com menced a n exami na t i o n f t h is l i te rary o

phenomeno n fro m S heer c u rios ity asking A ndy at the ,

s m e ti me i f b w ro t e i t
a e .

Yis s ir said A ndy

,
b u t y s e e th e man could
,
”
; ou n
’
t
keep t he coun t o f the pipe r s d h i k a t all it was s o ’
r n ,

f i
co n u s n an d I was obl iged to pay h i m for t ha t
’

,
so

ev ery ti me t he pi per d h r u n k and keep it separate and , ,

the le c t h o rs that g o t their d i n ner afther the b i ll was

’

m ade out I put down myself t oo a nd th a t s i t you se e ,

’

s ir bot h ating and

,

T o D h rin k in A b lin D e pip r e v e rr

y d ay
wa n a n d i n e n s ix P s da is
ur Tha r
.

j
T o a t e in f o T i n I llik t h u rs A n d e

o e h rs s
o n C h e ws d a i

T oe ti l
l o rd Bi l ur
.

L an Fo r A ll Be f
o

10 1 8 12
I
2

Then I o we y o u m oney i nstead o f y ou r ha v ing a ,

”
bal an ce i n hand Andy sai d the m ember , , .

“ Oh no m atte r your hon o u r ; it s n ot for t hat I

, ,
’

”
showed you the acco un t .

“ I t s v e ry l i ke it t hough
’
s aid S catterb rain laug h , , ,

i ng ; h ere A n dy here are a cou ple of pou nd s for you

, , ,

ta ke th em A ndy — take it an d be o ff ; you r bi ll is worth

,

t he mo ney and S cat t erbrai n c l osed the door o n th e

,

g reat accou n t a n t .

Andy nex t wen t t o Fu rlong s room t o know if th e ’

pocket book belon ged t o h im ; it d id not bu t Fu rlong

-

, ,

thoug h he d isc l ai med t he own e r sh ip h ad t hat sm all ,

cu riosity w h ich prom pts little m i nd s t o p ry into wh at

d oes n ot belong to t hem and tak ing the pocke t boo k ,
-

i nto h is hand s h e O pened it and fu mbled o v e r its lea v es ;

, ,

i n the doing o f wh ich a sm all piec e o f fo l ded paper fell

fr o m o n e o f the pock et s u n noticed by the i mpert inen t
i nqu isito r or A ndy to wh om h e returned t he boo k whe n ,

he had grat ified h i s senseless cu riosity .

3 58 Ha n dy A n dy
When Augusta sa w t h e l i nes s he was ch armed S h e , .

d is c o v e red her Fu r long to be a poet ! That th e li nes

were hi s the r e was n o do ubt — t h ey were f ou n d in b i:
r oom an d o f cou rse th e y must be his u s t as part ial c riti c s
, j ,

s a y certai n I r is h airs mu st b e Engl ish becaus e t h ey a r e ,

t o be fou nd in Q ueen Elizabeth s m us i c book

’
-
.

A ugusta w as so c harmed w it h the l ines t h a t She

amu sed hersel f for a lo ng t i me i n hid ing them u nd er t h e
sofa cush ion an d mak in g h er pet d og fi nd an d fet c h
-

t h em H er pleasu r e howe v er was i nte r rupted by her

.
, ,

sister C ha r lotte remarki ng w h en t h e l ines we r e Show n

,

to h er i n t r iu mph t hat t h e w r iting wa s n ot Fu rlong s

,
’

but i n a lady s ha nd ’
.

E v en a s bee r i s s udd enly sou red by t hun d er so t h e ,

electric i nfl uen ce o f Charlotte s wo r d s co n v erted all ’

A ugusta had been brewin g t o acidity ; jealou sy Stung

he r like a was p an d s h e box ed her dog s e a r s as he was
,
’

barki ng fo r another ru n w ith the v erses .

A la dy s ha nd ? said A ugusta s natch in g t h e pape r

’ ”
,

from her siste r ; I d eclare if i t ai n t ! t h e wret c h — so

“ ’

h e recei v es l in es fr o m lad ies ”

.

“
I th i n k I k now the hand t oo sai d Cha r lotte , , .

Yo u do ? exclai med A ugusta wit h fl as h ing eyes

”
, .

Ye s I m certai n it is Fan ny D awso n s w r iting

’ ” ’
.
,
“
S o it i s said A ugusta l oo king at t h e paper as i f
”
, ,

her eyes cou ld ha v e bu rnt it ; to be s u r e — h e was

“

t h er e be fore he cam e here ”

.

“
O n ly for two days said Charl otte try in g t o S lake
, ,

t h e flam e sh e had raised .

B ut I v e heard that girl a l ways makes con quests at

’

”
fi rst sight retu rn ed Augu sta half c rying ; an d what
,
“
,
”
do I s e e here ? some words i n pen cil .

The wo rds were s o fain t as to b e scarcely perceptible ,

but A ugusta d eciphe red t hem ; t hey we r e written o n

th e m a rgin beside a c ircu m fl ex w h ic h emb r a c ed t h e
,

last fou r l in es o f th e s e cond v erse s o th at it Stood ,

t h us °
 Ha n dy A n dy
h s m im s hi k wh h ar ’
O ! o et e
p t d n en re s s to e

Wh fl pp gu s b s t th ,

en i a nt ton e e e ee

Tha t ll mus t l v th wh h u rt a r
a o e ee en t o ne

But wi ll r f rg t h
one ne e
’
o e t ee

W il l y i ndeed
ou , ? sai d A ugu sta ”
cru sh i ng t he ,

pape r i n h er h an d and b iti n g i t ; b u t I m us t n o t

,

d est roy it — I mu s t k e e p i t to prov e h is t reac he ry to

h is face ”
. S h e t hr e w h erse lf o n t he so fa a s sh e s poke ,

a nd gav e v e n t t o an o u t pou r o f s pi tefu l te ars .

 C H A PTE R XXVI I

OW many cha p t ers hav e been w ritten abou t l o v e

H v erses — an d how many m ore m ight be w r itten !
m igh t wou ld cou ld shou ld or ought to be w ritten !
, , , ,

I w il l v enture to say will be written ! I h a v e a m in d

,

to fu l fi l my o wn p r oph e cy an d w ri te o n e my s e lf ; but
n o — my sto ry m us t go o n H owever I will s ay th at .
, ,

i t is qu ite cu r i ous i n h ow m any ways t h e sam e little b it

o f pa pe r may in fl u ence d i ff ere n t peop l e : t h e poem w h ose

l ite ra ry me r it m ay be small becomes p r ec ious w hen som e

val ued hand has tran scribed t he li nes ; an d t h e v e r ses
w h ose measure and mean in g v iewed i n ty pe might w i n
fa v our an d y ield p leasu r e s h oo t poison from the ir v e ry
,

s weet ness when read i n som e pa r ti cu la r han d an d u nder

,

part i c u lar ci r cu mstan ces I t was so w it h the co py o f

.

v erses A ugu sta had j ust read — they were Fan ny D aw

son s manu sc r i pt — t h at was certai n — and fou nd i n
’

t h e r oom o f A ugu sta s lo v er ; t h erefo r e A ugusta was

’

w retched Bu t t h es e same l i nes had gi ve n exquisi te

.

pleasu r e t o another pe r son wh o was n ow n early as ,

mise rab le a s A ugusta i n ha v ing los t them I t is pos .

sible the reader guesses t h at perso n t o be Edwa r d

O C o n n o r fo r i t was he who had lost th e pocket boo k
’
-

i n whi ch those ( to h i m ) p r ec iou s l ines we r e co ntai n ed ;

and i f t h e l ittle case had held all th e ban k n otes he eve r -

owned i n his life t h eir loss wou ld ha v e bee n rega r ded less
,

t h an t h at b i t O f manusc r i pt which had often y ielded !aim

,

t h e most exqu isite pleasure an d wa s now in fl i cting o n

,

A ugusta t h e bitteres t angu is h .

To m ake t h is inte lligible to t h e reader it is n ecessa ry ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 6 1

t o ex p l ai n u nd e r w ha t c i rc um s t an ces t h e l i nes w ere

w ritt e n A t ti me Edward do ubt ing t he l i keli hoo d
!

. one , ,

o f m ak ing h is way a t hom e was abou t to go to I n d ia ,

a n d pu s h h is fortun es t here a nd a t t h a t period t h ose ; ,

li nes b reath i ng f farewe ll — i m ply ing the d read o f ri v als

,
o

d uri ng ab s e n c e — a nd i mp lo ri ng re membran c e f h i s o

e t ern a l l ove were w ritte n an d g i v e n t o Fanny an d

, ;
she w ith t hat de l icacy f co nt r i v anc e
,
pec ul iar l y a o so

woman s h i t u po n t he ex ped ie n t f copy i n g h i s w

’

,
o o n

v erses an d se n d ing them t o h im i n he r w riti n g as an ,

i nd ication t ha t t he Sp i ri t f t h e l in es wa s her w o o n.

B u t Ed ward w t ha t h i fathe r w ho was ad v ancedsa s ,

i n yea r s l ooked upo n ,

s eparati on fro m h is an a so n as

e t erna l a n d th e t hou gh t ga v e
one , m uch pai n that so ,

Edward gav e u p t h e idea f ex pat ri atio n S h o r tly after o .

,

howev e r the m is u nd erst and ing w ith M aj or D awso n t ook

,

p l ac e an d Fan ny a nd Ed ward wer e as m u ch severed as

,

i f dwelli ng i n d i ff eren t zon e s U n der s uc h c i rc u m .

sta nces t hose li nes we r e pec u lia r ly p rec iou s an d many

, ,

a kiss h ad Edward im p r es sed u po n t h em t hough Augusta ,

though t t he m fit te r for t he ex erc is e f h e r t eet h tha n o

h er lips I n fac t Ed ward d id litt le el s e t ha n th in k f

.
,
o

Fa n ny an d i t is possib l e h i passio n m igh t h av e degen

; s

crated i n t o mere love s ic k n ess an d en feeb l ed h im h ad -

, ,

no t h is d es ir e f prov i ng h i m sel f worthy f hi s m is tr ess

o o

s purred hi m t o exertion i n the h op e f fu t u re d i i , o st n c

t ion B ut sti l l t he ton e O f te n de r l am e nt p er v aded ll

. a

h is poems a n d the sa m e pocke t book w hen ce t h e verses

,
-

wh ich caused m u ch co m mo t io n fe l l co n tai n ed t he fol

so

l owi ng also show i n g h w en t irely Fa nny poss e ss e d hi s

, o

h e ar t a nd occu pied h i s though t s

W H E N T HE UN I N K T O R E T S S S S

Wh h si ks r s en t e su n n to e t,
A d star f w st
n t he o t he e

h d s i t s s f si l v r l ight
S e o t e
’
o e r t h e se a

Wh a t sw t t h ugh t s a ris ee o e,
3 62 Ha n dy A n dy
A s h d im wi l ight d i s
t e t e

F h I m thi ki g f th
or t en a n n o ee

Oh th r w d i g f as t
en c o n

C m o j s f e t he p a st o
y o t he

Thr ugh h d i m ss f day s l g g ,

o t e ne O on on e by ,
L ik sta rs p pi g
e the ee n ou t ,

Thr ugh h da rk ss a b u
o t e ne o t,
Fr m s f Si l t d p h f h ky
o t he o t en e t o t e S .

hus
A n d ight
t as t h e n

G r ws m r l v l y d brigh t
,

o o e o e an

Wi th h l ri g f p la t d s a r t e e us t
’
n O ne an t
this da rk ss f mi
,

80 ne o ne

Wi a rad i a d ivi ns n ce ne

Fr m l ight th a t s i l l l i g rs a fa r
o t he t n e

Th w l m h ight
.

en e co e t e n

Wi th s ft h l y l ig t it s o o h
,

i t s sil my h a r is m r f r
In e nce e t o e ee

ru d w rld f rg t
T he e o to o e

Wh r p l asur I m e e no e e
’
ve
,

et

i Sh ur at I p rt d fr m th
nc e t h e o th a e o ee .

B ut we m us t leav e lo v e v erses and ask pardo n for t he ,

few remarks wh ich th e subj ec t te m pted an d pursue o u r ,

story .

The firs t pro m pting o f Augus t a s an ge r w h e n h ’

, s e

h ad reco v ered her b u r st f passion was to write w b o ,

“ e a

l
e t t er
”
t o F u rlong — an d h s pen t ha l f a day at t h e s e

work b u t sh e cou ld not pl e ase hersel f — Sh e tor e

;
t wenty at le ast and de t erm i ned at l ast not t o w rit e at
, , ,

all b u t j u s t w ait til l h e retu r n ed and o v erwhe l m h im

,

w ith reproaches But though she cou l d n ot compos e .

,

a let t e r h com posed herself by th e endeavou r w h ich

,
s e ,

acted as a sort f s afe ty v alve t o let ff th e p b o -

o su e ra un

d ant steam an d i t i s wo nderfu l h w genera l is th is

; o

r e sult of s itt ing down to write angry letters people v en t

t hemsel v es f th ei r s p leen o n the u n com p l a in i ng pape r
o ,

w h ic h si len tly recei v es wo rds a liste ner wou ld n ot .

Wit h a pen for ou r second desperat e satisfact ion is ,

O btai n e d with on ly a n eff us ion f i n k a n d wh e n on c e o ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 6
3 3
t h e p ent p b i tte rn ess h ooz e d i n a ll th e b l ack nes s
-
u as ou t

o f t ha t fl u id mos t ap propri a t e l y mad e f t h e b e s t galls o

— t he t i me spen t an d t h e le t t i n g f word s i f I
so “ o
”
, ,

may u set he phras e has c oo l ed j udgme n t a n d

,
our ou r

pa ss io ns togeth e r ; a n d t he firs t le t ter is torn is :

’
t t oo
sev e re w e w ri te a seco n d we b l o t an d i n ter l i n e t i ll i t
; ;
i n e ar l y i ll egib l e w e begin a t hi rd
s ; t i ll a t l as t we ar e ;
t ired o ut wi t h w angry fee l ings an d th row
our o n , ou r

s c ribbli ng by w ith a Ps haw ! what s t h e f it ?

’
u se o
”

o r,
“
It wo r th my n otice
’
s n ot sti ll be tt er arriv e ; o r, ,

a t the co n c lus ion tha t we prese rv e , w d ignity bes t ou r o n

by writ in g w ith ou t te m per t hough w e m ay be ca lle d ,

u po n t o be s e ve r e .

F urlong a t t hi s t i m e w h road D ubl i n i n

as on lS to
hap py u nco n scious ness O f Au gusta s rag e aga in s t h im ’

an d plan n i ng wha t pre t ty l it tle p res e n t h e shoul d sen d

h e r special l y for h i s h ead was n a t u ra l ly ru n n ing
,
s uc h on

matters as h e had q uan ti ties f com mi ssio ns

,
exe c te o to u

i n t he mi llin ery l i ne f M O G dy wh t hough t i tor rs .

’
ra ,
o

h igh t i m e t o b e get t i ng u p August a s w edd i ng dress es ’

-

a n d A ndy w as t o b e d e s pa t ch ed t h e follow i ng d ay to
D ub l i n t ak e ch arge f a cargo f b a n db oxes bac k
to o o

fro m tha t c i t y N e ck No t h i ng H a ll F urlong had

to -
or
-
.

r e cei v ed a t ho usa n d c harges fro m t h e l adi es t o b e s ur e ,

t o lose t i m e i doi ng h i dev o i r i n t heir beh alf an d

no n s ,

b obey ed
e s t ric tl y an d was
so act iv e i n l ay ing m i l
,
so

l i ners a n d m e rc e rs u n d e r con t ribu t io ns t ha t A ndy was ,

e nab l ed t o s t ar t t he d ay afte r hi s a rri va l so re l y again s t ,

A ndy s wi l l f he wou l d glad ly h av e re mai ned amids t

’

,
or

t he beau ty a nd gran deu r an d won ders f D ublin w h ic h o ,

stru c k h i m d umb for t he day h e was amongs t t hem b u t ,

gav e h i m food f conv ersatio n f m any a day aft e r

or or .

F u r l ong a fter racki ng hi s i n v e n t i o n abou t t h e sou v en ir

,

to h i s d ear G ussy a t le ngth fixed

“
,
a fan a s th e on ,

m os t su i t ab l e gi ft f Gu ssy had bee n qu i zz ed a t ho m e

; or

abou t b l u sh ing a nd a ll t ha t so rt f t hi ng an d t h e
“
,
”
o ,

pu e ri le p e rc e p t io n s f t h e k w so m et h ing v ery
o a t ta c e sa
3 4
6 Ha n dy A n dy
s mart i n send i ng her wher e wi t h t o hide he r bl u shes “
.

T h en the fan was the v ery pin k f fan s it h ad qu i v e r s o ;

and a rrows u pon it an d b un h es o f hearts loo ped up i n
,
c

azure festoo ns an d d oves pe rch ed upon them t h oug h

, ;
A ugusta s l ittle sister who was too yo u ng to know w h at
’

hea rts an d do v es were wh e n h w the m fo r t h e fi rst ,

S e sa

t ime sa id they were p retty l ittle birds p icking at apples

,
.

T h e fan w as packed u p i n a nice case a nd then on ,

scent ed n ote paper d id th e d ear dandy i nd it e a b it of

namby p mb y bad inage to h is fai r
-
a wh ich he thought one ,

excess i v ely cle v er

“
DE R D A D RL You know how n aughty
U CK Y A ING ,

th ey a r e i n qui zzi n g yo u abou t a little so meth i ng I w ,

on
’
t

sa
y w b yo u
at, w ill guess I dare y
— but I sen d yo u , sa

a l ittle toy I w y w
,
b wh ich C u
onpid’
migth t sa a t, on

w r ite t h is labe l after t h e doctor s fashio n To be u sed ’

occasionally w hen the patie nt is m uc h t roub l ed with the

,

sym pto ms .
’

E ve r ev e r eve r you rs , , ,
”
PS . . Take care how you open i t .

S uch was t h e note tha t H andy A ndy was g iven wi th ,

pa rt i cu la r i nju nctio ns t o deli v e r i t t h e first t h ing on h i s

a r ri v al at th e Hal l t o M iss A ug usta and t o b e su re to ,

take most part icu lar c ar e of t he little case al l wh ic h ;

A ndy faithfully prom ised to d o B ut A ndy s u s u al des .
’

ti ny p re v ai l ed an d a n u n fortu nate exch ange of pa r cels

,

qu ite u pset al l F u rlo n g s s weet little plan o f his pretty ’

presen t and h is i ng e n iou s n ote fo r as A n dy was j ust :

t aki ng h is depa t u re Fu r long said he m ight as well lea v e

r ,

somet h i ng for h i m at R d th e cut ler as he passed ea

’
e s, ,

t hr ough Co lleg e G ree n and he handed h i m a case o f ,

r azo r s whi ch wan ted sett ing w h ich A ndy p opped i nto ,

h is pocket and a s t he fan case a nd t h at of th e razo rs

,

we r e mu ch o f a si ze and bot h folded u p A ndy left th e , ,

fan at t h e cutle r s an d too k t h e case o f raz ors by way o f

’

p r esen t to A ugu sta Fan cy th e rage f a y oung lady . o

 C H AP T E R XX V I I I
H E Fa t h e r B lak e f who m A n dy s pok e w as
, o ,

more fami l iarly k now n by the n am e f Fath er o

Ph i l by whic h t itle A ndy h i mse l f wo uld h ave n am ed

,

h im had h e bee n t e l l ing h w Father Ph i l c leared a f ai r

, o ,

or equally leather e d both t h e belligeren t pa rt ies i n a

fact ion fi g h
-
tu r ne d
t, or the conten t s (or ma l contents )
out

O f a p ub li c ho us e a t a n i m p r oper hour but when he

-

;
spoke f his Reveren ce res pect ing ghostly matters th e
o ,

i mpo rt a nc e f t h e subj ect begot h igher con s ideration

o

fo r th e man an d the fam il iar Father Phi l was drop ped

,

fo r the more respec t fu l t itl e f Father B lake By eit h er

o .

title, or i n w hateve r capaci ty t he wor t hy Father h ad

,

grea t in fl uence ove r his parish and t he re was a free a nd

,
-

easy way wit h h im ev en i n doing th e most solem n

,

d uties wh ich agreed wonderfu lly w ith th e d e v i l may ca re

,
- -

S pi rit f Paddy S ti ff a nd starch ed formality i n any

o .

way i s repugnant to t he v e ry nature f I ri shmen an d I o ;

believ e one f the s u res t way s O f con ver t i ng all I relan d
o

from the Rom ish fait h wou ld be fou nd if w e co uld o n ly ,

m anag e to ha v e her m ass celeb r a t ed w ith th e d y co ld r

ness f th e Reform ation Th is may s e e m ridicu lou s at

o .

fi r st sight and I g r ant it i a grote s q u e way f v iew ing

, s o

the subj ect bu t yet t here m ay be t ru t h i n i t and to

, ;
co nsi der i t for a mom en t seriously look a t th e fac t that , ,

the n orth o f Ire lan d is th e st r onghold f Pro te s t ant is m o ,

and t h at t h e n orth is t he l I rish po r t io n f th e is land

e a st o .

T h ere is a strong ad m ixtu re f S cotch there an d a l l w ho

o ,

k now the count ry wi ll ad mit t h at t h e r e i n e rly m uc h s a as

d i ff e rence be t w ee n m e n from t h e no rt h an d sou t h f I r e o

 Ha n dy A n dy 6
3 7

l an d from d i ff e re n t cou n t ri e s Th e Nort h e rn s retai n

as .

mu ch O f t he cold fo rma l i t y and unbendi ng hardn e ss f o

t he stran ger—se tt lers fro m w hom t hey ar e descend ed ,

w hi l e t he S o u t h e rn s exh ib i t tha t warm h e ar t ed l iv e l y -

, ,

and po e t ca l t em p e ram e n t f
i wh ic h t he cou n t ry i or s

c elebrat ed The prevail ing n a t i o n a l c haracterist ics f

. o

I re l an d ar e n o t b e fou nd i n t h e n ort h where Pro t es

to ,

r antism fl ou ishes ; t h ey ar e t o be fou n d i n t h e sou t h and

r

wes t w h e re i t has n ever t ake n roo t A n d t houg h i t h as

,
.

n e v er seem e d t o strik e t heologian s t ha t i n t he ir v e ry ,

na t u res som e p e o pl e a r e m o r e adap te d r e cei ve to o ne

faith t han noth e r yet I be l iev e i t t o b e t rue and pe r

a , ,

ha ps q u it e u nwort hy f co n side ra t io n T her e are

n ot o .

forms i t i s t rue a nd ma ny i n t he Rom i sh c h u rch b u t

, , ,

t hey ar e n o t ld fo rms b u t co i ra t h e r ,
a se ns i a tt r a ct v e ,
to
tiv e people b e side s I bel ieve t hos e ve ry forms w he n
; , ,

observed th e l eas t fo rm a l ly are t h e mos t i n fl ue nti al ,

on

t h e I ri sh ; a n d perh aps t he S pl en dours f a H igh M ass o

i n t he gorgeo us t em ple f t he H oly C i ty w ou ld appea l o

l es s to t h e a ff ec t io n s O f an I rish peasan t than t he servi ce

h e w itn ess e s i n som e h al f t ha t c hed ru in by a l on e h i ll -

s ide fam i l i arly h u rri e d t hrou gh by a p ries t wh o h

,
as

sharpen e d hi ap peti t e by a mou n t ain rid e f some fi ftee n

s o

m i l es ,
d is s ay i ng m ass (
an for t h e th i rd t i me mos t l ike l y )
befo re b reak fa s t w hic h co n s um ma t ion f hi s mo r n ing s
, o
’

e xerc ise h e i s anx io u s t o arriv e a t .

I t was j us t i n su h a chapel and u nder s uc h ci rc u m

c
,

s t an ce s t ha t F a t he r B l ake was celeb rat ing th e mass a t

,

whi h An dy w as presen t an d after whi ch h e ho ped

c
,
to

ob t ai n a wo rd f ad v i ce fro m th e wo rt hy Fa t her wh
o ,
o

w as m uc h more sou gh t a fter suc h occasio ns t han h i on s

more sed a t e su pe rio r w ho presided ov er t h e spi ritu a l we l

fare f t he paris h
o a n d whose so lem n celebrat io n f t h e o

m as s w by as mean s agreeab l e as t h e l ighter serv i ce

no so

o f Father Phi l Th e Rev D om i n ic k D ow ling was

. . au s

t er e an d l o ng w ind ed b i mass h ad a n o pp ressi v e e ff ec t

-

; s

on h i c o gre ga t io n a n d fro m t h e k nee ling m u l ti t ud e

s n
,
3 68 Ha n dy A n dy
migh t b e seen ey es fea r ful ly l ook ing u p fro m u nder ben t
b r ows an d low breat h ings and subd ued g r oans often
;
rose abo v e the s ile nce f h is congregation who felt l ke O ,
i

s i n ne r s an d w hose i magin at ion s were fi lled w it h t h e

,

t houghts o f H ea v en s ange r w h i le t he good h u mou r ed

’
; -

face f t he l igh t h ea r ted Father P h il p r od uc ed a co r re

o -

s p on d i g bright
n ness on the looks of hi s hea r ers who ,

tu rned u p thei r whole fac e s in t rust fu l ness to the mer y c

o f that H eav e n whose pro pitiatory O ff e ring t hei r pas tor

was maki ng for t hem i c heerfu l to nes wh ic h assoc iated n ,

well wi th t houghts f pa r don an d sal v at ion o .

Fa t her D om in ick pou r ed fo rth h is Spiritual infl u ence

li ke a s tro ng da r k stream t h at swe pt down t h e h ea r er
h opelessly st ruggl ing t o keep h is head abo v e the torre nt ,

an d d d i to be o v erwh elmed a t the n ext wo r d

re a n .

Father Ph il s rel ig ion bubbled ’

like a m oun tain ri ll ou t

b r ig h t m usical an d refr es h i ng
, ,
Fat h er D om in ick s .
’

people had deci dedly need o f cork j ac kets Father P h il s ;

’

m ig h t d rin k a nd be refr esh ed .

B u t w ith all h i i nt r i n si c worth he was at the same

t s , ,

t im e a strange m an i n ext e r ior man ners fo r w ith an

, ; ,

ab undance o f real piety he had an ab r u ptn ess o f del i v e ry

,

and a Strange way of m ix i ng u p an o ccasion al re ma r k to

h i congregation i n th e m id st of t h e celeb r ation o f th e
s

mass w h i h m ight wel l st art le a st r anger b u t th is v e ry

, c ;
want o f fo r m ality made h i m belo v ed by t h e people and ,

they wou ld do ten t im es as muc h fo r Father Phi l as for

F ather D om in ic k .

O n t he S u n day i n question wh en A ndy at t en ded the ,

c h ape l Fat her P h i l i ntended del i v e r ing ad dress to h is

, an

fl oc k from th e altar u rging t h e m to t h e n ecessity o f b

,
e

sti r r i ng them selves i n th e re pai rs of t h e chape l w hich ,

was i n a v ery d ila pidated cond ition an d at e nd let i n ,

on e

the rain th rough its worn out t hatch A subscript io n -

.

was n ec e ss ary an d t o raise th is among a ve y imp

; r o ve r

i h d peo ple was n o easy matter

s e T he weather hap .

pened t o be u n fav ou rable which was m os t favou rab l e to ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 6
3 9

Fa t h e r Phi l s pu rpos e fo r t h e rai n dro pp e d i t s a rgu m e n t s

’

t h rough the roo f u po n th e kn e e li ng peo p l e b el ow in t h e

mos t c onv i n c ing man ner an d t hey e n d e avour e d to ; as

ge t ou t f t he wet t h ey pr e s sed rou nd th e a l tar as m uch

o ,

as t hey cou ld for w h ic h t h ey were e p rov e d very s martly

, r

by his Re v ere nce i n th e v e ry m ids t f t h e mass a n d o ,

t hese i nt erru ption s oc cu rr e d som et i m es i n the m ost

seri ous places p roduc i ng a l ud icro us e ff ec t f which t h e
, ,
o

worthy Fa t h er w qu ite u n con sc iou s i n h i grea t a nxiety

as s

t o mak e the p e op le r e pai r t h e chape l .

A b ig wom an was e lbow ing h e r way t oward s th e rai l s

o f t h e al t ar and Fa t h e r Ph i l c asti ng a sidelong glan ce a t
, ,

her sen t h e r to t he righ t about w h ile h e i n t errupt e d h i

,
-

, s

a ppeal H eav e n
to add ress her thu s to 2
“ Ag D i
n us
y d be t t
e e r j u m— p ov e r t
ouh e rai
’
l s f t h e o

a tl h I t h in k G a l ong
a r, . t h a t t her e p le n ty
o o ut 0
’

,
’
s 0
’

room i n t h e c h ape l be l ow there ”

.

The n he wou ld t u rn th e altar a n d proc ee d w i t h t h e to ,

s e rv ice t i ll t urn ing aga in t o t he c o grega t io n h e p e r

,
n

ce vei d so m e fres h o ff en der .

0 f
r a te, wi l l m
r a t r er
y i n d wh a t I y y ou sa to ou

a n d go a long f t ha t ? there s room below t he re

o ut o
’
.

Th ru e f y M
or Fin n ou, i t a sham e
rs . f h i m t o b e ’
s or

t h mpli
ra y ou G alon g D arby Casy d own t here
n
’
on . o , , ,

an d k neel i n th e rai n it a pity y hav e ; ad ’

s ou n t
’
ace n t

wo m an s c loak u ndher y
’
i n deed ! 0 f l
ou ra te
,
r a t r et
.

T h en wou ld t he s e rv ic e proceed again and wh i l e h e ,

prayed i n s ilen c e a t th e a l tar t h e sh u ffl i ng f feet edg ,

o

i n g ou t f t he rai n w ou ld d is t u rb h im a n d cas t ing

o ,

a backward glance h e wo u l d y , sa
“ I hear y th ere — ca n t y ou b e q uie t a n d be ’
ou n ot

di st u rbi t he m as s y h y h ?
n
’

,
ou a t e ns
”

Again h e proc e eded i n si len c e t i ll t h e c ry in g f ,

o

a ch i ld in t errup t ed h i m H e l ook e d rou n d qu i ck l y . .

Y d bett e r k i ll th e chi l d I t h i n k h mp li
’ ’
ou , ,
t ra n on

hi m Lav e ry G
,
tha t . you r co n d u c t i scan da
o ou t 0
’
s

l ou s D mi obi m n us v o scu
 37 0 Ha n dy A n dy
A ga i n h e t u rned to pray and a fter so m e t i me h e
,

made an i n t erval i n the ser v i ce to add ress his co ngrega

ti o n o n t he subj ec t o f the repairs and produced a pa per ,

contain ing t h e nam e s o f subscribers t o t ha t piou s wo r k

who h ad already con t ribut e d by way o f e xample t o ,

t hos e w ho h ad ”n o t .

H e r e i t is said Fat her Ph il

,
“
h e re i t is an d n o , ,

denyi ng it down i n b lac k a n d w hit e ; b u t i f they wh o

gi ve ar e down i n b lack h ow much b lacker ar e t hos e
,

w h o hav e n o t give n at all — b u t I ho p e they w i ll be

ashamed o f t hemselves whe n I h o wld u p t hose to
honou r w ho hav e cont ribu ted t o th e u p ho wld in g o f t he
hous e of God A nd i s n t i t as ham e d o y ou r sel v es yo u
.
’ ’

ought to b e t o l e av e H is h ous e i n suc h a con d it io n

,

a nd does n t i t rai n a mo st e ve ry S und ay as i f H e

’ ’

w ished t o r e mi nd y o u of y ou r d u ty ? a r e n t you we t ’

t o th e Ski n a mo st e v ery S unday ? O h God i s good

’
,

to you ! t o pu t you i n m in d o f y ou r d uty giv ing you ,

su ch b it t h e r c o wld s tha t yo u ar e cough i ng a nd s n e e z in ’

e very S u nday t o that degre e t hat y o u ca n t h ear th e ’

b lessed mas s fo r a com fo rt an d a be nefi t t o you ; an d

ou 1 1 go o n s n e e z in u nti l o u pu t a good thatch o n
’ ’
so
y y
t h e place an d prevent t he appea rance o f th e ev iden ce
,

fro m H eaven agai nst yo u ev e ry S u nd ay wh ich is co n ,

d e mn in g yo u be fore you r faces a n d behi n d y our backs ,

too for d on t I s e e this m i n it a stram e o wathe r tha t

,
’ ’

migh t t u rn a mi l l ru n n i n g down M icky M a c k a v o y s ’

back be t w e en t h e co l lar o f his coat and hi s shi r t ?

,
”

He re a laug h en s u e d a t the expe n se o f M icky

M ac k a v oy wh o c e rtai nly wa s u n d e r a very h e a v y d r i p
,

fro m the i mperfec t roof .

“
A nd i s it l augh i ng y ou are y o u hay t he n s ? sai d ,

Fath e r Ph i l r e prov ing th e m erri m e n t wh ic h he h i mself

,

had purposely c reated t b a t b e mig b t r ep r ov e it

,
Laugh .

i ng i s i t you ar e — a t you r backs l id i ngs and i n sen s ib i l ity

t o t h e ho nour o f G od — laughi ng because wh e n y o u ,

com e h ere t o b e sa v ed y o u ar e lost in t ire ly with t h e we t ;

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 71
and how I as k yo u a re my words o f com for t t o e n te r
, ,

yo u r hearts when the ra i n i s po u rin g dow n you r backs

,

a t t he same t im e ? S ure I h av e n o chance o f t u rn ing

your hear t s w h i l e y o u ar e u ndher ra i n t ha t m ight t ur n
a m i l l — bu t on c e p u t a good roof o n t h e ho u se a n d ,

I w i ll in u nda t e y o u w i t h p i et y ! M ayb e it s F a t h e r ’

Dom in i ck y o u wou l d l ik e t o hav e co m ing am ong y ou ,

w ho wou l d grin d you r h ea rt s t o po wd he r wi t h h is heavy

word s .
”
(H er e a low murm u r o f d issen t ran th roug h

t he t h rong ) H a ! ha s o y o u would n t li k e i t I se e
.
’

, .

V ery we l l v e ry w ell — t ake ca re t h en fo r i f I fin d y o u

, ,

i nse n sib le t o my m od era te reproo fs y o u hard hea r t ed ,

-

hay t h e n s y ou m a le f ac t ho r s a nd c rue l p e r s e c u t h o rs ,

t hat won t put you r hand s i n yo ur poc ke t s bec aus e you r

’
,

m i ld and q u ie t poor foo l o f a pa s t h o r ha s n o t ongue i n

h is h ead l — I s ay you r m i l d q u ie t poo r fool o f a , ,

p a st h o r ( for I kno w my o wn fau l ts partl y Go d fo rgi v e , ,

me an d I can t s pak e t o y o u as y o u deserve y o u hard

’

l iv i ng v agab o n e s t h at ar e as i n sen sib le t o yo u r d u t i e s as

,

o u are t o t h e w e a t her I wis h i t was sugar o r sal t

y .
y ou

w e re m ad e o f an d t he n t h e rai n m igh t me l t y o u i f I
,

cou ld n t : bu t n o — t hem n ak e d r a ft h e rs g r i n i n y ou r
’

fac e t o n o pu rpose — y o u ch a te t he hou se o f God ; bu t

t ake ca re mayb e y o u won t chate t h e div il so a isy
,
’

( he re th e re w a s a s en sat ion
) H a ! ha ! th. a t m ak e s
o u O pe n yo u r ea rs d oes i t ? M or e sh ame f or you ;
y ,

y ou ough t t o d es pis e t ha t di rt y en e my o f m an and ,

d epe nd o n so meth in g b e t t h e r — bu t I s e e I m us t call

o u t o a se ns e o f you r situa t ion wit h t h e bot t o m l ess pi t
y ,

u n dher y o u an d no roo f o ver y o u O h d ear ! d ear !

, .

d ear ! I m ash amed o f y ou — troth if I had t ime a n d

’

s t h ra w e nough I d ra t her t h a t c h t h e place mysel f t h a n

’

l ose my t i me t a l k ing t o you ; su re t h e p l ace i s m ore li ke

a s t able t han a ch apel O h t hi n k o f t ha t — t h e hou s e
.
,

o f G o d t o b e l ik e a S t able for though o u r Redeeme r ,

i n hi s hu m i l ity was born i n a stab l e t ha t is n o reaso n

, ,

why y o u ar e t o k ee p h is house a l ways l ike o ne .

3 72 Ha n dy A n dy
“ A nd n o w I w i ll rea d yo u the list o f subscribers a n d ,

i t wi ll make y o u ash amed when you h ea r the na mes o f

s e v e r a l good and wo rt hy Protes tants i n the parish and out ,

o f i t too who ha v e g iven more than t he C atho lics

, , .

H e then proc e ed ed to read th e fol lowi ng list whic h ,

h e i nterlarded co pi ou sly w ith O bs er v atio n s of h is ow n ;

m ak i ng v iv a v oce ma rgi n al n ot e s as i t were u pon the
”

s ubscribe r s wh ic h were not u nfrequ e nt l y an swered by

,

t h e person s s o n ot iced fro m th e body o f the chapel an d

, ,

laughte r was o ften the co n sequence o f these rejo inders ,

w h ic h Fath e r Ph il n e v er permitt e d t o pass w itho ut a

retort No r m us t al l th is be co nsidered i n t h e l east
.

i rre ve rent A cert ain pe r iod i s al lowed betw e en two

.

part icu lar po r tion s o f t h e m ass w hen the priest may ,

add res s h i s congregatio n o n any p ublic m att e r : a n

ap proach i ng patte r n o r fair o r t he li ke ; in wh ich
, , ,

e x ho rtatio ns to propriety o f co ndu ct or warn ings agai n st ,

factio n fights & c are his the mes The n they on ly

,
.
,
.

l is t e n i n reverenc e B ut when a subscription for s uc h

'

an objec t as t hat alr e ady ment ioned i s under d i scussion ,

th e fl oc k co nsider t hemsel ves entitl e d t o p u t i n a

“

”
word i n case o f nec essity .

Thi s pr e l im in a ry h i n t is giv e n to th e read e r th a t h e ,

may bet te r ent e r into th e sp irit o f F a t h e r Ph il s ’

S U B S C RI PTION L IST
F OR THE R E PA IR S E N L A R G E M E NT
A ND OF BA LL Y
SL O U G H G U T P H E RY C H A P E L

PH IL IP B L A K E P P , . .

M 1ok y Ric k y H e might as well h ave made t en

sh il li ngs : bu t h alf a l oaf i s b e t t h e r
than n o bread .

Plase you r rever e nce s ays ,

M ick fro m th e body o f th e ch apel

, ,

“ sure sev e n and s ix p e n ce is mo r e -

3 74 Ha n dy A n dy
S i m n Le 2
’
Y ough
“ t t o be ouasham ed o
’

you rsel f S i mon a l on e w idow

o a ry
i e
Br dg t M u rp h y o
,
:
”
wom an give s m o re t han you .

S imo n ans wered I ha v e a l arge ,

“

”
fami ly i and h has no h ild h,
s r, s e c re .

That not her fau lt said th e

“ ’
s ,
”

priest an d m ayb e she ll men d ’

that yet
0
’
Thi s e xcited m uc h .
”

merri ment for the wid ow was buxom , ,

a nd had recent ly b uried an O ld h us

band and by all ac cou nts was cock
, , ,

i ng h er cap at a hands om e y ou ng
fellow i n the parish .

J u d y M oy l a n o Ve r y g d ] dy th e wome n ar e oo ,
u ;
beha v i ng l ke gentl eme n th ey 11have i ;
’

t h eir reward i n the n ext wo r ld .

P at F i nn e rt y 0 3 4 I m not su re i f i t i s 8 4d
“ ’
5 . . or

3 4 d3 for
. the fi gu re
. is
,
b lotted
but I belie v e i t is 8 4d 5 . .

It was th ree an d fou r pi nce

“

I ga v e you r r ev erence sai d Pa t ,

”

from the c rowd .

“
Wel l Pat as I said e igh t an d
, ,

fou r pe nce y ou m u s t no t let m e go

back 0 my word so b ring m e fi v e
’

s h illi ngs n ex t week ”

.

S u re you wo u ld n t hav e m e pay ’

for a b l ot si r ? ”
,
“
Yes I wou l d t hat s t h e ru le
,
’

of back man no n you kn ow Pat -

, .
,

Wh en I h it the b l ot you pay ,

”
for it .

H ere h is re veren c e tu r ned rou nd ,

as i f l oo king for som e o n e and ,

cal led o u t “
Ra ff erty ! Ra ff erty ! ,

R a ff e rty ! Where a r e you Raf ,

fe t t y
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 75
. d .
A n ld g rey h e ad e d man app e ared
o -

bearing a l arg e p la te a n d F a t h e r ,

Phi l co n t i n u e d
Th e re
“
w b e ac t i v e — I mno ,
’

s e nd i n g h i m amo ng y good p e o ou ,

p le and such as ca nn o t giv e as

,

m u ch y wouasld l i k e t o
oub e r e ad
be for e you r n eighbou rs gi ve wha t ,

l i tt le y ca n t oward s th e r e pai rs
ou
,

an d I w i l l co nt i n ue t o read t he out

n am es by way f enco u ragem e n t to o

you and t h e nex t n am e I s e e i s

,

that f S q u ir e Ega n Lon g l ife t o

o .

him !
Sq u i re Eg n
a S S qu ir e Egan fi v e pou n ds
“

l is t e n t o t hat fiv e po u n ds a

P i
r ot e st a n t b p ii fiv e
n t e ar s a

pou nds Faith t he Pro t esta n t s w il l

’
,

mak e y ashamed f y ourse l ves if

ou o ,

w e do n t t ake c are ’
.

O No t h e r w parish ei t h e r o n ,

ki n d l ady .

0 A nd h e r e I mu s t r e mark t h a t
“

t h e people f Rou n d t ow n hav e n o t o

b ee n bac kward i co mi ng forward n

t his o ccasion I have a long l is t

on .

fro m Rou n d t ow n — I wi l l read it

sep arat e H e t he n proceeded a t a
.
”

grea t pac e j u mbl ing t h e tow n an d ,

the pou nds an d t he peop l e i n a most

e x t rao rdi nary m a n n e r J am es “

M i lligan f Ro u nd t ow n o pou n d ,
one ;
D arby D aly f Ro u n d t ow n o ,
one

po u n d S a m F i n n iga O f Rou n d
; n

town pou n d J am e s Cas e y f

,
o ne ; o

R dp
ou n d t own K i t D wy e r
ou n ,
on e ;
f T w p
o od ro u n d
n ou npou n d , o ne
3 76 Ha n dy A n dy
u dI m an e Pa t R d p ; d Po u n ou n ou n

d en I man e,
Pat P d a po un d oun en

O f Pou ndtown also t he re s a n ’

e xam p l e fo r y ou but what are yo u

about Ra ff ert y I d,
li k b d on
’
t e t c sou n

f / p l of y you are n ot a
'

o t oa t a te ou r s ;

good gl e an er go u p fi r s t i nto the

ga ll e ry t here wh ere I ,
many se e so

good looki ng bon net s

-
I suppos e
t h e y w i l l gi ve som et hing t o ke e p
t heir bo n nets f th e rain for the out o ,

w et w i l l be i n to t he gallery nex t
S un day i f they d o n t I t h ink th at ’
.

i s K itty C row I ge t t ing h e r b i t se e ,

f Si l v er r e ady
o the m ribbo n s f ; o

you rs cos t a t ri fl e K itty We l l ,

.
,

goo d Christians her e i mo r e o f t h e , s

s ub scri p t ion for y ou .

e
M at t h w L a v e ry O 2 6 H does n t bel ong t o Rou nd
e
’

t ow n Rou n dtow n w i l l b e re

w d i n futu re ages for the

no ne
p su

po r t f th e C hu rch
O Mark my .

words Rou nd tow n wi ll prosper

from thi s day u Rou ndtown o t
will be a risi ng plac e .

H 0 O n e wou ld t h in k they all agre e d

N 0
“ 0 on ly to give w an d S ix pence apiece t o .

A nd they co m fo rt able m e n too ! ,

An d l oo k at t h ei r n am e s — M at
t h e w M ark Lu ke and John t he
, , , ,

n ames f the B lessed Ev ange lists

o ,

a n d only te n sh il l ings a mo ng t h e m !
O h they are apost l es
,
worthy f n ot o

t h e n ame w e ll ca l l t h em th e P ’
oor

Ap l fro m th is
os t e s
( h er e a l ow out
”

laugh ran through th e ch apel )

D o y hear t hat M att h e w M ark
ou , , ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 77
Lu k e a n d Joh n ? Fa i t h I ca n t e l l
,
’

y ou t ha t n am e w i ll s t ic k to y ou .

( H e r e t h e l augh w l o ud e r ) as .

A vo ic e wh e n t he l augh s ubsi d e d
, ,

e xc l a i m e d I ll make i t t en hilli
,
“ ’
s n s,
’

your rev e re nce .

Wh t ha t said Fa t h e r Ph i l
o
’
s .

H e n n e ssy you r rev e re n ce ,

.
”

V ery wel l M ark

“
I s u ppose
,
.

M a tt h e w L u k e a n d Jo h n w i ll f l
, , o

l w your e xam p l e ?
o

W e wi ll y ou r r e v e ren c e , .

A h I t ho ugh t y m ade a m i s ou

t ake we ll ca l l y;
’
w th e F i k ou no a i

f l u A p l a n d
ost e s I t h i n k t he c hange
i n t he n am e i s b h t han s e v e n e tt er

a n d Six p en ce a p iec e y to ou .

I y i
se en t he ga l lery
ou t here ,

R a ff e rty Wh a t d you pass t ha t

. o

we l l d ess e d wom a n f
-
r h y back or t r

ha l — t h a t — h had her
se e s e

m on ey ready i f y on l y as ked f i t ou or

do n t g by t h at other woma n
’
o

t her e O h h S o y wo n t gi v e ,
o ou
’

a n y t hi ng m a am Y ,
ough t to b e
’
. ou

ash am e d f yours el f o There is a .

wo man w ith a n e l egan t h w b st ra on

n e t an d h wo n t giv e a f l i g
, s e
’
a rt i n .

Wel l w afther t ha t no re me mber

— I giv e i t fro m th e l h t ha t a t a r,

f r om t b is d ay ou t st b r a w bon ne t s pay
fi p e n ny p ie ces
’
.

T h o mas D u rf y ,
E sq l O
“
It his paris h a n d h e s a
’
s n ot
’

b rav e gent l ema n

.

nny
.

M i Fa D aw
A Pr ot e st a n t ou t o b e p a r il
f
ss

so n I 0 0
t ,

and a swee t you ng l ady Go d b l ess

.

h e r ! O h fai t h t h e Pro te sta nt s is

,
’
,

s h am i ng y o u l
3 78 Ha n dy A n dy
De nn i s Fa nn i n Ve ry good i nd ee d , ,
for a wo rking
mason .

J mmy
e Ri l y 5 e O Obad fo r a hedg e c a rpe nt he r
N ot -
.

I gave yo u t en pla z e you r , ,

r e veren ce s houted J em my “ an d
”
, ,

by th e s am e t oken you may re mem ,

ber i t was o n t he Nati v ity o f th e

B lessed V a rg in Sir I ga v e y o u the , ,

second fi ve shillin s ” ’
.

“
SO yo u d id Jemmy cried Father
, ,

Phi l I put a l ittle cross befo r e it ,

to remi nd m e o f i t ; but I w as in a
h u r ry to mak e a si ck cal l when y o u
gave it to m e an d fo rgo t it afther : ,

a n d i ndeed myself does n t know ’

w ha t I d i d w ith that sam e fiv e

sh i ll ings .

H ere a palli d woma n who was ,

kneeling nea r the ra ils o f t he altar ,

uttered a n im passi on ed blessi ng a nd ,

excla imed O h t hat was the v e ry

“
, ,

five s hi ll ings I m su re you ga v e t o

,
’

m e that v e ry d ay to buy some l ittl e ,

co m fort s for my poo r h usband who ,

w as dy ing i n th e fe v er and the

poor wo ma n b urs t i nto lou d sobs as
s h e S poke .

A d e ep t hri ll o f emot io n ran th rough the floc k as th is

acciden ta l proo f o f t hei r poor pastor s b e n e fi c e n c e b urst ’

upo n the m ; and as a n a ff ectionate m u r mu r b egan t o ri se

abov e the si lenc e wh ich that emot ion prod uced the bu rly ,

Fat h er Phi lip blushed like a girl at thi s pub lication o f

h is c harity an d e v en at the foot o f tha t altar where he
,

stood felt som e th ing li ke shame i n bei ng d isco v ered

,

in the commi ssio n O f that v i rtue so hig h ly co m m e nded

by th e H oly O n e to w h ose wo r ship t he alta r was
rais e d H e utt e red a has t y
.
“ VV
h i sh t — ”
w hisht ! a nd
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 79

w aved w i t h hi ou t s t r et ched hands h is fl oc k i n t o

s

s fl e nc e .

In in s t an t
an f t hose su dden c han ges com mon
o ne o

t o a n I rish assemb ly and s ca rcely credibl e a stranger ,

to ,

t ook place Th e m u l t itud e was h ushed — t he gro t esqu e

.

o f t he subscri pt ion l i st had passed away a nd was for

gotte n a nd that s am e ma n an d t ha t sam e m u ltitud e
,

s t ood in a lt er e d re l a t i o n s — l y were agai n a rev eren t t) e

floc k a n d l o n ce more a solem n pastor t he natu ra l

,
ye ;
play o f h is n atio n s m i rt h fu l sarcasm was absorbed i n a
’

m ome n t i n the sacred ness f hi s o ffi ce an d with a o ;

so l em ni ty befitt i ng t he h igh est occas ion h e placed h i s ,

h and s t ogether before h is breast an d raisin g h is ey e s t o ,

H eav e n b pou red fo rt h h i s we et v oice with a to n e f

e s ,
o

t he dee pes t d evot io n i n t ha t re v e r e n t ial call t o pray e r

”
, ,

O ra
fte, r a t r e s.

The so und f a m u l t i t ud e ge n tly k n eel ing dow n fol

o

l owed l i k e t h e so ft b reak in g f a qu iet

,
a san dy o se a on

beach an d whe n Fat he r P h ili p t u rn ed t o t h e a l t ar to

;
pray h i pen t p feeli ngs fou n d v e n t i n te ars a n d w h i le
,
s -
u ;
h e p ray ed h e wep t ,
.

I be li ev e su c h s c e nes as th is ar e f u n fre q u e n t n ot o

occurre n c e i n I relan d t hat cou ntry l o ng su ff eri ng s o

; so -

m uch ma l igned and l i ttle u nd erstood

,
so .

S u ppose t he forego ing scene to hav e bee n o nly d e

scrib e d a n t e c e d e n t t h e woman i n the ou t break f he r
to o

grati t ud e r e veal ing t h e pries t s c h ari ty from wh ich he ’

reco i l e d s u ppose t h e m irth fuln ess o f t he i nc id en t s

,
-

ari sing fro m read i ng th e s u bsc ri pti on l ist — mi rthfu l -

a

ness b ord eri ng t he lu d ic rou s to have bee n record e d

on ,

and n othi ng mor e a s t ra nger wou l d be i nc li ned t o b

,
e

l ieve a n d pardo n able i n t he be l ief t h a t t he I ri sh and

, ,

t heir pri e s thood were rather pro ne t o b e i rre v e r e n t b u t

observ e u n d e r t h is ex t erio r th e d e ep sou rc e s O f fee l ing
, ,

t hat l ie h id de n an d wai t b u t th e wand f d iv i n ation t o be o

re v ealed I n a thou sand s i m ilar way s ar e t he ac t ion s

.

an d t h e mo t iv e s O f t h e Iris h u n ders t ood by t h os e who

 Ha n dy A n dy
are care l es s o f ; or th e m wo rse m is repr e sen t ed by t hos e ,

w hose in teres t an d too often bu sin ess it i s to malign

, ,

th em .

Father Ph i l could proceed n o fu rt h e r w ith t h e read ing

o f the subscri ption li st bu t fi n ished th e o ffi ce o f t h e
-

m ass w ith u n us ua l sole mn ity B ut i f t h e i ncide n t j ust .

recorded ab ridged h i s address a nd t he publicat io n o f ,

d onors n ames by way o f st im u lu s to t he less act ive i t

’

prod uced a great e ff ect o n those w ho had b ut s maller

don atio ns to dro p i nto t h e plate ; and the grey headed -

collector w ho co uld ha v e n u mbe r ed the s ca n ty co i n

,

before the b ereav ed w idow had revealed the pastor s ’

c harity h ad to struggle h is way afte rwa rds t h rough t he

,

eagerly ou t str e tch e d hands t ha t s howered t hei r hard

ea r ned pen c e u po n the plate w hich was bo rne bac k to ,

t h e altar h eaped w ith contribution s heaped as i t had n ot ,

b een seen for m any a d ay The stud ied exc i t e m en t o f .

thei r prid e a nd thei r sham e — and both a r e activ e agen ts

i n the I rish natur e — was less s uccessfu l than t h e acc i
d e nta l ap peal t o the i r a ff ect ions .

O h ! ru le r s O f Ireland w hy h a v e you no t soon e r ,

l ea rned to le a d that peo pl e by love who m all you r ,

s eve r ity has bee n u nab l e t o d r iv e

W h en the m ass was over A ndy waited a t t h e doo r ,

o f the chapel t o catch h is riv e re n c e com in g o u t and ,

obtai n h is adv ic e about wha t he o v erheard from Lar r y

H oga n ; an d Fat her P hil was acco rd ingly accosted by
A ndy j ust as he was go ing t o get into h i s sadd le to r ide
o ve r t o b r eak fast w ith o n e of t he n eighbou r ing fa r mers ,

w ho was ho ldi n g th e priest s st i rru p at t h e mo ment ’

.

Th e e xtr e me u rge ncy o f Andy s man n er as b e pressed ’

p t o th e pasto r s si de made t h e l a t ter paus e an d in

’
u
,

q u i r e w ha t h e wanted
Wh this pa ssag wa s wri t I r la d wa s d isturb d (a s h h
1
en e te n e n e s e as

too f b ) b sp i al pa rl i a m ta ry pr v ati
o t en een
y ec v a en o oc on : — t he ex

i us vigi la f l gis a t iv ly s
t o n ce o p vish ss f p al t r
e l e nx e the ee ne O y
p rs u t rs
e ec o .
 C H APTE R XXIX

O H N D WYE R S ho use was a S c e n e o f ac t ivi t y t hat

’

day for n o t on ly was th e pries t t o br e akfast there

,

a l ways an a ff ai r o f honou r — bu t a g ra nd d i n ner was

also prep arin g o n a l arge sc ale f o r a wedd ing feast was -

to b e h e l d in t he hou se i n h on ou r o f M atty D wy er s
,
’

n u ptia l s wh ich w e re to be ce l eb r a te d t hat day wit h a

,

n e ighbou r ing yo ung farme r rather w ell t o do i n the

world Th e match had been o n and o ff for so me ti m
,

. e ,

for Joh n D wyer was what i s com monly cal led a clos e
”
fi st e d fellow and h is wou ld b e so n in law cou ld not
,
- - -

b r ing h i m t o wh a t h e con s idered p roper term s and ,

t hough M atty li ked yo u ng Casey and h e w as fon d o f

,

her t hey both agree d not t o l et old Jack D wyer ha ve

,

t he best o f th e bargai n i n po rtion ing o ff his daught e r ,

who hav i ng a spice o f h er father i n he r was j ust as

, ,

fon d O f n u mbe r on e as o ld Jac k h im se l f A n d here it i s .

wo r thy of remark t hat t hough t h e I r ish are s o pro n e i n

, ,

g e n e ral t o early and im p r o v iden t marriages n o people ,

are close r i n th e i r n u pti al barter whe n th ey are i n a

,

condition t o make marriage a pro fi table contrac t Re .

p e a t e d mee t i ngs b e tw e en th e elders O f famil ies tak e

place and acute argu ment s en su e proper l y t o equalis e
, ,

t he world ly goods t o b e gi v en o n both sid e s Po t s and .

pan s are ba l anced aga in s t pa ils and ch urn s cows again st ,

hors e s a sli p of h o g again st a gra ve l pit o r a pa t ch o f

,
-

m eado w agai nst a b it o f a quarry ; a l itt l e l ime ki ln -

som eti mes b u rn s st ro nger tha n t he fl ame o f C u pid

t h e clo v es o f V en us herse l f ar e bu t c rows i n c omparison
w ith a good fl oc k o f ge e se an d a l ov e S ic k s igh le ss -
 Ha n dy A n dy 3 83

t ouch i n g t h a n t h e h e a lt hy g ru nt f a good pig i nd e ed o ; ,

t he las t n am ed gen tl e ma n is a mo s t u sefu l agen t i n th is

-

t raff c for wh e n ma tt ers are ne ar ly poi sed th e ba l a n c e is

i , ,

o fte n adj us t ed by a grunter w t h row n i n t o e ither or t o

scale W h i l e m a tt ers ar e t hus i n a s t a t e f d eba t e

. o ,

q u arre l s som et imes occur b et w e e n t h e l ov e rs t he g e n t l e

ma n s ca ution so m e ti mes t akes alarm a n d m or e f
’

,
re

quen t l y t h e l ady s prid e i a rous e d at t h e t oo ob v io us

’
s

prefe r e n c e giv e n to wor l dly gai n over h e av enly beauty ;

C upid s h ies a t M am mo n a n d Hy m en i u ps et an d left , s

i n t he m i re .

I r e m e mb e r h e ari ng O f a n in s t a n ce f t h i s n a t u r e o ,

whe n t he l ady gav e her i d l over a n i ng en iou s c -

ev a nt

reproof after t hey had bee n separate d so me t i me w h en

, ,

a marriage barga i n was broken ff becau s e t h e l ov er

-
o ,

cou ld ob t a i n fro m the gir l s father a c e r t a in brow n

n ot
’

fi l ly as part f h e r d ow ry T he d amsel afte r th e

o .
,

l apse f so m e w ee ks m et h e r swa i n a t a n eighbou r

o ,

i ng fai r a nd t h e fl ame f l ov e s t ill smou l d e ri ng i n his

,
o

hear t w i ll u m i n ed by t he sigh t f h is c harm e r

as re -
o ,

wh o, on t h e o nt rary h ad becom e q u i te disgu ste d wi t h

c ,

b im f hi
or O bv ious prefer en c e f p rofi t tru e
s t oo o to

a ff ec t io n H e add ressed h er softly i n a te n t a n d asked

.
,

h e r t o d a n c e b u t w mos t as t on ish e d a t her retu r n

,
as

i n g h i m a l ook f vaca nt wonder w h ic h t aci tly i m p l ied

o , ,

Wb y
o a re plai n as look
ou s cou ld s p e ak
as .

Arrah M ary ex c l aime d t h e you t h

, ,
”
.

an sw e re d Mary w i t h wha t h e roin es ,

cal l i ne ff ab le d isdai n
“ .
”

Why wou ld t hi n k y d id
one k n ow m e ! ou n t
’

I f I ev e r h ad th e hon o ur f yo ur acqu aintanc e i o , s r,

a n swer e d M ary I forg et yo u e n t ire l y ,

.
”

“ Forg et m e M ary ?— arra h b e ai sy — is i t forg et

,

t h e m a n t h a t w cou rt i an d in l ov e w i t h y ? as n
’
ou
”

Y ouu n der a mistake you n g m an said M ary

’
te , ,
”
,

w i t h a cu rl f he r rosy l i p w hich d isp l ay ed t he

o ,

p e ar ly te et h whos e b e au t y her woma s n a t ur e

to n
’
t e
3 84 Ha n dy A n dy
j i
o ce d th a t t h e r e cr e an t l ov er was no t y et i n s en s ib le
“ You ’
u nder a m istake yo u ng ma n an d her heigh t
re , ,

e n e d colo u r m ad e h er eye fl as h mor e brigh tl y as she

s poke y ou qu ite u n d er a m istake — n o
’
re was one

ev er i n lo v e w ith m and h laid s ign al em phasis e ; s e

o n the word The r e w as a d i r y mane blackgua r d

.
“
t ,

i ndeed o nc e i l
,
wi b my f b
n ov e b w fi lly bu t I
t at er s
’
ro n ,
”
forget hi m in t ir e ly .

M ary tossed her head proud ly a s she S poke and h er ,

fi lly fancy in g ad mi r e r ree l ing u nd er th e reproof she

-

i n fl icted sn eaked fr om t h e t e n t w hile M ary stoo d u p

, ,

and d an c e d w it h a mo re o pe n heart ed lov er whose -

e a r nes t ey e cou ld se e more c harm s i n o n e lo v ely

woman th an all t h e horses o f Arabi a .

B ut n o such resu lt as t h is was li kely t o t ake p la ce

i n M atty D wye r s case ; sh e and h e r l ove r agr ee d w ith
'

on e another o n t h e settle ment to be m ade and o ld ,

Jac k w as not t o be allow e d an i n c h over wh at was con

s id e re d a n e v e n bargain A t le ngth all matters were .

agreed u pon the wedding day fix ed an d t h e guests

,
-

i n v ited ; y et st ill both parti es w e re not sati s fi ed but ,

y oung C asey th ought he shou l d b e pu t i nto absolute

possess io n o f a ce r tain little farm an d cottage an d ,

hav e th e l eas e looked o v e r to se e a l l was rig h t (for

J ack D wy e r w as cons idered rathe r sli pp e ry ) w h ile old ,

Jac k though t it t i me e nough t o g iv e hi m possess io n

an d t he leas e an d his daug h ter a l toge t her .

H owever matters had go n e s o far that as the reader

, ,

has seen th e wedd ing feast w as p r epa r ed t h e guest s

,
-

i n v ited and Father Ph i l o n th e S pot t o hel p James

,

and M a t ty (in t h e facet ious parlance o f Paddy ) t o tie

w ith t he i r tongues w hat t h e y cou l d n o t u n do w it h
thei r t eeth ”
.

Whe n t he pries t had do ne b r e ak fas t t h e arriv al of ,

Andy was an nou nced t o h i m and A n dy was ad mitted ,

t o a p r i v at e aud ience w ith Father Ph il the pa rtic u lars ,

o f which m us t n o t b e disclos e d ; f o r i n shor t Andy ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 85

m ad e a r egu l ar confessio n b e fore t h e F a t h e r a n d we , ,

know con fe ss io ns m u s t be h el d sac red ; bu t w e may

,

sa
y tha t A n dy con fided t h e wh ole pos t o ffi c e a ff ai r t o -

t he pas t or — t o l d h im how Larry H ogan h ad con t ri v e d

t o worm t h a t a ff ai r o u t o f h im a n d by hi s d e v i lis h ,

art ific e had as A n dy fe ared con t riv ed t o im p l i cat e

, ,

S qu i re Ega n i n t he t ransaction an d by t hrea t en i ng a , ,

d isclosu re go t th e wo r t hy S q u i re i n t o h is vi l l anou s
,

power A n dy u nder t h e so l em n q ueri e s o f t h e priest

.
, ,

posi t i ve ly de n i e d hav ing s ai d o n e wo rd t o Hoga n to

c ri m in at e t h e S qu ire and t ha t H ogan cou ld o n ly i n fe r
,

t h e S qu ire s gui l t ; u po n w h ic h Fa t her Ph i l h av i ng

’

perfec t ly sa t isfied h im self t o l d A ndy t o mak e his m i n d

,

e asy for t ha t he wou l d s e cur e t h e S q u i re fro m any

,

harm and h e mo reov e r praised A ndy fo r t h e fide l ity

,

h e d is pl ay e d t o t h e i n t eres t s o f h is o ld mas t er and ,

d e c l ar e d he w as so p le as ed w ith h im t h a t h e wou l d ,

desi re Jac k D wyer t o as k h i m t o d i nne r “ A nd t h a t .

wi ll b e n o b l in d n ut l e t me t e l l y o u s aid Fath e r Phi l

,
”
,

— “ a weddi ng d i n n e r o u l u cky d og — l ash ings 1

a n d ‘
y ,

la v i n g s a n d n o e n d o f d a n c ing afther !
,
’ ”

A n dy was acc ord ingly h idd e n t o t h e b ri da l fe as t t o ,

wh ich t h e gues t s bega n a l r e ady t o ga t her t h i ck an d fas t .

T hey s t ro l led abou t t h e fi el d befo re t h e hou se bas ked i n ,

g ro ups i n t h e su ns h i ne o r l ay i n t h e shad e u nd e r t h e
,

h edges where h i nts o f fu t u r e m arri ages we r e giv en t o

,

many a pret t y gi rl a n d t o n udg e s a n d pi nch e s w ere re

,

t ur n ed smal l scream s s ugges t i v e O f add it io na”l assau lt

an d i n v i t i ng den ia l s o f “ I n deed I wo n t and t ha t ’

c row n ing prov oc a t iv e t o rio t o us con d uc t “

Behav e ,

yo urself .

I n t h e m e an t im e t h e b ar n was l ai d o u t w i t h l ong
,

p l an ks s upported o n barre l s o r b ig s ton es w h ich p l a n ks

, , ,

w h en cov e red w i t h c l ea n c l o t h s mad e a good l y board , ,

t ha t soo n b ega n t o be co ve red w it h am p l e woode n

d i s h e s o f corn e d b ee f ro as te d ge e s e boi led ch ick e n s a n d
, ,

g a bu n da n ce an d p l e n ty l e f t aft e r
1 O ve rflo win
, .
3 86 Ha n dy A n dy
bacon and in te rm e di ate Stacks f cabb ag e an d hug e
,
o

bow ls f potatoes all sending u p t he ir w r eath s f s moke

o ,
o

to th e ra fters of t h e ba r n s oo n to b ecome hotter fro m ,

t he crowd O f gue sts w h o w h en t he wo r d was gi v en

, , ,

rus h ed t o the on slaugh t w ith righ t good w i ll .

The d i nne r was later than t h e h our n a med an d th e ,

delay arose fr o m the absenc e of who of all others one , ,

oug h t to ha v e been p r esen t na mely t he br idegroo m , , .

B ut James Casey was missi ng a nd Jack D wy er h ad ,

been c loseted fro m ti me to t im e w ith se v eral long headed -

greybeards can v assing the occu rren ce an d wonde r i ng a t

, ,

the defau lt t he b r idegroo m s pa r t The pers on wh o

on
’
.

m ight hav e been su p posed to bear th is d efau lt th e wors t

su pport ed i t better than any M atty w as a ll l i fe and o ne .

spi rits an d h el ped in making th e feast r e ady as i f n oth

, ,

i ng w rong had happe n ed and h back e d Fa t h e r Ph i l s ; s e

’

argum en t to i dow n t o d in ner at o nce

s t t hat i f ;
J ames C as ey w as not t here th a t w as n o r easo n d in n e r ,

Shou ld b e spoi l ed he d be th e re soo n e nough besides

,
’
; ,

if h e di d a rriv e i n t ime it was bet t e r he s hou ld hav e

n t
’

good m ea t co ld t h an e ve rybody ha v e h m eat s poiled

, ot

t h e d uc ks would be d one t o i d h t he be e f boi led c n e rs , to

rags and th e ch ic ke ns be al l i n j mm h y
, o et r .
”

S o down t hey t o d i n n er its h eat its mi rth , i t s

s at : ,

clatter and its good c hee r we wil l

,
attem pt to de n ot

scribe ; fli su i t to y th e v iand s were good th e guests

ce sa , ,

hu ngry an d t he drin k u nexceptio nab le and Fat h er

, ;
Phil ,
no bad j udge f such m at t ers d ec lared h e n ev er
o ,

pro n ou n ced grace ov e r a bet t e r s pr e ad B ut still i n the .

,

midst of the good ch eer n eighbou rs (th e wo men part ie ,

n

l ly ) would suggest to each oth er the

ar w dh whe re on er

t he b ridegroom cou ld be and ev e n w ith in ear sho t f ; -

o

t h e bride e lect t he low v o iced w h is per ran f Wh er e

,
-

, o

i n t h e worl d is James C asey

S ti ll th e b rid e kept u p h e r sm i les and cheerfu l ly ,
te

t u r ne d th e healths t h a t w e re drunk to her bu t ld Jac k ; o

was n o t u n mov e d a c l ou d hu ng ; h i brow which grew on s ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 87
d a rk e r and d ark e r as t he hou r adva nc e d and t h e b ride ,

groo m y et t arried The board w c lea r ed f t h e e a t ables . as o

,

a nd t h e copiou s j ugs o f pu nch going t h e i r ro u nd b ut t he

usual t oast f t he u n ited hea lths f t h e ha ppy pai r cou l d
o o

no t b e g iven fo r f them was ab s en t

, F ath er P hil
one o .

h ard l y k new w hat t o do for ev e n h i s ov e rflowi ng c he e r

fuln ess began to forsa ke h i m and a cer ain a ir f e m ,
t o

b m
a rr a ss began t o pe r v ad e t h e who le as semb l y ti ll
ent
,

J ac k D wy er cou l d bear i t l onge r and s t a nd ing u p no , , ,

he th us add ressed t he co m pany
Frien ds and ne ighbou rs y t h e d isgrac e t hat , o u se e
’
s
pu t m e an d my chi ld
on .
”

A m urm ur f N ! ran rou n d th e board

o O, no
”
.

”
I y yis sa , .

H e 11 co me y e t i s aid a v oi ce
’

,
s r, .

N he wo n t o, said Jack I h e wo n t — I
’

,
”
,
“
se e
’

k n ow h e wo n t H e wa nted t o h av e e veryt hing al l h i s

’
.

o w way and h e th i n ks t o d isgrace me i n d oing w hat

n ,

h e l ikes b h e sh an t
,
and h e stru ck th e t ab l e
ut
’

fi e rc e ly he s poke f J ack w he n once his b l ood w

as ; or , as

u p w a ma n f des pera t e de te rm i n ation

, as oH a . e
’
s

greedy c hap t he s am e Ja m e s Casey an d h e l ov e s h is

, ,

ba r gai n b h t han he l ov e s y ett M a t ty do n t l ook

er ou , , so
’

g lu m abou t w h a t I m say i ng I y h e greedy h e ’

: sa
’
s
’
S

j ust t he fel l ow t ha t i f y gav e hi m t h e roo f ff you r ,

ou o

hou se wou l d ax y ,
f t he rai l s before you r door an d ou or ;
h e goes bac k f h is barga in w b k o I wou ld n o t let no ,
e a se

hi m h ave i t a ll h is w way a nd pu t s t he d isgrace o n ,

on

me hi k i I l l g ive i n t o h im t hrough t ha t s ame b u t

,
t n n
’ ’
, ;
I wo n t An d I t ell y ’
. wha t i t i frie n d s a n d n e igh ou s,

bo urs he re s t h e l ease f th e th ree co r ne red fie l d b e low

;
’
o -

t h e re an d h e he l d u p a parc h men t as h e s poke an d a

,
”
,

s n ug co t tage i t a n d i t al l r e ady f t h e gi rl t o wa l k
on ,
’
s or

in t o w i t h t h e m an tha t w il l hav e h er an d i f ther e a ;

’
s

man a mong y her e t ha t w i lli ng l e t h i m y t h e w ord

ou
’
s , sa

w a nd I ll gi ve h e r
”
no ,
h im !’
to
Th e gir l c ou l d resis t an e xc l am a t io n f su rpris e not o ,
3 88 Ha n dy A n dy
wh ich her fathe r hush ed by a wo rd an d l ook so p e re mp
to ry t ha t s h e saw remonstran ce wa s i n vai n a nd a
, ,

s ilen ce o f some moments e nsu ed ; f o x i t was rathe r '

st artl ing th is i m med iate o ff e r o f a g irl w ho had been so

,

strangely slighted a n d t h e men were n o t q u ite p re pared

,

to make adva nces u n t il they kn ew som eth ing m ore o f

,

t h e w hy a n d wh ere fore o f” her sweethea rt s dese r tio n ’

.

“ A re
y iz al l d u mb ? e xcla im ed Jack i n su rp r ise ,
.

Faix i t S not every day a sn ug l ittle field and cottage

,
’

a nd a good l oo king girl falls in a man s way I say

-
’
.

again I ll gi ve her a nd t he lase to the m a n tha t w i ll s ay

,
’

t h e word .

S ti l l no o n e spok e an d A ndy began t o t h i nk t hey

,

w e r e usin g Jac k D wyer an d h i s daughte r ve ry i l l b u t ,

“
w hat bu si ness had b e t o th in k o f o ff ering himself a ,

poor dev il l ike h im B ut t he s ile nce sti l l continu ing

, ,

A n dy took hea rt O f grace ; and as the pro fi t a n d pleas ur e

o f a s n ug m atc h an d a ha ndsome wife fl u shed u po n h im ,

he go t u p and sa i d Wou l d I do s ir ? , ,

Ev e ry o n e was t ake n by su rprise ev en o ld J ack h im ,

se l f ; a nd M atty cou ld not su ppress a fain t exclamation ,

wh ic h ev e ry o n e b u t A ndy u nd e rs tood t o m ea n “ s h e
d id n t l i ke i t at all bu t wh i ch A ndy i n t erpreted qu it e
’ ”
,

t he othe r way an d he g r i nned h is lou tish ad mirat io n o f

,

M atty who t u rned away her h ead from h i m i n sheer

,

d is t aste wh ic h action A ndy took for mere coy n ess

, .

Jac k was i n a d ile mm a fo r A n dy was j us t the l as t

,

man he wou l d hav e c hose n as a h usband for his d a u gh

te r ; b u t what co u ld he d o ? h e was t ake n at h is wo rd ,

a nd ev e n at the worst h e was de t erm ined tha t s om e o n e

sh ou ld marry th e girl o u t o f h and and Show Casey t h e ,

d isgrace Sh ou l d n o t b e pu t o n h i m but a nx iou s to ,

h av e a noth er ch ance he stammered someth ing abou t t h e

,

fairn ess o f letting the g i rl choose an d tha t “ som e

“ ”
,

o n e e l se m igh t w is h t o s pake ; but the e nd o f al l was ,

th a t n o o n e rose t o ri v al A ndy an d Fathe r Ph i l bo r e ,

wit n e ss t o t h e s a tisfac t io n h e had t ha t day i n fi n d ing

3 90 Ha n dy A n dy
l ightn ess f s pi rit Mat ty wen t through the ho n ou rs
o co n

sequen t a peasant b r i dal in I relan d th ese it i s n eed

on : ,

less to d etai l li mits wou ld no t perm it bu t fli i t

; ou r ; su ce

to y th at a rattli ng cou nt ry danc e was led ff by A ndy

sa ,
-
O

and M atty i n the barn i ntermed i at e j igs w ere i nd u lged ,

i n by th e pic ked d ance r s “

f the pari sh wh i le the
”
o
,

coun try d ancers were resting a n d making love (i f mak ing

l o v e can b e c all e d rest ) i n the corners a n d tha t th e ,

pi pers an d pu nch —makers h ad qu ite enoug h to d o un ti l

t he n igh t was far spe nt and it was con sidered t ime fo r ,

t h e brid e and bridegroo m to be escorted by a chosen

part y f frie n ds the l itt l e co tt age wh ich was to be th e i r
o to

fu t u re ho me Th e pipers stood a t t he th reshold f J ack

. o

D wyer and h is daugh t e r d e part ed from u nd er t h e roof

,

t ree t o t h e t u n e f Joy be w ith you

”
a nd th e n t h e
o
“

l il
t e rs , h ead ing the body gu ard f t he bride p l ied d ron e -
o ,

and c han t er right me rri ly u nti l h had ente r ed h e r new s e

home than ked her ld fr iends (

,
who d id al l th e estabo

l i h d c iv i l ities a nd cracked all th e u sua l j okes attend an t

s e ,

on t h e occasion ) an d Andy bo l ted the door f the sn ug o

co t tage f wh i ch he had
o s udden l y become m aster an d so ,

p laced a sea t for th e bride bes id e the fi re request ing ,

M i D wyss to s it down er for A ndy could n ot b r ing

h i ms e l f t o call her M atty yet — and fou nd h i msel f i n
an awkward pos itio n i n being l ord an d m aster f a “ ”
o

gir l he consi dered fa r above hi m a few hours b efo re

so ;
M a tt y q uiet a nd looked at t h e fire
sa t ,
.

“ I t v ery quare i s
’
s it ? says A ndy w ith a gri n,
n t
’ ”
,

l ook i n g a t h e r tenderly and t widd li n g h i s thumbs ,

.

W hat quare i nquired M atty v ery d ri ly

’
S ,
.

The e state res ponded A n dy ,

”
.

Wha t es t ate asked M at t y ? ”

.

“
You r estat e and my e s t ate said A n dy ,
.

“
S u re y ou d on t cal l t he t h ree cornered fie l d my
’

”
-

father gav e us an estate y fool ? answered M atty ,

ou .

O h no said An dy ,
”
I man e th e blessed a nd .

ho ly esta t e f ma t ri mo ny t h e priest put u s i n poss e ss ion

o
 Ha n dy A n dy 39 1

o f ; a n d A n dy dr e w a s t oo l ne ar t h e h e i r e ss the ,
o n

s t r e ng t h f t h e hi t h e t hough t h e had mad e

o .

“ S i t a t t h e o t h e r s id e f t h e fi re sai d M a tty v e ry o ,
”
,

coldly .

“
Y m iss r e spo n d e d A n dy v e ry re s p e c t fu ll y and
e s, , , ;
i n sh ov i n g h i s e a t bac kwa rd s t h e l egs f t he s t ool
s o

caugh t i n t h e e ar t h e n fl oor a n d A n dy t u mb led h ee ls ,

ov e r h e ad .

M att y l augh e d whi le A ndy w pi cki n g h i ms el f u p as

w ith incr e ased co n fusi o n a t t his m ishap f e v en am idst ; or

ru s t ics t her e i n o t h in g mor e hu mi l ia t i ng t ha n a l ov e r

s

pl aci ng h ims e lf i n a ri d ic l ous pos it ion a t t he mom ent u

he i doing h i s bes t
s mak e hi ms e lf agr ee ab l e
to .

“
I t i s w ell yo u r coa t ne w sai d M att y w i t h a
’
s not , ,

co n te m p t uou s loo k a t H an dy s wea t her b e a t e n v e s t m ent ’

-
.

“ I hop e I ll soo hav e a b h

’
n said Andy a l i tt l e et t e r,
”
,

p iqu e d w i t h a ll h i r e v e r en c e for t h e h e ir e ss a t t h is
, s ,

al l u s io n h i s pov er t y
to B u t s ur e i t was n t t h e co a t
.
“ ’

y ou m arri e d b u,
t t h e ma n t h a t s i n i t a nd s ure I ll ’
;
’

t ak e ff my c lo t hes as soo n y p l eas e M a t ty my

o as ou , ,

d e ar — M iss D wy e r I ma ne — I b e g you r pardo n

”
.
,
“ Y ou h ad b ette r wa i t t i ll y g et b ette r answ e r e d ou ,
”

M att y v e ry d ri ly Y k n ow t h e Ol d say i ng Do n t
, . ou ,
’

t hrow y ou r d i rt y wa t h e r u nt i l y get i n fre s h

out ou .
’

“
A h dar l i n do n t b e c rue l
,
’
,
m e ! sai d A n dy i n
’
to
”
,

a su pplica t i ng t o n e I k no w I m .
“
d i f
’
n ot e sa rv n
’
o

y ou, but s u r e I d i d m ak e b wld n ot t o m ak e u p so o as

t o y u nti l I s ee n t h a t n ob ody el s e wou l d hav e y

ou ou .
”

“
Nobody e l s e h av e m e ! e xc l ai m e d M a tt y her ”
,
as

eyes flas hed wit h anger .

“
I beg you r pard o n m iss sai d poor A n dy wh i n , , , o

t he ex t r e m i ty f h i w hu m i l i ty had com m i tte d suc h

o s o n

a n o ff e n c e agai n s t M at t y s prid e I o nly m e a nt ’

.
“

t ha t
“
S ay mor e abou t i t sai d M a tty wh re cov e re d
no
, ,
o

her e quan i mi t y D id n t my fa t h e r giv e y

.
“
t h e l as e
’
ou

o f t h e fi el d an d hou s e ? ”
39 2 Ha n dy A n dy
“
Y is m iss , .

Yo u had bet t er l e t m e ke e p i t t h en ; t w il l b e safe r

’
“
”
with m e th an y o u .

“
Sa rt a in ly said Andy who d re w the l ease fro m h i s
, ,

po cket an d handed i t to her an d — as h e was n ear to ,

h er — he a t tem pted a littl e fam i liarity wh ich M atty ,

r epel l ed very u nequi vocal l y .

“
A rrah ! i s it jok e s you are c ra c k in s ai d A ndy ’

w ith a g r in advanci ng to re new his fond li ng

, .

“
I tel l you w hat i t is said M at t y j u m ping u p
”
, ,
“
I l l c rack you r head i f you don t b e h a v e yo urse l f !
’ ’

an d sh e seized th e stool o n w hic h s h e had bee n sit t i ng ,

an d brandi sh ed it in a v ery amazo nian fash io n .

O h wi rra ! w irra
,
said A ndy in amaze ar e n t ,
’

y ou my wife ?
Your w i fe reto rt e d M at t y w i t h a ve ry devi l in ,

h er ey e — “
You r w i fe in deed y ou great oma d b a u n ; , ,

w hy the n had y o u the brass to t h i n k I d pu t up wi t h

, ,
’

y ou ?
A rrah then why d id you marry me ? s aid A n dy
“
, ,
”
,

i n a p it ifu l argumentat i ve wh i n e .

Why d i d I marry you reto rt ed M atty D id n t ’

I k now b e t t h e r th an refuse you when my father sai d ,

t h e word wbe n t b c d iv il wa s bu sy wit b b im? Why d id

I marry you ?— it s a pity I d i d n t refus e an d b e ’ ’

m u rthered that n igh t maybe as soo n as the peop l e s , ,

’

b acks was tu rn ed O h it s litt l e you k now o f o wld

.
,
’

J ac k D wyer o r you wo u ld n t ask m e t h at ; bu t though

,
’

I m afraid O f him I m no t afr aid o f y o u — s o S t a n d o ff

’

,
’

I t e l l you .

“ Oh B lessed V i rgi n !
,
”
cried A n dy ; “ a n d wh a t
w ill be th e e n d o f it ? ”

There was a tappi ng a t the door as h e S poke .

“ You ll soo n see what wi l l be th e e nd o f it

’
said ,

M at t y as s h e walk e d ac ross t h e cabi n an d o pen e d t o

,

the knock .

J am e s C asey e n t er e d and c l asped M a tt y i n h is arms ;

3 94 Ha n dy A n dy
ad ieu t o t heir t riu m ph an t com panion wh o bo lte d t h e
,

d oor aft e r th em an d becam e possessor o f t he wi fe a n d

pro p e rt y poor Andy thought he had secu re d .

To gu ard agai n st an i m med iate alar m b e i n g gi ve n ,

A ndy was war ne d pai n of d e ath to be s ilen t as

on

h i s c aptors bo re h i m a l ong a nd h e too k th e m t o be

,

too much me n f t h e i r wo rd
o doub t they wou ld
to

keep t h e i r p ro mi s e They bor e h i m t hrough a lon e l y

.

b y lan e fo r som e t ime a nd

-

,
arri vi ng a t t he s t u m p
on

o f an l d t r e e bo u nd hi m secu rely t o it a n d l e ft h im
o , ,

t o pass hi w edd i n g n igh t i n t h e t igh t e mbrac e s f

s -
o

h e mp.
 C H AP T E R XXX
H E ne ws f A ndy s w e dd i ng o s t ra n ge in i t s el f
’

,
so ,

a n d being c e lebra t ed b e fore many S pread so ,

o v e r t h e co u ntry l ik e wi ldfire a nd made t he t a l k f , o

ha l f t h e barony f th e nex t day an d t he q uestio n or , ,

Arra b d id y ,
b f b w ou d b rf l w
ea r d d i g o w as
t e on e u e n

as k e d i n h igh road and b y road and s carc el y a b

- -

,
or e e n

whos e h e dges h ad born e w itness t hi s s t artling

n ot to
ma t ri mo nial i n tell ig e nc e Th e s t ory l ik e a l l o t h e r .
,

S ori e s f cou rs e g t w is te d i nto v ariou s s t rang e shapes

t ,
o ot ,

a n d fan ci fu l exagg e rat io ns b e cam e grafted t h e orig on

i na l s te m su ffi c i en t l y gro t esque i n itse l f a n d

,
f ; one o

t h e v e rsions fo rt h h w ld Jac k D wyer t he mo re

se t o o ,

to v e x C as ey had give n hi s d augh t er t h e grea te s t f

,
or

t u n e t ha t e v er had bee n h eard f i t h e co u nt ry o n .

N w o f t h e o pen ared p e op le wh had caugh t

o ne o -
c o

ho l d f t he s t o ry by t h is e n d h appen e d
o me et A n dy s to
’

m oth er and w i t h a co ngra t u l a t o ry grin began wi t h

, , ,
“ T he p tothe m i 0
’

y M Roo ney
o rn n
”
an d ’
to ou, rs . ,

s ure I w ish y jy ou o .

“
O ch h on e and f why d ear ? a n swer e d M rs
,
or ,
”
.

Roo n ey su r e i
,
“
n o t h in bu t t rouble an d ca re I
,
t
’
s
’

hav e poor an d i n wan t l i k e m e

, , .

Bu t sur e y 11 n ever be i n wa n t a ny mor e

ou
’
.

A rrah wh wl d y,
agra ?
o to o u so ,
“
S ure t h e b y wil l t ke care f y o w wo n t h e ?
a o ou no ,
’

Wha t b y o

A n dy s ur e ,
“
A ndy ! rep l ied h i m o t her in amaze men t
”
s , .

“ A n dy i d d l — ,
n ee plac e an d w i t hou t a baw
out 0
’

,
39 6 Ha n dy A n dy
bee t o b l ess h imse lf wit h l — st ay in o u t a ll n igh t t h e ’

blackgu ard !
By th is an d t ha t I do n t th i nk you k n ow a word
,
’

about i t cri ed t he fri end whose t urn i t was for wo n

”
, ,

d e r now .

“ Don t I ”
i nd eed ? s ai d M rs Rooney hu ff ed at
’

,
.
,

ha v i ng her word doubted as she thought “ I tel l y ou , .

h e never w a s at ho me last nigh t and maybe it s you r ,

’

sel f was helpi ng h im M i cky La v e ry to kee p h is bad

, ,

c o o r se s — the s lin g e in d i rty b l ackgua rd that he i s

’ ”
.

M i cky La v ery set u p a sh out o f l aughter w hich in ,

cr e ased the i r e o f M rs Rooney who wou ld ha v e passed.

,

o n i n d ign i fi ed silence but that M icky held he r fas t an d ,

w hen he reco v ered b reath enoug h to speak b e pro ,

c e e d e d to tel l he r about A n dy s m a r riage but i n su ch a

’

d isj o i nted w ay that i t was some t ime be fore M rs

, .

Roon ey co u ld co m p r e h en d h i m for h is inte rj e ct ion al

laughte r a t the cap ital jo ke it was t h at she s hou ld b e ,

the last t o k now it and that h e shou ld ha v e t he luck to

,

t e l l it so met im es broke the thread of h is sto ry — and

,

then h is co llateral obse r vat io ns so d i sfigu r ed t he tale ,

that its incom prehe nsib ility became v ery m u ch i n creased ,

u nti l at last M rs Rooney was d rive n t o push h im by

.

d irec t q u e stion s .

“
Fo r th e t e n d h e r me rcy M i cky La v e ry m ake m e , ,

s in s ib le,
and don t d ist h ra c t me
’
i s t he b oy married ? ”

Y is I te l l you
”
.
,
“ To Jac k D wy er s daughte r ’

”
“
Yis .

“
A n d gev h i m a fo rt n P ’ , , ’

“
G e v hi m hal f h is pro perty I te ll y o u and he ll , ,
’

have all whe n the o wld man s d ead ’

.

O h more power to you A ndy ! c r i ed h is moth er

, ,

in delig h t : “ it s you t h at is the boy and the best

’

c h i ld t h at e v er was ! H al f h i s property you tel l m e , ,

M ist b e r Lav e ry add ed she getting d istan t an d po lite ,

the moment sh e fou n d hersel f moth e r t o a rich m an ,

3 98 Ha n dy A n dy
an d t h e s n ug co tt age an d d ow n h ru sh e d t o emb race ,
s e

h er darling A ndy an d h is gentle brid e P fli g and b low . u n

ing l ike a porpo ise ban g h wen t i n t o t he cottage an d ,

S e
,

M atty being the first person h met h fl u ng h e rsel f s e ,

s e

u po n her and cover e d her with emb rac e s and blessings

, .

M a t ty being t aken by surprise was so me ti me be fo re

, ,

h cou ld S hake ff th e old beldame s hateful caresses

’
s e o ;
b u t at l ast getti ng free an d tuc kin g u p h er hai r wh ich ,

her imagin ary mothe r i law had c lawed abou t h e r e ars -

n -

sh e exc la i med i n no v e ry gentle ton es

A rrah good wom an who axed for y ou r comp any
, ,

wh o are you at al l ?
“
Your m oth er ih law j ewe l ! cr ied t h e Widow - -

Rooney m akin g ano t her open armed ru sh at her belov ed

,
-

d aughter in l aw ; b ut M atty received t h e wi dow s pro

- -
’

t ru d in g mou t h o n h e r c l en ch e d fi s t i nstead o f h e r li ps ,

a nd t h e o ld woma n s n os e com ing i n fo r a sh ar e o f ’

M a t t y s k n u ckles a ruby stream spu rt ed fort h wh i l e all

’

, ,

t h e colours of the rai nbow d anced before M rs Rooney s .

’

ey es a s she re e led backward o n the floor .

Take t h at y o u o wld faggot ! cried lVI a t t y as s h e

, ,

shook M rs Roon ey s t ributary clare t from t he knuckles

.
’

w h ich had so sc ien t ifically tapped it and wiped h e r hand ,

i n he r apro n .

Th e o ld wom a n roared millia mu rt h u r o n the ’

floo r an d sn u fli e d o u t a de precato ry qu e s t ion “ i f that

,

w as th e proper way to be received i n h e r son s hou se ” ’

.

You r son s hou se i ndeed ! cried M at ty

’
Get o ut , .

0 t he place o u stack 0 rags

’ ’

y ,
.

“ Oh A n dy ! A ndy ! c ried t h e moth e r ga t heri ng

,
”
,

h e rsel f up .

Oh that s i t is i t I cri e d M a t ty ; ’
so i t s
’

An dy y o u want ?
T o be su re : why wou l d n t I want h i m y o u h us sy
’

My boy my darlin my b eau ty ’

We ll go l ook fo r h i m ! cri e d M a tt y giv ing h e r a

, ,

shov e t oward s t h e doo r .

 Ha n dy A n dy 3 99
W ell w do y t h in k I l l b e t u rne d
,
no ,
f my
ou
’
o ut o

so n s hou s e
’
q uie t ly t hat y u n n a t u ra l baggage ?
so as ,
ou

cried M Roon ey fac ing roun d fi e rce ly U pon wh ich

rs .
, , .

a~ bi a l terca t ion e n su e d b et w e e n t h e wom e n i n t h e

tte r ;
cou rs e f w hic h t h e widow soo n le ar nt t ha t A n dy w as
o

n o t t he posses sor f M a tty s c ha rm s w h e r e u po n t h e ld o

’
o

woman l ong e r hav i n g t he fear f damagi ng h er

,
no o

daugh te r i l aw s b e auty before h er ey e s t ack le d

-
n -
’
f ,
to or

a figh t i n righ t e arn e st i n t h e cou rse f whic h som e , o

reprisa l s w e re made by t h e w idow i n rev e ng e f he r or

b ro ke n nos e b ut M a tty s y ou t h an d ac t iv i t y j oi n ed t o
;
’

h e r Am azo n ia n S pirit t u r ne d t he t id e i n he r favou r , ,

t hough had ,
t he ld l ady be e n b l ow n by her l o ng
n ot o

run th e v i c t o ry wou l d
,
hav e b een e asy f Sh e n ot so , or

w a t ough c us t om e r a n d l f M a tt y cert ai n marks f

as ,
e t o

h e r fav our t ha t d i d rub i n a h urry — wh i l e h no t out s e

t ook w y ( a k ee ps ak e) a h and fu l f M atty s h air by

a a as o
’

wh ic h h h ad l o n g h el d
s e t i ll a su cc e ssfu l kic k fro m t h e on

g entl e bride fin al l y ej ec t ed M Roon ey from t h e h ous e rs . .

O ff h r eele d b l eed i n g a n d roari n g an d wh i l e

s e ,
her ,
on

appro ac h h h ad b een b l e ss ing H eav en an d i nv e n t ing

s e

sw eet s p ee ch e s f M a tt y h e r re t rea t S he w cu rs
or ,
on as

i g fa t e a n d h e aping al l sor t s f hard n am e s

n th e o on

Am azo n h ca m e fla tt e r A l as f t h e b rev i ty f
s e to .
, or o

h u ma n e xul t a t io n !
H w far e d i t i n t h e m e a nt im e w i t h A n dy ? H e
o ,

poor d ev i l ! h ad pass e d a c ol d n ig h t t i e d p t h e ld ,
u to o

t ree an d as t he mor n i n g daw n ed every obj e c t app e are d

, ,

to h i m t hro ugh t he d i m l igh t i n a d is t o rt ed form t h e ;

gapi ng h ol l ow f t h e ld t ru n k wh i ch h e w bo u n d
o o to as

s ee med l ike h ug e m ou t h op en i ng a swa ll o w h im ,

to ,

wh ile t h e ld k n o t s l ooked l i k e eyes and t h e g n ar le d

o ,

bran ch e s l ik e c l aws s t ari n g a t a n d r e ady te r h i m i n

,
to a

p i eces .

A rav e p e rch e d abo v e h i mu, a l o nel y b ra n ch on ,

croaked d isma ll y t i ll A n dy fa n c i e d h e co u l d h e a r wo rds

,

o f re proac h i n t h e ou n ds whi le l i ttle t o m t i t c ha tte red

s ,
a
4oo Ha n dy A n dy
an d twit t er e d o n a n eighbou ring b ough as i f h e e njoy e d ,

a nd a p proved o f al l the se v ere t hi ngs t he ra v e n u ttered .

The l ittle t o mt it w as the wo r s t o f th e two j us t as the ,

so lem n rep r oof o f t he w i se can be better born e th an th e

i m p e rti ne nt rem a r k o f so m e c h at t e r ing fool T o th ese .

im agi nary ev ils was add ed th e real ity o f so m e e normous

water rats tha t i ss ued from an adjace n t pool a nd began
-

to eat A ndy s h at and shoes w h i c h h ad fal len O ff i n h i s

’

struggle w i t h h is captors ; an d all Andy s warni ng e ja c u ’

la t io n s cou ld n o t m ake the v erm i n abstain from his s h oes

a n d hi s hat w h ich to j udge fro m t heir eager eati ng
, , ,

cou ld no t stay t he ir sto machs lon g so t h a t A ndy as h e, ,

looked o n a t th e rapid de molition began t o dread that ,

t hey m igh t t ransfer the ir favours from h is atti re t o h i m

self u nt i l the tr am p o f a pproach ing h o r s es r el iev ed h i s
,

a nx iety an d i n a few m in utes two horsemen stood b e

,

fo r e h im t h ey were Fathe r Phi l and S qu i re Egan .

G r eat was th e s urprise of th e Fat h er t o see h e fello w

he had married t h e n ight before and w hom b e s up posed
,

t o be i n the enjoy ment o f h is h o ney mo on t ied u p to a ,

tre e and look i ng m or e d ead than al i v e ; and h is indign a

t io n knew no bou n ds whe n he heard t h a t a “ cou p l e
beggar had dared t o ce l ebra t e t h e marriage cere mony
”
,

w hi ch fac t came o u t i n th e cou rse o f t h e explanation

A ndy m ade o f the d esperat e m isad v enture w hic h had
b efallen h i m ; bu t all othe r g r ie v an ces g ave w ay i n t h e
ey es of Fat h er Ph il t o th e co u ple beggar ”
-
.

A cou ple beggar -

t he aud ac ious va ga b o n e s
he cried wh i le he an d the S qu ire were engaged i n loos
,

ing A n dy s bonds ’
A cou pl e b e ggar i n my parish
.
-

H ow fast they hav e t ied h i m u p S qu i r e ! h e added as

, ,

h e en deavou re d to u ndo a knot “ A ‘ cou ple beggar .

-

,
’

i n de ed ! I l l u n do t he ma rriag e l — have yo u a kn i fe
’

about yo u S qu ire — th e b lessed and holy t ie o f ma t ri

,

mo ny it s a b l ack k not bad l u ck to i t an d m us t be

’

, ,

cu t take you r leg o u t 0 t hat now ’

an d wait til l I
lay my hands o n t hem a cou p l e beggar i nd e ed -
 Ha n dy A n dy
By t h is ti m e A ndy wa s free and hav ing r e c e iv e d t h e
,

Sq uir e s d i re ct i ons : to fo l lo w h i m t o M e rry v ale Fath er

" ’

Ph il a nd the worthy S q ui re wer e o nc e mo re i n t hei r

S a d d l e s a nd f pro c eede d q u ietly to t he same p l ac e th e
‘ '

.
,

Squ ire si le n t ly coiisid é rin g the audac ity o f t he coup d e

,

‘
-

ma in wh ich robbed An dy o f h is w i fe a n d his reverenc e

,

u fli n o u t h is rosy cheeks and m u t teri ng su ndry ang ry

p g
sente nces t he o n ly i n t el ligib le words o f wh ic h w e r e
,

cou ple b e ggar

-
.
”
 C HA PTE R XXX I

O U B T L E SS th ereader h as a n t ici pa te d t h a t t h e
pr e s e nce o f Fat her Ph i l i n t he com pany o f t h e
S qu ire a t t hi s i m m ed ia te t i m e wa s o n accou nt o f
t h e com m un ica t io n m ad e by A ndy abou t t he post o ffi c e -

a ff air Fa t h e r Ph i l h ad de te rm i ne d t o giv e th e S q u ire

.

freedo m fro m t h e s t ra t eg et ic co i l i n wh i ch Larry H oga n

h ad e nsnared h im an d los t n o t i m e i n s ett i ng abou t i t ;
,

a n d i t wa s o n h is i n t e n d e d v is i t t o M erry v a l e t ha t he
m et it s hospi t abl e ow n e r a n d tell ing h i m t he r e wa s a
,

m a t ter o f s om e p ri vate i mpor t a n c e h e w is h e d t o c o m

mu n ic a t e s ugges t ed a q u ie t rid e t oge t h e r ; an d t his i t
,

was which l ed t o t h ei r t rave rs i ng th e lon el y l i ttle l an e

w here t hey d isco v ered A ndy w hos e n am e was so pri n
,

c i a l i n t h e re ve la t ions o f t ha t day
p .

T o t h e S qu i re t h ose reve la t i on s wer e o f t h e dear e s t

i m port ance ; for they re l iev ed h is m i n d fro m a weigh t
w hich had b e e n o ppr e ss i ng i t f o r som e t ime a nd s e t h i s
,

h ear t a t res t Egan i t m us t b e rem arked wa s an o dd

.
, ,

m ix t u r e o f cou rage and coward ic e : u ndau nted by per

sona l danger b u t s t rangely t i mo rou s wh ere m ora l cou r
,

age wa s requ i red A rema rk ab le s hy ne ss t o o m ad e

.
, ,

him hes i t a te co n s t an tl y i n t h e u tt era n c e o f a word whi ch

migh t ex p l ain away a ny d ifli c u lt y i n wh ic h h e chan ced
to fi nd hi msel f ; a n d t h is h e lped t o k e ep h is t ongu e t ied
i n the mat t er wh ere Larry H oga n had co nti nu ed t o
m ake h i ms e l f a bugb e a r H e h ad a horror t o o o f
.
, ,

bein g t hough t capab l e o f do i ng a d isho nou rable t h ing ,

an d t h e s ham e h e fe lt a t hav i n g p ee p e d i n t o a lette r was

440 H a n dy A n dy
so s t inging t ha t t he idea of aski ng any o n e s ad v ice i n
,
’

h d ilemm ? n Whi c h he was placed made h i m recoil

' "

t e a ; ;
f r om the t hought Of suc h a id Now Father Phi l had
'

.
,

re l; e vi tl himfr omth e d i ffi culties his own weakn ess 1m

’
‘ ‘
e

pos ed t he s ubj ec t h ad been forced u po n hi m and onc e

forced to s pea k he made a fu ll ackn owledgment o f al l
t hat had t aken place ; an d w hen he fou nd A ndy had no t
born e w it ness agai nst h i m and tha t Larry H ogan o n ly ,

i nf e r r e d h is par t ic ipat ion in the t ransact ion he s a w o n ,

Fath er P h i l s sh owi ng t hat h e w as not really i n Larry

’

Hogan s pow e r ; for tho ugh h e adm itted he had give n

’

Larry a trifl e o f money fro m ti m e to t i me when Lar ry

as ke d for it u nder t h e in fl ue nce o f cert ai n in n uendoes
, ,

y et tha t w as n o p roof aga in st him ; and Father Ph il s ’

ad v ice was to ge t A ndy ou t o f t he w ay as soon as pos

s ib le and th en t o set Lar ry quietly at d e fi a n c e — t h at is
,

to say i n Father Ph il s ow n words

,
“
to keep ne v e r
’

,
”
m in d ing hi m .

N o w A ndy n ot be ing enc umbered wit h a wi fe ( as

fate had so o rdained it ) m ade t h e matter eas ie r and th e ,

S qu i r e and the Fat h er as t hey rod e toward s M erryva le

,

together t o d i nn er ag r eed to pac k o ff A ndy w ithou t

,

delay an d t hus place h im beyond H ogan s powe r ; an d

,
’

as D ic k D awso n w as goi ng to London w it h M u rphy t o ,

pu sh t he pet ition again st S catte r brai n s retu rn it was ’

looked u pon as a lu c ky c h ance and A ndy was at o n c e ,

na med to h e a r them c om pany .

B ut yo u m ust not l et Hogan k now t ha t A ndy i s

sen t away u n der you r pat r o nage S qu i re ”
said th e , ,

Father for tha t would be presu mpti ve e v id ence you

,

had an i nterest i n h is absence ; and H ogan is th e v ery

b lac kg ua r d wou ld see it fast enough for h e is a k now ,

in g rascal .

H e s t h e deepest scou nd r e l I e v er met said the

’

S qu i r e .

A s k now i ng as a j aile r said Fat h er Ph il A ,

.

j ailer d id I say — by dad h e h at e s any j ai ler I ever

, ,
4 06 Ha n dy A n d y
T han k you Fath er Phil fo r ,
po l i te a sp ee ch , so .

Th e doctor took h i s pe nc i l from h is p ocke t and began

to w rite a s mal l bit f paper wh ich t he p r iest b
on o , o se rv

i ng asked h im wh at h e was about or i s it w riti ng a

, ,

presc r ipt ion you ar e said he for com pound ing better
,
”
,
”
m arriages than I c an ?
“
S o methi ng very g h y I dare y t he d oc t or is
”
n au t , sa ,

do ing said Fan ny D awson

,
.

“
J udge fo r you r self lady fai r sai d t he docto r h an d , , ,

i ng Fan ny the s li p o f pape r .

F an ny look e d at it fo r a m o me nt and sm i led but ,

d e c l a r ed i t was v ery w icked indeed .

The n read i t for t h e com pany and co ndem n me ,

out

f your own pretty mout h M iss D awson

”
o sai d the , ,

docto r .

It is too w ick e d .

I f it i s e v er so wi cked said Fath er P h il th e , ,

w icked ness w ill be n eut r alised by bei ng read by a n

”
an
ge L
Well don e S t O mer s c ried M u rphy
,
.
’

,
”
.

Really Father sai d Fan ny b lushi ng “ yo u are

, , , ,

d es perately gallant t o day a nd j ust to s hame y ou an d -

, ,

S h ow h ow littl e o f an ange l I am I will re ad the doctor s ,

’

e pig r am
Th ugh ma h s al l mad i h av th y
o tc e a re e n e en, e sa
y,
Y Hy m h mis hi f f h a t h s
et en, w o c e o t c e

m i m s d al s wi h h h us
,

So l id f t /re w ay
’
et e e t t e o e t ot z e r s e a

d A h mak L if ma h s
n t /z e r e t e
y e uc er tc e .
’
,

O h doctor ! I m afraid you are a woman h ater

,
’
-

said M r s Egan . Come away Fanny I am su re t h ey

.
, ,

w ant t o ge t rid o f u s ”
.

Yes s aid Fa n ny ris ing and jo in ing h e r sister wh o

, , ,

was l ea v i n g t he room “ an d now afte r abusi ng poor , ,

Hyme n gen tleme n we l ea v e you to your favou r ite

, ,

wo r s h i p o f Bacc h us ”
.

T h e de pa rtu re o f th e l adies changed t he co n vers ation ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 40 7
a nd aft er t h e g e n tle men had r e su m e d t h e i r s e a t s t h e ,

doc t or ask e d D ic k D awso n h w soo n he i nte n ded goi ng o

to Lo ndon .

“ I s t ar t i m med ia tel y said D i ck Don t forge t t o

,
’

g iv e m t ha t l ett e r f i n t rodu c t io n
e you r fri en d i n
o to
D ub l in whom I l ong t o k now
,
.
”

Who i s he ask e d t h e S qu i r e .

O n e T m Lo ftus — o as hi s fri e nds c all h im o r, ,

Pi p ing T m fro m h is vocal powe rs

o ,
’
as so me n ick ; o r,

n ame hi m O g ,
Loftu s fro m h is i m itat io n f t ha t
r an ,
’
o

i n s t r me n t w hic h i an e xc e ssiv e ly co m ical p ie ce f

u s o

car ca t ure
i .

O h ! I k now hi m wel l said F a t h e r Ph il , .

“
H ow d id y m an age to become acqu ai nted with
ou

h im i n qu ir e d t he doc t or f I d id t h i nk h e l ay ,
or n ot
”
m uch in you r way .

I t was b becam e acquai nt ed with m e s aid F a t h e r

e ,

Ph i l a nd t h is w t he way f i t
,
“ ash e was d own a o on

v is i t b et im e s i n t h e parish I was i n be fo r e t his a n d h is ,

behav iour was wi l d t ha t I w ob l iged t o m a k e a n

so as

al l u si o n i n t he ch ap el h is i n d is cretio ns an d threate n
to ,

to m ak e h is cond uc t a subject f s eve r e pub lic ce n sure i f o

h e d id m i nd hi s m ann ers a l itt le better

n ot We ll my .
,

d ear wh should cal l

,
o me th e M on day m ornin g
on on

after bu t M i h T m a l l s m iles and graces a n d pro

st er o , ,

test i ng h was sorry h e fel l u nder my d is pleasu re and

e ,

h o ping I wou ld ne v er have cau se t o fi n d fau lt wit h h i m

agai n S ure I t hought h e was repent i ng of h i s m isdeed s
.
, ,

and I said I w glad hear s uch g oo d words fro m h im

as to .

A t h en Fa t her says h e I hear you hav e go t a g reat

’
, ,
’

,
‘

cu riosity fro m D ubl i n a shower b a t h I h ear So I -

said I h ad and i n d e e d t o b e cand id I was

: pro ud as
, ,
as

a peaco k of th e sam e ba t h w h ich t i ck led my fancy

c ,

when I w once i n town an d as I b gh i t Wo u ld

,
so ou t .

you Show i t m e ? says b

to To be s u re say s I
’
e .
‘
,
’

an d ff I we nt lik e a foo l an d pu t t h e wather o n the

o , ,

to p,
a nd sh owed h im h ow w h e n a string was p u l led, ,
40 8 Ha n dy A n dy
down i t cam e — a nd h e p retended n o t c le ar l y t o u n d er
stan d th e t h i ng and at last h e said S ure i t s not i n to
, ,
’

tha t sent ry box yo u get ? says b e

-
O h yes s ai d I ’
.
‘
,
’

gettin g i nto it qu ite i nn ocent ; when my cl ea r h e slaps , ,

the d oor an d fasten s it o n m e and pu lls t he st r ing an d ,

souses m e w ith th e w ate r and I wit h my best su it o f ,

b lack o n me I r o a re d an d shouted i n side wh i le M ist h e r

.

Tom Loftu s was sc re e c hin laugh i ng outs id e an d d anc ’

i ng roun d th e room with d e light A t last wh en he .

,

cou ld Speak he sai d Now F athe r we re e v en say s

, , , ,
’

,
’

he ‘ for the ab use y o u g a v e m e yesterday and o ff h e

, ,
’

ran .

Tha t s j u st l i ke h im said o ld Grow lin g chu ck lin g ;

’

, ,
“
h e s a quee r dev il
’
I rem ember o n on e occasio n a .

poor dandy pu ppy who was in t he same o fli c e w ith h i m

,
— for To m is i n t he O rd nan ce d epa r tment you m u st
,

k now this pup py si r wan ted to go to th e A shbou r n e, ,

races an d cu t a fi gu re i n the ey es of a ric h grocer s ’

d aughter h e was sweet u pon

”
.

“ Bein g sweet u po n a g r o ce r s da u gh t er said M u r ’

,
”
phy is li ke bri ngi ng coals to Newcastle
,
“
.

Faith ! it was coals t o Newcast le wi th a v engean ce

’

i n t he p r ese nt cas e fo r th e gi rl wou ld h a v e n ot h ing to

,

s ay to hi m and To m had great delight when e v e r h e

,

cou ld an noy this poor fool i n h is lo v e m ak ing plo t s S o -

.
,

wh e n he c ame t o Tom to as k fo r the loan o f h is h orse ,

T o m s ai d h e sh ou ld ha v e h i m if b e cou ld ma be t b c sma lle st

u se o
f b im — bu t I don t th i n k you
‘
can said T om
’
,
’
.

Lea v e th a t t o m e sai d the youth I do n t th in k you

,
’
.
’

cou ld m ake h i m go said T o m I 11 b uy a n ew pair ,

’
.
’

o f spu r s said th e pu ppy Le t them be h andsome o nes

’ ’
, .
,

sai d Tom I was looki ng at a v ery han d so m e pair at

‘

L amprey s yest erday said t he y ou ng gent leman Th en

’
, ,
’
.

you can b uy t he m o n your way to my stables said ,

’

To m and s u r e enough s ir t h e you th laid ou t h is m oney , ,

o n a v e ry costly pai r of pe r suade rs and the n proceed ed ,

h omewards with T o m Now wit h all your Spurs said .

, ,
’
 C H A PTE R XXXI I

H E servan t wh o b roug h t i n th e c l are t an noun c e d a t

th e same t ime the a r rival o f a fr e sh guest i n the
pe rson o f C aptai n M oria rty who was we lco med by
”
,

m ost o f th e party by the name of Randa l Th e S qui re .

regrett e d he was t o o l a t e for di n ner i nqu i r ing at the ,

sam e tim e i f h e wou ld li ke t o h a v e some t h ing to ea t at

t he sid e tabl e ; bu t Randa l d ec l in e d t he o ff er assu rin g
-

the S q u i re h e had g o t som e r e freshm e n t d uri ng t he day

whi l e h e had been o u t shooting ; bu t as t h e s po rt l ed
h i m n e ar M erry vale a n d h e had a g reat t h irst u po n
,

h i m h e did not kn ow a better house in t he cou nt ry

”
,

w herei n to hav e that same satis fi ed .

“ Th en yo u re just i n t im e for som e coo l c l aret

’
said ,

t he S qu ir e ; so Sit dow n beside t he d octor for he must ,

ha ve th e fi rst g lass and b roac h the bottl e be for e he ,

b r oaches the s t ory h e s going t o t el l u s — t hat s o n ly

’ ’

”
fair.

Th e doc t o r fi lled h is glass a nd t asted What a n ice

, .

”
cb a t e a u ,
M a rg a u
’
m ust be said h e as he laid down
x
, ,

h is glas s I should
“
. lik e t o b e a te n a nt a t w i l l th e re - -

at a small ren t ”
.

A n d n o t a xe s said D ick , .

Excep t my d u t y t o t h e c la r et r e p l i e d th e d oc t or , .

N
M y fa v uri t ha a u
o e c te
I s th at f Ma rga u
,
’
o x .

By the bye t alking of cb a t e a u the re s t he big b rewer

- -

, ,
’

o v er at th e town wh o i s anx io us to a ff e c t ge n tility an d

, ,

he h eard som e o n e u s e t h e word cb ape a u a n d havi ng ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 4 11

fou nd i t was t h e Fren c h f b h e d ete rm i n ed

o ut or at, to
S how ff t h e earl i e st poss ib le occasi on a n d se l ec t ed a
o on ,

pu b l ic mee t i ng f so m e so r t to d is p l ay h i accomp l ish

o s

me n t Taking so m e cause f obj ection t o t h e proc e ed

. o

ings as an e xcu se f leav in g t h e m e et i ng b said

,
or ,
e ,

G en tl emen t h e fact i s I can t agree w ith y so I m ay

,
’
ou,

as we ll tak e my b u nder my arm a t o nc e and

c a t ea u ,

w alk .
’

Is n o t t h a t a n i n v en t io n of you r w doc t or ? sai d o n,

t he S qu ir e .

“ I he ard i t for fac t sa id G row l ing , .

“ A nd i s t ru e add ed M urphy f I was p r e s ent

’
t ,
”
,
or

wh e n h e said i t A nd a t a n ea r l i e r pa rt f the proceed

. o

ing s h e s ugges te d th a t t h e pa ri sh c l erk shou l d read the

reso l u t ion s becaus e h e had a good l d bl v o ic e
,
‘
au a e .
’

“ A parish c l erk ought to h ave s aid t h e doc t o ,

”
r

e h Fa t h e r Ph i l ? L d m
,
au a us l
“ Leav e you r La t i n said D i ck an d t el l u s tha t
, ,
“

s t ory you pro mised abou t t h e D uke a nd T m Lo ft u s o .

”

R igh t M i h D ick s aid Fa t h e r Ph i l

,
st er ,
.

Th e s t ory doc t or sai d t h e S qu i re

, ,
”
.

O h don t m ake such bon es abou t i t said Grow l

,
’

ing ; is bu t a t ri fl e after al l on ly i t shows you w hat

’
t ;
a queer an d reck l ess rascal Tom is I t old y h e w as . ou

called O g Lo ft u s by his fr i ends i n con se q u en ce f

r an , o

the i m i t a t ion he make s f t hat i nst ru ment an d i t cer o ;

ta ni ly i s wort h hearing and seei ng for your eyes hav e ,

a s mu c h d o w ith the a ff ai r as you r ears

to To m .

p lan t s hi msel f a h igh ffi stoo l be fore

on f t hose
o ce -

, one o

l o fty des ks w ith long rows f d rawe rs down eac h s ide o

an d a ho le be t ween put your l egs u d er We l l i

to n .
,
s r,

T m p u ll s
o t h e t op drawers lik e the s t op s f a n
out , o

organ an d t he l ow er o n es by way f ped als and t h e n

, o :

h e beg in s t hras h ing the des k li ke t h e fi g board f a n n er -

o

o rga n w it h his han ds wh i le h i fe e t k ic k away a t t h e , s

low e r d rawers i f h e were t he grea t est ped l performe r

as a

ou t o f Germany a n d he e mits a rapi d s u ccessio n f gru nt s

, o
4 12 Ha n dy A n dy
and s quea ks p rod u ci ng a l ud i crous rem i ni scenc e o f the
,

i n s t ru m en t wh ich I d efy any one t o hear wit h out la ugh

,

i ng S e v e ral sow s a n d an i nd e fi n ite n umber of sucki ng

.

p igs cou ld no t m ake a greate r n oise and To m h i mse lf ,

d ec l a r es he stud ied th e i nstru ment i n a p igsty w hich h e ,

main t ai ns gav e t he firs t not io n o f a n organ W e ll s i r .

, ,

the yo uth s i n th e o ffi ce assist i n d oi ng t he ser v ice as ‘

,
’

t hey call it tha t i s maki ng a n i m itatio n o f t he chantin g

, ,

an d s o forth i n S t Patric k s C athedral.

” ’
.

O h th e h ay t he n s ! said Fathe r Ph i l
,
.

O ne does S pray and ano t her Wey ma n and anoth er

, ,

S ir Joh n S tev ens on a nd so o n ; and t hey go o n res pon s

,

i ng and s in ging A m e n t i ll t he O rd n ance O ffi c e rings

”
aga i n .

Hav e t hey noth ing bett e r t o d o asked th e S quir e .

“
V e r y l itt le b ut readi ng the papers s aid the doctor , .

Well Tom — y ou m ust k n ow s ir was trans ,

ferred so m e t im e ago by t h e i nterest o f many i n fl uentia l

,

frie nds t o th e Lo n don depart m en t ; an d the fame o f hi s

,

m us ica l powers had go ne be fo r e h i m from som e o f t he

E ngl ish cle r ks i n I re lan d who h ad be en ad v anced to the
h ig h er posts i n D ub lin and kep t u p co rr espond ence ,

w ith thei r old fr ien ds i n Lo ndon ; an d i t was not lon g

u nti l To m was requ ested to go th rough an an the m o n
th e g r ea t o ffi c e des k T o m w as o nly too glad to be
-
.

asked an d h e kep t t h e w ho le o ffi ce i n a roa r for a n h our

,

w ith al l the v arieties o f th e i nstru ment fro m th e d iapa

s o n to t he fl ute sto p — an d t h e de v i l a mo r e b us i ness
-

w as don e i n t he o ffi ce rb a t day and To m before long ,

mad e t h e sober Englis h fellows as grea t idle rs as t h e

c haps i n D ublin Wel l . it was not lon g u n t il a sud
d en flu sh o f bus in es s came u pon the d epartment i n con ,

sequen c e o f t he u rgent pre parat ion s m aki ng for su pplies

to S pain a t the ti m e the D uke was goi ng the re to take
,

th e co mmand o f t he a r my and o r gan play i ng was set ,

-

as id e for some day s ; b ut t he fel lows after a week s a h ,

’

s t in e n c e bega n to yearn for i t a n d T o m was re quested

,
4 x2

an d t s, p rod u c ing a In
sq u a
n
i nst ru m e t, whic h I de fy an y
in g .
ne e
Se v e ra l so ws an d an i d fi n it
pg i s co u ld e e te n e
no t m ak a gr a r o i s , -

t e n t ent
d e c la re s he s u d i d t h e i s r um in a p ig ty w hi h s ,
c

m i i n g v e t h e fi n o t io n f a n
a nt a s a rst o

th y ou t h i n h o ffi c a sis t i n doi n g
e s t e e s
‘

th c ll i t ha t i m ki ng
e a t, i mi t t io n f h s, a an a o t e

an fort h i n S t Pa t ric k s C ih d lf
so .
’
a e ra
”

s i d F the r Ph i l
’
Oh h h y h , ! t e a t e ns a a .

O ne do Sp y d n ot es ra , an a

S ir J hn St e en o n
o d v s , an so on

i g n d in gi g A m n
an s n e
”
8 ! in
g .

“
Ha ve
a
very
“f e ll

was d o ne
m ad e t he
c haps in
d e n flus h of bu s i
s eq n e ue cu rg e nt pr e pa ra t i on s
of t he
to Sp in
a at t h e t i m e t he D u ke was
,

t he co mm a n d o f t h e a rmy
'

as i d e fa so me da y s ; b u t t he

entrance , W “ m
414 Ha n dy A n dy
th e be l lows fal l fro m h is h an d as S ir Ar t hur fix e d his
eyes on him Torn did n o t perc e iv e t ill
. w that all no

t h e clerks we r e take n w ith a s udden fit f i nd us t ry an d o ,

w e re writ ing away for the bare li fe an d h e cas t a l ook ;

o f s urp rise ro u n d th e o ffi ce wh ile S ir A rt h ur was look in g
a t the bellows blower O ne f t h e c l erks m ade a w ry
-
. o

face at To m wh ic h s howed hi m al l was n o t rig h t

,
Is .

th i s th e w ay H i s M ajesty s ser v ice g e n er a l ly goes on ’

h ere ? sai d S i r Ar t h u r sharply No

’
answ e red but , . one ;
T m w by t he long faces of the c lerks a n d th e short
o sa ,

qu e stio n f th e vi sitor t ha t h e was m b dy

o , so e o .

“ ‘ S ome t ra ns po rts a re wait ing for o rd n anc e s t ores ,

and I am r e ferred t o t his ffi sai d S ir Arth ur ca n o ce ,

’
;
‘

any one gi v e m e a sati sfactory an swer ? ’

The sen ior c l erk presen t (for th e h e ad f the o ffi c e o

was abs en t ) cam e forward an d said I be l i ev e s i r , ,

Y b li
ou b u t y ou do n t i w said S ir Arth u r
e eve,
’
no ,
’
;
‘
so I m ust wai t for stores wh i le y are play in g to m ou

foolery h ere I 11 r e port t h is

. Then prod u c i ng a
’
.
’

l i ttl e t able t a nd a penci l h e turn ed t o T m an d said ,

o ,
‘
Fa v ou r me wit h yo u r n ame si r ? ,
’

I give y my honou r si r said T m

ou , ,
’
o .

‘
I d rath e r you d gi ve m e t h e stores i
’ ’
I ll ,
s r,
’

t roub le yo u for yo ur n a me ? ’

U po n my b i said To m agai n onou r , s r,

’
, .

“ ‘
Yo u se e m hav e a g re a t deal f that article
to o on

yo u r hands si r said S ir A r th u r y ,
’
an I rishman : ou
’
re ,

I su ppose ?
Yes s ir said T o m
, ,
’
.

I thought so Y ou r n am e .

Loftus s i r ,
.
’

Ely fam ily

No s i r ,
.
’

G lad o f i t .
’

H e p ut u p h is tab l et a fter w ri t i n g t he n ame .

M ay I beg the fa v ou r t o k now s ir s ai d Tom , ,

’
,
‘
t o whom I hav e t h e ho no ur o f addre ssi ng my se l f ? ’
 Ha n dy A n dy 45 1

S ir A rthur W e l le s l ey i , s r .
’

Oh J — cried Tom I m d on e
s ,
‘ ’

S i r Ar t hu r co u l d n ot hel p laugh ing a t t he ex t ra

“

ordin ary cha n g e i n To m s co untena nc e a n d Tom ’

; ,

t aki ng adv an t age f t h i s re l ax at io n i n h is i ro n man n er

o ,

said i a mos t pe n iten t to n e O h S i r A rth ur W el les ley

n , , ,

o nly forg ive m e t h is t im e a n d pon my wl says b ,

’
so ,
’
e

w it h t he ric hes t b rogu e I 11 p l ay a T D m for th e ’

e eu

fi rs t l ic k i ng y giv e th e Fre n ch
ou S ir A r t h ur sm ile d .
’

a n d l eft t he o ffi ce .
”

D id h e r e por t as h e t hre at en ed ? ask e d t h e ”

S qu i re .

Fa i t h h e d id
“ ’
, .

And T m i nq ui red D i c k
o .

W as s en t back t o Irelan d si r ,
.

Tha t w as hard a ft e r t he D uk e sm i l ed a t h i m
, ,

sai d M u rphy .

We l l h e d i d ,
l e t h im s u ff e r i n pocke t h e wa s
no t ;
t ra sferred a t as a good a salary a l ess i mpor t an t
n to
depart men t b u t yo u k n ow t he D u ke h bee n c ele
; as

b d a ll h is l ife f
ra t e n eve r ov e r l oo k i n g a breach f
or o

d tyu .

A nd wh can b l ame h i m ? sai d M o ri ar t y

o .

O ne grea t advan t age f t h e pract ic e h bee n

o as ,

said t he S qu i re t ha t n o m a n h as bee n better serv ed

, .

I remember hearing a s t ri ki n g i nstan ce f what perha ps o , ,

migh t b e called se ere j u s t ic e wh ic h b e x e rcised

v ,
e on

a yo u ng a n d d i s t i ng u is h ed fli f arti l lery i n S pai no ce r o ;

an d t hough c an no t h e l p pity in g t h e c as e f t he
one o

gallan t you ng fe ll ow wh was t h e s acrific e y e t th e o ,

q estio n f stric t d u t y
u o b y w d was , to t a t re st
c v er or ,
se t

fo r ever u nd er the D u ke s c om mand and i t saved m uch ’

,
—t roub l e by maki ng ev e ry o ffi er satisfied howev er
a
fi er c ,

fiery h i co urage s te nde r h is sense f bei ng s us pe cted

or o

o f t h e wh it e fea t her th a t im pl ici t obed ie nc e w

,
t he as

course h e m pursue T h e cas e w as t h is

u st . t h e army
was go ing i n t o ac t io n
4 16 Ha n dy A n dy
What ac t io n was it i n qu i red Fa t her Phil wit h
?”
,

that rem a r kable ala c rity whic h m en o f peace ev ince

i n hearin g th e fu llest part icu lars abou t wa r pe rhaps ,

becau se it is forbi dd en to thei r c loth ; o n e o f the many

i n stances o f th ings acqu i ri ng a fictit iou s va lue by being
i n terd icted — j ust as Fathe r Ph i l h i m sel f m igh t hav e
been a Prot estant o n ly for t h e pe nal l aws .

“ I don t k now wh at act io n it was

’
sai d the S quire , ,

n or the o fli c e r s nam e for I don t s e t u p for a m i li

’ ’

tary c h ron icl er ; bu t i t w as as I ha v e been tell ing you

, ,

go ing i nto action t hat t he D u k e posted an o ffi cer wit h ,

hi s s ix gu ns at a ce r ta in po int tell ing h im to remai n

, ,

th ere u nti l he had orders fr o m b im A way wen t the .

rest o f t h e a r my an d th e o ffi c e r wa s l eft doing n oth ing

,

at al l which he d id n t like ; f o r he was o n e of those

,
’

h igh —b l ooded gent l em en who are never so happy as

when they are maki ng o t h e r peopl e m iserab le a nd h e ,

was l ongi ng for t he head of a Fren c h colu mn t o b e

hammeri ng away at I n h alf an hou r o r so h e heard
.

t h e d istan t sou nd o f actio n and it approa c hed nearer ,

and n ea rer u n til h e hea r d it c l ose behi n d h im and h e

,

wondered rathe r that he was n o t i n v ited to take a Sh a re

i n it w hen pat to h is tho ught u p came an a id e d e —ca mp
, , ,
-

at fu ll s peed te l ling h i m that Gene r al S o mebody o rde red

,

h i m to b r in g u p his guns The o fli c e r asked d id n o t

.

t h e o rd er co me from Lo rd Wel li ngto n ? The a id e d e -

ca m p sa id n o b u t fro m th e Gen eral whoe v e r he was

, , .

Th e o fli c e r ex plain ed that h e w as pla c ed there by Lord

We l li ngt on u n de r com mand not to mov e u n l ess by a n
, ,

or d e r
f r om b im se
l
f Th e a id e d e ca m
'

. p s tated t h a t
-
th e -

General s en t i re brigad e wa s bei ng d riv en i n and m u st

’

b e a n n i hil a t ed w ithou t t he aid o f t he gun s an d a sk e d , ,

‘
wou l d he l e t a who l e b rigade be slaug ht ered ? i n ’

a t on e which wou nded the young soldi er s prid e sav ou r ’

ing as h e th ough t it d id o f an i mputat ion o n h i s

, ,

cou rag e H e i m mediately ordered his gu n s t o mo v e

.

a nd joi ned battle w ith th e Ge ne ra l ; b u t wh i le h e was

4 18 Ha n dy A n dy
Fre n c hm an wh o m ad e a greater b reach of d isci pl ine
, ,

an d i t was treated more len ientl y I heard t h e sto ry .

from the m an s own li ps an d i f I cou ld o nly gi v e yo u

’

h is v o ic e and gestu re and ma n ner it wo u ld am use yo u .

What fel lows t h ose Fren c h me n are t o be su re for , ,

tel ling a sto ry ! t hey make a s h rug o r a w i n k ha v e

twenty d i ff eren t m ean ings and their cl aw s a re most ,

eloq ue n t — o n e m igh t s ay t hey talk o n t h ei r fi ngers

an d th ei r b roke n Eng l ish I t h i n k helps the m , ,
.

Th en g i v e the sto ry Ra ndal i n h i s ma n ner , , ,

said D ic k “
I ha v e h eard you i m itate a Fren ch ma n
capital ly .

“
We ll h ere goes said M o riarty ; but l et me we t
, ,

my wh istl e w ith a glas s o f c la r et befo re I begi n — a

Fren ch sto ry s h ou ld ha v e F ren ch w ine Randal .

tossed o ff on e glass and filled a secon d by way o f ,

reser v e a nd the n began the Fren c h o ffi cer s sto r y

,
’
.

You see sa r e i t v o s ven i n E sp ag n e d e b i v ouac v os

, ,

v ai ry a r d in d e e t pon u s vo r v e coot nau t get i nt o d e

’

t own at all n e v a ir be cos y ou dam In ge lish kee p al l d e

, ,

t own to y o u rse fs — v or v e fall bac k at d at ti me becos

we get not sup po rt n o corp s d e r e se r v e you percei v e ,

s o v e m ek r e t r o r a d e m ov e men t not r e t r e a t n o no
g ,
— but r e t r o r a d e m o v ement Ve l l — v o n n igh t I wa s
g .

wi t my picket g u a rt an d it was r ai ni ng like de de v il

, ,

an d d e v in d v o s v i n d in g u p de v alley s o co ld as n ot ing ,

at al l an d d e da r k v o s v ot you could n ot see — no

,

not you r n ose b e v o re you r face Vel l I hear d e t r am p .

,

of horse a n d I l oo k i nto de d ark — for v e v e r e v ai ry

,

m oche o n t he qu i v iv e becau se v e e x p e c de In g e l ish to

,

attaque de n ext day — but I see n ot ing ; b ut d e t ram p

o f ho r se come closer and c loser a nd a t last I as k , ,

Who is de r e an d d e t r amp o f d e hors e stop I r u n .

fo r wa rd and den I s ee In g e lis h o fli sa ir o f ca v alleri e I

,
.

add r ess hi m and tel l h i m he is in ou r lines bu t I d o not

, ,

v ant to mek h i m p riso n a ir f o r yo u m ust k now dat h e

v os p r is o n a i r i f I li ke ve n he v os v it hi n o u r l i n e He .
, ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 4
19

i s v ery po l i t e — h e says B ie n oblig e bon e nf a n t ,

"

and w e t ek o ff o u r ha t t o each oze r I a ff l os t my .

‘

roat he say ; a nd I s ay Ya is
,
’
bo te I v i l l put h i m ,
‘ ’

i n t o hi s roa t and so I as k for a mom e nt pardon a nd go

, ,

bac k to my capor a l a nd tel l h im to b e o n d e qu i v iv e t ill

,

I com e back D e I n g e lish o ffi sa ir and me t alk v e ry

.

p l aisan t v ile v e g o t o ge z e r d own d e le e t e l roa t an d ve n ,

v e com e t o d e t urn I say B on soir M on sieu r le C ap i

, , ,

tai n e — dat is y ou r vay H e de n t an k m e v era moc h e .

’

li ke g e n t il ma n an d v is h he coo t mek m e some re t urn fo r

,

my g én ér osit é as b e please to say

,
and I say B a b ! I n ,

e l is h e n t ilma n v o o d do de sam e t o Fren ch o ffi s a ir who

g g
lose h i s vay D en c om e here he say bon e nf a n t can
.
’

,
’

, ,

yo u l ea v e you r pos t fo r a ff an h our ? L e a v e my ’ ’ ‘

pos t I say Y a is sai d h e

. I kn ow your army has
,
’

,
‘

not moche p r ov is io n la t ely and maybe y ou are o n gr ie ? ,

M a f oi y a is s aid I ; I a ff n au t sli ps t o my ey es no r
’

, , ,

mea t t o my stomach for m o re dan fife d ays Vel l bon , .

’
‘
,

f
e n a nt ,
he ’
say ‘
co me v i s me ,
a n d I v i ll gi f you good ,

supp er goo t v i ne and goot v e lc o me

, ,
Coo t I l eave .
’
‘

my pos t ? I say H e say B a b

’
. Ca p or a l t ake care ,

ti ll y o u com e back By g ar I coo t n aut resi st — b e

.
’

v o s so v a i r moche e n t il ma n an d l v os s o o n r ie —I
y g g
go v i s h i m — no t fife hu nd er y a rt s — a b l bon D ie u
h o w ni ce I n de corn er o f a le e t e l rui n chape l dere i s
n ice bit o f fi re a n d hang o n a st ri ng be fore it d e h al f o f
,

a kid — ob cie l ’ de s mell o f d e r os bif wa s so n ic e — I

’

-
.

r ub my hands to d e fi re — I sn i ff de cu isine — I se e i n
a n o z e r corner a cou ple bottles o f w ine — sa cr é ! i t v os
al l wa t a ir i n my mo u t s ! V e s it do w n t o s u p p a ir — I
n e v a i r d id a t e s o moche i n my li fe V e d id fi n is h d e .

bon es an d v os h down a l l m id v e r good w i ne — ex cel

,

le n t V e d r in k d e t oas t a la g loir e and v e t alk of

de c am paign V e drin k . l a Pa t r ie an d de n I t in k o f ,

l a be lle Fr a n ce a nd ma d ou ce a mie an d b e fi sse l G ot ,

safe d e k ing V e d en d ri n k 21 l a mit i é an d S h ek han ds

’ ’
.
,

ov e r da t fi r e in good f ra in s hip — d e m t wo h a n ds t ha t
 4 20 Ha n dy A n dy
m ight cro ss de s word s i n d e morn ing Ya is sair d a t .
, ,

was fi n e t was g a llia r d t was la v r a i cb i v a lr ie

’ ’

t wo s oja ir en nem i to sh a r e d e same k id d ri n k de same ,

w ine a nd talk like two fri ends Vel l I got d e n s o

,
.
,

s leepy d at my eyes go b li n k bl in k an d my goo t friend

, , ,

says to m e S leep o ld fe llo w I know yo u a ff got hard

, ,

fare o f late an d y ou are t i r ed s leep a ll i s q ui et fo r to

, ,

n ig h t and I w i ll cal l you befo r e d aw n

,
S a i r I v os so .
’

t ir e d I fo rgot my d uty and fal l dow n fast asleep

,
Vell ,
.
,

sai r i n d e n ight de p ickets o f d e two a r mie get so close

, ,

a nd m ix u p dat so m e s hot gets fired an d i n one mom e nt

, ,

a l l i n confus io n I a m S hak e by de sho ul de r — I wake

.

l ike fro m d ream — I h eard s h arp f u silla de my fri end

c ry F ly to you r po st i t i s attac k !
,
W e exchange on e ,
’

S hek o f de hand an d I ru n o ff to my post ,

O b cie l l .
,

i t i s d r i v e n in — I see dem fly O b mon d ése sp oir ce .

,

mome n t 1d I am ru i n — d ésb on or é — I rus h to d e fron t

-

— I ral ly me s br a v e s — v e stan d ve ad v an ce ! ve

reg ai n de post ! — I am safe ! D e f u silla d e cease

— it is o nly an a ff ai r o f out posts I t i n k I am safe — I .

t i nk I am v ery fi ne fellow but M on s ieu r l A id e —M ajor ’

sen d for m e a n d s peak V e r e v o s y ou last n ig h t sai r ? , ,

‘
I mou n t guard by d e mil l A re yo u s u re Out
’

mon sie u r Vere v os yo u when y ou r post v o s attack ?

.
’

I sa w it v os no use to d eny a ny lo n g a ir so I con fes s to ,

h i m ev ery ti ng S ai r said he you ral ly you r men v e ry

.
,
’

good or y ou s bou ld be sb ot ’ Youn g m an reme mber

,
.
, ,
’

said he — I w ill n e v e r fo rget hi s v o r t s you ng man ,

v i n e is g oat — slip is oot oa t is oat — bu t b an n er s i s

g g g
be tt e r s l

A capital sto ry Ran dal c ried D ic k ; b u t h o w

“
, ,

m u ch o f it d id y o u i n ve nt ? ”

Po n my life it i s as nea r th e origi n al as poss ib l e

’

,
.

Besi des t ha t is n ot a fa i r way o f u s ing a story

, ,

sa id the doctor Yo u sh oul d take a story as you get

.

it a nd n ot play th e d i ssecto r u pon i t mangling its poor

, ,

body to d isco v e r the bi t o f embe llish men t ; a n d as l ong

 4 22 Ha n dy A n dy
th e s t rea m was deep i n t h e m idd l e t hey cou l d scarce l y
so

fo r d i t ; some d r agoon s wh o w e re gallo ping as hard

so

as they co uld f th e fi r e p u ll ed u p
out o seei ng t he on

cond ition f the women k ind a n d e ach horseman t ook

o -

u p a woma n be h ind h i m though i t d i mi n ishe d h is w , o n

power f speed i ng fr om th e danger The mo men t th e

o .

Fre nch w th is ac t f manly courtesy t hey ceased

sa o ,

firi ng gave t h e d ragoon s a cheer and as long as t h e

, ,

wo men were w ith in gu nshot a t r igger was pul led ,

n ot

i n t he F ren ch li n e but vo lleys f chee rs i ns t ead f ball

,
o o

cartridge w as sen t after t he brigade til l al l th e wo m en

were ov e r N w was . t hat gen erou s ?
o n t
’

T was a hand som e t h ing ! was t he un iversa l

“ ’ ”

r e m ark .

“
A nd faith I c an tell you C aptain M oriarty th e
’
, ,

army took ad v antage f i for t h ere was a g re at struggle o t ;

to ha ve the pleasu re f t h e l adies com pany o ver t h e o
’

r v er
i .
”

“
I dare say Father Ph i l said the S qu ire laugh i ng
, , , .

h S qu ire fon d of th e gi r l s
”
Th ro t said th e p d
, ,
a re,

as the so ld iers h a v e t he reputat io n f b e ing t hey never o ,

li ked them better t han t h a t same d ay .

“
Yes yes said M oriarty a l ittle pi qu e d for he
, ,
”
, ,

rat her a ff ected t he d are d e v i l I yo u m ean t o

“ -

,
” “ se e

i nsi n uate t hat w e sold ie rs fear fi r e .

“
I d id no t y fear captain sa bu t t hey d l ike to ,
’ ’

ge t out o f it for a ll that an d sm all b lame t o them

, ,

are n t
’
they fl esh an d blood l i ke oursel v es ? ”

“
Not a bit like you said M oriarty You s l eek
,
”
.

an d sm ooth gentleme n wh o live i n l uxu riou s peace know

l it t le f a sold ier s danger o r fee l ings
o
’
.
”

“
Ca p t ain w e al l h a v e
,
dangers g through ou r to o ;
an d may be a priest has as m any as a sold i er and we ;
on ly Show a d i ff ere nce f taste after al l i n the select io n o , ,
.
”

Well Father B lake al l I kn ow is tha t a true l

, , ,
so
”
dier fears noth ing ! sai d M oriarty with en ergy .

M aybe so a n sw e red Father Ph il qu ietly

,
”
,
.
 Ha n dy A n dy 43 2

I t i q u i te c le ar howev e r said M u rphy

“
s ,
t ha t , ,

wa r wi t h a ll i ho rro rs can call

,
ts occasio n a ll y t he ,
out

fi ner feeli n gs f n at ur e s b u t i t i s o n ly s uch rede e m

o o ur ;
i ng t ra i t s as t hos e we h av e h e ard w h ic h ca n recon ci l e
u s to i t I r e membe r h av i ng heard a n i nc id e n t f war
. o ,

mys el f w hich a ff e ct e d m e m uc h s aid M u rphy wh o

, ,
”
,

caugh t t h e i n fec t i o n f m i lita ry a n ecdo te wh ich ci rc le d

o

t h e t ab l e and i nd e e d t h e re i n o mo re cat chin g t hem e

; s

ca n b e s t ar te d amon g men for i t may be r e m arked t hat ,

wh en ever i t i broac h e d i t fl ows s u n t i l it i s ra t h e r on

mor e t han t i me go t o t h e lad ies to .

“
I t was i n t he ear l i e r por t io n f t h e m e m orab le day o

f Wa t er l oo said M urphy t ha t a you n g o ffi c e r f th e

”
o , , o

G uards r e ceiv e d a wou nd whi ch b rought h im th e to

grou n d H i com pa n i ons ru sh e d
. s t o s e iz e so m e poi nt on

wh ic h t h e ir d e sp e ra te valou r w call e d carry an d as on to ,

he w le ft u tte r l y u n abl e
as ,
r i se f t h e wou n d w i n to ,
or as

hi foo t
s H e l ay f so m e hours w i t h t h e t hu n d e r f
. or o

t ha t t errib le day ringi n g around hi m a n d m a n y a rus h ,

o f ho rs e a n d foo t had pass e d c l os e bes id e h i m .

T owards t h e c l os e f t h e day h e w of t h e B l ac k sa one o

B runsw ic k d ragoon s a p pro ach ing wh dr e w rei n hi , o as s

ey e caugh t t h e you n g G uards m an pa l e a n d almost ,

fai nt ing t h e g rou n d H e al ighted a n d fi nd ing h e

,
on .
,

was n o t m or t a ll y wo un ded assisted h im ri se li ft e d ,

to ,

hi m i nt o hi sadd l e a n d he l p e d s su ppor t h i m t here

,
to

w h i le he walk e d bes id e hi m t o t he E n gli sh r e ar Th e .

B ru n swi k w an ld m a n ; hi brow an d mo us t ache

c er as o s

wer e grey d e spai r w as i n h is s u nk en ey e an d from

; ,

t im e t i m e h e l ook e d u p w i t h a n e x pr e ss io n f t he
to o

deep e s t y e arn ing in t o t he face f t h e you n g so l die r wh o , o

w b ig t ears rolli ng dow n t h e v et era n s cheek w h i le h e

’
sa

gaz e d u po n h i m Y see m i n b itter sorrow my k ind

. ou ,

frie n d said th e s t rip l i ng

,
’
N wonde r answ ered t h e .
‘
o ,
’

o ld m a n w it h a ho l low groan
,
I a n d my t h re e boy s .
‘

wer e i n t h e sam e reg i m e n t — t hey wer e a l iv e t h e m orn

ing f L igny — I a m c hi ld le s s t o d ay B u t I h av e
o .
44 2 Ha n d y A n dy
re v e n ged t h em ! h e s aid fierce l y an d as h e S pok e h e
’
,

held h i s sword w h ich was l itera ll y r e d w it h blood

out , .

‘ B ut o h ! tha t wi ll not bring m e bac k my boy s ! he

,
’

exc laimed relapsing i nto h i s sorrow My th ree gallant

,
.

boy s ! — a nd agai n h e wept bitterly t i l l c lea r ing h is

’
,

ey e s fro m the tears an d l ooking u p in the young sold i e r s ,

’

handsome face he said t e nde r ly You are l ike my , ,

‘

y ounges t o n e an d I could not let y ou l ie

,
the field on .
’

Ev en the roll icki ng M u rphy s eyes were moist as h e ’

reci ted t hi s anecdo t e and as for Father Ph il h e was ; ,

qu ite m elted ej acu l a t ing i n an u n d e r to n e O h my

, ,
“
,
”
poor fellow ! my poo r fellow !
“ S o th ere sai d M urphy is an exam ple f a m an
,
”
,
“ o ,

with re v enge i n his hea r t a nd h is righ t arm t i red wi th ,

s laughter s udden ly melted in to gen tl en ess by a r e s e m

,

b lance to h is ch ild .

“ T i s ve ry touch ing bu t very d said th e S qu i re

’

, sa , .

My dear si r said the doctor w ith h i s pecu l iar d ry

,
”
,

n ess sad n ess is th e p r i nci pal fr u i t wh ic h wa r fare m us t

,

e v er produce Y m ay talk of glo ry as l on g as y

. ou ou

li ke but yo u can n ot hav e yo u r l au re l wi thout yo u r

,

cy press and t hough y ou may selec t ce r tai n b its f

, i o se n t

m ent ou t f a mass of ho rro rs i f yo u all ow me I w i ll

o , ,

gi v e yo u on e litt l e story wh ich sh an t k e ep yo u l ong ’

and wil l serv e as a com m en t a ry u pon war and glory i n

general .

At the p e ac e f 8 3 I happ e n ed t o be t ravel li ng o 1 0 ,

t hro ug h a town i n Fran ce where a cert ain co u nt I kn ew

resided I wait e d u pon h im and h e received m e most
.
,

co rd ially and i n v i t ed m e to di n n e r I mad e t h e ex cu s e

, .

tha t I was o nly a nd s u pp l ied w ith b ut t r ave lling

e n r ou t e ,

cos t um e and t h e refor e no t fi t

, pr e sent my self amongst to
the gu ests f suc h a hous e as his H e assur e d m e I
o .

s h ou ld o n ly mee t h is w fam i ly an d p l edged h i ms e lf o n ,

for M adam e la Comtess e b e ing w il ling t o waiv e t he

c e remo ny o f a g d il I w t o th e hou se at
ra n e to ette . e nt

th e a ppoi nted h ou r an d I pass e d th rough t h e hall I ,

as
42 6 Ha n dy A n dy
i nsti nct i ve l y w i t hd r awing h is chair as far as h e c u l d o

fro m t h e p d b esid e whom he sa t

a re .

A y typhus
,
i most invet e rate t y ph us
,
s r; .

“
Gr aciou s H ea v e n ! sai d M ori arty risi n g how”
, ,
“

can you d o s uch a d r eadfu l t h ing a s r u n the r is k f bear o

i ng i n fect ion i nto soc iety

“
I though t sold iers were n ot afrai d o f anyth ing said ,

Fat he r P h i l laug h i ng a t h i m ; and t he rest o f t he party

,

j oi ned i n the merrimen t .

Fai r ly hit M oriarty sai d D ick

, , .

“
Nonsen se said M o r iarty ;
, wh e n I Spok e of
d anger I mean t suc h o pen danger as — in short n o t
, ,

su c h i n sid ious l urking abo m i n at ion as i n fectio n ; for

I contend t ha t
“
S ay n o mo r e Ran da l said G rowli ng
, ,
“ you r e ,
’

don e l — Father Ph i l has fl oored you ”

.

“
I deny it said M oria r ty w armly ; bu t t h e mor e
”
, ,

he den ied it th e m ore e v e ry o n e laughed at hi m

, .

Yo u re mo r e frightened than h urt M o r i arty said

’ ”
, ,

t he S qu i re ; fo r the best o f the j oke is F at h er Ph i l

“
,

was n t i n co n t act w ith ty phus at all b u t was r id i n g

’

wi th me — and t is bu t a j oke ’ ”
.

H ere t hey all roared at M oriart y wh o was e x e cs ,

s iv e l
y angry but fe,
lt h im sel f i n suc h a rid icu lou s posi
t io n t hat h e could n o t qu arrel with anybody .

“ Pa r don me my d ear ca ptai n ”

said th e Fath e r ;
, ,

I on ly wanted to Show y o u t ha t a poo r p riest has

to ru n the ris k o f hi s l ife j us t as m u ch as th e bo ldes t
so ldier o f them all B u t don t y o u th i n k S qu i r e t is
.
’

, ,
’

t i me t o j oin t he lad i e s ? I m s ure t h e t ay wil l b e t ir e d

’

wai t ing for us ”

.
 C H AP T E R XXX I I I
RS E GAN w e ngaged i n som e ne ed le wo rk an d
M Fa nny tu rni ng ove r t he l eaves f a mus ic book
. as ,

o -

a nd occasio nally h u m m i ng som e bars f h er favou rite o

songs ,
t he gen t l e men cam e i n t o t h e d rawing roo m
as -
.

Fan ny rose fro m t h e p iano for te t hey e ntered as .

O h M i ss D awson
,
exc l ai m ed M oriarty ,
”
why ,
“

t an ta lise us m uch so l et y sea t ed i n th a t

as to u s se e ou

place w h ere y re n d e r ou m u ch d el igh t on l y

ca n so ,
to

l e ave i t we en ter ?
as
”

Fan ny t urned ff t he cap t ai n s fl ouri sh ing speech w ith

o
’

a few l iv ely words an d a s m i le an d t oo k her s e at ,

a t t h e t ea t ab le -
d t he h o n o urs to o .

“ Th e cap t ai n s aid Fa t her Phi l ,

”
t h e doc t or i to ,
“
s

eq u al ly grea t i n l ov e war or .
”

A n d k nows abo u t l itt le f as t h e o t h e r

as o one ,

said t he doc t or H i a tt ack s are

.
“ open s too .
”

“
A n d t herefore e as i l y fo i le d said Fa t h e r Phi l ,
”
.

“ H w t ha t pr e t t y c rea t u r e with t h e t u rn f a wo rd
o , o

an d a c u r l f her l ip u pse t h i m t h a t t i me ! O h ! what

o ,

a pow e rfu l t h i ng a w om an s s m ile i s doc t or ? I o fte ’

,
n

congratu lat e myse lf t hat my calling p uts a ll su c h m u n

d a ne fo l l ies an d a tt rac t ion s f my way whe n I out o ,

se e an d k now w h a t foo l s w ise m en ar e so me t im es mad e

by si l ly gi r l s O h i t i fearful d octor ; t hough f
.
, s , ,
o

co u rse part f t h e mys t eri ous d is p en sa t io n f

, o al l w ise o an -

Pro v id e nce .
”

“
Th a t foo l s sh ou l d hav e t h e m as te ry i s i t ? i ,
”
n

qu i red t h e doc t o r dri ly w it h a m is ch i e vo us q u ery i n hi

, ,
s

ey e w ell
as .
4 28 Ha n dy A n dy
“ Tut tu t tu t docto r
,
re p l ied Fathe r Ph i l im
, , , ,

patiently yo u k now w el l eno ug h w h at I mean an d

;
“
,

I won t allow you to engage me i n on e o f you r i ngen ious

’

battles of words I S peak o f that wo nde r fu l i nfl uen ce

.

of t he weaker s ex o v er th e St r onge r an d h ow th e wo r d ,

o f a rosy l i p ou twe igh s sometim es t h e resol v es o f a

fu r rowed b r ow an d how t h e — pooh ! pooh ! I m;
’

making a fool o f mysel f talkin g to you — bu t to m ake

a long sto r y sho t I would r ather w l out a logica l r , r a st e

d ispute any d ay or a t o gh a r gu me n t o f on e o f th e
,
u

fat h e r s th an r efute som e absu r dity wh ic h fe ll fr om a

,

p retty mout h w it h a sm ile o n it .

O h I qu ite agree with yo u sa id t he doctor g r i n

, ,
”
,

n ing ,
that t h e fath e r s a r e not h alf s uch dange r ou s
customers as t h e daughte r s .
”

A h go a long w it h you docto r

,
said Father Ph il ,
I
,

w ith a good h umou r ed laugh -

I see you a r e i n .
“
o ne

f you r misc h ievous m oods an d so I l l h a v e noth ing

’
o ,
”
more to say to yo u .

The Fat h e r tu r ned awa to joi n the S qui re whi le t he y ,

d octor took a seat n ear Fan ny D awson an d e njoy ed

a qu iet little b it o f con v ersation wit h h er while M o r ia r ty ,

was t u r n ing o v er t h e lea v es of h er albu m b ut t h e ;

brow o f t h e capt ai n who a ff ected a taste in poet y ,
r ,

b ecame kn it an d h is lip assu med a co ntemp t uo us cu r l

, ,

as he peru sed so me l ines and as ked Fan ny whose w as ,

t h e com position .

“
I fo rget was Fan ny s answer ,
” ’
.

I do n t won de r sa id M oriarty
’
the au t hor i s n ot
, ;
worth remembe r in g for th ey are v e y rough , r .
”

Fan ny d i d n o t s e em pleased w it h th e critic is m ,

and said tha t wh en su n g to the measu re o f th e ai r

,

w r itten dow n o n th e O pposite page they wer e v e r y ,

fl owing .

“
B t h e p r i nci pal ph r ase th e f i
u t I may y ,
‘
re ra n,
’
sa ,

i s so v ulgar added Mo r ia r ty r etu rn in g to t he c h arge

,
”
,
.

“
Th e gentlem an say s Wh a t wou ld y ou d o ? an d t he ,
 43 0 Ha n dy A n dy
“ Yo u r b m ay b e new do c t or bu t you r j b is n o t
eer , ,
o e

I ha v e s ee n i t b e for e i n som e old form .

”

“ Well i i f I foun d it i n i ts ld fo rm l ik e a b
,
s r, o , are ,

and s t arted i t fr e sh i t may do for fol ks t o a ft er as

,
ru n

well as any thi ng else B ut yo u s han t e sca pe you r .

’

m isdemeanou r i n m au l ing those v e rses as y ou ha v e

don e by fi nd i ng fau lt w i th my j ok e
,
d i Y re e v v u s. ou

read those lines s i r li ke a b ell m an withou t any a t ten

, , ,

tion t o m e t re .
”

“
T be su r e
o said Fa t her Ph il wh o had b ee n li s t en
, ,

i ng fo r some t i me they h a v e a ring i n the m “

Lik e a pig s n ose sai d th e doctor ’

,
.

A h be aisy , said Father Ph i l ,

”
I y t h e y ha v e a .
“
sa

ring i n the m li k e an wld Lati n ca nti c l e o

W h a t w ill y d l v wh I m g i ou o, o e en a o n
g,
W i t h whi s a i l fl w g
-

te of in
h sa s b
-

? T e
y e -

y on d

T ha t s it ’

To be s u re said t he doc t o r I v ote for t h e

,

Father s r e adin g them

’
the S pot ou t on .

”
Pray do M ister Blake sa id Fan ny
, , ,
.

A h M iss D awson what h a ve I

,
do w it h read ing ,
to

l ove v erses
Take the book s i r sai d G row l i ng an d S h ow me , , ,

you ha v e som e fait h in you

”
r w say i ngs by obey i ng a o n ,

l ady d irectly .

Pooh ! pooh said th e pri es t .

You wo n t refuse m e ? said Fan ny i n a coaxi n g

’

My dear M iss D awson said t h e p d ,

a re.
“
Fa t b e r Pb il ’
. s ai d Fanny w it h ,
one of her rosy
sm iles .

O h wow wo w wow ! ejacula t ed t h e p r i es t i n

, ,

an a mu sin g embar r ass men t “ I s e e yo u will make me ,

d o w hate v e r y o u l ike ”
S o Father Ph i l gave the rare .

example of a man ac ting u p t o h i s ow n th eo ry an d cou ld ,

n o t res ist th e d emand tha t came fro m a p r e t ty mouth .

 Ha n dy A n dy 43 1

H e t oo k t h e book a n d r e ad t h e l in e s w i t h m uc h feeli n g ,

bu t wi th an observan c e f rhy t h m gro te s q u e t h a t i t

o so ,

mu s t be gi v en i n h is w ma nne r o n .

W H A T W I LL Yo u D O , LOV E ?

Wha t w ill y o u d o, l ove wh m g i g en I a o -

n

Wi th whi t l fl w i g
,

e sa i o
,

-
n

T h s as b
,

e e e
y on d
W hat w il l y o u d o, lo v wh wav s d i i us
e, en e -
v de
A d f ri d s m y h i us ,

n en a c de
F b i gf ? or e n on d
,

Th o ugh w av s di e -
v id e us d fri d s b b i d i g
an en e ( n

fa i th bi d i g
-
, ,

In a -
n

11 s t i ll b
-

,
’
I e tr u e ;
A nd I ll
’
pray f or tb e e o n t h s t rmy e a o o ce-
n,

d pd
In ee ti e v o
-
on ,

That w b
-

ll d
’ ’
s at I o

What w o u i f d ista t i d i gs
ld y ou d o, l ov e, n t n

fi d i gs
-

T hy f d on co n - -
n

h u ld u d r mi S o n e -
ne

A d bi d i g a th su l t ry ki ’
n I a -
n ne s e s,

h u ld hi k th r y
-

S o t n o e e es

W r a s bright a s h i e e t ne 5’

Oh am i t
, n th ugh g i l t d l m
e n ot ; o u an s za e

W hy m e re o n t na e,

I d st i ll b ’
e tr u e ;
Bu t hat h a r f b i sh u ld a th r
t e t o t itne , o no e sb a r e

u ld b i t I co n ot ea r
,

W h at w ld d ou I o

W hat w ou ld y ou d o, wh h m en, i go e te -
tu rn -
n

W i h h p s high b
,

t i go e u rn n

Wi th w al th f y
-

e or ou

If my b a r k, t h at b ou n d d-
c f r ig fi m
o er
’
o e n a

h u ld b l st a r b
S o e o ne
,

orn e ,

A h wha t w l y , ou d ou do ?
4 3 2 Ha n dy A n dy
th u w r p d I d b l ss
SO o m w e t s ar
’
e th e ar ro

wa t
- -

, ,

w In n a n d sor ro

That l ft m
-

e e ou
y ;
A d I d w l m m fr m h w a s t i g it l w ti b
‘
n e co e e o t e n o

M y h a rt
-

,
th
y pi l w e l o

T
-

wb
‘

d d t I
’
HA T 3 a o ! 1

Well done p d s aid the d oc t or w ith

,
a re l
; good
e mphasis an d d iscretion .

“
A n d n ow my dear M iss D awson sai d Fath e r Phi l
, , ,

s ince I v e read t h e li nes at you r h igh bidd ing w i ll y o u

’

s i ng them fo r m e a t my h um ble ask ing ?

Ve ry antit h et ica l ly put i ndeed said Fanny ; “ bu t
”
, ,

o u mus t e xcu se m e
y .

o u said t here w as a t u ne t o it
“ Y

“
Yes ; bu t I pro m ised Captai n M oriar t y to si n g hi m
t b is
”
said Fan ny go ing ov e r to the pian ofort e an d lay
, , ,

i ng h er han d o n a n o pen m u sic book -

.

Than ks M iss D awson s aid M ori a rt y follow i ng

”
, , ,

fas t .

Now i t was n ot tha t Fan ny D awso n liked the cap t ai n

,

t hat she was goi ng t o s ing” the song ; bu t she though t h e

had bee n rather mobbe d by th e d octor and th e p a d r e
about t he rea d ing o f th e v erses and it was her good ,

b reeding w hic h made h er pay t hi s l ittle attent io n to t he

worst ed pa rty S h e pou red forth h er sweet v o ice i n a
.

s imple me l ody t o th e fol lowing words

NO E
1
T D ED O TO 7 1 h f r g i g d i al u
THIR d IT I N T e o e o n og e an

M ri a r y s a p i us ma rks w r m a t wh h a pp a r d i
.

’
t t o e n en t e e e n
o c re e e y
fi rs t d i i a s a h i a t a r a i s mall ri t i w u ld b s g ,

t he e t on , t ce t n c c — a o -
e on

wri r — wh d s i ll a ur d a r i l s f h R vi ws d
te o oe n t e t c e or t e e e an ex

pr ss d hi ms lf v ry mp t u us l y f my s gs b a us f t h ir
,
-

e e e e cont e o o on ec e o e

si mp l i i a s w a s p l a s d phr s i t
c t
y ; o r, I h a k a k of
he e e to a e ad n c

pu t i g mm hi gs t g th r
t n co h s g w a s wri t
on t n i ll us o e e T e on
,

ten to
rat my b l i f tha t h m st mm p la pr ssi pp p i
.

t e e e t e o co on ce ex e on , a ro r

m y su ssfu ll s rv purp s s f h l ri d
-

a ly pp li
te a ed , a cc e y e e t he o e o t e
y c an

h r p ri h pr v d m right f his v ry s g f What

e e ex e e n ce as o e e or t e on o

wi ll y ( a i i g wi hi i t h
ou do th r mm p la
cont n n t n
,

t e o e co on ce ,

Tha t what I d b r iv d wi h sp i al fav ur

-

h do by
’ ’
S as e en e ce e t ec o
the pub l i wh s l g ti u d g d wi ll w a rd s my mp si
c, o e on -
co n n e oo to co o
t i s g rall y g a fu ll y a k w l d g
on e ne I r te c no e e.
 Ha n dy A n dy
I do n t ’
a ny al lusio n whate v er said t h e c r i t ic
se e , .

Do n t y
“ ’
ousee the poet allud ed t o t h e s t ars i n the
milky w ay and say s t h e r efo r e The s t ars I w
, , , ea n

Bah ! bah ! doctor excla i med t he critical capta i n

,
”
;
“
you are i n oneof you r qu izz in g moods t o n ight a nd -

,
’
is i n v ai n t o expec t a se r i ous answer from you
t He .

t u rned his h eel as h e Spo ke and wen t away

on , .

M oriart y yo u k no w M iss D awson is a m an wh o

, , ,

a ff ec t s a horro r f pu n s and t herefo r e I alway s pu n ish

o ,

hi m w ith as many as I can s aid the do tor w ho was

,
c
,

left by M o riarty s s udde n piq u e to the enjoy men t o f a

’

p leasan t c ha t with Fan ny and he was sorry whe n t he

,

hour arri ved wh ich d istu rb e d i t by th e break ing up f o

t h e part y a n d t h e d e part u re f t h e gu es t s
o .
 C H A PT E R XXX I V

W H EN t h e W idow Roo ne y was fo rc ib l y eje c te d

from t h e ho us e o f M rs J am es C asey and
fo u n d t ha t A n dy wa s n o t t h e possesso r o f t ha t l ady s
.
,
’

charms sh e pos t ed o ff t o N e ck o r N o t hi n g H a ll t o
,
- -

hear t h e fu l l a nd t ru e accou n t o f t h e t ra n sact io n fro m

A ndy hi msel f O n arri ving a t t h e o ld i ro n ga te a n d
.
,

pu l ling t h e loud bel l s h e wa s s poken t o t hroug h t h e ,

bars by t h e savage o ld jan i t or an d to l d t o “ go o u t 0 ’

t hat M rs Roon ey though t fate was u si ng h e r hard

. .

i n dec reeing s he wa s t o recei v e de n ia l a t ev ery doo r a n d ,

e n deav ou red t o obtain a par l ey w i t h t h e ga te keep e r t o -

wh i ch he seem e d n o w ay i nc l i ned .

My n am e s Rooney s ir ? ’

Ther e s p le n ty bad 0 t h e n am e wa s t h e c iv i l
’ ’

r ej oi nd e r .

A nd my so n s i n S q ui re O G ra dy s s arv ic e s ir
'
’ ’ ’

, .

O h — you r e t h e m o t h e r o f t h e b e a u t y w e c a ll
’

H a n dy eh ,

Y is, s ir .

W ell h e le ft t h e sarv ic e
, y i s t h e rd a
y .

I s i t los t t h e p l ac e ?
Y is .

O h dear ! Ah s ir l e t m e u p t o t h e hou se an d , ,

s pake t o h is ho nou r an d m ayb e h e ll t ake back t he ,

’

bo
"H e
2 d oes n t w an t any m or e s e rva nt s a t a ll —
’
for
he ’
s dead
”
.

Is i t Sq ui r e O G ra dy dead
’
43 6 Ha n dy A n dy
Ay e d id yo u never h e ar f a d ead s qu ir e be fo r e
o

Wh at did he d ie o f sir ,
?

F i nd o ut said t h e s u lky b ru t e wa lk ing bac k in t o

, ,

h is de n .

I t was true — t he renown e d O G dy was n o more ’

ra .

Th e feve r w h ich h ad s et in from h is broi led bones ,

”

wh ich h e w ld ha v e i n Spite f anybody was fou nd

ou o ,

d i ffi cu lt of abatement ; and the i m poss ib ility o f keepi ng

h im quiet and h is fi ts o f pass ion an d con sequen t fresh
, ,

suppl ies o f bro i led bo nes

“ ”
rende red t h e m alady u n
,

man ageable ; a nd the v ery day afte r A ndy h ad l eft th e

house the fever took a bad t u rn an d i n four a nd twen ty ,
- -

ho urs the stormy O G ra dy was at peace ’

.

W h at a sudden change fell u po n th e hous e ! A ll the

wedd ing paraphern alia w hich h ad b een brought down
l ay n eglected i n the roo ms where it had bee n the objec t
of t he preced ing day s ad m i r at ion Th e dee p abso rb ing
’
.
, ,

s ilent grief o f t h e wi fe — t h e more aud ible so rrow o f

,

t h e gi r ls — th e s ubdued w i ld ness o f th e reck less boy s

,
~

as th ey t rod s i l ently past the chamber whe r e t hey n o

longer m ight d read reproo f fo r the ir noise a l l thi s was ,

l ess t ouch i ng than t he e ff ect th e e ve n t h ad u pon t h e o ld

dowager mot h er Whil e t he senses o f others we r e
.

st u nn ed by t he blow hers becam e awaken e d by t he

,

s hock ; al l her absurd aberratio n passed away an d she ,

s a t i n i nte l lectual sel f possessio n by t he side o f h e r so n s

’
-

d e ath bed wh ich s h e ne v er l eft u n t i l he was laid i n h i s

-

c o fli n H e was th e fi rst and l ast o f he r sons S he had

. .

n ow non e bu t g ra n dchi ld r e n to look u po n — the inter

mediate generat ion h a d passed away an d th e gap ,

yawned fearfully befo re her I t restored her for the .

,

t ime perfectly to her sen ses ; and she gave th e n e c e s

,

sary d i rections on th e m elanc holy occasion and s u p e rin ,

t ended al l the sad ce remo ni als befitti ng t he t i me w ith a ,

calm and d ign i fi ed resign at io n wh ic h i mpressed all

arou nd her w ith wonde r and respect .

S uperadded to th e d ismay wh ic h t h e deat h o f t h e h ead

43 8 Ha n dy A n dy
accou n t was e n d e d sh e poured a t orr e n t f abu se
, out o

upon h er u n fo rt u nate fo rsaken son w hich riv e te d him t o ,

t h e fl oor in u tt er am azem ent .

“
I t h ought I d ge t pity here a t a l l ev en t s said
’
, ,

poo r A ndy but i nstead

; that i t th e wo r st word 0
’ ’
s

and t h e h a r dest name in you r j aw yo u hav e for me .

”

”
A nd sarve yo u r ight you di rty c u r said h is , ,

m other .
“
I ran O ff li ke a foo l wh e n I h e e rd of your
good fo rtun e an d s e e the cond ition t hat baggage left me
,

i n — my teet h k nocked i n and my ey e k noc ked out ,

and al l fo r you r fool e ry becau se y ou cou ld n t kee p ,

’

”
w hat you got .

S u r e mo t her I t el l you
, ,
“
H o wld you r to ngu e y ou oma d b a u n ! A n d then I
,

go t o S qui r e O G ra dy s to look for y ou an d there I

’ ’

he ar you l os t rba t p lace t oo ,

.

“
Faix i t s l ittle loss said A ndy
,
’
, .

That s al l y o u k now abou t i t y o u goose ; you l ose

’
,

th e plac e j ust whe n t he m an s dead and y ou d h a v e had ’ ’

a s h u it o mo u rn in
’
O h you are the mos t mis fo rt u
’
.
,

n ate d iv il A n dy Roo n ey t h i s d ay in Ire l an d — why d id

, ,

I rear y o u at a l l ?
S qu ire O G ra dy d ead s ai d A ndy i n su rpri se an d
’

a l so wit h regret for h i s l ate master .

Yi s — an d y o u v e l ost the mo u rn in ’ ’

O h t he poor S qu ire
,
sai d A ndy .

T h e iliga n t n ew clothe s ! g r um bled M rs Roone y

”
. .

“ A n d th en l uck tu mb l es i nto you r w ay s uch as ma n

ne v er had ; withou t a p l ace or a rap to b less your ,

sel f wit h y ou get a ri ch m an s d augh t er fo r you r wi fe

,
’
,
”
and you let her sl ip th rough your fingers .

How cou ld I hel p i t ? said A ndy .

“ A u h —
g l you bothered the job j us t t h e w ay y ou

d o ev e ryth ing said h is mot h er,

.

“
S u r e I was c i v il s poken t o her -
.

A ug h sai d h is moth er .

”
A n d too k no liberty .
 Ha n dy A n dy 43 9
Yo u goos e
A nd ca lle d h e r M iss .

O h i ndeed y o u m iss e d i t a lt og et h e r
,
.

A nd said I was n t d e s a rvin o f h e r ’ ” ’

.

Th a t w as t h ru e bu t y ou s bou ld n ot b a v e t owld b e r
so. Mak e a woman t h in k you r e b e t t h e r t han h e r ’

a n d sh e 11 li k e you
’ ”
.

“ An d sure when I e n d ay v o u re d t o mak e mys e lf

,

agr e eab l e t o her

“
E n d ay v ou r e d l rep ea t ed t h e o ld wo ma n co n te m p
t u o u sl
y .
“ E n d a u ou r e d
y i ndeed ! Why ,
di d n t you ’

ma ke you rs el f agreeab l e a t o nc e y ou poo r d i rty goose ? ,

n o b u t y o u wen t s n e aking abou t it — I k now as we l l

,

as if I was l ook i n g a t yo u — you w ent s n e a kin an d ’

s n ive li n u nt il t h e gir l t ook a d isgus t t o yo u f o r th ere s

’ ’

no t hi ng a wo m an des pi ses so m uch as shi l l y s ha lly in g ”

-
.

“ S ure o u wo n t hear my d e fi n c e
’ ”
said A n dy
y , ,
.

O h i nd e ed yo u r e b e t t h e r a t d e fi nc e t han a tt ack
,
’

said hi s mother .

S u re t h e firs t li ttle c iv il ty I wan t ed t o pay t o h e r

,
’

s h e t ook u p t h e t hr ee l egged s t oo l to me
”
-
.

“
T h e d ivil m e n d y o u ! A n d wh a t c iv il t y di d y o u
’

o ff er h e r ?
“ I m ad e a grab a t h e r ca p a n d I t hough t s h e d ’
,

hav e b rain e d me ”
.

O o nah s e t u p such a shou t o f l augh t e r a t A ndy s ’

no t ion o f c i v i l ity to a g irl t ha t t h e con v ersatio n wa s,

s t opped fo r some t i me a nd her au nt r e mon stra t ed wi th

,

her a t her wan t o f co m mon s e nse ; o r as sh e said , ,

had n t s h e mo re dece ncy th a n t o l augh a t t h e poo r

’
“

fool s nons e nse ?

’ ”

“
Wha t co u l d I d o age n t h e t h ree l egged s t oo l ? -

sai d A ndy .

Whe re was you r own l egs a nd yo u r o wn arms , ,

a nd yo u r o wn eyes and yo u r o wn t ongu e ,

eh -

“
And sure I tell y o u i t w as al l ready c o n t h riv e d ,

a n d J am e s C asey wa s s ent for a n d cam e ”

.
,
44 0 Ha n dy A n dy
Y is ,
said “
t h e m other bu t n o t for
a l o n g t im e , ,

y o u t o wld m e you rself ; and what w ere yo u doi ng al l

t h at t ime ? S u re su pposi ng you wor o nly a n ew a c
,

qu aintanc e any ma n wo rth a day s ma t e would h ave

,
’

d isc o o r se d her ov er i n the t i me and made h e r sin s ib le

h e was t h e b e st o f h usbands ”
.

I tell yo u s h e wou ld n t l et m e have h e r ear a t a ll ’

said A ndy .

Nor h er cap e ither said O on ah l augh ing , ,

.

A nd then J im Casey kem .

A nd w h y d id y ou le t h im i n
“ I t was $ 1 7 6 let hi m i n I t ell y o u , .

A nd why d i d you l e t h er ? H e was o n t h e wrong

side o f t h e d oor — that s t he ou t side ; and you o n t h e ’

r ight t ha t s the inside ; a nd i t was y ou r ho use an d s h e

’

was y ou r w i fe a nd you w e r e her ma st he r and y o u had

, ,

the rights of the church and th e rights o f t h e law a n d , ,

all t he rights o n you r s ide ; ba rr in rig h t ray so n — tha t ’

yo u never h ad ; and sure w ithout t b a t what s th e u s e ’

o f a l l t h e o t her righ t s i n t h e wor l d ?

S u r e had n t h e h is frien ds rt ly r ong ou t s id e ?

,
’

, ,

N o ma t t h e r i f the door was n t O pened to them for

,
’

t b e n Y O U wou ld ha v e had a st r onger frien d t ha n any 0

’

them p r esent a mong th em ”

Who inq u ired A ndy .

Th e ha ng ma n ans we r ed h is moth er ; for b re a

”
,
k
ing doors i s hangi ng ma t t h e r ; an d I say the p r esen c e
of the hangman s always before people when they ha v e
’

s uch a j ob t o d o an d makes them th i n k t wic e som e

,

ti mes befor e t h ey smash o n ce ; an d so you had on ly t o

keep one wom an s hands qui e t ” ’
.

Faix some o f t hem wo u ld s mas h a d oor as soon as

,

no t said A ndy
, .

Well then you d ha v e t h e sa t isfact ion o f hanging

, ,
’

t h em sai d the mot h er a n d t h at wo uld b e some con

,
”
,

s olation But ev en as it is I 11 h a v e l aw for it

.
,
’

I w ill for t h e prop e rty i s yours any ho w t hough t h e , ,

44 2 Ha n d y A n d y
va
ga b o ne for t he sam
’
e and the J us t ic e ax e s h ; t e o ne

to d in ner an d send s t h ot h er to j ai l O h faix t h e ’

.
, ,

law is a d ainty l ady h takes peop l e by t h e han d wh o ; s e

can a ff ord to wear glo v es bu t p e opl e wi t h b ro w n fists ,

”
m ust keep the ir d istance .

I O ften remark said h is moth e r t ha t fools S pake,

”
,

m ig h ty i ib l bet imes b ut t hei r wisdom all goes w ith

s ns e ;
t h e i r gab W hy did .
y t ake a b h g r ip o f yo
n t ur
’
ou e tt er

l u ck when y had it ? Y o u re w ish i ng yo u w a

ou
’
or

g i l
nt e m an d
an , yet when y h ad the bes t pa r t f ou o

a g i l m (the property I mane ) pu t in t o yo ur way

nt e an , ,

you let it sli p t h rough y ou r finge rs an d aft h e r l ett i n ;

’

a fe ll ow t ake a rich wi fe fro m yo u an d t u r n you ou t o f

you r w hou se y
o n i down a s t oo l t her e an d
,
ou s t on ,

b egi n t o wisa in d e e d l — y o u sn e a k in fool — w ish ’

ind eed ! O ch ! if y o u wi sh w ith o n e hand a n d wash ,

wit h t h oth er w hich wi l l be c lan e fi rst — eh

’

What cou ld I d o ag e n eigh t ? ”

asked A ndy .

Why d id yo u l et th e m i n I say agai n ? sai d t h e

”
,

mo t her q u ick ly
, .

S ure t h e b l am e was n t w ith m e said A ndy b u t ’

, ,

Whis h t w h ish t y ou goose ,

said h is mother , .

A v cou r se you ll b lam e e v e ry o n e a nd e v ery th i ng bu t

’

yo urself Tae losi ng b ar re bla me: t b e sa d d le

’
.

Well maybe it s al l for t he bes t

,
”
sai d A n dy ’

, ,
”
afther al l .

A ug h h o wld you r t ongu e

,

A n d if it wa s n t to be ho w cou l d it be '

Li sten to hi m !
A nd Pro v iden ce is ov e r u s a ll .

O h ! y is ! sa id th e mother “ Wh en foo l s make

”
.

m is ta kes t h ey lay t h e b lame o n Prov i d e nce H ow ha v e .

y ou t h e i mp id e n c e t o t al k 0 Pro v id en c e i n th at mann er ? ’

I ll t el l you where the Pro v idenc e was Prov iden c e

’

sen t y o u to Ja c k D wy e r s and kep Ji m Casey away ’

, ,

and put t he anger in to o wld Jack s h eart — that s what ’ ’

 Ha n dy A n dy 443
t h e Provid en c e d i d — a n d m ad e t h e o p e n i ng for yo u
to s pake u p an d gave y a w ife — w i fe w ith p p y
, ou a ro er t

A h t here s wh ere t h e P rov id ence was ! — an d yo u

,
’

w ere t he m h f a sn ug ho use — t ha t was Prov i

a st er o

d en c e ! A n d w ou l d my s e lf have b e en th e n t t o be
’
on e

h elp in g y in th e farm — reari n g t he p wl milk i

ou o t s, n
’

t he co w maki n th e ilig b h w ith l i g o f

,
’
an t u tt e r, av n s

b utth mil k for t he pigs — t he sow th riv i ng a n d t h e

er ,

coc ks an d hens c heeri ng you r hear t w ith their kl i c ac n

’

th e han k O yarn t h e w heel an d a b k f i g i

’
on ,
an o n ns

u p t he c h i mb l ey — O h ! t here s w he re the Prov idenc e ’

w ou ld h ave bee n — that w ld b b P id ou ane ee n r ov e n ce

i d d — bu t n ever t e ll me tha t P rov ide nce t urned y

n ee ou

f t he house was your w g b mfi d l ”

out o b ; i ot o n oost er u o e .

Ca n t h e t ak e t he l w
“ ’
t h e m aun t ? i n q u i re d
a 0
’

,
”

O on ah .

T“
b e s ur e h e c a n — an d s h a ll
o said t h e ,
t oo,
m ot h er . I ll be ff
“
t orn ey M urphy t o morrow
’
O to
’
-

;
I ll pu rsu e he r for my e ye a n d A n dy fo r t h e pro perty
’

, ,

an d I ll p u t t h e m a ll i n C han cery th e v i ll ai n s !
’

I t s N e wga t e t hey ought t o b e pu t i n sa id A n dy

“ ’

,
”
.

Tu t y
“
foo l C ha ncery i s wo rs e t h an Newgate
, ou ,
°

fo r p e o p l e some t i mes get o u t f N e wga t e bu t t hey o ,

n e v er ge t f C h an cery I hear
ou t o ,
.

As M rs Rooney spoke t h e latch f t he door w as

.
,
o

rai s e d and a m iserably c lad woma n en te red c l osed t h e

, ,

door i m med ia t e l y after her an d placed t h e bar agai ns t ,

i t Th e actio a tt rac te d th e a t tention f al l t he i n mat e s

. n o

o f t h e ho use fo r t he d oo rs o f the peasan t ry are u n i

,

v e rs a l ly l e ft t he latch an d ne v e r s e cu r e d agai nst

“
on ,
”

i nt ru sion un ti l the fa mi ly go to b e d .

God save a ll her e !

“
sai d t h e wom a n as h ”
, s e

approached t h e fire .

O h i t hat y
“
, s ragged Nan ce ? sai d M rs ou,
”
.

Roo ney f th at w th e u n en v iable bu t desc ript i v e

; or as

t itle th e n e w comer w k no wn by and th ou gh h

-
as : s e

kn ew i t for her b iq y et sh e a l s o knew M rs

sou r ue t , .
444 Ha n d y A n dy
Roon e y wou l d n o t cal l her by i t i f h we re n ot i n s e an
i ll t e m per so h began hu mbly to ex pl ain th e cause
,
s e o f
h er v i sit w hen M rs Roo ney broke i n g fil y
,
. ru

O h y o u alway s m ake o u t a good rayson fo r co m

,
”
i n g ; bu t we hav e noth i ng for y o u to n ig ht -
.

”
“
T h ro t h yo u do me w rong
,
said th e beggar “ i f , ,

you th i n k I ca me rb ooling 1
I t s on ly t o k eep harm .
’

fro m the i n nocen t gi rl here .

“
A rra h what harm wo u l d hap pen h er w oma n ?
, ,

ret u r ned t he w idow savagely ren de re d more mo r os e

, ,

by th e hu mbl e beari ng o f h er again st whom she d i rected

h er sev erity ; as i f sh e go t more angry t he l e ss the poor
c reatur e wou l d gi v e h er cau se t o j usti fy h e r harshness .

“
Is n t s h e u nd h er my roof her e ?
’ ”

B u t how l o ng may s he b e l eft t h e re a ske d th e

wo man s ign ifican tly
, .

Wh a t d o you man e woman ,

I man e t her e s a pla n t o c arry h e r o ff fro m you

’

t o n igh t
”
-
.

O o n ah grew pale w it h t ru e t er ror an d t he w ido w ,

s c r eeched afte r th e more approv ed m an n er o f e lderly

,

l ad ies mak ing bel iev e t h ey are very m u ch shocked t il l ,

Nance rem inded her t hat c ry i n g wou ld do n o good and ,

t h at it was requ isit e to m ake som e prepa ratio n agai nst

t h e approachi ng dan ger Various p lan s were h asti ly .

s uggested an d as h astily rel i nqu is h ed t i ll Nance a d

, ,

v ised a measu re w h ich was deemed t h e be st It was to .

d r ess A ndy i n fe male att i re an d let h im b e ca rried o ff

i n place o f the girl A n dy roa r ed with laughter a t th e
.

n ot ion o f bei ng m ad e a g i r l o f a n d said th e trick ,

wo uld i nstantly b e seen through .

Not if yo u ac t you r pa rt well ; j us t k e ep d ow n t he

giggle j ewel an d pu t o n a moderat e pb ille lew an d do
, , ,

t h e th ing n i ce an d steady and yo u ll b e t h e sa v ing of ,

’

you r cou si n here .

You may d ecei ve them w ith t he d h r e ss a nd I may

1
G i g o ch a c e h e r d th re t o pi c k up wha t o n e can
o n n n e an e , .
446 Ha n dy A n dy
m att e r a n d r eq u ir e d mo r e rags than t h e hou s e a ff orded
, ,

so som e straw was i nd is pen sable wh ich the p ig s bed ,

’

only cou ld s u pply I n the m ids t f the ir fears the . o

,

w ome n could not he l p l aughi ng a s t h ey e ff ecte d so me

l ikeness t o t hei r w form s wit h their stu ffi ng and pado n ,

d ing bu t t o ca r ry ff the wid t h o f A ndy s shou lders

; o
’
re

q ui red a v e ry am ple and v oluptuous out li n e i ndeed and ,

A n dy co uld n ot hel p wis h ing the s traw was a l ittle

sweeter wh ich they w e re packing u nd er his n os e A t .

last how ev er a fter soap i ng dow n h is straggli n g hair o n

, ,

h is forehead an d ty ing a bo nn e t u po n h is head t o shad e

,

h i s face as m uc h as possible t h e d i sgu ise was c om ,

p lete d and t h,
e n e x t mov e was t o pu t O on ah i n a p l a c e
o f safety .

Get u po n t h e h urd l e i n t h e cor ne r u nd e r t h e

“
,

thatch said Nan c e ,

”
.

O h I d b e afeard ,
my l i fe t o stay i n t h e h ous e
’
o
’

a t al l .
”

Y o u d b e safe e nough I t e ll y
“ ’
s aid Nanc e ,
ou , ;
for on c e th ey t hat fi n e you ng wo man th er e p Oi
se e ,
nt

i ng t o A ndy and la ugh ing they 11 b e sat isfied w it h

, ,
“ ’

t h e lob w e v e made for t he m ’

.

O onah s t i ll exp ress e d h e r fear f r e mai n i ng in t h e o

cabin .

Th en h ide i n t h e p tr e nch b e h i nd t he h ous e rat e e -

, .

Tha t s bet t er said O on ah ’

,
”
.

A nd now I must b e goi ng said Nance

“
for t hey , ;
m ust n ot m e wh e n they co me
se e .
”

O h don t leav e m e Nanc e d ear cri ed O o nah for

,
’

, , ,

I m s u r e I ll fain t w ith the frigh t w hen I hear them

’ ’

coming i f some ,
is wit h m e one n ot .
”

Nan ce y ielded to O h fears an d e n t reaties an d ona

’
s ,

w i th m any a blessi ng and bou n dless th an ks fo r t h e

beggar wom an s k ind ness Oon ah led t h e way to the
-
’

l ittl e potato garden at the back f the hous e and th ere o ,

the wome n squatted t h emselves i n o f the t r en ch e s one

and awai t e d t h e im p en d ing e v e n t .

 Ha n dy A n dy 447
I t was l o ng i n arri v i n g Th e t ram p f ap proach
no t . o

i n g ho rses a t a s harp pac e rang t h ro ugh t he s t i lln e ss o f

t h e n ight a n d t h e wo me n c rouch i n g fl at beneath th e
, ,

overs pread ing bran ches f t h e po t a t o t ops lay br e ath l es s o ,

i n t h e bot t o m f t h e t r e n ch as t h e riders cam e u p

o ,

t o t he w idow s co t tag e a n d e nt e r e d T here th ey fo un d

’
.

t h e w idow an d h er ps e ud o n iec e s i tting a t t h e fir e an d ;

t hree d run ke n vagabon ds for th e fou r t h was ho l d ing t h e ,

ho rses o u t s ide c u t som e fan t as t ic capers rou n d t h e

,

cabi n a nd maki ng a moc k ob eisanc e

, t he w i dow to ,

t h e s pokesm an add re ssed h er w ith

You r ma am
sa rv a n t ,
’

Who ar e y i a t a ll g i l m z t h a t comes t o my ,
nt e an,

p l ac e a t t h is t im e n i gh t a n d w hat y ou r b usine ss ?
0
’

,
’
s
“
W e wan t t h e l oan t ha t you ng wo ma n t h e r e 0
’

ma am sai d t he fli
’

,
”
ru an .

A n dy a nd h i mo t h e r bo t h u t t e red sm al l sq u al l s
s .

And f aswh w e are m a am w e

or o t he b l ess e d ,
’

,
’
re

soci et y f S ai nt Jos e p h m a am —
o coa t f arm s i s
,
’
our o

w h e ad s po n pillow a n d m o tt y W h ’
‘
t o u o ne , our , o s

afraid ? H urroo s hou t ed t he sa v age an d h e t wi r l ed ,

h is st ic k a n d cu t a n o t her c aper Th en c om i ng u p t o .

A ndy h e ad d ress e d h i m
,
you ng w oma n and s aid as
“
,
”

t her e was a fi n e s t r pp i n g fe ll o w w hos e h ear t was break

a

i n g ti ll h e wl d h e r i n h i arms
ro e s .
”

A ndy an d t he mo t her both ac te d t h e ir part s v e ry well .

H e rushed t h e arms f t h e ld woman f protect io n

to o o or ,

a n d screeched sm all w h i le t h e w i dow shou t ed milli ,

“ o

m b !
ur t er a t the p f h e r v oi ce an d d idto giv e u p
o ,
n ot

h er ho l d f t h e make believ e y oung wo ma n u n t i l h er cap

o -

w torn ha l f ff a n d her hair stream ed abou t her face

as O ,
.

S h e cal l ed al l t he sain t s in t h e c a le n dar as h k n el t

on ,
s e

i n t h e m idd le f t h e fl oo r a n d roc ked

o a nd f w ith to ro ,

h er c l asped h an d s raised heav e n c a ll i ng dow n cu rses to ,

on t h e v i l l ai n s a n d robbers t ha t wer e t eari ng her

“ ”

ch i l d fro m he r wh i l e t hey t h rea te ned t o s t op h er b r e at h

,

a lt og et h e r i f h d i d n o t mak e le ss n ois e a n d i n t h e
s e ,
448 Ha n dy A n dy
m id s t o f t h e u proar d ragged O ff Andy whose s t rugg l es ,

and despair m ight ha v e exci ted t he sus picion o f soberer

men Th ey l ifte d h i m u p o n a s t out horse i n fr on t o f
.
,

the mos t powe r fu l m an of t he party who gri pped A ndy ,

ha r d ro un d th e m idd le a nd pushed his horse to a han d

gallo p followed by th e rest o f t h e party The prox
,
.

i mit y o f A ndy to hi s ca v a lie r o m ade t he lat t er s ens ible to

t he bad odo ur o f t h e pig s bed wh ic h fo rmed A ndy s ’

,
’

l ux urious bus t an d bu stle ; b ut h e att ribu t ed th e u nsa

vo u r
y scen t t o a bad breath o n t he l ady s p ar t an d wou l d ’

som et imes add r ess h is cha r ge t hu s

p la z e would yo u turn you r
“ Young wo man i f y ou
, ,
“
face t h other way ; the n i n a s ide soli loquy
’
By ,

a k e r I wo n d h e r at Jack s taste s h e s a fin e lu mp o f
’

J
’

a girl bu t her breath i s mu rthe r in t ire ly — phew

,

young woman t urn away you r fac e o r by t hi s an d t h at

, ,

I l l fall O ff th e h orse I v e h e e rd o f a bad b reath

’
.
’

t hat m ig h t k noc k a m an dow n but I n ev er met i t ti ll ,

n ow O h m u rthe r i t s worse it s g ro win — I su p

.
,
’ ’ ’

pose t is t he b u mp in she s getti n that shakes th e b rea th

’ ’ ’ ’

o u t o f h er s t h ro n — oh th ere it is agai n — phew !

g ,

I t w as as w ell pe r h aps fo r t h e prosecut io n o f th e

, ,

deceit t h at the dist aste the fellow con ceived for h i s

,

c ha rge p r ev en ted any closer approaches to A ndy s v is ’

age wh ic h m ight ha v e d ispelled the i llus io n u nder wh ich

,

he s t i ll push ed forw ard to the h ills and bu m ped poor

A ndy t owards t h e t erm i n ation o f h i s ride Keepi ng a .

sh arp l ook o u t as h e wen t along A n dy soo n was able to

-

pe rcei v e they w ere m aki ng fo r th at wild pa rt o f t he h i l ls

whe re h e had d iscove red the priv ate sti l l on th e n ight o f
his temporary frigh t and i maginary rencon t re w ith t h e
gi ants and th e co nv ersat io n h e part ly o v e r heard all
,

recu rred t o him an d h e sa w at on ce t h at Oo n ah w as

,

t he perso n alluded to whose n am e h e cou ld not catch a

, ,

c i rc u mstance that cost h i m many a conje cture i n th e

i nte r i m T hi s ga v e h im a clue to t he perso ns i nto
.

w hos e po wer h e was abou t t o fall afte r hav ing so far ,

45 0 Ha n dy A n dy
mas agai n s t t h e g r ou nd and t he ladder and re t u rn e d ,

speed ily w ith t he m ock lady and her att e ndan t s quires -

O h my j ewel ! roared Jack as he caugh t s ight

,
”
,

of his prize H e scramb led u p o n hi s legs an d m ade

.
,

a rush at A ndy wh o i m itated a woman s scream and

,
’

frig h t at t he ex pec t ed embrace ; bu t it was w ith much

great e r d i ff i cu lty h e suppressed hi s l augh te r a t th e h ead
l ong fall w ith wh ich B ig Jack plu nged his h ead i nto a
hea p o f turf and h ugged a sack o f malt wh ich lay
1
,

besid e i t .

A n dy e ndeav ou r e d to ov ercom e the provoca t io n t o

m e r rimen t by screech i ng ; and as B ridge t caugh t t h e
sou nd o f t h is t en de n cy towards laughter b e tw ee n th e
scr e am s s h e t hought i t was th e co m m e n c e m e nt o f a fit
,

o f hys t erics a n d i t accoun t ed all t h e b e t te r for A ndy s

’

e x t ra v agan t an t i cs .

O h t h e crayth u r i s fr igh t en e d o u t o f her l i fe !

,

said B ridge t .
”
Leav e her to me said s h e to th e men ,
.

“ There
,
jew e l mach ree ! ”
sh e conti nued to A ndy ,

sooth in gly “ don t take o n you that way — do n t be

,
’ ’

a f e e rd
,
you r e amo ng friends — Jac k i s o n ly d h ru n k
’

d h r in k in g you r h e alth dar l i n bu t h e ador e s y ou ’

, , .

A ndy s creech ed .

“ B u t d on t be a fe e rd ’
o u ll be t h rat e d t en de r a n d
’

y , ,

h e 11 m arry you dar l i n l ik e an honest woman !

’

,
’

A n dy squalled .

B u t no t to n ight j e we l -
d on t b e fr igh te ned
,
’
.

A ndy ga v e a h ea v y sob a t t he r e sp ite .

“ B oys will you lift Jack out o

,
th e t u rf a nd carry ’

hi m u p i nto th e air ? t wi ll be good for h im an d th i s ’

,

d a c e n t girl w i ll sleep w ith me t o nigh t

”
-
.

A ndy co u ld n t r e sis t a laugh a t this an d B r idget

’

feared t he gi rl wa s go ing O ff i n t o hys te rics agai n .

A isy dear ,
a isy su re y ou ll b e safe w i t h m e ’
.

O w ! o w ! ow s houted A n dy .

O h mu rt h e r l cried B ridg e t
,
” “
t he st e rric k s w ill ,

1 P at e .
 Ha n dy A n dy 45 1

b e h d e ath O f h e r ! Y
t e b l ackgu ards yo u frigh ten ed
ou ,

h e r comi g u p h e re I m su r e
n ,
’
.
”

The m e n swor e t hey b e h aved i n t h e ge n tee les t

m an n e r .

W ell t ake away Jac k and t h e gi r l s ha ll hav e sh are

, ,

f my b e d f t his n ig ht ”
o or .

A ndy shoo k i n t er n a ll y w i t h laugh t er .

“
D ear d ear how h h imb l !
, ,
s c rie d B ridg e t
e t r es
”
.

“
Do n t be ’
frigh t fu l l
so m b — t h e re
,
a n na w ae r ee ,
no

t hey t ak in g J ac k away and yo u alo ne with myse l f

’
re ,
’
re

and wi l l have a n ice s l e e p .

”

Th e m e n all t h e t i me w e r e r e movi ng Sb M to an or e

u pp e r ai r an d th e l as t sou nd s th e y h e ard a s t hey l eft

;
t he cav e w ere t h e coax i ng t on es f Bridg et s v o ice o
’

i n v i t i n g A n dy i n t he soft es t words
, g t o bed , to o .
 C H A PTE R X X X V

H E workshops o f Neck o r—Noth i ng H a ll ra n g wi th

-

the sou nd s o f occu pati on for two days after the

d em ise o f its former master Th e h oarse g rating sou nd
.

o f the saw the whi s t ling o f the plan e and the st r oke o f
, ,

t he m allet den oted th e presen ce o f the ca r pente r ; an d

t h e s harper c li nk o f a h am mer told o f old Fogy t h e ,

fa m ily m il lin e r be i ng at work ; but it was n o t on

“ ”
,

m i l linery Fogy was n ow em ploy ed thoug h neith er was ,

it l egitimate t i nker s work H e was sc r olli ng out with

’
.

h is shears an d beating into fo r m a plate o f tin t o serv e

, , ,

fo r th e shi eld on O G ra dy s co ffi n w h ic h was t o record

’ ’

his n am e age and day o f depa rt ure ; and this was th e

, ,

s e con d plate o n wh ic h t he o ld man work e d for o n e wa s ,

already fi n ished in t h e co rner Why ar e there two .

c o ffi n plates ?
-
E nter t he carp e n t er s shop an d you w il l ’

see the an swe r i n two co ffi ns the ca r pen ter h as n ea r ly

c omplet e d B u t why two c o fli n s fo r o n e death ? L isten
.
,

r e ader to a bit o f I r ish strategy

,
.

It has bee n stated that an app rehen sio n was ent e rt ained
o f a s eizu re o f th e i nan imate body o f O G ra d for the ’

y
d ebts i t had contracted i n li fe and the harpy n atu re o f
,

the mon ey le nder from whom thi s mov em en t was d readed

-

warranted t h e fear H ad O G ra d y bee n popu lar s uch

.
’

a m easu re on t he pa rt o f a cruel cred i t or m ight h av e

been de fi ed as th e su r r o u nding peasan t ry wou ld h av e
,

ri sen e n ma sse to p re v en t it ; but th e hosti le posit ion i n

w h ic h h e h ad placed h imself towards the peo ple a l ie n
ated the n atu ral a ff ection they are bor n wi th for th e i r
c hie fs a nd any part ia l d efen ce t he few fi e rc e ret ainers
,
45 4 Ha n dy A n dy
the r et ai n e rs t h ronged t o h o n ou r t he O bse q u i es f the ir o

de pa rt ed c h ief wit h an i ncreased en th us iasm which rose ,

i n pro po rt io n as t h e w hisky go t low an d so ngs i n pra ise ;

o f thei r p r e sent occu pat io n — that is getti n g drun k ,

ran g me rri ly ro un d and t he s po rt s f the fi eld an d t h e

,
o

so rrows and joys f l o v e re sou nded i n short t he rul ing

o ; ,

p assions o f li fe figu red in rhy m e and m us ic i n honou r

o f t his occas io n f d eath — a n d as d e ath is the m aker
o

o f widows a v e ry anim ated d iscu ssion o n t he s ubj ect f

,
o

w idowhood arose w h i ch a ff ord ed great scope fo r th e

,
“
rust ic wits an d wa s crowned by the song f W idow
, o

M achr e e bein g u ni versally c alled for by the com p an

”
y ;
and a fi loo k ing fel lo w w ith a m e rry eye and la rge
ne -

wh ite teeth wh ich h e am ply d isp l ayed by a w ide mout h

, ,

pou red fo rt h i n ch ee ry tones a pretty l iv ely a ir wh ich

su it e d well t he h umorous s p irit o f t h e words

W ID W O M A C H R EE

Wi d w m h i t s w d r y f r w
o a c ree ,
’
no on e ou o n,

h wi d w ma hr O ch one o c ee :
’
Fa i th i t rui s y ur l ks t h a t s a m d ir y b la k g w
n o oo e t c o n,
,

h wi d w ma hr O ch one
,

o c ee

H w al t r d y ur h a ir
.

o e e o

Wi th tha t l s p w ar c o e ca
y ou
,

T is d s t r i g y ur h a ir
’
e o n o
y
Whi h sh u ld fl wi g fr c o be o n ee

B e no l g r a hur l
on e c

O f i b la k si l k
ts ulc en c r

hh wi d w ma hr ,

Oc one o c ee .

W i d o w ma chr e e su mm r i m n o w t he e s co e,

h wi d w ma hr O ch
,

one o c ee

Wh v r thi g s mi l s sh u ld a b a u ty l
en e e
y n e o e oo k glu m
h wi d w ma hr O ch o ne !
,

o c ee .

bird s i p irs
Se e t h e go n a

A dn ra bbi s d ha r s
t he t an
,

e
 Ha n dy A n dy 45 5
W hy v h b a rs e en t e e

N wi up l s agr o n co e ee

A d h mu t l i t l fi h
n t e e t e s

Th ugh h y a t sp a k h y wish
,
’
o t e c n e t e

h h wi d w ma hr , ,

Oc one ! o c ee.

W i d o w ma chre wh wi t r m s i e , a nd en n e co e n,

h h wi d w ma hr Oc one ! o c ee ,

T b p ki g h fi
o e all al
o is a
n t e re o ne s in ,

h h wi d w ma hr Oc o ne ! o c ee,

Sur h sh v l d t gs
e t e o e an on
T a h h r b l gs
o e c ot e e on

A d h k i tt l si gs s gs
,

n t e e n on

F u ll f f a mi l y g l o ee ,

Whi l al with y ur p
e one o cu

L i k a h mi t y sup
,

e er ou

h h wi d w ma hr Oc one ! o c ee .

A nd k w with h mf rt s
h ow d o y o u no t e co o I
’
ve t o wl d ,
h wi d w ma hr
O ch on e !
,

o c ee,

Bu t y k pi g s m p r f ll w
ou
’
re i h ee n o e oo e o ou t n t e co wld ,
h h wi d w ma hr Oc on e ! o c ee

Wi th su h si s y ur h ad
.

c n on o e

Sur y ur p a w u ld b fl d
e o e ce o e e
,

C u ld y s l p i y ur d
,

o ou ee n o be
W i th u t thi k i g
,

o n n to se e

Som gh s t e s m spri t o or o e e

Tha t w u ld wak y a h ight

o e ou e c
,

C ry i g h w i d w ma hr ,

O ch
’
n , one ! o c ee .

Th en ak e my ad vi ce da r l i g wi d o w ma chre e
t n

O c h h n ! wi d w ma c hr
, ,

o e o ee,

A nd wi th my advi fa i th I wish y d take me ce

’
ou
’

O c h h o ne ! wi d w ma chre e
, ,
o

d h a v e m t o d sire
.

Y ou
’
e e

Th e n t o s it r b y t h e fi e

A d sur
n l iar e h O p e is n o
w isp ri g m In h e n to e

T ha t h gh s t s w u ld d p a rt
t e o o e

W h y d m a r y ur h a r
,
’
en ou e ne o e t,
O h h wi d w ma hr c one ! o c ee.
45 6 Ha n dy A n dy
Th e s ing e r w as h onou r e d wi t h a rou nd f ap plause o
,

an d h is c h al l e nge for another lay was r ead ily an swe r ed ,

an d m i rt h an d mus ic fi l led t he n ight an d ushered i n th e

d awn of th e d ay w h ic h was to w itn ess th e me l ancholy
sigh t f t h e master f an ample m an s ion be ing mad e t he
o o

t e n an t o f th e n arrow h ou se .
”

I n th e e v e ning f t hat d ay how e v e r t h e w ail ros e

o , ,

loud a n d lon g t h e m irth wh ic h the wak ing perm its

;
h ad pass ed away an d t he li ,
fu neral c ry t old
a ca n
, or ,

t h at t h e l ifeless chie f wa s b e i ng bo rne from h is h al l .

Tha t w il d c ry was heard e v en by th e party wh o w er e

wait ing to make thei r horrid seizu re an d f b pa rty ,
or r a t

t h e ston e lad en co ffi n w as sent with a reti nue of m ourn

-

ers t hrough t h e ld i ro n gate f t he p r incipal en t r ance

o O ,

w hi l e the mo rt al remai n s we re born e by a smaller party

t o the river in let an d p l aced the raft H alf an hour on .

had w i t n essed a sh am fight the part f O G d y on o

’
ra
’
s

peopl e w ith t he b i li ff s a nd thei r fo llow er s who m ade

a ,

the s e iz u re they i n t en ded an d locked u p their prize i n,

a n l d barn t o w h ic h it had been con v eyed u nt il some

O ,

engagem e nt t h e par t f the h ei r shou ld liberate it

on o ;
w h ile the aforesaid h ei r as soo n as th e shadows f e v en
,
o

i ng had shrou ded t he ri v e r i n obsc uri ty con veyed th e ,

rem ains which the my rm idon s f the law fa nc ied th ey

,
o

possessed to it s q u iet an d lon ely resti ng p lac e The

,
-
.

raft was taken in tow by a boa t carry i ng two f th e o

b oys an d pu lled by fou r l us t y retain ers f th e depa r ted

,
o

c hief wh i le Gu sta v us h i m self s t oo d

,
the raft astride on ,

o v er th e co ffi n and w ith an ee l s pear wh ich h ad a ff ord e d

,
-

hi m ma ny a day s Spo rt pe r formed t h e me l ancholy t ask

’

o f guid i ng i t It w as a st r angely pai n fu l ye t beauti fu l

.

sight to b eho l d t h e gracefu l figu r e f t h e fin e b y o o en

gaged i n th i s l ast d d uty w ith dex t e ro us e n e rgy he

sa ;
pl ied h is s pear n ow ,
th i s sid e and n ow on that d irect on ,

i n g t h e cou rse f t he raft o c leari ng i t from t h e fl aggers

,
or

w h ich i n t erru pted its passage t h rough th e n a rrow i let n .

This d uty h e had t o atte nd to for so m e t im e ev en afte r ,

45 8 Ha n dy A n dy
W e r e fi n ish ing you r work said o n e o f t h e m e n
’
,
”

w ith m alic ious earn e stn es s .

M y work ? repeated Edwa rd .

“ Yes ” ret urn ed t h e m an mor e s t e r n ly t ha n be fore

, ,
”
this i s t he grave o f O G ra dy ’
.

Th e word s wen t l i ke an ice bo l t t hroug h Edward s -

’

heart and e v en by the torc hlight t he tormen tor could

,

see h is v icti m grew l i v id .

The fellow w h o wo unded so d e eply o n e so genera l ly

beloved as Edward O C o n n o r was a t ho rough r u ffi a n
’
.

H is answer to Edward s query s prang n o t fro m l o v e o f

’

O G ra d y n or abhorrence o f t aki ng h u man l ife bu t

’

, ,

fro m the oppo rt un ity o f retor t which t he occasio n

o ff ered upon on e w ho had onc e checked hi m i n an ac t o f
b ru t ality .

Ye t Edward O Co n n o r could n o t rep ly — it was a

’

hom e t hru s t The d eath o f O G ra dy h ad weighed

.
’

hea v ily u pon h im ; for though O G ra dy s wou n d had ’ ’

b ee n gi ve n in ho nourab l e co mbat pro v oked by h is o wn ,

fu ry an d n o t produ ci ng i m m ed iate death ; t hough tha t

,

death had sup e rven e d u po n th e subsequ en t in t ra c t ab il

i ty o f the patien t ; y e t t he fact tha t O G ra dy had n e v er ’

b e en u p and doi ng since th e d u el t ended t o g iv e t he

i m pr e ssio n t h a t h is wou n d was t he remot e i f n o t t he im
m ed iate cause o f his deat h and th is c i rcums t anc e we ighed
,

h ea v ily on Edward s s pi rits H is frien ds told h i m he

’
.

fe lt o v er kee n ly upon the s ubject and tha t n o o n e bu t ,

h i mself co uld e nt e rtai n a quest io n o f b i: total i nnoc e n c e

o f O G ra dy s d eath ; but whe n fr o m the li ps o f a com
’ ’

mo n peasant h e got the a nswer h e d id and rb a t besid e ,

t he gra v e o f hi s ad v ersary it w i ll n o t b e won dered at

,

tha t h e reeled i n hi s saddl e A co ld s h i v ering s ickn ess

.

ca m e o v er h i m and to avo id fall ing he al ighted a nd

,

lea ned for su p po rt aga i ns t h is h ors e wh ich s t o o pe d wh e n , ,

freed from th e r e strai n t o f th e rei n to browse o n the ,

ran k ve r d u re ; and for a mome nt Ed ward e n v ied t h e u n

co n sciousn ess O f the ani m al against w hic h h e l e an ed .
 Ha n dy A n dy 45 9
H e pre ss e d h is for e h ead agai ns t t h e sadd le a n d fro m ,

the de pt h f a b le e d in g heart cam e p

o go n is e d u an a

exc l amatio n .

A gent le han d w l aid h is shou ld e r

as h e s po k e
on as
,

and turn i ng rou n d h e beheld M r B e rmi ngham

, ,
. .

Wha t bri ng s y her e sai d t h e c lergy m a n

ou .

“ A cciden t an swered Edward ,

”
B u t w hy sho uld I .

sa y acc iden t ? — i i s by a h igher authority an d a be tte r

t
— i i s t he w i l l
t f H eav en I t is m e ant as a b i t ter
o .

l esso n t o h u man pride we mak e f ou rselves laws f : or o

b onou r , an d forge t t h e l aw s f G d o o

B e ca l m my yo u ng fr i end s aid t he worthy pas t o r

, , ;
I ca nn o t wo n der y feel d eep l y b u t com mand you r
ou

s el f .
”
H e pr e ssed Ed w ard s h and as h e s poke an d l e ft ’

hi m f h e kn ew t ha t an ago ny
,
or ke en is ben efi t ed so n ot

by com pa n io n shi p .

M r Be rm ingha m w as t h e r e by ap poin t m ent t o per

.

form t h e b uria l serv i ce an d he h ad l e ft Edward s

,
not
’

s id e m any m i n u te s whe n a l ong w i ld wh is t le fro m the

wa t ers an n o u n c e d t h e arriv a l f t h e boa t and raft a n d o ,

t he re t ain ers d ow n t h e river l ea v i n g t h e pi n e

ra n to ,

torch stuck i n t h e u p t u r n ed earth wav in g i warm blaz e ,

ts

over t h e co l d grave D u ri n g t he i n t er v al w h ic h e n s ued

.

be t we e n t h e d epart u r e f t h e me n an d thei r r ea ppear o

ance bearing the body

,
i l as t res t i g p l ace M r B er
to ts n -

,
.

mi g h m s poke w i t h Edward O C
n a an d soothed ’
o n n o r,

hi m i n to a mo re t ra nq u i l bearin g Whe n the co ffi n .

ca me w ith i n v iew b ad va n ced m ee t it an d bega n th e

e to ,

subl im e b urial serv ice w h ic h b repeated mos t i m pres

-

,
e

i ly
s ve Whe n i t w as o ve r th e m e n co m m en ced fi ll i g
.
,
n

u p t he g rave A s t he c lod
. s fe ll po n t h e fli t hey u co n,

sm ot e th e hea rts f the dead m a n s ch i ldren yet t h e

o
’
;
boy s s t ood pon t h e v erge f the g rav e as l ong
u ao as ve s

tige f t he tenem en t f their lo st fath e r cou ld b e s e en

o o ;
b u t as soo n as t he fli w h idde n t hey with d rew fro m
co n as ,

th e b ri n k a nd th e y oun ger b oys e ach t aking ho l d f t h e

, , o

h a n d f t he el d e s t s e e m e d
o i mply t h e n e e d f m u t ua l
,
to o
46 0 Ha n dy A n dy
d ep e n de nc e — as i f d eath h ad d raw n clos e r t h e bo n d o f
b r oth erhood .

T h e r e was n o s i ncerer m ou rner a t t ha t place than

Ed wa rd O C o n n o r who stood a loo f i n respect fo r the
’

, ,

feeli ngs O f th e c hild r e n o f th e d epa r ted m an t il l th e ,

gra v e was q ui t e fil led up and a ll we r e about to lea ve

,

the S pot ; b ut then his fe e lings o v ermaste r ed h i m an d , ,

i m pelled by a t orren t o f conten d i ng emotio ns h e rus h ed ,

fo r ward and th rowi ng hi mse lf on h is kn ees be fo r e G u s

,

t a v us h e held u p h is hands i m plori ngly and sobbed

, ,

fort h Fo r gi v e me !
,

The aston ished boy d rew back .

O h forgi v e m e
,
r epeated Ed ward I cou ld n o t
h el p i t — it was forced o n m e it was
A s he st ruggle d for utteran ce eve n th e rough r e tai n
,

e rs were to uched a nd one O f th em exclai med O h M r

, , ,
.

O C o n n o r i t was a fai r fight

’

There ! exc lai med Ed ward y o u hear it O h ,

gi ve me yo u r hand i n forgi v eness !

“
I forgi v e yo u said t he boy bu t do n ot ask m e t o
, ,

g iv e you my hand t o n ight ”

-
.

“
Yo u are righ t said Edward sp ri nging t o h is fee t
”
, ,
“
y o u a r e righ t — yo u a r e a n oble fellow ; an d now re ,

member my p arti ng wo r ds G usta v u s H ere by the

, ,

s ide o f you r father s g ra v e I pledge you my so u l th a t

’

t hrough l ife and t i ll death i n al l extrem ity Ed ward, ,

O C o n n o r i s you r sworn and t rus t y friend

’ ”
.
46 2 Ha n dy A n dy
c all a i ky r
( e
r s s cu e ) sa id the
a peasant t i ll I
”
t o l d t h e m , ,
’
was a friend
t .

D i il a i k y wi l l come n ear you t o n ight

v r s saida -

Larry yo u may m ake you r m inds aisy abou t tha t for

, ,

t he people do es n t care enoug h abo ut b i b n es to get ’

s o

t hei r w b ro ke i n s a v i n him an d no w dh I t s
o n
’
, on e r.
’

a l h m w h b u lly he always was q uiet as he i s

an t e ru s as
,

no w A nd t here you are my bold squ ire said h e apos

.
, , ,

t rop hi i g th e co ffi wh ich had been thrown a heap

s n n on

f sh ea v es Faix i t a good kitchen yo u ke p any ’ ’

o .
, s ,

h ow w h e ne v e r yo u had it to Sp ind a nd ind eed w he n

, ;
y ou b a d n t y o u S pi nt it all the same for the d iv il a mu c h
’

y ou c ared how yo u got it ; but death has made y ou pay

th e reckon in g at last that th ing that fi lly o ffi c e rs cal l -

the deb t 0 n atu re m u st be paid w hate v er else y o u may

’

,
”
o we .

Why i t s as good as a sa rmo n t o hear you said

“
,
’

o n e o f t he bail i ff s .

O L a rry s ir di scourses ilig a n t said a peasan t

, , , .

“ Tu t tu t tut said Larry w ith a ff ected mod esty

, , , ,
“ it s n ot w h at I s a
’
but I can tell you a th ing tha t
y ,

D o c t h o r G ro wl in put o u t o n hi m mo r e nor a year ago

’

w hich was m
,

ighty cute S cho lars calls it an epit h et ’

.
‘

o f d i ss i pation wh ich m ean s getting a man s tombston e

’ ’

ready f o r h i m befo r e he d ies ; a nd d iv il a more cutt ing

th ing w as e v e r cut o n a t ombs t one t ha n t h e doctor s ’

rhy m e ; t his is it
H
r l i s G d y hat ta k r us r atur
e e e O
’
ra t ca n n e o c e e,

p a i d a s all must p y h d bt f atur

‘V h o
,

a t e e o n e ;
Bu t k pi g g ral ma i m st i ll
ee
,

n to h is e ne
,

P a i d i — l ik th r d b s — a ga i st h wi ll
,

t e o e e t n
'

is
,

.
’
1

What do y th i n k t ha t Goggi n s ? i n qu ired

ou 0
’

,
”

o nebaili ff f r om the ot h er you a j udge p h y ;

“ ’
re o
’
o t
’
r .

I “
t
’
answ e r e d Goggin s au t horita t ively
s re v a r e ,
, ,

Th s bi tt r l i s a b ad y w r wri t b y a D ub l i
1 e e e ne on pa e e t en n

m di al wi t f high r pu
e c f wh m D r G r w l i g is a pr t y p
o e te, o o . o n o ot e .
 Ha n dy A n dy 43
6

“
bu t coor re I wi sh you d b rile t h e rash e rs ; I b e gi n t o
,
’

feel th e ca l ls 0 n a t u r e as t he poe t says

’ ”
,
.

T hi s M is te r Goggi n s w as a ch arac te r i n h is way .

H e h ad t h e gr e a t es t l o nging t o b e t houg h t a po e t pu t ,

exec rab l e cou p le ts toge t her someti mes and a l way s t alked ,

as fi n e as he co u ld ; an d h is m ixt ure o f s e ntim en t ality ,

w ith a l arg e s t oc k o f b l ackguard i s m prod uced a st r ange ,

j u mble .

Th e p e o p l e her e t h ough t i t n a t e s ir s aid Larry , ,

.

O h very w ell f o r t he co un try ! sa id Goggi ns ;

,
”

“
b u t t wo uld n t d o fo r t own
’ ” ’
.

M ist h e r G o g g in g s k n ows best s aid t he bai l i ff who ,

fi rs t s po k e fo r h e s a po te hi ms el f a n d w ri te s i n t h e
,
’

n ews papers .

O h i n d eed
, sa id Larry .

“ Ye
s
”
said Goggi ns “ som et imes I t hrow o ff l i tt l e
, ,

t h in gs fo r t he ne wspapers T h e re s a fri end o f m in e .

’

y o u se e a ge ntl e man con nec t ed w ith t he press wh o i s

, ,

o fte n i n d e ffi c u lt ie s a n d I give h im a h in t t o keep o u t

,

o
’
t he way wh en h e s i n t ro ub l e an d h e swears I ve ’

,
’

a gen us f o r t h e muses a n d e ncourag e s m e ,

H u m ph say s Larry
“
A n d pu t s my t h i ngs i n t h e paper w h en he g et s t h e ,

e d i t or s bac k t u rned for t he ed itor i s a c o n sa it e d c hap

’

t ha t l i kes n o on e s p O t hry bu t h is o wn ; b u t n ev er m i n d
’ ’

i f I e v e r ge t a wri t agains t t ha t cha p won t I sarv e ,

’

“
A nd I d ar s ay som e day y o u w i ll have i t ag en h i m ,

s ir ,
s ai d Larry .

“
S ur e o f i t a mo st said Goggins ; “ t hem lit h e ra ry
,
’

m e n i s always i n d e ffi c u lt ie s .

“
I wo n dh e r you d b e l ik e t h e m t he n a n d w ri te a t
’

, ,

a l l said Larry
, .

“
O h a s f o r m e it s on l y by way o f amu semen t ;
, ,
’

a tt ached as I am t o t he legal professio n my t i m e ,

wo u l d n t perm i t ; b u t I hav e b e e n i n fect ed by t he

’

co m pa n y I k e p t T h e l iv in g images t ha t cr ee p s o v e r
.
46 4 Ha n dy A n dy
a ma n so me t im e s i s i rresist ible and yo u h ave n o pace ,

ti ll y ou get them o u t 0 yo u r head ” ’

.

O h indeed they are ve ry t hro u b le so me say s Larry

, , , ,
“ a nd are the l it h e ra r in t le me n sir as you cal l t hem
y g , , ,

mostly that way

To be su re ; i t is t b a t wh ich m akes a lit h e ra ry m an
h is h ead i s full teem s with creation s ir ,
.

D ear dear ! said Larry

,
.

“ A nd w h e n once the it ch of l it h e ra t u re comes ove r

a m an nothing c an cu r e i t but the sc ratch ing o f a pen

,
”
.

“ B ut i f yo u hav e n ot a pen
”
I s uppos e y ou mus t ,

scratch any oth er way yo u can .

“ To b e sure ” s aid G oggin s “ I ha v e see n a l it h e ra r

, y ,

g e n t lema n i n a spongi ng h ou se do c rack th ings on the

.

wall w it h a bit o f burnt stick rat her t han b e i d le they ,

m us t execute ”
.

Ha says Larr y .

“ S o metimes i n all t h e ir poverty a nd d i ffi cu lty I en v y

, ,

t he fatal fatal”ity as th e po et say s of s uc h men i n ,

’

catch ing ideas .

Th at s the gentee l nam e for i t say s Larry

’

,
.

Oh exclaimed Goggin s e n thu siastically I k now , ,

t he s atis fact ion o f c atchi ng a man but it s n oth ing at ,

’

al l com pared t o catch i ng an idea Fo r th e ma n you .

,

s ee can giv e bai l and get o ff but the idea is yo u r ow n

, ,

fo r e ver And t hen a rhy me — w he n it h as p uzzl ed

.

yo u a l l day t h e pleasure yo u h av e i n n a bbing i t a t las t !

,
”
O h i t s po t hry y ou re s pa k in about said Larry
,
’ ’ ’ ’

,
.

To be su r e said Goggi n s ; do you t h i n k I d

“
,
’

t h row away ”my ti me o n prose ? You re burn ing t ha t ’

bacon T i m said h e t o h is ru b
, ,
.

Po e t h ry agen t h e wo r l d ! cont in ued he t o La rry

“ ”
,

th e Castilian st h ra ime fo r m e ! H an d u s that w h is ky

he put the bottle t o h is m ou t h and too k a swig
That s good — you do a b it o f p r ivate here I suspec t
’

, ,

sai d b e w it h a win k poi nt ing t o the bott le

, ,
.

Larry ret urn e d a sign ifican t grin bu t said n o t hi n g , .

46 6 Ha n dy A n dy
bottle its exh i larat ing rou nd S oo n a fter t ha t many
on .
,

a story O f bu rgla r y robbery sw i nd li ng petty l arceny and , , , ,

every co nce i vab le crim e was re la t ed for th e amuse m e nt ,

o f t h e c ircle and the plot s an d co un terplots f t h ie v es

; o

a nd th i ef take rs raised th e won der f th e peas ants Larr

-
o . y

Hoga n was es pec ially de l ighted m ore pa r t icu larly whe n ;

so me t rick f e ith e r v il lany o r cu n n in g cam e
o out.
“ Now wo men a re t ro ub leso m e cattl e t o dea l w ith
,
”
m ostly sai d Goggi n s They ar e remarkab ly cu t e .
“ ’

fi rs t an d th e n t hey a r e s pi teful afte r an d for c i rcum

, ;
v ent i n i b way are s ha r p hands Y
’
e t er t hey do it . ou se e

qu iete r t ha n me n a man w i l l mak e a n o is e about it bu t

; ,

a woman does it all t h e sly There was B i ll M organ on .

— and a sharp fellow he was — a nd he h ad set h i s t oo

,

hea rt so m e si l v er spoons he u se d t o see down i n a

on

kitch e n w indy but t he se rv a nt maid s omehow ,

o t her -

,
or ,

suspec t ed t here was design s abo u t t h e p l ace and was o n ,

th e watch W ell on e n igh t w he n h w as a l l alon e

.
, , s e ,

s h heard a n o is e outside t h e wi ndy

e h ke pt as quie t , so s e

a s a mou se B y and by th e sash was attem p t ed t o be

.
- -

riz fro m t he ou ts ide so she l aid hold f a kit tle f bo il ,

o o

i ng wather and stood h id behi n d t he sh utter Th e .

w i ndy was now r iz a little an d a h an d a nd arm t h rust ,

in to t hrow u p the sash altogeth e r w h en t h e gi rl pou red ,

the boi ling wather down th e slee ve f B i ll s coat B il l o

’
.

ro a r ed wi th th e pai n whe n t h e gi rl said to h im laugh , ,

ing through t h e wi ndy

,
I b gb y cam e for ,
‘
t ou t ou

so meth ing .
’

“
That w as a cute gir l said Larry ch u c kling ’
, , .

Well now th at an i n sta nc e f woman s cl ev er

, ,
’
s o a
’

n ess i n pre v e nti ng I l l t each you f h e r d eter .

’
o ne o

m i n atio n to d iscover and prosecute t o co n v i ct io n a nd ;

i n th is case wha t makes i t cu riou s is that Jack Tat e
, ,

had do n e th e b wld t h ing and ru n t he g r ea t es t ris ks

o e st , ,
‘
t h e e m inen t dead ly as t h e poet say s whe n he w ,
’

,
as

don e u p at last by a feat h er bed -

.

“
A feathe r b e d rep e at e d Larry wond e ring h w a
-

,
”
,
o
 Ha n dy A n dy 46 7
fea t h e r b e d cou l d i nfl ue n ce t he fa te f a bo l d bu rglar
-
o ,

w h i le Goggi ns m istook h is e xc l am atio n f su rpris e t o o

s igni fy t he pa lt ri n e s s f t h e pri ze a n d t h e refore chim e d o ,

i n w i th hi m .

Q i t
i te ru e won de r y wo n d e r q u i t
no e b el ow ou —

a m a n f h i p l u c k b ut t he fac t w a sweethear t f
o s ; a s, o

hi wa s l ongi ng f
s a fea t her bed and Jac k determ ined
or -

to ge t i t Well h e march e d i nt o a hou se th e door f

.
, , o

w hich h e fou n d open and w en t p stairs a n d t oo k t h e ,

u -

bes t fea t her b e d i n t h e hou se t ied i t u p i n t he bes t q u i lt

-

, ,

c ra mm ed some ca ps and ribbo ns he saw l y ing abou t i n to

t he bu nd l e a nd m arc hed dow n stai rs agai n bu t y
,
-

; o u se e ,

i n ca rryi ng ff e ve n t h e s ma ll t hi n g f a fe a t h e r b e d
o o -

Jack sh owed t h e ski l l f high prac t itio n er for h e d e o a ,

d t he s t a irs bac kward s

”
sc e n dh e re .

Backward s sai d L arry wha t w tha t f ? , as or

by a n d by he de ”
Y 11 said Goggi n s
’
ou se e “
;
- -

sc e n dh d b ackwards wh e n sudde n ly h e heard a door

e re

o p e n ing a nd a f y m l v oi c e ex c l ai m W h e r e ar e y ou
,
a a e
,

go in g w i t h t ha t bed ? ’

“
I am go i n g p stairs w i t h i t ma am s ay s Jac k
‘ ’ ’
u -

, , ,

whose back ward pos i t io n f avo ur e d h i l i e a n d h e b e ga n s ,

t o wal k up aga i n .

C om e dow n h e r e said t h e l ady w e wan t b e ds ,

’
,
no

h ere m an, .
’

M r S u ll iv an ma am s ent m e ho me w ith i t h i mse l f

.
,
’

, ,
’

said Jack st ill mou nt ing t he sta i rs

, .

“
C o m e dow n I t el l you s aid t h e l ady i n a grea t
‘
, ,
’
,

rage . T here
‘
M r S u ll ivan l i v es here
’
s no
g f . o ou t o

t h i s w ith you r bed y st u p id fe l low ,

ou .
’

I beg yo ur pardon ma am say s J ack t u rn i ng rou n d

‘
,
’

,
’
, ,

a nd m arch ing ff w ith t he b e d fai r a nd aisy Well o .

,

t he re was a regu l ar sh illoo i n t h e ho use when t he t h i ng

w fo u nd an d cart ro pes wou ld h wld the l ady
’
as ou t , -
n t o

for t he rag e h w i n a t bei ng d idd l ed s e h o ff ered

as ; so s e

r e wards a nd t h e d ickens k n ow a l l ; and w ha t d y

, s o ou

t hin k a t l as t d i scov e re d poor J ac k ? o ur

46 8 Ha n dy A n dy ’

Th e swee t h eart maybe s aid Larry gri n n i ng in , , ,

ecstasy at t he tho ug h t o f h uman p e rfi dy .

“ No ” said
,
G oggin s h ono u r eve n among sweet
“
,

h e arts though they d o th e trick s o me t ime s I con fess ;

, ,

but n o woman o f any h onou r wou ld be t ray a grea t ma n

l ike Jac k No t was on e of the pa l try ribbon s that
’
.

bro ught con v iction home to h im ; t he wom an neve r los t

s ight o f hunt i ng u p e v ide nce about her feat h er bed and -

, ,

i n the end a r ibbon o u t o f o n e o f her caps set t led th e

,
”
hash of Jack Tate .

Fro m ro b b in g s t h ey wen t o n to tel l o f m u rde rs an d ,

at last that u nco mfort ab le sensat ion w hich people e x p e

r ic u ce after a feast of horrors began to per v ade the
pa r ty ; an d when ev er they looked roun d i be r e w as th e ,

co ffi n i n th e backgrou nd .

Th row so me t u r f on th e fire said Gogg ins t is , ,

’

burn ing l ow ; an d change the s ubject ; the t ragi c m use

has reign ed su fli c ie n t ly l ong — enough o f the dagger
and t h e bowl — si n k t he socks an d pu t o n the b uc k
ski ns Leather away J im — s ing u s a song
.
,
.

Wh at i s it t o be ? asked J im .

Oh t hat las t song o f t h e S olicitor

G oggi ns with a n air as i f th e S ol icito r General were h i s
,
-

part ic ular friend .

A bo ut the robbe ry ? i n qu i r e d J i m
”
.

To be s u re retu rn ed G oggin s
”
,
.

D ea r m e sa id Larry and would so grate a m an

”
, ,

as t h e So lic it h”o r G eneral d em an e hi mse l f by wr it in

-
’

about robbe rs ?
O h ! said Goggin s thos e in th e heavy professio n ,

o f the law m ust h a v e thei r little p ri va t e momen t s o f rol

l ic k z a t io n ; and t h en h igh men yo u se e l ike t o do a , ,

bit o f low by way o f v a r iety The Nigh t b efo re .

La r ry was st retch ed was d o ne by a b ish op they s ay ; ,

a n d Lord A ltamont s B ull by the Lord C h ie f J u stice ; ’ ’

an d t he S olicitor G e ne r al is as u p to fu n as any bi sho p

-

o f them all C ome J i m t i p us th e stav e

.
, ,

J im c leared his th roa t an d ob eyed h is chief .

4
70 Ha n dy A n dy
A pis l h h ld at q u ak r s h ad
to s e e the e
’
e

N w giv m y ur g ld
o I ll giv
e my l ad
e o o or
'
e
y ou e
’
T u d r saddl I hi k s a i d
is n e t he e t
,

n
y ou
’
,

H igh y th y th
.

d e o ! ea e e an na ee .

T he ms l h p d up h saddl b w
da e s e ri
p
’
t e e -
o

q u a k r w a s v r a q u a k r t i ll w
,

A nd t h e e ne e e no

A nd he sa w b h f a ir wi h d f y a bri d
t e o ne he s
’
or e

H is purs b r a w a y wi th a swagg ri g s t ri d
e o ne e n e,

A d h
n t th a t l k d t d r w l y d fi d
e ey e oo e en e no on e e

H igh y th y th
.

d e o ! ea e e an na ee .

T he spiri t d th
o mo v e me , fri d Br ad bri m q u th en o
’
o she

a k all this fil th t p a i fr m th
, ,

To t e
y em t t on o ee

Fo r d iv th
mmo n e c e e , a n d
Ma b au t is fl i g e
y eet n

A cc e pt r
f o m t h y ma a i d n a righ t l vi g gr t i g -
’
o n ee n

Fo r m c u h d h pr fit this q u a k r s m ti g
ot sh e o by e
’
ee n
,

H igh th y th
.

e o ! ea e e a n d na ee
y .

A hark j ll y q u a k r r sy d ly
nd o e so o an s

H av right us ss m r h a a w h i hi y
, ,

e eo ne o e t n enc n t ne e e,

D on t a ga i p pi g girl s b
’

go t s b a th n ee n
’
on ne e ne

R m mb r h that m
e e e t hah e one
y ou e t o n t he e t
,

a m y i mmy B a rl w I ll y ur t h
,

H
’
er n e s o te to o tee
H igh h d y h e o
y ea t e e an na t ee .

Fr ie n d s q u h q u a k r pra y l ist
J a me
’
ot t he e en to me ,
h u a st f r a gr at fav ur d y
Fo r t o c n
,

con e e o
,
’
e se e

g ld h u ha st a k is mi m f ri
T he o t o t en n ot ne
,

y en d
But m ma st r s d h I d p d
y e
’
— an on t ee e
,

en
,

To ma k i t a pp a r I m t rus t d i d d f d
e e
y e en

H igh th th e e
.

d e o ! y ea e e an na
y .

SO fi re a sh t s hr ugh m l h s h r
fe w o t o
y c ot e e e an d th e e,r
a k i t a pp a r w a s a p ra t a f a ir
,

To m d es
’ ’ ’
e e t e f .
 Ha n dy A n dy 47 1
8 J im h p pp d fi rs t t hr ugh h s k irt f h i
0 e o e at o t e o s co

A d th thr ugh h lla r q ui t l s hi t h a t

,

n en o is co e c o e to s ro

thr ugh my br ad bri m q u th E phra i m v

.

N w o on ce o o -
’
o I o e, t
H igh y h y th
, ,

d e o! ea t ee an na ee .

I hav bu t a bra s a i d b ld J im d th y sp t
e ce ,
‘
o an e
’
re en

I w t l ad aga i f a mak b l i v r
, ,

A nd
’ ‘
on o n or e e e e e nt

Th s a i d E phra i m pr d u i g b i pist l s j ust giv

-
.

’
‘
en , o c n : o e

My fi hu d r d p u d s b a k
ve n a s sur a s y l iv
e o n c — o r, e ou e,

I 11ma k f y ur b d y a ri ddl
’
e o si vo o e or e e

H igh th d y th e o y ea e e an na ee.

“ B a rl w w a s d i ddl d d th ugh h w a s ga m
J im o e an o e e,

w E phra i m s pis t l
,

H d adl y im in
’
e sa o so e a

That h gav up h g ld d h t k hi s ra p rs
e e t e o an e oo to
,

s c e

A wh h wh l s y g i t h p a p rs
nd en t e o e t or
,

ot n o t e e

Th y sa i d ha t
e ni t w m f
tb e t g k e ver
f
e r e no a t e ]: or
,

t ire ua err
’

H igh y th th
.

"
e o ! ea e e an d n a ee
y .

W ell I t a q uar e t hi ng y ’
s s hou l d b e s i ngi n a ou
’

so n g h e r e s ai d Larry H ogan abou t J i m B arl ow an d

, , ,

i
t
’
ov e r h a l f a m il e
s n ot f t h i s v e ry place he was out o
”
h anged .

I n d ee d ! e xc l aim e d a ll t h e m en a t o n c e look ing

“ ”
,

w ith grea t i n t eres t a t Lar y r .

I t t ruth I m t el l i ng y
“ ’
s
’
H e m ade a v ery b wld ou . o

robbery u p by t h e long h i l l t h e r e w gi l m for , on t o nt e en,

h e w m igh t y s t ou t
as .
”

Pluc k t h e back bo n e s aid Goggi ns

to -

,
.

Well he t u k t h e pu rses ff both

,
t h e m an d j u s t a 0
’
;
as he w as goi n a fther doi n t he sam e w ha t sho u ld
’
on
’

a ppear t he road befor e hi m b u t t wo other t rav el l e rs

on ,

co m ing u p forn i n s t h i m Wi t h t hat t h e m e n that w as .

robbed cried St op t hief ! and J im seci h im

ou t ,
’
so ,
u
’

self h e m m e d i n b th e fou r t hem fa ed h is hors e

e tu ne 0
’
,
c

t o t he d i t ch and t ook acros s t h e h y bu t t he c ou nt r ;

t h ll
ra v e was w el l m ou nte d
e rs w ell as h imse l f an d as ,

p w
o d h d af
e ret h e r hi m l i k e mad W ell i t w eq ua l t o .
,
as
4 72 Ha n dy A n dy
a ste e ple chase a mo st ; and J i m s e e in h e co ul d n o t
’

,
’

s h ake them o ff thought t h e best t hing he cou ld d o was

,

to cut out s om e troublesome w ork for t h em ; s o h e led

o ff wh ere he kn ew t h ere was the d i v il s o wn leap to
’

take and h e i nten ded to po u n d

,
1 the m there a nd b e
o ff
’
,

i n t h e man e tim e ; b u t as i ll l uc k wo uld hav e it h is ,

own ho rse th at w as as b o wld as hi mself an d w ou l d

, ,

ju m p at the moo n i f h e was faced to it m issed h is foo t ,

i n taki n O ff an d fell short 0 the l eap an d s l i pped h is

’

,
’

s h o u l d h e r and J i m hi mself h ad a bad fall o f it too and

, , ,

av c o o r s e it was all over wi d h i m — and u p cam e th e

,

fou r g in t le me n Well J i m had h i s pistols y et a nd h e

.
, ,

pull ed them o u t and swo r e he d shoot th e firs t ma n

,
’

that attem pted to t ake h i m ; b ut t h e g int le me n h ad

pi stols as well as h e a nd we re so h ot o n the chase they ,

dete r mined to ha v e him and close d o n h i m J i m fir ed , .

an d k illed o n e o them ; b ut he got a bal l in the shou l

’

d her h i msel f fro m a nother an d he w as ta ke n J i m

, , .

s t hr u v to s hoot hi msel f w ith h is secon d pistol but it ,

m issed fire ‘ The cu rs e o the road is on me said

.
’

,
’

J im ; my pistol m issed fi re a nd my horse s l ipped h i s

‘
,

s h o u ld h e r an d n ow I ll be sc ragged s ay s he bu t i t s
’ ’ ’

, , ,

I v e k i lled o n e o ye s ays h e
”
n o t for noth ing — ’ ’ ’

, .

H e was all plu ck said G oggi n s

”
, .

“
D e sperate o w said Larry W el l h e wa s
b l d “
, .
,

t h rie d and c o n d i mn e d a v coar se and was hanged as , ,

I tel l you half a mi le o ut 0 th is v ery p l ace wh er e

,
’

we are sitt i n a n d h is appearance walks t hey s ay

’

, , ,

e v er S i nce ”
.

“
Yo u do n t say s o said Goggi ns
’
.

’
Faith i t s t h ru e
,
ans we r ed Larry
’
.

“
You ne v er s aw it said Goggi ns , .

Th e Lo rd forb id ! ”
r e turn ed L arry ; “
b ut it s ’

t h ru e , for al l t ha t Fo r yo u se e the big ho use n ear

.

th is barn th a t is al l i n ru i n was d e s a rt e d because J i m s

, ,
’

ghos t us e d to walk ”
.

1 I mp o u n d .
474 Ha n dy A n dy
“ Ju s t t o show y ho w littl e I m afeardou sai d ’

G oggins with a swaggering ai r I l l s ing a nother

, ,
“ ’

son g abou t J immy Ba rlow .

”

Yo u d better not said Lar ry H oga n

’

,
”
Let hi m .

r e s t i n pace ! ”

”
Fu dge ! s aid Goggins .
“ Wi ll you jo i n c ho ru s ,

J im
I will said J i m fi e rc e ly
, ,
.

W e 11 all join sai d the men (exce p t Larry ) who

’ ”
, ,

felt it wou l d b e a so rt o f r e lief to b ul l y away t h e

supern atu ra l terror whic h h ung ro und t heir hearts after
th e ghost story by the sou n d o f their o wn v o ices .

“
T h e n here goes ! said Goggin s wh o start ed a n
”
,

ot h e r long ballad about J i mmy Barlow in the O p e n ,

i ng o f w h ich all jo in e d It ra n as fo l lows : .

My n am it
is J i mmy B a l w
e r o

I w a s b r i h w f Ca rl w
,

o n n t e to n o o

A h r I li i h Ma ry b r ugh ja i l
nd e e e n t e o o
,

ll f A bbi g f Wi k l w ma i l
o r t h e ro n o t he c o
,

d ri ddl d
.

F l l o de ro de ro l e e -
i o

A s i t wou ld be t i resom e to follow t h is ballad through

all i ts length br e adt h an d th ickn ess we shal l lea v e
, , ,

t h e s i nge r s e ngaged i n their c h o rus w h ile we cal l th e ,

reader s att en tion to a mo r e i nterest in g pe r son t ha n

’

M ister Goggin s or J i m my Barlow .

 C HAP T E R XX X V I I

H EN Edward O C o n n o r had h u rried fro m th e

’

b uria l place h e t hr e w h i mse l f i n to h is sadd le

-

, ,

an d urged his horse t o s peed anx io us t o fly th e s pot

,

where his feeli ngs had bee n so ha rrowed ; a n d as he

sw ep t a l ong th rough t he co l d n igh t w in d w hi c h began
t o ri se i n gu sty fi t s a nd how led pas t hi m t here w as
, ,

i n the v i ole nce o f h is rapid mot ion som et hi ng c o n

geni al to th e fi e rc e caree r o f pa in fu l thoug hts whic h
chased each o t her t hrough h i s heated brai n H e co n .

t in u e d t o t rav e l a t th is rapi d pace s o abso rbed i n

,

b it t er refl ectio n a s to be q ui te i n sen s ib l e t o extern al

i m pres s io ns an d h e k n ew no t h ow far n or how fas t
,

h e was goi ng tho ugh the h eavy brea t h ing o f his ho rs e

,

a t any ot h er t i me wou ld have been s ig na l su ffi cien t to

draw t he re i n ; bu t s t i ll b e p ressed o n wa rd an d s t ill th e
,

storm i n c reased and each acc l i v i ty was to pped b u t to

,

sweep dow n the succ eed i ng slo pe a t t h e sa m e d e s

pe r ate p ace H i t h erto t he road ov er wh i c h h e p u r
.

sued h i s fleet career lay thro ugh a n o pe n cou n t ry an d ,

th ough the s hade s o f a stormy n igh t h ung abo v e it ,

t he horse c ou ld m ake h i s way i n safety through t he

gloo m ; b u t no w th ey approa c h ed an o l d road whic h
s ki r ted an anc ie n t do ma i n whose venerable t rees t hrew
,

t hei r arms acros s the old cau seway and adde d t he i r ,

shadow s t o fh e dark ness o f the n ig h t .

M any and ma ny a t i me had Edward ridden i n the

so ft su mmer u nder th e g r een shad e o f th ese v ery t rees ,

i n com pany with Fa nn y D awson hi s gu i ltl es s h eart fu l l

,

of ho pe an d lo v e ; perhap s i t was th is v ery thou gh t

47 6 Ha n dy A n dy
crossi ng h is m ind at t he m ome n t wh i ch made h is
p r ese nt c i r c u mstan ces t h e mo r e o ppress i v e H e was .

gu iltless n o lo nge r he rod e n ot i n happ ines s w it h t he

woman he adored u nder the so ft s hade of su mmer t rees ,

b u t heard the w i ntry wi nd h ow l t hr oug h t h eir leafless

b ough s as he h u r r ied i n madden ed s peed beneath them ,

a nd hea r d i n t h e d ism al sound but an ec ho o f the v oice

o f re morse wh ich w as ringing th rough h is heart Th e .

darknes s wa s i ntense fro m t h e c anopy o f o ld oaks

wh ich ov e rhu ng t he ro ad bu t sti ll t he hors e was u rged
,

through th e da rk ra v in e at speed though one m ight n ot ,

se e a n arm s length be fo r e F e a rle s sly i t was pe r form ed

’
.
,

t hough e ver and ano n as th e t rees swun g about thei r

,

hea v y bran ch e s i n the sto rm sm aller portion s o f t he

,

boughs wer e sn ap ped O ff an d fl u ng i n t he faces o f the

horse and th e rider who s ti l l s pu rred and p l ashed h is
,

head long way t hrough t h e heavy road be neath E me rg .

i ng at lengt h from t h e d eep an d o v ershad ow e d valley ,

a steep h ill ra ised its c r est i n ad v an ce but sti ll u p the ,

s t ony accli v ity the feet o f the m ettled steed rattled

rap id ly and flashed fi re from t h e flin t y path A s t h ey
, .

approached the top o f t h e h ill t he fo rce o f the sto r m ,

became m ore ap parent ; an d o n reachin g its c rest th e ,

fie rc e pelti ng of t h e m ingl ed rai n and h ai l made the

horse i m patie n t o f the sto rm o f w h ic h h is ride r was
h eedless — al mos t u n conscious T h e s pen t a ni mal w it h
.

s hort s no r tings beto ken ed h is labou r and shook h is h ead ,

pass io nately as t h e fierc e hai l shower st ru ck h i m i n t h e

-

eyes a n d nostrils S t ill how e ve r was he urg e d dow n

.
, ,

ward bu t he was n o longer safe (b ite b lown an d

, .
,

p ressed o v e r a rough descen t t he generous c reatu r e , ,

that would d ie rathe r t han refuse made a false step a nd , ,

came hea v i ly to the g r ou n d Edward was stun ned by

.

th e fall thoug h n ot se r ious ly h u rt ; and after the lapse

, ,

o f a f e w seco nd s reco v e red h is feet bu t fou n d the

, ,

ho rse s till prost r ate Taki ng t h e an i mal by the h ead

.
,

he assisted hi m to ri se wh ic h he was no t en abled to d o

,
47 8 Ha n dy A n dy
o ffi ce belongin g t o t h e gen e ral pi l e wh i ch s e em e d i n
,

a ruin ous co ndit io n .

A s he approac hed Edward hea r d rud e sou n ds f ,

o

merri ment a mongst which the j oi n i ng f many v o ices

,
o

in a “raw c horus ind ica te d that a carouse w as

re c -

going forward w i th in .

O n reach i ng t h e door h e co u l d pe rc e iv e t h rough a

wi de c h i n k a g r ou p f m en sitti ng rou n d a tu r f fire o

pi led a t th e far en d f t he bu ildi ng wh ich had n o o ,

fire -
place and th e s moke cu r l in g u pwards t o t h e roo f
, , ,

wrea t hed the rafters i n s moke beneath th i s v apou ry ;

can opy t h e pa rty sa t d ri n k ing an d sing ing and Edwa r d , ,

ere he kn o cked for ad mi t tanc e l ist e n e d to th e fo l lowing ,

s t range refr ai n
For m n a me i t i s 7 i mm B a r l ow ,
y y
I w a s b or n i n t h e t ow n of a r l ow , C
A n d h e r e I l ie i n M a ry b or oug /z j a i l ,
A ll j b r t /z e r ob bi ng of t h e W ckl ow ma il i .

Fol d e r ol d e r id d l e i d d l e i d o - -

The n the p r i nci pal s inger t oo k u p th e song w hich ,

seemed to be one of rob be r y blood an d mu rder for i t , , ,

ran th us
Th en k d h pist l ga i ly
he co c e is o

d st d b f r m brav l y
,

A n oo e o e hi e

m k is m d sir ,

S ofi e a nd re
y e e,

So b la a way my ga m k s quir
z e , e coc
-
e .

For m y n a me it i s j i mmy B a r l or
w,
I w a s b or n fi e .

Edward O Co n n o r knocked a t the doo r l oud l y ; t he

’

word s h e h ad j ust h ea r d abou t “ p istol s ” “

blaz ing ,

away and las t of al l squ ir e fe l l g rat i ngly o n hi s

”
,
“
,
”
, ,

c a r at t h at moment an d seem ed strangely to con n ec t

,

t h emselv es w ith t h e pre v ious ad vent u r es o f t h e n ight

and h is own sa d thoughts an d he bea t agai n st t he d oor ,

wit h v iolence .

Th e c h orus ceased Edwa rd repea te d his knock i ng .

 Ha n dy A n dy 47 9
S t i ll t h e r e was no a n s wer bu t h e h e ard l ow an d ;
h urried m u tt e ring i ns ide D eterm i ned ho w e ver to gai n
.
, ,

ad mi ttan ce Edward l a id ho l d f an iro n hasp o uts ide

,
o

t he door w h ic h en ab l ed h i m t o s hake t he gate wi t h

,

v iolen ce t ha t t he r e m igh t be n o exc use

,
t h e p ar t f on o

t h e in ma t es t h a t they d i d hear b u t i n th u s making

n ot ;
t he ld door ra tt le i n its fram e it s udden ly y ielded t o his
o ,

t ouc h an d cr e aked open i rusty h inges for w h n on ts ; e

L arry H oga n had e n te red i t h ad be e n fo r gotten t o b e ,

barred .

A s E d ward s t oo d i n t h e O p en doo rw ay t h e firs t ,

objec t w hi ch m et h is e y e was t h e ffi an d i t i s co n

im poss ib l e y h w m uc
t o sa h a t tha
o t m o ment t he sigh t
s hocked h i m h e sh uddered in v olu n t ari ly ye t cou l d
; ,
n ot

w ithdraw hi eyes from t h e r e v olt ing objec t and t h e

s ;
pa l l or wi h wh i h h i prev i ou s m enta l anx iety had i n v ested
'

t c s

h is ch e ek increased as he l ooked th i s l as t t ene men t on

o f m ortal ity Am I t o
. noth i n g bu t t h e e v ide n ces
se e

f dea t h s do i ng t h i s n igh t ? was t h e men t al q u est io n

’ ”
o

wh ich sho t t hrough Edward s over w rough t b rai n a nd ’

-

he grew l iv id a t t he t hough t H e l oo ked mor e l i k e . one

rai sed fro m t he grav e t ha n a l iv ing bei n g an d a w i l d ,

glare in hi e y es rend ered h is a pp e aran c e s t i l l mor e

s

u ne art h ly . H fe l t th a t sh am e wh ic h men alway s

e

ex perience i n a l l ow i ng thei r fe e li ngs t o ov e rcom e t h em

and by a grea t e ff o rt h e m as te red h i emo t io n and s poke s ,

bu t t h e v oi ce part oo k f t he s t rong n er v o us exci t em en t

o

u n der w h ic h h e labou r e d a n d w hol low an d bro k e n ,

as ,

and se e med mor e li ke t ha t w hi ch migh t fan cy t o o ne

proceed fro m t he j aws f a sepu lch re t h an o f fl esh one o

and b lood B ea t en by t he storm

. h i s hair hu ng i n ,
t oo,
we t fl ak e s ov e r h i s face a n d add ed h is w ild appearance to ,

so t ha t t h e m e n a ll s t arted u p a t the firs t g li m pse they

c augh t f h im an d hudd l ed t h e mselv e s t ogether i n t h e
o ,

farth e s t co rn e r f t he b ui l d ing fro m wh ence they e yed

o ,

h i m wi t h ev i d e n t a l arm .

Edward t hough t so m e wh isky m igh t ch e ck t h e feel i ng

480 Ha n dy A n dy
o f fa i n t ness w h ich o v ercame him a nd though h e d ee med ;
i t probable h e h ad broken i n u po n t he n octu rn al r e v e l
o f des pe r ate a n d lawless m en h e n e v e r the l e ss asked t h em
,

to g i v e hi m som e b ut i nstead f d isplay ing t ha t alac r ity

; o

so uni v ersa l i n I reland f shari ng t h e creature wi t h

,
o “

a new com e r th e men only po inted to t he bott le whic h

-

stood bes id e the fir e and drew c l oser together

, .

Edwa rd s des ire for t h e sti mu l a t was

’
great that n so ,

he sca r cely n ot iced t he si ngu lar wan t f cou rtesy the o on

part o f the m en a n d seiz i ng the b ottl e (for t h ere wa s

;
n o glass ) h e put it to h is lips and q ua ff ed a hearty d ra m
, ,

o f the spi rit be fore he spoke .

“
I m us t ask for sh elter an d ass istance h ere said ,

Edward M y ho rse I fear has s l ipped h is s hou l

, ,

der
B e for e h e cou l d utte r an ot her wo r d a si m ultaneous ,

roar f terror burst from t h e grou p they fanci ed th e

o ;
ghos t f J i mmy Ba rl ow was before the m a nd made a
o ,

s i mu l t aneou s rush fr om th e barn an d w he n t h ey saw ;

the hors e at th e doo r a nothe r ye ll e scaped them as they
, ,

fl ed with i ncreased speed and terro r Edwa r d stood .

i n amazem en t as the men rushed from h is p r es ence ;

h e fo llowed to t h e gate to recall them they w e r e gone ;
h e c ou ld o n ly hear thei r yells i n t h e d istan e The c .

c ircu m s t an ce seemed q u it e u n accoun tabl e and as he ;

s t ood lost i n v ai n s u rm ises as to t h e cause f th e strange o

occ u r r ence a l ow n eig h f recogn it io n fr o m t h e horse

,
o

remi nded him f the ani mal s w ants and he l ed h i m i nto

o
’

t h e barn w h e re from the p lenty f s t raw wh ich l

, ,
o ay

arou nd h e shook dow n a litter where the mai med an i mal

,

might rest .

H e th en paced p an d dow n t he barn lost i n wond er

u ,

a t the cond uct f t hose w ho m h e fou nd th e re and w hom

o ,

his p r esen ce had sudden ly ex pelled and e v er

so he ; as

walked towards t h e fi re the fli caught h is eye

,
As co n .

a fi f l blaze occasi onally a r ose i t flashed u po n t h e plate

t u , ,

w hic h b r igh tly refl ected th e flam e and Edwa r d was ,

482 Ha n dy A n dy
fore m uc h wond e r aros e tha t n o v e stig e o f t h e bones
o f the o r se it was su pposed t o co ntai n sho ul d be d i s
c

covered Wo nder i ncreased t o h o rr or as t h e st range

.

fact w as p ro mulgated a nd i n the r eady c r edu l ity of a

,

su perstitiou s people t h e te rrible beli ef becam e genera l

, ,

t h at h is sab le m ajesty had m ad e ff w ith O G dy a nd o

’
ra

t he party watching h im for as t he D ubli n bai li ff s n e v er

;
s t opped t ill they g bac k to t own and wer e n eve r seen
ot ,

again i n th e country i t was most n atu ral t o su ppose

,

that t h e dev i l had m ade a h au l o f b m a t t h e sam e ti me

t e .

I n a few days ru mou r ad ded the s pectral appea r ance

o f J im B arlo w to t h e tale wh ich on ly deepened it s
,

my steriou s horror an d t hough after some i m h t ru e

; ,
t e, t e

sto ry w as prom u lgat e d by t hose who kn ew th e real state

o f t h e case ye t t he t rut h ne v er gai n ed g rou nd and was
, ,

cons id ered but a c lever sh am attem pted by the fam ily

,

to p r e v en t s o d r e ad fu l a sto r y fr o m attac h i ng to thei r

hou se a nd t radi t ion p e rpetuates t o thi s hou r the belie f
;
that t b e d e vil fle w a way wit b 0 Gr a dy ’
.

Lo ne an d shu n ned as t he h i ll w as where the rui ned

hou se stood it becam e more lon e an d sh u n ned t han ev er
, ,

and t h e b oldes t hea r t i n the w hole cou nt ry s ide would -

quail to be i n i t s v icin ity e ve n i n th e d ay t im e To

,
-
.

s u ch a pi t ch the pan ic rose t ha t an ext e ns i v e fa rm wh i ch

,

enc i rcled it and b e longed t o th e o ld us urer w h o made

,

the seizu re fe ll into a p ro fi t le ss state fro m the imp o s s i

,

b ilit y of me n being fou nd t o work u pon it I t was u se .

less even as pastu r e fo r n o o n e cou ld be fo un d to herd

,

cattle u pon i t ; altoge t h e r it was a se r io us l oss t o t h e

mo ney grubber ; a nd s o far t h e i n ciden t o f the bu rn t
-

barn an d the t r ad ition i t gav e ri se t o ac t ed beneficially

, ,

i n m aki n g t he i n h um a n ac t o f w arri n g wi t h t h e d e ad
r e co i l u pon t h e m e rci less o ld u surer .
 C HAPTE R XXX V I I I
E le ft A n dy in w ha t m ay be ca l l e d a d el i ca te
s itua t io n a nd t hough A n dy s p e rcep t io ns f t he
,
’
o

r e fi n ed wer e v ery acu t e h e h im self began

not wond e r , to
h w h e should ge t
o f t he d i lem m a i n t o w hic h c ir
ou t o

cu m had t hrow n h im and ev en t o h i d u l l m

st a n c e s ; s co

prehens io n variou s te rm i n a t io ns to h i ad v e n t ure s

suggested t hem s el ves t il l he bec am e qu i t e con fu s e d i n

,

the c haos w h ic h h is w tho ugh t s c rea t ed O n e good o n .

idea h owe v e r A ndy co nt rived t o l ay h o l d o f

, , f t he out o

b u nd le wh ich perplexe d hi m he fe l t t h at t o gai n t ime ;

wo u ld be an ad v an t age a nd i f ev i l m u s t com e f h i , o s

adve n t ure t he lo nger he cou ld k e e p i t ff t he b e tte r ;

, o so

h e ke pt u p hi a ff ecta t io n f t i m i d ity a nd put i n h i sobs

s o , s

an d l am e n t at io n s l i ke m any co m m as and colo n s a s

, so ,

i t were t o prev ent B ridg et fro m arri v i ng a t h e r cl im ax

,

o f go i ng bed to .

Bri dge t i nsi s t ed b e d was t h e fi n e s t t h ing i n t h e w orld

fo r a you ng wom an i n d i s t r e ss f m ind o .

A ndy prot e s t ed he n ev er cou l d ge t a w in k f s l eep o

w hen hi m in d w u n e asy B ridge t pro m ised t h e m os t

s as .

s is te rly te nder n ess .

A n dy answered by a l am e n t fo r hi s mo t h er .

Co me t o b ed I t e ll yo u sa id B ridget , ,
”
.

A r e th e shee t s a ir e d sobbed A ndy .

Wh a t ! e xc la im e d B ridget i n am az em en t
”
,
.

I f you a re su r e f t he shee t s b ei n ai r e d said

not o
’

A n dy I d b e afeard f
,
“ ’
hi wld o c at c n
’
co .
”

S h e et s ind e ed said B rid g et ; fai t h i t a dai nt y

,
’

,
’
s

l ady y are i f y ca n t s lee p wi t hou t sh eet s

ou , ou
’ ”
.
 Ha n dy A n dy
Wha t l r e t urned Andy no s h eet s ,
”
D i ll a s heet
v .

O h mother m other ! exc l a i med A n dy

, ,
wh a t ”
,
“

would yo u y to yo u r i n noc e nt ch i ld being tu k away

sa

t o a place wh e re t here was n o s h e ets ? ”

Wel l I n ever h d th e like ! say s B ridge t

,
eer
”
.

O h th e v i llai ns ! to bring m e wh er e I wou l d n t

,
’

h av e a bit clane l i ne to li e i n !
0
’
n
”

S u re there bla nkets I te ll y

,
’
s ,
ou .

O h d on t t alk to me ! roared A ndy

,
’
sur e y ou ”
; ,

k now sheets is on ly d
,
ace n t .

Both er gi r l ! Is a s n ug woo l ly b l an k et a fin e
,
’
n t

thin g ?”
“ O h don t b rak e my h eart tha t way ! s obb e d
,
’
-
a -

A ndy ; sure there s wool o n any d irty she e p s back

“
,
’ ’

bu t l i n e n i s d y ! O h mothe r moth e r i f y o u
ac e n c , , ,

t ho ugh t you r poor gi r l was w ithou t a sh eet th is

n ight !
A nd s o A ndy w e n t Sp i n n i ng h is bit f l in en o n, o

man u factu re as long as he cou ld and rai sing B ridget s ,

’

wonder t hat in stead o f th e lament wh i ch abd u cted

,

l ad ies gene ral ly rais e abou t their v a rt u e th i s you ng

”
,

woman s p r i n ci pa l com plai n t a r ose o n the scarcity o f

’

fl ax B ridget a ppeal ed to co mmon sense i f bla nkets

.

we re n o t good enough i n t hese bad t i mes ; i ns isting ,

m oreover t h at as lo v e was warmer than fri e ndsh ip

,
“
, ,

s o woo l was warmer t ha n fl ax t h e beauty o f which

”
,

pa r alle l case n ev e rt he l ess failed to reco nc i le th e d isco n

so l ate abd ucted Now A ndy had pu sh ed hi s p l ea o f
.

th e wan t of li n e n as far as h e t hough t it wou l d go ,

and wh e n Bridge t retu rned t o t he c ha rg e and re i t erated ,

th e o ft repea t ed Com e to bed I tell y o u

-
A ndy had ,

r e course to t widd ling abou t h i s t oes and chattering his ,

teeth a n d ex c l ai med i n a tremu l ous v oice O h I v e a

, , ,
’

t h rimb lin al l ove r m e !

’ ”

“ Loos e n the
s t h r in s 0 you th en said B ridge t abou t ’

g , , ,

t o s u i t th e acti o n t o t h e word .
48 6 Ha n dy A n dy
for h is po t at ions ad ded to h i s nocturnal excu rs ion
, ,

t ended t oward s somn olency ; but the d esire of escape ,

and fear of a d isco v e ry an d i ts c onsequ en ces p r e v ailed ,

o v er t h e o rd in a ry ten dency of nat ure an d he remai ned ,

awak e watc h ing eve ry sou nd Th e silence at last b e

,
.

c ame pai n fu l — s o sti ll was it t h at he cou l d hear t he ,

s mall c rumbl i ng soun d o f t he dy i ng embers as they

decom posed a nd s h ifted thei r posit io n o n the heart h ,

an d yet h e co ul d n ot b e satis fi ed fro m the b r eath ing

o f t h e woman t h at she s l ept A fter the l ap se o f half
.

a n h ou r howe v er he v en tu re d to m ak e so me m o v e
, ,

m ent H e had we l l obse r ved the q ua r ter i n wh ich the

.

out let fr o m th e c a v e l ay and there was sti ll a fain t

,

gl immer from t h e fi r e to ass ist h i m i n c r awling towa r d s

t h e tra p It was a reli ef when after some m inutes o f
.
,

c auti ou s creepi ng he felt the fre sh ai r b r eat h ing from

,

abo v e an d a mom ent o r two m o r e b rought hi m i n

,

cont act w ith the ladder Wi th t he stealt h of a ca t

.

he began to c limb th e ru ngs — h e cou ld h ear t h e men

s noring o n the ou ts ide O f the ca v e : step by step as he
arose h e fe lt h is h eart bea t faster a t t he thoug h t of
esca pe and became m o r e cautiou s
,
A t l ength his .

h ead emerged from t he ca v e aud h e s aw t h e me n ,

ly in g about i ts mouth ; t h ey lay close arou nd it — h e

m u st ste p o v er th em to escape t he ch an c e i s fearfu l ,

but h e determ in es to at t empt i t h e ascends still h ighe r

h i s foot is on the last ru ng o f th e ladde r — the next
step puts h i m on th e h eath er — when h e feel s a h an d
lay h old o f h i m from below !
H is h eart died w it hi n h i m a t the t ouch an d he cou ld ,

n ot resist an excl am atio n .

“
W h o s t h at ’
exc l ai m e d o n e o f th e me n o u tside .

A ndy crou ched .

Co m e down said th e v oi ce softly fro m be l ow ; i f

,
“

Jac k sees you it wi ll be wo r se for you

,
.

I t was the v o ice o f B r idget and A n dy fe lt i t was ,

be t te r t o be w ith h er than e x posed to t h e savagery o f

 Ha n dy A n dy 48 7
S ha n M or e a nd h i s myrm ido n s h e d e sc en d e d q u i et ly
; so ,

and gav e hi mse lf u p t o t he t igh t ho ld f Bridg e t w ho

o , ,

wit h ma ny assev e ra t ion s t hat out o f her a rm s sh e wou ld

n o t le t t h e pri son e r g t i l l mor n ing le d h i m back t o t h e
o
”
,

cav e.
 G re a t wi t t o mad e ss is all i d
n ne a rl y e

A nd t h i n p a rt i t i o n s d
h b u d s d ivi d
,

o t e o n e .

O s i ngs th e poet b ut whether t h e w it be gr e a t

S little t he th in pa rt iti on separati ng mad n ess
; or
“ ”
,

from san ity i eq ua l ly myst eriou s I t is t ru e that th e

s .

exci tab ility attendant u po n gen i us approx im at e s so closely

t o m ad ness that i t is somet imes d i ffi cu lt t o d ist ingu ish
,

be t ween t hem bu t w ithou t t he attendan t gen ius to

; ,
“ ”

ho ld u p t he t rain o f madn ess a nd call for ou r spec i l

,
a

permiss ion an d res p e ct i n any f its fantasti c excu rs ions

o ,

the most ordin ary crack —brai n so met imes c hoos es to

Spo r t i n the regi ons of sanity and wi thout t h e l icense
, ,

w h ich gen ius i s su ppos ed to dispense to h e r hi ldren c ,

poach o v er the p rese rv es f comm on sen se Thi s i s

o .

a well kn ow n fact an d would not be reite r ated here b ut

-

, ,

t hat the c ircu m stances about t o be recorded hereafte r

migh t see m u nwo rt hy o f bel ief and as th e veracity f ; o

o u r history we wou ld ha v e for o n e moment ques

n ot

i
t one ,
d we ha v e v en t u red t o j og the memory of ou r
reade r s a s to th e c lose neighbourhood f mad ness an d o

commo n sen se be fore we record a cu rious i nstance f

,
o

i n t e rmitting mad ness i n t he ld dowager O G dy o

’
ra .

H er son s d ea t h had by the v iolenc e f the Shock

’

,
o ,

d ragged her from the regio n f fi ction i n w h ich h o s e

hab itually e x is t ed but after th e funeral She relapsed i nto

;
al l her strange aberrati on and h e r b ird clock and h er
,
-

ch i mney pot h ead dress were onc e more i n requis ition

- -
.

T he old lady had her u sual atte ndance fro m h e r

 4 90 Ha n dy A n dy
fl oo r a n d l ev elli ng t he pis t ol a t her w r e fl ec t io n
,
o n

w ith i n it as i f h w e r e engaged i n morta l combat an d

,
s e ;
e very t im e s he s na pped a nd bu r ned prim ing h would s e

e xclai m I h it h i m t ha t t i me — I know I can ki l l h i m

,
“

— mbl
tre ill i e, v a n I

A l ong as th i s pis t ol pract ice had the charm f

S o

no ve lty for Ra tt y i t was al l ery w e ll b ut w hen day

,
v ; ,

by day t h e strang e m istakes an d n e rvous ness f his

,
o

g ra d mam m a b e came l e ss p iqu an t from repeti t ion i t

n ,

was no t suc h good fu n and whe n th e rantipole boy ; ,

a ft e r as mu ch t i m e as h e wished dev o t e to t he ld to o

wo man s caprice e ndeavoured

’
e manci pa te h i msel f
,
to
a nd was cou nterman ded a n ou t b urs t f 0b b b ,
o ,
ot er !

wo uld t ak e place ti ll the grandmoth er c al le d u p t he

,

prospect iv e sh illings t o hi s v iew an d Ratty bow e d befo re ,

th e altar of M am mo n B u t e v en M am mo n fai l ed to .

keep Rat t y l oya l f t h at heathen god M om u s c l a i m ed

; or , ,

a su pe r ior allegiance Ra tt y worshi p ped t he cap and ;

“

be ll s as the true c rown and th e bau ble as t he

”
,
“

sov e reign sceptre B esides t he s e cre t became t roub le

.
,

some t o hi m and h e d etermi ned to l e t t he w hole h ou se

,

k no w wh at gran and he we r e about i n a way f h i s , o

o w n .

Th e you ng im p i n t he n ex t day s prac t ic e worked

,
’

u
p t he gran d mam m a to a Sta te f great exc itemen t o ,

u rging her t o t ake a coo l an d d e t erm in ed ai m at t h e

— ”
looki ng glass Cove r h i m wel l gran said Ratty
.
, , .

I will said t he d owager resol ute l y

“
,
”
, .

Yo u ough t
“ b e ab le t o hi t h i m a t i pac e s
to s x .

I stand a t t we l ve pace s
“
.
”

No yo u are o n ly S ix from t he look i ng g l ass

— -
.

B ut t h e refl ec t ion c hi l d i n t h e mirror doub le s t he

, , ,

d is t anc e .

Both e r ! said Ra tt y
“ ”
Here t ak e t h e p is t o l .
“
,

m i nd you r e y e and do n t w in k ’
.
”

Ratty you are s ingu l arly ob t us e

,
t h e charms o f to
s c en ce
i .
 Ha n dy A n dy 49 1

W ha t sc i e nce ? said Ratty

’
s
”
.

S cien c e c hi ld i s kn ow le dge o f a l ofty a n d abs t ruse

, ,

n a t u re d eve lo pi ng itself i n w ond erfu l i nv”en t ion s — gu n

,

powder f o r i ns t ance i s m ad e by sc ie nce

, ,
.

“ I nd eed i t i s n t ” s aid Ratty ; I ne v e r sa w h is

“
o ,

n am e o n a ca nist er Pigo u A ndr e w a n d Wi lks or .

, , ,

M is t er D ar t fo rd M i lls a re t he m en for gu n powd e r ,

.

Y o u k n ow n oth i ng abou t it g ran

”
.
,
“ Rat t y you are d i srespectfu l and w il l not l iste n t o
, ,

i ns t ruc t io n I k new K irwa n — t he g rea t K i rwan t h e

.
,

che m ist w ho always wo re h is hat

,
“ T he n h e kn e w chemistry b et ter t h an m an ners .

Ra tt y y o u ar e v ery troub l esom e I d es ire y ou

,
.

lis t en si r K irwan sir t old me a ll abou t sc i e nce an d

,
.
, , ,

the D ubli n S oc i et y hav e h is p ic t u r e wit h a bot tle i n h is ,

h an d
The n he was fo n d o f d ri n k sai d Rat t y ,
.

Ra tty d on t be p e rt T o co me bac k t o wha t I was

,
’
.

origi na l ly say i n g — I rep e a t sir I am a t t w el ve p aces , ,

from my object six from th e m i rror w hich do ub l ed by

, , ,

r e flec t ion makes t w el ve ; s uc h i s t he l aw o f o p t ics I

,
.

Suppose y o u kn ow wh at opti cs ar e ? ”

“ T o b e s ure I d o ”
.

T el l me th e n ”
,
.

O u r ey e s said Ra tt y
”
, .

Ey e s ! exc la i med t he o ld l ady i n a m az e

”
,
.

“
To b e su re answ e red Ra t ty boldly “ D id n t I
”
, ,
.
’

hear t h e o ld b l in d man a t t h e fai r aski ng chari ty f o r ‘

t h e loss o f h is b l essed o p t ics ? ’

O h w ha t l am ent able ign oran ce my c hi l d ! e x

, ,

c l ai med the old l ady Yo ur t u t o r ought t o be asham ed

.

o f h im se l f
”
.

“
S o he is said Ra tty H e h as n t had a pai r o f
,
“
.
’

ne w breech e s f o r the l as t sev en y ears an d h e hid es h im ,

s el f wh e n e v er h e s e es mam ma o r the g irl s .

O h y o u ig n oran t c h i l d ! In d e ed Ra tt y my l ov e
, , , ,

o u mus t s t udy I w il l gi v e y o u th e r en ow n e d K irwan s ’

y .
4 92 Ha n dy A n d y
book C harlo tt e t ore som e f i t f cu r l papers b ut
. o or ;
t h ere en ough left to en lighte n you w i t h th e su n s rays
’
S
’

and reflect io n an d refraction

I k now w ha t b is said Ra tty t at ,
”
.

W h at ? ”

Refr act ion .

“ A nd w h at is I t dear ? ”

B ad be h a v iou r said Ratty , .

O h H e a v en s ! exc la imed h i s grandmother

,
”
.

“ Yes i t i said Ratty stoutly

,
s,
”
th e t utor says I m , ;
’

refractory w hen I b e have i ll a nd h e kn ows Lat i n better ;

t han you .
”

Ratty Ratty ! yo u ar e h op e l e s s ! e x clai med hi s

,
”

g rand mamm a .

“
N I am n ot
O, said R a tt y I m alway s l p i g
,
.
“ ’
oo n .

An d I hope U n c le Rober t wi ll break h i s n ec k some d ay ,

an d lea v e u s h is mon ey .
”

The old woma n t u rned p h e r ey e s and exclaimed u , ,

Y ouwicked boy
Fudg e sa id Ratty he an ld s h av er and w e ;
’
s o ,

wan t i t and i ndeed gra yo u ought to gi v e m e te n

; ,
n,

s hill i ngs for t en days teach ing now and t here a fair ’

, ;
’
s

n ex t week and I w an t to buy th i ngs

,
.

Ratty I tol d y ou w hen y ou m ade me perfec t i n t he

,

use of my weapon I would pay y My p r omise i s ou .

sacred an d I w i ll obser v e i t w ith that scru pu lo us h onou r

,

w h ich has e v er been the cha racte ri sti c f t he fam ily as o ;

soon as I h i t s om ething an d sati sfy myse l f f my mas ,
o

ter
y o v er th e weapo n t h e m o ney s h al l b e you rs,
b u t ,
not

t il l then .
”

O h v ery well said Ratty

,
go ,
then R dy on . ea

— d on t bring u p your arm t h at way l ike t h e hand le f

’

,
o

a pu m p b ut raise i t n ice from the e lbow — that

,
it ’
s .

R dy — fi
ea A h t h e re y ou b li nk your eye an d d r o p
re ,

t h e poi n t f you r pi s t ol — y anoth e r R dy — fi !

o tr . ea re

That s better Now s t eady t h e n ex t tim e

’
. .
”

The you ng v i l lain t he n put a h arge o f powd e r a n d c

 C H APTE R XL

H O U G H i t i s c l ear th e seriou s e v en t s i n t h e
O G ra dy fami ly had n o t a l tered M aste r Ra t t y s
’ ’

prop en siti e s i n the l eas t th e case was far d i ff erent wi th

,

G us t av us I n t ha t o n e n igh t o f s u ff e r i ng w h i c h b e h ad
.

passed th e gul f was leaped that d i v id es the boy from th e

,

man ; an d t he ext ra frivoli ty an d car e less ness w hic h

cl u n g from boyhood u p t o t he ag e o f fi ftee n was at
o n c e by th e su dde n d isrup t ure p rod uced by e v en t s t hrow n
, ,

o ff a nd as S ingu lar a ripen ing i nto manhood com m enced

, .

Gus t av us was o f a gen erou s natu r e ; an d e v e n his

fau lts belong e d less to h is o rgan isation t h an to the d e v i l
m ay care sor t of e ducat ion h e r ecei v ed i f ed ucatio n
-

it m igh t b e ca l led Upo n h i s generos ity t h e co nduc t

.

of Edward O Co n n o r beside t h e g r a v e of t h e boy s

’ ’

fath e r had worked stro n gly ; a nd though G usta v us cou ld

n o t gi ve h is hand besid e t he gra v e to t he ma n wit h
w hom h i s father h ad engaged i n dead ly quarre l y e t he ,

q u ite e xon e r ated Edw ard fr o m any blame ; and w hen ,

after a n ight mor e sleepless than Gustavu s had e v er

kno wn he rose ea r ly o n t he e nsuing morn i ng h e
, ,

determ ined t o r ide o v er to Edward O C o n n o r s house t o

’ ’

b reakfast and commence t h at fri ends hi p w hi ch Edward

,

had s o s ole mn ly pro mised to h im and w it h wh ich th e

,

boy wa s pleased ; f o r G usta v u s wa s qu ite aware i n

wha t esti mat io n Edward wa s held ; an d t hough the
relative circu ms t ances i n wh ich h e an d th e la t e S qu ire
”
stood prevented th e boy from caring a fig fo r h im as ,

he o ften said h im se l f y et h e was no t beyo nd th e i nfl uence

,

o f t h at t hin g called re pu t a t ion wh ich so powerfu lly

”
,
 Ha n dy A n dy 49 5
a tt ac h e s and el ev a te s t he m an who w in s i t an d t h e
to ;
pric e a t w hic h Edward was hel d i n th e cou n t ry i n fl uenced
O pin io n e v e n i n Nec k —Nothing H al l a l b e i t though
-
or ,
“
agai ns t t h e gra i n Gustav u s had so m et im es h e ard
.
”
,

fro m t h e l ips f t h e id l e an d igno ran t Edward sn eered

o ,

a t fo r being c rue l w is e a nd mu ch f a schoo l

,
”
t oo o

m as t er and fi t for n othi ng b u t books

,
”
a bou doir and or ,

called a p ian o man w ith al l the rest f t he h ack n eyed

,
”
o
“
d i r t whic h j ea l ou s i nferiority lov es t o fl ing a t the
”

h eigh t s i t can no t occu py for t hough — as i t h as b e e n ;

sai d — Ed ward fro m h is man l y an d sen sib l e beari ng
, ,

had escaped Su ch s n e e rs bet t e r t ha n most men sti l l som e ,

fe w t here wer e wh om h i m eri t was o ff en siv e

to s .

G us t av us how e v er t hough he so met i mes h eard suc h

, ,

t h i ngs w w ith h i s w ey es t ha t Ed ward cou l d bac k

, sa o n

a h ors e w i t h any man i n t he cou nt ry — was alway s for e

mos t i t h e chac e
n co uld b ri ng do w n a s many brac e
—

o f b i rds as mos t m e n i n a day had sav e d tw o one or

persons fro m d rown ing an d if he d i d al l th ese t h ings

;
as we ll as o t h er m e n G us t avu s (thou gh hi t h e r t o
,
id l e too
to l earn m uch h ims el f) di d no t why a man sho u ld b e se e

snee red a t fo r bei n g an acco m plished schol ar as we ll .

Therefore he h ad good foun d a t ion f be in g pleased a t t h e or

p ro ff ered friend shi p f such a m an an d re memb e ri ng

o ,

t h e poignan cy f Edward s angui sh t h e foregoing ev e

o
’
on ,

G us t a v u s gen erous ly res o l v ed to h i m a t on ce an d se e

o ff er h i m the h a d w h ic h a n ice se nse f fee l ing mad e

n o

h i m withho l d t h e nigh t before M ou nt ing h i s pony a n .

,

h ou r s sm art rid i ng bro ugh t h im t o M o un t Esk ar f

’

, or

s uc h w as t he n am e f M r O C o r e side n ce .
’
o n n or s
’
.

I t w b r e ak fas t t i m e whe n G ustav us arriv ed bu t

as -

Ed ward had n o t ye t l e ft hi s room and th e serv an t w e n t ,

t o ca l l hi m I t n e ed s carce ly b e sai d t ha t Ed ward had

.

passed a wret ch e d n igh t r each i ng ho m e h e d id

; ,
as ,

w e ary i n m ind a n d body an d w ith fee l i n gs an d i mag i n a

,

t ion both ov e rwrough t i t was l o ng before h e cou l d s lee p

, ;
a n d e v e n t h en hi S l umb e r w d is t urb e d by harassi n g
s as
49 6 Ha n dy A n dy
v isi on s a nd frightfu l i mag e s S pec t ral shap e s and t h ings .

u ni maginab le to t he wakin g sen ses d anced an d c rawled

a nd h issed abou t h im The torch flared abo v e t he .

grave an d t hat h orrid c o ffi n wit h the n ame of th e dead

, ,
”
O G dy u po n i t m u rdered sleep I t w as daw n
“
’
ra ,
.

before anythi ng l ike refres h i ng S lumbe r t ouch ed h is

feverish ey elids and h e had not enj oy ed more t h an a
,

cou ple o f hou rs of what m igh t be called Sleep w h e n th e ,

se rvant called h i m and t h en after the b r ief ob livi on h e

; ,

had ob t ai n ed may fancy how h e started w hen t he

, on e

fi rs t wo rd s he heard o n waki ng wer e M ister O G dy ,

’
ra
”
i s b elow s ir , .

Ed ward Star t ed u p from his b ed an d stared wild ly on

t he man as he exc l ai med w ith a look f a larm

, ,
o ,

O G dy !
’
Fo r G od s sake
ra y ou do n t say ’

,
’

O G dy
’
ra

T i s Master G usta v us si r said th e man wonder

’

, , ,

i ng at the wi ldness of Edward s m an ne r ’

.

O h th e boy l — y y th e boy !
, re peated E d a ,
a ,

ward d rawing h is ha ds ac ross h is eyes and recov e r i ng

,
n

h is se l f possess i on
-
S ay I wil l be down p r esen tly .
”

The m an ret ired and Edward lay down agai n fo r ,

s o me m i n u t es to calm the heavy be ati ng of his h eart

w hi ch the su dden men tio n of th at n ame had prod uced ;
t hat n ame l i n ked w i th th e m ental ago ny f the pas t
so , o

n igh t that name w h ich had conj ur e d u p a wakin g

;
ho r ro r o f su c h m ig h t as to shake t h e sway of reason for
a t i me an d wh ic h afte r wa r ds pu rs ued its r e ign o f t error
,

t hroug h hi s s l eep A fter such a n ight fancy poor .

,

Ed ward doo med to h ear the n ame f O G d y again th e o

’
ra

first t hi ng i n the morn i ng and we can no t wonder that ,

he was startled .

A few mi n utes h ow e v e r s erved t o res t ore h i s self

, ,

possession an d he a r ose m ad e h i s t oi let i n haste an d

; , ,

descen ded t o th e b r e ak fast parlou r where he was m e t by -

G usta v u s w it h an ope n han d wh ich Edwa r d c lasped ,

w ith fervou r an d h e ld for some t ime as h e l oo ked th e on

49 8 Ha n dy A n dy
it i s as i mposs ib l e t h a t a ri v er shou ld ru n backw ards to
its sou r c e as tha t any I ris hm an f a genero us natu r e
, o

can beco me acquainted w it h the r e al h isto ry f h is o

coun t ry and n ot feel that sh e h as b ee n a n i ll u sed a n d

,
-

n eglected l an d and n ot s t ruggl e i n th e cau s

, f her e o

bei ng righted M uch b been don e i n t he caus e si nce

. as

t he day s f w hi ch th i s story treats an d Edw a r d wa s

o ,

amongs t those who helped t o ach iev e i t but m uch has ;

st il l t o be done an d there i s glo r iou s wo rk i n s t or e for
,

p r e sen t and futu re Edward O C ’

o n n o rs .

Alo ng w ith the books wh ich spoke th e cau s e f I re o

l and th e mu te e v ide nces also f her form er glo r y an d

, , ,
o

ci v ilisation were s cattered t hrough t he roo m Va ri ou s .

ornamen t s f e l egant form an d w rough t i n t h e pu r est

o ,

gold were tastefully arranged o ve r the m an t e l piece

,
-

;
s ome fro m the ir form indicati ng t heir u se and oth ers
, , ,

on ly a ff ord i ng matter f ingen ious specu l atio n to t he

o

a ntiquary but al l b eari ng e v iden ce f early ci v i l isation

,
o .

Th e fro ntle t of go ld i nd icat ed n ob le es t a t e and the lon g ,

and tape r i ng bod kin o f the sam e m etal with i ts r ich ly ,

e nchas d k n ob pendent crescen t im plied the rob e

e or ,

i t once fas t en ed cou ld hav e been f n o m ean textu r e o ,

and t h e wearer f n o m ea n ran k Wea pon s were there

o .
,

t oo, o f elegan t form a nd exq u is it e workm an s h ip wroug h t ,

i n tha t an cien t bron z e o f such w ond ro us t em pe r t h at

,

i t carries e ff ect iv e edge and poi n t T he sword was of .

exact Ph n icia n mou ld oe the do ub le eyed spea r h ead

;
- -

fo rmed at o n ce for Strength and l ight n ess mig h t ha v e ,

se rv ed as the m odel for a sculptor i n arm i ng th e hand

o f M i ner v a Co uld thes e be t h e work f an
. l i o u n cu t

v at e d peo ple Im possibl e T h e h arp t oo was th ere , , ,

t hat u n fai l i ng mark of poli sh and socia l elegan ce The .

bard an d b a r ba r i sm cou ld n e ver b e coeva l B u t a rel ic .

was th e re exc iting Sti l l d eep e r i nteres t —

,
an cie n t an

c rosi er f cu rious workmansh i p w rought i n the preciou s

,
o ,

metals and partly Studd ed wit h j ewels but few f t h e ; o

latter remained t hough t h e em pty co ll et s Showed i t had

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 49 9
o n c e bee n cos tl y i n s uch orn amen t s Cou ld th i s b e .

seen w itho u t re m emberi ng t ha t t he ligh t o f C hristian ity

firs t d awn ed over t he wes t ern isles in Ir e la n d ? t ha t
t b e r e t h e Gospel was fi rs t preached i b e r e the work o f,

s a l v atio n begu n ?
Ther e be c o l d h e art s t o wh ich th ese t ou ch ing re c o l
l ec t ion s do n ot perta in an d t h ey heed t h em n o t ; a nd
,

som e t h ere are who w i t h a ca llousn es s wh i c h Sho cks

, ,

se nsibi li t y h ave t he igno ran t e ff ro ntery t o ask

,
“
Of ,

wha t u se are s uc h reco llecti ons ? ”

W ith suc h frigi d
u t i l itarian s i t wou l d be v ai n to argu e ; but th is question ,

a t le as t may be pu t i n retu rn :
,
W hy should t h e
a ncien t glories o f G reece an d Rom e form a l a rg e port i on
o f th e academi c s t u d ies o f o u r you t h ?— w hy s hou ld
t h e ev id en ces o f t be ir a rt s a nd t b e ir arm s be he l d pre
c io u s i n m useu ms a nd si m i lar e v iden ces o f a n cie n t
,

c u l tiv at io n be despis ed because t hey per t ai n t o a nother

n a t io n ? IS i t bec aus e th ey ar e Iri sh they are held i n
con t e m p t ? A las ! i n m any cases i t i s s o — ay and ,

ev en (s ha me t o say ) wi t h i n her o wn shores B u t ne v er .

may that day arriv e w h en Ire l an d sh a ll b e wi t ho u t e no ugh

o f t ru e an d fon d h earts t o cherish t he memory o f her

anc ien t g lo r i es t o g i v e t o her fu tu re so ns t h e ev id en c es

,

o f h e r earlies t wes t ern c iv i l isa t io n prov i ng t hat t he ir

,

fo re fa t hers were not ( as those say wh o wronged an d

t herefore wo ul d m align th em ) a rabb l e o f rud e b arbarian s ,

b u t t ha t b rav e k i ngs an d p roud p r in ces a nd w ise l aw

, ,

g iv e r s a n d j us t j udges and ga l lan t c h iefs an d ch ast e

, , ,

and lov e ly women w e re am ong them and t ha t i n spi red ,

b ards we r e t here t o perpetuate s uc h mem ori es !

G us t a v u s had nev er before se en a c rosi er and asked ,

w hat i t w as On bei ng i n formed o f it s n am e h e t hen

.
,

said B ut w hat is a crosi er

A b isho p s pas t oral sta ff said Ed ward
’

, .

A n d w hy hav e y o u a bis ho p s staff a n d s words a nd

’

, ,

s pears h un g u p t ogether ?
,

Tha t is no t i napp ropria te said Edward ,

U n for .
5 0 0 Ha n dy A n dy
t u n a t e ly , t h e s word and th e c ros ier hav e b e en
frequen t ly
b u t too i ntimat e c om pan ions P reach ing t he word o f .

peace has b een too o ften the pretext for war The .

S pan iards for i nstan c e i n t h e n am” e o f t he gospe l com

, , ,

mit t e d th e most fea r fu l at r ocit ies .

O h I k now said Gusta v us t ha t wa s i n th e t ime

,
”
,
“

o f bloody M ary an d t h e A r mada .

Edward wondered at t h e boy s igno rance an d s a w i n ’

a n i ns t an t t h e source o f h i s fa l se ap plicat ion of his

allusio n t o th e S pan iards G u sta v us h ad b een taught to
.

v aguely couple th e nam e o f bloody M ary with e v e ry

t h ing bad a nd t hat o f good Q u een Bess w ith all
,
“ ”

that was g l ori ous ; and t h e wo r d S pani sh i n poo r ,

G usty s head had been h it h e rt o con n e c t ed w ith t wo id e as

’

, ,

n ame ly “ l iquo ri ce an d the A rmada

,
.

Ed ward w ithou t wou n ding the s e n s iti v e Shame o f

,
'

ignoran t yo ut h gent ly set h i m ri ght a nd mad e h im

, ,

aware h e h ad alluded to t he cond uct o f t h e S paniards

i n A me r ica u nd er C o rt es a nd Pizarro .

Fo r th e fi rst ti me i n his li fe G u sta v us was aware tha t

Pizarro was a real character H e had heard h is gran d .

mamm a Speak o f a play of t h at n ame an d how g r eat ,

M r Kemble was i n Rollo an d how h e saved a c h il d ;

.
,

but as t o i ts belo nging to hi story it was a n ew l ig h t ,

the utm ost G usty k n ew about America b e i ng tha t i t

was d isco v ered by C olumbu s .

“
B u t th e c ros ier ”
said Edward “ i s amongs t t h e
, ,

mos t i n t e restin g o f Irish antiqu it ies an d es p e ci ally ,

b elongs t o a n I ris h co llection w hen yo u rem e mber t h e ,

earl ies t preach i ng o f C hr isti an ity i n th e w e ster n isles

”
was i n I relan d .

“ I did o n ly know t ha t said t h e boy .

,

Then you don t k no w why t he Shamro ck is o u r

’

”
natio nal e mble m ?
No said G usta v us though I t ake care t o moun t
,
“
,

o n e i n my hat e v ery Patric k s day

” ’
.

“
Well s ai d Edward anx ious t o g i ve G ustav us
, ,
5 0 2 Ha n dy A n dy
for mor e o f t ha t romant ic l ore wh ic h
yo u t h lov e s so
pass ionat e ly .

Not tha t I k now o f answered Edward ; bu t i f

,

th es e objects her e had on ly to ngues i f e v e ry sword an d , ,

be l t and s pear h e ad and go l d e n bod ki n a nd other t rin ke t

,
-

, ,

cou ld s peak n o doub t w e Sh oul d hear st i rri ng Stories o f

,

gallan t wa rr iors an d t heir la dy e lo ves ”

-
.

Ay e that wou l d b e something t o hear ! e xc lai med

,

G us ty .

“ Well sa id Ed ward “ y o u may h ave many su cb

, ,

sto ries by readi ng t h e h isto ry o f yo ur co u ntry ; whic h i f

yo u hav e n ot r e ad I can le n d yo u boo ks en ough
,
”
.

O h t han k yo u said G usty ; I Shou ld li k e i t so

,
” “
,
”
m uch .

Edwa rd ap proach e d the book shel f a n d s ele c te d a vo l

-

u me h e thought the most likely to i n te re s t so l i tt le prae

t is e d a reader ; and when he tu rned rou n d he s a w Gusty

po is ing i n h is ha nd an ant ique I ri sh sword o f b ro n ze .

D o you know what that i s ? i nqu i r e d Ed ward

”
.

“
I ca n t t ell you t h e nam e o f it an swe red G usty
’ ”
, ,

but I su ppose it was some t b i ng t o st ick a f e llow .

Edward s miled a t t he ch arac te ristic reply a n d tol d ,

h i m it was an an ti qu e I r is h swo rd .

A sword ? h e exc lai med IS n t it Sho rt fo r a

.
’

swo rd
All the sword s o f tha t day w e r e shor t .

”
Wh en was t hat ? i nqu ired the boy .

S omewh ere abo ut t wo” thous and years ago .

Two t ho usand y e ars exc l aimed Gu sty i n su rpri se

, ,
.

“
H ow is it pos sible you can t e ll th is is t wo t housand
y e ars o ld ?
“
Becaus e i t i s m ad e o f th e same me t a l and o f t he
sam e S hape as the swords fou n d a t C a n n ze w h e re t h e ,

Ca rt hagi n ian s fough t t he Rom ans ”

.

“
I kn ow th e Roma n h istory said Gus t y e ager t o
”
, ,

d is play h is l itt le bi t o f k nowledge ; I know t he Ro ma n

h isto ry Ro m ulus a n d Rem u s we r e e d uca te d by a wo l f
.
”
.
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 3 0

Edward cou l d resis t a sm i l e w h ich he soo n p

not , su

pr e ssed an d co nt in ued
, S uch works as y w hold ou no

i n yo u r ha nd are fo und i q i i i n I re l an d a nd n l ua nt t es
,
se

d m anyw here e ls e i n Europ e excep t i n Ita l y p

o i , ,
a rt c u

l ly a t C a n n
ar w h e re som e t hou sa nds f C ar t hagin ia n s
ae , o

fe ll a nd when we fi n d t he s word f the sam e m ak e an d

; o

me t a l i n p lac e s remo t e it estab l i shes a stron g co n n e ct

so ,

i ng li n k b et wee n t h e p e ople f C arthage and f I re land o o ,

d a t o n ce Shows t hei r d a t e
”
an .

H w c u riou s t h a t is !
o ex c l ai med Gus ty and ;
h w d d I n ev e r h e ard it befor e !
o o Ar e t h e r e m a n y s uc h
c u riou s t h ings y kn ow ou
”
M any said E dward ,
.

“ I wo nde r h w peop l e ca n fi n d o suc h dd t hi ngs out o ,

said t h e b y o .

My dear boy sai d E dwa rd aft e r g ett i ng a c e r

, ,

t ai n amou nt f kn ow l edge o t h e r know l edge comes v ery

o ,

fas t i t gath ers l ike

; wb l l — perhaps it wou l d be a sn o a or

b et ter to i ll ustra te the fac t by a m illda m Y k now . ou ,

w h en th e w a t er i l w i n t h e m i ll d am t h e mi l l er ca n n o t
s o ,

driv e h is w hee l b u t h e mom en t t h e wat e r c om es p to

; t u

a cer t a i n l ev e l it has fo rc e work t h e m i l l A n d it

to . so

i wi t h k n ow l edg e whe n o n c e y
s ge t i t u p
; a cer ou to

tai n l e v el y ,
work you r m i l l w i th t hi s grea t
ou can
‘
,
’

advan t ag e o ve r t h e m i ll dam t ha t t h e S t ream f k n ow l ,

o

edge o nc e reac hi n g t h e worki n g le vel n e v er ru n s d ry

, ,
.
”

O h I w is h I k ne w
, much y do e xc lai
as m e d as ou ,

G usty .

A nd y ca nsoi f y wi s
ouh it said E dwa rd ou ,
.

G us t y s ighed h e av i l y an d ad m it te d he had bee n v ery ,

id le Ed ward t o l d h im h e h ad p lent y f t im e b e fore h i m

. o

to repai r t he d am ag e .

A co n v ersa t o n t h en e n su ed perfec tl y fra n k

i the ,
on

pa rt f t h e boy
o d k i nd Edwa d s S id e
,
an a l l h is on r
’
to
d eficie n c ies w hi ch h e fou n d t o b e l amen t ab l e
, far a s , as

l earn i ng w e n t H e h ad som e sma ll s matt eri n g f La t i n

. o ;
b u t Gu stav u s v ow e d s t eady a ttent i o n h i t u t or and to s
5 04 Ha n dy A n dy
h is s t udi e s for t he fu t u re Edward k n owi ng wha t a
.
,

m iserable scholar th e t utor h imself was o ff ered to pu t ,

G usta v us t hrough h i s Lati n a n d G ree k h i mse l f Gu s .

t avu s accepted the o ff er w ith grat itu de a n d rod e ov er ,

every day to M o u nt Es kar f his lesson and u nder

or ; ,

the in t el ligen t ex planat io ns f Edward th e d i ffi cu lties

o ,

wh ic h had h ith e rto d iscou raged hi m d isappeared and it ,

w as su rpris ing what p rogres s he m ade A t t he s am e .

t i me he d evou red I ris h h i sto ry and becam e rapidly t inc

,

t u re d w ith t h a t enthus iastic lo v e f al l th at belonged to o

his co u ntry wh ic h he fou n d i n h is t eac he r an d Edwa rd ;

soon hai led i n t he a rd en t n eo phyte a n oble an d i lli
, ,
nte

ge nt s pi rit redee med fro m ign oranc e an d ren dered capa

b le o f h igh er enjoyme nt s than thos e to be de r ived merely
fro m field s ports Edward howeve r d id n o t con fine
.
, ,

h is i nstructi on s t o book learn ing on ly the r e i s m uch to

-

;
b e le arned by l iv ing w it h the educated whose cu r re nt ,

co nv e rsat i on alon e i s i nstru ct i v e an d Edwa r d had G u s

;
t a v us w i th h i m as con s t antly as he cou ld and a fte r so me ;
t i me when th e frequ en cy f G usty s v is its to M ou nt
,
o
’

Eskar ce ased to excite a ny wo nder at home he some ,

t i m e s S pen t several d ays together with E d w d w hom ar , to

h e b e cam e con t i nu ally more and m o r e attached E d .

ward s howed grea t judgm en t i maki ng h i s t rain i ng n

a tt rac t iv e to h is pupi l he d id n o t a t tend m erely to hi s

:

head he t hough t o f oth e r t hi ngs as wel l j oi n ed hi m i n

; ;
th e Spo rt s and exe r c ises he k new and taugh t h im t ho se ,

i n wh ich h e was u n i nstru cted Fenci ng for ins t an ce .

, ,

was on e f th ese Edwa r d was a tol e rab le maste r o f h is

o ;
foi l an d i n a few m onth s Gus t av us u n d er h is t u i t io n
, , ,

cou ld p arry a th rust and m ake no bad attempt a t a h it

h im sel f H is im p rove ment i n e v ery w ay was so rem ark
.

able t ha t i w as n o t iced by all an d it s cause d id not

, t ,

long r e mai n sec re t and wh en i t w known Ed ward

; as ,

O C
’
charac t er Stood h igh er t h an e v er a n d t he
on nor s
’

whole count ry said i t was a lucky day for Gusty O G dy ’

ra

tha t h e foun d suc h a fr i e n d .

 C H A PTE R XL I

W H EN B ridg et d ragg ed A ndy bac k and i ns isted

o n h is going to bed

No — I w il l n o t b e too go o d n at ured an d tel l m y

story i n th at w ay ; besides it wou ld b e a very d i ffi c ult
,

m atter to tell it ; and why S hou ld an author me rely ,

t o oblig e people ge t hi msel f i n v ol ved i n a labyri nt h

,

o f di ffi cu lti es ,
an d rac k h is u n fo rt u nate brain to p i c k
an d choose words properly t o t el l hi s story yet at the ,

same t ime t o lead h is readers through t he m azes o f

this v ery t icklis h ad ve n tu re w ithou t a S i ng le t horn
,

scra t ch ing th ei r delica te feeli ngs o r as much as m ak

,

i ng the smallest ren t i n the w hite m us l i n ro b e o f pro

p rie t
y ? S o n ot to ru n u n necessary r isks t he s to ry
, ,

m ust go o n another way .

W hen Sh a n M ore and the rest o f the “ big b l ac k

guard s began to wake t he morn i ng afte r the abd uct ion
, ,

a nd ga v e a tu rn o r two u nd e r their h eather co v er l id an d ,

rubbed th e ir ey e s as th e s u n peeped through th e “ cu r

t ai n s o f the east ”
f o r th ese were t he o nly bed
c urtain s S han M ore and hi s co m pan ions ev e r had
t h ey stre t ched the mse lv es and yawn ed and felt very ,

th i rsty f o r th ey ha d all be e n b li n d d run k th e n ig h t

,

b efore be i t rem e mbered ; an d Sh an M ore t o u se h is

, ,

o wn ex press i v e and poetic image ry swo re t h at h is ,

t ongu e was as rough as a rat s back wh ile his c o m

” ’

pa n ion s went n o fu rther tha n saying the i rs were a s

”
“
d ry as a l i me burner s wig
-
’
.
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 7
0

W e s hou l d be pa rt icu l ar i n t ho se m in u t e
no t so

d e t ails b u t f that d e sire f t rut h which h as gu ided

or o

u s al l t h rough t h i s v eraci ou s h is t o ry an d as i n t h is ;
sc e n e i n particu l ar we fee l o urs el ves S u re t o be he l d
, ,

Seriou s l y r e spo n sib le fo r e v e ry word we ar e d e t ermi ned ,

to b e acc ura te a n i c et y a n d to dow n e v e ry sy ll ab le , se t

wi t h S t en ogra phic s t r ic t n e ss .

Wh e re t he gi r l ? c ried S han n o t y et sob e r

’
S
”
, .

S h e as l eep w i t h y ou r i h was t he answ e r

’
S S st e r,
”
.

Dow n s t a i rs -
i nq u i red S ha n .

Y e s, aid t he o t h e r wh
”
s w k new t ha t B ig Jac k , o no

w as mor e d ru n k t han h e a t firs t t hough t h im by h i s ,

u s in g t h e words i f Jac k w hen he was dru n k

st a r s , or

w v ery g
as d ra n d ca ll ed d w ,
an b l dd d own i o n t e a er
“ -
st a r s.
“ G et m e a d ri n k wa t her said J ack for I m 0
’
,
”
,
“ ’

t h un dh i er nt hi rs t y a n d can t de l ud h e r t ha t g ir l w it h
’

,
’

soft word s t i ll I we t my mou t h .

”

H i a tt e n dan t v agabo n d obeyed t h e order an d a l arg e

s ,

pi t ch e r fu ll f wa t er w hand e d t o t h e master wh
o as , o

h e av e d i t u pwa rds hi h e ad and d ran k as audibly

to s

a n d ne ar l y m uch as a hors e Th en hold ing h i

as . s

ha nds r e ceiv e t he r e mai n i n g co n tent s f t he pitc her

to o ,

wh ich hi fo ll ow e rs pou r e d in t o h is mon strou s pa l ms

s ,

h e sous e d h i face w h ic h h e aft erw ards w iped i n a

s ,

w isp f grass — t he only t ow el f J ac k s w hic h was

o o
’

n ot t h e n a t t he wash .

H a v ing t hu s m ade h i t oi l e t B ig Jac k w en t dow n s ,

s t ai rs a n d
,
so on as h is grea t b u l l h ead h ad d isa p peared
as -

ben e a t h t h e t rap f t he m e n abov e said

,
on e o We l l ,
“ ’

hav e a bill soo n boys

s oe ,
.

A n d su re e nough t hey d id befo re l on g h e ar an extra

ordi n ary w Jack fi r s t roared f B ridge t an d n o
ro . or ,

answ e r w retu r n ed t he cal l was repea te d wi t h as

as ;
l i ttl e e ff ect a n d a t las t a mos t t rem endo us ro ar w
,
as

heard abov e bu t ,
from a fem al e v oi ce Jack
not .

w as heard b e lo w swearing l i ke a t roo p e r and i n a

, , ,

m i nu te or w back h e ru sh e d
t o,
p i a nd bega n “u -
st a r s ,
”
5 08 Ha n dy A n dy
cu rsi n g h is my rm idons mos t awfu ll y a n d foaming a t t h e ,

mo u t h w ith rage .

Wha t t h e m h ’
s cri e d t h e m e n
at t er .

M h !
at t roar e d Jack
er h y tarn a l v i ll ai n s o ,
ou
’
!

Y o u re a pur ty t o carry ff a gi r l for a m an —

’
se t o a

pu rty job you v e m ade f it ! ’

o
“
A rrah did ,
w e b ri ng h er y
n t
’
to ou

H er, i n d ee d — brin g b — much good w h a t y er ou

brough t is me to !
“ Tar e an ! wh a t s t h e m h
’
ou ns at all ? W e ’
at t er

d u n n a what you ma n e sho u te d t h e m en r et ur n ing

! ”
,

rage for rage .

“
Co me dow n a n d yo u l l ,
wha t s t he m h ’
se e
’
at t e r,

said Jack d e scen di ng t h e ladd e r and t h e m e n h as t ened

, ;
aft e r h im .

H e l ed t he way the fu rth e r e n d f t h e c ab i n where

to o ,

a sma ll gl i mmeri ng f ligh t was p e rmitted t o e nte r from

o

th e to p an d l i ft i ng a t at te r e d piec e f c anvas wh ich

, o ,

s erved as a s creen t o t h e bed h e excla i m e d w it h a , ,

cu rse ,
“
Loo k t h e re you b lackgu ard s ! ,
”

Th e me n gav e a shou t o f s u rprise for — wha t d o ,

you t hin k t h ey saw ?— A e m p t y b e d ! n

 Ha n dy A n dy
A n d we ll yo u d id i t n o doub t D id y m arry any , . ou

on e late l y ? s aid D ick with a waggish g rin and a

”
,

wi n k .

“
Faix t hen mayb e I d id sa id A ndy w ith a kn ow
, , , ,

i ng d no .

“
A nd I ho pe M y i s w e l l ? said D ic k a tt
”
.

Ah M i h D ick yo u r e a l ways goin

,
st er w ith ,
’ ’
on

you r j k i o
y are ’
S
n , so
y h d ou tha t j b did . o, ou eer 0
’
o ,

you ? Faix a pu rty l ady h i s — h i, her at a ll s e o

’
t s not
I am married but an other wo man t o, .

“
A nother w oman ! e xc l ai med D ick in surprise ”
, .

Yi Si r a no t her wom an — k i nd c r ayth u r

“ ”
s, , a .

“
A nother wom an ! rei t erat e d D ic k laugh ing mar ”
, ;
“

ri e d t o two wo m e n in w day s ! Why you re wors e t o

’

”
than a T urk !
“
Ah M ist h e r D i ck !
,

Yo u Tarqu i n
“ S ure S i r wh at harm s i n i t ? ’
, ,

Yo u H el iogabalus l
“
S u re it s n o fa ult o m i n e sir
,
’ ’

,
.

B igamy by t h is and t hat fl at b igamy ! You ll o n ly

, ,
’

b e hanged as s ure as yo u r na me s A n dy
,
” ’
.

S ure l et me tell you ho w it wa s sir an d you 11see

, , ,
’

I am q ui t o f a ll harm good o r bad T was a pac k ,

.
’

0 b l ackgu ards t t e ”
come o ak o ff O onah S i r
’
ou s e e
y , , ,
.

O h a case o f abd uctio n !

,
“
Y is s ir ; s o th e wom e n dh re s s e d me u p as a gi r l
, ,

and t he blackguards i n stead of the s e d uc t ion o f O onah

, ,
”
o n ly sedu ced me .

“
Ca pi tal ! c ried D ic k ; “ we l l do n e A n dy ! An d
”
,
”
wh o sed uced y o u ?
“
S han M or e faith — n o l ess ,
’
.

H o ho ! a d angerous cus t om e r t o p l ay t ricks o n

, ,
”
A n dy .

S ure en ough faith a nd th at S partly t h e rayso n o f

,
’

,
’

w h at happened ; but by good luc k B ig Jack was b li n d , ,

d h ru n k w he n I go t t h ere and I sh amm ed sc re e c h in so

’

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 1:

w ell t ha t h i s i h t ook pi t y m e and sai d sh e d

S st er on ,
’

kee p m e safe fro m harm i n h e r w bed t h a t n igh t o n .

D ic k gav e a vie w hallo w he n h e heard t h i s an d “

,

shou t ed w i t h l augh t er d e ligh te d at t h e t hough t f S han ,

o

M ore i n s t ead f c arry ing ff a g ir l for h im s el f in t ro

,
o o ,

d i g a galla nt t o h is w sist e r
uc n o n .

O h n ow I
“ how y,
a re marri e d sa i d D ick
se e ou , ;
“ t h at was th e b it e r b i t i n de e d .
”

O h t he d i il a b i t I d ha h i her o nl y for t he cross

,
v
’ ’
t

l uc k w ith m e for I wanted ,

h m ff th e to sc a e o ou t o
’

plac e an d escape bu t She wo u l d

,
let m e d co t c h
; n t
’

, an

me an d brough t me bac k .
”

I shou l d th in k sh e wou ld i n de e d said D i ck l augh

“
, , ,

in g . W hat n e x t ? ”

W hy I d ra n k a pow e r pu nch si r and w ff my 0

’

, ,
as o

guard y ,
an d cou l d n t keep th e y
ou se e , wel l ’
sa c re t so

a fth e r t h a t and by dad h fou n d it , s e o ut .

”

Ju s t wha t I wou l d e x pec t f h er said D ick o ,

”
.

W e l l do y k now S ir t hough t h e h i k was age n

,
ou , ,
t r c

her ow n b ro t her h laughed a t i t a pow e r a n d said I was

,
s e ,

a grea t d i il b u t t ha t h cou l d v ,
b l ame m e S t he n s e n t
’
. o

I d h
’
to coax h e r
st ru v l e t m e m ake my e scap e bu t to ,

s h t o l d m e t o wai t a b i t t i l l t he m en abov e was faster

e

as l eep b u t wh i le I w w i i f t he m t o go t o Sle e p
; as a t n
’
or ,

faix I we n t , as lee p my se l f I was to t i red and wh e n ,

so ;
B ridge t the h ,
wo ke m e i n th e morn i g Sh e was
c ra t u r,
’
n ,

cr
y i like na s’
pou t a ft her a t h u nd e r s t orm and sa id h e r -

c h h
a ra c t wou l d be ru ined w he n t h e s t o ry g abroad
er ot

over t h e h y an d su re h d ar
co u nt r face t h e wor l d i f
, s e n t
’

I wou ld ma k e h e r an hones t wo ma n
’
n t .
”

The b raze baggag e ! s aid D ick

“
n a n d w ha t d id ”
;
“

y o u sa
y ?
Why wha t co u l d any man
“
y i afth e r t ha t sa , s r, ?

S u re h e r k h w ou ld be go n e i f
a ra c t er

Gon e s aid D ic k
“
faith i t m igh t hav e go ne fur
,
”
,
“ ’

t h e r before i t fared wors e .

”

Arrah ! wh at d yo u man e M i h D i ck ? o ,
st er
5 x2 Ha n dy A n dy
“Pooh ,
pooh ! A n dy you do n t mea n t o
’
say yo u
”
m arried that o n e ?
”
Fai x I did said A ndy
, ,
.

Well A ndy sa id D ick gri n n ing by t h e pow e rs

,
”
, , , ,

you b a n e done it t hi s t ime ! Goo d m o rn ing t o yo u ! ”

and D i ck pu t s pu rs t o h is hors e .
$ 14 Ha n dy A n dy
as t h e sh ow e rs o f k iss es fro m C onah s ri pe l i ps fe ll fas t ’

u po n h i m h e was n o t ins e n s ib le the embrace f to o so

v ery pretty a g ir l gir l m o reover he had a l ways had

— a
, ,

a sneak ing k in d n ess for w hich O h d istan ce f ,

ona
’
s o

m a n n er alo n e had hithe rt o m ad e h i m keep to hi msel f ;

but w whe n h e w her eyes beam grat itude and her
no ,
sa ,

chee k fl ush afte r he r s t rong de mon st r atio n of r egard and

, ,

h eard her last wo rds y like a hi nt to a hy man it

, so v e r s ,

m us t be owned a sudden pang s ho t t h r ough poo r Andy s ’

h eart and he s ickened at th e though t o f bei n g marri ed

, ,

w h ich placed t he t em p t i ng prize be fore h i m hope l essly

beyo n d hi s reach .

H e l ooked b lan k and seemed so u nab l e t o retu rn

so ,

O ona h
’
fond greeting t ha t h felt th e piqu e w hich
s , s e

ev e ry pretty wom an ex periences who fan cies h e r fa v ours

d is regarded an d t hought A ndy the stu p idest lou t h
,
s e

e v er cam e ac ross Turn ing u p he r hai r wh ich h ad

.
,

fall e n d ow n i n th e excess of her fr ien ds h ip she wa l ked ,

ou t of t h e cottage and b it ing her disda in fu l l i p fairly

, , ,

cried for s pite .

I n the meant i me A ndy popped d own o n h is knees ,

be fo r e t h e w idow a n d s aid “ G ive m e your b lessi ng

, , ,

m other !
Fo r wha t yo u o ma d h awn ,
said hi s mo t her ,

fiercely ; for h e r woma n s natu re too k part w ith O o n a h s ’ ’

fee lings whi c h she qu ite co mp r ehe nd ed an d s h e was

, ,

vexed with what s h e though t A ndy s d isgusti ng in s e n si ’

Fo r wha t s hou ld I give you my b l essi ng ?

”
b il it y.

B e k a se I m ma rr i d m a am
’ ” ’ ’

, .

Wh at ! ”
exclai med the moth er “
I t s n o t marr i d ’ ’

agai n yo u are ? You re jo k in su r e ’ ’

.

Faix it S n o j oke said A ndy sad l y I m ma rri d

,
’ ” “
, , ,
’ ’

sure en ough ; s o gi v e u S you r blessi n any how c ried ” ’

, ,

he St il l k n eelin g
, .

A n d w h o d id y o u d a r f o r t o marry Sir i f I make

’
, ,

s o b o wld t o ax wit h out m l a ve o r l icense ?

y ,

Th e r e w as n o tim e fo r ax i n mother t was done

’

,
’
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 5 1

i n a h urry a n d I c an t h el p it
,
giv e us you r b l essing
’

,
so

a t on ce .
”

T e l l m e wh is She b e fore I giv e y my b le s si n

o ,
ou
’

Sb an M S is t er m a am
or e s
’

,
’
.

Wha t exclai med t he w ido w S t agg e ring bac k ,

som e paces S han M or e s i h di d y ou y ’

S st e r, sa

Bri dge t b ris it ?ua ,

l
”
Yi s ma am ,
’
.

O h w irras t h ru
, p l ill l w m ill i m u r t h e r ! e e a

shou t e d t h e mother t earin g her cap ff h er head ,

o ,

O h b les sed V g i ho l y S t Dom i n ick Pe t her a n

ar n, .
,
’

Pau l t h e poss el wha t 11 I d

’
,
— Oh
p h
’
a n av e o ,
at t er
’

—
y ou d ir t y b b b le ss
ost e d a n
oonge l s an d ho l y m h y ! ar t rs
— k c el i n t h e re i n t h e m idd l e
u
’
the fl as if n o t hi ng 0
’
u re

h ap p e ned — look d ow n m e t h is day a poo r on ,

v a rt u o u s

di l sso u t e wom an Oh y d isgrace t o m e a n d al l , ou

be l o n gi ng t o y — and i i t t he im id
ou, p to ks my e nce as

b le ss i n y h av e wh e n i t a wh ip p i a t th e c a rt s tai l
’
ou ,
’
S n
’ ’

y ou ough t t o ge t y sh am e l ess s ,capegracou e ?

”

S he t h e n w ent wri ngi ng h e r ha n d s a nd t hrow in g t h e m ,

u pwards i n app e a l s H eaven whi l e A ndy s t ill k e p t

to ,

k ne e l ing i n t h e m idd le f t h e cab in l os t i n wo n d e r o , .

The widow ra n t h e door a n d cal l ed Oo n ah i n

to .

Wh d y o t h in k tha t blackguard is m i d ?
o ou arr
’
to
s ai d the w i dow .

M arri e d ! ex c l ai med O o n ah grow i n g pa l e

”
,
.

A y m i d and who d yo u t h ink — Why

’

,
a rr ,
to, o to
B ridge t b r aa
”
.

O o nah scr e am e d a n d c l as p e d h e r h and s .

A n dy g u p a t l as t an d asked wh a t th ey wer e
ot ,

making suc h a rou t about he w t he fi rs t ma n wh ; as n t

’
o

marri ed w i t h ou t aski n g hi s mo t h e r s l eav e a n d wa n t e d ’

;
to k now wha t t hey had y ag en it to “
sa .
”

O h y bar e fac e d sca n da l

,
ou t h e worl d c ri ed the 0
’

w idow ,
ax s i t c h a qu e stio n —
to m ar y a h mpi to r t ra n
’

st h re el l ik e t ha t — grea t r e d h e ad e d j ack a -

R d h a ir d Bri d g t 1 e -
e e .
5 16 Ha n dy A n dy
S he ca n t h e lp her h ai r said An dy
’

,
.

I w ish I cou l d cu t it ff and h er h e ad a l o n g w ith o ,

it t he
,
h p! O h b l essed V g i ! t o hav e my
st ra ar n

d augh t er i —law -
n

Wh a t ? said Andy getti ng ra t h e r a l a rm ed

”
, .

T ha t a ll th e cou ntry k nows i s

Wh a t ? c ried A ndy ”
.

N a fai rot a m ark et t ow n d o e s nor k now her as -

n t
’

w e l l as O h w irra ! w i r ra ,

Why you do n t m an e t o y any th ing agen h e r

“ ’
sa

c h k h
a ra c do y
t s aid Andy
e r, ou ?” .

Ch k h in deed ! said h is mo t her with a s neer

ar a t er
”
,
.

By t his a n that said A ndy i f sh e wa s th e ch ild ,

”
,
“

u n born h co uld n t m ake a gr e a t er h ullaba l oo about

s e
’

h e r h k h t h an sh e d id th e m i afther
C a ra t er o rn n
’
.
”

A fther wha t ? said h i s moth e r ”

.

A fther I was t u k away p to t h e h i ll b y

“ d u e a nt , a n

fou nd her t here an d bu t I b li I did

,
t ell you ’
e ve n t
’

”
h ow i t happened .

N sai d O onah co ming fo rward d e ad l y pa l e an d

o,
”
, , ,

l is t en i ng anxiously w it h a look f d ee p pi ty i n her ,

o

so ft eyes .

Andy t he n re l a t ed h is adv en t u re t h e re ader already as

knows i t and when i t was ended O onah b u rst i nto

; ,

t ears and i n pass iona t e exc l amatio ns blamed he rself for

al l tha t had hap pen ed sayi ng i t was i n th e en d eavou r ,

t o save he r t h at A ndy had lost h ims e l f .

O h O on ah O onah
,
said A ndy w i t h mor e ,

m ea ni ng i n h i s v o ice t han th e gi r l had ev e r h e rd before a ,

“ it i s n t t he loss f my sel f I m ind b u t I v e l ost y
’
o ,
’
ou

t oo O h if you had e v e r gi ve n me a d h wo rd
.
,
ten er or

look b e fo re t h i s d ay would n ev e r h av e happ e ned and ,

’
t ,

t ha t d i i n t h e hi ll s nev er cou l d hav e d l db d

e sa v e r e u er e

m e. A nd t el l m e l m b i my pi i ,
righ t a n na a c ree, s su S c ons

i n wh at I hear — tell m e t he wors t a t o n cet — i s h s e

n on mp ? co os

O h I ne v e r h d h e r call e d by t ha t n am e
,
eer
 C HAPT E R XLI V

T h as b een n e c e ssary i n a n e ar l ier c ha p te r t o n o t ice

I t h e Strange fr e aks m adn e ss wi ll som et i mes play .

I t was then th e obj ect to S how how Stro ng a ff e cti ons

o f t he m i n d w il l r e cal l an e rring j udgment to i t s tru e

balance ; b ut t he ac t ion o f the co un terpo ise growi ng

,

weak e r by ti m e the d iseas e retu rns and reaso n agai n

, ,

k icks the beam S uch wa s t he o ld dowager s case : t h e

.
’

death of h er son r e called her t o h e rsel f ; bu t a fe w days

prod uced relapse and s h e wa s as foolis h as e v er N e ver
, .

t h e le ss as Polon i us r e ma rks o f H am let

, ,

Th r is me tho d i hi mad ss ;
e e n s ne

so i n t h e dowag e r s case t here was method — n o t o f a

’

sane inten t ion as t h e o ld cou rtier im plies o f th e D ani sh

,

P r i nc e b ut of i n san e bi rt h — beg o t o f a ch ivalrous fe e l

,

i ng o n an en feebl e d m ind .

To m ake t h is clea rly u nd e rstood i t i s n ecessary to

c all a tt ention t o o n e other p e c ul iarity o f m ad ness ,

th a t wh i l e it m akes those u nd er it s in fl ue n ce liabl e to

,

say and en ac t all sorts o f n onsens e o n some subjects it ,

n e v er im pai rs th eir powers of obs e rv at ion o n t hose

wh ich chan ce to com e w ith in t h e reach o f th e u n
d iseas ed po rtio n o f the m ind ; and mo r eover they a r e ,

quite as capab le o f arriv ing a t ju s t conclus io ns u po n

wha t t hey so s ee an d h ear as th e m os t reasonable p e rson
, ,

and perhaps in propo rtion as t h e reaso ni ng power is

, ,

l im ited w ith in a smal ler com pass s o the capab ility o f

,

observation becomes s tr onge r by bei ng co ncen t rated .

S uch was t h e cas e w i t h t h e o l d dowager wh o whi l e, ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 5 9 1

Fu r l ong wa s doin g d evo t io n A ugu s t a an d app e ared to ,

t he p i n k f fa ithfu l swai ns saw ve ry c lear l y tha t Fu rlong

o ,

d id n o t l i k e i t a bit and wou ld g l adly b e ff his bargai n

,
o .

Y e a w h ile t he peo ple in t heir sob e r s e n ses

,
t he sam e on

plane w i t h t he par t ies wer e t aken i n t he old l u n at ic ev en , ,

fro m t h e to pp l i ng heigh t f he r w m ad ch im n ey pot o o n -

cou l d l ook d own an d see tha t Furlo n g wo u l d n o t m arry

Augus t a i f he co u l d he l p it .

I t w ev en as F u r long h ad ac t ed u nd er the i fl
so . n u

e n ce f terro r wh e n poor A ugu sta sh ov ed i n t o his bed

o ,

room t hrough the dev ilm e n t f th at rascally i m p Ratty o , ,

an d fou n d t her e t hrough t h e ev i l d estiny f An dy was

, o ,

fl u n g i nto h i s arm s by h e r en raged fathe r an d accepted ,

as hi s w i fe Th e i m mediat e h urry f t h e e lectio n h ad

. o

de l aye d t he m arriage — t h e d u e ] an d i t s co nsequ e nces

fu rt h e i nte rrupt e d t he ha ppy even t — a n d O G dy
r
’
ra
’
s

d e ath ca us ed a fur t her pos t po ne men t I t w d e l i ca t e l y . as

h in t ed t o Fu r l ong t ha t wh en ma t ters h ad gon e,

fa r so

as to t h e wedd ing d res ses be in g ready th at t he soone r

-

t h e contracti ng part ies u n de r suc h c irc u ms t an ces wer e

m arri e d t h e bet t er B ut Fu r l o n g w ith th a t a ff ec t a t io n
,
.
,

o f propriety wh ic h belon gs hi t i m e serv i ng tr ib e to s -

p l ead e d t he regard to ap pe aran ces“ soo n after

t he e ver b dep l ored e v en t
-
to -
e -
an d oth e r such p ,
”
-
s e

i
c ou s e x cuses w hic h we re b u t cov ers h is w ra s
,
to o n

li y and u sed b u t t o pos t po n e t h e “ ”

ca t ,
w edd i n g day -
.

The t ru t h was t h e momen t Fu rlo n g h ad n o l onger t he

,

t e rrors f O G dy pis t ol b efore h i e yes he had

o
’
ra
’
s s ,
re

solv e d ne ver t ake bad a match th a t w i t h Augusta

to so as

appeared b — i n d e ed was as far

to e regard ed mon ey ,
as ;
t houg h F urlon g S houl d o n ly have been g l ad t o b e t oo

p e rm it t ed m ix h i pl e bei an b lood w ith th e d augh t er f

to s o

a man f h igh f am ily w ho se cri pp l ed c i rcu ms tan ces an d

o ,

co n sequen t t ruckl ing co nd uc t had red uced h im t o t he

wretched necessi t y f m aking b as Fur l o g t he
o sa e a cu r n

i n m a t e f h is hou se B u t
o i t was . so .

Th e fam ily bega n a t l as t sus pec t t h e r e a l s t a te f to o

5 20 Ha n d y A n d y
t h e case and all wer e su rpri sed excep t the ld dowage r
,
o ;
S h h ad ex pected w ha t was com in g a nd had p repared
e ,

herself fo r it A ll her pisto l practice w w it h a v ie w

. as

to cal l Fu r long to the last arb itrame nt for th i s S light

“

t o her ho us e G usty was t oo you ng She cons idered for

.
, ,

t he d uty ; t herefore She i n he r fantast i c way o f looki n g

,

at t h e m atter l ooked u po n b e r se b as the head of th e

,
"

fam ily a nd a s such determi n ed t o r e sen t t he a ff ron t

, , ,

put u po n i t .

B u t o f her re al d es ign t h e fam ily a t Neck o r Noth ing - -

H al l had n o t t h e remotest n ot ion O f co urse an o ld .

,

l ady going abou t w ith a pistol powd er fla sk a nd bu llets ,

-

, ,

and practisi ng o n t h e t ru n ks o f th e t rees i n the park ,

cou l d no t pass without obs e r v ation an d su r m ises t here ,

were o n th e subject ; then her occas io n a l excl ama t ion

of
“
Tremble v illai n ,
wou l d es cape he r ; and some .

t imes in the fami ly c irc le a fter sitting for a w hi l e in a ,

S t at e o f abstraction She wou l d li ft her attenuated hand

,

arm e d with a kn itt i ng n eedle o r a ball o f wo rsted an d

-

ass u m ing t he actio n o f poi si ng a pi stol execu te a smart ,

cli ck w it h he r t ongu e
”
a nd say I h i t h i m that ti me
“
, , .

These ex c l amations i nd i cati ve o f vengeance w ere

, ,

su pposed a t length by th e family to apply t o Edward

O C o n n o r b ut exc ited pity rather than alarm When
’
.
, ,

h oweve r on e morn i ng the dowage r was nowhere t o b e

, ,

fou nd an d Ratty and t he p istols had also d isappeared

, ,

an i n qu i ry w as i ns t i tuted as to the o ld lady s wh ere ’

abou ts and M ou n t Eskar was o n e o f th e fi rs t places

,

w her e s h e was sought b u t w ithou t s ucc e ss ; and al l

,

ot he r i n q u i r i es were equ a l ly u na v ailing .

The o ld l ady had cont ri ve d w ith th a t cu n n ing p e c u ,

l i ar to i n sane people to g et away from t he ho us e at

,

an early hou r i n t he morn i ng u nknow n t o all excep t ,

Ra t ty t o who m s h e co n fided her i ntention a nd he

, ,

managed to get h er o u t o f t h e dom ain u nobser v ed ,

a nd t h en ce toget he r t hey proc e eded to D ubli n i n a post

c h a ise.
5 2 2 Ha n dy A n dy
d ress e d i b l ack and e n ve l o p e d i n a r ich vei l o f th e
n ,

same glided i n to t he room

,
.

wy S pan is h ! exc l ai med Fu rlong as b ”

“
H w o ve , e

ad van ced to meet h i s in cogn ita who as soo n as h , , s e

en tered l ocked th e door and withd r ew the key

, , .

”
“
Q u ite p w i d i n such w a ff airs
a c t se sai d F ur se c et ,

lo ng sl ily Fa i lady allow m e

. t ouch you fai’

, to
’ ’

h and a nd lead y ou t o a seat

,
.

The my sterious s tr anger m ad e n o answ e r b u t li fting ;

h er long v ei l tu rned rou nd ,th e l ispi ng d andy w ho on ,

staggered back w hen the dowager O G dy ap peared ,

’
ra

befo r e h im d raw n u p t o h e r full heigh t and anyth ing

, ,

bu t an agreeabl e ex pres sion i n h er eye S h e stal ked u p .

toward s h im som e th i ng i n the Sty l e f a spec t re i n a

, o

romance whi ch h was n ot v e ry u nl ike and as she

,
s e ;
ad v anced he re t reat e d nti l h e got t he t b l e betwee n
, ,
u a

h im an d th is m os t u n welcome ap paritio n .

”
“ I am com e said t he d owager w ith an om i nous , ,

t one f v oice o .

V wy happy f t h e h ono I am su r e M i w ’
“ st e ss
e o , ,

O G w dy
’
faltered F u r lo ng
a ,
.

T h e aven ger has com e Fu r long o pened h is eyes .

”
.

I h a v e come to wash t he stai n ! said she tappi ng ”

,

h er finge r s i n a thea t rical ma n n e r t h e table an d as it on , ,

happen ed sh e poi nted to a l arg e b l otch f in k o n th e

,
o

table co v er Fu rlong opened h i s eyes w i der tha n eve r

-
.
,

and t h ough t his t h e queerest bit o f m ad n ess he e v er

t
h ea r d f howe v er th in king i t best to h um ou r her he
o ; , ,

an swered Yes it was a littl e wk w d

,
“
,
f m i ne a a
’
n e ss o

I pset t he i n kstand the oth e d ay

u
’
.

“
D o yo u moc k me i said sh e w i th i nc re asi ng , s r ? ”
,

bit t ern ess .

La ! Mi w O G w dy
’

,
no st e ss a .

I ha v e co me I say to wash i n you r b l ood t h e

, ,
ou t

s tai n you h a v e da red to put th e n ame f O G dy on o

’
ra .
”

F u rlong gasped w ith mi ngled amazemen t an d fear .

“ Tremble v il lai n ! S h e s ai d a n d s h e p oin t ed

,
”
;
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 3 2

t oward h im h e r l ong a tte n ua te d fing e r w i t h portent ou s

so l e m n i t y .

“ I w lly a m q u i te a t a l oss M i w O G w dy t o
ea ,
st e ss
’
a ,

co mpw h d e en

B e fore h e cou ld fi nis h h is s e n t en ce t h e do wage r had ,

d rawn from t he d e p t hs f her side pockets a brace f o -

o

p is t o ls a nd presen t i ng t hem t o Fu rlong sa id B e at a

, , ,

lo ss no longer e xcept t h e l oss f li fe w hich m ay e ns u e

,
o

t ak e you r choice f weapo n s i o , s r.

”

Gw i H eav e n ! e x c l ai m e d Fur l o ng t r e mb l i n g
ac o u s ,

fro m head t o foo t .

“ Y ou won t choos e t h en ? said t h e dowag e r

’

,
”
.

We ll there ,
f y
’
and
s one she l aid
or a pi s t o
oul b ; e

fo r e h im w i th as co u r t eou s man ne r as i f s h e w e re a

making h i m a b ir t hday pr e s e n t .

Fu rlong s t ared dow n u po i t w i t h a l oo k f horro r n o .

N w we m us t t oss f choic e f gro un d said th e ”

o or o ,

d owager I hav e
.
“ money abou t me for I paid my
no ,

l as t half crown t o t h e pos t boy b u t t h is w il l do as w e l l

- -

for a t oss a ny t h i ng e lse

as and Sh e l a id h e r ha n ds o n ;
t h e d ress ing glass h Spoke Now t h e call s ha ll be
-
as s e .

‘
s afe ,
’
s mas h
or
‘
w hoev e r ca ll s safe i f t he glass
;
’
‘
,
’

com es d ow n u nb rok en has t h e choi ce and i ,

a ,
v ce v er s
’

I cal l fi Sm b
rs t said th e dowager as sh e fl ung
as
,
’

u
p t h e d ressi ng glass w hich fell i n Sh iv e rs th e floor on
-
.
,
“ I hav e w said h o n, ob lige m e S i r by s t an di n g
S e ;
“
, ,

i n t hat far corn e r I hav e t h e ligh t i n my back . an d

y ou w i ll hav e som e t h in g else i n
”
you rs b e fo re lo ng t ak e ;
yo u r grou nd i ,
s r.

Furlong fi nd i ng h im s el f t h us cooped u p w ith a m ad

,

woman i n a n agony f te rror s udd enly bethough t h im

, o

self f i ns t a n c e s h e had heard f escap e u n de r S im i lar

o o ,

c i rcu ms t a n ces by co in c id i ng ,
a cer t ai n e x en t w ith t h e to t
v i e ws f t h e i ns ane peopl e an d s ugges t ed
o th e dowag e r,
to
t h a t h e h op e d Sh e w oul d n o t in sis t a d u el w i t hou t on

t h e i r hav i ng a friend pr e sent .

“ I b e g you r pardon i s aid t he ld l ady ,

I qu ite
s r,
”
o
“
5 2 4 Ha n d y A n d y
forgo t that form i n t he exc it e me nt f t he m oment
, o ,

t hough I h a v e overlooked t h e necess ity a l togeth er

n ot ,
”
a nd hav e come p rov ided wit h one .

A l low m e t o wi ng for h im said Furlong rushi ng to ,

”
,

t h e b ell .

“ S top ! e x clai med th e dowage r lev elling her pisto l ,

at t he be ll pu ll -
touch it a nd y a re a dead m an ,
ou

Furlon g stood riv eted t o t he Spo t where his rus h had

been a rrested .

No i nterru ptio n i t ill t hi s l itt le a ff air is settled

,
s r, .

H er e i my frien d S he added putti ng her h and i nto her

s ,
”
,

po cke t and pu lling ou t t h e wooden cuc koo f h e r c lock o .

My l itt le b ird i w i ll fair be t ween us

,
s r, an d h se e ; s e

pe rc hed th e pa in ted wood en t h ing w ith a b it of fea t her ,

grotesqu el y sticki ng up f i ts n e t h e r end theout o , on

m orocco letter case -

.

O h Lo rd said F u rl ong .

H e a gentlem an f t he n ices t hon ou r S ir

S said
o ,

t h e dowager paci ng b ack to th e w in dow

,
.

Fu rl ong t oo k ad v antage f the opport u n ity f her back o o

b e i ng t urn ed and ru shed a t the bel l wh ich he pu lled

, ,

wi th grea t fu ry .

The dowager wheeled rou nd w ith haste S o yo u .

“

h ave ru ng said h ,
”
but it s h all n o t avai l y ou
s e, the
d oor i s loc ked t ake you r weapon S i r ; q u ic k ! , ,

wha t a coward
W lly M i w O G w dy I c an n o t t h i n k
’
ea ,
st e ss f a ,
o

d eadly a r b it ram ent w ith a lady .

Les s wou ld you l ik e it w ith a man p l said ,

o t r oon

s h e, w ith an exaggerated ex pres sio n o f co ntem p t i n her

”
man n e r .However h add ed i f you a coward
,
s e ,
a re ,

you Shall hav e a coward s pu n ish ment S he went to a ’

.

corn er whe r e s t ood a gr e a t v arie t y f handsome c anes o ,

and l ayi ng hold of bega n sou nd ly t o th rash Fu rlong

o ne , ,

who fe ared to mak e a ny res ist nce attempt to d isarm a or

h er f th e c an e fo r the pisto l was y e t i n her other ha nd

o ,
.

Th e b el l w a nswered by t h e s e rvant w ho
as fi d , ,
on n
 Ha n dy A n dy
“ S om e m ad o ld reb el I suppose said M ajo r S i r , , .

“ Do yo u re member
9 8 m a a m said t
’
h e m ajo r ,
’
.

“ I n deed I do s ir and I remember y ou too : M ajor

,

S i r I hav e t h e h onour t o addr ess if I don t m istake ”

,
’
.

Yes m a a m Wh at then
,
’
.

I re member we l l i n 9 8 w hen yo u were searching ’

for r e be l s y o u thought a m an was con cealed i n a dairy

,

yard i n t h e neigh bou rhood o f my moth er s hous e m ajo r ’

, ,

i n S te phen s G ree n ; a n d you thought h e was h id i n a

’

hay rick a nd ordered you r sergean t to ask for the loan o f

-

a s p it fro m my mo t h er s kitc h en to prob e t h e hay stack

’ ”
.

O h ! then m adam y our mo t h e r was loy a l I

, , ,

s u ppose .

M ost loyal Sir ,

.

G i v e t h e l ady a chai r s aid the major ,

.

Thank yo u I don t want it — but majo r wh e n

,
’

, ,

you as ked for t he spit my mother t hought you w e r e ,

going to prac t ise one o f you r delightfu lly i nge n ious b i t s

of pu nish ment a nd asked the se r gean t wbo it wa s y ou
,

we r e g oing t o r oa st
The majo r grew l i v i d o n t he ben ch w her e h e sa t a t ,

t h is awkward remi niscence of o n e o f h is friends and a ,

d ead si lence reigned th roug h th e crowded o fli c e He .

recovered h i msel f however and addressed M rs O G ra dy

, , .
’

i n a m umb li ng man n er telling h e r s he m ust g i v e security

,

to keep t h e peace herse l f — an d fi nd frien ds as s u ret ies

,
.

O n asking her b a d sh e a n y fr iends t o a ppear for her she ,

dec lared Sh e had .

“ A g e ntleman of the n ices t honou r s i r said th e , ,

d owag er pulli ng h e r c uckoo from h e r pock e t and hold

, ,

ing i t u p in V ie w o f t h e whole o ffi ce .

A shou t of laugh ter o f cou rs e followed The a ff air

, , .

becam e a t o n c e u nde rstood i n its true l ight ; a m ad o ld

l ady — a paltry coward — Se c Se c T h os e w ho know , .

t he exc i t ab ility an d fun o f an I r ish m ob wi ll not won der

th at whe n t he sto r y got ci rcu lated from th e o fli c e t o t h e
,

c rowd w ithout w hic h i t d id with lightn i ng rapid ity t h e

, ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 7
2

o ld l ady ,
on bei ng p l ac e d i n a h ack n ey coach wh ich w as
-

s e n t f w ha iled w it h a cho rus f C uckoo ! by

o r, as o
“ ”

t h e m u lti t ud e ,
half f w hic h ra n afte r t he coach as
one o

l on g as th ey co u ld keep pace w ith i t sho u t i ng fo rth t he

,

S p r in g tim e ca l l and th e other h al f followed Fur l ong t o

-

the Cas tle wi t h h isses a nd o t he r m ore art icu l a te dem on

,

i
s t ra t o n s of t h e i r cont e m p t
.
 C H A PTE R X LV

HE fa t a n d fai r W ido w F l an aga n had at l ength

T gi v en u p sh i l ly s h a l ly in g an d y ieldin g to t h e
-

,
, ,

ferv e nt e ntreaties o f T o m D u r fy h ad con sen ted t o n a me ,

t he happy day S h e wou ld h a v e some littl e way s o f her

.

o wn about it how e ver a nd i ns t ead of being married i n

, ,

t h e cou ntry i n s is t ed o n t h e n u ptial knot being t ied i n

,

D ublin Th ither the w idow repaired wit h her swai n t o

.

com plete t he s t i pu l a t ed t im e of residen ce with in som e

met ropol ita n parish before th e weddi ng co uld tak e place .

I n t h e meanwh il e t hey e njoyed a ll the gaiety the ca pital

pr e sented the t im e gl ided sw i ftly by an d Tom was
, ,

w ith in a day o f bei ng m ade a h a ppy m an when as h e , ,

was h asten ing t o t he lodgi n gs o f t h e fa i r widow who ,

w as waiti ng wi th he r bonn e t and shawl on to be esco rted

t o t h e bota n i ca l ga rden s a t G lasne v i n he was accosted ,

by an o d d looki ng pe r son o f somewh a t si n ister aspect

-
.

“
I be l iev e I h a v e t h e hono u r o f add ressin g M ister
T o m an swered i n t he a ffi rm ati v e
”
D u r fy , s ir ? .

Tb oma s D u rfy Es qu ire I th ink s ir ? , , ,

Yes .

Th is is for you s ir h e sa id han d ing T o m a piece

, , ,

o f d i rty p ri nted paper and a t the sam e t i me layi ng h is

,

h and o n To m s shoulder a n d executing a sm irking sort

’

o f g r in wh ich he mean t to be th e pattern o f po l iteness

, ,

added You l l excu se m e si r bu t I arres t you u nder

,
“ ’

, ,

a warran t from the H igh S he r i ff o f th e c ity o f D ubl i n ;

always sorry s ir f o r a g in t le ma n i n d e ffi c u lt ie s bu t i t S
, , ,
’

”
my duty .
5 30 Ha n dy A n dy
sheri ff s o ffi cer
’
s , u rgin g h i ord e rs by a nudg e
o r t wo o n

To m s e lbow
’
.

“
D o n t Sho v e m e s ir ! said T o m rath e r angrily
’

, , ,
“ o r by
G
“ —
A isy s ir aisy ! ff
sa id t he baili ; though I feel
“
,

for th e d e ffi c u lt ie s o f a g in t le ma n the capt ion must be ,

made s ir If you don t li ke the p ris n I hav e a n ice

, .
’ ’

l ittle room 0 my own Sir w he re y o u can wa it for a

’

, , ,

s mal l con s iderat i on u nt i l y ou get bail ”

, .

“
I ll go th e re t hen said T o m
’ ”
,
“ Go throu gh as , .

priv at e Streets as you can ”

.

G i v e m e half a gui n ea f o r m v t roub l e s ir an d I l l

- -

, ,
’

ambu l ate y ou th ro ugh l anes e ve ry f u t o t h e way ” ’

.

Ve ry w e ll said Tom
”
, .

They now St ruc k i nto a shabby Str e e t a nd t hen ce ,

we nded through stable lanes fi lthy alleys u p greasy , ,

broken st e ps th rough o n e close a nd down steps i n

, ,

anoth e r — t hreaded da r k passages whos e debouchu r es

were b locked u p w i th posts to pre ve n t v eh i cu lar con v ey
a nce t he accu m u lated d ir t of y ears sen sible to the tr ead
,

fr om its l um py u ne v e n n ess an d the stag nant ai r ri fe ,

wi th p e s t i len ce Tom felt i ncr e asi ng d isgust at e v ery

.

st e p he proceeded but anyt hing t o h i m a ppeared better

,

t ha n bei ng see n i n the public s treets i n s uc h com pany ;

fo r u nti l they got into t h es e laby rinths o f n asti ness
, ,

T o m thought h e saw i n the looks o f e v ery passe r b y as -

p lai n ly t old as i f t h e words wer e S poken There goes a ,

fel low u nder t h e care of t he baili ff ”

I n t hese b y way s .
-

h e had n o t any objecti on to s peak to his com pa nion and ,

for the firs t t im e asked h im what he was arrest e d for .

A t th e Su it o f M r M K a il Sir ”
.
’

,
.

O h ! t he t ai lor ? said To m
”
.

”
Yes si r said t he baili ff
, ,
A nd i f yo u wou ld n o t .

co nsider it t rifl in g wit h the feeli ngs o f a g in t le ma n i n

d e fli c u lt ie s I wou ld make the play ful observa t io n Sir
, , ,

t hat i t s q u ite i n ch aracter

’
t o b e arr e s te d a t t h e su it o f
a t a il o r H e ! he ! h e !
.
”
 Ha n dy A n dy 53 x

Y oua wag I s e e s aid T m

’
re , ,
o .

O h n o i on ly a poe t ic t u rn a sma ll a ff e ctio n I

,
s r, :

hav e c e r t ain ly for J udy M bu t my rale passi on i t he ot , s

m u ses We a re n ot far n ow i fro m my l itt le bow e r

.
,
s r,

o f re pose — whic h is the nam e I gi v e my hu mb l e abod e

s m a l l bu t sn ug i
,
You l l ano t her g i l m
,
s r.
’
se e nt e an

t here s i r b efore y
, ,
H e is w i i f b ai l these t h r e e
ou. a t n
’
or

or fo ur day s i c an t pay as h e o ugh t f t he

, s r— m ’
or
’
co

md i o bu t h
at on , a friend m in e I may almo s t y
e
’
s 0
’

, sa ,

S ir — li ha i l m
t — t h e m li h
e ra r i l
nt em an t e ra r nt e en
y g y g
i s alway s i n d ffi l i m os tl y I su p pose y e cu t e s a . ou
’
re

li ht i
e ra r l m S ir — t hough
nt e ra t h e r i l
’
nt e e
y g y a n,
”
g y ou re

d h re ss e d f o r one ?
No said ,
“ I am n o t T o m, .

“
I t h ough t y o u wo r Si r by b e in g acquai n te d w i t h , ,

t hi s ot her g in t le ma n ”
.

An ac q u ai n t a n ce o f m in e sai d T o m with s u rpri se ,

.

Y e s S ir I n S hor t i t wa s t h rough h i m I fou nd o u t

, .

wh e re you wo r s ir I h av e had t h e wre t agen y o u for

,
.

some t im e bu t cou l d n t m ake y o u o ff t i ll my fri e nd

,
’

say s I m us t carry a n o te fro m h i m t o y o u ”

.

Where is th e no te ? i n q u i red T o m
”
.

“
N o t r e ady ye t s ir I t S p o t h ry h e s writ in ’ ’ ’ ’
.
,

som eth ing p ithy h e said a n d l ame t o o I d u nn a ’

,
‘
.

how a th i n g cou ld b e p ithy an d l am e t og et h e r b u t t h e m ,

pot e s ha s hard w o rd s a t co mm an d ”
.

Then y o u c ame away without t h e n o te

“
Yis sir A S soon a s I fou n d o u t w he r e y o u wo r
, .

Sto ppi ng I ran o ff d irect l y o n M r M K a il s l i t tl e bu s i ness .

’ ’
.

Yo u 11 exc use t h e lib erty s i r ; b u t w e mu st all m i n d o u r

’

professio ns ; t h ough indeed s ir if y o u b l ie v e m e I d , , ,

’

,
’

rathe r nab a rhym e t ha n a g in t le ma n a ny day ; an d i f I

cou ld ge t o n t h e p re ss I d q u i t t h e Shou ld e r t app ing ’
-

”
p rofess ion .

T o m cas t a n e ye o f wo n der o n t he ba i l i ff w hich t h e ,

l at t er com preh e n ded a t onc e ; for w i t h hab i t ua l n i m b l e

ne ss he cou ld n ab a man s t hough t s a s fas t a s his p e rso n ’
.
53 2 Ha n dy A n dy
I k now w ha t y hi k i i cou l d
ou
’
f my
re t n
’
n , s r o ne o

p ro fessio n pu rs ue th e m uses ? D o n t t hi n k i I m an e ’

, s r,

I cou ld wr ite t he l ad e rs the p lli ik l ar ic l es b u t ’

or o t
’
t ,

the cri m inal cases i — t h e robberi es an d ffi ,

s r o nce s

w ith the watc hhouse c ases tog e th e r with a lit t l e —

p o th
’

y n o w r and t he n I t h ink I cou l d be u s e fu

. l i , s r,

a n d d o bet t er t han som e f t he c ha ps tha t pic k u p thei r o

h p a
’
t hat way B ut h er e my p l ac e i — my l i t tl e
e nce .
’
S , s r

bower f r e pos e o .

H e k nocked a t t h e door f a s mal l tu mb l e down hous e o -

i n a filthy lan e t h e w in dow i t pr e sent e d i n fron t

,
o ne

being barred with i ron S o m e bolts w e r e d rawn i nsid e .

,

a nd thou gh t h e man w ho opened t h e doo r w forbidd ing as

i n hi aspect h e d id no t r e fuse t o l et Tom i n Th e

s ,
.

po rtal was h asti ly c losed a n d bo lt ed after they h ad

entered T he smell f th e ho us e was p e s t i l en t ia l
. o th e
ent ry dead dark .

“G iv e me you r ha n d i said t h e baili ff l e ad i ng , s r, ,

T m forward
o T hey ascended som e c r e ak i ng s t a irs
.
,

a n d t he b a i l i ff fu mb li ng for som e t im e w i t h a key at a

,

d oor u n l oc k e d i t and s hov ed it o pen an d t he n led i n h i s

, ,

c apt ive T m w a Shabby gentee l so rt f person whos e

. o sa -
o ,

back was towards h im d irecting a l etter , .

Ah Goggin s
“
,
said t h e write r y com e ,
“
ou
’
re

back i n t he n ick f t ime I hav e fin ished n ow an d y ou

o .
,

m ay take the l e tt e r M is te r D fy to ur .
”

Y may gi v e it to hi m you rse l f Sir rep l i e d Gog

ou , ,

gins for he r e h e i
,
s.

Ind e ed said th e w rit e r t u r n i ng rou nd , .

Wha t e xc l ai med T m D fy i n s u rp ri s e o ur
, ;
“
James R e d dy !
Ev e n sa id James w ith a se nt i m ent a l
so, , air

T h p a ths f g l ry l ad bu t h gra v
’
e o o e to t e e .

L i t eratu r e is a b ad t rad e my dear T m ! — i a n , o

’
t s

u ngrate fu l world — m en f t he highest aspi rations may o

lIe i n gao l f all th e wor l d cares n o t t ha t you co me

or ;
 C HA PTE R X LV I

D WAR D O C ONN O R o n hea ri ng from G us t a v u s

E
’

o f t h e o ld dowager s d isappearan ce from Neck o r

’
-

Not hi ng H all joi ned i n t h e eager i n q u iri e s whi ch were

,

m ad e about her ; a nd b is bei ng d ir e c t ed wi t h more

m ethod an d j udg ment th an t h o se o f oth ers t hei r resu l t ,

was mo r e satis fa c to ry H e soon took u p the t r ai l to

“ .
”
,

u s e a n I nd ia n p h rase and h e and G usty were not many

,

h ou rs i n posti ng after t h e old l ady They a rr i ved in .

t own early i n th e mo r n i ng and lost no ti me i n cast i ng ,

about for information

-
.

O ne of the fi rst places Edward i n qui red at was t h e

i n n w h e r e t h e postchaise gen e r ally d r o v e to fr om the
house w h ere the old d owager had obta in ed her car r iage
i n t h e cou nt ry ; but the r e n o t r ace was to be had .

Next the pr in c ipal hotels we r e referred to but as yet

, ,

witho u t su ccess ; when as th ey t u r ned i nto one o f t he

,

lead ing st reets i n co nti n u an ce o f their sea r c h their ,

attent ion was attrac t ed by a c rowd swayin g to and fr o i n

t h at pecu liar ma n ner w hich i n d ica t es th ere i s a fi gh t
i nsid e o f it G rea t ex citement pr e v ail ed o n th e v e rg e
.

of t h e c rowd where excl am at ions e scap e d fro m those

,

w h o cou l d get a peep at the figh t .

T h e l it t le chap has great hea rt ! c r ied o n e

”
.

B u t t h e sweep is th e bi gge st said another

”
,
.

Well don e H or isb ! ” l

,
c r ied a blackgu ard w ho ,

enjoyed the t r iu mph of h i s fellow .

1 Th a m f a c l bra t d sw p i I re la d wh o s e n a me is
e n e o e e e ee n n

a pp l i d t o t h e wh o l
,

e e .
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 35
“ B rav o ! l i ttle fe ll ow rejo i ned a gen tee l pers on , ,

w ho rejoi ced i n som e Su ccessfu l h i t o f t he o t h er co m

b a t a nt There i s an i n heren t lo v e i n men to se e a
.

fi ght wh ic h Edward O C
,
Sh ared w ith i n ferior men
’
onno r

an d i f b h ad not peeped i nto t he rin g most assu red ly

e ,

G u sty wou ld W hat was th ei r asto n ishm ent wh e n

.
,

they got a gli m ps e f t he p gi lists to percei v e Ratty o u ,

was oneof t hem h is an t ago n ist bei ng a sweep t alle r ,

by a head and n o bad h an d at th e no ble s ci en ce

,
.

Edward s first im pu lse was t o sepa r ate th em bu t

’

G usty requested he wo u l d say in g t hat h e saw by n ot ,

R y at t ey e he was able t o l ick t he fellow

’
s Ratty “
.
”

certai nly showed grea t fight w ha t the swe ep had i n ;

su perior size was equalized by the su perior ga me o f “

t he ge ntleman boy to who m t he in dom itab le cou age

-

,
r

o f a high bl ooded race h ad desce nded and wh o wou ld

-

s oon e r have d ied th a n yie ld Bes id es Ratty was n o t de .

,

fi i c e nt i n t h e us e o f h i s bu n c h of fives h i t hard f , or

h is s ize an d was very agi le th e swee p someti mes mad e

,
:

a rus h grappled a n d got a fall b u t h e n e v er w e n t in

, , ;
wi t hou t get t ing som e t h i ng fro m Ra tt y t o remembe r “

h im and was no t a l way s u p pe rm os t A t la s t bot h

,
”
.
,

w e re far pu n ished an d t he com ba t no t bein g l ik e ly

so ,

to be speed ily en ded ( for t h e swee p was no c rav e n ) ,

t hat t h e bystan ders i nterfe red dec l aring t ha t they ,

“

ough t t o b e separa t ed and th ey were ,

”
.

Whil e t h e crowd was d ispers i ng Ed ward ca lle d a ,

coach and be fo re Ra tt y cou ld com preh en d how t he

;
a ff ai r was man aged h e was shov ed i n t o it a n d d ri v e n
,

fro m t h e scen e of act io n Ratty had a co n fused sen se .

o f heari ng lo ud Shouts — f being l ifted somewhere o

o f d irectio n s give n t he rat t l e of iron Steps cli n ki n g

—

Sh arply — t wo t hree fierc e bangs f a do or that

or o

wou ld n t shu t a nd t h en an awful shaking which

’

, ,

rou sed h im u p from t he co rn er f t h e veh ic le i n to o

wh ich h e h ad fa ll en i n the firs t mom ent f exhaus t ion o .

Ratty shook hi s feathe rs d ragg e d hi hair from out

“
, s
5 36 Ha n dy A n dy
of h is ey e s w h ich were g et t ing v e ry b l ack i nd ee d an d
, ,

a ppl ied his h andkerchief to his nose wh ic h was m uch i n ,

n eed f that deli cat e at te n t io n an d when the sen s e o f

o ;
p erfect v i sio n was res t ored to h im wh ic h w as n o t for ,

so m e ti me (al l th e colou rs f the ra i nbow d anci ng befo r e o

R y eyes f
at t
’
s m any seconds aft e r the figh t ) wh at was
or ,

h is s u rpri se to Ed ward O C a n d G usty S itti ng

se e
’
o nn o r

on t h e o ppos it e seat !
It was so m e t i m e befor e Rat t y cou l d qu ite compre
he nd h i s pres e n t S ituatio n bu t as soo n as h e was m ade ;
s e nsib l e of it and could answer t h e firs t q u e s t ion s asked
, ,

o f h i m w ere abou t h is grand mother Rat ty fortu na t e l y .

r e memb e red the n ame f the hot el wh e re She pu t p o u ,

t h ough he had l eft it as soo n as the ld l ady proce eded o

t o t h e Castle — h ad l os t h i s way — a nd got e ngaged i n

a quarrel w ith a sweep i n t h e mea n t i me .

The coach was o r de r ed to d ri v e t o t h e h o t e l n am ed ;

and how th e fight occu rred was th e ne x t qu e stio n .

Th e sweep was pass in g by a n d I called hi m s now ,

ba l l,
’
said Ra t ty and t he b l ackgu ard r e t urned an
;
“

i m puden t a nswer and I hi t him ,

.

You had n o righ t to ca ll h im Sn ow said ‘

Edward .

“ I alway s cal l ed the swe e ps s n ow ba ll d own at ‘ -

’

t h e Hall said Ratty and they n e ve r answered

,
”
,
“
.
”

When you ar e your w t erri t ory y ou may y on o n sa

wha t you please to you r d e pen d ent s Ratty an d t hey , ,

d are no t an swer or t o a v u lgar saying A cock

; u se ,
‘

may c row o n h is w o n

I m n o d ungh i ll cock ! said Ra t ty fie rc e ly

’ ”
,
.

“ Inde ed you re ,
said Edwa r d l ayi ng his h a n d
’
n ot ,
”
,

ki nd ly o n the boy s s hou l d e r y ha v e plenty ’

f ;
“
ou o
”
cou rage .

“
I d hav e l icked h i m said Ra tty i f t hey d hav e
’

, ,
’

l et me have w or t h re e rou nds m ore t o .

”

My dear b y other t h ings are n e e d fu l i n this wor l d

o ,

b e s ides c ou rage Prude nce tem per and forb eara n c e

.
, ,
 Ha n dy A n dy
H e m us t b e a l lowed t o remain b
n ot t er e , howev er
we manage t o ge t hi m out sai d Edward , ;
“
p e rh a s
p I
can hel p y ou i n th e a ff ai r .
”

“You a l w ays a good fe l low Ned

’
re , ,
said D ic k ,

sh aki ng h is han d warm ly .

Edward esca ped from heari ng any prai se of h imself

by p r oposi ng t h ey s hou ld repai r at once to the s pongi ng
ho use a nd see h ow matte rs stood D ick lam en ted he
,
.

sh ou ld be called aw ay at suc h a momen t for h e was ,

j us t goin g to get h i s wi n e r eady fo r the pa r ty p a r t ic u

la rly some ch am pag ne whic h h e was d esi r ou s o f see ing

,

well iced ; b ut as h e cou ld not wait to d o i t hi mself he ,

called A n dy to giv e hi m di rect ions about it an d s e t o ff

, ,

w ith Ed ward to the rel ie f of Tom D u rfy .

A ndy was on ce mo re i n s er v ice in the Egan fam ily ;

for t h e S qu ire on finding h im sti l l mor e closely l ink e d
,

by h is marriage with the d es pe r at e pa r ty whos e i n fl uence

o v er Andy was to be dreaded took ad v an tage o f A ndy s ,
’

disgus t agai n st the wo man w h o h ad ent rapped h im and ,

o ff ered to take h i m o ff to Lon do n i nstead of en l isting ;

an d as A ndy be lie v ed h e would b e th ere su ffi c iently ou t
o f th e way of the false B ridget h e came o ff at on ce to ,

D ub li n wi th D ic k who was th e p ion eer o f t h e party

,

to Lon don .

D ick gave A ndy the n ecessa ry d i r ec t ions for i c ing the

c h ampagne w h ich he set apa rt an d po inted o u t most pa r
,

t ic u la rly to ou r hero lest h e Shou l d mak e a m istake and

,

perc han ce ice the po r t i nstead .

After Edwa r d a nd D i ck h ad gon e A ndy c om m e nced ,

O pe rat ion s acco rd i ng to orders He broug h t a la rge t ub .

p stai r s co ntai n ing ro ugh ice wh ic h excited A ndy s

’
u -

wo nder for h e ne v er h ad known t ill now that ice was

,

preserv ed for an d app lied t o such a u se fo r a n ic e house ,

-

d i d n o t h appe n t o b e attach e d t o any establish men t in

wh ic h he h ad served .

“
We ll t h is is the quares t t hing I e v er he e rd of
, ,

said A ndy . M usha ! wha t out la nd is h i nv ent ions th e

 Ha n dy A n dy 5 39

q uol i ty has am ong t hem ! They n o t co n t i nt wi th ’

re

w i n e but t hey m ust have ic e along w it h i t

,
an d i n a
t ub t oo j u s t l i k e pigs ! h h it a d irt y h i k I
,
— t ro t
’
S t r c ,

t hi nk Wel l here goes ! said h e an d A ndy o pened

.
, ;
a bott l e of cha m pagne and po u red i t i nto t he t ub w it h ,

t h e i ce . H ow i t fi s aid A n dy Faix i t
z z es l , ,
’
s a

m ost as l ively as t he soda wa t her t h at bothered m e long -

ago We l l I know more about t hings n ow sure it s

.
, ;
’

w d h f l how a man im p r o v es w ith practi ce !

”
on er u

an d an oth e r bott l e f cham pagn e was e m pt ied i n to t h e

o

t ub as he Spoke Th us w ith s e v eral other com place n t

.
,

co m men t s u po n h i s w p r oficiency A ndy pou red h al f

o n ,

a— dozen f c ham pagne i nto th e t ub f ice and remarked

o o , ,

wh en he h ad fi n is hed h is wo r k t hat he t hough t it wo uld ,

b e m igh t y wl d t heir s t omac hs

co on .
”

D ic k and Edward a ll t h is ti m e wer e t hei r way to on

t he re l i ef f T m D fy w h o t houg h he had cooled

o o ur
, ,

down from the boi l ing pi t ch to w h ic h t he m isadv e nt u re-

o f t h e mo rn ing h ad rai s e d hi m w s t i l l imm i g w it h ,

as s er n ,

h is e lbow s p l anted t h e ricke t y t ab l e in M r Gogg in s

on .
’

“
bower an d h i ch in r e s t i ng
,
”
s hi s cl en ch ed han d s on .

I t was t he very state f m i nd i n whi ch T m w most o o as

dangerous .

A t t he other sid e f t h e t ab l e J ames Reddy

o sat ,

intently e mp loyed i n writ ing h is pu rsed mo ut h an d ;

k n itted b rows bespoke a labou ring state o f though t an d ,

t he v ario u s crossin gs i n t erl in ings a nd blott i ngs gave d

, ,
a

di it o na l ev id en c e f t he same w hile now a nd t hen a rus h

o ,

at a l i n e w hi ch was k n ock ed ff i n a h urry w ith Sl ash o ,

i ng dash es f t h e pe n an d fierc e after crossi ngs f

o ,
-
o t s,
’

and de t e rm ined d ott i ngs f i d ecl ared so m e t hought o

’
s,

su dden ly se ized a n d execu t ed w ith bitter tr i u m ph

,
.

Y seem v ery b ppy i y

ou
lf i n w h at a you a re n ou rse

w riti ng ,
s aid T m
”
Wha t i s it ? I i t a n o t he r
o .
“ S

e pithalam i u m
“ I t is a caus t i c ar t ic l e agai ns t t h e su ccess fu l me n f o
54 0 Ha n d y A n d y
t he day said R e ddy t hey hav e n o m eri t i — n o ne
,
“
, s r .

T is nothing bu t luc k has placed the m w here t hey are

’

a n d t h ey ought to be ex posed H e t h e n t hrew down .

”

h is pe n as he spo ke and after a si lence f som e m in utes , ,

o ,

s udden ly put th is ques t io n to T m o

W h at d o yo u th in k f the wor l d ? o

Faith I t h ink i t
“ ’
pleasan t a p l ac e said Tom
,
so
, ,

tha t I m con fou ndedly v exed a t b eing kep t

’
f it o ut o

b bei ng lo ked u p here

y an d t ha t cu rsed ba i l i ff is so
c ;
p r ovo kingly free and easy — com i ng i n h er e ev e y t en - -
r

m i n utes and maki ng h i mself a t hom e

, .

Why as for t ha t matter it is h is hom e y

, m ust , ,
ou
”
reme mbe r .

B u t wh ile a g entl em a n i s here f a period said

“
or ,

T m o t his roo m ought t o be con sidered h is and th a t

, ,

fel low has n o bu s i ness h e re — and t h en h is bows an d

s c rapes a n d t alki ng abo ut th e feelings f a gentleman
, o ,

an d al l that i en o ugh to m ake a dog beat h is father

’
t s .

C urs e h i m ! I d li ke t o c hoke h i m ’
.
”

O h ! t ha t merely h is ma n ner s ai d J ames ’

S ,
.

Wan t f man n e rs you mean said To m o Hang , ,

”
.

m e i f h e comes u p t o m e wit h hi rascally fam il ia rity

,
s

aga in bu t I l l k i ck hi m dow n stairs

,
’
.

My dear fel low yo u a r e ex cited said Reddy , , ;

“ don t l e t thes e sublu nary ifl
’
fll you r temper tr es ru e

you how I bear i t a nd to recal l yo u to you r sel f I

se e ; ,

w i ll rem in d you f the q est ion we started fr om What o u ,

d o you t h i n k o f the world Th e re a gene ra l q ues ’

s

t io n a b road question u po n whi ch one m ay t alk with ,

tem per and soa r abo v e the pet t y gri ev an ces f l ife i n the o

g rand co ns id erat io n of so a mp l e a subj ec t Y me . ou se e

he re a prisoner li ke you rself bu t I can t a l k f b w ld

, ,
o t e or .

Co me b e a cal m ph i losoph er l ike m e ! An swer what

, , ,

do yo u t hi n k O f th e wor l d ? ”

I v e told you al r eady sai d T m

“ ’
i t a cap it al ,
o
“ ’
s
”
place on ly fo r t he bail i ff s
, .

“
I can t agree w ith y o u ’

,
sa id J ames .
“
I th i n k i t
54 2 Ha n d y A n d y
B u t t h oug h To m fe lt sa t is fact io n a t that mom e n t he ,

had too good feel i n g t o wo un d t he se l f love o f the v ai n -

creat u re befor e h im so i n s t ead f s peaking what h e ; , o

thought v iz Wh at busin es s have you to attem pt

, .
,

literatu r e y o u conce ited foo l ? he t r ied to w e an hi m

,
”

c iv illy from h is fo lly by say i ng Then come back t o ,

“

t he cou ntry James i f you find jealo us r i v als b

, ;yo u er e ,
”
kn o w y ou were alway s ad mired b t er e .
“
No s ir sai d J ames
,
e v en th e r e my m erit was
,
”
;
“

u n acknowledged .
”

No n o said To m .

Well u nderrated at least Ev en the re t b a t E d

, , .
,

ward O C o n n o r so mehow o r o t h e r I n e v er co u ld t el l
’

, ,

w hy — I n ever sa w hi s grea t talents — b ut so mehow or

ot her people go t i t i nto t h e ir heads tha t he was clever
,
”
.

“
I tel l you wha t it i s sa id Tom earn es t ly Ned
”
, , ,

o f th e H i ll
- -
has got i n t o a better plac e t han peo p l e s ’

b ea ds — h e has go t int o the ir b e a r t s !

“
There it is exclai med Ja mes ind igna ntly “ Yo u , .

have caug h t u p t h e cuckoo c ry — the hea r t ! W hy s i r -

, ,

wh at m e r it is there i n writ ing abou t feel ings w h ic h any

commo n laboure r c an com prehend The re s n o poet ry ’

i n t h at ; t r ue poetry lies in a h igher S phe r e w here yo u ,

ha v e d i ffi cu l ty i n fol lowi ng the fl ight of t h e poet and ,

possibly m ay not be fo r tu nate enough to u nders t a nd h i m

t h at S poetry si r
’ ”
, .

“ I told you I am n o poet said T o m ; b u t al l I ,

k n ow is I ha v e felt my h ea r t warm to so me o f E d
,

wa r d s songs an d by j ingo l h a v e seen the women s

’

, , ,
’

eyes gl isten a n d t heir c h eeks fl us h o r g r o w pale as they

, ,

h a v e hea rd th e m — an d that s poe tr y enough fo r me ” ’

.

“
Wel l le t M ister O C o n n o r enj oy his popu la r i ty
,
’

sir if pop ularity it m ay be c al led i n a small co u n try

, ,

circle let hi m e njoy it — I do n t en v y h im b is t hough ’

I th in k he was rat h e r jealous abou t m in e .

Ned jealou s ex cl ai med Tom i n su r prise , .

Yes jealo us ; I n e ver h eard h im say a ki nd word of

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 43
a n y v e rs e s I ev e r wro te i n my l i fe an d I am c e r t ai n h e
h as m os t u n ki n d fee l i ngs t o wards m e .
”

“
I t ell yo u w ha t it i s s aid To m get t ing u p a ,
”
,
“

bit ; I t old yo u I don t u n derstan d poet ry b u t I d

“ ’

, o un

d d what s an i nfin itely better th ing a n d tha t s

’ ’
e r st a n
,

fi n e gen e ro us man ly fee li ng and i f t h e re a h u man

, , ;
’
s

be i ng i n t he wor l d i ncapable f w ro ngi ng an oth e r i n h i o s

m in d o r hear t read i e r to help h i s fellow man i t i s

,
or -

Edward O C ’

y m or e J am e s i f y ou
o n n or : so sa no , ,

p lease .

T m had sca rcely u tte r e d t h e las t wo rd wh en t h e k ey

o
,

w t u r n ed i n the d oo r
as .

“
Her e s t h a t i n fer n a l b ai l i ff agai n !
’
sai d Tom ,

whose irri t ab i lity i nc reas e d by Reddy s pa l t ry e got is m

,
’

a n d i nj us t ic e was at i t s boi l i ng pitch o n ce m or e H e

,
-
.

p l an te d hi mse l f firm l y i n h i s chai r an d put t ing hi s ,

on

fiercest frown w d et erm i n ed to con fron t M is t er

,
as

Goggi n s w i t h an as p e c t t ha t sh ou l d as t o nish h i m .

Th e d oor op en ed and M ister G oggi n s m ad e h is ,

a p p e arance pr e se n ting ,
t he ge nt lem en i n t h e roo m to
t he b i d po rt io n f h i person whic h m ad e se e ral
n er o s ,
v

i nd ica t io n s f cou rt esy p e r form e d by th e o t he r h alf f

o o

h is body whi le he u tte r e d t h e w ords D o n t b e as o n

, ,
’
t
i h d gen tl em en t n ”
l l b e used i b and b A d
’
s e to
y y
; ou
y
- -
.
,

w ith t hes e word s he ke p t b ack i ng t oward s T m m akin g o ,

t h ese n e t her d emo n st rat io n s f c iv i li ty t i l l T m co u ld o ,

o

plai n ly t he seam s i n t h e bac k f M r G gg i

se e o . o ns s
’

pan t aloon s .

T m th ough t t h is w as som e ne w t ou ch
o f the o
“
free an d easy
- -
M ister G gg i ”
pa rt an d l o sing
on o ns s
’
, ,

al l co m m an d o f h imse l f h e j u mped from h is ch air and , ,

w i t h a v igorou s k ick gav e M ister Gogg i n s s uch a li vely

i mpression f hi s des ire t h a t h e Shou ld l eav e t h e room
o ,

t h at M is t er Goggi ns wen t head forem os t d ow n t h e

stai rs p itchin g h is w hole weight u po n D ic k D awso n
,

a n d Edward O C wh w er e ascend i ng t h e d ark

’
o n n o r, o

s t airs a n d, whom a ll h i bows had b ee n addr e sse d

to s .
5 44 Ha n dy A n dy
O v e w helmed wi t h as t o n ish men t a n d t we lve s t o n e f
r o

bail i ff they were t h row n back i nto th e hall an d a n

, ,

i mm en s e u proar i n t h e passage e n sued .

Ed ward and D ic k w er e near co m i ng i n for so me ha rd

u sage from Gogg in s con ceiv in g it mig h t be a p
, re c o n

c e rt ed attem pt on t h e pa rt o f h is pri son e r s an d th ei r

n ewly arriv ed friends to ach ie v e a rescue a nd while h e ;
was ro l li ng abo u t t he gro u nd h e roared to h i s e v i l
on ,

v isaged j an ito r t o l oo k t o th e d oo r fi r st an d keep h im ,

from b eing mu rt hered after

“ ”
.

Fortunately n o evi l co n seq uen ces ens u ed u nti l matte rs ,

cou ld be explain ed i n th e hall a n d Ed wa rd and D ick ,

w ere i nt rod uced to th e u pp e r room fro m wh ic h G oggins ,

had bee n sudden ly ejected

so .

There the bai li ff d eman ded i n a ve ry angry tone t he

cau se o f To m s co nd uct a nd wh e n it was fo u n d to b e
’

;
ly a m utu a l misu ndersta ndi ng — t ha t Gogg ins wou ld
’
on n t

ta ke a l iberty w it h a gentlem a n i n d ffi l i for the “

e cu t e s

world and tha t Tom wou ld

,
h u rt a fly on ly u nder’
n t ,

a mistake matters we re c leared u p to the sat isfact ion

o f all part ies and the real b us in ess o f th e meeting com
,

me n c e d : — t hat was to pay To m s d ebt o ut of hand ; ’

and when th e baili ff sa w all demands fees in clud ed , ,

c leared o ff th e clou ds fr o m h is b row c leared O ff also

, ,

he was t he mos t ami able o f sheri ff s o ffi cers and all ,

h is sent imentality ret urn ed .

Ed wa r d di d n ot see m q u i t e to sy m path is e wi t h h is
a mi abi li ty s o G oggi ns returned to th e c harge while
, ,

To m a nd D ick we r e exch anging a fe w words w ith

Jame s Reddy .

“
Yo u see Sir sa id Gogg ins “ i n t he fi rs t p l ace it
, , , ,

i s qu ite beautifu l to se e the m i nd i n ad v ers ity bea r ing

u p agai n s t th e l i ttle anted i lu v ia n a ffl ict ion s tha t w i ll
happen occas ionally and t h e n how fi ne i t i s to remark
,

the s park o f g e n erosity tha t kind l e s i n th e nob le heart

and ru she s to t he assistance o f th e des t i t ut e ! I do
ass u r e y ou s ir i t is a most beaut i fu l s ig h t t o see th e
, ,
5 46 Ha n dy A n dy
t h e promp t se r v i c e rend ered to hi m Edward made .

as ligh t o f h is own ki ndness as h e could and begged ,

To m to thi n k not hing of such a t rifl e .

On e word I w ill y to you D fy and I m su re sa ,

ur ,
’

yo u ll pa r don m e for it
’
.

“
C ou ld y say a th ing to fi d m e ? was th e
ou o en
”

an swer .

“ You a re to be married soo n I u nders t and ? ,

To mo r row said Tom

-

,
”
.

Wel l my d ea r D fy i f y ou w a ny m ore mon ey

,
ur ,
o e ,

t ake a rea l fri end s ad v i ce an d t ell your p r etty good

’

hea r ted w i dow t h e who le amount f you r d ebts before o

you mar ry h er .

My dea r O C said Tom t h e money you v e

’
o n n o r, ,
’

l en t m e now is al l I owe i n the wo r ld was a tai lo r s ;

’
t
’

bi ll an d I q i forgo t i t You k now no on e ever

,
u te .
,

th i nks of a t ai lo s bi ll D ebts i ndeed r added Tom

’
.
, ,

w it h su rp r ise my d ear fellow I never cou ld be m uc h

; ,

i n d ebt fo r th e d ev il a on e wou ld trus t me

,
.
”

A n excellent reason for you r u n encumbered sta t e ,

said Edwa r d and I hope y ou pa r don m e

,
.
”

Pardon ex clai med To m I esteem y ou for yo u r ,

“

k in d and man l y fran kness .

I n t he cou r se of t h ei r p r ogr e s s towards D ick s ’

l odgi ngs Edward re v ert ed to James Reddy s wretched

,
’

cond ition a nd fo u nd i t was b ut so me petty d eb t for

,

wh ic h he was arrested H e l am ented i n comm on wit h .

,

D ic k and Tom the i n fat uatio n w hich m ade h i m d es e rt

,

a d uty he cou ld profitab ly perfo rm by ass ist ing his father

i n h is farm ing con ce rns to pu rsu e a l iterary path wh ich , ,

co u ld ne v er be any other to h i m than on e f thorns o .

A Ed ward had e ngaged to meet G usty i n an ho ur

S ,

h e parted from h is com panions and pu rs u ed h is course

alon e Bu t i n s t ead f p roc e ed i ng i mm ed ia t ely hom e
.
,
o

wa r d he ret raced his st eps t o th e den of th e b ail i ff and

,

ga v e a qu iet t ap at the door M is te r Gogg in s hi mse l f .

a n swe red to th e kn ock and began a lou d and fl o r id ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 5 47
w el co m e t o Ed ward w ho s t o pped h is car ee r f e lo ,
o

q u e n ce by l ay in g a finger hi s lip i n t oken f S il en c e on o .

A few wo rds su ffi c e d to ex plai n t he m ot ive f h is v is it o .

H e w ished t o asc e r t ai n t he m fo r wh ic h the ge ntl eman su

u p
-
s t airs was d e t ai ned The baili ff i nformed h .i m an d ;
t h e mon ey nec e ssary proc ure th e cap t i v e s libe rty was
to
’

placed i n h is hand .

The baili ff cast f h is m e l od rama t ic glan c e s a t

one o

Ed ward and said,

D id I t e ll you S ir th is was th e
,
n t
’

, ,

p lace for call ing t h e n obl e st fee l i ngs f h uma n

out o

n a t u re ? ”

“ C a n you ob l ige m e w i t h w ri t ing mat e ria l s ? said ”

Ed ward .

“ I can i sai d Goggin s pro ud ly an d w i t h o t h er

,
s r, , ,
“

m i l too if y
a t er a s
1
l ike — an d p my h o n ou r I l l be
,
ou
’
on ,
’

p roud t o d ri n k yo u r h ea l th fo r yo u r e a raa l g i l m ,
’
nt e an .
”

Edward i n t he c iv i l es t m ann e r d ec l ined t h e o ff e r

, , ,

and w ro t e ra t h e r t ried
,
or wri t e t h e fol l ow ing n o te to , ,

w it h a pe n l i ke a s kewer i n k so m et h in g th i c k e r t ha n ,

m ud and ,
wh i t y brown paper
on -

“ DE R S A — I h op e you w i ll pardo n t h e l ib e r t y
I R,

I ha v e t ake n i n yo ur t empo ra ry w an t f mo ne y Y o . ou

ca n re pay m e a t you r conv e n ien c e You rs .

,

E O C .
’
.

Edward l e ft t he d e n an d d id Jam e s Reddy soo n , so

a fte r — abe tt er man Tho ugh weak h i hear t w as .

,
s

n o t shu t t o t h e h u m a n iti es f l i fe — an d Edward s o

’

k i nd ness in op e n i ng h is e yes t o t h e wron g h e had

,

don e one ma n ind u c e d i n hi h eart a k i nder feel ing

, s

t oward s all H e tore u p hi s slash in g a r t icle again s t

.

su ccess ful me n Wou ld t hat ev e ry d isappoi nte d m a n

.

wo uld d o t h e sam e .

T he b ai l i ff w as righ t e v e n l w a d en hi
: so o as s

beco m e s e n nob l ed by t h e pres e nc e f ac t iv e b o e n e vo

l enc e and prej ud ice rec lai m e d .

1 Th e na m giv i r la d e h en n ssa ry mat ri al s f h

I e n to t e n e ce e or t e

co mp u d i g f wh is k y pu h
o n n o -
nc .
 C H A PT E R X LV I I

D W A RD o n ret urn ing to h is h o t e l foun d Gus ty

E ,

t here befor e h im i n g rea t deligh t at ha v i ng seen

,
,

a S plend id horse as h e s aid w hic h had be e n broug ht

,

, ,

for Edwa r d s i nsp e ct ion he havi ng written a note o n

’

h i s arriva l i n t ow n t o a dea l er s t ating h is wan t o f a fi rst

rat e h un t er .

“
H e s i n th e stable n ow
’
s aid G usty ; ,
“
fo r I
des i red t h e man to w ait kn owing yo u wou ld be h e r e
,
’
soo n f
“
I can no t see h im now Gusty said Edward : w i ll
, ,

o u h av e t he k i n dness t o te l l the groom I can l ook a t

y
t he horse i n h is o wn Stables w hen I wish t o p urch as e ? ”

G usty d epart e d to d o th e m e ssage somewh at in wo n ,

d er for Ed w a rd l o v ed a fin e ho r se B ut the t rut h was

, .
,

Ed ward s d is posab le m on ey w h ich he had i nte nded

’

for th e pu rchase o f a h u n te r had a serious in road ,

mad e u po n i t by t he debts h e had d i sch arged for ot h er

men an d he was forc e d to forego th e pleasu re h e had
,

p roposed t o h imse l f i n th e next hu nti ng season ; an d

h e di d n ot li ke t o consu m e any on e s t i m e o r raise ’

false ex pec t at ions by a ff ectin g t o l ook at d is posable

,

property w ith th e eye o f a pu rc haser whe n he k new ,

it was beyond h is reach ; and the fl i msy common places -

of “ I ll th i nk o f i t o r If I don t se e so m e th ing bet

’ ”
,
’

ter o r any other o f t h e t wenty hack neyed ex c uses

,

w h ich id le people m ake after con sum ing busy men s

,
’

tim e Ed ward h eld to b e u nworthy H e co uld ride a

, .

hack and deny h i m se l f hu nt ing f o r a who l e season bu t ,

5 50 Ha n dy A n d y
reaso n for assum ing a m ili t ary guise t h is occasio n on

was to bothe r M o r ia r ty whom he knew h e S hou ld meet , ,

a n d hel d a speci al reason for torment ing and he k new ;

he cou l d ac h ie v e this by throw i ng al l t h e Stori e s M ori ,

a rty was fond f tell ing about h is w ser v ice i nto th e

o o n

s h ade by ex t ravagan t i n v e ntion s o f

,
hair b readth “ -

’
scape s and feats by fl ood a nd fie ld In deed th e “ .
,

d in ner wo u l d n ot be wo rt h m en t ion in g bu t for t h e

e xtraord inary capers T m cu t on the occasion an d o ,

t he u n heard f lies he squandered -

o .

D i n ner w as an n ou nced by A ndy an d w ith good ,

a ppetite s ou p a nd fi h were soo n des patch ed s h er r y s ;

followed as a m att e r f n ecess ity The seco n d course o .

ap peared a nd was no t l ong un d e r d isc uss io n whe n D i ck

,
”
called for th e cham pagne .

A n dy began to d rag t he tub t owards the t ab le and

D ick i m patien t f d elay agai n ca lled cham pagne
,
o ,
.

“
I m bri ngi n it to yo u i
’
sai d A n dy tuggi ng a t
’

, s r,
”
,

t h e tub .

“
H and it rou nd th e tab le sai d D ic k , .

A ndy t ried to li ft t he t ub “ t o han d i t round t h e ,

t ab le ; bu t find i ng he cou ld no t manage it h e wh is

, ,

pered t o D ick I can t ge t i t u p Sir

“
,
” ’

, .

D i ck fan cy i ng An dy mean t he h ad go t a flask no t in

,

a su ffi c ien t s t a te of e ff er ve scen ce to ex p el its own cork ,

w h ispered in retu rn D raw it th e n ”

, , .

“
I was d hra win i t t o y ou S ir wh e n y o u s t o pp e d
’

, ,

We ll m ak e haste w i t h it sa id D ic k
, ,
.

M iste r D aws on I ll t roub l e y o u f or a s ma ll s l ic e

,
’

o f the tu rkey
”
said th e colone l , .

With p l easure co l one l b u t firs t d o m e t h e hon ou r

,

t o t ake ch am pagn e A ndy cham pagne .

H ere it i s s ir ! s aid A ndy who had draw n th e tu b

, ,

clos e t o D ick s c hair ’

.

Where s the win e s i r ? sa id D ic k l ooki ng firs t a t

”’

, ,

th e tub and then a t Andy .

 Ha n dy A n dy 55 x

T h ere i ,
said A n dy poi n t ing dow n t o t h e i c e
s r, , .

I pu t the w i n e i n t o i t as you wld me ,

to .
”

D ic k looked agai n a t t h e t ub an d said Ther e i s n ot , ,

a single bo ttl e t h e r e — w ha t d o yo u m e an yo u S t up id ,

rascal
“
T o b e s ur e t h e re s ,
bo tt l e t here s i r The
’
no , .

bo tt les is a l l t he id b d b u t e v e ry d h p o th e
on S e oor ,
ro
’

w i n e is i n t h e ice as yo u wld m e i i f y ou put

,
to ,
s r ;

your hand dow n i nto it y 11 fe e l i t S ir

’ ”
,
ou ,
.

Th e co n v e rsat io n b e t w ee n m as te r and m a n growing

l ou d e r as i t proc ee d e d a tt rac t ed th e at t e nt ion f t h e o

w hol e com pany an d t hos e n ear t he head o f th e t abl e

,

b e cam e acqu ai n te d soo n Dic k with the m is t ake

as as

A n dy had made a n d cou ld ,

resis t l aught e r and as n ot ;
t he caus e f t h e i r m e rri m ent w t old fro m m an to man
o as ,

a nd passed rou n d th e board a roar f l aughter u prose ,

o ,

n ot a l itt le increas e d by D ic k s l oo k f v exat io n wh ic h ’

o ,

a t l e ng t h was forc e d y ie l d t he i n fec t iou s merri m e nt

to to
aroun d h im a n d h e l aughed w i t h t h e res t an d mak i ng a
, ,

j ok e f t h e disappo i nt m en t which is t he v ery b es t way

o ,

o f passi ng one ff he said t hat h e had t he honou r f

o ,
o

origi n a t i ng a t h is t abl e a mag n ifi cen t sca l e f hosp ita l ity o ;

for t h ough h e had h e a rd f com pany b e ing e t er t ai n ed o n
w ith a w ho le h ogsh e ad f c l ar et h e was n ot awar e fo ,
o

ch ampagn e bei ng e ve r s erved i n a t ub be fo r e The .

c ompany w e r e de te rm i ned
too b e merry to h ave t h e ir to
p l easa ntry pu t f t u n e by t ri fl i ng a m i shap and i t
.

ou t o so ,

was g e n e ra ll y v o te d t ha t th e jok e w as worth t w i ce as

muc h as t h e wi n e Neve rt h e les s D ick co u l d
. help ,
n ot

cas t i n g a r e proac hfu l l ook w an d t h en a t A ndy w h o no ,

h ad to ru n the gau n tl e t f many a j oke cu t a t h i s o

expens e w h i l e h e waited u po n t h e wags at d i n n er an d

, ,

caugh t a l ow l y m u t t ered a n ath e m a w he ne v e r he pass e d

ne ar D ic k s chai r I n s ho rt mas te r and ma n w e r e bo t h
’
.
,

glad w hen t h e c l o t h w draw n a n d t h e part y cou l d b e

as ,

l eft t hem se l v e s
to .

Th e n ,
as a m a tte r f cou rs e D ick ca lle d o th e ,
on
55 2 Ha n dy A n dy
gen tle m en t o c harg e their glass e s an d fill h igh t o a toas t
h e h ad to propos e — t hey wou ld an t ici pat e to whom h e
referred — gen t lem an who was going t o ch ange hi s
a

State f fr e edom for

o of a h app ier bondage & &
on e , c , . c .

D ick dashed ff h i s s pe e ch w ith several m i rth mo v i ng

o -

allusion s to t h e c h ange th a t was comi ng over h is fri end

Tom an d h av i ng festooned h is c om positi o n w ith t he
, ,

prop e r quanti ty o f rosy w r e aths & & & ,

”
c ,
. c .
,
c ,
.

natu ra l ly b e longi ng t o su ch Speec h es he wou n d u p wit h ,

so me hea r ty w ords — fr ee from b d i g an d mean i ng a na e,

a ll t h ey conv eyed an d fi n i shed wi t h the rhy ming b e n ed ic

,

t io n f a l ong li fe and a good w i fe t o h im

o .

T m h av ing retu rned t h an ks i n th e same laughi ng

o

S ty l e t ha t D i ck propos e d h is healt h and bad e farewell to ,

th e lighter folli e s f bach el orsh i p for th e more serio u s

o

o n es f wed lock the road wa s now open for any one

o ,

w ho w voca ll y i n cli ned D i ck a sked

as . two w ho one o r ,

said t hey were not w ith i n a bottle f t h eir sing i ng poi nt o -

yet but T m D fy was su re hi s fr ien d t he colo n el

,
o ur

wou l d favour th e m .

With pl e as u r e said t he colone l , and I ll S ing ;

“ ’

some t h i ng ap propri at e to th e b liss ful situation f ph i lan o

deri ng i n w hich you h a ve been i n d ulgin g f la t e my o ,

fri e n d I wi h I co u l d gi ve y
. s any id ea of t h e song ou

as I heard i t warb l ed by t h e vo ice f a n I ndi an pri ncess o ,

wh o was attached t o me on ce an d for w ho m I ra n ,

e normous risks — b ut n o ma t ter — t h at pas t an d gon e ’

S ,

bu t t h e soft t on e s f Z lim v oi ce will e v er haunt my

o u
’
a s

heart ! The song i s a favou ri t e wh e r e I h e ard i t on

t he borders f C ashmere an d i s su pposed b e sung by

o ,
to
a fond woman i n t h e v al l ey of the n igh t ingales is ’
t so

i n th e o riginal bu t as w e ha v e n o n ightingal e s i n I re l and

, ,

I hav e substitu te d t h e dove i n th e l itt le t ra n s la t io n I h av e

made wh ich i f y w ill al low m e I l l att e m p t
, ,
ou ,
’
.
”

Loud cri es f Hear hear ! a nd t apping f app l au d

o ,
”
o

ing h ands t h e t able fo l lowed wh ile t h e co l on e l gav e

on ,

a few pre l i minary h e ms and aft e r some l itt le p i lo t t ones

;
 5 54 Ha n d y A n dy
I mea n a f t ran s l at ion f cou rs e add e d t h e
r ee ,
o ,

moc k colon e l .

“Wou ld y ou favou r us w ith t he song agai n i n th e ,

”
o riginal ? add ed M oria rty .

T m Lo ftus d id
o k now syl lab le f any o t h e r
n ot one o

l anguage tha n h is ow n an d i t would n o t h ave bee n ,

conv en ien t t o tal k g ibb e ris h t o M oriarty wh had a ,

o

sm atte r ing f som e f th e e aste rn t ongues

o o he ; so

decl ined gi v in g h is C s h meria n song i n i ts native pu rity

a ,

because as h e said he n ev er cou l d man age to s peak the ir

, ,

d ialect t h ough h e u nderstood it reasonably well

,
.

“B ut b a gentlem an I am s u re wi l l s ing som e

t er e s
’

, ,

other song — an d a bett e r I hav e n o doubt sai d one , ,

”

Tom wit h a v ery h umb le p rostratio n f hi s head

,
t he o on

t ab le a n d anx io u s by a fresh so ng t o get

,
f th e ou t o

d il em m a i n w hich M oriar ty s q u estio n w as n ear p laci ng ’

him .

N a be t ter colon el said t he gentlema who was

ot , ,
n

add ress e d but I cann o t refuse y ou r call an d I w i ll do

, ,

my b e st h and m e the po rt wi ne pray I a l ways take a

; , ;
gla ss of port before I s ing — I t hi n k is good f t h e ’
t or

t hroat what do yo u y co l o ne l ? sa ,

When I want to S ing pa rt icu l arly w e ll said T m , o ,

”
I d ri n k y ca n a r .

Th e gentleman sm iled a t th e wh ims ica l answ e r t oss e d ,

off h is glas s o f po rt a n d began ,

.

LAD Y M I N E

L A D Y mi lad y mi
ne ne

T a k t h sy wr ath I t wi
e e ro e ne

A ll i t s sw t s l ss th a n t hi
,

ee a re e ne ,

Lad y lad y mi ne

T h e b l ush t h a t y c h e k is f u d
,

th on e o n

B l m t h f r e sh t h wb l y a r ro u d
oo e e f
o e e n

Tby sw t b r t h a s sw t giv s so d
ee ea ee e un

Lad y lad y mi ne
,

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 555

Lad y m nei lad y m nei

Ho w I l ov e t h e gra c f u l vi e ne ,

W h o s e t d ri l s m c k t h y ri ng l e t s t wi n e
en o
’

Lad y lad y mi
,

ne

H o w I l v e t h a t g e n ro us t re e
,
’
o

Who s rip c l ust rs pr mise me

e e e o
,

Bu mp e rs bright t o p l d g t o ib ee -
e e

Lad y lad y mi e
, ,

, n

Lad y mi ne lad y mi e n

L ik t h e st a rs t h a t n ight l y S hi
e ne ,

T h y sw t y s sh e d l igh t d ivi e
ee e e n

Lad y lad y mi e
,

A n d a s s a ge s wis
,

o f o ld e,

F r om t h e s t a rs c o u ld f a t u f ld
,

e n o

T h y brigh t e y e s m y f rt u
,

t ld o ne o

Lad y lad y mi e ,
n

T h e song was j us t i n t h e S t y le t o ca t c h g entl eme n

aft er d i nn er — t h e secon d v e rs e pa rtic u larly and m any ,

a g l as s wa s e m p t i e d o f a bum per b righ t a n d p le dged

“ ”
,

t o t h e pa rt icu lar t be e wh ic h eac h i nd iv id u al had

“
,

se le c te d fo r his d ev ot ion Edward a t t h a t mom en t .

, ,

c e r t a in l y t hough t o f Fan ny D a wson .

Le t teet o t a l lers s ay w ha t t hey p l e as e t h e re is a g e n ia l ,

i n fl ue n c e in spir e d by w i n e an d son g — n o t i n ex cess ,

bu t i n t ha t who le so m e d e g re e wh i ch s t irs t he blood an d

warm s t he fancy ; an d a s o n e raises t he glass t o t he l ip ,

ov e r w hich som e swee t na m e i s j us t brea t hed from t h e

d e p t h o f t h e h ear t wh a t l iba t io n so fi t t o pou r t o abs e n t
,

fri en d s a s wi n e ? Wha t is w i ne ? It is the grap e

p r e s ent i n ano t her form ; it s essenc e is t h e r e though t h e ,

fru i t wh ich prod uced i t gr e w th ousands o f m i les away ,

a n d perished years ag o S o t he objec t o f m any a t ender

.

t hough t may be spiritu ally p resen t i n defia n c e o f space ,

and fo nd re collec t ion s ch erished i n d e fianc e o f t i me .

A s t he pa rt y b e ca me mo r e co n v i v ia l t h e m i rt h bega n ,

t o assu me a b road e r form T o m D u r fy d r e w o u t .

5 56 Ha n dy A n dy
M oria rt y o n th e subj ec t o f h i s s e rv ices t ha t t h e m ock ,

colonel mig h t throw every n ew ac h ievement i nto th e

shad e a nd t h is he did in t he m ost barefaced manne r
; ,

but m ix i ng so m uch f probab il ity w ith hi s aud ac ious o

fictio n th at th ose who wer e n ot u p

,
the j oke on ly to

su p p sed h im to b e
o y g m w h i le thos e
a v er r ea t ro a nce r ;
fr iend s who w e re i n Lo ft us co n fi dence exh ibited a most ’

capacious Sto mac h for the ma r v ellous and backed u p h is ,

l ies w ith a ready cred ence If M o r iarty told so me fea r .

fu l in ci dent of a t iger hu nt t h e colonel capped i t with ,

someth i ng m o r e won derfu l o f s laug h te r i ng lion s in a ,

wholesale way like rabb its W hen M o r iarty ex patiated

,
.

on t h e i n t en s ity o f tropica l h eat th e colone l wou ld p ,

u

set h i m w ith someth ing more a ppalli ng .

“ Now ”
s ir ,
said Lo ftu s
,
“
let me ask y ou wh at is ,

th e greatest amou n t o f heat yo u ha v e e v er expe rien ced

I s a y e x p e r ie n ce d not b ea r d o f for t h at goes for
,

n othi ng I alway s s peak from expe r ie nce

.
”
.

Well s ir said Mo r iarty I h a v e kn own i t t o be

”
, ,
“
,

so ho t i n In d Ia t h at I ha v e had a hole d ug in the grou nd

,

u nder my tent an d sa t i n it and pu t a table stand ing

, ,

ov e r the hole to try and guard me from t h e i ntolerable

,

fervour of the eastern su n and e v en t b e n I was hot , .

What do yo u say to th a t colo ne l ? as k e d M oria rt y

”
, ,

tri um p h antly .

H a v e y o u ev er been i n the West Ind ies ? i nqu i red

”

Lo ft us .

“
Ne v er sa i d M o r i art y w ho on c e e n t rapped into
, , ,

th i s ad m iss ion was d irectly at the colo nel s m ercy

,
’

an d th e colon e l l au nc hed out fearlessly .

Then my good s ir you know n oth i ng o f h ea t I

, , .

ha v e seen i n t he Wes t In d ies an u mb rella bu rn e d o v er

”
a m an s h ead
’
.

“
Wo n derfu l ! cried Lo ftu s backers ’
.

“ ’
T i s s tr ange s i r said M oriarty
”
,
t hat we hav e
, ,

n e v e r s een that ment ioned by a ny write r .

”
“
Easi ly accoun ted fo r s ir said Lo ftus T is so
, ,
.
’
 Ha n dy A n dy
Tha t ’
f th e most di ffi c ul t ridd le s t o c om pr e
s one o

h e n d I ev er heard said M oriarty , .

“
Th e frigate answer e d t h e ridd le wi th her gu ns sir , ,
”
I prom i se yo u .

“
Wh a t ! exc l aimed M ori ar ty fir e
”
t h e fo rt f ,
“
on o

h e r w ki ng ?
o n
”

“
Th ere is an hon es t p r in ci pl e e x i sts a mong sailo rs ,

Sir t o retu rn fir e u nder all c ircu mstances wh erev er it

, ,

comes from fri e nd foe Fi re f which they know

,
or .
, o

th e va l ue wel l they won t t ake from anybody

so ,
’
.

“
An d wh a t was t h e conseq uence ? said M o r i art y .

S i r it was the most h armles s b roadside eve r deli v ered

,

from the port s f a B ri tis h frigate no t a single house

o ;
or h u ma n being w as i nj ur e d — th e d ay w as ho t that so

ev e ry sen ti ne l had s u nk the g r ou nd i n utter exhau st io n

on

— the who l e population w e r e as l ee p the on ly l oss of ;

l ife wh ich occurred was th at f a blue macaw wh i h o , c

be l onged t o t he com mandan t s daughter ’

.
”

Wh e r e wa s t he macaw m ay I beg to know ? said ,

”

M oriarty cro ss q u est ion ing t h e colo nel i n t he s pi r i t of

,
-

a co u n se l for th e d efe nce a capital i ndic t me n t on .

“ In the d rawi ng r oom window si r -

, .
”

The n s u re l y t he bal l m us t have don e s om e da mag e

i n t h e house ?
Not the l east s ir said Loftus s ipp ing h is w i ne
, , , .

S urely co lo nel ! re tu rn ed M o r iarty wa rmi ng th e

, , ,

ball could no t h av e ki ll e d th e macaw w ithou t i njuring

t he hous e
“ My d ea r S i r sai d T m I d id n o t y t h e b ll
,
o ,
“
sa a

k ill e d t he macaw I sa id t he macaw was killed bu t b

, ; t at

was i n c onseq uen ce f a Spli nter from an p l m o f e au e e nt o

t he sou th east angle f the fo rt wh ich t he Sho t St ruc k

-
o

a nd g lanced ff harm lessly — except f t he cas ua l ty f

o or o

t h e macaw .

M oria r y re t ur n ed a ki nd f gru nt wh ich i mp l i ed

t o ,

t h at though h e co uld fu rt her q i h e did n ot b

,
n ot u e s t on , e

li
ev e . U nde r Su ch c i rcums t ances t aki ng sn u ff is a gr e at ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 59
r el i e f toa ma n a n d as i t happ e ned M oriar t y i n t ak
; , , ,

i ng s n u ff cou l d g ra t i fy h i s n ose an d hi s van ity a t t h e

,

s am e t i me for he spor te d a s i l ver gi l t sn u ff box wh ic h

,
- -

was pres e n te d t o h im i n som e ex t raord i n ary way an d ,

bo re a gran d i n scri p t ion .

O n th i s pi e c e f p l a t e bei ng prod uc e d f cou rs e

o ,
o

i t wen t roun d the t ab l e an d M oria r ty cou ld s carcely ,

co n cea l t he sa t is fac t ion he fe l t as e ac h person read the

eng rav e n te s t i mo ni a l f hi s worth Whe n i t had gon e o .

t h e ci rcu i t f t h e board T m Lo ftu s p u t h i s hand in t o

o , o

h is pocket an d pu l l ed t h e bu tt en d o f a ri fl e w h ic h
out -

i a l ways fu r n ished w ith a s ma l l b

s c ut o f the so l id ox ,
o ut

part f t he wood a n d cov e red w ith a p l a t e f brass ac t

o o

i n g on a h i ng e Th is b . i n t e n d ed carry s mal l im
ox , to

pl me e nt sfo r th e u se f t he i fl m o k e ep h is pi ec e i n r e a n, to
o rde r was fi ll e d w it h sn u ff a n d T m said as h e l aid i t
, ,
o ,

dow n on t h e t ab l e This i s my sn u ff b g e n t l e me n
,
“ -
ox , ;
n ot as h a n dsom e my ga ll an t fri en d s a t t he op posit e
as
’

Si de f t he t abl e bu t ex t re me l y i n te r e s t i ng t o m e I t
o ,
.

w prev iou s
as f ou r dash in g a ff airs i n S pai n t ha t
t o on e o
ou r r ifl m
e were t h row n
en i n fron t an d t he fl an ks out on .

Th e rifles wer e su pporte d by t he l igh t compan i e s f t h e o

r e gim e n t s i n ad va n c e a n d i t was i n t h e l a tt er d u ty I was

,

en gaged We had fee l way t hro ugh a wood a n d

. to our ,

h ad c l ear e d i t f t h e en emy w h e n o w e d ebouc hed , ,

as

fro m t h e wood t he oppos i t e s id e we we r e charg ed by

on ,

a n ov erwhe l m i n g forc e f Po lish l a nc e rs and cui rass i e rs

o .

Re t rea t w i m pos sib l e as r e s is t ance a l mos t hope l ess .

M y l ad s said I we m u s t d so m e t h ing
,
’

,
l her e o nov e , or

w e ar e l os t startl e t hem by fres h prac tice

— t h e bay
o ne t wi ll n o l onger avai l y c l ub y ou r m u sk et s and ou ,

h i t t h e hors e s o v er t he n os e s and t h ey 11s me l l d a n ge r ,

’
.
’

T hey t ook my adv ice f co u rs e w e fi rs t d e l iv e r e d a

; o

w i t h e ring v o ll ey an d t h en ,
i t we w ent i n fl il fash io n to a -

t hrash i n g away with t h e b u tt e n ds f m us ke t s a n d -

o our ;
su re en ough t h e F r en ch were as t o nish e d a n d d ri v e n b ack
i n amaz e me nt S t re m en dou s S i r w t h e h i tt i n g
. o , ,
as on
 5 6 0 Ha n dy A n dy
our s id e t ha t i n m any i ns t an c e s t h e bu tt en ds f th e
,
-
o

m usk e ts snapped ff li ke tobacco pi pes an d the fi e ld was

o -

q u ite str e wn w ith the m afte r t h e a ff air I p icked on e f : o

t h em u p as a l ittle mem en t o f th e day and h ave used o ,

it e v e r si n ce as a s nu ff box -
.
”

E v ery was amu sed by t he outrageous ro manc i ng

one

o f the colonel but M o r iarty w ho l ooked rather d isgusted , ,

becau s e h e cou ld n ot edge i n a word f h is w a t all he o o n ;

gave u p th e th ing n ow i n des pair for t h e colonel had it ,

al l his w way li ke the bu ll in a ch in a sh op t he more

o n ,
-

;
sta rtling th e boun cers he t old th e more s uccess ful w ere ,

h i s anecdotes a nd h e kept pouring the m ou t w ith t he

,

m ost astoun d ing rap id i ty an d though all v oted him th e ;

greatest liar they ev e r m et n one s usp e c t ed he was no t a ,

m ilit ary m an .

D ick w an t ed Edward O C wh o besid e h i m ’

o n n o r, s at ,

to s ing bu t E dward wh is pe r ed
; F H eav e n s sake ,
“
or
’

don t S t op the fl ow f th e lava fro m t hat m ighty c ru p

’
o

tio n of lies l — h a p e rfect V e s u v i us of m end ac ity

e
’
s .

Y 11 nev e r meet h is l ike again so make th e m os t o f

’
ou ,
”
h i m while you hav e h i m Pray i sai d Edward t o .
, s r,

th e co lonel ha v e y o u e ve r been i n any f the cold

,
“
o

c lim a t es I am ind u c e d to a sk you fro m t he ver y ,

wo nd erfu l anecdo te s yo u hav e to l d o f t he h ones ot .

”

B less you sir I kn ow e very cor n er abou t the no r th

, ,

pole .

“
I n wh i ch f the ex ped i t io n s may I ask w e re yo u
o , ,

e ngaged ? i n qu ired M ori arty

”
.

“
I n no ne f t h e m i We k nocked u p a li l m
o , S r . tt e a a

teur p y I an d a few cu riou s friends an d certai n ly we

art , ,

witnessed wonders Yo u t al k h ere f a sharp wi nd bu t . o ;

t he w i nd i s sharp t h ere that it c ut ff ou r beard and
so o

w h iskers B or e a s i s a great ba rber Si r wit h hi s n o rth

.
, ,

pole for a S ign Th e n as for frost ! . I cou ld t e l l y -

ou

su ch i nc redi bl e thin gs f its i nten s ity butte r for io ou r ,

n

stan ce was ,
hard rock ; w e were obl iged to kn oc k
as as a

it ff w it h a ch ise l an d ham m e r li ke a mason a t a p i e c e

o
,
 Ha n dy A n dy
Fo r a b o wld s oje r b o y
Wh r right l t
e e or e f we g o ,

Sur y k w
e ou no

F ri d f
,

en or oe

W i ll hav ha d e the n or t oe

Fr m a w d j b y o bo l so e r o !
Th r e e a w w ma r h t hr
’
s n ot to n e c o ,
’

Bu t lad i s l k i g a r h hr
the e oo n c t o
'

wi d w p a s wi ll s a r h thr
,
’
T he n o ne e c o

ra ks fi d th ir j y
-

T he n to n e o

Whi l up tr t e t he s ee ,

E a h gir l
c m t y ou ee ,

Wi l l l k s ly oo so

Wi ll y cr
,

My y e e

h is h a da r l i g h b wld
’
O j b oy !
'

, n t e n , t e o so e r

Bu t wh w g h r u en e et t e o te ,
Ho w h y p ut t e o

A n d th sh u t e
y o

Whi l right ab u t
e t o t he o

G s wl d j b y oe t he bo so e r o

is th that lad i s fa ir
.

Oh,
’
t en e

In d sp a ir
e

T ar h ir ha ir
e t e

Bu t h d l t e ar iv i -
,

a one I c e,
’

a s h
-

wl j b y S y t e bo d so e r o

h w r ld is all b f r us
.

For t e o e o e

Wh r h la dlad i s ad r us
e e t e n e o e
,

A nd n e er r fus s r us ’
e e to co e
,

Bu t hal k up wi h j y c us
,

t o
W a st h
e t e e r ta
p,
W ar h
e te
p e r ca
‘

h ha t h ha p ’
O , t S t e c

For m e !
a s
S y Sh e

O h is h a da r l i g h b wl d
’ 3
,
n t e n ,
t e o so e r j b oy .

Th e n co me al o n g wi th m e,

G ra ma ch re e ,
A n d y o u 11 s e e
’

H ow y y ou ha pp wi ll b e
 Ha n dy A n dy 563
W i t h y ur b wld j b y o o so e r o

Fa i t h i f y u
’
up f ’
! o re to un ,

Wi th m e ru n

T wi ll d be
’
one

h s a ppi g f a g
’
In t e n n o u n,

a s b wld S y j b y t he o so e r o ;
A d n is h tha wi th u t s a dal
’
t t en t, o c n

M y s l f wi ll pr u dl y da dl
,

e o n e

T he l i t l f a r hi g a dl
t e t n c n e

f mu t u al fl a m my j y
O our e, o !
M y i l igh t shi
a h s ne

A bright a s mi
S ne ,

Ti ll i ii l i t he ne

H l l b la
’
e z e,

A d r a is
n e

T h g l ry f h i
e o rps l i k a b wld j b y
o s co , e o so e r o !

A ndy ente r e d t he roo m w h i l e th e son g was i n pro

gr e ss an d h a n d ed a l e t te r
,
D ic k w hich after th e to , ,

s ong w ov e r a n d h e had ask e d pardo n f h is gu es t s

as ,
o ,

h e op e n ed .

“ By Jov e ! y S i n g righ t we ll co l o ne l sa id
ou , ,
one

o f t h e part y .

“ I t h ink th e ga ll an t co l on e l s so n gs no t h ing i n m ’
co

pariso n w ith h is w d f l s t ori es said M oriart y

on er u ,
”
.

Ge n tl emen said D ick wonderfu l as t h e co l on e l s

,
”
,
’

r e c i t als h av e been th i s l et t er conv ey s a piec e f i

,
o n

form atio n m ore su rp r isi ng th an an y t hi n g we h av e h eard

t h is d ay T ha t s t u pi d fel l ow wh o spoiled
. ch am ou r

pagne h as come i n f
”
t he i n herita nce f a l arg e
or o

p roperty .

“
W ha t H an dy A n dy ? e xc l a imed t hos e w ho ”

k n e w h i s n ame .

“
H andy A n dy said D i ck ,
is n o w a man f ,
“
o

fo r t u ne !
 T was a note from S qu ire Ega n which conveyed t he
I n ews to D ick th at caus e d so m uch su rprise ; the
detai l s o f the cas e were not ev e n hi nted at ; the bare
fact alon e was me ntio ned w ith a ca ut io n to preser v e
,

i t sti l l a secret fro m A ndy an d a ppoi n ting an h our fo r

,
”
d i nn er at M orrison s next day at w hic h hotel th e
“ ’

S qu ir e expected to arri v e fro m t h e cou nt ry w i th h is ,

lady an d Fan ny D awson e n r ou t e f o r Lon don Ti ll

, .

di n n er t i me then the d ay fol l owing D ick wa s oblig e d

-

, , ,

to lay by h is i m patience as to th e “ why an d where

for e o f A n dy s sudden ad v ancemen t ; b ut as the morn
’

i ng Wa s to b e occu pied with T o m D u r fy s wedd ing ’

Di c k had e nough to keep hi m enga ged i n th e mean t im e .

A t t he a p point e d hour a few o f Tom s parti cular ’

fri e n d s we re i n a tt end ance to w itness t h e ceremony o r , ,

to u s e t hei r o wn ph rase “ to s ee h i m t u r ned o ff an d

, ,

a mong t hem was T o m Loftus D ick was hold ing o u t .

his han d t o the colon e l wh en T o m D u r fy Stepped

“ ”
,

between a n d i ntrod uced h im u n der his real n ame Th e

,
.

m as qu e rad ing t ric k o f the n ight before wa s laughed at ,

w ith a n assu rance from D i ck tha t i t on ly ful fi lled all

he had ev er he ard o f th e P r otean powers o f a gen tle
ma n who m h e so m uch wished to k now A few mi n .

utes con v e rsation in th e recess o f a w i n dow pu t T o m

’

Lo ftus and D ick th e D e v i l o n perfe ct l y good term s ,

a nd Lo f t us pro posed t o D ick t h at t hey S hou l d execute

th e o ld establis h ed t ri c k o n a bridegroo m o f snatch ing
-

t he first kiss fr o m th e bri de .

“
You m u s t get in Tom s way said Loftus “ a n d
’

, ,
”
I l l k iss her
’
.
5 6 6 Ha n dy A n dy
to ngu e and w in e whic h t ak e n i n t he mor n ing a re
, , ,

provocati ve o f eloqu en ce a nd f cou rse the proper ; ,

o ,

q u anti ty o f hea l th s and t oasts were execu t ed l l se on a

reg l u n t i l i t w as t im e fo r th e b r i de an d b rid egroom to

e
,

bow and b lu sh and cu rtsey f th e room and make ou t o ,

them selves food for a pa r g r aph in t h e morn i ng papers a ,

u nder t he t it l e f th e happy pair wh o

o “ ff i n a ,
se t o

ha ndsome char iot , &c .

, Se c .

T o m D u rfy had n gaged a p e

r etty co tt age i n th e n eigh
b o u rh o o d o f C lo ntarf to pass th e ho neymoon T m . o

Loftus k n ew th is and k new mo reover t ha t th e s itting

, , ,

roo m l ooked a s mal l lawn wh ic h l ay before the

out on

h ous e screen ed by a hedge from the road but with a

, ,

c ircular swee p l ead ing u p to t he house and a gate of ,

i ngress an d egress a t either en d f t he h edge I n thi s o .

sitt ing room T m a fte r lunch was pressing hi s lady fai r

-
o , ,

t o take a glass f champagne whe n t he ent rance gat e

o ,
-

was thrown open an d a h ac kney j au nt ing ca r w it h Tom

,
-

Loftus an d a fri end t wo u pon it d ri v en by a s pecia l

or ,

ra
g am ffi b luow ing a
n t i n horn rolled u p t h e skim ping ,

a v en u e and as it scou red past t h e wi n dows f th e sittin g

, o

roo m Tom Lo ftu s and t he other p assengers kissed h ands

,

to th e aston ish ed bride an d b ridegroom and shouted , ,

Wis h you j oy
Th e t h ing was so sudden t ha t D u r fy and the w idow ,

n o t se eing Loftus could hard ly c omp r eh e nd what it

,

m eant an d bot h ran t o the w in dow ; but j us t as th ey

,

reach ed i t u p d ro v e another car freighted w ith t wo or

, ,

th ree m ore wi ld rascals wh o fo l lowed the lead whi ch had

b een giv e n th em ; an d as a lon g trai n o f cars were seen
i n th e d istance al l driv ing u p t o the av en ue t he wi dow , ,

wi t h a t im id l i tt le scream threw her handkerchi ef ov er,

h er face a nd ran i n t o a co rner To rn d id not know .

w heth er t o l au gh o r be angry b u t b e ing a good hu mo u red , ,

-

fellow b e sat is fi ed h imself wit h a few oaths agai ns t th e

,

i ncorrigibl e Lo ftu s an d when t h e cor t ig e had passed

, ,
 Ha n dy A n dy 6
5 7
e nd eavou red t o r e sto r e t h e s t artle d fai r h er one to
s e r e n ity .

S q u ir e Ega n and party arriv e d a t t h e appoi n ted h ou r

a t t h e ir ho t e l w here D ic k was wai t i ng
,
rece iv e t h e m to ,

a n d f cou rs e hi s i n qu i ri e s we re i m m ed i ately d irec t ed

, o ,

t o t h e e x t raordina ry c irc u msta n ce f A ndy s e l e v ati o o

’
n,

t h e d etai l s f w h ich he d esired t o k now These w e

o .

sh a l l n o t giv e i n th e e x pan ded fo rm i n wh ic h D ick heard

t hem b ut endeavo u r co n de n s e as m u ch as possib le
,
to , ,

w ith i n t h e li m it s wh i ch w e a r e presc rib e d

to .

T he t it l e f S ca tt erbrai n had ne v e r been in h eri te d

o

d i rec t ly fro m father i t h ad d escen ded in a z igzag

t o so n ;
fashio n m os t appropri a t e
,
t h e am e n ephews an d to n ,

cousin s hav ing com e i n f t h e co ron e t an d t h e prop e rt y or

fo r som e gen e ratio ns The la t e l ord had l ed a . e r ou

bach elor l ife u p t o t he ag e f s ix t y an d t h e n th ought i t o ,

n ot wor t h w hi l e m arry t hough m any mam mas and

to ,

daugh te rs S pread t hei r n e t s and arrayed t h e i r ch arm s t o

e n t ra p t h e s exage naria n .

T h e t ru t h w he had q u a ff ed t h e cu p f l ic e n t iou s
as, o

p l eas u re al l h is l ife after wh ich h e t hough t m atrimony

,

wou l d prov e i n s ip id The mere n o ve lt y in du ces som e

.

m e n u n der s im i l ar c i rcu m s t an ces t o t ry t h e holy es t a te

, , ;
b u t ma t ri mony co u l d n o t o ff er Lord S ca tt erbra in t h e to
c harms f n o v e l ty f b b d b
o ,
o n ce m arried t houg h
or e a ee n ,

n o one b u t h i msel f w cogn isa nt f t h e fac tas o .

Th e read e r w i l l c er t ai n l y y H ere a n I rish b u ll ; sa ,

’
s

h w cou l d a m a n be married w ithou t a t l eas t a wo ma n

o , , ,

a n d a pri e s t b e ing j oi nt possesso rs f t h e secre t ? o

”

L isten ge n t le reader and yo u sh all hear h ow n o ne

, ,

b u t Lo rd S ca tte rbrai n k n ew Lord S ca tte rbrai n was

married .

There was no t h ing a t wh ich h e e ve r s t o pp e d f t h e or

grat ifica t io n f h i passio n s

o s w e a l th h e wou ld no n ot

sq uan der ,
deceit h e wou l d
no prac t i se d isgu is e n ot ,
no

h e wo u l d assu m e Ther e fo r e go l d a n d falseh ood

not .
, , ,
568 Ha n dy A n dy
an d m asqu eradin g wer e e x t e n sive l y em p l oyed by t h is reck
less e i n t h e ser v ice of Ve n u s i n w hi ch serv ice com
r ou , ,

b i d w ith that o f B acchu s his l ife was e ntire ly passed

ne , .

O ften he assu med th e gu ise f a m an i n h umble l i fe o ,

t o a pproxi mate som e O bjec t f h is des ire who m fi n e o ,

c lothes and bribery wo uld have i nstan tly warned ; an d

i n too many cases h is a rt ifi c e s were s uccessful It was .

i n on e o f these ad v en t u res h e cas t h is eyes u pon t h e

wo man h itherto kn own i n t h is s t ory u n der the n ame
o f t he Widow Roon ey ; b ut a l l his practi ces against h er
v i rtue we r e u n a v ailing and n othing but a ma rt ia ge could
,

accom plis h wh at he had set h i s fancy u pon ; b ut ev e n

t bis wou ld not stop hi m r b e ma r r ie d b e r
fi ,
a .

Th e Widow Roo ney has appeared n o v ery i n v it i n g

p e rson age th r ough these pages and th e r e ader may wonde r
,

that a m an of r ank cou ld proceed t o s u ch des p e ra te

l engths upon s uch slight tem ptati on ; bu t gen tl e r e ader , ,

she was you ng and at t ract iv e w hen s h e was married

n e v er to say b a n dsome bu t good loo ki ng d ec id edly and
,
-

with th at so rt o f fi gure wh ich i s com prehen ded i n t h e

phrase a fine gi r l .

A n d has that fi ne gi r l al t ered int o t he Widow Roon ey ?

Ah ! po v erty and hardshi p ar e sore t ria ls to the b ody as
we ll as to the m ind T o o little is it co nsidered w h ile
.
,

w e gaz e o n ari stocrat ic beauty how muc h good food , ,

so ft ly ing warm w r appi ng ease o f mi nd ha v e to do

, , ,

wi t h the attractio ns wh ich command o u r ad mi rat ion .

M any a han d mou lded by n atu re t o gi v e elegan ce o f fo r m

to a k id glo v e is sti n ted o f its fair propo rt i on by
,
“ ”

g r ubbi ng to i l The foot wh ich might h a v e e xcited th e

.

ad mi ration o f a bal l roo m peep ing u nder a flou nce o f

-

lace i n a sat i n S hoe and t readin g t h e mazy d ance will

, ,

g r o w coa rse a nd broad by t ram p ing i n i ts nati v e stat e

o v er toi l som e m i les b e aring perchance to a ma r ket tow n
,

some few eggs whos e who le p rod uc e wou ld n o t pu rchase

,

t he sand al ti e o f my l ady s s l ipper ; will grow red an d

-
’

r ough by stand ing i n wet t re n c h e s a n d feeling t h e win ter s

,
’
 H a n dy A n dy
mo n t hs h t ru sted al l was righ t b u t w hen m oo n
S e ;
fo llowed moon an d S h e gav e b i rt h t o a boy w ith ou t ,

heari ng wo rd f h is fa t he r m isgi v ing cam e u po n

one o ,

h er an d th e o nly consolat io n l e ft h er was that t hough

, , ,

sh e was des e rted and a chi ld l eft o n he r h an ds sti l l Sh e, ,

was b
an wm That c h i ld was th e he ro f
on est o an. o our

t al e The n eighbou r s pas se d so m e i ll na t ured re m a rks

.
-

about he r w hen it began t o be s uspected that her hu s

,

band wo u ld n ev er l e t h er k no w more about hi m for ;

s h e had been rather a s au cy lady holding u p he r n os e ,

a t poor men and t ri um ph ing i n h e r catch i ng f th e

, o

stewa rd a man we l l , do i n t he wor l d an d i t m ay

”
to ;
b e re memb e red t ha t t hi s sam e Sp iri t e xi sted i n her wh en
,

A n dy s rumou red marriage w ith M atty ga v e th e pros pec t

’

o f her a ff ai rs being retrieved for h d i splayed h er l ove , s e

o f pre e mi n e n ce to th e v ery firs t perso n wh o ga v e h e r

-

the good n ews T he i ll na t u re f her n eighbours how.

-
o ,

ever after th e b i rth f her c hild a nd the d esertion f h er

,
o o

h usband i nd u ci ng he r ,
l eav e the scen e f h er to o un

m erited wrongs and an noy ances She s uddenly decamped , ,

a nd re mo v ing t o a nother part o f I reland t he poor

, ,

wo man began a l i fe f hard ship to s u p port h ersel f and o ,

re r th e o ff spring f her u n fo rt unate marriage I n th i s

a o .

t ask s h e was wo rt hi l y assis t ed by on e f her broth ers o ,

w ho pit ied h er cond ition a n d j oi ned he r i n her retreat , .

H e married i n co u rse f t im e an d h i s w i fe died i n o ,

givi ng bi rt h to O onah who was soo n de prived f he r ,

o

othe r parent by ty phu s fe v e r tha t t errib l e scou rg e f t h e ,

o

poor so tha t t h e praiseworthy des i re f the brother t o

; o

befri end hi S i s t er on l y i nvol v ed h e r as it hap p e n e d i n

s , ,

t he d eeper d i ffi c ulty of su pport ing w ch i l d re n i n s t ead t o

o f one Th is sh e d id h eroica l ly an d t h e o rp h a n gi r l
.
,

r e ward ed h e r by pro v i ng a g reate r com for t t ha n her

,

o wn ch i ld for A ndy had i nherited i n a ll i rac iness t h e

; ts
blood o f th e S catterbrai ns and h i deeds as reco rded i n , s ,

t h is h istory prov e he was n o u nwo rt hy repr e se n tati ve

,

o f t h a t i l lus t rio us t i tle .

 Ha n dy A n dy 57 :

To r et u r n t o h is fa t her — w h o had do n e t h e gri e v ou s

wrong t o t he poor peasan t g i rl he l i ved h is l i fe o f :

pro fl ig y th
ac rough an d i n a fore ig n cou
,
n t ry d ied a t l as t ;
but on h is dea t h b ed th e scou rge f co nsc ience r e n d ered
-
o

e v e ry h e l pl e ss hou r a n age of woe B itterest of all was .

t he t hought of the wi fe d ece iv ed d eserted an d u n ac , ,

k n ow ledged T o face hi s last accou nt w ith such fearfu l

.

c rim e u po n his head he dared n ot an d mad e all t h e ,

repa r atio n n o w i n hi s power by a vowing h is m a r riage i n

,

h i s l as t w ill and testam en t a nd g iv ing all th e in forma

,

t ion i n h is powe r to trace h is wi fe i f li vi ng o r h is hei r , , ,

i f such ex isted H e enjoin e d by the most sac red in

.
,

j u nc t ions u po n h i m t o w ho m th e charge was com m i tted ,

that n either cos t n or t ro ub le sho u l d be s pa r ed i n t h e

sea rc h leav i ng a larg e s u m i n ready m on ey be sides to
, ,

establish th e r igh t i n case h is n ephew d isputed t h e w i ll

,
.

By h is o wn o rder his dea t h was kept s ecr et a n d secre tl y

, ,

h is ag en t s e t t o work t o di scov er any t rac e o f t he h ei r .

Th is i n c on seq uen ce o f t he wo man ch anging h er p lace

,

o f abod e be came more d ifli c u lt ; an d it w as

,
no t u n t i l
aft er very m i n u t e i n qu iry t ha t som e t race wa s p icked
u p an d a l e tt er written t o th e pari sh p ries t of th e d is
,

t ric t t o w hich s h e h ad re mo v ed m ak in g cer t ai n gen era l,

i n qu iri e s I t was fou nd o n co m pari ng dates s ome t i me

.
,

afte r t h a t i t w as th i s v ery l etter t o Fa t h er B lake w h ich

,

An dy had p u rl o ined fro m t he pos t o fli c e and t h e S qu i re -

h ad t h row n i n t o t h e fi re ; so t ha t o u r hero was very

n ear by h i s b lu nderin g des t roy i ng h is o wn fortu n e
, , .

Luc k i l y f o r h im howev er an u n ti ring and i n t ellige n t

, ,

agen t wa s e ngaged i n his cau se a n d a s ubsequ en t in ,

qu iry and fin ally a pe rson a l v is i t t o Father B l ake

, ,

c leared t h e m at t er u p sa t i s factori ly a n d t he w i dow wa s ,

enab led t o prod u c e s uch proo f o f he r identi ty a nd t ha t ,

o f h er s o n t hat H andy A ndy wa s i nd is putab l y Lord

,

S cat t erb rai n ; an d the whole a ff ai r w as m anaged s o

sec re t ly tha t t h e de a th o f the l a te l ord and t h e c lai m o f
, ,

t i tle a n d es t ate s i n t h e n a me o f th e righ t fu l h e ir w e r e ,

5 7 2 Ha n dy A n dy
an n ou nced at h sam e m omen t and t he Honou rab l e
t e ;
S ackv ille i nstead f com i ng i n to possess io n f the
,
o o

pe er age and property and fi gh ting h is ad v e r sary at th e

,

g r eat ad v antage f possess ion cou ld o nly co mme nce a

o ,

su it to d rive h i m out i f he s ued a t all ,

.

O u r lim its com pel u s to t h i s brie f sketc h f the o

c i r cu mstances through whic h H an dy A ndy was e ntitled

to an d becam e po ssessed f a prop e rty an d a t itle a n d o ,

we must now say somet hi ng f th e e ffec t s prod uced by o

t he intelligenc e o n th e pa r ties most co ncern ed .

The Honourable S ackv il le S catte rbra in o n the ad v ic e ,

o f h igh legal authority d id not attem pt t o d ispute a ,

s ucc ession f wh ic h suc h satis facto y proofs ex is t ed and

o r , ,

fortu nate l y fo r h im self had knocked u p a watering plac e ,

-

match wh i le h e was ye t i n the b loo m f heirs h i p p

,
o re

su mp i t o a p eerage w ith t he daughter f a n English

t ve ,
o

milli i on a r e .

Wh e n th e Wi dow Rooney h e ard th e ex t rao rdi n ary

tu rn a ff airs had take n her e moti ons afte r t h e first few , ,

ho urs f p leasu rable su rpri se partook f regre t rat h er

o , o

than sat isfact io n S he looked u pon h er past li fe f

. o

su ff eri ng and felt as i f Fate h ad c heated her S he a

, .
,

pee ress had passed her l i fe in po v erty an d su ff eri ng

, ,

w ith co n t em pt fro m those o v er w ho m s h e had su perior

rig h ts an d t h e few years f t he prosperou s fut u r e
; o

before h er o ff er e d her poor com pensa t io n for the pin ch

i ng pas t B ut afte r s uc h sel fi sh con si de ratio ns th e
.
,

maternal fe el ing ca me t o h er re lief a nd sh e rejo iced th a t ,

b e r sonwas a lo rd B u t t hen came th e terrib l e though t

.

o f hi s marriage to das h h er joy and t ri u m ph .

Th is was a sou rce f grief to O onah as w e ll If

o .
“

h e was m ar r i ed sh e wou ld y t o hersel f I m ight

’
n t ,
”
sa ,
“

be L dy S catte r brai n
a a nd t h e te ars would bu rst ;
”

t h r ough poo r O h fi ngers as h held them u p to

ona
’
s s e

h e r eyes and sobbed heav i l y t il l th e poor gir l wou ld t ry ,

t o gath er con solatio n from t he tho ugh t that maybe , ,

A n dy s a lt e r e d c irc u mstanc e s would make b d isregarded

’
er .
5 74 Ha n dy A n dy
prom isi ng hi mse l f I n D ub l i n i t wou l d no t ha v e don e
.

for D ic k D awso n to al low the m an who wo uld ha v e

held h is ho rse the d ay befor e t o s hare the same board ,

w ith h i m mere ly because Fo rt un e h ad played f he r on e o

frolics and mad e An dy a lord bu t in Londo t h e c ase ; n

was d i ff eren t .

To Lo n do n t h e refor e t hey proceeded The i n c idents .

o f the j ou rn ey s ickness in clud ed whi ch

, se a -
astonished ,
so

the new t ra v eller w e pass ove r as wel l as t he n u mbe r

, ,

l
e SS m i stakes i n t he grea t me t ro polis wh ich a ff orded ,

D ick plen ti fu l a mus e m en t though i n truth D ick had

, , ,

better objects i n v iew than laugh i ng at A ndy s embar ’

r a ss me n t s i n h is new po sit ion H e really w ished to .

h el p h i m i n the d i ffi cu lt path i nto wh ich t h e new lord

had bee n th ru st and di d t hi s i n a merry sor t o f way
,

more s ucces s fully t han by serious d ri lli n g It was hard .

to b reak A ndy o f t h e hab it of say i ng M ist h e r D ick ”

,

when add ressing hi m but at last M is t h e r D awso n

, , ,

was estab lished Eati ng wit h h i s kn ife d ri nki ng as

.
,

loudly as a ho rs e a nd o ther li ke accom plis hmen ts were

, ,

n o t s o eas ily got u nder yet it was wond erfu l how mu ch

,

b e im prov ed as h is Shyness g r e w le ss a n d h is cons ci ous

, ,

n es s of bei ng a lord grew stronge r .

B ut if th e good n ature o f D ick had not prom p t ed h i m

,

to t ake A ndy i nto t rai ni ng the newly d isco v ered noble

,

m an wo u ld n ot ha ve long been i n wan t o f s oc iety I t .

was wo nderfu l how many person s were eager to s ho w

civ i l ity t o h is l ord shi p and som e amo ngst them e v e n
,

wen t s o far as t o d is cover re l ation shi p Plen ty were .

soo n r e ady to t ake Lord S catte rbrai n here and esco r t ,

h i m ther e acco mpany hi m t o exhibit ions an d othe r pub

,

lic p l aces an d c harm ed all t h e tim e wi th his l ords hi p s

,
’

remarks they w e re s o origi n al qu it e d el ight fu l

to meet someth i ng so fr es h how rem arkab ly c le v er
th e I ris h we r e ! ”
S uc h w e re amo ng the obse r v atio ns
h is ignorant b l u n de rs prod uc e d ; an d he who a s Han d y ,

A ndy had be en an ath e ma t is e d a ll h is l i fe a s a “ stu pi d

,
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 75
rasca l ,
a b l u n de ring t hief
”
a t hick h e aded b ru t e ,
” “ -

& c ., u nder t h e t it l e f Lord S ca tt erbrai n al l f a su dd e n

o o

was v o t ed vas tl y amusi n g — l itt le e cc e ntri c p e rhaps a , ,

bu t dro ll
so i n fac t w it t y ! ,
so
”

Th is was a ll v ery d e l igh t fu l f A ndy de l ight fu l or so

tha t b q ui t e forgo t Bridge t b

e B u t that l ady d id n o t r ua .

leav e h i m l ong i n hi happy ob l ivio usn ess O n e day s .

,

w h i le D ic k was ab s en t and A ndy rocki ng ,

a c hai r on

before t he fire twi rling t h e m ass i ve go l d chai n f hi s

,
o

go ld wa t ch rou nd hi s for e fing e r a n d u n co i l ing i t agai n , ,

h is repos e was sudd e n ly di s t u rbed by t he a pp e ara n ce f o

B ridge t herse l f accom pa n ied by Sb M

,
and a s hri m p an or e

o f a man i rusty b l ac k wh t u r n ed
n be a shabby
,
o out to
a tt o rn e y wh ad vanced m o ney o conv e y h i l ady c li e n t to s

an d her b ro t h e r Lo n don f t h e purpos e f m ak ing a

to ,
or o

d ash a t t he l ord a t o n ce and s e curi ng a ha n dsom e m ,

su

by a p d m i
cou e a n.

A ndy t ho ugh t ak en by su rprise was r e so l u t e B i t ter

, , .

words we re e x ch ange d and th ey s ee m e d l i ke l y

; as to
l ead t o b l ows A n dy prude ntly l aid hold f t he po ker a nd
,
o , ,

i n l anguag e q ui t e sui t ed a n ob l e l ord swore h e

n ot to ,

w ou l d wh a t t h e i n si d e f Sb
se e M h e ad w o an or e s
’
as

mad e f i f h e a tt em p t ed
o , ad v a n ce u pon h i m B ridge tto .

scream e d a n d sco l d e d w hil e t h e a tt orn ey e n deavo u red

,
to
keep t h e p e ac e a n d beyond e v ery t h i ng u rged Lord
, , ,

S ca t terbrai n e n te r a t onc e i n t o w ri tt en en gageme n t s

to
for a handso m e se t t lem e n t u po n h i l ady s
“
.
”

Lady ! exc l ai med A n dy

”
h — pr ett y l dy ; o a a

s h i !
e s
“ I m good a l ady y ar e a l o rd a n y how cr i e d
’
as as ou , ,

Bridge t .

A lt erca t io n w i ll d good my l ord a n d my l ady

o no , ,

sa id t h e a tt orn ey let me sugges t t he propri ety f yo u r

;
“ o

writi n g a n en gagem e n t a t onc e an d t h e l i ttle ma n ;

pu shed pen i n k a n d pa p e r t owards A n dy
, ,
.

I ca n t I t el l y’

,
cri e d A n dy ou .

Y m u st
ou roar e d Sb M an or e .
 Ha n dy A n dy
Bad l u ck t o you how can I whe n I ne v er l arn e d
,
”
Yo ur l ordsh ip can make y our m a rk said th e
’

attorn ey .

F aith I can — w ith a pok e r c ried A ndy ; “ and

’

you d be t t e r t ake care m aster parchm ent M ake my

’

, .

ma r k i ndeed ! — do you t h i n k I d d isgrace the H ous e

,
’

0 Peers by l ett in o n t ha t a l ord cou l d n t w rite

’

Q
’ ’
i it

the b u ild in I t ell y ou !

’

I n t he m id s t of t he ro w wh ich n o w ros e t o a t re me n
,

dou s pitch D i c k r e turned ; an d a ft er a sev e re rep r i mand

,

to the pe t ti fogger for hi s sin ist e r a t temp t o n A ndy ,

re ferred h i m to Lord S catterbrai n s solic i t or I t was ’

.

n ot s uch an easy matter t o s ilen ce B ridget wh o e xtend e d ,

her c laws towards her lo r d an d m aster i n a ve ry m en ac

i ng man ner c alli ng down bitter i m pr e ca t ions o n h er o wn
,

h e ad i f Sh e would n t h av e her rights ’

.

Every n ow and then b etween th e bu rs t s o f t h e s t o rm

A ndy would excl ai m Get o u t ,

My lo rd said D ick r e memb e r you r d ign ity

”
, , .

“
A v c o o rse ! said A ndy ; b u t s t il l sh e m u s t g et
” “

out

The house was at l ast c l ea r ed o f the u proarious pa rt y ;

b u t t hough A n dy got rid o f thei r p resence they left their ,

st ing beh i nd Lo rd S ca t te r brai n fe l t for t he fi rs t t ime

.
, ,

that a l ord can be v e ry u n happy .

D ick h u rried h i m away at onc e t o th e ch ambers o f

t h e law agen t bu t h e bei ng close t ed o n some v ery
, ,

im port an t busi n ess w i t h anothe r c l ien t o n t hei r arri v al ,

ret urn ed an answe r t o t hei r ap plication for a con fere nce ,

wh ich t hey fo rwarded th rough t he doubl e doors o f t his

san c t u m by a hard lookin g man w it h a pen beh i n d h is
-

e ar tha t h e co u ld not hav e t h e pleasu r e of seei ng them

,

t ill t he n e x t mo rn ing Lo r d S cat t erbrai n passed a more

.

un happy n igh t than he had ev er d on e i n h is life even

tha n tha t w h en h e w as t ied u p to th e o ld t r ee c roak e d
at by ra v en s an d t h e despised o f rats
,
.

Negotiatio n s wer e op ene d t h e n ex t d ay be t w e en t h e

 C HA PTE R X LIX

Q U I RE EGAN w ith h is l ady an d Fa n ny Dawson

S
, ,

had n ow arri v ed i n Lond on ; M u rt o u g h M u r p h y ,

t oo ,
had joi ned t he m h is s er v ic e s be ing requ is ite i n
,

w o r k i ng the peti tio n aga i nst the retu rn o f t he s i tti ng

m e mbe r for t h e cou n t y Th i s had s o m u ch p ro m ise o f
.

su ccess a bo ut it that the o pposit e party w ho h ad t he

, ,

she r i ff for th e cou n ty i n thei r i nterest bethought o f a ,

n o v el ex ped ient to fr ustrate th e pet it ion wh en a re feren c e

t o the po ll was requi red .

T hey dec l ared the p r i n ci pal po l l book was l os t -

.

This seemed n ot v e ry satisfactory to o n e side o f the

com mittee and the qu estio n w as asked
,
how cou ld i t ,

be los t Th e answer was on e wh ich I rish co nt r i v ance

alon e cou l d hav e i n v e nted : It fi ll in t o a pot qf br ot b
“
’

,
” 1
a nd t be d og a te it .

Th is p rot r acted t he con te st for som e t i me ; b u t

e v entually i n spite o f t he dog s d e v o uring k now ledge s o
,
’

g r e ed ily t h e S qu i re w as d eclared d uly elec t ed and took

,

t h e oaths an d hi s seat fo r t he county .

It was hard o n S ackv i l le S catterbrai n t o l ose h is sea t

i n t h e hou se and a peerage n early a t on ce ; bu t t h e ,

latter l oss t h rew t he former s o far in t o t h e shad e t hat he ,

scarc ely felt i t Besides h e cou l d con sol e h i msel f wi th

.
,

ha v ing b ut t er e d his cru mbs pretty wel l in t h e m arriage

m arket ; an d with a ric h wi fe re tir e d from senatoria l
, ,

1 If n ot t his i d i al a sw r s
e nt c n e o me t n lhi g ik i t wa s giv
e e n on a
d ispu t d I rish l t i bfr a i H us
,

e e ec on , e o e C o mm tt e e f h o t e o e of

C o mm on s .
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 79
d rudg e ry t o pri v a t e repos e wh ich w m u c h mor e ,
as co n

g e n ia l t o h is e asy te mper .

B u t w h i le t he S q u i re s hap py fam ily c irc l e was ’

re

j i
o c ni g i n hi s t ri u mph — wh il e he was i n vi te d t o t he
S peak e r s d in ners an d th e lad i e s we re l ooking fo rward
’

t o t ickets for t he l ant e rn t h e ir p l e as u re was sudde n ly

“
,

d ashed by fata l n e ws from I re l a n d .

A serio us acciden t had b e falle n M aj or D awso n -

so

serious t ha t h i s li fe was d e spair e d f and an i mmedia te

,
o ;
return t o I re l and by al l w ho w e r e in t eres t ed i n h is l i fe
w t he conseq u e n c e
as .

Though t he sudd e nn e ss f t hi s pai n ful ev e n t Shock e d o

his f am i ly t he ac t wh ic h caus e d i t d id
,
s u rpri se th em not ;
f or i t was agai ns t w hi ch M aj or D aw so n had been
o ne

repea t ed l y caution e d i n vo l v ing a danger h e h ad be en

,

a ff e ction ate ly re quested n o t te m p t bu t th e hab itu a l to ;

obs t inacy f his n atu re p revai l ed and he persis t ed i n
o ,

d oi ng t ha t w hich h is — an d h i d aughters — a n d
so n s

fri en ds p ro ph e s ied w ld k ill h i m so m e t i me ou oth er or ,

a n d did a t l as t Th e M ajor had t hree l i t t le i ro n gu n s

, .
,

m ou n t ed carriages
on a t e rrac e i n fron t f h is ho use
,
on o ;
a nd it was hi wo n t s fire a sa l u te to ce rt ain fes t i v al on

days fr o m t h ese gu n s wh i ch fro m ag e and ex posu re t o

, ,

th e weath er b e came dangerou s ,

I t was i n v ai n t o u se .

t ha t th is danger was r e pres e n t ed h im H e wou ld to .

re ply w i t h h is acc us t o m e d Po oh poo h ! I h ave bee n

, ,

firi ng th ese gu ns f for t y y e ars and th e y wo n t do m e

or ,
’

”
an
y harm n ow .

Th i s was th e p ri m e fau lt f t h e M ajor s charac t e r o

’
.

T i m e a nd c i rcu mstances were n e v er t ak e n i nto a ccou nt

by h im w ha t w as d one o n ce m igh t b e do n e lw y
; ,
a a s

ou
g b t to b e don e always The b a re t hough .t f cha n ge o

o f any sor t t o h im w ,
u n bearable an d whether it w
,
as ; as

a rotten ld l aw o a ro tte n ld gu n he wou ld ch arg e

or o ,

bot h u p t o t h e m u zz l e and fir e away r e gardless o f ,

con

s e quenc e s The r e su lt w th a t
. a cer t ai n festi v a l his
as, on

f a v ou r itegu n bu rs t i n d ischargi n g ; an d t h e l as t m orta l

5 80 Ha n dy A n dy
ac t f wh ich the M aj or was con sc ious was t ha t f pu t
o ,
o

t i ng the por t fi t o t h e t ou ch hol e for a heavy Spli nte r

-
re ,

o f i ro n Struc k hi m t h e head an d though he li ved fo r

on ,

som e d ay s afterw ards he was insen sible Before h i s ,

.

c hi ld re a r riv e d h e was n o m ore an d t he only d uty

n ;
left the m to perfo rm w as t he m elanc holy f o rdering on e o

h is funeral .

T h e obsequ i e s f the ld Maj or wer e hono u red by a

o o

large an d d istingui shed att e ndance from al l parts f t he o

cou n try and amongst those wh o bore th e pal l was Ed ward

;
O C
’
w ho had t he melancho ly grat i fi cat ion f tes
o n n o r, o

i fy i g h is r e spect b e s ide the g r a v e o f Fanny s fath er

’
t n ,

thoug h the sev e r e o l d man had ban is hed h i m from h is

pr e se nc e d u ring h is l i fet im e .

B u t n ow al l ob stacle t o the u n io n of Edward an d

Fan ny was rem ov ed an d afte r t h e laps e f a few ; o

d ays h ad so fte ned t h e bitter grief wh i h t hi s sudde n b c e

r e a ve m of her father had produced Edward received

e nt ,

a n ote fro m D ic k i n v it ing h im to the m anor hous e ,

-

w here ll wou ld b e g l ad to see h im

a .

I n a few min utes after t he recei pt f t ha t n ot e Edward o

was i n h is saddle an d sw i ftly lea v in g th e m i les behi n d

,

him till fr o m the t op of a risin g grou nd th e roof o f

, ,

t h e manor house app e ar e d abov e t h e t rees i n wh ich i t

-

was em bosomed H e had no t t i l l t hen S l ack e ned h i s

.

speed but now drawing rei n h e p roceeded at a slow e r

; ,

p ace toward s th e h ouse he had no t en t e red for some

y ears and th e sigh t f wh ich awaken ed such v aried
, o

em o t o ns
i .

To retu r n after l ong y e ars f pai n fu l absenc e t o some o

p l ace w hic h has b ee n the scen e f fo rm er joys and o our ,

w hen ce th e force f ci rcu msta nce and not choi ce has o , ,

dri v e n us i s o ppr e ss ive t o th e heart

,
There is a .

m ixe d sen s e f r e gre t a n d rejoic ing wh i c h st uggl e for

o ,
r

predo mi n ance we r ejo ic e that ; term f exi le has ex ou r o

p i d b u t we reg r et t h e years wh ich tha t e x i le h as d e

re ,

duct e d from t h e brief a mou n t f hu man li fe ne v e r o , to

5 8 2 Ha n dy A n dy
morn ing had been u nd e r th e i n fl u e n c e f fee l ing s S i m i l a r
, o

to Edward s had fe l t th e same y earn ings the sam e

’

; —

tender doubts the same fon d soli ci tud e t ha t he shou ld

—

be th e sam e Edward from whom she parted B ut h . s e

thought f m th an t h is w ith the e x q uisite l y deli cate

o or e ;
co ntriv ance b e longi ng to wom an s n a t u re h w ished to ’

,
S e

g ive h i m a s ign al f her fon d reco l lectio n a nd was pluck

o
,

i ng the flower h gat hered when he d eclared his lo v e to

s e ,

p lace on her boso m when t hey Sh ould meet Edward .

felt t h e m ean i ng of her act io n as the gracefu l h and ,

broke th e fl ower from i ts stem H e would ha v e rush ed .

t oward s her at onc e bu t that t he d eep m ou rn i ng i n

,

wh ic h she was array ed seem ed to command a g entle r

approac h fo r grief co m man ds respect H e ad v an ced
; .

soft ly h heard a gent l e S tep behi n d her — t u rn ed

s e

u tt e red a fai nt exc l am atio n f joy an d s an k i nto his o ,

arms ! I n a few moments She r e covered h er co n

i and op e n ing her sweet ey es u po n h i m
s c o u sn e s s , ,

b reath ed so ftly dear Edward

,
a n d th e li ps wh ic h ,

i n two words had ex pressed ,

m u ch we r e i m pressed
so ,

w ith a fer v ent ki ss i n t he b l essed con sc iousn ess f pos o

session ,
out h a t ve ry s po t w he re the fi rs t t i mid and
do ubti ng word of l o v e had been Spoken .

I n that m om en t h e was rew ard ed for all h i s years f o

absence an d anx iety H i s h eart was satis fi ed he fel t

.
;
he was dea r as eve r to t he wom an he idoli sed and the ,

s ho rt an d h u rried beati ng f b b thei r h e a r ts t ol d m o r e

o ot

t han words could ex press Word s — wha t w e r e word s .

to th e m — thought was t oo swi ft for th ei r u s e and

?
,

fe e l i ng t oo stro ng for t hei r utterance but they d ran k ;

fro m each o t her s eyes larg e d a ugh t s f d el igh t and
’
r o , ,

i n t h e s ilent pressure o f eac h other s welco m ing e m ’

b race fel t how tru ly t hey lov e d each other

,
.

H e led h er gen t ly from the co ns e r v a t ory and t hey ,

exc h anged w ords f a ff ect io n so ft and low as th ey

o
“
,
”

sau nter e d t h rough t h e wooded path wh ich surro u nded

t h e hou s e Th at li ve lo ng day t hey wand e red up an d
.
-
 Ha n dy A n dy 5 83
dow n t oge t her repea t i n g agai n an d agai n t h e a n x iou s
,

year n i n gs wh ich oc cu pied t h ei r years f s e parati on ye t o ,

ask ing e ac h o t h er was n o t al l mo r e t h a n repaid by th e

g l ad ness f t he prese n t
o
“ Ye t b w p ain fu l has be en th e pas t !
o e xc l ai m e d
Edward .

B ut w nosa id Fan ny w ith a g e n t le press ure f

! ”
, o

he r t iny h an d Ed ward s arm and l ook ing u p t o

on
’

h i m w i t h her brigh t eyes but w no ! ”

“ Tru e dar l ing ,
h e cried is u n gra te fu l t o
.
”
;
’
t
t hi n k f t he past wh i l e enjoy i n g s u ch a pres e n t and
o

w i t h s uch a fu t u re befo re m e B le ss t hat cheerfu l .

h e ar t an d t hose hope i nspi ri ng g l a n c e s ! O h Fan ny !

,
—
,

i n t h e w i l der n ess f l i fe t he r e are springs an d pa l m

o

t r e es — y ar e both
ou m e ! a n d heave n h i to as se t ts

o w mark upon y
n i n t hos e l augh in g b l u e ey e s wh ic h
ou

might d es pai r a t d e fia nc e
se t .
”

Poe t ica l ever Ed ward ! said Fan ny l augh i n g

as , ,
.

“ S i t do wn deares t for a mome n t t h is ld t re e

, , ,
on o ,

b e s ide m e i ; t h e fi rs t t ime I hav e s t rung rhy me s

’
t s n ot

i n y o u r p re se n ce a nd y ou r prais e H e t ook a s mall .

n o te boo k fro m h is pocke t an d Fa nn y l ooked

-
sm i l , on

i g ly
n Edward s pe n c i l r apid l y ra n ov e r t h e l eaf a n d
as
’

t raced t h e l over s t rib u t e h i m is t r e ss ’

to s .

T HE UN S S HI N E I N YO U

I t is sw t wh ee k r u d h wi d w rld s w a st
en we l oo o n t e e o
’
e

k w h at h d s r b st w
To no t t e e e t e o s

T h p al ms wh r
e w ary h a t m y r st e e the e e r a e

T h spri g th a t i puri ty fl ws
,

e n n o

A d wh r h a v f u d
.

n e e e I o n

this wi ld r ss r u d
In e ne o n

T ha t sp i g d h a t sh l t r t ru
r n an t e e so e

U fai li g i d n n n nee

A d my w id d n o n, n
,

ee

h Od ar st I f u d it i y
e e ,
’
ve o n n ou
 Ha n dy A n dy

A wh h l u d f s m dark i g h u
nd , o h en t e c o o o e en n o r

h d w h s u l wi t h i g l m
O
’

e rs a o s t e o ts oo

T h wh r is h l ight f h v st al p w
,
’
en e e t e o t e e o r,

T h la mp f p al H p
e oi ll u m e o e to e

h l ight v r l i s
O t he e e e

th s brigh t f d y s
In o e on e e

W h r H av h i mp w blu
,

d it s
’
e e e en as re ss o n e

s a s al fr m h s k i s
A e o t e e

s my h a r r l i s
A e t e e

th a t gi f t f i t s su shi i y
On o n ne n ou

F an ny liked t he l i nes f cou rse Dearest h , o .

“
, s e

sai d m ay I al way s pro v e s un sh in e to you

,
I i t not S

a S t rang e coi ncid ence t hat th ese l i ne s exact ly fi t a l ittle

ai r whi ch occu rr e d to m e som e t im e ago
T i s dd
’
o said Ed ward
,
”
sing i t to me d a r l ing ,
.

Fanny t ook th e verses fro m h is h an d an d su ng them ,

t o her w measu r e O h hap py t rium ph f the poet

o n .
,
o

to hear h is v erses w e dded to sweet sou nds an d warbled ,

by t he woman he lo v es Ed ward caught u p t h e strai n ,

add in g h is v oi ce hers i n harmony and th us they sau n

to ,

t red hom ew ards t ro ll i ng th e ir ready m ade d uet toget her

o ,
-
.

There wer e not t wo happi er hea ts i n t he worl d th a t day r

than thos e f Fa nn y Dawso n a n d Edward O C

o
’
o n n o r.
5 86 Ha n dy A n dy
h av ing a n o t io n t ha t an Eng l ish acc ent was g ent e e l h e ,

desired t h at G u s t y and Rat ty sho u ld pass a y ea r u n der

t he roo f f a cl ergy man i n E ng l and who rece i v ed a
o ,

li m ited n u mb e r f you ng ge n tl emen f t h e comp letio n

o or

o f t hei r e d u cation G us t avu s wou ld mu c h rather h a ve

.

r e m ained n ear Edward O C who had al ready done

’
o n n o r,

so m uc h fo r h i m bu t Ed ward t hough he regretted

; ,

part ing w it h Gu s t av u s re co mmend e d h i m t o accede t o

,

h is u n cle s w i sh e s t hough h e d id n o t
’

,
t h e n ecess ity se e

o f a n I rish g e ntlem an b e i ng ash amed f h is accen t o .

Th e v isit to E nglan d h owev e r was postponed t i l l t h e

, ,

spring a nd th e w i nt e r m on t h s were u sed by G ustavu s

,

i n av ail i ng h imse l f as mu ch as h e c ou l d f Edward s o

’

assistan ce i n pu t t i ng h i m th rough his classics h is prid e ,

prompt in g h i m t o pr e s ent h i ms e lf cr e d i t ab ly t he Eng to

lis h clergy man .

I t was i n vai n t o plead b prid e Ra tty who p ai d

su c to ,

mo r e at t ent ion t o Shooti ng t ha n hi s l esso ns H is mother .

s t ro ve to p e rsu ade — Ra tt y w d eaf H is g ra n as .

“

strov e to b rib e Ra tt y was i ncorru ptible Gu sty .

argu e d Ra tt y answer e d a fter h i s w fash io n

— o n .

Why wo n t yo u le arn e v e n a l it tl e ?
’ ”

“
I m to go
’
th at Engl ish fellow i n s prin g a n d I
to ,

Sh all hav e n o fu n t h e n so I m mak ing good ,

of my
’
u se

t me n ow
i .
”

D o yo u cal l it good us e t o b e d r e ad fu l ly id le so
a nd shameful ly igno ran t ?
“
B h ot — th e less I know t h e mor e t he English
er l
,

fellow w ill hav e t o t each me and Unc le B ob wi l l h a v e ,

m ore wor t h for hi s mon ey a n d t h en Ra tt y wou ld ;

”

w h ist l e a j ig fl i ng a fow ling pi ece ov e r h is sho u l der an d

,
—
,

s h out Pon t o ! Po nto ! Po nto

“
as he t rav ersed th e
S t ab le yard t h e de l igh t ed poi n t er wou ld com e bou n d ing
-

;
at th e call and after circli ng rou n d h is you ng m as te r
, ,

w ith agile grace and y el ps f g le e a t t h e Sigh t f the gu n o o ,

dash forward t o the wel l k now bot t oms i e age r

-
n
“ ”
n

e xp ec t ancy f duc ks a n d sni pe

o .
 A n dyH a n dy 5 87

H w far e d i t a ll t hi s t i m e w ith t h e l o rd f S catte r

o o

b rai n ? H e beca me es t ab l ished fo r t h e pres en t i n a , ,

house t ha t had bee n a long t i me to le t i n t h e n eig h b ou r

hood an d h is m othe r was p l aced at th e he ad f i t a nd
,
o ,

O o nah S t il l re mai ned u n de r h i s p ro t ec t ion thoug h t h e ,

d aily Sight f t h e g ir l added t o A ndy s g r ie f at t h e

o
’

des pera t e p ligh t i n w hich h is i l l Starred m a r r iag e p l aced -

h i m to y n othing f the constan t an n oy an ce f h i

,
sa o o s

m other s growl ing a t hi m f h is maki n g su ch a j udy

’
or

o f h imse lf f t h e dowage r Lady S cat t erbrai n cou ld

; or

n o t ge t rid f he r v ocabu lary a t o nce An dy s on ly

o .
’

r e so u rce u n der t h e s e c irc u mstan ces was t o mo u n t h i s

horse an d fly .

A f s t h e dowage r Lady S cat t erbrain she h ad a car

or ,

i g wi th
r a e a p ict u re it as h ca l led t he coa t f on ,
s e o

arm s an d w fon d f dri v ing pas t t he h ous e s f peo ple

,
as o o

w ho ha d b e en u n ci v i l h e r Agains t M C asey (th e

to . rs .

reno wn e d M a tty D wy e r) Sh e e n ter tai n ed a n es peci a l

s pit e i n co n s id e ra t io n f her t r e a t m ent f her bea uti fu l
,
o o

b y and h e r w pai r f blac k e y e s

o o n h determ in ed
o ; so S e

to pay h e r ff i n h e r w way a nd s t oppin g

o
”
dayo n ,
one

a t t h e ho l e i n t h e hedg e wh ic h serv ed for en t ra nce t o the

esta t e f t h e t h re e co r n ered fie l d Sh e s e n t t h e foo t
o -

,
”

man i n y t
tohe d
sa wj Lady S b wan
o t ed er c att e r r ee n to

S peak w i t h C asey s wi fe ’
.

Wh e n t h e s e rva n t accord ing i n s t ru c t ion s d el iv e red

,
to ,

t his me ssage h e w sen t back wi th t h e an swer th a t

,
as ,

i f any l ady wan te d C asey s wi fe Casey s w ife

t o se e
’

,
’

,
’

w as a t home .
”

O h g bac k a n d t e l l t h e poor w oma I d on t wan t

,
o ,
n
’

to b ring he r t h e doo r f my carriage if i i

to y o ,
t
’
S n co nva

n ie n t I on l y w ished giv e h er a litt le help and t e l l

. to
her if h se n d s up eggs t o th e b ig hous e Lady S catter
s e ,

b reen w i ll pay her f t hem or .

When t he s e rv an t del iv e r e d t h is message M a tt y ,

grew o u t rag e ou s a t th e mean s my l ady t ook f o

crowi n g ov e r h e r a n d rush ing t h e door wi t h h e r

,
to ,
5 88 Ha n dy A n dy
face fl ush e d with rage roared , Te ll t h e o ld bag
out,
“

gage I wa n t non e o f h e r cus t om ; le t her l ay eggs f o r

h e r self
.
”

Th e se r v an t stagge red bac k i n am az e ; a nd M a tty ,

feeli ng h e would n ot de li v e r her message ra n t o t he hole ,

i n the h edge an d repeated he r an swer to my l ady hersel f ,

wit h a g r ea t d ea l m o r e w h ic h n eed n o t b e reco rded .

S u ffi ce it to say my lady t h ought it n ecessary t o pu ll u p

,

the glass ag ains t wh ich hi at t y th r ew a hand fu l o f m ud ;

,

th e servant j umped u p o n h is perch behi n d t he carri age ,

w hi ch was rapid ly d r i v e n a way by th e coachm an bu t ,

n o t so fas t th at M at t y cou ld not by d i n t o f ru nn ing

, ,

kee p i t w ithi n range fo r so me seco nds d u ring wh i ch ,

ti m e sh e cont ri v ed to pelt both coachm an an d footm an

w ith m ud an d leav e her mark o n thei r n ew l i very Th is
, .

was a salutary warn ing t o th e o ld wom an who was more ,

cautiou s i n he r d emon st r at ion s o f g randeur fo r th e futu re .

I f sh e was stin ted i n t h e enj oym ent o f h er n ew born -

d ign ity ab road sh e could i nd ulge it at home without l e t

,

o r h ind ran ce ,
an d to th i s en d asked A n dy t o le t her
ha v e a hun d red po un ds i n o ne pou nd notes f o r a par
,
-

t ic u la r pu rpose What th is pu rpose was no o n e was

.

told o r co u ld guess bu t fo r a good wh i le after s h e u sed

,

t o be closeted by hersel f fo r se v e r al hou rs during th e

da
!A ndy had h is hou rs o f reti rem en t also fo r w ith p rais e ,

wo rthy i n d us t ry h e stro v e hard poor fellow to lift

, ,

hi mse lf abov e the state o f ignoranc e an d had da ily a t ,

tendan ce from the parish schoolm aster The mysteri es .

o f pothooks a nd ha ng e rs an d A B C w e ig h ed hea v i ly
o n the n ob leman s m ind
’
wh i ch m u st ha v e sun k u n der
,

t h e b u rden o f s cho la r sh i p and pen mansh i p b ut for the ,

ot h er “ s hi p — the horsemanshi p — w h ic h was A ndy s ’

daily self—est ab l ished reward for h is persev erance i n his

l esson s Bes ides he r eally cou ld rid e ; and as it was th e
.

o nly accom pl ish men t of whic h he was m aste r i t was n o ,

wonder he enjoyed t he di sp lay o f it ; and t o s ay t h e ,

5 90 Ha n dy A n dy
leave y h e r e a n d he su spec t s y gav e m e t h e hard
” 1
ou , ou

word .

Nev e r m i n d me sai d Nance s av e y ou rse l f , ,

se e , b mo v i ng fast h e ll be ne ar e nough t o yo u s oon

e
’
S ,
’

t o fi re .

Ge t u p behi n d m e said A n dy ; I wo n t le av e y ,
’
ou

h e re .

Run I t e l l y , ou .

I wo n t ’
.
”

God b le ss y t h e n said t h e wom an as Andy h el d

ou , , ,

ou t h is h and and gri pped h ers firm ly .

Pu t y ou r foo t m i ne said A ndy on ,

”
.

The woma n obey ed a n d was s oo n seated beh in d ou r ,

h e ro gri ppi ng hi m fast by th e wais t whi le h e pushed h is

, ,

horse to a fast can te r .

Ho ld hard no w said An dy f t her e s a S t i ff , ,

“ or
’

j u m p here A he approach ed the d itch f wh ic h h e

.
”
S o

S poke two me n sp rang u p from it and

,
fired as ,
o ne ,

A n dy cleared t he l eap i n good Sty le Nance holdi ng o n ,

gallantly The h orse was n ot many strokes on th e oppo

.

s ite Sid e wh e n an o t h e r shot was fired i n the i r rear

, ,

followed by a scr e am fro m t he woman T A n dy s . o

’

h rep l ied i n the negative

”
i nq u i ry i f h was kilt
,
s e , s e ,

but s aid t hey hu r t her sor e a nd h was bleed ing a ,

s e

power bu t t ha t h cou l d s t il l ho l d
; howev e r and s e on , ,

u rged h i m t o s pe e d The c l earan c e f or t wo more

. o o ne

lea ps gave h e r gri e vou s pai n bu t a large co m mon soo n ;

o pened before th em wh ich was ski rt e d by a road l eading ,

d irectly t o a farm hou se where A ndy le ft the wou nded -

woman an d then galloped ff for m ed ica l aid t h is soo

,
o ; n

a rri v ed and th e wou nd was fou nd n o t t o b e dangerou s

, ,

though pain ful Th e b u lle t had struck and pi erced a .

t in v esse l f a bo tt l e form in wh ich Nanc e ca r ri ed th e

o ,

liqu id gratui t i e s f th e ch aritabl e and t h is n o t o n ly d e ad

o ,

e n ed th e forc e f t h e ball bu t glan ced it also a n d th e

o , ;
e scapem e nt f t he b utt e r m i l k w hich th e v e ss e l
o -

,
con

H a rd w rd i mp l i s a a u ti
1 o e c on .
 Ha n dy A n dy 59 1

i d Na n c e h ad m is t ak en for t he e ff us io n f h e r w
ta ne ,
o o n

blood I t w a c lear c ase how e ve r t h at i f Nan c e had

. as , ,

not bee n s itting behi nd A ndy Lord S ca tte rbrai n wou ld

,

h av e bee n a d ead ma n ,
t h a t hi gra t i t ud e a n d g ll
so s a an

t ry t o wards t he poor b e ggar woma n prov e d t h e mea n s f o

pr e serv i ng h i w l i fe
s o n .
 C H A PTE R LI

HE n e ws o f t h e attack o n Lord S ca tt erbrai n ra n

ov er the cou ntry li ke w i ldfi re a nd h is co nduc t ,

t h ro ug h out the a ff ai r ra ised h is charact e r wonde r fully i n

the o pi n io n o f all c la sses M any who had h itherto held
.

aloo f from t h e m u shroom lo rd cam e fo rward to recog

,

n ise the manly fel low a nd ca r d s were left at “ the big

,

ho us e,
”
whi ch we r e n e ve r see n ther e b e fore The .

magistra t es were act i v e in th e a ff air and a reward was ,

i m med ia t ely o ff ered fo r the ap p rehens ion o f the o ff en

d ers ; b u t be fore any acti v e ste ps cou ld be taken by t he
authorit ies A ndy i mmed i ately a fter the attack collect e d
, , ,

a few stout fellows h imself an d k nowi ng w he r e t he den

,

o f S hari an d his m iscreants lay h e set o ff at t he head o f

,

his par t y to try i f he cou ld not secu r e them h imse lf ; bu t

before h e d i d t his b e d es patched a veh icle to the farm
,

h ou se w her e poor Nance lay wounded w i th o rd ers t h a t

, ,

sh e shou ld be removed to h i s ow n h o u se the doctor ,

havi ng said that the tra ns it would n 0t b e i nj u rious .

A Sho r t t i me served t o b r ing A n dy and h is fol lowers

to t he priva t e stil l where a l ittle looking abou t e nabled
,

t hem to d iscover t h e ent ran ce which was cov e red by ,

some l arge ston e s and a bu nch of fu r z e plac e d as a mas k

,

to th e open ing I t was clear tha t i t was impossible for

.

any p e rso n s i nside to hav e thus co v er e d the entran ce and ,

it suggested t h e po ssib i lity t h at so me o f it s u su al in mates

were then absen t Neve rtheless hav i ng s u ch d es perat e
.
,

characte rs to d eal with i t was a se rv i ce o f dange r t o be

,

leader i n the descent to t h e c av ern whe n t he o p e ning

was cl ear e d ; b u t A ndy was t h e fi rs t t o ent er wh ich he ,
5 94 Ha n dy A n dy
w ho had r et u r ne d fro m t ranspo rt at ion a n d sough t h is ,

w i fe and he r dear b rothe r and his former l awless asso ,

c ia te s ,
reach ing I reland O n find ing B r idget had
on .

marri e d again his anger a t h er in fi de l ity was en dea v ou re d

,

t o be appeased by th e r e p r esentation s m ade t o h im that

i t w a good job i n asm uch as the l ord had been
as
“
,
”

s cr e wed o f a good S um f m on ey by w ay f sepa

out o o

rate m ain t en an c e and that h e woul d s h are t he ad v an t ag e

,

o f th at Wh en m atters were m ore ex plai ned howe v er

.
, ,

an d the con v ic t fou nd this m oney was d i v ided am on g so

m a n y who al l c laimed right f share i n t h e p lund er h i s

,
o ,

d i sco ntent ret urned I n the fi rs t p lace t h e petti fogger

.
,

m ade a la r ge ha ul for h is services S han More swo r e it .

was h ard if a woman s ow n b roth er was n o t to b e th e ’

bett e r for her l uc k an d La r ry H ogan cl aimed h ush

;
money for he coul d pro v e B ridget s marriage an d
,
’

, so

u pset the ir sche me f p lu nd e r T h e co n v ict mai ntai ned

o .

hi clai m as h usband was strong e r than any but thi s al l

s ; ,

t h e othe rs declared was an ou t land ish n otio n he brought

,

back w ith h im fro m foreign parts and d id not pre v ai l i n ,

t hei r code o f l aws by any man ner m e an s and e v en 0

’

wen t far as t o y t hey t hought it ha r d a fter they had

so sa ,

do n e t h e job th at he was to com e i n and l essen t heir

,
”

pro fi t wh ich h e wou ld as t hey were wi lling to gi v e an

, ,

e v e n share o f t he Spoi l an d after th at he must be th e ,

mos t d is conte nted v i llain i n the world i f he was n ot

p leased .

Th e con v i c t feigned con t entm e nt bu t m edita t ed a t ,

o nce revenge agai nst h is wi fe and t h e ga ng and separate ,

pro fi t for h imself H e though t h e m ight sti pu l ate for a

.

good roun d sum from Lo r d S ca t terbrain as he co u ld ,

pro v e hi m fre e f hi s su pposed m atrimo nial en gagem en t

o ,

an d i nward l y r e so l ved he wou ld soo n pay a v is it t o his

lords hi p B u t h i s i ntention s were s uspected by t h e
.

gang an d a s t ri c t watch kept u po n hi m a nd t hough h is

,

d iss im u lation and co ntrivance we r e o f n o i n ferior o rder ,

Larry H oga n was his overm atch and t h e con v ic t was ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 595
d ete c te d i h av i ng b ee so n ear Lord S ca tter b rai n s ’
n n

d well ing t ha t they feared t he ir secre t i f

,
a l ready ,
n ot

r e vealed was n o l onge r to be t ru s t ed t o t hei r n e w con

,

fe d era t e s kee pin g and i t w as deem ed ad vi sab l e t o

’
;
k noc k h i m th e head and shoo t my lo rd wh ich t he y
on , ,

t hough t wou l d preven t a ll chanc e f t he i nv alid ity of t he o

marriage being d i scov er e d a nd s e cu r e t he fut u r e pay ,

m en t f the mai n te nan c e

o .

H w pro m p tl y t h e mu rd e rous determ in a t io n was ac te d

o

u pon the pr e c e di ng e ve t s p ro ve A ndy s courag e i n

,
n .
’

t h e firs t par t f t h e a ff ai r saved h is life h is p r om pt ness

o ;
i n afterwards see king t o s e c u re t he o ff enders led to th e
i m po rt a n t d is covery h e had j us t m ade an d t he con ; as

v ic t s de po si t io n s cou l d b e satis fac t ori ly back e d by proo fs

’

w h ic h he show e d t he m e an s of ob t ain ing Andy was co n ,

grat u la t ed heart i ly by t h e S q ui r e and Father B lake an d ,

rod e ho m e i a l mos t d e li rious d e l ig h t a t t h e pros pec t f

n o

making O o n ah h i w i fe O n reac hi n g t h e Stab l es h e

s .
,

t hrew h imse l f from hi s add l e l e t t h e horse m ak e h is

s ,

o w way t o h i s s t a ll dash e d throug h t h e bac k hal l and

n , ,

n early b rok e h is n ec k in t u mb ling p S t airs b urs t O pe n u -

t h e d rawi n g roo m doo r and m ade a ru sh u po O on ah

-

, n ,

w ho m h e hugge d a n d ki ssed mos t ou t rag e o u sly am ids t ,

e xc l amations f th e w i l des t a ffec t io n

o .

Oo nah h al f s t rang l ed and st ru gg l i g f br e a t h a t

,
n or ,

l as t fre e d hers elf fro m h is embraces and as ked h im , ,

angri ly what h e was abo u t

,
i n wh ic h in q u i ry h was s e

bac ked by h i s m o t her .

A ndy a n sw e r e d by ca p e ri n g ro u nd t he room Sh ou t i ng , ,

H urroo ! I m married a t all — h urroo

’
n ot He '”

t u rned ov e r t h e ch airs u pse t t he t ab les th rew th e , ,

m an t elp iec e orn ame n t s i nto t he fi re se iz ed the poker ,

and t o ngs a n d banged t he m t oge t h er

,
h e con t i n ued as

d anc i ng a n d sh ou t i ng .

O o n ah an d h is mo t h er S t ood gazi ng a t h is anti cs i n

t remb l ing a maz e m e n t t i ll a t l ast t h e O ld w om an ex
,

c lai m e d H oly V g i
,
h e go n e mad
ar n w h e reu po n
’
s
5 96 Ha n dy A n dy
S h e and h e r n i e ce s e t u p a v iolent scr e a ming whi ch ,

called A ndy bac k to his prop r iety and as w el l as h is , ,

exc item en t wo u ld permit he to ld t hem t he cause of h is ,

extrav agan t j oy H is wo nder an d d eligh t w er e shared

.

by hi s m other and th e b l ush i n g O ona h wh o d i d n ot ,

Struggle so hard i n Andy s embrace o n h is m aking a ’

seco nd veh emen t demon stratio n o f hi s lov e for her .

“
Let me sen d for Fathe r Blake my j ewe l ”
said , ,
”
A ndy ,
and I ll marry you at once
’
.

H is mot her rem inded h i m h e m ust fi rs t hav e h is

pr e sen t m arriage prov e d i nv a l id A n dy uttered severa l .

pieces o f or ig ina l eloqu ence o n “ t h e law s delay ” ’

.

We ll anyhow sa id he “ I l l d r in k your h ealth my

,
”
, ,
’

d arli ng girl t h is day a s Lady S catterbrain — f o r y o u

, ,

m us t con sider you rself as s itc h .

Beha v e yo u rsel f my lo rd said O on ah a rc hly

, , , .

”
B oth er ! c ried A ndy sn atch ing anothe r kiss
cried D ick D a w
, .

H illo ! son en teri ng at th e ,

mo men t an d seei ng t h e rompi ng match

, You t e -
.
’

l os i ng n o t i m e I se e A ndy ,
”
, .

O onah was run n i ng from t h e room l aughing and ,

b l ush i ng whe n D ic k interposed an d cri e d A h d on t

, , , ,
’

”
go my lady that is t o be
, ,
’
.

O o nah slap ped d own the h and t h at barred h er pro

gress ex clai m i ng “ Yo u r e j us t a s bad as he is M is te r
, ,
’

D awson ! and ran away .

D ick had ridd en o ve r o n hearing t h e n ews t o con , ,

r a t u la t e A ndy a nd cons e nt e d to remai n an d d i n e with

fiim O on ah had rather after wha t h ad tak e n place he
,

.
, ,

had n ot bee n there f o r D i c k backed A n dy i n h i s tor

,

me n t in g th e gi rl a n d jo ined h ea rt i ly i n dri nk ing to

A ndy s toast wh ich acco rd i ng to p ro mis e h e gave t o
’

, , ,

t h e heal t h o f t h e fu t ur e Lady S cat te rb rai n .

I t was i m possib l e t o r e press A ndy s w ild d eligh t ; and ’

i n t h e e xcitement o f t h e ho u r b e tossed o ff bu mp er afte r

bum per to a ll so r ts o f l o v e m aki n g toasts til l he was -

qu it e o v e rcom e by h is potat ion s a n d fit f o r n o p lac e bu t ,

 C HAP T E R T H E LA ST

d ay fo ll ow ing th e ev e nt fu l o n e j u s t r e corded
T
HE ,

th e m i serab le con v ic t breat h ed h i s last A pri nted .

n o t i ce was posted i n a ll t h e adj ace nt v illages o ff e ri ng ,

a reward for the app reh e n s io n o f Sb a n M or e an d “ ot her

p e rsons u n known for their m u rde ro u s as sault ; and
,

a S mall reward w as promised for s uc h pri v ate i n forma

t ion as might lead t o the ap pre h ensi o n o f th e aforesa id ”
,

&c &c
.
,
Larry H ogan at once came forwa r d a n d put
.

th e authorities o n t h e scent b ut S til l S h an and h is,

accomplices remained u nd isco v ered Larry s i n fo rmat io n .

’

o n a not her subjec t howe v er was more e ff ecti v e H e

, , .

ga ve h is o wn testi m ony to the prev ious marriage o f

B r idget and pointed out t h e mea ns o f obtai n ing mor e
, ,

s o th at ere long Lord S catt erb r ai n was a

”
, ,
“ free man .

Though t h e deposit ion s of the mu rdered man d id n o t

di rectly i m plicate Larry i n the m u rderous attack still i t ,

showed that he had pa rt ic i pat ed i n m uch o f t he i r v i llany ;

b ut a s i n d i ffi cu lt cases we m ust pu t u p w ith bad
, ,

inst ruments to reac h th e e n d s o f j ustice so th is r ascal ,

was usefu l for h is e v iden ce and priv ate i nformation and ,

got his reward .

B ut he go t his r e wa rd i n more way s t h an o n e H e .

kne w that h e dare n o t l onger remain i n the cou n t ry after

wha t h ad tak en p lac e a nd s e t o ff d i rect l y fo r D ubli n by
,

the mail i n te nd i ng t o proc ee d to England ; b ut Engla nd

,

he nev e r reach ed A S he was proceed i ng down t h e

.

C usto m hous e qu ay i n t he dus k of th e e v e ni ng to ge t

-

o n sh i p boa rd his arms were su dden ly seized an d d r awn

-

beh in d hi m by a powerful g ras p wh i le a woman i n fr o nt ,

d r e w a han d kerchi e f across h is mou t h and s t i fled h is ,

 Ha n dy A n dy 5 99
a tte m p te d cri e s H i s bu nd l e wa s d ragg e d from him
.
,

and t h e woma n ran sacked his po ckets ; b u t t hey con

t a i n e d b u t a few s h i lli n gs Larry having h idden the
,

wages o f h i s t reac hery t o h i s con fede rates i n t he folds

o f his nec k c l o th
-
To pluc k th is fro m h is th ro at m any
.
,

a fierce w rench was m ad e by the woman whe n h e r ,

attem p t s o n t h e pockets pro v ed worth less ; bu t t he

handkerch ief was knot t ed s o t ightly t ha t s h e cou ld n ot
d isengage i t The app roach o f so me passengers a lon g
.

th e q u ay alarmed t he assai lants o f L arry w ho e r e t he , ,

i ro n g ri p re l eased hi m h e ard a deep c u rs e i n h is ea r

,

grow led by a v oic e he w ell k new an d t hen h e fe l t h im ,

self hur l ed w i t h giga nt ic force fro m t he quay wal l .

B efore t he base c hea t i ng faith l ess sco u nd re l cou ld mak e

, ,

o n e exc l ama t io n h e was p l unged in t o th e L i ff ey

,
e v en
be for e o n e m e n t a l as pi ra t i on fo r m ercy he was i n t h e ,

t h ro e s o f su ff oca t ion ! The heavy S p l ash i n th e wa te r

caugh t t h e a tt ent ion o f t hos e whose approac h h ad a l ar e d m
t he m u rder e rs an d s e eing a ma n an d wom a n ru n n ing
, ,

a pu rsu it com men ced wh ic h e nd e d by N e wga te h av ing

,

t wo fres h t enan t s t he nex t day .

An d so farew ell t o the e n t i re o f t h e abom in ab l e c rew ,

w hos e e v i l d oi ngs a n d merited fates h ave on l y b e en

reco rded w h e n it becam e n e cessa ry t o o u r s t ory It is .

bet t er t o leave t h e debased an d t h e p ro flig a t e i n O b l ivion

t ha n d r ag t hei r doi ngs befo re the day ; an d i t is w it h
happy con sc iou s ness an Ir ishm an m ay assert t hat there ,

i s p lenty o f subj ec t a ff orded by Iri sh character an d Irish

l ife honourab le t o th e l and pleas ing t o t he n arrato r and
, ,

s u ffi c ien t ly a tt rac t iv e t o t h e reader w it hou t t h e u nwh ole

,

So me exaggera t io n s o f c rime w hich t oo o ften d is fi g u re

the fic t ion s wh ic h pass u nd e r t h e t itle o f I rish a li ke
“ ”
,

o ff en s ive t o t ruth a s to t ast e — a l ik e inj urious bo t h for

pri va te a n d publ ic consi deration s .

I t wa s i n t he fo ll ow i ng au t um n t hat a par t icu lar

chario t d rove u p t o t h e doo r o f th e V ic t or ia H otel o n ,
6 00 J
n y
t h e sho r e o f K i ll arney l ak e A y ou ng man o f e l ega nt .

b earing han ded a v ery c harmi ng you ng lady from th e

chariot ; an d t ha t ki ndest an d mos t accom moda t i ng o f
hos t e sses M rs F ,
welcomed t h e fresh arri val wi th
.

h e r good hu mou r ed a nd sm i lin g face

-
.

Why ami dst t h e crowd o f arri v a l s a t t he V ic t oria

, ,

o n e c hariot shou ld be remarkable beyon d another arose ,

fro m its quiet e legan ce wh ic h m igh t S t ri ke e ven a casual

,

obser v er ; bu t the i n t e ll igen t M rs F s a w with ha l f .

an eye th e own ers mu st b e h igh br e d people To t he -

.

apar t me nts a l ready engaged for t he m t h ey were s hown ;

b u t few m i n u t es w e re l ost with i n doo rs whe re s uch
match l ess n a t u ra l beauty t em pted t hem w ithou t A .

boa t w as i m media t ely ordered and t hen t h e new l y ar ri ved ,

v is i t o r s were soo n o n th e l ak e The boatme n had .

a l ready worked h ard t ha t day h av in g p u ll ed o n e p ar ty ,

com ple t ely ro u nd th e lakes — n o trifl ing task ; bu t the

hardy fellow s agai n ben t to thei r o ars an d made t h e ,

S leeping waters wake i n gol de n fl ashes t o t he su n set ti ll ,

t o ld they n eed n o t pu ll so hard .

“ Faith th en we l l
’
l a z e you i
’
said the s t roke
,p , s r , ,

oarsm an w ith a grin “ fo r we hav e had q u ite enough

, ,

o f i t to day -
.

D o yo u n ot t hin k Fanny s aid Edward O Co n n o r , ,

’

for it was h e who spoke to h is bride D o you no t t h in k ,

t is more i n u n iso n with the tranq u i l hou r and th e

’

com i ng Shad ows t o gl ide so ftly o v e r th e l u lled waters ?

,
”

“ Ye
s Sh e replied
,
“
i t seems almos t sacri lege t o
,

d is t u rb this h e aven l y repose by t h e s lightes t cl i p o f the

o a r — s e e h ow pe r fect ly t ha t l o v e ly is l an d is reflected
”
.

In n is fa lli n my l ady said t h e boatm an

“ That i s ”
, , ,

hearing h er allude t o t he is l an d where t he h e rm i t age

“
,

A S he Spo k e a gl e a m o f ligh t Spark led o n t he

”
is .
,

i slan d whi ch wa s refl ected o n th e water

,
.

“
O n e migh t t hi n k t h e herm it was th ere t oo said ,

Fa nny an d h ad j us t l ight ed a lamp for hi s v igi l s

,
.

“
That s t h e l igh t o f t he gu id e t ha t shows th e p l ac e
’
 Ha n dy A n dy
ci rc l ing t h e wa te rs in t hei r sh adowy fram e t h e b eau t y ,

o f t h e scene reach e d a poin t of s ub lim ity w h i ch migh t b e

c alled holy A t h ey retu rn ed t owa r ds the She lv i ng
. S

Strand a lo ng row f pe e led b ran ches Stand ing u pright

,
o ,

i n th e wa t er at t rac t ed Fan ny s a tt en t ion a n d h asked

,
’

, s e

t h eir u se .

A l l t h e use i n l i fe my l ady said t h e boatman for , , ,

“

w ith out t he s am e b ranc hes m ayb e it n o t ho m e t o night ,

’
S -

”
you d get
’
.

O n Fa n ny i n qu iri n g fur t he r t he mean ing o f t h e boa t

m ’
a ii s an swe r h l e arn e d t ha t th e stic ks w e r e p laced
,
s e

t here to i ndica t e th e on ly ch an ne l whic h permitted a

boat t o ap proach t he s ho re t hat s ide f the lake on o ,

where th e wat e r was s hoal wh ile i n other parts th e ,

d e pt h h ad neve r b een fat hom ed .

A n e ar l y excu rsion th e wa te r was p l an ned f t h e

on or

mo rn ing and Edward an d Fa n ny were waken e d fro m

,

t hei r s l u mb e rs by t he tones of th e bugle a so ft I ri sh ;

m elody bein g br e a t h ed by Sp ill followed by a mo r e an ,

S portiv e one fro m t h e o t her m ins t rel f t he lak e o ,

G a nz
y .

The l ak e n ow a ppeared u n der a no t her asp e c t — t h e

mo rn i ng and mo rn i ng b reeze we re u po n i t and the
su n ,

s ub limi ty wit h wh ich the sh ad e s f even i ng had i n ve s t e d o

t h e mou nt ai ns was ch anged to t h at f the mos t v aried o

rich ness for A utu mn hu ng

; its gaudy ba nn er t he out on

lofty hi lls crowned ,

t hei r s u m mi t s with al l v a r i et y f
to o

wood wh ich t hough t inged by t he d ec l i n i ng year h ad

, , ,

s ca rc ely shed leafy honou r The day w gloriou s

on e . as ,

an d th e fa v ouring bre e z e en ab le d t he boat caree r to

ac ross t h e s park l i n g lake u nd er can vas t i ll t he o v e r ,

h angi ng hi lls f th e opposite Side robb e d t he m f thei r

o o

a e rial wi ngs an d t h e s ai l bei ng struck the boa t men bent

, ,

t o t hei r oa rs A t hey pas sed u nder a promo ntory

. S ,

c loth e d from th e wa t er s e dg e t o i t opmos t ridg e with ’

ts

t h e mos t l ux uri an t v egetatio n i t w poi nte d t he ,

as out to
lady as th e m i n is te r s back
“ ’
.
”
 Ha n dy A n dy 6 03

T is a S t ra n g e n am e sai d F a nn y ,
D o y ou k now .

why i t is ca l l e d ? so
”

Faix I d u n na my l ady
, ,
barri n t ha t it i s the bes t ’

cov e r e d bac k i n t h e cou n t ry B u t h e re w e com e t o th e .

i b
a c os,
”
said h e resti n g,
h i s oars T he e xam p le was
on .

follow e d by h i fellows and t h e b ug le r lift i ng h is i

s , ,
n s t ru

m ent to h is l i ps gav e ,
l ong w e ll su stai n ed blas t I t
one -
.

rang across t h e waters ga ll a nt l y I t re t ur n ed i n a fe w .

seco nd s w i t h su ch u n e ar t hly sw e etn e ss as tho ugh t he ,

S pi r i t f t h e d eparte d sou n d h ad b e com e h e ave ly a n d

o n ,

r e v i si te d t h e plac e w h e re i t had e x pi r e d .

Fa n ny an d Ed ward l is t en e d br e ath le ssly .

Th e bugl e gav e i t s n o t es again i n th e we ll k n ow n

out -

call an d
,
”
sw eetl y as b e fore t h e n o te s w e r e r et u r ne d
as

d istinc t ly .

An d no w a soft an d s l o w a n d si m ple m el ody s t o l e

fro m t h e e x q u isi tely p l ay ed bug l e an d ph ras e aft e r phras e ,

was e choed from t h e r e s pond i ng h i lls H w many an . o

e mo t io n s t i rred w ith i n Edward s bre ast t h e m el t ing ’

,
as

m u si c fel l u po n h i e ar ! I n t h e m ids t f ma t ch less

s o

b eau t ies he h e ard t h e m a t ch le ss S t rain s f h i n at iv e l an d o s ,

and t h e ec ho e s f her ld h ills res po n d ing t o t h e

o o

t ri um ph s f h e r ld bards Th e ai r
o o bore w it h i t
.
, t oo ,
h istori c associa t ion s — i t ol d a t a l e f w rong an d f
; t o o

S u ff e rin g Th e w rong h ceased t he s u ff eri ng i past

. as , s ,

b ut t h e ai r whi c h reco rd s t hem sti ll l i v e s .

O h t riu m ph f t h e m instr el o e xc lai m ed Ed ward

i n de l igh t . Th e t yra nt cru mb l es i n h is c o ffin w h i l e
“
,

t h e so ng f t h e bard s urv iv e s ! The memo ry f a

o o

s c e p t red ffi ru i e nd l essly b ra n d e d by a s im ple s trai n

an s ,

wh il e many f t h e e l abora te c h ro n i cles f h i ev il l i fe

o o s

hav e pass e d away and are mo uld ering l ike h i mse l f .

S carce ly had t h e e cho e s f t h is e xqu is i t e a ir d i ed o

away w h e n t h e ent ra n cemen t i t carri e d was rude l y

,

broke n by f t h e vu lgares t t u n e s b ei ng b ray ed fr o m

on e o

a bugl e i n a boa t w h ic h w s een rou nd i n g t he head l a n das

o f t h e wood e d promo nt o ry .
6 04 Ha n dy A n dy
Edward a n d Fa n ny writh e d and p u t t h e ir ha n d s , to
t hei r ea r s .G iv e way boys ! said Edward , f
”
;
“
or

pity s sake g et away from t h es e b arbari ans

’
G iv e .

way
A way Sprang t h e boa t T t h e b oa t ma n s inqu i ry . o
’

wh e th e r th ey shou ld Sto p a t Lady Ke n mare s C ottage ’

Fanny sa id wh e n S he foun d
“ no ”
,
i nqu iry i t was a on

part i cu lar l y Sho w place b e i ng certa in th e v ulgar party

-

,
”

fol l owing w ld Stop there a n d t herefore t i m e m ight b e

ou ,

gained in gett ing away fro m s uc h d isagreeable followers .

D inas Is la n d fr inged w i t h its l o v ely wood s excited

, ,

t h eir ad m iration as they pass ed u n dernea t h its shadows

, ,

and t urned in t o Tu r k Lake h ere t he l abyrin thi n e n atur e ;

o f t h e c h an n els t h rough wh ic h t h ey had b e en wi n di ng
wa s changed fo r a circu la r ex pan se f w at e r o v er w h ic h o ,

t he l ofty mou n t ain w hen ce i t t akes i t s n ame t owers i n

, ,

a l l its w i ld beau t y f wood an d rock and heath

o , ,
.

At a certa i n par t f th e l ake t h e boatm en w i thou t

o , ,

any visib le cau se rested thei r oars O n Edward

,
on .

as king the m why t hey di d pu ll he recei v e d th is no t ,

t ouch i ng answe r
S u re you r honou r wou l d n o t h av e us d is t urb N e d
,

M hy
a c a rt gra v e !
’
s
“ Th en a boatma n w d rown ed h I su ppo s e ?
as e re ,
”

said Edward .

Yes yo u r honou r
, Th e boa t man t hen t o l d how
.

t h e acc iden t occu rred one day whe n t here was a Stag
h u nt on the lake but t he anecd ote s t ruck E dwa rd
; as

so fo r cibly t ha t h e afte rwa rds reco rd e d i t i n v e rs e w e ,

w ill giv e t h e s t ory a fter h i s fash ion .

M A C A RT H Y S G R E ’
AV

T he br r sh
e e z e wa s f e r w a s f a ir
, t h e mo n

T he t s a g l t d w la ir
h a d e f his e y ;
,

h ri g h r
T o c ee n b a i g t gu
o n and
y n on e,

h s sw l ru g
K ill a rn e y s e c o e
‘
e et
y n .
6 06 Ha n dy A n dy
t hey approach ed t h e rapid s form ed by t h e desc en d ing
w aters f the pper l ake t o th e lower and t hey we r e
o u ,

hai led an d wa rn ed by so me of the peasant s fr o m t he

shore t ha t th e y m ust n ot attem p t th e rap ids at p r esent ,

as a boa t wh ic h had j us t bee n upset lay a t hwar t t he

, ,

passage O n h e ari ng this Edwa rd an d Fan ny l anded

.
,

u pon th e fal ls and walked toward s th e ld bridge

, o ,

w h ere all was b ustle an d co n fus ion as t h e d r ippi ng pas ,

se n
g e rs were dragged safely t o sh ore fr o m t he capsized
boat wh ic h had been u pse t by th e prin ci pal ge ntleman
,

of t h e pa r ty w hose vu l ga r t ru mpet i ngs had so d istu rbed

,

th e delight f Edward and Fan ny w ho soon recogni sed

o ,

the r eno wn ed A ndy as th e i ns t igator of th e bad m us i c

an d t h e caus e f th e acci den t Yes Lord S ca tt e r brai n
o .
, ,

true t o hi s origi nal p ractice w author f all ,

as o .

Nevert he l ess he and h i s party soused o ve r head a nd

, ,

cars as t h ey w e re took the th i ng in good hu mou r w h ic h

, ,

was u nbroken e v e n by t he i r repr e ssibl e laugh t er w h ich

escaped fro m Edward an d Fan ny as t hey approach ed ,

and ki ndly o ff e r ed a ss istan ce A n immed iate remov al .

to the neighbou ri n g cottage D in as I slan d wa m on s re c o

m end ed part icu la r ly as Lady S catterb rai n was i n a d eli

,

ca t e situ atio n as well i n deed as M rs D fy w ho with

, , ,
. ur , ,

h er d ear T m had j o i n ed Lord S catterbra in s party o f

o ,
’

pleasure .

O n reaching t h e co t tage fli i c hange f c l oth e s ,

su c ent o

w as obtai ned t o pre v ent e v i l co nsequ en ces fro m th e

d uck i ng Th is u nder ord in ary c i rcu ms t ances m ight
.
, ,

n o t h ave b e en easy for so m any but fo rt u n ately Lord ; , ,

S cat t e rbrai n had ord er e d a com p l ete d in ne r from t he

hotel to be s erved i n t he cot t age an d so me f t he ass is t ,
o

a nts from t he V i cto ria wh w e re necessa r ily presen t ,

o ,

h elped to dress more than the d in n e r What between .

cookm aids an d waiters the care t ak e r f t he co t tage an d ,

-
o

t h e boatmen bo dies an d skirt s j ack et s and other co n

, , ,

i
v e n e n c e s,e nabled the party i dow n t o d i nner i n to s t

com pany u nt i l fi re cou ld m en d t h e m is t ake f hi s l ord

,
o
 Ha n dy A n dy 607

sh ip Edward a n d Fan n y c ou r t eou s l y j o in ed t h e par t y

. ;
and t h e hon ou r f t hei r com pany w as s e ns ibly fe l t by
o

A n dy a n d O on ah wh wou l d have born e a d ucki ng a,

o

day for t h e hono u r of h avi ng Fanny an d Ed wa rd as t hei r

gues t s O o n ah was by n a t u r e a n ice c rea t ure and
.
,

adapted h ers el f t o h e r elev ated pos iti on w ith a m odest

ease t ha t was su rpris ing E v e n A ndy was by t h is ti m e .

ab le t o co n du c t h imself tole rably wel l a t t able on l y on

t hat pa rt ic u l ar day he d id m ake a m is t ake for w h en ;

salmon (wh ic h is s e rv ed a t K illarn ey i al l s ort s f n o

v ariety ) m ade i t s appearanc e f th e fi rs t t i me i n t h e nov el or

fo rm p p ill en A ndy a t e paper an d al l H e refu sed

a ot e , .

a seco nd c utle t h owever s ay i ng he ,

b gb b bi
,
t ou t t e s n

t ou gb Th e party h ow e v er pas sed ff m i rth fu l ly t h e

.
”
, , o ,

v e ry acciden t helpi ng t h e fu n for i ns te ad f any on e ; ,

o

being cal l ed by n ame t he l ady i n t h e j acke t ,

“
the ,
”
or

gen t leman i n t h e bedgown w e re t he t erm s f add r e ss ,

”
o ;
and afte r a merrily Spen t ev en ing t h e b e ds f th e V i c
, , o

t o ria gav e s l eep a n d pleasi ng d re am s t o t he sojou rners f o

K i llarn ey .

K i nd read e r ! t h e shor t en ing s pac e w e h ave pr e sc rib e d

t o v o l um e warn s u s we m u s t d raw ou r st ory t o a n
our

e nd N i ne mo nt h s a ft er t h is K illarn ey excu rsion Lo rd

.
,

S catt erbrai n m et D ic k D awso n ne ar M oun t Eska r whe re ,

Lord S ca tt erb rai n had rid d en m ake cer t ai n i n qu i ries to

abou t M O C rs . heal t h ’
D ic k wo r e a s mil i ng
o n no r s
’
.

cou n t en ance a n d A n dy s i nq u iry a n swered

,
to A ll ’

righ t an d d o in g
,
w e ll as ca n b e ex pec t ed
as .
”

Lord S ca tt erbrain w ish ing k n ow wh et he r i t was a

,
to
b y
o a gir l mad e t he i n q u i ry i n th e t ru e s pirit f A n dy
or , o

i m
s Tel l m e M i h D awson , y st l er ,
a re ou an unc e or

a n a unt ?
A ndy s mo t h e r di e d soo n after f t h e co l d cau gh t by
’
o

h er d u c ki n g O n her d e ath bed h called O o n ah t o

.
-
s e

h er and said
,
I l eave yo u th is qu ilt l
,
“ — is ,
a a n na
’
t
wo rth mor e th a n i t a p pears T he h u nd r e d pou n d n o te s .
-

A n dy gav e me I q u i l t e d i nt o t h e l in i n g t h a t i f I l iv e d , so
6 08 Ha n dy A n dy
poor al l my l ife ti l l l a t e l y I d ied u nder a q u i lt f ba nk
, o

n otes any how,

.
”

U nc l e B ob was ga t h ered t o h is fa t h ers a l so and l e ft ,

t h e bul k f h is p ro pe rty to Augus t a t hat Fu rlon g had

o ,
so

to regre t h i s con t em ptible cond uct i n rej ecti ng he r hand .

A ug usta i nd ulged i n a S pi te t o all m ank ind for th e future ,

enjoy in g h e r dogs a nd h e r i n depend en ce an d d efy i n g ,

Hy m e n an d hyd ro phob ia f t he r e st f h e r l i fe
or o .

Gusty wen t profi t i n g by t he early car e f Ed ward

on o

O C
’
whose frien dship was e v e r h i s d eares t posses
o n n o r,

s io n and Ra tt y a l way s w i l d e x pr e ssed a d e s ire for

; , ,

leading a l i fe f en t erprise
o A s t hey a re bo t h Irish
.
“

heirs a s we ll as Lord S ca t terbrai n an d h eirs u nder

,
”
,

v e y d i ff eren t c i rc u ms t a n ces i t is
r ,
im probable t ha t
n ot

in futur e accou n t s s ome t h ing may ye t be heard

ou r

o f t h e m an d t h e gra te fu l au t hor o n c e mor e m eet h i

, s

k i n d re ad e rs .

THE E ND
 U N IV E R SI TY OF CA LI FO RN IA LI BRAR Y

Th i s b o k i
o s DU E on th e l as t d a te S ta mp e d b e l o w .

NOV 1 3 195 8

F or m L 9 — 15 m (B 103 9 444