CabaretText PDF
CabaretText PDF
CabaretText PDF
1. Preset
The club is seedy and badly lit. There is a small band in the corner, tuning
up, playing snippets of music, joking and jamming amongst themselves. We
are welcomed by the Cabaret troupe and their EMCEE, shown to a table,
fetched a drink. The atmosphere is informal and exciting. When the place is
full, our servers retire to the stage. There is a drumroll.
2. Wilkommen
EMCEE:
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, etranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.
Und sagen
ALL:
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret
EMCEE:
[Spoken – sample text for improvisation]
Leave your troubles outside!
Though life is disappointing, forget it!
We have no troubles here! Here life is beautiful...
The girls are beautiful...
Even the orchestra is beautiful!
[Instrumental]
[Spoken – sample text for improvisation – these references and in-jokes should
all be changed to match the group performing this particular show]
And now presenting the Cabaret Girls!
Rosie! (Rosie is so called because of the color of her
cheeks.) Lulu! (Oh, you like Lulu? Well, too bad!
So does Rosie.) Frenchie! (You know I like to order Frenchie
on the side. On your side Frenchie! Just kidding!)
Texas! (Yes, Texas is from America!But she's a very
cunning linguist!) Fritzie!
(Oh, Fritzie, please, will you stop that!
Already this week we have lost two waiters,
a table and three bottles of champagne up there.)
and Helga! (Helga is the baby. I'm just like a father
to her. So when she's bad, I spank her. And she's
very, very, very, very, very bad.)
ALL:
[Whispered, slowly louder]
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, etranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,
Happy to see you,
Bliebe, reste, stay!
Wir sagen
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome,
Fremde, etranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,
Happy to see you,
Bliebe, reste, stay!
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret!
3. I am a Camera
4. Frauline Schroeder
CHRISTOPHER: There are two lodgers, other than me, in this flat. Next
Door to me, in the big front room, is Frl. Kost. In the room opposite, overlooking
the corridor, is Frl. Mayr. And behind Mayr's room, over the bathroom, at the
top of a ladder, is a tiny attic which Frl. Schroeder, the ladndlady, refers to, for
some occult reason, as
FRL: SCHROEDER: Profession? Ha, ha, that's good! That's just the word
for it! Oh yes, she's got a fine profession. Like this - (with the air of doing
something extremely comic, she imitates a prostitute.) Ja, ja, Herr Issyvoo!
That's how they do it!
CHRISTOPHER: I don't quite understand, Frl. Schroeder. Do you mean
that she's a tightrope walker?
FRL: SCHROEDER: He, he, hee! very good indeed, Herr Issyvoo! Yes,
that's right! That's it! She walks along the line for her living. That just describes
her!
CHRISTOPHER: One evening, soon after this, I met Frl. Kost on the stairs
with a Japanese. Frl. Schroeder explained to me later that he is one of her best
customers. She asked her how they spend the time together when not actually
in bed, for the Japanese can speak hardly any German.
FRL. KOST: Oh, well, we play the gramophone together, you know, and
we eat chocolates, and we laugh quite alot. He's really very fond of laughing.
FRL. MAYR: And the manager said to me, fritzi, heaven must have sent
you here! My leading lady's fallen ill. You're to leave for copenhagen tonight.
And,what's more, he wouldn't take no for an answer. 'Fritzi', he said (he always
called me that) 'Fritzi, you aren't going to let and old freind down?' And so I
went.
A Charming man. And so well-bred.
Familiar... but he always knew how to behave himself.
FRL. MAYR: Yes, some of them... you wouldn't believe! But I could
always take care of myself. Even when I was quite a slip of a girl. I'm a
Bavarian, and a Bavarian never forgets an injury.
Suddenly, they drop to the floor, giggling. Backstage, there is the sound
of a commotion.
CHRISTOPHER: Who?
FRL. MAYR: Are you aware that she has (a) bugs in her flat (b) been
arrested for fraud and released on the ground that she was insane, (c) leased
out her own bedroom for immoral purposes, and (d) slept in the beds
afterwards without changing the sheets.
CHRISTOPHER: [Over the top] Frl. Schroeder can go on like this, without
repeating herself, by the hour. When I have been listening to her for some time,
I find myself relapsing into a curious trance like state of depression. I begin to
feel profoundly unhappy. Where are all these lodgers now? Where, in another
ten years, shall I be, myself? Certainly not here. How many seas and frontiers
shall I have to cross to reach that distant day; how far shall I have to travel, on
foot, on horseback, by car, push-bike, aeroplane, steamer, train, lift, moving-
staircase, and tram? How much money shall I need for that enormous journey?
How much food must I gradually, wearily consume on my way? How many pairs
of shoes shall I wear out? How many thousands of cigarettes shall I smoke?
How many cups of tea shall I drink and how many glasses of beer? What an
awful, tasteless concept! And yet - to have to die... a sudden, vague pang of
apprehension grips my bowels and I have to excuse myself in order to go the
lavatory.
5. Fritz Wendel
FRITZ: Chris!
FRITZ: Fine.
FRITZ: Either or, I go as a gigolo. I'm speaking a lousy English just now.
Sally says maybe she'll give me a few lessons.
FRITZ: Oh, I forgot you don't know Sally. Too bad of me. She's an English
girl, an actress: Sings at the Kit Kat Klub.
CHRISTOPHER: That doesn't sound much like an English girl, I must say.
FRITZ: Eventually, she's got some French in her. Her mother was French.
Hot stuff, believe me.
FRITZ: Mar-vellous. Eventually I believe I'm getting crazy about her. You
will come with me perhaps? To see her tonight?
6. Mien Herr
EMCEE:
Mein Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,
Ladies and Gentlemen!
And now, the Kit Kat Klub is proud to present a very beautiful young lady. She is
so beautiful, so talented so... charming, that I have only yesterday said: I want
you for my wife. And she said: 'Your wife? What would she want with me?!'
SALLY:
You have to understand the way I am, Mein Herr.
A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb, Mein Herr.
You'll never turn the vinegar to jam, Mein Herr.
So I do...
What I do...
When I'm through...
Then I'm through...
And I'm through...
Toodle-oo!
ALL:
Don't dab your eye, mein Herr,
Or wonder why, Mein Herr.
I've always told you I was a rover.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me,
Mein, Herr.
CHORUS:
Bye-bye, mein Lieber Herr,
Auf wiedersehen, mein Herr.
Es war sehr gut, mein Herr
Und vorbei.
Du kennst mich wohl, mein Herr,
Ach, lebe wohl, mein Herr.
Du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen,
SALLY:
And bye-bye
ALL:
Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr;
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I-
Used to care,
I need the-
Open air.
SALLY:
You're better off
Without me,
You'll get on
Without me
Mein Herr
CHORUS:
Auf wiedersehen...
Es war sehr gut...
Du kennst nicht Wohl...
Ach, lebe wohl!
7. Sally Bowles
FRITZ: Sally, I would like for you to meet my friend; may I introduce Mr
Isherwood - Miss Bowles? Mr Isherwood is commonly known as Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm not. Fritz is about the only person who's ever called
me Chris in my life!
CHRISTOPHER: Oh no, don't worry. Your cover's not blown. Fritz told
me.
SALLY: Fritz, you rascal! Have you been telling tales on me?
SALLY: So, I suppose you're wondering what an good little English girl is
doing working in a place like the Kit Kat Klub?
CHRISTOPHER: Everything?
SALLY: I'm going to be a great filmstar! That is, if booze and sex don't
get me first.
Pause
SALLY: Oh, for god's sake. Don't start being English! Of course it's your
business what you think.
CHRISTOPHER laughs
SALLY: Oh no, of course not, what rot! Fritz is an idiot. He's always
inventing things.
FRL. SHROEDER: Nien, nien Herr Wendel. Sie konnen nicht hinein
gehen. Herr Issyvoo erwartet heute eine Dame.
CHRISTOPHER: Fritz.
FRITZ: Frl. Schroeder says I cannot come in. She says you expect a lady.
CHRISTOPHER: Yes, I do, but that's alright. Come in Fritz. Do you want
some coffee? One of my pupils is coming.
FRITZ: Eventually she is coming round here this afternoon. I want that
you should know each other.
CHRISTOPHER: Mm-hmm.
FRITZ: Good. I think I shall make a pass after her, if you don't mind?
FRITZ: (Shrug) Perhaps her father will take a liking for me, and give me a
job. If I marry her, a partnership perhaps. I'm not prejudiced.
SALLY: Darlings!
SALLY: Oh, not for me. I'm allergic to coffee. I break out in the most
sinister spots if I drink it before dinner.
She leaves
CHRISTOPHER: Er, I'm not entirely certain. I know Frl. Schroeder is very
anxious to let it.
SALLY: What is she like? I mean, is she going to make trouble if I bring
men home occasionally? I mean, it would only be very occasionally, because I
do think one ought to go to the man's room, if one can. I mean, it doesn't look
so much as if one was expecting it, does it?
NATALIA: It is nice to see you again. Ah, it is good. You have others! So,
we shall make party for speaking English, yes?
NATALIA: Good, this is splendid for the practising. You will introduce me
please?
They sit.
Long pause
CHRISTOPHER: Yes
NATALIA: This was a cold of the bosom. Not of the nose. All of the
Phlegm was here.
SALLY: Do you mind not going on about it? I think I am going to be sick.
Pause
SALLY: Oh, Fritz leibling, did I tell you? I saw a film about syphilis the
other week that was too awful. I couldn't let a man touch me for almost a week.
Is it true you can get it from kissing?
FRITZ: Oh yes. And your king, Henry the Eighth, caught it from letting
cardinal Woolsey whisper in his ear.
NATALIA: That is not, I think, founded in fact. But from Kissing, most
decidedly. And from towels. And from cups.
NATALIA: Fornication?
SALLY: Oh yes...
CHRISTOPHER: Oh no.
SALLY: Bomsun!
9. So What?
FRL. SCHROEDER:
You say fifty marks. I say one hundred marks, a
difference of fifty marks-
Why should that stand in our way?
As long as the room's to let,
the fifty that I will get
is fifty more that I had yesterday,
Ja?
Chris is laughing.
SALLY: You're always laughing at me. Do you think I'm the most ghastly
idiot?
CHRISTOPHER: No, Sally. I don't think you're an idiot at all. It's quite
true. I was laughing. People often make me want to laugh at them. I don't know
why.
CHRISTOPHER: Yes, of course I like you, Sally. What did you think?
SALLY: (Laughs) It's the most idiotic little thing. But somehow I'd hate if
you found out without my telling you... You know, the other day, Fritz told you
my mother was french?
SALLY: And I said he must have invented it? Well, he hadn't... You see, I
told him that she was.
SALLY: I'm a bit mad like that sometimes, Chris. You must be patient with
me.
SALLY: You lied about the hot water. I'm freezing! Freezing to death.
Hug me!
...Tighter.
Oh, Chris, don't be so literal...
She gets up, motions to the band to play, and writhes around to the
music.
SALLY: Oh, do you really think so, darling? I suppose it does have a
certain kind of... style. I mean, look, it's very flat here... Not much hips... And
uh... here.
CHRISTOPHER: It's a little early in the day for this sort of thing isn't it?
Pause
SALLY: I do.
They shake hands, and she kisses him on the cheek and giggles. She
motions to the band to start up again, and flounces out to the music.
11. Klaus
CHRISTOPHER: One day, I had been up and dressed for some time
when Sally returned home. She came straight into my room, looking tired but
pleased with herself.
Pause
SALLY: Nonsense!
SALLY: Oh, Christopher darling, how can you be such a liar! Why, it was
obvious that you'd planned the whole thing! The way you got rid of Fritz last
night - he looked so cross! Klaus and I nearly died of laughing.
Have you got a cigarette Chris?
Pause
Pause
KLAUS: I am so sorry, mien libeling. (SAD SAD SAD VIOLIN) I see now
that I behaved very selfishly. I thought only of my own pleasure. But now I
realise that I must have had a bad influence on you. (It's not you, it's me)
I was invited a few nights ago to a party at the house of Lady Klein, a
leader of the English aristocracy. I met there a beautiful and intelligent young
English girl named Miss Gore-Eckersley. She is related to an English lord whose
name I couldn't quite hear - you will probably know which one I mean. We have
met twice since then and had such wonderful conversations about many
things. I do not think I have ever met a girl who could understand my mind so
well as she does -
SALLY: That's a new one on me. I never suspected the boy of having a
mind at all!
FRITZ: It's not even genuine. The place is run for tourists.
Pause
The Americans think about this for a moment, and then charge inside
with some kind of wild college battle-cry.
It was late when I got back home. Sally was sitting up in the dark.
How'd it go?
No reply
Bad?
No reply
SALLY: I waited at the hotel til ten. When I got back, there was this: Dear
Sally. Sorry. Schedule Revised At Last Minute. Writing. Love.
SALLY: Ten words. Exactly. After ten it's extra. You see, daddy thinks of
these things.
Pause
Poor man. He tries to love me. Perhaps even thinks he does. but the real
truth... is that he just doesn't... care.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm not worth caring about. Maybe I am just...
just... nothing.
SALLY: Don't...
He starts kissing her face. And accidentally kisses her mouth. They stop
for a moment and look at each other. Then go back in.
SALLY:
Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won't hurry away
They laugh.
14. Interval
SALLY: Gutentag.
SALLY: What?
SALLY: Alright.
17. Money
SALLY: Money
EMCEE: Money
CHRISTOPHER sits, waiting for MAX and SALLY in a restaurant. He waves away
a waiter.
MAX laughs
SALLY: Oh,Chris, why didn't you come? We had the best time! It was so
much fun. Max really knows how to corrupt a girl.
MAX: I try
SALLY: Not only did I get this glorious pelt, I got perfume, silk stockings...
SALLY: Gosh, who are you calling funny! I think it's divine, I love it.
Oh god, we didn't get anything for Chris!
MAX: For lunch, for dinner, breakfast again, anything you want.
MAX: Why not. We'll make a night of it. Or why not a weekend? I have a
little place out in the country.
CHRISTOPHER: I dare say it'll be good to get out of Berlin. Did you see
the scene outside? It was horrifying.
MAX: The Nazis are just a gang of stupid hooligans, but they do serve a
purpose. Let them get rid of the communists, later, we'll be able to control
them.
They are standing by now, cracking open beers and sitting down on the
front of the stage. SALLY and her fur coat are in a world of their own.
MAX laughs
MAX: You are very English sometimes, Christopher. Do you realise that, I
wonder?
EMCEE: Berlin makes strange bedfellows these days. Some people have
two. Some even...
I do the cooking...
Und I make the bed.
I go out working
To earn our daily bread.
But we've one thing in common,
He...
She...
And me,
The key,
Beedle dee, dee,
The key,
Beedle dee, dee, the key,
Beedle dee, deedle dee, deedle dee, dee!
(Double time!)
Ja!
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...
I like it,
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...
They like it!
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...
This two for one.
MAX: ...all the way through Tanzania and Uganda. More Sally? (Drink)
And every now and then, the train stops in the middle of nowhere. And right
there is a family of giraffes nibbling the trees. Or a herd of zebra, galloping off
in a cloud of dust. And when the flamingoes come out, thousands and
thousands of them, turning the whole sky pink... You'll be amazed when you
see it.
MAX: To Africa?
CHRISTOPHER: To Africa.
They Kiss.
All: (Gradually)
The sun on the meadow is summery warm
The stag in the forest runs free
But gather together to greet the storm
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs
Tomorrow belongs
Tomorrow belongs to me!
CHRISTOPHER: (To Max) You still think you can control them?
SALLY: (Packing the props scattered around the stage into the suitcase.)
I told Frl. Schroeder we would be gone for at least two months, maybe more.
She cried and cried and said she’d miss us. I think the only reason she was
crying was because she knows she can’t get 50 marks a month from anybody
else for these pitiful little rooms. You know (starts to sing) Money makes the
world go round the world go… where have you been? I’ve been packing for
hours. Have some champagne darling, compliments of Max. Oh the laundry
came back. It’s over there on the bed. You know Chris, it occurred to me.. I
know I handled Max brilliantly and all, what with the African move, I mean it
would be funny wouldn’t it if he asked me to become baroness von huygens of
raginsburg. (Been looking for that for months.) I mean stranger things have
happened.
Pause
SALLY: Hm. Well darling we all know about your vast experience with les
femmes, fatale or otherwise.
Look why don’t you just come out with it; you can’t stand Maximillian
because he’s everything that you're not. He doesn’t have to give English
lessons for three marks an hour, he's rich. And he knows about life, he doesn’t
read about it in books. He’s suave, and he is divinely sexy. And he really
appreciates a woman.
SALLY: I do
Pause
CHRISTOPHER: So do I
Pause
CHRISTOPHER: Your paper, and your party, are pure crap, sir.
SALLY: Here (Gives him a drink.) I hear you took on the entire Nazi party
single handed!
Only two?
Here. Dear Sally and Christopher (in that order, please note) I know you
will forgive me, but family affairs make it imperative for me to leave for
Argentina immediately. It was fun wasn’t it? Signed Maximilian. Argentina my
arse. Oh, he also sent this. 300 marks, for the two of us. That's 150 each. Let's
see, on an hour to hour basis that puts us about on a par with Frauline Kost!
Some goldiggers aren’t we?
I wasn't sick.
Well, I suppose that was obvious, wasn't it?
Laughs
Pause
SALLY: Well obviously I can't have it! The doctor I went to says He'll do it.
But it's expensive. He has to bribe somebody or other for some kind of
certificate or something... oh, I don't know. Well. There goes my fur coat.
A long pause.
CHRISTOPHER: What?
They laugh
SALLY: It probably is yours. But I don't suppose we'll ever know for sure.
CHRISTOPHER: (shrug) So what?
CHRISTOPHER: Honestly.
They laugh
To you.
CHRISTOPHER: Me?
SALLY: You.
CHRISTOPHER: To Me.
CHRISTOPHER: Today, I met Natalia for coffee, to tell her that I would
soon be leaving Berlin and that she would have to find herself a new teacher.
We talked, as usual, of art, music, books - carefully avoiding the personal note.
We had been walking around the teirgatren for the best part of an hour, when
natalia abruptly asked:
NATALIA: Imbecile!
Today the sun is brilliantly shining; it is quite mild and warm. I walk back
to the apartment, without an overcoat or hat. The sun shines, and Hitler is
master of this city.
I catch sight of my face in the mirror of a shop, and am horrified to see
that I am smiling. You can't help smiling, in such beautiful weather. The trams
are going up and down the Kleiststrasse, just as usual. They, and the people on
the pavement,and the tea-cosy dome of the Nollendorfplatz station have an air
of curious familiarity, of striking resemblance to something one remembers as
normal and pleasant in the past - like a very good photograph.
No. Even now I can't altogether believe that any of this has really
happened.
Sally returns in the morning without the fur coat she has been wearing
since Max bought it for her.
Pause
Darling would you mind awfully seeing if there's a bit of brandy left, put
an egg in it and call it breakfast. I suppose you're wondering what on earth
happened to me. I’m afraid we made a night of it.
Pause
CHRISTOPHER: Is that all you can say? One of my whims. What, what
right-
SALLY: (Interrupting) If you want to hit me, why don’t you just hit me.
CHRISTOPHER: Me... and the baby… I suppose Max Reindhart did show
up at the club… or was it a friend of a friend of a friend of an assistant director
who said he’s try to squeeze you into the chorus line. That is of course if you, if
you went to bed with him.
CHRISTOPHER: Yes.
SALLY: Well then its just as well, isn’t it? For you, for everyone. Now,
darling, would you be an angel and just let me get some sleep.
SALLY: What is there to say? You’ve said it all in one way or another.
SALLY: Okay: I’m self centred, inconsiderate, and what was the third
adjective, oh yes and I have this infantile fantasy that one day I’ll amount to
something as an actress. Oh, Chris, a dinky little cottage in Cambridge? Play
pen in the bedroom, nappies on the towel rack. How soon would it be before we
started hating each other? How soon would it be before I started dashing out
and disgracing myself in the nearest pub. How soon would it be before you…
CHRISTOPHER: Before I... Say it… Go on. You might as well now.
CHRISTOPHER: I see.
SALLY: Nods
SALLY: (Laughs) No.. (through sobs) I think I’ll sleep a little while.
SALLY: Magazines?
CHRISTOPHER: No.
SALLY: Yeah.
Pause
Darling, I'd love to come down onto the platform with you and wave a
tiny white handkerchief etcetera, but there is that interview... It may not
amount to anything but...
SALLY puts her hand out mock-formally, CHRISTOPHER shakes it, then
stops, looking at her fingernails. They are both remembering everything.
CHRISTOPHER: Shocking.
SALLY laughs
29. Cabaret
SALLY:
What good is sitting alone in your room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.
No use permitting
some prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret!
Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
Isn't that long a stay.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Only a Cabaret, old chum,
And I love a Cabaret!
EMCEE:
Mein Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Where are your troubles now?
Forgotten!
I told you so.
We have no troubles here! Here life is beautiful...
The girls are beautiful...
Even the orchestra is beautiful!
Auf Weidersehn...
Abianto...
Drumroll.