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Jacob Huddleson

Mrs. Bell

English 1201

29 October 2019

The Consequences of Divorce (Rough Draft)

One of the biggest changes to the way families operate in the 21st century is the frequency

of divorce. I can speak from experience, as my parent’s splitting was one of the most memorable

and impactful changes in my childhood. I was left with my head spinning, and I was concerned

that it may have even been my fault. The upheaval of the family structure truly rocks the world

of the family. Further, the children entangled in this web of domestic conflict may pay a greater

cost than the adults. While the adults tend to squabble over possessions, money, and housing, the

children often are put to the wayside and end up with feelings of guilt, confusion, and immense

stress. A resilient child may be able to muscle through the roughest conditions, meanwhile a

more sensitive child could become truly stressed, leading to an array of problems. However,

what is often overlooked in this situation are the long-term effects of this domestic disarray.

Without proper education of these effects, the children will suffer at the hands of their parents.

Parents need to undergo parenting education after a divorce to help their children overcome

mental health, physical well-being, and relationship issues the children may form during their

development.

To lead off this bold claim, it is important to understand how divorce grew into the issue

that it is today. Brian D’Onofrio and Robert Emery of World Psychiatry discuss in their article

“Parental divorce or separation and children’s mental health” the staggering amount of split
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families. The United States’ recently experienced a monumental surge of childbirths out of

wedlock, which was preceded by the rate of divorce growing rapidly in the 1960s (D’Onofrio).

This increase is the source of the divorce outbreak in the United States, which is unlike any other

domestic lifestyle shift ever seen in the history of the United States. D’Onofrio and Emery

continue to discuss these truly astonishing numbers by stating, “Today, only about 60% of US

children live with their married, biological parents, a low second only to Latvia” (D’Onofrio).

This statistic truly shows how behind our society is; we are one of the lowest countries to support

the most basic function of the family. Another factor that has an even greater effect on children

in divorces is their age.

Divorce affects children differently depending on their age, meaning that they must be

handled differently on a case-to-case basis. In an article written by Keenan M. of the Salem Press

Encyclopedia of Health entitled “Children of Divorced Parents” Keenan discusses the radical

difference in divorced life experience based on age. They write “…younger children feel and act

more dependently toward the parents…Older children such as preteens and adolescents may

respond the opposite way” (Keenan). Properly educating parents is vital to the success of the

child, and to do so means to address the fundamental differences between children and

adolescents. With these basic concepts in mind, understanding the intricacies of mental health is

granted further clarity.

Before divorced parents can handle the new challenges that come from raising a divorced

child, they must understand how to handle the child’s mental health. The importance of taking

care of one’s own mental health is a frequent topic of discussion today. As a parent, it is their

responsibility to care for and instruct children to care for themselves. The first step to

remediating any sort of mental illness is awareness. To return to D’Onofrio and Emery’s article
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in World Psychiatry, they state, “Children and adult offspring of separated parents are

overrepresented in the mental health system…Structured interventions offering parenting support

and education have shown to reduce children’s psychological problems” (D’Onofrio). Not only

does this display the potential endgame for divorced offspring, but also shows that through

support groups and proper education, children may even find recovery and appeasement. This is

vitally important, yet also quite fundamental. If a parent knows how to take care of their child,

dysfunctional behavior is reduced. Given how egregious mental health issues can be, ranging

from anxiety to suicidality, expanding on this is essential to understanding what kind of metal

state children of divorce could be in.

To explain the further on how divorced children are represented in the mental health

system, they have higher rates of anxiety, as well as general misbehavior. Olivia Petter, a

lifestyle writer at Independent, analyzed the findings of a study from University College London,

where she concluded, “…[children between the ages of seven and fourteen] whose parents split

when they were older had a 16 per cent increase in emotional problems, such as anxiety, and an 8

per cent increase in conduct disorders, such as disobedience” (Petter). Such a large increase in

potential damage is hard to ignore, yet efforts to aid divorced children through these

complications is seldom heard of. Interestingly, children below this age range seem to be

affected less than their older counterparts. Elma Fitzsimons, who co-authored this study, is

paraphrased as saying that the rate of emotional damage and general understanding of the

divorce comes with age. Those who go through a divorce while older tend to have a more

cognizant grasp of the situation and are affected more profoundly. (Petter). This further edifies

the case for parenting courses, since the demands of children differ depending on their age. If

society is to begin handling the mental health of divorced children seriously, it must begin with
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acknowledging children’s opinions on their increased risk of generalized stress and mental health

issues.

There is no one more qualified to speak on the stress children of divorce face than the

children themselves. The place that these factors are seen the most is the most common place

where children are seen: school. Sean Coughlan, a BBC News correspondent focused in

education, assembled an article called “Divorce ‘damages children’s GSCEs’. Coughlan’s article

covered the far-reaching effects of divorce in relation to GSCE (General Certificate of

Education) exam scores, where he wrote, “…pupils [said] they found it harder to focus on

homework and coursework and an increased likelihood of getting into trouble at school or

playing truant” (Coughlan). Even the children who are being affected by divorce are aware of its

consequences and may even rely on their parents to help curb these issues. Harry Benson, the

Communications Director of the Marriage Foundation, wrote an article entitled “When, and

Why, Divorce Hurts Kids” In this article, Benson speaks of common questions that arise from

divorced children, such as confusion on who to blame for the divorce or confusion on how

relationships work out. This leads to a great deal of doubt towards cooperative parenting, as

young children cannot rationalize the intricacies of divorce, and tend to blame themselves or

perhaps develop resentment towards their parents (Benson). This truly shows how the mental

health of children is involved with lots of doubt and confusion surrounding their family turmoil.

With such levels of stress leading to these elements, its no wonder the children fall into these

mental health pitfalls, often beyond their control. These consequences extend even beyond

mental health and permeate into the physical well being of children as well.
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The lifestyle that ensues after a divorce takes its tole on the family, in more ways than

just one. Effects are seen in not just the mental health of children, but the physical health, too.

Unfortunately, the physical side effects of divorce have not been studied in great detail, but what

evidence is present is quite astonishing. Alice Goisis, an associate professor of Demography at

UCL, constructed a study looking at the relationship between the separation of parents and the

Body Mass Index (BMI) of children involved in said separation, entitled “Do Children Carry the

Weight of Divorce?” High BMI is generally a good measure of overweight or obese individuals.

The study found that BMI in children deviated more and more as time went on, beginning with

little impact, and eventually scaling to more drastic levels. This process takes between two to

three years to become more noticeable. The lifestyle at home is altered with a change in

environment and family structure, which is what gives rise to this (Goisis). This analysis shows

how this increase tends to lie in wait, instead of ramping up radically as with other changes in

BMI concerning lifestyle choices.

Most changes in BMI tend to occur when preventable lifestyle changes occur, such as

less exercise or a change in diet. However, divorce is an entirely different story. To further

explain this, Goisis goes on to say in her statement of her results, “…the deviations in BMI

between children experiencing separation and the profile of children from intact families are

not statistically significant until 24 months after the separation” (Goisis). The risk being hidden

for such a long time only exacerbates how destructive this can be for a child’s health Goisis

goes on to say, “Differences in overweight/obesity probability are not statistically significant

until 36 months after the separation (Goisis). If parents are instructed on this damaging

information, then they could potentially prepare to modify their parenting style to better
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accommodate a lifestyle with the complications of having a higher BMI. What comes with this

preparation is a bevy of changes, namely resource management.

Resource accessibility plays a major role in the upbringing of a child, and it is a factor

that is certain to change with divorce. Harry Benson explains this further. With two parents,

there are usually two incomes to accompany that family. When those two families split,

however, they must cover two households. What negative effects of divorce occur to the

parents more than likely will trickle down to effect the kids, and resource management is a

great source of trouble for divorced families (Benson). This magnifies the previous issues of

both mental and physical health, where the stress parents have tends to come back on the kids.

A lack of resources means a lack of material wealth and food, which would directly affect the

well-being of the kids. The amount of physical changes children undergo throughout divorce is

complicated and multifaceted, and educating parents on what is understood is essential to the

flourishing of the child.

One of the most obvious sources of damage in a divorce is the conflicts of further

relationships of the children involved. One such way this is seen is how the sense of family

togetherness is diminished, particularly so through the perception of the child. To return to the

article from Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health, it is expanded on how teens view their

families, where it is written, “While [teens] may also experience feelings of abandonment and

anger, they may become disillusioned with the idea of family. They become more independent

and less engaged with their parents and siblings” (Keenan). This behavior is also exhibited by

rebellious teens, who seek to break the mold of the past by pushing family away. Although this is

somewhat typical teenager behavior, it is even more common among those who experienced
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divorce as a child. Time spent with parents during teenage years may diminish, but it should not

be dissolved in its entirety.

Another way relationships are profoundly affected by divorce is the shift in time spent

with parents. Harry Benson puts particular emphasis on the time spent with the father. According

to Benson, any single parent will not fulfill the role of both parents. A lack of a father on a daily

basis truly affects the growth of teens. A lack of both parents makes growth for teens inhibited

(Benson). The involvement of the father, or even the mother for that matter, in a developing

child’s environment is beyond essential for normal social development. A single parent cannot

hope to fulfill the role of two different people, especially those who inherently fill opposing

roles. With the roles of parents in mind, the concept of spending time developing with each

parent could be brought into question. How effective is our justice system when it comes to

determining custody?

Fig 1. The most crucial aspect of divorce for the family is the custody battle that follows (A Look

at How Social Media Is Impacting Divorce Cases)

An often overlooked side effect of divorce in relation to constructing and viewing

relationships is the way the legal system handles custody. D’Onofrio and Emery explain this in

further detail, specifically over optimal custody assignment. The justice system tries its best to

serve the best interests of the children. There are many ways to view that phrase, though it tends

to lean towards homes that are stable for children psychologically, since that is seen as a much

greater priority to have when determining custody. While other factors, such as economic or

ethnic standards, may be considered, they often pale in comparison to the importance of mental

health. Through this precedent, a middle ground can occasionally be found where parents can

split parenting evenly, or at least to their liking (D’Onofrio). Children who are entrenched in a

custody battle may have their views on relationships warped to what the court prioritizes,

whether what the court decides is good or bad. This also potentially minimizes what say parents

have in the development of the kids, especially if the time allotted for either parent is reduced.

Something that often follows a divorce is the beginning of a stepfamily. For some

children, stepfamily is a nice alternative to their biological family, especially if the family had

abuse of some kind. However, for other children, stepfamily is only a source of more stress.

Kevin Shafer and his team of researchers for the Journal of Child & Family Studies studied these

statistics in their study entitled “Divorce Stress, Stepfamily Stress, and Depression among

Emerging Adult Stepchildren.” By measuring many factors in the lives of children going through

divorce, alongside the stepfamily life afterwards, they discovered an increase in depressive

mindsets, family stress, and general life stress. Their data shows that the disassembly of a

mother-father relationship cannot be repaired by a new step parent; stress perseveres and leads to

several mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. It also leads to further trouble in

developing intimate relationships in young adults (Shafer). This change is monumental in terms
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of development socially. Children who escape one form of stress only to enter another form

clearly would only worsen their outlook on the functioning of relationships. This is what is likely

attributed to the difficulty in the development of intimate relationships. All in all, the

reconstruction of one’s biological family into a stepfamily tends to lead to more mental health

and relationship issues. If the parent planning to be remarried were educated on these potential

outcomes, it may be possible to prepare that parent, as well as the new spouse.

With the issues concerning mental, physical, and social health in consideration, some

questions would likely be raised as to the feasibility of instructing parents and children on the life

to come after a divorce. For instance, who would provide such education to a soon-to-split

family? Based on the educated individuals present in society today, marriage or family

counselors seem to be the best bet. Their background in dealing with family structure and

maintaining healthy relationships bolster their potential as mediators. Family counselors in

particular tend to deal with divorcing or struggling families already, so they are well suited to aid

the separation in favor of the child. In addition to this, there is potential for social psychologists

to play a role in family separation. Their expertise of understanding how people act would give

them an edge over a more general counselor.

Another question that may be raised is if it’s worth the investment. Is it worth revising

the way divorce is handled in our courts, families, and communities, just to get an increase of

potential lifelong danger to children? While not every child is affected by what has been

analyzed, it is worth taking note that divorce and cohabitation is becoming more and more

common as time goes on. Soon, the effects will become more prevalent than ever before, as

children experience this tragedy more frequently. Considering how damaging divorce can be to a

child if not handled properly, it is almost undeniable how organizing the family structure after a
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divorce can be on a child throughout their lifetime. Without a strong semblance of family post-

divorce, children are sent down a spiral of turmoil and stress. Any effort to minimize this would

be of great service to the current generation of children and many generations to come. Based on

the evidence proposed here, the investment of parental education for the children of our society

is well worth the costs it would take to create such education.

To conclude on just how valuable these classes could be, reflecting on the issues society

is currently facing with children involved in divorce is a great way to round off this analysis.

Youth rebelliousness, mental illness, and struggling relationships are the most dire, as the data

and evidence above shows. By incorporating education to curb these issues, which are issues

across society, it may be possible that we see an increase in general health across the entire

population. Less youth rebelliousness would lead to less crime among the youth, and a greater

focus on mental health would lead to a drastically higher quality of life among children in

divorce. Those improvements could even last into adulthood. By aiding children’s ability to form

meaningful relationships, this would aid their cooperation, their ability to maintain current

relationships, and their ability to start their own families. With such levels of competency, it may

not be a stretch to assume that divorce could decrease dramatically with proper awareness.

Parents need to undergo parenting education after a divorce to help their children

overcome mental health, physical well-being, and relationship issues the children may form

during their development. Divorce is one of the biggest domestic conflicts in one’s lifetime, and

it has only been ramping up in the United States. From my experience alone, I can vouch that my

life would have been much different had I been part of a more complete family. Even beyond

that, the parenting education suggested within this paper would have greatly reduced the hectic

nature of my youth. The turmoil it causes lasts a lifetime, and its effects are not totally
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understood. What is understood, however, is the wide-sweeping damages it brings. It alters the

course of one’s life forever. Despite this, all hope may not be lost for the future generations.

Through further studies, awareness, and acceptance of this common domestic dilemma, we may

see a shift in families from splitting apart to moving back together.

Works Cited

“A Look at How Social Media is Impacting Divorce Cases” Huff Post. 23 May 2016.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-look-at-how-social-medi_b_10633940

Benson, Harry. “When, and Why, Divorce Hurts Kids.” Institute for Family Studies, 16 Sept.

2014, https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-kids.

Coughlan, Sean. “Divorce 'Damages Children's GCSEs'.” BBC News, BBC, 24 Nov. 2014,

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-30177051.

D'Onofrio, Brian, and Robert Emery. “Parental Divorce or Separation and Children's Mental

Health.” World Psychiatry : Official Journal of the World Psychiatric Association

(WPA), John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2 Jan. 2019,

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6313686/.

Goisis, Alice, et al. “Do Children Carry the Weight of Divorce?” SpringerLink, Springer US, 11

June 2019, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13524-019-00784-4.

Keenan, M. “Children of Divorced Parents.” Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health,

2019. EBSCOhost,

search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ers&AN=98402248&site=eds-live.
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Petter, Olivia. “Divorce Most Likely to Cause Emotional Damage to Children Aged Seven to 14,

Study Finds.” Independent, 17 Jan. 2019, https://www.independent.co.uk/life-

style/divorce-children-age-effects-emotional-damage-university-college-london-study-

a8732241.html.

Shafer, Kevin, et al. “Divorce Stress, Stepfamily Stress, and Depression among Emerging Adult

Stepchildren.” Journal of Child & Family Studies, vol. 26, no. 3, Mar. 2017, pp. 851–

862. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s10826-016-0617-0.