The Space Brothers

“THE SPACE BROTHERS”
Written by
David Kaftal
David Kaftal
424 9th Street FINAL DRAFT
Eureka, CA 95501 May 1, 2008
(707) 444-0479
“THE SPACE BROTHERS”
FADE IN:
EXT. OUTER SPACE - NIGHT
The moon, dark side toward us, is set against a gibbous

Earth in a dazzlingly starry sky.
Looking more closely, we see an immense alien mothership

hanging hidden from Earth behind the moon, suspended in
stationary orbit like a bloated spider on an invisible
web. Tiny silvery discs trickle from its mouth in a
seemingly endless line, rounding the moon and disappearing
behind it.
The camera follows the flying discs around the edge of the
moon and we see that they are heading toward Earth,
descending in the direction of Southern California.
EXT. WEST HOLLYWOOD - DAY - ESTABLISHING
Shiny cars roll down La Cienega Boulevard beneath stately

palm trees, alongside monuments to modern commerce in
concrete and steel and glass.
INT. UFO EXPO/FOOD COURT - DAY
DESMOND LOPEZ pays for a cup of coffee and carries it over

to the counter by the packets of sugar and creamer. He is
about thirty, clean cut, medium height and wiry, with dark
hair and eyes. He tears open two packets of creamer and
pours the contents into his coffee.
He and CAMILLA FRENCH, a sprightly, twenty-seven year old

blonde haired woman standing nearby, reach for the
stirring rods simultaneously. Their hands almost collide.
DESMOND
(smiling widely)
Hey Camilla!
CAMILLA
(surprised)
Desmond! What are you doing here?
Did you come to make fun of
everybody?
DESMOND
Nothing quite so anti-social! I
just dropped by to hear Dr.
Rossiter speak.
2.
CAMILLA
You’re kidding! Dr. Rossiter? From
NASA?
DESMOND
You didn’t know he was going to be
here?
CAMILLA
No, I didn’t hear anything about
it.
Desmond gestures towards an empty table.
DESMOND
Want to sit down?
CAMILLA
Why not?
They find a table and seat themselves, Desmond pulling out

Camilla’s chair for her.
CAMILLA
Thanks.
DESMOND
Sure.
They sip their coffee.
CAMILLA
You used to work with him before
you came to SpaceTech, didn’t you?
Didn’t he get into some kind of
trouble or something?
DESMOND
I worked under him for a couple of
years in Pasadena. He’s brilliant,
but a little, ah, eccentric...
(takes another sip
of coffee)
Anyway, there were a few rumors
going around, but the official
story is that he retired so he
could spend more time on his ranch.
CAMILLA
What kind of rumors?
A loud scream suddenly pierces the air. Desmond and

Camilla swing their heads around and see a man writhing on
the ground, a black uniformed security guard with a taser
standing over him. Camilla turns her head back.
3.
CAMILLA
Don’t look! Pretend you don’t see
anything.
DESMOND
That’s outrageous! Those things can
kill!
A second security guard joins the first, and they tase the
man on the ground again. And again. His screams are loud
and agonized, and interspersed with gibbering. And then he
is quiet.
The guards drag his motionless form away.
Camilla and Desmond sit in stunned silence. Desmond closes

his eyes. After a bit he looks at Camilla again.
DESMOND
Let’s get out of here.
He stands up.
DESMOND
I’ve got an extra ticket for
Rossiter’s talk. You want to come?
It’s in the main auditorium.
CAMILLA
Ah, sure.
He pulls the chair out for her, and they leave the food
court.
INT. MAIN HALL
Desmond and Camilla walk past stalls and tables crowded

with UFO related books and CDs and DVDs and other
paraphernalia.
CAMILLA
What’s the talk going to be about?
DESMOND
I don’t know. He just sent me the
tickets and a note saying he was
going to make some kind of
mysterious announcement, and that
I’d be sorry if I missed it.
CAMILLA
Hmm.
They walk a little farther.

4.
CAMILLA
What time does it start?
DESMOND
(looking at watch)
In about fifteen minutes.
They stop for a moment to look at a sculpture of a bug-

eyed alien, then move on.
DESMOND
What I don’t understand is why he
chose this venue to make his
announcement. He must realize it’ll
cost him credibility with the
scientific community.
CAMILLA
Maybe he doesn’t care what the
scientific community thinks
anymore. Maybe he’s found something
higher.
DESMOND
Like what?
CAMILLA
Can’t you think of anything higher
than science?
DESMOND
Sure. I can think of several.
CAMILLA
Name one.
They exit the main hall.
INT. CORRIDOR
They pass doors bearing announcements for UFO related

seminars and lectures.
DESMOND
Why do you want to know?
CAMILLA
I just want to know what you think.
DESMOND
Okay -- I’d say surfing is higher
than science.
CAMILLA
What? Surfing! Why surfing?
5.
DESMOND
Because it’s a science and an art.
CAMILLA
Interesting...
An immense EARTH MOTHER type festooned with goddess

jewelry stands by the entrance to the auditorium taking
tickets.
Desmond hands her the ducats. She tears them in half and
hands him back the stubs.
EARTH MOTHER
These are VIP tickets. You’ll be
sitting in the reserved seats up
front.
DESMOND
Oh cool. Thanks.
They go in.
INT. AUDITORIUM
An USHER leads them toward the front row. Suddenly Camilla

grabs Desmond’s arm.
CAMILLA
(excitedly)
Look! TV cameras!
Two cameraman/reporter teams are setting up. One of the

reporters, BRENDA WHITTAKER, has particularly fabulous
hair.
DESMOND
How about that.
CAMILLA
(still hanging onto
Desmond)
This is great! Hey, isn’t that
Brenda Whittaker over there? The
reporter?
DESMOND
I'm not sure. I don’t watch much
TV.
They arrive at the center of the front row. The usher

shines his flashlight on two seats next to each other.
USHER
Here ya go.
6.
DESMOND
Thank you.
The usher leaves and they settle into their seats. The
auditorium is about half full; more people stream in.
In the background we hear the cheesy, eerie strains of

Theramin music.
Almost imperceptibly the light begins to dim as the hall

fills. After a bit it gets a little darker and a spotlight
comes on, lighting the empty lectern.
The Earth Mother who’d been taking tickets emerges from the
wings and walks to the podium. She taps on the microphone,
and is rewarded with a loud clunk.
Then she looks around the room, her face shining with
pride and perspiration.
EARTH MOTHER
I can’t tell you how inspiring it
is to look out at all of you, and
see so many highly evolved souls
here tonight! I think we should
give ourselves a big round of
applause...
She begins to clap enthusiastically, and the room explodes

into a self-congratulatory frenzy.
DESMOND
(whispers to
Camilla)
I don’t know how much of this
idiocy I’ll be able to take.
Camilla pointedly ignores him and stands up, sparking a

standing ovation.
Eventually the applause dies down, and the audience sinks

back into its seats.
EARTH MOTHER
There -- didn’t that feel good?
Murmurs of agreement ripple through the crowd.
EARTH MOTHER
Well folks, everybody, you’d better
prepare yourselves. I’ve just
learned that we’re about to witness
history being made. I am sooo
excited! I wish I could tell you
what I know, but that would be
spilling the beans.
(MORE)
7.
EARTH MOTHER (CONT’D)

So instead, let me introduce
tonight’s guest, who I guarantee has
quite a surprise in store for you.
(pauses)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Whole
Cosmos Expo is proud to present the
founder and head of the newly
formed Intergalactic Pleiadian
Society...
At the word “Pleiadian” Camilla clamps her fingers onto

Desmond’s leg just above the knee in excitement, then
quickly jerks her hand back.
EARTH MOTHER
...former director of NASA’s Jet
Propulsion Laboratory and world
famous scientist... I wish I had a
drum roll here... Doctor Eugene
Rossiter!
Paroxysms of delirious applause.
DR. ROSSITER emerges from behind the curtains and walks to

the podium. He nods stiffly to the Earth Mother, who
withdraws.
Rossiter looks ancient. He is tall and gaunt, and his bald

scalp stretches across an oversized egg shaped cranium. He
wears a crisply starched white lab coat.
Dr. Rossiter nods once toward the audience, gravely, then

waits until the applause dies down. Once the room is quiet
he picks up a glass of water from the podium, examines it
closely, and takes a sip. Then he puts the glass back and
pauses a moment longer before speaking.
DR. ROSSITER
Tonight...
A gunshot erupts from the audience, and Dr. Rossiter is

struck down, an ugly bloodstain on his white lab coat.
People scream. There is pandemonium.
We see a man in a black ski mask backing toward the exit,

a huge .44 Magnum in his hand.
Suddenly the stage curtains are flung apart and ZANDOR

strides forward. He is about seven and a half feet tall,
with golden ringlets of hair and cornflower blue eyes. He
is sculpted like a Greek statue, and clad in a white
tunic, golden cincture and gold sandals. In one hand he
holds a “light scepter,” a curious looking rod with a
glowing spiral coil at its tip.
The man in the ski mask lets out a strangled cry, turns
and bolts headlong toward the door.
8.
Zandor calmly points the light scepter at him and blasts

him with a beam of intense blue light, immobilizing him.
The man floats upward until he is horizontal in the air,

still immobile in the beam of light and floating a few
feet above the audience. The TV cameramen frantically
swing their cameras from Rossiter lying in a pool of blood
to the man suspended above them.
ZANDOR
(to audience)
May peace be yours!
(looks around room)
My name is Zandor. Have no fear of
the creature overhead, nor for him.
He is not what he seems, but I have
rendered him harmless. Behold...
As Zandor speaks, the levitating man’s clothing and flesh

seem to melt away in the blue light. A shape emerges --
gray and hairless, about three and a half feet long, an
oversized head attached to a spindly neck -- it is a
classic Gray. The audience screams.
Zandor adjusts a dial on the light scepter, and the ray of

light turns purple. It seems to encase the Gray in a
cocoon of spinning purple light, and then suddenly with a
loud pop the alien disappears. Zandor switches off the
scepter.
ZANDOR
Be not concerned! He has not been
injured, merely translated to
another dimension where he can do
no further harm.
The audience appears stunned. Camilla is curled up in a

fetal position peeking through her fingers, Desmond’s arm
around her protectively.
Zandor turns the scepter back on and bathes Dr. Rossiter

in an emerald colored ray. After a few seconds the doctor’s
eyes flutter open and he sits up. He pulls up his shirt
and examines his chest.
DR. ROSSITER
(his voice shaky)
I-Impossible! I’m alive, and
there’s no sign of a bullet
hole...
Zandor helps him to his feet.
ZANDOR
The bullet went through your heart
and lodged against your spine.
(MORE)
9.
ZANDOR (CONT’D)
However, the ray from my light
scepter transmuted the mass of the
bullet into the energy which healed
you... Fortunately our medical
technology is far advanced beyond
that of your planet, or else you
would still be dead.
DR. ROSSITER
(still shaky)
Yes, I must have been dead...
Several people in the audience are crying. A small throng

gathers in front of the stage and tries to clamber up onto
it, arms outstretched towards Zandor. A woman swoons.
Dr. Rossiter steps up to the microphone.
DR. ROSSITER
Everyone, please...
He leans against the podium, supporting himself.
DR. ROSSITER
Please go back to your seats. No
pushing, there! Please, just go
back to your seats and sit down.
Zandor would like to say a few
words once everyone is seated.
Zandor’s admirers reluctantly withdraw.
DR. ROSSITER
Thank you. Thank you very much.
He picks up the glass of water and drains it.
DR. ROSSITER
I hadn’t anticipated such a
dramatic introduction...
(pauses)
... but perhaps it’s as fitting a
way as any for the first emissary
from an extraterrestrial
civilization to make his initial
public appearance on Earth. Ladies
and gentlemen, please permit me to
introduce my dear friend, the
Pleiadian Ambassador to Earth --
Zandor!
A frenzied roar erupts from the crowd.
INT. JOE & EMILY’S APARTMENT/KITCHEN (VENICE BEACH) - DAY
The apartment is sparsely furnished and a little messy.

10.
EMILY is in her late twenties. She is medium height, thin,

and a little pale looking, with long, frizzy black hair.
Emily reaches into the oven with a hot mitt, and brushes
her exposed left forearm against the side of the oven’s
interior. She cries out in pain and slams the oven door
shut.
JOE (O.S.)
Damn it, do you mind? I’m in here
trying to watch something!
Emily picks up a large carving knife and heads toward the

living room, sucking on the burn spot.
INT. LIVING ROOM
JOE is seated in an easy chair in front of the television.

He is maybe a year or two younger than Emily and a few
inches taller. He sports a buzz cut, two earrings, and
double full sleeve tats. He seems to be in a trance-like
state.
Emily appears in the doorway, knife in hand. She looks

right at him.
EMILY
(shrieks)
What is wrong with you?
There is no reaction from Joe, who continues to stare

zombie-like at the TV screen.
Emily walks over by him. She looks down at the knife, then
over at Joe, then back at the knife, and finally at the TV
set. Zandor is speaking.
Emily sinks to the floor. She sits cross-legged, watching

TV.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
... and so, we have traveled across
the vastness of space to help guide
you through your long awaited
paradigm shift, that you might
finally reclaim your forgotten
birthright as Divine Beings.
(pauses)
We have come in the spirit of
Universal Love. My dear friends,
never doubt that we are your True
Space Brothers and Sisters!
INT. UFO EXPO/AUDITORIUM (LIVE) - DAY
Back to Zandor in front of the live audience.

11.
ZANDOR
Gentle people of Earth, do not be
deceived by the hollow lies of the
Zeta Reticulans, or Grays as you
sometimes call them. They are
creatures of darkness, and have
been our enemies for more than half
a million of your Earth years.
Long ages ago we assumed the task

of checking their every advance.
The compassion we bear in our
hearts for all living beings does
not allow us to annihilate them, as
we easily could, but still it is
our sacred duty to nonviolently
counter them whenever they threaten
any sentient life form.
Zandor pauses for a moment and looks around the room, then
looks back at the television cameras.
ZANDOR
For some time now, the Zetas have
been treacherously abusing your
species. I speak here of much more
than their abductions of your
people, or even their obscene human
genetic experiments. The situation
is, in fact, far graver than any of
you can imagine, and daily grows
more ominous.
(pauses)
I will speak more of this in days
to come. For now, however, I must
let you know that the problems
posed by the Zetas are as nothing,
compared to a vastly more urgent
threat to your continued existence;
one which I shall reveal when I
address the General Assembly of
your United Nations later today.
But now I must leave for New York.
Thank you for your attention, and
may peace be yours.
INT. JOE AND EMILY’S APARTMENT/LIVING ROOM - DAY
Joe and Emily are still sitting transfixed in front of

their TV set. Brenda Whittaker, wildly popular ace
reporter, is now on the screen. Behind her we see excited
people from Zandor’s audience milling about. She flashes a
2000 watt smile at her faithful viewing public.
12.
BRENDA
(on TV)
And now we take you back to our
newsroom. This is Brenda Whittaker
for News Channel 99, live from the
Whole Cosmos Expo in West
Hollywood.
The station cuts to CHAD CUMMINGS and CYNTHIA MCDONALD,

daytime anchors for News Channel 99.
CHAD
(on TV)
Thank you Brenda.
(turns to Cynthia)
What an unbelievable story!
CYNTHIA
(on TV)
It certainly is, Chad. And what
about those space aliens abducting
people and performing bizarre sex
experiments on them? Sounds like a
creepy urban legend come to life!
Emily gets to her feet, the carving knife still in her

hand.
EMILY
(hollow whisper)
Becky was abducted by aliens once.
But don’t tell her I told you.
CHAD
(on TV)
When we return, we’ll bring you the
results of a three-year, four-
point-eight trillion dollar federal
study into why men don’t lower
those toilet seats... but first, we
have to pay a few bills. We’ll be
right back.
Joe aims the remote control and switches stations to a

documentary about blowfish.
EMILY
(grabbing for the
remote)
You creep! I wanted to hear that
story about the toilet seats!
Joe jerks back the remote and slaps the knife out of Emily’s
hand. Emily jumps on him and bites his wrist. They spill
onto the floor, intertwined and writhing furiously as they
fight for the remote.
13.
INT. UFO EXPO/AUDITORIUM - DAY
Desmond and Camilla are crushed up against the front of

the stage as excited audience members try to mob Zandor.
Dr. Rossiter calls down to Desmond.
DR. ROSSITER
Lopez! I can use an assistant. Do
you want to come with us?
DESMOND
It would be an honor, sir.
Camilla grabs onto Desmond.
CAMILLA
Take me with you.
DESMOND
Can Camilla come too? She works
with me at SpaceTech.
DR. ROSSITER
Very well, but get a move on. We
have to be in New York in less than
an hour.
Zandor pushes another button on his light scepter, and a

"bubble" of purple light forms around him and expands to
envelop Rossiter and then Desmond and Camilla down on the
floor, while not allowing anyone else into the glowing
force field. The sphere with the four of them in it floats
upwards like a giant purple soap bubble, and glides over
the heads of the now frenzied audience members to side
exit doors which open onto the parking lot. The doors
swing open and the ball floats out.
EXT. UFO EXPO/PARKING LOT - DAY
The doors swing shut by themselves and the globe touches

down and vanishes, leaving the four standing together in
the parking lot. A large circular shadow glides over them
and they look up. Onlookers peer upwards as well, and
several scream in terror. Hovering above the parking lot
is a flying saucer about seventy-five feet in diameter.
DR. ROSSITER
Ah! Our ride.
EXT. COOTER'S TRAILER/FRONT PORCH (NEAR WEAVERVILLE) - DAY
COOTER and BUTCH are sitting on the porch stairs drinking

beer and staring past Cooter’s battered Ford pickup at
Northern California’s majestic Trinity Alps.
14.
The sun is dazzlingly bright. There are beads of sweat on

the beer cans, and rivulets of sweat running down the men’s
faces. Cooter is lean and hard, and looks like he might be
forty or fifty. He wears jeans and a T-shirt. Butch looks
as if he could have been struck from the same mold.
LITTLE WILLIE, weighing in at over 400 lbs., is leaning

back, scratching his back against a porch column like a
bear. Suddenly he expels a stream of tobacco juice.
BUTCH
Damn it Willie, watch what you’re
doin’! You almost got my boot.
LITTLE WILLIE
(laughing)
Shoot! Can’t believe I missed.
BUTCH
It ain’t funny!
LITTLE WILLIE
You ain’t got no sense of humor.
Cooter turns around to face Little Willie.
COOTER
Give it a break Willie.
(turns back to
Butch)
And you can just lighten up a
little.
Little Willie settles onto a rickety wooden chair. It

looks as if it might collapse at any moment.
LITTLE WILLIE
Any more beers?
COOTER
Yeah, help yourself.
Butch reaches into the ice chest next to him and pulls out
two cans. He shakes one vigorously and holds it out to
Willie.
LITTLE WILLIE
Lemme have the other one, wise guy.
BUTCH
No skin offa my nose.
He hands Willie the other beer, tosses the first one back
into the cooler, and gets himself a different one.
Willie spits his chaw out into the yard, cracks open his
beer, drains it, and flings the empty over Cooter’s rusting
satellite dish, barely missing it.
15.
Butch finishes his beer and throws the can higher and
further than Willie’s.
LITTLE WILLIE
Good throw.
BUTCH
(offering Willie a
new beer)
Want another one?
LITTLE WILLIE
Is that the one you shook up?
BUTCH
Naw.
LITTLE WILLIE
I don’t believe you.
BUTCH
You want a different one?
Butch starts to put the beer back, and Willie leans

forward and grabs it from his hand.
LITTLE WILLIE
Gimme that one.
He points the top of the can at Butch and pops it open.

Nothing shoots out. Willie puts the can to his fleshy
lips, upends it, and seconds later its contents are
history. He burps loudly.
As Willie wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, a mud
splattered Jeep approaches along the dirt road leading up
to Cooter’s trailer. Cooter’s dogs begin barking o.s.
The Jeep comes to a stop in front of the trailer and ROGER

climbs out. His is clad all in camo.
ROGER
Hey Cooter, your TV working?
COOTER
Hell yeah.
BUTCH
(handing Roger a
cold one)
Have a beer.
ROGER
Thanks. Listen you guys, it’s like
this. They just faked some ten foot
tall E.T. on TV, and supposedly it’s
speaking at the U.N. right now.
(MORE)
16.
ROGER (CONT’D)
This looks like the opening move of
something bad.
COOTER
It’s on TV right now?
ROGER
Yep. If we hurry we should still be
able to catch some of it.
COOTER
Well let’s go in and see what the
hell they’re up to!
Cooter leads the way and they all parade inside.
INT. COOTER’S TRAILER/LIVING ROOM
Cooter switches on the TV, but nothing happens -- the

screen stays dark.
ROGER
Is it plugged in?
COOTER
(giving the TV set a
resounding kick)
It’s just cantankerous.
The TV flickers on. We see a shot of the United Nations

Building.
TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(on TV)
We will return to our special
report “Ambassador from Space” after
this important message.
A torrent of tobacco juice splashes onto the picture of

the U.N. Building. A second later the station cuts to
another commercial, this time with a barbershop quartet of
surgeons in their scrubs hoisting cups of coffee and
singing a jingle during open-heart surgery.
COOTER
Damn it Willie, was you raised in a
pig sty? This is my home. Show a
little respect.
LITTLE WILLIE
To the UN?
Roger puts his beer down and picks up an oily rag lying
next to Cooter’s rifle on the coffee table.
17.
ROGER
(gesturing toward
the TV)
Okay if I use this?
COOTER
I guess.
As Roger wipes off most of the tobacco juice and smears

the rest, Butch spies Roger’s unattended beer and snatches
it. Popping open the tab, he showers himself with beer and
foam.
Little Willie howls with laughter.
COOTER
Shut the hell up! It’s starting.
The shot of the U.N. Building flashes back onto the TV

screen.
TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(on TV)
We now rejoin Zandor’s address in
progress...
EXT. TOPANGA CANYON - DAY
BOBBY FLETCHER leans into the turn as his off-road/on-road

Yamaha motorcycle scrabbles off Old Canyon onto a narrow
trail winding up the side of a hill. His green dreadlocks
flutter from beneath his helmet. He is twenty-five.
Almost a dozen dogs appear from behind a boulder and

charge him, barking savagely. He guns the bike and shoots
forward, barely escaping.
At the top of the hill Bobby slows down as he rides past

three young hippies playing hacky sack and a school bus
brightly painted in psychedelic patterns. He rolls to a
stop in front of a Lakota-style teepee.
EXT. FRONT OF TEEPEE - DAY
COUGAR, a gray haired hippie in his mid-sixties, pokes his

head out the opening.
COUGAR
(with a thick
Hungarian accent)
Move that stinking infernal
combustion engine downwind!
BOBBY
Sure thing! Sorry.
18.
Bobby dismounts and rolls the bike over by a manzanita

bush where he leaves it propped up on its kickstand. He
strolls back to the teepee and squats in front of the
opening.
BOBBY
How’s it going?
MOONRAVEN, as white as the moon, plump as a cherry, and

forty-two, flashes a big smile from inside the teepee.
MOONRAVEN
Come on in! We’re watching Zandor
the Pleiadian address the U.N.
INT. TEEPEE
Cougar and Moonraven are sitting in front of their

television, Zandor’s face on the screen. There is also a
telephone, a stereo and a computer in the teepee.
BOBBY
(climbing in)
No way! I was just down by the
Whole Cosmos Expo when he was
there! I saw him take off in his
flying saucer like an hour ago!
COUGAR
That Zandor is a phony baloney!
Badmouthing the Grays!
MOONRAVEN
Cougar’s a little irritable today.
But beneath all that grumbling he
knows we’re all brothers and
sisters, no matter what galaxy we
come from. Don’t you, Sweetie?
COUGAR
Be quiet! I want to hear what that
no good bum is saying.
MOONRAVEN
(to Bobby)
Would you like some organic sesame-
black bean-amaranth chips and
guacamole dip?
Cougar punches up the volume on the remote until Zandor’s

voice is very loud.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
After tracking Zeta Reticulan
activity to your sector of the
galaxy, our scouting parties...
19.
Cougar turns the volume back down a little.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
... arrived here and in the course
of routine observation came to
realize that you were facing a
menace so severe that it threatened
to render all life on your planet
extinct. We found that your
industrial and automotive emissions
had created a greenhouse effect,
producing global warming which in
turn was causing your ice caps to
melt, throwing the Earth’s
equilibrium out of balance. Our
extremely sensitive instruments now
show that your planet’s axis is
currently displaying significant
rotational irregularities, and,
what is worse, they are rapidly
compounding.
Cougar turns the volume the rest of the way down.
COUGAR
Big surprise! As if we need some
nine foot tall pretty boy in a toga
to tell us that! I have three books
and a DVD that say the same thing!
This guy needs some new material.
He turns the volume back up.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
... a shock. As a result of this
chain of events, in a matter of
days the rotation of the Earth’s
axis will become violently
eccentric, and your planet’s crust
will begin to break up into many
thousands of pieces. There will be
gigantic earthquakes and tidal
waves. All this will bring about a
much needed cleansing of the Earth,
but at a terrible cost.
COUGAR
About time, too.
MOONRAVEN
You need a massage, Sweetie Pie. Or
some Reiki.
Moonraven puts her hands on Cougar’s shoulders and leaves

them there as she tilts her head back and closes her eyes.
20.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
Fortunately we, your true Space
Brothers and Sisters, have arrived
just at this very point in time to
rescue you from this impending
catastrophe! We have sufficient
transport vessels for all who wish
to be saved. Participation is
entirely voluntary, and all
passengers will be safely returned
to Earth after the transition.
Zandor holds up a booklet.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
Distinguished United Nations
delegates, if you would care to
examine the report I prepared for
you, you will see that it contains
a tentative schedule of primary
departure locations and times.
Moonraven removes her hands from Cougar’s shoulders and

flicks away invisible etheric slime.
Just then her eight year old son, SIERRA SUNHAWK, climbs
into the teepee. He is wearing a breechcloth, face paint
and a headband with a turkey feather in it.
SIERRA
(heading for the TV)
It’s time for the Mega Pirates.
COUGAR
(arm outstretched,
blocking him)
We’re watching this.
MOONRAVEN
It’s our turn to pick the show,
Sweetie. You got to watch cartoons
all morning.
Sierra pulls away from Cougar.
SIERRA
Let go of me!
(goes to his mom)
Pleeeease can I watch my show?
MOONRAVEN
I’m sorry, Honey. You can pick the
next one.
SIERRA
What?
21.
Sierra pees into the bowl of guacamole dip.
MOONRAVEN
Sierra Sunhawk! You do that again
and you’re getting a time out!
SIERRA
(scampering over to
the opening)
If you can catch me, you big, fat
butthead.
Sierra jumps through the opening and is gone.
COUGAR
(cranking the volume
on the TV back up)
Keep it down! I can’t hear.
ZANDOR
(on TV)
... whenever possible. As you can
see, the first rescue operation is
scheduled for three days from now
at noon, Pacific Time, from the top
of Mount Wilson, just outside of
Los Angeles. It will be followed by
many others at hundreds of
thousands of sites all over your
planet during the following hours
and days. The times and places are
all listed in this report.
(closes the booklet)
And now, I am certain that you all
have much to consider and to
discuss among yourselves. If you
will please excuse me, I shall take
my leave. Thank you very much for
your kind attention, and may peace
be yours.
Moonraven heaves herself to her feet and walks to the

teepee opening. She sticks her head out through it.
MOONRAVEN
(calling loudly)
Yoo hoo, Sierra! You can watch your
show now!
EXT. U.N. BUILDING - DAY
Zandor, Dr. Rossiter, Desmond and Camilla exit the

building in a purple bubble, pursued by a tidal wave of
reporters waving cameras and microphones at them. Their
flying saucer is parked about 75 yards away. Halfway
between it and the building are ten PROTESTERS
demonstrating for animal rights.
22.
PROTESTERS
(together)
Feather, fin, hoof and claw --
Wild and free is nature’s law!
As Zandor and his entourage approach the spacecraft, they

also approach the protesters, who are directly in front of
them.
CAMILLA
(to no one in
particular)
Hey, cool! I’m a vegetarian.
(yells)
Meat is murder!
Dr. Rossiter gives her a withering look.
One of the protesters (PROTESTER #1) clambers up onto a

wooden crate and waves a sign at the approaching media.
PROTESTER #1
(from atop the crate)
We are here to speak for the
animals!
PROTESTER #2 moves to in front of the crate and faces the

cameras.
PROTESTER #2
And we are here to free the
animals!
Protester #1 hops down, and he and Protester #2 remove the

lid, then turn the crate upside-down while the rest of the
demonstrators stand behind them in a semi-circle, cheering
at the TV cameras trained on the UFO.
The two protesters shake the box and out tumble a dead
bat, a maimed koala cub, several crippled lizards and
snakes, a dead flamingo, a scruffy coyote spitting out
pink feathers, a banana slug in unknown condition, and a
furious bobcat missing half an ear.
The coyote seizes the flamingo in its teeth and dashes

off, while the bobcat bolts in the opposite direction. The
other critters just lay still, except for the baby koala,
who crawls forward haltingly, whimpering.
PROTESTER #1
Uhhh, see, this is what happens
when you...
A phalanx of troops wearing baby blue helmets and carrying

9mm Uzis suddenly appears and heads for the protesters at
double time.
23.
PROTESTER #1
(to the other
protesters)
Let’s get the hell out of here!
The protesters flee abruptly, leaving the newly released

animals to fend for themselves.
The little koala cub struggles forward a few pitiful

steps. The thundering herd of approaching soldiers is only
twenty yards away from it. Fifteen yards. Ten. The koala
is about to be horribly crushed.
CAMILLA
(to Zandor)
Can’t you do something?
The Pleiadian draws his light scepter and points it at the

tiny koala. Instantly a globe of purple light surrounds it
and floats it up above the troops’ heads, just before it
would have been trampled to death.
The cub floats in its purple bubble towards Zandor and

entourage until its globe merges with theirs, and it drops
lightly into Camilla’s arms. She gazes at it and then up at
Zandor with tears in her eyes.
CAMILLA
(her voice barely
audible)
Thank you...
Zandor twists a knob on his scepter, points it, and the

crippled marsupial is bathed in a ray of vivid green
light. Instantly it stops whimpering and its movements
become normal.
Camilla squeezes Zandor’s arm, stands on her toes, and

kisses his chest. He smiles in response, and lightly runs
his fingers through his hair.
Camilla pets the critter. It tries to nurse on one of her

fingers.
DESMOND
Look -- he’s hungry.
ZANDOR
Let us go to the spacecraft! We
have bovine lacteal secretions on
board. I can rearrange their
molecular structure a little so
that our friend here can assimilate
the nutrients more easily.
They resume walking toward the flying saucer, the press

still following them.
24.
Off to the side the animal rights activists are all lying
on the asphalt face down, their hands clasped behind their
heads, Uzi barrels pressed against their skulls. None of
the media are paying any attention to them.
A cordon of blue-helmeted troops surrounds the saucer. At

the foot of the ramp are four policemen in black uniforms
carrying AR-15s. As Zandor and his associates approach the
ramp, the police block their way. POLICEMAN #1 opens his
citation book.
POLICEMAN #1
Is this your vehicle?
ZANDOR
It belongs to the Pleiadian
Federation, but I am its captain.
Policeman #1 scrawls out a ticket and thrusts it toward

Zandor.
POLICEMAN #1
Maybe the next time you’re in New
York you’ll remember this ain’t a
parking lot. Sign on the bottom.
Zandor reaches through the force field and plucks the

ticket from the policeman’s hand.
ZANDOR
(signing it and
handing it back)
Please accept my utmost apologies.
The transgression was entirely
unintentional.
POLICEMAN #1
Yeah, yeah, I’m all choked up.
Here’s your copy. Now get this heap
back to Mars or wherever the hell
it came from before you start any
more riots.
Policeman #1 steps aside and motions with a jerk of his

thumb for the four to go on through, but stops the media
horde. The reporters shout questions over each other.
REPORTER #1
When will the earthquakes start?
REPORTER #2
What are you going to do about the
Grays?
REPORTER #3
Why can’t you use your advanced
technology to stop the destruction?
25.
REPORTER #4
Is this the end of the world?
Zandor and company are about halfway up the ramp. Desmond

turns to the Pleiadian.
DESMOND
Don’t you think you could maybe take
just one or two questions before we
leave?
ZANDOR
Very well, I shall answer one
question.
DR. ROSSITER
(loudly)
Zandor will take exactly one
question.
(pointing)
You there...
ASIAN WOMAN REPORTER

Ambassador Zandor, isn’t three days
rushing things a bit? How do we
know we can trust you?
ZANDOR
Three days from now the Earth’s
crust will begin to violently break
apart, and it will be apparent to
all that I have spoken the truth.
As for the other part of your
question, you can know if you
should trust me by listening to
your heart.
(smiling and waving)
Thank you, and may peace be yours!
INT. JOE AND EMILY’S APARTMENT/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Emily opens the sliding glass door to the balcony and

pokes her head out. We hear the sounds of traffic outside.
EMILY
It’s balmy tonight.
Joe is typing away on a computer and makes no response.

Emily looks at her wristwatch. It is eight o’clock. She
crosses over to the TV, turns it on, and is greeted by a
radiantly perky face with remarkably white teeth.
BRENDA
(on TV)
Good evening everyone, I’m Brenda
Whittaker for News Channel 99.
(MORE)
26.
BRENDA (CONT’D)
Topping tonight’s news: we are not
alone. That’s the word from experts
around the world, in light of
today’s stunning developments. And
just how serious is that glitch in
the spin of the Earth’s axis that
spaceman Zandor warned us about...
or for that matter, does it really
exist? We’ll have differing
opinions on this important question
from scientists at -- where else?
-- USC and UCLA. Plus, are you
ready for outer space? People are
already showing up on Mt. Wilson
with their sleeping bags, lawn
chairs, and ice chests, digging in
for what they hope will be the
experience of a lifetime -- and it’s
a party! We’ll be taking you there
live, right after these messages...
Emily mutes the TV.
EMILY
How much longer are you going to be
on the internet? I’m expecting an
important call.
Still no answer.
EMILY
(screaming)
Joe!
JOE
What?
EMILY
I’m waiting for a phone call.
JOE
I’ll be off in two minutes.
EMILY
You said that an hour and a half
ago.
JOE
No, really, I’m almost done.
EMILY
You said that an hour ago.
Joe continues to type. Emily leaves the room.
On the muted TV screen we see people in a circle holding

hands, the Mt. Wilson Observatory behind them in the b.g.
27.
On the observatory someone has hung a banner that says

“Welcome Space Brothers!”
A young woman rides across the screen on horseback. A girl

of about ten and an old woman walk together past tents and
campfires, each carrying cat carriers with cats in them.
They pass a grizzled yogi wearing only a loincloth and
beads sits cross-legged on the grass, meditating. Near him
four teenagers sit by a campfire and drink beer.
Emily reenters the room with her carving knife. She walks
over to the modem and slashes its phone line.
JOE
Are you crazy? What the hell did
you do that for?
EMILY
(waving knife
carelessly)
I told you, I’m expecting an
important call.
JOE
Well... damn.
The phone rings. Emily picks it up.
EMILY
(into phone)
Hello.
(beat)
Hey Becky!
Emily walks out of the room, the cordless phone to her

ear, and into her bedroom.
INT. JOE AND EMILY’S APARTMENT/EMILY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Emily locks the door behind her, then paces nervously as

she talks with Becky.
EMILY
(into phone)
Guess what! Joe is driving me
crazy, and I can’t decide whether
to kill him or leave him.
INT. BECKY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
BECKY sits on her neatly made pink bed. She has a phone in
one hand and a mirror in the other. She sticks the mirror
between her feet, picks up a hairbrush, and carefully
brushes her magenta hair.
28.
BECKY
(into phone)
Oh, Joe’s okay.
INTERCUT WITH Emily in her bedroom.
EMILY
(into phone)
You think so? You try living with
him and see how long you can take
it.
(pause)
Listen... I’ve been thinking about
heading up to Mt. Wilson. If I go,
you want to go with me?
BECKY
(into phone)
You mean go for a ride on a flying
saucer? After what happened the
last time I did that, I don’t think
so.
(beat)
Are you really going?
EMILY
(into phone)
Maybe. These aliens are supposed to
be the good guys, right? Not the
ones you had your run-in with?
BECKY
(into phone)
Well, that’s what they’re saying.
But I don’t know... I just don’t
think I can trust any aliens
anymore. What if these guys turn
out to be just as bad as the Grays,
or worse?
EMILY
(into phone)
You are like so xenophobic! Suppose
we really do start having all those
earthquakes and everything, and
your only hope for survival is to
get beamed up in a flying saucer?
What are you going to do then?
BECKY
(into phone)
Well, in that case I might go. But
so far there haven’t been any
quakes.
As if on cue, the earth rocks and rolls. Windows rattle

and small objects are knocked to the floor. Becky and
Emily shreik simultaneously.
29.
EMILY
(into phone)
No quakes, huh? What do you call
that?
BECKY
(into phone)
Oh my God...
Becky turns on her bedroom TV and starts flipping through

the channels.
BECKY
(into phone)
Hold on, I’ve gotta see if they say
how big it was.
News Channel 99 comes on, and Brenda Whittaker’s smiling

face appears.
BRENDA
(on TV)
... preliminary reports indicating
six point six on the Richter scale,
with the epicenter located beneath
the ocean about forty miles west of
San Pedro. So far there are no
reports of injuries or serious
damage.
BECKY
(into phone)
Whoa, that was fast! They’re saying
it was a six point six.
BRENDA
(on TV)
Coming up next, sports with Rufus
Jackson, followed by the weather,
the latest business news, and
tonight’s lifestyle feature on the
latest in designer sunglasses.
Everything you want... and need...
to know!
INT. NEWS CHANNEL 99 STUDIO (LIVE) - NIGHT
Brenda Whittaker smiles at a TV camera as she wraps up her

report.
BRENDA
We’ll be back at the top of the
hour with more live coverage from
the gathering on Mt. Wilson, and
updates on all the rest of the
day’s major stories.
(MORE)
30.
BRENDA (CONT’D)
But first, a few short messages
from our sponsors. I’m Brenda
Whittaker for News Channel 99, all
news, all the time.
Brenda Whittaker unclips her lavalier mike and carelessly

tosses it onto the tabletop.
TED MARSALA, thirty year old camera operator, takes off

his headphones and hangs them from the camera pedestal.
TED
Great job, Brenda! As always. You
really knocked ‘em dead.
BRENDA
Get real. You think I don’t know
when the show stinks?
TED
Well, I thought you were good...
BYRON TOLLIVER, well dressed, silvery haired owner of the

TV station, enters the studio.
BYRON
Great job, Brenda!
BRENDA
Why, thank you, Sir!
BYRON
And don’t think the network hasn’t
noticed. They just might try to
steal you from me one of these
days.
BRENDA
Why Byron, I’d never dream of
breaking my contract.
BYRON
Of course not, of course not.
Byron coughs gently into his closed fist.
BYRON
You know you’re my good luck charm,
don’t you Pun’kin?
BRENDA
(laughs)
Don’t be silly. I’m not going
anywhere.
BYRON
Course not.
31.
He gazes at her a moment too long.
BYRON
Well, you take it easy. I’ll see
you tomorrow.
BRENDA
(openly erotic)
Good night, Byron.
TED
Night, Byron.
OSCAR MEEKS, fortyish, shy and self-effacing, enters the

room just as Byron is about to leave.
OSCAR
Good night Mr. Tolliver.
BYRON
Night everybody.
Byron flashes a wave of the hand and exits.
Oscar picks up Brenda’s lavalier mike and examines it.
OSCAR
(stuttering)
M-miss Whittaker, I really wish you
wouldn’t toss your m-microphones
around. They’re very sensitive, and
it takes me a long time to repair
them when they b-break.
BRENDA
What are you talking about? I’m a
professional. I don’t mistreat my
equipment.
OSCAR
(putting down the
mike)
N-no, Miss Whittaker, I’m sure you
don’t... it’s just that... ah...
those mikes are very sensitive, and
I worry about them. I’m sorry... I
ah... in fact, I’ve always... ah...
admired your p-professionalism.
BRENDA
Why thank you Oscar.
OSCAR
Oh, you’re welcome, Miss Whittaker.
I-I really mean it. You’re very
professional.
32.
BRENDA
That’s very kind of you.
(beat)
Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you
about something I heard you mention
to Coleman earlier today...
something about a miniature unit
for doing live remotes?
OSCAR
(blushing)
Oh, it’s nothing really. Just a
little gizmo I came up with. More
of a toy than anything else...
BRENDA
I’m sure you’re being much too
modest.
OSCAR
No, really, it can only broadcast a
low resolution signal -- but it
does have a range of half a mile,
and it’ll fit in your pocket.
BRENDA
What if you had a truck with an
uplink inside that half mile?
OSCAR
Well, then you could rebroadcast
the signal, but it really wouldn’t
be broadcast quality. It’s made for
one of those little digital
consumer camcorders.
BRENDA
But you’d still be able to see the
picture okay?
OSCAR
Oh sure. In fact, with the
equipment we have in our trucks, we
should be able to tweak it enough
to get it looking pretty darn good!
Brenda moves closer to Oscar until they almost touch.
BRENDA
If I had a big story... I mean a
huge monster story with footage
that every station in the world
would give anything to run, no
matter what it looked like, and the
only way we could get the story out
while it was still breaking was
with your invention...
(MORE)
33.
BRENDA (CONT’D)
That would be quite a feather in
your cap, wouldn’t it?
OSCAR
I-I suppose so... b-b but it’s
really not ready yet for a field
test.
BRENDA
You’re not afraid I’ll break your
little gadget, are you?
OSCAR
Oh no, Miss Whittaker, I’m sure
you’d take very good care of it...
BRENDA
(putting her arms
around Oscar’s neck)
Oh I would, and I’d take very good
care of you, too...
INT. FLYING SAUCER - DAY
Desmond, Camilla and Dr. Rossiter lay half swallowed by

reclining egg-shaped seats, while Zandor sits at the
controls, piloting the flying saucer.
The compartment is entirely white. The shapes, though

functional, are highly refined and sculptural, and very
alien looking. Every line is curved, and everything flows
into everything else, creating a unified, organic, ultra-
futuristic whole.
Camilla is stroking the koala cub’s soft fur.
CAMILLA
(dreamily)
I think I’ll name you Fluffy...
Above Zandor an oval screen about four feet wide shows the
U.N. Building below growing smaller and smaller. Zandor is
manipulating the controls.
ZANDOR
The mothership is expecting us. To
save time we’ll use the dimensional
bypass drive.
DR. ROSSITER
(sits up)
Very good.
DESMOND
(also sits up)
Dimensional bypass drive?
34.
ZANDOR
Yes, it allows us to bypass the
space-time continuum. It’s fairly
simple, really. In essence, the
drive consists of a conventional
propulsion system, a sort of time
machine, and a pair of tandem
paradox inverters.
DESMOND
Wha-a-at...
ZANDOR
I shall attempt to explain. Think
of a trip which would require, say,
two hundred years of travel using a
conventional slower-than-light
propulsion system. The conventional
drive would carry you forward for
two hundred years, while the time
machine would compensate by taking
you backwards in time for two
hundred years, so that in effect no
time at all would have elapsed.
Essentially you would have
sidestepped the space-time
continuum.
CAMILLA
But if you went back in time two
hundred years you’d be right back
where you started, wouldn’t you?
ZANDOR
Not at all. There is a paradox
involved. Since everything in the
universe is in constant motion,
where you were two hundred years
earlier would have moved, so that
when you attempt to go back to it,
it would, of course, be somewhere
else by then. So the idea becomes
to plot a course that ends up
taking you “back” to the precise
spot that you wish to reach.
CAMILLA
(a bit uncertainly)
Oh...
DR. ROSSITER
The paradox inverters act as chaos
filters. They literally protect the
fabric of time and space.
DESMOND
Amazing!
35.
Zandor nods his head gravely.
DR. ROSSITER
In terms of functionality, the
drive is identical to the
“hyperdrive” of science fiction.
DESMOND
Are there ever any ill effects from
using it?
ZANDOR
It is perfectly safe. Observe --
except for a recurring sense of
deja vu and some curious visual
effects, you will experience
nothing out of the ordinary...
Zandor pushes a large red button, and everything begins to

spin and leave brightly colored afterimages which merge
into spiraling trails of colored light.
ZANDOR (V.O.)
(his voice echoing)
The spiraling light spins faster and faster, becoming a

whirling energy vortex. It turns in on itself and comes
out the other end, then slowly dissipates.
A gigantic mothership hangs in the sky against a starry

backdrop. Suddenly a flying saucer winks into being in
front of it, and a gaping maw irises open in the
mothership. The saucer glides forward through it into the
interior of the mothership.
EXT. LANCE’S BARN (NEAR WEAVERVILLE, CALIFORNIA) - NIGHT
An almost full moon peers down through a cover of wispy

clouds at Butch’s battered old Ford pickup rolling up to
Lance’s barn. The barn door is partly open, and white light
with a pale yellowish cast spills out. Butch parks
alongside more than a dozen cars and trucks, and goes in.
INT. LANCE’S BARN - NIGHT
Maybe twenty-five or thirty people, mostly men, are

sitting on folding chairs and bales of hay. Many of them
are drinking beer. A meeting of some sort is underway.
36.
Butch enters, sees Cooter and Roger and Little Willie, and
finds a seat next to them.
LANCE is standing at a microphone in front of the rest of

the group. Behind him on the wall is a thirteen star Betsy
Ross flag. Lance is about fifty, trim, and looks a little
mean. He is wearing khaki trousers, a white polo shirt and
gold wire-rim glasses. His lips are very thin. Most
everybody else is wearing jeans or camo. Little Willie is
wearing bib overalls.
LANCE
... to decide what we’re gonna do.
Roger, you want to get up here and
tell folks what your wife’s -- was
that her cousin’s husband -- said?
Roger gets up and walks to the mike.
LANCE
Just tell them what you told me.
ROGER
(taking microphone)
Right. Anyway, he’s over at Groom
Lake, in Nevada... that’s where
they test all kinds of aircraft,
and people keep saying they see
UFOs and other weird stuff...
Anyway, he says the word is this
Zandor character is something they
cooked up as a pretext to declare
all out martial law, maybe as soon
as tomorrow.
(pause)
He’s been reliable in the past. He
says they’re gonna be arresting
millions of people and shipping
them to those FEMA centers they
been setting up. And they’re gonna be
getting help from Mexican, Canadian
and Chinese troops wearing baby
blue helmets. And maybe some
Russians too. That’s all I know.
Roger puts back the microphone and goes back to his seat.
Lance takes over the mike. LOUELLA, a small woman with a
big hairdo, puts her hand up.
LANCE
What is it, Louella?
LOUELLA
What about that flying saucer they
showed on TV? Are they gonna come
after us in flying saucers?
37.
LANCE
Didn’t you hear Roger? It’s a fake.
That thing’s just as phony as the
Moon landing. It’s probably a
weather balloon or something, all
jazzed up with digital effects like
they use for movies.
LOUELLA
I don’t know, that flying saucer
looked awful real to me.
LANCE
I wouldn’t worry about it none,
Louella. It’s all just a show. See,
the bankers and the Masons and the
so-called elite -- the New World
Order -- they control the media,
and they use all that smoke and
mirrors and stuff to try to control
us...
JIMBO, a large, florid man in his early forties, jumps to

his feet.
JIMBO
(almost yelling)
It ain’t the Masons behind the New
World Order! It’s the Jews!
COOTER
(from his seat)
Wrong. It’s the Catholics. The
Jesuits run everything. The head
Jesuit’s called the Black Pope, and
he’s the one with all the power.
LANCE
Now just hold on. It don’t matter
if it’s the Jews, the Masons, the
Catholics or the League of Women
Voters behind the New World Order,
we still gotta decide how we’re
gonna respond to this martial law
business. Anybody got any ideas?
JIMBO
(raising his hand)
I got one!
LANCE
Whaddaya got, Jimbo?
JIMBO
I got me one o’ them strategic
ideas. It’s your basic two-pronged
attack, based on the theory that
the best defense is a good offense.
38.
LANCE
We’re all ears, Jimbo.
JIMBO
Well, I figure first of all this’d
be a good time for the Weaverville
Air Force to show its stuff.
LANCE
Jimbo, the Weaverville Air Force
consists of exactly one antique
cropduster. It’s a biplane.
JIMBO
It can take out a friggin’ weather
balloon any day of the week,
altitude permittin’, of course.
That’s what you said it was, didn’t
you -- a weather balloon all
gussied up with digital effects?
LANCE
Well, yeah...
JIMBO
And it’s my cropduster, and my butt!
HARLAN, thirty, baby faced, overweight, jumps to his feet

and knocks his chair over.
HARLAN
I’ll go with you!
JIMBO
Thanks, Man.
Harlan picks up his chair and sets it back up, then lowers
his behind onto it. The chair collapses under him.
LANCE
Okay, Jimbo. You was sayin’
somethin’ about a two-pronged
attack?
JIMBO
Yes sir. The cropduster, I mean the
Air Force, attackin’ that weather
balloon, that’d be the one prong.
The second one wouldn’t really be a
prong, though -- I mean, like a
pair of pincers or nuthin’. It’s
just a figure of speech. But the
second part would be to secure our
perimeter.
Harlan has succeeded in setting the chair up again. He

tests it, then sits in it gingerly. It holds.
39.
JIMBO
I figure we could dynamite Highway
299 at each end of town and seal it
off... maybe bring in a couple of
backhoes and dig us some tank traps
while we’re at it... station a few of
the boys at the roadblocks with
machine guns an’ explosives... an’
Ernie’s rocket launcher... Hell,
them Feds’d think twice before
messin’ with us!
Rebel yells and piercing whistles echo through the barn as

folks hoot and holler in agreement.
Roger strides up to the front of the room.
ROGER
You mind if I say a few words,
Lance?
LANCE
Help yourself, if you can get
anyone to listen.
Roger removes the microphone from the stand and paces back
and forth holding it until the commotion subsides.
ROGER
Okay. Now then, ain’t nobody here
hates the Feds or the U.N. more ‘n
I do, and every man here knows I’ve
never run away from a fight in my
life.
(pauses)
But I try to pick my fights. I
mean, sure, sometimes you just
don’t have a choice, but when you
do...
A SCRAWNY GUY with bad teeth yells from the back of the
room.
SCRAWNY GUY
...you hand them their heads back
on a stick!
More howling and carrying on by the assembled townspeople.

Roger once again has to wait for them to quiet down.
ROGER
As I was saying... I mean, as I was
trying to say... there are times
when it’s just a bad idea to pick a
fight, and I think this is one of
them.
40.
HARLAN
So what are you gonna do? Wait till
they round us all up and put us in
concentration camps like Hitler and
Stalin done, and then wish you’d a
done something to try and stop ‘em
when you still had the chance?
ROGER
Use your head, Man! We’re up
against superior firepower. There’s
no way we could go head to head
with them with what we’ve got! The
last thing in the world we want to
do is provoke them and call
attention to ourselves. It’d be
suicide. You ask me, we need to
head back into the hills, way back,
and fight harassing guerrilla-type
actions. On our terms.
Jimbo starts flapping away like a chicken.
JIMBO
Braaak! Buck! Buck! Buck! Braaak!
Chick-ken!!
Others quickly join in, and form a chorus of chicken

calls. Roger hands the microphone back to Lance and walks
out the barn door.
INT. FLYING SAUCER/CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT
Fluffy the koala cub looks from side to side, then jumps
from Camilla’s lap onto the floor. Camilla begins to climb
out after him, but Zandor reaches the baby koala first and
scoops it up in his arms.
ZANDOR
We have landed. I suggest you all
recline in your eggs for a few more
minutes, and become accustomed to
the new time-space continuum.
CAMILLA
(holding out her
arms)
May I please hold Fluffy again?
ZANDOR
I will return him to you shortly,
but I must first check in with
Central Control, and after that I
am required to leave Fluffy with an
alien life form specialist for a
brief but thorough health
screening. It is solely a
precautionary measure, of course.
41.
CAMILLA
Oh... okay.
ZANDOR
(strolling towards
exit, which slides
open for him)
I’ll be back quite soon. In the
meantime, I suggest you just relax,
perhaps meditate on your oneness
with the Cosmos. May peace be
yours, my friends.
He leaves, and the opening slides shut behind him.
INT. FLYING SAUCER/PASSAGEWAY
Cradling Fluffy in his arms, Zandor slinks down an

arterial corridor. He stops at an oddly shaped prominence
rising from the floor and sits on it, then lifts the
little koala into the air by the back of its neck.
Zandor tilts his head back. Fluffy whimpers and then

shrieks with terror as Zandor slowly lowers him toward his
upturned, unhinged jaws as they stretch ever wider apart.
EXT. ROGER’S CABIN (NEAR WEAVERVILLE) - DAY
Roger’s Jeep pulls up in front of his log cabin overlooking

the Trinity River. It is small and tidy, with a colorful
flower garden and neatly stacked firewood. Roger parks and
gets out, and goes into the house. He is carrying a rifle
in a soft camo case, and a gun bag.
INT. ROGER’S CABIN
ROGER
(calls out)
Hi Nancy! I’m back.
There is no reply. He goes through the house looking for

her.
ROGER
Where are you, Angel? Are you home?
Roger finds a note on the kitchen table. He reads it, then

crumples it into a ball. He looks as if a mule had just
kicked him in the stomach.
He walks over to the wood burning stove in the living

room. Squatting down he opens its cast iron door, places
the wadded note on the grate almost gingerly, then
carefully and deliberately sets fire to it.
42.
He watches it burn, and as the flames reach the tight

inner core of the wad he pokes and prods it with his bare
fingertip until the last bit of paper is reduced to ash.
He stares at the ashes, then stands up again.
He goes to a cabinet and removes an unopened bottle of

Wild Turkey and a coffee cup. He cracks the seal on the
bottle, fills to cup to about half an inch from the top,
and carries the bottle and cup out to the front yard.
EXT. ROGER’S CABIN
Roger pulls the axe out of the oak round he uses for a
chopping block, and leans it up against the stacked
cordwood. Then he sits on the oak round and drains the cup
of whiskey. He refills the cup.
The sun is high, burning brightly in a cloudless sky. Two

turkey vultures circle lazily overhead.
Roger empties the second cup and hurls it against a

boulder in the front yard. It shatters violently. He puts
the bottle to his lips and upends it.
The sun traces spinning circles in the sky.
Roger stands up on very wobbly legs, throws the empty

whiskey bottle through his front window, picks up his axe,
and heads back into the cabin.
INT. ROGER’S CABIN
Staggering through the house sobbing and roaring, Roger

does an astonishing amount of damage with his axe.
Finally, after demolishing an antique grandfather clock,
he falls to his knees and vomits. The room begins to spin.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. ROGER’S CABIN - NIGHT
Roger is lying unconscious on the floor. Moonlight is

spilling in through the shattered window.
He groans and stirs a little, then clumsily gets up. He is

covered in his own vomit. He lurches into the bathroom.
INT. ROGER’S CABIN/KITCHEN
Roger enters the kitchen in clean clothes, drying his hair

with a towel. He still looks pretty shaky.
The kitchen is a shambles. He roots around in the fridge

and finds a piece of cold chicken.
43.
Gnawing on the chicken, Roger digs through the rubble on

the kitchen counter and finds the cordless telephone. He
bites off the last piece of chicken and flings the bone
onto a pile of smashed crockery.
ROGER
(mumbling to himself)
Okay. It’s only a little past
eleven in Nevada. Josie won’t like
me calling this late, but Ed’ll
still be up.
He heads outside with the phone, dialing Ed’s number.
EXT. ROGER’S CABIN - NIGHT
Roger sits on the oak round, phone to ear.
JOSIE (V.O.)
(recording on answering
machine, filtered)
Hi! You’ve reached Josie and Ed
Gilmore. We’re sorry we can’t come
to the phone right now...
(picks up phone)
Yes? Who is it?
ROGER
Hi Josie. Sorry to be bothering you
so late...
JOSIE (V.O.)
(over phone, filtered)
Oh, it’s you. Ed’s getting ready for
bed, but he’s still up. Let me get
him for you.
ROGER
Thanks.
We hear the sound of JOSIE and ED arguing o.s. in the

b.g., but not the individual words. Finally Ed picks up.
ED (V.O.)
Hey there Roger, how’s it goin’?
ROGER
Hi Ed. Listen, if this is a bad
time to call...
ED (V.O.)
Naw, it’s fine. I’m always up until
at least midnight. Josie gets after
me to turn in earlier, but you know
how it is.
44.
ROGER
Yeah.
There is silence on both ends of the line.
ED (V.O.)
You okay?
ROGER
I’ve been better. Look, ah, Nancy’s
run off to L.A. with that slimeball
yoga teacher of hers...
ED (V.O.)
Oh man.
ROGER
Yeah. I got back from the range and
the house was empty. She left a
note. She also emptied out the bank
account. And took Buffy.
An owl perched above Roger in a huge old oak tree hoots.
ED (V.O.)
She took your dog too? That’s cold.
ROGER
I had her since she was a puppy.
(stifles a sob)
She used to be so little you could
carry her around in a shoe box.
There’s a moment of silence.
ED (V.O.)
You need a few bucks?
ROGER
Naw, Man, I’m okay. I got some gold
and silver coins, and some Federal
Reserve notes.
(beat)
Matter of fact, I’m in great shape.
My biggest problem just walked out
the door. I’m a free man.
ED (V.O.)
Hey Buddy, I’ll drink to that.
(guzzles some beer)
More silence on both ends of the line.

45.
ROGER
You got anything new on that UFO
scam?
ED (V.O.)
You mean the Zandor thing?
ROGER
Yeah.
ED (V.O.)
Okay, this is the deal. They’re
gonna be detonating underground
nukes all over the place to fake
earthquakes. Everybody’s gonna get
scared and run off to get beamed up
by the flying saucers, but instead
they’ll find troops waiting for
them. Hello FEMA camp.
ROGER
That’s evil.
ED (V.O.)
You got it.
ROGER
So what are you going to do?
ED (V.O.)
Well, I’m afraid I can’t discuss
that even with you, Good Buddy.
The owl launches itself forward and buzzes Roger’s head

before disappearing into the darkness. Roger ignores it.
ROGER
You got a bolt hole?
ED (V.O.)
Could be. Limited seating, though,
if you get my drift.
ROGER
Don’t worry -- I make my own way.
ED (V.O.)
Got any plans yet?
ROGER
Got a couple of ideas. Wanted to
ask you something, though.
46.
ED (V.O.)
Shoot.
ROGER
Those caves under Mount Shasta. You
haven’t heard of any covert ops
there or anything?
ED (V.O.)
Nothin’ since that Cold War stuff
back in the ‘50s.
Josie is yelling in the b.g. on Ed’s end.
ROGER
Just wondering. Well, thanks a lot,
Ed. I gotta get going. It’s getting
late.
ED (V.O.)
Yeah, well, you hang in there,
okay? Any woman’s gonna treat you
like that, you’re better off
without her, you know what I mean?
You just hang in there.
ROGER
Thanks Man. I’ll catch you later.
ED (V.O.)
Take it easy.
INT. MOTHERSHIP - NIGHT
Desmond and Camilla are sitting at a sort of table,

drinking an electric blue beverage. Clouds of glowing fog
rise from their glasses. Before them is an immense oval
porthole the size of four football fields, opening onto a
vast stellar panorama. They gaze in awe into the splendor
of the heavens.
Small groups of Pleiadians, the men exact duplicates of

Zandor in appearance, the women identical statuesque seven
foot tall blondes, stroll past or are seated nearby.
Desmond turns his gaze to Camilla.
DESMOND
This is all so... fantastic.
CAMILLA
Really. It’s totally amazing.
(MORE)
47.
CAMILLA (CONT’D)
Who’d have thought?
(holds up her glass)
What do they call this stuff,
anyway?
DESMOND
“Pahoonga.”
CAMILLA
Right, pahoonga.
(takes a sip,
laughs)
It tickles...
(pause)
So listen, do you think Zandor
likes me?
DESMOND
You’re asking me? How should I
know?
CAMILLA
Well, you’re a guy.
DESMOND
I have no idea what goes on in
Zandor’s head. For all I know he
likes goats.
CAMILLA
What an awful thing to say!
DESMOND
I suppose it is.
(pauses)
But you know, there’s something
creepy about the guy. I don’t
really trust him.
CAMILLA
Of course you don’t trust him!
Materialists are always threatened
by spirituality.
DESMOND
I am not a materialist. And for
your information, Zandor wouldn’t
recognize spirituality if it bit
him on the rear end.
CAMILLA
That’s ridiculous. Zandor’s the most
spiritual person I’ve ever met!
DESMOND
Zandor’s religion is self-worship.
I’d call that a spiritual disorder.
48.
CAMILLA
And what gives you the right to sit
in judgment of other people’s
beliefs?
DESMOND
Two things -- the fact that some
beliefs are patently absurd, and
the fact that I’m capable of
rational thought.
CAMILLA
You are, like, so right brain!
DESMOND
I think you mean left brain.
CAMILLA
Whatever. You think you’re so
smart, but the mind is limited, and
can’t grasp the infinite!
DESMOND
Well, yours apparently can’t even
grasp the obvious.
Camilla stands up abruptly, spilling her drink.
CAMILLA
You jerk!
She slams her glass down, turns on her heel, and hurries
away. She looks quite upset.
EXT. HIGHWAY ONE NORTH OF BIG SUR - DAY
A southbound white Volvo station wagon is carefully

negotiating the curves above the ocean. Overhead the sun
is setting, painting both sky and ocean with a vivid
palette.
INT. VOLVO - DAY - TRAVELING
Inside the Volvo a CD of sitar music is playing. NANCY is

riding shotgun, and MAYANANDA, Nancy’s slimeball yoga
teacher, is driving. Nancy is thirty-five and attractive,
with blonde hair and blue eyes. Mayananda is twenty-seven
and has long hair, skin that glows, and perfect teeth.
Riding in the back seat is BUFFY, a large black Labrador

Retriever.
NANCY
You know, a sunset like this would
be wasted on Roger.
(MORE)
49.
NANCY (CONT’D)
All he ever thinks about is crazy
conspiracies and stuff like that.
Would you believe it, he brought
guns with him on our honeymoon in
case the Feds tried to SWAT team us
or something? And he stayed up half
our wedding night cleaning and
oiling them!
MAYANANDA
Unbelievable. And you so young and
beautiful...
NANCY
Do you have any idea what it feels
like to play second fiddle to an
assault rifle on your honeymoon?
MAYANANDA
It must have been terribly
humiliating, especially for a
sensitive soul like yours.
NANCY
(starts to cry)
It was terrible.
The car overtakes a pair of Spandex-clad bicyclists, and

Buffy erupts into a loud barking frenzy, slavering and
clawing furiously at the window.
MAYANANDA
Stop him! He’s ruining the car!
NANCY
She’s a she.
(to Buffy)
Down Buffy! Down! Down down...
Buffy stops barking once the bicyclists are out of sight.

She curls up on the back seat and chews on her behind.
NANCY
Stop that, Buffy!
MAYANANDA
Buffy’s behavior proves the Law of
Karma -- you see what happens to
people who eat meat. They end up
reincarnating as dumb carniverous
beasts.
NANCY
Don’t you dare call Buffy dumb!
You’ll hurt her feelings.
50.
MAYANANDA
My apologies. Buffy.
EXT. HIGHWAY ONE NEAR BIG SUR - NIGHT
The Volvo wends its way south on Highway One through the
night to a bed and breakfast called the Mermaid’s Arms.
They pull up at the office and park.
INT. VOLVO - NIGHT
MAYANANDA
(turning off the
engine)
Would you like to come with me or
wait here?
NANCY
I’ll go with you. I need to stretch
my legs.
They slip out of the car, barely keeping Buffy from

escaping.
EXT./INT. MERMAID’S ARMS/OFFICE - NIGHT
They walk to the office and enter it, Mayananda opening

the door for Nancy.
Inside it is rustic and charming. The proprietress, MRS.

ROSS, a sweet grandmotherly type, is at the desk.
MRS. ROSS
Good evening.
MAYANANDA
Hi! We have a reservation --
Robertson, party of two. Paid in
advance.
MRS. ROSS
(looks on computer
screen)
Yes, there you are. I’ve put you in
number six. It has a beautiful view
of the ocean.
(hands him a
registration card)
Isn’t it horrible about the
earthquakes?
NANCY
Earthquakes?
51.
MRS. ROSS
You haven’t heard? Of course --
you’ve been traveling all day.
(to Mayananda)
I just need your name and address
and your car’s license plate
number.
(back to Nancy)
Well, it’s been all over the news,
my dear. It’s simply horrible.
There have been dozens of
earthquakes all over the world
today, really big ones. There was
one in India they’re saying killed
over half a million people.
MAYANANDA
(alarmed)
Where in India?
MRS. ROSS
Oh dear, let me see. I believe they
said it was near Calcutta. Or was
it Bombay? No, it was Calcutta, I
remember now. I’m sure that’s what
they said. Calcutta.
MAYANANDA
That’s where my spiritual master
lives!
MRS. ROSS
Oh, I’m so sorry. What was, I
mean is, his name?
MRS. ROSS
Shree Shree Mahavatara Mayavadaji.
Nancy wanders over to a corner where there’s a television

on, the volume very low. She begins to watch.
MAYANANDA
(filling out card)
He only had thirty-two yogic powers
when he incarnated as Jesus, but
this time he has all one hundred
and eight.
(hands her the card)
MRS. ROSS
Well, he should be fine then. May I
please see your driver’s license?
NANCY
(watching the TV)
Oh no!
52.
MAYANANDA
What is it?
NANCY
There were a bunch of quakes up in
the Bay Area just a few minutes
ago. San Francisco and San Jose got
slammed. They’re saying it was
really bad, particularly San
Francisco. A lot of people dead.
MAYANANDA
That’s it, then. It’s the beginning
of the paradigm shift. The
Pleiadian was right. We’ll have to
leave at four in the morning if we
want to get to Mt. Wilson on time.
MRS. ROSS
Oh... you’re going down to Mt.
Wilson? I don’t suppose you’d have
room for one more? I can pay.
MAYANANDA
What did you have in mind?
MRS. ROSS
I don’t know... fifty dollars?
(beat)
A hundred?
MAYANANDA
(magnanimously)
No problem. You’ll have to share
the back seat with a dog, though,
and you can only take one suitcase.
Are you okay with that?
MRS. ROSS
That’ll be fine.
MAYANANDA
We’ll start packing the car around
three-thirty. We have to be on the
road by four at the latest, so we
can’t wait if you’re late.
MRS. ROSS
I understand.
(handing him a key)
Here’s your key. Just go out the
door and turn right, and follow the
driveway to number six. It’ll be on
your right. You can’t miss it.
MAYANANDA
Thanks.
53.
NANCY
See you in the morning!
MRS. ROSS
See you then. Good night.
Nancy and Mayananda exit the room.
EXT. THE MERMAID’S ARMS/OFFICE - NIGHT
Leaving the office, they walk back to the Volvo. Buffy is

very excited to see them, and bounces up and down wildly.
As Mayananda opens the car door Buffy lunges forward and

explodes past him into the parking lot, across it, and off
into the night.
NANCY
(taking off after
the dog)
Buffy! Come back! Bu-u-f-f-f-y!
Mayananda takes off after Nancy.
EXT. THE MERMAID’S ARMS/CABIN SIX - NIGHT
The white Volvo is parked in front of number six, a tiny

log cabin nestled in a sylvan wonderland high atop a
dramatic highland.
In the distance, seals bark and waves break beneath the

full Moon.
Nancy and Mayananda, dirty, scratched, clothes torn,

stumble out of the woods and up the path toward the cabin.
MAYANANDA
Don’t worry, she’ll come back when
she feels like it. She won’t have any
trouble finding us.
NANCY
But she’s never even seen this
cabin...
MAYANANDA
But she knows the car. And you can
always leave something with your
smell on it outside the front door.
(unlocks door and
opens it)
Come inside. What you need is a nice
tantric massage...
They go in, and the door closes behind them.

54.
The moon is very large and full. In the distance, a saucer

flies across its face. Beams of red light shoot out from
it periodically, striking the ground. The saucer draws
closer, and hovers overhead. A red beam shines down.
Abruptly, the ground begins to shake with great intensity,

flattening the cabin with explosive force. With a grinding
roar the ground splits apart, and the Volvo and the cabin’s
remains are swallowed up.
EXT. ANGELES CREST HIGHWAY - DAY - ESTABLISHING
The traffic heading towards Mt. Wilson is stalled at least

as far back as Glendale, and conceivably all the way to
Tiajuana. Not a car is moving.
INT. BECKY’S CAR (ON ANGELES CREST) - DAY
Becky is at the wheel and Emily is sitting next to her.

The car is standing still with the engine turned off and
the windows rolled down. Becky takes a swallow from a
bottle of spring water.
BECKY
I can’t believe I let you talk me
into coming up here.
EMILY
Oh right, it’s all my fault. I made
you come.
BECKY
Okay, okay -- you’re right. It was
my decision. I only have my own
spinelessness and stupidity to
blame.
EMILY
Thank you.
BECKY
But now that I’ve seen the error of
my ways, I’m going to turn this car
around and head back to Santa
Monica while the downhill lanes are
still open.
EMILY
Don’t you dare!
BECKY
What are you talking about? We’re
not going anywhere.
(MORE)
55.
BECKY (CONT’D)
We haven’t moved in over an hour...
and cars are starting to use the
southbound lanes to head up the
mountain! If we don’t leave now,
we’re going to be stuck here till
next spring.
EMILY
(opening car door)
If you turn this car around, I’m
getting out and walking.
BECKY
Don’t be a fool!
EMILY
I’m a fool? You’re the one who wants
to stay and get killed in the earth
changes!
Emily grabs her backpack and gets out of the car. Becky
removes the keys from the ignition, and jumps out onto the
Angeles Crest Highway after her.
BECKY
For God’s sake, Emily, you have no
idea what it’s like! They do things
to you...
At that moment Bobby Fletcher, green dreadlocks flowing

from beneath his helmet, cruises up on his bike between
the lanes of stalled cars. He comes to a stop in front of
them, takes off his helmet, and smiles winningly.
BOBBY
Hi! I don’t mean to barge in, but I
thought you might like to know that
there’s a bunch of motorcycle cops
heading up the hill just behind me,
and it looks like they might be
getting ready to seal off the road
to Mt. Wilson. I’m going in ahead
of them, and I have room for one
more. Either of you like to come?
The girls glance at each other.
EMILY
I’d love a ride.
BOBBY
(putting helmet back
on)
Hop on.
Becky and Emily hug.

56.
BECKY
You be careful!
EMILY
(laughing and wiping
away a tear)
Yes, Mother.
The wail of sirens can be heard in the distance. Bobby

revs his engine.
BOBBY
We have to go now.
EMILY
I’m ready.
Emily slings on her backpack and hops on the bike behind

Bobby. She tries to call out a farewell to Becky, but her
voice is drowned by the squeal of rubber and the roar of
his engine as Bobby pops the clutch and shoots off,
heading north along the empty soundbound lanes.
BECKY
(waving sadly)
Good luck...
As Becky stares off in the direction they’d gone, the sound

of police sirens gets louder, and then a stream of
policemen mounted on motorcycles roars past.
INT. MOTHERSHIP - NIGHT
Zandor walks up to Desmond, who is sitting alone in front

of the gigantic porthole, staring out at the stars.
ZANDOR
How are you enjoying your stay? Are
your sleeping quarters comfortable?
DESMOND
Yes, very nice thank you. In fact,
I’m just getting ready to turn in.
ZANDOR
In that case, please, do not let me
keep you any longer. Indeed, I too
must retire for the evening. Rest
well my friend.
(bows gravely)
May peace be yours.
DESMOND
Ahhh... good night.
Zandor leaves, walking off across the deck to a corridor

which heads deeper into the mothership.
57.
He walks along the corridor to an airlock which opens

before him. He goes through, and it closes behind him.
On the other side the airlock Zandor undergoes an

astonishing metamorphosis. As he sighs in relief, his
humanoid form collapses into a quivering pool of slime. A
large bubble rises to the surface and bursts, and then a
hideous creature which might have sprung from the brow of
Hieronymous Bosch emerges, a nightmare melding of
reptilian, insectoid and cephalopod natures.
With a sucking, squelching sound Zandor slimes his way to

a small flying saucer parked nearby, opens the access port
with a tentacle, and slithers inside.
INT./EXT. FIGHTER SAUCER - NIGHT
Zandor inserts himself into the pilot’s seat, turns on the

viewscreen, and fires up the controls.
The saucer taxis down a tubular runway, gathers momentum,

and shoots out into space like a torpedo.
The mothership hangs suspended in space, hidden from Earth

behind the Moon. The fighter saucer emerges from it and
rounds the Moon.
INT./EXT. FIGHTER SAUCER - NIGHT
The viewscreen shows Lake Mead below the saucer. The

flying disc swoops down and positions itself in front of
the dam. Zandor activates the targeting crosshairs on the
viewscreen and positions the base of Hoover Dam squarely
in the center. Placing a hideous claw on on the sleek
trigger grip, he squeezes.
The ground shakes and Hoover Dam disintegrates, releasing

the entire contents of Lake Mead in an awesome display of
raw force.
Zandor, visibly quivering, lets out a triumphant shriek.
He watches a while longer, then takes off straight up,

shooting towards outer space.
EXT. THE PENTAGON - DAY - ESTABLISHING
It is a beautiful day in Washington, and the streets

around the Pentagon are teeming with midday traffic.
INT. A CONFERENCE ROOM IN THE PENTAGON - DAY
DR. INGA SVENSEN, renowned geophysicist and blonde

bombshell, is standing before a table at which are seated
SAMUEL ADAM WEISHAUPT, President of the United States;
PENELOPE LAKE, Presidential Aide and Girl Friday; GENERAL
TYBURN “OLD CANNONBALLS” HALFMAST, head of the Joint Chiefs
of Staff; Benjamin “Sharkey” Saxon, Chairman of the Federal
Reserve Bank; and LT. COL. WILLARD WEDGEWELL, head of a
research facility in Area 51. Also present are members of
the intelligence community and assorted other suits and
military uniforms.
There is a large flat screen monitor behind Dr. Svensen

showing a 3D animation of the Earth spinning slowly.
DR. SVENSEN
That’s correct, Mr. President,
there’s no question about it. The
Earth’s rotation is perfectly
normal. What is abnormal, however,
is some seismic data USGS recently
collected. Observe the next image.
A new picture flashes onto the screen, of a mountainous

area. There is a set of bright red concentric circles
superimposed over one of the valleys.
DR. SVENSEN
These concentric rings indicate
pulses of geomagnetic energy
recorded near the epicenter of a
major seismic event yesterday
afternoon in California. As with
all significant seismic incidents
during the past two days for which
we have data, which is all of them,
these pulses occurred less than
half a second before the temblor
struck. We’ve never seen anything
like this energy signature before.
(pauses)
Gentlemen, I find it impossible to
escape the conclusion that these
earthquakes were deliberately
induced by someone with an advanced
technological capability.
A collective gasp goes up from the table. The president

turns to General Halfmast.
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
What do you think, General?
Gen. Halfmast fiddles with his ring, which has Masonic

insignia on it.
59.
GEN. HALFMAST
What we have here, Mr. President,
is an attack on U.S. soil by
hostile aircraft. We’ll have to go
to DEFCON ONE status, of course.
(pauses)
And of course you should declare
martial law immediately. I also
recommend we nuke somebody.
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
(to Penelope)
Write a note reminding me to
declare martial law when we get
back to the White House.
PENELOPE
(scribbling away)
Yes sir.
GEN. HALFMAST
One more thing -- I’d strongly
suggest we bring in some U.N.
Peacekeepers. Some of our boys
don’t like to point weapons at
their own people.
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
Good idea.
GEN. HALFMAST
We need more intel about those damn
Nordic aliens. What do our little
gray friends from Area 51 have to
say about them, Col. Wedgewell?
LT. COL. WEDGEWELL

Begging your pardon, General, but
I’m not cleared to release that
information.
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
I’m giving you clearance now,
Lieutenant Colonel.
LT. COL. WEDGEWELL

Begging your pardon, Mr.
President...
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
Lieutenant Colonel, as your
Commander-in-Chief I hereby order
you to answer the general’s
question
LT. COL. WEDGEWELL

But Sir -- my implant will go off.
60.
PRESIDENT WEISHAUPT
Your what?
Splattering everyone in the room with gore, Lieutenant

Colonel Wedgewell’s head explodes violently.
INT. JOE AND EMILY’S APARTMENT - DAY
Joe shuffles into the living room yawning. He is barefoot

and wearing jeans and a wifebeater undershirt. He needs a
shave.
He wanders into the kitchen and rummages through the

pantry, eventually finding a can of ravioli. He opens it,
finds a spoon, and carries the can and the spoon back into
the living room.
He lowers himself onto the sofa, picks up the remote, and

turns on the TV. He sits and watches TV, eating cold
ravioli from the can.
The TV is playing the end of a commercial. It shows a car

driving off into a rainy night.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
(on TV)
Recent studies show that Zepherol
slows the reabsorption of critical
neurotransmitters up to twice as
effectively as the three leading
serotonin re-uptake inhibitors.
The shot dissolves to the interior of the same car on a

sunny day. A woman dressed in bright, cheerful colors
waits behind the wheel. The door opens and her husband
gets in. Looking as squirrely as a bagful of bandicoots,
he giggles.
WIFE
(on TV)
What did the doctor say?
HUSBAND
(on TV)
He said my brain chemistry is still
all messed up, but you know what --
now I don’t care anymore!
They both laugh. The NARRATOR continues as children frolic

on a perfectly manicured lawn.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
(on TV)
Ask your doctor if Zepherol is
right for you.
(MORE)
61.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Side effects may include nausea,
diarrhea, boils, running sores,
paralysis, convulsions, blindness,
stroke, and moderate to severe
death. Do not take if...
Bored, Joe flips through the channels.
A huge earthquake rocks the building. The wall to the

outside is ripped open, providing a direct view of the
Pacific Ocean. Furniture is overturned, and Joe is flung
onto the floor.
As the shaking continues, the electricity goes out, comes

back on for a few seconds, then goes out again.
The shaking stops. Joe gets to his feet. He stares out

through the jagged hole in the wall at the ocean.
The lights come back on. Joe turns the TV back on and sits
back down on the couch. He puts on News Channel 99, and
Brenda Whittaker’s flawless face graces the screen. She is
live on location. Looming behind her is earthquake damaged
Mount Wilson Observatory, its classic dome half collapsed.
Joe leans forward a little, leering.
BRENDA
(on TV)
The scene here on Mt. Wilson is
tense today, in marked contrast to
the festival atmosphere two days
ago. Police earlier today cordoned
off a sometimes rowdy crowd of
about ten to fifteen thousand
people who were waiting here for
the flying saucers, and there have
been scores of arrests.
A milling sea of people are pushing and shoving against

against each other and against a line of heavily armed
police in riot gear and gas masks. Outside the police
line, yet more people are trying to push their way in.
BRENDA
(on TV)
Police haven’t released any official
figures yet, but in the past hour I
counted approximately fifty people
being led away to buses in
handcuffs.
EXT. MOUNT WILSON - DAY
Heavily armored police fire tear gas cannisters at a group

trying to force its way in.
62.
The attackers retreat, then stop, pick up rocks, and throw

them at the police. Some of the stones overshoot their
mark, hitting people inside the line, a few of whom throw
rocks and other objects back. The police begin firing tear
gas grenades in both directions.
BRENDA
(into microphone)
According to spaceman Zandor’s
schedule...
(coughs and gasps
for breath)
... excuse me... the flying saucers
should...
(coughs again)
... get here soon...
Ted, Brenda’s studio cameraman, pours water from a canteen

onto a bandana and puts it over Brenda’s mouth and nose.
She holds it in place, and coughing and gasping they both
run toward fresh air along with everyone near them.
Joe watches the unfolding events with rapt attention. He

sees Emily riding on the back of a motorcycle with a guy
with bright green hair. They are outside of the police
cordon, and riding around aimlessly in circles. Joe hoots
derisively and bounces up and down on the sofa.
EXT. MOUNT WILSON - DAY
The situation on Mt. Wilson is getting out of hand. No one

can cross the police line in either direction, and the
harder they try, the more violent the police become.
The line is almost breached in one spot, and bursts of

machine gun fire ring out. People fall to the ground;
others scream and try to run away from the police.
Suddenly the saucer appears. It is huge. A roar goes up

from the crowd.
Brenda fumbles in her purse and pulls out Oscar’s gizmo, a

small digital palmcorder taped and hardwired to a souped
up cell phone with a multi-element antenna protruding from
it. She pushes it into Ted’s hands.
BRENDA
(still gasping)
Get ready to make history. Doug has
the receiver patched into the
switcher on the truck. When you’re
ready to transmit just dial 99 and
hit the send button.
(MORE)
63.
BRENDA (CONT’D)
There’s enough juice for about
twenty minutes of airtime.
TED
(examining gizmo)
Looks pretty straightforward.
An aperture half the size of a football field irises open

in the center of the saucer’s underside, and a beam of blue
light shoots out. It plays across the crowd in a wide
swath, beaming up over a thousand people in one pass,
including more than a few police.
Ted throws his arms around Brenda as the ray approaches,

and then they too are lifted up into the air.
TED
Hold tight and don’t look down!
They are pulled through the aperture, and land softly on

their feet in a large circular antechamber along with
hundreds of other people. Dozens of tunic-clad, stately
clones of Zandor and of the the Pleiadian women aboard the
mothership greet the Earthlings and shepherd them in a
continuous stream through a graceful archway into the
interior of the ship.
MALE PLEIADIAN #1 approaches a policeman who is carrying

an MP5 and waves a light scepter at it.
MALE PLEIADIAN #1
Forgive me, Sir, but weapons are
not permitted here.
The machine gun glows bright orange for a second and then
vanishes into nothingness.
MALE PLEIADIAN #1
This way please.
Dazed, the policeman moves along with the others. Behind

him, Moonraven struggles with Sierra, who is trying to
pull away. He bites her hand and escapes, running smack
into MALE PLEIADIAN #2.
MOONRAVEN
(to Male Pleiadian
#2)
Oh I’m so sorry!
Male Pleiadian #2 picks up Sierra and returns him, kicking

and spitting, to Moonraven.
MALE PLEIADIAN #2
Think nothing of it.
64.
Brenda releases her grasp on Ted and produces a mirror.

Gazing into it, she smooths out an already perfect bit of
lipstick with the ball of her little finger.
BRENDA
(to Ted)
You got that thing ready?
Ted looks at her through the viewfinder, twiddles with the

lens, pokes a couple of buttons, and nods.
TED
Ninety-nine, right?
BRENDA
Ninety-nine and then hit the green
button.
TED
Got it. After you, my dear.
Brenda takes a few steps back from the camera and poses in
front of the archway, while Ted trains the lens on her.
BRENDA
Ready?
Ted nods and holds up three fingers, then two, then one,
then points at her.
BRENDA
This is Brenda Whittaker,
broadcasting live from inside a
Pleiadian spacecraft, high above
Mt. Wilson. We were beamed aboard
just minutes ago, along with all
the people you see here around us.
More are arriving every second...
EXT. BIPLANE (OVER MT. WILSON) - DAY - TRAVELING
Jimbo pilots his old cropduster, and Harlan sits behind

him. The men are wearing goggles and caps with leather
earflaps. The wind whistles loudly.
HARLAN
That’s one hell of a weather
balloon!
JIMBO
WHAT?
HARLAN
I SAID, THAT’S ONE HELL OF A
WEATHER BALLOON!
65.
JIMBO
ROGER SAYS IT’S ALL DONE WITH
DIGITAL EFFECTS.
HARLAN
THEM’S THE GOD DAMNEDEST DIGITAL
EFFECTS I EVER SEEN!
JIMBO
THEM HOLLYWOOD BOYS ARE GOOD.
The cropduster draws closer to the flying saucer.
JIMBO
YOU GOT OL’ BETSY READY?
HARLAN
(sighting along
barrel of bazooka)
YOU BET!
JIMBO
THEN LET ’ER RIP!
Harlan takes a deep breath and fires, missing the saucer

by a country mile. An instant later the flying saucer
emits a pulsating beam of red light which blasts Harlan,
Jimbo, Betsy, and the little cropduster into subatomic
particles.
Joe is transfixed watching Brenda Whittaker on board the

alien spacecraft. As he watches, a small aftershock
strikes, knocking plaster onto his head. He seems not to
notice it.
On TV, Brenda moves towards an arched opening, along with

a slowly moving herd of fellow evacuees. The shaky
handheld footage on the screen evokes a documentary feel.
BRENDA
(on TV)
We’re now well inside the space
ship. The temperature is very mild,
and the air almost sweet. Compared
to the chaos back on Mt. Wilson,
this place feels like an oasis of
peace and enlightenment.
She comes to the archway, passes through it, and turns to

the left, momentarily disappearing from view. The camera
follows her around the corner, down a corridor, and into a
large room. When Joe sees what’s there, he screams.
66.
In the room are creatures, nightmarish monstrosities with

reptilian claws and fangs, bulbous insectoid eyes,
chitinous segmented limbs, and slithering squidlike
tentacles. And blood, human blood, splattered everywhere.
The creatures are hanging human carcasses on meat hooks

suspended from an overhead conveyor which carries them
away. Joe sees Brenda’s lovely head get lopped from her
exquisite body by one efficient stroke of a sleek, razor
sharp chainsaw-like device. Then the picture tumbles
crazily, and goes black.
Joe vomits up canned ravioli.
Another quake hits, a massive one that cracks the wall

apart like a peanut shell. Sunlight pours in. The
electricity and the TV set stay on, but News Channel 99 is
knocked off the air. Joe flips through half a dozen dead
channels, then finds another news station.
A haggard, WILD-EYED ANNOUNCER, his hair disheveled and

his tie a bit askew, is reading the news. He seems to be
on the verge of panic.
WILD-EYED ANNOUNCER
(on TV)
...estimated at approximately two
and a half million dead. And this
just in. In Los Angeles today,
thousands of people were beamed
aboard a Pleiadian flying saucer,
where apparently they were
butchered like cattle. We’ve just
received tape from inside the
saucer; be forewarned it is very
graphic, and not appropriate for
children. Viewer discretion is
advised.
Joe covers his eyes and screams.
JOE
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
The tape plays through again, and then the station cuts
back to the announcer.
WILD-EYED ANNOUNCER
(on TV)
And from the nation’s capital, more
bad news. President Samuel Adam
Weishaupt has declared martial law
as a result of the current state of
emergency, and has issued a
presidential directive suspending
the Constitution and dissolving
Congress and the Supreme Court.
(MORE)
67.
WILD-EYED ANNOUNCER (CONT’D)

Angry lawmakers met in special
session to protest his decision,
and were arrested by U.N.
Peacekeepers who shot and killed...
Another huge quake hits, collapsing half the wall, and the
electricity goes out again. It does not come back on. Joe
continues to stare at the blank TV screen. Finally he
stands up and shuffles to the door. He tries to open it,
but it’s stuck. He struggles with it a bit, then gives up
and goes out through the opening in the wall.
EXT. VENICE BEACH NEAR JOE AND EMILY’S APARTMENT - DAY
Venice Beach looks as if it has been mercilessly bombed.

Everywhere, apartment buildings and shops are devastated
and the streets are strewn with rubble. Telephone and
power lines are down, and here and there cars lie crushed
beneath fallen chunks of collapsed buildings. There are
people sprawled in the street motionless, many of them
covered in blood. Others are sitting up or crawling; a few
are walking. A woman howls with grief as she holds a
motionless child in her arms, its body limp like a rag
doll.
Joe is clearly in shock. He stumbles toward the beach,

still barefoot. As he approaches the boardwalk he
stretches his arms apart and runs toward the ocean crying.
He reaches the water’s edge and runs in. The waves roll in
and out between his legs as he plants his feet in the
sand. He closes his eyes, and slowly tension drains out of
his face.
A faint sound like a muffled roar off in the distance

gradually becomes louder and louder, and finally so loud
that it is overpowering. Joe opens his eyes and screams,
but his scream is drowned out as a monstrously huge
tsunami slams into Venice Beach, demolishing what’s left of
it.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/ZANDOR’S QUARTERS - NIGHT
Zandor, in his Nordic humanoid form, pours wine for

Camilla. They are seated at an elegantly set dining table.
Camilla is wearing tight black jeans, a white blouse, and
red high heels. She takes a dainty sip of wine.
ZANDOR
Is the vintage to your liking?
CAMILLA
It’s very good, thank you.
68.
She takes another tiny sip, and as she puts the glass down
its bottom strikes the tabletop awkwardly, splashing a few
drops onto the snowy white tablecloth.
CAMILLA
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I’m
just such a klutz!
ZANDOR
Please, please. It is nothing.
CAMILLA
You’re very kind.
ZANDOR
Kindness and compassion are
hallmarks of Pleiadian
spirituality, of course. It is out
of kindness that we have come to
midwife your people through their
paradigm shift, as it were.
CAMILLA
I don’t know what we’d do without
your help.
ZANDOR
Think nothing of it. It is our
function, our reason for being, to
help our less evolved brothers and
sisters along the path.
(takes a sip of wine)
And if you wish, you too could play
a pivotal role in determining the
fate of your people.
CAMILLA
Me?
There is a knock at the door.
ZANDOR
(rises to his feet)
Please excuse me. I gave strict
instructions that we were not to be
disturbed.
Zandor crosses to the door and opens it. RAMTHOR is

standing there, and immediately falls to his knees and
prostrates himself. Like all Pleiadian males in humanoid
form, he is identical in appearance to Zandor.
RAMTHOR
Forgive me, Master, but there is
urgent news.
ZANDOR
Yes?
69.
RAMTHOR
It is extremely sensitive...
Zandor draws his foot back to kick Ramthor in the face,

then stops himself. He turns to Camilla.
ZANDOR
I’m afraid I must leave you for a
moment, my dear. The duties of
leadership can be quite tiresome.
Can you ever forgive me?
CAMILLA
Oh, please, it’s fine. You just do
what you have to.
ZANDOR
I beg of you, please continue
dining without me. I shall return
immediately.
Ramthor crawling backwards before him, Zandor steps out

into the corridor and closes the door behind them.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/CORRIDOR OUTSIDE ZANDOR’S QUARTERS
ZANDOR
What is it, you leprous blot of
regurgitated putrid feces?
RAMTHOR
Please forgive your unworthy slave,
Oh Mighty Light of the Universe,
Beloved of All Galaxies, Lord of...
ZANDOR
(kicking Ramthor in
the face)
Out with it!!
RAMTHOR
Yes Sir. Thank you Sir. A reporter
somehow transmitted pictures of the
harvest aboard a slaughtership to
the Earth news media, Your
Perfection, and the story has been
rebroadcast around their planet.
Zandor snarls and kicks Ramthor in the face again.
RAMTHOR
Thank you, Your Divinity.
ZANDOR
Go.
70.
Ramthor gets up into a half crouch and scurries away

backwards, bowing towards Zandor as he retreats.
Zandor removes a light scepter from his tunic, twists a

knob on it, and holds the device to his ear like a cell
phone.
ZANDOR
(into light scepter)
Supreme Commander Zandor here. This
order is of the highest priority.
It contains four imperatives.
Imperative number one: Immediately

dispatch attack ships armed with
dematerialization rays to destroy
all of Earth’s nuclear warfare
capabilities. Hit all deployment
sites, production facilities,
storage locations -- everything.
Imperative number two: Immediately

apprehend the Earthmen Desmond
Lopez and Eugene Rossiter. Take
them to the thought transfer
chamber and hold them there for me.
Imperative number three: Under no

circumstances am I to be disturbed
for the next six hours. I will
personally dismember and roast
alive anyone who disobeys this
imperative.
Imperative number four: Personnel

are no longer required to maintain
the humanoid form. They may appear
as they do customarily.
Confirm reception.
Zandor listens for the confirmation, then puts away the

scepter and reenters his living quarters.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/ZANDOR’S QUARTERS
Zandor returns to the table and sits back down. Camilla

smiles at him with love-struck cow eyes.
ZANDOR
Please accept my most profound
apologies for the interruption. I
assure you it will not happen
again.
CAMILLA
Oh, it was no problem!
71.
ZANDOR
I must bow before you. I see that
you embody the very harmonies of
the celestial realms.
Camilla giggles.
ZANDOR
Have I embarrassed your sensitive
nature? You must forgive me, and
tell me that you will accept my
offer.
CAMILLA
Your offer?
ZANDOR
You remember that before we were
interrupted, I’d said that if you
wished, you could play a pivotal
role in determining the fate of
your people?
CAMILLA
(in a tiny voice)
Yes... ?
ZANDOR
My dear, you have been chosen for a
most exalted role. It requires only
your willing assent.
CAMILLA
What... what do you want me to do?
ZANDOR
It is just a trifle, and yet quite
significant. You see, the Pleiadian
starseed has become diluted in the
human race, and requires
replenishing. I have chosen you for
the honor of receiving my seed,
thereby reinvigorating the human
gene pool.
CAMILLA
Yuck! You make it sound so clinical
and uninviting.
ZANDOR
Uninviting? No doubt you are making
a humorous anecdote! Breeding is
one of the favorite activities of
all life forms.
72.
CAMILLA
Well, maybe, but a girl doesn’t
want to hear talk about breeding
and gene pools. She wants romance.
She wants to be courted, wooed...
ZANDOR
But I am the romantic! Look -- I
have dim lights and soft music, and
candles, and wine. And flowers!
Surely you must be feeling the urge
to couple by now.
He rises and sidles around the table, then lunges for her.
CAMILLA
(screams)
No!!
She pushes away from the table and jumps backwards, almost
falling as she stumbles in her high heels. She regains her
balance.
ZANDOR
(looking shocked)
No? You are saying no to me, the
great Zandor?
(advances toward
Camilla)
How can that be?
CAMILLA
(backing away)
You stay away from me, you freak!
ZANDOR
(shaking with rage)
Freak? You insolent less than
nobody from a festering,
pestilence-ridden fragment of
worthless space debris! You have no
idea who or what I am! You will pay
for this outrage!!
(steps toward her)
You think me a pathetic, simpering
Pleiadian, a mincing ambassador
from the stars spewing insipid
drivel about spiritual evolution.
You little fool! There hasn’t been
intelligent life anywhere in the
Pleiades for more than two hundred
million years. Or anywhere near
Zeta Reticulus for half a billion.
It is we, the Xorkanoids, who have
been visiting you and living among
you! We can assume any appearance,
and play any role we choose.
(MORE)
73.
ZANDOR (CONT’D)
(takes another step
towards her)
Observe, my tasty little tidbit...
Camilla is backed against the wall. Zandor metamorphoses

into a four foot Gray, and then without warning into the
nightmarish monstrosity which is his native form. Camilla
screams.
Zandor squelches toward her threateningly, stops, and

turns into the spitting image of Queen Elizabeth. She
leers hideously at Camilla, and then abruptly turns into
an ordinary looking jar of peanut butter.
Camilla edges away from it along the wall, her eyes fixed
in horror on the chthonic jar. Suddenly it just vanishes.
She frantically looks around the room, but sees nothing.
A huge vampire bat materializes in the air about a yard

from her. It flutters erratically around her head, then
swoops in and grabs her hair with its claws. She tries to
fight it off, but it sinks its yellowed fangs into her
neck. She screams again.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/THOUGHT TRANSFERENCE CHAMBER
Desmond is hooked up to the thought transference machine

by a cable attached to a metal shackle around his neck.
The machine is fifteen feet wide and at least forty tall,
and covered with dials and knobs and large glowing coils.
Desmond is alone in the room. He tugs at his cable and

shackle, and examines and tests everything he can reach.
He looks up when the door to the room flies open, and two
nightmarish Xorkanoid monsters drag Dr. Rossiter,
gibbering and sputtering, up to the machine. Dr. Rossiter
struggles as they force his neck into a shackle like
Desmond’s, attached to the machine by a cable.
DR. ROSSITER
No! Not that! Anything but that!
AARRGGGHHHH!!
The aliens secure the collar around Dr. Rossiter’s neck.

Laughing grotesquely, they depart. Rossiter is silent,
then sobs.
DESMOND
Are you alright?
DR. ROSSITER
It’s all over. We’re doomed.
DESMOND
We’re still alive.
74.
DR. ROSSITER
We’d be better off dead.
(long pause)
Do you know what that machine is?
DESMOND
No.
DR. ROSSITER
We’re hooked up to a multi-
dimensional hyperphase thought
transference matrix. It will suck
our brains dry of every thought,
memory, and emotion we’ve ever
experienced, and move them to its
database. One flip of the switch
and you won’t remember your own name
or who or what you are. An
earthworm would have a higher IQ.
DESMOND
My God...
DR. ROSSITER
The good news is you won’t know what’s
happening to you when they butcher
you for fresh meat afterwards.
DESMOND
Are you for real? How do you know
all this?
DR. ROSSITER
Why should I tell you? You’d just
despise me.
DESMOND
No I wouldn’t.
DR. ROSSITER
Just shut up.
EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF WEAVERVILLE -- DAY
A multinational peacekeeping force wearing the baby blue

helmets of the the United Nations rolls down Hwy. 299 into
the outskirts of Weaverville. At its head are tanks in
single file, followed by a column of humvees, trucks, and
empty white buses bearing the U.N. logo. Two more tanks
bring up the rear.
Cooter squints through binoculars at the approaching

troops. With him are Butch and Little Willie, and a few
other guys. All are wearing camo and toting rifles.
Cooter puts down the binoculars and grasps the plunger

handle on an old surplus Korean War detonator.
75.
COOTER
You did check the detonator
battery, didn’t you?
LITTLE WILLIE
A little late to be asking that
now, ain’t it?
COOTER
I was asking Butch.
BUTCH
Don’t worry, it’s good.
COOTER
It better be.
A wire runs from the detonator down to an explosive charge

placed in a culvert beneath the highway. Cooter pushes the
handle down... and nothing happens. He pulls it up and
plunges it again. Still nothing.
LITTLE WILLIE
(hoots)
You pumping up a bicycle tire?
COOTER
When the hell was the last time you
checked this battery, Butch?
BUTCH
It was working fine when I blew up
that stump last summer...
Overhead, an enormous flying saucer appears. The men

scatter, but it beams all of them up, and the tanks and
trucks and buses, swallowing everything through its huge
central aperture. As the saucer glides away it excretes
dense fragments of ripped apart motor vehicles through
openings along the rim.
MONTAGE - FLYING SAUCERS ATTACKING EARTH
A) Flying saucers dematerializing missles on launch pads
B) Flying saucers attacking military installations with

light beam weapons
C) Saucers blowing up a nuclear power plant
D) Saucers blowing up a munitions stockpile
E) Saucers over New York beaming up thousands of screaming

people and blowing up skyscrapers
F) A flying saucer destroying Parliament, Big Ben

tumbling into the Thames
76.
G) Paris in ruins, the Eiffel Tower lying fused and

twisted on the ground
H) Washington, DC, flattened, the Washington Monument

lying in pieces in the reflecting pool
I) A flying saucer gliding silently and ghostlike over the

ruins of the Hollywood sign
INT. MOTHERSHIP/ZANDOR’S QUARTERS - NIGHT
Camilla, battling Zandor in the shape of a giant vampire

bat, stumbles against the dinner table. She sees the wine
bottle and the candlesticks totter, and instinctively
grabs one of the candlesticks. She shoves it into the
giant bat’s face, snuffing the flame in its eye socket. The
startled bat loses its grip, and Camilla clubs it with a
slashing backhand from the silver candlestick. It plummets
to the floor.
Camilla stomps on the stunned Zandor-bat, nailing it

through the heart with her stiletto heel and killing it.
CAMILLA
(aloud, to herself)
I’ll never call this style of shoe
impractical again.
She sees Zandor’s light scepter lying on a desk near the

door. She picks it up and examines it. Aiming along it she
pushes a button with her trigger finger, and a beam of
pulsating red light shoots out of it, striking and melting
a hole in the bulkhead. She looks through the hole and her
jaw drops.
Camilla carefully opens the door onto the corridor. She

peers both ways, then slips out carrying the scepter.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/THOUGHT TRANSFERENCE CHAMBER
Desmond and Dr. Rossiter remain hooked up to the machine.
DR. ROSSITER
Bah! What does it matter? At least
it will provide a brief distraction
from the impending horror. Alright,
I’ll tell you the story.
(pauses)
In December of 1938 an equipment
malfunction caused the forced
landing of a Xorkanoid scout ship
near Gila Bend, Arizona. The disc
was quickly impounded by the army,
and the civilian who found it was
discredited as a drunkard.
(MORE)
77.
DR. ROSSITER (CONT’D)

The fellow lost his job and
eventually committed suicide, but
of course it couldn’t be helped. In
any event, I was part of the team
brought in to examine the
spacecraft.
DESMOND
I don’t mean to interrupt, but what
is a Xorkanoid?
DR. ROSSITER
The Xorkanoids are our charming
hosts. You’ve just seen two of them
in their native form. They’re quite
interesting from a morphological
perspective, in that they have the
ability under certain circumstances
to transform themselves into any
desired shape.
DESMOND
You mean Zandor is...
DR. ROSSITER
Precisely. As well as all the other
so-called Pleiadians, and, for that
matter, the so-called Grays as
well. The Xorkanoids have been
staging an elaborate charade.
DESMOND
But if that’s true...
DR. ROSSITER
If you don’t mind, Mr. Lopez, I’m
trying to present this information
in an organized manner. If you
insist on interrupting me...
DESMOND
My apologies. Please continue.
DR. ROSSITER
The crew of the spaceship consisted
of eight Xorkanoids who’d adopted
the small, lightweight form of
Zetas for their interstellar
travels. For some reason, however,
which they never revealed, they
were either unable or unwilling to
change form during that entire stay
on Earth. I suspect it was a matter
of inability rather than deliberate
choice...
(MORE)
78.

... possibly due to a dietary
deficiency or some environmental
factor, although I can’t be
certain... Be that as it may, the
ship and its occupants were
transported to a top secret
facility near Alamogordo, New
Mexico, where we studied them for
the next eight and a half years.
The Xorkanoids were extremely
intelligent and learned English
quickly, and after an initial
period of reserved withdrawal
became very friendly, despite being
held captive.
(pause)
In fact, they were almost pathetic
in their eagerness to be helpful.
It was a pathos made all the more
poignant by the fact that they did
not do well in captivity. Three of
them died during the first few
years, and the rest appeared to be
on the verge of expiring as well,
when I made the biggest blunder of
my life. During one of my trips to
Alamogordo, I secretly arranged for
their escape.
DESMOND
Oh, man ...
DR. ROSSITER
The little fellows made it to their
flying disc and got away, but the
damaged equipment had never been
repaired. They flew fewer than a
hundred miles before crashing just
outside of Roswell. That was in
1947. The sole survivors of that
wreck were Zandor and...
(chokes up)
... and little Fafnor. Zandor fled
into the hills on foot and escaped
the army search party, but Fafnor,
who was seriously injured, was
picked up at the crash site. He
died a few hours later, in my arms.
Desmond and Dr. Rossiter sit in silence. Then Rossiter

clears his throat.
DR. ROSSITER
I returned to Los Angeles.
(MORE)
79.

Then one day, several months later,
I came home from work and
discovered Zandor waiting for me in
my living room. The little fellow
had managed to track me down over
all those miles! He asked me to
help him contact his home planet,
and of course I agreed to do
whatever I could.
(brief pause)
It was 1956 and we had to use
vacuum tubes and big, clumsy
capacitors and resistors, and wind
our own coils by hand, to build a
transceiver capable of
instantaneous communication across
a distance of light-years! It was
an almost impossible challenge. It
took nine years and every penny I
could raise, but in the end we
pulled it off.
DESMOND
That’s incredible....
DR. ROSSITER
We took the transceiver out to the
desert north of Barstow to test it,
and made contact on the first try.
The Xorkanoids responded on the spot
and came for Zandor. I was invited
to accompany him to their planet,
and of course I gratefully accepted.
It was there that I learned the true
nature of the Xorkanoids. But of
course, by the time I learned the
truth it was too late. I had two
choices -- to cooperate with the
aliens, or to die a horrible death.
Once I saw how merciless and how
technologically advanced they were,
it was not a difficult decision. It
did not take, as the saying goes, a
rocket scientist to figure out that
resistance would be futile.
(sobs)
I’ve been helping those ungrateful
bastards for years...
They are silent for a moment.
DESMOND
Why did it take them over fifty
years to invade?
80.
DR. ROSSITER
They had all the time in the world.
There were thousands of closer
planets for them to harvest first.
The door opens and Camilla bursts in.
DESMOND
Camilla!
CAMILLA
Am I glad to see you guys!
DR. ROSSITER
The light scepter! Release me
immediately and hand it over!
DESMOND
Don’t listen to him! He’s in league
with them.
DR. ROSSITER
Don’t be a fool! Do you think
they’d treat me like this if I were
working for them? Lopez is
delusional -- the strain must have
been too much for him. If you free
him first, there’s no telling what
he might do.
DESMOND
He’s lying. Zandor and his buddies
are going to invade Earth, and he’s
been helping them.
DR. ROSSITER
Release me now! Quickly -- there’s
no time to lose. Those monsters
could be back anytime.
Camilla walks over to Desmond and puts the tip of the

light scepter against the cable near his neck shackle. The
beam severs the cable and the shackle pops open. The beam
also puts a hole right through the thought transference
machine.
CAMILLA
You were right about Zandor, but I
don’t think he’s going to bother us
any longer. He turned into a bat,
and I stomped him through the heart
with one of my stiletto heels.
DESMOND
Way to go!
(kisses her forehead)
What are we going to do with this
guy?
80.
DR. ROSSITER
Don’t leave me here! I can help you
escape -- I know the way to the
hangar, and I can pilot a saucer!
DESMOND
(gesturing toward
the light scepter)
Is that thing hard to use?
CAMILLA
I don’t know what the other buttons
do, but that one’s the trigger. You
just push it and a ray shoots out
of the end there and makes holes in
things.
DESMOND
May I... ?
CAMILLA
What? You Tarzan, me Jane?
DR. ROSSITER
(whining)
What about me?
DESMOND
Are you prepared to make a hole in
him if you have to?
Camilla looks at Dr. Rossiter, then back at Desmond and

hands him the light scepter. Desmond frees Rossiter.
DESMOND
Okay Doc, let’s go find that
saucer. And stay in front where I
can keep an eye on you.
INT. MOTHERSHIP/HANGAR - NIGHT
The hangar is immense. Countless spacecraft in a plethora

of sizes and models are parked as far as the eye can see.
A long, snaky cargo transport like a roller coaster rolls

to a stop in front of a scout ship. Two slime-dripping
Xorkanoids unload first one, then a second, shiny white
crates, and deposit them onto the saucer’s ramp. The ramp’s
conveyor belt-like surface carries the crates into the
ship.
The cargo transport rolls off.
INT. SCOUT SHIP - NIGHT
Aboard the saucer, another Xorkanoid approaches the crate.

82.
The alien cracks it open with its powerful tentacles, and

Desmond pops up from the crate like a Jack-in-the-box. He
drills the creature between its insectoid eyes with the
light scepter, vaporizing its entire head. The grotesque
body crumples to the deck.
Camilla and Dr. Rossiter stand up in the crate beside

Desmond. Dr. Rossiter’s hands are tied together. Desmond
looks around the interior of the ship -- they are in the
control room, and no other Xorkanoids are visible. Desmond
helps Camilla out of the crate, then climbs out himself.
Holding the light scepter with one hand, he unties Dr.
Rossiter’s wrists with the other.
DESMOND
Sorry Doc, but I couldn't afford to
take any unnecessary chances.
Dr. Rossiter climbs out of the packing box.
DR. ROSSITER
I'm not a threat, you fool. I'm
your only hope of escape. Do you
really think I'm not aware that
even if I betrayed you, the
Xorkanoids would have no further
use for me?
DESMOND
Look, for all I know, that was an
act cooked up by your buddies.
DR. ROSSITER
They are not my buddies, and they
never were. They coerced me into
doing their bidding.
CAMILLA
(screaming)
Behind you!!
Desmond whirls around. A Xorkanoid is standing only a few

feet away from him, one of its tentacles slithering
towards his left ankle. Desmond blasts the creature.
DESMOND
Ughh...
(beat; to Camilla)
Thanks for saving my life.
CAMILLA
Thank you for killing that...
... thing.
DESMOND
We’d better see if there are any
more in here.
83.
CAMILLA
Good idea.
DESMOND
(carelessly waving
scepter towards Dr.
Rossiter)
Let’s stay together, shall we? Hmm. I
wonder what’s behind door number
one... Oh, and would you please
move over just a little, where I
can keep an eye on you while I...
There are two doors from the control room, in addition to

the entrance they’d used.
Desmond opens the first door very slowly and carefully

while watching Dr. Rossiter. He glances through the
opening and right back at Rossiter, then opens the door
all the way onto a Xorkanoid bathroom. There are no aliens
in it, but there is a multi-jet bidet.
DESMOND
... open this door. Thank you.
(beat)
Okay, let’s check the other one.
They open the other door. It leads to a storage room,

again without any aliens visible.
On the shelves Desmond finds, among other things, gallon

bottles of water and containers of food, recognizable by
their packaging as products of Earth.
DESMOND
Provisions. Cool.
CAMILLA
Those aliens are total
shapeshifters. They can make
themselves look like anything, even
a jar of peanut butter.
DESMOND
Regular or crunchy?
CAMILLA
It’s not a joking matter. There
could still be aliens aboard and we
wouldn’t know.
DESMOND
You’re right. I’m sorry, I wasn’t
belittling you, I was just trying
to lighten things up a little. But
yes, definitely, we have to stay on
guard, and be vigilant.
(MORE)
84.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
(to Dr. Rossiter)
You sure you know how to fly this
thing?
DR. ROSSITER
Does your grandmother know how to
suck eggs?
DESMOND
What?
DR. ROSSITER
Never mind, it’s before your time.
But yes, I can pilot this ship. An
intelligent dog could do it. Pay
attention and maybe even you can
learn how.
DESMOND
They must have some sort of air
traffic control system. What do we
do when we want to take off? How do
we get them to open the exit
aperture?
DR. ROSSITER
Elementary, my dear Lopez. We
don’t. We use the hyperdrive.
(presses a large red
button)
We use the hyperdrive... We use
the hyperdrive... We use the
hyperdrive... We use the
hyperdrive...
Everything spins, forming spiraling trails of colored

light. When it all stops spinning, Dr. Rossiter flips on
the oval viewscreen overhead, revealing the dramatic
California coastline below.
Desmond and Camilla burst into cheers.
DESMOND
We made it!
CAMILLA
Alright!
DR. ROSSITER
Before you begin celebrating,
remember that they’ll be looking
for us. We may be safe for the
moment, but not for long.
Dr. Rossiter operates the controls while Desmond observes.

85.
DESMOND
What about tweaking the hyperdrive
to take us back in time? The what
do you call it, dimensional bypass
drive -- that has a time machine in
it, right?
CAMILLA
That’s a great idea! We could go
back in time to before you helped
Zandor and warn you.
DR. ROSSITER
Impossible. For one thing, the
paradox inverters wouldn’t let me
encounter a younger version of
myself.
DESMOND
What if you disconnected the
paradox inverters?
DR. ROSSITER
Absolutely not! It could seriously
disrupt the entire time-space
continuum. And anyway, it’s not
that kind of time machine.
DESMOND
Well, what do you suggest?
DR. ROSSITER
As I see it, I’m afraid our only
hope is to...
Without warning, Dr. Eugene Rossiter’s head explodes like a

rotten pumpkin with a hand grenade in it. His body topples
onto the control panel, and the saucer pitches forward.
Camilla shrieks. Desmond pulls Dr. Rossiter’s body out of

the way, then grabs the controls and manages to right the
spacecraft. The two of them are covered with blood and
brains and bone fragments.
CAMILLA
(wiping gore from
her face)
What... what happened?
DESMOND
I don’t know. I think maybe he had
some kind of device implanted in
his head, and they set it off when
they discovered he was gone.
CAMILLA
How awful...
86.
As the saucer descends, Desmond frantically manipulates

the controls.
DESMOND
If I can’t figure out how to get
some reverse thrust happening in a
hurry, we’re looking at a very hard
landing.
He twists a sphere about the size of a grapefruit, and the

saucer speeds up. He twists it back and it slows down. He
twists it a little more, and the saucer slows further.
DESMOND
I think I’ve got it.
CAMILLA
I’m scared.
DESMOND
Don’t be. We’re going to be okay.
The viewscreen shows the ground rushing up. Desmond slows

the ship down to almost nothing, and manages a fairly
graceful landing. The disc skids across the ground, and
comes to a jarring halt against the trunk of a tree.
EXT. NEAR BIG SUR - DAY
Desmond and Camilla stumble out of the saucer. It sits

beneath a windswept Cypress tree above the Pacific Coast
Highway, conveniently shielded from view both from above
and from the road. Desmond is carrying Dr. Rossiter’s body
over his shoulder.
CAMILLA
What are you going to do with him?
DESMOND
We can’t just leave his body in
there.
The skidding saucer has left a substantial furrow in the

ground. Desmond gestures toward it.
DESMOND
That’ll be his grave. It’s shallow,
but it’s better than nothing.
Desmond gently lays Dr. Rossiter’s body into the furrow.
CAMILLA
(tilts her head at
the saucer)
What about them?
87.
DESMOND
Them? Oh right... them.
(grimaces)
I guess you’re right. I’ll be right
back.
Desmond goes back into the saucer and emerges with one of
the aliens. He lays it at Dr. Rossiter’s feet, then goes
back and gets the other one. He and Camilla push dirt and
pile rocks onto all three bodies, working silently and
pausing every now and then to glance up at the sky
anxiously.
Finally they finish. Camilla tugs on Desmond’s arm.
CAMILLA
Come on, let’s get out of here!
DESMOND
Just a second.
Desmond bows his head and says a few silent words.
DESMOND
Okay. Let’s go.
They scramble down to the highway and begin to walk north

along it. They are hot and dirty.
DESMOND
(holding up the
light scepter)
You know, they may be able to track
us through this thing. It might be
a good idea to leave it somewhere.
CAMILLA
On the other hand, it might be a
good idea to keep it handy in case
they show up...
DESMOND
It’s a toss up, isn’t it? Still, you
know, I think the odds of them
finding us go up if we have this
thing with us. And they might even
be able to make it explode, like
Gene’s head.
CAMILLA
Possibly...
DESMOND
Do you see anywhere good to hide
it?
88.
CAMILLA
(looks around)
Not really... Maybe the universe
wants us to keep it?
DESMOND
The universe wants us to keep it?
CAMILLA
Forget it.
They continue to walk along the highway.
DESMOND
Have you noticed there haven’t been
any cars?
CAMILLA
Yeah, it’s weird.
Desmond pauses by a medium sized boulder near the road and

tugs on it.
DESMOND
I have an idea. Could you help me
please?
CAMILLA
What do you want me to do?
DESMOND
Let’s see if we can budge this rock
a little. I think we should be able
to hide the light scepter under it.
CAMILLA
Okay.
Grunting and heaving, they barely manage to roll it maybe

a foot and a half.
DESMOND
There, that should do it. Thanks.
He scoops out a shallow depression, places the scepter in

it, and covers it with dirt.
DESMOND
Okay, now let’s roll it back.
CAMILLA
I hope we’re doing the right thing.
DESMOND
Me too.
They roll the boulder back to its original position.

89.
DESMOND
Look at that -- you can’t even tell
it’s been disturbed.
CAMILLA
I need a shower and a change of
clothes.
(glances down at her
stiletto heels)
And some different shoes.
DESMOND
Some deodorant wouldn’t hurt,
either.
CAMILLA
Same to you, buddy.
DESMOND
How about a dip in the ocean?
Hundreds of feet below them the ocean sparkles like a

living sapphire. Overhead, the sun blazes fiercely.
CAMILLA
Sounds fabulous. How are we going
to get down there without breaking
our necks?
DESMOND
(points)
Over there.
Looking north, they see a gentle slope down to the water.
CAMILLA
That’s got to be at least two miles
from here!
DESMOND
Yep. At least.
Camilla looks south along the coastline.
CAMILLA
What about over there?
A hundred yards away, not far from the bottom of the hill
that the saucer landed on, is a gravel parking area big
enough for a dozen cars. A sign at one end says “Beach
Access” and has an arrow pointing to the trailhead.
EXT. BEACH (NEAR BIG SUR) - DAY
Desmond and Camilla kick off their shoes and peel off some
of their filthier clothes. Laughing, they run into the
water.
90.
CAMILLA
Yeow! It’s cold!!
She splashes Desmond.
DESMOND
(splashes her back)
Hey!
Camilla grabs his arm, he retaliates, and seconds later

their arms are intertwined and they are standing in the
water kissing, waves rolling in half over them. The kiss
is getting pretty steamy when a good sized wave propels a
surfboard at Desmond, hitting him on the leg. He opens his
eyes and sees it, and disengages from Camilla.
DESMOND
(picks up surfboard)
Check it out!
(looks around)
I don’t see anyone who looks like
the owner... Guess it won’t hurt if
I take it for a little ride. I’ll
be right back.
Desmond paddles out to where the waves are breaking, turns

around, and waits for a good one. It comes and he catches
it and rides it all the way back to shore, where Camilla
is rinsing out her clothes.
DESMOND
This board totally rips!
CAMILLA
How lovely.
DESMOND
What’s the matter?
CAMILLA
Oh, nothing... But I would like to
know one thing -- do you find me
that unattractive, or are you just
gay?
DESMOND
What?
CAMILLA
You heard me.
DESMOND
I find you very attractive, and I
am definitely not homosexual.
CAMILLA
Then what’s your game?
91.
DESMOND
(rinsing out his
shirt)
I’m not playing any games. I
just... well, I guess I’m just an
old fashioned kind of guy.
CAMILLA
What -- you’re “saving yourself for
marriage?”
DESMOND
I guess you could say that.
Camilla laughs, a sharp, explosive bark.
CAMILLA
Are you still a virgin?
DESMOND
That’s none of your business.
CAMILLA
You are, aren’t you?
DESMOND
If I were, it’s certainly nothing
I’d be ashamed of.
CAMILLA
I can’t believe it! You are a
virgin!
(her eyes get wide)
You mean -- you’re safe?
DESMOND
I mean maybe we should go back to
the saucer and eat something.
CAMILLA
Are you sure you’re not gay?
Desmond clenches his teeth and closes his eyes. When he

opens them again, Camilla has a good head start to the
trail. He tucks the surfboard under his arm, slings the
wet shirt over his shoulder, and heads after her.
EXT. HIGHWAY ONE (NEAR BIG SUR) - DAY
Camilla and Desmond reach the road, and are greeted by

Buffy, the runaway black Lab, who bounces up to them with
a stick in her mouth. She drops the stick at their feet
and, squirming and wiggling like an eel, gently butts each
in turn with her lowered head while rubbing up against the
other’s legs.
92.
DESMOND
(dropping to his
knees)
Hey, we have a visitor!
Desmond pets Buffy, who responds by head-butting and

wiggling twice as enthusiastically. Camilla bends over and
hugs Buffy.
CAMILLA
How ya doin’ Boy?
(glances under dog)
I mean Girl.
DESMOND
What’s your name, Honey?
(reads tag)
Buffy!
Buffy barks joyfully and leaps up, planting her paws on

Desmond’s shoulders and almost knocking him over.
DESMOND
(laughing)
Down Girl! Down!
CAMILLA
Here Buffy...
Camilla picks up the stick to play fetch with Buffy, but

the black Lab grabs its end in her teeth and wrests the
stick away. She runs in big circles around Camilla and
Desmond, each of them grabbing for the stick and missing,
laughing. Then with a burst of speed Buffy shoots past
them and disappears around a bend in the road.
DESMOND
That’s one cool dog!
CAMILLA
She’s a sweetie pie. I hope she’s
going to be okay -- I haven’t seen
a single person since we got here.
DESMOND
I hope everyone’s not hamburger
helper by now.
(suddenly looks
puzzled)
What the hell...
Up the road near where he’d hidden the light scepter, a

huge crater now yawns, swallowing up the width of the
entire road and a good bit more. The boulder is completely
gone. Desmond moves closer.
DESMOND
They did it. They blew it up.
93.
CAMILLA
Would you look at that...
They walk up to the edge of the crater, where they see it

is in fact an apparently bottomless chasm. Desmond drops a
stone down it. They listen carefully, but never hear it
hit bottom.
CAMILLA
That thing must be a mile deep if
it’s a foot.
DESMOND
I wonder if they blew up the saucer
too?
CAMILLA
Oh no! That’s where all our food
and water are!
DESMOND
Come on, let’s find out.
They head back toward the saucer. As they walk along the
Coast Highway, Buffy reappears down the road and trots
toward them with a newspaper in her mouth. She drops it at
Camilla’s feet.
CAMILLA
(bending down and
petting her)
Hi Buffy! Good to see you again!
Did you bring me something?
Camilla opens the paper. It is a copy of the San Francisco

Chronicle. She and Desmond look at the front page
together.
The headline screams THRONGS AWAIT PLEIADIAN SAUCERS. The

photo below it shows thousands of partying True Believers
waiting for the Space Brothers atop Mt. Tamalpais.
DESMOND
This paper’s got to be at least two
days old. Those poor people who got
beamed up must all be dead by now.
(keeps reading)
Oh my God! They had some really big
quakes and a tsunami in L.A. I’ve
got to get down there and see how
my family is.
CAMILLA
Me too. How are we going to get
there? Should we take the flying
saucer?
94.
DESMOND
Do you think that’s wise? Assuming
that it hasn’t already been blown
up by remote control, of course.
CAMILLA
I know what you mean. What do you
think?
DESMOND
I’m not sure. But look, why don’t we
at least see if the saucer is okay?
If it is, we can decide then what
we want to do -- if we want to fly
it, or unload the food and water,
or just back away slowly, or what.
CAMILLA
Might as well.
They approach the hill the saucer is parked on, and look
up the side. The way looks manageable. They begin to
climb, Buffy scrambling up with them, Desmond carrying his
new surfboard, Camilla struggling in her stiletto heels.
EXT. FLYING SAUCER (ON HILL NEAR BIG SUR) - DAY
A raccoon climbs the ramp up to the saucer’s entrance, and

is trying to worry his way inside when he accidentally
trips a sensor and the hatch slides open. He crawls in.
INT. FLYING SAUCER
The raccoon heads straight for a panel beneath the

controls. He pushes it open and discovers two identical
pieces of equipment sporting brightly colored coils and
cables and flashing lights. The raccoon explores them with
his larcenous little paws, tugging on cable connectors and
other fascinating bits.
EXT. FLYING SAUCER
Desmond and Camilla and Buffy reach the top of the hill.
The graves look undisturbed, but the entranceway to the
saucer is wide open. Desmond and Camilla stop.
DESMOND
We didn’t leave the hatch open, did
we?
CAMILLA
I don’t think so...
Buffy perks up. She stares intently at the saucer, almost

quivering, and then bolts forward, barking furiously.
95.
Desmond and Camilla dash after her.
DESMOND
STOP, Buffy!! Come back!
CAMILLA
Here Girl! He-e-e-ere Buffy!
Buffy races up the ramp and hurls herself through the

opening, Desmond and Camilla still chasing her.
INT. FLYING SAUCER
The raccoon is dismantling one of the paradox inverters

when Buffy explodes into the room like a junkyard full of
rabid rottweilers. The raccoon leaps out of the way just
as Buffy crashes into the inverters, releasing a dazzling
fountain of colored sparks. Buffy turns and lunges at the
raccoon, who has landed on top of the flight controls.
Desmond lunges for Buffy.
CAMILLA
Down Girl!!!
As Desmond reaches Buffy, her left paw comes down on a

large red button, and the control room spins wildly, with
spiraling trails of colored light erupting into a blaze of
pyotechnics. It is much more intense than previous jumps
with the hyperdrive.
CAMILLA
(voice echoing)
Down Girl!!! Down Girl!!!
Down Down Down Down Down Down
Down Down Down Down Down Down
Girl Girl Girl Girl Girl Girl
Girl Girl Girl Girl Girl ...
EXT. YANKEE STADIUM (OCTOBER 8, 1956) - DAY
The stands are packed and Yankee Stadium is festooned in

bunting for the World Series. It is a beautiful day, with
a light breeze blowing out to right center field.
COMMENTATOR #1 (V.O.)
(filtered)
You can’t ask for a better pitcher’s
duel than what we’re seeing here
today in game five of the 1956 Fall
Classic. Sal Maglie of the Brooklyn
Dodgers has been perfect for the
first three innings...
(MORE)
96.
COMMENTATOR #1 (CONT’D)
... and with Junior Gilliam
grounding out to second to open the
fourth inning, the Yankees’ Don
Larsen has now thrown three and a
third perfect innings.
Pee Wee Reese steps into the batter’s box.
(filtered)
And now the Dodger team captain,
shortstop Pee Wee Reese, is up. Pee
Wee took a curve for a called
strike three in the first inning.
Larsen sets and throws with no wind-up, and Pee Wee lines
a grounder to second base.
(filtered)
Here’s the delivery... Pee Wee
swings and it’s a grounder to
second... Billy Martin picks it up
and throws the runner out. Two
away.
Pee Wee trots back to the dugout and Duke Snider comes to
the plate.
(filtered)
That’ll bring up number four, the
Duke of Flatbush, Dodger center
fielder Duke Snider. So far in the
Series he’s hit one home run, one
double, and driven in five runs.
Here’s the pitch, a fastball
outside for ball one.
The Duke takes the pitch for ball one.
(filtered)
The twenty-seven-year-old
righthander from San Diego sets and
throws... and that one’s away for
ball two... Larsen doesn’t want to
give the Duke anything good to hit.
Yogi wig-wags a sign, and Larsen
nods. Here’s the pitch... It’s a
curveball...
Snider smashes the ball and the crowd roars.

97.
(filtered)
Snider swings and it’s a towering
drive along the right field line...
into the upper deck! Is it fair?
It’s foul! It’s foul by inches! And
that makes it a long strike one,
bringing the count to two balls and
one strike.
Duke Snider picks up his bat and gets back into the
batter’s box. Yogi Berra says something to him that we can’t
hear, and he grunts in reply. Don Larsen stretches, and
then suddenly a flying saucer swoops down and hovers over
shallow center field.
There is panic in the stands and on the field. Home plate

umpire BABE PINELLI quickly calls time out and vanishes
into the dugout.
Players and coaches and umpires flee from the field, and
screaming fans create a gigantic logjam trying to get out
of the ballpark.
The saucer lands in back of second base.
Buffy, Camilla and Desmond watch the scurrying New Yorkers

on the viewscreen.
CAMILLA
Look at that! They’re really
freaking out.
DESMOND
I think we’ve made the evening
news. Now let’s go before anyone
has a heart attack.
Desmond manipulates some controls, and the saucer takes

off.
EXT. YANKEE STADIUM - DAY
In the stands, A FAN points to the departing flying disc.
A FAN
Look! The flying saucer is going!
Other fans turn around to see. Some cheer.
On the field, a few of the players cautiously return to

their positions, followed by a few more. The seats in the
stadium begin filling up again.
98.
(filtered)
Well that’s one for the record
books! This has got to the first
time World Series play has been
interrupted by a flying saucer
landing in the outfield.
(filtered)
It’s never happened during the
regular season, either, for that
matter... although in 1927, a pre-
season game in Ft. Myers, Florida
between the Phildelphia Athletics
and the Cleveland Indians was
interrupted for one hour and twelve
minutes by an alligator in the
outfield.
Buffy, Camilla and Desmond are still in the control room.

The viewscreen shows green hills rolling by below.
DESMOND
By the way, that wasn’t just any ol’
World Series game we dropped in on.
Does the name Don Larsen mean
anything to you?
CAMILLA
Not really.
DESMOND
Well today, Don Larsen pitched the
only perfect game in the entire
history of the World Series... or
at least he did back in the
timeline we came from...
EXT. YANKEE STADIUM - DAY
The Yankees are back on the field. Don Larsen takes a few
warm-up pitches and is a tad wild.
Yogi Berra trots out to the mound and they briefly confer,
then Yogi trots back to the plate. Larsen throws again,
and the pitch is down the middle.
Duke Snider steps back into the batter’s box. In the on-deck
circle, Jackie Robinson is taking a few cuts. Umpire Babe
Pinelli dusts off home plate.
BABE PINELLI
Play ball!!!
99.
The fans cheer.
(filtered)
As play resumes here in game five
of the 1956 World Series, Dodger
center fielder Duke Snider is at
the plate. The count on the big
lefthander is two and one, with two
away. Larsen stares in for a sign,
nods, and sets. Here’s the pitch...
Don Larsen’s pitch is a big rainbow of a curve in Snider’s

wheelhouse. The Duke of Flatbush unloads on it and crushes
a towering moonshot past the upper deck, clean out of
Yankee Stadium. This time it stays fair. The roar of the
Dodger fans is deafening.
Buffy, Camilla and Desmond are still in the control room.

The viewscreen shows the blue Pacific Ocean.
CAMILLA
What are you doing now? I thought
we were going to L. A.?
DESMOND
(at the controls)
We are, but it’s still the middle
of the day out here, and I don’t
want the Air Force or anybody else
firing at us. We’re a few miles off
the coast and flying low to avoid
radar... but what we need is
someplace to land where we can hang
out until it gets dark. Got any
ideas?
CAMILLA
Find an island?
DESMOND
It’s a pretty big ocean, and I don’t
have any charts.
CAMILLA
What’s that over there?
DESMOND
Catalina.
CAMILLA
Oh, right... Well, I don’t see why
we can’t just go look for a
deserted island.
(MORE)
100.
CAMILLA (CONT’D)
Even if we don’t find one, it’ll
give us something to do until dusk.
DESMOND
You’re a genius!
CAMILLA
Really?
EXT. FLYING SAUCER - DAY
The saucer flies west over the ocean.
EXT. FLYING SAUCER (TOPANGA CANYON) - NIGHT
The saucer is hidden from above by the foliage of a large

sycamore tree. Ramp extended, it rests in a secluded
hollow by a boulder-strewn creek. We hear the water
gurgling and the yips of coyotes singing to the moon, and
the soft buzz of nocturnal insects. An owl hoots.
The hatch slides open and Buffy and Desmond come out. They
walk down the ramp. The owl hoots again, and Desmond hoots
back at it. It replies, and Desmond answers it. They hoot
back and forth a few more times.
Desmond walks over to a small boulder and sits on it.

Buffy wanders off, sniffing the ground.
DESMOND
Don’t stay out all night, you wild
lady!
Desmond sits with his eyes closed, drinking in the sounds

and smells of the night. Camilla comes down the ramp and
walks over to him.
CAMILLA
Who were you just calling a wild
lady?
DESMOND
(opens his eyes)
Buffy. She just took herself for a
walk.
CAMILLA
(sits on a rock near
Desmond)
I thought maybe you found yourself
a girlfriend.
DESMOND
I did. Buffy.
101.
They sit quietly for a bit.
CAMILLA
I just really love Topanga.
DESMOND
I know what you mean. There’s
something about the land...
The sit quietly a bit longer.
CAMILLA
We need to be well rested for
tomorrow. There’s a lot at stake.
DESMOND
I know. I just hope we’re not too
late. Rossiter said they made
contact with Zandor’s home planet
in 1956, but he didn’t say when in
1956. We’re already up to October.
CAMILLA
We’ve got to be in time. We didn’t
come here for no reason.
DESMOND
I hope you’re right. Unfortunately,
I’ve known life to be cruelly
ironic on occasion.
CAMILLA
It can be beautiful and joyful,
too.
DESMOND
That’s true. I guess we’ll find out
how it’ll be soon enough.
CAMILLA
Of course, one really shouldn’t let
external circumstances dictate
one’s happiness.
DESMOND
If drooling, flesh-eating monsters
were to exterminate the human race,
I think that might affect one’s
happiness.
CAMILLA
(getting up)
I think you need some rest.
DESMOND
(gets up too)
I know I do.
(MORE)
102.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
(calls)
Here Buffy!
Buffy comes bounding back, amd the three of them walk up

the ramp and into the saucer. The hatch slides shut.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. FLYING SAUCER (TOPANGA CANYON) - DAY
The hatch slides open and Buffy, Desmond and Camilla

emerge. It is early morning, and birds are singing.
Camilla has a small daypack slung over her shoulder.
CAMILLA
(kicks off her red
high heels)
I’m going barefoot. Those things
are torture devices.
DESMOND
(picks up her shoes
and hands them to
her)
You’d better take them with you.
You might want them later.
CAMILLA
(puts them in
daypack)
I doubt it...
They hike along a narrow trail to the road.
DESMOND
This looks like as good a place as
any to hitch a ride.
(gestures)
The Valley should be that way.
Desmond hitchhikes while Camilla and Buffy wait demurely

alongside. One car and then a second roar by without
stopping. Finally a beat up 1947 Ford pickup truck with
balding tires pulls over. The DRIVER is a teenage guy with
a duck’s ass haircut, carrying a pack of cigarettes rolled
up in the left sleeve of his white tee shirt. He leans his
head out the window.
DRIVER
Where ya headed?
DESMOND
Tarzana.
103.
DRIVER
I can get you as far as Woodland
Hills.
DESMOND
That’d be great.
CAMILLA
Yeah, thanks a lot!
DRIVER
Hop in.
Camilla climbs in while Desmonds struggles with Buffy,

trying to get her into the back of the truck.
DESMOND
C’mon Buffy... that’s a good girl.
No! Buffy... Buffy! Here Girl!
Here! Gooood girl!
Desmond gets her in the back of the truck. He gets into

the cab next to Camilla and closes the door, and the truck
drives off.
EXT. PAWN SHOP (VENTURA BOULEVARD) - DAY
Desmond, Camilla and Buffy walk along the sidewalk to a

pawn shop. Desmond is walking Buffy on a leash made from a
length of old clothesline. Buffy keeps tugging on the rope
and choking herself. Camilla has her high heels on again.
They stop in front of the pawn shop. Desmond starts to tie

Buffy to a No Parking sign, but Camilla stops him.
CAMILLA
(taking Buffy)
That’s okay, I’ll stay out here with
her.
DESMOND
Okay, thanks.
Desmond removes a gold ring and a gold chain. He slides a

gold medal off the chain and puts it in his pocket.
DESMOND
The medal I’m hanging onto -- my
mother gave it to me.
(closes hand around
the ring and chain)
Wish me luck that I don’t get
ripped off too badly. This is
almost an ounce of gold.
CAMILLA
Good luck!
104.
DESMOND
Thanks.
He goes into the pawn shop.
EXT. SIDEWALK ALONG VENTURA BOULEVARD - DAY
Desmond is walking Buffy again. Camilla hobbles alongside

them, obviously in pain.
CAMILLA
You bought a gun?
DESMOND
An old revolver. It was only
eighteen dollars.
CAMILLA
Whatever possessed you to buy a
gun?
DESMOND
I saw the pistol in the case and I
started thinking... I’m pretty sure
it was Augustus McCrae in “Lonesome
Dove” who said it... that it’s better
to have a gun and not need it, than
to need one and not have it.
They come to a shoe store. Shoes in the window start at

$2.39.
DESMOND
I’ve still got ten dollars left.
Can I interest you in a new pair of
shoes and a pair of socks?
Camilla throws her arms around Desmond and kisses him.
EXT. BURGER STAND - DAY
Desmond is in a phone booth, looking through the phone

book. A few feet away Camilla sits at an outdoor table
reading a copy of the Los Angeles Examiner and sharing
French fries with Buffy. Her feet are clad in saddle shoes
and Bobby socks.
DESMOND
(moving his finger
down the page)
Ross, Rossi, Rossini... Rossiter,
Eugene A.! Tarzana!
(sticks his head out
of the phone booth)
We got him! He’s in the phone book.
105.
Desmond jots down Rossiter’s address and phone number, then

joins Camilla and Buffy.
CAMILLA
So what’s the plan?
DESMOND
Well, we could call Dr. Rossiter
and try to arrange a meeting. Or,
we could drop by unannounced. Or we
could sorta just slide past his
place and check it out, and then
see if anything suggests itself.
CAMILLA
Maybe go by and check it out first.
DESMOND
That’s what I was thinking.
Desmond sees something in the paper Camilla was reading.
DESMOND
Wait a second. Could I see that for
a minute?
Camilla hands the paper to him. He skims over an article.
DESMOND
Cool! That game we dropped in on --
Larsen gave up a gopher ball to
Duke Snider right after we left.
CAMILLA
What’s a gopher ball?
DESMOND
A homer. Anyway, it ruined his
perfect game, and then he gave up
another run in the fifth, and the
Dodgers won two to nothing. But get
this -- it was Sal Maglie who ended
up pitching the perfect game!
CAMILLA
No! Don’t you feel terrible about
ruining Larsen’s game?
DESMOND
Are you kidding? I’m a Dodgers fan.
I hate the Yankees!
CAMILLA
Well, I don’t think it’s fair.
DESMOND
It’s the luck of the draw. You win
some and you lose some.
106.
CAMILLA
Whatever. Anyway, how are we going
to get to Dr. Rossiter’s place?
DESMOND
Right. Well, his place is only two
or three miles away. By foot maybe?
CAMILLA
I couldn’t possibly walk that far.
Even in my wonderful new shoes.
DESMOND
We’ll have to take Buffy. Maybe
take a taxi?
(unfolds a map)
Can you believe that with gas at
twenty cents a gallon they can give
away these maps for free and still
make obscene profits?
(points to a spot on
the map)
Okay, this is where we are...
(moves finger to new
spot)
... and this is where his house is.
CAMILLA
A taxi is too expensive. What if
you went and did the scouting
thing, and I stayed here and kept
Buffy out of your hair? And rested
my feet?
DESMOND
Are you sure you’ll be okay? I may
be gone a while.
CAMILLA
I’ll be fine.
Desmond fishes out his wallet and hands her two dollars.
DESMOND
Here’s a couple of bucks.
CAMILLA
Thanks!
DESMOND
Oh yeah, I’d better take the
Chronicle and the calculator, in
case I make contact.
Camilla hands him the daypack.

106.
DESMOND
Thank you.
(looks at the nearby
storefronts)
I’d better get some ammo, too.
CAMILLA
(puts her hand on
his arm)
Promise me you’ll be careful.
Desmond bends over and kisses her on top of her head.
DESMOND
I promise.
EXT. NEAR DR. ROSSITER’S HOUSE (TARZANA) - DAY
Desmond walks along a paved road. On one side of the road

ranch-style homes appear sporadically. Opposite them is a
field of orange trees planted in neat rows.
Desmond stops near one of the houses and looks it over. A

classic woody station wagon is parked in the driveway.
The front door of the house opens and Dr. Rossiter steps
out. He closes the door behind him and walks over to the
woody. He looks much younger than in the previous scenes.
As he puts the key into the car door, Desmond approaches
him.
DESMOND
Excuse me, Dr. Rossiter...
DR. ROSSITER
I’m afraid you have the advantage.
You are...
DESMOND
Desmond. Desmond Lopez. I used to
work for you, I mean, will be
working for you, when you’re at
JPL...
DR. ROSSITER
What are talking about?
DESMOND
Is there, ah, someplace we can
speak in private? It’s very
important.
DR. ROSSITER
This is private.
Desmond cocks his head toward the house for a second.

108.
DESMOND
(lowers his voice)
Someplace where Zandor might not
overhear us?
DR. ROSSITER
What do you know about Zandor?
Desmond takes Dr. Rossiter by the arm and leads him a step
or two away from the house.
DESMOND
Shhhh. I know more about him than
you do. And I know about Gila Bend,
and Roswell, and even Fafnor.
DR. ROSSITER
I never touched Fafnor! It was
purely a Platonic relationship.
Look, if this is some kind of crude
attempt at blackmail...
DESMOND
It’s nothing of the sort. I’m from
the future. I’m a time-traveler.
DR. ROSSITER
What?
Desmond unslings the daypack from his shoulder.
DESMOND
I can prove it. Look.
(gets out newspaper)
Look at the date on this copy of
the San Francisco Chronicle.
DR. ROSSITER
Please! Do you take me for an
idiot? Anyone with access to a
printing press...
DESMOND
Okay, but what about about this?
(produces scientific
calculator)
This device made the slide rule
obsolete. It can do trigonometric
functions, logs, natural logs,
standard deviations, hyperbolic
functions, derivatives, integrals,
square roots, cube roots,
hexadecimal conversions, you name
it -- out to twelve decimal places
-- in a fraction of a second. It
can even graph equations!
109.
DR. ROSSITER
Show me. What’s the square root of
4.3681?
DESMOND
(presses the keys)
Two-point-zero-nine.
Dr. Rossiter snatches it out of Desmond’s hand,
DR. ROSSITER
Let me see that thing.
(begins crunching
numbers)
And this is Earth science?
Developed by humans?
DESMOND
Right here in the good ol’ U.S. of
A.
DR. ROSSITER
What year do you come from? That
newspaper said 2008...
DESMOND
That’s right, 2008.
DR. ROSSITER
The twenty-first century!
DESMOND
It’s not the the futuristic Utopia
you’re imagining, especially once
Zandor and his buddies show up with
their flying slaughterhouses and
start butchering the human race
into extinction.
DR. ROSSITER
I don’t believe you. Zandor is a
vegetarian.
DESMOND
Zandor has the ability to transform
himself into any form he chooses.
For now he’s adopted the shape of a
Gray, but in his natural form he
resembles a cross between a giant
squid, a T. rex, and an oversized
preying mantis. And he is very
carnivorous.
(pauses)
Let me briefly explain what
happened after you finished helping
him build his radio.
(MORE)
110.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
Zandor contacted his home planet
and a ship came and took the two of
you back with it, where you learned
Zandor’s true nature. You were then
given two choices -- to collaborate
with him and his fellow Xorkanoids
in their plans to conquer Earth, or
be destroyed. I’m afraid you did
not choose the more honorable path.
DR. ROSSITER
What you’re telling me is horrible,
horrible.
(pauses)
If it’s true.
DESMOND
Unfortunately, it is. I wish it
weren’t.
Dr. Rossiter eyes Desmond sharply.
DR. ROSSITER
How do I know I can trust you?
DESMOND
I could have turned you in. I know
you arranged the escape.
DR. ROSSITER
I don’t know what you’re talking
about.
Dr. Rossiter begins pacing in tight circles, his hands

clasped behind his back.
DESMOND
Don’t play games with me, Gene.
This is deadly serious business.
DR. ROSSITER
I am deadly serious. Look, for all
I know you’re a Pleiadian spy.
DESMOND
There are no Pleiadians. And there
aren’t any Zetas, either. It’s all
smoke and mirrors -- Xorkanoids
performing an elaborate charade,
first assuming one form and then
another. Look --
(opens Chronicle to
an inner page)
there’s a photograph of Zandor
posing as a Pleiadian.
(MORE)
111.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
(pauses as Dr.
Rossiter looks)
They’re monsters, I tell you, and
once Zandor contacts his home
planet, the human race is toast!
DR. ROSSITER
Toast?
DESMOND
Done. Extinct. Kaput.
(waves arms wildly)
Don’t you understand? We’re talking
about the end of all human life!
Rossiter stops pacing and peers at Desmond intently.
DR. ROSSITER
Assuming you’re correct, what do
you want me to do?
DESMOND
We have to destroy that transceiver
you’ve been working on. And we need
to put Zandor out of commission.
Probably permanently, I’m afraid.
DR. ROSSITER
You expect me to destroy my life’s
work and kill my best friend on the
basis of a handheld calculating
device, a newspaper, and a hare-
brained story about time travel?
You’re mad!
DESMOND
I came here in a stolen Xorkanoid
scout ship. You must have seen it
on TV, or at least in the papers.
The paradox inverters failed and
the temporal components went crazy,
and the next thing I knew I was
back here in 1956.
DR. ROSSITER
That’s impossible!
DESMOND
It’s possible, and you know it.
That transceiver you’ve been
working on employs temporal
circuitry -- if it didn’t, it
wouldn’t be capable of
instantaneous communication across
a distance of light years.
112.
DR. ROSSITER
How do you know so much about what
I’m doing?
DESMOND
Because you told me.
DR. ROSSITER
(scornfully)
In the year 2008?
DESMOND
In 2008.
DR. ROSSITER
(resumes pacing)
I don’t know...
DESMOND
For God’s sake, Man! The fate of
the entire human race is in your
hands! You’re already partly
responsible for its destruction in
one temporal continuum, but you
were missing critical information.
Now you’ve got a second chance, and
all the pieces. Don’t blow it
again!
DR. ROSSITER
Will you shut up and let me think!
I don’t need you to tell me my
business!
DESMOND
Okay! Okay!
DR. ROSSITER
In fact, I want you to leave my
property immediately. Come back at
four. I’ll let you know then what I
intend to do.
DESMOND
At four... ?
DR. ROSSITER
That is correct. Good day.
Dr. Rossiter turns on his heel with Prussian precision and

marches back into the house, closing the door behind him.
Desmond stares as if dumbfounded. A window flies open and
Dr. Rossiter’s head emerges.
DR. ROSSITER
If you don’t leave immediately I
shall call the police.
He retracts his head and closes the window.

113.
Desmond walks off back the way he came. Once out of sight
he crosses over to the orange grove, and works his way to
a concealed position. He watches the house.
After a bit the front door opens and Dr. Rossiter comes
out, carrying one end of an object roughly the size and
shape of a large footlocker. It is covered by a sheet, and
at its other end a slight figure no more than four feet
tall is struggling. It is wearing long pants, a long-
sleeved shirt, gloves, and a large floppy hat. It keeps
its head down, hiding its face.
They stow the object in the back of the station wagon, get
in, and drive off. Desmond bolts from the bushes after
them.
He sprints to the corner and frantically looks around. A

sleek turquoise colored Cadillac convertible with its top
down cruises up to the corner next to him and stops at the
stop sign. Desmond dashes over to it and grabs the door
handle.
DESMOND
For the love of God, you’ve got to
help me! I can’t let that car out
of my sight -- it’s a matter of life
and death!
The driver of the Cadillac is ELVIS PRESLEY.
ELVIS
Whoa there fellah. What’s all the
commotion?
DESMOND
Oh m’gosh, it’s you! It’s an honor
to meet you, Mr. Presley. Look, I
don’t have time to explain, but I
have to follow that car.
(points at woody)
It’s literally a life or death
matter. Could you possibly give me
a ride?
A car full of squealing teenage girls pulls up next to the

Caddy. Elvis waves at them.
ELVIS
Hi girls!
(turns back to
Desmond)
Those are my friends from Encino.
(turns back to
girls)
Hey Donna, can you give me a ride to
Beverly Hills if I loan my car to
this fellow?
114.
DONNA, a perky teenage girl, is at the wheel. She beams a

radiant smile.
DONNA
Anytime!
In the distance, the woody turns off down a side street.
ELVIS
(to Desmond)
Tell ya what -- in this town, a
fellah really needs some wheels of
his own.
(takes title from
glove compartment)
Here, let me give you mah autograph.
Elvis signs the pink and hands it to Desmond.
ELVIS
(getting out of car)
There ya go. The keys are in the
ignition. Good luck.
They shake hands.
DESMOND
(getting in the car)
I can’t thank you enough, Mr.
Presley! But I have to go now.
EXT. STREETS OF TARZANA - DAY
Desmond peels out after Dr. Rossiter and Zandor. He floors

the accelerator, and the needle whips around to ninety.
A hard left, and he catches sight of Rossiter’s woody. He

draws closer and follows it from a discreet distance.
INT. DR. ROSSITER’S WOODY - DAY - TRAVELING
Dr. Rossiter is driving and Zandor, in the form of a Gray,

is sitting on the passenger side. Zandor turns around and
looks out the back.
ZANDOR
That blue automobile is following
us.
DR. ROSSITER
Are you sure?
(looks up at
rearview mirror)
Oh damn! It’s that nosy time-
traveler.
115.
ZANDOR
Commence evasive action
immediately!
DR. ROSSITER
In this thing? They’re driving a
Cadillac!
ZANDOR
We have no choice. Hurry!
EXT. STREETS OF TARZANA - DAY
The woody makes an abrupt right, shoots down the street,

and makes another right at the next corner. Desmond
follows them around the first turn, shoots right past the
next one but, catching a glimpse of the woody, jams on his
brakes, backs up, and heads down the right street.
Dr. Rossiter and Zandor continue to try to shake Desmond,

and end up on a country road heading into the hills
towards Mulholland. The Caddy is right on their tail.
INT. DESMOND’S CADILLAC - DAY - TRAVELING
Desmond grips the steering wheel tightly as he drives, his

face reflecting intense concentration.
INT. DR. ROSSITER’S WOODY - DAY - TRAVELING
Dr. Rossiter looks into the rearview mirror again.
DR. ROSSITER
He’s gaining on us!
He steps on the gas. The road twists and turns, Dr.

Rossiter barely managing to keep the car under control.
EXT. NEAR MULHOLLAND - DAY
The Caddy continues to gain on Dr. Rossiter’s station

wagon. One sharp turn, then another, the woody skidding
through the turns, and suddenly they come up to a tight
hairpin curve, way too tight. Rossiter jams on the brakes
too late, and the woody smacks into an oak tree. Right
behind it the Caddy fishtails to a stop. Desmond leaps
out, the revolver in his hand.
Rossiter and Zandor open their doors and start to get out.
DESMOND
Get back in the car and put your
hands on the dashboard.
(MORE)
116.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
(waits while they
obey)
Now keep ’em there, and don’t move!
Desmond steps closer, keeping the gun pointed at them.

Suddenly, Dr. Rossiter’s head explodes, splattering Desmond
with its contents. Desmond flinches, and Zandor takes
advantage of the distraction to transform himself into a
coyote and bound off into the hillside. Desmond fires
twice quickly and misses both times. He runs after the
coyote, stops, and fires three more times, missing again
each time as the coyote zigs and zags erratically.
With one bullet left in the revolver’s cylinder, Desmond

heads through the rugged terrain after the Zandor-coyote.
He loses sight of the coyote as the terrain gets rougher.
He clambers up a rise, and from the top he sees the coyote
again, about seventy-five yards away. Propping his gun
hand atop a chest-high boulder he carefully sights along
the barrel, slowly exhales, and squeezes the trigger. And
misses.
Zandor, as if he’d been counting the shots, stops and turns

around. He seems to be laughing, almost taunting Desmond.
Desmond reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box
of cartridges. Opening it with shaking fingers, the shells
spill onto the ground. They roll down the hill behind him
and out of sight.
Desmond shoves the empty pistol into his belt and picks up
a rock the size of a baseball. He starts back after
Zandor. Zandor toys with Desmond, allowing him to get
almost within a stone’s throw and then dashing off. Desmond
doggedly continues the pursuit. Sweat pours down his face,
and his breath comes in ragged gulps. He stumbles and
falls, picks himself up, stumbles again, and falls on his
face. As he lies on the ground, Zandor watches him from
about twenty-five yards away.
Desmond manages to regain his feet and the Zandor-coyote

turns tail. Desmond reaches back and hurls the rock. It
flies straight at Zandor, and sails about a foot and a
half over his head. Zandor laughs, his long tongue hanging
out saucily, and trots away.
DESMOND
(gasping)
Damn you!
Desmond takes a couple of steps, and his knees buckle

beneath him. He falls to the ground sobbing.
Zandor does a little celebration dance, stopping in the

middle of it when another coyote emerges from behind a
clump of sage. It is a young female in heat, and Zandor is
instantly electrified. Their noses touch, quivering.
117.
She allows Zandor to sniff her crotch for a second, but

when he attempts to mount her she coquettishly scurries
off. He follows her.
Desmond tries to get up, but can’t. He crawls forward.
The female coyote allows Zandor to corner her in a shallow

draw which dead-ends at the base of a steep outcropping of
sandstone. Zandor mounts her, and an instant later a pack
of starving wild coyotes emerge from the brush around him.
Before he can react, the female whirls around and slashes
open his throat with her fangs. Then the rest of the pack
attacks, tearing him apart.
Desmond makes it to his feet. He trudges over to where

Zandor was ambushed by the starving coyotes. All he finds
there are bits of blood-spattered fur and a coyote’s tail.
As he watches, the tail turns into a severed tentacle.
EXT. BURGER STAND (ON VENTURA BOULEVARD) - DAY
Desmond cruises up to the burger stand in his turquoise

Cadillac convertible. Camilla and Buffy are still there.
DESMOND
(calls out)
Hey there, good lookin’, you need a
lift?
CAMILLA
Desmond, you’re okay! I was so
worried something had happened to
you. I was just about to call the
police. Where’d you get the car?
DESMOND
Hop in, I’ll tell you all about it
on the way back to the Canyon.
Camilla and Buffy get in the car.
CAMILLA
What happened with Rossiter and
Zandor?
DESMOND
They’re history. It’s quite a story.
I have their super-duper
intergalactic radio in the trunk.
CAMILLA
Well don’t keep me in suspense. What
happened?
118.
DESMOND
First of all, look in the glove
box. You’ll find the pink slip
there. Check out the signature.
The Cadillac drives off.
EXT. FLYING SAUCER (TOPANGA CANYON) - NIGHT
Desmond and Camilla lug Zandor’s transceiver from the trail

to the saucer. They carry it up the ramp to the hatchway,
and through it. It is a wild looking futuristic
contraption covered in dials and gauges, with antennas
shaped like spiral coils sprouting from it.
Camilla’s head pops back out of the opening.
CAMILLA
(calling)
Here Buffy! Here Girl!
(waits)
Bu-u-f-f-fy!
Buffy gallops up the ramp and dives through the hatchway.

The hatch slides shut behind her and the ramp retracts.
The flying saucer begins to hum. The pitch gets higher and
higher, and then the saucer gently rises from the ground.
It drifts forward, free of the trees, and takes off into
the night sky.
EXT. FLYING SAUCER - NIGHT
The saucer flies down the middle of the Canyon to the

beach, flying low at about a hundred feet above the
ground. It crosses over Topanga Beach and heads out to
open water. An aperture in the center of its underside
irises open, and the transceiver drops through it into the
water.
The saucer circles back toward land, but almost

immediately begins to grow transparent. As it approaches
the beach the saucer disappears entirely, and Buffy,
Camilla and Desmond plunge into the ocean.
EXT. TOPANGA BEACH - NIGHT
They are treading water furiously.
CAMILLA
What... what happened?
DESMOND
(spitting out water)
With Zandor and Rossiter dead...
(MORE)
119.
DESMOND (CONT’D)
... and the radio destroyed... that
must have made it impossible... for
a saucer... from the invasion fleet
to be here.
CAMILLA
Oh, right...
They make it to the beach and stumble out of the water,

soaked amd spluttering. Buffy shakes herself, spraying
Desmond and Camilla with seawater and sand.
DESMOND
Hey!
CAMILLA
Buffy, you stink! You need a bath!
They laugh. Then Camilla groans.
CAMILLA
I had to take my shoes off because
they were dragging me down, and
then a wave tore them out of my
hands. I can’t believe I’m shoeless
again!
DESMOND
I lost mine too. We’ll have to get
new ones tomorrow.
They start walking along the beach, Buffy running around

them making large circles on the sand.
CAMILLA
Oh no!
DESMOND
What?
CAMILLA
I just realized -- without the
saucer we’re stuck here. There’s no
way to get back to our time.
DESMOND
Hey, I can live with that!
CAMILLA
Well, I’m glad you can, but I’m not
particularly thrilled about it.
DESMOND
Look on the bright side. The
Fifties are actually pretty cool.
120.
Desmond points towards a campfire. A few surfers are

sitting around it, their long surfoards lying in the sand
beside them.
DESMOND
Check out that those logs. Right
now they’re still making them from
balsa wood, but within a couple of
years a whole new generation of
surfboards made from polyurethane
foam and fiberglass is going to
come along... and I get to be a
part of it if I want to, which I
do. I mean, I have all this
specialized knowledge about
aerodynamics and hydrodynamics and
turbulence and stuff that nobody
else in this era has, and I can use
it to design outrageous
surfboards... Is that great or
what?
CAMILLA
I’m so happy for you.
DESMOND
Oh, come on, don’t be like that.
CAMILLA
Well how do you expect me to feel?
You think I like getting stuck back
in 1956?
DESMOND
Like it or not, there’s really
nothing we can do about it, except
try to make the best of it.
CAMILLA
Well you don’t have to be so damn
cheerful about it.
DESMOND
Well I can’t help it. I’m stoked!
CAMILLA
Oh yeah? Do you have any idea what
it’s going to be like for me, being a
woman in 1956? It’s practically the
Dark Ages. I mean, look at
McCarthyism, and segregation and
everything. And what about food?
They still use DDT on everything,
for God’s sake!
121.
DESMOND
I’d rather eat food sprayed with
DDT than that genetically
engineered garbage. And what do
McCarthyism and segregation and DDT
have to do with being a woman in
1956, anyway?
CAMILLA
They’re all part of Fifties
consciousness!
DESMOND
Oh come on. The Fifties aren’t so
bad.
CAMILLA
Not so bad? They’re horrible!
DESMOND
Give them a chance. There’s a lot
that’s really good about the Fifties.
They’re not perfect, but there’s a, I
don’t know, an innocence and an
optimism about the decade... Yeah,
there was all that Cold War
paranoia, but still it was a time
when in a lot of places people
could, I mean can, still leave
their doors unlocked, and kids can
go for walks in their own
neighborhoods on summer nights
without having to look over their
shoulders.
CAMILLA
That’s a nostalgic fiction.
DESMOND
(shrugs)
I don’t think so. I have relatives
who grew up in the Fifties, and
they told me what it was like. It
was still tough, but there was a
lot that was really good about it,
too.
CAMILLA
On TV, maybe.
DESMOND
No, in real life.
They continue to walk.
DESMOND
And what about Fifties clothes?
122.
CAMILLA
Well, yeah...
They stop a moment to gaze at the moon.
DESMOND
And we get to be here for the early
days of rock music.
Desmond draws a squiggle in the sand with his toe, and

Buffy runs right through it, obliterating it.
DESMOND
And you know what else -- Fifties
cars are really cool, and gas is
incredibly cheap.
CAMILLA
Polluting gas guzzlers. I can’t
believe you!
DESMOND
Oh, come on. Don’t tell me that Caddy
isn’t a blast. Where’s your sense of
fun?
CAMILLA
Shut up and hold me. I’m cold.
He puts his arms around her, and they embrace in the

moonlight, sharing body heat.
They kiss, then after a long moment their lips and then
their bodies part.
DESMOND
Let’s find some driftwood and build
a fire.
CAMILLA
That’s a great idea.
DESMOND
There’s a piece over there.
He strolls over to the driftwood and picks it up, but

Buffy grabs the other end with her teeth, and wrests it
away from him. He chases her. Camilla laughs.
DESMOND
Drop it, Buffy!
Buffy runs around them in big circles, the piece of

driftwood in her mouth.
FADE OUT.
THE END

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“THE SPACE BROTHERS”

EXT. OUTER SPACE - NIGHT

The moon, dark side toward us, is set against a gibbous

Looking more closely, we see an immense alien mothership

EXT. WEST HOLLYWOOD - DAY - ESTABLISHING

Shiny cars roll down La Cienega Boulevard beneath stately

INT. UFO EXPO/FOOD COURT - DAY

DESMOND LOPEZ pays for a cup of coffee and carries it over

He and CAMILLA FRENCH, a sprightly, twenty-seven year old

Desmond gestures towards an empty table.

They find a table and seat themselves, Desmond pulling out

They sip their coffee.

A loud scream suddenly pierces the air. Desmond and

The guards drag his motionless form away.

Camilla and Desmond sit in stunned silence. Desmond closes

INT. MAIN HALL

Desmond and Camilla walk past stalls and tables crowded

They walk a little farther.

They stop for a moment to look at a sculpture of a bug-

They exit the main hall.

They pass doors bearing announcements for UFO related

An immense EARTH MOTHER type festooned with goddess

An USHER leads them toward the front row. Suddenly Camilla

Two cameraman/reporter teams are setting up. One of the

They arrive at the center of the front row. The usher

In the background we hear the cheesy, eerie strains of

Almost imperceptibly the light begins to dim as the hall

She begins to clap enthusiastically, and the room explodes

Camilla pointedly ignores him and stands up, sparking a

Eventually the applause dies down, and the audience sinks

Murmurs of agreement ripple through the crowd.

EARTH MOTHER (CONT’D)

At the word “Pleiadian” Camilla clamps her fingers onto

Paroxysms of delirious applause.

DR. ROSSITER emerges from behind the curtains and walks to

Rossiter looks ancient. He is tall and gaunt, and his bald

Dr. Rossiter nods once toward the audience, gravely, then

A gunshot erupts from the audience, and Dr. Rossiter is

We see a man in a black ski mask backing toward the exit,

Suddenly the stage curtains are flung apart and ZANDOR

Zandor calmly points the light scepter at him and blasts

The man floats upward until he is horizontal in the air,

As Zandor speaks, the levitating man’s clothing and flesh

Zandor adjusts a dial on the light scepter, and the ray of

The audience appears stunned. Camilla is curled up in a

Zandor turns the scepter back on and bathes Dr. Rossiter

Zandor helps him to his feet.

Several people in the audience are crying. A small throng

Dr. Rossiter steps up to the microphone.

He leans against the podium, supporting himself.

Zandor’s admirers reluctantly withdraw.

He picks up the glass of water and drains it.

A frenzied roar erupts from the crowd.

INT. JOE & EMILY’S APARTMENT/KITCHEN (VENICE BEACH) - DAY

The apartment is sparsely furnished and a little messy.

EMILY is in her late twenties. She is medium height, thin,

Emily picks up a large carving knife and heads toward the

INT. LIVING ROOM

JOE is seated in an easy chair in front of the television.