100 Days of Singleness: The Journey of Healing Into Wholeness
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About this ebook
It's about time for you to get your healing, take the challenge!
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100 Days of Singleness - ShaKeisha C. McKenzie
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DAY 1
THE CLEAN TEXTING CHALLENGE…KEEP IT FRIENDLY!
Okay turn off the love songs, put the ice cream back in the freezer and DO NOT text him! He’s not the one and you know it -- he wasn’t even a good one to begin with. Don’t let your loneliness commit you to another moment in the wrong relationship!
For the next 7 days we will aim to rid ourselves of every romantic attachment that God has convicted us about --No, you aren’t the one that can help him get saved and no, going to church every Sunday does not mean he is close to getting there. We are going to get so wrapped up in Christ and in our purpose as believers that God Himself will begin to do the process of elimination for us without all of the wasted time and effort.
It is not okay to keep someone around just to stroke your ego, and there is no room for God to work in your heart and mind if it is cluttered with yesterday’s boyfriend and Mr. Maybe.
If you are taking the 100 Days of Singleness Challenge here are the guidelines:
No kissing
No sexual contact of any nature
No cuddling with the opposite sex
No massages or back-rubs
The reason I spelled it out is because some of us tend to put ourselves in compromising positions with the mind-set that we are strong enough to withstand the temptation, but even this can be an unnecessary hindrance to us. We are seeking the face of God and using the next 100 days to fully come to a place where we are not only content as single women, but are also completely healed of all our past hurts. It is only through the spirit of God that we are able to do this.
Today’s Challenge
Establish clear boundaries of friendship
Are you up for the Challenge?
We must begin by releasing those we know will only hinder our progress spiritually. And yes it does get hard, but God would not lead you to do something you cannot handle. As long as He is your strength, you can and will complete the100 Days of Singleness Challenge. You will end better, stronger and wiser than you were when you began.
DAY 2
SOCIAL SWEEPING
Today we are going to clean up the area we spend most of our free time scrolling…
Social networks.
The object is to unfollow, delete, and remove everything that subjects you to content that is deemed outright lewd, ungodly, sexually explicit or profane. It is not about judging people by what they post, but is instead about guarding your heart from things that distract you from your purpose.
During this time of focusing on Christ and removing ungodly influences, the enemy will begin to come at you from every angle and you need to be prepared. We are strong and capable women that can and will live godly lives that are acceptable and pleasing in His sight.
What we allow into our hearts is a direct reflection of how much we value ourselves
Today’s Challenge
Fill yourself with what you want to produce
Be sure that what you are taking in is in line with who you want to be
Meditate on this scripture throughout your day:
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
(Proverbs 4:23-25 NASB)
DAY 3
REVIEW, RESTORE & RELEASE YOUR WAY TO YOUR BREAKTHROUGH
As I contemplated on what to write for day three, these words came to mind: review, restore, release. We have been clean texting and have done our social media sweep, so the next step is applying those same concepts to the people we speak to daily.
1. REVIEW
Take a step back and reflect upon those you speak to daily. Evaluate your relationships and ask yourself these questions about each one:
•Are they bringing me closer to God?
•Has God assigned me to bring them closer to Him?
•Is the relationship solely superficial?
•Am I holding on simply because I’m afraid to let go and be alone?
You can’t expect to chill near the trash and not smell like garbage, watch your company!
-Antonia Light bourne
(CEO & Founder – eNue
Global)
Chances are, as you read those questions there are people that popped into your mind -- I know that’s what happened to me.
2. RESTORE
I know this seems out of sorts for this time of release and cleansing, but there are those that God assigned to your life that you need to reconnect with. These are the people that correct you in love, that look out for you, and tell you the truth when you really don’t want to hear it. You need them. Allow God to show you the relationships that need restoring; whether it is family, a friend or a colleague you have gotten close to, your relationships are important.
3. RELEASE
Some of us spend the majority of our lives waiting to exhale. We spend so much time being suffocated in relationships that no longer serve us and sometimes outright hurt us because we are too afraid to let go -- but you need to let go! Release every negative influence and everyone that either openly or secretly pulls you away from your God given purpose. As you seek God, He will begin to expose the false fellowships we are a part of and join us to those that build us up.
Keep up the clean texting, keep guarding what you meditate on in your heart, and remain conscious of those you spend your time with. If you are spending large amounts of your time with someone you’d never want to be like…Something is terribly wrong!
Today’s Challenge: Review, Restore and Release -- then watch God move!
DAY 4
WHISPER A PRAYER IN THE EVENING, KEEP YOUR HEART IN TUNE!
You’ve made it to day four, you should be so proud.
God was able to complete His creation of the material universe in four days. Though this may not seem like much, it is a significant amount of time.
By now, every ex-boyfriend, why-boyfriend and ‘that’ boyfriend has probably begun showing you an extra bit of attention. This is where it starts to get hard. You have probably started to feel like this challenge isn’t going to work -- so many rules to adhere to….
Maybe you don’t know if you’re ready…
You are!
We have spent way too much time sleeping with the enemy, literally.
Don’t let the pain of letting go distract you from the joy of holding onto God’s promises to you.
You are the beloved of Christ, don’t you dare pass that up to be loved by a man that cannot fully appreciate your worth. Better yet, don’t spend another moment of your time trying to give away the unfinished you!
Today’s Challenge
Pray a little, Pray A lot
Recite this prayer each evening before bed for the next 96 days
Praise to you, lover of my soul
Cleanse my heart from all desires that I have set above you and my mind from all thoughts that are not ordained by you.
As I wait, give me the patience to know that you grant the desires of my heart according to your will. Give me satisfaction that I may be content in your presence. Hide my heart so deep in you that all who seek me will be divinely appointed. Remove every ill scheme against my mind and my heart and give your daughter the peace in her soul, love in her heart and might in her spirit to overcome.
In the name of your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.
Remember: You don’t have to be afraid to reach out if you need someone to pray with you or for you. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you face any challenges.
DAY 5
LISTEN HONEY YOU’VE GOT THIS, THROUGH CHRIST!
Today, you’ve begun to adjust to clean texting and social media filtering. You’ve begun looking at relationships differently and this is good, but I have two warnings for you as we proceed:
Do not get scared and DO NOT get comfortable!
Before we get into that, let me share an experience with you that happened to me. As I began filtering my social network accounts, I unfriended and unfollowed a guy that I used to talk to. As a result, he sent me an extremely hateful message. I mean, he straight up cursed me out! He couldn’t understand why I didn’t want him in my life anymore and couldn’t handle being cut loose. I’m sharing my own experience to prepare you:
Expect to be attacked from those you walk away from..
Know that in the process of moving on you will have to detach yourself from some people and they don’t all leave in peace. Some will be left behind kicking, screaming and clawing at you but run! Run away from them and don’t let their anger cause you to lose sight of what you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes distance allows you to see people more clearly for who they are and not who you desire them to be.
Don’t get scared
The more you seek God, the more the enemy seeks to destroy you.
Every level will bring forth new attacks, but with each new attack comes forth a new level of strength that God reveals in you. Listen honey, you’ve definitely got this! The God we serve is greater than any attack; we are never destroyed by the enemy. Our battle has already been won. The wars we fight are overcome in the spirit and we just have to be diligent, stay prayed up and in the word of God.
Don’t get comfortable
I know it feels good resisting temptation and your confidence is boosted every time you say no. But don’t get cocky and don’t you think for a minute that the obstacles you have overcome have been on your own strength. Without God we are nothing. We are made strong through His spirit alone and the minute we begin to believe our own righteousness, we run the risk of falling flat on our faces into sin. Remain humble, remain diligent, and remain dependent on God.
New levels mean we pray more not less.
Today’s Challenge
Read your Bible, Pray Every Day
Read your bible more frequently and seek Him more earnestly than you did before. In order to reach new levels of intimacy with Christ we must first reach a new level of commitment to seeking His face.
DAY 6
THERE’S NEVER A RIGHT TIME TO SAY GOODBYE…
I don’t like losing -- anything! So it’s needless to say that I hate saying goodbye to those that mean something to me.
I tried that whole ‘not caring’ thing -- never love and never get hurt right? Wrong. The fact that we are consciously moving into relationships with a mind-set to hold back a great portion of our affection only shows how damaged we truly are. I haven’t been able to trust anyone to love me fully and have honestly never felt that anyone would love me enough to stick around. It is only now that God has brought me to a place where I have begun to feel worthy of