A Memory for Love

A Memory for Love

The Grandmasters

by Linzé Brandon

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2024 (c) Lizette de Vries-Venter

ISBN 9798201228538

Cover

Design: Lizette de Vries-Venter

Copyright Notice, Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Muses and Broomsticks (Pty) Ltd is recognised as the publisher

of A Memory for Love.

email: muses.brooms@gmail.com

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

About the Author

Chapter 1

You need a break, Zarina.

Zarina sa'Der frowned at Captain Ross. Her work as a category one memory witness was exhausting, it was true, but she didn’t feel the need to take a break at this time. Her ability made her unique and, as a result, the first choice when a memory read was required by the security service. There were only three active memory witnesses; the other two were category two, but they all helped the victims of violent crimes.

A momentary flash of the last case flew through her standard human memory, making her pause in her outright refusal to obey. The case had been difficult. Excruciating even. All their cases were, that’s why the memory witnesses were needed. But this one had been worse than most. Having been trained since her early teens to do this work, she had thought that by now, she had seen the most violent cruelty the human race had to offer, until this.

Slowly shaking her head, she was thankful that her training included learning to purge the knowledge from her special memory. She couldn’t live with the nightmares of her cases, and perhaps the captain was right: it was time to take a break. Memory flashes were an indication that her meditation, which she used to clear her memory, needed more attention before she tackled another case.

Nodding toward the computer on the captain’s desk, she asked, Has the verdict been delivered yet?

Captain Ross looked at his computer screen. No. I think the jury is debating the sentences to be handed to these animals instead of deciding whether they are guilty.

Zarina returned his wry smile with one of her own. Animals were a kind way to describe these monsters and insulting to the wild four-legged inhabitants of their solar system. Animals were never cruel to their own offspring. Never tortured them. Never made them anything more than slaves who had to work for their right to eat.

Shaken, she steadied herself. The computer beeped.

Captain Ross nodded at the screen. The verdict is in, and the maximum sentence will be handed down.

He glanced up at her. They were given hard labour. For life. No parole. Ever.

She frowned. Where?

This time, she smiled as he grinned at her. The captain was enjoying this. He was known to be a man dedicated to catching criminals so that they could be brought to justice. He was a pain to his detectives when he insisted on doing everything by the book. To quote him: If the tiniest thing slips through, it sets up a chance that the accused can be released on a technical detail. That can never be allowed.

Guess?

His voice drew her attention back to him.

Triple X.

Right the first time. He smirked. And it couldn’t be happening to a nicer group of people.

She shook her head at his sarcasm. But he was right. Triple X was a penal colony on a remote planet in their solar system. It had no variation in daylight, no seasons and as a result, nothing grew there. There were two iron ore mines which the prisoners worked. One for the men, another for the women. No shuttle or transport landed there. People and goods were delivered by teleprojection. The guards were machines. Incorruptible, indestructible and the colony was impossible to escape.

Simply stated - it was the personification of hell, irrespective of your religion.

Taking a relieved breath, Zarina nodded to her boss. I will go.

Lady Vinara looked at her long-time best friend. You need to get away. Take a vacation. She pursed her lips for a moment. When was the last time you had a vacation anyway?

Aidan glared at her over her desk. I don’t need a vacation.

Shaking her head, she got to her feet and reached over the desk to take his chin in her hand. Yes, you do. It’s been three suns since Elina and Sonja have died, and you never even gave yourself a day to just sit and mourn for them.

He pulled his face out of her hand, but she shushed him before he could reply. Don’t argue with me. I have known you too long to believe any crap you might spout. Yes, you loved them, Aidan. But you have to let go of the pain; it is eating you up. Being friends as long as we have, don’t you think I can tell by now that you are not happy? Hell, you aren’t even remotely alive. You function, yes. A little too well, don’t you think? You need to find some personal enjoyment outside of work, Aidan; otherwise, it will slowly kill your humanity.

His glare deepened as he watched her retake her seat, apparently unconcerned about the wrath he poured over her. Sitting back in his chair, he realised he was not going to get anything done with her on his case. She would not leave until he did or said something to appease her. A deep sigh escaped his chest as the anger floated out of him.

Vinara felt her heart soften. She loved him, but his unhappiness was killing her too. And if she was honest, the rest of the High Order members weren’t helping by the careful way they had been dealing with him.

Aidan had been the only High Order magician to lose family members, his mate and youngest daughter, in the war they had fought against the Wa'raki. They respected his feelings, but it was time to pull him back into the world of the living. It had become necessary, and as his best friend, she knew it was best coming from her rather than if the Grandmaster ordered his senior warrior to take some time for himself.

Aidan regarded the woman across his desk quietly. He had felt torn between his love for Elina and Vinara at one time, but it had changed in the last suns. Vinara could never be a mate to him, not because she had no interest in being joined, but because his love for her was purely that of a friend. It had taken some hard soul-searching since they had been lovers long before he had even met Elina, but what they had then was not what a man should feel for the woman in his life. There was no passion aside from their dedication towards their Order and their people; that was certainly no base for any kind of intimate relationship. He was too old for short-term affairs or fooling around.

He sighed again. Perhaps Vinara was right. It was time for him to join the living once again. It’s time to find something to live for once more. Magicians had a longer life expectancy than non-magic folk, and he needed to find meaning outside of work. Otherwise, he was going to turn into a real grump.

Vinara grinned suddenly. You’re already a grump.

He glared at her before smiling slightly, unaware that he had spoken aloud. But a lovable one, he countered.

She laughed as she got to her feet again and reached over the desk to pat his arm. No argument from me. Her laughter died away. Take the time, Aidan. I miss my friend. Go somewhere quiet and take the time to find pleasure in life again, please. But do it for yourself, not me. Not for your other children or the Order. Go find that thing that will make you smile again.

She gave him another pat and then left his office, gently closing the door behind her. He sat back and closed his eyes. It was at times like these where the love of a true friend could find the crux of a problem. Perhaps deep down, he knew too but had been denying it to himself.

A sudden sense of lightness came over him. It was a good thing that Vinara bullied him into this internal confession. He was not too old to find a new purpose in life.

* * *

The keys to the High Order retreat jingled in his pocket as he made his way to the transport terminal in Ikea. It took a few days to arrange for him to be away from the office, let his children know that he would be out of reach for a while and generally wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to take a break from everything for the first time in too many suns to remember.

The arrangements and everyone’s support to make it happen should not have surprised him as much as it did. Even his daughter-by-joining offered her sincerest wishes that he should enjoy his time away and not worry about anything. Those words had not been given lightly, and he knew them to be the truth. With his eldest and only son, Adrian, mated to a Future Master with precognitive abilities, there really was no reason for him to be worried.

He paused in the transport terminal to look around for his shuttle. There. Hitching his bag higher onto his shoulder, he started his vacation.

The journey to the retreat was short, but the shuttle had to make two stops on the way to drop off a family that lived on the edge of the protected forest. And it picked up a young woman who only bowed to him to acknowledge his position in the High Order before taking a seat at the back of the shuttle.

She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place her. She wore plain clothes, although the insignia of the Magicians Order graced her left arm as protocol demanded.

He looked down at his black robe. So used to wearing the uniform of his office, he didn’t even think to wear other clothes. He doubted he owned anything besides two sets of martial arts clothes he used to practice in the arena. His position in the High Order was more than just a job. Like the Grandmaster, to whom he acted as second-in-command, his election was for life. High Order members served their Order and their people first. Always.

A slight bump jerked his attention back to his surroundings. They had landed at the retreat.

The woman was still on the shuttle and was getting up. Although he was a gentleman born, he knew she would wait until he disembarked first as a sign of respect for his black robe. It was simply not worth the effort to try to persuade her otherwise. All magicians were trained, almost indoctrinated, to respect the members of the High Order and the protocols that prevailed when in the presence of such a member.

There was a lot of merit to wearing plain clothes, he decided. The insignia of his office, the black shield on his left arm, would be less noticeable. He would be treated as an ordinary magician. In that respect, he now understood Grandmaster Géra’s predilection for donning plain clothes to walk around the village, and play with the children he encountered.

As he had insisted, he found his way to the cabin furthest away from the main complex. He was here to relax, not socialise with others. He didn’t see which way the woman went as he made his way up the stairs to the front door that would be his for the next few weeks.

Zarina couldn’t believe with whom she was going to share the retreat. Lord Aidan was a man she had always admired. Like the Grandmaster, he was so well known that she would have recognised him anywhere. That he didn’t recognise her, aside from acknowledging her greeting, did not surprise her at all. Her work was primarily conducted behind the doors of protected safe places and courtrooms; she was not the public figure he was.

They had met before; all memory witnesses were required to introduce themselves to the members of the High Order when they graduated, but that was a long time ago. She had also never been involved in a magician’s criminal hearing which was usually judged by the High Order members themselves.

She set her travelling bag on the bed in her assigned cabin before going to the balcony overlooking the forest.

Her nights had been plagued with nightmares since the hearing, but with everything that had to be arranged, she hadn’t had the time to properly meditate. Since she required several hours for the meditation, it was too close to the evening meal to start now.

Her stomach also reminded her that it had been some time since she had last eaten.

The view from the balcony and the sweet sounds of the rustling leaves in the breeze would do for now. The sounds couldn’t clear her special memory, but they did help her to relax. Tension seeped away into the breeze as she watched the birds play amongst the trees. Fresh air replaced the city smells that had permeated her lungs.

A leaf landed on her left shoe. Laughing, she reached down to collect it. This vacation was exactly what she needed to find her centre and focus again.

How long she stood there just absorbing her surroundings, she couldn’t say, but she felt much refreshed by the time the bell announced the evening meal. As soon as she stepped outside, Lord Aidan joined her again.

Seems that we are almost neighbours, he remarked, pointing to his cabin a few metres to her left. Their cabins were positioned away from the others, and she wondered if he would be joined by his mate or lover. Although the members of the High Order lived a very public life, their family members did not, so she didn’t know if he was mated.

They didn’t speak much as they went to the dining area. It was a smaller, separate building not far away from their cabins.

She looked around, but there were no other people.

Lord Aidan must have noticed her curiosity because he touched her shoulder to direct her towards the entrance. This part of the retreat is for the exclusive use of the High Order, so we have our own dining area.

She touched her mouth. Oh, dear. Should I move? She frowned a little. Was I given the wrong key?

Inside, he waited until she was seated before he replied. Don’t worry about it. I doubt any of my colleagues will use the facilities very soon.

I don’t want any trouble. Perhaps I should move anyway.

He nodded to the young server waiting with their food. I want you to stay. I wished for peace and quiet, but it would be nice to see a friendly face now and then. If you moved to another cabin, I would be completely alone.

She couldn’t help laughing. He made it sound like it was a death sentence. So, I would be doing you a favour?

He grinned as he lifted his glass of blue apple wine towards her. Exactly.

Zarina touched her glass to his as they toasted their vacation. Lord Aidan turned out to be an excellent companion. He was easy to talk to, and his sense of humour had her in stitches on more than one occasion.

As they sat enjoying their coffee, she ventured a question. My lord, is your family joining you soon? To her mind, he had to be mated. No man this handsome and influential could be single.

When he didn’t answer, she opened her mouth to apologise for her impertinence; he was, after all, Lord Aidan, the senior warrior in the High Order and answerable only to the Grandmaster. Before she could, he replied in a low voice. "I lost my mate and youngest daughter in the war against the Wa’raki.’

Her throat closed up. Were there any words to express the way she felt for him? In the end, she simply rested her hand on his arm. They must have been special people.

He nodded. A look of remembrance on his face. They were.

* * *

Back in his cabin, he removed his robe and boots before stepping out onto the balcony. He had enjoyed Zarina’s company, but her innocent question brought back so many memories that he had to excuse himself. It hadn’t been easy sharing even that little. He leaned on the railing as he remembered that day.

The Grandmaster and the dragon warriors had taken point as their first line of defence, leaving him and the other senior warriors in charge of their village, where the School of Magic and Knowledge housed the most powerful energy source on the planet. Their combat arena was the hub of all the warrior training. The avatar computer, Ariana, was the keeper of that facility.

She could learn and practice against any magician, honing their skills in the arena. She could also barrier the building against almost any magical threat. The Wa’raki hadn’t used magic; they had made war with bombs and missiles packed with so much devastation that they could have destroyed Ariana’s power source, destroying the entire planet. It was not easily accessible, being housed underground. And yet, it would have taken only one bomb or missile to penetrate their defences, and the whole planet would have been destroyed.

Adrian and Daérini had been with the Grandmaster’s group, while his mate and daughters were in the city where the threat was estimated to be the lowest. The capital, Ikea, sustained minimal damage as the Wa'raki had been after Xa'an’s resources. But the outskirts where his family had been were not so fortunate.

Three suns and still the horror of finding the bodies of Elina and Sonja made him physically ill. A medical team had found Deana in time to take her to the medical centre. Her injuries had not been that bad, although she had suffered a nasty concussion when the building had collapsed. She hadn’t known that her mother and sister had died until much later.

He rubbed his face. He hated war. It was always the innocents that suffered. They had lost so many people. So many children that had to be taken care of. Shelters had to be erected where the destruction had been at its worst. Food and water that required distribution. Medical personnel that needed help tending to the injured.

His mind had been numb by the time he could slow down and rest. He had stood by two graves, and yet their loss had not hit him until long after. Work kept him busy. The war required that they needed to train more warriors. He and Géra had visited other planets in the Nations of Peace alliance to help where they could.

Busy. He had been simply too busy to grieve for the women he had loved. And Sonja had barely reached that age where she could be described as a woman. Taken away when her life had still been ahead of her.

His head fell to his hands. So much pain. And somehow, he had managed to keep everything inside. No wonder Vinara had accused him of being a grump. He was turning into one.

With his eyes closed, he no longer fought the feelings of loss and helplessness. Or the anger directed at himself for not being there, although he would not have been able to do anything to prevent the tragedy. He knew that, but emotions were not logical. They didn’t understand reason.

A part of him had been taken away, and only now did he allow the realisation of it to rip open the festering wound and let the grief bleed out.

Zarina felt terrible. It had been such a stupid thing to ask. Now she had gone and ruined his whole vacation, and hers too, because he would probably not talk to her again. She sighed and got up.

She thanked their quiet servers for the excellent meal and returned to her cabin. What she needed right now was a hot bath and some sleep. It was not that late yet, but she was not in the right frame of mind to meditate tonight.

Her training, as weird as it seemed to others, included ways of getting information out of people. Yet tonight, she ignored her instincts.

Opening the taps, she added soothing bubble crystals to the water before undressing and putting up her braid.

Lying back in the bath, she closed her eyes. Immediately, the image of Aidan came to mind. But one of him smiling and laughing with her. With grown-up children, he was not as young as she, but magicians aged slowly because their power source continuously regenerated their bodies if they looked after themselves. And he obviously did. Tall, like most warriors, he wore his robe with pride. The robe hid most body flaws, but she doubted that he had any. He moved with too much control to be anything but in top physical shape.

She could see where Adrian got his looks from. As a detective with the security service, she had worked with him once or twice, but for some reason, she had never felt this way about him. It was as if he was too handsome, too sophisticated to notice a plain girl like her.

And yet, Aidan had noticed her. He might not yet have made the connection between her and her job, but he had listened to her. They were worlds apart, and yet her admiration for him had grown.

Now he was a person to her, not just an influential leader to their people. A person who had suffered a tremendous personal loss. On some level, she knew that he was lonely. It reached out to her in the way he smiled. It was a smile, but the joy of the act seemed lacking somehow. He had laughed at her silly jokes, but there was no abandon in his laughter. Lord Aidan Crea was a man who had been grieving in silence for a long time.

Before the water got too cold, she bathed and got out. A nightgown and hair brush later, she turned out the light and got into bed.

Chapter 2

Aidan ignored the cold stones numbing his ass and the rigid bricks biting into his back. They were of no consequence. The true pain had been inside of him so long that he hardly recognised himself. Had grief done this? That didn’t feel right, so he must have been doing it to himself. Albeit subconsciously. Until now, he had not been ready to move forward. Someone once said that life was for the living, and tonight, he finally felt ready to take that first painful step.

With a groan, he got to his feet. Damn, the cold had made his muscles stiffer than he realised. Stretching his arms, he paused.

What was that?

He moved to the end of the balcony. There it was again. It sounded like...

Ignoring his bare feet and the cold, he jumped over the balcony railing and took a moment to find his balance before he ran. As he came closer, his anger cleared the fog from his mind. No one hurt a woman. Seconds later, he was over the balcony railing and bursting through the flimsy balcony door.

Just as the light came on.

The door panels, fortunately not made of glass, crashed. The impetus drove him to the bed. He almost fell on top of her.

Shrinking back on the bed, Zarina watched it all with wide eyes.

Feeling undignified, Aidan managed to control his body enough to stop at her bedside. He looked around the room. Everything looked fine, but he was sure she had screamed earlier.

Where is he?

She frowned at him. Who?

The man who attacked you. Then he saw traces of tears on her face. He sat down on the bed. Are you alright?

Wiping her eyes with the sheet, she turned her head away. I am fine. There is no one here. I have nightmares sometimes, that’s all.

It was his turn to frown. She looked so young with her hair down and wearing a white nightgown. Then his brain clicked.

Your last court case?

Her head snapped back to his. You know who I am?

Yes. I finally remembered why you looked so familiar. Didn’t you learn how to purge your memories so that you don’t have nightmares?

She shrugged. The case was long, and I didn’t do all my meditations as I should have. It just caught up with me. I will be fine after I start working at it tomorrow.

Confident that there was no real threat, he got up.

She grabbed his wrist. I am sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to remind you of painful things.

He sat down again. She had pushed the bed right up to the wall. Sonja used to like to do the same, much to Elina’s chagrin, who couldn’t understand the child’s need to do that. He watched Zarina sit up and make herself comfortable against the wall. Pushing back on the bed, he did the same.

He rested his head against the wall. It’s the reason I came here. I have been denying my pain for far too long.

It was an unusual situation. They were practically strangers, yet he felt comfortable sitting on her bed in the middle of the night talking about things he had never discussed, even with his best friend.

Would you like to talk about them?

He opened his eyes again. There was a gentleness in her voice that he found very soothing. Her face showed only compassion as if he could say anything, and it would still be alright.

My lord?

He winced slightly. Please call me Aidan.

Her eyes grew wide. I cannot do that.

We are alone here. Surely, there is no need for such formality between friends.

Her smile lit up her whole face and added another balm to his pain.

Friends. Yes, I like that. I would be honoured if you would be so kind as to do the same for me.

Her formal words suddenly meant so much more than if anyone else uttered the same request. Their lives had so many rules and formal addresses were