Santa Claus Quotes

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
― George Carlin

“The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities. The theologians, taking one with another, are adept logicians, but every now and then they have to resort to sophistries so obvious that their whole case takes on an air of the ridiculous. Even the most logical religion starts out with patently false assumptions. It is often argued in support of this or that one that men are so devoted to it that they are willing to die for it. That, of course, is as silly as the Santa Claus proof. Other men are just as devoted to manifestly false religions, and just as willing to die for them. Every theologian spends a large part of his time and energy trying to prove that religions for which multitudes of honest men have fought and died are false, wicked, and against God.”
― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report

“On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.”
― david sedaris

“By first believing in Santa Claus, then the Easter Bunny, then the Tooth Fairy, Rant Casey was recognizing that those myths are more than pretty stories and traditions to delight children. Or to modify behavior. Each of those three traditions asks a child to believe in the impossible in exchange for a reward. These are stepped-up tests to build a child's faith and imagination. The first test is to believe in a magical person, with toys as the reward. The second test is to trust in a magical animal, with candy as the reward. The last test is the most difficult, with the most abstract reward: To believe, trust in a flying fairy that will leave money.

From a man to an animal to a fairy.

From toys to candy to money. Thus, interestingly enough, transferring the magic of faith and trust from sparkling fairy-dom to clumsy, tarnished coins. From gossamer wings to nickels... dimes... and quarters.

In this way, a child is stepped up to greater feats of imagination and faith as he or she matures. Beginning with Santa in infancy, and ending with the Tooth Fairy as the child acquires adult teeth. Or, plainly put, beginning with all the possibility of childhood, and ending with an absolute trust in the national currency. ”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey

“Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!”
― Francis P. Church

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
― Shirley Temple Black

“God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.”
― Bil Keane, Jeffy's Lookin' at Me

“We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.”
― Andy Rooney, Sincerely, Andy Rooney

“Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights.

But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow fires of the aurora.

To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the Important Sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn’t complain.

What's your excuse?”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

“In my country childhood, we had many Christmas traditions: the fun and adventure of cutting down a tree from our ranch, hilarious Christmas programs at the church and school, and fun-filled caroling around our small town. Our family dominated this holiday’s focus.”
― Larada Horner-Miller, Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir

“When I was four or five years old, my mom made me a beautiful white dress with red embroidery on the top for Christmas. I remember her laboring over it because sewing didn’t come naturally to her. I tried it on, and the gathered waistline with the fitted bodice just didn’t please her. It didn’t lie the way it should, so she ripped it out several times.”
― Larada Horner-Miller

“A traditional New Mexico Christmas differs from the rest of the world with four amazing traditions: tamales, bisochitos, empanadas, and luminarias. The first three Mexican specialties add delicious flavor to any meal, and the last one lights up our towns!”
― Larada Horner-Miller, Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir

“You believe in love, just as a child believes in Santa Claus or a fairy tale.”
“What is love then, if not a fairy tale meant for adults?”
― Abhaidev, That Thing About You

“On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde.

"Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis—that's what it means to me."

"Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores.”
― Milton Rokeach, The Three Christs of Ypsilanti: A Psychological Study

“You have a famous relative. Family tradition has it we descend from St. Nicholas.”
“Santa Claus? I thought he was make-believe.”
“He is, but the person Santa Claus is based on is real. St. Nicholas of Myra was a fourth-century bishop—and a fine human being. He served in Turkey.”
― Michael Benzehabe, Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe

“Isn’t Santa just a stand in for the society that has locked them up for formative years? Something that watches and judges, telling them that they got what they deserved based on their behavior? Surely they have to have noticed that Saint Nick, like the judicial system itself, tends to look more favorably upon rich children. He is fat, white, past middle age, and holds all the cards.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, A Creature Was Stirring

“Magic can be found everywhere, if you know how to look for it. ... And where there is magic, there was hope.”
― Matt Haig, The Girl Who Saved Christmas

“Father xmas is like the love from a prostitute, it doesn’t exist and it makes you spend loads of money.”
― Alain Bremond-Torrent, running is flying intermittently

“Santa Claus, Snowflakes, and Stocking Stuffers
Christmas is definitely here”
― Charmaine J. Forde

“Meet Me In Toyland by Stewart Stafford

Santa handed me the keys to Toyland,
And, placing them squarely in the palm of my hand,
He bid me go and have lots of fun,
With all kinds of everyone.

I skipped across the gingerbread bridge,
Yuletide coffee flowing down from the ridge,
To a Christmas tree consisting of mint,
Lit all around by falling star glint.

At the frosting gates of Castle St Nicholas,
Silver snake tinsel began to hiss,
As polar bears to a clockwork orchestra danced,
With elves as their partners gleefully entranced.

Multitudes of children whooped and cheered,
Forgetting all their doubts and fears,
Celebrating their gifts of toys,
With every kind of girl and boy.

Alas, our midwinter joy came to an end,
And I tearfully bid adieu to all my new friends,
And took a shooting star comet home,
Across the Northern Lights in the sky’s dome.

© Stewart Stafford, 2021. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“¿Cuántos osos polares tendrían que haberse cargado sus elfos para confeccionar unos ribetes como esos?
Pero no. La Navidad estaba fuera de límites. Nadie en su sano juicio o en su enfermizo desvarío, pensaría en cuestionar a su máximo representante. Santa contaba con inmunidad diplomática. Podía vestir un abrigo de pieles sin temor a que uno de esos animalistas pirados le vertiera encima una cubeta de sangre de osos polares.”
― Raff Minzer, Asesino de Santas

“Abrió los ojos y exhaló lentamente el humo del cigarrillo. Una madre que caminaba por la acera pasó delante de él. Cargaba en los brazos a un nene de no más de cuatro años que no le quitaba de encima una mirada boquiabierta.
Bob se preguntó si la decepción de ver a un Santa afeitado y fumando sería un trauma mayor que enterarse de la naturaleza imaginaria de su existencia.”
― Raff Minzer, Asesino de Santas

“Twelve days ain't enough to celebrate Christmas. as humans we must live each day helping others.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Giants in Jeans: 100 Sonnets of United Earth

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, Oh, what fun it is to give our own life away! Saint Nicholas did his part, so did Chris himself, Now it's time for us to be the happiness gateway.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Giants in Jeans: 100 Sonnets of United Earth

“Beware! Santa Claus is a fake profile!”
― Ljupka Cvetanova, Yet Another New Land

“Change begins when you realize that there are no hidden or buried treasures.
No Santa Claus nor genie.
Just you and your determination to succeed.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Night of a Thousand Thoughts

“You may believe you are above others, more intelligent, better, morally superior, more virtuous, more righteous, more genuine, but unless you have awareness, which is related to your pineal gland, Claustrum oil, and stimulated mainly by meditation and sunlight, these traits that only exist in your mind will soon disappear when you realize that you have been totally blind and oblivious to the real world you live in. That is why the pineal gland has been the target, from the beginning.”
― Jack Freestone

“Don't look for happiness, create it.”
― Penny Dodson, Santa Goes Surfing

“You can’t poke Mrs. Claus in the boob.”
“Why not? You poked me in the stomach.”
“I poked a pillow.”
“So did I.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Unless you’ve somehow turned into Dolly Parton in the last ten minutes.”
“You look more like Mrs. Doubtfire than Mrs. Claus.”
― Kortney Keisel, The Holiday Stand-In