Gail Carriger Quotes

“Oh, now, Ria, you malign me. I'm as honest as a rose garden is beautiful."

"And as full of dung," replied Sophronia without missing a beat.”
― Gail Carriger, Curtsies & Conspiracies

“He has been mad for you these many months, ever since you prodded him in the nether regions with a hedgehog.”
― Gail Carriger, Soulless

“She sifted, sighed, and stared up at the ceiling, trying to think about anything but Lord Maccoon, her current predicament, or Lord Akeldama's safety. Which meant she could do nothing but reflect on the complex plight of her mama's more recent embroidery project. Thins, in itself, was a worse torture than any her captors could devise.”
― Gail Carriger, Soulless

“The Earl of Woolsey was indeed completely nude. He did not seem particularly perturbed by this fact, but Miss Tarabotti felt the sudden need to close her eyes tight and think about asparagus or something equally mundane.”
― Gail Carriger, Soulless

“You, my child, will marry well. More than once." (...) The lady retrieved the cards and shuffled them back together into one stack in an attitude of dismissal.

Taking this as a sign her fortune was complete, Preshea stood. Looking particularly pleased with life, she passed over a few coins and gave Madame Spetuna a nice curtsy.

Mademoiselle Geraldine was fanning herself. "Oh, dear, oh, dear, Miss Buss. Let us hope it is widowhood and not" - she whispered the next word - "divorce that leads to your multiple marriages."

Preshea sat and sipped from a china cup. "I shouldn't worry, Headmistress. I am tolerably certain it will be widowhood.”
― Gail Carriger, Curtsies & Conspiracies

“He might have lost his mind, but never his fashion sense.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“After every unladylike action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“Consider the necessary, analyze the consequences, clean up the mess.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“It is a valuable thing for an intelligencer to be forgotten.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“I love him so very much. As Romeo did Jugurtha, as Pyramid did Thirsty, as-"
"Oh, please, no need to elaborate further," interjected Alexia, wincing.
"But what would my family SAY to such a union?"
"They would say that yours hats had leaked into your head," muttered Alexia, unheard under her breath.”
― Gail Carriger, Changeless

“Nice prong," said Sophronia after a moment.

Felix grinned and waggled his eyebrows lasciviously. "Thank you for saying so."

Sophronia was instantly suspicious. "You mean that isn't a ballistic exploding steam missile fire prong?"
"No such thing, my dear Ria, but it certainly sounds wicked, doesn't it?"
"Then what is it?"

He handed the evil-looking object over. "Ah, a portable boot-blackening apparatus with pressure-controlled particulate emissions, and attached accoutrement to achieve the highest possible shine. For the stylish gentleman on the go.”
― Gail Carriger, Curtsies & Conspiracies

“Great, Alexia thought, I have gone from soul sucker to electrical ground. The epithets just get sweeter and sweeter.”
― Gail Carriger, Soulless

“Shut your cake hole, you revolting young blot.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“We like the shadows. That's where all the power is.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“Trust is a lot to ask of someone.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“There was no way she was staying trapped with tea at a time like this.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“We're a team like tea and milk, or cake and custard, or pork and apple.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“He also grew a very large and scruffy beard, with which she was far less delighted.
"A man's virility is in his beard," he insisted.
To which Alexia replied, "And a woman's is in her décolletage. Yet you don't see me allowing mine to get out of control, now do you?"
"If wishes were balloons," was his only response.”
― Gail Carriger, Timeless

“It didn't feel sporting to shoot at a crazy person, even if that person was a vampire who'd agreed to the job.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“I hate missing everything. That's why I want to marry well and be a grand lady. Then I can host all the parties, all the time, and see everything that is going on always. How can you stand not knowing?”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“Evil genius-ness was like that--showy.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“For you, it's gossip. For me, it's action.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“Tonight I crash an airship. On purpose.”
― Gail Carriger, Manners & Mutiny

“We realy must work on our communitcation. Perhaps if you were not so constantly intrested in other forms of intimacy, I might actually have access to the information I need to survive with my temper intact!" Alexia poked at him with a sharp finger. "More talk, less bed sport.”
― Gail Carriger

“Elle and Olav had invited him into their bed. He’d declined, of course. Olav was hot, but Tris was not attracted to females, and it was bad form to participate in a sexual encounter with two when he was only interested in one. Everyone knew that. He thought this was likely a universal truth.”
― G.L. Carriger, The 5th Gender

“He will tell the galoi my story. My life away from them. And they will know what I have learned of sock shopping and noodle eating and cat keeping. And they will wonder at the differences in our universe. And because of you, they will see that there can be human somates, and human love and purple penises, and they will maybe talk a little more to humans. They will maybe open up their ships to visitors. And they will maybe consult your doctors for the secrets of human fertility. And they will maybe change. Because that is what zyga is for, in the end. Possibility.”
― G.L. Carriger, The 5th Gender