Duck Quotes

“Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

“Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face.”
― Manoj Arora, From the Rat Race to Financial Freedom

“Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck."
Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

“Let’s go see who can eat the most dumplings in the shortest amount of time. And duck! You really ought to try pressed duck! It’s a great delicacy.” Jem looked at Will, suppressing a smile. His friend glared back, but at last neither of them could hold back their laughter. Will said, “There is nothing so sweet as feasting upon the bones of my enemies. Especially with you at my side.”
― Cassandra Clare, Learn About Loss

“If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it could be a really ugly swan.”
― Timmothy Radman

“Because human beings suffer so much more than ducks.”
“You might not think so if you were a duck.”
― Michel Faber, The Book of Strange New Things

“To begin cooking duck at one in the morning is one of the finest acts of madness that can be undertaken by a human being who is not mad.”
― Manuel Vázquez Montalbán, La soledad del manager

“I once saw two ducks brawling, and I thought, "Hey, it's a pre-pillow fight." It was so violent that it made me want to capture their energy and take a nap.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Coaching is the only thing where the more someone else practices, the better you get. That’s my kind of hard work.
People always ask me, "Jarod, how come you don't have a Guinness World Record for getting others to do what you aren't capable of doing?"
I tell them I don't worry about awards, because I'm a buy-my-own-trophies kind of guy.
Plus, I'm too busy being the greatest duck farmer in history.
Then I give them the customer service number to call at Guinness, because that's a good question that demands to be answered.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“The best thing about an air sandwich is between the two slices of bread there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Have you ever noticed that neither cats nor dogs ever laugh? I used to think I was doing something wrong, that maybe I needed to start telling better jokes. But no, all I needed to do was get a different audience. That's when I discovered ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“Every time a duck talks to you, it says, "Quack." That's a species so advanced it has reduced the complexity of communication down to a one-word language.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“You and I don’t even have to speak to communicate. Body language is wordless telepathy. Collectively, ducks are The William Wordsworth of unwritten and unspoken poetry, so what are words really worth?”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“After watching my ducks swim, I started writing poetry using body language. If I could also time travel, I'd go back and ask Wordsworth, "What are words worth?”
― Jarod Kintz, One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“People have been stabbed over spicy chicken sandwiches. The duck farm industry could benefit from that kind of violence to help increase sales.”
― Jarod Kintz, One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“I don’t play music. In fact, I don’t play music so well that I’m The Mozart of Silence. You should witness how my ducks enjoy water dancing to my soundlessness.”
― Jarod Kintz, One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“At BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm, our customer service representatives work 24/7 to make sure you are satisfied. If nobody answers your call within five rings, like The Olympics logo, call back in four years.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Ducks quack like a cacophony of saxophone. At least, they sound like how I play jazz. If you're looking for an elevator musician, I am FOR HIRE.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“A library without books is not a library at all. Well, what is it then? It’s a room full of shelves to keep all your ducks.”
― Jarod Kintz, One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“At Sonic I just paid for two large Dr. Peppers. The curious part is I ordered one sweet tea. That's the kind of money-making transaction I need to adopt at BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm. Buy Two, Get One of Lesser Value.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Ducks communicate by quacking. Though it sounds like they are endlessly repeating themselves, what if their language functions at such a high cognitive level that it's so efficient that it reduces all thoughts down to one word, without the possibility of being misunderstood?”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“I wrote a duck dictionary. It's got one word in it that's defined—the word Quack. However, it's as thick as a normal dictionary, because that one word means everything.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“I've never had a spicy chicken sandwich worth getting stabbed over. But that's the kind of organic marketing experience I'd like to bring to duck farming.”
― Jarod Kintz, One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production

“Mold won’t grow on McDonald’s. So, if a lifeform with no brain won’t even eat their food, what’s that say about the intellects of McDonald’s customers? BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm caters to more discerning consumers.”
― Jarod Kintz, Duck Quotes For The Ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“My love is a dandelion in a tornado, and hers is a lit birthday candle in a hurricane. That's why my Duck Soup has that slight taste of WindFlower.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“I am the Mister Rogers Bannister of swimming coaches for ducks. My services are available in underwater vending machines in ponds all across The Ozarks.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“The dandelion gives all of its future to ride on the wind for one beautiful moment. I'll bet my flightless Pekin ducks would trade their life away to become one with the breeze.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“I dance like my legs are made of Jell-O. I know, exotic and romantic, right? But my dancing also now comes in Duck Soup Flavor, and is FOR SALE in small, medium, and buffet-style.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“Who would you rather buy your Duck Soup from, me or some other guy? OK fine, but what if that other guy is SOLD OUT? Then what? What do you mean you'll just go to Popeyes for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich?!”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

“I just had both of my knees replaced with Rubik’s Cubes, and I run like a clock using its hands to do push-ups. BearPaw Duck Farm’s Powdered Egg Substitute Protein Mix can also turn you into an Xtreme athlete.”
― Jarod Kintz, BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight