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Calvin And Hobbes Quotes

Quotes tagged as "calvin-and-hobbes" Showing 1-30 of 47
Bill Watterson
“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.”
Bill Watterson, Scientific Progress Goes "Boink"

Bill Watterson
“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”
Bill Watterson, There's Treasure Everywhere

Bill Watterson
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet”
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages, 1985-1995: An Exhibition Catalogue

Bill Watterson
“I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

-Hobbes”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Scientific Progress goes boink?”
Bill Waterson

Bill Watterson
“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson
“I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.”
Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

Bill Watterson
“The best presents don't come in boxes.”
Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Lazy Sunday Book

Bill Watterson
“Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.”
Bill Watterson, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

Bill Watterson
“Wake up, get up… Shut up. Listen up… Throw up…Mix up, Goof up… Hurry up…"

"How's your day?"

"Looking up.”
Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson
“Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.”
Bill Watterson

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