Not Cool Quotes

“The real American ideal of cool which is building businesses, protecting freedom at home and abroad, taking responsibility for your actions, and leaving other people alone to live as they damn well please.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The definition of cool: popularity without achievement. It’s how President Obama got the youth vote. Ask any kid who voted for him,”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“We are now surrounded, outmanned, and outgunned by a generation of phonies, grasping for acceptance through appearance and behavior that have no productive impact on the world.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The only candidate I'd allow to play my music would be Bigfoot, and unless we're talking about foraging for squirrels, he's notoriously apolitical.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“But for the rest of us, cool has a shelf life. If you’re a quarterback in high school, you’re cool. But ten years later, working as a sullen bouncer at the only nightclub in town, your “cool” is on life support. Which is why so many young girls who never said no end up with losers in pants hanging below their asses and no known income to speak of. These cads were charming in high school; now they’re as useless as shoulder pads on a snake.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Cool is identified only by defining others as uncool. The velvet rope excludes before it invites.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Hurricanes, after all, are the product of global warming, caused by man and his insatiable lust for SUVs (but not private jets).”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“When you start replacing facts with feelings, you disturb the equilibrium between right and wrong, confusing them as one and the same while encouraging more destructive behavior. As a stigma is erased, a behavior becomes more prevalent.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Incidentally, if you really think organic means pure, then you’re in for a helluva heartbreak. Organic farms do use pesticides and, as reported by Brian Palmer in Slate, organic wine needs eighty times more fertilizer than conventional vino.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The beauty of progress is that it makes it easier for you to carve out a space to be nonproductive.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The cities are full of women falling for the cool loser: the man trafficking in “edgy” so women cut him slack in his more loathsome behaviors. Christ, I know so many, it’s sad. Please accept my flaws (and pay my rent) because I can play guitar! Badly.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Embracing amnesty and open borders. Sure, other countries have borders (the ones most people are fleeing from), but discussing the possibility of an American border is smeared as racist—the”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“How we got to a place where men in skinny jeans rank higher in achievement and status than men in military-issued camouflage is a mental journey beyond the limits of my simple, sodden brain.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“But it’s no surprise that when someone truly awful dies, the cool break out in reverence. Which is what happened when Hugo Chávez croaked. On that day in March 2013, we saw a parade of misty-eyed celebrities and solemn left-wing hacks paying tribute to a dead guy. Out of the woodwork came a parade of Hugoslavians, tyrant-lovers who could overlook the heathen’s badness for the sake of coolness. See, someone can be truly evil. But if that person runs a country and you know that person well, it makes you kinda cool. It’s better to know Darth Vader than Doris Day. It’s pretty cool to brag that you just shared a burrito with a murderous despot, as opposed to a biscuit with Billy Graham. And so when Chávez bit the dust, who did we see? Sean Penn. Oliver Stone. Jimmy Carter. Joe Kennedy. All decorating the corpse with wreaths of blithering blather. And no one blathers blitheringly like that quartet. That’s the worst set of four since the last Who reunion.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“It’s an economy based on the tooth fairy.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Politics is way cool, as long as it’s progressive. Conservatives by nature hate politics and politicians.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“But without most of the stuff I just listed above, Whole Foods would not exist. That organic food didn’t arrive on the store shelves via an incredibly disciplined group of storks. I’ve seen the semis out in front and they don’t harness the power of yoga and haikus.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“All that matters in the world is to believe. Never mind evidence or facts; as long as you believe, then you’re admired for your passion. And in a modern world where every greenie, leftist, or prog embraces their iPads and iPods, as well as the organic food trucked in by, um, trucks—to Whole Foods—they still “believe” that man-made stuff is bad.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“In the world of pop stardom, what is mistaken for rebellion? A mediocre artist who spouts political beliefs that most freshmen in high school could have come up with after huffing Glade.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“So let me get this straight—we ban guns, but encourage movies glorifying guns?”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Over the long term, symbolic attempts at appearing cool end up replacing honest charity that actually helps people. In most cases, social consciousness, really, is a simplistic strategy to mask a lazy intellect and fulfill a desperate need for attention.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“It’s great that Mommy and Daddy did all that uncool work, so you could sit in your air-conditioned classroom and shit all over them, to the approving eye of your ponytailed professor.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“For a community to grow to a size that sustains those who don’t contribute to the growth of said community (whom I call leeches but society has chosen to call grad students), you need an immensely powerful creature to build a structure that allows those loafers to exist. But even a whale can only support so many parasites.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“So, in short: My pal got leprosy from an armadillo, one of God’s great creatures, a natural beast that roams this adorable planet. He did not get leprosy from a Twinkie, a Camel cigarette, or a gallon of gas. He got it from an armadillo’s ass.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The longer I live, the more I’m convinced the world’s just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The cool hate nothing more than when a genuinely original thinker rejects them. The cool need recruits to survive. Teens that reject them with a smile on their face destroy the most destructive movement in modern civilization. Rejecting cool, these brave kids help build the muscles of their ego and self-esteem that will be invaluable when they hit the real world. And when—inevitably—the real world hits them.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“There’s nothing cooler than putting the planet before people. The problem with this kind of coolness is that it’s wrong and often deadly. How many have died because it became cool to demonize DDT? Millions of lives were saved by that evil chemical, which killed malaria-carrying mosquitoes before the cool demonized it.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Social consciousness has become a gimmick to excuse reprehensible behavior. In fact, put “social” before any word, and it becomes “important” and “compassionate.” At its worst, social consciousness masks evil—it’s flimflam for the foul, a condemnation condom. Social consciousness won Al Sharpton invites to the White House, despite the cad’s ruining countless lives since his garish orgy of racial exploitation that began with the Tawana Brawley case in 1987.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“The point of cool is to erase your ability to say no. Saying yes buys you cool cachet, but it always ruins your life later.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You

“Imagine if all girls called a moratorium on cool. How amazing would it be for women to stop demeaning themselves with morose jerks and actually demand decent guys. Maybe the best tip is this: Treat every day as though you’re preparing for the prom. If it doesn’t meet your expectations, make other plans. I’m free most weekends.”
― Greg Gutfeld, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You