The Eternity Code Quotes

“I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and used the man's forehead to smash the nut. Both men were hired on the spot. They quickly established themselves as Arno Blunt's most reliable leiutenants for in-house work. They were not allowed outside Chicago, as this could involve map reading, something Pex and Chips were not very good at.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"

"That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney."

"Oh, really?"

"O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?"

"Very good. You should be on the stage."

"It's funny you should mention that."

The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . ."

"Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."

The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."

Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."

Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"

Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards.

"Actors," he said. "Highly strung.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Waitress: "And to drink?"
Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Together we will be unstoppable.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Jon Spiro might have “stuff ” that the military didn’t have, but Artemis Fowl had “stuff ” that humans had never seen.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“There's nothing more dangerous than a short guy with something to prove.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Certain battles were won by retreating.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Artemis took a chance on some calculated sarcasm. “Really, Spiro. Did you think I would attempt a break-in? Perhaps you thought I would fly in here with my fairy friends and magic your box away?” Spiro laughed. “You can bring all the fairy friends you like, Arty-boy. Short of a miracle that Cube is staying right where it is.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Butler shot one of the half dozen diners a fierce glare, just in case she might be planning something. The woman must have been at least eighty.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Pizza, pizza,
Fill up your face,
The thicker the pastry,
The better the base!”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Artemis hooked the speaker over one ear, adjusting the mike stem so it wound across his
mouth.
'Foaly? Are you listening?'
'Are you kidding?' came the reply. 'This is better than human soap operas.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“It was funny how quickly a person's priorities could change. This morning he had been worried about which loafers to wear with his suit, and now all he could think about was the fact that his dearest friend's life hung in the balance, And the balance was rapidly shifting.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“...his size drew attention
from everyone who happened to glance downwards. But Mulch quickly discovered that Mud
People could find a reason to distrust almost anyone. Height, weight, skin colour, religion. It was
almost safer to be different in some way.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Just a minute, Miss Frazetti, I'm getting dressed.'
'Hurry it up, Mo,' snapped Carla, her voice crackly through the cheap speakers. 'I'm getting old
here.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Pex and Chips were closer now, discussing the merits of various fictional characters.

'Captain Hook rocks,' said Pex. 'He would kick Barney's purple butt ten times out of ten.'

Chips sighed. 'You're missing the whole point of Barney. It's a values thing. Butt-kicking is not the issue.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“You're not a lawyer, are you?' asked the nurse suspiciously. 'One of those geniuses who gets a
degree while they're still in nappies?'
Artemis sighed. 'A genius, yes. A lawyer, hardly. I am, mademoiselle, a customer.'
And suddenly the nurse was all charm.
'Oh, a customer! Why didn't you say so? I'll show you right in. Would sir care for tea, coffee or
perhaps something stronger?'
'I am thirteen years old, mademoiselle.'
'A juice?'
'Tea would be fine. Earl Grey if you have it. No sugar, obviously; it might make me
hyperactive.”
― Eoin Colfer, Eternity Code, The-Artemis Fowl, Book 3