On Thursday, the latest radio audience figures reported that Johnny and Denise's breakfast show audience is down 7.6% year-on-year.

On Tuesday, Denise VanOuten reveals that the early mornings are making her ill and that perhaps her contract - due to run until next February - might need looking at again.

As the Johnny Vaughan breakfast show sinks faster than a Christmas Pudding in a lead-lined box, dragging the rest of Capital Radio with it, the Mail is suggesting that management are trying to add Denise Van Outen to his show.

Really? Clearly, the idea would hope that the old Big Breakfast magic would still be there, but - as anyone who saw Passport To Paradise would warn - that's not very likely to happen. Admittedly, there aren't many people still alive who saw Passport, but that in itself should count as a warning.

The Mail reckons that Van Outen is going to get six figures alongside Vaughan's seven figure salary - the image in our mind is of good money being thrown after bad. They'll be trying to get Zig and Zag to do the news by Easter at this rate.

The Spice Girls' comeback single is achieving the dubious distinction of shaming both them and Children In Need. Indeed, it's managed to pull of the feat of being the lowest-selling CIN single ever, which - considering its antecedents include Shane Richie doing I'm Your Man and Johnny Vaughan singing with Denise Van Outen - is quite a thing.

On the other hand, nobody really much wanted anything new from the Spices anyway, and the single sounds like an offcut from the disappointing third album.

Next year, get John Simm in to do something from the Spices back catalogue in character as the Master. Stop, perhaps.