Celine Dion, worried that perhaps Whitney Houston had been hogging the limelight with her death, has attempted to remind people of her existence with a heartfelt wailing:

"It's just very unfortunate that drugs and -- I don't know -- bad people, or bad influences took over," she said during the phone interview. "It took over her dreams, it took over love and motherhood."

"Taking pills to go perform and taking pills to wake up and taking pills to go to bed. It's so unfortunate," she said. "There's something that happens that I don't understand, and that's why I'm so scared. I'm scared of show business. I'm scared of drugs. I'm scared of hanging out. That's why I don't do parties and I don't hang out. That's why I'm not part of show business. Because we have to be afraid."

"I've always said you have to have fun and do music and you can never be part of show business because you don't know what it's going to get yourself into," Dion added. "You have to do your work and get out of there."

Celine Dion was talking about how she's so scared of being forced-fed drugs and made to dance like a dervish that she keeps well away from show business during, erm, an appearance on light-news show Good Morning America.

Because there's no better way to remain aloof from showbiz than turning up on a showbiz programme to talk about dead celebrity.

Celine Dion discovered there was a site called "ridiculous pictures of Celine Dion" and, rather than having a wry smile to herself, or thinking "gosh, yes, my advisors do allow me to appear in a number of stupid photos that make me look ridiculous", she had it closed down.

Thereby making herself look even more ridiculous, and drawing much more attention to the endeavour.

Perhaps the people who let her do those awful photos hugging babies are the same people that suggested a legally-drafted admission of a lack of self-awareness or sense of humour was the way to go with this one.

Meanwhile, here is a photo of a lovely horse:

[Horse under a Creative Commons licence by Freefoto]

Celine Dion took part in the Grammy mawkathon in honour of Michael Jackson. But she wasn't happy. No, no. She was angry:

[She] admits it was a "difficult" performance for her because she wanted Jackson to be there. She says, "I was mad that he (Jackson) was no longer with us and I wanted so much to make sure that his message... was going to be heard. All of us, we didn't really want to perform; we just wanted to carry his message. I was very honored that I was part of it. I will always love Michael Jackson very much."

It's not entirely clear what Michael Jackson's message was - to be honest, Celine, Derek Acorah was a lot more direct in getting across what the late Jacko was trying to say.

Of course, Acorah was making it up, and just sticking words into the no-longer-present mouth, but at least he was pretty clear what his made-up message was meant to be.

Dion isn't done being mad, though:

She adds, "I thought at one point that Michael was sick and I said, 'Y'know, it's not fair to go through this, being sick like that,' but when I saw the movie I was very mad because he was in top shape and I was very mad that he was no longer with us."

Dion is starting to sound more like she's scripting a witness impact statement than paying tribute to a dead colleague.

You've got to love the way that Celine would have been quite relaxed about Jackson dying at the age of 50 if he'd been unwell. That almost certainly isn't what she meant.

[Thanks again to Michael M]

Never mind John McCain's health records (old man sometimes sick; rich man gets good medical care - excuse me for not holding the front page), the really fascinating document we probably didn't need but now in the public domain is Celine Dion's water usage. She apparently gets through about sixty-five times the average amount of water used by people in her neck of the woods; her people chose not to comment which, I think, leaves us free to speculate just how many flushes she needs to chase the sausage away each morning.

Seemingly having forgotten telling its readers last week that Lisa Marie Presley was a fat lump, eating her way into an early grave, the Daily Mail trumpets today:

Oddly, the paper can't find space to mention that she actually wanted to keep her pregnancy to herself, and the "confirmation" came after she was forced to issue a statement about her pregnancy after papers - like the Mail - had started running a hate campaign against her. Or, indeed, that she's suing the Mail over the allegations.

Still, perhaps the Mail has learned its lesson and won't run spiteful pieces about women's looks for no real reason other than scoffing any more.

Oh, hang on: What's this?

Alright, then. Maybe not.

Celine Dion's Las Vegas residency has reached an end after five years. Dion has now played her last gig at Caeser's Palace, and only slightly over-exaggerated the importance of what was, to be honest, just another gambler's sop alongside the free lobster and comped rooms:

Ah yes, because the collapse of a cabaret show would be on the par with the drowning of one and half thousand people in ice-cold waters.

Celine Dion had announced a gig in Halifax, and was somewhat surprised that - rather than declare a Celine Dion day - the people of Halifax were a little disappointed. Or, rather, a newspaper columnist was.

Celine, however, threw a big fit and pulled the gig. Not quite grasping that people weren't that arsed about her coming in the first place, her husband-manager Rene Angélil suggested that Halifax should feel itself scolded:

Now, considering some of the things that people say about Celine Dion - references to her horse-faced honking, suggestions that she could play a role keeping shipping off rocks in thick fog, that sort of thing - this might be considered a little touchy.

It gets a worse, too:

Now, leaving aside the image of a woman so vain she's got her husband up tapping her name into Google News on a daily basis, is it really necessary after her surprisingly long and drawn out career to actually wait for the gig to happen to have a pretty good idea what its going to be like? It's not as if people come away from Dion gigs saying "blimey... spunkrock... you never know what you're going to get, do you?" It's surely fair enough to hear a woman who has been turning in the same performance for a decade or so is coming to town and to say "her music is insipid so it's a bit of a shame."

Still, it's good to know it only takes a negative preview in the local paper to keep her out of town. We know what to do.

The World Music Awards - older readers will remember these as an easy way for ITV to fill some of the deader night-time hours in the mid-1990s; laying claim to the "world" of the title solely by virtue of being held in a place that record company bosses fancied a tax-deductible trip to.

They're still going, you know. This year, they were in Monaco (lovely at this time of year, we understand), and they gave Celine Dion an award for "an outstanding contribution to music". And it's well deserved. She's not released an album for over 18 months, and the world of music really has been a better place for it.

Even more unlikely, Mika won five awards: new artist, male entertainer, pop/rock male artist and U.K. artist. These are, of course, awards handed out by the IFPI based on sales, so in a way you can't argue with them. But even so, let's argue with them: Mika? Are you serious?

Avril Lavigne - who, yes, we still feel has been eclipsed by the march of time - picked up bestselling pop/rock female artist and bestselling artist for the region of Canada.

Completing the comedy line-up, Akon took three prizes, although nothing for getting caught up in hilarious coincidences. Best male R&B artist, internet artist and artist from Africa were his prizes.

It says a lot about the IFPI worldview that "Canada" and "Africa" are both considered equal regions.

The other winners included:
* Pop Female – Rihanna
* Entertainer of the year – Rihanna
* Regional Award, U.S. – Justin Timberlake
* Regional Award, Australia – Silverchair
* Regional Award, China – Jay Chou
* Regional Award, Ireland – U2
* Regional Award, Middle East – Amr Diab
* Regional Award, Spain – Miguel Bose.
* Legend - Patti LaBelle

The sudden shuttling forward of the Britney Spears' Blackout release date might be less about the fear of internet leakage, reckons AndPop, and more to avoid a scheduling clash. With Celine Dion.

Drinking alcohol out of your baby's upturned head or whatever it is she's supposed to have done is one thing, but if you can't face down Celine Dion in a chart battle, it really might be time to consider that job as a barmaid she was supposedly considering.

Sooner or later, Timbaland's apparent inability to just pretend to be too busy is going to get the better of him. In fact, Timbaland electing to work with Celine Dion might be that very point.

Let's just preempt the comments box and say: Yes, we know Annie Lennox's Band Aid style single is in a good cause and, yes, it will raise a bit of money.

However, wouldn't it be better all round if Shakira, Joss Stone, Dido, Celine Dion, Pink, Fergie, Gladys Knight, Bonnie Raitt, Melissa Etheridge, KT Tunstall and Madonna all released a proper single - one that they might have released anyway - and gave the money from that to Nelson Mandela's 46664 Aids charity instead? Wouldn't that raise more money and, indeed, mean that the artists involved could feel a sense of actually contributing to the cause by redirecting some of their royalties, rather than just spending an hour or so making a record that nobody would really want for its own merits?

Apparently, Snoop Dogg is offering to produce My Little Pony singer Celine Dion, as (a) he finds working for his mates less than challenging and (b) since he can't go overseas anymore, he's got some spare time. Dogg says:

Or, failing that, with Sade or Celine Dion.

Seven days on No Rock and Roll Fun...

The ten most read articles this week:

1. Sarah Harding in her pants is sexy; Angelica Bell in her bra is wrong, says the Mail
2. Heather Mills nude in the present
3. Macca dates Guiness heir
4. Heather Mills nude in the past
5. Gay McFly naked performance
6. R Kelly's sex video to be shown in court
7. Is KT Tunstall a lesbian? Is she interesting?
8. Lily Allen changes on trains
9. Kerry Katona denies appearing in sex tape
10. Video of Britney Spears fooling with strippers?

More interestingly this week, REM announced they'd try their new stuff out in Bono's manor; Puff Daddy flew into a panic because a bloke asked him for a kiss; the Pet Shop Boys cheated death by being asleep; the Sony Radio award shortlist was announced and Brett Anderson released his solo debut.

You can read the whole week on one page or skim the week before in a single post.

Five years ago, arty types were invited to design a Belle & Sebastian cover; calling Bono as a character witness helped Peter Buck of REM get off his air rage charge; copy protection madness led to Celine Dion CDs breaking computers; Megadeath and Deacon Blue split; the great Jennifer Lopez sex video case was dropped following a confidential settlement; Earworm records called it a day and Branson sold half of V2 to a bank. Probably the wrong half.

You don't have to buy these, but you could:


Gorgeous box o'Gedge: Wedding Present Peel Sessions


Brett Anderson goes solo; finally gets to write about love and poison


We've not heard this Hilary Duff album ourselves, but if it's half as interesting at the Guardian suggests ("the best cuts here hold their own against Kylie, though the more apt comparison is Rachel Stevens' fantastic but underperforming solo album") it's worth a listen


We make this the fourth Stiff Little Fingers collection, but none the worse for that


Aptly named Crazy Mixed-Up Kid captures Joe Brown's work at Pye straddling music hall covers and the birth of rock and roll


June Tabor's Apples rewards the investment on the first track, The Dancing, which grew out of a project developing folk songs from the memories of care home residents


A "sexual history" of Michael Jackson - not, we're sure, a work full of half-formed guesses and idle speculation


Brian Eno revisits his 1995 diary. "June 23rd - decided to write my diary as if I was re-editing it ten years hence. Had some toast. Recorded sound of lift doors."


Peter Falk spins anecdotage out into an autobiography


Just in time for Captain jack's return to the motherseries - the last bits of Torchwood hit DVD

Damon Gough - he cares about the planet, you know:

"Everybody thinks and assumes we've never had it so good. I'm trying to juxtapose that with the fact that, all this is great, but there's a lot of fucking crap going on as well. There's a lot of the environment being damaged by us conveniencing ourselves with whatever technology or gadget there is and it's potentially damaging."

Presumably, then, it's a different Badly Drawn Boy whose music is currently soundtracking an advert for Hummers in the US.

While on the subject of adverts, how tough must things be for Celine Dion? This Christmas, she's been reduced to appearing in an advert for Walgreens (which is kind of like Superdrug's drunken uncle) in a bid to try and shift her perfumes. We don't know what her parfum smells like, but it's nothing like dignity.

Terrible news for anyone who had been hoping to pick up a terrible disease from Celine Dion (that is the only reason anyone goes to see her show, right?): her Las Vegas show has been put on hold until December 28th because she's being treated for Mycoplasma bronchitis, a contagious bacterial infection.

Music fans who had tickets for her shows said they weren't too upset, as they actually would have preferred to put hot chestnuts down their knickers and run through a room full of hungry squirrels than see the show anyway, although some Celine superfans expressed disappointment that the cancellation was going to prevent them from attempting to collect mycoplasma bronchitis spores from the air around Celine's head. "We believe they may be imbued with magical healing properties" said one, "or at least fetch a few bucks on eBay."

Jim McCabe brings this story of what is, in effect, the sound of the mighty falling: a report from Prince finally embracing his inner Wayne Newton and starting his residency in Las Vegas. As Jim points out, the rush to deny the Purple One is now entering a market where his peers are Celine Dion and Cirque Du Soleil is just a little too hasty.

This is, of course, an eyewateringly long list - and, actually, it's not even really "full" as it seems to be missing the polka and spoken word and bassoon trio categories, amongst others. Obviously, it's heartbreakingly poor - McCartney nominated for the Best album? He might just scrape in as 'best record Macca's made for ten years', but best album? Although it's fighting off the Emancipation of Mimi, Gwen Stefani's solo dud and U2's effort. If there's any justice, Kanye will walk it.

Keane will be delighted at their place on the Best New Artist list - it's interesting that you hear of all these acts supposedly going to break America, but the ones which really do fairly well always seem to be the quiet ones.

My Doorbell by the White Stripes a contender in "best pop perfomance" has probably even surprised Jack White - we know he tried hard, but even he must know he tried too hard.

But what's really surprising is the old names cropping up - Stevie Wonder, Kraftwerk; in one category there's Clapton, Springsteen, Young and Plant all jostling Rob Thomas for space - what sort of world is it where Thomas counts as a young upstart?


Album of the Year
Mariah Carey - The Emancipation of Mimi
Paul McCartney - Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
Gwen Stefani - Love, Angel, Music, Baby
U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Kanye West - Late Registration

Record of the Year
Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
Gorillaz - "Feel Good Inc."
Green Day - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl"
Kanye West - "Gold Digger"

Song of the Year
Rascal Flatts - "Bless the Broken Road"
Bobby Boyd, Jeff Hanna & Marcus Hummon, songwriters
Bruce Springsteen - "Devils & Dust"
Bruce Springsteen, songwriter
John Legend - "Ordinary People"
W. Adams & J. Stephens, songwriters
U2 - "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own"
U2, songwriters
Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal, songwriters

Best New Artist
Ciara
Fall Out Boy
Keane
John Legend
Sugarland

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Mariah Carey - "It's Like That"
Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone"
Sheryl Crow - "Good Is Good"
Bonnie Raitt - "I Will Not Be Broken"
Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl"

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
Jack Johnson - "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"
Paul McCartney - "Fine Line"
Seal - "Walk on By"
Rob Thomas - "Lonely No More"
Stevie Wonder - "From the Bottom of My Heart"

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal
Black Eyed Peas - "Don't Lie"
The Killers - "Mr. Brightside"
Los Lonely Boys - "More Than Love"
Maroon 5 - "This Love"
The White Stripes - "My Doorbell"

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
Black Eyed Peas & Jack Johnson - "Gone Going"
Foo Fighters Featuring Norah Jones - "Virginia Moon"
Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul - "Feel Good Inc."
Herbie Hancock Featuring Christina Aguilera - "A Song for You"
Stevie Wonder Featuring India.Arie - "A Time to Love"

Best Pop Vocal Album
Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway
Sheryl Crow - Wildflower
Paul McCartney - Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
Gwen Stefani - Love, Angel, Music, Baby

Best Dance Recording
The Chemical Brothers Featuring Q-Tip - "Galvanize"
Deep Dish - "Say Hello"
LCD Soundsystem - "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House"
Fatboy Slim & Lateef - "Wonderful Night"
Kylie Minogue - "I Believe in You"
New Order - "Guilt Is a Useless Emotion"

Best Electronic/Dance Album
The Chemical Brothers - Push the Button
Daft Punk - Human After All
Fatboy Slim - Palookaville
Kraftwerk - Minimum-Maximum
LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
Eric Clapton - "Revolution"
Robert Plant - "Shine It All Around"
Bruce Springsteen - "Devils & Dust"
Rob Thomas - "This Is How a Heart Breaks"
Neil Young - "The Painter"

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal
Coldplay - "Speed of Sound"
Foo Fighters - "Best of You"
Franz Ferdinand - "Do You Want To"
The Killers - "All These Things That I've Done"
U2 - "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own"

Best Hard Rock Performance
Audioslave - "Doesn't Remind Me"
Nine Inch Nails - "The Hand That Feeds"
Robert Plant - "Tin Pan Valley"
Queens of the Stone Age - "Little Sister"
System of a Down - "B.Y.O.B."

Best Metal Performance
Ministry - "The Great Satan"
Mudvayne - "Determined"
Rammstein - "Mein Teil"
Shadows Fall - "What Drives the Weak"
Slipknot - "Before I Forget"

Best Rock Song
Foo Fighters - "Best of You"
Weezer - "Beverly Hills"
U2 - "City of Blinding Lights"
Bruce Springsteen - "Devils & Dust"
Coldplay - "Speed of Sound"

Best Rock Album
Coldplay - X&Y
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
The Rolling Stones - A Bigger Bang
U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Neil Young - Prairie Wind

Best Alternative Music Album
The Arcade Fire - Funeral
Beck - Guero
Death Cab for Cutie - Plans
Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
The White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
Amerie - "1 Thing"
Beyoncé - "Wishing on a Star"
Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
Fantasia - "Free Yourself"
Alicia Keys - "Unbreakable"

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
Jamie Foxx - "Creepin' "
John Legend - "Ordinary People"
Mario - "Let Me Love You"
Usher - "Superstar"
Stevie Wonder - "So What the Fuss"

Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
Beyoncé & Stevie Wonder - "So Amazing"
Destiny's Child - "Cater 2 U"
Alicia Keys Featuring Jermaine Paul - "If This World Were Mine"
John Legend Featuring Lauryn Hill - "So High"
Stevie Wonder Featuring Aisha Morris - "How Will I Know"

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance
Mariah Carey - "Mine Again"
Fantasia - "Summertime"
Aretha Franklin - "A House Is Not a Home"
Alicia Keys - "If I Was Your Woman"
John Legend - "Stay With You"

Best Urban/Alternative Performance
Floetry - "SupaStar"
Gorillaz - "Dirty Harry"
Van Hunt - "Dust"
Damian Marley - "Welcome to Jamrock"
Mos Def - "Ghetto Rock"

Best R&B Song
Destiny's Child - "Cater 2 U"
Rodney Jerkins, Beyoncé Knowles, Ricky Lewis, Kelly Rowland, Robert Waller & Michelle Williams, songwriters
Fantasia - "Free Yourself"
Craig Brockman, Missy Elliott & Nisan Stewart, songwriters
John Legend - "Ordinary People"
W. Adams & J. Stephens, songwriters
Alicia Keys - "Unbreakable"
Garry Glenn, Alicia Keys, Harold Lily & Kanye West, songwriters
Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal

Best R&B Album
Earth, Wind & Fire - Illumination
Fantasia - Free Yourself
Alicia Keys - Unplugged
John Legend - Get Lifted
Stevie Wonder - A Time to Love

Best Contemporary R&B Album
Amerie - Touch
Mariah Carey - The Emancipation of Mimi
Destiny's Child - Destiny Fulfilled
Mario - Turning Point
Omarion - O

Best Rap Solo Performance
Common - "Testify"
Eminem - "Mockingbird"
50 Cent - "Disco Inferno"
Ludacris - "Number One Spot"
T.I. - "U Don't Know Me"
Kanye West - "Gold Digger"

Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group
Black Eyed Peas - "Don't Phunk With My Heart"
Common Featuring the Last Poets - "The Corner"
Eminem Featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent - "Encore"
The Game Featuring 50 Cent - "Hate It or Love It"
Ying Yang Twins - "Wait (The Whisper Song)"

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Ciara Featuring Missy Elliott - "1, 2 Step"
Common Featuring Kanye West & John Legend - "They Say"
Destiny's Child Featuring T.I. and Lil Wayne - "Soldier"
Jay-Z Featuring Linkin Park - "Numb/Encore"
Gwen Stefani Featuring Eve - "Rich Girl"

Best Rap Song
50 Cent - "Candy Shop"
Kanye West - "Diamonds From Sierra Leone"
Black Eyed Peas - "Don't Phunk With My Heart "
The Game Featuring 50 Cent - "Hate It or Love It"
Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara and Fat Man Scoop - "Lose Control"

Best Rap Album
Common - Be
Missy Elliott - The Cookbook
Eminem - Encore
50 Cent - The Massacre
Kanye West - Late Registration

Best Song Written for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media
Josh Groban - "Believe" (from "The Polar Express")
Glen Ballard & Alan Silvestri, songwriters
The Arcade Fire - "Cold Wind" (from "Six Feet Under: Volume 2 - Everything Ends")
The Arcade Fire, songwriters
Wyclef Jean - "Million Voices" (from "Hotel Rwanda")
Jerry Duplessis, Andrea Guerra & Wyclef Jean, songwriters
Tom Petty - "Square One" (from "Elizabethtown")
Tom Petty, songwriter
Danny Elfman - "Wonka's Welcome Song" (from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory")
John August & Danny Elfman, songwriters

Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media
"Beyond the Sea" (Kevin Spacey)
"Napoleon Dynamite" (Various Artists)
"No Direction Home: The Soundtrack - Bootleg Series, Vol. 7" (Bob Dylan)
"Ray" (Ray Charles)
"Six Feet Under: Volume 2 - Everything Ends" (Various Artists)

Best Score Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media
"The Aviator" (Howard Shore, composer)
"The Incredibles" (Michael Giacchino, composer)
"Million Dollar Baby" (Clint Eastwood, composer)
"Ray" (Craig Armstrong, composer)
"Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" (John Williams, composer)

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical
Danger Mouse
Demon Days (Gorillaz)

Nigel Godrich
Chaos and Creation in the Backyard - Paul McCartney

Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis
"Be Blessed" (Yolanda Adams)
"Dance With My Father" (Celine Dion)
"Harajuku Girls" (Gwen Stefani)
"Never Too Much" (Mary J. Blige)
"Nobody Cares" (Deborah Cox)
"Pure Gold" (Earth, Wind & Fire)
"These Boots Are Made for Walkin' " (Jessica Simpson)

Steve Lillywhite
How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (U2)
Mr. A-Z (Jason Mraz)

The Neptunes
"Already Platinum" (Slim Thug Featuring Pharrell)
"Hollaback Girl" (Gwen Stefani)
"Let's Get Blown" (Snoop Dogg)
"On & On" (Missy Elliott)
"Say Somethin' " (Mariah Carey Featuring Snoop Dogg)
"Touch" (Omarion)

Best Short Form Music Video
Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara and Fat Man Scoop - "Lose Control"
Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul - "Feel Good Inc."
Jamiroquai - "Feels Just Like It Should"
Martina McBride - "God's Will"
Sarah McLachlan - "World on Fire"

Oh, good lord; apparently Rachel Stevens is in such a panic about her struggling sales she's considering getting James Blunt in to write for her. Which would be like taking an ailing career, and putting a huge pillow over it until it is quite dead.

Yes, Rachel, a Blunt tune might sell squillions - but do you really want to be Celine Dion? Is the price worth the deal?

We're sure the News of the World only has the best interests of "brave" Tran Thi Thao Nguyen at heart, but we're not sure quite what the point is of making her go through the alleged loss of her virginity to Gary Glitter is right now. Of course, the paper could argue that it's not going to prejudice Glitter's trial, but even so... what is exactly gained by making a young girl recall the night she was raped in lurid detail? It's already well established that Glitter is a bit of a monster; surely the NOTW doesn't find this whole story titilating, does it?

Talking of News of the World, we were very surprised to see the top banner on their website described with the following alt text:
"Sellmystory,sellastory,gotastory,cashfromystory,payformoremystory,
exclusive,scoop,worldexclusive,exclusivepicture,celebrity,scandal,kissandtell,
kissntell,parishilton,davidbeckham,victoriabeckham,soccerstar,filmstar,tomcruise,
britneyspears,amazingstories,I'mACelebrity,celeb,star, StrictlyComeDancing,maxcliffordXFactor,BigBrother,Soaps,Music, Sport.
Ali Landry,Alicia Silverstone,Alyssa Milano,Amanda Peet,Angela Schijf,Angelina Jolie,Anna Friel,Ashley Judd,Bridget Moynahan,Brooke Burns,Brooke Satchwell,
Brooke Shields,Calista Flockhart,Cameron Diaz,Carmen Electra,Cate Blanchett,
Catherine Bell,Catherine Zeta-Jones,Charisma Carpenter,Christina Applegate,Christina Ricci,Claire Danes,Claire Goose,Clea Duvall,Courteney Cox,Courtney Throne Smith,
Demi Moore,Denise Richards,Donna D'Errico,Drew Barrymore,Elizabeth Hurley,Elisabeth Shue,Erika Eleniak,Emma Harrison,Gabrielle Anar,Gena Lee Nolin,Gillian Anderson,
Gina Gershon,Gwyneth Paltrow,Halle Berry,Heather Locklear,Hudson Leick, Isla Fisher,Izabella Miko,Jamie Lee Curtis,Jenny McCarthy,Jennifer Aniston
LoveHewitt,Jeri Ryan,Jessica Alba,Jessica Biel,Julia Roberts,Kate Winslet,Katie Holmes,Kim Basinger,Kimberley Davies,Kirsten Dunst,Lisa Kudrow,Liv Tyler,Lucy Lawless,Lucy Liu,Lynda Carter,Martine McCutcheon,Meg Ryan,Melissa Joan Hart,Mena Suvari,Michelle Pfeiffer,Natalie Portman,Neve Campbell,Nicola Charles,Nicole Kidman,Phoebe Cates,Piper Perabo,Rebecca DeMornay,Rebecca Gayheart,Reese Witherspoon,Rosanna Arquette,Salma Hayek,Samantha Janus,Sandra Bullock,
Sarah Michelle Gellar,Shannen Doherty,Shannon Elizabeth,Sharon Stone,Sophie Marceau,Stacey Dash,Teri Hatcher,Tia Carrere,Tori Spelling,Traci Lords,Uma Thurman,Vivicia Fox,Winona Ryder,Yasmine Bleeth, Alec Baldwin,Ben Affleck,Brad Pitt,David Boreanaz,David Duchovny,Dylan McDermott,Ewan McGregor,Ethan Hawke,James Dean,Johnny Depp,Jude Law,LeonardoDiCaprio,Matt Damon,Matt Le Blanc,Mel Gibson,Nicholas Cage,Scott Baio,Tom Cruise,Will Smith,Adam Rickitt,Andrea Corr,Beyonce Knowles,Billie Piper,Celine Dion,Christina Aguilera,Courtney Love,
Dannii Minogue,Emma Bunton,Faith Hill,Foxy Brown,Gary Barlow,Geri Halliwell,Janet Jackson,Jennifer Lopez,Jessica Simpson,Justin Timberlake,Kylie Minogue,Lauryn Hill,LeAnn Rimes,Louise Nurding,Mariah Carey,Madonna, Mandy Moore,Mel C,Melanie Blatt,Natalie Imbruglia,Nicole Appleton,Rachel Stevens,Reba McEntire,Ricky Martin,Robbie Williams,Ronan Keating,Sean Combs (Puff Daddy),Shania Twain,Shaznay Lewis,Vanessa Mae,Victoria Adams, Whitney Houston,A1,All Saints,Atomic Kitten,Backstreet Boys,Bewitched,Boyzone,The Corrs,Five,Girl Thing,Hanson,S Club 7,The Spice Girls,Steps,Westlife, Cat Deeley,Daisy Fuentes,Denise Van Outen,Donna Air,Emma Ledden,Gail Porter,Katie Couric,Sara Cox,Tracy Shaw,Ulrika Jonsson,Zoe Ball, Elaine Lordan,Sid Owen,David Dickinson,Sheree Murphy,Jilly Goolden, David Blunkett, Kimberley Davies,Jenny Frost,Anthony Costa,Carol Thatcher,Jimmy Osmond,Darren Gough,Patsy Palmer,Colin Jackson,James Martin,Bill Turnbull,Zoe Ball,Will Thorp,Dennis Taylor,Fiona Phillips,Gloria Hunniford,Jaye Jacobs,Siobhan Hayes,Shayne Ward,Phillip Magee,Nicholas Dorsett,Chenai Zinyuku ,Chico Slimani,Brenda Edwards,Maria Lawson,Andy Abraham,4 Tune,The Conway Sisters,Addictiv Ladies,Journey South,Orlaith McAllister,Anthony Hutton,Makosi Musambasi,Sam Heuston,Jade Goody,
Shell Jubin,Vanessa Layton-McIntosh,Nadia Almada,Brian Rowling,Kate Lawler,Michelle Bass,Lesley Sanderson,Craig Phillips,Maxwell Ward,Saskia Howard-Clarke,Jessie Wallace,Leslie Grantham,Michelle Ryan,Joe Swash,Steve McFadden,Tina O'Brien,Nikki Sanderson,Samia Ghadie,Pete Doherty,Kerry Katona,Liam Gallagher,Noel Gallagher,Emma Bunton,Will Young,Gareth Gates,Danni Minogue,Geri Halliwell,David Walliams,Matt Lucas,Sharon Osbourne,Louis Walsh,Simon Cowell,Chris Evans,Billie Piper,Christopher Eccelston,David Tennant,Kate Thornton,Chris Moyles,James Nesbitt,Ant McPartlin,Dec Donnelly,Gavin Henson,Kevin Pieterson,Andrew Flintoff ,John Terry,Steven Gerrard,Ricky Hatton,Ryan Giggs,Ashley Cole,Jermaine Pennant,Joey Barton,David James,Sol Campbell,Lee Bowyer,Cristiano Ronaldo,Paul Gascoigne,sven,Rio Ferdinand,David O'Leary,Chris Eubank,Lee Sharpe"

The point of alt text is to make webpages easier to follow for people who use screenreaders or who surf with images switched off. Surely Rupert Murdoch's sunday title wouldn't be attempting to use an accessability feature in a bid to rig its position in the search engines, would it?

It was inevitable, following the discovery that Sony-BMG CDs used virus-like root kits to conceal it's heavy-handed anti-piracy programs from the PC owners upon whose machines it was installed unrequested, that the law would become involved. And so now Sony-BMG are facing three lawsuits.

In California, Alan Himmelfarb is petitioning for a ban and damages for any Californians who've installed the stuff by mistake. That, potentially, could mean Sony-BMG having to pay for the removal of the malignant software - which, because it's hard to take it off without ruining the CD driver software on some PCs, could be enormously expensive.

Meanwhile, in New York Scott Kamber is getting together a class-action lawsuit. And the Electronic Freedom Foundation is also talking of action.

In Italy, the local digital rights lobby Electronic Frontiers Italy, is calling for a government investigation.

It's all starting to shape up to be expensive for Sony, if only in the costs of having to co-operate with all these investigations across the globe, and in the effects of the bad publicity. And has this stupid, stupid software actually saved them any single sale? It seems unlikely, and even if it has, compared to the millions the botched job of copy protetction is going to burn through for them, it certainly won't have been a profitable decision.

This is, remember, more than just a copyright story. Sony-BMG is a public company, which means its got investors who could include your pension fund, for example. And yet its got a board which is sanctioning this sort of costly mistake time and time again. These aren't just culturally blindsided decisons being made - they're astonishingly poor business decisions as well. A company which can wade itself into this sort of a mess probably isn't the place to be putting your life savings to work.

The company hasn't even had the good grace to make public a list of the albums which break PCs, but there is a partial list being pulled together by other people:

Trey Anastasio - Shine
Celine Dion - On ne Change Pas
Neil Diamond - 12 Songs
Our Lady Peace - Healthy in Paranoid Times
Chris Botti - To Love Again
Van Zant - Get Right with the Man
Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound
The Coral - The Invisible Invasion
Acceptance - Phantoms
Susie Suh - Susie Suh
Amerie - Touch
Life of Agony - Broken Valley
Horace Silver Quintet - Silver's Blue
Gerry Mulligan - Jeru
Dexter Gordon - Manhattan Symphonie
The Bad Plus - Suspicious Activity
The Dead 60s - The Dead 60s
Dion - The Essential Dion
Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
Ricky Martin - Life