From various 1950s issues of New Romance I present as a public service announcement some really handy advice for those young women intent on pursuing romance with a steady beau all with the goal of getting hitched.

As all women know, good health is essential in maintaining your gene-derived, socially acceptable standards of good looks that are wholly dependent upon evolving cultural expectations! Sleeping with a window open for fresh air is a recurring theme in some of these old pre-Polio vaccine PSA's. Breathing in Radon and mold day and night is a general no-no so it's a good idea to have adequate ventilation. But it all depends on where you live. If you live in a universe where it is cool for a teen-ager to take their dad to a party and school yard gangs talk out their differences instead of popping caps into each other , then by all means, go for it. But where I live sleeping with an open window means you will probably wake up (if at all) with a crack-head holding a box-cutter to your throat as his buddy unplugs your TV.

Almost as important as good looks is the ability to not embarrass any males you have come into contact with! Be polite, deferential but have your wits about you. But not too much! Be careful, girls! If you appear too smart boys won't like you and instead of a home, hearth, husband and children to keep you warm at night it will be your hot tears staining the pages of a textbook on science!

Once you have all the basics down you can go on the prowl! Not having to work after high school is important for the modern girl! Time is a wasting! So get involved in all those hobbies that men enjoy but proceed with caution. Don't fully participate in sports and hobbies, LOOK ON ADORINGLY ONLY, or if that is not possible, ensure you take on the role of an accessory, like a tennis racket stand or gym bag carrier (but not too heavy a bag, you don't want big ugly muscles!). Take steps to ensure you don't intimidate a guy or show him up and faster than you can say "Holy Matrimony" you will be fulfilling your role as a wife, mother and homemaker!

And then it is HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

From Girls' Romances #33 (August-September 1955).

From Girl's Love Stories #1 (Aug-Sept 1949).

And once again my wife, son and I are working the evening of July 4th, so if you want to go "OOOH" and "AAAH" at the pretty lights then pull the [expletive deleted] over and off the road.

The children of 1938 were taught in a silly, throw-away gag-strip comic book that water torture was a barbaric, bad thing. What happened in the years between then and now that such torture became a valid practice?

Charlton Comics Company, was at best, a poor man's DC Comics. But where DC was content to run a PSA feature urging kids to stay in school so they could retain gainful employment after high school, Charlton went one step further across the border into Wacky Town! Stern, totalitarian authority figures, fear of the Red Menace and the threat of eternal damnation if you slacked off are the themes of this Charlton PSA.

Get to work! Remember, the Government is watching you!

From Showcase #5 (December 1956).

• You get to contribute to making things worse than before.
• One less box to check on that form at the DMV.
• You get called for jury duty.
• Naive yet attractive college-age women may come to your house with many pamphlets, something most comic book fans are not used to.
• 4 a.m. phone calls from auto-dialers with recorded messages about the "issues".
• Going to the Candidates' debate.
• The knowledge that you did something worthwhile, because that annual five dollar donation to the Salvation Army at Thanksgiving just isn't enough to erase all the crappy things you did to everyone all year.
• The smug feeling you get when ignoring all those guys in front of grocery stores trying to get you to sign petitions and register for their preferred party.
• Write-in candidates on ballots, i.e.: SLEESTAK FOR PRESIDENT.
  

Interesting imagery in this otherwise typical precautionary anti-drug tale "Living Dead" from Mister Mystery #15 (February 1954).

Luck Is A Puppy Named SchatziFrom Star Spangled War Stories #148 comes this tear-jerker written by Robert Khaniger & penciled & inked by Joe Kubert. Starring the popular WW1 flyer Enemy Ace aka Baron Hans von Hammer aka The Hammer of Hell, this tale is about a cute puppy. Oh, and horrible death in war.

In the process of landing his Fokker, the Baron accidentally runs over a stray dog. Saddened by the dog's injuries, the Hammer of Hell (nee Heaven) takes pity on the poor creature, names it Schatzi and bandages up it's little injured paw.

As one can guess from the story title, Schatzi is destined for reprint fame later in a 1970's DC digest of favorite stories. The cover is a bit of a tease, because comic book covers usually pull a bait-and-switch on readers in regards to content. Not this time...war is hell, y'know.

Exercising the inbred wisdom that made some Europeans worthy of being appointed as nobility, the Baron tucks Schatzi into his jacket and flies off into combat. During maneuvers, the Baron does a barrel roll. Inevitably, not having secured the puppy with a belt, it tumbles out of the cockpit and out into space. Sigh.

In the late 60's to the early 70's DC comics inserted into the stories of their successful line of war titles this Make War No More tag. Obviously, a response to the prevailing public sentiment about the Vietnam conflict.

As PSA's for comics go these are probably the ones I am most cynical about for a few reasons. The first being that the tags only showed up in the combat titles full of gleeful mayhem and nazi-smiting. I have not yet seen these in any other DC books of the era. The other reason is that everything I have read about Robert Khaniger is that he leans way to the right. So the addition of the MWNM tag only seems a shallow attempt, as a marketing ploy, to blunt the pro-war message the books had.

Also, the tag often would interfere or disturb the layout of the art, though this was mostly solved a few years later as editorial policy changed.

Great Joe Kubert panel, made claustrophobic by the addition of the tag to open sky

Less intrusive than many

The Unknown Soldier is wearing a protest button?

In reading the war titles during the Vietnam era I've been left with the impression they were allegory (like the film Aliens) of the Vietnam or Korean wars. In the early 70's many of the stories dealt with "reluctant soldiers" or "cowards" who nonetheless came through for their buddies or the mission. This was probably the best theme the writer could push through, having to balance the tone of the book with the effect of public opinion on the market. The reluctant hero aspect of many of the stories and anti-war tag would have satisfied those parents who bothered to check the content of their children's entertainment. Parents that were pro-conflict or didn't care would be satisfied by the exploding Nazi tanks.

Excerpt from a 1973 issue of Star Spangled War Stories, Bob Rozakis letter

By 1973 the United States had begun to pull out of the Vietnam conflict and soon after the MWNM tag was no longer included in the books. Many of the war titles also were eventually cancelled as interest in the subject material waned. Soon, the Star Spangled War title had covers that included a horror element in the title bar, and the letters page featured a ghoul on the header (the Unkown Soldier's true, ravaged face, apparently). This may not have been too unusual since that title also previously featured the classic War That Time Forgot "Tank vs Dinosaur" stories and The Haunted Tank, but it was more likely an attempt to boost sales by attracting the growing horror comic market by superficially resembling the Weird War Tales book also published by DC.

For those of you who can't get enough of Joe Kubert's combat-themed art, be sure to check out PS Magazine (a military preventive maintenance magazine originally founded by Will Eisner). Joe has been illustrating it for years.