Funny & Interesting Email Forwards

10 days ago, I felt a cold coming on; so before I went to bed I used Zicam Cold Remedy Nasal Gel. It's supposed to help you "get over your cold faster." Immediately after I sprayed it into each nostril I felt the most horrific burning sensation imaginable. It literally felt like I had sprayed pepper spray directly into my brain. It burned all the way to the top of my skull. My nasal passages swelled, my eyes watered - the burning lasted all night long into the next day.

After about a day, I realized I couldn't taste anything and I thought, "Wow - I must really have a bad cold." Then I noticed that I couldn't smell coffee brewing, couldn't smell my perfume when I put it on, couldn't smell the popcorn I burned, couldn't smell my favorite candle.

I panicked and starting smelling everything that I could find that had really strong odors - ammonia, finger nail polish remover, bleach, etc. I couldn't smell anything! I started tasting everything that had really strong tastes such as hot salsa, raw red onions, Doritos, coffee. I couldn't taste anything! I told my mother about this and she said, "Oh, I've heard Zicam can affect your olfactory nerve."

I went online, typed in "Zicam side effects" and bam - up popped all sorts of web sites with people reporting the same thing I experienced. It seems that this past June, Zicam pulled the swabs for adults and children off the shelf but not the nasal gel.

I went to my ENT and he said the Zicam had basically "fried" my olfactory nerve and the results are most likely permanent. He put me on a strong dose of a steroid called Prednisone in hopes of recovering any bit of the nerve damage but he told me to "take this and pray." He said he had read about the side effects of Zicam and couldn't believe it is still on the shelf. It isn't FDA approved.

I am taking the Prednisone and praying but nothing is happening. I literally cannot smell or taste anything. I can tell if foods are hot or cold, I can tell the consistency and I can faintly detect if it is salty but that is it.

Please pass this on to everyone you care about. I don't want this to happen to anyone else. And if you have Zicam in your medicine cabinet, throw it away.

Check out the links below.

http://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsroom/PressAnnouncements/ucm167065.htm
http://www.snopes.com/medical/drugs/zicam.asp

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste, and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And, I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin snow drifts in the driveway are a dead give away.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink and the windows on the second floor which often access the master bedroom, and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there, too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door, understandable. But, understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters.

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But, if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http://faketv.com )

14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

16. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

17. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

18. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

21. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs http://crimedoctor.com/ and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book "Burglars on the Job."

The newest virus circulating is the UPS/Fed Ex Delivery Failure. You will receive an email from UPS/Fed Ex Service along with a packet number. It will say that they were unable to deliver a package sent to you on such-and-such a date. It then asks you to print out the invoice copy attached. Do not try to print the invoice, that is what launches the virus.

Snopes confirms that it is real.
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/ups.asp

I just want to thank all of you for your educational and warning e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I must send a special thank you to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Also, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.

I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because water splashes over 6 ft. out of the commode.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors' ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Of course, this may all be fake information, so take it for what it is worth.

A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.

1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED."

3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "memo" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check-processing channels will not have access to it.

4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks), you can add it if it is necessary.

5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. Also carry a photocopy of your passport when traveling either here or abroad.

6. When you check out of a hotel that uses cards for keys, do not turn the keys in. Take them with you and destroy them. Those little cards have on them all of the information you gave the hotel, including address and credit card numbers and expiration dates.

Here is some critical information to limit the damage in case your cards are stolen:

1. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. The key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

2. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation.

3. Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number.

Yesterday, my youngest daughter, Halle who is just 4 years old, was rushed to the ER by her father for being severely lethargic and incoherent in her classroom. He was called to her school by the school secretary who said that she was 'very, very sick.'

He told me that when he arrived at her classroom, Halle was barely sitting in the chair. She couldn't hold her own head up and when he looked into her eyes, she couldn't focus them.

He immediately scooped her up and rushed her to the closest ER, and then called me. When he got there, they ran blood test after blood test and did x-rays, every test imaginable. Her white blood cell count was normal, nothing was out of the ordinary.

When I arrived at the ER, the doctor there told us that he had done everything that he could do so he was transferring her to Saint Francis Hospital for further tests. Right as we were leaving in the ambulance, her teacher arrived at the ER and told us that after questioning Halle 's classmates, she had found out that our little girl had licked liquid hand sanitizer off of her hands!Hand sanitizer, of all things. But it makes sense. These days they have all kinds of different scents and flavors and when you have a curious child, they are going to put all kinds of things into their mouths.

When we arrived at the Saint Francis' Hospital ER, we told the ER Doctor there to check her blood alcohol level, and yes we did get weird looks, but they did it. The results showed her blood alcohol level was 85% -- six hours after we first took her. There's no telling what it would have been if we would have requested it at the first ER.

Since then, her school and a few surrounding schools have taken the liquid hand sanitizers out of all the lower grade classes, but what's to stop middle and high schoolers from ingesting this stuff?

After doing research on the Internet, we found out that it only takes about 3 squirts of the stuff ingested to be fatal to a toddler. For her blood alcohol level to be so high, it would be like someone her size drinking 120 proof liquor. So please, please don't disregard this because we don't ever want another family to go through what ours has gone through.

Please send this to everyone you know that have children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or cousins. It doesn't matter what age. This could affect anyone of them.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/sanitizer.asp