Dear Mr. Gable

Today is the 40th anniversary of Joan Crawford's death. It seems like a good time to talk about Feud: Bette and Joan, which I've been wanting to do.

The Hollywood Reporter contacted Olivia de Havilland, the only person still alive who is portrayed in the series, to ask her what she thought about it. Here is her reply:

"Having not seen the show, I cannot make a valid comment about it. However, in principle, I am opposed to any representation of personages who are no longer alive to judge the accuracy of any incident depicted as involving themselves."

This sums up my own feelings about certain biographical pictures. I am very judgemental about the accuracy, to the point where I find it a distraction. I was all excited about The Tudors until I read that the writers combined Henry VIII's two sisters into one character. Nope! Never even started watching it. I tried watching the recent Masterpiece Theater series Victoria, but I couldn't really get into it, even though I couldn't spot any glaring inaccuracies.

Old bio pics I don't fact check as much. I've written about several of them that I enjoy. I don't know why it's only the modern ones that have me checking for accuracy. I debated about whether I wanted to watch Feud at all, and decided to give it a try. I ended up watching the whole series to see how it ended. I'm not sorry I did, but I don't think I would watch it again.

David Canfield wrote a review of the series for Slate and said that "Crawford [...] was [the] heroine." While I agree that the story spends the majority of its time with Joan Crawford, especially in the last episode, I would disagree that she's the heroine.

• Over dinner, Joan confesses that she seduced her own stepfather at the age of 11. Bette says she was a virgin until her first marriage in her mid 20's.
• Joan colludes with Hedda Hopper to not only spread nasty rumors about Bette during the filming of Baby Jane, but to try (and succeed) to deny Bette the Oscar for her performance. Meanwhile, kind Bette bails Victor Buono out of jail when he is busted at a gay porno film. (And if that scene is not based in some fact, it's just plain mean to Buono.)
• Joan drunkenly throws herself at director Bob Aldrich several times and is rebuffed. He then drives to Bette's house and hops into bed with her.
• While Joan is being humiliated during the making of Trog, reduced to changing her clothes in a van, Bette is lovingly visiting her mentally challenged daughter Margo at the institution where Margo lives.

I'm not sure there are any heroines in this story. I've read the book on which the series is based, Bette & Joan: The Divine Feud by Shaun Considine. Neither one of them comes off well in the book. While I think that while the Feud series tried to portray Joan more sympathetically on the surface, underneath was the same old malice.

On other topics of Joan, I also recently read My Way of Life and A Portrait of Joan. I can see why the lifestyle book is a "camp classic" today; it's way over the top. It's interesting that Joan spends so much time talking about how to hold on to your man, when she succeeded so well on her own for most of her life. I did like the little tidbits of personal things she herself enjoyed; I picked up a bottle of one of the perfumes to which she "remained faithful," Estee Lauder's Youth Dew. It smells amazing. I didn't expect the autobiography to be 100% accurate, but I did find her tone in both books to be kind of charming. It feels like you're sitting down and having a talk with her. And really, isn't that all any true fan could want?

Rest in peace, Joan. Your fans still remember you, which I think would make you happy.

It's hot and humid here in lovely Philadelphia, and with that comes a yen to watch certain movies. Although I'm not a big fan of being out in this weather, I love movies about other people who are. Here are some tried and true favorites I've been rewatching lately.

1. Objective, Burma! - (please note that official title includes the punctuation, haha) Poor Errol Flynn. He made this movie in an attempt to help with the war effort, and the British press just chewed him up for it, feeling that he was trying to take all the glory of the Burma fight for the Americans. Although he wanted to, he was unable to serve due to health issues (recurring malaria and a heart murmur) that of course Warners would never let him admit to. However, I agree with George Tobias that I would "follow him down the mouth of a cannon." Lots of adventure, highly recommended.




2. Key Largo - Oh, Eddie G., how I adore you. I know he got tired of the gangster roles, but he is so delicious in this one. I could usually take or leave Bogart, but I love him this time. Poor Lionel Barrymore was really in a wheelchair (L.B. Mayer had the role written specifically to accomodate him) and I always wince when he takes a dive trying to sock Johnny Rocco. One of my favorite scenes is when Frank asks Rocco what he really wants out of life...Rocco isn't sure, until Frank says he just wants "more." "Yeah, that's it, I want more!" Rocco exclaims. Will he ever get enough?, Frank asks. No, Rocco says, he hasn't ever before, so he doesn't suppose he ever will. A brilliant summation of all the gangsters Robinson played.




3. Rain - I've talked about this one before; Crawford is just amazing in the role of Sadie Thompson in one of the many film adaptations of Maugham's story. The scene near the end when Walter Huston loses control still makes me jump, although I know it's coming.




4. Red Dust - I watched this one last night and I was delighted to remember how funny Harlow can be. It's not always what she says, but the way she says it. "You won't grow up to be a big strong boy like Grandpa here if you don't eat your din-din, Fred." Watch it and see if it doesn't make you chuckle, too. (The line comes at 1:10.) Gene Raymond is a little too "gee whiz" for my tastes, but in a way that makes him better for the role of the husband.

I love movie posters from the 1930's. They have a style, half photographic and half painted, that visually appeals to me. I have been tempted to buy certain posters, even when I think the movie is only so-so, just because I love the artwork. Some examples:

My all time favorite Crawford poster. I thought the movie was blah. Look at that hair! And I like the script at the top.

I love the look of her face, although not the skin tone.

I love the poster and the movie in this case. Ann Sheridan is just beautiful.

A little over the top, but still gorgeous.

I just like the yellow, and the heads of the cast members.

A nifty Newsweek photo gallery I discovered today. Say what you will about Joan Crawford, she could take am amazing picture (#5), and that's not even my favorite of her. The James Cagney picture (#8) is great, a wonderful example of what they did with light and shadow back then. The Hitchcock one (#14) is just plain funny.

Nothing like a nasty head cold to give you time to catch up on a movie or two. This week on TCM I happened to catch Hollywood Canteen, the movie I really wanted to see when I rented Stage Door Canteen from Netflix. I saw SDC last year, and looking at the cast on Netflix (Katharine Hepburn, Tallulah Bankhead, Ray Bolger, and Ethel Merman, among others) I can't say I really remember any of them from the film. It kind of made a non-impression on me, probably in part because I was expecting it to be another movie entirely. But the main plot was three soldiers meet three girls, and I suspect the reason why all the famous faces didn't stick in my memory is because they had very little screen time.

HC, by comparison, was a treat. The cast includes almost all of the Warner Bros. stars, with the "notable exceptions" (says Robert Osbourne) of Errol Flynn and Ann Sheridan (and, I note, James Cagney). Ann was offered the lead (played by Joan Leslie) but refused it, because she didn't want any part of a movie that would make a GI think he could come to the canteen and marry a movie star. I guess I see your point, Ann, but come on, do you really think many people would actually believe that? It's for the war effort! Well, Joan did a nice job, and I think she is a better match for Robert Hutton as Cpl. "Slim" Green. Joan has that girl-next-door quality, and Ann I would consider more of a siren, so in this case I think Joan works better in the role. (Although Ann can be quite a good ingenue, as evidenced by her performance in Angels With Dirty Faces. But I tend to think of her more like this.)

The story is based on the actual Hollywood Canteen, founded by Bette Davis, although I don't know if it was actually filmed on location. It was made during the war, so I guess it's possible. During the film John Garfield, another founder, gives a speech about the origins of the canteen, which you can read about at the link above.

(Side note: I was horrified to learn that something called the Hollywood Canteen was reopened in 2001, and "caters to some of Hollywood's biggest names including: Paris Hilton, Marilyn Manson, Keith Jardine, Vince Vaughn, and Lindsay Lohan to name a few." Oh, vomit. Where do I start? If you're going to call it a canteen, then it should be free for service members, like the original was. Oh, wait: Wikipedia tells me that a canteen doesn't necessarily refer to a military eating place, but is rather a type of food service location in which there is little or no table service, whether a restaurant or within an institution such as a large office building or school. Point taken. But still. There's a lot of history behind that name. That sound you hear is Bette Davis spinning in her grave.)

The list of movie stars who volunteered their time to the original canteen is lengthy and impressive. I doubt very much you would see many of today's "stars" (and I use that term loosely) doing anything like this. But maybe that's just cynical me.

(Somewhat related aside: I admire Kathy Griffin for going to Iraq with the USO to entertain the troops, and I love it when she uses that fact to shame loudmouths like Bill Maher who bust on her: "I recently got back from Iraq, when are you going?")

Anyhow, the movie. While the romance between Slim and Joan Leslie is rather hokey, it's still cute and not overplayed. The stars who appeared in the film seem very natural, and you see them not just performing (Andrews Sisters, etc.), but waiting tables (Jack Carson) and washing dishes (Paul Henreid). From the little I've read on the canteen, it seems they really did get out there and mingle with the troops quite a bit. (Another aside for a funny story: a soldier at the canteen bet his friend $5 he couldn't get a kiss from Bette Davis. Bette kissed the soldier when he asked and gave him $5 to pay the bet. Then she gave the other soldier $10 and said, "thanks for believing in my virtue." Heh.)

One of my favorite moments from the film is when Dane Cook, as Sgt. Nowland, is dancing with a woman and says to her, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Joan Crawford?" The couple pans around as they dance..."By the way, I am Joan Crawford," Joan Crawford says. Another funny moment was the bit with Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre.

[after unintentionally scaring away a marine sergeant]
Peter Lorre: [sadly] All I wanted to ask him is to join me in a cigarette!
Sydney Greenstreet: He didn't trust us, Peter.
Peter Lorre: No... and we are such gentle people!
Sydney Greenstreet: Are we? [bugs eyes out in menacing manner]

(<-- as close as I could get)











Peter Lorre: [Backs away, frightened]

Overall, this movie was a combination of several thing I love to see in a classic film: behind the scenes glimpses of Hollywood, a ton of stars and character actors, a morale boosting WWII movie, and a good portrayal of the times. I would definitely recommend this one.

One evening this week I was flipping channels and I came across the 1936 movie, "Craig's Wife," which is based on the play by George Kelly and stars Rosalind Russell and John Boles. The movie is probably more well known in its 1950 incarnation, "Harriet Craig," starring Joan Crawford. Yes, that movie about which people say, "oh, it was so much like Joan in real life, with the obsession with material things and general craziness and all that!" And by "people" you know I mean "Christina Crawford."

I like comparing version of classic films; see my earlier entry on "Red Dust" vs. "Mogambo." Maybe I should make that a more regular feature. Yeah, like Character Actors I Love, which I haven't done in forever. Although my virtual cemetery on the subject continues to grow.

So, HC vs. CW. I came into CW about 15 minutes late; Harriet and her niece (I think it's her cousin in HC) are on their way home on the train, having been visiting Harriet's sick sister. I came in right in the middle of a juicy speech in which Harriet explains to her mildly horrified niece her views on marriage: Harriet married so she could be "completely independent" and have her own house, basically. She doesn't love her husband "in that silly, romantic way you mean." So right off we get the character exposition and find out almost all we need to know about Harriet (note I say almost; more on that later).

The story progresses as expected: everyone but Harriet's husband Walter realizes that she's a scheming, manipulative bitch. He just acts like a goofball in love, and while I get the point of that (it makes it all the more shocking later when he does come to see Harriet as she really is), John Boles takes it a little overboard, what with the gushing and turtledove cooing and whatnot. Gradually, people start to withdraw from the home, and especially from Harriet: she herself fires Maisie, the maid; Walter's Aunt Ellen moves out (after giving him a lecture on the subject of his wife), Mrs. Landford, the long-time housekeeper, quits. Ethel, the niece, leaves with her fiancee, who has come to retrieve her, apparently having also sensed Harriet's evil from afar.

There's a murder of one of Walter's friends as part of the plot, but I think I missed out on some of that, because it was just background to the story by the time I came into it. It functions mainly as plot device to really drive home Harriet's manipulations: she gets caught by the police inquiring about the deceased's phone number (spying on her husband, to see what he was up to while she was out of town) and when the detective comes to the house, she lies about it. Walter finds out, and they get into an argument, in which Harriet (sort of) inadvertantly reveals that her main concern is keeping their good name out of a scandal, and not so much whether Walter is innocent or not (he is, it turns out to be a murder/suicide). This is what finally lets the scales drop from Walter's eyes, and after he smashes Harriet's prize knick-knack, they argue some more, and he walks out on her. Harriet exposits that she is obsessed with having a home because her father mortgaged her childhood home to support his mistress, and the family ended up on the street. Walter isn't having any, though. She can have the house, he says, since it's what's really important to her.

The exits of the people involved in Harriet's life have a lot of impact, because they all occur in the last 15-20 minutes of the movie, so you get a sense of this mass exodus from the house. Walter is the last to leave. Right after he drives off, Harriet gets a telegram telling her that her sister died at 6:00 that morning. (This is the sister she left at the beginning of the film, dragging her niece away from her mother because "she didn't know she was that ill.") Harriet flops on the divan to have a good cry, when the next door neighbor Mrs. Frazier comes in with roses from her garden (Harriet never liked her and was jealous of any attention her husband paid to her or her little boy). Harriet, slightly incoherent by this time, accepts them. Mrs. Frazier offers sympathy upon learning of the death in the family, but Harriet's too dazed to really respond, so Mrs. Frazier leaves. Harriet starts to say, "I'm alone in the house, so if you wouldn't mind..." but when she turns to Mrs. Frazier, she's long gone. Harriet starts for the door but can't bring herself to go out. The movie ends with a close-up of Harriet's big eyes leaking tears, and the epitaph "Those that live for themselves are usually left to themselves."

Now, this surprised me, because the version of Harriet in HC (which in the version I saw first), is much more unsympathetic. There is no explanation of her nastiness with a childhood trauma. Joan's Harriet only seems angry when she's thwarted, never upset or scared. (Disclaimer: I haven't seen HC in awhile.) I don't think there's an aunt in the house, but there is a long-time housekeeper, devoted to Mr. Craig, who walks out near the end. Ethel the niece is now Claire the cousin, and her story unfolds more or less the same. The last scene of the movie, if I remember correctly, is Joan walking up the magnificent staircase of her house, now completely alone. She doesn't seem all that upset to have the house to herself. There may have been a few tears on her part through out the movie, but my memory is that they were more for effect than out of sincerity.

Overall, the impression I had of the Harriet character in HC is a much colder woman, and more of a one dimensional character. I thought the two versions of the film made an interesting contrast, however, I liked the earlier version better. (Aside: while Roz is more know for her comedy roles, she was great as the cool, sharp Harriet Craig). I would recommend both films, though.

I don't know which version is closer to the play, but I'll find out when my copy of "Three Plays by George Kelly" arrives from Amazon. Stay tuned.

No, no, not Frankenstein. The Clark Gable Signature Collection! He should have been the first to get one, being the "King of Hollywood" and all, but at least he has one now. Or he will, come June. I've already pre-ordered mine.

I found the selection of movies somewhat surprising:

Dancing Lady
China Seas
San Francisco
Boom Town
Wife vs. Secretary
Mogambo

First, I thought I was the only one who adored Dancing Lady and thought it a great example of Gable's work. He is good in that film (everyone is), but I think instead I would have selected Forsaking All Others, which is a fabulous witty drawing-room romatic comedy with some great zingers in the dialogue. It's just a joy to watch. I've talked about it before.

China Seas I like, but I would have picked Red Dust for a Jean Harlow/Gable pairing for this set, especially since Mogambo was also chosen, and it's a remake with Ava Gardner and Grace Kelly in the female roles. Maybe that would have seemed repetitive, but on the other hand, it could be interesting to compare the two.

I love Wife vs. Secretary and would have chosen that one myself. It's another great example of Gable being wonderfully happy-go-lucky, and it also has romance and some drama. Also great costars in Myrna Loy, Jean Harlow, and Jimmy Stewart. It was one of Harlow's rare "good girl" roles, and her favorite, so that makes it doubly a good choice.

I've never seen San Francisco or Boom Town, so I'll have some comments about those after I get my boxed set in June. I'm counting the days. ;) If they wanted a "tough guy" role, which I suspect these are, I would have chosen Manhattan Melodrama in place of one of those.

Next up, I would LOVE to see a box set of Joan Crawford/Clark Gable movies. This set would include:

Chained
Possessed
Strange Cargo
Dance, Fools, Dance
Laughing Sinners
Forsaking All Others
Love on the Run

Come on, Ted Turner. Make my day. :)

Last night I watched The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, which I think has become my new favorite Western (a close second behind Dodge City). I'm going through a John Wayne phase right now, and Jimmy Stewart is always a winner in my book, so I decided to give this one a viewing. Rounding out the cast are Vera Miles, Andy Devine, and the uber-macho Lee Marvin (who, I was interested to discover, was a Marine and is buried at Arlington). When I saw the Netflix sleeve, I thought, "oh, geez, two hours," but the time flew by with this one.

I didn't realize this was the movie that started a million John Wayne imitations with "howdy, pilgrim." That's his nickname for Jimmy Stewart, and it sticks all through the movie; I couldn't help but giggle every time he said it, because it has become such a staple of the John Wayne persona. Also sort of darkly amusing yet also menacing is Lee Marvin's nickname for Jimmy, "dude," which he bullfrogs in a suitably sinister way. There was a decent amount of action and suspense; although I figured out right away who shot Liberty Valance, and not too long after realized how the rest of the plot would unfold, I did find myself tensing up in a few of the most dramatic scenes. When John Wayne goes home and throws the lamp into the half-finished addition to his house, it's such a painful moment, emotionally. You don't think of Duke as going to piece over a woman, but he does it here; knowing from the start of the movie how he ended up makes it even more difficult to watch, because you know this is the beginning of his downward spiral in that moment.

One thing that stuck in my mind, because I am obsessed by these kind of small details: the hairstyles. Duke looked all right, but Jimmy's hairpiece looked like a dead badger with an Elvis curl over the forehead. And Vera Miles, with her 60's bouffant with two braids clipped to the ends...not very frontier. Yes, I am insane.

Another movie, which I ended up spacing out over the course of the entire week, was one of my favorite Joan Crawford/Clark Gable pairings, Possessed. I'm a sucker for a good romance story where one person does something noble for the benefit of the other; here Joan pretends to be bored and sick of her lover Clark so she won't ruin his reputation when he runs for governor in the near future. The look on her face, which we see over his shoulder as he embraces her and proposes marriage (which she has long waited for) goes through so many emotions so beautifully, from a flash of joy to regret to steeling herself to hurt him so he'll let her go. And Clark's face, as he goes from laughter to disbelief to an angry resignation that Joan has made a fool of him...you can almost feel the ice hardening around his heart. Oh, I know I'm talking like a bad romance novelist, but I do love those two, best of all when they act together.

And their digital cable with DVR. Now I can easily pluck movies from Turner Classic Movies with the onscreen guide and record them with a click of a button! No more painstaking calculations of how long the movie's really going to run, with introductions by Robert Osborne and whatnot. (My last attempt to tape several movies in one week was a miserable failure, as I missed the last 5-10 minutes of each movie.) I was on my own for the holiday weekend, so I settled down to watch a bunch I had taped (and one from Netflix today).

First up was Suzy, with Jean Harlow, Franchot Tone (and can he rock an Irish brogue), and Cary Grant. Rounding out the cast was character actress Inez Courtney as Maisie (who looked familiar to me because she played another Mazie in one of my favorite Jean movies, Hold Your Man), Una O'Connor, and Lewis Stone. I don't think this was oneof Harlow's more popular movies, and I suppose I can see one reason why...her devotion to Cary Grant is incomprehensible to me, after all the dirty tricks he plays on her. Plus he was just all-around not a nice guy. I mean, who doesn't write to his ailing father when he goes off to war? I thought Suzy's devotion to the Baron was very touching, however. I was hoping for a nice romantic reunion with Terry at the end of the film, not Suzy and Terry dragging Andre's body out to the plane so France will think he died a hero. I say, let him die as what he was -- a philandering playboy pilot who was duped and shot by a spy. Oh, well. I guess Suzy is a bigger person than I.

Next was The Unknown, with Lon Chaney and a very young and almost unrecognizable Joan Crawford. Silent films are a taste recently acquired, and I liked this one. The soundtrack was gorgeous. Lon Chaney was delightfully creepy as "Alonzo the Armless." Joan was very pretty, but didn't have the usual "face" that I think most fans associate with her. If I hadn't know ahead of time it was her, I'm not sure I would have known her. Her famous beautiful eyes are rather unremarkable here. And here's an interesting bit of trivia from IMDB: For many years, this film only existed in murky 9.5mm dupes on the black market. In March 1973, at a screening of this film at George Eastman House, archivist James Card said that Henri Langlois and his staff at the Cinematheque Francais discovered The Unknown in 1968 among other miscellaneous cans of film marked "l'inconnu" (films "unknown" due to missing titles, etc.). I could tell that the titles were of a modern era, but I'm not sure about the music. I guess, looking back on it, that it did have an electronic quality to it that would indicate it's not original to the film.

I made it a Joan Crawford double feature with the next movie, The Story of Esther Costello. It was heavy-handed in parts, and of course Joan chews her share of the scenery in places. Overall, though, I enjoyed her performance, and the movie as a whole, very much. Heather Sears was excellent as Esther, and Rossano Brazzi appropriately slimy as Joan's estranged husband. The ending is a little abrupt, with the eventual fate of Joan and her dastardly husband relayed in one sentence, and the last shot of Esther walking away to, I assumed, speak to a crowd gathered for an Esther Costello Fund benefit. (There's a blink-and-you'll-miss-her appearance by Bessie Love, she of Broadway Melody fame, as "Matron in Art Gallery.")

Last on the bill was Beau Geste, which I had a hankering to see after watching Lawrence of Arabia last weekend (which I know is this great epic, but to me it was just...okay). Gary Cooper and Ray Milland together was quite a lot of eye candy to handle at once. I thought Robert Preston was an odd choice as the third brother; he'll always be Professor Harold Hill to me, and the pencil mustache didn't suit him at all. It made him look rather sleazy, I thought. I'll admit that I didn't see the ending coming at all, specifically the last scene at the house with Aunt Pat reads the letter. Look closely and you'll see a very young Donald O'Connor playing Beau Geste as a young boy. This was the first Gary Cooper movie I'd ever seen, and I liked him enough that I think I'll be adding some of his movies to my Netflix queue, along with some more Ray Milland. I could listen to Ray just read the phone book -- a lovely, cultured voice.

Coming attractions include a double feature of Airport '77 and The Concorde: Airport '79, two of those movies in a category I like to call "disaster movies featuring aging Hollywood legends." Hey, I rented Airport 1975 for the sole purpose of seeing Myrna Loy, who did not disappoint as a sensible, calm but cute little old lady. Let's see how Olivia de Havilland handles being trapped in a plane at *snicker* the bottom of the ocean, in the Bermuda triangle! *cue dramatic music*

Also, arriving in the mail this week is The Bela Lugosi Collection on DVD. Yay!

Nothing like being sick and missing almost a whole week of work to allow one to get caught up on their classic movie viewing. Thank God for Netflix, because I didn't have the energy to go out and rent movies.

Anyhow, my most recent movie was Lady for a Day, and oh, I loved this movie! First off, it was full of character-actory goodness: May Robson, Guy Kibbee, Ned Sparks, Walter Connolly, and Nat Pendleton. Bonanza!

The scene when Apple Annie is about to confess her true identity to Count Romero, and then the party guests finally arrive, including the mayor and governor...I cried at the look on her face. And I don't usually cry at movies. But I'm a little choked up just talking about it now. May was just wonderful. So touching when she sees her daughter again for the first time.

I was so rooting for Annie and the Judge to fall in love and get married...they were so cute together. The look on the Judge's face when he sees her as "Mrs. E. Worthington Manville" for the first time was just adorable. From what I could tell, Guy did his own trick pool shots. At least, I'm fairly sure he did. Very impressive. The one thing I would have changed was the casting of Walter Connolly as a Spanish count. Just...no. His nasal squeak of a voice and a "Spanish accent" are two things that should be kept as far apart as possible. He did not work at all in that part. He's better playing father to society girls or frustrated bosses, as we've discussed before.

Plus you have to love a movie with a character named "Dave the Dude." Heh.

Next up was The Damned Don't Cry!, one of the new Joan Crawford DVD releases. Joan's Warner Brothers films are on the edge of an era I don't like in her work. I much prefer her as a 30's shopgirl to the 40's hardened dames with rapidly thickening eyebrows. I'll go as far as Mildred Pierce, which I love, but that's about it. And the 60's scream films...no, we'll not speak of those.

Damned was all right. Joan's character makes an interesting transition from poor but hard-working mother to tough dress model/gangster's moll. Maybe a bit too quick of a transition. The men in film were no one I had ever really heard of before; definitely not the A-listers than Joan had been partnered with in the past. Kent Smith was good, but the rest didn't do much for me. I suppose Warners was trying to boost their careers by putting them in a Joan movie, but it doesn't seem to have done much, in my (albeit limited) opinion.

Next was a double feature of sorts: The Aviator and Hell's Angels. As you know, I'm not much for modern movies, but I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was good as Howard Hughes (he got that creepy, beetling brow stare down, all right) and Cate Blanchett was unbelievably great as Kate Hepburn. I'd give her another Oscar if I could. The special effects were quite nifty, and hey, look! Hawkeye plays a sleazy senator. Aviator qualifies as a classic movie in a "by association" way. It's about classic movie stars and making classic movies, so I'll allow it in. ;)

After seeing that, of course I was curious about the original Hell's Angels, so I gave that a look. Good drama, amazing flight scenes, and Jean Harlow in color was a treat. With natural eyebrows, too! That's not a look you saw often. I thought James Hall looked familiar, and I was right; he also played Jack Maitland in Millie. The character of Monte constantly got on my nerves, and I wanted to smack him, Roy's goodness kind of balanced him out.

We wound up with a encore presentation of an old favorite, Objective, Burma! I would follow Errol Flynn into the jungle in a heartbeat. Yum. Such a great WWII film. After seeing brave and handsomely sweaty Errol lead his troops through the steamy jungles of Burma, I was well enough to go back to work, and so I did.

Up for this weekend: the 1932 Little Women, Teacher's Pet (yay, Gable!), and Olive Thomas: The Flapper and Everybody's Sweetheart.

It was a pre-code extravaganza this 4th of July, as my dad (who was over for a picnic) got interested in my Pre Code Hollywood: The Risqué Years DVD set, and we watched Kept Husbands and Millie back to back. I hadn’t seen them since I rented them from Netflix a few months back (which made me decide to buy them), and I’d forgotten how much I liked them, especially Millie.

After each movie, my dad would ask me, "Okay, what was wrong with that one?" Meaning, why would it not have passed the Hays Office Production Code, which began in 1934. Well, the whole idea of a "kept husband," for one. The broad hints at (and sometimes outright portrayals of) adultery. The fact that Mille dates Tommy Rock, the reporter, for four years, implying they’ve slept together (and may have lived together) without being married. In fact, Millie’s whole fall from grace, from her divorce from Jack Maitland to her murder trial at the end of the film, was too racy for a post-code Hollywood. Today, of course, it seems sweetly tame, which is why he had to ask, I suppose.

I have three Joan Crawford movies that are also pre-code: Laughing Sinners, in which she plays a night club singer who has a two year affair with a traveling salesman, before he leaves her to marry a "respectable" woman; Possessed, in which she plays Clark Gable’s mistress (he’s been hurt in the past and doesn’t want to marry; she doesn’t mind), and Rain, in which she played the prostitute Sadie Thompson. I know Joan made more movies before the code set in, but I haven’t seen any of them.

[I take that back; I have seen Grand Hotel (in which it’s implied Flaemmchen is a loose girl), and Dance, Fools, Dance, where she "tries love out on approval" and goes swimming in her lingerie. ]

Truth be told, I find these movies more interesting than some of her post-code movies I own, which include Love on the Run, Forsaking All Others, and The Women. In The Women she’s a mistress, but she clearly gets her comeuppance at the end. In Possessed, the mistress gets her man, when he gives up his chance at a political career to be with her, scandal be damned. Love on the Run is a fluffy confection containing a runaway bride and a reporter who in the end can’t bring himself to go on lying and taking advantage of her (no, not that way, but by using her story to sell papers). Laughing Sinners, by contrast, has Ivy repent at the end by sticking with the Salvation Army, but in between she works in a nightclub, has an affair with Howard Palmer, and later spends the night with him when, now as a Salvation Army girl, she sees him again for the first time after being dumped by him.

None of it is completely true to life, of course, being Hollywood, but the pre-code movies are a lot closer. Which is what makes them interesting, and also what started the Catholic League of Decency on the code in the first place.

But I started out talking about Kept Husbands and Millie. Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you? I like Millie better, because the "one woman’s story" angle is more appealing to me than watching Joel McCrea slowly struggle (then fail, but later succeed) to not become a "kept husband." He’s kind of a weenie at first, letting Dot order him around and taking a cushy job (which mostly entails learning how to play bridge) at his father-in-law’s construction firm. It obviously bothers him, but not enough to do anything about it until near the end of the film. He takes the St. Louis job, Dot comes to her senses and promises from then on to live on his salary and keep him with love, not her family’s money. On a side note, the actress who plays his mother, Mary Carr, was just adorable. (I like her even more since I just discovered she was born in Philadelphia and lived to be 99, bless her heart.)

Mille, as I said, was my favorite of the two. Her downfall comes in subtle and realistic steps, occurring gradually over the course of the movie. If you looked only at the beginning and then the end, you’d wonder how she could have fallen so far. The rest of the movie shows you. She marries young and has a child; a few years later, she discovers her husband is cheating on her and divorces him, leaving baby Connie with her father so the child can have the wealthy life he can provide.

Millie’s not down and out yet, though. She gets a job selling cigarettes in a hotel concession stand and seems content with her simpler life. She starts dating Tommy Rock, local boy reporter, but tells him marriage isn’t for her. After four years together (during which Millie starts her own concession business) she finds out he’s cheating on her. Now the slide down picks up speed, as Millie’s drinking increases; a title card tells us eight years go by, and "Millie’s still the red-headed girl...but no one cares anymore." I’ve spoiled most of the plot points, I see, so I’ll just sum up the ending by saying there’s a murder trial, and Millie’s long estranged daughter makes an appearance.

It’s a sad story, all the more touching because it’s believable. At least, I feel it is, for the times in which it was made. Not having lived in those times, obviously, I can’t completely vouch for its authenticity, and of course I’m viewing the movies through the "lens" of my time and experiences. Still, I think people then, and probably even now, can relate to Millie’s story, and understand her pain, and the choices she makes. It’s a genuine human story...why did there need to be a code against things like that?

Read the W. Somerset Maugham story "Rain" upon which the Joan Crawford movie of the same name is based. It's a fabulous read.

Pretty darn close; it's been over 90 almost every day for the past week and a half. But it was purely by coincidence that my latest movie, Only Angels Have Wings, was set in the steamy jungles of Panama, where if it's not cinematically pouring rain, it will be any second. Luckily, I was able to cuddle up with my air conditioner and enjoy the film.

I had never seen Jean Arthur in anything before, and I liked her well enough, although after awhile her voice kind of got to me. Not to be mean or anything, because she was a fine actress, but it sounded sort of squeaky to me. I could believe her as a chorus girl, though, so it worked in its own way. I'd rented the movie promarily because of Cary Grant and Rita Hayworth (who had a smaller role and lower hairline than I'd anticipated); as an added bonus there was also Thomas Mitchell, perhaps best known as the beloved Gerald O'Hara. Movies with pilots always have the best character (nick)names: Kid Dabb, Bat McPherson, Dutchy, Sparks, Tex, and Gent. Heh.

I don't think I'd buy it or rent it again, but I was well worth the Netflix rental.

After that, I was in the mood for another movie in a rainy, tropical setting, so I popped in my copy of Rain. While it may sound like a big cliche to say so, every time I see this movie I am astounded all over again. It is so beautifully and, in places, cleverly shot, it's amazing for its time, I think. Right from the beginning, where the rain starts to fall on different areas of the beach, I'm hooked.

The scene where the drunken quartermaster is trying to find the door, and instead keeps circling the table saying, "Goodbye, Mr. Davidson," as the camera pans around the table right along with him, is just wonderful. I imagine that must have been quite a difficult shot back in 1932. The scene of Davidson saving Sadie's soul as he stands on the steps and she kneels at the bottom, is amazing, too. Some of the long pans up and out of the rooms bring so much to the story and the mood of a particular moment. And the shots of Joan as Sadie, after she's been saved and is waiting to go back to San Francisco...I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful on film. Just breathtaking. Davidson's last scene, as he's standing on the porch listening to the native drums and trying to overcome temptation...when he opens his eyes after that brief prayer, and you can tell by the look on his face he's going into Sadie's room...I involuntarily back away a little, every time, even though I know by now it's coming. Well done, Walter Huston.

It would be interesting to see this movie remade today, but it would also be a shame, because you know that scene when Davidson goes to Sadie wouldn't end with him going around the corner, her door creaking, and a fade to black. No, today we'd probably have to have screams and heaving bosoms and furniture overturned. I think the way it's filmed is much more shocking, because it leaves it up to the viewer's imagination. When Sadie comes out the next day and she's back in her old clothes and makeup, you don't have to have seen what happened, what Davidson did to her. You just know.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. Well, actually, Borders thought of it already; I think it was last summer. Buy 3 DVDs, get the 4th one free, and you got a handy little sleeve that you could color yourself. I checked it out, but none of the movies appealed to me. Mostly action, sci-fi, that kind of stuff. I’m going to pretend I have the power to release movies on DVD, and create a few box sets that need to be created, posthaste. Major studios and Ted Turner, are you listening? Here we go...

Joan Crawford: The Best of the 1930s

1. Dance, Fools, Dance
2. Laughing Sinners
3. Possessed (1931, obviously)
4. Rain
5. Dancing Lady
6. Sadie McKee
7. Chained
8. Forsaking All Others
9. Love on the Run

Okay, this would obviously be a rather hefty box set**, but I would totally buy it. The new Garbo one coming out this fall has seven sound movies (eight if you count both the German and English versions of Anna Christie) plus three silents and a documentary on ten discs for $69.94 (Amazon price). So how about nine Crawford movies for, say, $49.95? There are more good movies of hers from the 1930s, I just picked my favorites. You could also toss in Letty Lynton, I Live My Life, Gorgeous Hussy, The Last of Mrs. Cheyney, or The Bride Wore Red.

**Pausing to look over some of the other "signature collection" box sets, I see that 9 movies in a set wouldn’t be outrageous at all. Here’s how many movies are in various other box sets:
Cary Grant – 5
Judy Garland – 7
Hitchcock – 9
Errol Flynn – 5, plus a documentary
John Wayne – 4
Hepburn & Tracy – 3, plus a documentary
Elizabeth Taylor – 4

So the bigger, the better is now my motto!

Moving on, let’s take a look at Jean Harlow, who should have had a box set long ago.

Jean Harlow: The Signature Collection

1. Hell’s Angels
2. The Public Enemy
3. Platinum Blonde
4. Red-Headed Woman
5. Red Dust
6. Hold Your Man
7. Dinner at Eight
8. Bombshell
9. China Seas
10. Wife vs. Secretary
11. Libeled Lady
12. Saratoga

I think that would about do it. Most people would probably take out Hold Your Man as it’s not one of her better known films, but I included it because I adore it. Also Saratoga could go, because it is kind of morbid to play "spot the body double." So that would make it an even ten. There’s room to fiddle – I could easily take out China Seas and put in The Girl from Missouri. I find myself inexplicably fascinated with Reckless, but that was pretty much a bomb, so we’ll skip it.

How about...

Judy and Mickey: The Collection

1. Babes in Arms
2. Babes on Broadway
3. Strike Up the Band
4. Love Finds Andy Hardy
5. Life Begins for Andy Hardy
6. Andy Hardy Meets Debutante
7. Girl Crazy

Or you could just whip up an Andy Hardy box set, although the last one, Andy Hardy Comes Home, has always seemed like a depressing idea to me.

Oh! How could I have almost neglected to mention...

Clark Gable: The Signature Collection

1. Red Dust
2. It Happened One Night
3. Manhattan Melodrama
4. Mutiny on the Bounty
5. Test Pilot
6. Idiot’s Delight
7. Mogambo
8. Run Silent, Run Deep
9. The Misfits

I know I’m missing a lot here, because there are quite a few of his films I haven’t seen. I know there’s one or several documentaries out there, so toss your favorite in. Another idea would be a Clark Gable and Joan Crawford collection.

Norma Shearer: The Signature Collection

1. The Divorcee
2. A Free Soul
3. Private Lives
4. Strange Interlude
5. Riptide
6. The Barretts of Wimpole Street
7. Romeo and Juliet
8. Marie Antoinette
9. Idiot’s Delight

I skipped The Women because it’s been released by itself as well as part of Joan’s new box set. Marie Antoinette should be released on DVD right now, just by itself, because it is a wonderful film, and Norma is fabulous in it.

Other random films that I’d love to see on DVD, not necessarily as part of a box set:

Jane Eyre
No Man of Her Own
I Love You Again
To Each His Own
Love Crazy
The Raven
The Black Cat (1934)

Okay, whoever owns the distributions rights to these movies, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Get cracking!

I knew bootlegs existed, of course. I didn’t see the appeal, personally. If I want to own a movie, I want to own it, with box art and inserts and a real case. I am a movie consumer in every sense of the word.

So last year when I saw a listing on eBay for a "rare!" Joan Crawford movie, you would think all my alarms and sirens would have gone off. But no, I was in the throes of discovering both eBay (it was my second auction) and a passion for collecting Joan Crawford memorabilia (save your wire hanger comments). My collection has since expanded to an entire shelf, but at the time I was just starting out, and I was dazzled by the listing. Crawford! Franchot Tone! Robert Montgomery! All in the same movie! And it’s rare!

So I bid. And won. Promptly paid, promptly got the movie. Promptly left feedback – my first mistake. The movie had looked kind of dodgy to me right out of the package. No cover art – a clear plastic box. Well, I’d seen that mentioned in the listing. Label on the tape itself that looked suspiciously homemade. Hmmm. Well, it’s not like it was written in crayon, so maybe I was just being suspicious for no reason. Still, I had what I’d paid for, so I left positive feedback: fast shipping, glad to have hard to find movie, blah blee blah.

In retrospect, I think my comment makes me look like an even bigger rube.

I pop the movie in the VCR, and we’re off. So far, so good. Until about 20 minutes into the movie, when Ted’s TCM logo appears in the bottom right corner of the screen, as it is wont to do. I literally can’t believe my eyes. I end up watching the same scene with Edna Oliver a zillion times because I just could not fathom that I was really seeing that logo.

Then I got mad. Logged back on to eBay, amended my feedback. Emailed the seller and requested a refund, post haste. Fumed for awhile. Watched the scene again. Checked IMDB – this movie has never been commercially released, duh. So "rare" applies in the "rare because it’s an illegal copy" sense. Finally went to bed.

The next morning, I have an email from the seller. He strives for satisfaction, and since I’m not satisfied, here’s my refund. I can keep the movie. (Damn right I’m keeping it! Now it’s evidence!) I also have a PayPal refund. Well, at least it didn’t turn into a bloodbath.

I’m still ticked, though, especially when I check the seller’s listings and see that he has over 200 movies for sale. A cursory check leads me to believe they’re all bootlegs. Fucker. Now I’m ready to bring the pain.

I report him to eBay. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies. I report him to eBay again. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies. I report him to eBay yet again. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies.

(Cutting and pasting was used in creating the above paragraph. Just repeat until you’re dizzy. I reported him 12 times before I stopped counting.)

I see the Joan Crawford movie listed again – by another seller with a suspiciously similar name. Sing it with me: I report him to eBay. They suspend him. He comes back, lists more movies.

I contact TCM. Thanks, they say, they’re always interested in protecting their intellectual property, la la la. I report him to the MPAA. No response. I report him to the FBI, with some embarrassment, because obviously more important things are going on in the world. They thank me, and advise me to contact the MPAA. Hey, what about those warnings at the beginning of movies about ginormous fines and jail time and all that? No public flogging? No arrest in front of a gaggle of TV cameras? Oh, well.

As of this writing, the seller is, of course, still on eBay. However, I haven’t seen him list any movies in a long time. At least not under any IDs that I am aware of. I know he has at least three. I occasionally check for that Crawford title, and nothing comes up. So I suppose some kind of justice did eventually prevail. Just not the publicly humiliating kind I was hoping for. And I learned a lesson, at no cost to myself, which I can now pass along to you.

In case you’re curious, the seller’s ID was besttrader2004. Look at all that positive feedback. Either people are stupid or don’t care that they’re getting illegal copies, that this guy is profiting off of them with blank tapes and his cable hook-up. His other ID was beststuff4, which has since been suspended – yay! I can’t remember the third one, it had the word gift in it. I don’t check every day anymore – I eventually gave that up for the sake of my sanity – but if you ever see him or anyone else selling bootleg movies on eBay, report their asses, won’t you?

Another offender (I somehow find all the Crawford ones) is billiecassin (get it?) who sells "rare" DVDs of Joan Crawford’s television appearances and commercials. I’ve reported her a boatload of times, but the listings keep on coming. Gah, just looking at them again makes me grit my teeth. If I were a vengeful person, or someone who disrespects the law as much as these people do, I would get another eBay ID and start some ridiculous high bidding just to fuck up her auctions. Or win and not pay. But I’m not, so I never would. Plus I’m too much of a weenie.

The movie viewing has kind of slowed down lately, for a variety of reasons. Only one this weekend, That Touch of Mink. I don't usually go for these "watch Doris Day remain a virgin" comedies, although they are cute in their own way. That whole wacky 60's, retina-burning Technicolor, bongo-drum-music movie type is not my style at all, as previously stated. Which is why my definition of "classic" stops around 1960, and also why I was so, so disappointed in Ted Turner the other weekend when a Clint Eastwood/chimp buddy movie was playing. Ted, what have I done to be treated so disrespectfully?

Anyhow, I gave Mink airtime based on that fact that it contained 1: Cary Grant and 2: Audrey Meadows. I would watch Cary read the phone book, and I love (love!) Audrey from The Honeymooners. Looking over her credits, actually, it seems Mink is one of only three movies she made. She had a boatload of guest appearances on TV, though, her last ones being on Dave's World a few months before she died.

So, the movie. I liked it well enough, Audrey was great as the well-meaning best friend who works in an Automat -- why did those go out of style, anyway? I think they're a neat idea. Cary was his usual delicious self, and I liked Doris, even if I don't like the twinkly kind of character she portrayed. Rounding out the cast was Gig Young, who kind of gave me the creeps, knowing how he ended up.

On another note, I got my two boxes from Barnes & Noble today, which contained all kinds of goodies. One DVD, Pre-Code Hollywood: The Risque Years, which contains Millie, Kept Husbands, and Of Human Bondage. I'd rented this from Netflix before and really liked the first two movies -- Human Bondage was just okay. Also, in books: Garbo, by Barry Paris, Evenings with Cary Grant, by Nancy Nelson, Joan Crawford: Her Life in Letters, by Michelle Vogel, Dishing Hollywood, by Laurie Jacobson, and Lion of Hollywood: The Life & Legend of Louis B. Mayer by Scott Eyman. Ooh, which to start first? I can't decide, maybe I'll have to draw numbers. ;)

Recent viewing has been mostly the early seasons of "Cheers" on DVD. I love Nicholas Colasanto, the show was never the same without Coach. I feel sad when they have the little special feature about him, and Ted Danson and George Wendt talk about working him, and what a sweet man he was. I wrote Nick's Find-A-Grave biography, check it out.

God bless the studios that are deciding to release classic movies on DVD, thereby eliminating my need to feverishly bid for VHS tapes on eBay. Coming up this summer we have:

• The Complete Thin Man Collection (August 2)
• Garbo: The Signature Collection (September 6)
• Astaire & Rogers Collection, Vol. 1 (August 16)
• The Damned Don't Cry (June 14)
• Possessed (June 14) [I wish they'd release Joan's other movie called Possessed on DVD.]
• The Star (June 14)
• Humoresque (June 14)

And so on. I've completely reorganized my Netflix queue to keep up. Yes, I am that nerdy. The first 3 items listed above are already on my wish list at Amazon. I already have Possessed and Humoresque on tape; I liked them okay, but not really enough to rush out and buy the DVD, too. I've never seen The Star, and I don't always like Bette Davis, but I'll give it a test drive.

The most recent movie viewed is You'll Never Get Rich. The verdict: okay. Fred is always good, Rita was lovely as usual, Robert Benchley is cute, and a shout-out to Garry Owen, who was also in Hold Your Man, one of my favorites (although IMDB doesn't even list him in the full cast, the title is listed on his page). I like military movies, and backstage dramas, and I got two for the price of one here.