A Decent Little Cottage

I'm sitting in my bed, playing with my blog today....You see, it's my birthday. My children have decided there are two things that they can give to me...a clean house, or a day off. My children don't want to clean the house today, so they've told me I get a day off :)

Ah! How do mothers do it all day without children! :) I have looked at every blog in the universe. Changed my own several times. Deleted over 200 emails and organized 200 more. Listened to several general conference talks, and homeschooling talks, read things I wanted to get read, and taken a nap. IT'S ONLY 11:oo AM!

I remember when I first began homeschooling and was talking with my friend who introduced me to tjed; and I asked her...what do you do when you need a break? She looked at me with a funny look on her face and I realized...SHE DOESN'T NEED A BREAK. How could that be? How could a mother not need to have a break from her children...doesn't she need time for herself, doesn't she need to fill her cup, doesn't she need a break from the work...physical and mental?

I also remember thinking I will never get there. I will never become that person. It took four years, but I remember the day that my husband said...why don't you go out, why don't you visit with your friends, why don't you take a class. And I realized I didn't need to. I don't need a break from my children. I love them. They are a part of me. They make my days full and joyfull. (I do not have perfect children, often their little tendencies drive me a little crazy, they still rough house, make messes and neglect things I think they should do....but I don't need a break from these things) When there is something I don't love about my child I realize what is happening is really that I need to do some teaching, some training, some more loving. You see, I have accepted my role as the mother of this home. It is my job to make my home what I would like it to be. If I am unhappy here it is my job to change it. Needing a break is (for me) just running away from the problems that need to be fixed.

The world teaches us as women and especially as mothers that we are entitled to a break, to do something for ourselves, to go to lunch with our friends, to talk on the phone all day, to escape from our "reality" for a minute, to have "time out for women" (pun intended). But I do not think that is what the Lord teaches us. I know it is not what Julie B Beck, our general relief society president is teaching (since I just finished listening to her talk again). She counseled us not to be "silly" women, she counseled us not to spend money on things which have no value, she counseled us to pray and to read our scriptures. We don't need our mothers, sisters, friends, confidants, neighbors to get those things done. We just need the Lord.

Well, I don't know how much more of this time off I can stand. I think I'll sneak out of my room and see if I get caught....well, maybe after one more nap :)

(disclaimer....I just wanted to point our that I do not think that enriching yourself, going to lunch, talking or the phone, or going to a seminar are evil or wrong or not what the Lord wants. What I do think is wrong is when we put those things above our families or above the Lord and what He wants us to do....in my opinon :) )

Really I was pondering lately why other people tend to think I am weird...in all fairness to other people.....I am weird. But I was thinking about why others think it.

Here is the result of my pondering. I think that people think I am weird because when I see a problem I try to fix it.
When I saw that I could have a different type of family that other people had I decided that I would home school.
When I saw that what I was eating was not healthy for me or my family...for our brains or our bodies I decided that we would change the way we eat...no plastics, no preservatives, less meat, no processed food.
When I saw that I needed to stand up for what was right even in the face of opposition I went to my caucus meeting, gave a speech, got elected, visited in my living room with many politicians without makeup on and in my sweats and told them my concerns.
When I saw that my daughter wanted to be in a play I tried out as well and now I have a lead part where I have to sing in front of hundreds of people....I am not that good of a singer!
When I saw that I could get rid of all my toys and teach my children to work I changed my whole life style around...including throwing all the toys away as well as all the "learning" requirements I placed on my children.

I think that sometimes in our society we see a problem and we complain about it, or we blame it on someone else, or we ignore the problem instead of looking at the problem, trying to understand how we are a part of the problem, and them deciding on something to DO to work on fixing the problem (although I do pick "weird" things to Do :) )

Part of the blessing of "seeing" from the Lord is that He gives us the opportunity to "see" and ...to recognize, then repent and make restitution....and then to "become"....to "become" a part of the solution, to "become" healthy in body and mind, to "become" a better servant to others, to "become" more talented, to "become" involved, to "become" something you didn't intend to become, to "become" more like He is.

I guess my "weird-ness" will continue. Onward, ever onward.