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Tim Hawkins

From Wikiquote
The electric toothbrush—what, is brushing your teeth too strenuous an exercise?

Timothy Aaron "Tim" Hawkins (born 30 March 1968) is a Christian comedian, songwriter, and singer, best known for parodying popular songs such as Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take The Wheel", Kansas's "Dust in the Wind", and "The Candy Man".

Quotes

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Full Range of Motion (2006)

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  • Lazy technology: the electric toothbrush—that always made me laugh.  The electric toothbrush—what, is brushing your teeth too strenuous an exercise?  For some people?  You got people goin' [imitates fast, strenuous brushing of teeth].  "Man, I am really feeling the burn here.  Wish this thing had a motor on it."  Why don't you just have electric deodorant?  [imitates use of electric deodorant]
  • Y'all ever seen these commercials for these pills, this medication you take?  It's like one pill for one thing, but they list, like, a hundred side effects?  It's just like they're just scrolling for a minute. And you're thinkin, "Is that really a good trade?  That can't be a good trade."  You got people going, "Well, I can take the headaches, nausea, and vomiting, if it'll make my elbow feel better.  It's really worth it—it is.  I mean I've been taking it—Oh, oww!  Owww!  I can move it around, play with the kids, and—[pretends to vomit].  I've got full range of motion here."
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