Talk:Jeffrey Hammonds/GA1

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Reviewer: Bladeboy1889 (talk · contribs) 09:15, 24 June 2012 (UTC) Bladeboy1889 (talk) 09:15, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, you're taking this on as well as Huggins. Thank you for doing so, and please, no rush. – Muboshgu (talk) 16:28, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Found time to do this now so here goes. I wanted to cut back on the short sentences but rather than go through identifying changes here I decided it was probably quicker just to do it myself - have a read through and make sure I've not misunderstood or changed the meaning of anything.

Amateur career:

• Is there a ref for him only stealing a low number of bases (I assume this is considered low)? Or is it contained in The Washington Post one? It's standing out as a potentially unref'd statement otherwise.
  • Yeah I don't know where that came from or what it means. I deleted it. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:10, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Last sentence - should it be 'led the Cardinal' or 'led the Cardinals'?
  • Cardinal. They are the Stanford Cardinal, as opposed to the St. Louis Cardinals or Arizona Cardinals. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:54, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No worries - just wanted to check Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Draft:

• Signing fee - could merge the first two sentences of this section together (with 'and') maybe? If not then I think the statement about his demands needs a ref to clarify it rather than relying on the ref for sentence two.
  • Sentences merged – Muboshgu (talk) 22:07, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Derek Jeter - is this relevant / notable? If it is then it probably needs a bit of context / expansion plus a wikilink. If not then I'd be in favour of excising it.
  • Looks like an IP editor shoehorned that in. I took it out. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:30, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Road trips - I don't understand this bit. What's the relevance / context? Either way it needs to be 'road trips' (plural) surely? Also should be 'employed by any other team?
  • Well, it was one two month long road trip. Also, it was for the US national team, which is not a professional team.
    • Ah yes - I'd not read it as the road trips were for the Olympic team - I'd seen it as for the Orioles. It makes the next sentence unclear though - he 'struggled with the team', which one - the Orioles or the Olympic team? Bladeboy1889 (talk)
      • Clarified that it was the national team he struggled with. He hadn't signed his professional contract yet. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:06, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Boltimore Orioles:

• Debut - can a player play for two teams concurrently or was there some sort of timeline between the two side with one coming after the other? If so then maybe add '...and later the Rochester Red Wings...'?
  • Yes, he started in Bowie, and was then promoted to Rochester. I clarified this. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• 'Shut down' - is that a baseball / US term? (eg the equivalent of being 'sidelined' as used in the UK?) If so should it be 'until the end of the season' rather than 'for the end'?
  • "Shut down" is a colloquialism to say the team stopped playing him to protect the player. I clarified this. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• 'Optioned to Bowie' - could be 'back to Bowie'? - Is it obvious from this statement what happened? I don't really understand it as there's no mention of him then playing for them or doing anything else? Query more than anything - if this is a widely understood term in a baseball context then OK to leave.
  • I added a link for the term "option". Since Hammonds was still new in the organization, the Orioles had the "option" to send him to the minor league team of their choice. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• 'demoted to Rochester' - could be 'back to'?
  • OK. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• 'postseason' should that be 'post season' or 'post-season'?
  • I don't know about that. See Major League Baseball postseason. Of course, that page could be misnamed. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • OK - if it's generally spelled that way then no worries. In the UK we'd have pre season or pre-season. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Searching for success:

• Initial return to the Orioles - is there a ref for the info about him being bumped down to train with (what I presume is) the reserves?
  • It's supported by the reference after the sentence after it. I added another citation to make that clear. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:55, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Cincinnati Reds - definitely needs a ref for this section, even if just to cover the season stats.
  • Added a few. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:55, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All star season:

• Last bit of the first para - could this warrant a bit of sentence expansion as it feels a bit clinical as is - 'Despite this at the end of...' maybe?
  • I agree this should be expanded. It was his best season in MLB. It seems that Google News archives aren't working right now, so I'll try to beef it up later. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:12, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I added some to it with the help of Baseball Reference and High Beam, but I want to see what else I can add when the Google News archives are back up. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Struggles:

• Is there a ref for his signing for the Giants?
  • Can't find a ref for his signing with the Giants, but I added one for his being released by the Brewers. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:25, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• 'postseason' - again, is this how it's usually spelled/ written?
  • Same as above. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:31, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Is there a ref specifying him signing for the Nationals?
  • Found one. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:31, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• The bit about the Nationals having played as the Expos the year before doesn't seem relevant - is it? If so it needs rewording as it initially reads like Hammonds had played as Expos somehow
  • I agree, I don't know how that got there. It might've been there before I started my 5x DYK expansion. – Muboshgu (talk) 04:26, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

And that's pretty much it - I'm guessing his playing period means there unlikely to be any free images available? A lot of the refs are subscription only which makes them difficult to verify but I'll take as read that they contain what's included in the prose. The only thing missing seem to be something specifically reffing his last couple of signings. A lot of what's above are queries rather than specific changes - all open to discussion. Aside from that - looks good. He does sound like someone who got paid very handsomely despite being injured most of his career! Bladeboy1889 (talk) 16:38, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've struck through stuff I think is covered - a couple of outstanding queries and then I think we're good to go. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 17:56, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]