Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

Few months ago, I ate so many MBs (just 300+ GBs) in a month that my ISP blocked my connection and sent a worker to check if i was sharing my internet connection with neighbours etc. { They say UNLIMITED downloads when selling packages }
I was so pissed that after restoration I wrote autorun-on-startup powershell which keeps downloading a 100MB file forever just to eat bandwidth.
This month my downloads crossed a TB.
I feel like I've pissed in ISP's face just to show that if I'm not eating TBs every month, it doesn't mean i can't do it.

Just received my new internet connection at my home
Glassfibre ftw!! 😁😁😁

Large corporation. CEO tells everyone to attend this mandatory meeting via the internet.
I work remotely. I can't log in, meeting is full. But our colleagues have made a parallel meeting just for us in the meantime, where I could hear them make fun of the meeting, which is basically the CEO showing some Powerpoint slides to a room with 10 people. Nobody can either see the slides (bad camera or connection) or hear the CEO (crap microphone). 1000+ people watching this "mandatory" meeting that lasted for an hour. Nobody had any idea what it was about in the end. Just slides and muffled voices.

The awkward moment when your ethernnet cable is the bottleneck in your Internet connection.

Never thought I'd see such speeds in India. Wow moment!

Side note: I was subscribed to a 50mbps plan. Last night my subscriber upgraded their network and just gave me a upgrade FREE of cost.

10 years later...

A decent internet connection, at last!

Let the downloads begin!

Apparently a lot of people thinks that all WiFi has internet connection.

How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)

Is this day going to end or what?

Satan stole my internet connection. I had to sacrifice a T-Rex to reconnect.

If you ever feel you're not self-confident enough, think about the guy who told his manager at Google about the great idea he had been working on: a T-Rex that jump over cactus when there's no internet connection in Chrome.

1998 talk: Copy the Internet

I was surfing the web on my good old windows 98 pc, a younger friend comes to my place and sees me using IE. Sudently he asks:
Friend: What is that program?
Me: It's Internet Explorer.
Fr: - What is it for?
Me: - Well, you can write something here, (url), to go to different sites, search for stuff you like, participate in foruns, etc...
Fr: - Oh yeah, I know what that is, my cousin also has that in his PC, but I don't.
...(Little pause)...
- Can you copy the internet for me? Because I don't have it.
Me: You can't copy the Internet! You need a phone connection.
Fr - But I'll give you a floppy disk, you put that program there, and then I can use it too.
Me - The shortcut won't give you Internet!

I think I ended up copying the shortcut of IE to him, just to prove my point.
The funny thing is that the link really worked because he also had IE in his machine, while not in the workspace, however it was exactly in the same folder location as mine, but obviously he didn't had a wired phone connection.

Fr - "Maybe I need to copy something more! The program opens but it doesn't show anything."

Judging on that sign, I wouldn't trust the internet connection on this cafeteria...Would you??

Conversation between some kind of executives on the table next to mine:

A: do you know this app that'll let you hack into any Wi-Fi? You just click here, copy that and paste it here... and I hacked the restaurant's Wi-Fi. **laughs**

B: oh, only X? Bought. Wait... what is this "allow app to access your location"?

A: yeah, click "allow". You should also install a VPN.

B: what? BPN?

A: no, no. VPN. When you use a VPN you have a secure internet connection. You're protected from tracking, hacking and virus.

Got to learn Shopware (the eCommerce thingy written in PHP) for the job.

Bought a book worth ~60$.

The author writes: "Use vagrant it's soooooo comfy and cozy and everything!".

Sure, why not.

Got to get online over my smartphone.

Cloned the repo with the Vagrantfile.

Did a 'vagrant up'.

Downloaded the Ubuntu box of around 1.5 GB (reminder: over my smartphone which has around 3 GB 'highspeed' internet connection).

Vagrant initialized and provisioned the box.

Error.

Error?

Error.

VT-X is not enabled. Hm. Strange. Wait...when it's not enabled, can it be that...

Yep.

THIS SHITTY LAPTOP SCHMAPTOP DOES NOT SUPPORT VT-X AND I PULVERIZED JUST THE HALF OF MY INTERNET DATA FOR THIS SHITTY BOX IN ORDER TO JUST DOWNLOAD THE ZIP FILE AND INSTALL IT OLDSCHOOL-SCHMOLDSCHOOL INSTALL A APACHE VIRTUAL HOST.

Time for new hardware I think.

Every developer dream:
- Cup of coffee
- Laptop
- Fast internet connection.

Really, I am able to not see the light again with this.

Chat with user:
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: IT please come to my place i don't have internet connection and i need to finish my work, please please come quickly
Me: Are you in your computer?
User: Yeah.
Me: Amm, and how are you chatting with me?

There are a lot of things that could rank up as the worst about being a dev, such as recurring meetings, documentation, shitty requirements, pm gnats, Monday, etc...but something that truly ruins it all is NO INTERNET CONNECTION.

A completely normal workday.

Until suddenly... the Internet was gone. Like completely gone.

Out of nowhere the head of network administration appears right beside me, yelling completely over-pitched straight into my ear "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ALL SERVICES ARE OFFLINE? WTF HAPPENED TO THE CONNECTION?..."

He disappeared as fast as he had arrived. With my ears still bleeding I got myself a cappuccino.

Several hours later the Internet was back. At the construction site infront of the headquarter the Internet cable was cut.

Wait. What about a second backup cable? It exists. Unfortunately both cables split only after the construction site.

You had one job anonymous engineer...

Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!

So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.

At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.

Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.

Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.

So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.

Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.

Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?

I look to my left.

Fuck my life...

My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........

"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.

Who said programmers cannot solve hardware problems?

My router just said "Check hardware connection of your WAN port"

I took the cable out, blew in the socket and put it back in.

My internet is back in action.

-Company We need to know how our customers use our application.
-Me: got 1000 cool ideas
-Company Oh yeah, our customers don't have internet connection...