What do you think ?

Person: What do you do for a living?

Programmer: I'm an etymologist

Person: What does that mean?

Programmer: I work with bugs

I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.

Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.

Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.

I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.

Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.

what i can do

Long time no see Friend:- "hey dude what do you do for a living"

Me:- "I suffer in silence"

Ltnsf:- " but what exactly do you do"

Me:-"I stare at a rectangular space hoping to find enlightenment"

Her: you're a coder right?
Me: I prefer programmer, yeah why?
Her: I accidentally switched my phone to another language and I...

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

What my parents think I do to fix the wifi vs. What I actually do

Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt

Uber Driver: What do you do, Sir?
Me: I'm an Engineer. What about you?
Uber Driver: I'm a Uber Driver.
Me: :/

[person] so, what do game developers do?
[me]

What do you remember?

"Programers can turn coffee into code"

*looks at java's logo*

Wait a min..

Reinstalled my dedicated server and realized (afterwards) that I just erased my entire openvpn/mysql auth setup and I don't have an entirely working copy.

FUCK.

Okay, nothing I can do about that afterwards, setup csf right away, monitored the auth log for a minute and noticed one ip which had just connected and found it weird somehow. Blocked the ip.

Then, one second later, as my console stopped responding and that ip address suddenly looked veeeery familiar, I realized I just blocked myself. (the blocks persist across reboots)

😐

Went to the control panel and hit the reinstall button. Confirmed, and two seconds later I realized I could just have connected to any of my own fucking vpn services to unblock myself.

What in the living fuck is wrong with me @_@

What do you think?

A : What you do for living ?
B : I'm a Software Engineer
A : Hmmm what ?
B : I do IT
A : Ohh, so you do IT. Cool

😊

What do u think ?

I almost added a #TODON'T to my code today.

Proxima Nova is KING! 😎

The biggest problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
Not what you want them to do.

So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you think?

What do you guys do when you get bored at work?

this is what I do:

1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat

Situation is like: what do i do now🤦‍♂️

Today I found out my family does 'hard' shut downs to my home server by unplugging the power cord when I'm not home...

What do you want?