I am leaving (video player)

This video is dedicated to all those with an astonishingly enduring faith in tech billionaires and their products. And to all those who begin their updates with “Dear...” like they are writing a letter to an absent editor.

These things take a solid frickin’ week to make so, if you’re able, support me on Open Collective or buy a T-shirt or hoodie!

Transcript ↓

Dear TrueBlue.com,

While I have enjoyed exchanging charmless inanities here, when you changed your terms and conditions to state you legally own my pancreas, I knew it was time to move on.

I am leaving and I suggest everyone joins me over at SureAzure.com.

Dear SureAzure.com,

While I have enjoyed exchanging disingenuous pleasantries here, when you instated the “roast me” button on the profiles of all accounts below the platinum membership tier, I knew it was time to move on.

I am leaving and I suggest everyone joins me over at Cyanalam.com.

Dear Cyanalam.com,

While I have enjoyed exchanging received wisdom on here, when your official app started using my phone to mine an illicit cryptocurrency called UrethraCoin, I knew it was time to move on.

I am leaving and I suggest everyone joins me over at NavyGravy.com.

Dear NavyGravy.com,

While I have enjoyed exchanging pitiful truisms on here, when you decided to let a Russian Oligarch pay to have everyone's display name changed permanently to Sir Harold Shipman OBE, I knew it was time to move on.

I am leaving and I suggest everyone joins me over at PrussiaHub.com.

Dear PrussiaHub.com,

While I have enjoyed exchanging thought terminating cliches on here, when you sold 17 terabytes of unmoderated nazi profile updates to an arms manufacturer so they could teach an autonomous armoured car how to be antisemitic…

Get some help.