Chapter Text
Yoongi spins slightly in his swivel chair Hoseok got him. He reaches over for his computer to start working on his new song and-
"Yoongi hyung!" The door slams open, causing some of the picture frames in the room to rattle.
"Park Jimin." Yoongi turns around in his chair, slowly, like a scene from a movie. He taps his fingers together. "What brings you here?"
Jimin pauses to look at the cliche pose he's making, then continues.
"I have a super duper important question to ask you."
"Shoot for it."
Jimin takes a deep breath in. "Why doesn't-" He sighs again.
"Park, I don't have all day. You can breathe in your room."
Jimin stares at the floor.
"Hello? Anyone home?" Yoongi is not concerned in the slightest.
More floor staring.
"If you're having a staring contest with the floor, be my guest. But you don't have to do it here. There's lots of floor to go around-"
"How come Jungkook won't like me back!" Jimin screams and falls to the floor, shaking. Yoongi can't tell if he's serious or not.
"Uh-" Yoongi doesn't know how to deal with feelings.
"Hyung, aren't you like a...a...playboy?" He's still curled up in a ball on the floor.
"Sure, whatever." He snorts.
Jimin frowns.
"Hey, I see how you look at Hobi hyung. You get all the ladies-slash-men." Jimin stands up and folds his arms.
Yoongi is now choking on his own spit.
"Park Jiminie, I swear to sh-"
Oh right, he can't curse, otherwise eomma Jin won't make meat for dinner. But what other derogatory term begins with sh?
"...shamalamadingdong-ing god."
"Shamalamadingdong? That's new."
"Well what else do you want me to say?"
The room fills with awkward silence.
"Ok, Jungkookie. The golden maknae. What do you see in him."
Jimin looks like a tomato. "What do you see in Hobi hyung?"
"Asked you first."
Jimin grumbles something under his breath.
"Ok fine. Kookie is..." He struggles to find the words.
"Hot? Sexy? Makes you wanna go and-"
"Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok o-kay." Jimin looks like he wants to be anywhere but here.
Yoongi smiles. "Hyung is right, right?"
"...maybe."
"Hahaha! Jung Hoseok, you owe me 5 dollars!" Yoongi shouts happily.
"Why does Hobi hyung owe you 5 dollars?"
"Oh, we had a bet that you had a crush on the golden maknae. He thought you were straight, but hyung knows best." Yoongi leans back in his chair and smile evilly.
"When did you make this bet?"
"We had a sleepover, and we were just playing just dance and talking. I'm boss at just dance by the way. I even beat Jung himself."
Jimin stops, a creepy grin forming on his face. "Just talked? What else did you do at that 'sleepover'?"
Yoongi now chokes on air. He does that for maybe 5 seconds, then calms down and sweeps his hair out of his eyes with a simple flick of his head.
"Just what are you implying?"
"Oh..you already know."
Quiet fills the room once again.
"Yes."
"Hmm?" Jimin jumps from the sudden break in silence.
"Yes about your implication. Would you like to hear the details my dear dongsaeng? First I shoved-"
"HYUNG LETS CALM DOWN HERE PLEASE I AM YOUNG AND INNOCENT I AM A VIRGIN"
"And i'm not."
"Oh. My. God. Did you really do the..the.."
"Hmm? Sorry Jiminie, can't seem to understand you." Yoongi really wants to see Jimin suffer.
"THE. THE." Jimin is waving his finger in the air. He looks like a dictator.
"The. The. The what."
"The-the frickle-frackle?"
"Yeah, we popped popcorn to watch movies and it kinda made that sound-"
"nooOOO HYUNG"
"Then what?"
"DID YOU DO THE SEX"
"..Hobi's sex and my sex is male-"
"HYUNNGGGGGGGG DID YOU DO THE BANG BANG? DID YOU HAVE SEX DID YOU DO SMUTTY AND KINKY STUFF DID YOU DID YOU?"
"...bang bang bang!" Yoongi starts full on singing Bang Bang Bang from Big Bang.
"So should I take that as a yes or-"
"ppangya ppangya ppangya!"
"Oh my god hyung you are so useless, I'll just go and tell Jungkookie I like him."
Jimin then stomps out of the room.
Turns out Yoongi really helped after all.