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Losing My Religion

Summary:

Delicia is lost and depressed after destroying the Institute and coming to the realization that she will never retrieve the child she lost. Now she's on a mission to forget all about the Commonwealth and everything that came before and after it.

Chapter Text

Delicia sits on the roof of one of the houses in Sunshine Tidings Co-op. She scans through each of the radio stations on her pipboy, tired of the usual classic music and the pre-war music on Diamond City Radio. The once welcoming music just seems outright annoying these days, but that seems to be the case with everything she once found comforting or endearing-like MacCready’s cussing and fussing over stupid things or Preston’s determined speeches about making the Commonwealth a better place.
Maybe it’s because she doesn’t believe that it can be a better place- at least not anymore. Not after the Commonwealth took her daughter away from her. Not after the Institute taunted her with what could have been. After all of that, Delicia decided that there are no good or bad guys. Everyone is bad in their own way- even MacCready, even Preston, even her. Everyone and everything is bad in one way or another, so why pretend to be good and fight for something that will never happen?
She sighs, about to just give up on the radio completely until she hears a vaguely familiar tune. She raises an eyebrow as it grows louder and louder, twisting the knob until the tune is clear as day. The NukaWorld theme song. She frowns a little, wondering why she’s only just now getting the broadcast. Something must be going on.
She chews on her lip, looking in the general direction of Sanctuary. She told Preston she’d be back soon to help him with another settlement, but… The truth is she’s tired of helping settlements. She tired of the Commonwealth in general, especially Sanctuary Hills. She needs a change of scenery, and maybe NukaWorld will be it.
Delicia climbs down from the roof, checking her bag for ammo, grenades, and more. She decides that she has enough on her to last until she can get her hands on more. So, she makes her way through the fields, finding the NukaWorld station on her pipboy and following the map right to it.
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MacCready watches Delicia climb from the roof of a house and begin marching determinedly in one particular direction, her eyes occasionally glancing down at the pipboy on her arm. He wants to call out to her and ask her where she’s going, but things have been so weird between them lately so he’s afraid she won’t tell the truth.
So, MacCready follows his closest companion, careful to stay far back and low down so that she won’t hear him or catch sight of him. He hates sneaking around behind her back, but he wants to keep an eye on her. Ever since they brought down the Institute something about her has been different. She’s never in the mood to gamble or make bets, she doesn’t smile, and the look in her eye is always so distant. It’s like the part of her that knew how to smile and laugh died when she found out the truth about her daughter.
They approach a wall and a decrepit pre-war building. MacCready listens to the voices on the other side of the wall as Delicia, still not aware of his presence, continues on her path. The voices cut off suddenly, however. Gunshots take their places, getting MacCready to kick his ass into gear.
He climbs up the rubble of the decrepit building, going to the edge of its roof. He sees Delicia crouching behind a wall, reloading her rifle and then stepping around the corner, firing off shots as bullets zoom right past her. She hardly flinches when one grazes her cheek.
MacCready curses under his breath and readies his own weapon, taking out two of the gunners shooting at her. He uses his scope to scan the area, seeing nothing at Delicia disappears around the corner. He rushes to that end of the building, hearing the telltale sounds of an assaultron.
“God damn it, Delicia!” He growls, setting up to take the damn robot out. Before he is able to Delicia does.
He watches as another woman runs around the other side of another building while Delicia is searching the robot for anything useful. With a sigh he sets up for the shot, knowing he will give himself away. He fires off two rounds, taking out the woman with the second one. Delicia looks at the body then turns sharply, narrowing her eyes at MacCready as he nods to her halfheartedly.
When she shakes her head and marches toward the building MacCready scrambles to follow her. He climbs down and sprints after her, calling to her. She doesn’t stop so he decides to just follow her inside. He grabs her arm once he’s caught up, yanking her to a stop.
“What in the fucking world are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?!” He doesn’t mean to shout, but he can’t help it. He’s angry. He can’t believe she’s taking off without telling him a thing.
“I’m going to NukaWorld.” She says, sounding bored as she stares him down.
“For what? What’s even there?” MacCready asks.
Delicia is about to respond when someone says “help” in an almost feeble voice. Delicia makes a face at MacCready and rips her arm away, following the sound of the voice. They find a man covered in blood, holding his stomach and wincing as if in great pain.
“You need a stimpack.” Delicia states, reaching for her bag.
“No! Please… Save it, save it and go rescue my daughter and wife from those raiders in NukaWorld…” The man gasps.
“I have plenty of stimpacks.” Delicia rolls her eyes and pulls one out.
Just as she is about to sink it into the flesh of his thigh he smacks her hand away, jumping to his feet. Delicia glares at her hand, shoving the stimpack back into her bag before looking to the man who seems to have miraculously healed in seconds.
“I would insist by saying there’s no point in saving your wife and daughter if you are dead, but you seem to be just fine.” Delicia’s hand goes to rest on the hilt of her pistol at her waist.
“I can’t do this anymore. Those raiders paid me to do this. You can go find them if you want, but you’ll probably just end up dead like the rest of them.” The man says, pulling a slip of paper from his pocket and dropping it on the ground between them.
“So you just lead people to their deaths?” MacCready scoffs as Delicia grabs the slip of paper, “Get the fuck out of here you sick bastard.”
The man nods at MacCready nervously. Delicia huffs at her companion and whips out her pistol, firing off a single shot at the man. The only sound to be heard is the thud of the man’s now lifeless body. With a sigh, Delicia holsters the pistol once more and brushes past MacCready.
“What the Hell was that, Delicia?” MacCready follows her, careful not to grab her arm or anything this time.
“If he was willing to trick us, and possibly even others before us, then I’m sure he’d do it again. No point in letting him go free just to get more people killed.” She replies, giving MacCready a look before going to work at the terminal.
“Yeah, Del, you’re right, but that’s not you. You never just shoot people because of something they might do.” MacCready persists, following her to the platform.
Delicia rolls her eyes and turns to face him once she’s on the train. She braces both hands on the doorframe, looking down at MacCready boredly. His nostrils flare and he presses his lips into a thin, tight line. She can tell that she’s pissing him off, but she doesn’t care much.
“If you’re going to walk into a death trap then I’m coming with you.” He states determinedly.
“No, you’re going to go back to Goodneighbor or Sanctuary Hills, or someplace else that isn’t NukaWorld.” Delicia speaks slowly and calmly, trying not to lose her temper.
“Just move, Delicia.” MacCready says, taking a step forward.
“Look, I’m not in the best of fucking moods and I’m really considering knocking you on your as right now, Mac. Just let me go. I’m tired of this place and I need to get away before I lose my God damn mind.” Delicia balls her hands into fists, staring down her old friend.
“Just come back to Sanctuary. We can talk to Preston and figure this out.” He insists, wishing, for the first time, that Preston were around.
“I don’t give a shit about what you or Preston or anyone else in this God forsaken waste of a world has to say about anything. I’m going see what these dickhead raiders are about. By myself. If you try to get on board, I will knock you out and leave you here. If you decide to follow me later, I won’t be as nice, alright?” Delicia snaps.
MacCready’s mouth falls open. Delicia knows that any other day she would feel terrible, but not right now. Right now she’s just pissed that he’s delaying her get away. She watches him recover rather quickly however, that wall that she worked so hard to tear down being built right back up in front of her face.
“If that’s how things are then you probably shouldn’t return to the Commonwealth unless you’ve got a death wish. Guess you’re one of them now.” His look of disgust only solidifies her plans further. With her best friend pissed at her and thinking she’s a raider she really has no reason to be here anymore.
Delicia nods and goes to the control panel, shutting the doors and starting her journey to NukaWorld. She watches MacCready become smaller and smaller until he’s the faintest little speck. Then, the train takes a turn and he’s gone from her sight altogether.
“Well, wasn’t that a bit dramatic. Did’ya really have to shoot poor Harvey? He was just trying to make a living.” The heavy accent on the radio grabs Delicia’s attention.
“Who are you?” She asks.
“And threatening to kill your friend? Classic. You’re quite the asshole.” The man on the radio chuckles and then is gone.
Delicia narrows her eyes, but lets it go. She holds onto the rail and watches the wasteland pass before her eyes. When NukaWorld comes into view she leans closer to the window, taking in the dilapidated themepark. She vaguely remembers what it looked like before the war, so bright and full of delight. But now it just looks sad.
The announcer comes on the radio, telling her to turn her attention to Fizztop Mountain. After that comes a bit of static and then the heavily accented man is back.
“Listen up, I don’t have long. Name’s Porter Gage, and I’ve got a deal for you. Make it through the deathtrap you’re walking into, and you’ll be richer than any man around. Now, have fun and put on a good show. I’ll be watching.” As his voice fades out the train pulls up to the station at NukeWorld.
Delicia chews on her lip, thinking about his offer. She could care less about the money, but she’s interested in this death trap. Maybe it’ll be the end, and maybe she’ll be the odds. Either way, she doesn’t care. If this doesn’t kill her something else surely will.
Delicia steps off of the train and looks at the station around her. She begins making her way towards the bodies next to the door with arrows pointing to it,
“Welcome to the Gauntlet!” A voice over the intercom shouts.
She looks at the bodies next to the door. Normally her stomach would churn at the sight of something so gruesome, but not today. Not anymore. Nothing bothers her these days. She turns back to the door now, looking at the dimly lit corridor with mild interest. She wants to remember what being nervous feels like, but she just can’t seem to. So, rather than dwelling on that, she makes her way down the corridor.
“And she’s off!”