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The end of the battle brought a reprieve from the Colonel, although it seemed barely enough time to eat and rest and bury the bodies. Lee tried to ignore the lingering smell of decomposing flesh, what it meant, how many lives they’d lost. His fingers still trembled when he thought of taking pleasure among it all, bedding Kara in the wake of so much death. He shivered and focused on his letter to his father. He tried to sound like the dutiful son and he hid his feelings behind words of honor. He felt like a fraud.

The tent flap rustled and Lee looked up to see Kara standing in the light of early morning.

“You wanted to see me, Major?” Kara stood stiffly. Her face was tired, and he worried about the toll of the battle. He hated and loved that she was here; she made him want to live.

“Private Thrace. Come in.” Lee folded his letter and tucked it into his pocket.

Kara slipped through the flap, closing out the sun, and Lee focused on her pale dirt-smudged face. She lingered at the edge of the tent and gave a warning look when Lee approached.

He stopped short. “What is it? What happened?”

Kara whispered. “Corporal Allison. There’s something up with him. I think he knows.” She unconsciously touched her bindings, the long strands of fabric that kept her breasts flattened.

“What? How could he?” Lee’s eyes grew wide. His mind raced through the terrible scenarios of someone discovering that Kieran was a woman. Even now, the nurses were escorted as they moved through the camp. In these dark days of the war, men returned to their baser selves.

“I don’t know, but I trust my intuition, Lee. Don’t talk to me today. Make me dig latrines. . .something. He’s been watching you, too.” Her voice was low and sharp.

Lee stepped closer despite her warning and grasped her hands to inspect her palms. “Kara, your hands are covered in blisters already. God, this is a terrible idea!” Lee looked towards the heavens. He wanted her to leave, to be safe, but he couldn’t let her out of his sight.

“I’m not leaving, Lee.” She yanked her hands back. “If you won’t order me, I’ll anger the Colonel.” Kara spun on her heel and darts out of the tent.

“Goddammnit.” Lee’s shoulders slumped. He had to think of something.

~*~

Kara’s breasts ached as she pulled at the bindings where they pinched under her arms. The new covered latrine was a blessing that gave her a few moments of peace between battles, before they started marching again. She barely breathed the horrid stench of human waste underneath her, but she was grateful for the ability to relieve herself when she needed to. For the past three weeks, she barely drank as they'd marched, taking in only as much water as she needed to stay alive. Her body often felt weak, mind fuzzy, but she'd ignored it. Zak needed to be avenged, and every time she heard the muskets and the drums, she imagined his broken body. Despite her passion for Lee, she had loved Zak, too.

With the adjustments made, Kara straightened her uniform jacket and cap and stepped back through the tent, spitting on the ground to expel the taste the latrine’s smell left in her mouth. She gulped down clean air and shuddered, glancing around and rolling her eyes at Costanza. The younger man, just shy of eighteen years old, winked at her. He was a good kid with a knack for staying alive and had been showing her the ropes. He’d been in the unit for more than a year.

“Hey Kieran, want some beans?” Brendon held out a tin.

“Nah. I won’t be able to eat for a while.” she said, pitching her voice low, motioned towards the tented latrine. Brendon chuckled as she plopped down on her bedroll and began dragging things out of her small pack. Word was that they’d be marching towards Vicksburg in the morning and she wanted to be ready.

“Rebels are losing, Kieran. South might surrender soon, yeah?” Brendon said, shoving beans into his mouth. News had reached them of Lee's recent surrender at Gettysburg, but Kara knew the war was far from over.

“You say that every couple of days. As long as the rebels fight, we’re marching towards Richmond. Don’t get your hopes up.” Kara’s empty tin clanged against her rifle as she rummaged through her belongings, fingers lingering on the spine of her bible, the one thing she’d brought from home. She said a small prayer and laid the book alongside her comb and extra pair of socks. She shook the dust out of her pack as Brendon ate and the camp moved in its own rhythm around them.

Across the way she spotted Lee and suppressed a smile. When the troops weren’t fighting, it wasn’t so bad to be here, sitting among the men, listening like she’d done as a child. It was their world she’d wanted to be part of.

~*~

Colonel Saul Tigh snapped his book closed and stood, leaving Lee staring up at him. “We leave at dawn,” the gruff commander said and strode away.

Their orders were clear and despite the heavy rain that had begun to fall, they would march towards Virginia. They could cover fifteen miles in the next day, and if they were lucky, the rain would abate before they stopped to bed down.

Lee scooped up his own papers and maps, and headed back to his small tent. They’d be busy for the next three hours until dark and he needed to coordinate the men. And he needed to see Kara; she possessed his mind and his heart and each night without her pained him.

Lee's gaze sought her out, and he scanned the camp, seizing on Kara’s seated figure for as long as he dared. Tearing his eyes away, he continued his walk towards a group of men gathered around a small cooking stove. His stomach rumbled; it had been hours since he’d eaten anything.

“Major,” said several of the men, nodding as they stepped aside to allow Lee to move through the group. He’d garnered their respect over the past year, not because of his leadership, he thinks, but more because was a fair man who'd kept Colonel Tigh off their backs.

Lee gave an awkward smile to the cook and held out his tin, watching as it was piled with beans and vegetables. His status as an officer got him a chunk of beef, too, and he nodded gratefully. The food didn’t vary much day to day, but he was grateful for what they had.

Making his way through the camp with a full plate, Lee looked out over the deep green of the Kentucky hills, rolling gently into a dense thicket of trees. Despite the toll of war, the beauty of the landscape caught his breath, some of the greenest land he'd ever seen.

With his eyes cast towards the forest, Lee rushed headlong into another man. It jolted him and Lee just managed to catch his tin before it fell to the ground.

“Sir,” Corporal Allison said, his voice drawn out slowly.

Lee jerked back and faced him angrily. “Corporal. Watch where you’re walking. Nearly lost my dinner.” He shook off a stream of juice that ran down his arm.

“Of course, sir,” Allison said, his mouth pulling into an unapologetic moue. Allison’s eyes traveled the length of Lee’s uniform and ending back on his face. “Wouldn’t want you to lose something precious, sir?”

Lee blinked at the disrespect in the man’s words. It simply wasn’t done. Lee bit back an angry retort and drew himself up. He wouldn’t tolerate insubordination. “Your attitude is unbecoming a soldier in the Union Army, Corporal. I suggest you get back to your station and get to work.” Lee held his eyes for a long moment before the man simply walked away.

Taking a long, deep breath, Lee gathered himself and glanced around to see a dozen pair of eyes on him. He kept his posture tight and nodded firmly to the group downhill from him. They wouldn’t see him flustered.

~*~

It was well past midnight when Kara slipped out of her sleeping roll. Most of the fires had been doused and the camp was still as she headed towards the latrine and then sidestepped to pass along the outer edge of the wagons. Horses in the distance whinnied and she paused, listening for others. It was a risk to meet Lee this way, but he’d sent her an urgent message.

The ground beneath her feet was rough as she approached the edge of the forest and she stumbled over a tangle of roots. She cursed and squinted, trying to find Lee in the dark.

“Any louder and you’ll wake the whole camp,” Lee said in a drawn out whisper.

“Damn dark,” she whispered back, stepping cautiously towards his voice.

“Over here. Be careful.”

A minute later, she felt Lee’s hand around her wrist, pulling her towards him. They slid into an urgent embrace.

“God, Kara. I missed you,” Lee whispered into her hair.

Kara pulled him close, reveling in the feel of his stubble against her cheek. She turned her head and captured his lips for a kiss. He tasted like bourbon and cigars when she licked into his mouth. He sighed and tangled his fingers into her short hair to kiss her deeply.

Pulling away breathless, Kara caught the moonlight’s glint in his eyes. “Your note, Lee. What happened?” She kept her arms wrapped around him, soaking up every moment of this stolen moment.

“Corporal Allison. You were right. Bastard shoved right into me this afternoon. Disrespected me in front of the men.” Kara felt him stiffen.

“What are we going to do?” She loosened her grip and leaned back, trying to make out his face in the shadows.

“I don’t know. It pains me to think of you leaving, but it’s too dangerous, Kara. If anything happened to you…” His voice trailed off and he pulled her head against his shoulder. They’d already lost so much when Zak died. Her heart pinched when she thought of him and she squeezed Lee tighter.

“I’m okay, Lee. I’m right here.” Kara punctuated her message by finding his mouth for another kiss, rougher this time, urgent with fear and longing for things they didn’t yet have. Later, they would make a plan; for now, she needed to be with him.

Kara pulled at his lip with her teeth, letting her fingers trail down the silver buttons on his uniform jacket and then under the flap. Lee gasped when she grazed her hand over his crotch. She grinned, thrilled at his response, eager to repeat what had happened just a few days prior.

“Kara, what are you after?” He teased, and she felt his hand skirting under her short coat.

“Whatever do you mean, Major Adama?” She nibbled a trail along his jaw and tugged his earlobe with her teeth. Heat pooled inside her, burning brightly for this man she thought she would never have.

“God, Kara, I want you.” Lee pulled at the buttons on her pants, shoving them open enough to slide a hand inside. She gasped when he touched her, her body vibrating with his closeness. She arched into him when he slid a finger into her wetness, mind spinning with an aching need, and she pressed against his groin. Her body begged for him.

Lee’s fingers worked magic between her legs, bringing her to a sweet and sharp release and she cried out in pleasure. Lee kissed her hard, swallowing the sound in the stillness of the woods.

Fumbling with his buttons, Kara felt his hands over hers, working the clasp free to release him. Her fingers wrapped around, touching the velvety softness, enthralled and wanting, her body still trembling. Kara looked up at him, catching his gaze and the moved to push her pants off her hips.

“Please,” was all she said, and he tore at the buttons on his coat, tossing it open on the ground and pressing her down onto it. Lee settled between her legs and pushed inside, filling her in one slick motion that made her moan and clutch him through the thin fabric of his shirt.

Lee groaned against her neck, moving his hips to meet hers as she bucked against him. She couldn’t get enough of him, of this, of all that she wanted for the rest of her life.

“Lee,” she moaned, low and deep into his ear. Her body was on fire for him.

Lee moved faster, his skin pricking with heat in the summer night, until he groaned, digging his fingers into her shoulders as he gasped her name.

She felt him shudder and then still, his breathing heavy as he raised his hands to palm her cheeks. His face was shadowed, but she sensed his smile and felt happy for a sharp, almost painful moment.

“I love you, Kara. Marry me.” His voice caught as he said the words. “I want you to be my wife.”

Tears stung the corners of Kara’s eyes and she nodded, grinning up at him. “Yes, Lee. Yes.”

~*~

Thick white smoke from a hundred rifles obscured Lee’s vision as he searched the ranks for Kara. Gunfire, in burst after burst, held the front lines of the enemy back. Along their flank, men fell faster and Lee looked anxiously for her white-blond hair. He’d positioned her there, where he thought she’d be safe. Colonel Tigh’s formations, however, hadn't taken into account the heavy morning fog that swept across the field of battle. The enemy had approached faster than they’d expected.

Lee barked orders for a cadre of soldiers to form a skirmish line, thirty men spaced apart to advance on the enemy as it gathered ground. They were their best hope to hold the rebels back.

The men scurried into formation and advanced on his mark. He shouted through the gunfire, calling, “Fire at will!” to his skirmish line. They were in front of the heavy veil of smoke from the rifles – he’d trust them to find their marks.

Around him, he heard the screams of men as they fell, each going down and crawling as best he could behind the firing line. The longer the battle raged, the louder the wails of the dying men.

Just behind the ranks, medics called out, ducking under the smoke to find the wounded to drag them out of the fray. For most, their help was too late and at the end of a long battle, sons, brothers, and husbands were buried where they fell. The war had left a trail of unmarked graves in its wake.

Dashing behind a three-inch rifle, Lee covered his ears as the weapon fired, sending a deadly shot into the heart of the rebels front line. Scanning again, Lee spotted Private Costanza.

“Costanza! Where is Private Thrace?” He shouted over the sharp reports of the weapons.

Brendon yelled back, his face smudged with black powder and dirt. “Last I saw, he was down the line, sir.” The young man pointed west and continued stuffing loading his weapon.

Lee nodded brusquely and picked his way through the limbs of men who’d fallen. He stopped at each one and checked a pulse, gritting his teeth as one after the other were found dead. The ranks thinned as he moved towards the receding edge.

White hair peeked out from a blue cap and Lee fell onto his knees beside her. The body, face down, was covered in blood, and he lifted it up; it was limp but still warm. He turned the head and his breath stopped in his chest.

“Kieran! Kieran!” He slapped her face gently and shook her, running his hand along her body for the wound. Like he’d done for the others, he pressed an ear to her heart and felt it pounding.

“Medic!” He shouted, eyes frantically searching for the white-coated men. When no one came, he began dragging her away from the ranks.

“Major Adama!” He heard his name in a fog, turning only when someone gripped his shoulder.

He spun around, mouth open to protest. Colonel Tigh was bearing down on him. “Get another skirmish line going. I’ll be goddamned if those dirty rebels will get past us.”

“It’s Private Thrace, sir. Getting him to the medic.” Lee pulled again at Kara’s body, determined to get her as far away from the infantry as he could.

“Medic!” Colonel Tigh shouted and Lee watched the blonde medic scurry towards them.

“I’ve got him, sir,” the man said, taking Kara under the shoulders and dragged her away. Lee watched – there was nothing else he could do.

~*~

“Desertion?” Lee gaped at Colonel Tigh and pulled at his collar, sweat from the midday sun dripping between his shoulder blades. After ten hours of fighting, they’d sent the rebels running. Now, after a horrible night of counting the dead and wounded, Colonel Tigh had been informed that Kieran was nowhere to be found.

“Private Kieran Thrace deserted the Union Army during battle. He’ll be hanged if I ever get my hands on him.” Colonel Tigh raged through the small tent, his face red with anger.

“He was wounded, sir,” Lee protested sharply. He still remembered his panic at seeing her blood-covered body. It had only been at the last moment, when she’d squeezed his hand and winked, that he knew she was okay. He could only hope that still held true.

“Wounded, my ass. I knew there was something off about that young man. Take ten healthy men and start a search. I won’t have him putting a blemish on our fine unit.” Colonel Tigh swiped off his hat and wiped his head, spreading long strands of thinning gray hair in all directions.

“Yes, sir.” Lee tightened his fists behind his back, hoping that Kara was long gone. She was on her own and it scared him to death.

~*~

Lee’s men were tired and dirty as they moved through the high grass and spread out over the landscape. Kara had not yet been found and Lee had directed the men away from the route they’d planned the night of his proposal. Eventually, he and his men would move towards the cluster of small farmhouses where she’d planned to go first – for now, he had to give her as much time as possible.

“Sir!” one of the men shouted and Lee glanced sharply towards the sound.

“A bloody rag, sir!” Private Marshall held up a long strand of red cloth that Lee instantly recognized as Kara’s bindings.

“He can’t be far!” Lee shouted and pointed for his men to intensify their search.

The men spread out and picked their way through the edge of the forest and back down the hill towards the dirt road leading to the farmhouses. The air was hot and sticky and many of the men carried their jackets, trudging along the road and stirring up dust as they passed the open fields of knee-high corn.

An hour later, a white farmhouse appeared in the distance, nestled next to a slope-roofed wooden barn. Three horses were corralled behind the house as smoke rose from the chimney. Lee’s heart quickened.

A tiny structure in the grassy area a couple of hundred feet from the main house revealed a well and Lee motioned to his men. “Get yourselves something to drink and have a rest. I’ll take a look around the house.” He watched as they sprinted seized upon the rope and hauled it up and out of the well, sloshing water all over themselves.

Replacing his cap, Lee smoothed a hand over his uniform, feeling for the buttons and fastening the top clasp around his neck. Beneath his jacket, he was soaked with sweat and he mopped his brow with a handkerchief.

Lee stepped onto the small wooden porch and knocked firmly on the slatted door. He glanced to his right, seeing the men drinking and cavorting near the well. They didn’t seem to be too interested in finding Private Thrace.

When no answer came, Lee pounded again, loud enough this time, that he sensed the men looking in his direction. When a few approached, Lee stepped off the porch and pointed to the barn as he moved towards it.

One of the men let out a low cat-whistle behind him and Lee stopped short.

“Well, look what we have here,” Private Allen drawled. Lee followed his gaze and saw a young woman in a pale blue dress and apron. She had pressed herself against the side of the house, her face obscured by a white bonnet.

“Private!” Lee said sharply as the man approached the young woman.

Allen stopped in his tracks and Lee waved him back towards the others before turning his gaze on the woman.

“Ma’am,” Lee said, removing his cap and positioning himself between the woman and his men. It had been a few weeks since they’d been away from the confines of their unit and his men were restless and tired of war.

“My father is in the fields. Don’t want no trouble.” Her voice was low, lilting with the Kentucky accent he’d heard peppered throughout their journey through the green hills of the state.

Lee knew that a woman alone could turn bad fast. “Allen, Marshall, take the rest of the men and search the barn. I’ll speak to the young miss.” He kept his eyes on them as they passed by, eyes drawn to the figure behind him.

“Ma’am,” several of them said as they passed, tipping their caps like the soldiers he expected them to be. Allen trailed behind and Lee shot him a glare. When the men were out of sight, Lee stepped forward, a small smile lighting his lips.

“They’re gone,” he whispered.

Kara turned her head slightly and peaked cautiously past the bonnet. He’d loved Kara Thrace for so long that no disguise could possibly hide her from his view. “Lee!”

“You’re okay!” Lee breathed, grinning and coughing to cover his laughter. His body swayed in her direction but he kept himself in place.

Kara grinned, her face shining with relief. “I’ve got to get North, Lee. I’ve been here too long already. Slept in the barn and came out when I saw you on the road.”

“I want to hold you so badly, Kara.” Lee balled his hands into fists, restraining himself. He must stay calm or everything would be lost.

“Soon, Lee. Soon you’ll be back home.” Kara twisted her fingers into her dress, her own longing showing clearly in her face.

“We’ll be married as soon as I arrive home, Kara. I promise.” He wanted more than anything for the two of them to start their lives together.

“Yes, Lee. Soon.” She touched her lips to her mouth and released a puff of air. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice barely a whisper.

“Me, too,” Lee said, squaring his shoulders as he heard the rustle of his men returning. “Thank you, ma’am. Please stay away from Private Thrace if you see him. He’s a disgrace to his unit and anyone caught aiding in his escape will be hanged, too.”

“Yes, sir,” Kara said, resuming her lilting southern drawl, and then turned and ran behind the house and out of sight.

~*~

Kara sat heavily on the steps, her fingers gripping the letter, Lee’s neat script blurring as tears filled her eyes. He was coming home.

Dearest Darling Kara,

I am writing to tell you that I shall soon be returning to Caledonia. It is with a sad heart that I must inform you that I was wounded at Chatanooga and have sustained an injury that leaves me walking with a limp and using a cane. The doctor has told me that I may one day regain full use of the leg, but he said it would take time. I am worried to return home to you a wounded man, less than I was before. I hope you will have me.

Yours eternally,
Leland J. Adama

The image of Lee wounded and in pain settled into her heart, releasing the helplessness she’d been feeling since she left him in Kentucky. Her journey back to Caledonia had taken more than a month, only to return to find her employer and master of the house dead from typhoid fever. His three small children had been running amok, their mother nearly paralyzed with grief. Soon, she abandoned her role as a maid to become a full time nurse for the two girls and boy.

Their chatter preceded them as they clomped up the steps, one floor below her. Kara folded her letter and quickly wiped her tears. She didn’t care how Lee returned, she just wanted him back.

“Miss Kara,” Angelina’s voice called to her as she climbed up the first few steps. The tiny dark-haired girl was just past four years old and had clung to Kara since her return. “Danny said he’s going to tell on me!” Her face pinched into a grumpy frown.

“Tell on you for what, Angel?” Kara smoothed her hair and gathered herself. One crying woman in the house was enough for any one.

“For hitting Martha. But she was mean to me, Kara!” The little girl jutted out her chin and put her hands on her hips.

“So, do you think hitting Martha was the right thing to do?” Kara slid down three steps and stopped next to the girl.

Angelina dropped her head and looked up at Kara with wide brown eyes. She was nearly impossible to scold, scampering around the house and being generally charming. Kara had to admit that she loved Angelina more than the two older kids, the ones who carried their mother’s pale coloring. Somehow the little girl reminded her of Zak.

“And what do you think we should do now? Maybe apologize to Martha?” Kara stood and reached out to Angelina who pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. Stubborn. Yup, just like Zak.

“Kara! Kara!” Danny’s voice sounded from below her. “Come quick!”

Kara swooped up Angelina into her arms and dashed down the steps, stopping short when she saw who it was. “Oh, my lord!” she gasped, letting Angelina slide out of her arms.

“I just received your letter,” she said, breathless, staring at the beautiful face of Lee Adama. She scanned his uniform quickly, saw the cane gripped in his left hand, returned her eyes to his bright blue ones. “How are you here already?”

“Kara,” his voice was rough with emotion and his words popped into her mind. I hope you will have me.

Kara stepped towards him, close enough to see the tiredness under his eyes and the few days of stubble on his jaw. “I’m so happy you are safe,” she said, wanting to touch him, but instead twisting her hands together, mindful of the three sets of eyes gawking at them from the stairs.

Unexpectedly, Angelina pushed her way between the two of them. “Who is this, Miss Kara?” she asked, looking up at Lee to inspect him.

With a laugh, Kara stepped forward to stand next to Lee and to clasp her hand over his where he gripped the cane. He blinked at her, face brightening with relief.

“Children,” she said, her voice catching. “Please allow me to introduce my fiancé, Major Leland Adama.”