Archive of Our Own ^beta

She had never seen him cry.

It was strange to think about. She had seen him at the heights of all sorts of other emotions but she had never seen him cry.

Watching him now, sitting alone in the middle of a bright white room, fighting back tears, she decided she didn't like it. He was always so strong, so loud, so vibrantly capable it felt wrong to see him without any of it, stripped down to a little child who had just lost his brother in the worst way possible.

She hesitated in the doorway, unknowing whether he was the type who needed the comfort of others or just worked better when left alone. She considered the latter option but decided she wouldn't be able to take even one step back. The desire to help him was too strong.

She knocked lightly on the doorframe so he would she know she was there and stepped into the room, even the pad of her stockings too loud in this blank space.

She knelt down behind him and set one hand lightly on his back. She could feel him shivering.

She sighed, her breath slightly moving the hair at the back of his neck. He just shook a little harder.

She couldn't stand to watch him grieve anymore so she sat up and leaned forward, wrapping both of her arms around his neck and pulling him back to her. One of his hands came up and covered her own, holding lightly. She squeezed his fingers.

His legs unfolded but he still wasn't willing to face her so she moved around to his side and wrapped her arms sideways around his entire chest. That was it.

He turned fully to face her and wrapped his arms around her, his face pressed into her shoulder. She readjusted her arms on his back and rubbed slowly up and down, feeling the tears snake from his eyes and fall onto the pad of her school jacket.

He was a relatively quiet crier, muffling his gasps and hiccups in her shirt which was something else she hadn't expected of him. Then again, she seemed to often forget he was a member of the Kertia clan, the quietest of them all.

That was right. She almost stopped rubbing his back in shock. He was the leader of the Kertia clan now.

She looked down at the messy bunch of blonde curls resting against her. How had it come to this? He was barely 500 and she barely 200. They weren't supposed to have such responsibility this young. In a right world they would have had millennia before the two of them would even dream of holding soul weapons and commanding entire clans. But with Rajak and their parents gone, she held in a hiccup of her own, it was up to them now.

She lowered her head to rest lightly on his, noticing how the shaking had subsided to a mere intermittent vibration. She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. She lowered her mouth near his ear.

"What are we going to do now, Rael?"

He took a shuddering breath.

"I don't know," came his muffled answer. Her hands dropped to her sides and her eyes fixated on the floor.

"We're clan leaders now," she whispered.

"I know," he responded.

She sighed and pulled him to her, less holding him than hugging him and he held on just as tight, wrapping his arms further around her.

"I'm going to miss him dreadfully," she murmured. His hand stroked over her hair and she had never felt a motion so understanding in her entire life.

They sat there for several minutes, just holding each other up, then a silent agreement was made to pull back. Their arms were still connected and his eyes were red rimmed but a pact had been made. They would support each other, hold up against the tide of everything, because in those moments, they were exactly the same.

Author's note: Maybe it's my secret weakness for Tsunderes but I've always shipped this pairing like FedEx. Please R&R.